People Want To Know Whose Side We're On In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
34. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Old Boss?
“Last year in September my old boss decided (against recommendations of me and every single one of my colleagues) to hire a new coworker who appeared to be an absolute witch. She was disgusting, rude, and a bully. After multiple complaints not being heard by my manager I decided to start looking for a new job.
Pretty soon I got an offer to become a professor at the university. It would pay 6 times as much as my job at that point where I was making minimum wage. That plus the situation with my coworkers (I was the youngest and except for 3 nice colleagues and the owner of the company, every single colleague treated me like trash for almost 5 years) made me want to accept the job immediately.
By the end of October, I resigned and by the end of November, I was gone.
At the end of November at the latest, legally, I should have received my wages for November and before the end of the year (promised in writing it would be November, but legally speaking end of the year) I should have received my final account, which was still 2 weeks of paid vacation time, 8% of everything I had earned since June as a bonus (stated in my contract) and the 750 extra hours that I worked outside my contract.
After quitting though, they didn’t pay my wages for November and none of the other things either. After contacting them pretty much every week about it and getting the lamest excuses, I finally got my wages for November 4 weeks late and the final account was paid only one week ago.
I’ve let them know, even after getting paid, that none of this was okay, as I had to pay rent as well, and they were making me go into debt by taking a loan to actually pay my rent as my salary for a new job would be a month later.
I’ve had to threaten them with legal action and only then they paid me.
As you can understand this was a very hard split and was mentally draining. But now today they started calling for my help. They were saying no one is able to do what I did there and I should come back to help them out as loyalty for being employed for almost 5 years.
Apart from coming back they also wanted me to go find someone to replace me despite them never asking for that in the month I still worked there after resigning.
Of course, I let them know that I was not doing anything for them anymore after that kind of split.
They then proceeded to tell me that it was not their fault, because the mother of ONE OF THE administration workers was sick and that’s why they couldn’t pay me. I asked them if no one was paid then, but that obviously was not the case.
Since then my old colleagues have all been calling me non-stop that I should stop overreacting and help them out, because if I don’t and the company fails it would be my fault if they might lose their jobs.
Some others I know have told me I’m being unreasonable after 5 years of work and always being paid on time until my resignation.
Am I really overreacting and AITJ for being mad about it and not helping anyone there out anymore?”
33. AITJ For Telling My Broke Sister To Return The Expensive Sewing Machine?
“My sister bought a $900 sewing machine as retail therapy after her daughter died. A day earlier she told me she couldn’t afford groceries and needed help with her bills so I paid them. When she asked for more money I told her to return the sewing machine.
She screamed at me that I don’t know what it was like to lose a child.
Multiple possible ways this gets complicated, but my older sister (F 42) has been asking me for funds to help pay her bills every month since she lost her job when the global crisis started. I’ve been helping her out with over $1000 a month for the last 2 years as she can never seem to hold down a job or keep up with her expenses.
Now, here is where it’s more complicated. About a month ago her eldest daughter (F 24), who has been estranged and in and out of prison for years, has died. I try to see what I can do to help out a bit more and she is crying about how bad her finances are and that she needs more help.
She has no food and cannot afford to buy any groceries. I offer to buy her groceries and then she asks if I can help pay all her other bills for the month. Considering she was upset about losing her daughter, I order her some groceries and then ask her to send me all the statements for her bills so I can see what I can do.
Moving forward a month and she is asking for help again, so I again ask for the statements to see what needs to get paid. I see on one of the statements, that THE DAY AFTER I bought her groceries and paid all her bills, she went out and spent over $900 at a sewing machine store, along with another $700 on shoes and books all around town.
I ask, is this a mistake? Can you take this back? She tells me it was a great deal and it was the last sewing machine they had left and she bought it to make her grandson a special blanket. I say… look you need to return this, you just can’t afford it.
She says sure she will look into it.
Two weeks later, she reaches out and says she can’t afford firewood and it’s cold. So I ask if she returned the sewing machine. She says, no, that was actually a gift for her youngest daughter for her 18th birthday and she can’t take it back.
I try to explain that she should really return it if she cant afford to heat her home let alone pay her bills. She screams at me ‘Talk to me about this after YOU lose a child.’ and hangs up. She texts me later to apologize, but also says she is barely staying alive and not to ask her about the sewing machine again because she doesn’t need any advice about her finances.”
32. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Drive Until She Learns To Drive With One Foot?
“At 15 when my (40 M) daughter (17 F) was legally allowed to get her learner’s permit, she was very eager to drive and it was the first thing she went to do.
She gets it. I and my wife (37 F) take turns teaching her how to drive. She does very well on the real road and learns quickly, which I already expected given her history on ATVs (I know a car/ATV are totally different, but still).
Fast forward a year later & she goes for her license test and passes it on the first try. She’s a great kid, is doing well in school, & has proved to my wife and me that she can safely navigate the roads on her own.
So given the passing test and her birthday being around the same time we decide to gift her a car. She freaks, everyone’s happy, yay.
Fast forward almost ANOTHER year later and my daughter is almost 17. She’s been driving for a good year and a half, almost 2.
I ask her for a ride to the grocery store because I didn’t feel like taking my truck, she obliged & we were on our way when I dropped something on the floor of the car. Leaning down to pick it up I look over and notice that my daughter is driving with two feet.
Left for the brake. Right for the gas. In an automatic. I asked her what she was doing and she was obviously confused, and when I explained what I meant she laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal. I let her drive the rest of the way to the store but on the way back I took her keys and told her I would be driving us back.
She freaked out and asked what my problem with her driving was all of a sudden, and I told her that this was an extremely dangerous way to drive & that she is putting herself/possibly others at risk by driving this way. She just denied that that was the case and was silent the rest of the way.
When I got home I asked her to sit down in the kitchen and called my wife in to back me up on this, but unbelievably she was on my daughter’s side and even said it was a good trait to have just in case she ever wants to learn stickshift one day.
My daughter has never expressed wanting to learn stick, and I doubt she will anytime soon. Besides, the car she is driving is automatic. I argued with them that this was dangerous because when you drive using two feet, your reaction time is delayed significantly.
Not only that but in a split-second occurrence, you have a way higher possibility of mixing up the two pedals if you’re using both feet.
My daughter argued back that she has been driving this way since she learned and that it would be more dangerous to try and learn the traditional technique at this point and brought up that she had never had an accident prior.
I wasn’t hearing any of it and decided to take her keys away.
My wife & daughter have been giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. We have been driving our daughter around. I just care about my daughter’s safety but am starting to feel like a jerk.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Choosing My Best Friend Over My Sister?
“My best friend (21 F) and I have been best friends since kindergarten. Despite our meeting first and the age difference, my sister (24 F) and my best friend also got along great. We were like a trio for many years and my sister often joked we were her two annoying little sisters.
Whenever we would meet new people my sister would always introduce my best friend as her sis, and sometimes people didn’t realize for months we weren’t actually related.
Last year my best friend’s significant other broke up with her. He told her that he had feelings for someone else and couldn’t pretend like he didn’t any longer.
My best friend and her SO had been together since the seventh grade and she honestly thought she was going to marry this guy.
When my family found out they were all mad for her and said the guy wasn’t worth her anyway. That was until they found out that ‘someone else’ was my sister and that she liked him back.
After that, they all quickly changed their tune and acted as if the situation couldn’t be helped and stopped backing up my best friend.
I, on the other hand, did not change sides. I was in disbelief that my sister could do this to someone she referred to as family for years.
Not only that but she did this despite knowing and could change the relationship dynamic of my best friend and me since kindergarten. Not only did she have no regard for their friendship but also mine, and the relationship between my sister and me. She chose a guy over all of that.
And if she did that to her other ‘little sister’ what proves she wouldn’t do the same to me?
I told her that if she chose him, this might cause a strain in our relationship that was irreparable. She must have thought that I didn’t mean it.
For the past year, our relationship has been distant despite us growing up so close.
When I got engaged my fiance told me that I would have to choose between my sister and best friend. My fiance had told my best friend that she was planning to propose to me, when my best friend heard this, she told my fiance that she wouldn’t be able to stomach seeing my sister and her ex together at the wedding.
She told her that she didn’t want to give me an ultimatum but that for her mental she couldn’t go if my sister was attending.
I took a week milling it over and I chose my best friend. My fiance told me after I made my decision that she also agreed I should choose my best friend over my sister.
My family was livid. They said my best friend was not my sister and I should choose my ‘real’ sister. And that she’s not a real friend for making me choose. They said since it’s been a year she should be over it already and that I would be the jerk to not invite my sister.
I love my sister, but she’s the one who put herself in this position, and I’m not going to make someone else suffer the consequences.”
