People Want To See If They Can Avoid Having A Bad Rep With Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Kicking My Mom Out For Moving The Furniture?
“My wife has OCD. She’s on medication, but there are still things that she is extremely particular about, one part of this is where she puts things. She has certain things in specific places, she has the silverware in a certain drawer, the coffee table pressed to the side of the wall, and the coffee maker below the coffee cups she also works from home and is often in meetings.
This is how she operates and generally gets through the day, there’s a specific Place for everything and for a reason and it’s convenient. Frankly, I think these spots are where most people keep their things.
When she’s in a meeting or talking to people she’ll keep her earpiece in to make coffee as they are talking and so forth, so she’s usually rushing.
Honestly, I don’t even know if this is even a part of OCD or just a matter of her everyday routine that throws her off when it’s not there.
Mom was coming down to NJ where I live visiting me and my siblings.
She was staying with us, and usually, this isn’t an issue, but Mom continues to move things around the house. Like the things I’ve mentioned. She moved the coffee maker and the cups apart so they are hanging where there are hooks on the wall.
(the opposite way of the coffee maker) she moved the coffee table to the center of the room, and she rearranged all of the plates and cups. She’s putting my wife’s pens, paper, notebooks, and laptop (all in HER office) in different places so my wife has to rummage around to find them.
Mom keeps closing the blinds making it dark and gloomy in the house. This gets my wife overwhelmed and has a bigger impact than how simple it seems and she is sidetracked from work because now she has to find everything and put it back.
This has been happening for the past three days, each time mom does it I tell her to put it back then she gets mad at me saying this is where everything should be and she’s just helping us. I stayed firm and told her to put it back.
She does, but once I leave, it’s back to where I told her not to put it.
It’s starting to irritate me and my wife is getting really frustrated with this. I don’t think she or I can handle this for 2 weeks.
Today, Mom moved my wife’s office desk to the other side of the room (away from all the cabinets she has stored for her work things).
This was it, I profusely told her to move it back AND why. I told her that she was going to have to stay with my sister or find a hotel.
She got really mad at me and my wife and told me she can’t believe we are so selfish to not appreciate her help then said if she’s not appreciated she’ll leave.
She left, but now I’m getting blasted by my sister and my brother saying I was a jerk for kicking her out and this is just how she shows affection.
I don’t think I’m a jerk. We opened our home to her which is already kinda a lot. It’s our home. We should feel comfortable in our home, and our set up was comfortable for both of us.”
36. AITJ For Embarrassing My Cousin In Front Of Our Family For Stealing My Work?
“So I (F 16) have recently begun applying for internships and jobs to spice up my resume.
I have a strong passion for graphic design and visual effects. In the past, I have designed YouTube banners for many well-known people, edited their videos, and more. All of my work is watermarked with my name unless it’s commissioned.
My cousin (F 23), who has been very close to me since I was young, has had a lot of trouble finding a job.
She is also pursuing the same field.
One day my cousin asked to see my portfolio with all my projects. Since we were so close, I didn’t give it a second thought and sent her everything. My portfolio contains my best work, keep in mind that it was watermarked with my name and socials in the bottom left corner.
A few weeks go by, and my cousin had not found a job. Every once in a while, she comes and visits us and asks my parents questions (since her parents are out of state) about applying for jobs. She showed them her portfolio, resume, etc. When she let me see it, I was shocked. She had put all of my designs into her portfolio, all she did was cover my watermark with an ugly black bar with her name on top.
She asked, beaming, if I thought it was nice. I didn’t want to embarrass her and cause a scene so I just nodded.
The following week, our entire extended family visited for dinner. My cousin told everyone that she finally landed a job, a rather well paying one for a graphic designer.
She went on and on talking about how the interviewer mentioned that he was very impressed with her work. I wasn’t exactly comfortable through all this, knowing she had stolen my work, but I kept my composure. The issue happened when my family started telling me to be more like my cousin and not ‘laze around’.
I lost it.
I started yelling at my family and cousin about how she had stolen my work, and that all she knew how to do was add a black bar and type her name out. I called her untalented enough that she felt the need to steal from a 16-year-old.
My family was shocked.
My cousin started crying and yelling that she had no idea what I was talking about. So I pulled up the messages she sent me asking for my portfolio. However, my parents didn’t believe me and said that if I was telling the truth, why did I wait so long to say something?
Even after explaining the entire situation to everyone, I was not trusted. And now my whole family is against me for causing a scene and making my cousin cry when we were supposed to be celebrating.”
35. AITJ For Drinking Too Much To Avoid Babysitting?
“I (30 m) am the only one of my siblings without children.
This is a personal choice for many reasons I won’t get into. My parents live with my sister who is 9 years older and has 2 kids I see often. However, my brother, 2 years older, has a young girl and 2 little boys (all 3 are likely on the spectrum but my brother and his wife refuse to check through a doctor, they’re also homeschooled in a VERY rural area) and I don’t get to see my brother and his family very often, maybe once a year.
Every time I do spend time with my brother and his family, it never fails that he finds a way to dump his 3 kids on me (who may have special needs) the second he can so he and his wife can disappear from the ‘kids’ area (I really only see my brother’s family during large family events, the kids usually have their own separate area to play and eat away from the adults smoking and drinking, etc) so they can socialize and let loose so to speak.
My brother’s 3 kids don’t leave the house very much (almost never, they live on a big farm) so when they go to this kind of events, they’re over the top excited and harder to manage, and one is nonverbal but CONSTANTLY walks around looking to play with literally deadly things, so needless to say I’m not qualified or even capable to watch my brothers 3 kids by myself as well as they need, plus their cousins (my sister’s kids) also want to spend time with their cousins so I’m sitting there by myself watching 5 kids aged 4-8 by myself, 3 of which may have special needs (1 is a monster) and because I’m the ‘cool uncle” (I gave them a Nintendo switch for my own peace of mind) my brother assumes every time I’ll just watch his crap trophies.
It’s gotten so blatant on my brother’s end that lately at family events my brother will give me a physical paper list of parental duties, a backpack with stuff for the kids, then turn his phone off in front of me then walk away after dumping his kids on me.
I go to these family events to spend time with my WHOLE family, not to be an isolated babysitter, I love my nieces and nephews but this is one of the reasons I didn’t have children in my 20s. Family events are just as important to me as other parents there and they can manage to watch their own kids but my brother always finds a way to ditch me with his kids, then ultimately my sister’s kids join in too.
I don’t go to these family events to be a babysitter so I’ve just started drinking a bit before I show up and drink a little bit consistently enough to safely say I shouldn’t have 5 small children in my care. Since these times are really the only times my brother sees me, he thinks I’m a heavy drinker and spreads rumors as such.
AITJ for drinking enough to not be forced to watch 5 small children, none of which are mine, by myself at family events so I can spend time with my WHOLE family?”
34. AITJ For Not Sharing Gossip With My Friend's Significant Other Anymore?
“I became friends with this guy Thomas in college and he eventually assimilated into my friend group.
One of the things our friend group loves to do is talk. It’s nothing malicious; we’re all just nosy.
However, even though these talks mostly have the lighthearted air of gossip, sometimes we’ll discuss sensitive topics, like mental health, or other more serious issues. The thing is, Thomas has it in his head that he’s an amazing listener and an even better therapist when he’s really… not.
He gives awful advice, makes everything about him, and challenges instead of comfort. We’ve tried to talk about this to him in the past, but he’s not very good at seeing reason, so we gave up. Thus, our group has gotten into the habit of omitting certain topics around him.
He’s included in the majority of our conversations, just not when it comes to sensitive topics.
He recently got a girl, and we were all hyped about it bc this girl seemed perfect for our group. As she hung out with us more, she became a part of our ‘gossip’ sessions.
However, last week, when we were all hanging out, Thomas left the room and we took that as our opportunity to mention some things we hadn’t been saying around him. We figured it was cool to talk about it in front of his SO because it wasn’t like we were talking trash about Thomas.
When Thomas came back, we went back to the subjects we’d been on before.
I didn’t think anything of it until later when I was using the restroom, and I heard Thomas and his SO talking in the hallway. She was telling him everything we had talked about while Thomas was gone.
That made me mad because we didn’t include him in the conversation for a reason, and we thought his SO would have some discretion. Thomas seemed taken aback and was asking a lot of invasive questions, and his SO told him that she thought we had done it on purpose.
That’s when I came out of the restroom and pretended I hadn’t heard.
I told my friends about their interaction, and since then, when it comes to our gossip sessions and Thomas leaves the room with his SO still in it with us, we’ll go on our phones, or change the topic to something boring, or just be silent.
Thomas’ SO must have spoken to Thomas about our behavior because he brought it up to me—in the most bare minimum, spineless way possible—a few days ago. I pressed him for details, but he was being cryptic, so I told him that I didn’t know what he was talking about, and he let it go.
