People Get Emotional In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
21. AITJ For Buying McDonald's For The Tenant's Kid Who Helped Me?
“I have a tenant who has 5 kids. She also moved in with a baby daddy whose income is not calculated for Section 8 benefits as he isn’t supposed to be there.
One of the kids is 12 and I will call him Sam. The guy my tenant moved in is not Sam’s dad. Every time I work at the house, such as when I remodeled both bathrooms at the tenant’s request, Sam has hung out with me.
He helps a little and he learns about the tools I am using. Sometimes he is a little annoying but he does help by doing things like handing me tools. He always wants McDonald’s to help. Once in a while, I get it for him.
One of the kids destroyed a plaster wall and destroyed his bedroom door. I have removed the plaster from the studs. At the baby daddy’s request, I have installed sheets of plywood in the walls so it will be easy to mount a TV. I had outlets added and put one high for the TV.
I replaced a duct stack register vent too. I will install a new solid wood door to replace the destroyed door. The entire room will be painted. I will not charge the tenant anything for these repairs.
Yesterday a kid kicked another bedroom door completely off the hinges and broke the frame out of the wall.
That will cost $200 to fix and days to paint with primer and 2 coats. At least I get rid of the hollow doors this way.
Sam has hung out with me all day today and helped by handing me tools and generally just being around. I cut my finger and he got me a bandaid within a minute.
That sort of thing. He wanted McDonalds. He asked his stepdad if he could go with me to get it but he was not allowed to go. He is never allowed to go with me except once. Nothing about not getting it though and I have got it for him before.
I got him a Big Mac meal and brought it back. As I was leaving, his stepdad was yelling at him. He didn’t like that Sam got McDonalds and the other 4 kids didn’t. The other 4 kids were not helping and were mostly just screaming at their gaming computers the entire day.
Plus, one of these kids is actively kicking in the doors.
I don’t think it is a good idea to punish a kid for working for something he wants and it certainly isn’t a good idea to take away rewards that get a kid to work.
AITJ for rewarding a kid who worked with me for 4 hours?
Edit: Sam said he didn’t have breakfast and I was there over lunchtime and I didn’t see him eat anything. And he gave me a bottle of water. Sam is pudgy though so he must be eating something.
Tomorrow is his birthday as well so I sprang for more McD than I normally would.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You rewarded Sam for his hard work and helpfulness, which is a fair acknowledgment of his efforts. His stepdad’s reaction seems unfair given Sam’s active participation compared to his siblings” DiamondDivaDaze.
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but it’s time to have a private chat with your tenant. Remind her that Baby Daddy is not on the lease or covered under Section 8 which means he does not have the right to live in the property. Therefore he does not get to make demands or requests.
If he runs his mouth again, phone calls will be made.” Flat_Contribution707
Another User Comments:
“NTJ You did a good deed. What entitled person assumes that someone is going to buy all of their children’s food? Especially brats that kick down their doors and damage property.
I’m curious why you’re not kicking them out after they’ve caused this much damage?” NukaGrl
20. AITJ For Yelling At My Dad After He Disrespected My Deceased Friend?
“My (25) friend I’ve known for 11 years but turned into an online friendship due to distance tragically and suddenly passed away in her sleep 2 weeks ago.
She was 25, left behind 3 children, one who is under a year old. Her partner was meant to be proposing last week.
She was one of the most amazing mothers I’ve ever met, she inspired me to want to be a mother. She was funny, loving and kind.
I had no idea this had happened as no one had access to her Instagram and I don’t use social media.
I saw this on the news at 1 am today. No funeral as the autopsy is being done. I feel devastated. I’m heartbroken for her family.
I told my parents as it was now 8 am and I just couldn’t sleep I was restless and wanted to visit my mum.
My father started questioning me when I was telling my mum about what type of person my friend was.
“Well you’d hope she’d be a mother wouldn’t you?”
“Hmmm why is it on the news seems weird.”
“So weird to go goth at your age.”
I’m just standing there justifying things about my deceased friend whose kids are grieving whose partner is grieving who has little siblings who are grieving whose parents are grieving and I could feel the anger in my building. (Me justifying myself is a pattern)
He starts going on about how there’s a silver lining to appreciating your family.
I said “I don’t want to hear that, she’s passed away, she’s 25 and passed away and her partner woke up to her passed away and her kids don’t have a mother, I just don’t agree please”
He then in an agitated and condescending tone REPEATED what he’d just said, then added “You’d think this type of thing would make you give a care but you don’t” Which is where I lost it and might be the jerk.
I brought up how when his mother passed away he milked it for the last 2 years and everyone tiptoed around him and cared for him and was compassionate but he couldn’t even respect a boundary the same day I found out. And then I finished it by yelling that he was a jerk.
I left and he followed me outside trying to fight but I just kept calling him a loser until I got in my car and left.
My parents are blowing up my phone and my mum is very angry I didn’t stay to “teach him why what he said is wrong” I said he’s a grown man and it’s not my job and he knows how to act with anyone else.
Angered everyone off and I’m being called a jerk.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your mother is angry at *you* for not staying to set *her* husband straight? If she can express her anger to you she can do the same to him.” CatteNappe
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. But your caption is poorly worded. He didn’t try to find a silver lining. A typical silver lining would be “At least she’s not in pain anymore”. He tried to make her death about what he wanted and expected out of you. That’s the issue.” remix
Another User Comments:
“Absolutely NTJ. So so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a lovely person. Maybe in the coming months/years, you can write down some of the fun memories you have of her for the kids to read when they get older. Your dad is a real jerk.
It’s not your job to teach him how to empathize or be respectful, and he wouldn’t listen even if you kept trying rather than very justifiably calling him out and leaving. You did the best thing possible in getting out of there and taking care of yourself in your grief.
19. AITJ For Crying Over A Doll I Bought With My Own Money?
“So I, a 16-year-old girl, am supposed to celebrate my birthday in less than two days.
Last week I went out shopping with some friends and I’ve saved up some money from a small part-time job for a while because I just wanted to get myself something for my birthday.
For some reason, while just walking around an old toy shop, some old “Monster High dolls” seemed to have caught my eye.
They’re the ones from 2016 that don’t even sell anymore and they were surprisingly cheap (They’re around $42 in my currency and the same from back then and sell for more than that now). I remember how I always wanted one as a child and my parents couldn’t afford it because they were too expensive.
I couldn’t resist the urge to buy it. It just made me feel so excited inside.
Once I got home, I just wanted to tell my mother about it and that’s where I messed up. She got extremely mad at me for spending so much money I wouldn’t even play with and saying how selfish I was for using such a ridiculous amount instead which I could’ve used to pay for my after tuitions which they’re paying for.
Saying my little sister would’ve thought of them first. My father started accusing me of stealing their money and when I told them I earned the money by working, they simply responded that since I live under their roof, it’s their money. My mother took the doll away and said she’d give it back to me on Friday.
I was reflecting on the situation and I admit it was quite selfish of me for acting like that.
I still tried to apologize for my mistakes numerous times and my parents did forgive me at some point. However today, I asked my mother where she hid the doll and she simply responded by saying she’d returned the doll since the receipt was with it.
I didn’t believe it at first and started searching the house. My sister in the end confirmed it. I know it was just a doll and was quite meaningless but it just made my heart ache and I ended up crying over it. My father called me childish and said that my reasons were ridiculous.
They told me I should just grow up and******* up since the world doesn’t have to give in to my every want.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. They won’t even give me the money back. They always have to find a way to make my birthdays miserable but then I can’t blame them.
So, AITJ for crying over a doll?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. When you earn money, it’s YOUR MONEY. You are a minor in your parents’ home; it’s their job to take care of you. Not to steal your earnings or possessions you buy with those earnings.
I’m sorry your parents are so cruel to you. You should have been able to buy whatever you wanted for your birthday with your own money. There is nothing wrong with having nostalgia for a toy you used to love. Next time, save your money and keep it hidden for when you can be independent of them.
Your parents are not going to make it easy.” ParsimoniousSalad
Another User Comments:
“Your parents are incredibly mean. This post brought tears to my eyes. I suspect that almost every adult has some little or large item that they enjoy, from jewelry to an old truck.
They had no right to take your doll away, and then keep the money. It sounds like you have had a rough life, OP. I’m so sorry. You need to start planning an exit strategy from your home and to try and detach yourself from the cruelty that you don’t deserve.
When school starts, ask the guidance people if you can get some counseling from them to deal with perpetually angry parents. For now, check out the various relationship subs for ways to deal with difficult people, which your parents are. The grey-rocking technique would be hard for you because you still live in their home, but not telling them anything more than you need to would probably help you.