30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Sister Free Childcare Anymore?
“So my sister went through a very bad breakup with her ex-fiancé and he doesn’t take care of their two kids AT ALL. Because of this my sister was a single mom for a long time and as her only other sibling and sister of course I helped her when she asked. I work from home and my job allows me to watch children as well since it’s very simple so taking care of my well-behaved niece and nephew isn’t a problem for me since my sister can’t afford childcare.
My sister received no child support so if it was helping her I was fine with it. She told me she doesn’t want child support because she doesn’t need it and is doing fine without it and she never wants to speak to her deadbeat ex again.
Eight months ago my sister started going out with this guy and I was so happy for her. He seemed like a great guy. Two months ago my sister just randomly brought up that he has a daughter to me casually in a story she was telling about him.
I was surprised since she never had before. I had to stop her and say wait what he has a kid too? She said that he’s not in the daughter’s life because the mother is a horrible person and this and that and they both had an affair and it’s too difficult.
I was like okay…
She’s constantly telling me about how this guy is the best father figure to her kids and that they call him dad and he spends all this money on them. I asked what about his daughter and she gets mad and says to stop bringing up that he has a kid and she should have never told me.
I asked her how she’s comfortable being with a deadbeat but always complains about her ex being one. I told her he also tells the same story to other women about her being too difficult to co-parent with and that’s why he’s not in her kids’ lives.
She got mad at me and told me to mind my business. I told her that since this guy is her kids’ new stepdad he can also pay for their childcare.
I told my sister that since she’s with a deadbeat I’m not going to be her childcare since the only reason I’m watching her kids is because she can’t afford childcare on her own and since she refuses to put her ex on child support BECAUSE he’s a deadbeat, then she’s a hypocrite.
She said he would never pay that and that if I stop being her childcare she’s gonna have to put her ex on child support to pay for it and she doesn’t want to reintroduce him in her or their kids’ lives and I’m overreacting and I’m the jerk.
Am I?”
29. AITJ For Asking My Father-In-Law To Explain His Joke?
“I (27 F) used to be an ‘escort’ from 18 until I was 23. I’m not proud of it but I also don’t care because I did what I had to do to keep studying and a roof over my head. That’s how I met my now fiancé (37 M) tho he was never my client.
We began to date when I was 25 and three or four months after that his BIL ‘exposed me’ (no idea how he found out) because ‘there’s no way my fiancé knew’ and thus we had to come clean in front of his whole family. Yes, I did that.
Yes, he knows. Yes, he doesn’t care. It was 2 years ago (at that time), we got over it. After that there was a span of 3-4 months in were my MIL and some of my fiancé’s aunts and cousin ‘police’ their husbands when I was around.
It was really weird, to be honest, because these dudes were like 40-60 years old and I wasn’t that desperate, so my fiancé shut their crap hard and even when his family still gives me the side eye from time to time. We thought it was behind us.
He proposed last year and five months ago we found out that I was pregnant. We were really happy about it and we told his family as soon as we knew. His sisters and young brother were happy for us, but his mom took me aside and ‘begged’ me to be honest with her and asked if this was really my fiancé’s child.
I was taken aback but I just rolled my eyes and said yes. She gave me some trashy speech about how ‘she only wanted to make sure’ and that ‘she was happy to be a grandmother’.
Well, last weekend we were at his parents with his family and some of his friends and we were talking about the name, how he might look (small talk, we will love him regardless but there’s always some ‘Oh I hope he gets your nose!’ ‘Mmh I like your eyes, I hope he gets them’ comments) and my FIL said that he and his children have a birthmark in the inner tight and that even his grandchildren (one of my SIL’s kids) got them, so our baby might too, and then he said ‘But how can we know from who he got it?
it may as well be from me, my boy, or my brothers’ and he and his brothers began to laugh. My fiancé got mad and before he could say anything I said ‘I don’t get it’ and my FIL was ‘Yeah because it runs in the family’ and I said again ‘I don’t get it, why would he get it from you?’ and he began to get nervous and said ‘because you know… it’s just a joke OP’ and I said ‘but I don’t get it and you all laughed, explain’ it got to the point that some of his friends said ‘Hey, it’s not funny’ so he excused himself and left.
Later my fiancé’s BIL came to me and said that I was wrong for embarrassing him like that in his own house and that I knew what the joke was about and ‘because of my past’, I shouldn’t be surprised. Now they’re all demanding that I apologize to my FIL.”
28. AITJ For Not Helping My Mom Fix Her Printer?
“I (28 m) lived with my mom (60 F) until I was like 24, and then I moved back in with her during the global crisis (she fell ill with something and needed me to care for her, though I’m not going to lie and say that living with her wasn’t a financial boon), and only recently moved back out at the start of the new year.
For the most part, we get along, but my mother is absolutely useless with tech to a degree that I suspect is ‘learned helplessness.’
One night while I was out, my mother had to call my phone because she didn’t know how to turn on the TV (turns out she kept turning the cable box on and off), and when I lived with her not a week would go by where she didn’t have some computer problem that couldn’t be solved by a quick googling.
I want to emphasize the fact that my mother has been using computers since before I was born, we had a nice Apple II in the house when I was growing up and I personally don’t have any education in computer science… my mom’s been using computers for as long as I’ve been around and simply has never developed the skills to troubleshoot her own problems. I have, repeatedly, tried to teach her how to solve her own issues before bugging me, but she seems too lazy or too incapable of googling the issue.
When I moved out again, I made it very clear that I was really kind of tired of being treated as her tech support and told her that I wouldn’t be coming around to help her much. Recently, she got a new printer and called me to come over and ask me how to set it up.
My first question was ‘Did you read the manual, Mom?’ and she told me that she had. I was free the following day so I said I’d come over and take a look at it, but I emphasized that I really, really would appreciate it if she tried to set it up herself first.
When I get to her house, I walked into her home office, opened the box the printer came in, and… there was the manual, still in its original baggie, unopened. I simply told my mom that she lied to me and that I was done helping her, and I left the house and went home.
Not only has she been blowing up my phone alternating between sadness and anger, but I’ve received lots of calls from my uncle and cousins telling me I treated my mother ‘cruelly’. Was I in the wrong? Is it too much to expect her to be able to turn on her own TV and plug in her own printer?
EDIT: I want to make it clear that since moving out I still visit my mother plenty of times, and live close by. She isn’t missing me by any stretch of the imagination, and isn’t (apparently) using tech support as an excuse to get me to come over.”
27. AITJ For Making A Snarky Come Back To My Partner's Sister's Insulting Comment?
“I am from Morocco. When I was 12 I had a car accident that resulted in me losing my leg and a noticeable scar on my face and neck. I was never treated badly or bullied because I lived in a small town and everyone knew me.
But in high school, understandably, I never had a chance with girls.
I came to the US for college and the first 2 years were difficult. The only reason it started to get better was because I met a person that doesn’t treat me differently or look disgusted at me.
One day I was walking to my place at night and she asked if I could walk her to her car. I said sure but if we encounter a mugger she should take my leg and hit them and she laughed. After we reached her car she gave me her number and we started talking to each other.
And while it’s still difficult to deal with the abuse in a foreign country, now I have a person that I can talk to and care about. I never imagined I’d make friends let alone have a significant other.
Yesterday we were at her place when her sister called saying that she wanted to see her before leaving town.
My partner was upstairs when her sister arrived. I went to open the door and she was very surprised to see me and she said ‘Sorry I didn’t think I was coming to the freak show’. I never felt more hurt over an insult like I was at that moment so I replied ‘Sorry.
We didn’t order an escort for this room but I can still pay you for your troubles’. She was very offended and angry like you could see her face and eyes change. When my partner came down she told her I called her an escort and how she could do much much better than me and she left. I told my partner what really happened but she wasn’t interested in hearing my side at that moment because she was going out to follow her sister.
I left shortly after and went back to my place and I cried myself to sleep
This morning my partner called and was very furious at me because her sister told the family. Now she is embarrassed to see them and demanding I apologize to her.
I told her there was no way that I will say sorry to her. I told her yes I was wrong and shouldn’t have made a sexist comment but it was really incomparable to what she did. I never did anything to her so why did she feel the need to be cruel to me just for existing?
She said it still doesn’t give me the right to be misogynist and asked if I would be okay if we had a daughter and people made sexist comments to her.
I told her that I’d prefer if my daughter or son didn’t insult people who did nothing to them and especially not for something they have no control over.
I said I find it very disrespectful that she doesn’t care about my feeling over this and instead choose to defend her sister and talk about hypothetical situations. I told her I don’t have the energy to talk anymore and I won’t be apologizing to her sister and I hung up.”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting To Deal With Someone Who Claims My Son Hit His Car?
