People Hope We'll React Well To Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
35. AITJ For Calling The Cops On My Neighbor For Breaking Into My House?
“I (m45) was alone and taking a nap for a couple of hours upstairs and came down at about 4 pm.
I walk down and see a man walking out of my front door! I recognized him as my neighbor – we live in a townhouse complex and he lives right across from us. I confronted him, and he apologized profusely and said he was wasted (yeah at 4 pm) and made a mistake.
I could smell the booze on his breath. Seemed believable but I decided to make a police report anyway. They questioned him but his story was believable so that was the end.
I go back inside, frazzled but thought it was over.
I check my phone and see auto messages about recent charges on my credit card – from a convenience store near my house, for several beers, while I was sleeping.
I call the police again, and they were able to get a copy of the store’s security footage a couple of days later.
Surprise surprise, it’s him. The police arrested him this morning and he confessed to taking my wallet from my house, using my credit card, then returning it back to my house! He didn’t even take the cash in the wallet!
The whole thing is so bizarre I would laugh about it but then I think what if my wife and kids were home? What could have happened? Then I just get angry all over again.
And now I just got a letter from his wife, saying how he is a heavy drinker and ‘getting help’ and begging me not to press charges.
Part of me feels for her and wonders AITJ, but the other part thinks I should not only press charges but also sue them into oblivion, forcing them to move at the very least.
So AITJ if I press charges?
Edit:
The door was unlocked. We’re in a gated community so I just dropped my guard.
The neighbors have money so I have no idea why he did what he did. Maybe just to see if he could get away with it?
The guy is being held in jail pending a court appearance this Friday. He likely will be released on bail. So no opportunity for him to apologize yet if he does.
I’m not angry about the money. I’m angry about the invasion of privacy and the fact that I won’t have peace of mind in my own home from now on.
I’m angry because of what could have happened if my wife and kids were home. And angry for how much worse it could have been in general.”
34. AITJ For Telling My Mom's Partner I'll Never Call Him Dad?
“I (14f) lived with my grandma for a year because I can’t stand my mom’s partner because she chose him over me. I told her I’d move out if he moved in because he makes remarks about my body and appearance and it makes me very uncomfortable.
I’ll call her partner J.
I moved back in with my mom because I was having some issues with my grandma. The year I lived with her I set rules like I’ll have a lock on my door, I’ll never be in the house alone with J, and I wouldn’t call him my dad.
There wasn’t an issue up until after a month after I moved in when J’s kids were there (he sees them two times a month, they’re from his previous marriage). His daughter came into my room and said that Dad wanted me and I said ok, tell J I’ll be there in a minute as I was just finishing getting ready to go to my friend’s house.
I went to the living room where my mom and J were and he asked if I was ready to go to lunch. I said no I’m gonna to Jenna’s house, and I already had plans and wasn’t aware I was supposed to go to lunch with them.
He proceeded to yell about how I never spend time with them and I’m always out never letting him know where I am. I told him ‘I told my mom’ and he said ‘I’m your dad you should let me know too’.
I started laughing and said, ‘You are not my dad and I would rather die than call you my dad’. He went ballistic he told me I’m not going anywhere with my disrespectful attitude and that sooner or later he’s gonna be my dad whether I like it or not.
I told him even if you married my mom you will always just be my dad’s replacement in my eyes then walked back up to my room.
He was banging on my door, telling me to let him in (I locked the door).
I just left out my window and went to my friend’s house. Around an hour later my mom called me, saying all of that in front of his kids was uncalled for and if I didn’t like J I could leave again.
So I did. I moved in with my other grandma and told my mom I was telling the truth and I didn’t care what he thought about it.
My dad was proud of me for sticking up for myself but my mom is still mad at me so I wanna know if I was in the wrong.”
33. AITJ For Throwing Out The Food My Coworker Gave Me?
“I (34m) have been married to my wife Jessica (33f) for 10 years.
I’ve been working the same job since before I got married.
The issue lies with a new coworker who just started working with me. I’ll call her Jane.
Jane is about 26 and has been flirting with me for a while.
I’m a big guy and have bad social skills so I didn’t see it as flirting cause I didn’t know she was. I thought she was being friendly but then I talked about it with my wife when I got home and she confirmed it to be flirting so I let her know next time it happens I will say something.
At lunch the next day I’m sitting down to eat and Jane comes up to me and says hey with a smile. I say hi and continue to eat my sandwich. She gets red in the face and hands me a Tupperware with food in it and said here I made this for you.
Just to clarify as well everyone at my office knows I’m married my wife’s picture is on my desk and she’s been to office parties and brings me my lunch if I forget it so she knows I’m married.
I tell her I don’t want her food, and that my wife made me something. She says snarkily ‘Why did she make you a sandwich she’s home all day she can make you some actual food’. My wife has bad back issues from childbirth so this upset me.
Not only that I love her sandwiches, she packs me them with snacks a soda, and a note and it makes my day a little better.
At that point, I was really mad so I told her no I don’t want her food my wife worked hard to make it for me and she pushed her food at me.
So I did the next logical thing and took it and threw it out right in front of her.
She freaks out and says I’m crazy and ungrateful for doing it and storms out of the lunch room.
My coworkers said I went too far but I tried to be nice and she didn’t want to accept no.
AITJ?
Edit: I threw the food she made me, not her lunch.”
32. AITJ For Not Trusting My Mother-In-Law To Look After My Son Anymore?
“So my baby is 2 weeks old. Last weekend my husband’s parents came over Sunday afternoon and offered to watch him while I took a nap (hubby was at work).
Of course, I was so grateful and accepted because I was exhausted.
So I showed them where all of his stuff was, went ahead and mixed up his bottle, told them the times he eats, etc.
Note: he is only in the 10th percentile for weight, but the 70th for height, so his pediatrician said we HAVE to feed him every 3 hours, no matter what, so he gains.
Even if we have to wake him.
Well, I wake up 2 hours later and come out to the living room and they’re still just loving on him and all that. At first, I think ‘Oh how sweet! What great grandparents!’ But I look and he’s only had 1/2 an ounce of formula out of the 2.5 he’s supposed to have.
He was just ‘sleeping so good’. They didn’t bother to feed him. Then I take him and his diaper is dirty! But ‘he didn’t cry yet’ so they didn’t bother to change it. So they literally just sat there and held him that entire time without doing anything he needed them to.
So I blow it off and think maybe they’re just out of practice. Well, we go over to their house a few days later because there was a tornado coming, and it was time to feed him so my husband’s dad asks if he can do it.
I say ‘Sure’ and hand him the bottle. He tries for all of 30 seconds and goes ‘He doesn’t want it’ and tries to hand it back. So I tell him ‘No. He has to eat.’ So I end up taking him and we’re getting through the bottle but it’s taking forever because he’s falling back asleep and my husband’s mom starts laughing about how I’m ‘fighting a losing battle’ and how she ‘wouldn’t be mean and wake him up like that’.
So then when we finish, she’s like ‘Let me hold him.’ And I tell her I need to change him first and she’s like ‘Why? How do you know he is wet? He’s not crying.’ But I always check after he eats and sure enough, he was.
So I change him and hand him to her and she irritated me by saying things to him (I know he was like a week old at this point but still) like ‘Oh your mommy is just so mean huh?
Waking you up to change you and making you cry’.
(Also she made a comment about the stretch marks on my tummy when my shirt came up and asked if my husband had seen them yet. Like, what???)
So Friday we take him to the doctor and he has only gained 1 oz so she says to keep on our feeding schedule and try to up the amount as we can.
So my husband’s mom calls and asks what the dr said and I tell her and she’s like ‘I still say don’t wake a sleeping baby. I know I wouldn’t.’
But yeah so all that happens then I get a call today and they want to keep him to give my husband and me a date night.
I tell her I appreciate the offer but we’d decline. She asked why and I told her because he has to eat every 3 hours and I can’t trust that they’ll actually feed him. Or change his diaper.
We don’t wait for him to scream to take care of him. She gets upset and says we can trust them and I bring up the last two chances we gave them and tell her there’s no way I’m leaving my baby alone to starve and sit in filth.
Apparently, I hurt her feelings and questioned her parenting and now I’m the jerk.
So am I the jerk?
ETA: I promise I’m not a bad mom. I do feed him. My husband and I are following all the doctor’s recommendations.
He is just small. We feed him every 3 hours as much as we can get into him. He’s our first baby so I’m already stressed I’m not doing enough. He has milk sensitivity and changing him to non-dairy seems to help.”
31. AITJ For Not Letting My Late Friend's Family Take His Personal Stuff?
“My (26M) best friend since high school (22M) passed away three years ago.