If he doesn’t want to be direct, it’s not my job to steer him in a productive direction. I’m pretty sure the reason he leaves the room to ‘grab something real quick’ so often is because he’s trying to catch us (via his SO) talking about something we don’t bring up around him, and I’m annoyed that he’s resorted to sneaking around rather than confrontation.
Maybe he doesn’t want to get his SO in ‘trouble’ but I’m annoyed with them anyway.”
33. AITJ For Not Cooking Nuggets For My Nephew?
“My (26 M) nephew (9 M) is an extremely picky eater. He only eats nuggets and rice for lunch/dinner. My sister is trying to change that, but it’s really hard.
No, he doesn’t have autism or anything, he had cancer at age 3 and that was the only food he wanted, my sister always gave in and it became a path of no return. He is fully healed and turned into a little brat monster.
On Friday, my sister called saying that she needed me to take care of my nephew for about 5 hours because there was no class and the babysitter could only be in the afternoon, she and my BIL wouldn’t be able to take the morning off.
I accepted, after all, she needed help and she said would pay for the hours I took care of him.
My nephew arrived home at 8 am and would leave at 1 pm.
At lunchtime, I made rice, chicken, and vegetables. When he saw what it was, he asked if he had his nuggets, and when he found out he didn’t, said didn’t eat what I had made.
I just replied ‘That’s what you have, if you don’t like it, wait until your mother arrives and she does it at your house’.
It was 11 am and he had breakfast at home.
He saw that I wouldn’t make nuggets and ate with a disgusted face (he even made some vomiting sounds).
To be clear, I didn’t force him to eat and my house doesn’t have junky food for ‘kids’.
The market is 20 minutes walk away (my car is in the shop) and I was not in the mood to go to the market with him, as I can tell you that it is a stressful experience, to say the least.
My sister arrived and I went to work right away.
That night, she called me screaming and cursing because he had told her that I forced him to eat something so he wouldn’t starve when he doesn’t like the food I made and that now he was traumatized by being forced to.
I argued that if she knows her son is an extremely picky eater, why didn’t she bring the nuggets? Not everyone has nuggets in the fridge and it wasn’t my fault her son didn’t eat anything else and was traumatized by eating the normal food that people eat.
She even said that I should have been kinder because he was forced to eat that because otherwise would have been hungry until she picks him up and that I could have asked the market to deliver this and she would pay later (it would be very expensive).
In the end, she didn’t pay me for the time I stayed with him, because the traumatic experience he had with me is enough and my family is on her side.
AITJ?
To be clear, I’m not child-free, I get along well with children, and I love them, but my nephew is a piece of work
In case you’re in doubt, my sister is pretty straightforward about paying for things she thinks she should pay for, so it wasn’t an excuse not to pay.
To make clear, if he waited two hours since he didn’t want to eat the ‘adult’ junky foods and chicken, I let him do it, but if he wanted to eat ‘at that moment’ that would be that (no there were no vegetables on his plate).
I don’t mistreat him, and I get along well with children, including him, but I know how to recognize when a child is difficult to deal with, family or not. I see him every Sunday at my parents’ house or family events, I say he’s like that not only because he’s a picky eater but because if he doesn’t have things his way, he throws a tantrum and screams until he gets it, he was like before cancer and during it intensified (I don’t blame my sister for that) and then it got so out of proportion.”
32. AITJ For Not Helping My Sister Ask For Money From Our Dad?
“So my (34 f) sister (29 f) got married about 4 years ago and has been in no contact with our family ever since.
Now I want to make this perfectly clear Most of us she went no contact with knew nothing about the situation till she made her wedding speech disowning us
Our dad (61 m) paid for all our weddings and 10k to help start us off in life.
He was an amazing single father (our mom died when we were young) who took pride in his 5 kids. About a few weeks before the wedding he asked my sister which song they’d be dancing to for the father/daughter dance. She told him that she wouldn’t be taking part in any silly sexist traditions and my father told her he wouldn’t be paying for anything else since she was such a strong independent woman.
They ended up falling out and she banned him from the wedding to add insult to injury she had her maid of honor walk her down the aisle.
A few weeks ago my sister randomly messaged me. It started off lightly like asking me about my kids and her showing me pictures of her children 3 days ago, then she gave me the real reason as to why she contacted me.
She wanted her 10k because they’re gonna lose their house and she wanted me as the oldest to talk to Dad.
I did try but he just pointed to his rose bush and said that was her memorial because she’s dead to him and don’t bring it up again.
I told her this but she wanted me to try harder than I told her it’s not my place to tell our father what to do with his own money and she has to face the consequences of her actions
She blew up at me telling me her kids are going to be homeless and then asked me to help her (our other siblings blocked her the second she message them) I then asked if she would even be speaking to me if she didn’t want money.
She then started begging but I’ve left her on read since
Also, lost my oldest child to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). That’s why I didn’t know till the wedding.”
31. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Lying About Our Dog's Name?
“My partner has one of those dog paw print clay keepsakes with a picture of a poodle mix (Zoey) on his coffee table.
I asked him about it and he said it was from Zoey his beloved family pet. Then I got a DM from some girl claiming to be my partner’s ex and said he stole her keepsake of her dog who died of cancer to hurt her when they broke up and she hasn’t been able to contact him since he blocked her everywhere.
He told me about her saying she was crazy and I didn’t want to talk to her but she sent me a photo of her and what looked like baby Zoey and one of the keepsakes. I ignored it for a while but curiosity got the better of me and I texted my partner’s mom to ask if Zoey was ever a family pet of theirs.
She replied no they had never had a poodle or a dog named Zoey before and I was floored he lied to me. I confronted him and he claimed Zoey was a pet they got together so he was entitled to the keepsake and she (the ex) let him keep it but was now jealous he was in a relationship and was now trying to ‘brainwash’ me.
I asked for a photo of him and Zoey as a puppy and he got mad saying he didn’t have the photos anymore because it hurt him too much and I said his story didn’t make any sense.
He got mad and accused me of believing his ex over him but she has all her receipts and his story doesn’t make any sense.
He said he and his ex only dated 3 years so they would have gotten a dog together and it would have to have died of cancer all within 3 years. Zoey in the keepsake photo doesn’t look that young anymore and I can’t believe my partner would do something as trashy as stealing a keepsake from his ex but it looks like it.”
30. AITJ For Excluding My Stepson From My Daughter's Birthday?
“I have three kids from my previous marriage – my daughter B (32 f) and my sons (22 m & 19 m). My wife has two sons from a previous relationship T (20 m) and M (17 m), although T is currently traveling with friends so he is not involved in this situation.
My wife and I have one daughter (10 f) together.
My children have never been particularly close to their stepsiblings, they don’t really get along, especially with M. He’s very loud and immature and praises himself for his brutal honesty, but he’s really just quite mean.
It was B’s birthday on Wednesday and she had planned a birthday meal that evening. She called me to apologize for it being midweek, but she and her fiance were going away for the weekend, and wanted to ensure that I and my daughter could make it, there was no mention of her stepbrothers.
M was supposed to be at our house that day, but I asked my wife to rearrange it. My wife agreed.
I thought that we’d all had a great time, despite my ex and her sister being there. The food was amazing and my daughter seemed to enjoy herself.
However, as soon as we got back to the car, my wife chewed me out. She said that she’d assumed M wasn’t invited because it would be a small family affair and not a big outing with extended family. She said that all of B’s brothers should have been there and we should be encouraging my kids to see us as a family unit.
I said it would be unfair to bring M along when he doesn’t get along with my kids and I can’t trust him to behave himself. The meal was to celebrate my daughter and whether my wife wanted us to play happy families was irrelevant.
Besides, then I would have had to pay for him and it wasn’t cheap.
My wife thinks that it was unfair of me not to invite my stepson as he is my daughter’s family too, but I know that my daughter doesn’t view him as family and that his presence would have probably just annoyed her and made a bad impression on her future in-laws.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Telling My Mom She Isn't Welcome In My House?
“I (33 m) have finally come to the decision that my mother is no longer welcome at my house, or to see my 10-week-old son.
Additionally, my in-laws have said she’s not welcome at their house either.
About 5 years ago, before my wife (30 f) and I got married, my mother went on a tirade about how my future unborn children should be raised Catholic, all while my Jewish wife was not around.
Despite being raised in a Catholic household, like many others, I have no connection to the church and will never have one. Practice whatever religion you want, just don’t try to shove it down my throat. My wife is very proud of being Jewish, so we agreed that any future children should be Jewish.
My mother bawled her eyes out and said she’d get my future children baptized in secret and I just left the conversation.
There have been a few other minor incidents over the past several years, but we just brush them off as her living in her own world.
Fast forward to this April when my son was born. He ended up spending a few weeks in the NICU and has a handful of issues that we have slowly been informing our families about as we process them and figure out the implications they have for his and our lives.
My father (65 f) has always been accepting of my wife’s religious background and understanding of our situation with the baby, so I end up sharing the information with him before my mother so that he is prepared for whatever her reaction will be.
