People Ask For Enlightenment About Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Excluding My Grandchildren's Half-Siblings From Our Special Trip?
“I lost my only son 11 years ago. He had two children at the time who were 3 and 4 years old. My grandchildren’s mother quickly moved on and attempted to cut contact with my husband and me.
We went to court and were awarded grandparents visitation rights, which the kids’ mother and her husband were very unhappy about. Immediately upon the start of our court-ordered time with our grandchildren, their mother insisted we include her husband’s two children of the same age.
We did not. It has been a constant source of tension between us. But her stepchildren are not part of our family. I do not see them as anything but a stranger’s children. We feel the same about the other children she has biologically.
They are not our family. Our two grandchildren are.
We are allowed to take the children for a week in the summer every year for vacation time. This year we took them on a very fun trip to a more advanced water park they had always wanted to go to, and then we brought them to our old home, which is where we raised their dad.
It was a lovely trip. Very meaningful. The kids had fun.
When we all got back complaints came from the kids’ mom and her husband that we took them on such an extravagant trip and didn’t attempt to include the other children.
My older grandchild mentioned tension in the home after their return and said that the half-siblings were upset to have missed out on something fun.
I do acknowledge these are children so I wanted to see if people believe my husband and I are wrong in the dispute.
I will also add for anyone who feels it relevant, we are in no way involved in the lives of the other children. We do not include them in our family nor do we buy them anything for any occasion.
Our grandchildren have never expressed a desire to include them with us either.”
36. AITJ For "Helping" My Friend Fat-Shame My Significant Other?
“My significant other and I have been together for a few months and for a double date we went with my friend and his gf to go rock climbing. I don’t know the first thing about rock climbing so he did all the rope work and taught us to belay.
It was pretty thrilling and my SO was a little scared but enjoying it. He climbed up bringing the rope up, set anchors and we just top roped.
We hiked to another part of this canyon and he said this was the place he and his SO simulrappelled (not sure if that’s how you spell it).
He said it was amazing but dangerous and was explaining the rope set up to do it. He joked it was the climber’s version of a couple’s trust fall. My SO asked if we could do it since there was still some time left and he said it was dangerous and that it needed to be done with 2 people.
My SO looked at me and I said I was down for anything. The friend looked uncomfortable and told her any weight difference over about 50 lbs between the 2 people isn’t a good idea and ideally the weights are as close as possible since we would essentially be balancing each other.
He said there were safer techniques but simul is just faster. My friend and his SO are skinny skinny people, as is basically everyone we’ve seen climbing that day. I’m a bigger dude at ~220-230 lbs and I don’t know my SO’s weight but it’s not a bad guess that she’s more than 50 lbs than me.
My friend is a total adrenaline junkie and I think if he says it’s dangerous it’s best not to do it. My SO looked really unhappy but didn’t say anything. She is insecure about her weight and during intimate times, she doesn’t like me touching her belly, arms, and legs.
On the drive home, my SO was ranting about what a jerk my friend was I got annoyed that she was badmouthing him because he was nice enough to let us use his gear and show us the ropes haha.
I told her he is the expert and she complained he was just eyeballing her weight. I asked if she would be ok with standing on scales with me to confirm we were less than a 50-lb difference. She got really mad and said it doesn’t matter if there was a 50-lb difference he was judging her for her weight and I didn’t come to her defense.
I was pretty annoyed and told her I wasn’t coming for my friend who was only looking out for our safety. She called it fat shaming and I guess it was to an extent but he’s also not wrong.”
35. AITJ For Excluding My Dad's Wife From Dress Shopping With My Sister And Grandma?
“My mom died when I was 4 weeks old leaving my dad to raise me and my three siblings himself. Dad chose to stay single and had zero interest in seeing other women until we were all fully moved out of his house.
That happened when I was 19 and decided to move in with some friends for my second year of community college. Dad met Sarah who was a widow also. Both consider their first spouses their true spouses but found companionship in each other and don’t mind living in the shadow of their late spouses.
They both plan to be buried with their first spouses and not each other. Their assets and everything are separate.
It all works except for one thing. Sarah never had children. She wanted them. But she and her husband were left unable to have them.
And she married a guy with four (adult) kids. She thought she hit the jackpot. She has been weirdly pushy and has inserted herself in a way that makes us uncomfortable. We expressed this. Dad told her to back off.
But she keeps pushing. My sister was pregnant when she and dad were newlyweds and asked to attend the birth of my niece. She asked to be granted the title of grandma. A lot of stuff that was just a lot.
I’m engaged and found my dress three weeks ago. I brought my sister and grandma. Sarah was so upset and angry to have been left out. She told me as mother of the bride she should have been there, to help guide me and be there for that special moment.
I was frustrated with her being mad. But I can see so much pain and hurt in her. She’s desperate to be a mother. To be accepted by my siblings and me. But she will never be my mother. And I don’t love her.
Yet I do feel kinda bad for her pain.
AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Not Wanting To Have Anything To Do With My Mother?
“My (25 f) brother (22 M) recently got engaged over the summer to his wonderful fiancé (25 F). The whole family was super excited until… my brother asked me to reunite with my mom before his engagement party.
For context, I have been in no contact with my incredibly abusive and toxic mom for over a year.
I have really high anxiety and talked it through with my therapist for months before I made the choice and honestly, life couldn’t be more calm and relaxed. I have no plans to reconnect at all. I’ve told my brother all of this along with explaining to him why I am choosing not to have a relationship with my mom.
He does not see my mother this way as he is the golden child upon which the sun rises and sets.
Onto the story. My brother and his fiancé have asked that I meet with my mom before the engagement party, which has yet to be planned, for a wedding in 2024.
They feel that tensions will be high and have stated ‘I could do everything perfectly and there will still be tension because mom will cry and make a big deal of it’. So I stated that I didn’t see how my mom’s feelings were my problem and that I wasn’t going to say or do anything at the wedding other than wave and remind my mother to focus on the wedding.
I then said I couldn’t meet with my mom and wouldn’t do it. My brother said he’s only asking for one thing and I should just do it and if I couldn’t then they needed to make changes to the guest list… we tried to talk it out more so he could understand my point of view but it only made things worse.
It now sounds like my dad won’t be invited too because he has my back on us making healthy life choices to not see my mom.
An extra added detail that’s just the cherry on top is that the fiancé’s mom has stated she will not be working with her step-mom under any circumstances and that has been accepted by the group.
So AITJ for not seeing my mom before my brother’s engagement party/wedding which is 2 years away?”
33. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be Partnered With My Ex At Her Brother's Wedding?
“So not my biological brother, but might as well be. I (26 M) and Jay (21 M) have known each other basically our whole lives.
He is the little brother of my ex Bre (25 F). Our situation is kinda complex. Me and Bre/Jay’s parents are best friends. I mean like we’d see them 2 or 3 times a week. We lived in the same cul de sac.
We went on vacations together, ate dinner together. So I and Bre started going out at 14. Obviously, the families loved it and we dated all the way till 23 when we broke up. This was due to Bre wanting some space to make sure we were really meant to be together.
I ended up moving to a city a couple of hours away to get away from everything. I don’t know what happened to Bre as I blocked her on everything. My mom would try to fill me in but I’d tell her not to.
Whenever I came home bres mom would tell me how much she missed me and how Bre had been asking questions about what I was up to. I always was respectful but reminded her that her daughter was the one who asked for the space, which her mom always seems to dismiss.
I and Jay however have always remained close. I came home for his engagement party. Both families were there, as was Bre. I said hello to everyone and congratulated Jay. He pulled me aside and told me he wanted me to be a groomsman.
Of course, I agreed. This was a few months ago.
So obviously Jay’s wedding is a huge deal for both families. My dad is officiating, my mom is helping plan, and I and Bre are both in it. I’ve been trying to be understanding but I’m at my wit’s end.
I had to endure remarks from jays fam about how ‘we always thought Jay would be a groomsman at your wedding first’. Jay’s mom has me running errands and keeps urging me to bring Bre along. Both sets of parents think it’s fine and I’ve had to endure 2 shopping trips already in almost dead silence with Bre.
I found out last week that I’m paired up with Bre for the wedding. I went to Jay and said that I didn’t like that. I wanted some space from her and just wanted to celebrate him. He said that he wanted it that way.
As did his mom and Bre. I said I wasn’t cool with it. And if he didn’t switch me, I wouldn’t be showing up. Jay almost broke into tears.
Both families are aware now. And think I’m being a ‘petty jerk’ about everything.
And am making the wedding about me and my issues. I said that it isn’t a big deal to just switch me to someone else for the night. And I’m tired of all the games. I left the area for a reason.
AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Not Being Happy About My Cousin's Pregnancy?
