People Plead For Us To Give Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories A Verdict
37. AITJ For Adding My Brother's Ex-Wife's New Child To My Life Insurance Policy?
“My (41 f) younger brother Brian (35 m) married Amy (34 f) 11 years ago. I really like Amy; she and I have a lot in common, and we became friends pretty quickly. Brian and I have always had a somewhat tense relationship, stemming from a messed up traumatic childhood, but our relationship improved when he and Amy started going out.
When they got married, I was super happy for them.
Amy had a young child, Jeni. Jeni was 2 when they met. I immediately accepted Jeni as my own niece, and when Brian and Amy had 2 more kids, Erin and Candace, there was no difference between the three of them in how I treated them.
We had fun when I’d visit, and now that I live a little further away, and they’re older, we play games online, and chat, and I stay engaged.
3 ago, Brian and Amy got a divorce. I didn’t take sides, and it didn’t change my relationship with any of the girls – they’re all still kids I care a great deal about.
Amy got full-time custody, and Brian sees them fairly regularly.
2 years ago, Amy reconnected with a guy she’d dated in high school, and they hit it off. And now there’s a new child, River. I’ve only had one chance to meet River, given the global situation, but I treat her the same as her sisters – she’s my newest niece.
I asked Amy for River’s social security number, so I could get her on my life insurance policy – it’s a $500,000 policy offered through work. Amy thought it was kind that I’d accepted River so completely – and Jeni, Erin, and Candace all seem to be pretty happy that we’re family, too.
Adding River to the policy seemed practical – and I mean, I’m not exactly planning on dying any time soon.
Anyway, Brian moved in with a partner he hadn’t mentioned, Janet (26 f), about six months ago. Hadn’t met her before – didn’t even know she existed. Apparently, Janet has a baby, Michaela.
Brian contacted me to ask me to put Michaela on my policies and take off Jeni.
I let him know that I’d like to meet Janet and Michaela first and build a relationship. Also, I wasn’t going to take Jeni and River off the policy; if anything, Michaela would be the fifth niece added. When I mentioned that River was on the policy, he blew up – apparently, he thinks that only my b***d relatives should stand to receive benefits if I die.
He’s making this huge deal about it, saying if I don’t put Michaela on the policy and take off River and Jeni, I don’t get to meet her, and he threatened me with going no contact. I told him that’s unfortunate, and I’d be sad to miss out on his life and Janet’s and Michaela’s; but also, if he feels like he needs to do that, so be it.
He’s also tried to tell Amy that I don’t get to chat with the kids anymore, and Amy is having none of it – basically, he can be as mad as he wants to, but she’s not going to get involved in the issues between siblings, nor is she going to deprive the kids of an adult who cares about them.
I don’t think I’m the jerk here, but the intensity with which Brian’s coming at me is just… a lot.”
36. AITJ For Cutting My Father And His Family Off After He Spent My Savings On A Vacation?
“I (17 M) have been saving for university and future spending since I was legally allowed to. I have taken positions as a lifeguard during summertime, and as a part-time waiter, the rest of the year striking a balance between my work life and student obligations. University is not very expensive (I’m not from the US), but I want to pay for it on my own, and I have saved for the first two years.
I put the money on my bookshelf in an envelope.
My father remarried my stepmom 5 years ago (53 M and 50 F). They always talk about traveling and spend their free time looking at YouTube videos of other cities. They have always talked about going on a romantic trip to Paris.
Two weeks ago they finally accomplished their objective and went to Paris.
They spared no expense: flew on business class, stayed at a very nice hotel, and booked top-class restaurants. Overall, they had an amazing time.
Yesterday I went for some money for a set of headphones, when I noticed part of the money was gone. I quickly ran to my father and asked him if he knew about the money.
He told me they took it for the trip to Paris since they could manage my finances and belongings as I was a minor and both have full custody of me. I stormed off and went for a walk. Bear in mind they have stolen around 3000€.
At night they came to me and offered to return me the funds provided I pay for rent and food from then on.
They claim that since I wanted to be independent, this has to be in every aspect. I was beyond shocked they had the nerve of saying such a thing. I quickly packed a backpack and now I am staying for a few days with my significant other. They are bombarding me with texts saying I am being very immature and therefore that money was reasonably managed by them.
My father’s family is telling me that I am being very unreasonable and that I should be understanding as they have raised me and invested a lot of money in me. However, most of my cousins side with me. Now I’m in no contact with all of them.
AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Not Giving My Thieving Mon Any More Money?
“I (19 F) live alone with my mother (55 F). We live in a house owned by my dad (57 M). While he doesn’t live with us he still pays for all the bills and utilities on our house which leaves us to pay for internet, gas, groceries, and other streaming services. I chip in $100 a month for groceries.
A couple of weeks ago she got into a car accident. Somebody ran a red light and got T-boned by my mom’s SUV. Both cars ended up getting totaled. My mom does Instacart and Doordash for a living so she really relies on her car. She asked to loan $100 from me to get back on her feet.
All I asked is that she doesn’t snap at me, raise her voice or start a fight with me, at least until she can pay me back. Because we fight all the time and it’s exhausting.
Her birthday party was 2 days ago, she spent the majority of it away on bottles of booze and other party supplies.
While helping her get the house ready, she screamed in my face about how I’m always doing everything wrong and never doing anything right. She proceeded to call me stupid, useless, and other names to the point I was in tears. I begged her to please stop. She puffed out her bottom lip and started making a crying motion with her hands mimicking tears, ‘Oh poor OP, your life is so hard.
Boo-Hoo…’ I ended up having to leave home in the middle of the night and stay at a friend’s house. I ended up coming home later in the day and attended the party.
Today I saw I only had $30 in my bank account. When I was going through my bank history, I saw $30 was removed from my account (I have a teen account under her bank account from when I was a minor and never changed it as she always talked me out of it).
Apparently, she was billed $50 for something that had to do with her car (details are honestly fuzzy to me) and instead of her account being overdrafted she transferred over $30 from my account into hers without consulting me. I was LIVID.
She said it was when I left after our big fight and that I was ‘ignoring’ her and left her no choice.
I told her just because it was there it’s no excuse to take it without asking. She promised to pay me back double what she owed once she gets funds from her insurance and then asked if I could lend her 30 more dollars to pay for her phone bill because she ran out of service and can’t call them without it.
Here’s where I may be the jerk… I told her no, she’s not gonna take another dime from me after she already stole 30 bucks from me and threw the $100 I gave her on liquor. She told me she was drowning and begging for my help. I told her, ‘You’re going down and I’m not gonna let you drag me with you.’
She’s now calling me a selfish jerk. I’m starting to feel like it because I could give her the money as I do get my paycheck this week. I keep going back and forth on that I don’t need the funds and I’m technically in the position to give her it, but also it is my money and every time I do lend her it she treats me horribly.
So AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Not Caring About My Sister-In-Law's Food Allergies?
“I got married this weekend and everything was absolutely perfect except for one of my brothers and his wife.
They caused a fair amount of drama and I don’t know how to handle it going forward.
My brother was annoyed that he did not have a spot in my wedding. I did not have a spot in his, and my college friends were my groomsmen. We didn’t have ushers and my wife’s cousin DJ’d because he offered and had the setup.
Since he was annoyed, we decided to offer a role to help with guestbooks and gifts and thought that would soothe it some. My brother and his wife left the rehearsal dinner early the day before the wedding and another family member heard them trying to come up with excuses as to how to leave early.
Whatever, just the rehearsal dinner, didn’t care that much.
That evening before the wedding, his wife complained to me that she didn’t know what she was going to eat since our dinner at the wedding was breakfast for dinner and she has some obscure food allergies (that she disregards all the time when we go out to eat anyway).
She knew about the wedding meal being breakfast for dinner for 2 years and just mentioned that she could only eat fruit since she has an allergy to butter all of a sudden. Please keep in mind she eats at restaurants regularly, never asks for no butter, and has burgers and fries at fast food places all the time.
I told her, she could bring something to tide her over till cake, or leave and get food and come back if she needs to and left it at that.
The wedding day comes around, she’s complaining all day that all she can eat is fruit and what we could do to accommodate her.
My sister said my sister-in-law complained the whole dinner about being so hungry and only being able to eat fruit. She didn’t talk to us at the wedding at all and my brother took my sister-in-law away for an hour and a half to get food then didn’t come back at all for the rest of the wedding.
My brother and sister-in-law tried to get my parents and grandma to leave with them before the cake and first dances took place as well. My brother and sister-in-law refused to come to any family things the entire weekend too.
My grandma and mother are mad at them, and my dad is trying to stay out of it.
My wife and I are incredibly hurt because it felt like they didn’t want to be there and made the day about them. Then on top of it, tried to take the rest of the family away from the wedding when they wanted to leave before cake cutting and the first dances (including the dance with my own mother).
