People Disclose Their Bothersome "Am I The Jerk?" Stories To Us
36. AITJ For Using My Sister's College Fund And Keeping It?
“My (19 f) sister (23 f) got pregnant when she was 18 and about to leave for college. Her partner at the time skipped town and she was left to raise the baby by herself. My sister has always been my parents’ favorite, she could never do anything wrong.
But that immediately changed after she got pregnant. She had to make the decision to not go to college and instead raise her baby. Of course, my parents put in financial support and helped her with whatever she needed, and her son has been well off since.
Ever since my parents looked at me as their golden child. I stayed and put in much more effort in school and was taking almost all AP classes in my junior and senior years. I eventually got into my top school for pre-med, so I was obviously worried about how much it would cost. But my parents told me not to worry and that they had saved enough funds to send me to my dream school.
I was super happy to be going and was eager to start college. One day my sister was with me when I was buying supplies for school, My sister asked me what community college I was attending, I then told her that I was going to my dream school and she flipped out.
She was yelling at me because apparently, my parents had told her that I would be attending community college instead to save up for her and her son. When we got home she immediately confronted my parents. She asked them where all that money came from and why they lied to her.
That is when my mom told my sister that they had used HER college money they had saved for her before she got pregnant to pay for my college. My parents apparently had no hope that my sister would ever consider going back to college after she decided not to go, so they just saved the funds for me.
My sister stormed out of the room, and I blew up at my parents telling them that they should have told me and I would have chosen a school nearby.
I tried to talk to my sister but she would not talk to me for days.
When she finally decided to talk to me, she demanded that I go to community college and give her all the money for her and her son. I told her that I understood how angry she was at my parents but I would not be sacrificing my future just so she could have the money for her son.
She got very mad at me and called me a thief and selfish for not giving her back her money.
Although I feel bad for taking the money from my sister, I worked very hard to get into this school and she and her son are taken care of by my family.
I think that it is selfish of me to keep the money but it isn’t my fault my sister got pregnant and chose not to go to college.
So AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Refusing To Adjust My Trip For My Niece And Nephew?
“I grew up in Colorado and we moved to Ohio before I could finish climbing all of the 14,000ft peaks and try to make it back every year, or a few times a summer, so I can knock the rest off my list. I have 9 left: Ellingwood, Blanca, Little Bear, Sunlight, Eolus, Windham, Redcloud/Sunshine, and my planned finisher, San Luis.
The first 6 of these listed peaks are difficult climbs, the first 3 require a long backpacking trip, and the second 2 do as well (and a train that may or may not run). Little Bear is considered one of the most difficult and dangerous, requiring ropes and helmets for most climbers.
My brother heard that I’m planning a trip to Colorado, and he wants me to take his kids with me. I said no, flat out. I explained which mountains I’d planned and he SHOULD have gotten the hint, but he told me that I should just switch the order I do them in and bring the kids with me to San Luis.
I’ve planned a moonlight hike for San Luis forever. I want it to be just me and the sky.
My brother has been saying that I don’t spend enough time with the kids, that I make plans without considering anyone else’s feelings or wants, and that I am ‘stuck in adolescence and refuse to root in reality.’
The issue I guess is that he can’t give the kids a full vacation this year because he’s stuck at work, as is his wife. They don’t have another option and are begging me to take the kids.
Here’s the thing, I’m a 26-year-old guy.
I love my niece and nephew, but I have no interest whatsoever in changing my plans to bring kids with me on a trip. I plan to hike, drink beer at all the new breweries, go to some baseball games with friends I haven’t seen in years, probably hook up with fit people because the options in Ohio are depressing, etc.
I don’t want to cut those plans to do a bunch of kid-friendly nonsense. They expect me to just give up my trip and take the kids on the hiking equivalent of the bunny slopes. And I’m getting so much crap from all my family about it, including my mom who said she agrees with my brother and that it’s time to ‘settle down.’
He also complained that the kids complain that they don’t see me enough, which is crazy. I’m over at their house every few weeks.
I haven’t told anyone yet, but while I’m back in Colorado, I’m going to look for a place to live comfortably.
I don’t want to live in Cincinnati Ohio for the rest of my life. This is a different issue I guess.
Anyway, AITJ for not taking my niece and nephew out to Colorado with me because their parents can’t do it?”
34. AITJ For Making A Kid At The Grocery Store Cry?
“I (F, 30s) have just 2 vices, foods that I must always have available in my home: chocolate (important later) and fruit juice. Apple juice, grape juice, cranberry, I love them all.
I went grocery shopping after work and decided today’s drink of choice would be Minute Maid Fruit Punch since I haven’t had it in quite a while. I wheeled my cart to the refrigerated section and came across a family (mom and 3 little kids, all 6ish years old or younger) stalled in the middle of the aisle at the juice section.
The oldest of the kids was upset, and the mom was saying ‘Minute Maid has corn syrup, preservatives, etc., we’re not getting it,’ making it sound like toxic waste.
The kid must’ve also wanted the fruit punch, but Mom was making it quite clear she wouldn’t be buying it.
I was in a hurry, and I noticed it was the last carton. I said ‘Excuse me,’ slipped in front of them, and grabbed the carton. The kid started crying and the mom shot me the death stare (I couldn’t tell if she was mad I’d taken the last one, annoyed her kid was crying because of it, or disgusted I was getting something so ‘unhealthy’).
I finished the rest of my shopping and went to the self-checkout area, which only had 6 stations. I went to the only one that was unoccupied and started checking myself out. As I scanned my items, I perused the candy section and thought about getting a Milky Way for today’s chocolate fix.
The customer to my right finished and left, and who could have come up to that empty spot but the same mom and kids.
Kiddo is still sniffling, asking about getting candy since she couldn’t have juice, Mom is saying no, still going on about things being unhealthy and too much sugar.
Kiddo sees me lift the juice from my cart and scan it, she starts fully crying. I scan my few last items and decide to add the candy bar as my last purchase; the kid sees this and starts absolutely ‘wailing’. Mom doubles down on her death stare and actually mutters ‘Thanks a lot’ as I head past towards the exit.
Clearly, Mom thinks I’m a jerk, so what do you fine internet folks think?”
33. AITJ For Being Angry At My Fiancée For Taking Credit For My Cooking?
“I (27 m) live with my fiancee, ‘Vanessa’ (30 f). Vanessa isn’t a very good cook so I do most of the cooking in the house (I don’t mind, I like cooking).
It was her parents’ wedding anniversary yesterday and we invited them over for dinner. I made all the food – French onion soup, steak with multiple sides, and key lime pie.
It took me a long time to make everything and I was happy with how it all turned out.
So her parents arrive, we chat and then it’s time for dinner. All four of us are eating and her mom makes a comment about how good the food is. Vanessa smiles and says that she’s glad they’re enjoying it and she didn’t know how it would turn out.
I was a bit surprised because she didn’t make any of it, but I let it go.
During dessert, her parents again say the pie is really good, Vanessa says that she spent a lot of time making it all and is glad her efforts paid off.
Now I’m pretty annoyed. Her parents leave, I ask her why she told them she cooked all the food when she didn’t. She laughed and said it was not a big deal, to which I replied that it was a big deal to me, I spent a lot of time on all the food and I didn’t get an ounce of credit for it.
She says that I’m overreacting, and I yell that she took credit for my hard work and that’s not okay.
Vanessa looked a bit shocked and started crying. She said that I was ‘attacking her’ and ‘she just wanted to look like a good cook in front of her parents’.
She then said that I was ‘traumatizing her’ with my yelling and she now knows what women in abusive relationships feel like. We slept in different rooms and haven’t talked since. I didn’t mean to yell at her, and maybe I overreacted. Was I being a jerk?”
32. WIBTJ If I Sabotage My Dad's Adoption Process?
“My (25 F) dad (67 M) just told me he and his wife want to adopt a kid. This to me seems like a BAD idea for many reasons. For one, both my dad and his wife are approaching 70. They are both in good health now, but it seems like a bad time to take on such a big responsibility, no?
And maybe if he was like Mr. Rogers, it would be okayish. But he was absolutely not. He has 4 kids and 100% of us are in low contact with him, and are or should be in therapy due to his actions.
Growing up he was a pretty hands-off parent, and I grew up so afraid of him.
He has a temper. He is also deeply and fanatically religious and forces those opinions on us all the time. He is anti-therapy. My mom died when I was in my late teens, and he was deeply unsupportive of me and my siblings.
For example, he scheduled my mom’s funeral on my sibling’s birthday because he ‘couldn’t find another day that would work.’ I can’t remember the last time my dad told me he loved me, if ever lol.
I DEEPLY worry about how he would parent a child who most likely has some kind of trauma and potentially special needs. I think he thinks of this as just hosting a kid in his house rather than the time and effort it must take to support an adopted kid, especially because they want to adopt an older kid.