“I (26 M) took my 8-year-old to buy some pizzas this evening. My son is still small for his age, so for safety reasons, he still rides in the backseat with a special chair, however, he pretty much does everything for himself. He puts the seat belt on, takes it off, gets off the chair, and opens the car door to get out.
As I said, my son is small. He’s not that strong. I’ve seen him open that door plenty of times and he only does it enough to just get out and leaves it open for me to close it.
We arrive and I park next to a dude (30?) that’s still in his car.
My son does what I just explain and I go to close his door, but the guy gets off his car and says that ‘My kid hit his with the door’. I just look at the space my son left between our cars and it’s obvious he didn’t do it, but I don’t want to fight so I just say ‘sorry’.
He answers ‘No sorry, pay’ and I was like what?! I haven’t closed the door yet and I tell him ”Dude come here, he didn’t hit your car?’ and he’s like ‘No no, you moved it, it wasn’t like that, he hit it’ and I’m like ‘No, he didn’t, look at the friggin space.’ He then turns to my son and says in a very condescending way ‘You hit it bud, tell daddy to pay’.
My kid gets scared and just mumbles ‘Dad I didn’t do it’ and I believe him. I just close the door, take my kid’s hand and tell him to not speak to my son ever again. We walk a little and he says this is a hit and run.
To be honest, this is getting crazy so I just say if he shows me proof that I hit his car then I’ll pay. If not, leave me alone. My son is dead silent. I cheer him up once we’re buying the pizzas and when we’re walking to our car he just says sorry again.
The guy left by that point.
Kiddo told her mom who said I was a jerk for ‘exposing our kid’ and that I should’ve just paid to get it over with. To be honest, I didn’t see it that way until she pointed it out.
I did tried to take my son our of there fast, but I wasn’t planning on letting some dude take advantage of us, maybe my pride got the best of me?”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be My Friend's Maid Of Honor?
“I work full time and am the sole caregiver for my husband. He is still able to do a lot for himself but there’s also still a lot that falls on me and because of this I’m constantly exhausted and trying to find time and energy to do everything I need to do.
My friends know this though some don’t really understand how time-consuming and exhausting it is because they see him able to do things at gatherings.
A friend of mine is getting married and asked me to be the maid of honor. I was touched that she asked but told her that while I was thankful for the offer I couldn’t accept.
I let her know I was still willing to be a bridesmaid or just a guest if she preferred that but that I couldn’t take on the responsibility of being maid of honor at this time. She blew up at me and said I’m being selfish and a bad friend.
She also said that ‘everyone’ thinks I’ve been extremely selfish this past year because I don’t hang out with them as much as I used to. I made the comment that I didn’t work a little over a year ago so of course I had more time but she just said that was me making excuses like always.
I gave up on arguing with her and just repeated that I don’t have the time/energy to commit to being maid of honor, she then told me I didn’t need to bother finding the time/energy to even come to the wedding at all.
Now the entire friend group is split with some taking her side and saying I’m wrong for not making an effort and others taking my side saying she needs to recognize my other responsibilities. The replacement maid of honor has 4 kids under the age of 6 and the bride and those that agree with her are just using a s moor proof that I’m being selfish.
It’s ended up a huge mess, causing problems with the whole group, and changing how everyone feels about the wedding. I feel horrible and didn’t want any of that to happen. Now the bride is saying I can fix it all if I just agree to be ‘co-maid of honor’.
I still feel like that’s too much for me to take on. So AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Blaming My Wife For Having Kids At Our Wedding?
“I met my wife almost 2 years ago through some common friends. When I met her she was heavily pregnant with her ex’s child but her ex wanted nothing to do with her and the kid and dumped her. We got together a bit after she gave birth and I loved the baby like my own.
The kid has just turned 2. Later on, she got pregnant with our child and gave birth 6 months ago. I had proposed to her during the pregnancy and started planning the wedding straight away.
While planning the wedding I made it clear how I’d like a kid-free wedding but my wife was against it because she loves the vibes kids bring to weddings.
She’s also from the Balkans so having kids at weddings is very important to her because weddings are usually family oriented in her culture. We eventually came to a compromise and only allowed kids over the age of 10. She wanted to bring our kids as well but I told her I’m against that because who’s going to take care of them?
She said our parents will help us out and I told her I am not going to ask my parents to babysit instead of having fun at my wedding. She said I’m being really unfair not trying to find a solution with her and how important it is to her to include our kids in the wedding.
I told her she’s the one who wants them there so it’s on her to find a solution.
Her parents had said they’d help her out with the kids but they ended up enjoying themselves during our wedding last weekend. My wife barely danced and got up at all because she was caring for the kids and running after them the entire time.
She complained how everyone else enjoyed her wedding but she as a bride didn’t even get to dance more than twice. I told her it was her fault and she shouldn’t bring the kids in the first place especially the 2-year-old because she was the one causing the most trouble during the wedding running around the whole time.
My parents also scolded her and told her she was very entitled for expecting them to babysit the kids while they were having fun at their only son’s wedding. My wife said we are all jerks for not trying to see her point and how we all cared more about our own fun and comfort and we tossed the bride to the side and she feels nobody cared about her the entire time.
AITJ?
Edit: I’d only agree to hire a babysitter if my wife decided to leave the kids at home. I didn’t want a babysitter at the wedding. The reason is that I didn’t want a stranger at my wedding. My wife knew I wouldn’t agree on a babysitter to attend the wedding so she can watch the kids.
She didn’t find out last minute. She could communicate better with her friends and family to help her out if having the kids there was that important to her and she also wanted to enjoy herself.”
23. AITJ For Refusing To Help Fund My Sister-In-Law's Expensive Destination Wedding?
“I (30 F) and my husband (32 M) share a home with my sister-in-law and her fiance (let’s call him Tom).
After they lost their jobs in 2020. When we first agreed to let them live with us they promised us that it would only be for a month.
It’s been a year in which Tom has gotten a new job that doesn’t nearly pay as much as his old one.
We have tried to convince my SIL to get a job or help around the house but she insisted that the stress of the global crisis has made her unfit to work. Tom agrees and refuses to make her get a job even though his job doesn’t let him make enough for them to get an apartment in the near future.
Recently my SIL and Tom started planning their wedding and had the nerve to ask us to help fund an expensive wedding on a beach in a foreign country. This happened while I was preparing to kick them out. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened most of my husband’s family doesn’t have high-paying jobs and asking me (The high-earner of the family) to pay for stuff has been an ongoing thing.
So of course I said no and insisted that if they wanted an expensive wedding they would have to pay for it themselves. My husband and Tom tried to convince me to help pay since I have a high-paying job but I refuse. My SIL stormed out of the house as soon as I said no and has been complaining about me to anyone who would listen.
My husband has always been the one insisting on keeping them around every time I bring up kicking them out. But now I feel like he has pushed it too far this time. So now the family is divided in half with most of my relatives taking my SIL’s side and I am being attacked online by my SIL’s friends and close family.
I and my husband are giving each other silent treatment over this. So AITJ?”
22. WIBTJ If I Don't Want To Leave Much Of My Estate To My Stepson?
“I have an estate in the low 8 figures. I remarried six years ago, so I am in the process of revising my estate plan and have a dilemma on what to leave my biological child vs my stepchild once I pass.
If I were to pass, the plan would be for everything to go to my wife in a trust. Once she passes, or if we both pass at the same time, how things get split between children is the big question.
My biological child is 28 years old, and my stepchild is 25 years old.
They are not very close as they live far apart and have not spent much time together. I clearly did not raise my stepchild, nor has he lived with us at all. I do not really know my stepchild very well as he has always been living elsewhere.
He’s a nice young man, but I have not had any influence on his development or life, and still don’t have much since he’s an adult and mostly on his own. He gets a little financial help here and there if he needs it as he is still getting his feet under him.
My biological child is completely on her own.
Most of my wealth I accumulated prior to marrying my second wife. Therefore, I do not feel a strong obligation to leave much of my estate to my stepson. My idea was to split the estate 10% to my stepson and 90% to my biological child once my wife passes and if there is anything left. That may seem very lopsided, but for every million dollars left, my stepson would get $100K.
I think that’s very generous considering he has not been in my life long, I continue to have no influence, and I played no role in his upbringing. My wife makes the decisions regarding her son, and therefore I really have no say in anything related to him.
Please note that legally there is no obligation for a parent to leave anything in their estate to a stepchild nor do the stepchildren have rights to a stepparent’s estate. I could change the ratio later if I felt differently.
My wife does not have much to her estate.