Don’t apologize to them, they don’t deserve it. NTJ.” Swedishpunsch
Another User Comments:
“NTJ and I’m sorry they have the mentality that the money you earn is theirs. It is not. You are not responsible for funding your sister’s tuition – they are. You are not selfish for getting a job, earning money, and buying yourself something that you want.
What your parents did is legally theft. I would advise you to make sure as much as possible they have no access to any of the money that you earn.” crochetandmead
18. AITJ For Expecting My Friends To Pay Their Share After Losing Our Football Sweepstake?
“During the Euros football tournament that has just finished, I have been a part of a sweepstake with my partner, and several of our friends and their partners (6 in total). Each person committed £5 each, with the winner getting the pot. Each person randomly drew 4 teams (the top 6 teams in the competition were drawn first, then the next 6, etc.) I drew Spain, who ended up winning.
We agreed in advance that no one would hold onto the funds and that everyone would pay the winner directly at the end. Yesterday (Monday) morning, I shared my payment details in our group chat and said that if anyone wanted to send funds differently, to get in touch.
I did get 2 people to send their portion over by lunchtime, but early in the afternoon, one of the guys, and shortly after his partner, both sent messages in the group saying that while they were happy about the result, they weren’t going to be sending over any funds.
My partner and another friend immediately called them out and said that it wasn’t part of the deal to not send over their share of the pot. They responded that because England had lost to Spain, ‘no one wins’, and that paying anyone to ‘celebrate’ an England loss wasn’t fair.
As I was at work, I wasn’t able to respond at the time these messages were being shared. By the time I was back on my phone, I’d received a message from another friend (one who’d already paid) saying that the final member of the group had told them that they were not going to pay out either and that I’d just have to deal with it.
I messaged the group overall to say that it was a shame some people weren’t playing by the rules we’d agreed, especially when they knew I’d have sent the funds over to whoever won and had done so the last two times we’d had a sweepstake like this (to note, this was the first time the couple was taking part; the final guy had taken part before, and to my knowledge, had paid out previously).
About an hour later, both my partner and I found that we’d been blocked by the couple, and the final person had left the group chat 5 minutes after I’d sent my message.
It’s less so missing out on around £15 that I’m bothered by, but more the principle.
We agreed on £5 as this was a suitable amount to ‘lose’, so I don’t believe that anyone wasn’t keen on paying because of financial limitations. Regardless, clearly some people have an issue with this, so if I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, I’m not too stubborn to apologize.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, drop these “friends”, if they are that cheap that will withhold 5 pounds after agreeing to participate and now are looking for any ridiculous excuses to bail out of their promise then you never will be able to trust them with anything.
This is also why when you do something like this then you pay in advance, and one person who everyone trusts keeps all funds until the winner is known and the funds are given to them, this way nobody can bail out as they have already paid.” forgeries
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – what does loyalty to England have to do with it? A bet’s a bet. I often bet against my favorite team because I bet with my head, not my heart. NTM, yours was a random sweep anyway. Even a ruthless mafia godfather, John Gotti, understood this.
Gotti used to lose a lot of funds gambling. One day, one of his underlings asked him, why do you pay? If you told them to go annoy themselves, what could they do? You’re a mob boss. Gotti replied, “Hey when I win the bookies pay, when I lose I pay and that’s the way it goes.
My reputation is worth more to me than the funds.”” IcedLenin
Another User Comments:
“What a load of mean people, this is why you put cash upfront to stop people being snakes and backing out as they would have been first to cry foul if they didn’t get their winnings.
NTJ If you guys go out for drinks for something and it’s their round make sure they buy you a drink, and on yours don’t buy them anything for payment of them not paying up. I want to call them a bunch of mean people.
But could be too harsh.” ashyjay
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You found out very cheaply how trashy those “friends” are. You’ve got nothing to apologize for. I can guarantee if the sweepstakes had been set up with a requirement to pay upfront those same people would whine the loudest about how “don’t you trust us to pay up?” Life is too short to surround yourself with people like that.” joe-h2o
17. AITJ For Refusing To Eat Fish Despite My Boyfriend's Pressure?
“I (F31) have not eaten fish since I was 1 year old.
By “fish”, I mean anything from the sea – fish, shellfish, etc. I’m not allergic, but according to my parents, I got sick after eating fish once as a child, and have refused it ever since.
As a kid and teenager, the smell of fish would make me feel nauseous, so I’d avoid the kitchen when my family was cooking it.
They would try to accommodate me by cooking fish when I wasn’t around. When I moved to university and had to share a kitchen, I couldn’t be as picky about the smells and gradually got more used to it (though I still dislike the smell of raw or cooked fish).
Coming from a coastal town in Europe, fish is a very common part of the local cuisine. My friends and family have always been annoyed that I don’t eat it. They constantly try to get me to try different fish and seafood dishes, insisting I’m “missing out.” My family and partner pressured me to just “grow up” and start eating fish.
I’ve tried a few things like fried calamari, salmon, and canned tuna, but I remain disgusted by the idea of seafood.
I acknowledge this is a psychological aversion, not based on taste. I don’t want to force myself to eat something I find so unappealing.
People have all sorts of food preferences – why should mine about fish be an issue? I don’t judge or impose my choices on others. At home, I simply don’t buy or cook fish, but my partner is free to enjoy it (and cook it himself).
The main conflict is with my partner (M 31). While fish isn’t his favorite dish, he loves sushi and paella. Paella is typically for two people, so he was frustrated when we were in Spain and he couldn’t order it. (This only happened on a trip with only the two of us, there were multiple other trips when we were with friends and he could have his paella).
Now, as we plan a trip to Japan, he’s pushing me to try sushi, which I don’t want to do. I’m happy for him to indulge in it, but I don’t want to be forced. I might try a small piece to make him happy, but I know I’ll never fully enjoy a sushi meal the way he wants.
I am happy to spend a few meals separately when he can go to a sushi restaurant and I can find somewhere else to eat. He says that I am being unreasonable and I should just start to eat fish; I say that he is being unreasonable, and I am not preventing him from eating fish on this trip (or ever in life)
AITJ for not forcing myself to eat fish?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Many people have food aversion after being ill after eating it. This is your life, your body, your choice of what to put into it. Don’t be forced to do something you do not want to.
Someone who loves you and respects you will not force or pressure you to do something you do not want to do. He is a big boy he can eat what he wants and has no right to make any comments. You may want to rethink a partner who would make you feel bad about food.
It is shaming you, you do not need that noise.” SliceEquivalent825
Another User Comments:
“NTJ And I don’t know why this is a thing but all my life I have been in your shoes. I don’t like fish. All seafood has a ‘fishy’ taste and smell to me and I just don’t like it.
Why does that bother people who are not affected (I don’t insist they don’t indulge when with me, I just insist I don’t want any) but it bothers people. Even people who are picky eaters themselves think they can just insist I ‘try this’ or tell me I’m missing out.
All other food preferences are respected but ‘no fish’ seems to make them crazy. You are willing to eat with someone who wants to eat fish, and go to restaurants that serve things other than fish -and that is enough. People, even your bf, need to respect this is something you don’t want to eat.
Your choice – they are the selfish and disrespectful ones to try to insist or belittle you. ” Cakeliesx
Another User Comments:
“I’m afraid this could be one of those situations when, after enduring the same mistreatment from so many people for so long, it starts to sound normal to you and you start to second-guess your own decisions.
It should be crystal clear to you that *no one can force you to eat things you don’t want to*. It could be an allergy, it could be just a matter of taste, it doesn’t matter: you eat what you want to eat, you dress what you want to dress, you do what you want to do with your body.
Please stop for a moment to think if this food issue with your partner isn’t just the tip of the iceberg of other types of mistreatment NTJ.” RelevantSchool1586
16. AITJ For Calling A Video Game Character Attractive And Getting Kicked Out By My Partner?
“I, 24F, have been in a relationship with my partner, 25M, for almost three years.
Before now, our relationship had been going very smoothly. No major fights, no jealousy, no reason for distrust. He had my social media passwords and I had his; we had nothing to hide because we trusted each other.
My partner and I met at a gaming convention in our city.
Video games play a huge part in not only our lives but our relationships as well. My partner loves games like Fortnite and Overwatch while I enjoy more RPG-like games such as Pokemon and Persona 5. My partner and I like to play games together, and also watch each other play games.
One day, I was playing Persona 5 and I made a throwaway comment about one of the characters, Goro Akechi. I said, “He’s kinda fine, not gonna lie.”