He did not have a good relationship with his family, and we lived together since we were 17 (in my place, with my aunt at the beginning and then just the 2 of us), went to college together, right until he suddenly passed in 2019.
He was not straight, so that was the main reason he felt uncomfortable living with his family since they come from a very conservative background. His parents didn’t kick him out, but when he left they didn’t look for him (even though they knew where we lived).
They didn’t send him allowances or even kept in touch, they basically didn’t bother to maintain a relationship with him. He had an older sister and brother. None of them ever reached out to him or kept in touch either.
When he passed away, his family took care of everything though. They paid for everything and gave him a proper burial service. I know for a fact his sister intervened for me so I was able to attend the funeral and memorial.
Long story short: A few months ago his family requested me to give them all of his belongings.
After almost four years I was SO confused. His father reached out to me via email and explained that both he and his wife were retiring, moving out of the city, and that they didn’t want to leave without their son’s belongings.
I didn’t reply. A week passed by, and the mom sent me another email, now explaining that this was extremely important to her, that she was diagnosed with a chronic illness, and that she would appreciate having their son’s stuff back since they were moving permanently next month.
Emphasis on the ‘permanently’. I did reply to that one, but I lied and I said I wasn’t sure exactly what was left or where, but that I’d check and get back to them.
The truth was that I kept all his personal belongings, including photos, clothes, some paintings, personal notebooks, books, devices, and everything.
Another week goes by and his brother sent me a DM, same story. So I gave him the same answer ‘I’ll check’. The next day his mom and father came to my house, unannounced, demanding my friend’s stuff. Things got heated and I admitted that I had his belongings but that they weren’t mine to give away.
The mom cried and yelled, the father called me a thief, I just closed the door, I cried a lot too, and I just waited for them to leave.
Okay so, I’m genuinely asking if I am the jerk because most of my friends told me I did the right thing, but I’ve received a lot of negative words too, telling me it was a classic jerk move, a cruel heartless thing to do to a grieving mother and father, and to his entire family and to his memory.
Honestly, I can’t say I didn’t do it out of pettiness and resentment but I’m not sure if I regret my decision either. I’m kinda losing sleep over this, though. I can’t help but wonder if I was a cruel jerk.”
30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Name My Daughter "Aquarius"?
“My wife is pregnant, and she’s due next month. We’ve been talking about baby names for a long while and we both have a list with our top five. We haven’t decided yet and my wife came to me last night with a huge smile on her face, talking about ‘finding the right name’.
I asked to hear it and she said she wants to name our daughter Aquarius. Which… was weird… I looked it up and if our daughter is on time she’ll be a Taurus or if she’s a few days late, a Gemini.
Regardless I think Zodiac names are just really not my thing but to name our daughter after something she isn’t even is?
I asked why Aquarius and my wife said it was to honor her mother, who is alive and well and is eagerly awaiting our daughter.
I was just so confused. I refused. It would be one thing to give our daughter a middle name after my MIL/my wife’s mom, but Aquarius just seems too far out of reach. I said no to Aquarius, and completely vetoed it.
Mind you, she’s vetoed some of my name suggestions right off the bat for her own reasons that I respected. I was nice about it but was firm and said basically: ‘I get wanting to honor your mom and we can do something with that but Aquarius is out of reason and I really don’t want to name our daughter that.’
My wife started crying and hasn’t talked to me since. I thought it was hormones but it’s literally been several days now and she’s still giving me the cold shoulder. To make matters worse, MIL called me and asked to clear the air.
I asked what she was talking about, and basically, wife told her about what happened but made it sound as if I had an issue with MIL. Now they’re both mad at me and are acting like it’s some personal issue with me and her mom…
I’m just so confused. AITJ for refusing to name our daughter ‘Aquarius’?”
29. AITJ For Banning My Brother's Wife From My Wedding?
“So, several years ago, my brother Tom started going out with a girl named Becky. At this moment in time, Tom and I were living together.
One day, Becky decided she didn’t like my cat, because it chewed through some wire of Tom’s that I offered to replace, but unbeknownst to me, they took my cat and dropped it off on the side of the road somewhere, and I never saw it again.
From that day on, I didn’t like Becky, but I still treated her nicely anyway, because she was my brother’s significant other, and I didn’t want to cause problems even though I was mad.
A few years later, Becky had an affair, and they split up for a while.
Tom was so broken by it. But, eventually, Becky decided she was tired of this new guy who she had an affair with, and decided to take my brother back, and they rushed into marriage. Then they shortly thereafter had a son.
My nephew practically lives at his grandma’s. Not my mom’s, but Becky’s mom’s. My mom very rarely gets to see him. And every time we have some kind of family get-together, they have an excuse for not coming, and I mean every single time.
My mom has offered many times to go get him, to take him and actually meet some of his other side of the family, and they said, ‘He wouldn’t be comfortable around other people.’ ‘Other people’ being his family members that he never gets to see.
Now, after all this, I would still be willing to let her come to my wedding, but about a month before my wedding, Tom and Becky had some issues, and Tom sent some of her texts to my family group chat that I’m in with my mom, Emily (my wife) and my other brothers.
Before I get to the texts, I should mention that Becky was pregnant with a girl at this time. My fiancée and I were struggling to get pregnant again. We went through 4 chemical pregnancies in a row and were understandably depressed about it, and when Becky got pregnant again, I said, ‘Sorry if it seems like we aren’t excited for you.
We’re just having trouble conceiving. Congratulations!’
In the aforementioned texts, Becky referred to my mom (Tom’s mom too) as a ‘fat diabetic crack’. She called me and my fiancée ‘worthless’. She called my son a ‘brat’. And she said many very rude things to Tom himself.
But the very worst thing she did, was she made fun of my fiancée’s miscarriages, and she claimed I said, ‘I’m not happy you’re pregnant, because Emily and I are having problems.’ She then added, ‘Boo-hoo’.
I didn’t let the texts bother me much at the time, because Becky has always been a judgmental piece of garbage in my eyes, and I’m not gonna let her words bother me.
But it really upset my wife to read those texts. My wife is the nicest, most caring person you’ll ever meet, and she didn’t deserve this. When I saw that it upset her so much, I decided at that moment that Becky wasn’t allowed to come to our wedding.
There’s no place for that kind of negativity on such a big day for us. So, am I the jerk?”
28. AITJ For Not Ordering A More Sophisticated Beverage?
“Recently my partner (29f) and I (31m) went out to the East Coast to visit her parents.
We’ve been together for almost a year and things have gotten serious and they wanted to meet me.
She and I come from somewhat different worlds. I grew up hunting and fishing in the rural, Northern Midwest while she comes from a well-to-do New England family.
But we met in the city where our adult lives and careers have both led us.
Anyway recently like I said we both traveled to the East Coast to visit her parents. I first met them at their home and it went well, but we were to meet for dinner at a ‘casual but nice’ seafood restaurant on the Atlantic Seaboard just a couple of hours later.
I felt a little intimidated but I wore a nice outfit to dinner and her parents seemed to like me and we got along well. Her parents first ordered us some raw oysters and paired a nice glass of white wine to go with it for all of us.
Raw oysters aren’t my thing but I ate them to be polite and drank the wine. But when it came time to order our entrees I had settled on a fried seafood platter. I had already looked at what was on tap and when the server asked what I had wanted to drink with that I ordered a tall Coors Light.
There were a ton of options on tap and maybe I should have been a little more adventurous but it had been a long day and I just wanted something wet and cold that wouldn’t challenge my taste buds.
The dinner went just fine but afterward, when we were alone my partner asked me why I had ordered a Coors Light out of every single thing on the menu.
I told her that I just didn’t feel like having anything else and she said that I had embarrassed her in front of her parents; that they had taken us out and that I’d ordered the one ‘redneck beer’ that they had ‘in reserve just in case a redneck showed up.’
I think that she was being mean. But maybe I didn’t really read the room.”
27. AITJ For Making My Friend Sleep On The Floor?
“We’re both 20-22-year-old women. So here’s the deal—I am autistic, have been since birth (obviously), got diagnosed in my teens, the whole shebang.
It’s cool, no big deal, who cares right? Well, with autism comes a pretty severe case of sensory processing disorder, because whatever deity that may or may not exist really wanted me to suffer. Obviously.
Anyways. Basically, this means I am insanely more sensitive than the average person; I can hear electricity just… existing, so I run a white noise machine 24/7, I have to wear headphones when I leave the house to muffle random noises and people, I’m a vegetarian solely because the texture of meat makes me gag and even then I’m only able to eat, like, five or six different meals because screw me I guess, I use a seam ripper to get the tags fully out of my clothes, etc. Yeah, I know.