She has a condo that she would leave to her son and would not be designating anything in her will to go to my child. I’m okay with that.
Am I a jerk for the ratio split I have chosen?”
21. AITJ For "Punishing" My Husband For Helping His Sister?
“We have a family of 5 (3 kids under the age of 11 and 2 adults).
We live paycheck to paycheck and I have to coupon and pinch pennies most weeks. I do have a garden and livestock but it only goes so far (limited yard space + town code).
My SIL is an individual who gets nearly $1000 a month for food stamps despite only having one child and 3 working adults in the home (plus she has no big bills due to inheriting a paid-off home so it’s only land tax of $280 a year).
She has a significant amount of money more than us due to this. She invites us down for dinner 3 nights ago and asks my husband to bring a dish. He decides he wants to do a casserole that costs easily $60 to make (considering the portions).
I told him we would have to bring the leftovers home because that’s a lot of money.
Needless to say, no one at the dinner touched the dish he prepared. I leave early because the kids were tired and he comes home without the leftovers hours later.
I ask where they are and he said his sister asked if she could keep them because she didn’t feel like cooking and claimed he felt cornered and couldn’t say no. His sister is 100% aware of how hard up we are too so the amount of selfishness and disrespect baffles me to the highest degree.
Those leftovers would have fed this household of 5 for 2 days. I was LIVID for obvious reasons. This means that the $60 he spent was basically thrown down the drain and we couldn’t afford it.
For the past 2 nights, I have only been making the kids dinner (not even myself) to save on food costs because I need to make up for this.
$60 with my couponing at a grocery store would have been enough grocery to last us about a week and a half but he didn’t use coupons to buy the meal (he went while I was at work) and therefore, we need to recoup. So yeah, I have only been making my kids food and I personally have been eating things from the garden (cucumbers, tomatoes).
He said I am being a jerk and punishing him for wanting to ‘help’ his sister, who, in my opinion, was simply lazy and didn’t feel like cooking for her 1 child with the free food that she gets from food stamps. But no matter how I put it, he still thinks I am the jerk here.”
20. AITJ For Only Picking Up My Own Smoothies From Now On?
“I (27 f) work in an office building that’s around 10 minutes walk from a local smoothie shop. I often walk there on my lunch break, and I used to ask around and see if anyone wanted anything before I went, and they would pay me back when I brought them their drinks.
A couple of coworkers would not pay me back straight away but bought me drinks when we went out to a bar for a work mixer, so it evened out. One of my coworkers (52 f) has started being more and more relaxed about paying me back, to the point where I had bought her about 5 smoothies and had nothing in return.
The next time I went on a smoothie run, I politely asked if she could transfer me some funds or give me some cash for the drinks I’d bought her the week before, and she apologized for forgetting and said yes of course she would.
I bought her the smoothie and the next day when I checked my account, she had not given me anything. I know she had my details saved as I have received funds from her that way several times before.
I asked her one more time via message if she could please pay me back for her drinks and she sent back a message saying ‘I already said I would, don’t be so impatient’.
After that, I started just getting myself a drink and not buying any for anyone else. When she saw me coming into the office with smoothies just for me she kept complaining, saying she would have asked me to get her something if she knew I was planning to go to the smoothie place.
I said that I was low on funds right now and couldn’t cover the cost of everyone’s drinks, and she scoffed and said everyone pays me back anyway so why should being broke affect anything? I reminded her she still owed me for several drinks and she instantly flipped to saying I was petty and selfish for only picking up my own drink, and that she already said she will pay me back so I should leave it alone and stop bringing that up.
I told her I wasn’t going to get her another smoothie again, ever, and that I expected to be paid what I am owed. She walked off very upset.
Several of my coworkers said they thought my reaction was over the top and that she was just speaking from a place of hurt, and that they don’t see why I have stopped getting anyone a drink when only one coworker is causing a problem.
I have told them I don’t want to deal with the drama and complications, but they are still upset with me.
Am I the jerk for only picking up my own smoothies from now on?”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Make A Cheeseburger For The Dishwasher?
“I work in food service. There is a catering department that I’ve been picking up extra shifts in to help out while they are short-staffed. They have a new-ish dishwasher that rubbed me the wrong way from day one.
The food policy is pretty relaxed, anything left over at the end of the event is up for grabs. People take carryout boxes of food home often enough for several days or to feed an entire family. The only ‘rule’ is that we do not raid/prepare food in the walk-ins and cook special meals during service hours.
This one rule gets ignored sometimes, the chef is pretty chill though, and as long as people are getting the work done, not causing us to be short items for events and not being super obvious about it he doesn’t care. Nobody goes hungry, there’s always plenty of food for us to eat there.
On to the conflict. Remember that dishwasher I mentioned rubbing me the wrong way? He’s super pushy and back when he first started he practically bullied one of my coworkers into making him a cheeseburger. Then he tried to bully her into driving him home and when that didn’t work he started in on several others, all women, never asked any of the men.
As he got more comfortable there he started making some pretty gross comments to/about women. Every time I worked that building over the course of several months I’d see him get super pushy about getting a cheeseburger specially made for him, by my female coworker.
I don’t know why but it annoyed me. By this point, he’d been nicknamed ‘The Hamburgler’ by the other cooks because of his behavior.
Then this past Wednesday the cook he normally harasses was off and I filled in for her. Over the course of the shift I heard him say to another female coworker of mine who was coughing ‘Why are you coughing, I ain’t even made you choke yet’ while grabbing his crotch, which really grossed me out.
Then he walked up to me and demanded a cheeseburger. I told him to get off my line and eat leftovers like the rest of us. He went harder at me wanting a cheeseburger and it turned into a pretty nasty argument. He only backed off when the 6’2″ prep cook came trucking over and ran him off.
Since then it’s been fodder for the gossip mill. I’ve gotten quite a few (mostly joking) ‘Gosh, don’t ask pacingpilot for a cheeseburger’ comments. Well, word got back to the exec chef, he dragged the guy into the office, and now it’s going to the union and the dishwasher might lose his job.
To be honest, I don’t care. I think he deserves to be fired for the harassment alone. We’re a union shop though and there’s a little noise being made about how if I’d just not been a jerk and made the cheeseburger none of this would be going down.
I’ve doubled down saying the guy is a jerk and deserves what he gets and the majority of my coworkers especially the ones who work with him daily and know what he’s like have my back but still, there are a few who disagree. AITJ here?”
18. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Get My Antique Clock Back?
“I (f 33) was admitted to the hospital due to some health issues including anemia. I spent 4 days there and upon my return, I discovered that my husband had sold the antique clock that I got from my dad who got it from my grandfather who was an antique collector.
This clock was worth around 3,5 thousand dollars at least. I was so mad and quite shocked because he knows just much it means to me. His defense was that he (unemployed for over a year) needed funds to pay the hospital bills but Mom paid it so at this point, he was lying and I started arguing with him about it.
He then said he needed funds to get by while I was at the hospital but to depend on 2800 in just 4 days? He said he put aside the remaining 50 dollars to pay for my medication.
I blew up at him and told him that he messed up by touching it, he argued that the clock was not being used and that we should’ve sold it a long time ago.
I told him going behind my back and selling it while I was gone was horrible, then I reminded him of where this clock came from and the sentimental value of it. He insisted it was no big deal and I was stressing myself out for nothing.
I told him I’m expecting him to return it but he said he can’t because he spent the money. I said I don’t care how he gets the money to rebuild it but he called me ridiculous and rushed out.
He then called to talk about how much he’s done for me and how many times he stepped up to help me, basically guiltily me into dismissing this issue and letting it go but I told him I want the clock back no matter what he has to do to get it back.
He’s not liking that I keep pushing and said that if I continue to harass him he’ll go to a hotel and stay there indefinitely. I’ve been feeling so stressed out and conflicted since the fight and had Mom come to stay after he went to stay at a hotel cause I pushed him too much.
Mom thinks I have more important stuff to focus on and suggested I let it go. AITJ for refusing?”
17. AITJ For Wanting To Go Through With A Trip With A Female Friend?
“I (24 M) have been with my partner (24 F) for a little over four years. I’ve never been unfaithful to her or anyone else in any prior relationship.
We moved in together a little over a year ago and will get engaged eventually if everything goes well. I was lucky enough to land a good-paying IT job out of college, so I make most of the money for the household. She has her own cake business, but it doesn’t bring money in reliably because it’s more of an informal service than a traditional store.
I’ve known my friend (23 F) since our mid-teens. I’ve never been intimately involved with her, and neither has anyone else because she’s Catholic and waiting until marriage. I’ve been planning to go on a vacation with her this summer where I’ll be paying for her food and hotel stays.