I’m not talking to them at the moment and intend to have a conversation about how they were disrespectful and this wasn’t their day, it was ours. I think it’s even more hurtful that my brother complained about not having a role in our wedding, but even after getting a role, not only did he not do the role, but he and his wife acted like they didn’t want to be there the whole weekend.
But I could be wrong, AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Reacting To Hearing My Friend's Expectations For A Partner?
“Our group of friends has known each other for the better part of our lives. We’re all in our late twenties and early thirties, and honestly, everyone has a lot to do these days, with each having chosen a different career path we don’t meet that often anymore. However, we try to meet at least once every two or three months.
Unfortunately, I have not been able to be at present as often in the last few gatherings. I founded a company in the tech industry years ago, and work my butt off to make sure it succeeds. Thus, my schedule isn’t really that flexible, causing me to not be able to be present at these social events.
I managed to free some time and actually went to their last event. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a simple dinner party. We were having a pleasurable time, talking, laughing and just spending a good time. When a friend asked me why I could not come to the other meetings.
I explained the situation, and suddenly this woman started to talk over us. She said that she would never date someone who worked so much (not that anyone asked her), and proceeded to talk about her ideal partner (something still no one asked for), how the man had to, and I quote: ‘Be successful in his career, be fit and healthy, be a gentleman and always shower her with presents’ but, she also said: ‘He needs to spend a lot of time with me, and not be over-focused on himself always thinking of me first.’
Now, this doesn’t seem like bad standards, right? The thing is, she said more, I just don’t think I should write it. First, I don’t think anyone who wants to be successful in their career will have ‘tons’ of time to spend with their partner. Especially if they need to be fit (understand fit in the context of bodybuilding Instagrammers), and the part about the gifts just made me shiver.
I admit, I should have just laughed it off or smiled it off, but I just spoke without realizing, ‘That’s insane’. You can assume she was extremely offended by that. I tried to explain that I didn’t think anyone in this world fits those criteria, but it was just my thoughts, and she shouldn’t care about them.
But the damage was done.
These past few days, I have been told by more than one of my friends, she has been badmouthing me. Which is understandable, as I should have kept my mouth shut. Regardless, what is done is done. But, I don’t think I was that much of a jerk given the situation.
I mean, she spoke over us, was rude and honestly, I still think she was insane.
That being said, I’m trying to decide how much of a jerk I was here. Apologizing is definitely the best way, but I would be lying if I said I would be honest about it.
Thus, I wanted to ask your thoughts.”
32. AITJ For Getting Tired Of My Mom Asking About The Will?
“My grandmother died last year. My sister and I learned that she had left everything to us. This included her 250-acre farm, the funds she had saved up (which wasn’t life-changing, but still a good bit), and gas/oil mineral rights which she was getting paid extremely well for.
This all comes into play eventually.
She and my mom didn’t have the best relationship. They fought a lot. Mostly because my mom didn’t like how she did things. She also borrowed funds from her a lot. It was always a substantial amount.
When she died, we were at the farm for weekends on end.
Cleaning it out, going through things, etc. Anytime we came across something my mom would look at my sister and I and would say ‘I assume this place is yours now it’s up to you what you do with it.’ This was before the lawyer reached out about the will.
Once she learned we met with the lawyer about the will, she asked us for a copy. Just to clarify, there was nothing left for her. No money, land, nothing. All of a sudden, she became interested in how the will was set up. My sister and I know how she is, we said no. We knew she asked our grandma for money all of the time.
We assumed she was afraid we wouldn’t help her out like our grandma did.
Every month she’d text me asking if I got my mineral rights check (she knew they were good from helping my grandma understand them). I always shied away from answering. I don’t like talking about money because I don’t want to be treated any differently.
She’d ask if the estate was settled. How much we’re getting. All that stuff.
After asking multiple times she finally broke down and told us that she needed to see how the will was set up so she could see why she wasn’t in it. I finally had enough and told her if she was in the will, she would have been notified and she wasn’t, and it’s none of her business.
I feel bad for saying that to her, but my sister said it was the right thing to do.
AITJ? AITJ for telling my mom if she’s not on the will it’s not her business?”
31. AITJ For Causing My Friend To Not Graduate?
“I’m a senior in high school and final grades are due. To pass English and ultimately graduate, you need at least a 60%. I had a 97% and my friend had a 34%.
Since I always do well on my assignments, my friend asked if he could see what I turned in for inspiration. He claimed he didn’t know what he was meant to do on the assignments he was missing and seeing mine would help. I texted him a few screenshots of my projects and assignments believing he would do nothing more than just look.
Perhaps it was presumptuous of me.
A week or so later, I ask him what his grade in English was and he told me 71%. I was pleasantly surprised he managed to get his grade up in such little time. I asked to see what he turned in that made his grade rise as much as it did.
As I’m looking over his assignments, I realized he’s copied every single thing I showed him. For essays, he’s written the same thing as me with the words rearranged. For projects that required drawings, he’s drawn the exact same images I did, not even bothering to change them up. He even managed to take stories personal and specific to me and turn them in as his.
(personal and specific things such as an essay about how hard it was on me and my family after we lost my grandmother or my experience growing up black and autistic)
I was horrified. Everything I spent hours on, he replicated in a matter of minutes. I called him out on it and he said the only thing that matters was the grade and he could’ve turned everything in verbatim and not attempted to change it up (which he did do on some assignments anyway.) I told him the only difference in our work was his was clearly a low-quality version than mine and he’d regret what he did.
The next day I told my English teacher everything. She apologized for not catching on earlier and told me she’d look into it. I’m not quite sure what she did but I received an angry text from my friend saying I ruined his life and because of me he won’t walk the stage during graduation.
He said it wasn’t that big a deal and I should’ve just let it go instead of whining about it. He told me hated me.
I asked another friend what she thought and she said I was in the wrong for turning him in when I could’ve gotten him back in a way that didn’t involve his future.
She said she’d hate me too if she was in his shoes and it was partially my fault for showing him the work anyway. Am I the jerk?”
30. AITJ For Selling The House My Brother And I Co-Own?
“I (36 f) own a house with my brother Mark (35 m) and his wife Stephanie (33 f). We bought it about 2 years ago. Only Stephanie and I are on the loan because Mark had bad credit. They had very little income on paper, so I was qualifying us for the loan, although her parents gave some $ for a downpayment.
He’s on the deed, and each of us owns 1/3.
As an adult, I almost never saw Mark after I left as a teenager following some trauma. We never got along, as I was the scapegoat kid for those familiar with trashy family dynamics and Mark could do no wrong. When I got a job in his town I moved in with him in a rental, we were both excited to reconnect.
I was in the market for a house, so I suggested we buy a triplex together, live in the big unit on the cheap, and rent out the other two. We did that at a good time, and now we all have some decent equity due to good timing. They would’ve been several years from purchasing a house without me, and definitely not one at the price point and with income, like the one we bought.
One day about 6 months after we closed, out of the blue, Mark went off on me, yelling how much he hates me, everyone hates me, and how awful I am. Our mom was there, as was Stephanie. They agree it was awful and uncalled for. I told him how hurt that made me, I was really devastated. But if he hates me there’s no reason to own a home together, we could sell.
He didn’t want to annoy his wife (she was livid with him) so he suggested that Stephanie and I take him off the deed instead of selling. We agreed and started making arrangements. That made him even madder (I think he wanted us to say no), so I backed down.
To his credit, a few weeks later he apologized and said he didn’t mean those things. However I’m used to being the scapegoat in the family, and I didn’t want to live in a situation where he’ll blame his stressors on me in such an awful way.
Plus, I’m the minority owner against those two. So I moved out, but I thought we could heal our relationship better without me being there.
Months went by, and no word from him except to ask for money for repairs. I was feeling resentful and used like they got me out of their dream home.
So I asked them to buy me out. They were upset but understood and asked for a few months to get qualified, and I was ok with that.
Well a few months went by, and prices went up a lot, THEN even more months went by, and rates went up a ton, and now he’s telling me his marriage is on the rocks because Stephanie is so mad, they’ll have to pay a bunch more now, and it’s all my fault and he hates me again.
I said we could sell, and they could take the 200k they made off in 2 years and buy something more affordable. He thinks I’m doing this out of revenge, but really I’m not. I want the best for them, I just don’t want to be in a business partnership with them anymore.
I had a lot of hope we could heal our relationship but after this, I don’t think that’s possible. I’m too hurt. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter But The Book She Wants With Her Birthday Money?
“My 12-year-old daughter recently got money for her birthday, given by her step mum. She has been talking A LOT about a show called ‘Hamilton’ recently, So when we were passing a bookstore, I asked if she wanted anything.
She said no, as she didn’t really have any books in mind. So I asked if the show she was talking about (Hamilton) Had a book. She didn’t know, so after a bit of research, We went to see if the shop had it. Turns out it didn’t, but the woman at the front desk said it was being restocked in 3-4 weeks.