I think he would tell the kid to go to church and that would solve their issues, not get them into any therapy, and not assist them to acclimate to their school/life/etc at all (that was all on my mom).
He has children and grandchildren, and his wife (whom he married real quick after my mom died) has children and grandchildren.
He’s living his best retirement life right now and seems to be enjoying it, so I don’t know why they feel the need to do this. At the same time, I do recognize that the foster system is terrible, and at least with my dad, the kid would be financially supported. I don’t know.
Would I be the jerk if I found out what agency they’ve been going through and told them not to allow my senior, not-ideal dad to adopt a kid? And if I am not the jerk doing this, does anyone know how to go about this well?
I am in the US if that helps.”
31. AITJ For Not Considering My Stepsister's Kids My Niece And Nephew?
“My (24 F) mom was married for a few years when we were in elementary/middle school to a guy that also had a bio daughter a few years older than us.
We didn’t spend a lot of time together during the marriage, barely ever lived in the same house, and weren’t really close when we did. She and my sister would actually fight, but she and I had just a very distant relationship not actually that tense, she was never mean to me or anything except when I just got caught in the crossfire between her and my sister.
However, ironically post-divorce she (32 F) and my sister (now 29 F) became much closer, more as friends than as sisters. They both live in our hometown (I’ve moved). They both have multiple kids and think of those kids as cousins and babysit for each other a lot.
32F refers to my sister as her stepsister and by extension me as well, even though we had basically no contact post-divorce. I think of myself as having one sister, my sister thinks of herself as having two. That’s fine.
Stepsister was throwing a party a weekend.
I happened to already be in town staying with my sister so I went. We went early to help the stepsister set up and she was like ‘Everyone say hi to Aunt Sarah’ which is fine.
A few days later though while I was still in town, she called my sister’s house phone, my sister had taken her kids somewhere so I was home and she was like omg thank god someone answered I need someone to watch 9M and 6F because I have to take 3F for a doctor’s appointment she was just scheduled in for, and I was like oh well actually I’m going out to see friends for lunch while I’m in town and she said ‘Come on you can’t help your niece and nephew?
It’s family.’ And I was like, impulsively, ‘I mean they’re not really my niece and nephew.’
She went silent and then said okay fine I’ll find someone else and hung up on me. Later my sister got mad at me saying I was mean and should think of them as my niece and nephew even if I didn’t want to babysit.
But the truth is that they’re not my niece/nephew in my eyes, and she’s not my sister, even if we’re polite to each other.”
30. AITJ For Swimming In My Own Pool?
“I (30 M) have a house down here in FL and around evening time. After a long day of work etc. I love taking a dive in my pool (In my backyard) and having a nice swim for a while.
I just find it soothing and it helps me sleep better and I feel much better and it’s something I look forward to every day.
A week or so ago, while I was walking my dog out, a lady came up to me and said ‘Oh hi!
I’m Janice I’m your new neighbor so good to see you, I just wanted to introduce myself I live right next door to you with my daughter and we just moved in, etc.’ and then she shook my hand and walked off. All good.
The owner of that house is named ‘Gary’. He’s a great guy, he’s in his 50’s. And I’ve known him for ages. So he usually rents out that house and so these are his new tenants. He used to live in that house, but for the past few years, he’s been renting it out.
So every day, around 6-7 PM I go take a dive in my pool. I take my shirt off just wearing my swimming trunks, and go right into my pool and start swimming. Every day, I see a lady sitting on her balcony just watching me swim.
I don’t care, or so just mind my business swimming/or I might sit on the chair by the pool just relaxing, minding my own business.
Yesterday, while I was swimming at 7 PM, I heard a loud banging knocking noise on my door. I get up from my pool dry myself put a pair of clothes on, go to the front door, and say ‘Hey Janice, how’s it going?’ She said ‘What’s going on is you’re trying to lure my innocent daughter into your trap.
And I know how this goes’. I then told her ‘Janice, I’m not luring anybody and I’m minding my business’. She then said ‘I don’t care about all that but listen put some clothes on and stop swimming at your pool we have children over here’.
I then just say ‘It’s my pool, and it’s my property, Janice, I’m not doing anything’ and I just go inside and close the door.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Supporting My Mom's New Relationship?
“My family is going through a pretty emotional time right now and I know grief does a lot of things to people and their decision-making.
Although I’ve always had a decent relationship with my mom she is known for having a really bad temper and with me particularly can be pretty vicious when angry because I do not cower and don’t have a problem calling her on her nonsense.
My mom had an affair about a decade ago with let’s call him Will.
My parents had been married for around 20 years. I caught her and told her if she didn’t tell my dad I would. Well after screaming at me that I was awful and ruining her marriage it’s none of my business she did and it broke my dad’s heart.
My mom was the center of his universe but he did choose to forgive her.
My dad passed away almost 3 months ago. He was sick but the passing was very sudden and devastating. I found out through my sister that my mom and Will whose wife also recently passed away were going to the movies with each other.
I told both siblings that I was really upset by this because of what I feel are obvious reasons. Sibling told our mom that I knew and was angry but that they weren’t. I didn’t want to talk to her about it yet because I knew that I needed time to process the hurt of my mom’s actions and the grief.
My husband and I are taking our children on a trip and I want to be able to focus on them as it’s been a pretty rough year for us all. But because my mom knows I know she has been pretty passive-aggressive with me.
Today I called her and said we need to talk. The conversation did not go well. My mom has never taken criticism well and when I told her that her actions hurt me. This felt disrespectful to my dad and to us as her kids to go out with Will, especially so soon after our dad’s passing.
She accused me of not wanting her to have friends – which obviously was not the issue. There are billions of people on the planet, pick literally anyone else.
I told her if she wants to continue pursuing a relationship with Will she’s free to do so but I hate him and will never accept it.
I don’t want him to be in my family’s life. She hung up and then began berating me in text. Accusing me of saying I’m going to withhold her grandkids from her (I did not) and that how dare I think I know her and her relationship with my dad or anyone else was hers alone and I had no business interfering.
I told her multiple times that I loved her and I wasn’t going to keep HER from our lives and she could have any other person on the planet in her life. But I don’t have to let Will be a part of my life.
It dissolves into her saying ‘screw you’ to me and accusing me of gaslighting her.
Am I the jerk? I don’t think I am and I’m really not trying to ruin her life. I think it’s fair that I don’t like her seeing the person she has an affair with.
I get she’s an adult (as she pointed out) but she and her decisions don’t exist in a bubble.”
28. AITJ For Not Permitting My Stepson To Come To His School's Prom?
“I (42 F) am married to my husband (45 M) and have a stepson (17 M). My stepson is currently a junior in high school and I have known him for most of his life since his father and I have been married for just under 14 years.
My stepson has recently gotten into a spot of trouble and as a result, I have to ban him from going to his junior prom with his significant other. When my stepson and his SO first got together, my husband and I made sure to set clear boundaries on what was and wasn’t allowed within our household.
No kissing, no inappropriate touching, no closing doors, and no having a girl over past 11 p.m.
Yesterday my stepson managed to break quite a few of those rules. I walked in on him and his SO making out on his bed with the door closed, and immediately kicked her out.
I told my stepson that since he couldn’t follow simple rules he was not permitted to attend the upcoming prom. Stepson was upset with me, crying and telling me that ‘I wasn’t his real mom anyways, so who was I to ban him from something he had been looking forward to for months.’ My feelings were hurt – I’ve known this kid since he was 2 and consider him like my own son, especially since I have no children of my own due to my being infertile.
Stepson continued to fight against me, saying that his SO had already bought an expensive dress and that he had agreed to chauffeur their friend group. I told him that he should’ve considered this before breaking my rules.
It’s been 24 hours and my stepson still has not spoken to me.
My husband tells me that I was too harsh and that boys will be boys. I’m starting to wonder if my husband is right.
AITJ?”
Sorry, but actions have consequences. If I was the girl's parent I would want to know why she was kicked out of your home and why is her date banned by his parent from prom. I would be calling your house for answers and once I heard those I would be grounding my daughter so your son not going wouldn't matter. I would day don't back down. That shows don't he can do as he pleases and it sends the message your husband has no respect for you and your decisions so your son really won't listen to you. Yo je this really is a hill to die on
27. AITJ For Kicking My Husband Out Of The House Over Unpaid Bills?
“We have been trying to financially recover from my husband hopping jobs and then not actually working at all for about three months. Our bank account was emptied, we had to go through a debt consolidation process, I had to empty out a retirement account, we almost got evicted, almost lost both of the vehicles, the whole nine yards.
He started working again including some overtime. My position is salary, so overtime isn’t an option for me.
We had a pretty intense conversation in the midst of it all with me telling him that the next time this happens, I wasn’t putting up with it.