This past week I shared with her that my son is hard of hearing and that we don’t fully know to what extent.
She proceeds to ask me if I’m happy in my marriage, saying that she’s never really liked my wife because she’s a very headstrong person who doesn’t take no for an answer, and that doesn’t sit well with her. She then offered to pay for a divorce if I ever needed one.
This ensued back and forth until I told her I’m happy and that she needed to stop asking me that. At this point, I’m doing my best to keep my cool and not lose it on her. She then asks me if I’m converting to Judaism and that she raised me to be a good Catholic boy and our heritage is as Catholics… mind you she’s crying while saying this part.
After assuring her I’m not because I’m already trying to least learn ASL to better communicate with my son in the future. She tells me we need to get genetic testing because my wife and MIL are A*******i Jews and they have a lot of genetic disorders… AKA dirty b***d.
Kept my shut through this because I needed to discuss it with my wife.
Going one step further, she said that maybe my wife’s natural, unmedicated childbirth was the reason my son has these health issues. I shut this down quickly because it made absolutely no sense.
Left fairly soon after to debrief my wife on everything that she said and how offensive it was, as well as our course of action.
So, AITJ for telling my mother she isn’t welcome in my house, my in-laws’ house, or to see my son after all of her comments?”
28. AITJ For Lying To Someone About Filing A Police Report?
“Yesterday I had to threaten my mom’s best friend with the police/court. For context, we have a dog that we have been caring for. It is my brother’s and he is 2000 miles away right now and scheduled to come pick her up in August. My mom had the genius idea of giving away the dog cause she was sick.
Turns out they had been feeding her cat food for months straight. I wasn’t aware of this since I live downstairs. Also, have 5 other pets I care for just downstairs, so I’m busy a lot.
My mom lied to me and convinced me she ran away.
I didn’t believe it fully but had to since I had no evidence of her being given away. I started poking into the situation and two weeks later found out she gave away her son’s dog without permission. With no permission from my father either.
I told my mom she needed to get the dog back and she immediately said no because her friend’s daughter already loves the dog. This isn’t fair my brother has owned that dog for 6 years since a puppy. I told her that and she said that he was only taking care of her for my baby sister.
Well, that’s complete nonsense because I saw her hand the dog to my brother in 2016 and say it’s his as long as he cares for it.
Well since I was not getting through my mom’s head I texted her best friend and asked for the dog back so nicely… ignored. The next day I was so angry that I messaged her and said ‘We will go to court if you don’t give back his dog’.
She called my mom and then my mom called me telling me to back off.
At this point I was fed up, I yelled at my mom, then lied about filing a police report already with an officer. However, that seemed to work and they gave the dog back to me finally.
She’s safe in my room downstairs.
I feel so bad and trashy, especially for threatening someone. But my wife is telling me not to since we more than likely wouldn’t have gotten the dog back without threatening her.
Am I the jerk?
Small edit: her best friend also lied to me and said the dog was with her daughter at another home.
The dog was at her direct house, she also lied saying she had given the dog away to someone else and couldn’t even get it. And this was all coming from my mom’s best friend.”
27. AITJ For Telling My Mother-In-Law She's No Longer Allowed To Come To My Son's Sporting Events?
“MIL & I have always disagreed about a lot of things. She would try to get involved in any decision regarding my son’s (15) school choice/activities/interests etc… when I disagree with her she’d basically get my son indirectly involved. I sucked it up for the sake of family and because of my husband but 2 weeks ago.
My son had a football game, I came to watch the game but my husband couldn’t because he was busy. MIL knew about the event and came to watch. but what she did was sit on the opposing team’s side instead of my son’s. My son noticed, his friends and playmates noticed, and even his coach noticed. I was stunned especially after I texted her asking why and she said that she was upset with me over some disagreement.
I talked to my son who was so upset and mad. He said his friends saw what grandma did and made fun of him, even his coach told him to tell his grandma the next time she comes she better sit on the right side.
I confronted her later at her house and she picked an argument with me saying I get zero say in how she ‘supports’ her grandson, and also in telling her where to sit and how to act. I told her that she’s no longer allowed to attend any of my son’s sporting events if this is how she chooses to act.
She got upset and called my husband. He came and was livid at me for telling her she was banned from attending our son’s games and told me I was being too controlling and wanted to rule everyone around me. He told me she’s his grandma, and her attending his games is a way of bonding and I can’t take that away from them.
My son keeps staying in his room refusing to see or talk to anybody. Not even his friends.”
26. AITJ For Not Supporting My Dad's Relationship With My Late Mom's Sister?
“My mum passed away last year. So now it’s just me (15), my sister (19), my brother (14), and my dad (43). My parents got together when they were in school, and have stayed together all their life.
They were amazing parents and basically had the perfect love life before Mum got sick. I always wanted to find a love like them, just the one person I would be with all my life. I was always really close with her and miss her so much.
Dad said the same and promised her that he’d never love anyone else like he loved her.
However, Dad came to us last week and talked to us saying he wanted to get with our aunt. She’s been helping us since Mum died, and we’ve spent a lot of time with her and our cousins.
Apparently, she and Dad fell in love now, and want to be together. Obviously, I was furious and told him that he couldn’t and that he was betraying Mum. My brother agreed with me, but our sister thinks it was ok somehow and tried to get us to listen to Dad’s betrayal.
Dad promised Mum that he wouldn’t get with someone else. If it was someone new he found, then maybe I could forgive him, but it was Mum’s SISTER. Mum would NEVER accept it. I would never date my sisters partner, it’s disgusting. He’s just betraying her in a horrible way.
And like what about our cousins, are they gonna be our siblings now? It’s all so weird and wrong. Dad tried to talk to me about it, but he won’t really listen and thinks it’s fine. If he really loved mum he would never do this.
I told him he’s not my dad anymore if he cares more about sleeping with her than his promise to Mum and has just refused to talk to him anymore. I want nothing to do with him and I don’t care if it’s hurt him, he deserves it.
I think it’s disgusting what he’s doing. I don’t understand how he can just not care about Mum anymore. She would hate this if she knew about it. But my sister keeps trying to tell me I’m being unfair and selfish and to give Dad and Aunt a chance on this.
But he made Mum a promise, and there’s no way breaking it with her sister is right.
Edit: Dad is allowed to date again. While I probably wouldn’t be super happy, I would let him date someone new. But being with Mum’s SISTER is wrong.”
25. AITJ For Not Giving My Sister Money?
“I (23 F) have an older sister (26 F). She and I were never close growing up. She would bully me so badly that I became an isolated quiet person and never had any friends. Any friends I did have would stop being my friends because somehow my sister would make them dislike me and the one time I had a partner my sister somehow managed to get to him even though he was 16 and she was 18.
I found out because I walked in on them doing things and she got pregnant. They stayed together up until she got pregnant a second time and he went MIA on our whole family and haven’t seen him in 7 years.
When I turned 16 (graduated early) I started going to college for an art and design major and a minor in business.
When I graduated I started selling my art to art galleries and started working for different companies that had any work in my field of profession. At one of these companies I met my husband (then 22 M, now 25 M) and we clicked immediately.
Long story short, we got married. My wedding was huge, not by choice, but because my husband and his family are extremely wealthy and extra.
I invited my sister against my better judgment and she threw a tantrum at the reception and had to be pulled out. My parents begged me to continue a relationship with her, so I did. I gave birth to me and my husband’s son 5 months ago.
My sister wasn’t really allowed near him since she had tried to pull something with my husband and he didn’t like being around her but she met him for the first time last week.
I won’t make this long, basically, she broke down cause I showed up in a Range Rover with my baby and I in designer clothes.
The breakdown was about me being so lucky to have met my husband, and she broke down about how broke she was (she works 9 hours a day to support herself and her children, and she is single.) I left because I couldn’t handle it, and now I’m being attacked by her and my mother about me giving her money because she needs it and I owe her it for all the years she took care of me (she would babysit me after she turned 15, but she wasn’t a good ‘babysitter’.)
I feel like I’m not a jerk, but at the same time, I do. I want an outside opinion AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Gifting My Pregnant Sister With A Stroller?
“I (40 F) have a younger sister (32 F) who is pregnant and due in a few months. She also just got married a couple of months ago to my now BIL (32 M). When she got married, as part of their gift, I paid for their venue and because they had asked for monetary contributions to their ‘dream home’ (via a registry on one of those popular wedding sites), I gave them ~$5k.
I’m not a total idiot, I know that those monetary gifts can be used toward anything and it’s not like it goes directly into a home escrow account or something AND I know that a gift is a gift.
It’s not for me to dictate how money gets used once I gift it to them.
That said, the last time that I visited their apartment, my BIL very excitedly showed me that he had recently purchased 4 brand new TVs for their apartment (living room, bedroom, guestroom, and bathroom) a fairly pricey treadmill, and two new video game systems. I asked how the house hunting was going, and my BIL said that they were probably still ‘5 years away from that’ due to the exploding housing market (which is true in their state, it’s not like he’s just making it up).