I asked my daughter if she was fine with waiting, or wanted a different book as I saw Percy Jackson on sale and heard it was similar to harry potter. She said she could wait, so I asked how expensive the book was and it was expensive. if we bought it, it would use up all her birthday money, but she said it was fine.
I instead told her to just wait until November, when her aunt was coming back from Britain, but she said she didn’t want to wait and was fine with using her money as she didn’t really want to buy anything else. But to be honest, I wasn’t fine with it.
Since it’s so expensive it’s probably really thick. And I don’t wanna spend all her birthday money on a book she’ll probably only spend 1 week reading Because she can read 400-page stories in 3 days’ time.
After we left the book store I told her this, and she said ‘Ok’ but hasn’t been talking to me much except asking when meals are ready.
I honestly feel like I’m NOT the jerk as I just don’t want her to waste her birthday money, and besides her aunt can give her the book in a few months as she’s a little wealthy and enjoys spoiling the kids in the family.
So, do you people think I’m in the wrong?”
28. AITJ For Snapping At My Roommate And Telling Her How Much I Earn?
“I (25 M) have been sharing my apartment with my friend Alex for 4 years. About two months ago Alex asked if I was willing to let a friend of his named Sophie move in with us.
I agreed because I planned to make a down payment on a house and move out within two years. By having Sophie around she could take my place and make it so that Alex does not have to worry about any increases in expenses.
When Sophie moved in things were good for two weeks until I had to leave for work.
This was when she learned that I was a Miner and leave for two weeks at a time. When I got back my problems with her began when she would constantly talk about climate change. She would constantly try to ‘educate’ us on how and why we should change our habits.
The real frustration was when she started going after me and my job. She would constantly say that within 10 years I will have no job. This was accompanied by having this ridiculous and false notion that I am poor and work for minimum wage. To try and ‘help’ me she would constantly give me college program pamphlets and job postings to find a ‘better’ job.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she brought her parents into this. Sophie made her parents think I am poor which resulted in them calling me to discuss ‘financial assistance’. After declining their help and ending the call I was absolutely livid. I then sat Sophie down and said that all her talk about my job, finances, and education is really annoying me and to drop it.
In response, she said that she is just trying to help someone ‘worse off’. This is when I snapped at her and not only told her my salary but proof I make 100K per year. I then flipped the tables on her and went after her degree in environmental justice.
I said that it was worthless and that she might as well start working at McDonald’s to pay off her debt as she will never get a real job.
After our argument, we didn’t really speak with each other until after I returned from my next work period. Upon returning this week she started demanding I pay more for rent as I make more and that I should apologize for what I said to her.
I refused and said that she doesn’t like me or the arrangements she is free to leave at any time.
Am I the jerk here?”
27. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Stop Touching Me?
“I (34 f) have always disliked being hugged. I’ll tolerate it for some people, especially kids, but I really don’t care for it at all. My parents have accepted it and don’t force it on me, but my sister (29 f) either can’t understand or doesn’t care (I suspect the latter as she has never respected any of my boundaries.) We are not particularly close – in fact, I typically avoid spending any more time with her than necessary for various reasons.
The one thing she does that annoys me more than anything is constantly touching or hugging me, especially if I’ve already avoided it. She’ll walk up and try to hug me, and if I pull away, she gets mad and says I’m hurting her feelings. Then later on when I’m unsuspecting, she’ll sneak up and either hug me or kiss me on my head, which is another thing I hate and she knows it.
For some reason, even though my parents don’t push me to hug them, they constantly tell me, ‘If you’d just hug her, she’d stop this,’ rather than teaching their grown-up child about boundaries. The few times I’ve tried being nice on special occasions, she has taken advantage and squeezes really tight and won’t let go, to the point I have to physically pry her off me.
Here’s where I may be the jerk. She had some friends over to my parents one day, and she went in to hug me. For reference, these are friends she’s had for a while. I’ve met them, and they know I hate being hugged and have respected that and never try to hug me when I see them.
We had already argued earlier that day, which certainly didn’t make me want affection from her. I snapped and yelled, ‘Stop touching me!’ Her friends just looked at us and told her maybe she should listen to me for once. She got mad, and my parents said I’m wrong because I embarrassed her in front of her friends and should have just tolerated it.
I don’t think I did anything wrong, because it’s not like this is some new thing where I don’t like being touched, I’ve always disliked it. AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Refusing To Get A Brain Scan?
“My younger sister died from brain cancer 2-ish weeks ago, on the 11th. She, I, and 2 of our other siblings as well as several other family members including my mom have a condition known as Li-Fraumeni syndrome, which puts you at a higher risk for certain cancers, including brain cancers.
My mom has really become protective over us since my sister died, and I get it, losing a child is very hard, and when the other children have genetic problems that put them at risk, that is hard too, and so I get why she does what she does.
Back in March, I (16 f) had some balance problems, and I have had headaches off and on recently.
I am not concerned at all, because this could really be explained without immediately jumping to cancer, but when I told my mom about it, that’s what happened. Now I know that my genetic condition puts me at a much higher risk for cancer, especially in childhood/adolescence/young adulthood, but listen, I am sure I’m fine.
She told me she was taking me in for a brain scan, and I told her that I’m fine and don’t need it.
Now I should mention that my mother is pregnant again, and so her hormones are wack, and she proceeded to start crying, telling me that she wants to be able to save me and that if I was a good daughter I would humor her and at least get scanned.
I hate doctors, like more than anything, I have a genuine phobia of being in the hospital, and I think it’s unnecessary anyways so I declined again and told her that if my headaches started getting worse or I showed more symptoms, I promised her she could take me in.
That isn’t good enough for her though because she claims that we need to catch it early to give me a better chance at survival.
Things have been pretty tense since, and she’s starting to freak me out a bit. Before my sister was diagnosed my mom was never really big on doctors and dismissed a lot of my health concerns, but now she seems overly concerned.
AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Leaving Our Daughter With Me While I Was Sleeping?
“I and my partner have a 3-month-old beautiful baby girl. We split the childcare where I do about 90% and he does about 10% because he’s working.
So our daughter hasn’t been feeding as much due to reflux and as a result, we’ve been feeding her every 2 hours to make sure she gets the food she needs.
Unfortunately, this routine has affected her nighttime feeding habits and she’s waking up more often, to the point that I’m only getting 4 hours of sleep a night during the week. My very cute daughter woke up at 3 am this morning for food and it was very hard for me to get up, as I felt exhausted and dizzy.
I crawled back into bed at about 5:20 and it took a while for my daughter to settle back down. Anyway as I crawled into bed I told my partner that he had about an hour before she was due to be fed again.
At precisely 6:20 I woke up to my daughter starting to cry because she’s woken up hungry and my partner was nowhere in sight.
I pick my daughter up in her little basket and go looking for my partner absolutely furious at him. I find him coming out of the living room with an ‘oh gosh’ look on his face. I hand the baby over to him and he said he was going to feed her but didn’t know she was awake.
I tried to go back to bed but couldn’t as I was too worked up and made myself breakfast while my partner was changing our daughter. When he came into the living room I snapped at him that I might as well feed her now that I was up. That he should have taken her with him when he left the bedroom and the whole point of him doing the morning feed is so that I can get some sleep, but instead, he’s leaving her in the bedroom with me and waking me up.
He gets mad that I didn’t show any appreciation for him taking the bins out. I snapped at him again asking where’s my appreciation for staying up with the baby until she settles so he can get a decent amount of sleep. for making sure he has time away from her crying and having time to himself.
That I haven’t had time to myself since she came home from the hospital 9 weeks ago and for the past week I’ve coped on four hours of sleep a day, which I’m coping with despite my spiralling mood.
I feel like I might have just reacted because I’m tired, I feel like I’m a jerk.
Edit: He wasn’t taking the bins out when she was crying. He was in the living room doing stretches. He didn’t do the bins until after I started feeding her.”
24. WIBTJ If I Suddenly Move To A Different Office Stall?
“I (F, 25) am overweight. I have had hormonal issues since I was a teenager, and no amount of exercise or dieting can reduce my weight.
Despite all this, I am relatively healthy.
I started my job the same day as another woman, ‘Jane’ so we built up a bit of a camaraderie over it. Our places are adjacent to each other. During our lunch break yesterday, Jane had brought a salad while I had brought a few slices of pizza.
Jane peeked over at my stall and harrumphed. I asked her what was wrong, and she just smiled and said that I was ruining my health. I know that I don’t have to defend myself, but I nevertheless told her that eating pizza for a day isn’t going to ruin my health.
She then said in a patronizing voice that I was already obese and that eating so much junk food would make me even ‘lazier’.
Jane and I have known each other for less than three weeks, and this generalizing, ‘overweight people are lazy’ statement really upset me. I told her to please go away as she was butting over my personal space.