We got caught up on rent, got caught up on the cars, everything. But then he started calling out of work again. Then he changed his shift and someone had him out of work for almost two weeks. He still has a job, he worked yesterday, but he’s been going less and less.
His last check was almost $500 less than what it usually is, and that’s just for one week.
Today, I had a doctor’s appointment in a different city that I scheduled a decent amount of time before I was supposed to be at work, so I wasn’t expecting any calls.
I went to my doctor’s appointment, stopped to get gas, and then my car wouldn’t start. Tried to call my husband, and I got that ‘you’re not able to make calls recording.’ The bill is in his name due to that being an agreement we have (I handle rent, utilities, etc., he handles misc things.) Found a place with WiFi and tried to call him through Messenger.
Got that taken care of, but was still a little frustrated at being stranded for a bit with no phone.
We get all that dealt with, he calls the phone company to see if we can get an extension or make a smaller payment on it.
Nope. It’s going way too over past due, and this thing hasn’t been paid in a few months, with the grand total being over $500, which we don’t have. Close, but not quite.
My job is a traveling position. Most of my work requires me to have a phone between calls, texts, the whole thing.
I am technically on call 24/7. My immediate reaction was, now this man is messing with my job, the one thing I thought he couldn’t. I broke down in tears and told him to get out and not come back until the phone bill was paid.
He’s not getting a paycheck this week because of how long he was out due to him switching shifts, so that means it’ll have to be next week when I get paid. He was pretty much speechless, packed his stuff, and left with one of his friends.
I have been a complete wreck since, and I keep wondering if I made the right decision. Am I the jerk for kicking him out?”
26. WIBTJ If I Don't Say Anything To Get My Stepsister Included In Our Family Vacation?
“My (16 f) dad married my stepsister Emma’s (16 f) mom when we were 4. My mom died when I was 6 months old, and Emma’s dad died when she was 1 year old. My mom’s family was big and never left my life.
Emma’s dad was not the best and his family was never really that involved in hers. When my parents got married conflict happened between them and my mom’s family, because they didn’t embrace Emma as another grandchild. This resulted in my dad saying I could no longer see them, them taking him to court, and my grandparents being awarded grandparents visitation with me.
This includes one overnight a month and six added hours of time with me, it also included time over Christmas. And two weeks in the summer.
My time with my grandparents has always been a source of conflict and my dad always makes me feel like wanting time with them is wrong.
Emma and her mom aren’t much better. They have told me before that by wanting to keep my relationship with my extended family, I am being unfair to her.
The whole thing has made for a very tense relationship between us all.
My grandparents planned a pretty cool vacation for me and the rest of the family this summer, because we lost out on a lot of time when cases were high, and my grandpa is vulnerable so it was important to protect him.
Emma found out about it via my dad, who had to be alerted they were taking me out of state. She said she wanted to go. My parents told me to ask and I did. My grandparents said no which I expected. I told my dad.
Emma is upset. I know part of her upset is she never gets treated like that. None of her bio grandparents are in the picture (her mom’s parents are very distant) and my dad’s parents while involved, don’t really have much to spoil anyone with.
But she sees me get more and I know it bothers her.
But I understand my mom’s family not including her and I still want to go. But at home, I am being made to feel like I should be standing up for Emma and refusing to go if they won’t take her as well.
WIBTJ if I go?”
25. AITJ For Blaming My Stepdad For My Mother's Death?
“I (18 F) lost my mother a few weeks ago.
For some context, my mother never had custody of me. She had me at 17 and didn’t want me (and her parents are religious and wouldn’t let her terminate her pregnancy) so she signed away her parental rights when I was very young.
I always lived with my dad and his parents, and eventually my dad and stepmom.
Ever since my stepdad married my mom 3 years ago, he has always been really pushy about me being more involved in their lives. I honestly never really wanted to, my stepmom was like a mom to me.
He always hated me because of that.
She died of substance overuse, and I kinda blame my stepdad. He was a drinker and verbally abusive to her (based on what I’ve seen from the minimal times I’ve been with them), which I think drove her to do illegal stuff.
At the funeral, he talked so much about how my mom was a great mother (even though she doesn’t have any other kids) and that she always wanted a stronger relationship with me. It just felt so targeted.
Outside, I asked him why he would say that.
He said that he was just saying the truth and that I should’ve been closer to my mom when I had the chance. I thought that was cruel, so my reaction was to say something crueler (which I know is where I might have messed up).
I told him that he was the reason my mom died in the first place.
A lot of people heard me but not him since I spoke a little louder, and I felt like my entire family and his family ganged up on me. They all called me cruel and mean.
My parents rushed me to the car, and my dad said he didn’t raise me to speak to people that way. I tried to explain what he said to me, but they said I shouldn’t have sunk to his level.”
24. AITJ For Refusing To Make Changes To Our Family Vacation To Accommodate My Sister's Disability?
“I (19 f) just went on vacation with my family.
My sister (23 f) is in a wheelchair and this can make vacations a little difficult sometimes when it comes to accessibility for her wheelchair. I’m not going to name specific locations for privacy reasons but there was an old manor with beautiful gardens in the area we were visiting and after seeing pictures online it was something I really wanted to see while we were there.
I had been talking about it for a while so when we got there my mom went on the website to buy tickets for a tour and there was a section of the website that mentioned that many areas of the house and grounds were not wheelchair-accessible and could not be changed because it was historical.
I said I would find time to go on my own because I was the only one that really wanted to see it and my sister got really mad at me. She said that I shouldn’t go when I know she’ll be left out and I also shouldn’t support places that aren’t willing to make changes to be more accessible.
I told her that it’s not unreasonable that they can’t change the building because it’s historically significant. My parents told me I couldn’t go if my sister couldn’t go and I flipped out and said that the world doesn’t revolve around her and she’s being sensitive.
She didn’t even want to go that badly but now that it’s not an option for her she doesn’t want it to be an option for me either. My sister got really upset and started crying. I ended up going by myself anyway but after that, my sister and my mom didn’t talk to me for the rest of the trip.
Part of the reason I was so upset was because this has happened many times before, especially on vacation. If there’s a hike I want to go on or anything that she can’t participate in no one in the family gets to do it.
It’s really annoying to me and while I do feel for her that she can’t do everything this bugged me way more because she didn’t even want to go that bad in the first place. I thought it would end up blowing over but she still hasn’t talked to me and we’ve been home for a week now so I’m second guessing whether I should have gone or not.”
23. AITJ For Leaving My Sister's Kid At Home Alone?
“I (26 F) have a sister (28 F), let’s call her J. J is a mother to three kids, aged 4, 7, and 8 years old. The father is a really absent parent and not around much, he works the night shift and then sleeps all day. I feel bad for her because it definitely isn’t a fair situation and she doesn’t get any time to herself.
Anyway, the situation is as this: my sister invited me to hang out on Saturday night. I agreed to come around and hang out with her, but she said she would have to leave to run an errand at some point. Cool. She said she’d be half an hour so could I look after the sleeping youngest child while she quickly nipped out?
I reluctantly agreed. The other two kids had been dropped off at our parents for the weekend, so I understood she would want some time to run an errand she normally wouldn’t have time for. As long as it was only half an hour. She promised it would be.
I come over, we chat and catch up and watch a movie. It’s really pleasant until she says she has to leave for That Errand and leaves me instructions on what to do in case the kid wakes up but says to just call her because she’s only around the corner.
I’m really on edge about it because I struggle a lot with really bad anxiety and panic disorder, which I’m currently in therapy for and experimenting with meds to manage, however we haven’t found anything that really works yet. She knows this and knows I would really panic and cannot look after a kid for longer than she initially promised, I’m just not there mentally to be able to deal with crying for example.
Anyway, half an hour passed and she wasn’t back yet. 45 mins. I call her and ask if everything is OK and when she will be back, and she answers after multiple rings. She said something came up and she’d be another hour, maybe an hour and 15.
I basically lose my mind and say if she’s not back in 15 minutes then I’m leaving. She said I wouldn’t do that and to please just stay there and hung up. At this point, I’m on the verge of having a panic attack so do my breathing exercises, ring her husband, leave a message when he doesn’t answer, text him about the situation as well and also text my mom and leave after 15 minutes as I said.
Apparently, my sister didn’t come home for another 2 hours and when she did her husband was with the child and they were both fuming. He got my message 15 minutes after I left. So it’s been 30 minutes after I sent it and now both of them are refusing to talk to me, saying I endangered the child’s life.
I feel like my staying would have been worse because the kid slept through it all and a panic attack may have woken him up to find me a dysfunctional mess. AITJ here?”
22. AITJ For Blaming My Sister For What Happened To Her Visa Application?
“I (28 f) live in the UK so does my sister (30s f).
Both of us had to apply to extend the visas we have and receive indefinite leave to remain on the type of visa, the only difference is I applied about 8 months before.