I thought the comment meant nothing. My partner, however, stood up and left the room without saying a word.
I thought it was a little odd, but didn’t think much of it and kept playing. My partner didn’t return to the room for the next two hours while I played. After I finished playing I went straight to bed because it was late and my partner wasn’t in bed.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of things being moved in our house, a truck backing into our driveway, and people talking downstairs. I immediately noticed that none of my things were in the bedroom, and there were cardboard boxes stacked neatly in the corner.
I went downstairs and lo and behold, everything I owned was being packed up and put into boxes by a fleet of movers. A lot of things were already packed, so the movers were just moving the boxes out and into the UHaul that was waiting outside.
When I asked one of the movers what was happening, he told me that they were called to move my things out and into another house, which turned out to be my mother’s place. I had no idea what happened, as I had forgotten about the comment I made the night before.
Fortunately, my partner had left a note on the counter explaining his decision.
He talked about how he felt underappreciated in our relationship and how my comment the night prior was just the sign he needed to know I would be unfaithful. He told me to not bother contacting him, as he was breaking up with me and kicking me out of his house.
My keys were on the counter with the note, and the house key was removed from the ring. Perfect.
Now I’ve been living with my mother, unsure about what’s going on, none of my texts going through to any of our friends. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“He’s threatened by an imaginary animated character? Yikes. Buddy needs to grow up. His moving you out without a word of warning was cruel and despicable, but if he’s the kind of person who would do that, you’re well rid of him. If it wasn’t this completely trivial comment, it would have been something else.
He’s a jerk with zero communication skills. If he was feeling underappreciated, he should have talked to you about it instead of going nuclear with no warning. NTJ. I’m sorry this happened to you.” refer
Another User Comments:
“Your partner likes Fortnite and Overwatch, red flags already.
On a serious note, what you wrote is the actual truth and this is an out-of-nowhere reaction then NTJ, on the other hand, his note at the end says he feels underappreciated makes me think there were other issues that you’re either not mentioning or oblivious to, either way you weren’t a good match but in the case there’s more that isn’t posted here ETA him for kicking you out with no notice, you for not realizing something was so wrong you could get kicked out over a nothing burger.” Zigolt
Another User Comments:
“What the actual heck? He needs therapy. Sorry about that, just know you are not weird or unfaithful for calling a fictional character “hot”. Unless you are not telling us about many bad things that you did to him, there is nothing to explain his behavior other than a HUGE lack of self-esteem and a fear of being unfaithful, again..
he needs therapy if this is how he handles “breaking up”. Plus, not telling you a word and moving your things without saying anything is messed up.” Melu-Sins
15. AITJ For Not Wanting To Reimburse My In-Laws For Their Failed Surprise Vacation Plan?
“So, my in-laws have wanted to go on vacation with my husband, me, and our kids ever since our first child (10) was born. I was always against going together, while my husband felt indifferent towards it but supported me in my wishes.
His parents are nice people, but they do like to control everyone around them and a vacation with them just would not feel like a vacation at all.
For this summer, my husband and I had booked a rather expensive family hotel, and got insurance so we could cancel, should something better come along.
His parents asked for our travel details, which we did not find strange, because my husband always shares these things with them anyway (they pretty much have to know every little detail of all our lives).
Last week, my husband and I decided to change our plans.
It’s still three weeks until our vacation. We felt a bit bad about the hotel we had booked initially but it is very popular and as far as I know,
they already had a waiting list anyway. So far, so good.
Yesterday, my in-laws were at our place and when we told them about our new plans, they blew up.
Apparently, they had wanted to surprise us and have booked the same week at the same hotel. They don’t like the hotel or the destination, but they finally wanted an opportunity to go on a family vacation with us. They also haven’t gotten any insurance, so if they cancel now, they will still be charged about half the price.
They are not poor, but they are both retired and losing this kind of money will hurt. They don’t plan on going without us. Of course, my husband’s side of the family is now mad at us and blame us for everything. Choosing such an expensive hotel, changing our plans and also for not agreeing to go on vacation with my in-laws in the first place.
They say, we basically “forced” them to be sneaky about it.
Here’s why I think I may be the jerk:
My husband wants to reimburse them. Admittedly, we could afford it, but I still don’t want to. I say they need to learn their lesson, or we will be dealing with this scenario every year from now on.
However, my husband’s siblings say I am the jerk, because in the end, my husband will be suffering. Knowing my in-laws, they will hold this against us for years to come and it will be an uncomfortable topic on every family event. I’ve learned to ignore them, but my husband has been conditioned to cater to their needs and feel guilty if he doesn’t.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – You’re not financially liable for this mistake, and neither is your husband. This, for your in-laws, is an unfortunately expensive lesson to learn about boundaries and pushing themselves into somewhere they aren’t particularly wanted. Tell the siblings calling you a jerk they’re more than welcome to cover the losses, if it’s such a big deal to them.” PerceivedDepth
Another User Comments:
“You’re NTJ. They decided to surprise you by showing up to your vacation unannounced and uninvited, so they could satisfy *their* want to vacation together. Terrible idea. This is on them, not you. “However, my husband’s siblings say I am the jerk.” Then they can loosen the pursestrings and contribute to their parents’ presumptuous folly.
“Knowing my in-laws, they will hold this against us for years to come.” Look at the bright side, at least they won’t want to vacation with you now.” Dittoheadforever
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You didn’t even know they had planned to show up, so how can you possibly be to blame?
It was a “surprise”, no? You chose hotels, destination, etc. based on your desires and budget. And showing up at someone else’s vacation is a huge overstep of boundaries. I’d be careful about sharing details of future vacations with them. That said, I think you need to consider what type of relationship you and your husband want with them going forward, before you decide what to do.
If you both care about the relationship, maybe bite the bullet and plan a vacation with them? Keep it short, close by, low cost, and do it knowing it won’t be much of a vacation for you. Either way, I don’t think you should reimburse them for the money they lost. By doing that, you’re taking responsibility for something that is their fault and like you mentioned, might incentivize them to do it again.” Fickle_Pickle_3452
14. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother To Stay With Us After Rehab?
“My brother has been struggling with addiction for over a decade. We have never had the closest relationship but keep in touch often.
He has a small child and a wife who travels for work.
Over the last ten years, he has moved from state to state collecting DUIs, spending a couple of nights in jail, and losing his job time and time again. The situation has escalated in the last few years to involving child protective services as he uses while home with his child.
Extreme measures have been taken by other family members in the past to help him stay sober that have not been successful.
He and his family recently moved to our town from out of state (their decision to move close to us was not a discussion but a “surprise”).
Within a few months of their move, the police and child protective services have needed to get involved.
My husband and I have had to intervene on a few occasions so far including housing his child, picking him up when police have found him using, and physically trying to stop him from using which resulted in an altercation.
He eventually had to be removed from his home due to potential child endangerment.
He will now be completing a 60-day rehab program. Child Protective Services says he is not allowed to return home once he completes his rehab stay since he’s not allowed to live with his child yet.
There’s currently no set timeline on this restriction.
He has asked to stay at my house when he leaves rehab. I live with my husband and 10-month-old baby. When he asked me, he said that his sobriety depends on being able to stay with us so that he’s not alone and can hopefully see his child.
His other options are to stay with family that lives out of state so he would not be able to see his child, find a sober living program nearby, or stay at a hotel (likely short term only due to cost) or homeless shelter.
Another option that has been thrown around is for my husband and I to take in my brother’s child so then my brother can live at home.
I have concerns that he could relapse while staying with me. If the state doesn’t think it’s safe for him to live with his own child, then I don’t think it’s safe for him to stay with my child. I’m also not in a place that I would feel comfortable taking care of his child if it came down to it.
AITJ if I don’t let him stay with us even though he’s taken steps towards sobriety? AITJ for not being able to take care of my brother’s child if needed?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ … trust is earnt back not given in this situation.
You are not responsible for his sobriety. The fact he’s saying you are means he’s still not taking responsibility … his life is tough because of his own actions. This is NOT your responsibility and don’t let him guilt you into anything. If he can’t stay sober without manipulating you, then he can’t stay sober.
I hope one day he can.” heather20202024
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – Decisions have consequences. Trust with you has already been lost, now he has to earn it back. He can’t expect to just move into your home. His situation and his choices have already taken up so much of your life.
Why should you let him take over your life and family entirely?” I_Will_in_Me_Hole
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your duty is to protect yourself and your family. His sobriety is dependent upon HIS choices, not housing, visitation, court orders—he alone determines what he does next in life.