“My cousin is 10 years older than me and has always been a problem. We do not have ever had a real relationship due to this.
Cousin is 44 and a life-long addict. She has never had a job and has continually stolen money from her mother/siblings to survive.
A family member called me yesterday and told me that Cousin had given birth. The baby was 3 lbs, despite being full term, and was born with major genetic defects – the baby is not expected to live through the week.
Cousin did the hard stuff throughout pregnancy, did not go to ANY OBGYN appointments, and ‘morally refused’ to terminate the pregnancy. The baby had to be air-lifted to a different hospital and she refuses to go see the baby. She also refused to go to the hospital a few years ago as her father was dying.
Cousin already has a child. He’s 14 and she never enrolled him in school. He doesn’t read or write. CPS finally was able to remove him and place him in foster care.
Her long-time partner passed away from substance misuse a year ago – she apparently wasn’t there when it happened – and the whole situation of his death does not add up.
You’ll never convince me she wasn’t with him when he passed and just left him there.
Anyway, here’s where I may be the jerk. With all this in the back of my head already, when I was told about the baby, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, ‘I wish she’d just die already.’ I know you should never wish death upon anyone and it came from a very bitter and emotional place as I am struggling with fertility and hearing that just sent me over the edge.
My family member told me I was basically a jerk and need to have some empathy. If she was only hurting herself, fine, do whatever you want, but at this point, she has ruined so many lives with her selfishness – it’s unimaginable – the damage one person has caused.
So, I’m coming to you for judgment – was my comment too far?”
31. AITJ For Giving The New-Hire A Ride?
“Today my work hired a new employee who unfortunately is in-between cars. I didn’t speak to her much besides saying hello and letting her know that management is super nice here.
However, on my way out the door, I ran into her. She told me she forgot her airpods in her locker on the other side of the site and asked if there was any way to get other there besides waiting for security to escort her.
I said ‘Yeah there’s a second entrance closer to the lockers on the opposite side of the site. I’m about to head home, would you like a ride over there?’ She said, ‘Yes, please’. For reference, it’s like a 10-minute walk plus you have to wait for security to unlock a door for you.
So we hop in my car and she compliments me ‘Oh a Mustang, it’s nice.’ ‘Thanks’.
Then we don’t speak for the rest of the 45-second car ride. I drop her off at the other entrance and as she’s getting out I ask if her ride is picking her up here or going to the other entrance.
She says to the other entrance but that she’ll walk back. No difference to me. I say, “Have a good day, see you tomorrow’ and she says, ‘Ok, bye’. Then I leave. I kinda thought it was weird she was so quiet but also it didn’t seem like a big deal to me.
So I get home after performing my daily good deed and start relaxing with a snack when I get a call from her boss. Her boss says that I shouldn’t have given her a ride because it was creepy for a guy like me to give her a ride in my car.
She goes on to explain that because I am an existing employee I hold ‘perceived authority’ over her and that she couldn’t actually consent because of that. Naturally, I’m mad, confused, and actually a little bit scared hearing all this.
I was mostly responding to her statements with ‘uh-huh’ and ‘mhmm’s but I did ask her if the new employee told her I was acting unprofessionally. She said, ‘That doesn’t matter’ and that I better not cause any more problems. Then we hang up.
So I’m thinking to myself, ‘What?! New employee’s opinion matters’. In fact, I’m starting to think a new employee’s opinion is the only one that matters. I do suspect something isn’t right here because as of now there hasn’t been any official documentation of this (that I know of).
I think it’s strange I got a phone call instead of an email. I also think it’s strange I haven’t heard from HR.
In fact, I think the whole situation is strange. I really don’t think I acted like a creep.
I didn’t stare at her or try to hold her hand in the car. I didn’t unzip my fly or hump my steering wheel. I behaved like a normal human person.
However, I do kinda understand the whole ‘perceived authority’ argument, because I do feel like I’m above the new employee.
I know on paper we’re equals but I don’t feel like we are. I’m better.
Still, she could’ve said she didn’t want a ride. I didn’t force her into doing something she didn’t want to. Or did I unconsciously? Did I take advantage of my seniority?”
30. AITJ For My Dog's Aggressiveness Toward My Friend And Her Visitor?
“I have a 3-year-old rescue dog. She’s wonderful but since adopting her she has exhibited pretty bad separation anxiety if she’s not with someone she knows, so I’m very careful with leaving her alone too long and have been crate training.
She’s not been aggressive at all since I’ve had her and is very sweet, but gets nervous. She is about 30 lbs.
My friend Mel volunteered to watch my dog while I was away for a weekend because she’s in my neighborhood, and was really excited about it.
I told Mel about the anxiety and I introduced them and made sure they were cool with each other. We spent an evening together a week before the trip with no issues.
The first day I was gone, Mel left for several hours and crated the dog, but she was mostly fine.
The next night, I get a call from Mel saying her friend came over and my dog suddenly got aggressive so she put her in the crate in the dark in another room. I didn’t know what happened so I said if she was getting barky to take her outside for a minute or just tell her firmly to ‘stop’ because that’s the command she knows.
I called later and my dog was still crated. Mel explained when my dog started barking at her friend, she tried to pick her up and force her to face a different direction and my dog bit her. My dog has never bitten anyone before.
I apologized profusely but was also worried about my dog.
Mel was in the room with the crate and interacted with my dog just fine, so it’s clear to me the friend was the trigger. Mel said she felt uncomfortable sleeping with the dog there even though it hadn’t been a problem before.
I kept asking what had happened and turns out this isn’t the friend she’d mentioned earlier, but a guy she wanted to hook up with and barely knew. She ignored my questions about whether he was staying over.
I couldn’t do anything about it so I asked her to take the dog outside and she’d settle down but I did not want the crate used as punishment.
The next day when I picked her up I asked about the guy again (he stayed over).
Mel said it didn’t make any sense because she randomly got upset with him after he’d already been there a while. I apologized again but said I was frustrated because my dog has never been aggressive and when she’s upset there are warning signs (backing up, pancaking on the floor).
Mel blamed my dog but kept saying she ‘wasn’t mad at me,’ but I told her my issue was not that I thought she was mad, it was that guy triggered her and I wish he had gone home since you were responsible for my dog, and now she’s probably set back in her crate training because Mel couldn’t spend one night without having a guy over.
Now Mel IS mad. My partner is on my side because Mel volunteered for this, and brought over a strange guy without telling us. Our friend thinks I’m a jerk. I know that a dog bite is a BIG DEAL and I feel terrible.
I care about the friendship a lot so I just want to know if I’m a jerk so I can fix things.
EDIT FOR INFO: I’m not opposed to hiring a sitter, but can’t board right now due to the anxiety.
Mel volunteered before I’d even brought it up. I gave her the option of my house or hers and she chose hers, which is two blocks from mine and we have each others’ keys. I brought the crate and everything the dog would need over there because she told me she’d be home the whole time just working.
She did know about the issue with new people and that’s why I had them meet prior. My apologies if this changes a judgment, because yeah, in general, I’d say she can have whoever she wants in her own home but I thought we were clear on this boundary.
Didn’t mean to confuse!
Also, I did not explicitly tell her the guy needed to leave. I asked if he was staying over or leaving and she ignored the question so I didn’t know what else to say.
That’s on me for freezing probably out of my own anxiety.”
29. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Cousin Study Abroad?
“I (24 F) am in my first year of law school. I recently started working at a corporate law firm which pays me very well. I live with my brother (26 M) who works as an accountant at an accounting firm, we both moved to the states after high school and we live together.
Neither of us is married or has kids so we both live comfortably. I’m south Asian and my aunts and uncles who live back home have been struggling financially for as long as I can remember. My family lived in a different country and we were way well off as compared to them, so we were always kinda lending them money, which we had no problem with.
My cousin’s sister (18 F) just graduated high school and I’ve been very close to her since we were kids. Her mother used to talk about sending her abroad to live with my brother and me which we never had a problem with, until yesterday.
She said that they started looking at unis which were all way out of their budget and could not afford to send her abroad. My brother and I told her that was unfortunate and that she can always do her undergrad within her country and work a part-time job and go for her postgrad in the states.
My aunt said no and she said she wanted my brother and I to pay her tuition or at least 60% of it. Both of us were shocked at her expecting this from us and my brother immediately told her ‘God no.’
I started explaining to her how we both need to save up for our futures as basic commodities such as healthcare are quite expensive here, but she refused saying that we should stop being selfish and that the money we earn could buy 2 houses in the country with the money we both earn in a year.
My brother yelled at her saying that the cost of living is much higher here than it is there. She then hung up on us and proceeded to tell the whole family, and now my brother and I are being called selfish spoilt brats.
AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Being Angry At My Mom For Telling People That I Got $1000?
“During Sunday morning, whilst riding my bike, I (14 M) got hit by a car. The guy took me to the hospital and got me checked. Thankfully everything was fine and my dad (48 m) came, the guy told my father that he will visit us on Friday to check on me.
Fast forward to Friday night, the guy comes, hands me an envelope (which I still didn’t know what was inside till I opened it after he left) brought me a wooden box full of expensive sweets (local shop). When he left, I opened the envelope in my room so that my parents won’t see it all and take it from me.
Inside the envelope, was 1k. Obviously, I freaked out because in local currency it’s about 4 months of minimum wage.
I told my dad it was a small amount, then when my dad went inside I told my mom (40 f) the full amount.
After that, I left with my dad to the barber.
Only to find out that my mom found where I hid the envelope and held it hostage, saying that she will take 800, and give me only 200$. After a lot of begging and crying because I felt like she took advantage of how I got hit by a car for money, she only took 100 and said when I return, I’ll get the other 900.
Now, to the main part, I asked her if she told anyone about the money, via text, and she said yes, she told my grandma, I obviously got mad because her family are Fairweather people, and got mad that she told my grandma, but I told myself to not worry about it.
The next day, I woke up to half her family messaging me and acting friendly as such, with instant replies when I send something before they would never talk to me out of the blue like that. My uncle who messaged me started saying that I should buy a PS5 with my money (he’ll take the PS5 for himself to play FIFA….) and my aunt nicknamed me 1000.
When my mom returned from work, I shouted at my mom for telling everyone and she was laughing, which obviously made me get madder, it got pretty heated to the point where she started saying I hope all of your money gets lost.
She told everyone about the money once I left without my permission, I told her how would you feel if I told my friends that you have money laying around, and once again, she started laughing.
AITJ for arguing with my mom about the money?”
27. AITJ For Telling My Son I Am Not His Sister's Dad?
“I have a 9-year-old son with my ex. She had a lot of affairs while we were together. We actually broke up for a short time before getting back together when I found out she believed I might not be our son’s biological father.
It hurt me that she kept it from me, even after we found out via DNA that I was his bio father, it still hurt, but she apologized a lot and I wanted to try and be a family for our son’s sake.
Then I found out when she was expecting her second child that she lied to me, repeatedly, and lied so much that she actually gave me an STD. I broke up with her for good that time and when her daughter was born I paid for a DNA test which confirmed I was not the father.
It was easier because we were not married so I was not put on the birth certificate or anything.
Six months later I learned the bio father did not want to be part of his daughter’s life.
This is when the requests started. Ex asked me to raise her daughter as my own.
I said no. She then led her daughter to believe I could be her dad, and last year she asked me several times if I would be her daddy too. Ex and I fought about it every time. I asked her to put a stop to it.
She told me I would just have to face the reality of rejecting a child because she wasn’t going to do anything.
My son asked me at one point if I was going to be his sister’s dad too, since she didn’t have one.
I took him to a therapist who helped me to explain to him that I was not and in the long term it was better that way, without going into inappropriate explanations and so I had backup in explaining this.
My son got it. He said it made sense to him.
Ex has been so much worse lately. She’s fallen out with her closest friends and now she’s on he own. Her family was never a big part of her life (she comes from dysfunction) and so he daughter has nobody else except her and my son.
Her daughter has become more and more upset when she sees me and my son has said she asks to come with him when he comes home to me (his mom and I share custody).
Ex has started getting really angry over text and DM saying I am a crappy person and a crappy dad if I can’t love my kid’s flesh and b***d sibling enough to be there for her.
She has also accused me of weaponizing our son because he has been telling her it’s not my job to be his sister’s dad. I don’t really trust what she says ever but I guess I do feel some guilt for not being any part of the kid’s life.
Even though I know I would never be able to love her and I have never actually wanted to be in her life. I am kind when I am around her but she reminds me every day of what my ex did and how much I hate my ex for how she treated me and destroyed everything.
I am aware of her innocence (the child) but it doesn’t take away how I feel. And I know she would never feel loved by me either.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Letting My Son Prepare His Food?
“My son is 14 and he is in three athletic activities (thank God at least one of them doesn’t run in the summer). He eats like a vacuum. I’m in charge of all the cooking (my husband the washing up) in the house.
I provide three squares, but if my son wants to eat outside of that, he needs to make it himself. He’s fine with this and even goes grocery shopping with me to pick out his own ingredients.
Now, I make healthy meals for the kids.
Last night’s dinner was baked chicken, squash, and whole-grain rice. Right before bed, son wants to eat again, so he went into the kitchen and made half a box (so about 8-10 oz) of dried pasta, which, once cooked, is a TON of pasta.
He drowned it in olive oil and red wine vinegar and mixed it in salt, black pepper, and garlic powder. Then he poured half a jar of olives on top. So just carbs, fat, and salt basically.
My husband came downstairs, saw what he was eating, and got upset.
He said, ‘Christ (son), eat a vegetable!’
Son got defensive and said olives are vegetables. My husband said they aren’t real vegetables. They were getting heated so I stepped in and said he had a healthy meal earlier and will burn it all off at practice tomorrow anyway.
My husband turned on me and said ‘This is your fault. If you weren’t too lazy to make the kid a snack he wouldn’t be eating that crap. He’s going to have a heart attack at forty.’ Then he stormed off.
My husband’s comments hurt my feelings. What’s worse, my sister agrees with him. She said I could have made him a salad and it wouldn’t have taken long. I just really don’t think it’s that bad because he eats healthy three times a day, and he burns off all the carbs and fat at practice.
I know that was a lot of salt though… AITJ? Am I just justifying because I’m lazy?”
25. AITJ For Refusing To Take My Brother's Significant Other's Kids On A Day Out?
“My (22 F) brother Ted (32 M) has been going out with this girl Opal (30 F) for about six months now.
Ted has a daughter from a previous relationship named Jasmine (12 F). Opal has three children from a previous relationship Frank (1 M), Leah (4 F), and Stacy (8 F).
Jasmine recently had a birthday and I made plans to take her out to the mall so she could choose what she wanted for a late birthday gift. When I arrived at my brother’s house, Opal answered the door and seemed very happy.
Opal: It’ll be SO nice to be kids-free today. We really needed this!
I figured her sister was taking the other kids so I came inside and waited for Jasmine to get ready.
A little back story on Opal, nobody in the family likes her.
She is an addict and she is controlling, my niece Jasmine doesn’t even like her, and I haven’t spoken to Opal or her children since the day she called me the B word for calling her out over transphobic comments she had made.
Which was about 2 months into their relationship.
Well, Jasmine came down the stairs with Opal’s children bounding behind her. Jasmine looked uncomfortable.
Opal began to tell me about her children’s allergies and what time she would be expecting them back.
I was surprised by this as I made no mention of taking her children anywhere and I told her as much. This led to an argument. (I’ll spare the bickering and get down to the main bits)
Opal: My children are just as much your nieces and nephew as Jasmine is.
Me: You aren’t married to my brother, they are not related to me whatsoever. I don’t even know your children, and even if I did, this is a special trip for Jasmine’s birthday.
Opal: Why can’t you make it a special day for all of them?
Jasmine wants her siblings to come, don’t you Jasmine?
Jasmine shook her head and told me she would wait outside.
Opal made a big scene about how she was going to call my brother and have him deal with me.
All my brother did was ask me to give in to her as he knew she wouldn’t stop. Well, I set my foot down and told him absolutely not.
Now, I have all kinds of texts from Opal, Opal’s family, and a few of my own family stating I’m a jerk and that her children have nothing to do with the beef I have with her.
I’m starting to feel bad because they are just little kids and they don’t have anything to do with what their mother does, but on the other hand, I feel like if Jasmine was uncomfortable and I was uncomfortable with it, then it was fine?”
24. AITJ For Leaving My Significant Other With My Relatives At My Brother's Wedding?
“My brother married last weekend. He and his (now) wife chose to only invite friends and their parents and siblings. The venue was a 4-hour drive for me and my significant other.
It was a very remote rented house with no near town or village.
My SO isn’t really good at making new friends or small talk. We were about 40 people and stayed from Friday till Sunday. I sensed my SO did not have a good time because she didn’t warm up with the people there.
She only knew my brother, his wife, and my parents. I knew some of the people beforehand. I had a blast with all the guests. We played beach volleyball, had picnics and a nearby lake among other things. I tried to include my SO as much as possible, but she mostly refused to take part.
At some point after the actual wedding (Saturday early afternoon) she went to our room in the house. I stayed with the other guests outside and had a blast. When dinner time came around I went looking for my SO.
