People Want Us To Make Judgements Based On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
35. AITJ For Wanting My Grieving Husband To Still Help With Housework?
“I (56 F) am married to my husband (59 M). I have multiple chronic illnesses. Our labor division had been: Me – 36 hours per week, 60% housework, 75% cooking. My husband – 60 hours per week, 40% housework, 25% cooking, all shopping.
4 months ago MIL was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I took over everything and was packing up MIL’s house while working.
My MIL is wonderful, and my husband was always good to me, so I never complained during this hard time.
A month ago, MIL passed, and my husband sank into grief. He hasn’t worked, hasn’t showered, and hasn’t eaten unless forced. I planned the funeral, stored things, and sold the house so my husband didn’t have to.
My husband has PTO, so I’m not worried about him losing his job, but I have tried to encourage him to get out of bed and come sit with me and do things.
While MIL was still with us, I began suffering multiple acute flares, leaving me exhausted, dizzy, and vomiting multiple times a day. My doctor gave me meds and told me to rest, but I was still vomiting and had so much to do.
Monday, everything gave out. I passed out at work. I was concussed, my head split open, I was covered in b***d, I vomited all over myself and aspirated, and on top of that, I lost continence.
The doctor said that I was so overworked, my body hit the reset button and I needed to take off at least two weeks to recover. I was mortified and upset, and I just wanted my husband to bring me a clean change of clothes and hold my hand.
He said he was too tired to drive, so my best friend Carol went over to pick him and the clothes up. I was surprised when she came back alone and said he wouldn’t get out of bed. I said, ‘At least he picked out my clothes,’ and she said he didn’t, but she did.
I was in for several days for fluids, medication, and observation. Carol came and saw me every day, but my husband didn’t visit once and was tired when I called. Carol drove me home, she helped me in and told my husband very sternly to take care of me.
He waited until she left and then laid into me for ‘leaving him’ for days and how he starved and how the bathroom was filthy and I needed to clean it.
I lost it.
I started sobbing, which shocked him because I’m not a crier, but I screamed at him that I’m sorry his mom is dead, but he could have lost me, too, and he didn’t act like he cared. I told him I was done because I worked myself to near death for him, he needed to get his crap together and help around the house again, not the other way around.
He sat there in shocked silence, and I told him if he had nothing to say, I was going to call Carol.
I’m currently at Carol’s house and will be hiring a home care nurse for the next week so Carol doesn’t have to look after me, but I just feel like an awful human being for screaming and devaluing the loss of his mom, but I also feel so heartbroken for the way I was treated.
Edit: I don’t want to leave my husband by getting a divorce, I just need space.”
34. AITJ For Getting A Babysitter Blacklisted?
“I (34 f) live with my wife (40 f) Sue and our kids (3 f, 6 f and 11 m).
Our previous sitter chose to follow a different career path which led us to find a new one to which my friend suggested a place she used. We used it and found a woman (25 f) named Sharon.
We thought she was perfect especially since she also had experience taking care of autistic children (our son is autistic). We screened her, did a background check, etc., and she passed.
I have to explain one thing though.
Sue and I have a room off of our own that’s for us only and it has stuff in there not meant for children. The kids are not allowed in our bedroom unless we are there and we do not keep anything in there that they might need/want.
We made it extremely clear to Sharon not to let our kids in our room.
After maybe 2 days of babysitting I got a panicked call from her saying my 6-year-old locked our 3-year-old in our ‘closet’ and our son wouldn’t stop screaming.
When I came home Sharon was outside by herself, my son was in his room with the door shut still screaming, and the 6-year-old was by the ‘closest’ door crying along with my 3-year-old crying on the other side of the door.
The door’s lock was one of those button locks in the center of the door handle which was visible. It took me a minute to get my kids under control but when I finally did Sharon was looking at me with disgust. I guess while I was with my kids she decided to look into the room my child was in.
She berated me about how she was already skeptical of watching kids with two moms and this just proved her right because of what we are into and exposing our kids to.
This lasted maybe 10 mins before Sue came in and forced her to leave.
When everything finally settled down we checked our nanny cams. We were able to see Sharon snuggled up with a blanket on the couch and our kids doing whatever.
Then we saw our daughters going into our room and the 6-year-old locking the 3-year-old in. Then the 11-year-old came in and started screaming because the 6-year-old is crying and panicking. Then after some time, Sharon decided to see what was wrong.
She is now panicked and beating on the door. Once again it’s a button lock in full view. After maybe a few minutes she takes our son to his room and left him.
Then tries for the door again before going outside and calling us.
We sent that to the video to the right people and Sharon got in trouble and blacklisted. Currently, we are receiving a lot of hate because I guess she was a good Christan woman who didn’t deserve that and we were overacting.
Edit: Our room is down a hall on the left side of the house with just a linen closet adjacent to it and the kid’s rooms are on the right side of the home down another hall and the common area is in the middle.
The couch is smack in the center of the common area so everything would’ve been in full view.”
33. AITJ For Not Giving My Daughters Their College Fund?
“I (38 M) got a divorce 5 years ago. I met my new wife Sara (34 F) at the workplace and getting to know her made me realize how unhappy I was with my own married. We quickly became great friends and there was an attraction but we kept everything professional. I sat my ex-wife down at the time and told her I wanted a divorce and that I was unhappy.
That I believe I have fallen in love with someone else and I just want this over. She (36 F) did not take it well and it was a rough divorce. After the divorce was finalized I asked out Sara and she said yes.
I had two daughters with my ex, who are now 17 F (Abby) and 18 F (Grace). They did not take the divorce well at all and openly hate Sara. I have custody every two weeks and during that time they go to a therapist. My ex refuses to take them even if I am paying for them during her time with the kids.
My oldest is 18 now so I can’t force her to go but she still comes over when her sister does. Therapy has helped but not by much. I do discipline them with taking away privileges but that doesn’t seem to work either.
Especially since my ex seems to encourage them to be cruel to Sara. It was so bad at some parts that Sara would go on a road trip when I had my kids over.
Anyways I have been saving up for their college for the longest time, Each kid has about 40 thousand saved up, this is all in my savings. Sara and I have been trying for a baby for a while now and she did get pregnant.
The baby was stillborn and it broke our hearts. We turned his ashes into a necklace for Sara and a ring for me. Our jobs don’t allow jewelry since it is a safety hazard with all the machines.
(it can get caught in the machine which is very dangerous) So every day we take them off for work and put them in her jewelry box.
Well, we came home from work today and the ring and necklace were destroyed. The ring looked like it was cut in half with a bolt cutter and the necklace was smashed. Abby and Grace were smug about it and started to taunt us.
Sara having a breakdown and I told them to get out. They didn’t think I was serious so I told them again. They said whatever and that I wasn’t gonna see them soon anyways since they are going to college.
I told them they are not getting a single dime.
They left, I informed my ex that they will not get any money for college from me and she has been blowing my phone up since.
My daughters have also been blowing up my phone.
Edit – The money was not part of the divorce agreement instead the ugly divorce was with my ex trying to make it so I didn’t have custody.
The fund is also just in my name, it was just me throwing funds in a separate saving account.
I am also in therapy. My ex refused to be in the same room as me.
The girls refused to be in therapy with Sara and me. I thought it would add to the resentment if that was forced. So I deemed it better that the daughters go to their own therapist and I have had one since the divorce.
AITJ?”
Fulfill your legal requirements re the 17 yr old then cut her loose also. Go NC with tte entire bunch. Three hateful jerk can stew in their own hate. I can be petty and I would look into legal action regarding the destruction of personal items holding those ashes. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for what they did. Just remember. - karma comes around, maybe if not on this earth, but tgey will have to answer to a higher power at some point. Your money is just that. - yours. You do not "owe" either of those jerks anything
32. AITJ For Telling My Stepdad's Sister To Leave Me Alone?
“My mom and I always had some issues. She wasn’t the best mom, I think she wanted me to be more like her, and she was more focused on how much my dad hurt her than on being a mom.
She met ‘Eric’ when I was 15. He had his 14-year-old sister ‘Daisy’ living with him because his dad is a heavy drinker and he just kind of took Daisy and the parents never did anything about it.
Daisy was kind of mean and would play little pranks on me when she had friends over. Eric never took on a parent role with Daisy and acted like an older brother, not a dad, so she essentially had no rules, no discipline, and my mom didn’t care because she was so in love with Eric.
Daisy was very attention-seeking and would make rude comments to get attention, but she was also more like my mom and I think my mom liked her more than me.
One day at school I just lost my temper because she poured water on my chair and I said the reason she is such a jerk is because… and exposed some of her childhood trauma that I knew about because I overheard Eric telling my mom.
Other kids did hear this and Daisy went home crying. Eric screamed at me and called me names like evil and jealous, and my mom didn’t really do anything. My mom told me she was ashamed of me and made me stay with my dad and his 21-year-old awful partner for 6 months so Daisy could ‘recover’.
I do see what I did was wrong, but it was a result of her picking on me for a year and then doing nothing because ‘kids will be kids’ or ‘you’re too sensitive’.
Daisy and I don’t see much of each other as adults. Maybe the occasional family holiday but that’s it. My mom and I have a strained relationship, but Daisy and Eric are still close, so she sees more of my mom.