It’s too much. Sometimes I wish I was born deaf or something so at least one of my senses wouldn’t be bombarded all day every day, but thems the breaks.
My biggest sensory trigger, however, is body hair.
I can’t stand it. I shave literally my entire body every single day, sometimes twice, just to avoid growing even the slightest bit of stubble, because the moment I do I want to rip the skin off my body and set it on fire.
Imagine hundreds of thousands of tiny little spiders crawling all over you, and for some ungodly reason you are expected to sit there and tolerate them, but you ‘can’t stop thinking about the spiders’. That’s what it feels like.
Suffice to say, I am definitely not a fan.
My friend is sleeping over tonight, and usually, when she does she shares the bed with me since I mean… where else is she gonna sleep, the kitchen table? But she was wearing shorts, and I noticed she hadn’t shaved her legs ‘cos I kept feeling the hair against my skin.
So I asked her to either change into pants or use a second blanket so we aren’t touching or if she didn’t wanna do either of those I could hunt her down a new razor or something but she seemed like mildly irritated that I’d asked and now she’s sleeping on the floor so…
Since my disability is fairly obvious, I don’t bother trying to hide it and all my friends know I’m autistic—so my friend knows, and she’s pretty dang aware of my sensory issues and that I can’t handle hair.
I figured it would be obvious that ya girl just wants to sleep properly cos how am I gonna knock out if I’m itchy all night, but I dunno man, maybe I’m a dummy or something. LOL.”
26. AITJ For Not Being Happy About My Mom Coming Back?
“I (F19) have been playing mother for my little siblings (M15) and (F13) since I just turned 16. Although my dad was around, being the only source of income for our household, he would be at work from 5:00 am to 3:00 pm – he’d still pick up my siblings and me from school.
After my 16th birthday, my mum left for a trip to New Zealand to visit her mother (my grandmother) which was around December 2019. After a month, the global crisis struck badly in New Zealand which caused her to stay there a little longer (understandable).
But after 6 months when borders were finally open, she had no excuse to stay and refused to answer the question of when she would be coming back.
Juggling to choose a career path and take up subjects to help me in the future meanwhile doing the same for my siblings as well as cooking, helping them with homework, getting them to bed on time as well as myself.
I began going to bed at the time my dad would be up for work (3:00-4:00 am).
Over the course of 2020-2021, she’d call every now and then to see how we were then suggested we move to New Zealand to be closer to her mother.
This then caused a large disagreement between my family seeing as we’ve continuously moved across countries because she would have some reason to.
Throughout my years at school, I’ve been at 8 different schools in 3 different countries, mostly moving around in my final years (making it difficult for me to focus in school).
Now, she’s returned and didn’t even tell us because she wanted to make it a surprise.
I wasn’t too happy about it as she had missed many important milestones of mine including graduation, award ceremonies, performances, etc. My little siblings however were over the moon to see her, although I feel bad for feeling this way toward her I can’t help it.
She continuously grills me now for not having a job to help my dad out, however, my resume doesn’t look all too good with no experience since all my time went to my siblings.
I just want someone to reason with me because everyone I know has either sided with her (my mum) or told me to just give her the benefit of the doubt because she’s been through a lot.”
25. AITJ For Not Persuading My Mom To Come To Our Baby Shower?
“My mom and wife don’t have a great relationship. They might low-key hate each other, but I’ve mostly made peace with it. We are currently expecting our first child and they are fighting over the baby shower.
So this is a pattern where they just do not agree on how parties work.
My wife believes that when it is your special day, you make all the rules, and if your family loves you, they will******* up. My mom is more the type to believe that if something makes her uncomfortable she shouldn’t have to do it, everyone else’s feelings be darned, and that if you really want her there you will accommodate her.
This has been a huge issue for us in the past. First, our engagement party, my mom wasn’t seeing anyone seriously and my wife wouldn’t give her a plus one. I backed my wife and my mom refused to come because she said it was going to be so uncomfortable, and she wouldn’t know a single person there (besides us).
She wasn’t invited to the bridal shower, so that was easy.
Then they had a smaller shower/pre-wedding dinner and my mom was invited to that. She wanted to bring a friend but my wife said no. My mom called her selfish, they had a fight, and then my mom claimed she was sick the night of the dinner.
Then my mom approached the wedding with a bad attitude. I let her know that while she could have a plus one for the wedding, she needed to stop with the attitude.
Now we are in the baby shower with the same problem.
I told my wife just not to invite my mom, but she needs to understand, that my mom is not going to come when she doesn’t know anyone. My wife says my mom is selfish and she needs to******* up to show that she cares.
I said in her defense, I would be so uncomfortable if I was her. My wife has a huge family and friend group and my mom has met my MIL twice (and they don’t like each other), and outside of that knows no one.
My mom declined the invite and my wife asked me to call my mom out because it doesn’t work when she does it. I said I wasn’t going to because really we can’t make her go, she doesn’t owe us her presence, and I guess I don’t see the issue with her bringing one friend.
My wife said I was being spineless, but I want to just let it go. We hardly see her, who cares if she comes? My wife is hurt and says my mom needs a reality check and that she is acting like a diva.”
24. AITJ For Refusing To Reschedule My Dental Appointment?
“So I (f34) was having a horrible toothache. I’d taken medication to ease the pain but it was bad, like ‘you need to go to the dentist’ level of bad.
I scheduled an appointment and was told to come yesterday.
My husband’s (m37) best friend ‘Terry’ (m33) got into an accident and injured his knee. He has been staying with us for several weeks. My husband looks after him as he sees him living alone and in need of assistance.
I welcomed him to our home but found myself having to clean up after him and bring him his medication and also cook for him. And if I take a long time to get something done he’d call my husband and basically ‘tell on me’ which makes my husband mad.
He says it’s temporary and also since I’m home 24/7 and he is the one working then I should help care for his friend. It has become quite overwhelming because now I can’t leave the house if my husband isn’t there with his friend.
Like I stated previously about the dental appointment, I told my husband the night before and he pitched a hissy fit saying I can’t leave Terry home alone. I suggested he take time off work and stay with him but he said it wouldn’t work with such short notice.
He suggested that I reschedule but I said no, even showed him how bad the swelling was, yet he told me to hold on for another day.
He went to work early and I decided I was still going to go.
Terry was in the living room (he sleeps on a large mattress in the living room) and saw me making my way out as Mom was waiting at the door. He asked where I was going and I told him to the dental appointment.
He had an attitude and raised his voice at me telling me to go back upstairs and cancel. Mom stepped in and started arguing with him asking who he thinks he is. He went on about how he was unable to move and then threatened to call my husband if I stepped a foot out the door.
I took my mom and left. He ended up calling my husband who then tried to call me over and over for 2 hours til I turned my phone off.
Instead of returning home, I went to stay with my mom because I was in tremendous pain and my husband started yelling at me calling me stubborn for still going after he told me to reschedule and irresponsible for leaving his injured friend home alone.
Mom told him off which escalated the argument between us. He is now currently staying at home alone with his friend while constantly pressuring me to stop hiding behind Mom and come deal with the results of having him leave his job for hours after I blindsided him and went against his wishes.”
23. AITJ For Looking For The Kids Who Stole From My Garage?
“So I recently had some middle school-aged children go into my garage and take snacks off of a shelf.
For some context, I have four children ages 20, 15, 8, and 5. My older daughters usually wait for their younger sisters to get off of the school bus. You can not see the bus stop from our front door because it is set back, so they wait in the garage.
The elementary school and middle school release at the same time, so there are multiple buses dropping off various aged kids.
This day my 15-year-old was waiting in the garage and decided to go inside and use the bathroom. At 4:05 three middle school kids approached my garage, and two others stood in the street in front of my home.
Two of three boys ran into my garage and ran out about 25 seconds later with snack food and all five kids took off running down the street. My older daughter is seen on the camera about two minutes later and my younger kids get off the school bus at 4:09.
I get home from work at 4:12 and my garage is closed. At about 5:00 pm my husband calls me to ask who the kids in our garage were.
I review the camera and notice that the kid who waited outside of my garage lives at the end of my street.
I go outside and see that he and one of the children who entered my garage are playing basketball in the street. I approach them and ask why they were in my garage. The child who entered my garage said ‘I wasn’t.’ I told him that it was on my security camera.
He said it wasn’t him. I reminded him that he was wearing the same clothes. He tells me ‘Call the police then, jerk’ and walks away.
I return to the house at the end of my street when the mother is home to speak to her and ask her if her child can point me in the direction of the homes of the other two children so I can go speak to their parents.