While I had my application accepted, hers was declined and it made it to the local news with her saying how impossible it is to fill those applications and how ridiculous the system is as she has been living in the UK for over 10 years and doesn’t have thousands of pounds to hire someone to look through the application.
She has time to resubmit the application.
Yesterday we had a family dinner. My sister started the same song about the application and how unfair the system is. She said unlike me she doesn’t have spare funds to have someone to look at the application.
I reminded her that I did all my applications myself without anybody’s help and also reminded her that I said I would help her with her application if she asked me to. To point out you do need to pay attention when filling out the forms to make sure you read the questions right, but what takes the longest is collecting all the documents like bills, rent agreements, statements, payslips, etc.
She got upset and said I should have checked her application, and I reminded her she never asked me to do that but if it bothers her that much I can have a look and tell her what she did wrong. She passed me her phone (the application can be downloaded as a PDF) and I immediately spotted that she decided not to declare her husband’s job and earnings (which alone bring them above the threshold) and only declared hers (as she works part-time it wasn’t a lot and below the threshold).
She also didn’t submit the current tenancy agreement. My sister thanked me and started going off about how was she supposed to know that and I pointed out again that it says on the form in large letters to include your spouse’s income and even has a separate field for it.
She was still blaming the immigration office by the end of the dinner and was planning to write a complaint about their incompetence. I’ve said it was really her fault that her extension has been declined as she didn’t pay enough attention to the application she was filling in and the immigration office didn’t do anything wrong there but just followed the protocol since she didn’t disclose the information they needed. My sister got offended and called me a jerk for telling her it was her fault and stormed off from our parents, as they were on my side.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Changing My Netflix Password?
“Half a year ago my (F 27) sister, Marta (F 20), moved in with me to save some funds. Most of the time we get along well, though it’s a new situation for both of us as we haven’t lived together since we were teenagers.
I have a Netflix account and I’m the only person paying for it.
Out of courtesy I let my sister use it and shared my password with her. It worked pretty well, especially since we watched most of the shows together anyway. She was only using it by herself when she was watching something I didn’t want to watch.
A few weeks ago my work schedule changed and now I’m at home at totally different hours than my sister. Given so, we spend far less time together. She also started to watch TV series by herself. I had no problem with that, especially since I wasn’t able to watch with her anymore.
However, she kept spoiling me things. Like, we were talking and she said: ‘Oh, and do you know what happened to (this character)? He (major spoiler).’ Or even worse, I returned home and she ran to me, all excited, spoiling a new episode of one of the series we used to watch together.
I know she isn’t doing it out of malice. It’s just that when she’s excited about something, the whole world has to know about it too. She just isn’t able to keep things to herself.
I talked with her about how I don’t like her spoiling things for me, especially since she sees most of the series before me.
She tried to respect that but it’s just impossible for her.
Recently I got angry and changed my Netflix password, making it impossible for her to watch. I told her if she’ll start to pay her share or buy an account for herself, then she’s free to watch again but I don’t want things to be spoiled for me for my own money.
She says I’m a jerk as I am aware of the fact she doesn’t have enough budget (though she has enough to pay for half of my fee or even buy her own account). She told our mother about everything and mum said I should be happy that my sister enjoys herself and ‘Don’t be childish about stupid things like that’.
Maybe I overreacted and should give her my password back? But I really hate watching movies or TV series with knowledge of how they end!
AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Clapping Back At A Random Lady For Laughing At My Husband For Watching A Kid's Show?
“My husband has watched 3 (kinda 4) shows his entire life. Thats it. Only 3. At night in bed, he either turns on YouTube or one of these 3 shows.
Initial D, Teen Titans, and Regular Show. Every few years he’ll rewatch one of the 3 shows. (Sometimes he’ll watch Teen Titans go for fun but has mentioned he doesn’t like how they ‘messed with the character dynamics’) But anyway that’s not the point. He grew up with these 3/4 shows and watched them as a child, teenager, and adult.
(My husband and I were born in 2001)
Well, today at the doctor he was on his phone and had an AirPod in. This lady got up and saw what he was watching and thought it was hysterical. She laughed and saw me holding his hand, and scrolling through social media and figured out I was his partner.
She asked if I saw what he was watching. I freaked out and assumed it was something inappropriate and looked but saw he was watching Teen Titans (the original one) as that’s the show he is currently rewatching. I said, ‘What’s so funny about it?’ She said ‘It’s a kid’s show’ and I said, ‘I think it is a brilliant show because it can entertain adults while also being appropriate for kids.’
She laughed again and called him a man-child and then took out her phone to take a picture. I didn’t let her take a picture. I took his phone and turned it off and told her to go screw herself and to leave my husband alone.
I got kicked out of the DOCTOR’S OFFICE. My husband actually seemed appreciative that I stood up for him because for personal reasons, he’ll never verbally (or physically) defend himself against a woman so he just sat there humiliated. Well, he swears I did nothing wrong, but I clearly did, because I got kicked out of the freaking doctor’s office.
I feel like I humiliated him even more. God, I feel like such a jerk.”
19. AITJ For Wanting My Friend To Pay If She Wants Me To Share My Hotel Room With Her And Her Family?
“I’m (19 F) solo traveling through Europe for two weeks. My friend (19 F) is traveling to 2 out of 5 of the same cities as me during this time, with her other friend.
For most of the time, they’re staying with relatives of my friend. This was never mentioned to me, and I wasn’t invited along. (The 3 of us are interning together in a different European country, and most of the interns travel together if they’re going to the same place).
I mentioned to my friend that we were going to 2 out of 5 of the same countries and that I still needed to find a place to stay. She said that her family’s house is full.
I thought it was interesting that she chose to open her house to her friend who she just met, and not me, who she’s known for a year.
Just last weekend, I was unexpectedly excluded from a hotel room when the other interns kicked me out because they exceeded the room’s capacity. I’m still incredibly upset about it, and my family was seething. Their clique made me leave and stay alone.
Since then, the intern group dynamic hasn’t been the same. I’m still so angry, and I’ll never tell them, but they know I am.
So all my hotels for my 2-week solo trip have been booked. Then my friend said her family couldn’t have them over now in one of the cities and asked to stay in my hotel room.
I said fine if they each want to pay me a third of the room’s cost. But I’m staying at upscale hotels during all my travels, and in this city, I’m staying at the Waldorf Astoria, which she claimed is out of their price range.
I said I’m not paying for them to stay in my hotel room. They have to pay me 1/3 each.
She said I was ‘just doing this out of spite’ because the intern group kicked me out last weekend. While I am furious about that still, I would still be making them pay either way.
I’m not going to get ripped off and pay for everyone. AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Not Setting Aside My Hatred For Our Neighbor For The Kids' Sake?
“So, our neighbor let their power bill lapse by three months and they subsequently got their power shut off. My wife and their mother consider the woman ‘family’, though there was been a falling out and they haven’t talked in almost a year.
They have two children, 5 and 2, living in the house. My wife wanted to offer to run an extension cord for them so they could at least run a refrigerator to keep food cold.
Now, what led to this falling out is that my wife and I were having a heated argument on our front porch, she overheard it and came over to interject herself.
When I told her this was a private conversation and that she needed to leave, she called the cops and told them I was beating her, trying to get me arrested. She has a history of making false reports to the police to try to get people arrested as a revenge tactic.
She also has a history of using her children as a weapon to basically extort things from people under the threat of taking the children away from them.
When she asked me if I would be okay with running the extension cord, I said no, that she should have been more responsible, and that I know how she operates and this will become her way of getting back in, repeating the vicious cycle.
She tells me that I need to set aside my hatred for her and consider the children, that they shouldn’t have to suffer because of her. I reply that they have two ATVs, a go-kart, and three vehicles, one they rarely ever drive, that being a parent means having to make sacrifices sometimes for the sake of your children, and that they should pawn or sell some of their ‘toys’ to pay the bill.
So AITJ for refusing to let her offer to run a power cord and letting my hatred for this woman supersede the welfare of the two children?”
17. AITJ For Bringing Outside Food For My Daughter?
“My nephew’s birthday dinner was at Outback Steakhouse, and my autistic daughter has many food sensitivities. I looked up the menu and asked if she could eat anything on it. She said no and asked if she could prepare her own food.
I said she could and asked her to keep it simple. She said she would make a hummus and pesto sandwich and apple slices. I said that was fine. I put the food (in Ziploc bags) in my purse.
At the dinner, everything was fine at first. We all ordered drinks.
I got a Coca-Cola and my daughter got an Arnold Palmer. When it was time to order food, I got the steakhouse salad and asked for an extra plate, and my daughter very non-obtrusively declined to order. She was so quiet and calm that the rest of the party didn’t notice.
When food arrived, I quickly put my daughter’s stuff on my extra plate and slid it over to her. Since she was eating off the restaurant’s plates, it was hardly noticeable that she wasn’t eating restaurant food. My sister, however, saw what I did and got angry.