Jane had the audacity to look as if I had wronged her. I pretty much ignored her the rest of the day.
As we were leaving, Jane came to me with an apologetic smile and said ‘I’m really sorry if I offended you, I understand that I should not have said that.
It’s just that the ‘fat acceptance’ movement upsets me as my mom is a doctor who has told me many horror stories of people’s lives getting ruined because they refuse to reduce weight. I really care for you, and don’t want you to go down that path.’
I accepted her apology.
Today, she was overtly friendly with me, most likely to compensate for what she had said yesterday, but at lunch, she started giving me pointers on losing weight. I made it pretty clear that I didn’t want to talk about it, but she kept on speaking to the point that it made me uncomfortable.
I am thinking of changing my office stall, but I am worried that it will hurt Jane. My partner thinks that I should just tell her about my medical condition so she shuts up, but I am uncomfortable about disclosing it to someone I just met a few weeks ago.
WIBTJ if I did that without any explanation?”
23. AITJ For Taking A Leave And Not Helping The New Manager?
“I have been with the ‘company’ for almost 3 years as an assistant to the manager. About 8 months ago my manager’s health took a slight turn (sucks because they are a fantastic person) and they officially made me assistant manager.
Since then I have taken on a lot of my manager’s responsibilities and have run the department on multiple occasions while they were away for various reasons,
A number of weeks ago my manger resigned and finished up a couple of days later. I put my hand up for the role, and all discussions with upper management indicated that I would be next in line.
So for the next few weeks I carried on and ran the department as usual (I should add, with no issues).
Last week a new manager for the department was hired and they started a day later. I’m not sure why I was overlooked and nothing has been told to me, but the new person really knows nothing specific to this department.
Managerial skills are still yet to be determined but I spent the next day essentially teaching them what to do from the ground up. This frustrated me and so I took annual leave all last week and my phone hasn’t stopped ringing, because the new manager really doesn’t know anything about our specific department, and they have no clue what to do day to day.
I haven’t been answering. Sure they might be a good manager with past experience, but if they were hired over me, then they should be able to do the job right? My friends are telling me I’m being petty and that I should******* up and help them but I really feel if they wanted someone that could do the work, they should have promoted me to the role.
My leave finishes soon and I’m conflicted about how I should proceed,
I do enjoy my job and have no intention of leaving, but who knows.”
22. AITJ For Walking Out After Finding Out That Coworker I'm Covering For Was Not Sick?
“I (F 21) work at a bowling alley. I love my coworkers and my job. I’m always willing to pick up a shift if someone’s asking me.
Two weeks ago, my coworker asked if I could cover her shift for yesterday.
Of course, I said yes. Two days before she send me a message saying she wanted to work the shift herself because her mother would come to play a game of bowling. I didn’t like it but said yes. So I gave back her shift.
A day before that shift she messaged me again, asking again if I could cover the shift because she was sick.
I was kinda mad but sure. She was sick so I was willing to cover for her.
Fast forward to the day of the shift (yesterday). I was working for her. Her mother walked in for the planned game she was playing and we had a small talk about coworker and the job.
No biggie, was a nice talk. Thirty minutes later, coworker walks in. Happily talking to her mother, not sick.
I talked about the situation before to my supervisor that day, explaining how things went between me and coworker. So I went to my supervisor, and said ‘coworker just walked in’.
I was mad about this.
I’m willing to cover a shift for everyone but I thought she was sick! Supervisor told me it was a weird situation and if coworker wasn’t sick, she should work her shift herself. So I went over to her. Said, ‘If you’re not sick you are gonna have to work yourself.’ I was mad as I mentioned before.
So I said it in kind of a harsh way but didn’t yell or swear at her.
I grabbed my stuff and walked out. On my way out I saw coworker crying with her mother and overheard them saying I was a jerk for expecting her to work.
I’m not quite sure if I’m the jerk in this situation.
I don’t think I am but coworker and her mom said I was.
Am I the jerk?”
21. AITJ For Taking The Kids' Drone?
“I (23 F) moved into a home with my disabled mother (56 F) 9 years ago. When we first moved in she was a lot more mobile but she’s now got to the point where she is basically bed bound so I provide her care 24/7 and maintain the home and land by myself.
Not long after we moved in we met the family who owned the property next to us who we thought were great, their kids (4 boys) while occasionally noisy and loud were all under the age of 10 with their oldest turning 10 a month after we moved in. The noise didn’t bother us much.
They were children having fun outside doing what kids do and they were always inside before it was late so it didn’t create any issues or disrupt anything so why would we have reason to complain?
As the boys have grown older (all now 19-15) their behavior has become less charming and more concerning.
I never used to have an issue with them talking to me over the fence when they saw me but as of the last year or so, they’ve all got to the point where some of the things they say make my skin crawl and I usually end up going inside.
I tried to be understanding as they lost their mother in early 2021 and thought they might be acting out due to grief but the last thing they did was the final straw for me.
My bedroom is upstairs in the back of the house and nothing can be seen through the window from outside as there are no houses backing onto ours.
Last week when I was in the garden I noticed that they were watching me over the fence but didn’t say anything, I got so uncomfortable I stopped my work and went inside to shower. As I was changing in my bedroom however I started to feel uncomfortable like someone was there and when I looked up I noticed they were flying their drone right outside my open window and the camera was facing straight at me.
I was furious. I managed to grab the drone through the open window and covered it with a towel then stuffed it under my bed and then tried to figure out what to do next.
Later that night their father came over pounding on my door and demanded I give them the drone back or he would report me for theft. I asked him if he knew why I had taken it from them to which he explained the exact situation that happened and said that wasn’t a good enough reason to take it.
I told him until I had proof that all videos they had taken were deleted and hadn’t been shared I wouldn’t give it back. I said to call the cops, I’d tell them exactly what had happened, why I took it and won’t give it back because my security camera that covers only my garden had caught the whole thing and we would see who’s in more trouble then.
He then accused me of theft and blackmail saying they’re only having fun and I’m overreacting/causing an issue. I said if I knew the video was gone I would give it back but until then I won’t and if he wants he can call the cops but I won’t be the only one in trouble.
It’s been days and I’m not backing down but I’ve been told I’m a jerk.
AITJ?”
20. AITJ For My Response To My Child-Free Coworkers?
“I (32 F) am currently pregnant with my first child (15 weeks along). Also not located in the US.
When my husband (35 M) found out we were pregnant, he took it upon himself to drive me to and from work every day and help me take things into my workplace every morning and carry them back out at the end of the day.
I didn’t ask him to do this for me and have insisted on doing things myself because I can, but I also think it’s sweet he wants to take care of me like that. I am capable of driving and carrying things just fine. However, he really wants to do this for me, so hey not complaining.
I’m not saying anyone should expect their spouse to bend over backward like this during their pregnancy. However, since my husband has volunteered to do this, I am not going to say no to being pampered either.
I am not the first person in my department to be pregnant or have kids, but I am the youngest. My colleagues seeing this every day have made comments, but nothing rude.
They just commented on what my husband does for me, which again is really incredibly sweet of him. However, their comments are becoming incredibly repetitive and annoying to hear as it feels as though they’re blaming me.
One of the coworkers (A, 36 F) is a mom and went through a difficult pregnancy while working, while another coworker (B, 35 F) is happily child-free.
Both have been making comments daily about how I should stand up to my husband and take control of doing things myself.
A keeps recounting her own pregnancy and how her husband never did these things for her, whilst B thinks I am going against feminism. She said that she brought this situation up to her husband and his response was ‘If you’re expecting me to treat you like that, don’t get pregnant.’ Which is pretty appalling, in my opinion.
B has even called me while she was wasted on a weekend to inform me that I am going against the core values of feminism, which rubbed me the wrong way because it makes no sense.
Yesterday, A and B were at it again with their comments, and I finally snapped back saying ‘Sorry it bothers you guys that much that my husband loves me.’ They both didn’t take it well as they became quiet, and have been very distant since.
I did apologize for snapping, but nothing’s changed. I do feel bad. AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Calling Out My Wife About Her Speeding Fine?
“I am a horrible passenger since I had a car accident 8 years ago.
Ever since then, I hate being a passenger.
My wife and I both drive cars that I lease through my work. I have recently been having issues with kidney stones and have been in and out of the hospital, so she has been driving. Numerous times I have caught her speeding, sometimes up to 20km/h over the limit when coming downhill, and I call her on it, telling her the speed limit and asking her to slow down.
It annoys her to no end and recently she said to me ‘I have been driving longer than you so I don’t need you to tell me how to drive!’
I got an email from work today saying that my car was registered for speeding 2 weeks ago. I was in hospital on this day, so it wasn’t me.
The email asked me to register who was driving so they can accept the fine instead of the company.