If you are truly conflicted, ask your pediatrician about the situation and how it could impact YOUR child. Hard truths of life: you can’t save anyone who wants to drown. Holding yourself down does not EVER lift others up. He needs to want to swim and work to swim—and you need to keep your own family away from danger.” SlightlyCrazyCatMom
13. AITJ For Not Offering My Room To My Nephews After They Ruined Their Air Mattress?
“I(20f) am on vacation with some of my family at my mom’s vacation home. The family pertaining to this story includes myself, my mom, my brother, my brother’s wife, my niece(11f) and my brother’s two stepsons (6m and 8m). They also have an infant together, so 4 children total. Infant is staying in brother and sister-in-law’s room.
Sister-in-law’s sons are difficult children. They are mouthy, do not listen, and she does not make an effort to control them. They also have intentionally hurt my dog(pulling her fur, pinching her, etc..) But that’s beside the point.
My mom’s cabin has 4 bedrooms total. The master(my moms room), downstairs bedroom one(my room), downstairs bedroom two(brother and his wife’s room), and then a smaller bedroom that adjoins to the bedrooms my brother is in, where the kids are staying.
The adjoining bedroom has a futon that my niece is sleeping on, and an air mattress that belongs to my mom that sister-in-law’s sons are sleeping on.
Arrangement worked fine for the first week we were here. But yesterday, I walked past the room the kids are in and saw the two boys jumping on the air mattress and trying to launch each other.
I popped my head in and was like “hey don’t do that you’ll break it.” They ignored me. Later that day the two boys come running into the living room saying the air mattress had a hole in it. What a surprise.
Obviously the mattress deflated and is now unusable.
I figured the kids would all share the futon or assumed their mom would figure it out, since her sons were the ones that broke the mattress in the first place.
I overheard my sister-in-law talking to my brother saying that I should have offered to give up my room for her boys.
She said I could easily sleep with my mom and now her sons have nowhere to sleep because I “was selfish and rude.” I’m genuinely shocked, nobody asked for my bedroom, was I supposed to read her mind? And no part of me wants to share a bed with my mom because her children are out of control and can’t listen.
Why should I have to? I said nothing and acted like I never overheard the conversation. The 3 kids ended up all staying on the futon, zero issues and they seemed fine doing that. I stayed in my room.
The mood is just soured now, even though sister-in-law doesn’t know I heard her saying that.
She’s acting rude towards me.
So, AITJ for not offering to give my bedroom to the two boys?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ “I should have offered to give up my room for her boys Why because you’re single? Why doesn’t she give up her room?” her sons have nowhere to sleep because I “was selfish and rude.” Her kids were doing the whole let’s be kids thing but ultimately it’s their fault….
“The 3 kids ended up all staying on the futon, zero issues and they seemed fine doing that. They’re kids, they largely don’t care. Unlike sister-in-law…. “She’s acting rude towards me. Didn’t have the courage to ask you or talk directly, will still take it out on you by acting all upset…this is the type of person who annoys me the most” ReviewOk929
Another User Comments:
“Honestly you’re a nicer person than me because as soon as I heard her say that I would have said. “Listen I’m not giving my room to them because I told them kids to stop jumping in it that it was gonna break.
They ignored me and now they don’t have that bed to sleep on. It’s their fault and now they have to learn to deal with the consequences. Why not let them sleep in your bed”. I would have walked away. Some people don’t learn.
My children never jumped on their bed I also taught my children not to misbehave when at anyone else’s home so my kids wouldn’t have done that anyway. But still if they did they would have slept on the floor. I would have bought another air mattress to replace what my kids broke.
She sounds disrespectful if you ask me” Public_Particular464
Another User Comments:
“I’m a bit cynical this way but I think this is just a display of dominance by your sister-in-law. If she can assert dominance then she can ensure her kids get more of the family resources, maybe by taking some of yours.
In other words, her assertion that you are being rude or selfish, bears no relationship to reality. It’s just her pretext for trying to get your room for her kids. In other words, you can ignore it.” Reasonable-Sale8611
12. AITJ For Telling My Partner To Get A Real Job And Stop Relying On Her Comedy Career?
“31 M and my partner is 28. She and I have been together for 6 years and have been living together for the last 2.
Going to attempt to keep this short so please ask for details if I leave something out.
My partner has always enjoyed doing comedy and has done open mic nights since we’ve met shortly after college. She had a real sales job though that was her Monday-Friday 9-5 job where she made decent money.
I have a good but hard job and make almost triple what my partner was making when she had her job. I said ‘had’ because last August she quit her job because it was taking away from her comedy ventures. She told me a year from now she thinks she can really make it.
I was a bit skeptical but since I make enough to support us, I encouraged her because I want to be a supportive partner.
Since she quit her job, she began doing Uber and DoorDash, which is where she makes 100% of her income. Her comedy has gotten us zero dollars.
Over the past few months, I have started to resent her though. She constantly complains she has no money, yet drives for Uber or DD maybe 3 times a week for maybe 4 hours at a time. I have been paying a lot more for household expenses and I’m not saving as much as I’d like to anymore.
She sleeps til noon because sometimes her open mics run real late before she even gets to perform. And when she gets up she just bums around on TikTok and YouTube looking for “inspiration”. She also gets very moody with me if I don’t come to 90% of her open mic performances.
Even after working a 14 hour day she will get mad if I don’t go to her open mic at 11 PM on a Tuesday.
Last night, I did the unthinkable. I asked her to consider going back to a full-time job. I said she should still do her comedy but I’m struggling with taking care of our expenses all by myself.
When she gave a dismissive answer, I told her firmly that she will never be a famous comedian. I said she’s 28 and it’s time to grow up and join the real world because this is totally unfair to me that I bust my rear while she lives in La La Land.
And that she can’t be this naive at this age by thinking she’s going to support herself with this.
She stared at me in silence for a few minutes, started crying and went to stay with a friend. She called me a jerk and I’m the worst friend ever.
She has not answered her phone today yet.
So am I a jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk, mostly her. Yes, she is clearly not putting in her fair share with work and bills and your frustration over having to handle most of the expenses while she pursues her comedy ventures is justified. But you really lost steam towards the end.
While I realize you make some good points that message got warped when you completely blew up and demeaned her.” applebum8807
Another User Comments:
“No jerk here. The reality is people are flawed. You are frustrated taking care of a grown adult who is content freeloading off you while she sleeps til noon and barely works part-time.
So your anger boiled over and you said some harsh things. If she wants to be a comedian she can work a full-time job and make her dream a side gig. Just like she would have to do if she had to pay her own big girl bills.
It’s been almost year. Time to grow up pay them bills. For me it’s not even an ultimatum. My partner would have to get a job that pays bills and 1/2 the rent or we would be done.” Unicornfarts68
Another User Comments:
“No jerk here.
She had a vague “plan” of being able to live off of her art after giving it a full-time go for a year. That year is almost over and she’s not making any money from it. It also sounds like she’s not really doing as much as she could on this if she’s got a lot of time to play on her phone, etc. She is bringing in some money in the gig economy but 12h a week of probably minimum wage is obviously nothing in comparison to a very time-consuming, hard, and well-paying job.
You agreed to support her for a year. That year is almost over. Time for her to get a job again, one where she brings in a good amount so that she’s not just living off of your earnings.” wandering_salad
11. AITJ For Telling My Competitive Sister She's Never Been My Rival?
“I 24 f have a younger sister 22 f.
My sister has tried to compete with me for as long as I can remember. My family is pretty athletic. My parents, older brother, sister, and I all played sports in high school and college, though not the same. It wasn’t abnormal that my sister wanted to sign up for the same ones as me.
Everyone thought it was cute that she wanted to do the exact same sports as me. Later it also became band and debate team. Everything I did, she had to do.
That itself isn’t the problem. My sister is super funny, always a hard worker, and generally a great person.
The problem is she always did this to compete specifically with me. She made it known even when we were on the same teams that her mission was to out-score or out-race me. Even if she came second to last, as long as I was last, she would be happy.
Even grades. She always got solid As or A- but I got As or A+. She was more interested in my GPA than her own. Her problem is, that never happened. Not once in almost 15 years. She’s talented and a great athlete, but she could never beat me.
I really didn’t care. To me, she was just like every other girl on the field/pool.
It died down when I went to college. I went to a private school on an athletic scholarship full-ride. She decided to go to the same school and join the swim team as well, but she didn’t get a full scholarship, which was the first blow.
My parents thought it was sweet. I knew it would be a problem on the first practice and she said something like, I’m not second best anymore. Like okay good for you. Just swim faster than the other team and I’ll be happy.