Last week, I threw my sister a baby shower. The only request on their registry was a link to send funds. But I had been kind of annoyed by the feeling that the money I had given them for their wedding had gone to some fancy flatscreen tv that my BIL can watch while he’s taking a bath so instead of giving them money, I got them a jogging stroller (my sister enjoys running in their neighborhood) and a subscription to 6 months of a diaper delivery service.
I reasoned that technically, the stroller could be returned for cash if they really needed it, and the diaper service could definitely help save a lot of funds.
My sister said she loved both but my BIL is mad at me for not just giving them money.
My family says that I should just give them what they want and return the stroller but I feel like if my sister wants to keep them, then she should. The reason that I recognize that I might be the jerk in this situation is that I am essentially being judgemental about my BIL’s recent shopping and kind of taking it out on him.”
23. AITJ For My Passive-Aggressive Response To My Neighbor Who's Recording Me?
“My dad passed away recently and he left me (26 M) and my sister (31 f) his house. It’s super unkempt so I’ve been doing lots of yard work outside in the mornings. I’m out there watering the grass in the mornings and evenings.
Every single time I’ve done this the neighbor right next door who’s like this older granny comes out to her porch and straight up watches me without even hiding it. I introduced myself to her once that me and my sister are the new owners after my dad passed but it was obvious she didn’t wanna talk.
Next thing she started coming outside with her phone pointing the camera right at me. I’m like ‘Is there a problem?’ She says there’s no problem as long as I’m doing what I’m supposed to. I asked her why is she recording me then.
The neighbor lady goes what’s the problem with me recording if you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s so weird I didn’t even know how to respond to the situation.
Soon as I finished up to go back inside she went back to her house too.
This happens every. single. day I’m outside watering the grass. Always the same excuse that she wants to make sure I’m not doing anything else or if I do it’s on camera. So yesterday I got fed up and decided to do something different.
When she came out with her phone I stuck my butt out and put my hand on my hip looking right at her.
At first, she was like WHAT but then she got really mad when I started wetting myself with the water hose and touching my neck while literally looking directly at her.
Was it stupid? Yes, but she put her phone away and started cussing me out for being a creep. My sister told me later on that she came to the house when I was at work talking about me harassing her making poses in provocative ways.
My sister knows she’s a pain in the butt since she probably has nothing better to do with her time.
But I still shouldn’t have stooped to her level making her uncomfortable right back.
I feel like I’m right on this one and it wasn’t even that bad (not like I was grabbing my balls or anything) but also can be dumb sometimes so I don’t know, you guys tell me.
Was I a jerk?”
22. AITJ For Helping My Daughter Shave Her Head?
“My daughter (10) wanted to shave her hair.
It was her idea after she saw her friend had done so before he started chemo last week. At first, she asked my ex-wife if she could but she said that it was out of the question because, and I quote, ‘It would make her look hideous’.
This was something that her mother and my own mother both agreed with (they all live together).
My ex has primary custody so I get her on weekends. I didn’t know about her desire to shave her head until I picked her up and she complained about it to me.
Obviously, I didn’t mean to play the whole good parent-bad parent against my ex but at the end of the day, I’ve always tried to install a sense of independence for my daughter especially when it came to her control over her own body.
Of course, a 10-year-old isn’t old enough to make big decisions about her body, obviously, but at the end of the day, hair is just hair. It grows back.
So when she told me about it I asked her if I’d shave it for her and told her that what her mum said didn’t matter because it was her body, not her mum’s.
After I did it she was ecstatic about it and wanted to show her friend so we video-called his parents to show him and yada yada yada.
Now I knew that things would go down when her mum found out for obvious reasons but I didn’t expect her to go as nuclear as she’s gone.
Not only is she, my MIL, and my mum on my butt about it but she’s also told our mutual friends about it. She’s claiming that I only did it because I was bitter about our divorce (which isn’t true). She’s also claiming that I did it to pit my daughter against her (also not true).
The only reason I feel like I could be a jerk here is because two weeks ago my ex spent roughly £70 on hair styling for our daughter. Admittedly I knew about how much was spent on the hair but, again, I think that supporting my daughter’s independence over her body is most important than worrying over the amount spent on hair.
So am I the jerk here?”
21. AITJ For Not Helping My Sister And Her Family Get A Home?
“I (29 F) love my sister and BIL, Ivy (27 F) and Tom (26 M) but they’re among the most irresponsible adults I know. They will post daily online about buying annual Disney passes, going to concerts, eating at high-end restaurants, etc. Tom even owns an exotic sports car!
Yet they’ll complain to our family about how they’re struggling with finances, can’t afford this month’s rent, and need help. I have a successful career, so I’m the one who our family expects to ‘help out.’
They don’t just demand financial help either. They got a puppy a while back and in addition to helping with vet bills, they would beg me to watch the dog at least every other day ‘just for an hour!’ And not come back until the next day.
They also did no research on the breed, because the poor thing had severe separation anxiety and I would constantly have to deal with the puppy meltdowns and ruined furniture. They ended up rehoming the dog after a few months when I pretended to develop an allergy and said I couldn’t watch it anymore.
Recently, Ivy and Tom discussed wanting to try for a baby and asked my thoughts. I told them I wished nothing but the best and was happy to be an aunt. However, I was not going to be financing their child or being any more present than a normal aunt.
I would provide Christmas/Birthday presents and be willing to babysit occasionally but I wasn’t going to be their personal daycare and bank (I worded this last part more gently to them.) Ivy and Tom acted offended and said it wasn’t going to be like that.
They wound up getting pregnant and both my nieces, Christine and Samantha, were born last June. They’re already very advanced for their age (their favorite words are ‘No’ and ‘Yellow’ respectively.) But I have kept my foot down about not being a third parent/provider.
This is a boundary that Ivy and Tom continually push. Ivy and Tom also haven’t stopped spending/going out. They got a nanny and are more insistent with the family about needing money. Anytime they ask, I say that they have stable jobs (Ivy even has the option to work from home but chooses not to) and that they’re just spending a lot on the wrong things.
The reason I’m writing; Ivy and Tom are begging (and our family is pressuring) me to give them an $8,000+ loan because they’re gonna lose the nanny/be evicted for lack of payment. I told them no. My mother inherited a 3-bedroom house from my grandpa and two of the rooms are unoccupied. She doesn’t work/is able to look after my nieces.
But our family said that it would prevent Ivy and Tom from being independent and I can afford the loan.
Now if I post anything online, the family leaves comments about me not caring that Ivy and Tom will be homeless and how much better the money would be spent on my nieces.
They won’t be homeless, and I don’t see moving in with my mother as a big deal. I’ve blocked most family members, but now I’m unsure if I’m the oblivious/entitled one here and if I’m being selfish. AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Picking My Daughter's Side Over My Husband's?
“My family and I recently moved. Last weekend my husband and daughter (17) spent the entire weekend moving our shed from the old house to our new place.
It’s a 14×10 shed, not awfully huge but still a job regardless.
Last night my daughter was cleaning out her truck. I came outside to give my husband something, my daughter said she thinks he’s in the backyard. We both walk back there and see him loading up the shed, this was the exchange of words:
D: Oh, is that where you’re leaving it (shed)?
Him: Don’t come back here being a jerk.
D: What? I thought we were sliding it to the corner.
Him: When you get your own place, you can decide where you put things.
Me to him: You’ve said numerous times, it’s going in the corner.
It’s not in the corner and you’re putting things in it, so that’s why she asked.
Him: I never said that.
We stood there arguing for a few minutes, I realized she was suddenly gone. I go into the house and she is completely sobbing.
This girl rarely, if ever cries. I have watched her get physically injured and not shed a single tear, she is as strong as a rock. It takes a lot to upset her this much. She just kept saying, ‘I’m moving out the day I turn 18, I hate him.’ A bit later my son (26) randomly pops in.
Apparently, he already got the lowdown from his dad.
Son walks in the door to tell his sister, ‘You need to grow a pair and stop being so sensitive all the time. And when are you moving out? You need to go away.’ I remind him, she’s still a freaking minor WITH NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS.
She ran down to her room and stayed there.
This morning she was still locked in her room and said she wasn’t coming out until Monday. I told my husband he needs to go talk to her, she’s upset (she never gets this upset).
Husband says, ‘She was disrespectful last night, let her sit in there and think about it.’ Umm no she was not, she asked a simple, innocent question to which you exploded on her. My husband then says it’s my fault I turned her into a disrespectful brat and should have backed him up last night.
AITJ for siding with her and not him?”
19. AITJ For Not Liking My Sister's Fiancé?
“My sister (19) sent me (29) a photo via messenger today of her wearing an engagement ring saying, ‘He asked me to marry him and I said yes!’ and I left it on read.
Some context: Since the day she was born until her teenage years I was like a third parent to her.
She was diagnosed as autistic as a teenager. I would say she is very high functioning as some even disputed it.