Her son says he doesn’t who they were and she tells me she can’t help me. So I post the video on a neighborhood app asking if anyone knows who the children are because I would like to speak to their parents.
Many people on the app are upset that I would post a video of ‘kids being kids’ and are saying that I am starting a witch hunt for some kids over snacks. People have commented that I only posted it because the kids are not white (I am not white) and that I have blown this out of proportion.
AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Calling Out My Landlord For Peeking Into My House?
“I (24F) have recently moved into a new town to complete my postgraduate. It was pretty daunting, but after 6 months, I am starting to settle in. My landlord (40sM) was a bit weird when I first signed the lease.
He kept making offhand comments about me bringing home different guys each week. Of course, he didn’t say this explicitly but heavily implied it. I just brushed it off and kept moving because whether I use my home for pulling all-nighters like I intend to, or use it for one-night stands is up to me.
To make matters even weirder, my neighbor (60sF) is very good friends with my landlord and doesn’t approve of me moving into the area (for info it is a rather mature area so I’m really bringing the average age down).
The problem came 4 days ago when my landlord requested a formal inspection with rather short notice (he wanted to inspect the very next day). I obviously rejected this because it was too short notice, and suggested a date a week later.
The request included something about me having a dog. The lease didn’t allow dogs, but I got my West Highland Terrier only a month after signing (low shedding and small so shouldn’t cause too much trouble). I don’t know how he found out, but I soon realized how.
Turns out, my neighbor has been complaining to my landlord about my dog, about how he is very loud and she can see him ruining the property. This is obviously exaggerated and borderline lies because he is very quiet and obedient.
It all came to a climax when I saw my landlord and neighbor peeking over the fence yesterday. Turns out, my neighbor invited my landlord over to peek into my house after I denied the initial request. When I spotted him recording, I started yelling at him and calling him a creep.
He sped off quickly after that, but my neighbor started screaming back and called me a belligerent jerk and that when I get evicted it will serve me right for bringing home guys every week (I haven’t had a single guy over in 3 months, dunno what she is on about) and getting that annoying dog.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Saying I Don't Want My Best Friend's Partner's Friend Around Anymore?
“So I (26M) own my house and it has an in-ground pool. Since I live in a warm weather state, my friends love to come over. In the past few months, my house has turned into a hangout spot among my friends.
My best friend Tyler is going out with Gwen. Gwen has a friend named Julie. We’ve all known each other since freshman year of college. I’ve always had a crush on Julie and we’ve always been part of the same group.
One night a few weeks ago I decided to just go for it and texted her to ask her out. She told me that she liked me as a friend. I told her I totally understood and thought that would be the end of it.
Well, the next pool day came. I typically send out giant group texts to invite everyone. I decided to not invite Julie this time. But she showed up. Not even with Tyler or Gwen. She came with some of the other friends in our group.
And it was just really awkward. She tried talking to me the WHOLE time. I’d say something quickly and try to leave. She partnered with me for every drinking game. We have never spoken that much even before I asked her out.
After she left that night I told Tyler/Gwen what happened. Gwen told me she already knew. I told them that I didn’t really want her around anymore. Gwen said she would talk to Julie about it. Well, this past Saturday I had another pool day.
Similar thing, sent out the text and left Julie off of it. I invited a girl that I’d been talking to. Well, Julie shows up again. But this time she spends the whole day talking to the new girl I brought.
They became ‘besties’. Julie even told the girl that I asked her out before. It was just incredibly awkward for me.
So this Sunday I texted Julie individually and told her that I didn’t want her around anymore. And that she shouldn’t come to the next get-together as I felt uncomfortable.
She didn’t respond. But now people in the friend group are calling me a jerk. Saying that I host most weekends so it’s pretty harsh to put her out. AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Somehow Advising My Brother's Ex To Take Her Kids From Him?
“My (32F) brother (28) and his ex-wife (26) have been separated for 2 years. He has his boys (5 & 2) every second weekend if that. There have been plenty of times that he hasn’t committed to those weekends and left her hanging on his weekend and then any weekend he does have them he basically palms them off to me because in his words ‘they’ll have more fun at your house’ (I have 6-year-old twins and a 7-year-old, all boys) so they all play together.
I get so mad at my brother and always tell him he needs to pull his head out and look after his kids but at the same time I just feel sorry for the boys cause I know their dad isn’t going to look after them properly or do anything for them so I just take them it’s not a big deal to me cause I love having them.
I just hate enabling his behavior.
Anyways this recent weekend I had his boys again and their mum came to my house to pick them up. I invited her in and she was saying how she’s noticed that she’s been picking them up from mine a bit lately.
And she was venting about how annoying it is that he doesn’t stick to his weekends. Now I don’t blatantly say ‘You need to take those boys off him’ but I just say like yeah he’s being super lazy and making up excuses not to have them (this recent week his arm was sore).
Where I think I messed up was I started saying about how taking my boys off their dad was the best thing I ever did for me and my kids and was just saying how my ex was the same way but eventually more serious things happened and I ended up saying he can’t have them every second weekend anymore but he could txt me any time he wants them and if it worked with our routine he could have them.
Anyway, I was telling her how much more freeing it is to not have to rely on him sticking to his weekend to make plans. And how my boys are happier not being let down every other weekend and not actually saying it but kinda just hinting that she should consider it.
She must have told him cause I got a call from him not long after she left telling me how much of a jerk I am, that I shouldn’t be interfering with his kids, and how I was being an unsupportive sister trying to get his kids taken off him.
I blew up at him and told him if he wasn’t such a lazy deadbeat dad I wouldn’t have had to say anything but since he won’t listen and actually look after his kids then they’re better off with her.
I then got a visit from my mother (my mom thinks the sun shines out of his butt and is constantly making excuses for him, saying ‘He’s just going through stuff’). My mother scolded me saying I’m judgemental and I should just mind my own business.
So AITJ for hinting to my brother’s ex that she should consider taking her boys off him?”
19. AITJ For Treating My Daughter's Cats And Dogs Like My Grandkids?
“Unfortunately when I was younger, birth control was frowned upon in many circles, and I ended up having two children due to the pressures of society and family. I am so glad the younger generation has more of a choice.
John and Amber were very good kids and I did everything I could for them. Kissed boo-boos, told fairytales, held them through scary tantrums, helped with homework, and made sure they were fed, educated, and protected.
But once they moved out I was just so relieved that it was over.
I could finally find out who I was without society frowning at me expecting me to be someone. Amber and I spend a lot of time together still, and John comes around with his family at least monthly. Their father thankfully passed away peacefully, so it’s just me and them.
Onto the issue. John has three kids, my grandbabies. I was never all that interested in being a grandma. I’d hoped to be done with the burden of young children. But I do my best.
Amber does not have kids, but she has a dog and a cat she loves.
I jokingly call them ‘the grandpuppies’ and though I know it’s silly, I get them little gifts at the holidays too.
John recently came to me upset because I bought a new cat tree for Amber, who is fostering kittens.
He said that I have never done anything like that for his kids and that they could use a new jungle gym in the backyard or new toys too.
He became very cross with me and told me I was a terrible grandma and a horrible mom, and how it was typical of me to treat cats and dogs better than his kids.
He stormed out with his youngest and said he won’t come back until I acknowledge how hurtful my behavior is.
I talked to his wife, and she relayed that John is upset that I don’t do all the grandma things you expect.
Art projects, day trips, sneaking them candy, etc. He thinks I am cold and unfeeling and always have been.
To me, getting a cat tree is more for me to show Amber that I respect who she is and will never push her to be a mother if she doesn’t want to be.
But to John, I guess it is a sign that I value kitties and puppies more than babies.
Am I the jerk?
(I do buy them gifts at appropriate times. They are not left out, but no, I have never gone out to spend $1,000 at random for a jungle gym.)
(I do not dote on the animals. They get little gifts at the holidays like the grandkids do. I don’t have any pets of my own and I’ve never had them. I’ve always supported John’s lifestyle, I went and stayed with them as their request when the first child was born, I paid for their preschool, and they’ve been sent to my home many times for the adults to get alone time.
In my mind, supporting their actual needs was showing them the most love I could.)”
18. WIBTJ If I Refuse To Give Up My Hotel Room For The Bride?
“My (F37) brother (M36) is getting married in September. Because of the popularity of the location, FSIL (F26) is losing out on a lot of her choices (location, date/time of wedding, DJ, photographer, caterer, etc.).
The wedding time was settled to a midday time slot. They set up room blocks at two hotels as most of the guests are not local, and they chose one of the hotels for themselves as the on-site amenities will allow the wedding guests to continue socializing onsite at the lobby bar after the reception ends.