This is because, unlike me, she hasn’t had much luck in the job market after leaving college. If she had to pay for this stuff she could build up credit card debt that she wouldn’t be able to reliably pay off, because her month-to-month budget is so tight.
This isn’t life or death, because her parents could ultimately step in if she’s in big trouble, but she’s trying to be independent so it’s not zero stakes. She didn’t ask me to pay, but I’m doing it because I know about her situation.
My partner says the plan is unfair to her.
Partly because we’re going to be spending so much time alone together and worrying about what could happen between us would worsen my partner’s anxiety and depression. When I was planning the trip, I asked my partner if she’d like to come before I even asked my friend, but she didn’t want to because the accommodations and places we’ll visit are unappealing to her, plus she thinks she’ll be busy during that time.
My partner also says that if we insist on doing it, I should at least not pay, because my money should be going toward the household/our future now, and the fact that I’m paying and putting my friend’s needs over hers makes her worry about what could happen on the trip even worse.
I don’t think I’m putting my friend over us because this is a one-time thing, whereas I’ve been putting almost all of my income into our expenses, and we aren’t in serious need of anything right now. It doesn’t seem like the few hundred bucks I intend to blow covering for my friend would have a serious effect on our finances, but my partner says since she has cake clients over to the apartment the decor and her appearance need to look as good as possible so they will trust her, so those few hundred could actually lead to us losing more money.
I will admit this has been a recurring issue because I grew up poor, and most of my friends still are, so I will occasionally buy them a meal, a drink, or movie tickets. I don’t think these add up to much, and I don’t give my friends loans or do this habitually, but every time it happens she’s very annoyed.
So am I the jerk for still wanting to go through with this trip as planned?
Edit: The trip was not originally going to be a romantic thing with me and my partner, or a two-person thing at all, it’s to see an event. I also brought it up to a few of my (male) friends, but the friend in this story is the only one who ended up being interested enough to commit to it.
Another clarification: when discussing this with my partner, I didn’t say the reason I wouldn’t have an affair is that my friend is chaste. My partner knew it already. In that conversation, I just reminded her I have a principle against having an affair and would never do it in any circumstance.”
16. AITJ For Wanting Ice Cream?
“This happened the day before Easter. There is an ice cream stand near where I live that is very popular. They get extremely busy on weekends, to the point where there are lines down the sidewalk to order ice cream. They had an event the day before Easter Sunday where kids could take a picture with the Easter bunny.
So as you can imagine, it was packed with parents and kids.
My partner and I decided to go because his mom (who is undergoing chemo) wanted ice cream and so did we, so we get in line to order it. It was loud, there are kids yelling and crying, and the wait was long, but we knew what to expect.
As we inch closer to the line, we notice a woman (and her son who looked to be around 5ish years old) getting huffy while her child (wearing noise-canceling headphones) was stimming and doing a high-pitched whine and would occasionally start screeching. I hear her go ‘I don’t understand why people who don’t have kids are here today, holding up the line for everyone.
Stay home. This is a children’s event.’ She then goes around the line with her son, asking if we have kids. We shake our heads no. She goes, ‘Why can’t you people just stay home today?! You’re holding up the line for people with kids and making them wait.
You’re adults, you can go buy ice cream and eat it at home. This is a special event for kids and their parents – not adults who don’t believe in the Easter Bunny. Because of YOU guys, my son with autism has to wait and he will most likely have a meltdown’.
I just give her a deer-in-the-headlights look and go, ‘Do you guys want to go in front of us?’ She gets mad and goes ‘What difference does it make? My son is already upset because he has to wait since grown people want ice cream today too apparently’.
Her son is screaming and jumping up and down at this point. I go, ‘Whether we buy ice cream here today or not is none of your business. The world doesn’t revolve around your special needs child’. She then started screaming unintelligibly at me and my partner at this point about how hard it is being an autism mom and for us to get lost, and we ended up leaving and just going home.
Was I the jerk?”
15. AITJ For Refusing To Leave The Cabin That I Own?
“My wife Katie passed away in December 2018 after her long battle with cancer. Her family and I (32 M) were of course devastated even if we knew it was unfortunately terminal. Around that time we were still taking care of Katie’s niece (6 f) due to family problems. But with Katie sick we had to hire a friend of a friend to help us as a nanny.
His name’s Jason.
He was with us for 8 months until Katie passed away, and even after her niece went back with her mom he still came around every so often to see how I am. We became very good friends and a year later we fell deeply in love.
It was very unexpected for me and I wasn’t ready for anyone to know yet. We kept our relationship a secret for another year and a half. So just adding some information so that way no one gets confused, Jason is female-to-male transgender.
The reason I bring it up is because he got pregnant with our child.
After finding out we decided to come out as a couple to everyone. Then a few months later we got married.
Katie’s family soon heard about it and they weren’t happy. They all assumed we started some sort of affair before she passed no matter how many times I tried to clarify the truth to them.
I didn’t have contact with anyone in her family after that. Our son is 4 months old. Last weekend we decided to have a family vacation just the 3 of us. Up to the cabin Katie and I bought a few years ago right by a lake.
We never really got a chance to drive up there after she got sick so we only ever rented it out. To my surprise, Katie’s family shows up out of ‘nowhere’. I know when we first bought it she let one of her sisters use it for a weekend but I didn’t think she still kept the key after all this time.
Everyone, her parents, siblings, and cousins showed up to have a bbq for Mother’s Day while we were there taking advantage of our son napping to enjoy some ‘alone time’. You can imagine how freaking awkward it was. They wanted to stay, we refused to leave.
Her mom got upset because she just wants to enjoy this time with her family without being reminded what a ‘terrible husband I was’ since Katie told them years ago they can use it whenever and she loved being around lakes.
It ended with me being yelled at by her mom and sister outside because we weren’t going to leave for them to have the place to themselves.
I never even knew that Katie had told them this.
They called me lots of names and made it pretty clear what they thought of me for upsetting them more than I already have in the past. Just for not giving them this one thing to enjoy.
They all left pretty mad and while my husband tried to be reassuring it still left me wondering. It’s my place after all and I never knew they were still using this place on occasion. AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Not Wanting To Sweep My Beef With My Coworker Under The Rug?
“So I (22 f) work as a bartender at a chain restaurant and was initially scheduled to work weekends with the only other bartender (23 m). The first day he started hitting on me, describing his type in women and then describing me as that while getting very close, inviting me to a rave, and also asking if I was ‘curvy’ (gay).
He’d made comments about me being hot while I was not around and though I’m bi I’m happy with my significant other. Cue her coming to the bar, and his demeanor completely changed, he was rude to my SO and said we were kissing at work, we weren’t and never would because it’s dangerous.
I’ve dealt with a lot of homophobia before and admittedly have little tolerance for it. He’d had a reputation for being sexist/homophobic so I just didn’t care to joke around with him. He didn’t like that and asked me if I ‘just didn’t like men’.
I told him that was inappropriate and to drop it, spoiler: he didn’t, and another coworker had to step in. Still, I was always professional and cordial, never rude, helped when asked, and did my job despite the physical pain I felt being nice to him.
He was not, he was rude, refused to help, cursed at me, etc. I’d say things he said made me uncomfortable, ask him to stop, and he wouldn’t.
One day out of the blue my friend texted me saying she got me an interview at a different place looking for a bartender, how?
I don’t know, but she did, so I went in the next day and was hired on the spot. Given how things were going I figured it couldn’t hurt to have a backup. Nothing happened when talking to managers and his apologies were always backhanded so I decided to change my availability, giving weekends to the other job.
That got their attention.
Now the GM (General Manager) wanted us all to talk but also gets upset that I got a different job (by the way, I work part-time and make MAYBE $10/hr with tips). He has a ‘business to run and we have to do what works for the business’ and not telling them wasn’t ok.
I had in fact told my manager about both of my other jobs but also said this is what I could give them and if this doesn’t align with the business, I’m not the person to fill this role. He was mad and did not like that.
Honestly, it was kinda funny.
We then had a meeting with me, GM, Manager, and the dude. GM let him speak and he said it was basically all me, but my manager stepped in and said it definitely wasn’t. This was exclusively his fault after I called him out.
The GM said that if it happens again either of us will be fired. I said that given he just blamed me I still don’t want to. GM got angry saying there’s no reason not to because he’d be fired. For me, the damage is done.
He just doesn’t respect or see me as a person and that is the root of why he treats me the way he does. It feels like my bosses think I’m being dramatic and just want me to go back to work and pretend like nothing happened. It made me start to question if I did the right thing or if I was out of line.
So, AITJ for refusing to keep working with my coworker?