My parents were always way too lenient with her in an attempt to avoid falling out or her having a ‘meltdown’. Throughout her life, she has made terrible choices that met very little consequence from my parents for this very reason.
Some examples are teenage pregnancy (didn’t keep it), getting kicked out of various schools, minor crimes committed in order to make friends/impress people, and moving to another city at the age of 17 to live with someone she met online who was way older (it obviously didn’t last).
She is very impulsive, like buying pets or other expensive things that she likes the idea of having but doesn’t care about once she does. She also craves companionship to the point that she has been a nuisance to many people by harassing them via messages and calls.
She recently (last December) moved out of our parents into her own house impulsively with next to no savings. She regularly requires bailouts from our parents for bills and food (yet she gets her own money so I don’t know where that goes). She started inviting unsavory types into her home that she met on nights out and possessions started going missing and she was getting into trouble with these people.
It seemed she was being taken advantage of, to be honest.
Anyway, this was all sorted, and then within the next few weeks, she tells us she has a man. Literally a week after their meeting she had moved him in. I’ve not even met him but I had no inclination to at the time as they had only been going out a week.
Last week there was a massive falling out between my parents and her/her significant other as they found out he was dealing illegal stuff from her house or something. Details were vague (they don’t like me knowing too much because apparently, I’m judgemental and negative when it comes to her).
Things got smoothed over and they’re all best friends again.
Next, I’m receiving the before-mentioned message regarding her engagement.
My mother tells me I need to be happy for her and I need to meet him. That he treats her well and they’re happy together.
That it’s not ideal but we can’t do anything about it.
I’ve left her on read. Am I the jerk?”
18. AITJ For Bringing A Pizza To A Vegetarian Wedding?
“I (36 m) was a groomsman for my friend Sara’s (34 F) wedding this past week. I’m only acquaintances with the groom but because I’ve known Sara for nearly 20 years she wanted me at the party. I’m on medication for anxiety and depression that has to be taken at a certain time of the day and also requires food, so I asked Sara what time the food would be served.
Now this is a vegetarian wedding, I’m not vegetarian but I have no problem not eating meat for a meal especially when it comes to supporting my friend. The only issue I had was when I found out the size of the meals. The entire course consisted of a side salad, a side of corn, and a side of broccoli.
If this were only for a few hours that wouldn’t be a problem, but because the wedding party has to arrive before everyone, between the ceremony and shuffling to the reception the whole event was going to be over 8 hours and I knew there was no way a small salad and a few tablespoons of corn and broccoli were going to hold me over (I’m 6’2 185 lbs, for what it’s worth).
When Sara told me what they were serving I said something like, ‘Oh will there be another entre?’ and she immediately got defensive so I hushed myself before causing any further tensions.
Normally I would ‘have been straightforward about all this, but I could see she was already stressed and I didn’t want to add to it, so I decided during the reception dinner that I was going to covertly order a pizza, meet the guy outside, and just sneak in and out here and there to grab a few slices from my car.
I told my friend this and of course, word got around to some of the other party members. Turns out I wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable going so many hours with little food, so by the time I placed the order there were about 12 other people (all from the wedding party) throwing down.
I ordered 4 larges and kept them in my car so people could just kind of come and go and grab some whenever they were hungry. Nobody really seemed to notice anything until Sara couldn’t find the groom anywhere. She had her mom help her find him and as you can guess she found him out by my car eating pizza.
Well, to say she blew up was an understatement. She said I embarrassed her, made her feel cheap, and said I only did this because it was a vegetarian wedding (3 of the pizzas had meat on them). I tried to apologize and explain the situation, but she was having none of it.
The other party members that were eating the pizza were all silent, I was thrown to the wolves. She told me to leave while her mom stared daggers at me. It’s been 4 days and she hasn’t responded to me. Her husband did reach out to apologize for all the ‘confusion’ but the majority of her friends (even some who ate the pizza) are telling me I’m a jerk and what I did is unforgivable as she’ll always remember her wedding as ‘not being good enough’ because of my ‘stunt’.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Not Letting My Brother Use Our Family's Trust Fund For His Stepson's College?
“My father passed away 8 years ago and left about 500k in a family trust. I am the executor of the trust and his will put some stipulations in place for how it is to be used. He didn’t want us to blow it on wasteful things so he used specific language to only use it for medical and educational expenses for the ‘biological and/or adopted grandchildren’ of his.
Fortunately, we haven’t needed to use anything for medical expenses but we have used funds to help pay for my son’s college as well as my niece’s college. I have a daughter who will be going to college in a couple of years as well as another niece who is currently 14.
My brother, let’s call him Dan, has no bio kids but he married a woman 5 years ago with now 17 and 15-year-old sons. Their father is still around here and there. Doesn’t provide much financial support but he is still legally their father and would never entertain the idea of Dan adopting them (not sure if the kids would even want that).
Dan asked me about using funds for the older one for his college in about two years, he is currently a junior in high school. I told him I don’t think that that would be allowed due to the wording in our father’s will.
Dan and his wife are very angry at me for saying that I’m treating his stepkids as castaways due to not being blood-related. I feel like I’m just honoring the testament of my father but he feels otherwise.
I can kind of see it going either way but since it is limited funds and we don’t know what the future holds medically speaking. I’m inclined to save the funds vs allocate them for my step-nephews. My sister agrees with me but it’s causing some tension.”
16. AITJ For Not Forgiving My Dad Who Abandoned Us?
“My dad had an affair while my mom was in the hospital. Great start, I know.
This was 4 years ago. My mum is physically disabled and she was in for a procedure. I was 15 at the time, and my dad would leave me home alone while he had an affair with not much food in the house and he wouldn’t answer my calls.
This would last until sometimes 8-9 pm when he would ‘come home from work’ (I knew he finished at 5 pm at work and only worked 1 hour away).
My mum found out once she left the hospital and he got kicked out of the house that same night.
Ever since then, he’s been living with his mistress and her kids. He flaunted on social media all the holidays he took them on and the cars he bought. Meanwhile, I and my mum lived on benefits as she couldn’t work and neither could I (since I was in school and coming home to care for her).
My dad has done a lot of things in the past 4 years; threatened to take my dog from me, ignored me on birthdays/Christmas, refused to pay his (legal) money towards looking after me, etc a lot of trashy dad things. That’s the bare bones of the situation anyway.
Fast forward to a few days ago: it’s my birthday and me and my dad have a text conversation for the first time in 4 years as follows:
Dad: Happy birthday (mercuryyflytrap). Love from Dad.
Me: Thank you.
D: Your mum sent me a video of you and (dog’s name) opening your presents.
Looks like a good day.
(He made the mistake of bringing up my dog)
M: The presents my mum got me and the dog I raised cause you abandoned him? Yes, it was a great day. Thanks.
D: Wow still bitter then are you? I was always there for you no matter what you thought.
M: Yes, I am bitter. Glad you can see this from my point of view. There for me? You moved halfway across the country to avoid parenting me.
He hasn’t replied to me since.
Here’s the thing: my family keeps insisting I give him another chance, that I should ‘be mature’ and just forgive him because that’s ‘what families do’.
But how can I forgive someone who hurt me so badly to the point I’ve been in and out of counseling since he left to deal with my issues? Why do I, as the CHILD of the situation, have to be the ‘mature’ one?
I get a lot of comments from people like ‘Won’t you regret it if something happens to him?’ but honestly I can’t answer that. I don’t know if I will in the end.
So I wanted to pose this question: Am I the jerk for holding this grudge against my dad?
Don’t get me wrong. I know he’s a jerk but am I making a bad situation worse for other people with my own stubbornness to not forgive him? Does that make me a jerk just like him?”
15. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For The Burger?
“I absolutely hate pickles and celery. The smell, the texture, the taste… only two foods that will outright make me gag. Growing up my family and friends always thought I was overexaggerating and would sneak that crap into my food and let me eat it.
Sometimes I’d taste/smell it before I ever got it, other times I wouldn’t until I bit into it and proceeded to gag. Eventually, they learned to knock it off and leave me be after multiple attempts to get me to eat them either by stupid crap like that or by me trying of my own accord.
Last week a few friends and I met up for lunch at a local diner, we ordered our food and I told our waitress no pickles. Get our burgers, take the bun off to put on some condiments and there stuck in the cheese is pickles.
A lot of them. So I flag down our waitress and ask if she could please take it back because I asked for no pickles, showed her the offending condiment, so she took it back. Comes back about ten minutes later and gives me a burger.
I look, no pickles, cheese looks a little funny but whatever.
Take two bites and all I taste is pickles. Look at my burger again and the underside of the bun is soggy and tastes like pickles. Smells like pickles. The cheese wasn’t melted they just slapped a piece of cheese over the original. Didn’t remake the burger, just scraped off the pickles and reused the same bun.
So I flag the waitress down again and ask her to please take it away and remove it from the check since I can’t eat that and by that time, everyone else is just about finished eating so I don’t want to wait around for another one to be made.