She was still in our room and was super mad. She said she hated it here and wanted to go home. I said we couldn’t because we had one guest drive with us back to the city we live. That was arranged for weeks and we were the only people to come close to his hometown.
I said it would be a really jerk move to leave him hanging. We then went to dinner in a bitter mood.
From then on my SO was somewhat rude to all the people around her, except my parents. I was quite embarrassed and told her that I feel sorry that she can’t enjoy the wedding and the guests, but that I want to enjoy the whole weekend.
It’s my only brother. This is a unique event (I told her that in private). She stormed off.
From that point forward we didn’t talk at all until late in the night when I went to bed. She said in the jerk because I trapped her there by refusing to leave early.
I think I wouldn’t have left the event early even if we didn’t have a guest ride with us back in the car. I’m sad she had a bad time there and I think I tried to include her as much as possible, but maybe I should have left early.
So am I the jerk?”
23. AITJ For Posting A Picture Of My Stitches?
“So I (25 F) had a major accident last year with my motorbike where 2 verticals were shattered. I got 10 titanium screws in my spine and had to relearn a lot throughout the pain. My ex-partner was there for me and my family wasn’t.
4 days ago the screws were removed and I’m back home on bed rest. My ex obviously isn’t here for me but a few friends are and my dad helped me for 2 days when he could after I specifically asked him.
My sister (30 F) was here yesterday and she didn’t care much (ate chips and left dishes I can’t clean myself at the moment).
Today I was able to go outside for a small walk with a friend. He took a picture of me walking where you can see some of my stitches.
He posted it with ‘so happy she can walk again!’ And I reposted it on my story.
My sister private messaged me: ‘Your stitches are so gross. Too much information. I don’t need to see this crap. Sure you’ll get enough likes for this.’ I said ‘I’m not doing it for the likes I’m giving my friends an update I can walk again’.
She answered ‘Too much information. Attention seeker’.
I was upset. I felt not supported and just a hateful comment about my stitches just after surgery. Also that it is for attention.
I commented, ‘Well for the next time can you save your negative comments for yourself, I don’t need this negativity right now and I find those comments to just be hateful.’
She flipped and told me I’m the most insecure person she knows and she was just being honest and I make her insecure sometimes too.
This evening was my dad’s retirement party. My family scolded me for posting such a picture and blaming me for being hateful to my sister when she was just being honest and I can’t just take a comment.
I’m doubting whether I’m the jerk or not.”
22. AITJ For Prohibiting My One Aunt From Seeing My Baby?
“For my (20 f) entire pregnancy my aunt A (43 f) would make snide comments toward me and my fiancé (22 m) about how we ‘aren’t fit to be parents’ with our ‘outrageous lifestyle’.
We live in a camper on my mom and stepdad’s property that is our temporary home and it’s fully furnished with a working kitchen and bathroom (we’re also a little bit on the hippie side of life).
She would say she was surprised that my fiancé managed to get me pregnant since he isn’t ‘very much of a man’ (we share clothes). She would also make fun of my weight gain saying she could barely see my belly with all the fat (I’m a pretty small woman I think) and that eating for two isn’t meant to be taken seriously.
I tried to be kind to her in the beginning months of pregnancy because she had suffered through two miscarriages before I got pregnant. My fiancé has never been open about her being hurtful toward me and wouldn’t let me write it off as her being upset over losing her babies.
I needed to set clear boundaries so I did, and told her she couldn’t see the baby without my permission.
My aunt also has a history of breaking boundaries and calling cps on family members because they don’t have the same ideals that she does.
Well, I just had a baby a month ago and finally felt well enough to visit family. I have a rough relationship with my bio dad’s side of the family and I’m truly only close with my grandparents and siblings.
So this past Sunday I decided I was going to take my baby to my grandparents’ house so they could meet their great grand baby.
I had informed my grandma that I didn’t want to see Aunt A and she obliged, only telling a few closer relatives that I was bringing the baby over (Aunt C and her children) in an attempt to keep it a secret from Aunt A.
We had a great time and took many pictures with my family and baby.
Here’s where things get bad, my grandma had posted a picture on social media of her holding the baby (she had full permission) and my aunt A had seen it despite not using social media for years and within the hour had showed up at my grandma’s house wanting to see baby.
I told her that she could leave and that just because she was family she does not have the right to see my baby since she had been so disrespectful toward me and my fiancé. My cousin and my fiancé immediately put themselves between her and me to try and talk her down from her rage and I could remove myself and baby from the room.
My fiancé managed to get my aunt A and her children out of the house so we could leave. I got a text from one of my older cousins who was on my side during the fight saying that I should have just let Aunt A see the baby so the afternoon didn’t get ruined. So AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Wanting My Senior Mom To Help Take Care Of My Baby?
“I (29 f) asked my mom to help me take care of my newborn so I could go back to work once my leave is up.
Mind you, my mom is 64, has been a homemaker/stay-at-home mom since 1992, and hasn’t been part of the workforce since then. She refused, saying she was too old and that she already raised her kids. She also added that if I really wanted this baby, then maybe I should have thought about staying home like she did to take care of it while my partner goes to work and provides for us like a ‘traditional’ family, and that if she and my dad were able to work it out, so can we.
However, we are just coming out of a global crisis, going into a possible recession, there and there is no way I and my partner can make it financially on one income. I make $55k/yr but have $39k in student loans + $20k in other debt (credit card, car loan, medical debt on credit).
My partner makes about $36k/yr and has $5k in credit card debt. I as the higher breadwinner, have an internal obligation to go back to work since not only do I have the most at stake, but I also make the most to keep our family afloat.
We are currently in a small, 1-bedroom apartment in a metropolitan area, and would need to save up to move to a 2-bedroom once the baby grows up in a couple of years as we will need more space.
When I explained all the above to my mom, she then proceeded to say that she will charge me $20/hr for each hour she takes care of the baby, plus late fees if we are late for pickup, and must provide her with a car seat, stroller, bottles, and pretty much double of everything we have at our home to compensate for taking the baby to her house.
She will not step foot in my house for her own personal reasons (she’s come in once, and I’ve lived with my partner for 5 years; she’s a 15min drive away).
I want to save up to bring down our debt, and don’t want to pay her as much nor invest as much in double everything as it will spiral into more debt for me and my partner.
I’m on the fence about enrolling my baby into an infant daycare instead as the cost will overall be lower and a little closer to our home. Due to our jobs, we cannot work from home so we are in desperate need of childcare.
Everyone else in our family works full time so they cannot help us as they have a similar 9-5 schedule.
So, am I the jerk for wanting my mom, who again is at home all day long (trust me, she does not do anything besides watch TV and cook meals), to take care of my baby for free while I and my partner try to fix our finances?”
20. AITJ For Being Angry At My Fiancé For Giving His Mother Our Wedding Coordinator's Number?
“My fiance (Edgar) is my FMIL’s (future mother-in-law) only son. She is so attached to him and is excited about our wedding. We have had a relatively long engagement and we’re finally getting married soon.
I’ve been trying to keep her involved as much as possible but she just kept getting further with her expectations.
She’d email me lists of questions about 5 or 6 times a week. She’d ask me the same questions over and over, expecting a different answer.
When she doesn’t get a different answer, my future FIL will call me and start pushing the same thing.
It’s made me anxious and stressed out, Edgar says that she just wants to make sure the wedding is ‘flawless’ and felt like some of the choices I made during wedding planning are… poor
She went to our former wedding coordinator and bombarded her with 10s of questions and even called her many times trying to change things we’ve already picked saying all choices made were based on 0 experience and wrong, she even pretended to be me at some point.
This caused a huge fight between us and I ended up starting all over with a new wedding coordinator and completely getting FMIL out of the wedding planning process, FMIL lashed out at me for it and Edgar said that I was being too hard on his mom.
Last week I found out that he went against my wishes and gave his mom our wedding coordinator contact info and his mom ended up finding out about all our plans. I blew up at him and told him he violated my boundaries and betrayed my trust. He said it was no big deal and that his mom genuinely means no harm even if she and I don’t agree most of the time.
We had an argument and I went to stay with my dad for a few days. Edgar kept texting saying I was overreacting and that I was being too hard on him and his mom.
Am I overreacting?
Note: She isn’t contributing anything to the wedding except her ‘input and experience’.
My dad is the one paying for the wedding. He never tried to give an opinion or suggest anything regarding the wedding. he just told me to have the wedding as I had always envisioned it.”
19. AITJ For Giving My Kids' Dog To My In-Laws?
“I don’t like animals in general. In fact, they freak me out, but this has nothing to do with that.
Due to my dislike of animals, I was against the idea of getting a dog but my wife and my sons (14 and 10) really wanted a dog. My wife said that this will teach the kids responsibility and stuff. Eventually, I caved in and agreed to get the dog.