My mom also has some crazy narrative in her head that the reason we don’t get along as adults is because I’m jealous of Daisy’s marriage and my mom doesn’t listen when I tell her that is asinine.
Recently Daisy texted me that she was throwing a surprise 25th-anniversary party for my mom and Eric and wanted to know if I wanted ‘credit,’ which she clarified did I want to be considered a host because she thought I’d feel awkward if I wasn’t involved. I responded that I wanted nothing to do with this party because they shouldn’t even be married. My mom should have put her kid first and not put me in that situation, and Daisy should leave me alone after all she is the reason I didn’t have a family growing up.
Daisy just wrote back, but my husband says I overreacted and she was being nice.”
I would not participate or attend the occasion because otherwise it appears all is forgiven and it was okay to ignore you and treat you like crap. Explain to your husband until he has walked a mile in your shoes, his opinion doesn't count. Tell him you love him and appreciate that he wants to help but he really has no idea how deeply you were hurt. You never mention whether you ever received any therapy to help you deal then and now. It is never too late to seek help to try to recover from abuse.
31. AITJ For Kicking My Husband's Son Out Of My House For Stealing?
“My stepson (19) got kicked out of his mother’s house after stealing and selling a very expensive item from her husband. He was going from a friend’s house to another til my husband brought him in.
I wasn’t thrilled to have him in the apartment given his ‘reputation’ but he was almost homeless and needed help so I agreed to let him stay with us til we work something out with his mom.
Truth be told, he’s pretty respectful, helped with chores, and washed ours and the neighbors’ cars (for cash) so I thought he had changed. BUT, something strange started happening, My 3k necklace disappeared once and I accidentally found it in the bathroom cabinet.
Then it disappeared again and I was lucky to find it but it was somehow hidden under the couch when I found it. I started realizing that my stepson was attempting to steal the necklace but I kept finding it when he’d hidden it.
I decided to wear it to keep it safe.
Monday evening, I was napping in my bedroom while my husband was at work. I fell into a deep sleep and then suddenly got woken up by feeling someone’s fingers on the back of my neck.
I found my stepson trying to open my necklace’s clasp. I was lying on one side and I turned and saw him, I started panicking and he took some steps back telling me to calm down.
I sat up and yelled asking what he was doing and he started stuttering. I figured he was trying to steal the necklace from me, I yelled at him to get out and then called my husband crying.
My husband got home and tried to work the situation out by making his son apologize but I said I won’t have him here any longer, I don’t feel safe anymore after he tried to snatch my necklace while I was sleeping!!!
and this wasn’t even the first time he tried to steal the necklace. My husband said his son had nowhere to go and it’d be cruel to kick him out but I demanded that he leave.
He went to a friend’s house and my husband got back and picked a fight with me about how I’m putting him in a position to choose between his son and me.
he kept convincing me to let him return and promise to make him swear he won’t do it but I refused. I’m honestly worried and can not be sleeping with both eyes closed with his son in the house.
Am I justified in my action?”
30. WIBTJ If I Don't Go To My Friend's Bachelorette Party?
“I’ve been friends with Sarah for 17 years now. We’ve had the same friendship group for all that time including Rachel, Emily, and Millie, and have always been close even after moving across the country for university, etc. Sarah had always said that when she got married we would be bridesmaids.
Sarah met Graham a few years ago and they’re now engaged and getting married in a few months. Since my meeting him she’s really changed, not spending much time with us, always ignoring us when we try to organize plans, and had a lot of excuses when we try to invite her out but stuff like that happens when people get into relationships.
When she got engaged, she didn’t ask any of us to be her bridesmaids apart from Rachel who had her as a bridesmaid. I was upset but fair enough, the people she asked had all had her as a bridesmaid at her wedding and I’m not married. I was really upset to start with but I realized it’s no big deal, I’ll still be at the wedding.
We then got invited to her hen party which is going to be over 3 days and is going to cost around £300 each. None of the activities are my cup of tea, but I said I’d go for the old Sarah.
The Sarah she used to be before she met Graham. It would be good to have one last celebration before she gets married as we don’t think Graham will let her out much (it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship but she’s happy).
Last week I got my invite to the wedding and I’m only invited to the evening reception. Not the ceremony or the wedding breakfast. It’s the same with Emily and Millie isn’t invited to any of it.
For the last year, she’s been talking about this wedding around us, as if we would be invited. Everyone is shocked we’re not invited, especially Rachel who is furious.
I’ve decided that since she doesn’t care enough about me to invite me to the ceremony, I don’t want to spend £300 and waste a bank holiday weekend going to her hen party a couple of hours away from home.
WIBTJ if I didn’t go now? I feel bad because we’ve been friends for so long, but she’s excluding people who are supposed to be her best friends from the wedding.
If she said it was a small wedding and she couldn’t afford to invite everyone, I’d understand but she’s openly talked about this big extravagant wedding to us for over a year.
I don’t know if it’s Graham behind all this and I don’t know how to ask her about it. I’ll lose my deposit but I’m not too bothered by that.”
29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Call An 8-Year-Old "Uncle"?
“Noth my dad and grandpa had kids young, so I’m 15, my dad is 37, and I think grandpa is somewhere in his late 50s.
My grandparents divorced when I was a kid and two years later grandpa remarried. His new wife, who’s younger than my dad, brought a kid to the marriage, and suddenly I had a step-uncle.
Let’s just call him Brian.
When we first met, the kid was like 4 or something. I thought it would be funny to call him Uncle Brian cause of the ridiculousness of having an uncle so much younger than me.
It was a joke and he liked it, so I kept calling him that.
A couple of years later and we find out he’s not my step-uncle but my half-uncle. Grandpa apparently had a 2nd family he managed to hide even through the divorce and tried to pass his new wife off as someone he’d met just after separating.
Cue big drama messy fighting.
I didn’t see Grandpa and his new family for more than a year. He’s only just started patching things up between the rest of our family so I only just met my Brian again.
He’s become a little hateful. He’s needy, whiny, and throws tantrums all the time. I just try to ignore him but his mom spoils him so I don’t think he’ll get better anytime soon.
None of this would be a problem except when my grandpa was trying to patch things up, he moved closer to my family and now Brian and I go to the same school.
It’s a K-12, and though I don’t see him during the day, we sometimes run into each other after school. I’ve got a club and he’s in the after-school childcare thing.
When we see each other he keeps wanting me to call him Uncle Brian and I keep telling him no. The other day he threw one of his tantrums at school saying I have to call him Uncle Brian.
He’s my uncle and that means I have to do what he says. I told him no I didn’t and that I’m tired of him being a whiny brat. I’m older than him and that means he has to do what I say.
He didn’t listen and kept saying I have to call him uncle.
We ended up making a bit of a scene and word got back to our families and Brian’s mom said if it meant so much to him that I should just call him uncle.
I said I’m not doing that. Grandpa sided with her and my dad hasn’t said anything directly but I think he wants me to do it just to keep the peace.
But it’s stupid.
He’s a kid and calling him Uncle Brian just because he’s whining that I have to do it is demeaning, especially at school. It was a joke when he was younger. One that I chose to participate in and not something that was forced on me.
But this is different.
AITJ if I stand my ground on this?”
28. AITJ For Going Off On My Ex For Trying To Make Our Daughter Break Up With Her Significant Other?
“My (45 m) ex (35 f) and I have a daughter, Alana (16 f). Alana has been with Eric (18 m) for about 8 months now.
Things have been going well for them.
My ex is active in Alana’s school community and recently met Eric’s dad (44 m) at a recent school function. From what I understand, they hit it off and were moving in the direction of seeing each other.
That is until Eric’s dad found out that my ex is the mother of his son’s SO. He thought things would be weird and awkward if they started going out, so he made it clear to my ex that they were no longer a possibility and why.
My ex did not take it well. According to what Alana told me later, her mom came home wasted one night and started mumbling at her about how she was a burden who always ruined her happiness.
The next day, ex either didn’t remember or pretended not to remember and thanked Alana for taking care of her when she was wasted.
But it didn’t take long before my ex started telling Alana how she didn’t think Eric was right for her, they’ve got a 2-year age gap and will be separated for at least that long when he went to college, and that it would be better to break it off now.
Alana was upset and they got into a fight bad enough that she came to spend the night at my place. I told her that her mother was full of it, and as long as the guy was not hurting her, it was none of her mother’s business who she dates.
Things calmed down for a bit before suddenly escalating. Instead of simply telling my daughter it would be best to break up with Eric, my ex started actively trying to sabotage the relationship.
Examples include telling Alana she saw Eric with another girl, talking up and trying to introduce Alana to one of her friend’s kids, and even stealing Alana’s phone so that she could use it to text Eric that they were done.
After resolving the misunderstanding with Eric, Alana had an even bigger fight with her mother before finally getting the reason why she was doing this. She wanted to get together with Eric’s dad, but he wouldn’t be with her because the kids were together.
Alana lost it, called her mom a crazy witch, and came back over to live with me.
When I got the full story, I was livid. I called my ex to ask her what she thought she was doing.