She takes it away and brings the check, the burger I did not eat is still on there. I refused to pay for the burger, and the waitress refused to take it off and brought her manager who also refused to take it off because the kitchen scraped the pickles off.
I told him that’s not good enough, what if someone had an onion allergy and asked for no onions, and they just scraped them off and returned the tainted meal? Asked if I had a pickle allergy and I said no, so he said it’s not the same then.
I figure it’s the principle of the matter.
My friends wound up being embarrassed I was refusing to pay so one friend paid my portion and left. I told her she shouldn’t have done that but I did give her some cash regardless to make up the difference.
They say they don’t plan on eating out with me again anytime soon because they’re still embarrassed over last week and think I was out of line for not just paying in the diner. AITJ here?”
14. AITJ For Telling My Partner's Family That I Would Sue Them If They Don't Get My Dog Back?
“I met my (23) partner (24) when we were Housemates in college. We currently are living in America where he is from.
I am Irish.
I have been living with my partner for 5 years now. Last year I ‘rescued’ a beautiful spaniel puppy – Púca after her mother had been in an accident. Her old family wasn’t equipped to take care of a 3-week-old puppy so we took her in.
Unfortunately, when she was 7 months old a family member of mine was in a serious accident and passed away. I decided to take the risk and fly home for the funeral. My partner decided to come with me and his parents agreed to take in Púca.
Of course, the global crisis got to us and we ended up being gone for just over a month instead of a week. When we got back we went straight to his parents’ house to collect our dog but I knew straight away something was wrong.
The dog they had wasn’t mine (looked identical but was missing identifying marks). I lost my cool and started yelling at them but they denied everything and said I was just stressed and tired. After a very heated argument, his parents revealed that my dog was just too much work and they traded her in for a ‘better trained one’.
I was mad and told them to give me my dog back or I would sue.
Now here’s where I might be the jerk. Last week (2.5 months after the fight) I got a call from a vet saying they had a dog that was registered to me.
Apparently, the family who took her in didn’t know anything. They were devastated but agreed she was my dog (especially after seeing how she reacted to me) and gave her back. Now Púca is fine. She had a fantastic time with a loving family when she was gone but I’m still mad.
I feel like I can’t trust my partner’s parents anymore and feel like this would be a wake-up call. So AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Teaching My Sister A Lesson By Returning The Kids To Where She Left Them?
“My (27 F) sister (33 F) pawns her children (2 F and 10 months F) off to other people to watch at any chance she gets. When I say pawns off, I mean she doesn’t even ask first before just leaving her children and walking off.
Be it to our 16-year-old cousin on big family holidays or our mom whenever she visits.
Yesterday, I was due to see my mother lives in for a visit and to give her a few gifts that I had for her. In the morning, I got a call from my mom asking me if I could go and pick up a dress and earrings that my mom had lent to my sister.
When I got there, my sister gave me the dress and earrings and offered me a quick cup of coffee while her babies were playing in their bouncer chairs. I accepted as my mom doesn’t mind what time I rock up at hers. After we chatted for a bit, my sister got up and left me alone in the room with the babies.
I waited for a moment and then saw my sister go out the front door saying ‘I’ll be back soon’. Before I could even open my mouth to reply, she was out the door and getting in her car to drive off.
I called my mom and told her everything.
I could tell that my mom was getting worked up with everything I said to her. My mother and I spend a few moments complaining about my sister and we come incredibly close to calling CPS. I then decide to do something a bit petty and stupid.
I warn my mom about what I’m going to do and she tells me it probably isn’t a good idea but doesn’t try to stop me.
I spent the next 3 hours looking after the kids, Eventually, I saw my sister’s car coming up the road.
I put the babies where she left them and then walked out the back door as my sister came up to the front to make her think that her house had been empty apart from the kids.
Predictably, my sister called me, furious and screaming about how I abandoned her kids for hours and how one of them was forced to suffer with a dirty diaper (apparently she soiled herself as I was leaving and I hadn’t noticed) and how shocking my behavior was.
I told her that SHE abandoned her kids and asked her why she assumed I was up for babysitting. She screamed some more and hung up.
When I got to mom’s, my mom informed me that my sister called her to complain about me, and my mom covered for me and asked my sister ‘At what point did (my name) agree to babysit for you’.
Do you remember I mentioned our 16-year-old cousin? Well today, I found out that my sister also went complaining to his father and he gave her a piece of his mind as well. My sister called up my mom again and this time began crying about how her own family hates her and about how hard it is to be a single mother (her husband works abroad most of the year so this is practically the case).
I feel like I’ve created a knock-on effect on the whole family but my mom and uncle keep reassuring me that my sister got what she deserved. I really don’t know anymore so AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Hating My Brother-In-Law?
“I (22 F) have an older sister named Samantha (25 F). Samantha and I have always been so close, and we made a deal to have children at the same time and breastfeed each other’s babies so they can be milk-siblings (a cultural thing).
Anyways, Samantha got married about 3 years ago to Nick (26 M). Nick became extremely attached to me and my other sisters, and it got really toxic. He would make mean jokes, and inappropriate comments, and constantly make me cry, but always make my sister explain how he was just joking.
If I made him angry, I wouldn’t see my sister until he and I were on good terms. He was a manipulator, gaslighter, and emotionally abusive.
I eventually married a friend of his, Josh (22 M), who is the total opposite of him, and we’ve been married for close to 2 years!
Two days before the wedding, Nick attempted to sabotage the whole thing by ‘warning’ Josh about me. Obviously, Josh didn’t listen and married me anyways, we’ve both gone very low contact with Nick.
On my wedding day, he took my sister away from my party because he needed a ride from home since he was ‘bored’.
She left to pick him up. Our relationship, as you can imagine, has been going through misery since. She’s now started therapy and we are doing better.
Now, Nick had an affair. It shook the whole family because Nick has had a terrible relationship with every one of us.
My sister is debating whether or not to get back together with him, and she’s most likely going to go back to him. I have supported her in the entire process, and have kept my opinions at bay, but today we were on a call and I asked her if she would be receptive to hearing out our opinions individually and as a family.
She said yes, of course, and asked me to open up to her. I said it may not be the right time but she said it was okay. I brought up some major concerns that she didn’t really see as issues and then told her that I wouldn’t be comfortable having Nick in my life or my children’s life.
Josh and I were also planning on moving and Nick wanted to follow, so I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that either. I said that she and I would still be close, but I wouldn’t breastfeed her babies, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with my children around Nick unsupervised.
She said that it was extremely inappropriate for me to say that and that I shouldn’t have ever said that to her, and that I’m basing the future on a mistake that Nick made (the infidelity). She said to never mention this to her again, and that I was wrong for saying this to her now.
AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Shutting Down My Coworkers Complaints By Telling Him His Being Fat Is His Fault?
“I’ve been really serious about my training and nutrition for most of my life, but a few years ago I had a couple of surgeries and I became super inconsistent for about 3 years and got kind of out of shape (I’d call myself fat, but nobody really agreed and just said I was kind of chubby).
However, a few months ago I got tired of what I was becoming and decided to get serious again and I found my stride again. I lost a significant amount of weight (about 30 lbs in 4 months) and regained a lot of my strength and muscle back.
I’m still a ways off from where I was but it’s going really well.
To the story. I (M 29) have this coworker (M 27) who’s probably about as fat as I was, who started going to the gym 2 years ago. We were just talking and the conversation eventually went to the gym, and he was talking about how he failed his 225 bench attempt again.
I just told him that he’ll get it eventually and told him that it took me a while to get it my first time too. He then asked where I was right now and I told him I’m not sure what my one rep max is right now as I haven’t tested it yet since I started working out again, but it is probably around 315.
He was flabbergasted as I told him I could barely do 205 even 4 months ago. He didn’t believe me so I showed him a video of me doing 275 for 7. He told me it’s impossible to gain that much progress that fast. I explained that it’s easier to gain muscle and strength back that you’ve lost as opposed to building it for the first time.
There’s that biological advantage as well as my experience. I know how to eat and train much better than a newbie. He said that’s bs and the body can’t remember the muscle it once had, once it’s gone, it’s gone. He told me I’m lying and that I must be taking steroids.
He complained that he’s been going to the gym for 2 years and has only made minimal strength progress (like 20 lbs on the bench in the last 6 months) and pretty much no weight loss.
I told him that was entirely his fault. I told him that nutrition is the most important part and he’s still fat and not gaining strength or muscle because he eats out for every meal. He told me that nutrition doesn’t matter as long as he eats enough protein.
That it just matters if he works out hard enough he should lose weight I kind of laughed and said that’s completely wrong and that he’s not even getting enough protein. He just said ‘Whatever dude, you’re talking out of your butt’ and walked away.
I don’t know, maybe I should’ve just kept quiet, but sometimes you need the hard truth. So AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Defending My Older Sister?
“I (28 F) have a twin sister Wendy and an older sister Anna (31).