As with the other guests, I will be coming from out of town. I have 4 kids who will be in the wedding along with my husband so back in June I reserved two adjoining rooms at the bride and groom’s hotel of choice (my husband will be gone a lot doing best man things).
When selecting, I opted to pick a suite that had an additional sitting area to allow everyone to be spread out because I know it will be chaotic the day of. I hadn’t even thought about it again until today.
I received a text from the bride yesterday that the hotel is going to call me as there is a problem with my rooms, can she pass my info along? I replied sure, but I hope nothing is wrong because I booked it back in June, weird for them to ask about it now.
She says she thinks I accidentally booked the bridal suite so they are going to call me to fix it. A day passes, no call. Bride asks if anyone called and I said no, and she responds that she is gonna kill the lady.
I get the call, and the manager was flustered. Turns out, the bride never booked a room for herself. The bride assumed that the room block automatically created her room reservation (for added info, the wedding is not being held at the hotel and the bride and groom are local).
There were three suites, but there were at least three other wedding blocks in the hotel so the suites filled up quickly.
The manager couldn’t confirm that I would still get adjoining rooms, so I haven’t given an answer.
I’m hesitating because I planned ahead to ensure my family would be together and I will be as stress-free as possible, and the only reason I’m being asked is because they could tell I booked the room by my last name.
What would she have done if I didn’t have the suite? WIBTJ if I don’t give it up?”
17. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Bank Account Information To My Partner?
“I (f31) have been with my partner (m37) for 8 months. He has 3 kids and is a single dad.
We’re on pretty good terms regarding almost everything. When it comes to finances and spending, we’d take turns inviting each other out weekly (we don’t live together obviously).
Several times he had me pay for his kids’ purchases. I didn’t make a big issue out of it for the sole reason that those purchases were relatively small, all I had to pay was $30-60.
The other day, he called me while I was at work, and sounded like he was in a hurry. He said he just found the gaming device he’s been looking for for so long and wanted to buy it for his oldest son.
I asked what’s this have to do with me, and he told me he was short on budget and needed $300. He asked me to lend him the $300 and I hesitated but agreed. He asked for my bank account info so he could pull the funds but I refused and told him to wait for me til I get there.
He insisted and said he’d handle it, all I had to do was just send him my bank account info after I end the call with him. His insistence made me uncomfortable so I still said no and told him to either wait or I won’t pay.
He got mad at me saying he didn’t get why I was acting like this. He got so loud I had to hang up.
I found him sitting outside after I went home. He was waiting for me and was extremely upset.
He asked why I didn’t just send him the account info so he could pull the funds we agreed on. I told him I don’t feel comfortable letting anyone have my personal info especially when it comes to finances. He got offended and said, ‘I’M NOT JUST ANYONE, I’M YOUR PARTNER!’ Then went on a rant about how he ended up not paying for the gaming device after looking for it for so long and now his kid is mad at him and it’s my fault.
We had a fight then he left and told me I’d better have an apology for him AND his son next time I call his phone… I haven’t called yet but I feel like I acted stupidly and irrationally. I think I should’ve just given him the info he asked for.
I don’t know if I made the right decision.”
16. AITJ For Telling My Mother I Don't Want Her In My Kids' Lives If She Doesn't Change Her Behavior?
“My (37M) fiancée (33F) had emergency surgery years before we met that left her unable to conceive without IVF. She told me this four or five dates in so I knew early on.
My fiancée is seriously one of the best humans I’ve ever met and we plan to try IVF, knowing it may or may not be successful.
Since we got engaged, my parents have been endless with the ‘grandbabies’ talk.
My Mom especially constantly talks about how she can’t wait to be a grandmother, how ‘Spring and summer babies would be so nice! Hint hint.’ I didn’t tell them about my fiancée’s infertility because frankly, her body is no one’s business but hers.
It bothers my fiancée a lot. She cries pretty much every time this happens. She agreed to let me talk to them so I went over to my parents yesterday and explained it.
My mother instantly starts crying, saying this is ‘the worst news for a woman my age’ and that she was devastated for me.
My mom and I are very close, I’m the only child but I still thought this was a huge overreaction. But then she made it much much worse. Back story: I heavily abused some substances for most of my teens and twenties.
I was sober for 5 years (on year 8 now) before I started going out with women again and even though I always made it clear that I didn’t expect my partner to also be sober, meeting new people really sucked until I met my fiancée.
She not only supported me but did it enthusiastically. She comes up with these crazy (okay, delicious) mocktails every date night. I took care of all my issues with lots of therapy before I met her but it helps A LOT to have someone so supportive.
She constantly makes me want to be a better man.
Anyway, Mom suggested that I got engaged too quickly because I feel insecure about my sobriety (I don’t) and ‘You know I love (fiancée) very much but have you considered breaking off the engagement and being with someone younger?’
So yeah, I lost my mind. I told her she was being selfish, and that my fiancée isn’t a baby-making machine and deserves a better MIL. I said that if we are ever able to have kids with IVF unless she changes her attitude, I don’t want her in my kids’ lives.
My mom and I are really close and we’ve never really fought so she took this really hard.
My dad says I was out of line and that my mom is just ‘grieving’ and didn’t mean what she said and regrets it.
While I get that, I don’t think that’s an excuse for what she said and I’m not going to encourage that behavior. I haven’t told my fiancée all the details because she would be absolutely devastated. My best friend is on my side.
Another friend says this is an ‘everyone sucks here’ situation because I overreacted. I’m not saying I’m going to cut my mom out of my life but she needs to apologize and change her attitude.
So let me have it.
Did I overreact? Am I the jerk?”
15. AITJ For Wanting To Tell My Neighbors Not To Send Their Kid Over To My House?
“My son is 2, and the girl next door is 5. She comes to my house daily! My son loves the company, but the girl is a massive brat.
This girl comes over and plays with my son, the whole time scolding him because he is being a typical toddler, complaining to me that he is acting like a typical toddler all while helping herself to our food, and wasting most of whatever she takes and complaining that we don’t have anything good to eat.
Lately, I’ve been outside working, I have watched her parents push her out the door and send her over while I’m literally covered in dirt and sweat from the complicated tasks I am doing with no intention of stopping anytime soon.
Right away she starts asking me over and over again if she can go inside, I explain over and over, not unattended because I have a reactive dog and they are too young to be left in the house alone.
Then she asks interchangeably if I can hurry and finish so we can go inside while also asking for misc. snacks and beverages.
I’ve been getting snappy because I hate stopping what I’m doing when I’m not finished and explaining things over and over again is a pet peeve for me.
I’ve literally given up on my front yard and moved to my back yard in hopes of not being seen, but she has figured that out and lets herself in. She also sits at the door trying to figure out the lock code, rings our doorbell over and over again, and peeks in the windows when we don’t answer the door, which we have been doing a lot because even if I say he can’t play because we are… (insert reason here) she will just sit there and argue with me to let them play.
She has ruined many nap times which has left me with a nasty cranky toddler.
I did feel bad for turning her away and at first I wouldn’t be doing so if we really didn’t have things to do, ie: naptime, bath time, eating, going to the store, going to the doctor… But having to literally argue with a 5-year-old child who isn’t mine has me avoiding this girl at all costs now.
So am I the jerk if I tell her parents to stop sending her over?”
14. AITJ For Refusing To Cover My Workmate's Thanksgiving Shift?
“At my workplace, we regularly bribe each other to trade shifts. Usually, it’s like a good bottle of wine/booze or a gift certificate for a restaurant. We keep it on the down-low and it works. We do IT services for financial companies.
So Thanksgiving weekend is sort of important.
So one of my coworkers does not like to pay to trade shifts but has before. They always complain about how it’s not fair that people like me who are unmarried and have no kids get holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas off.
Sorry ma’am but even though I don’t have kids I am one. Maybe my parents want to see me too? So anyways my parents are actually going to Bermuda this Thanksgiving because that’s where my sister is and she just had a baby.
I would love to go but I don’t have enough vacation time to make it worthwhile. Instead, I have plans with friends. They aren’t super important to me. We are just going to eat turkey and watch all the Thanksgiving episodes of Friends.
I mentioned this to another coworker and the other one overheard. It is her turn to be in the office and on call for the holiday. She couldn’t find anyone to cover her shift. So she basically begged me to cover for her.
I liked my plans so I said no. She finally offered to pay me. So we haggled and then agreed. She would take my New Year’s Eve shift and give me a couple of hundred dollars to cover her from Thursday to Sunday.
Win-win I thought.