Here is where I think I may be the jerk. I could have just responded to the email and put my name, or I could have just responded with her name, and a letter would come from the relevant government department with the fine and the details.
Instead, I asked her if she was driving in the area on that day, and when she said yes and asked why, I told her that she got a speeding fine that day.
It has been a very tough time in our lives recently – my health issues came right on the back of her mum passing away at the end of March.
Should I have just shut up and followed the process or taken the blame or did I do the right thing calling her out? She doesn’t speed on purpose, it is a distraction thing and she has every right to be distracted lately. She is now very angry with herself and I feel terrible about it but I also feel a little vindicated because I have asked her numerous times to not speed.”
18. AITJ For Being Upset At My Significant Other Over A $13 Drink?
“My (23 f) significant other (24 m) and I haven’t been spending that much time together/going out lately, due to our schedules, he has a full-time job while I have a job and also am in school right now. No big deal, just life. Last night, on a whim, he told me he wanted to take me to a restaurant he heard about after I got off of work.
I was super excited since we haven’t done anything in so long so I rushed home and got ready and he picked me up. Also, note, he makes a pretty nice salary and still lives with his parents rent-free and is debt free. He also buys whatever he wants when he wants, goes on multiple trips a year, is not overly irresponsible with his finances, and saves a lot but he definitely knows how to splurge and enjoy life.
He has worked hard and deserves this I’m not trying to undermine his success. I, on the other hand, am still in college, have debt, work and I have more bills than he does. Just wanted to throw that out there for this next part.
We looked at the menu and we ordered. We also ordered a drink to share that was so good, I wanted another one.
I asked if we could order another drink and he rolled his eyes at me, scoffed, and snapped at me, saying that $13 was way too expensive for a drink and didn’t want to have to pay $60 total for our bill. Mind you, we actually split a meal because it was big enough to share for 2 according to the waiter, that was only $17.
Our drink which was also big enough to share for 2, was well as you know, $13. We ordered an appetizer that was $15. We ordered water along with it. I can’t describe it properly but he looked and scoffed at me like I was just scum. As if I was asking for too much and not worth a $13 drink.
I sat there with tears in my eyes and asked the waiter to bring another drink. I zelled him the $13 for it right then and there. I told him that he was the one who invited me out, he was the one who chose the restaurant and he can very well more than afford it.
I told him that he made me feel like trash as if I was not worth the $13. But he will gladly drop $100s/thousands of dollars on trips, (in fact he’s going on one next week with his friends) going to the casino, ps4 games, etc. He said that I’m being ridiculous and that $13 is too much for a drink and that’s that.
I said that wasn’t the point.
We ended up fighting about it in the car because I said it was as if I’m not worth the $13. But you will drop thousands on everything else. And on top of that, you literally are the one who asked me out and chose the restaurant!
The prices were not even that bad in my opinion! I did not ask him out, I did not choose the restaurant! I’m so frustrated, and I just want to know if I’m being too much or if I’m justified for being upset.”
17. AITJ For Taking My Crying Son From My Father-In-Law?
“I (26 f) and my husband (32 m) have a 10-month-old son. My husband’s parents (in-laws) live about an hour away from us and have seen my son a total of 3 times since he’s been born. While this upsets my husband, I reminded him that it’s a lot easier for them to get in a car to drive to us than it is for us to uproot our son for the day, pack all of the baby’s stuff in the car and change his routine for the day.
Also, his parents live in a one-bedroom so there’s no way for us to stay with them.
My in-laws decided that they wanted to come to visit out of the blue and arrived while my son was napping. I was in the shower and heard my son crying so I jumped out quickly and threw on some clothes to go to him.
My husband explained that my in-laws decided to stop by for a visit and since our son was sleeping they wanted to go in and wake him up so they see him.
With my son still crying and obviously upset I grabbed my son out of my FIL’s arms and took him immediately back into his nursery to nurse and rock him back to sleep so as to not mess up his schedule for the day.
While nursing I realized how scary it must’ve been for my son to wake up to a stranger in his room grabbing him out of his crib.
After the in-laws left my husband explained to me how I was very rude to his parents and need to reach out to apologize.
I explained to my husband how it probably felt for our son to wake up to a stranger grabbing him and he agreed saying that he should’ve been the one to wake him up or at least come and got me to discuss but still thinks I should apologize.
What is that saying again? Never wake a sleeping baby?
AITJ?
Edit: my husband was not in on them stopping by he was just as surprised as I was. I simply took my crying son and said ‘Oh it’s lunchtime’ and nursed him back to sleep.
We have also reached out and invited my husband’s parents over for every birthday/holiday/family event and countless other just-because invitations, all of which they have had excuses for (the main one being they just don’t want to drive).”
16. AITJ For Telling A Coworker That Her Kids Do Not Have To Love Her Just Because She's Their Mom?
“I (23 M) work with a number of moms/grandmas.
In my team of 13, 7 (soon to be 8) are moms and 3 of them are grandmas. I have been ‘adopted’ by 2 of them because I have an awful family. I’m very open about my family situation and sometimes tell stories about my parents because they’re so absurd they’re hilarious (some are). My mom is a narcissist and favors my brother so I’m not treated great.
That leads to recent events. The other day Heather (late 40s F), myself and a couple of coworkers were talking and laughing. I told a story about when my mom forgot me at school for a couple of hours (it’s funnier in person I swear). Heather didn’t like it as much as everyone else.
She told me I was being too hard on my mom. I told Heather that I’m going easy on her because I haven’t gone no contact yet despite everything I have been through. She just kinda huffed and walked off.
Later that day, Heather approached me and said that I am hurting her heart because despite everything I have been through she’s still my mom, the one who gave me life, and the one person who will always love me unconditionally (I had to try not to roll my eyes).
It was honestly offensive. I did snap a little bit. I turned to her and said ‘Yeah, but just because someone is a mom doesn’t mean you’re entitled to undying love from your child. My mom won’t get it from me because of everything she put me and continues to put me through.’ Due to years of financial mistreatment, I can’t move out as of yet, but I’m close.
After I said that Heather walked off and avoided me for the rest of the day. I was fine with it because my feathers were still a little ruffled. Once she left her ex-stepdaughter came and explained that Heather is a lot like my mom and has done basically what I said happened in the story.
Heather seems nice enough to me and our coworkers, but according to stepdad, she’s a bad mom to her 15-year-old son in a similar way to mine.
I didn’t know any of this until afterward, and now I feel awful having said that to her since it probably makes her feel terrible.
Her stepdad says it’s not my fault and I wasn’t talking about her, but if the shoe fits. Heather is also going through a divorce from stepdad’s parent so she’s been extra emotional. They’re divorcing because of some of the traits she shares with my mom that are… not exactly great.
So AITJ for telling my coworker moms aren’t entitled to their children’s love?”
15. AITJ For Buying My Father-In-Law's House?
“My wife and I have been struggling for a few years. Her dad was in a lot of medical debt and needed to sell his only asset, his house, in order to afford to keep paying for care.
My wife told me that leaving the home he shared with his late wife would be detrimental to his health, so I agreed we would take on a second mortgage and buy the house so he wouldn’t have to move. He got a lump sum to pay off all debts and live off of, and we got the deed to a house we couldn’t live in or rent out.
Over the past few years, things have only gotten harder. My wife and I both had to take on second jobs. My oldest moved in with FiL because he could no longer drive himself to doctor’s appointments, clean up after himself, etc… So she took care of him, and he paid for her online classes.
We kept our financial struggles a secret from FiL because my wife said he needed peace of mind to battle his illness. I reluctantly agreed. My daughter called one night, crying, saying FiL was having trouble breathing and she’d called an ambulance. We drove over immediately. FiL didn’t make it.
I might be a piece of work, because, honestly? I was relieved. My wife and daughter were super close with FiL, and we got along, but he was suffering, and my most loved people were suffering watching him suffer. I did funeral arrangements because my wife was too distraught.
Then, and I’m shaking with rage typing this, my BiL showed up.
I might be a piece of work, but he DEFINITELY is. He’s an aspiring food critic that spends all of his money eating at expensive restaurants and then writing blog posts about the restaurants that no one wants to read because they’re long and boring. He also barely ever called his dad and didn’t take his illness seriously.
So he shows up for FiL’s funeral and immediately after the burial starts asking about when the house is going to be sold. My wife told him we bought it so FiL could pay debts and he gets red in the face and starts making accusations of impropriety. He also insinuated we should have paid FiL’s bills out of pocket with money we didn’t have.
I was done and escorted my wife away because she was bawling.
Since then we have both received several messages from BiL demanding documentation of the sale (provided), the house appraisal (provided), my FiL’s debts (don’t have that), my FiL’s bank statements (don’t have that either), OUR bank statements (no) and a bunch of other stuff.
Initially, I complied with his more reasonable requests, but eventually, I stopped responding.