She said her love life wasn’t any of my business. I told her I don’t care about her love life, I care about our daughter. Then I asked her why, if Eric’s dad wouldn’t be with her because of the kids’ relationship, would she think he would be okay with her breaking the kids up?
She called me jealous and said he wouldn’t know if I didn’t tell him. I called her a crazy witch just like Alana did and hung up.
Now, not only am I getting texts from her calling me abusive, but also her sister and her friends (who I assume don’t have the true story) calling me the same.
I try to ignore them, but it did get me thinking about whether I went too far when I lost my temper. I’m not a 16-year-old like Alana who can’t filter their thoughts from their mouth.
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Cuddling With My Mom?
“So I (14 m) grew up with two moms, who I call mom and mama (both 33 f), and whenever one of them was on their period, the other would take me and we’d go get all the stuff needed for it.
Then we’d always lay in bed and watch movies on their tv. My mums got divorced two years ago and since then I’ve just been doing it by myself for whichever mum I’m staying with when it happens.
Well, my mom started going out with this guy about 7 months ago and he really doesn’t like me. I’m not biologically related to the mom he’s seeing and so he thinks it’s weird that she’s raising a ‘random child’.
He’s never said it to her but he says it to me when we’re alone.
My mum got her period yesterday and was getting really bad cramps so I biked over to a store and grabbed some chocolates, painkillers, and tampons for her.
Then like usual when I got home, we laid in her bed together and watched a show. Her SO showed up but I was asleep and didn’t hear him come in until he was already yelling.
He kept saying I was being a creep and that it was disgusting that I would touch my mom like that because I had been laying with my head on her chest while we cuddled.
My mom started yelling back saying he was irrational and that it was innocent, and I told him that he was weird and creepy if he saw a son cuddling his mom and instantly thought of anything inappropriate.
He yelled back that I wasn’t her son and that no normal 14-year-old boy would do that. My mom kicked him out of the house and told him to not come back.
I thought I was in the right but I told my friends about this and they said it is weird that I like to snuggle with my moms and now I feel a bit bad.”
26. AITJ For Choosing Not To Help My Coworker Who's A Single Parent?
“I started with my current job about a year or so ago. I lucked out and was hired for the first shift. My coworker ‘Mel’ started probably 6-8 months ago. She takes over my job for the second shift. We talk sometimes during shift change and have worked overtime (first shift Saturdays) together several times.
I wouldn’t say we’re friends but we’re friendly.
Friday during shift change Mel asked if it’d be possible for me to change shifts with her, she comes on first and I go to the second shift…
permanently. I was caught off guard and said ‘Huh? Why?’ She said something about her sister can’t watch her kid in the afternoon anymore and now she has to be off when her kid gets off of school.
Claims that she asked to just go to the first shift but they said there aren’t any openings. So she figured she’d ask me. I said no and left for the day.
She brought it up again yesterday, and wanted to see ‘if I reconsidered over the weekend’. I said, ‘Yea, no’. She said, ‘Ugh you’re single and don’t have kids you don’t understand how hard it is to be a single parent I need to go on first’ and I could help her out but I’m just choosing not to.
I just kinda shrugged and grabbed my stuff and left.
Then today my manager approached me and asked if I’d be interested in going on second. I said, ‘No’. She said, ‘Oh, cause Mel had some family stuff come up and needs to be on first for a while’.
I said, ‘Yea she told me. I can’t do it’. The manager tried guilting me about how ‘we’ should help each other and yada yada. That she’s afraid Mel might quit and she was trying to work something out.
She has kids though so of course she’s going to side with Mel.
When Mel came in she said, ‘Just checking one more time’. I said ‘No’ again. She said, ‘Man come on, please.
You could help me out but you just don’t want to, it’s not like you need to be on first shift and have obligations like a family’. I just left because I’m not arguing.
Honestly, I probably could go on the second shift, but I just don’t see the point. When I was looking for a job I specifically applied for places for the first shift because I HATE the second shift, working the second shift makes it impossible for me to have a social life or do anything.
It’s not like I NEED to be on first, it’s more of a convenience thing.
AITJ for saying no?”
25. AITJ For Refusing To Donate A Part Of My Liver To My Partner?
“My partner (31 M) in the past had a binge drinking problem before we met.
By the time we met, he had been sober for years but he had cirrhosis on his liver that doesn’t look to be getting better and had some really bad lab results.
He also had an embolism in his lung so had reduced lung function and diabetes. He went to a liver specialist who mentioned that my partner might need a liver transplant in the future and he came bad pretty bummed about that understandably.
He then not seriously but kind of hopefully let me know that I should donate part of my liver to him if we matched. I told him no and I was kind of shocked he would ask.
We’ve been together for 8 months and while I like him I’m not convinced he’s the one yet. He has a lot of qualities I like but some that drive me up the wall including having poor personal hygiene and not looking after his diet and eating mostly fast food (which probably caused the diabetes).
He was surprised and then tried to cover it up saying he didn’t expect it and was just joking. I felt like he was serious but didn’t want to seem that way and told him I would only think about doing something so personal for a parent, sibling, or spouse and only if we were on good terms. Then he joked then he could just ask me to marry him to get my liver and I told him now that he’s mentioned it it would make any marriage proposal seem disingenuous so I wouldn’t get matched to see if I was a candidate beforehand.
He got serious and told me the liver isn’t a big transplant and I would still be able to keep part of my liver. I told him it doesn’t matter that the liver regenerates I wouldn’t even think about doing it for just a guy.
He got offended and said he would do it for me if the situation was reversed and I said the problem is the situation isn’t reversed so I’m not convinced he would just because he’s spouting platitudes.
He got really angry and stormed out and hasn’t been back in hours. AITJ for being overly honest with him that I wouldn’t donate any liver for him?”
24. AITJ For Calling An Uber To Take Me To The Hospital?
“Firstly – I’m in Australia so thankfully it’s not a scenario where the true jerk is the healthcare system!
But in saying that – I didn’t call an ambulance (even though I couldn’t even step on it) because we’re having massive backlogs with our paramedic teams and there was an expected ramp time (AKA waiting outside in the cold on an ambulance stretcher) of an hour and a half at this particular point in time.
On Saturday afternoon I (F 21) managed to trip over a rug that had flipped up and fell on my foot. Heard a crack, tried to stand up, and couldn’t for a few minutes.
When I could eventually stand; I made my way to the couch with an ice pack and iced it for 20 minutes. When I pulled it away – I immediately noticed how swollen and bruised it already was and realized it probably needed some medical attention.
Where I am, the doctors had all closed at 2 pm; and the only one open was a shady one that doesn’t bulk bill and costs a lot extra on the weekend (something I couldn’t really afford, especially now knowing they would have sent me straight to the hospital anyway!).
Obviously, I couldn’t drive in this condition and neither of my housemates is off their L’s yet – and didn’t want to sit around in a hospital during a global crisis for hours – so I did call 000 and was informed about the rampings.
Decided to call an Uber. The guy seemed a little surprised when he saw me using my housemate’s shoulder to hop to the Uber – but seemed to recover quickly.
When we got to the hospital; I asked him to drive around to the back entrance where Emergency was (a 200m/300m drive) and he refused stating that it was ‘too much’ to ask of him.
As I went to get out, he scolded me for getting an Uber and said this wasn’t his ‘job’ and that I should have called an ambulance. He told me I was ‘putting him at risk’ cause ‘now I could pretend I did this in his car and sue him’.
I told him I wouldn’t and got out of the car. He sped off and thankfully someone had left a hospital wheelchair at the door so once I got a ‘nod’ from the nurse on door duty I popped myself in it and wheeled myself internally to the ER where I got treated and given a walking cast and a very uncomfortable pair of crutches.
When I got home however, my neighbor (who I don’t know very well) asked what happened and I told him – he agreed with the Uber driver and said I was ‘really irresponsible’ to ‘put him in that position’ because he had to assume duty of care for me.
So AITJ?
Quick ninja edit: forgot to say that my foot WAS diagnosed as broken – broke a bone along my ankle bone. I’m in a boot and on crutches for 6 weeks at this point.
At least it’s getting colder and my foot will be warm in the boot!”
23. AITJ For Moving Someone's Laundry?
“I live in an apartment building with public washers and dryers that I have used for over a year with no issue until today.
I went to move my laundry from the washer to the dryer but saw that the dryers were full with a finished load, ‘no biggie’ I thought so I hopped up on the counter and scrolled through my phone for 10 minutes or so, which I figured was a courteous amount of time to wait.
I took out the load that was in the dryer, set it on the counter, and went on with my day… Until I went to take my clothes out and there was a lady standing in front of the machine seemingly waiting for someone.
As soon as we lock eyes she says ‘It’s a jerk move to take people’s stuff out of the laundry’ which really caught me off guard as I have forgotten about things in the dryer in the past and my things were taken out, as they should have been in my opinion.
I told her ‘I waited for 10 minutes before taking it out, I’m sorry’ before she cut me off to start raising her voice saying ‘You were touching my undergarments! That’s so creepy and disgusting!
You need to keep your hands off people’s stuff’.