Two days later my boss came over and asked me if I wanted to change the schedule as I had agreed. I asked why he was getting involved as we usually just handled it amongst ourselves. He said that he had gotten a complaint that I extorted funds out of a coworker for covering their shift. He said that while it wasn’t against company policy it was frowned upon.
I said that I understood and that nothing had been exchanged and that no I didn’t want to change shifts.
My boss was promoted from the ranks so he knew the score. He knows how we trade shifts. So he was cool.
My coworker, not so much. She started bugging me, saying that she had already told her parents that her family would be coming. And that I was being a jerk for not covering like I said I would.
I told her that someone has gone to the boss and tattled on our deal so I could not follow through since I could get in trouble.
She said that I could do it for free. I declined. She said she would pay me more than we agreed on. I said no thanks I don’t want any trouble.
So now she is acting all annoyed because I won’t work for her and now she is being shut out of the regular shift trading because everyone knows she tried to use the boss to screw me over.
She says that I’m a jerk for not following through. I think she’s a jerk for trying to change a deal she agreed to.”
13. AITJ For Being Angry At My Husband For How He Punished My Daughter?
“I (45F) married my husband, John (44M), about twelve years ago. When we got married, I had a daughter, Jane, who is now 16 years old while John had a son who is now 21 years old.
Jane’s dad and I have an excellent relationship.
We were best friends before we started going out, and mutually agreed to break up less than a year into it. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant, so we worked out a co-parenting system where we were both heavily involved in Jane’s life.
We live on the same street, have weekly family dinners, and spend holidays together.
Although John wasn’t neglectful, he very clearly favored his own son and viewed Jane as a step-daughter as opposed to his daughter. I was fine with this arrangement because Jane had a father who was very actively involved in her life.
This past year, his son transferred to a new school and moved out of our house. Since then, John has started being much more fatherly towards Jane. He went from occasionally checking her grades, keeping her on a loose leash, and going to the occasional orchestra concert to checking her grades nightly and talking to her if anything falls below a B, making sure he knows EXACTLY where she’s going and when she’s leaving, and frankly being a little overzealous with her orchestra concerts and practice.
Jane didn’t seem to mind, though, so I never intervened.
Recently though, John caught Jane and a few of her friends drinking.
I wasn’t home when this happened, but according to Jane, John blew his lid and kicked all of her friends out before confiscating her phone, grounding her for two weeks, and making her download a tracker app on her phone for when she got it back.
I was furious.
In my and Jane’s father’s opinion, John’s punishment went completely overboard. I asked him why he thought it was his responsibility to do anything more than kick her friends out.
He said that he’s been in her life for over a decade and had a right to punish her as he saw fit.
Here’s where I feel like I might be the jerk. I told John to stop acting like Jane’s father because he wasn’t in any sense of the word.
John got really angry and stormed out.
I feel bad because it was pretty cruel and clearly struck a nerve, but I don’t think I said anything incorrect.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother To Give Our Grandma's Engagement Ring To His Partner?
“I (32F) have a very close relationship with my brother (24M). Our parents weren’t very present in our lives and we spent the majority of our childhood living with our grandparents.
However, our grandmother recently passed away and it has had a huge impact on my and my brother’s lives. In her will, our grandmother gave me her wedding ring as well as her engagement ring. As well as this, I inherited their home and many small jewelry and art pieces.
My brother also inherited a ring that my grandmother wore every day and it was a gift from her father.
When my brother came to me and told me that he wished to marry his partner of 2 years I was thrilled. Although I didn’t have the best history with his partner I was over the moon that he was finally settling down.
He then asked if he would be able to use the engagement ring I inherited to propose. I said no as I was planning on giving the ring to my 10-year-old daughter when she turns 16. He didn’t seem upset by it and told me that he would rather I had the ring anyway.
I suggested that he could use the ring he inherited and it would be just as meaningful. He agreed. I didn’t hear much else about the situation until my family and I got invited to my brother’s house for a dinner party.
At this dinner party, my brother and his partner announced that they were engaged. I was so excited for them and we all congratulated them immediately. My brother’s partner then said to me ‘Thank you so much for letting us use your grandmother’s engagement ring.’ I was shocked. I corrected her and told her that I did not give permission for my brother to use that ring.
My brother laughed and told me that he was under the impression that I was just being sensitive and I would eventually give him the ring. I told him that this would definitely not be happening and I told his partner my plans to give my daughter the ring.
She then got super defensive claiming that my daughter wouldn’t benefit from the ring anyways because she’s not ‘girly’. I was so angry as my daughter overheard this entire conversation and began crying. Neither of them apologized to her and they still haven’t.
My brother’s partner then told me that I was being selfish and I would have absolutely no need for both rings as I’m already married and I only have one child. I told her that I would have been happy to give my brother any other jewelry items that I inherited but I was not comfortable sharing my late grandmother’s wedding and engagement ring.
They both blew up on me claiming that I’d ruined their engagement and that my grandmother would not be proud of the way I was acting. It’s been about a week and my brother hasn’t tried to contact me and my uncle is telling me to apologize and give them the ring to make everything easier.
What do I do?”
11. AITJ For Canceling A Client's Appointment Because She Was 2 Hours Late?
“I’m (F17) a part-time braider and I take my job very seriously because this is how I make money and this is what I want to do as a career.
I work from 4 pm-10 pm on weekdays and 8 am-8 pm on weekends.
School is my first priority and on weekends enjoying my weekend is important too.
I have my policy on my booking link so before you even book an appointment you have to read my policy. A couple of policies I have are No show=No further appointments, 30 minute grace period, after that your appointment will be canceled, No extra people, etc, etc. Most of my clients respect my ‘rules’ and always come through.
This girl ‘Tiffany’ booked an appointment with me for June 4th at 3 pm. She was getting a wig installed (no braid down just application) so I had another client right after her for braids. If you wear braids or do braids you know braids can take HOURS!
Braids already take hours plus she booked a take-down and shampoo so that’s extra time.
It came time for Tiffany’s appointment so I was setting everything up for her. 3 pm came and she wasn’t there. I have a 30-minute grace period so I wasn’t worried. After 15 minutes I texted her and asked if was she still coming and never received a text back.
It was going on at 3:45 so I just took it as a no-show and put all my stuff away and started getting the stuff ready for my next client. I texted Tiffany and told her her appointment was canceled but she could come pick up her wig (it was customized and everything FOR FREE all she needed was someone else to install it for her).
I never received a text back.
My next client came around 4:30 and I started working on her head. Maybe around 5:30-ish my mom called me and told me I had a client at the door (I work out of my house) and to come see what she was getting at because she was cutting up outside.
I stopped in the middle of my client’s hair to go see who it was and it was Tiffany.
She was trying to cuss me out, saying I ruined her baby shower and why was her appointment canceled so I explained to her my policy and that she wasn’t just 30 minutes late or even an hour, she was 2 HOURS LATE and I couldn’t do her hair anymore.
I gave her a wig and sent her on her way.
She started talking about me on social media and everybody in the comments is dragging me saying I’m unprofessional and not to book with me when I’ve been nothing BUT professional. If you can’t respect me and my rules you just won’t get your hair done by me, there are lots of other hairstylists where we stay.
My mom said I’m not wrong but I’m getting a lot of messages and she’s getting a lot of comments on her post talking about how ‘unprofessional’ I am being when I did nothing but respect her and her time.
I’ve even had a client cancel an appointment after seeing her post. I’m losing income and clients over this petty mess and I know I’m not wrong. AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Asking My Fiancé Not To Attend His Friend's Wedding?
“My fiancé and I have been together since March of 2020 and we recently got engaged in March of 2022.
His friend of 5+ years ‘John’ met a woman in July of 2021 and they got engaged that December. We went on a few double dates with them and we got to know ‘Jane’. My fiancé and John have a group of guy friends who have all known each other since they were teens, almost all the guys recently met/got engaged to someone and a lot of weddings are happening this year and next year including ours.
John and Jane sent out save the dates in January of this year, but when we got ours it was only addressed to my fiancé. We didn’t think much of it and assumed I was invited as my fiancé’s plus one.
A couple weeks later we looked at the guest list online and my name wasn’t anywhere, so my fiancé texted John and asked if I was invited. John said that due to budget reasons I wasn’t allowed to come, he also said ‘Only married couples were allowed to attend together.’
We were upset about this at first since my fiancé and I had been in a relationship longer than John and Jane, just not married yet, but we got over it because all of the other partners and fiancés of the group weren’t invited either for the same reasons and we could, of course, understand no plus ones for budget reasons.
I told my fiancé he should still go if he wanted to support his friend, even though I wasn’t invited.