My SO has been telling me to quit for a while but I wanted an unbias opinion. Honestly, you go through this stuff so much and everyone around you just shrugs it off that eventually you become numb to it.”
13. AITJ For Lying About Using Deodorant?
“I’m Chinese and no one in my family uses deodorant. We shower every day and use soap but we don’t use deodorant and I don’t really sweat either except when doing intense exercise.
I didn’t find it weird until in high school when people put on deodorant in locker rooms and I was confused and asked them what it was. I’d never had anyone complain about my body odor but I accidentally told someone I didn’t use deodorant because I didn’t think it was a big deal and they told me it was gross and that I stink and I got bullied for it.
Kept my mouth shut after that and wore deodorant so I wouldn’t seem weird.
Around my early 20s, I stopped wearing deodorant again and no one noticed including my very opinionated roommates. I was really confused because neither I nor anyone in my family smelled of anything and I did some research and realized a lot of East Asians lack a certain gene that produces body odor.
I was shocked that that was a thing and began asking significant others at the time to smell my armpit (weird I know) and they confirmed I have no smell.
I started going out with my current SO for a year and asked him casually over dinner if I smelled. He said no and I told him about me not using deodorant and he freaked out saying it was disgusting and that it’s rude not to wear deodorant.
I was surprised because he literally said I didn’t smell and told him about the research showing gene differences for Asians and he shrugged it off saying everyone is the same and the no smelling lack of a gene is fake and refused to look when I sent him studies showing it was real. He went out a few days later and bought me deodorant and forced me to wear it making sure to watch me do it.
I decided to take the deodorant out of the tube as an experiment and ‘applied’ an empty tub while he was watching to see if he really noticed a difference if I smelled. After a week I asked him how I smelled and he said great.
I revealed to him I had been applying an empty deodorant stick and he got really angry and accused me of lying and tricking him. To me, if he can’t tell the difference between deodorant and no deodorant (we literally slept together) then it shouldn’t matter to him but he called me disgusting and we got into a big fight over it.”
12. AITJ For Cutting My Best Friend Off After His Comment About My Fiancée's Pregnancy?
“I have been engaged to my fiancée (F) for the past year and a half and we are currently expecting our first child in the summer. My ‘friend’ T has known me for 5 years and got on well with my fiancée and me whilst we’ve been going out.
His family has a history of mental health and he suffers from depression like his mother.
When we first found out F was pregnant we were both really happy her mum was overjoyed and my parents weren’t too happy as they believed in marriage first but they’ve dropped that now so we all get along well.
When we were discussing people we wanted to be godparents we both agreed T was one of them.
When we told him about the pregnancy he was shocked and rather confused but we thought he just needed time to process it. Instead, he proceeded to call me at 3 am two weeks later using my other friend’s phone.
He proceeded to yell awful things about me and my fiancée whilst fighting my friend for taking back his phone. I ended the call after 20 minutes and text him saying how rude and disrespectful he was to me and that he had misused my trust as I had assumed that a call at 3 am meant he was in trouble or wanted to talk to someone whilst he was waiting to be picked up.
The next day I received another call from him apologizing and blaming his outburst on the liquor and I forgave him.
The very next day he went out drinking again and ended up having a text argument with my fiancée calling her a flirt and saying he would never want to have a child with her because of what she is.
He then proceeded to tell her to terminate the pregnancy to save me from her.
I cut him out of my life and refused to see or talk to him for months until recently as he reached out on his birthday to try and reconcile.
I told him I wanted nothing to do with him and that if he thought he could say what he said and be in the right he was dead wrong. He started to say how we had outed his mental health problems to his mother and I said I didn’t care about it as it was obvious to all of the people who knew him that he struggles with it.
I blocked all forms of communication and have told friends I don’t want them to pick sides as is not their fight.
I’ve since lost friends who have said I didn’t respect his privacy whilst saying he is completely innocent. I’m pretty sure I’m in the right here but just in case, AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Not Inviting My Daughter's Mom To My Wedding?
“So I (35 M) am getting married this fall to my partner of two years Claire (29 F). I have a 15-year-old daughter with my ex-wife Peyton (36 F). I and Peyton are extremely close friends. We started going out in high school, got married in college, and had our daughter right after.
She is a fantastic person and a wonderful mother. Our marriage fell apart due to my immaturity if anything. I wasn’t the most attentive and took a lot of her work for granted. I wasn’t the best husband but I was always a good dad.
So we have always been incredibly amicable with each other. 6 years ago she remarried and I was ecstatic for her. I met her husband a few times and was invited to the wedding. I went with my daughter and we had a wonderful time. So about three years ago Peyton’s husband left abruptly and Peyton wasn’t in a good headspace.
So I had her move in with me. Our daughter loved it and I didn’t mind the extra hands. She stayed for over a year and was a joy to live with, as we really could relate to each other. I did eventually ask her to leave 2 years ago.
Because I started going out with Claire and didn’t want her to think I was living with my ex permanently.
So my daughter and Claire do not get along. I’ve tried everything (therapy, one on one time) but it just ain’t happening.
My daughter has never told me to break up with her or anything. She just has that teenage girl attitude about the whole thing. So Claire wanted to meet Peyton. I set up a dinner with us all. Claire and Peyton did not speak all that much.
When I asked Claire later she said that Peyton had a bad vibe about her and she would stick to just co-parenting (me and Peyton were friends at that point). I respected Claire’s wishes, so I and Peyton have kept conversations strictly about our daughter.
So our wedding is coming up. My daughter is a bridesmaid. I asked Claire about inviting Peyton. And she is against this. It’s her first wedding and she is particular about some things. I totally understood. And told my daughter that we both decided to not invite her mom.
My daughter is now furious at us. Saying that it isn’t fair because Mom invited me to hers. I said that was a different situation and she needed to accept that. She called Claire some names and said she wouldn’t be going any more.
I texted her this ‘Well that sucks. But if that is your decision then so be it.’ Now I got Peyton’s parents (we are still very close) calling me a jerk. Saying I’m excluding my daughter and my oldest friend. I said that I have to look to the future not the past. And my daughter is a big girl.
She can make her own choices. My daughter is still mad at me. But I told her to take her time and reach out when she wants. And a spot will always be open. AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be Around My Disgusting Dad?
“I (17 f) don’t really like being around my dad. His behavior is often cringy, and he says things only little kids would normally say.
He also doesn’t wear a shirt at home, and it’s disgusting to see his armpit hair, large breasts, and big belly. Whenever he talks to me, it always turns into a 30-minute lecture, and I get anxious and uncomfortable around him. He also has weird habits such as sniffing everything with his nose right up to it or touching my stuff such as my water bottle for no reason.
He sweats a lot and has bad breath, and his face looks really weird and disgusting.
He also interrogates me about everything. For example, he asks me what I plan to do each day, and if he doesn’t like my plans then he’ll shame me and get mad at me.
He also asks me about my friends, giggles, and has a weird smile on his face when doing so. I give minimal answers, and he asks me to give more information, such as their love lives or where they’re going during the summer. Those questions honestly make me uncomfortable and make me feel unsafe.
For the last few weeks, whenever my dad comes down the stairs (he makes a very distinctive sound when he opens his bedroom door and has a loud stomping footstep), I run into the bathroom and hide if I’m downstairs. I wait until I hear him enter the garage or go back upstairs.
I actually like being away from my dad and not having to talk to him. But this morning I was eating breakfast, and he caught me going into the bathroom. He knows I’ve been hiding from him, and since he caught me red-handed, he confronted me and asked me what I have to hide from him.
I just said that because of his hygiene habits and interrogations, I don’t feel comfortable around him and that I need some space from him. He said that he is going to require me to have a one-hour conversation with him every night before bed. I told him that it’s weird when he asks about my female friends and pointed out that he giggles about them and stalks their social media.
Then he got really mad and told me that it was his house and that my friends and also his friends.”
9. AITJ For Giving My Husband A Curfew?
“My husband (24 M) and I (24 F) had a fight over text. He was gone all month and is on his way home today. He asked me if he could have some friends over tomorrow night to drink and play games.
I said sure but only until 10 pm. He asked for 1 am and I said absolutely not. He then said what if he goes to his friend’s house and spends the night. I said sure! He said he didn’t really want to do that though since he’s been gone all month and wanted to include me.
I told him that 11 pm was the limit and that if he wanted to hang out with his coworkers I would never stop him, I think it’s good to hang out with friends. He said his friends wouldn’t want to stay only until 11 pm and can I ‘pls pls pls’ let them stay until 1 am/ spend the night?
I already tried to compromise with him and at this point was firm in my 11 pm answer. I don’t think it’s appropriate to have people over past midnight. This isn’t a frat house and he has plenty of single friends without wives to throw parties at their house.