Admittedly I was taken aback and pretty offended so I responded in a harsh tone saying ‘You need to stop using public laundry then if you’re not gonna be more on top of your crap.
10 minutes is plenty of time for me to wait’ before she stormed off to her apartment.
As I was walking back up the stairs she brought her dog out with her on a leash and started telling me to ‘Grow up and be more patient’ and some other stuff I didn’t hear as I went up the stairs to my apartment.
AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Asking My Sister To Be One Of My Groomsmen?
“My (25 m) fiancée (24 f) has never gotten along with my sister (18 f). My fiancée has never liked how close I am with my sister, and it has been a cause of a few arguments.
I proposed to my fiancée (‘Sarah’) a few months ago, and things have been going smoothly. In fact, I would say our relationship has never been better.
A few days ago, Sarah listed off to me all of the people she wanted as bridesmaids, and not surprisingly, my sister was not one of them.
She said she was planning on asking them in a few more months to be in our wedding.
Sarah then asked me if I knew who I wanted as groomsmen. I listed off a couple of friends that Sarah knew, ‘Keegan, Joe, Sammy, etc.’ and then, I said I wanted my sister to be one of my groomsmen.
This made Sarah upset. She said that it wasn’t traditional for a woman to be a groomsman and that it would embarrass her. I explained to her that my sister was one of the most important people in my life, and she was going to be a part of our wedding.
This made Sarah even more upset, and she accused me of trying to ruin her wedding day, and she locked herself in the bathroom.
It’s been a few days since this, and we haven’t spoken at all.
many of her family members have reached out to me and asked me to not include my sister in the wedding at all, and that Sarah should be the most important woman in my life, not my sister.
My MIL even called me, telling me that I was making Sarah depressed and that I was a horrible person for doing this to my future wife.
My sister heard about all of this and told me that it was okay to not invite her.
I stood my ground and told all of them that my sister would be included, no matter what.
AITJ for doing so?
Edit: Sarah’s dislike stems from her walking in on my sister and me cuddling.
Sister had her head on my shoulder, and my arm was wrapped around her, which made Sarah upset.
2nd Edit: My sister is aromantic, and told me when she first came out that she would most likely never get married, and that made her sad.
I told her she could be a part of my wedding, even if it wasn’t the same thing. I will never forget the look of joy on my sister’s face. This is why I won’t back down.”
21. AITJ For Not Getting My Significant Other A Birthday Present?
“My significant other and I have been together for almost 3 years. Gifts have been sorta a sore spot, at least for me.
So the first year we were together she made me some cake things for my birthday. Which was nice and everything, but then she took like half of them back to give to her family.
It just seemed kinda weird like ‘here’s your present but I’m taking part of it back”.
Then her birthday came that year and I did a bunch of stuff for her, got her balloons, flowers, a card, and some gifts.
Christmas came and I gave her a few gifts, and didn’t get anything. On my following birthday, nothing. For her birthday that year, I got her a gift but I didn’t go all out like the first year.
Last Christmas she wanted seat covers for her car, I bought them but wanted to see if she even gave me a card or anything, which she didn’t. We went to lunch a few days after Christmas she kept insisting on coming over.
I felt like I had to give them to her since they were still wrapped and sitting in my living room. But that was sorta the last straw with me and gifts with her.
My birthday came and the same thing, nothing.
So in almost 3 years of birthdays and Christmases, I got half a gift. I’ve tried talking to her about it but she just claims ‘she forgot’ or ‘has so many other people to shop for for Christmas’ etc.
She was dropping hints before her birthday for different stuff, so I knew what she wanted. I just didn’t want to buy it.
Her birthday came and I didn’t get her anything.
I figured why keep putting in the effort and buy gifts for someone that can’t be bothered to even make me a card? It’s not a financial thing either because we both make about the same amount, and like I said I’d appreciate a homemade card that she drew or something.
So we went out to celebrate on Saturday. She kept saying she was excited to get her gift. I took her out to dinner, then she wanted to come over. So she came over to my house.
She kept looking around for a while. Then said, ‘Okay I’m ready to open my gift’. I said, ‘What gift?’ She said, ‘Ha ha seriously now… it’s my birthdayyyy’. I said ‘I knowww’.
She said, ‘Quit messing around’. I said, ‘I’m not messing around, I really didn’t get you anything’. She said, ‘Then why did I come over?’ I said, ‘I don’t know you wanted to.’ She said, ‘You really didn’t even get me a card?’ I said, ‘No, I just figured we’re not doing gifts anymore, I mean you don’t give them so…’
She gave her usual excuses ‘You’re hard to shop for’ (I’m not I tell her what I’d like and some stuff is only 5-10 bucks) ‘Well I forget’ and a few other things.
Then she said, ‘It shouldn’t be about receiving, it’s about giving, but thanks for being a passive-aggressive jerk and ruining my birthday’.
AITJ for not getting my SO a birthday present?”
20. AITJ For Not Coming To My Sister's Wedding Because Of My Daughter's Birthday Celebration?
“My sister started going out with a forty-five-year-old man when she was twenty.
My parents strongly disapproved, and my sister angrily moved out. She went completely no contact with our parents but had slight contact with me through social media.
Three years ago, she came home to our parents as it turned out that her significant other had been having an affair with an even younger woman.
My parents immediately took her in until she found a job. After that, she moved again, and for some reason, stopped contacting Mum and Dad. Suddenly, out of the blue, she sent us invitations to her wedding some time ago.
Now, her wedding was on the date of my daughter’s tenth birthday. We had decided to celebrate it in a big way for a really long time, and I absolutely was not going to back off on this.
My parents begged me to go to the wedding with them, and that my daughter’s birthday could be celebrated a few days later, but I denied. I also didn’t like how easily my sister just drifted away and didn’t even have the decency to contact our parents after she no longer needed them, but the main reason I refused to go was that my daughter didn’t deserve this last-minute change of plans after being excited for her birthday for almost a month.
So my parents went to my sister’s wedding alone. I didn’t even have her phone number, just her email address as it was printed on the invitation cards, so I simply mailed her two days before the wedding with a short and impersonal message explaining why I couldn’t come.
A week after the wedding, my sister called me that she was upset I was putting on a birthday party, something that comes every year above her special day, the day she wanted to spend with family.
I lost it and proceeded to tell her how she had continually hurt our parents with her actions and that they were very forgiving. I also told her that I stopped considering her family after she did not even bother to call after moving out the second time.
She was very upset and started crying.
I’m clouded by emotions right now and I don’t know if I am in the wrong. AITJ?”
19. WIBTJ If I Don't Adopt My Ex's Other Child?
“My ex (Sarah, 34 F) and I (33 M) started going out near the end of college, and we were together for 8 years.
During that time we worked for a few years, I went to med school, and she transitioned to consulting while working mostly from home. We had Sean (7 M) before amicably separating 5 years ago.
The catalyst for the breakup was me potentially leaving California, and shortly after we split I accepted a residency position at a hospital on the east coast. We co-parented successfully with the understanding that Sean spent preplanned vacation weeks with me and that I’d move back when residency was over to be closer to our son.
Sarah had another child (Grace, 4 F) about a year later with a guy who isn’t in the picture at all. Don’t know the full story, but there’s no desire for a relationship with Grace from the entire family.
It’s important to mention that Sarah’s family went in full no contact when she insisted she was bi and an atheist. They are vile, proselytizing bigots. So the only family Grace knows are my ex and son.
When I moved back to California a couple of years ago, Sarah and I reworked our co-parent agreement for Sean to spend weekends and short school breaks at my apartment. After a few months, Sean insisted that Grace join us or he wouldn’t come over because it wasn’t fair to leave her out of our fun trips and ‘sleepovers.’ I was touched, so I brought it up to Sarah and she felt it was better not to separate siblings who are so attached. I started taking both the kids on weekends and was so involved that Grace even copied Sean in calling me ‘daddy.’ From that point on I made sure to treat Grace exactly the same as Sean, but I worry they picked up on my reluctance to bond with her due to the lingering fear that I couldn’t be in Grace’s life forever if Sarah flipped.
Since the global crisis hit Sarah hasn’t been stable, and although the whole global crisis has been a mental illness roller coaster, things took a sharp turn in the last few weeks.
Both kids have been staying with me full-time and will be for as long as I can tell since I suspect Sarah has been abusing her prescription meds. A few days ago she mixed an antidepressant cocktail that sent her to the hospital while trying to compensate for doses she missed, which is so unlike her that I simply can’t understand how or why.
When I told my mom what happened, she said I should contact CPS and prepare to sue for full custody of my ‘children’. I argued that I potentially wouldn’t get custody of Grace even after a lengthy, expensive legal process.
She brushed it off, laughed, and said, ‘You’re lucky, it’s not every day you get a two-for-one special on kids. Think of it the same way people who have twins do and step up to the task.’ When I didn’t agree she flipped out, hung up, and told my siblings that I was planning to add to my son’s trauma by throwing away my daughter.
I’m honestly not sure what to do.
WIBTJ if I only sue for custody of Sean and not Grace?”
18. AITJ For Not Trying To Make My Other Siblings Feel Loved By Our Relatives?
“My mom died when I (18 f) was 5 and my sister was 8. Our parents were still together when she died. Dad didn’t like being single so he dated around for a few months and then he met Hannah.