His messages got really abusive, so I got mad and sent screenshots to his boss at his actual job. I asked him if his company condoned this. BiL sent me a final text saying he was going to sue me for theft, elder mistreatment, and now libel.
I blocked him.
My wife is mad that I contacted his work. She said I threw gasoline onto the fire. Did I overreact?”
14. AITJ For Letting My Niece Get "Boys" Clothes?
“My brother and SIL are struggling a little for finances currently as he recently got fired and my 10-year-old niece hit a growth spurt at the worst possible moment so she is in need of a bunch of new clothes.
I offered to take her shopping in a fun auntie and niece bonding time to get her some new clothes. They agreed to this and I took her out.
When we got to the shops she did not like any of the pink, frilly, glittery, or ‘Girly’ things, and when she spotted a Minecraft t-shirt in the boy’s section she rushed toward it and asked me if she could get it.
I told her sure and began to look for more clothes with her. In the end, she picked about 90% of her clothes from the boy’s section a variety of jeans, t-shirts, and a hoodie. I also got her a pair of trainers (sneakers for you Americans), a nice dress blouse and some black dress trousers with dress shoes.
Afterward, we got some Mcdonald’s and I took her home. All in all, a good day.
When we got her home we began to show my brother and SIL the clothes she picked out and my SIL got upset with me asking why I’d bought her only ‘boys’ clothes, I told her it was what she liked and picked out, she said I should have gotten her at least some ‘nice’ clothes and pretty things, at least a dress for nicer times and I showed her the blouse and trousers I got for that reason but that didn’t soothe her at all.
My brother suggested we take some of it back and get some prettier things and my niece was clearly upset by this.
I asked them what the big deal was. She’s a kid what does it matter if he’s running about in jeans and t-shirts? But my SIL insists that my niece should have pretty clothes.
My brother has told me in private my SIL is just upset as they can’t afford to get her the stuff she’d normally pick out and she’s lashing out and to not take it to heart but I told him that his daughter picked out the clothes and she’s old enough to know if she doesn’t like pretty ‘Girly’ things.
Am I the jerk in this scenario? I tried to do a good deed but it ended up blowing up in my face.”
13. AITJ For Telling The School About My Significant Other's Ex's Smoking?
“I am a junior in high school and my significant other (Craig), his friends, and his ex (Ronnie) are all seniors.
Craig and Ronnie dated for about 8 months a year ago. He told me that they decided that they were better off friends and then 4 months ago we started going out. I’m going to be honest, I really don’t like Ronnie but she claims that she likes me and ‘that Craig and I work really well together.’ She’s loud and annoying and I personally don’t like how close she and Craig are, given their history.
I have told Craig that their relationship makes me uncomfortable and he said that he wouldn’t stop being friends with her and encouraged me to maybe try to see past their history as they are no longer together and he doesn’t see Ronnie like that anymore.
So a couple of days ago, Ronnie told our friend group this ‘hilarious’ story about how she hung out with a couple of stoners on Monday and they smoked at the park behind the school.
Everyone thought it was really funny but I didn’t. I think that it’s really irresponsible and illegal. They shouldn’t have done it and lots of other kids who have done that got in serious trouble, why shouldn’t she?
So a couple of days ago I reported Ronnie and she was called to the front office and one of Craig’s friends told me that apparently she got in a lot of trouble.
I was told she was suspended for a week and a letter was sent to the University she was going to go to.
Craig and his friends were really angry for Ronnie and said that she didn’t deserve to now have her future compromised. My friend who knew I reported her said that I should tell Craig because what I did was really bad and I said that it didn’t really matter.
Yesterday afternoon my friend told Craig and he was really mad at me and said that he never wanted to talk to me again and this was a petty jerky thing to do. He’s now not speaking to me and I don’t know what to do.
(I want to be clear, they didn’t just suspend her on my word.
They searched her locker and her bag and found ‘leaves’ in her bag)”
12. AITJ For Telling My Partner Her Hometown Sucks?
“I’m (30 M) French, but I also have American citizenship because I was born in the US, I only lived in the US the first year of my life. I spent my childhood living in Paris until I went to college and I moved to London, after that, I moved to Madrid because I got a job there.
I’m really used to life in European cities and I love it.
I met my partner (29 F) while she was on vacation in Madrid and after one year of a long-distance relationship I got a job that allowed me to work from home so I decided to move to my partner’s city.
I don’t want to say the name of the city because I don’t want to offend anyone but it sucks. You have to use a car to go everywhere, the downtown is not a real ‘downtown’, there is no life in the street, the snow sucks… Everything is just depressing and there is nothing to do here.
I told my partner that this city sucks and she was really offended. I also told her that I don’t want to live here anymore and that I would be willing to stay in the US until we got married because of her visa but in another city, something like New York or Miami.
After we got married, I want to move back to Paris or Madrid.
She says that I’m being selfish because she has her job (nothing special, she could find that job in another city) and her whole life here and that I can work from home. I’ve told her that this is not negotiable for me and she keeps telling me that I’m selfish.
I gave up my life to move here and I’m the one who is selfish…
AITJ for telling my partner that her hometown sucks and that I don’t want to live here anymore?
Info: The city is Cincinnati.”
11. AITJ For Making My Own Plans When My Significant Other Is Out With His Friends?
“My (22 F) significant other (23 M) told me that he doesn’t like when I make plans with my friends when he goes out with his friends.
I’m the kind of girl that does not like to be alone for long periods of time.
I rather hang out with my SO or friends even if we are doing nothing than stay alone. I and my SO live in the same building but in different apartments (he stays in my room every night). We are both in our last semester in college. I study full-time, work part-time and I’m doing my practice as a drama teacher, so I don’t have free time.
My SO is an athlete and he works out every day for 4 hours but his classes this semester are fairly easy, so he has more free time. The only time we spend together is at night when we have finished everything (11:30 pm)
Neither of us really hangs out with our friends because we are pretty busy but some nights if my SO makes plans with his friends I will try to make plans with my girls too so I can catch up with them since I never see them and I have almost no human interaction with friends while my SO works out with his teammates who are also kind of his friends.
Two days ago he told me that he didn’t like me making plans when he made plans with his friends because he feels like I am trying to compete with him and I can’t stay alone in my room until he gets back. He also said I couldn’t sit still and that I always come up with something to do when he goes out and that it makes me look jealous.
I told him I wasn’t competing and just thought that because I would be alone and wouldn’t be able to spend quality time with him that day I could take advantage of the situation and also have some girl time.
AITJ for making plans when my SO goes out with his friends?
EDIT: A little more context
My SO is super laid back, he doesn’t drink or smoke and he doesn’t like to go out that much. I’m the one pushing him to meet with his guys and they just talk for a while or something. I’m more of the wild one, before we were together I liked clubbing with my girls but I’m not really into that anymore (unless it’s with him which doesn’t happen very often.)
He’s also not attached to me. He’s an introvert and he really likes his alone time, which is why I was surprised when he told me that me making plans after him bothered him. I’m the one who sometimes feels like he doesn’t want to spend time with me (that’s my issue tho.)
The thing is, aside from this, he’s such a good-hearted guy. We’ve been together for three years and he has NEVER made me doubt about having another woman or controlling me. I’m going to show him all of this today and have a talk with him to see what is really going on and why this make him feel like that.”
10. AITJ For Replacing My Maid Of Honor?
“I and my fiancé had gotten engaged in 2020 and are set to get married this year. I had selected my best friend since high school to be my maid of honor hoping she would be the one to stand by my side and help me prepare for what is to be my big day, standing right beside me.
I began to regret my decision when she started shooting down the ideas I had for my own wedding and basically wanted her ideas to be used. She didn’t want to help me find vendors and her reasoning was she wanted to hand make everything (which was not what I had wanted and kindly said that to her) and she wanted to have her mother make all the floral arrangements when I wanted it done professionally.
She had tried to argue with me over dresses to wear after we all had decided on a bridesmaid dress style. Even went out and bought a $9. Dress to tell me that was what she was going to wear instead of the gowns we had agreed upon.
Then once everyone else had their dresses ordered I told her that we need to have them ordered by the deadline I had given beforehand.
She told me that we still have plenty of time and that the dress ordering can wait a few more months. I had gotten upset as I was so frustrated and told her that perhaps it is best for someone else to be my maid of honor as I felt she hadn’t been listening to what I wanted for my wedding.
She didn’t get along with one particular person at the bridal party and had often criticized me for picking them. She wouldn’t co-ordinate with the bridesmaids about anything so it was always me alone planning as she would only help if it was her ideas being used.
I feel bad because she has been a dear friend since high school but at the same time for my own sanity, I felt it was necessary.
I suppose I’m just wondering if this was the right call.”
9. AITJ For Declining My Daughter's Request For Me To Walk Her Down The Aisle?
“I (M 49) have 2 daughters, Marie (27) and Julie (23). For context, Julie is not my biological daughter since I married my current wife when she was only 2 and since her dad was absent I adopted her as my own but I love both my daughters the same.