She told me to order my daughter an entree. I said she was fine. Sister got louder and drew the whole table’s attention.
I tried to divert attention by asking BiL’s mom about her garden, but my sister got even louder and told me to stop making a scene (?) and that this was her son’s special day and my daughter wasn’t going to be the center of attention on son’s special day and I needed to stop acting like the world revolved around her.
She got so upset that her face turned red, and a waitress came over and asked for our table to quiet down because we were disturbing other tables. I just collected my daughter and left.
My sister texted me a bunch of awful stuff and a Venmo request for $50.
I know a salad (that I didn’t even get to eat most of) and two soft drinks weren’t $50, so I sent her $20 instead. She’s super mad. My brother said that my sister was tired of it being ‘always something’ with my daughter and even though my sister way overreacted I instigated and should have left her home if she ‘can’t handle’ a restaurant.
But, to my mind, she did handle the restaurant. She didn’t make a scene. She just didn’t eat their food. Why couldn’t everyone just eat their food and ignore my daughter’s?”
16. AITJ For Kicking My Awful Friend Out Of My House?
“I’ve (35 F) known my friend (34 M) for like 20 years.
I recently traded in my 500 sf studio in a major metropolitan city for a 3 bed, 2 bath house in a much smaller city.
My friend makes fun of said choice/city… Until he apparently needed someone to house his slightly older bro.
Last November he told me that his bro would be on the street if I didn’t open my doors, he wouldn’t ask me if he had any other choice, and he was calling in the ‘ultimate friend favor’.
I, being midwestern to my soul, could not say no (this is relevant). It was fine for a few weeks, but by 5 weeks in I was tired. Bro said he had a business opportunity in Cali and just needed a loan for travel costs. I stupidly said okay.
Bro should not be trusted, I later found out. I told my friend that I fronted some travel costs for his bro and my friend was like ‘Oh gosh’. He THEN found the time to tell me that his bro was a recovering gambling addict and he sent him to stay with me (rent-free) so Bro would save up money that Bro owed my friend.
My friend proceeded to chastise me and call me stupid for giving his bro any money, saying I’m ‘small town’. Maybe I am. My friend told me he was family and I didn’t question it, even though I’d never met Bro.
Anywho, fast forward to January, Bro is gone because of money and other bad things, but now my friend needs a place to stay because Bro drained his savings.
OK fine, you can stay here for a month. Beyond that, you gotta pay something because I’m not a home for lost boys. He says fine.
I charge him less than 1/3 of my rent and less than 1/4 of my utilities after the first month of being free.
But life quickly becomes a nightmare. I can’t use my house, I’m never alone, and my ‘friend’ gaslights me at every opportunity. I find myself hiding in my bedroom like I used to hide from my ex-husband in my bathroom. I finally break down over the smallest thing and tell him to get out.
And when I say the smallest thing I mean it.
In my defense, I’ve researched room rentals in my area and he could easily get a comparable room for what I’m charging him… with the added bonus that his roomies actually want roomies.
I told him that twice before reaching my breaking point. After the TV input thing he tried to tell me I don’t work. Which I do. Like 60 hours a week. He just sleeps during most of that.
I just broke. I yelled. I offered to help him pack but said he needed to go.
Now. He went, and I watched. The last I heard from him he was telling me I was a dumb jerk for lending money to a stranger (his bro), and that I don’t deserve what I have because from what he sees I only work 2-3 hours per day.
When he doesn’t wake up until 5 PM!”
15. AITJ For Leaving My Current Job Struggling?
“So, around 2 years ago, I (23 NB/M) started at a store and worked my way up to a manager.
I got my promotion about 5 months ago. My store’s hierarchy is kinda weird. We have a general manager, 2 full-time managers, and 2 part-time managers. I’m one of the part-time managers and therefore am at the bottom of the totem pole. Our GM, Morgan (30s F), is great in every way except for one.
She can’t handle Carrie one of the full-time managers.
Carrie was on extended leave and only came back about 10 months ago. Since she came back she has been targeting me. In November we had an incident that should have gotten her fired. Keyword SHOULD. Unfortunately, at that time she injured herself.
The sympathy she earned kept her around.
Long story short, the situation hasn’t improved. After a couple more incidents recently, I have started applying for new jobs. I had a couple of interviews and when I saw things getting more serious with one of the jobs I told Diana, the other full-time manager.
I did that yesterday. For the rest of the day, she tried to convince me not to leave telling me I had a future with them and we could solve the issues with Carrie. I told her I didn’t see that happening. Morgan has not solved or even bettered the situation after 4 separate conversations.
Today, Morgan sat with me and talked. She said she’s been trying and she didn’t mean to make me feel the way she has when I’ve gone to her. She told me her solution was to have a sit-down talk with her, Carrie, and myself.
I said I didn’t feel comfortable with it. Morgan said it’s the only solution she sees possibly working and to think about it.
I’m also leaving because I need full-time and benefits. Diane’s solution was to get government insurance and food stamps instead of leaving.
She and I have always been really close. We’ve known each other for years and she got me the job. She keeps telling me I have a future here and that every workplace has a Carrie. I’m feeling so guilty because I know leaving will put the team in a bad spot, but their actions don’t match their words.
They say they’ll do anything to keep me, but won’t make me full-time even though I’m only 1-2 hours away a week.
Every time they talk to me it’s about being heartbroken that I’m leaving, how I have a bright future, and how great the company treats me.
So am I the jerk for leaving my current job and leaving them to struggle?”
14. AITJ For Not Helping My Partner Buy Me A New Dog?
“Last year I got two puppy sisters, Sadie and Gizmo. They’re big girls so I have a six-foot wooden fence around my property so they don’t go running off and can’t jump it.
They’re pretty well trained except for Sadie, it’s been an uphill battle training her to not run after cats or cars when she’s on a leash and out of the yard. So that’s another reason I made sure to have a high enough fence to keep them in.
They’ve got their own doggie door so they can go in and out as they please when I’m at work.
My partner is a scary driver, drives fast, swerves on purpose, etc. My house is off the main road a bit so she does it a lot coming and going when she visits or stays over.
I hate driving with her and won’t if I don’t have to. Basically, everyone has warned her about it.
A couple of weeks ago, I had to. My car had two flats and we’d just had a really nasty snow storm so my partner was going to take me to pick up two new tires.
True to fashion my partner goes fast on an icy road and is having a grand old time making her car fishtail. On ice.
Unfortunately, she lost control going around the turn, and out of nowhere came Sadie. She got hit and sadly passed. I did everything in my power to not lose it on her then and there, got out, and told her to go, I’d have a friend take me.
I found a snow bank in the yard that had iced over and I guess Sadie jumped the fence that way. My partner gave a half-meant apology and swore it wasn’t her fault, but I told her that if she had just listened to me and everyone else in her life about her driving, it may have been avoided. I told her to stay away for a couple of days while I figured out what to do.
I was honestly pretty mad she didn’t offer to do anything, not help bury, a new dog, nothing.
Since then, Gizmo’s been pretty distressed and lonely so I decided it’d be best for her if I got a new dog as soon as possible. The guy my parents traded goats with had an older dog that needed to be rehomed but he wanted a bit of money for him since he’s a full-blooded Anatolian with papers-200 total. Works for me, same breed as Gizmo and she’s been around him before.
Told my partner since it was her fault, to pay for a new doggo. She argued about it and dragged her feet but eventually, she did pay for it.
The whole situation just soured her to me and I wound up breaking up with her a couple of days later.
Now she, her family, and friends are saying I’m a jerk for not splitting the cost of the dog and I should have regardless of what I was thinking because she was my partner and it was just an accident. AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Standing Up For Myself By Wearing A Bikini To A Family Event?
“I (22 F) went on vacation with my immediate family last summer.
We rented out a beautiful beach house and spent a whole week there.
I am naturally shy, so I had an ankle-length sundress that I wore when I wasn’t swimming or sunbathing. I had a great time at the beach, but my mom was fuming the whole time and refused to tell anyone why.
When I got back from vacation and was packing up to go back to college, she busted into my room and demanded how on earth I would think it was okay to dress like that in front of my brothers and dad. She said that I was ‘mooning everyone’ on the beach and that it was embarrassing for her and that if I dressed like that when I was a kid she would’ve ‘locked me in the hot car’.
I was flabbergasted. My bikini was a scoop neck sports bra style and the bottoms were the cheeky kind, it wasn’t like it was a triangle and a thong or anything. The only explanation I could think of was when I got flattened by a huge wave and walked away with a wedgie.
But that happens to everybody at some point or another at the beach, right?
I calmly told her that I was an adult and could wear what I wanted, and I apologized that I made her uncomfortable. My sisters were wearing them too and she didn’t talk to them about it.