Hannah had a daughter who was 2 years old at the time. They got married and had babies together. Before Dad and Hannah even got married there was a lot of talk about Hannah’s daughter joining us on visits with our mom’s side of the family.
But she never did join us. I do remember my uncle coming to pick us up and saying no to my dad when he presented our stepsister ready and waiting to come.
They had never mentioned it to my family though. I am aware that my grandparents did need to attend court for visits to happen again, because the first time they refused to take Hannah’s daughter, contact was almost severed.
They never did include our stepsister or half-siblings. I will admit, we had a lot more. We were never afraid of money not being there because if my dad and Hannah didn’t have it, then my grandparents, an aunt or an uncle would.
We had two birthday and Christmas celebrations. One with Dad and that whole side of the family. The other with mom’s family.
My stepsister and half-siblings have expressed disappointment in not having as much family as we do, and that they don’t get included the same.
They never get two of things like we did so that was always a sticking point. I remember my grandparents talking to me and my sister about it when we were kids.
They asked us what we wanted. We said we didn’t care either way but we liked having time with them to ourselves and not having to share them. My sister was especially into that because she remembered Mom more and felt a lot more territorial over the idea of them being our family and not their family.
Some stuff has happened recently to bring this all to a boiling point. When my sister graduated high school my grandparents gave her money for school or whatever she wanted to do after graduating.
They also offered to let her stay in a family-owned house. I got the same offer recently as well as money too. My stepsister had surgery 6 months ago and then she needed physio.
My mom’s family didn’t do anything which bothered my dad and Hannah, and then they started fighting with me and my sister because we didn’t insist on our family treating the others like their family.
My sister said it’s because they’re not related to them at all. The whole thing has led to us not talking to them for a bit. They claim we’re jerks for not trying to make our other siblings feel loved and wanted and like they have as much family as we do.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Refusing To Cut My Hair Short?
“I have hair that is significantly longer than the average person. I get compliments about it all the time and even though it’s a hassle looking after it, I really do like it.
My friend, who we’ll call Kate, lost her mother to cancer before we met. I don’t know the full story but apparently, she used to have hair as long as mine until she shaved it all off.
Kate and I haven’t been friends for long but I really thought things were good between us until Kate pulled me aside one day to ask me for a favour. I asked her what favor it was and she said she wanted me to cut my hair to at least just past my shoulders because it looked so much like her mom’s.
I thought she was just making a really bad joke but it turned out she genuinely wanted me to do that. She said it was bringing back her trauma to see my hair and that she didn’t know if she could keep being friends with me, as well as the fact that she really only asked because we were such close friends.
She said she wanted to ask from the moment our friendship began but wanted to wait since it would be weird if she asked then.
I told her that I was sorry but that I wouldn’t be doing that.
I love my hair. Here’s where I might be the jerk. I told her a few reasons as to why I loved having long hair and one of them was about how much I resembled my mother.
Immediately I felt bad because of the awkward timing of the comment and tried to tell her that I wasn’t making fun of her for not having a mom or anything but this seemed to make her more mad.
She started screaming and crying about how she thought she could trust me and how awful I was for gloating at the fact that my mother is still alive.
I tried diffusing the situation but it clearly wasn’t going to work out so I just ran out.
Recently I’ve been getting calls and texts from our friends about how disgusting I am and it turns out Kate told them that I keep reminding her of her mom and even once said I look more like Kate’s mom’s daughter than Kate.
I’ve tried explaining the truth and most of my friends have sided with me but a few don’t believe me and are saying I’m a jerk and that I should just cut my hair anyway, along with a comment or two about how hopefully I get to experience not having a mother soon.
Edit: I did bring up the fact that I’m not the only long-haired person in the world and that many people in my culture have long hair and she countered it by saying that whilst that’s true, she lives in a predominantly white neighborhood and it’s rare to see hair as long as her mothers or mine (she herself is white whereas I am not so I’m not sure exactly why that was brought into it.) So should I just do it even though she went behind my back and changed the story?
I feel like if she wasn’t still grieving she wouldn’t have done that. I kind of get it to an extent because I myself went through something quite traumatic and now I can’t look at a very popular drink without getting flashbacks just because I had it in my hand at the time but at the same time I don’t demand for store owners to stop selling them or anything so why should she demand for me to cut my hair?
If I was causing so much harm then why would she continue to get to know me? And surely long hair isn’t the only thing that reminds her of her mother? And why would she immediately get so emotional and start screaming at me?
Surely in that situation, she’d be pleading? It’s not like I share a striking resemblance to her; I don’t even look remotely like her mother, it’s just the hair LENGTH.”
16. AITJ For Kicking Out My Wife's Stepdad Because Of What Happened To The Kittens?
“I (32 M) am married to A (31 F).
We both live together in an apartment, with our two cats, K and T. We also live with A’s family, her mom, younger brother, and stepdad. A’s stepdad doesn’t have a job so they can’t afford a decent place, so A’s mom begged us to let them live there for a while (it’s been 5 years now).
A month ago, our cats just mated and T gave birth to 5 kittens (yay!), A and I are taking care of them properly and we place them in a cage at night to prevent the kittens to wander around and hurting themselves.
We’ll do this until they’re old enough (3 months old).
Yesterday morning, I saw A’s stepdad playing with the family computer in our living room, and he was eating a bunch of chicken bones.
I noticed this before I went to work, and I reminded him to throw the bones away because the kittens are out of their cage. He just gave me a simple nod.
I went to work thinking he did it, and around 2 pm, my wife called me saying that one of our kittens passed away and another one is on the brink of death.
I went out of work as fast as I could and called the nearest vet. However, when I arrived home, the two kittens are already dead. My wife and I cried so much, even though we had the kittens only for a month.
Later that night, we found out that they both choked on chicken bones, and I also found out that A’s stepdad never threw his leftovers and just left them on the computer table.
This made me so furious! I saw him through my peripheral vision and I walked towards him and told him to grab his things and get out. A’s mom however wasn’t having it.
She told me that they don’t have anywhere else to stay, and that it was my fault for not placing the kittens in the cage, even if she knew that we have a rule that the kittens are only in their cage at night.
I told her that it was her husband’s fault for being a lazy jerk who can’t find a job and can‘t even throw his trash, and continued with fine, you and A’s younger brother can stay, but stepdad has to go.
It’s been a few hours since that incident, and my stepdad is cursing me across the living room. A supports me on my decision, but her mom has threatened to call the cops.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Not Wanting Any Of My Ex's Stepkids To Get Involved In My Business?
“Ex-wife and I divorced 7 years ago. We have a teenage daughter together. Ex and I are not on the best of terms. When she started going out with her husband Jeff, the two of them attempted to get me to step back or step out of my daughter’s life so he could be her new father.
On top of that, since Jeff had three kids instead of one, he liked to believe he knew better than me and was always trying to give me unsolicited advice, always acting superior.
One time he said to my daughter in front of me that I wanted her to call him dad too since he was such an amazing parent and one I could aspire to be like.
I did have to deny saying that without trying to say I didn’t want my daughter to call him dad. I wanted to leave it to her. She never did call him dad and she thinks he’s super arrogant too.
Jeff’s kids are teens now too and they are aware my daughter has a summer and sometimes weekend job at the business I own. Ex and Jeff want his kids to work there too.
They say it would be great for them to all be part of the family business and work together and build sibling bonds. I don’t want Jeff’s kids anywhere near my business.
I do not want to be more involved in my ex’s new life more than I already am because of our daughter. Jeff’s kids are not part of my family so them being part of the family business makes no sense.
Plus from what my daughter has said and what ex and Jeff have said, they’re not very close and don’t consider each other siblings.
My saying no has been controversial and I hear from Jeff and my ex all the time how I’m a jerk and should be willing to give them a shot, pointing out that they are my daughter’s family whether I like it or not and she should be able to include them in a business she will one day inherit.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Telling My Significant Other Not To Help A Random Child?
“This past weekend my now ex (40) and I (28) were at the mall. We were standing in line at the food court when we noticed a little 2-year-old girl in front of us kept intentionally sitting on the floor.
Regardless of her mother’s numerous attempts to pick her back up on her feet, the little girl insisted on sitting back down on the floor. At one point, the mother walked a couple of feet away so she could order her food.
Meanwhile, the little girl put herself down on the floor again. This time, my ex attempted to go and pick the girl up and put her back on her feet himself, until I stopped him and told him ‘Not your child, not your business’.
He immediately rolled his eyes and shook his head at me in disgust.
After we ordered our food and sat down at a table to eat, he asked me why I had a problem with him trying to help the little girl.
I told him it’s not your child, not your business. The little girl was fine and she was obviously putting herself on the floor on purpose. After I said that, he went as far as literally obliterating my character as a person, talked down to me, and threw me under the bus for my reasoning.
He told me that I lack empathy, I lack morals, I’m emotionless, have a dark personality, and am non-Christian-like, and also told me that I should be ashamed of myself to respond in such a way that I’m a nurse and should know a risk when I see one.
According to him, his main reason for attempting to pick the little girl off the floor was so he could help prevent the chance of her hitting her head on a cone that was behind her.