The agreement was that the three of them would be solely responsible for the dog and I would just pay for the expenses.
We’ve had the dog for 5 months and I started noticing things. The kids aren’t playing with the dog other than on weekends and even then, for an hour or two.
When I ask about the last time they took the dog for a walk, silence. My wife keeps making excuses that they are new dog owners and kids, so mistakes are to be expected to which I counter that she isn’t picking up their slack either.
Then I started noticing that the dog is eating a lot during dinner time, and we have a lot of dog food left. I also saw that he’s been chewing on things more often. I found out that he’s not been getting lunch and gets breakfast irregularly.
This really infuriated me. Despite my aversion to him, he is still a living being and I have a healthy respect for animals.
Since one of the arguments my wife said was that the kids will understand what it’s like to be a parent and how it will teach them to be responsible for another life, I acted like CPS and gave the dog to my in-laws who love him.
My wife and kids are now furious at me and demand I get the dog back, but I am ready to die on this hill. I’ve given my kids 3 months to show me they have what it takes to be responsible for the dog.
They’ve already failed a few times in the first 2 weeks. My wife and a lot of people think I’m being far too harsh, and this is cruel to take the kids’ dog away. I disagree but the fact that my wife has been sleeping in a different room and my kids not talking to me has been affecting me.
They think I am making excuses to get rid of the dog and if there was a problem I should’ve just helped out. So AITJ?
Edit: I should add some context regarding my wife. Growing up she learned responsibility by taking care of her first dog with MIL and FIL who are avid animal lovers.
She wanted to recreate that special moment with our sons, but our sons aren’t her. I understand her feeling like I’m robbing her of this bonding time, but I can’t ignore or wait for my kids to step up. The dog needed help, so I took them to her parents.”
18. AITJ For Telling My Fiancé I Won't Be Marrying Him If He Doesn't Kick Out Her "Best Man" From Our Wedding?
“My fiancé and I are set to be married at the end of this year. For our wedding, he decided his best friend, Kelly who is female to be his ‘best man’.
They go way back and have been friends since they were teens. I’ve always been a little weary of her but my fiancé says that they’ve always been platonic and nothing more. She often calls him up for advice and uses him for validation by asking him if he thinks she’s pretty and way more.
He does the same to her. When I bring it up he just tells me that they’re close and trauma bonded from some pretty awful stuff happening to them both. I can get behind that but I wish he’d come to me more for these things too.
The other night, Kelly came over to our place, and she and my fiancé were having drinks and watching a movie. Our kitchen is open plan, so when I walked in to grab a snack I overheard them both talk about how they’ve seen each other without clothes through pictures and videos they’ve sent to each other and laugh about it.
I immediately cut in and things ended up getting pretty heated. My fiancé and I fought while Kelly tried to calm me down by saying that if they wanted to be together she would’ve made a move already, and how this was ages ago and that it was a joke when they sent these things.
I wasn’t having any of it. I told Kelly to leave and my fiancé and I argued about it more. I ended up staying at my best friend’s place that night.
The next morning I called my fiancé up and asked him what else they had done and he told me that she called him once (before we were together) to ask him his opinion on her lingerie.
He said that it was completely platonic. After he told me this, I said that if he didn’t kick Kelly from the wedding I would not be marrying him. He reluctantly agreed but has been bitter with me since. I haven’t heard from Kelly either.
I thought I was doing the right thing but now I kinda feel like a jerk for not letting his best friend attend our wedding.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Embarrassing My Brother-In-Law In Front Of Everyone, Including His In-Laws?
“I (16 F) live with my parents.
My sister (22 F) and my BIL (23 M) are also living with my parents, due to various financial problems and they could no longer live alone (there was a spare room at home).
They help financially in The house.
My BIL has a habit… disgusting, I would say. He eats with his mouth open (looking like a cow) and talks with his mouth full. And no, not any health problems or anything else, it’s just a quirk of his.
I have a hearing problem and even so, I can hear and bother myself, so imagine who has a better hearing this noise.
This noise bothers me a lot, visually too, so I told my parents that I would eat in my room or eat before, so I wouldn’t have to have dinner at the same table as him because it really is very uncomfortable.
They’ve been living here for 2 months and I haven’t eaten at the same table with him, my parents and my sister for a week. My parents understood.
Yesterday, I arrived at dinner time and my parents invited me to dinner.
I picked up my plate and was heading toward my room until my BIL was fed up.
Him: ‘Eat with us, your parents made dinner and it’s disrespectful to eat in the room while everyone else eats at the table’.
Me: ‘I prefer not to eat and you are not one of my parents’.
Him: ‘If I were your parents, I would feel very disrespected’.
I had my limit and I said ‘I’m eating in my room because I can’t stand you and your habit of eating with your mouth open or talking with your mouth full because it’s disgusting’.
He was super embarrassed and I saw my sister extremely angry. I took the hint and went to my room.
He and I aren’t talking, but he’s demanding that I apologize for embarrassing him in front of everyone and his in-laws.
And he dared to say that it has to be respected as a party that pays for things in the house right, while I depend on my parents.
My parents are on my side that he has really crossed a line, but they want peace in their house and have asked me to apologize.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Wanting My Son's Significant Other To Give Him Some Space?
“I (32 F) have a teenager (16 M) named ‘Dan’. He’s a very thoughtful, caring young man whom I couldn’t be more proud of.
About 7 months ago, Dan started going out with ‘Kelly’ (17 F).
Kelly was nice initially but, a few months into their relationship, she told Dan he is not allowed to use his phone or computer when she was around. Every time Dan tries to hang out with friends with or without her, she throws a fit and says he’s not ‘making her a priority’.
Kelly has stated her mother and stepdad are mean to her so she frequently stays at our house. 2 months ago, Dan approached his dad and me asking if she could move in with us, and we said no. Regardless, she’s here nearly every day and I feel like this relationship is becoming toxic but Dan is too polite to say anything.
I hardly see Dan anymore other than in passing in the hallway or occasionally in the kitchen, otherwise, he and Kelly stay in his room. Prior to meeting Kelly, Dan regularly spent time out with friends, played in his band, or talked with friends over Discord.
On one of the few days Kelly wasn’t around, I pulled Dan aside and asked if he was ok, Dan said he was fine but I didn’t buy it. I expressed my concerns and he admitted he missed his friends and such, I suggested he write his thoughts and feelings down and gently talk to Kelly about it.
He tried, she threw a fit and they got into a verbal argument. Kelly stormed out and slammed the door but she was back less than 24 hours later.
Since then she’s appeared to become completely glued to Dan, following him everywhere and I put my foot down.
I told Kelly she could come over every other weekend and that was it, I went on to explain everyone in a relationship needs alone time including Dan. She’s furious and I can tell Dan is upset, I feel bad and am wondering if I’m being a jerk for getting involved.
There’s a lot more to the story but that’s the biggest issue at hand.”
15. AITJ For Selling My Furniture And Appliances?
“I need to break my current lease about 3 months early. My roommate has known about this for 5-6 months, as my fiancé and I need to move to a new state.
When my fiancé and I started planning this, I told my roommate immediately, giving him about 5-6 months of notice. He asked what I planned on doing with all the items I brought in, I informed him that I planned on selling them, this includes the washer and dryer (our unit didn’t come with any), dining room table, 2 couches, a recliner, TV, tv stand, and media shelf.
He had asked if I could leave some of the stuff with him, I offered to sell them to him, but he protested saying that isn’t fair. I bought these items myself, not asking for any money from my past or current roommates to split them.
Fast forward to now, I posted everything up for sale, and items are gaining traction and selling quickly. The first things to go were the washer and dryer. When my roommate saw they were gone he got upset again, asking ‘What am I supposed to do?’ I told him he could buy the other items if he would like, and reminded him I told him I was going to sell everything when the move came closer.
He again thinks I should just leave them for free.
A new layer is that his mom has messaged me on social media asking what I’m doing and asking if I can leave stuff for him. Keep in mind my roommate is a 27-year-old man.
I was polite and told her that I gave her son about 5-6 months of notice and that prior to my move my intention was to sell everything I brought in, but I did give him first bids privileges, which he denied.
AITJ for selling shared items my roommate and I use, but I own?”
14. AITJ For Being Upset That My Friend Used My Deceased Child's Name For Her Daughter?
“I have 4 children, with my youngest Luli having passed away 3 years ago at 2 years old.
One of my close friends since high school ‘Jane’ was Lulis’s godmother, although she wasn’t heavily involved in our lives as she was a chronic traveler.
Last month, Jane had her first child. They kept the gender a secret but Jane and I talked everything about babies together as I’m her closest friend who has children, including names.