Plus, the idea that she would think wearing a bikini around my brothers and dad is ‘wrong’ really made my skin crawl.
This seemed to tick her off even more, and she accused me of trying to seduce my brother-in-law by wearing a two-piece. (Note: he wasn’t even on vacation with us, he was out of state).
She then said if I didn’t promise to wear a one-piece bathing suit then I wouldn’t be allowed to attend any future family vacations. I said okay, and walked away.
She recently brought it up again and it made me really rethink the whole situation.
I get that it might’ve sounded like a simple request and that I can dig my own grave by refusing to do something as simple as changing a swimsuit. But my mom has bullied me for my appearance since I was in elementary school and controlled the things that I wore and ate so strictly that it gave me an eating disorder.
I felt like by standing up to her I was standing up for myself. Plus, she said all those mean things. Was I really being inappropriate in front of my family? I really didn’t do anything at the beach besides collecting shells, sunbathing on a towel, and swimming.
AITJ for not bending to a simple request?”
12. AITJ For Letting My Husband Kick His Freeloading Sister Out Of Our House?
“I am a 32-year-old doctor married to my husband who is 36 and is also a doctor. My husband has a younger sister who is 26. Due to some financial issues, she’s been living with us for 4 years. When I was pregnant last year I was very tired and took a break from work which led to some financial problems because now my husband pays for me who is pregnant and plus another adult.
He was working so much to provide us with money so he didn’t have time to help me. I asked my SIL for some help with the cooking and cleaning and she refused claiming that I shouldn’t have had a child if I wasn’t ready for one.
The answer baffled me that I refused to talk to her again (mind you she said this while she was in my house and has been staying for 2 years while I was paying). I started excluding her from the meals and my husband who obviously noticed I was not including her.
I told him what happened and he told me to continue not giving her anything and he’ll deal with her which I did. We spent the rest of the year and the first half of this year not communicating. I gave birth to a healthy boy and thankfully our finances are stable as I was back to work later.
The reason I felt hurt by her comment is that she had been living in my house rent-free when my husband and I were splitting and I was doing everything for her for free, she never laid a hand in the house and I never complained until I physically couldn’t coddle her anymore.
I knew my husband and I didn’t prepare 100% for pregnancy but we made it work just like we weren’t ready to host an adult either but we made work. My husband told me he’ll pay for her so the payment won’t be split 50% each but 75%:25% as I am one person and they are 2 and as for our child, he has a totally separate plan.
This caused a lot of fights between the siblings and he cannot handle how she is irresponsible she is. Their fight 3 weeks ago escalated so much because she called him a jerk that he told her by the end of this month she’ll move out and he doesn’t care where she’ll go she has to figure it out.
She doesn’t have a job because all those years she has been giving excuses and saying she’ll get one but she still hasn’t.
As I said since last year we have been ignoring each other but yesterday she barged into my room at midnight while my child was sleeping and started yelling at me I dragged her out she told me I am the reason her brother hates her and I am a ‘home wrecker’ for not helping my husband with her expenses.
To my luck, he arrived minutes after which stopped her blow out and we entered our room ignoring her.
Yes, I felt bad that they became this bad with each other but I couldn’t continue giving a grown woman money for free when she refused to do the bare minimum for me.
I can’t even tell my husband to be lenient when she is nothing but disrespectful to him. My friend told me I should’ve just sucked it and paid for her until she eventually found a place.”
11. AITJ For Not Allowing My Fiancé's Best Friend To Propose To His Partner On Our Wedding?
“I (F 26) met my (M 26) fiancé in college along with our two best friends we’ll call them John (M 26) and Holly (F 26). They’ve also been together since college like me and my fiancé. So we’ve been inseparable since going on double dates and trips together and have had an amazing time post-college.
My fiancé proposed to me last year and it’s all been very exciting wedding planning has been stressful and exciting and Holly is my bridesmaid and John is my fiancé’s best man. Our wedding is in February next year and in the midst of planning last night John came over to our house and said that he wanted to propose to Holly!
My fiance and I were over the moon for him and I was excited for another wedding! So I asked him when he planned to propose and that we’d be down to help with the proposal and everything. He smiled and then said that he was thankful and said that he’d love to propose to Holly at our wedding.
Before I said anything he showed me a video of a bride giving her bridesmaid her bouquet instead of tossing it and then the man proposing he then said I’d love to do something like this. I was sort of speechless as was my fiancé.
He then asked us if that would be okay. I took a deep breath and said no John it wouldn’t be okay. As much as I love you and Holly and I are more than happy that you guys are getting engaged I don’t want that done at my wedding but I’d be more than happy to help you plan a separate event and I think Holly wouldn’t be too thrilled to get proposed at someone’s wedding.
Holly had told me before that she found people who get engaged at people’s weddings tacky.
I told him that but he wouldn’t budge. He got angry and said we were being selfish but not allowing him this one small favor and if the roles were reversed he’d say okay in a heartbeat.
I reiterated to him that Holly wouldn’t want this and she’d want her own event. He kept saying you’re lying you just don’t want us to be engaged you just want all the attention to yourselves.
This is where I might feel like I’m the jerk.
I blew up at him and called him tacky and cheap! I said we and our families aren’t not shelling out thousands for you to propose at our wedding. It’s embarrassing you can propose to Holly even a day after or day the before or even the day of but just not at my wedding or venue.
Holly will cringe and find it embarrassing. He said he didn’t think he’d been friends with such selfish and rude people for all these years. My fiancé reiterated everything I’d said and then My fiancé told him to leave and he left.
Now it’s awkward Holly has no idea what happened and we all had a trip booked for next month and now I don’t want to go. I’m very upset with John and he hasn’t apologized. I don’t know what to tell Holly and I don’t want to lie to her but I don’t want to ruin the surprise of her possible proposal. A part of me feels bad but I want to stick to my guns.”
10. AITJ For Getting Annoyed At My Fiancée For Doing Lousy Work?
“My fiancée has a long history of either making no effort to learn basic tasks or doing them poorly so I have to re-do them.
Examples (there are many more than just these 3…):
1. One time she called me while I was at work asking her to come change her tire because she got a flat. I told her I couldn’t leave work because I had an important meeting, and she would have to change it herself.
She called me again, THREE HOURS later, asking if my meeting was over and if I could help now. I asked why she didn’t just put on her spare tire, to which she said didn’t know how, so instead she went in got food at a cafe nearby, and left her car.
I asked why, in two hours, she didn’t just GOOGLE how to change a tire. She said her dad has always come and changed her tire for her.
I was pretty annoyed and told her I’m not her ‘dad’ so she will need to learn how to do these types of things, but ultimately left work to help her change the tire.
She also hasn’t made any attempt to learn how to change a tire since then.
2. We recently bought a home and it’s the first time either of us has had a yard. We split chores ‘evenly’ (in reality I end up doing more, on top of all the cooking).
I mowed the first week and when the second week rolled around, I pointed out that it was her turn since the grass was getting long, and the next day was one of the few days where it wouldn’t be extremely hot. She looked absolutely puzzled because apparently she just assumed I was always going to be the one to mow.
She said she didn’t know how to start the mower, so I showed her how to start it, adjust the height, add gas, etc. and she agreed to mow the next day.
I came home from work and she hadn’t mowed and I asked why.
She said she couldn’t start the mower. It’s a brand new Honda mower that’s probably the easiest thing to start on earth. Annoyingly, the mower was in the exact spot from the day before, so I know she didn’t even TRY!
3. Recently we bought new light switches (her request) since the old ones were ugly and cream-colored. There were about 16 of them in total that needed to be swapped out.
I told her I would swap out the ones downstairs if she did the ones upstairs. I did mine that day, and she said she’d do hers later.
Well, 5 weeks passed, and I asked if she was ever going to swap them out. She told me she couldn’t figure it out.
Mind you, I’d NEVER done this before either, but I watched a 5 minutes YouTube video and just read the instructions and it was pretty easy.
I ask again if she is going to do them, and she says ‘I’ll probably just leave them as-is since they don’t look that bad’.
I was furious. SHE was the one who wanted them, I bought them. Because she took so long to do it, they were past the return date, so basically I’m forced to do it. I told her I was tired of her weaponized incompetence, and she said she was not doing it ‘on purpose – so then I told her maybe it’s just regular incompetence then.
She’s still upset at me. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Logging Into My Wife's Social Media Account?
“I have a 4-year-old daughter, Mackenzie, with my ex. Ex has not been involved in Mackenzie’s life since she was 3 months old. She lost parental rights when Mackenzie was 1. Shortly after, I met my now-wife. She has 2 girls from a previous marriage, Alyssa (8) and Josie (5).
We got married a year later and my wife adopted Mackenzie.
My wife is the type to post everything on social media. Alyssa and Josie’s dad is a jerk who is barely around. She constantly drags him on social media and goes into excruciating detail about him.