Mind you, we’ve been together for 3 years and this was an isolated event. It was just a week ago that he was telling me about how much his family adores me and how sweet he thought I was for his bday gifts.
I understand his argument to an extent but I feel betrayed to know that he could throw my character under the bus so quickly and easily over such a minuscule event and also over someone that neither of us knows.
I don’t feel like him talking down to me like that was appropriate at all and my feelings are deeply hurt by this, which I’ve expressed to him already to no avail.
Am I wrong for not letting him help? Am I wrong for minding my business when I go out in public?”
13. AITJ For Snooping In My Partner's Closet?
“A couple of months ago my partner and I were supposed to go to a gig for my partner’s brother’s birthday with his family, so I got his brother a small gift I thought he’d like.
My partner said it was a thoughtful gift and liked the idea. We didn’t end up going because my partner had to stay late for work, so I asked my partner to give the gift to his brother when he next visited home.
A couple weeks after that I asked if he had given his brother the gift when he told me he’d visited home. He said yes, his brother said thank you, and that he thought the gift was super thoughtful.
Fast forward to today, I was hanging some of my coats in my partner’s closet at his place. I asked him yesterday if that was ok (so that his room is not so cluttered) and he said it wasn’t a problem, I didn’t need to ask.
I also told him today I would be getting some small storage solutions so his room wasn’t as cluttered with the things I’ve left there (mainly a small laundry basket to keep my undergarments, clothes, and makeup in), he said it was a good idea.
So I was in his closet hanging my coats and putting the new laundry bag of my stuff there so it was out of the way, and I see my partner’s brother’s gift on the floor, still in the wrapping.
I was upset because I wasn’t sure why he’d lie about that for seemingly no reason.
I thought about waiting until he was home from work to bring it up, but I wanted to be direct since it was really upsetting me.
I texted him ‘I found your brother’s gift, what happened?’ And he instantly freaked out at me for going through his things, saying I have too much stuff at his and there was no room in the closet, and I need to put the stuff elsewhere.
I was confused because I wasn’t going through his things, I’ve never been someone to do that in a relationship, but it was on the ground at the front of the closet where he knew I’d been hanging stuff up.
I told him we can talk about a longer-term solution to my stuff and where it goes after, but he hasn’t acknowledged the lie at all and said I was hurt that he’d lied seemingly for no reason, and how easy it was for him to do so.
He said it wasn’t that deep, he lied because he rarely goes home and wanted me ‘off his back about it’ (that was the first time I’d asked about it when he told me he had given it).
AITJ for putting my things in his closet and picking up the gift to see it was unopened, then messaging him about it at work?”
12. AITJ For Not Telling My Cousin That He Cannot "Game" With A Mac?
“I buy a lot of tech. I have this crazy obsessive cousin (16), the kid is crazy.
I cut my hair, he has to cut it like me. I got a phone case, he has to get the same one. So, I’ve become sick of it.
So, I collect older tech devices.
He doesn’t know that, or else he’d have the same exact collection as me. I decided to do a little ‘test’, to make sure he actually is copying and it isn’t me going crazy.
I bought an old iPhone as a ‘2nd phone’. He saw this and asked me where I got it from. Then bought it too. I confronted him. He claimed he just always wanted it.
Okay, no biggie. I bought an expensive designer shirt. When he saw it, he started asking me about it. I told him to back off. Two days later, he bought a similar one.
So, you get the idea.
I needed a new laptop, so a couple of months ago, I bought one. I didn’t tell him. But, two days ago, I bought a 2016 Macbook Pro for a really good deal, as I needed an older Mac for a project.
Yesterday, he was at my house. He saw it and was asking me about it. So I told him the model name and stuff. I didn’t expect him to do this, but he did it.
Today, he rocks up to my house uninvited and is mad at me, because this computer he bought cannot ‘game’, (if you know anything about Macs, they cannot game). I told him, Macs cannot game.
Then he started yelling at me, for ‘misleading’ him, and how he’s out 500 dollars (I didn’t even pay anywhere close to that amount) because he bought this computer and stuff like that.
I told him, well maybe you should learn to stop copying me, especially when you know nothing about computer hardware, and how computers work. When I buy something I know what it is, and what it can do.
You just copy me without knowing anything. And I kicked him out.
Since then I’ve been bombarded by family members, ASKING ME TO REIMBURSE HIM.”
11. AITJ For Telling My Sister She's Being Really Tacky?
“I (f 23) have a twin sister Kacy (f 23, obviously).
Kacy is getting married in March 2023 and is having a really extravagant indoor wedding at a fancy hotel.
I’m happy for Kacy, but I think her plans for the wedding are extremely tacky and I’m going to explain why.
Kacy posted on social media that she expects all guests to pay a $70 entrance fee each and wrote it’s because the wedding costs $xyz.
She’s already been posting a wedding gift list all over social media as well.
Ignoring that her wedding isn’t even until March, all the gifts are ridiculously expensive. Designer clothes for her and future husband, high-end home appliances, I even saw, I kid you not, a $3,000 86-inch plasma TV on their wish list.
If you ask me, this is a whole other level of tacky.
When Kacy posted a GoFundMe page to help pay for their honeymoon. Everyone in the family has been talking about Kacy behind her back and saying they’re just not going to attend, even though they told Kacy they would, which is kind of harsh.
I called Kacy. I tried to be as nice as possible about it at first (is there a nice way to say ‘You’re being really tacky, stop it’?).
I told Kacy that her posts on social media and asking guests for money could be taken as insulting, and told her that she needs to think about these things otherwise she might drive people away.
Kacy got mad and went on and on about how she deserved to have her dream wedding and honeymoon and how she was not asking for much.
I didn’t have much patience and just flat-out told my sister that she was being ‘really tacky’ and that a lot of people won’t want to attend her wedding if she keeps acting entitled.
Kacy hung up the phone and blocked me on everything. One of our other siblings told me that she’s been making passive-aggressive posts that are obviously about me.
Our parents think I should’ve just kept it to myself and that I’ve caused drama for no reason since Kacy isn’t going to stop.”
10. AITJ For Telling My Friend The Truth Why She Didn't Get Selected For An Art Exhibit?
“I (25 F) do different art and have been doing so since I was a teenager. Sometimes I’ll submit paintings to exhibits in my local area. I’ve had some luck with some which is cool but since it can be such a gamble I don’t really try to participate in them.
My friend Keira (fake name – 25 F) got into art in 2020. She does digital art and now painting. There was a gallery having a call for artists in the next town over and Keira asked me if she should submit pieces or not.
I told her it was up to her but since it’s a new place there’d probably be a lot of entries and I told her to keep in mind digital art wasn’t a medium being accepted and that’s mostly what she does.
Artists were able to submit up to 5 pieces and she submitted 1. She didn’t get selected.
Our friend group was hanging out and Keira started talking about that art show and another one she heard about.
She was debating whether or not she was going to try when she went ‘If I was as privileged as OP I’d probably have more luck with getting my work out there.’
I asked her what she meant and she told me she was referring to my having better supplies, taking art classes, and having gotten into 2 shows in 10+ years. I told her that that isn’t a privilege because she can be doing the same and have the same, in fact, she did to a point because I gifted her some of my really good brushes and paints when she got started. She told me my art classes and special classes in high school were a privilege.
I told her ‘You could’ve gone to the specialized high school too, all you had to do was apply but you wanted to stay at the base high school with friends. I work two jobs so I can pay for art classes and my supplies – you stick to YouTube videos and paint a couple of times a week.
You’re trying to compete against people who live and breathe art. Privilege has nothing to do with you not getting selected.’
Keira got mad and left with some of our friends.
She and they’ve been saying I need to apologize to her and I shouldn’t have said anything to be considerate of her feelings. Other friends are on my side and say she may not have wanted to hear it but she needed to.
So I don’t know. AITJ because I told her the truth instead of just letting it go?”
9. AITJ For Helping With Setting Up My Classmates?
“Today in biology class we were supposed to have a test. The boys in our class made a plan that we all skip, all of the boys agreed but the girls thought we had no reason to skip it because the lesson is not difficult and we didn’t want to get in trouble.
The boys started saying how we are cowards and that we all are gonna fail because of us. They were already launching stuff at us, yelling at us to go make a sandwich, calling us names, etc. the whole day so there was no way we were gonna listen to them.
Then my good friend ‘Lisa’ made a plan. That we (girls) pretend to go to the park or something, hide in the library, and wait till all of them go then go back to the classroom.
Everything was going according to plan. The teacher noticed that there were just about 10 of us who already knew what was going on and didn’t give us a test since we chose to stay in class.
After the class, we saw the principal talking to the boys. They were mad at us but we didn’t feel bad, it was their idea and they were already humiliating us for the whole day so this was like a payback.
Later when I got home I told my dad (who was a math, physics, informatics, technique, and technology teacher) about the day and he called me a jerk. He said ‘I am against skipping class but what you have done is so rude I can’t even explain it.
When you arrange that all of you will be skipping then skip, you can’t change the plan. The rest of the class will hate you and you will be the one whose fault is it.