When we talked about baby names, Jane said she wasn’t going to do middle names for her kids as she found them pretentious. During this time, Jane asked if I would be her kid’s godmother, and I said yes. When her baby was born, her partner sent me a text letting me know they were both healthy and the baby was a girl.
The next day, Jane posted a ‘baby reveal’ on social media and revealed the name of her baby, whose middle name was Luli. I was obviously in shock as Jane had never mentioned giving her daughter a middle name, let alone the same name as my kid.
Then on Instagram, she posted the typical baby reveal photo holding her baby’s hand with the caption ‘Luli’ with a white heart. This was honestly too much for me so I turned off my phone.
Nearly two weeks later, Jane reached out to my husband and asked if I was alright as she wasn’t able to get in touch with me and asked me to come by and meet her daughter.
I almost didn’t but decided that maybe there was some explanation and agreed to come over. When Jane asked if I wanted to come over, she asked if I wanted to come over ‘to meet Luli’.
We made small talk and when she put down her daughter for a nap, I brought it up and asked why her daughter’s middle name is Luli.
Jane told me she loved the name Luli since I’d used it, and since she was Luli’s godmother, she used it as her daughter’s middle name to honor my daughter. I asked why she didn’t tell me she was planning on honoring my daughter, and that I was blindsided finding out via social media.
She told me she had just given birth and was recovering from the experience (which I 100% understand), but when I asked if she had decided to honor my daughter before or after she’d given birth, she asked me to leave.
A few days later she called and talked to me about her daughter’s upcoming christening and our role as godparents. I cut her off and told her that I was sorry but I wasn’t able to be her kid’s godmother.
She didn’t take this well and claimed that she was allowed to honor my daughter as she was her godmother, I can’t ‘hog her grief’, and that I can’t prevent everyone from using the name Luli just because my dead daughter had the same name.
So I’m here for an outsider’s POV. I obviously can’t claim the name Luli nor do I want to micromanage how someone else grieves. I’m definitely not looking at this from an unbiased perspective and if I’m overreacting or being irrational overing this, I want to change that.
AITJ?
Also, I’ve been in therapy since Luli was sick so I don’t need that recommendation – I’m already on it.
Edit – The whole time I was over there, they only referred to her as Luli. I felt awful because they were obviously so excited about having their first kid and rightfully fawning over her and I wanted to feel happy for them, but it felt awful hearing ‘Luli looks like she needs a nap’, ‘Aw look how cute little Luli looks’ etc. From what I’ve seen in person and also online from their families, it definitely seems that while it’s her middle name, it’s intended to be the name she goes by.
Jane’s mother and close relatives all call her Luli on social media.
13. AITJ For Helping My Daughter With Her First Menstruation?
“I (36 M) have a 13-year-old daughter whom I have been extremely close to her entire life. When she was first born, I was the one who stayed at home because her mother was anxious to get back to work not even a week after she was born.
We spent every moment together that we can when I’m not working and always going out for our adventures walking on bike tracks, going for ice cream, etc. My wife, on the other hand, is ‘always too tired to spend time with her’ (This has been an excuse every day since she was born) and has hardly ever spent any time with her.
Well recently she started her first menstrual cycle and instead of going to her mother (who was home at the time), she came to me. I showed her how to use a pad, gave her some, and offered to go shopping for some the next day.
She seemed happy enough and went on her way.
Her mother asked me what that was all about and I told her that my daughter had her first cycle and wanted to know how to use products. Well, my wife is now furious with me.
She’s saying that ‘a mother’s job, and she should have asked her instead of me’ and not talking to me. I said if she felt comfortable talking to you, she would have asked you, but you’re never around and never spend any time with her, and she responded that she’s busy working.
I said I am too, but I always have time. She said she doesn’t and doesn’t always want to spend time with a child and would rather spend time with adults and have drinks and have a conservation with them rather than childish conservations.
I told her that was why she felt comfortable asking me and not her, and now she’s accusing me of inappropriate behavior toward her. AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Refusing To Adjust My Outfit And Style For My Friend?
“My friend Anna and I (both 22 F) have been best friends for years.
My friend Anna likes to kickbox, lift, and hike. She has developed muscles and a sweet face. Her personal style is laid-back and tomboyish.
I, on the other hand, don’t really enjoy working out as much, have a curvier body, and like to dress very feminine.
I wear skirts, makeup, and milkmaid dresses, and I rarely wear leggings or workout clothes. It’s just what I feel comfortable in, and I don’t feel pretty if ‘I’m not dressed up’.
The problem is Liam (21 M).
She’s been with Liam for a couple of months, and she was always gushing about him. He’s really sweet, thoughtful, etc. However, when we finally got the chance to hang out together, he was very vocal about his type.
He told Anna and me that he likes girls who are ultra-feminine, wear dresses, and wear makeup. The whole time I was sitting there like ??? Is this Nate from Euphoria? But I dismissed it. Anna was visibly bothered by it but didn’t say much.
A couple of days ago, we all hung out again with a larger group, and Liam made more comments. He mentioned not liking girls who are bulky and lifted because he doesn’t find it feminine, and prefers to ‘have something to hold onto’.
As we drank more, he was getting more wasted and bolder, he told me that I have a ‘body like a Renaissance painting’. Then, he asked me if I and another friend, L, who dresses similarly to me, could take Anna out on a shopping trip to make her more feminine, and if I could teach her to make the braids I had on my hair, and he reached over and caressed my hair.
I was uncomfortable, made an excuse, and left with L.
Later on, Anna FaceTimed me, visibly wasted, and asked me if I could do her a big favor. She essentially wants me to not wear dresses or skirts, not wear makeup or do my hair around Liam because Liam admitted to her that I was ‘his exact type’.
I got offended because I wouldn’t dress down for my own significant other, so why should I dress down for yours? She got angry and told me that I don’t love her and that all she wants is to be happy with him.
We cussed each other out, and I told her that if her grimy partner is trying to get with me, then obviously he was not the one, especially if he was trying to change every single thing that makes her ‘Anna’.
I hung up and haven’t heard from her until tonight, and she wants to talk about Liam.”
11. AITJ For Laughing At My Wife For Taking Photos While Cleaning The House?
“I (36 m) work full-time and my wife (27 f) stays at home. We’ve been married for five years. I have a good job so I’m happy to support her. We do not have children.
My wife is something of a slob.
I know this isn’t the nicest thing to say about your partner, but she would happily step over a pile of clothes in our living room for a month before actually folding them. During the daytime, she doesn’t really cook, clean, or do any housework at all.
She loves browsing the internet and watching Netflix, but beyond her interests, she can rarely gather up the energy to do much at all. To be honest, before marriage when I lived alone, my house was much cleaner than it is now.
The bizarre thing about this situation is that she’s INCREDIBLY sensitive about the fact that she doesn’t really do much all day and denies it whenever it’s brought up. I do my own laundry, prepare my own lunches, and often times cook dinner.
She might do the dishes in the evening or she’ll leave them for the next day.
A few days ago, I got really tired of it because a pile of her stuff that I didn’t know where to put away had been sitting in our living room for over a week.
I told her that she really needs to get it together and learn how to clean, even a little, every day. She fired back that she’s not a maid, to which I responded was clear because if she went to someone’s house, laid on their sofa, and watched Netflix for six hours, she would have been fired on her first day.
The next day after I got home from work, my wife and I were still kind of in a Cold War. She suddenly approached me and showed me pictures she took of herself cleaning during the day, repeating ‘See? This is what I do during the day.’ I couldn’t help myself and began laughing at how ridiculous it was, then said having a fake photoshoot like an Instagrammer didn’t mean she was doing a good job around the house.
She says I crossed the line. Now she’s sulking in her room. I feel like she’s trying to emotionally manipulate me, but I could have pushed it too far.”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Apologize To My Husband's Aunt After I Blew Up At Her?
“I (27 f) and my husband (23 m) got married two years ago.
I generally get along with his family pretty well and he tries to get along with my family.
My family is not super close. We were upper class. My siblings are ten years plus older than me and my parents raised me by handing me a credit card and letting me loose.
My parents divorced when I was in high school and they got better after that and we actually formed a relationship. I love my parents but it is like I’m an only child with siblings. I have no attachment to my siblings at all.
We get together every Christmas and maybe Thanksgiving. That’s the most I see my family.
My husband’s family is the exact opposite they are super close. He was raised where his family gets together for everything. Extended family. Grandparents, great-aunts and uncles, all of their kids, and so on.
Every minor holiday. Every birthday. Everything. It was a big shock going in.
It took about a year of being in a relationship before I got comfortable around his family. One of his cousins said I came off stuck up because I ‘wore nice clothes and didn’t talk much.’ But once I got comfortable I opened up and joined conversations and I blended in fairly well.
