GammaG
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His mother is mentally ill and he has grown up believing her delusions are real. He doesn't know differently.
Consider this, you marry this guy? Your children will be learning these same things, he believes them to be real.
I think I'd say she got it from my husband's side of the family so there's not much I can do about it.
I completely suck at giving gifts. I can stand for hours in a store and be in tears, trying to figure out what to buy. I don't give bad gifts because I don't care, I give bad gifts because I don't do well in that area.
When do I get it right? When I have a close relationship with that person. When I've spent time with them over years, been there through the good and bad, when I've hated them and loved them in the same 5 minutes numerous times.
I know them, I know them intimately. They know me that way too. It's not that they don't care, they don't know you. Not on that same level.
I suggest you let them know you would rather get together throughout the year in shorter activities. Invite them to see a movie. Call them and say let's go get a burger, the meals aren't very expensive. Don't invite them on your dime every time. Don't set yourself up.
When separating say something along the lines of you had a good time, you are enjoying having a chance to know them better, ask them to invite you to things coming up if they like. Open the door for growing a relationship.
No one can get a thoughtful and meaningful gift for a stranger, and it seems like ya'll are strangers who share family members and b***d. Attempt to change that. If it works? You have sisters. If it doesnt? You know you put yourself out there and tried, you really tried.
Honestly! I would NOT expect a person recovering from surgery to be out shoveling snow. But their spouse isn't helpless. If they don't have a shovel you might buy them one for a holiday.
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