If they really wanted to spend time with him they would just come over a bit earlier and leave at 11 pm. He then said ‘Forget I even asked’ and stopped replying.
I am 5 months pregnant, always tired, and sleep very early. Regardless I’d never have his friends over past midnight.
I have blown up on them before for not being quiet at around 1 am on Thanksgiving when I was trying to sleep because I had work the next day. I don’t want to invite a repeat of that situation because we all know wasted men can’t be quiet.
I’m more frustrated at the fact he can’t seem to accept a compromise and is not respecting my boundary and just keeps insisting on 1 am. This is a simplified version of our argument.”
8. AITJ For Making My Daughter Wear Cheap Clothes?
“I (35 m) have a daughter Kiki (7 f) with my ex Yvonne (34 f) and have 50/50 shared custody.
Every time Yvonne sends Kiki back home to me she is in dingy old clothes. They are either too small & cut so she can fit them, stained, have holes, are too big, are not weather-appropriate (long sleeves in the summer), etc, and her shoes are always filthy.
I know Yvonne makes less money than me, which is why we have an agreed-upon amount I send her monthly for Kiki’s expenses. My wife Sara (30 f) also came up with the idea that I just cover Kiki’s childcare/education expenses since it won’t break the bank for us and that way Yvonne can just use all the funds I send her for Kiki.
We didn’t want to send Kiki home in the clothes her mom sent her in so we started sending her home in clothes we purchased. She would always send her home with the outfit ruined. Sara’s mom bought Kiki some cute new shoes and Kiki begged to wear them to her mom’s.
She was sent home in another raggedy outfit, with the shoes completely ruined and muddy. Yvonne said they went to the park in them. Sara was mad so she went & bought a bunch of clothes from stores like Rainbow, H&M, Walmart, etc & we sent those over there so if they’re ruined it will not matter and she can keep all her nice clothes here.
Yvonne called us petty and said keeping tabs on clothes and shopping at ‘cheap stores to send to mommy’s house’ is offensive to Kiki and creates a toxic environment. I just don’t want my daughter walking around looking like a mess when she doesn’t have to.
It’s embarrassing and I know it doesn’t make Kiki feel good. I feel like keeping all her quality stuff and favorite outfits here preserves them so she has it. She doesn’t know the difference between the clothes’ quality and just sees the designs.
But am I really being selfish and petty? AITJ?”
7. WIBTJ If I Don't Want To Give My 13k To My Siblings?
“This starts in 2020. My (F 19) government was issuing about $1500 a week/fortnight (Don’t know exactly) to people who couldn’t work.
I was one and ended up receiving 13k in payments. It was all put away into a bank account only my parents had access to.
My life savings account. They had also put small sums of money for birthdays from my GPs etc. But nowhere near 13k.
My parents hit some hard financial times and took most of that 13k and used it to buy a car, saying they would pay me back.
They told me I would have access to that bank account for my 21st.
Now, I’ve been looking at buying a car. I assumed I had a large amount of funds saved in my life savings and I have also been putting in about $650 a week for the past four months, I decided I would buy a new mid-range car.
I decided on a car last week, it is my absolute dream car and I was meant to put the deposit down today. My parents had been involved and supportive throughout the whole months-long process.
My mom sat me down today and pretty much gave me options: they can pay me back the 13k but it will mean that my siblings (F 19, twins, and M 20) will not be able to have anywhere near that amount and it wasn’t fair on them.
She said she will not be giving me money for my 21st birthday if I take the 13k and instead will be taking my birthday money and using it to ‘top up’ my siblings’ accounts. She explained that she does not have the money to pay back my 13k and also give my siblings and myself birthday money.
My siblings will still be getting access to their own government payouts it just isn’t as much as mine.
My mother told me I can either take the 13k and I do not get a 21st birthday gift and it will be used for my siblings, or not take the 13k and probably have it split between us.
I don’t understand why I should be punished for getting more compensation. While I was still out of work, my siblings were back working and putting that money into their main accounts. Yes, it wasn’t near as much as the payments but that money is still mine as it was compensation for no work.
Both of my siblings already have cars and my brother has moved out. I’ve waited and saved for so long for the perfect car I don’t understand why I will have to sit there on my twin and I’s birthday and pretend to be happy when I receive nothing and my sister gets basically a birthday gift of half my money.
My mom has brought up the fact that she should have been charging me rent and that I am ungrateful and mentioned the birthday gifts she has given me.
I said I wanted to have the 13k and she told me that I was being spiteful, would never be happy and to be honest with her.
I said I don’t think it was fair to top up my siblings’ account with my money to make it fair for them. She called me ungrateful and it was my fault they wouldn’t have any money.
WIBTJ if I take the 13k or do I split it with my siblings and forfeit my dream car?”
6. AITJ For Making Fun Of My Dad's Partner?
“My (16 f) parents aren’t together. My brother Luke (14) and I go back and forth between houses.
My dad is a decent dad for the most part but he dates all these women and insists she’s the one every time. Honestly when we were kids Luke and I liked the first couple, then it got old.
He always insists ‘She’s the one it’s different this time’ but they’re usually gone in a year and a half max.
Dad’s been with ‘Amanda’ for 6-8 months I think. She has a daughter ‘Peggy’ who’s 10.
Amanda is French, or lived in France not sure which but she doesn’t really have an accent.
She speaks French to Peggy frequently. She wants her to know the language. Makes sense.
Honestly, when I was a freshman I wanted to take French instead of Spanish but my dad insisted Luke and I both take Spanish because we’d use it more. So I had Spanish freshman and sophomore years.
Amanda and Peggy do this thing, it irritates me so much. Whenever we’re all having a conversation at dinner or whatever Amanda will randomly start speaking French to Peggy. It’s like she’s cutting all of us out of the conversation. We basically all have to wait for them to finish because my dad ignores us til they’re done.
One time we were trying to pick a movie to watch. We were all talking about our choices, then Amanda and Peggy had a conversation in French and Amanda told my dad what they wanted to watch. So we watched that.
The point is it’s not just them talking amongst themselves or Amanda telling Peggy to do her homework or something.
Luke and I talked to my dad and he said ‘They’re not that bad’. We said they were and it’s annoying. I think Amanda does it because we don’t speak French. He said, ‘Well if you wanna know what they’re saying learn French’. I said ‘No I already have my foreign language requirement to graduate’.
He said, ‘It never hurts to learn another and they’re going to be around for a while’.
My dad only speaks English for the record. So…
Anyway, Luke knows some Spanish. Yesterday at dinner Amanda and Peggy were doing their crap. When they got done I looked at Luke and started saying random stuff.
‘Perro Gato, y tu?’ Complete gibberish but he’s only a few weeks in Spanish 1, I wanted him to get the hint.
He did and he said ‘Si mas verde’. And kinda laughed.
My dad asked what we were doing. I said, ‘Oh I’m just speaking Spanish to my brother, so he’ll remember it’.
When my dad was driving us home he lectured us (me) and said I was making fun of Amanda and it was rude. That she’s genuinely helping Peggy remember French and we mocked her.
I said, ‘I don’t care that she speaks French but she doesn’t have to do it mid-conversation with us.
If she doesn’t want it done to her she shouldn’t do it’.
He said I was being immature and he expects me to apologize to them.
She does this constantly and Dad just thinks we’re supposed to sit and wait for them.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Taking My Daughter's Bike Back?
“Yesterday I noticed my daughter (12) come home without her bike looking a little upset;. I asked where her bike went and she said she gave them to her friend who lives across from us.
Now Imma be honest I was a little upset to hear that she gave away her bike as I’m a single mother of 8.
Side note – (don’t judge me only 4 of the children are biologically mine the rest I adopted due to my friend passing away and my sister’s mental health problems). I worked extremely hard to get my daughter that bike, it was literally over 1000 dollars but my daughter really wanted and loves it so it was also a surprise to me.
But I let it go because, at the end of the day, I brought my daughter the bike it’s not up to me to control what my daughter decides to do with it.
Later that day I hear my daughter crying in her room so I knock on her door to make sure she was okay.
She broke down and admitted that her friend’s mom pressured her into giving away her bike even though she didn’t want to. Now my daughter has already given her friend her old bike after she upgraded so I honestly don’t understand how selfish this woman is.
The next day I went over to the neighbor’s house to speak to the mom without my daughter and demanded she returns the bike, telling her she better return the bike or I will report it stolen and that she had no right to steal my daughter’s bike from her.
She denied stealing it but in the end, gave my daughter’s bike back.
She told me that I’m a psycho jerk who clearly has issues and that she doesn’t want her daughter involved with people like me so she’ll no longer be allowing her daughter around mine.