My husband and I have had trouble with pregnancy. We have had one ectopic pregnancy that made me lose a Fallopian Tube and we have had 5 miscarriages all in the last 3 years. One was a 2nd-trimester miscarriage. So we had already announced and had to explain to everyone we lost the baby.
We have been pretty open with our struggles.
His extended family constantly asks if we’re going to try again or when we are going to have kids. And I always politely say we’re trying but I’m sick of it.
I’ve talked to my MIL and husband (both of whom are great) and they said they would talk to them and get them to stop.
Here’s where I might be the jerk. At a family dinner last week.
I was sitting around with all of his aunts and female cousins and they were just gossiping and chatting. When his great-aunt looked at me and asked when we plan on ‘adding more babies to the family.’ And I looked her dead in the eye and said ‘When my uterus decides to stop ejecting them prematurely.’
She looked at me stunned and I stood up and walked out of the room. I had a few people come up to me and tell me I was rude and that was uncalled for. That she’s older (60-something) and she just doesn’t know any better.
I don’t think what I said was wrong and don’t want to apologize. I mean I could have worded it better but if they want to get into the business I feel is personal then why not give them the whole truth?
So should I apologize? AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother To Come Out At My Wedding?
“I (24 M) know but we just don’t want that kind of drama at our wedding. My brother (27 M) told me over 3 months ago that he’s gay.
And he’s had a partner for 2 months. Which is fine, I’ve met his partner. He’s nice. No one in my family knows except me and my fiancée. Our wedding is coming up soon in a few weeks.
For a while, he’s been telling me he wants to come out to our wedding and introduce everyone to his partner. He already knows half our relatives that are gonna be there are old and have negative thoughts about the LGBT.
My parents are more neutral they’ve never had anything good or bad to say.
But when it’s your own kid coming out things could go really good or really bad and we don’t want all that going down on our wedding day.
My brother keeps saying it’s not fair since it’s a day celebrating love he’s allowed to celebrate his too. And I said uh no it’s a day celebrating OUR love because it’s our wedding. Also, I thought it was weird he kept talking about bringing his partner because literally, no one is getting a plus one.
It’s for family/friends only (anyone who got an invitation). So another thing he got mad at me over. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal for him to wait until after the wedding or do it before if it’s so important to him.
I told him he could just call up everyone to have a sit-down and tell them.
My brother keeps saying I ‘don’t get it’ and if he doesn’t have my support in him doing this then I’m the jerk.
We got into a fight. Then for the past 2 weeks, he’s had a new attitude about not needing my permission to tell the family something important so that’s what I told him he won’t be invited to our wedding at all if he even thinks about doing this behind our back when we said no. Now he’s even angrier, he’s accusing me of not truly accepting him just because I won’t let him do this at my wedding, and excluding him from it entirely just because he’s gay is cold and heartless of me.
It became a bigger drama already and the wedding hasn’t even happened yet but I get he’s my brother. I don’t know why it has to be at my wedding though. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Reporting A Daycare Worker To The Director?
“So my eight-month-old baby goes to daycare four days a week. Before all the anti-daycare parents come, this is my only form of childcare. Anyways I love the center it’s very clean and well taken care of. There’s an app where you get hourly updates that have never gone missed and you can request to see cameras whenever you want.
The center is very highly rated and has a long waiting list.
I like the girls that work there, but there’s one particular girl that I just don’t really like. I didn’t care about her until one day when I was speaking to the director, I could see her holding my daughter and kissing all over her face.
Yes, my daughter was smiling and looked happy but I was disgusted. There’s a global crisis and I just felt it was too far. I brought it up to the director and she turned around shocked and said she would talk to the worker.
I didn’t think it would be much of an issue moving forward.
But since I saw that I noticed she seems obsessed with my baby. She’s always holding her and cuddling her. I went back and looked through all the pictures they send and realized she’s literally in almost every single one.
Mind you there are five teachers in the room and lots of babies. I was picking up my daughter a few weeks ago and she wasn’t there. I was speaking to another worker in the room and asked her who’s my daughter’s favorite.
She told me it was the girl and that my baby is her favorite and ‘her baby’ and no one else can hold her except for the girl. It was an older woman saying this with a smile but I was just more creeped out.
What sent me over the edge was when I was picking up my daughter last week who was asleep on the worker’s lap when I walked in and as she handed her to me, she kissed my daughter on the forehead and said she was gonna miss her so much.
She literally looked sad. Mind you there’s like a dozen other babies in the room too. I went out to the director and told her my concerns and that I felt uncomfortable with the worker with my daughter. I didn’t understand the specific fixation.
I recommended she get switched to another room because I didn’t want her around my daughter.
To my surprise when I was dropping off my daughter this morning the director called me into her office and let me know she ended up letting go of the girl.
I felt justified until I told the story to my SIL, my brother’s wife. She actually got upset and said she worked in daycare throughout college that it’s normal to have a favorite baby and that she herself had a baby she loved in her center.
She said I’m a jerk and that I overreacted and I shouldn’t have complained about something so dumb to a director since if they don’t fire her it’ll look bad on the company based on the type of report I made.
And that I should be grateful someone really loves my daughter. Am I really the jerk?”
7. AITJ For Preferring Men's Fragrances Over Feminine Stuff?
“I (23 F) live with my roommate, ‘Sue’ (24 F).
As background, although I identify as a cis woman I strongly prefer men’s or unisex bath products and fragrances. I have this preference for a few reasons – first, I just don’t really like smelling like a flower garden or fruit salad all day, and I find men’s (or some unisex) scented products to smell more fresh/clean (like clean laundry) than anything.
I don’t douse myself in anything too strong but will use such products in the shower as well as a spritz on a little cologne afterward or in the morning.
Sue recently got a new partner, ‘Jake’ (about 25 M). They have been going on dates and she has spent the night at his place several times but last night he spent the night at our place for the first time (which is fine, we don’t have any restrictions on the other having overnight guests as long as everyone is respectful about noise).
However, this morning I woke up to yelling, and when I came out to see what was going on I saw Jake storming out. Apparently Jake saw men’s products in the shower, as well as smelled a trace of men’s cologne, and accused Sue of having an affair and seeing other guys.
Sue apparently tried to explain they were my products, and he sort of accepted this explanation but said either the products go or he does because it’s ‘too confusing to walk into my partner’s apartment and smell a man.’
So Sue wants me to get rid of all the scented products that I keep in my own home to keep Jake happy. She says if I don’t want to use feminine stuff I can just get unscented products. I refused, saying that barring allergies I should be able to use the scents I like in the home I pay for (we split the rent 50/50).
Sue cried and said I don’t care about her and her relationship, that she hasn’t had a partner in a couple of years, and that it shouldn’t be a big deal for me to switch out the scents to avoid making Jake upset.
I responded that both she and Jake are being unreasonable here, Jake for flipping out and being demanding about a new girl’s apartment, and Sue for demanding that I change a lifestyle thing that hasn’t previously been an issue just because her partner says so.
So, AITJ for not wanting to accommodate my roommate’s partner’s insecurities by not using/wearing my preferred scents? I should add that Sue and I are cordial enough as roommates (aside from this incident) but we aren’t friends who hang out socially.”
6. AITJ For Leaving My Friend To Go To My Late Brother's Grave?
“I (17 F) go bowling frequently with my two friends (both 17 F) who I’ll call Jessica and Amy.
I have known them for 10 years and we are all very close. When I was 9 my brother (14) died unexpectedly from substance misuse.
They were there for it and knew him and how close we were.
So, this weekend we all decided to go bowling. I drive them every time and Amy occasionally pays me gas money. We went to my brother’s birthday so I wanted to leave earlier than usual to go visit my brother’s grave with my family.
I told them this beforehand and they both agreed.
We got there and played for around 2 hours til my mom texted me letting me know they were going soon to his grave. I told Jessica and Amy we should start getting ready to leave.
Amy immediately started but Jessica retaliated and told me we haven’t even been there that long. I told her my mom texted me and I don’t want to miss going to the grave with them. She then says ‘I don’t care about your addict brother, it was his own fault, and I and Amy wanna stay.
It caught me and Amy off guard. I didn’t know what to say so I just grabbed my things and told Amy to follow me. We got to my car and I broke down. Amy consoled me and offered to drive so I let her.
We left Jessica there, she didn’t bother to follow us out. I went to my brother’s grave with my family as planned, and Amy came as well.
I am still disgusted and shocked at what Jessica said about my brother and don’t think our friendship can be repaired, but she has been contacting me saying I need to pay for the Uber she had to get since I ‘stranded’ her.