Fast forward to this past 4th of July.
We had a barbeque at the lake and she asked to race her for old time’s sake. We were just standing around I wanted to swim and said sure. I swam pretty leisurely. I didn’t care if she won. I was just wasting time. I still beat her back to shore and she didn’t speak to me for a while.
Then she said we should change our wedding days to the same day to see who more people choose. I told her I just needed my fiance and the priest, which my family agreed with. She said I was no fun. I said, no this lifelong nonsense is no fun.
It’s exhausting. She said deal with it because I’ll always be her competition. I said that’s funny because she’s never been mine.
My family says I went too far.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but your sister’s obsession with beating you sounds unhealthy. And it sounds like everyone always encouraged this because they thought it was ‘cute’.
It’s not cute, it’s disturbing. She needs to build her own life and be proud of her own achievements instead of comparing.” Slayerofdrums
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your sister needs to see a professional for her unhealthy mental health issues. Your parents failed your sister.
Their silence encouraged this crazy competitive behavior. Have your wedding on the same day? This is actually demented and twisted. You were right in what you said. She has never been your competitor because you are not playing her sick games. Shame on your parents for saying you went too far.
Next it’s going to be who gets pregnant first, who has the cutest baby, whose baby walks or talks first. This is just sick to me.” Unicornfarts68
Another User Comments:
“If you’ve been honest in everything you’ve said, NTJ. Your sister has an extremely unhealthy mentality.
She wants to turn everything between you two into a competition because she’s never viewed you as an elder sibling. I’m gonna assume that your parents encouraged this competitive nature, and since your sister lived in your shadow, she views you as a rival she has to best in everything, which apparently includes milestone events and life in general. You on the other hand, at least present yourself as someone who doesn’t care about competition between individuals, but as someone who cares about the overall results of the team.
Now the way you said it, it sounds pretty harsh. Maybe you should’ve said something like “I’ve never seen you as competition, I’ve always seen you as my sister” or something like that. But your sister ultimately needs to know you’ve never seen her as competition.
Honestly, she needs therapy, because wanting to compete to see who would have more people attend their wedding on the same day is extremely unhinged. She needs help.” Turkeysocks
10. AITJ For Reporting A Teacher Who Berated My Goddaughter Over A Candy Dispute?
“So I, am a registered guardian/godmother for a family member of mine, and was called in because the parents were unable to make it.
I love her, and she is very close to me, she’s young, in early grade school, and at the age where kids have little fights all the time, and this is nothing new. She got into this argument with a friend of hers over some candy, where there was an uneven amount of treats leftover from post-bake sale prep and she and her friend were arguing about who should get it.
My niece, being who she is, decided that she wanted to remove the point of contention and just threw one in the garbage so that she could split them evenly and in her words, “remove the thing that was making us fight.” Granted, she is 7.
Her friend didn’t like this and reported her to the teacher, who berated her to the point of crying, saying that she should have a. not wasted the food, and b. brought the issue to her, instead of taking her liberty to resolve the situation poorly.
Her parents are out of the country, so when she brought the slip to sign, I looked at the typed-up incident report and asked for an interview because the situation was bonkers and I didn’t appreciate the way she made the kid feel. Should she have thrown the treat in the garbage?
I don’t know. But that was not a warranted response. I tried to email the teacher, who responded curtly, saying that these were the classroom rules. I tried to explain that I didn’t mind her enforcing the rules, but that she should have spoken more kindly to my goddaughter.
She replied that she wouldn’t be lectured on how to treat a child by a child (I am a legal adult, but am young). A lot of stuff happened after that, but long story short, I forwarded everything to the principal and got my goddaughter’s class changed, and she had to sit through some classes on communication and got her name taken out of the running for some promotion.
Fast-forward 3 months, her mother’s on the PTA, and she is getting grief from some of the other people for having the “godmother from heck” who threatens teachers. Her mother knew what was going on and was fine with what I did, though did say “I really can’t blame you, you have a tendency to go hardcore when it comes to the kids.”
Thinking back, I don’t know if what I did was the “right” thing, or if I should’ve taken a chiller approach, especially since it cost her a promotion for what might have been a one-off bad day.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Extremely unprofessional and insulting language by an educator, you did the right thing.
Teachers are of course entitled to think whatever nasty thoughts they want about a parent or guardian, but expressing such thoughts naturally comes with consequences – if it doesn’t then this teacher may be emboldened to behave like this more. It can be hard not to feel guilty about how your decision led this teacher to suffer, but that is not guilt you need to be carrying.
This teacher should feel guilty for insulting you in this way!” Sir_Prized
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, kids should be treated calmly, if they make some mistakes you talk to them calmly and in a good tone of voice, if you make them cry they might get traumatized and maybe stop school or worse develop anxiety over that thing.
If you are a teacher you should know that kids are kids and sometimes they act just how they feel, you should have more patience in handling kids” ameliaxponova
Another User Comments:
“NTJ I think for a 7 yo, that was a brilliant solution, and her thought to get rid of the thing they were fighting about?
Pretty ingenious. I’d need to know exactly what the teacher said to determine if she did indeed berate a child, because small kids may cry just because they get in trouble. The part about being lectured by a child is totally unprofessional and uncalled for.
If she had a one-off bad day she would have explained that to her principal and chances are they would have excused it as far as the promotion goes, so don’t feel bad about that. The communication classes are more to show they did something, or just maybe the admins thought she needed it.
Either way, it can’t hurt her to sit through them.” Mentalcomposer
9. AITJ For Taking My Sister's Cat While She Was On Vacation?
“This all started when my sister decided to go on vacation, she didn’t tell anybody except my mom. The only way I knew was from a couple of pictures from her private story.
I originally thought nothing of it, but I did start worrying about her cat. I called her and asked her who was taking care of her cat, to which she replied, “No one, don’t worry about it.”
How was I supposed to not worry about her cat after that?
I even called my mom and my dad to see if they could care for the cat since I lived 2 hours away and didn’t want to drive there every day.
They both said they were too busy to care for the cat, and that I should just do it instead if I cared so much.
Like I said though, I live 2 hours away.
I’m not sure what went through my head, but I decided to just straight up take the cat home with me. I messaged my sister that her cat was at my house, she left me on scene so I just assumed she didn’t care.
Literally a whole week later, I get woken up by banging on my front door. It startled me but I went to open it, I was greeted by my sister and my mom.
I assumed they were just here for the cat, and told them to come here so I could fetch him.
As soon as I brought the cat out, she went ballistic on me.
She was screaming about how I was a cat-stealer and took him without warning. I, of course, defended my name and told her that I messaged her I took her cat, I even showed her the message and the fact she saw it.
She of course was crying that she didn’t see it and that I must’ve installed something, not sure how that’d work.
After about 30 minutes of arguing my mom got fed up, and practically dragged my sister and her cat out of my house.
I thought it was over, until 2 days later, I got off work and immediately saw over 30 messages from close family.
I assumed someone had died by how many there were, but nope.
Turns out my sister just told everyone she knew that I stole her cat, which again I didn’t do. At first, I was just defending my name, but to be honest it kind of got to me which made me think maybe I was a jerk for taking her cat.
I told her where her cat was, and that she could come pick it up whenever, but I should’ve called instead or something.
So, AITJ for taking my sister’s cat?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ for you. Even if your sister left food and water for two weeks, for a cat to go into the same car box for two weeks is just cruel.
So unless she had a couple of spare cat boxes standing around, she is a huge jerk and doesn’t deserve a cat. And you are welcome to tell her that from me. I would tell her and your mom the same if I had the chance.” HikeTheSky
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. In my country, it’s illegal to leave an animal alone for 24 hours without someone checking on it at least once. It’s horrifying she thought it’d be fine to leave her cat alone for a week. Secondly, cats are meant to eat small amounts but often.
Their liver can get damaged if they’re without food for even just a day. It starts small (if you’re lucky), but the more it happens the worse it gets and it affects their lifespan. Your sister was highly irresponsible, and you did the right thing.
I would draft a message that explains the situation as shortly as I can and send it to everyone who messaged you. If they see you’re right that’s great, if they don’t they support animal mistreatment and I wouldn’t want to talk with them anyway.” Jatulintarha
Another User Comments:
“I don’t believe you are in the wrong here, this is just another case of entitled people getting pets and treating them like garbage. I feel as though they should be crying on their knees thanking you for taking care of their cat but they immediately made you look like the villain.