Wendy has a daughter under 5, I have two kids under 5 and Anna has 5 kids. Her first ones were twins and I believe the last two were surprises which is why she has so many.
They’re all boys under 10.
Anna is a wonderful mother. She was told that she would never have children and I’m pretty sure she’s had two miscarriages but clearly, she defied those odds. But yeah, she’s always been very ‘motherly’ and her husband is pretty much perfect as well.
Anna treats all her kids equally and makes time for all of them despite having a job. She makes sure they’re loved and also well-behaved. The boys are obviously very happy and sometimes I wish Anna was my mom. Haha.
Anyways yesterday was one of my nephew’s birthday and he had apparently asked for a Pokémon-themed birthday and Anna and her husband went all out.
Lots of his friends were there too and it was just impressive.
Wendy was there but I noticed that she looked really annoyed. I asked her what was up and she just sighed and said it’s nothing before giggling to herself. Eventually, she came up to me and said ‘Do you plan on having more kids?’ I said no because I’m done personally and she went ‘Ah so you’re not insane like Anna.
Good.’
I asked her what she meant by that thinking she was just joking as we all (the 3 of us) have made similar jokes before but she just went ‘Only selfish people have more than 2 kids. It’s unfair to the children as they don’t get equal attention and it’s just a massive red flag when a family has more than 2 children.’
I told her to pull her head out of her butt because we both know that Anna would never do anything to her kids. Those boys are all happy and love their mother (and father) to pieces. I know we don’t see what’s behind closed doors but Anna recently told me that she hasn’t felt so happy in years.
There is literally 0 evidence of Anna showing favoritism, selfishness, etc.
Wendy just went ‘I’m just saying… I can barely handle my one kid, I really doubt she can handle all 5 of hers. See how extra this party is? It’s all just to compensate and make people think she’s a good mom.’
I got really annoyed because while no mother is perfect, Anna is a good mom. I just don’t really appreciate shaming mothers unless they are actually terrible people either.
I told her that this just sounds like a you-problem and she needs to check herself because she was definitely projecting.
Wendy rolled her eyes and called me a jerk before leaving with her husband and daughter. She also isn’t responding to my texts. My friends say Wendy had a point and I was the jerk and should apologize but I don’t know.”
9. AITJ For Defending My Son From My Niece And Sister?
“I (45 M) have a son (10 M) who loves the show MLP (My Little Pony). He has a few toys, some T-shirts, and posters from the show. We moved recently due to a new job and want to be closer to the family.
My ex is not in the picture due to personal reasons. It’s been hard raising my son as a single father, but I am doing my best. I love my son and raising him to be respectful to others. My sister (48 F) lives about 15 minutes away.
We were really close growing up, but my sister never approved of the idea of me raising my son alone. My son is attending the local school and loves his new friend group. My niece (11 F) attends the same school as my son.
I have been receiving calls from school that my niece and her friends have been bullying my son and his friends.
He likes to bring a pony toy with him to school to keep in his backpack as it makes him happy. Son came home crying from school that my niece broke the toy and threw it in the trash. I was furious and scheduled a meeting with the school and my sister.
My sister thinks it’s them goofing around and having fun. Counseling was suggested and my sister thought the idea was ridiculous. When we were leaving, my sister pulls me aside and says maybe you should have my son watch something more appropriate for boys. If he had a mother figure, there wouldn’t be any issues.
I look at her and say you aren’t any better than my niece.
My sister was shocked at my response and my parents reached out to have a stern talk with me about my son’s interest in a girly show. They also suggested that I apologize to my sister for my comment.
AITJ for telling my sister she is no better than her daughter?”
8. AITJ For Letting My Sister Report The Server To The Manager?
“So yesterday my sister May and I went out to eat and decided to just go eat where my partner ‘Ella’ works (she’s a server).
We had our appetizers and things were normal then this random dude ‘Henry’ came up to the table and asked how things were.
It was obvious he wasn’t a manager (they had different colored shirts on) so it was just weird that he was asking but whatever.
Then 5-10 minutes later he came back and asked if I was May’s partner. She laughed and said I was her brother.
He said, ‘Aw that’s nice. Brought your little brother out to lunch’. I asked Ella who he was and she said a busser.
Some time passed and I laughed at something May said, Henry came back and said ‘Hey he’s having a good day out at (the restaurant’s name) just laughing away, what an exciting day for him’.
He just kept loitering around the table, butting into our conversations repeatedly. I was trying to ignore him but he was annoying May too.
Whenever Ella came by the table he came over too and just stood there. She told him to go away and he would but he’d come back 2 minutes later.
He made a comment to May after we got our food that ‘maybe her little brother should’ve ordered from the kids’ menu’ (I’m 22 so obviously too old for a kids menu). May wanted to say something to him right then but I talked her out of it because Ella works there.
Then when I was paying he tried taking the book with my credit card and said ‘He’d give it to Ella’. I refused to let him and said I’d wait for her.
When we left May said she was calling the restaurant. I said not to but she said ‘No if he did that crap to us he’s done it to other people.
If one of my staff (she and her husband own a business) acted like that I’d want to know’.
Ella called yesterday after work and apparently, Henry got yelled at by their manager and got in Ella’s face and said ‘He was just joking around we need to learn to take a joke ‘.
That he blamed her because the manager said he was on his last strike before he was fired.
Ella said that I should have stopped May from calling because now her coworker is mad at her and as a server, it’s harder to do your job when you annoy your busser.
AITJ for not stopping my sister from complaining about my partner’s coworker.”
7. AITJ For Wanting To Be Reimbursed For The Cookie?
“A local place near me is famous locally for their cookies, they’re a general bakery but called something like, ‘Karl’s Cookies’. And one of their menu items is ‘The Big Cookie’, a four-pound cookie monstrosity that’s free (with a T-shirt!) if you eat it within an hour.
My friends (early 20s) and I (22 M) had tried this once or twice before, but never really seriously attempted it. Two days ago, though, we went there and I was actually really, really hungry, and decided to give it an earnest try.
‘Karl’ himself brought me my cookie, and I got to work on it.
He started the timer app on his phone and walked away. Y’all, I really did my part with that cookie; it was super close, but when there were only a few minutes left, I was almost there. Karl had checked in on us periodically, and when there were only a few minutes left, I was still working on it.
He went to deal with some customers, but almost immediately after he left (with two minutes left!) I finished it. We tried calling him over, but he was too busy with the customers to get there right away.
Eventually, he arrived, but just took out his phone, and showed that the stopwatch was over an hour by almost two minutes.
I told him that I’d finished it well over two minutes ago, and my friends all backed me up; it wasn’t our fault he wasn’t by us when the timer stopped. He told us that wasn’t how the contest worked, and we went back and forth on it for a while, both of us almost screaming after a little bit.
Finally, he reimbursed me and gave me the T-shirt, but at that point, there was definitely a bad feeling in the air.
I don’t really know how to feel, now that a few days have passed. I know I definitely finished that cookie within the hour, but I don’t know if it was worth causing a scene just to get reimbursed for a cookie.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Being Upset That My Son And His Wife Didn't Tell Us That My Grandson Had Already Been Born?
“My son (23) and his wife just had a baby boy. Everyone is overjoyed and excited but there have been some issues that have risen recently.
When my DIL was pregnant, I suggested that I host a welcoming party for my grandson right after she gets discharged from the hospital. I’ve made arrangements and even emptied a room for them to stay but for some reason, she was against it and said she’d rather spend the first few weeks at home with her newborn.
not only that but she said no to the welcoming party. My husband and I talked to my son and he said ‘We’ll see’.
But just a couple of days ago, we found out that my daughter-in-law had given birth 2 weeks ago and no one knew about it.
My nephew told me and I immediately called my son, and he confirmed it. He and his wife lied and then hid the date of birth from the family. I told him this was not acceptable, lying just because they didn’t want a welcoming party and love and support being given from family.
I told him I was disappointed because for one… he ruined our welcoming for our grandbaby and also, I invited family members and they’re all rightfully disappointed as well. He said it was his last resort after I kept pushing and made his wife uncomfortable but that was not appreciated because.
We were just trying to celebrate the new family member in a proper manner. We had an argument and he ended the call by saying I ruined his joy for his newborn. My husband started texting him since he stopped replying to our phone calls and now is threatening to block my nephew for tattling but I think that my nephew was decent enough to inform the family.
Otherwise, God knows how long my son and his wife were going to hide their son just to keep us at arm’s length. We’ve always been kind and welcoming to my daughter-in-law and her family, I don’t why she would do this and disrespect the family like that.
On the other hand, some family members see it as a justified action because we insisted on the party.”
5. AITJ For Bringing My Son To My Aunts Birthday Party?
“My sister ‘Julie’ has tried to have a baby for 5 years. She had a miscarriage 2 years ago and outside that, has been unable to get pregnant. My heart hurts for her.