Fast forward to May of this year and the wedding invites are sent out. As expected, my fiancé gets one and I don’t.
However, John told the other guys in the friend group they could bring their plus ones, I only know this because I’m close to most of the partners/fiancés. We talked about it during a hangout with just us ladies one night and they asked me if I was going.
So later, my fiancé texted John asking if I could be his plus one, to which John responded the same way as before ‘No because of budget and marriage reasons’ even though none of the other guys in the group are married.
So I then asked my fiancé not to attend, I felt hurt and disrespected that I alone would not be allowed to attend because of these ‘rules’ but everyone else could. John and I were fairly friendly at one point because he went out with my cousin before he met his soon-to-be wife.
We texted and went on double dates often, I haven’t seen him since he got engaged but I thought we were still friends. Why am I not invited while John’s other friends’ partners are?
My fiancé still wants to go, he wants to support his friend but I feel his friend is being disrespectful and hasn’t given us a reason as to why I’m not invited. I’m upset he still wants to attend and he’s upset I can’t attend but still wants to go to be there for his friend.
We’ve discussed it a lot but he’s still going no matter how upset it makes me.
AITJ for wanting my fiancé to skip his friend’s wedding?”
9. AITJ For Being Concerned That A Coworker Might Not Have Understood What I Said?
“I was talking to a new coworker who is from Thailand and English is their second language. She has lived here for around six months and moved here with little English speaking skills.
I would say she is at the very least proficient now and is improving every day. We are just coworkers but I feel very proud to be a part of her story in a weird way.
So she and I were talking about a customer who ordered a bunch of food for his wedding and essentially was being a groomzilla refusing to pick it up and insisting on delivery out of our delivery range.
I told my coworker how he ‘was so nonchalant about everything up until he began demanding us to deliver.’ After saying that I realized that my coworker probably might have not learned that word before (I learned it in middle school English class so I don’t blame her).
I wasn’t really sure if the exact word would make sense, so after I said it I used three synonyms for it ‘like he was relaxed, not emotional, unaffected.’ She nodded and the convo ended a couple minutes after.
Another coworker later told me that she was overhearing our conversation (we work in a small place so that makes sense) and that I was patronizing and they could have used context clues to figure it out. I haven’t really thought about that before and now am starting to think I was being somewhat condescending.
She is very hard to read, at least to me, and tends not to be super expressive so I couldn’t really tell if in the conversation she was offended or not.
Now I’m not sure if I was the jerk.
Please give me your honest opinion, at first I thought I was in the right but now I’m starting to think otherwise.”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner To Cook Curry?
“My (25F) family (parents and siblings) and I have lived in Japan for 8 years (I was born there). Whenever it was colder weather, my mom would make curry for the family.
This tradition continued till this day (in another country)… If it’s raining or it’s cold, on a weekend, my mom will call for lunch/dinner at her house, because it’s her curry day. And this is sacred to my mother, she even goes to the center to buy curry imported from Japan for this.
My partner Camile (26F) has been with me for 7 years. Camile and my mother don’t have the best relationship, due to disagreements in the past, they manage to stay in the same room without fighting, but they keep nagging each other.
Camile always participates in the curry days and has even helped in the preparation. And some bad moments are going on because Camile keeps making some suggestions for my mom’s curry and she (mum) doesn’t want to know, but I already told Camile to stop.
Recently, Camile has been bringing up that she wants to make dinner and call my whole family, I agreed until I knew what food she intended to make. She wanted to buy curry imported from Japan to make her own Curry Day Tradition.
I made it very clear that maybe this wasn’t the best idea because it’s a tradition in my family and my mother’s Curry Day is a very important thing for her (the day to see her children and grandchildren all together) and that obviously would generate unnecessary conflict, since there are thousands of other dishes that Camile could choose from and she chose precisely to make something that is extremely special to my mother, giving an idea (even if not intentionally) that she would be wanting to compete with my mother.
Camile got mad that my mom doesn’t own the dish and that she could create her own tradition without having to ask my mom’s permission to make a dish that isn’t hers.
I said I understood, but I asked her if this is a battle she wants to have with my mother and create an easily manageable discomfort that can solve by choosing any other dish in the world.
She’s pretty upset with me, which I understand, but honestly? I just want peace.
And based on my mother’s reaction, as she was already extremely upset when a SIL decided to make this dinner for my brother and the children years ago.
My mom doesn’t care about many things, but curry day is important to her.
AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Resetting The Phone Before Giving It To My Stepmom?
“I (16f) decided things were not going great with my dad’s new family and decided to move in with my grandparents.
On day 1 my Grammy bought me a new phone.
She did this in case my new stepmom or dad requested the old one back.
I kept my old number and transferred all my data to my new phone. I even transferred the SIM card to the phone Grammy bought.
I then decided to follow the instructions to reset the old phone to its original settings from the factory. I put the phone inside a box with its charger. My dad didn’t bring up the phone when we spoke last. Or I could have just given it to him then.
Early this morning. EARLY stepmom showed up at Grammy’s house ringing the bell over and over again demanding my phone. Seriously they could have just asked for it when I spoke to my dad last time or come at a decent hour.
When stepmom demanded it Grammy let her know that she is not welcome into the house and that we would bring it outside to her, which sent my stepmom on another rant about how spoiled I was.
I ran literally into my room while Grammy was arguing with my stepmom.
I grabbed the phone and gave it to my stepmom since my stepmom was standing outside and Grammy was standing inside the door. I quickly stepped inside and shut the door/locking it. Stepmom still flustered left.
I decided to try and go back to sleep.
Another 2 hours passed when I got a message from a friend asking me to check my social media. When I did, I saw a post from my dad’s account on my account calling me a jerk for setting my phone back to the original setting.
He also went on about how my stepmom needed the phone and now can’t use it. At the end of the post, it said that I must be doing horrible things if I can’t even allow my own dad to see the messages, followed by how disappointed my mom (she died) must be, then listed several reasons why.
It was also followed by some replies from my aunts and uncles calling me a jerk.
I screenshot the post and sent the ring video of my stepmom to my dad’s cell phone, his personal email, and his office email, telling him that I want to go no contact.
Lastly, I sent it to my grandparents (dad’s parents) telling them I can’t have contact anymore because it’s too painful. Dragging my mom into this is too much, along with seeing the comments on my dad’s post from family members on my dad’s side.
Now that I am calming down some I am feeling bad about what happened. Am I the jerk for setting the phone back to the factory settings before giving it back to my stepmom?
Side note: My Grammy said the post may not have been written by my dad.
But, I don’t know, if it came from his account.
Am I the jerk here? Did I overreact?”
6. AITJ For Not Removing The Silly Note My Wife Put In The Guest Bathroom?
“My (M36) wife (F27) and I just purchased our first home. We have always rented before.
I’m what my grandfather called a shade tree mechanic.
I work on my car and other people’s cars just in my shop when I have time. It’s a side hustle. I’m a teacher in real life. So is she.
I, in the past, have gotten grease and dirt on our hand towels and she has told me off.
I don’t do it anymore, not for a long time anyway.
Our new home has 2.5 bathrooms. Including the one that we have for guests. She decorated it with all that stuff to make it look nice. Honestly, it’s nicer than she decorated our ensuite in our room.
She spent all week getting the house ready for our friends and family. She is very happy to show off our new home. As am I.
I cleaned up the backyard and the shop so I could show my friends and family where I goof off.
One of the things she did was leave a note pinned to the hand towels in the guest bathroom. It said ‘If you touch these I will end you’ and she had drawn a little skull and crossbones.
When it was time for everyone to come she told me to check everything and make sure it looked nice.
I suppose one of the things I should have done is remove the note. I did not.
We had an excellent party and everyone left with a full belly and a smile.
The day after the party we were cleaning up and I hear her call me by my name.
She never calls me by my name. I hadn’t done anything bad recently so I wasn’t sure why I was in trouble.
I had not touched the hand towels. And neither had anyone else. They were immaculate.
She says I did it on purpose to make her look bad.
I totally just missed the note. She called her mom and I heard her saying it was my fault people think she doesn’t want them using her towels.
It’s such a minor thing but she is still mad at me.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Helping Our Team Captain With Her Cheer Uniform?
“I’m a junior in high school, and I’ve been on the cheer team every year since freshman year. I am co-captain this year, and I have always got along with everyone on our team, especially our captain.
We got new cheer uniforms this year and they are super super cute. This was the first year that my uniform fit perfectly, like a glove. I was so excited. However, our captain was very unhappy with hers. (Also keep in mind she is pretty entitled, but she’s usually very nice).
