Whatdidyousay
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NTJ. Your daughter thinks you have no authority over her and she can cry to daddy to get out of answering you. Nip this in the bud.
You sound insufferable. If I was your parents and brother, I'd make plans that did NOT include you.
Change the locks, get an alarm system and cameras.
Why does having IBS stop her from doing the carpets? She sounds like she's embellishing to get out of being an adult. You are NTA.
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