She also shares every small detail of Alyssa and Josie’s lives, the good, the bad, etc. Even stuff that makes them look bad, like tantrums or bad days. I’ve told her before I don’t think that’s a good idea. She waves it off as they don’t have social media.
I set the boundary early that she does not do that with Mackenzie. For a while, she respected it.
Mackenzie’s bio mom recently started causing some trouble. She doesn’t want to see her but is doing some other stuff that’s frustrating for both myself and my wife.
We have been in family and couples counseling to help us blend the families, which helps.
My wife recently began venting about my ex on social media. She started going into great detail about the reasons she lost custody. I told her several times I did not feel comfortable with Mackenzie’s story being out there without her consent.
My wife and I went back and forth on this. Even the therapist told her this wasn’t healthy. So, my wife deleted it.
Last week, we got the good news that the court granted our request for a restraining order against my ex. The next day, I saw my wife posting about this, once again sharing all the terrible things my ex had done.
I told her to delete it. She said she would. When I went on her profile last night, it was still up. We share an iPad and it was logged onto her social media account. I deleted the post and let her know I had done so.
She got mad and said I had no right to delete anything from her account. I told her she could vent to friends, family, me, the therapist, etc. but I did not want this story out there. I told her if it happened again, I’d report her.
She grumpily agreed she’d never do it again but said I’m censoring her. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister In My Life Anymore?
“I (20 f) am thinking about not going to my sister’s (23 f) wedding.
Here’s the reason: She is an egoistic, self-centered narcissist and has made my life worse for as long as I can remember.
She’s been bad to many other people as well (including my whole family) but it has always seemed to me that she’s had it out for me specifically. I don’t know why she’s behaving like this towards me, I can only speculate that it might be jealousy because I’ve been the academically successful one.
I’ve always tried co-existing with her, only interacting when necessary, but it didn’t go too well.
I’ll give you a few examples:
When we still lived with our parents, I refused to let her use my printer because she yelled and insulted me an hour prior and when I did so, she lost it and threw a hot water bottle at me.
She called me and my whole family the c-word over a Wi-Fi router.
She called my mom the c-word and told her to shut up (which is just not normal in our family, not even saying ‘shut your mouth’ is), after she refused to babysit her 2 bulldogs for over a week because 1) it stressed out our own dog and 2) she has to work and take care of my little sister and the household as well.
Mind you, she had babysat the dogs before for a day or two, but over a week because my sister wants to go on vacation with her partner and the responsibility to care for her dogs is in the way now, is too much.
And the most recent incident: (context: she did an apprenticeship as a mechanic) She heard something I said which could indicate that I was planning on being wasted and stuff (actually I was talking about PokémonGo, LOL, I rarely drink), and instead of asking me then and there, she went to my mom a week later and asked her if I have a problem with drinking.
My mom, who is VERY sensible in regards to drinking because of a traumatic experience, called me and asked me about it. I said no and asked where my sister got that from and she said she didn’t know, so I texted her about it and she immediately called me disrespectful, again insulted my personality and everything about me, pulled the ‘you’re uninvited to my wedding’ card (they got engaged a week prior) and lastly told me I should be careful that nothing is going to happen to me in my car (implying harming me indirectly by sabotaging my car), after which she blocked me.
Then, she gave my mom an invitation for me and my partner (still blocked me though). I’ve had enough and I want to make a clear cut and not have her in my life anymore. I feel as if it’ll never stop if I don’t cut her out now and it will always go back and forth with this.
She never apologizes, not to me, not to my mom, or to anyone else, she just pretends everything is back to normal and I don’t want that to happen.
Everyone is telling me they understand but I should go to keep the family peace. I am not sure what to do.
Would I be the jerk?”
7. AITJ For Getting So Wasted At My Ex's Wedding?
“So, this girl ‘Sonya’ and I (we’re both 27 now) dated for a couple of years in college. Wonderful girl, she had like the best music taste, and sense of humor, and was and is just the coolest person.
I had to move across the country for grad school and broader work opportunities, that’s the only reason we fell out of touch.
But in the last couple of months, we’ve been catching up, she called me out of the blue to let me know she heard from one of our mutuals that I was living nearby, and it turns out she’s the next state over.
I caught up with her parents, and met her fiance ‘Mark’ and we all got along really well, they really wanted me to come to their wedding this July, so I did.
After the important part of the wedding was over (you may kiss the bride, the vows, yada yada), I made sure to congratulate her and her man and then I just went over to the open bar.
I guess I was bored or just not paying that much attention because I had a lot of drinks, and I was kind of wasted already before the reception even got close to starting. So I took Sonya’s dad aside and told him I was leaving and to tell the bride and groom I just didn’t feel well.
But Mark saw me and told me I had to stick around a bit longer and go to the reception since it was ‘the best day of their lives.’
I wasn’t thinking the clearest so I was like sure. Mistake. I was just sitting at the reception trying to eat like a normal person when I just started crying.
I really don’t cry that often so I guess I have to blame the liquor. I apologized and got out of there fast but I know I must’ve made some kind of scene because the next day I got a phone call from Mark saying I ‘ruined their wedding’ and I needed to give Sonya and the rest of the family a formal apology in person.
Sadly though I’ve taken my yearly limit of humiliation so I told him how about no and hung up. Sonya’s not upset and doesn’t consider her wedding ruined, but she thinks I should apologize to Mark just ‘on principle’ so we can continue getting along the way we were, and that I did do a wrong thing ‘technically’ by getting so wasted and leaving early.
While she’s right on that end, I did do my time at the wedding and the only thing that could have potentially been ruined was the reception, so I don’t know.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For The Clothes That My Roommate Ruined?
“My roommate (21 F) and I (24 F) have got along so well from the jump. Besides some small cleanliness issues on her end, we get a lot really well. We’ve lived together for about 7 months now. We met from a mutual friend who is a flight attendant.
My roommate is gone a lot and I deal with a lot of house chores alone. (Not to say it bothers me) However my roommate made friends with a friend flight attendant, and the friend and I DO NOT GET ALONG. I don’t mean to be dramatic because I never have problems with people in general, however, hers and my personality do not mesh.
My roommate’s friend has been over a lot recently. Which bothers me but that’s her friend.
Tonight they went out and so did I. After getting back I wanted to wash my laundry, and I saw that there were clothes in the wash so I added a pod to it as we normally do (since she’s gone often I usually add to or do laundry or keeping up based on what is left behind) after they get back after a night out… the clothes are entirely ruined. Her friend insisted I pay for her clothes as she left a red lipstick in the shorts pocket of her clothes and it ruined the laundry.
I usually am super calm but this time I went off… she began talking down to me and yelling when it truly was just a mistake.
After getting treated so badly I stopped and said ‘I feel so bad that that happened, however, you shouldn’t have left that in the clothes’.
It’s not that serious, and the damage is already done. She insisted that I pay her back for the new clothes that she had just bought and ‘How dare I wash the clothes without checking because if it was her she was going to check the clothes before she washed them.’ I told her this is our home.
I wash the laundry when things are in the washing machine, so I’m sorry that happened, but I’m not paying for things. Her friend has been washing her clothes in the sink very vigorously and very dramatically and this proves the point of why she and I do not get along.
Am I the jerk for refusing to pay for the clothes that she ruined with her own lipstick that she put in the washing machine?”
5. AITJ For Deciding Not To Go To My Best Friend's Wedding?
“My (f, 24) best friend (f, 22) is getting married in just under 3 weeks. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid, and I’ve been excited for the wedding since before the engagement (I knew her partner was going to propose).
I’ve helped with making decisions on the wedding, helped with the hen do (bachelorette party), bought my bridesmaid dress, and booked my hotel. I love them as a couple and they’re both my best friends.
I’ve been with my partner (m, 24) for 2.5 years and have known him and his family for 10 years.
When we first became a couple, he told me his dad had terminal lung cancer. 3 months ago, we found out that the cancer had spread to his brain and he was given 3 months to live. Over that time, his health started to decline slowly, and then suddenly over the last month.
Due to all of this, we had to miss the hen do as we would have to be away for a few days but we didn’t want to leave my partner’s dad (my best friend and I live 2 hours apart and we don’t drive).
Trains are expensive and take even longer than driving so a last-minute rush from the hen do to his dad would be near impossible if anything was to happen.
We are now at the end of his dad’s prognosis and he is currently in the last stages of death.
A few days ago, my best friend demanded an answer on whether we would be at the wedding or not. Up until then, we believed we would’ve been able to attend but now we are unsure what will happen. As she demanded an answer since she didn’t want us to cancel last minute, we decided to decline attending as we didn’t want to leave it to the day before, despite us being heartbroken we wouldn’t be there.