It is stupid that the boys from your class skipped an easy lesson but what you have done is so wrong’.
I tried to explain to him that they were trying to make us skip when we didn’t want to and have been calling us names, telling us to make a sandwich, and launching stuff at us but he won’t listen.
I do feel bad now that they are in trouble but we couldn’t just let them treat us that way.
AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Pushing My Daughter To Wear Her Dress?
“I (22 f) have a 4-year-old daughter named Sage that has very firmly rejected anything even remotely ‘girly’ since the second she could talk.
I was like that too as a kid, and even now the only time I’m ever in a dress and heels is when it’s for family pictures. My mom is insistent on us having a specific ‘look’ for our photos so I’m used to wearing stuff I don’t like for a picture session during every major holiday.
I hated it as a kid, and I still dislike it now as an adult but it’s something I’m willing to get over when I have to. Sage on the other hand, absolutely cannot be persuaded about it.
I’ve always taught her to be herself and to do what she likes as long as it’s not hurting anyone else, so now whenever I’ve asked her to put on the dresses Grandma picked out, she’ll turn it right back around and tell me that she can’t be herself in a dress.
She’s a very clever kid, and I’ve realized that I’m kind of going back on what I taught her by trying to make her wear what my mom wants her to wear.
This year for our holiday pictures, I asked Sage what she would want to wear. She said she wanted pants and a tie like the boys, and she wanted me to dress like her too.
I made sure it was all still within the color scheme of what everyone else had on, and that it fit the ‘vibe’ of the pictures.
When we got to the picture studio where the rest of the family was, my mom asked why Sage and I weren’t wearing the dresses.
I explained that Sage didn’t want to and that we found something that still matched the theme of the outfits anyway. My mom told me that the only way Sage and I were allowed to be in the pictures was if we were wearing dresses, and that I was being a pushover by letting my 4yo get her way that easily.
I told my mom that I’d be willing to put my dress on for the pictures, but Sage wouldn’t be wearing hers if she didn’t want to.
My mother said again that unless both of us were in dresses, then we weren’t getting photographed, so I said okay, and Sage and I left.
We ended up taking pictures together at home instead.
My mom called saying that my refusal to compromise and my sudden leaving ruined the holiday pictures for everyone else. She also said she wasted her money on the photos because she wanted some with the whole family, but now we’ll have to take different ones since my daughter and I aren’t in those.
I offered to send her the pictures that Sage and I took at home but she refused those and said that at this point I was just mocking her. She wants me to apologize now, and my dad is asking me to just apologize too because he doesn’t think it’s worth an argument.”
7. AITJ For Not Accepting My Coworker's Apology And Telling Him To Get Back To Work And Leave Me Alone?
“I have ADHD and Autism. I’ve been with my job for 12 years. In July 2021, the company hired four new people (Tom, Jaymie, Alana, and Deanna) to make the team that I work on.
Unfortunately, none of the new people on my team are very nice to me because I’m odd. The only person who is ever kind to me is the new manager of our team.
The new people started holding potluck meals. The first time I found out after the fact, while they were eating without me. I asked them to let me know next time and I would bake something.
The second time it happened, they said it was an oversight, oops. By the third time, I got the hint, I wasn’t welcome. I was hurt but let it go and did my job.
Our new manager asked why I never participate in the TEAM potluck. I told her the truth, I’m never invited, but she swore Alana texted me. I told her none of them ever contact me except for essentials by email only, and they make a point to avoid me.
When my manager confronted the group, they lied and swore they asked me but were unable to produce the promised text. My manager and boss decided to no longer permit potlucks on company property.
The next day, they cornered me in the break room when I went to eat lunch and began to shout at me for ruining their lunches.
I ended up having a meltdown.
I told them I didn’t ask our manager to do ANYTHING about it, that our manager said they called it a TEAM lunch, that I was part of the TEAM too and she was bothered that I was excluded and took it upon herself to do something about it.
I said that I knew I was weird and that was why they didn’t like me. I told them that I have ADHD and am autistic and I’m doing the best I can to fit in, but I’m not stupid, I know I’m ALWAYS being left out on purpose and lied to and about, and that it hurts to never feel like I fit in or matter to anyone.
By the end, I was sobbing myself sick and my mom had to pick me up early because I was panicking so badly. I found out later my coworkers were put on administrative leave without pay and forced to go to sensitivity training before they could come back to work.
A few days later, Tom approached me to apologize and said his nephew was autistic, too, and he should have realized and done better.
I asked him, ‘If someone treated your nephew the way you treated me, for over a YEAR, and only apologized after getting caught and punished for it, what would you tell your nephew to do?
Would you tell him to accept that apology?’
He quietly admitted he wouldn’t, that he’d tell his nephew to tell them to go screw themselves. I told him to go tell himself that, get back to work, and leave me alone.
No one else even tried after that.
My manager is now saying I overreacted and should just accept the apology and give them another chance to keep the peace. My job coach says I should apologize, too, but I really don’t want to.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Pointing Out That My Friend's Swimsuit Is Dirty?
“I (30 F) was watching my friend’s daughter, ‘Susie’ (10) for a few hours. I’m not a kid person. So I’m pretty insensitive to kid-based issues in general, to be fair. But Susie is a calm 10-year-old and her mother, ‘Carol’, was desperate.
Carol is aware I don’t care for kids. She also knows I get along with Susie well enough and I’d guard her daughter with my life regardless.
I ask Susie what she wants to do for 5 hours.
She wants to go to her friend’s house. So we got some fast food to eat on the way and go to her buddy’s house. We’ll call her buddy ‘Alley’ and her mom ‘Lori’.
We get there and I’m catching up with Lori. I’ve met her for lunch twice so we’re not really friends but she seems nice. I met Lori through Carol because they’re good friends.
The girls asked if they could go to the public pool. I’m fine with it, Lori is fine with it, I texted Carol and she was also fine with it. Lori says Alley has an extra bathing suit that might fit Susie.
I was handed the supposed swimsuit, which is velvet for some reason, and we start getting the girls ready for the pool.
Now I noticed the inner crotch lining was discolored on this suit.
I only noticed because I threw it on the counter and it landed where I could see it! I don’t mean menstrual b***d either, it was yellowed with debris. Not that that makes it less gross.
I asked Lori if she had an extra suit that was clean in a polite way. I assumed she just forgot it wasn’t washed. She looks at me weirdly and says no. I said ok well this one’s dirty so I’ll pick Susie one up at the store real quick and meet them at the pool.
Lori is now defensive like I have insulted her and her daughter by saying this swimsuit, which was actually a velvet leotard for Alley’s gymnastics class, is unwashed. She said word for word ‘What?
It’s just pee’. I didn’t know what to say at this point if a grown woman thinks I’m ok with risking Susie getting a yeast infection over this. I say it’s ok nicely as I can, and I’ll be at the store in 2 minutes and meet Susie in the changing rooms there.
It was no big deal at all. Which is what happened.
Lori was barely talking to me at the pool. She’s obviously insulted, but I know I can’t fix her perception of that being ok, so we just messed with our phones for most of the visit.
I drop off Susie and Carol says Lori texted her. She said would have let Susie wear the DITRY leotard, and Lori doesn’t have a lot of money and works a lot, so maybe she couldn’t wash it.
I made her and her daughter feel dirty… I think they’ve both lost their minds. I’m not a mom, but I think I’d be a slacking one if I risked my kid getting an infection over a pool trip.
I told Carol it was visibly crusty and all.
I don’t think I’ll be babysitting anymore. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Turning My Back On My Ex-Stepson Who's In Need Of Financial Help For Surgery?
“I (47 F) and my ex-husband Carlos were together for 16 years. He had a son before our marriage, Dylan (24 M).
We had three children (17 F, 17 F, and 15 M) together.
Carlos has always shared custody with his ex regarding Dylan and both have been very active in his life. Obviously, I never treated Dylan badly and I helped and raised him like he was my son too, but I always respected the boundary that I was just the stepmother.
We have a great relationship.
It is worth mentioning that 5 years ago, he had an accident and broke his femur, so his legs are different in size and he feels pain because of that (5 cm).
When we separated and signed the divorce (3 years ago), not two days later my father passed away and I received a huge inheritance, this was something that Carlos freaked out, as he claimed that he would also be entitled to it.
This created a lot of fighting and obviously, I didn’t give anything, but I bought a new house and left a fund for our three kids for college, what was left I saved for my retirement (I didn’t leave anything to Dylan about college because the parents already had done and when I asked he said he didn’t need it).
Having said all that, I learned these weeks that Dylan had finally been called in for surgery to put a prosthesis on his leg and would have to pay some costs that converting to dollars would be around 15k (this amount is gigantic in my country).
Yesterday, Carlos came to drop off our kids at home and I was surprised that Dylan was with him.
He said that his job was very complicated (autonomous) and that he and his ex would not be able to pay for the surgery.
Talk comes and talk goes, he asked if I could pay, remembered that I had offered years ago to help Dylan and that if he still didn’t want to, lend to them.
Keep in mind that this 15k constitutes 50% of one of my children’s funds. And the funds from my retirement I won’t/can’t touch.