I assure you that you are mostly in the right, however, it might have been better to leave the cat in a place to stay. I forgot what they’re called but like a temporary shelter for people on trips and stuff, it might have been better for you to put the cat in there, leave the person the information, tell your sister, and move on.
Honestly that cat could be dead or nearly dead, I feel as though the sister committed animal mistreatment.” Syrupsiblings
8. AITJ For Cutting Contact With My Partner's Controlling Family?
“I (17 F) have been in a relationship with my partner (17 M) for nearly 2 years. I’ve spent a lot of time with his family, including both his parents and his massive extended family. They all seemed to like me a lot and he had reassured me that the family loved me, however, I always had a gut feeling that his mother (50 F) didn’t.
I brought gifts with me whenever I visited and always made sure to be extremely respectful to her and the family whenever I was there until his mother began targeting me after realizing that I wasn’t going to be leaving her son’s life.
For background information, his parents have always held him to high standards academically, often pushing him into classes well beyond his limits to please them.
He failed a test for one of these classes a few months ago and his parents didn’t seem to care. 3 weeks passed after this failed test and our birthdays came up, his mother decided the night before my birthday party that he was indefinitely grounded and not allowed to see me.
We suspected that she did this because of jealousy over not being invited to my birthday, however, the invite was open to everyone in both our immediate families, so the mother not coming was entirely out of her own will.
Fast forward to about a month later and his mom began making rude remarks about me to him, calling me obscene names, unprovoked. This behavior from her has carried on, and his mother has found every opportunity to make a rude remark about me.
Fast forward again to a week ago and my partner was once again grounded out of the blue when we had a trip planned. Since he was grounded he picked up extra shifts at work, doubles most days, until his father reached out to my mother and accused my partner of “lying about being at work” to sneak around with me.
Annoyed, I texted his father and said that I did not want my mom or myself to be involved in tracking him and not trusting his whereabouts. (I had been working night shifts and neither of us would’ve had time to see each other, even in secret).
After I texted the dad, my partner told me that his mother had been talking about me in their family group and saying things like “she’s out of her mind” and “not good enough for him”, and today I was told that his father no longer wants me in their house.
My partner’s cousin has had similar experiences with the immediate family and told me to cut contact, saying that they all treat “outsiders” this way and that nothing will change the mom’s opinion.
So, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ sounds incredibly manipulative and controlling.
Not seeing her is probably the best. If you and he are serious about a long-term relationship, I’d think very carefully about how involved you allow her to be in your lives. Especially after you two have kids (assuming you want to), her behavior will likely get much, much worse. I feel for your partner.
Growing up in that kind of household does a number on your mental health. He may need a lot of support and time to heal.” User
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Seems like your partner’s family is super controlling and he should leave home as soon as he is legally/financially able to for his mental health, and go low to no contact with mom for sure, and maybe his Dad too (who might be as equally controlling or could be his mom’s Flying Monkey doing her dirty work and being manipulated himself).” Gold-Advertising-419
Another User Comments:
“NTJ It’s not even you. And the girl your partner would be with would get the same treatment… it’s someone taking away her baby boy so his mother needs to be very controlling. She also probably realized you can’t be controlled by her and are nothing like her so she doesn’t want someone who has a mind of their own and can see how narcissistic and controlling she is.” KitchenDismal9258
7. AITJ For Being Upset About A Joke Gift From My Friends?
“About 4 days ago, two of my friends (19 yr M and 18 yr M) gave me (21 yr M) an inappropriate gift for my birthday.
I told them I didn’t want it and that I found it disrespectful. They said it was meant as a joke, that they thought that I would laugh, that I was overreacting and that I should see the gift in a different light.
I can only retell events from my perspective but this is some background info that I will try to produce as unbiased as I possibly can:
A couple of days before my birthday they called me saying that they wanted me to choose between a gift that I’ve been wanting for a while or another “mystery gift” they found (this one ended up being the inappropriate gift) that they thought I would appreciate.
I chose the latter.
Fast forward to my birthday and they forget the gift, but we still have fun and enjoy the day we aren’t able to do the final event for my birthday due to everyone being tired, I was pretty bummed about it but they reassured me that this “mystery gift” would make up for it, that I would truly appreciate it, and that they weren’t joking.
So those were the events that led up to my receiving the gift. After the gift opening, we argued against it. They were explaining to me that the gift should not be seen as a diss and that if they were in my shoes they would find the gift hilarious, that different groups of friends give each other these types of joke gifts all the time, that having a gift like this would be a keepsake as a fond memory or maybe a funny conversation starter.
I would respond by saying that we’ve never given each other gifts like this before or any joke gift for that matter so I felt that my reaction wasn’t an overreaction; I also told them that I understood that if they were in my shoes they’d find it funny but that I’m not them and I don’t see it that way, and that I don’t want this in my room, much less my house.
The main reason that I told them that I was upset about it was how they built up this gift to be a thoughtful gift that I would appreciate, and that maybe if they hadn’t done that, I would be less upset about it. They said that that was the joke and that they meant no offense.
When I asked for an apology yesterday, they said that they were sorry that I felt this way but that they weren’t sorry for giving me that gift because it was meant as a joke.
So am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.
Just toss the gift and let it go. They were trying to be funny and that fell flat but it’s not something so offensive that you need to get so worked up over. Be grateful it wasn’t something worse. You will probably receive several gifts over your lifetime that you won’t appreciate.
You have to learn to be gracious and simply say thank you. In the future maybe you should just pick the present you want and not the “mystery” gift.” Duin-do-gob
Another User Comments:
“NTJ if this is a gift you’d never laugh at, you have to wonder how well your friends know you.
I’m not saying to cut off the friendship or anything, but I’d wonder if it was for my benefit, to be a joke, or for their benefit to laugh at my expense. Some people would find this hilarious and your closest friends should know if you are one of them.” Mommabroyles
Another User Comments:
“Both NTJ, understandably it is a weird gift to give, but their intentions behind it were pure in my opinion, to make you laugh. And from the info you provided, they showed up to your birthday and you guys had lots of fun.
You say to yourself that they believed that this mystery gift would cheer you up. It didn’t, so things didn’t go as planned, and they apologized for how it made you feel. But I don’t think it’s unreasonable to not apologize for the gift itself after all they were doing it for you, to make you laugh.
Apologizing for the gift would be apologizing for trying to make you laugh. I wouldn’t dwell too much on the actual gift tbh, sure it was weird, but you’ve got a bunch of Friends who seemed overly excited about making you happy,—they care about you.” Global_Olive_8313
6. AITJ For Ditching My Best Friend On A Girls Trip To Hang Out With A Guy?
“I (25f) went on a girl’s trip to a small mountain town with my best friend of over 10 years and her 3 work friends. I quickly realized I was being judged for smoking and wanting to have a couple of beers at lunch.
I was the only one who smoked or drank and didn’t care to capture and record every minute of the trip. They only discussed taking pictures for the gram. My best friend has always been against my smoking, and this was the first time I smoked in her presence.
It’s a filthy habit I know and I’m trying to quit.
I was also the only atheist, and the trip included many religious sites. Initially, I accompanied them to these sites, quietly sitting and enjoying nature while they took pictures. But after being eye-rolled and talked to passive-aggressively for smoking (always far away from them), I decided to stop going to the religious sites and wait outside.
The others were very stingy with money, making things uncomfortable, like ordering only three appetizers for five people and waiting for buses instead of taking cabs. (Cabs were cheaper than a McDonald’s Happy Meal) By the end of the 2nd day, I was not feeling the best. We left a cafe, and I spotted someone I went out on a date with a few months ago.
We hit it off well but lived two hours apart so didn’t pursue it. I texted him, and he was excited to meet again. My friends decided to sleep in early, so I asked my best friend if it was okay for me to see him.
She said sure, so I went out and had a wonderful time catching up with this guy. He invited me to a party at his hostel, and I informed my friend I would be back later.
I ended up partying all night and crashed at his place for a couple of hours.
I returned to my hotel before 7 am, but my best friend ignored me and walked out of our room. Seeing her reaction, I decided to ditch the planned activities and informed her I’d see her at dinner.
I tried to reason with her and make good but she was in no mood.
She wanted me to follow everything she had planned which I had zero interest in whilst she would be completely passive-aggressive with me. I spent the rest of the trip with this guy, who extended his stay to hang out with me. I paid for all my expenses and didn’t completely ditch my friends.
I visited the same spots, stayed at the same properties, and spent at least 5 hours a day with them. I just went out to party at night when they went to bed early.”
Another User Comments:
“I didn’t know the other three people and I didn’t expect them to be so judgemental about small things.