A few weeks ago, my best friend said to make my partner’s dad the priority over the wedding day. She clearly changed her mind in response to my message explaining our choice, she only screenshot it and then instantly kicked me from the bridesmaid group chat.
Then she ignored me for the following few days.
When she finally responded, she said that she understood why my partner wasn’t attending but didn’t understand why I wasn’t, and she was devastated and angry over the choice. I explained that I refuse to leave my partner alone during one of the hardest things he’ll experience, his dad also means a lot to me as I had no contact with my dad 2 years ago and since then, my partner’s dad has basically stepped up and been a father figure to me, so I want to be there for him too.
I’m also disabled and haven’t traveled alone overnight since 2019. She’s still really upset and angry and is ignoring me once again. She’d said that a few people in her life were on her side, yet people in my life understand my POV and are upset and shocked with her.
So I’m confused. Am I the jerk?”
4. AITJ For Going Home With The Kids?
“So today was my day off during the week which I like to use for cleaning the house, running errands, and relaxing in the evening.
So my wife and I were running errands with our two kids (2 years old and 3 months old) and everything was going fine. We got groceries, washed the car, and made a stop at a store about 20-30 minutes away from home. It’s getting close to the time we have dinner so we start heading home.
As we’re going home my wife says we need to stop by a department store so she can pick up something she ordered that they shipped to the store. That’s fine the store is on the way home about 15 minutes from our house.
My wife assures me it’ll only be like 10 minutes. That’s cool.
As we’re driving to the store the older child falls asleep because they didn’t get their nap, so I tell her to run in and I’ll stay in the car with the kids.
She goes in, 10 minutes go by, and 20 minutes go by. No prob. Maybe there’s a line. 30 minutes, 40 minutes, she’s still gone. I called her to see if she was okay, no answer. I call her again at 50 minutes and she says she hasn’t picked the thing up because she saw something she wanted to try on so she’s been doing that.
I ask her to finish up so we can go home because our kid is tired and needs dinner and bed. I wait. Still nothing.
After an hour I call again and she says she’s gonna be a while. Her mom showed up and they’re trying stuff on.
I tell her to please hurry, the car has been running, gas is expensive, and our kids are starting to wake up. Again she says she’s almost done. During this time both of our kids wake up and start screaming/crying. I get the older one calmed down, but the younger one is hungry and my body doesn’t work that way so I can’t feed him.
It’s been 1.5 hours. I call her and tell her I’m leaving with the kids because they’re starving and tired. She can get a ride home with her mom who lives near us. She huffs and says she’s coming so I wait another 10 minutes and she’s still not there so I leave.
As I was driving I got angry calls from her and MIL about how could I abandon my wife at the store like that. My MIL says I was a jerk and way out of line.
So, AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be A Bridesmaid Because Of My Pregnancy?
“My friend of 10 years recently got engaged. She had already asked me a while ago if I would be her bridesmaid when she got married (this was at least a year before she got engaged).
Once she got engaged she messaged me and told me approximately when she was thinking of getting married and the location.
Unfortunately, the wedding date coincides with when I think I may be heavily pregnant or I may have a newborn baby (my partner and I want to start a family straight after we get married).
Her wedding location is also about 7 hours away in another country so would require some serious travel.
As soon as she messaged me I rang her (she lives about 2 hours away and my schedule is hectic at the moment as I planning my own wedding so I didn’t have time to tell her face to face, which in hindsight would have been better).
I called her and told her that although I would love to be a bridesmaid I am more than likely going to be pregnant or have a newborn baby at the time of her wedding, so I don’t think I can commit to being a bridesmaid as I may have to back out of the wedding at short notice.
She took this news very badly – she was trying to interrupt me on the call and then when I asked her ‘how the wedding planning was going’ she said it was all going down and then she hung up. She hasn’t spoken to me in nearly 2 months.
As a side note, she has constantly stated how much she hates surprises, has a tight budget and she likes to plan things in advance. I thought the best thing to do would be to tell her straight away instead of leaving it until a couple of months before her actual wedding and before she spends any amount on bridesmaid dresses etc. AITJ?
Edit: Just to clarify a few things.
– The friendship – I have known her for 10 years, however, she is not my best friend.
– She is not a bridesmaid at my wedding – my sister and my best friend are bridesmaids. The date of her wedding is approximately 14 months after mine.
– When she asked if I’d be a bridesmaid it wasn’t in a serious conversation – we were in a group setting and saying ‘Oh we’ll be in the same nursing home together’ or ‘Ow we’ll be bridesmaids’. Myself and another friend didn’t take this conversation seriously.
The other friend is a bridesmaid and she also felt a little caught off guard that the bride took this conversation seriously.
– Timeframe – She got engaged and it was about a week later that she sent the message about bridesmaid duties. The actual day of her engagement I rang her to congratulate her.
During that phone call, she never mentioned me being a bridesmaid.
– Her wedding – I am very happy that she is engaged and excited about her wedding. It’s a destination wedding (train or plane to get there) with a destination hen do. This is definitely not a ‘just turn up in a bridesmaid dress’ commitment.
She wants pre-wedding photo shoots with bridesmaids and is expecting bridesmaids to turn up to help pick flower arrangements, go over seating plans, help send out invites, etc.”
2. AITJ For Sneaking Out Of My Sister's Wedding?
“A few months ago my (31 M) sister (29 F) announced that she was going to get married. The planning process took a while but the date and venue were agreed on.
Now, my sister has a baby (1 M) that just loves to cry. He cries all the time unless someone takes him outside for fresh air.
So a few days ago the wedding started. Because I was out of town I missed the night before the wedding (basically a get-together period for family members and a big party) but showed up for the ceremony and reception.
The second I got there my sister asked me to take the baby outside in order to calm him down. I agreed because the ceremony hadn’t started yet, but she asked me to take the baby outside again a while later. When I asked why the baby didn’t have a sitter, she said that they spent all the funds on the ceremony and parties.
I was kind of annoyed because I wanted to sit in on the ceremony, but just about everyone jumped on me telling me to do my sister a favor and that ‘it was her day’. I asked her about when I was expected to take the baby out for fresh air, and she gave me this huge list of times that basically meant I missed out on the important parts.
I wouldn’t be there for the exchanging of vows, the reception, the aisle walk, the readings, the kiss, etc.
I figured out that in total I would have about 30 minutes actually sitting inside, and the rest was just about the baby. When I pointed this out to her she said someone would videotape it for me but I wasn’t convinced. I wanted to watch my sister reach a milestone, and that was what I came for.
I told her that someone else could watch the baby for her and that as her brother I wanted to watch the wedding, and not have to miss her getting married. Again, she told me to ‘just do it’.
I was really mad, but tried not to show it on the outside.
When I asked about the reception, she told me, ‘Oh, you’ll have to miss out. (Baby’s name) needs to be outside and has to be fed.’
That was the final straw, and when my mother was holding the baby I slipped out and just left. The next day I get a call from my sister, and she’s screaming about how I ruined her wedding and how the baby wouldn’t stop crying.
I told her that I left because she treated me like a babysitter instead of a guest/family member, and said that it was her fault if she couldn’t get a nanny or ask a friend to do it. Since then I’ve been nuked with calls from family calling me selfish and telling me that I’m effectively disowned unless I apologize.
I see no reason to. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Giving My Daughter's College Fund To His Brother?
“I (58 F) have two children, Anna (26 F) and Logan (32 M). Both are college graduates and doing good, my husband (who has sadly passed away) and I set up college funds for both of them, Logan used his when he went to college but Anna got a full ride to a good university and hers was left untouched.
My husband and I agreed to let it there in the case and that was it, my daughter’s is currently moving here and there living her life and has no intention of buying a house, over the years she has expressed her desire to do a masters or take some courses, but her life is so hectic and full right now that I don’t blame her for not looking at it further.
A few years ago, I also expressed my desire to take some baking classes and she encouraged me to take some of the funds for it, she has also said that I can take from it in case I need it or want it since money is not a problem to her right now.
Logan, on the other case, is very eager to expand his education since this will allow him to grow in his career and job field however he can’t afford it while living on his own and having his own expenses, even if he moves back, he won’t be able to cut it since he’ll have to take less hours in order to go, so I said we could use the money since my daughter has, as said before, encouraged me to use it.
We just paid his first semester and everything was fine.
Anna visited me a few days ago and said she was happy for her brother and that if she could help, in any way, she was happy to since some of her friend had told her master’s isn’t cheap.
I just told her that we were using the fund she left so everything was fine, she just looked confused and said ‘My fund?’ And I said yes, she just asked why her fund since it was meant FOR HER, and I said that she had allowed me to take some of it here and there so I thought… She said paying for Logan’s masters was different since it meant the fund might be left dry by the time she had to do her own.
She left my house in tears and when Logan found out, he refused the money and said he’d pay back what we took. Now both my kids are sad and I don’t get it. My sister said I created a mess.”