When I told my daughter that she became really upset and blamed it on me, my daughter was really close to the neighbor’s daughter and is now mourning losing a friend.
I now feel like how I approached the whole situation was wrong and that I could be more sensitive about the whole issue in order to salvage their friendship.”
4. AITJ For Not Letting My Parents See My Kids After They Bailed On Me?
“My ex-husband and I were together for 12 years (dated for 5, married for 7) and had 3 children before we got divorced after he came out to me as gay.
I was greatly in the wrong for the way I first reacted. I said hurtful, uneducated things and accused him of using me. My parents, who knew he was gay before I did, told me to stop centering myself around his coming out. I wouldn’t have been so enraged if children weren’t involved and if he had been more upfront about his s*******y to me.
After we got divorced, my ex and his husband started a relationship and eventually got married. My parents are very friendly with my ex and his husband. I can understand and sympathize since my ex’s own family is incredibly homophobic and keep pressuring him to marry a woman.
My ex’s husband is a lovely man we’ve known since high school. Although I’m jealous of him, I can’t bring myself to hate him when he’s done nothing wrong.
A few months ago, my ex and his husband announced they were expecting a child. My parents got really excited…
a little too excited, in my opinion. My mother proposed the idea of going shopping for baby clothing and essentials while my father posted about the news and even told my ex about all the things he’d love to do with his child when they’re older.
I felt off about the way they were treating my ex, but when I tried communicating with them about my feelings, they shut me down. I was worried about how my ex would handle 4 kids, 3 of them with which he shares custody. I, again, expressed how I felt, to my ex this time, and my parents inserted themselves into the conversation.
They said I need to stop trying to police my ex’s life and let him live freely since he, I quote them, ‘wasted 12 years (with me)’. I was ready to flip a table. They were only thinking about him, but never me! I didn’t say anything to not cause any issues.
Last week, their child was born and they hosted a celebration the day after. I congratulated them and gave presents, but didn’t attend as it was my day with our 3 children and I didn’t want the children to disturb the baby. My parents had promised to come over and help take care of the children, but they bailed on me last minute to go to my ex’s baby-welcoming celebration.
I held back my anger and hung up on them, then called my sister for help. After a few hours, my parents showed up at my doorstep. I told them to leave because they made it clear to me that I’m not important to them, therefore they’re not worthy of seeing my children.
They called me childish and repulsive, but I kept ignoring them and refused to unlock the door.
After a few hours, I received a text from my ex asking me if I was okay and spammed messages from my parents about my ‘outrageous behavior’. I can understand why they’re protective of my ex but I think they’re crossing the line.
I’m biased and bitter though so… AITJ?
INFO: My parents found out about my ex’s s*******y only a few hours before I did. I’m glad they didn’t out him to me but it hurts knowing he trusts them more than he trusts me. My ex, his husband, and I were all friends in high school.
He and his husband have always been intimate, which made my sister suspect they were having an affair, or at least an emotional one, but she’s biased too. My ex didn’t know he was gay for the majority of our relationship, so I highly doubt he was having an affair.”
3. AITJ For Criticizing My Best Friend's Relationship?
“I (27 f) am in a very stable relationship with my fiancée (29 f) for around 4 years and we are planning to get engaged eventually and then marry.
My best friend Chrissy (also 27 f) has been with her own fiancé since they were 20. They only got engaged this year and it was kinda weird how it took him so long to propose since he seemed to be financially stable and all. Throughout the years I asked Chrissy why her fiancé hadn’t proposed yet and she kept insisting it was not the right time but she’d never say the reason why, just that it wasn’t the right time.
Eventually, he proposed at the beginning of 2022 and they’re planning their wedding for next year.
They decided to plan their engagement party during summer time because due to busy schedules, they couldn’t do it earlier. So their engagement party was this past Saturday. And her fiancé made a speech dedicated to her and mentioned pretty much the reasons they didn’t get engaged sooner and I couldn’t help but pity my friend.
So the reasons were that he didn’t have a stable job for the first few years of their relationship and only jumped from position to position from Walmart to Target etc. He hadn’t finished his degree yet so he had no higher education, he got his degree in 2019, and only then was he able to get a proper job.
He bragged and also ‘thanked’ Chrissy for never giving up on him and growing with him and how they helped each other form their amazing personalities and achievements and how no matter what the future holds he’ll never forget etc.
My fiancée and I felt some type of way about it.
Some friends of mine and Chrissy agreed how Chrissy basically stayed with a broke man and waited for 7 years and we don’t think that’s something praise worthy but pity worthy.
As friends, we decided to explain to her our perspective of how we think it was ridiculous that she had to almost reach 30 to move on with her life with that man when someone else could provide what she needed much sooner.
Chrissy always said how she wanted marriage and kids and it’s sad she had to wait this long for this man to get his act together and she didn’t know her worth.
She said she loves him and he’s an amazing partner and wouldn’t break up with him over his misfortunes and what matters is that they love each other.
I told her it’s dumb how she’s marrying for love and not for stability and how she’s basically wasted herself for ‘love’. And how the first issue should be raised when he was working at Walmart and Target back to back.
She called us all materialistic and classist and she said she doesn’t care if she struggles financially as long as she struggles with the right person who will value her emotions and listen to her.
She said we are miserable jerks who will find no happiness in life and are very shallow. Could we be the jerks for criticizing her this way?”
2. AITJ For Limiting My Kids' Meals And Snacks?
“My son (16 m) loves to eat. He is a healthy weight and an active kid, he just really likes food.
At first, it was typical ‘eat you out of a house and home’ teen boy eating but it started to escalate when school let out. He will have 3 or 4 servings every meal and is continually snacking. He will go thru a week’s worth of snacks in one day.
I guess I should explain that I cook 3 meals a day. Breakfast is usually a main, sausage or bacon, toast or biscuits, and cereal is always an option. Lunch is a lighter meal with a main, a veggie side or a salad, and occasionally a pasta side.
Dinner is always a main, 3 sides, and a dessert. For lunch and dinner, if anyone doesn’t want what is prepared there are sandwiches, ramen, or frozen meals, whoever wants any of them just has to make them themselves.
On to the problem. I started limiting meals and snacks.
You can only have 2 servings of what I make and with snacks, I have all my kids fill a basket with 5 things of their choice and that’s all they can have for the day. The rest of my kids (11, 13, 15) have no problem with this. My son on the other hand threw a fit.
He screamed about it and when I wouldn’t just let him keep eating, he took off to his grandparents’ house and told them I am starving him. He is refusing to come home until I get rid of the rules.
My parents are beyond mad.
They called me yelling that I’m abusing my son and I need to let him eat. When I explained why I put the rules in place and that my son isn’t being starved, they yelled that they never did that with me or my siblings and said they wouldn’t let my son come home until I got my act together.
I’m starting to doubt myself here.
This is not a weight or health issue. We have been to the doctor over it, the doctor said nothing is medically wrong.”
1. AITJ For Taking One Of My Significant Other's Fried Oreos?
“My significant other Mae (22 F) and I (22 M) have been together for two years now. I just wanna start off by saying my SO is very small and tends to not eat very big portions.
I have rarely ever seen her complete a full meal by herself, maybe on one or two occasions out of the two years and thousands of meals we have had together. She isn’t perse selfish with her food but she doesn’t like to share with me all of the time.
Which I just kind of find rather annoying considering she does not finish all of her food.
For example, if we are out to eat usually I will reach my hand over and try to sample a bite while her food is hot and fresh because I want a taste.
She will sometimes smack my hand away and tell me to wait. Then an argument always ensues because she thinks I should ‘give her the courtesy of at least trying to finish her meal before I touch it’ which is annoying to me because I know she won’t finish it and she knows I like my food scalding hot.
I usually won’t even eat it if it’s room temperature.
The reason I’m asking if I’m the jerk here is that this weekend we went to a fair in our town and she got a basket of three fried Oreos. When she brought it over I took one and she got really upset saying ‘You know I wait for these all year round and I wanted to eat all of them!’ which was probably a lie but she seemed kind of upset for the rest of the night about it.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the jerk but I wanted to ask for strangers’ opinions so I can settle this debate with her once and for all. AITJ?
Edit: Growing up I was VERY poor and was always taught to scarf my food down while it was good aka while it was hot.
I guess that translated into me being an adult and is now wreaking havoc on the person I love most. I thought by eating her food and showing her it was enjoyable would help her recovery, and through comments from parents and friends who watched their loved ones live with anorexia, I was severely wrong.
I don’t even know how I am going to apologize to her but I am going to start by not taking her food and working on my issues. I’m going to take her to the fair and buy her all the fried Oreos she wants.”