Her other friends have also been reaching out saying I need to repay her. I don’t know what to do and don’t know if I’m in the wrong. Help?”
5. AITJ For Accepting A Job Offer From A Competitor?
“I (24) have received an offer from a competitor giving me almost double the amount in terms of payment.
At first, I was wowed and excited to see the possibilities that this kind of amount would bring me.
I have accepted the offer and told my current employer about it last night. I work in a small company, everyone is friends with everyone, we all got our backs, etc. I was hired during my last semester in college and I have learned so much from these guys whom I’ll always be thankful for.
The problem is, it’s really hard to find people who do what we do. We tried hiring and training a lot of people but they are either too lazy to learn or always try to work as little as possible.
On top of that, it takes roughly 6 months before an employee with no experience starts contributing.
Currently, my employer has only two people he can trust fully when taking up projects. A colleague of mine and myself. The other guys in the firm are still in their training period and can’t lead projects by themselves.
I love working here, I like the chance that was given to me and I’m grateful for it, but the pay is not great and there’s a lot of work I have to put in to get it.
When I told my employer about it last night, I saw him almost crying, almost begging me to stay and trying to tell me how he wants me to stay.
He then told me that he would rather get a loan to make me stay, otherwise, the company might go bankrupt. He was really desperate and I have never seen him like that.
I don’t know what to do. I feel extremely guilty and selfish for wanting to leave and I know that there may be a chance for the next job to suck, but it’s double the money.”
4. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Join Me In Praying?
“I am a Christian (f 27) while my husband (m 29) is an Atheist (previous Christian). We have a daughter (f 5) who is being raised ‘moderately’ Christian (my husband’s words). She has been baptized and we plan on following through with the other sacraments and attending church on specific times such as Christmas, Easter, etc. I am allowed to attend by myself on Sundays or for church functions, but can’t bring our daughter with me.
He doesn’t want to ‘force’ it onto her so that she can choose her beliefs when she’s older.
Yesterday, I received news that a close family friend was in the hospital with pneumonia. This friend is 72 and high risk, especially with the world as it is.
I made my daughter a snack before going into another room and began a prayer for our family friend. My daughter walks in halfway and asks what I was doing. I explained how someone was sick and I was asking God to look after them and praying for them.
My daughter asked if she could join in, so we repeated the prayer together.
The rest of the day went by, and during dinner when my husband asked our daughter what we did together, she told him we prayed. I could immediately tell he was furious, but he held it in until our daughter had gone to bed. When I tried to explain, he told me we had agreed to not force religion on her, and that religion was something both parents had to agree on.
I asked him what I was supposed to do, and he told me I should’ve distracted her before going into another room and locking the door so she wouldn’t witness that. I told him that was ridiculous and people often pray regardless of the religion in situations like these, but he told me it wasn’t my decision to make.
Edit for context: My husband left the church in 2020, this wasn’t something I saw coming, and have tried to adapt to the best I could.”
3. AITJ For Not Wanting My Husband's Dog In Our New Place?
“My husband of 8 years desperately wanted a dog and refused to wait until we bought our own home. He ended up getting a dog despite me saying no. I wasn’t sure of our apartment’s pet policy so I told him he needed to call and ask them.
He claimed he did but I found out months later that we have a strict no dogs allowed policy here. We end up getting evicted.
At this point, he has had this dog for over a year and I admittedly had been telling him to rehome the dog the entire time for other reasons.
I certainly was not anywhere close to being ready for a dog on top of living in a tiny apartment with 3 children as it was. His reasoning for going against me was that the dog was free (his mother gave him the dog) and due to the breed usually being super expensive, he couldn’t pass it up (which is 100% the truth, no doubt).
Anyways, we got evicted. Not due to the animal (he hid the dog) but due to them raising our rent by $600 over the past year and being unable to afford it.
So anyways, we are back to house searching again.
We have only 14 days left before we need to vacate the premises. Our landlord has been super nice during this and says they won’t put the eviction on our record because we were otherwise good tenants and she understands time is hard enough without an eviction on our record.
So we’ve been searching high and low but every single place that is available currently either has strict no-pets OR is way too high priced for us. The only ones we can afford are the ones that say no pets.
I was asked by a landlord yesterday for a down payment on a 3 bedroom, $800 cheaper than we are paying currently, and with school starting in a week, I need to jump on this now. We have gotten no other offers.
My husband wants to lie and say we don’t have a dog. I refuse to do this. I’m not getting evicted over an animal that we should have waited to get in the first place. I told him he can’t move in with me unless he gets rid of the dog or sends it off with a family member until we buy a house.
He is now trying to convince me to just move in with his family, which I won’t do. He says I’m being insensitive and am not empathetic to his love for this dog. This isn’t true but I also have to worry about my kids and their stability versus putting my husband and his animal first. AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Not Adjusting My Wedding Date For My Sister's Kids' Play?
“When picking our venue, we narrowed down our wedding dates to 3 possible weekends. It’s a destination wedding out of state (a 7-hour drive) from home. We were 13 months out from the possible wedding & I asked my 2 sisters if any of the dates wouldn’t work for them.
My sister said she would prefer not to do it on the same weekend as her own wedding anniversary but the other 2 dates would work. I shared the 2 dates with my fiancés family and the other 12 people in our bridal party & everyone said that they would make both dates work.
We picked our date 12 months out from the wedding and began booking the vendors. I mentioned to our parents and grandparents the date we picked but unless someone asked the date we haven’t really brought it up. We have saved the dates going out this week at the 10-month mark.
I sent my sisters some possible dates for the wedding dress shopping and one sister asked about the date of the wedding. I told her and she said her kids have community play scheduled on that date with their home school group and it’s an important part of their curriculum.
She also said they didn’t have the date of the play back in March when I asked and now they are committed and start practice in August. Her kids are supposed to be in my wedding but I am so hurt that she would even suggest that she won’t be at the wedding because of a school play.
She said I never confirmed a date with her so she put it out of her mind. She never asked the date and now she said it’s a really sad situation for everyone and hope it works out. She will only attend if we move our date or if the director agrees to move the play.
(My mom made her ask the director, she didn’t want to). AITJ for scheduling around the 2 dates she picked and not being flexible to move my date and lose my vendor deposits?”
1. AITJ For Being Upset That My Sister Didn't Ask Me To Be A Bridesmaid?
“My sister (27 f) is getting married in October. She and I (25 f) were really close. So close, she moved out to the state I was living. Shortly after moving, my sister’s first husband had an affair and divorced her, leaving her and her two sons with nothing.
My sister got a job that had working nights and asked me to watch her sons from 2 PM-12 AM, with pay. I agreed. Well, as soon as I started watching her kids, she wasn’t coming home until 2-3 AM, and ‘couldn’t afford’ to pay me.
I watched her kids for as long as I could without complaint because I loved the boys and wanted to be the only stable adult in their life, as their father became a heavy drinker, and their mom was never home (or was bringing different men around them every week) eventually, after 11 months of this, she ended up moving an hour away for a job with better hours.
Finally, my sister meets her now-fiancé last summer, and they quickly got engaged, I was happy for her! My sister’s fiancé will often ask me to watch her kids AND his two kids, for free. I love the kids and enjoy spending time with them so I do it, for them.
Now to the bridesmaid debacle;
When my sister got engaged, I asked her if she was going to have bridesmaids, she said no and I was fine with it. Well, come to find out, she IS going to have bridesmaids, and one of them is her fiancé’s sister (someone she has known for less than a year) and had planned to keep this a secret and only have me find out the day of her wedding.
I was upset because she lied about it & it is upsetting knowing that for 3 years I have been breaking my back to take care of her and her boys. What REALLY upset me was her reasons why she didn’t pick me.
Her reasons were 1. because of my toxic relationship, which ended 4 months ago, she ‘didn’t want the drama of it’ & 2. ‘(fiancé’s) sister and he are so close and I wanted to incorporate her in our wedding to show appreciation!’
I find her first reason to be the most malicious, as I and my ex have not spoken since the breakup. To use that as an excuse is unforgivable, in my opinion, as I supported her and never judged her during her first marriage and divorce.
I was clearly upset, and I got out of her car and walked 35 min to my car, and drove the hour home.
My sister then called me and yelled at me for making her kids ‘upset’ by leaving. I calmly told her ‘You and your kids are no longer my problem.’ And I informed her that I will not be attending her wedding.
She then responded by calling me a ‘dramatic jerk’ and said that if I want to ‘hold a grudge and not come to the wedding then fine, it’s only going to hurt the kids who love you’.
I once again said that her kids are not my responsibility.
I told her I will not be going to her wedding and that is final.
She ended the phone call by calling me a jerk and that she should have just let me find out the day of the wedding.
I then blocked her.
So, AITJ?.”
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