This being said, I am closer to Julie since she has and still lives with us and we do almost everything together. Instead, Marie is closer to her mom, mainly cause her mom got full custody of her and has never lived with me.
Now, to the main issue: Julie got engaged about a year ago and immediately asked me to walk her down the aisle, I of course agreed and have actively helped her with the planning of the wedding which is scheduled for October 2022.
A couple of weeks ago Marie asked me to go grab some coffee with her and let me know she’s currently pregnant and will soon get married. To be honest this got me off guard since I didn’t even know she had a partner. She apparently will have quite a fast wedding since she doesn’t want to show too much, meaning her wedding will be in 3 months.
She says it’ll be a small ceremony and asked me to walk her down the aisle. I felt weird about it since I don’t even know her fiancé and it’s all so sudden so I asked her to let me think about it.
It seemed like this answer surprised her but she understood.
I then went home and let my wife and daughter know and Julie asked me to please decline since she wanted to be the first to be walked down the aisle and since she asked first, thinks that I have a stronger commitment to her. I agreed since this is more of an Us thing rather than an after-thought like Marie’s wedding.
I then sent a message to Marie letting her know of my decision with a brief explanation and even offered options like her mom or stepdad to walk with her. I also reassured her that I’d still be with her there and support her with anything.
She almost immediately called me crying and telling me how much of a horrible father I am and how I apparently have always played favorite, which hurt me since it’s simply not true, I love them both.
I tried to explain my reasoning but she said it doesn’t matter and doesn’t care about my excuses. She ended up hanging up and my ex has been sending me tons of texts berating me and calling me names.
Now word has spread to some family members and they are calling me a deadbeat and trash, but my wife and daughter agree that my decision is the only fair one and shouldn’t be pressured into doing something I don’t want.
I’m starting to feel guilty but I’m honestly unsure. AITJ for refusing to walk my daughter down the aisle?”
8. AITJ For Not Being Happy About My Husband Pushing Christianity On Me?
“I (30 f) am Jewish, mainly culturally, though I was raised religious.
My husband (33 m) was raised Christian though he no longer really practices (just Christmas). His parents are still very devout and his mom has several times mentioned Messianic Jews to me (Jews for Jesus). Tonight she sent him a Christian tv series about Jesus she wanted us to watch. He decided to put it on to appease her.
Well, I wasn’t complaining but also wasn’t paying close attention (playing Candy Crush). My husband got annoyed and said to just put on something else. I said, ‘No, no it’s fine. Just tired of being converted to Jesus.’ So he said, ‘I’m the one always getting religion pushed on me with Passover Seders and family dinners.
I never push anything on you.’
This is where I got upset. I have never asked him to come to the temple with me, just to join me for holidays with my family in which there are usually blessings and candle lighting involved. So I told him, ‘The whole country (U.S.) pushes Christianity on me!
It can be lonely being a minority.’ He then proceeded to tease me for referring to myself this way (I’m a white cis woman). I tried to explain that as a Jew I meant I’m literally a minority of the population not that I’m terribly oppressed. He basically just kept saying he didn’t get it and I should just move to New York.
So as an example, I reminded him of some of the bigger holidays over the last two years of the global crisis when I couldn’t see family and was the only Jewish person in my home. I said those were times I wished I had a Jewish partner to help me celebrate.
He said that was a horrible thing to say and left the room. I feel bad I hurt him. I don’t need him to be Jewish, I just wish he could be a bit more culturally sensitive I guess. AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Snapping At My Neighbor's Kids?
“I (30 f) live in an apartment building on the first floor. I have about an 8×10 grassy area outside of my back door. Most apartments decorate this space, in my housing complex, with grills, furniture, and plants. I have two outdoor chairs set up, but that is all.
My next-door neighbors have about a 16×10 grassy area outside of their back door due to the location on the side of the building, as well as access to an unused 24×10 grassy area on the side of the building.
My neighbor’s kids have chosen my grassy area as the place to throw around the football (my guess is to avoid their parents’ really nice outdoor chairs, fire pit, grill, and flowers).
Kind of annoying, especially when I want to just sit out there and relax. They also occasionally choose to sit on my furniture instead of their own. Which is the most annoying part of it.
About 6 months ago they started leaving trash laying all around in this area. I’m guessing someone saw them because a few months ago up came a notice to tell your kids to pick up their trash.
Now it’s only about 3 plastic water bottles a week I have to pick up.
This weekend (Friday-Monday) my fiancé (40 m) was home sick with something flu-like. On Friday about 11 am while he was sleeping the neighbor’s kids (11 m & 15 m) started pounding on my door, look out, they’re hiding and giggling.
I had been on a phone call so I just quietly remarked that there were people sleeping and on the phone and to please leave us alone.
Now here’s where I may be the jerk. I went out to dinner last night on my only day off with friends. They brought me back to my house and were coming in to pet the cats, then leave so as not to disturb my sick fiancé sleeping.
I approached the door and I’m met by 11m’s friends blocking the door and saying ‘What’s the password’. I tried to push past and he shoved his arm in front of me and yelled what’s the password while 11m laughed in the background. I pushed past and said ‘I pay rent here and you don’t’, then my friends tried to enter and this kid stood on his tiptoes so he was as tall as them and yelled only a couple inches from the one’s face ‘What’s the password’.
I was mad. I yelled ‘leave her alone’ and they caved and let my friends in.
I know they were kids and just playing so am I the jerk for reacting the way I did? I’m so worried their father who is a very large very tall very menacing man is going to come and say something to me about it.”
6. AITJ For Not Pushing My Son To Hug His Father?
“I (f 35) have been raising my son (m 11) on my own for the last 7 years. Just the two of us. My ex (m 45) and I divorced when my son was a toddler and by the time my son was 3/4 or so I had full custody and a laundry list of restraining orders etc. So, his dad completely walked away.
I will admit, it wasn’t 100% willingly. He wanted custody (he said boys should be raised by their dads, and girls by their moms) and when I wouldn’t give him my child he lost his temper and it resulted in a court giving me sole custody. For several years after he posted on social media daily about how much he missed our kid, how awful it was I kept them apart, how he couldn’t wait until our son was old enough to get into touch with him etc. BUT, he didn’t do any of the necessary court-ordered steps for reunification.
So, my son and I moved on with our lives. And we have been living our best life.
Well, some years ago all of the drama stopped and my son’s dad just became a distant memory for both of us. Zero contact in about 7 years, as I said. But I always thought that he (ex) probably still wished things might be different.
(He has never paid the court-ordered child support.)
Anyway, fast forward to a few weeks ago, my son and I went on vacation together. While there we went out to a restaurant and seated in our section was a family. Ex, a woman, a toddler, and an older teen. Ex spotted us, and he and his wife approached. I had my son get up and shake his hand, and introductions were made.
My ex tried to hug my son. My son said, ‘No thank you, sir.’ My ex then looked at me and said ‘I know you spent his whole life poisoning him against me but it would mean a lot if I could hug him, can I please?’ My son gave me a ‘please help’ look.
I said, ‘He doesn’t have to let you hug him if he doesn’t want to.’
We finished pleasantries, my ex paid our check without telling me he was going to, and my son and I left and returned home the next day (several days early).
Tonight, I received a private message from his wife telling me how very hurt he was that he couldn’t even hug his own son.
And that she couldn’t imagine ever keeping their daughter (the toddler) from him because he is a wonderful father to her and to his stepdaughter.
So AITJ? Should I have pushed my son a bit harder to hug his dad?”
5. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Partner's Sensitivity?
“My (f 21) partner (m 25) has misophonia which means the hatred of certain sounds. He describes a sudden rage when he hears certain sounds like breathing, chewing, snoring, coughing, walking sounds, etc. It’s been okay for a while. We’ve coped by turning up the tv when we eat, or he moves away from me if he hears me breathe.
But recently I’ve grown resentful of it.
It’s almost like his energy shifts and I can tell he’s mad. He gets this angry face on and I’m a very anxious person so I try my best to breathe quieter. So it feels like I can literally not breathe in my own home.
I have meds that cause flu-like symptoms so I’m always stuffed up. I feel terrible because of this because I know better but more and more, the more comments he makes about the littlest of sounds makes me want to be as far as possible from him. I love him to death but I’m just so frustrated with this situation.
I just up and left before bed because he got mad at my vape sound. I was just trying to chill out but no of course he had a bone to pick. See? Here we go again. I’m making this about myself. So I left and I said that I need a good rest tonight.
When I breathe a certain way he moves me around so I breathe quieter and it’s with my REM. And he said ‘Am I interrupting your sleep?’ and I just said ‘Yes. I’m gonna go’ and he said ‘You are full of crap’. I closed the door and went upstairs to the guest bedroom and wrote this.