I would not mind doing the same things that were planned if I was not treated the way they did and it was a healthy environment and fun. This was very out of character for my best friend. I was okay not drinking and just enjoying nature.
I had a hectic month at work and was looking for a relaxing time.” mustang
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. For best friends, you two don’t seem to like each other all that much. At least that’s just how it comes off in this story.
I think your friend is judgemental and a bit rigid, which is why I think she’s a jerk. But I’m also not sure why you even agreed to a trip you had no interest in. Did you not know any of the plans ahead of time?
You are a jerk for ghosting the rest of the group for the remainder of the trip.” applebum8807
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Seems like your friend and her workmates did very little to include you or make you feel comfortable. You even held up your end of the bargain and paid your portion of the expenses.
Seems like they wanted to judge you for not being like them. Nothing wrong with you hanging out with another friend, they’re asleep anyway so why would it matter.” User
5. AITJ For Yelling At A Stranger Who Approached Our Tents Late At Night Claiming To Be Injured?
“I (24M) and my friend (23F) went camping together for the weekend. We enjoyed the outdoors and noticed that the weather would be nice so, we decided to go camping for a night.
It’s worth mentioning that this campsite is fairly secluded so, unless someone else intended on camping at this specific spot I wouldn’t expect anybody to come out there.
You have to walk a ways off the trail to even access it.
It was around 8:30PM and we had started a campfire and made some hotdogs. As we were eating we heard walking maybe 10-15 yards behind us. We had heard twigs crunching earlier but it’s the forest so we didn’t think anything of it but this was blatant walking sounds.
I got up and looked around and my friend told me to sit down and ignore it. I wasn’t scared or anything, I just thought it was strange that someone would be hiking out here this late. Usually to camp you come at least in the afternoon, not dark.
I didn’t see anything and we sat up for an hour and then went to bed. We had been lying in our tents for about twenty minutes and then I heard the walking sounds again except they were definitely in our campsite, not near it this time.
I quickly unzipped my tent and saw a middle-aged man wearing cargo shorts and a flannel by my friend’s tent. He was already looking at me, he probably heard my tent unzip, but I still decided to yell and ask what he was doing. My friend unzipped his tent and got out and the dude in the flannel put his arms up and started apologizing and saying that he was hurt.
I could see him well cause of the firelight but I couldn’t see every part of him like I could if it was daytime. I asked what he was doing by our tents and he said that he cut his side while hiking and needed help, he saw a light coming from our side of the woods and came over to us.
I yelled at him to leave and told him to not come near us again and that if he did we would call the police. He apologized and walked away and my friend told me to calm down but I thought it was strange.
He very well could have needed help but why come up to someone’s tent late at night and not announce yourself?
I also didn’t see any b***d from what I could tell so I don’t know it was just strange.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If I was out in the woods and night and needed assistance, having the police show up would probably help since they would have both basic med supplies and would be able to give me a lift back to the ranger station if necessary.
Plus, I would be loudly approaching tents and calling out my need so they didn’t pop out of their tents with a weapon.” NeptunianCat
Another User Comments:
“NTJ He was creeping around and he could have and should have made himself known AS he was approaching/when he was in the distance and you heard twigs breaking.
I definitely wouldn’t have felt comfortable sleeping there after that either. If he was injured, he should have lifted his shirt to show the injury – but he chose to walk off after getting caught approaching (and potentially entering) your friend’s tent. It was extremely suspicious and your friend needs some serious survival skills/basic caution.” chaenukyun
Another User Comments:
“NTJ if he was actually injured wouldn’t have been calling out for help? Sneaking up to someone else’s campsite and then claiming they are injured sounds weird. Also, OP said they would call the police. If I was in that situation and wandering around the woods at night while injured and I run into a stranger who says they’ll call the police I’d be like “Yes!
Call the police please! Tell them to bring medics!” The fact that he just wandered off is also weird. If he was actually injured why walk away? It’s nighttime, he’s injured and wandering around a random campsite. Why not stay there until the police/medics get there?
Why keep wandering around in the dark while injured? If it was me I’d be fine with waiting a decent distance away.” FrostyIcePrincess
4. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Change His Greasy Work Pants Before Getting In My Car?
“So my (33F) partner (27M) works at a chicken restaurant and often works the deep fryer, as a result, his work pants are often very dirty, literally caked in deep fryer grease and god knows what else in some places.
I often give him rides to and from his work because he doesn’t have his driver’s license. The passenger seat of my car keeps getting stains, and I am trying to keep it clean, especially now that I am planning to trade the car in sometime in the next year.
In the past, I have asked him to change into cleaner pants before getting into my car when I pick him up from work. He usually does this with no issue.
I offered to give him a ride to work this morning since it takes him about an hour to walk.
As we were putting our boots on to leave I noticed he was wearing his dirty grease-caked pants and asked him to change into cleaner ones before sitting in my car. He proceeded to freak out saying that he doesn’t have time to change back into his work pants when he gets to work without being late.
I told him he would not be sitting in my car seat in those filthy pants. He still refused to change his pants and decided to walk to work instead which would make him about 40 minutes late. We got into a screaming argument because I was like “Why are the only 2 options you wearing your dirty pants in my car or walking and being 40 minutes late?
Why are you choosing to be 40 minutes late instead of simply choosing to change your pants and maybe be a couple of minutes late???” and he screamed about me choosing my car seats over him being at work on time. I was going to give him a ride I only wanted him to wear cleaner pants while he was sitting in my car.
He left and walked and sent me the following texts:
“This is ridiculous. Because of your nonsense, I’m late again. This is the most messed up thing you’ve done. Don’t text me back. Don’t talk to me when you get home just leave me alone tonight and do whatever you want.”
“I can’t believe you chose a car seat over getting me to my job. I would never do that to you if I had a car but you don’t seem to care when it’s important to me.
“I’m not doing anything for you for a while, wake yourself up.” *I often ask him to make sure I’m up when my alarm goes off because for a while I had an issue with sleeping through my alarms.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ you asked, offering a simple solution He was immature, choosing anger and fighting instead of rationality. Maybe because he was having a bad week, is worried about something, I don’t know. If he’s always like this I’d be worried. Another solution would be to put an old towel on the seat to take him to work.
If this makes him offended, you should better move on.” Independent-Web-4807
Another User Comments:
“NTJ I would run away from this ungrateful, unstable gross loser as fast as possible Also, I’m annoyed if I get some breading on my pants, how is he pouring so much oil all over himself at work?
I’d be making fun of him if he worked with me. As well as being annoyed by the fact he smells. Gross.” Quasar006
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s the jerk. Put a towel down using the same seat side every time. It lives in your trunk in a bag and is the “seat towel” for your partner.
Your partner being late is also his fault, not yours. He could have chosen differently or been leaving early already so he didn’t need a ride and wasn’t late, but he chose what he did and then blamed you. He is taking out his poor planning on you like it is your fault, but it is his job to get himself to work, just like it is your job to wake yourself up.
You need to find an alternative to him as an alarm and he needs to take responsibility for getting to work. Used bikes are inexpensive. If he can walk, he can bike to work.” Ok-Classroom5548
3. AITJ For Wanting To Replace My Bandmate But Keep His Partner In The Band?
“I’m a singer and soloist so for live gigs, I had to get myself a band. The first person I approached was a girl from my Uni (she was one semester ahead of me so we never really spoke back then), let’s call her Sarah.
I’ve changed the band several times but Sarah has always stayed and we quickly became friends. Then a guy, let’s call him Johnny, joined us and it’s been the 3 of us for a while. Johnny and I were really good friends during uni.
Since it was a time of health crisis, we were the only ones taking in-person classes for a while and we became friends. I appreciated him as a friend. He introduced me to more people and we used to hang out as a group after school all the time.
He would call me during summer/winter breaks just to check on me (which I low-key hated because I hate phone calls but still appreciated that he cared) and we would always have deep conversations and stuff.
Shortly after the 3 of us started playing together, Johnny and Sarah started seeing each other (if it matters, they met because of me).
It was fine at first but eventually, they became one of those annoying couples that think they only need each other and cut everyone else out of their lives. Johnny specifically stopped being a good friend to me (and to everyone else for that matter).
Now to the main issue. The “professional side”. Johnny’s music production business started to gain a bit of traction and I was super happy for him. That is until he started going all diva on me, overcharging me for the gigs and treating me like a “client” (and not a very important one).
Now we can’t ever rehearse because his “schedule is full.” He will take days to reply to my texts and stuff like that. We’re both in the same industry and we both know how hard it is. I’m not asking him to do me any favors or to work for free, I’m just asking for him to see me as a friend and not as a client.