She claims her uniform is way too big on her, and demanded that she get a new one. Our coach (married to our captain’s cousin) told her that if they ordered another, it probably wouldn’t come until toward the end of the season.
She told her that the only option was to see if someone would switch with her. And just my luck, our coach volunteered me. I was pretty upset because I loved the uniform I had, but I told her I would try.
Now, our captain isn’t overweight or anything like that, but she is about 4 sizes bigger than I am, so keep that in mind. When I tried on her skirt, it was obviously bigger than mine, but it would be fine if I just rolled it.
The real problem was the top. It was huge on me. The arm openings were giant, and it was way too long, like a dress. Our tops are also turtle-neck, and it was so big that the neck was sagging down.
I looked like a little kid wearing a life jacket at the pool. There was so way I could wear that.
Then she tried mine on. The skirt didn’t even zip all the way up, and the top was so small it looked like she couldn’t move or breathe.
In my opinion, it was very unflattering, but she claimed that she loved it and definitely wanted to switch. I told the coach there is no way I can switch with her. She was kind of rude about it but she couldn’t force me.
So she just told our captain to ask someone else.
This all happened last week, and ever since then, she and a lot of the other girls have been mean to me (dirty looks, rude comments, ignoring me at practice, etc.).
She keeps saying that I’m ‘ruining her senior year’ and I ‘should be ashamed for not helping a friend’ and stuff like that. I honestly didn’t think I was in the wrong, but now I just don’t know anymore.
I’ve apologized profusely, but it doesn’t even seem worth it anymore since she’s not forgiving me. Pls help.”
4. AITJ For Wearing A Flesh-Colored Swimsuit?
“I (37f) have a (tiny) swimming pool in my backyard, which is fenced with 6ft tall fencing all the way around my backyard.
We recently got new neighbors (30s, M & F), and aside from asking us for a few recommendations we haven’t had any contact with them.
I have a permanent leg injury that causes me to walk with a limp, and pool exercise is the easiest thing I can do and doesn’t cause my muscle any additional pain.
The point is I spend at least 3-4 days a week in the pool for an hour or two doing leg ‘workouts’ and then floating for maybe 20m after to relax.
Our female neighbor came over and rang the doorbell last week while I was in the pool.
My husband (m37) works from home so he answered the door. He said the neighbors ask that I stop wearing my swimsuit (it’s a flesh-colored one-piece) because when they look out their kitchen window into our backyard (the back half of our house is raised so going out the back door means going down steps – so each house can kind of see into their neighbor’s backyard) they can see me in the pool and it looks like I didn’t have any clothes on from that distance.
I understand that it might look that way, and I do have other swimsuits but this one fits the most comfortably over my scars (which are extensive) and doesn’t cause me issues when I move around in the pool. I have a lot of nerve damage in those areas and certain kinds of fabric or pressure/rubbing just makes patches of my hip and leg really uncomfortable.
Anyways, I didn’t change to a different one, and yesterday the female neighbor came over again and was yelling. She said it was ‘gross’ that I know that it looks like I didn’t have any clothes on and still wear that swimsuit, and she accused me of wanting that kind of attention from her husband.
I told her if she didn’t like what she was seeing not to look in my backyard because it’s exactly that – my backyard. I told her she could plant a tree against her side of the fence that blocks their view from their kitchen window and that would be problem solved. She said she shouldn’t have to spend that kind of money when I could just do the decent thing and switch to a different swimsuit.
My husband is on my side and says it’s our pool and I’m not doing anything wrong but one of my friends said I should swap just to keep the peace because being on bad terms with your neighbor can get awkward.
(This is what made me think I might be a bit of a petty jerk since I’m not compromising)
AITJ for not switching to a more visible swimsuit?
ETA: the neighbors DO have blinds – really nice wooden ones that my previous neighbors had built into the windows.
They have 4 backyard windows (I used to go over and feed the old neighbor’s dog when they were out of town for a day or two so I’m familiar with the layout) and only two windows (mostly one) give them any kind of view of my backyard.”
3. AITJ For Not Wanting My Friend, Who's A Bridesmaid, To Speak At My Wedding Anymore?
“I am having a few friends make speeches at my upcoming wedding, but one friend’s behavior has made me question whether her speech is appropriate.
We have a mixed-gendered wedding party and we wanted the dress-wear to be as seamless as possible. We sent a few images of a vision in terms of color and style. We asked our party to try to follow instructions the best they can, but most importantly, wear something that makes you feel amazing.
When it came time for dress shopping, this person was the first to find a dress. The outfit sent was not the color or style of the references sent. We asked if she could find a color that was close to the vision.
She replied no other colors were available and she went ahead a bought the dress as she felt confident in it. My fiance and I did not confront her as we know that she has some difficulties finding clothes that she feels good in and the dress made her feel amazing which, at the end of the day, is the most important thing to us.
Fast forward four months, my friend had asked to see what dresses girls on my partner’s side (who had followed the vision exactly) were wearing. When she saw it, she noted that she was going to stick out as her dress was so different and she felt as though I had deceived her.
I replied that we sent the same reference images to every girl at the party and reminded her that we asked her to get (at least a color) that was closer to the vision, but she had gone ahead with her dress all the same.
A few days later, I was still hurt over the comment that I had deceived her. When I contact her to express this, she stated that it was okay and she had found another solution. She told me that she was planning to go dress shopping with two other girls in the wedding party and try to get them to buy a dress that is closer in color and style to hers.
She said that she felt this would make my wedding more cohesive in its look. I was in shock and speechless, I told her I will need time to process what I heard.
It is one thing for her to decide to go outside our vision, but to bring others into it and dictate what is or is not ‘cohesive’ for our wedding really rubbed me the wrong way.
When we spoke again, I firmly told her to not influence what others wear and let everyone try to follow the vision sent. She had agreed, but would not apologize.
I am now left wondering, is it appropriate to have this person speak at our wedding?
It’s not about the dress, but more about the blatant disrespect, disregard, and unsupportive behavior that she demonstrated.
AITJ for canceling her wedding speech?”
2. WIBTJ If I Cancel On Prom?
“I (18M) asked a girl (17F) I’ve been decently close friends with for the past couple of years to my senior prom. She doesn’t actually go to the same school as me, but we’ve managed to stay in touch after she went to a private high school nearby after we finished middle school.
When I asked if she would like to go, she excitedly said yes, especially since her school doesn’t do proms. I was also really excited and was looking forward to taking her to it tomorrow night until an incident last night.
I play baseball for my high school and wasn’t paying close attention during some hitting drills that were going on. I was standing by first base talking to one of my teammates when I took a line drive foul ball to the eye.
It almost immediately swelled up and got taken to the hospital. I have a couple of small fractures split between my cheekbone and orbital bone, but luckily I should be okay without surgery.
Unfortunately, my eye keeps looking worse and worse and I’ve got a massive black eye.
I actually stayed home from school today because of the swelling and pain. No one has seen my eye yet and I am worried about the reaction I’ll get if I show up to prom tomorrow night with my eye looking like a plum, so I’m leaning towards not going.
I hate that I want to do this last minute and maybe if I could get my eye open and look less bruised I would be willing to go, but right now I am grossed out by my own reflection.
I don’t want to disappoint her, but I also don’t want to embarrass her by being her ugly date. She’s also a Junior too so she may have another chance at a prom. WIBTJ to cancel last minute?”
1. AITJ For Moving My Wife's Box Of Tampons?
“I was reorganizing the storage room the other day and came across a tampon box. The box was being kept behind some cleaning products in the cabinet so I removed it and put it on top of the counter so I could clean out the cabinet.
I resumed cleaning and put everything back except for the tampon box, I thought it didn’t belong there so I put it inside the bedroom and left it there.
At 1 pm my wife got home, went to the storage room then came back freaking out asking if I was there earlier.
I said yes I reorganized and cleaned the storage room and she got upset asking about her tampon box. I told her to relax. It’s in the bedroom inside one of the drawers. She rushed into the bedroom, stayed there for a few minutes then came back yelling at me for touching her stuff.
I asked what she meant by ‘touching her stuff’. I was just cleaning and came across the tampon box which I had no idea why it was there in the first place. She berated me about touching her stuff no matter what it is so she won’t have to go looking for it.
Then said I should’ve just left it as it is which to me, was ridiculous because she did not need it right then so what’s the big deal?
She got irritated and called me a jerk for arguing with her about it when I’m in the wrong.
I said no I do not think that what I did justifies her yelling at me because… it’s not like I threw the box away. She argued some then stormed off and is still upset about it til this very hour.
I get she’s big on privacy and not having her stuff touched but I think she overreacted.
AITJ here?
EDIT: The storage room is next to the bathroom.”