I said I’m sorry but it was too high a value and that I could help with 2k, but 15k no and then I offered 3 years ago to help and he refused, so I made other plans with that money.
Dylan and Carlos got mad (more Carlos) and started screaming and I got mad, taking my offer of help and kicking them out of my house.
Since then, I’ve been getting messages from everyone (my family, his family, ex’s family), saying that I can help even more because it’s something about health and that Dylan felt so much pain that it was inhuman to turn my back on someone I helped to raise, that I have 90k saved for my children.
AITJ?”
If other family members don't like the fact you kicked them out, they can cough up funds to help out your ex stepson. Not your problem. Block those who harass you.
4. AITJ For Telling My Roommate's Partner That She's Wearing A Hair Extension?
“I (F 21) am currently renting with a roommate (F 20, Vicky). Unlike me, Vicky is pro makeup, takes good care of her appearance, and looks gorgeous all the time.
She lately started having her new significant other (M 24, Ryan) come over for dinner. Let me just say that Ryan is quite polite, respectable, and handsome. One important thing I learned about him is that he loves ‘natural beauty’ and he actually thinks that Vicky’s long hair is real. He praises it every time and she goes along with it by saying she was born with long hair and that she takes care of it with hair masks and treatments.
To be honest, this just didn’t sit well with me. Something felt wrong every time I hear Ryan say her hair was ‘naturally’ gorgeous. I told Vicky about it and she laughed it off.
2 nights ago, she invited him and a friend over and ordered pizza, and asked me to join so I could ‘meet’ his friend and possibly talk to him. I wasn’t up to it but was free anyway.
4 of us ate pizza and chattered and Vicky’s hair got brought up again. Ryan was praising it to his friend and talking about how naturally long and healthy it was. I waited til Vicky went into the kitchen and then told Ryan that actually, this wasn’t her real hair, this was a 600$ sew-in hair extension.
He looked at me baffled but we couldn’t continue talking cause Vicky came. Ryan looked visibly upset til the visit ended then left with his friend.
Vicky wondered why Ryan got so upset and started talking about whether the reason for that was her outfit, but later after he called her on the phone she knew why.
She came into my room and was going crazy screaming asking what I just did, I asked her to calm down but she cussed me out for ‘outing’ her to Ryan like that and said that I should NEVER have talked to him about something so personal. I said she shouldn’t have lied but she argued that she wasn’t lying but was waiting to tell him and besides, this is none of my concern.
Now he’s asking her for space and we both know what that meant. She went on about what a jealous, insecure jerk I was for doing this just cause I couldn’t stand her getting any attention.
Even said I had my eyes on Ryan but that is where I told her to stop, ’cause this outcome was expected since Ryan’s always expressed being into natural beauty while she’s the type that wears everything fake.
Fake nails, eyelashes, hair, etc. I said if she couldn’t change for him, then at least she should’ve been honest with him.
She rushed out of the room and we’ve both been on bad terms ever since.
Now I feel I might have messed up.”
3. AITJ For Not Caring About What My Wife Posts On Social Media?
“I (40) got with my wife (37) when she was 25 and I was 28. From the start, she told me she posted some quite revealing photos of herself on Twitter and had quite the following.
She admitted she did it for validation and an ego boost. Fine by me, I’m not the jealous type, they are only pictures who cares. I didn’t and still don’t have any social media so I don’t really know how it works but it wasn’t a money thing or anything like that she just liked the attention.
Around five years ago we went on holiday and she posted a couple of photos of us on the beach. She was sunbathing without clothes and in one of the photos we are hugging so you can see she had no clothes on but can only really see her breasts pressed against me and the second one was a selfie I took where we are both on loungers.
She’s on the one behind me and she’s got her arm over her breasts covering them with a drink in the other hand.
A few hours later I get a message from my friend with screenshots of probably 7 or 8 photos saying ‘Do you know xxx is posting these photos online?’ I said ‘Yeah so what?’ He replied saying ‘You’re making us look bad’ I sent back a ‘?’ And he never replied. I didn’t get what he meant and left it at that.
Cut to yesterday. We were at bbq and said friend’s wife asked me if I had heard from xxx recently. I said yeah I heard from her last night she’s in Vietnam at the minute.
My friend then piped up saying ‘Still being an attention s**g on Twitter I see’. I got a bit cross and his wife said ‘Don’t worry about him you just think differently he doesn’t like me wearing anything showy’.
I said ‘So that’s what that was about? I was making you look like a jealous controlling jerk’.
It all kicked off then and a couple of other friends backed him up saying it’s not normal, it made them look bad for not wanting their wives to get attention or comments and then one said the photos made his wife feel ugly.
I said none of that is any of my concern or problem and I can’t control what anyone posts on social media, or what people comment, and even less how posts make others feel.
I said their insecurities aren’t my problem and I won’t apologize or feel bad that something like that didn’t bother me.
They ended up leaving and my friend group is pretty split and the consensus seems to be while it’s not wrong it’s not normal and someone even said ‘Next partner you get, be a little bit more aware of what they post and how it impacts others relationships’.
So AITJ for not caring?”
2. AITJ For Being Mad At My Daughter For Not Joining Dinner?
“My family consists of me, my husband, my daughter (22 F), and my son (17 M). My daughter moved back home in 2020 as she was finishing her Master’s degree. She took a year out to work and is now doing a secondary degree.
I told her if she stayed at home and didn’t take out any loans we would help her through the degree. (We aren’t paying for it though, food/petrol/etc.)
On Thursday night we threw a pizza party for myself, my husband, our children, and their partners.
It went great and everyone got on well. On Friday night my family (me, my husband, daughter, and son) visited their grandparents for a family dinner.
On Saturday my husband and I returned from a shopping trip around lunchtime and told my daughter she needs to get ready for the pizza night.
She said she didn’t know we were having a pizza night on Saturday (I had invited over a group of old family friends) and that she had planned her weekend so she could do all her work Saturday, and go to visit her significant other for Sunday/Monday as it is Valentine’s Day.
I told her she could at the very least stay for the meal but she said no, it always ends up becoming a long meal and she’d have to wash her hair and do her make up which she was planning to do Sunday so she’d have clean hair and not need to wash it at her SO’s.
I told her if she was going to act like that I would cancel the whole thing. She said that was silly, she just didn’t want to participate as she had work to do.
It blew up between us as she said this was HER time to do as she pleased and I had just had a week of holiday, I complained about trying to do my best to please everyone and she said that’s nothing to do with her she didn’t ask or know about my dinner plans.
It escalated a bit and when her father (my husband) walked in I said our daughter was refusing to participate because she didn’t want pizza again (she’d said she doesn’t want pizza so soon after Thursday as well).
My daughter said ‘It’s not because she is making pizza it’s because I’m busy and I don’t want pizza either’ I exclaimed ‘She?! I am not SHE!’ and my daughter repeated what she said but called me ‘he’ instead.
I told her she was a bad person.
She did not join in pizza night, she was annoyed the guest stayed until 1 am as she wasn’t able to prepare her own dinner.
We haven’t talked since.
AITJ for calling her a bad person? I think she is ungrateful and should have just joined in but she doesn’t like people seeing her as a ‘mess’ and blowing up the situation.
All she had to do was join in dinner.
EDIT: About the bit regarding pronouns – I identify as female but it is rude to refer to someone as ‘she’ rather than their name/title if they are part of a discussion.
And she then repeated her phrase and used ‘he’ when I was upset by the use of ‘she’ which was obviously meant to upset me even more.”
1. AITJ For Going To My Son's Ex's Graduation?
“When my son was in middle school, he was best friends with a girl named S, who he started going out with right around when he started high school.
S had a poor relationship with her family and was such a sweet girl so I was more than happy to include her in all our family activities: vacations, dinners, etc.
Around Christmas of their senior year, my son told me that S’s parents were kicking her out shortly after she graduates and wanted to know if she could stay with us the next semester starts when she could find a place to stay near campus, and I of course agreed. However when the day came when she was supposed to move out, but my son told me they are no longer together, and he is seeing another girl in their friend group (who was S’s best friend).
I asked him if S had a place to stay, and he said it was ‘no longer his responsibility’. He described S as ‘needy’ and thought being with her was ‘just a lot of work’.
I told him we need to make sure she has a place to stay, but he refused, so I told him I would with or without him. So long story short, he decided to stay with his father all summer, because she had nowhere to stay and he didn’t want to be around her.
Well all that was four to five years ago, but all that time I’ve kept in contact with S and tried to be there when she needed me. Well, she was graduating (and had no one to show up for it), so I of course accepted when she asked me to attend her graduation.
However, when my son later brought up his graduation I found out it was on the same day.
I explained that I wouldn’t be attending because S had no one else showing up to her graduation.
He didn’t know I was in contact with S and I think that just added to how upset he was. I tried to explain, he would have his dad, step-mom, aunt, step-siblings, and 2 sets of grandparents show up, and should try and picture things from her perspective.
I couldn’t get him to understand, even though I had also already promised to take him to dinner where ever he wanted (with as many other relatives as he wanted to attend) the day after.
Even though that was a while ago, he still hasn’t forgiven me. I’ve tried talking to him, but our relationship has never been the same. AITJ?”
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