Sarah has become a bit like this too, but when it’s only me and her I can tell she doesn’t mean it, that it’s just Johnny’s influence. Plus I value her as a friend and as a musician. So with all that in mind, I’m thinking about replacing Johnny with someone else.
This is not the WIBTJ question. I’m okay with replacing Johnny, he’s been hard enough to work with lol. The thing is I would love to keep working and being friends with Sarah but I’m afraid she would consider me a jerk for “firing” her partner.
Would I be one?”
Another User Comments:
“The first part is clear NTJ. But you asked what Sarah would think and that’s difficult. You meant that they are in a relationship where they only need each other and have already cut out other friends because of that.
As well as Sarah taking on Johnny’s bad nature. Knowing that I think it’s very likely that Sarah will think YTJ. And if she doesn’t think that Johnny will probably make her. But all this is very speculative. I think your best chance of success is to talk to Sarah directly and alone about your plans.
Then it’s more likely that she’ll take it positively and maybe she’ll have tips on how Johnny can understand it better without seeing you as a jerk.” sinschin
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Is he in the band or are you a client of his? It was a little unclear in your post. Anyways, regardless of whether he’s in the band and can’t make practice, or you’re a client of his for music production and he’s not prioritizing what you need to get done, it’s perfectly reasonable to let him know that professionally it’s not working out.
If you plan on trying to contain a relationship with Sarah I definitely would recommend NOT using the term or verbiage “you fired”. Just explain to him that while you are happy for his continued success and understand it means that he no longer has the time to dedicate to the project, you’re going to go in a different direction and that you wish him luck.
Sarah may or may not want to stay in the band but that’s entirely her choice and not one you can do about that.” Adriennesegur
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but I don’t think there’s a way you can keep her and not him. Maybe you should gradually introduce someone else as “Johnny couldn’t come so we need someone to fill in” and test the waters like this.
If Sarah’s on board with it. Talk privately to her about making this change permanent once she acclimated herself with this new person and then cut off the guy. It’s still a very slim chance tbh.” Common-Truth9404.
2. AITJ For Wanting To Name My Baby After My Dad Despite My Mom's Objections?
“I (22) and my husband (24M) are expecting our second baby boy in 2 months. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3 and my mom has made it clear she does not like my dad and never misses an opportunity to bring up his shortcomings.
My dad doesn’t speak badly about my mom, he doesn’t even ask about her. They’ve both been remarried for years. I live in the same city as my mom and 3000 miles away from my dad who lives in our hometown but I have a much healthier relationship with him and my stepmom.
He’s always been an active part of my life and we talk and video chat multiple times a week.
For the situation: My husband and I are leaning towards giving our son my dad’s middle name. It’s our way to honor him and it’s also a classic name.
My mom and I speak once every few weeks and when we had our most recent phone call a few days ago she asked if we had any names picked out. I let her know that we were planning on incorporating my dad’s name and she started crying and yelling at me.
She said that I was going to name my kid after a deadbeat and I should name the baby after her husband instead since he was around me more (my dad was in special forces and was deployed often until I was 15). She then told me that she would never call our son by his name because that would be triggering for her and it would break her heart to know that he’s named after my father and that it would be unfair to her.
I asked if something happened that I didn’t know about and she said no but what I know should be enough not to push it. I have never heard any story that would warrant this reaction.
He is/was far from a deadbeat. We haven’t spoken since but both my husband and I received texts from my stepdad and a cousin with name suggestions and links to baby name ideas.
I called my maternal grandmother today to ask if my dad ever did anything to her knowledge to cause this reaction and she said no but since my mom is upset I should listen to her and not use my dad’s name. My husband thinks she is jealous of the bond I have with my dad.
I feel stuck in a weird spot because I have a very strong and healthy relationship with my dad and would love to honor him but I’m getting a lot of pressure from my mom’s side of the family to drop it because my mom’s upset.
So WIBTJ for naming my baby after my dad?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Your mom is using every trick in the book to guilt you. She has a history of bad-mouthing him and putting him down and your grandmother and mom even acknowledge that there are no hidden secrets that warrant such a negative reaction.
Your mom is being incredibly unfair. If you have a great relationship with your dad and you want to honor him, great. I do recommend making it his middle name that might placate some of the issues and your mom can still use your son’s first name without being “triggered” (getting tired of people using this as a manipulation tactic).” TheSciFiGuy80
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Only you and your husband get a say in the baby’s name. There is more to the story, at least from your Mother’s perspective, as it pertains to her relationship with your Dad. There is also a difference between quality time spent with a parent versus quantity of time spent with a step-parent.
Her issues with your Dad are not your problem and, unfortunately, your Mother is making this an issue with you. Maybe suggest she see a therapist if she finds a name so triggering? Also, lay down the law if that is what you’re naming your son.
My mother hated the name my husband and I picked for our first daughter but you can bet your butt she calls my daughter by her name. If you give her an inch, she’ll take a mile.” ChunkyPillow
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. This is why my husband and I didn’t share our name choices until the baby was born.
Before that, people are much more comfortable sharing opinions and trying to change their minds. I’d tell her that you will think about it, but that ultimately it is you and your husband’s decision and you won’t be discussing name ideas with anyone else anymore.
She will get upset, but I’d hold that boundary. It is 100% within your rights. If your dad was not abusive or demeaning, and it was more of a “the marriage didn’t work out and we went our separate ways” type thing, then any issue is on your mom, not you.
She needs to work through whatever causes such a strong reaction. You are trying to do something beautiful to honor your dad.” Key_Baby5561
1. AITJ For Not Wanting To Attend A Family Trip I've Never Enjoyed?
“I 18F am the eldest of 3 and am currently living at home with my parents. I graduated last year and had a massive fallout with my friends from high school following our school trip.
I haven’t had a very active social life and haven’t gone out much in the last 6 months unless it’s been with family or my partner. It wasn’t until February when I started uni that I met new people that I would now consider some of my best friends.
Outside of uni, we have only managed to hang out once, as we live a good 3+ hours away from each other. Recently an opportunity popped up when my family told me they were planning on going to a country town for the annual field day.
This is something that we haven’t been to in 5 years due to various reasons, meaning I was 13 and 14 the last time we went. This field day is something that I’ve never enjoyed and previously had no choice but to do. Since turning 18 I’ve been told that I don’t have to attend family holidays or outings and even thanked on occasion for when I do.
I regularly spend weekends at home or out to dinner with my family, while my 17-year-old sister goes out to parties and gathos. I haven’t missed any major holidays or outings since I turned 18 and had the opportunity to do so. This is the first and only time I have ever said that I don’t want to go on a family trip.
When I first voiced this a month ago I was told that that was fine. But now that it’s less than a week away from this trip I am being told that this is the last opportunity for us to do this as a family of 5.
This is the same argument I was told back in Easter when I had an assessment due and asked if I could stay behind while they went away.
Tonight when I asked for what I think is the 5th time over the last month, if I was able to have my friend over while they were away, I was met with the previous argument that this was the last time we would be doing something as a family and told that I was being selfish because this is important to my dad that I go.
Previously I would just give in and go but I’m kind of over being told that I don’t act like an adult but not given the chance to do adult things.
It feels like I’m being guilt-tripped into going even though it’s the last thing I want to do.
It’s not even about me having a friend over either – it’s because I’m saying I don’t want to go.
Now they’re saying I can’t stay at home if I don’t go and need to find somewhere else to stay while they’re away.
So AITJ for not wanting to go?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Simply put, you are an adult now, and they told you that it’s up to you if you would like to go or not. You chose that you don’t want to go and they said that was fine in the beginning.
If they had a problem with you not wanting to go, they should have said that when you had time to prepare. And now adding that it’s the last time that you’d be able to hang out as a family of five… Why is that true?
Just seems like your parents want to keep you on a short leash and I apologize that that’s happening. Not the jerk.” dr_pepper_addict5678
Another User Comments:
“NTJ -It sounds like you have expressed yourself clearly. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go.
I don’t understand why you are being asked to stay somewhere else when they are gone since that’s your home as well. It sounds like they are trying to manipulate you into going. Are you living at college during the year and then home during breaks?
If so, that makes no sense. If possible, maybe look into getting some sort of short-term housing in the summer in the future. Maybe there is something around your college that caters to college kids for the summer. You could then purposefully come home for planned visits and avoid these conversations.
That’s not ideal and costs money. But, it sounds like things at home are just going to escalate further.” ConsiderationFew7599
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