Am I overreacting? I think I’m being insensitive and I feel bad for leaving him all alone down there. I think I’m a bad partner.
Edit: He doesn’t think therapy is helpful. He has true O (thought-based OCD) and I suggested he look for therapy to help but he refused and said he’s been and it won’t help.
Waste of time and money. He used to be on SSRI that I learned that they help a lot with misophonia. He also recently quit them (without medical supervision, against my advice too) because he believes they make his OCD worse and his overall life worse.”
4. AITJ For Not Helping A Family Jumpstart Their Car And Leaving Them In A Parking Lot?
“A few days ago, my sister and BIL asked me if I (29 m) was willing to babysit my 3-year-old niece for the day. They wanted to go hiking with some friends and just wanted a child-free day. I said sure, no problem, I loved hanging out with my niece. We hung out, watched movies, then decided to grab a bite to eat at this Italian family restaurant nearby.
As we get seated, there is another family of 5 nearby. Two of the kids are wearing these full zipped-up hoodies that zip up past the face, one has an evil clown-looking thing and the other has a skeleton. This causes my niece to start crying. At first, I didn’t realize what was going on, but she pointed to them and they were making gestures and scaring her on purpose.
I asked the parents if they could ask their kids to stop scaring my niece and to take off their hoodies, but they said no, blah blah blah, the kids are just having fun, kids are kids, etc. I then asked if they just could unzip the face part because it looks like my niece thinks they are monsters, and they still said no, and gave the same excuses.
As I left they laughed.
I asked the server if she could reseat us, and she did, to a spot where my niece couldn’t see the other family. We finish our dinner without any more incidents, we pay and leave.
In the parking lot, the same family is there in a car near mine.
The kids are outside the car (full hoods up) playing around. My niece sees them and buries her head into my shoulder. The dad calls out and asks if I can give him a jump. I ignored him and put my niece in her car seat. He then asks again if I can give him a jump, thinking I didn’t hear him the first time.
I said no, my niece is fussy, she wants to go home. So I drive away and leave them. (For the record, it was around 6 PM, in a well-lit parking lot in the middle of our small town’s downtown area, with a lot of other shops and people and it was around 50 degrees at the time).
This wasn’t a sketchy part of town, there were a lot of people around, so they weren’t in any danger or anything. I just didn’t want to help a jerk who just an hour ago couldn’t do the bare minimum to help me and my niece out.
I told this to a few of my friends and half of them thought I was a jerk, you never leave a motorist stranded (as stranded as a parking lot in the middle of the suburbs could be I guess). The other half thought it was karma, plus they said my niece noticed the kids with the hoodies and just wanted to leave.
So, AITJ here?”
3. AITJ For Saying My Husband's Parents Are Trashy?
“My husband and I come from the most polar opposite families imaginable, so there have been a lot of growing pains.
My husband’s parents’ PDA is really gross and over the top to the point I don’t even like being around them.
We were at my parents’ cabin the other day and I was laying on my back on the couch. He came over and was sitting on the edge of the couch (my parents were on the other couch) We were joking around, and he lifted my shirt up (just exposed my stomach, not my bra) and kind of bit/sucked on my stomach.
I was mortified and immediately yelled at him that what was he doing. He thought I was kidding and did it again, so I jumped up and yelled ‘WHAT?!’.
He seemed shocked. I told him that was totally inappropriate and honestly he is pretty dumb if I have to tell him.
He told me to chill and I was way overreacting and said that I could have said it nicely, because how was he supposed to know? I said it is common sense and he should just know. He said I’m being mean because in his family and friend group that would be a totally normal thing.
Now I might be the jerk, but I was annoyed and said I know that is something his dad would totally do to his mom, but they are trash. He became furious and began yelling about how his parents have so much more money than mine, which is true but money does not equal class.
I told him to calm down and apologize to my parents, which he did, but he said I needed to apologize for what I said about him. I didn’t and he stormed off.
My parents said I was fine, and my in-laws are objectively trashy, but he is saying I was condescending and cruel.”
2. AITJ For Not Inviting Any Of My Stepbrothers To My Wedding?
“I (29 m) am marrying my best friend (27f ) in a couple of months and we just sent out invites. My parents are divorced after my mom had an affair with my now stepdad.
My dad never remarried and my mom and step-dad have been together almost 20 years. I’m the third of 5 kids (2 boys, and 3 girls) and my stepdad had 3 kids (all boys) from the marriage he was in at the time of the affair.
I, my brother, and our sisters lived with my dad and my mom moved in with my stepdad after everything went down.
From the beginning, my mom has been trying to act like we’re one big happy family. My stepbrothers act the same way, but my siblings and I always found that a little weird because both our mom and their dad were married to other people so it’s not like ours was the only family messed up by the affair.
My brother, sisters and I all act cordial and polite, but we pretty much keep our distance whenever possible. We got forced into joint birthday parties and graduation parties and whatnot, which we all generally tolerated to make things easier. All three of my stepbrothers are married and my siblings and I were invited to their weddings.
We went to the ones that were nearby, but not the ones that required travel. I should also note that their weddings were drama-central (mostly caused by them being super disrespectful and disruptive or getting seriously wasted).
When my oldest sister got married she didn’t invite them and no one gave her a hard time because she’s the one who found out about the affair and she was pretty obviously scarred by it.
She did invite our stepdad, but no one else from the family. My next oldest sister had a destination wedding and got badgered into inviting our stepbrothers (and two of their families since they were already married). She directly asked if they were going to travel before inviting them and was told they wouldn’t – she even told our mom she wouldn’t have seating for them so they’d better decline since it was just to appease the family.
Now it’s my turn and I’m getting married right in our hometown. I didn’t invite any of my stepbrothers and my mom is super upset. I’ve been getting texts from her and some extended family members for days and she accused my fiancé of driving a wedge in our family (which is nuts because my fiancé had no problem inviting them if I wanted to).
She’s saying because my sister invited them now I have to or it will look bad for our family. I don’t feel close to them, don’t want the drama they bring and honestly really can’t afford to have them there because they are all married with kids now so the 3 of them are actually 14 additional people to pay for.
I didn’t expect it to be a big deal because my older sister didn’t have them at her wedding, but now I’m questioning whether I should’ve just invited them to keep the peace with my mom.”
1. AITJ For Calling My Stepson A Loser?
“I’ve (50 m) been married to my wife since the fall of 2019. I have 2 boys with my ex-wife, both successful, in their late 20s, and married. One has a kid on the way.
My wife has one son (Kevin). He’s 20 and lives with us. He and my wife moved in with me after we got married. I have the room because I was alone in the house.
I have never really seen eye to eye with Kevin. I love sports. My boys excelled at baseball and football in high school and college.
Kevin is the type that can’t be bothered with sports. Which is okay, but it means one less thing we can bond over. He’s never really seen me as a father figure and I never really saw him as a son. But I provide for him since he lives with us.
Kevin flunked out of college after his first year (he doesn’t care, his friend is starting a company after college and promised Kevin a job), and has now been fired/quit from his 4th job since. This conversation happened after he was fired again, but I will provide a backstory first.
First job: Target. He quit because his boss yelled at him. I asked why. Because Kevin was late. Kevin sarcastically said Target didn’t lose any money for him being 20 minutes late.
Second job: Starbucks. They wanted him to work some morning shifts, but Kevin refuses to wake up before 11 AM.
So he quit.
Third job; a local grocery store. He was fired under the suspicion he was stoned. I believe it. The kid smokes like a chimney. It’s not my place to tell him to stop though.
Fourth job: a friend of mine hired him on his landscaping crew. He was fired because he was no call/no show.
I was embarrassed because I knew the guy. Apparently, Kevin had a problem with being on his phone, when the boss (my friend) corrected him, Kevin said he has no right to tell him what to do with his property.
After this, I refused to acknowledge Kevin much. Kevin was talking with his mom, (his mom is the most amazing woman I’d ever met) but goes soft on Kevin, in my opinion.
She was doing her usual ‘it’s ok sweetie’ routine and my b***d boiled. I yelled ‘NO it’s NOT okay. He’s a LOSER’. I’ll admit I raised my voice.
Then I said ‘Kevin you’re lucky I love your mother with all my heart because if it was up to me, you’d be out of this house’.
My wife snapped at me, and I responded that Kevin is 20 and needs to start finding a direction in life. He flunked out of college and can’t hold a job that 15-year-olds are able to do. I suggested he go spend 2 weeks living with my son, and he would whoop his butt into shape.
Kevin cried and told me that the worst day of his life was when his mom married me. My wife got very upset with me, which is fair. I flew off the handle. But, in my opinion, he has been babied and that’s why he acts this way. I think he needed someone to give it to him straight.
He even started applying for jobs again after this, so I think my yelling worked. Wife is still angry and wants me to apologize.”