However, one thing I don’t agree with is how my family has handled it. We’re not allowed to talk about babies around Julie. Any kids younger than 3 can’t come to family events that she’ll attend. She won’t attend baby showers, baptisms, etc. The last one I understand, but the rest feels overkill.
I got pregnant last year. I told Julie first and she reiterated her boundaries. I said I understood. The first hurdle came with my baby shower. My MIL was throwing it. I didn’t expect Julie to come. Then my mom told me I shouldn’t have one period, ‘out of respect’.
I said that was ridiculous. She didn’t have to come so what did it matter? Only 3 people from my side of the family came to the shower.
When my son was born, I posted a birth announcement on social media. My parents lectured me about this and said it was going to hurt Julie.
I said she could just block or mute me. They said I should make the effort. Julie echoed that if I cared, I’d stop. I ended up blocking her just to save the drama.
My aunt’s 70th birthday party is next week. My husband and I planned to go, bringing our son.
Julie called and asked if we were going. She then asked me to get a sitter for our son. I said no. She doesn’t want to miss the party. My aunt is one of the few people who agree that Julie’s boundaries aren’t fair and wants my son there, as she doesn’t get to see him often.
Julie got upset and started crying, saying that I was unfair.
I finally snapped and asked what would happen when she got pregnant. Would we all be expected to shower her with the love and attention she’s refused to give other people’s kids?
Will her baby be allowed to attend events? She said that was different. I said no, I’m not coddling her anymore. My son exists, he’s family and he’s coming. She can decide if she wants to or not.
My parents yelled at me for being mean to Julie.
They offered to pay for a sitter but I said no. It’s not even her house. AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Thrift Shopping When I Have A Tesla?
“I went thrift shopping this morning. My husband (30 M) and I (38 F) are expecting our first child in a couple of months so I’ve been getting stuff for the baby.
I hate paying retail prices when I don’t really know what he will need… I also hate being wasteful and the ecological impact… so I’ve been buying some of his onesies and the like from a not-for-profit thrift shop in my area. I’ve been ‘thrifting’ since college – whether Poshmark or brick & mortar thrift shops – and I’ve never thought anything of it if the stuff was nice and well priced.
While shopping I started chatting with another lady who was pregnant and shopping for her coming little girl. We were laughing and having a good time enjoying our deals and excitement over our babies. We were going back and forth about the good deals we had found (like I got a very lightly used Pottery Barn crib online… she got a glider still in the box from a different thrift shop…)
We both finished and went to check out. As we were walking out I was getting ready to invite her to coffee when she saw my car and she said in a weird tone ‘You drive a Tesla?!’ I wasn’t really sure how to reply except ‘Yeah, I really like it’ and moved on.
Her demeanor changed instantly like I had done something truly horrendous. She read me the riot act about taking advantage of thrift stores and charity when I clearly don’t need it, that I was robbing the poor, and asking me how I could dare do that.
I had never seen it that way. I just thought of it as not being wasteful and supporting a good cause. I apologized for offending her and told her I did not see it the same way… but the conversation ended with her telling me to eff myself and storming off.
So, AITJ here? Is there a certain income level or point where it is unethical to buy secondhand?”
3. AITJ For Telling My Neighbor That Her Baby Is Not My Responsibility?
“My husband (20 M) & I (20 F) live next to another couple in their early 20s who just recently had a baby. We’ve lived next to them for the past six months and at first, we were neighborly with them. After about a month of being neighborly with them, they started asking us for favors every two weeks, and when we could we gladly obliged and helped them if we had the time.
The favors ranged from taking them to the grocery store or dropping my pregnant neighbor off at her doctor appointments because they don’t have a car. However, the week after her son was born it’s like she was demanding a favor every day, and again of course if I had the time I would happily oblige.
I will admit I was getting frustrated because I have a life, a husband, and a job, and I’m also currently in school.
About a month ago, I was up to my witts end with the favor demanding it seemed like I was taking care of their three-month-old infant more than they were but I didn’t want to say anything to keep the peace.
I tried to ignore her phone calls and text messages when I was busy at home but my neighbor just started knocking at my door if I didn’t answer in a 10-minute time frame. Then my husband and I took a month-long vacation to our hometown because we had a death in the family.
Midway through our vacation, my neighbor messages me asking when I’m going to be back to take her and her son to their weekly doctor’s appointments, and since they hadn’t been to their weekly doctor’s appointment in two weeks child protective services got involved. Insinuating as if it was my fault, that’s when I completely lost it, I messaged her telling her if child protective services are involved it’s because she lacks good parental skills, I also went on with telling her that they had nine months to prepare for their baby, to get their finances in order, to save for a vehicle, etc.
I got so heated and reminded her that this was her baby that she birthed and taking care of him is not my responsibility, and she can’t dump her infant on me whenever she wants to go out and do something. My husband says I was a little too harsh in expressing myself, and I could have been nicer about it.
My neighbor’s husband has asked me to apologize, but I don’t think I did anything wrong in telling her the truth. I will admit I messaged her this in a fit of rage but I felt as if all of this was building up in me for the past months.
I feel like I finally set my boundaries with my neighbors and I personally don’t think I did anything wrong. So am I the jerk for finally standing up to my neighbor?”
2. AITJ For Wanting My Mom To Kick Her Guests Out?
“My parents have gone to this church since I was a kid, & throughout my entire life people from the church would take advantage of them. 5-6 years ago this family from the church approached my parents and asked if they could stay with them while their new place was being built.
My parents said yes – the family had 5 kids, 2 parents so 7 guests total. They never bought their own food/toiletries and none of them ever cleaned up after themselves. They were there for EIGHT MONTHS until my parents finally said they needed to find a place as soon as possible.
We still have no clue whatever happened to this place that was ‘being built’ because the next place they went to was a family member’s home (they are still living there to this day).
Anyways, a month or so ago, a couple who is friends with that family approached my parents at church.
They said that the husband (let’s call him Chris and we will call the wife Jen) has tinnitus ONLY at their apartment and they need somewhere else to live until ‘their new place is built’. My parents said yes and the couple moved in THAT SAME DAY.
It’s been about a month and they don’t cook or clean for themselves either, and they brought a dog that my mom has to dog-sit all day while they are at work, which is a pain because my mom has her own elderly dogs, and chickens that the guests dog is constantly trying to attack.
I am 4.5 months pregnant, and even though Jen doesn’t have any kids, every time I see her she tells me how to eat and how to parent. It’s important to note that my husband and I both grew up at that church, but we both have never gone back as adults and aren’t Christians so we are known as ‘black sheep’ so you can imagine that her unsolicited advice is all God stuff & condescending.
My plan since I got pregnant was to have a home birth at my parents’ house.
After long consideration, this was both my and my mother’s plan all along. I was worried that Chris and Jen would be out in time for the baby in November, so my mom brought it up to them and kinda let them know that they had to be out by then, but in response, they suggested I use a birthing center that Jen found online.
At this point, I just know that they don’t have intentions to leave anytime soon, and my brother is upset because he knows that this is yet another case of my parents being taken advantage of, but my parents refuse to see it. WIBTJ if I told them that I will visit again when Jen and Chris move?”
1. AITJ For Not Letting My Mom Use My Brother's Bedroom Without His Permission?
“A few weeks ago my brother left for summer camp, he locked his door behind him. Now he has an extra key in case of emergency or we need to access his room for whatever reason.
My mom, however, took advantage of that and uses his key to let my sister sleep in his room whenever she wanted without his permission.
Then finally, after my sister had accidentally wet the lower bunk of his bed, I told my mom what she was doing was not okay, I locked his door and hid the key until he comes back to receive it in his hands.
Now today, my parents asked me to unlock his door so they could put his now clean mattress back in his room.
I still refuse to give my parents the key as I don’t trust them to let his space stay locked up. So I went and got the key, unlocked the door, told my parents that I had unlocked the door, and put the key away.
I guess my mom wasn’t listening to me because a few hours later she yelled at me to open the door and I told her it was still open and would remain open until tonight.
She went to the door and immediately freaked at me.
Apparently, last week, she had slid a $20 bill under his locked door and didn’t tell me. I hadn’t noticed, and when my mom checked then, it wasn’t there.
She blamed me and said I stole the money and to give it back right now. She said it was all my fault she had to slide it under because I locked the door.
She full-on freaked out and swore and basically said every fun painful thing a child can hear in a 2-minute span. Then she found the money somehow on his desk, put it away, and still blamed me.
I told her she needed to apologize for how she just spoke to me.
She instantly refused and we proceeded to have a yelling match where she said everything was my fault and I can’t keep her and my sister out of her son’s room. And I told her she needed to apologize, the way she spoke to me was not okay, and that she can’t just use my brother’s room without his permission.
So after my dad revealed he had heard me and put my brother’s money on his desk. I walked away, holding back tears, and wrote this. She still refuses to apologize so I really have to wonder.
AITJ for taking control of my brother’s bedroom lock?
Or like, just for this whole situation?”
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