People Tell Their Thought-Provoking "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
36. AITJ For Banning My Mother-In-Law From Our House Over A Picture?
“My husband (30) and I (31) have just bought our first house together, we’re loving it and we’re excited to decorate it together. Unfortunately, my husband travels a lot for work and we’ve already had new furniture orders arrive but I couldn’t do it all myself. My MIL (mother-in-law) offered to help and I agreed.
Yesterday, I got back from work at 8 and was shocked to see one of the walls was full of framed pictures that MIL put there. That is not the main problem because these pictures were from his childhood, graduation, and birthdays and then I saw the biggest framed picture of them all which is him and his ex on their wedding day (Context: MIL ‘adores’ my husband’s ex.
She brings her up all the time and reminisces about the past years with her. Not only that but she includes her in events and holidays which caused issues between us.) I lashed out at MIL, asking what she put that picture on the wall for and how she thought it was an appropriate thing to do.
I told her to take it down in that instance but she was defensive and said ‘This is part of Derek’s life and ‘you can not erase it’.’ Then went on about how many hours she spent working on this wall and how I should try to be a little bit more appreciative.
I lost my cool and flipped out on her. I removed the picture. She started arguing with me, asking what was wrong with me and calling me crazy. I told her to take the picture and leave but she tried to say that it wasn’t just the ex in that picture but my husband as well but I told her I’d throw it out if she won’t leave.
She left but started texting me saying stuff like jealous, bitter, overbearing, controlling, etc. I responded by telling her she disrespected me in my own home by what she did and proceeded to ban her from the house.
She called my husband and forwarded a screenshot of the ‘ban’. He called me and we talked. He then said his mom ought to know better but she didn’t and I was right to be angry but banning her from the house was an overreaction – like a crazy overreaction.
He tried to get me to call her and cancel the ban but I refused. He then ranted about how unfair I was being to make such a decision when it was our house, not just mine. The conversation got nowhere and am now waiting for him to get home to talk.
My in-laws are upset with me saying I went overboard with this reaction and urged me to let MIL back into the house and drop this whole thing like it never happened.
AITJ for banning after this?”
35. AITJ For Letting My Niece Stay With Me?
“I (29F) have grown rather distant from my family. They’re very religious and I am NOT so there was always some conflict there.
I moved out the second I was able to which resulted in me living over 100 miles away from them (may not seem a big deal to Americans but my Country is a lot smaller. LOL).
My oldest brother (43M) has a 16-year-old daughter, my niece who I am very close to.
She has always acted more like I’m an older sister than her aunt and she is one relative I’ve always made sure I have an open line of communication with as I see a lot of myself in her but even I was shocked when I came home from work two days ago and found her sitting at my door.
Turns out she’d gotten a bus to my home with no warning.
After I got her inside I began to question her on what was up. Turns out she’d had a big falling out with the family and it led to her running off. She asked me if she could stay with me as she didn’t want to go home.
I ended up phoning my brother to let him know she was here and safe and not missing. He demanded I put her on the first bus home in the morning but I refused telling him she doesn’t want to go home and is very upset right now wanting to stay with me.
He basically told me to get her home right away as she is not my child and this is none of my business. In my opinion, if your kid gets a bus and travels 100+ miles to get to me, it’s my business.
I ended up telling him I’ll send her home when she’s ready to go home and not before and that I simply hadn’t wanted them worrying.
In our country, it’s legal to leave home at 16 without your parents’ permission so I knew she’d be fine on that front. The issue is that since then various relatives have been calling at all hours demanding I send her home and ‘How dare I keep her away from the family’ and how I’m trying to isolate her to be like me.
Lots of fun things, she has settled into my guest room and seems in better spirits but clearly doesn’t want to leave yet, and frankly, the more they push the less inclined I am to give in.
I think I am doing what is best for her right now but I admit some relatives’ guilt tactics are starting to work.
I’m looking for opinions beyond my own here as I may be getting too closed in with them pushing. Should I be trying to bridge the gap and get her to go home or just letting her relax and destress?”
34. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Go To Her Sick Dad's Country For A Month?
“My ex and I got divorced three years ago.
He was a good father to our daughter (11F). But three years ago when my daughter was 8, he abruptly left with his affair partner, moving to an entirely new country and eventually having a baby with her. It was hard for my daughter, he didn’t really fight for custody, and the rights he did have like visitation he didn’t really exercise.
He went from being arguably her primary parent to short phone calls once a month ‘at best’.
He disclosed to me yesterday that a condition he’s had for most of his life has become terminal. I was obviously devastated on his behalf. He wants our daughter to come to his country for a month to stay with him and his wife.
I am immensely sympathetic towards his situation, I truly am. But my daughter has spent three years adjusting to not having her father in her life in a meaningful way. I also remarried recently so that’s been a huge adjustment. She’s developing a relationship with her new stepdad and new family members on his side.
I’m also 32 weeks pregnant. (important later)
Her dad has been ‘too busy’ to visit since the divorce. He’s made a few loose suggestions of taking her on 1:1 trips which I strongly encouraged but they’ve all died in the water because he’s just ‘too busy right now.’
If I’d asked my daughter before this if she wanted to visit with her dad, she’d say she did but she didn’t want to interact with his new family.
But obviously, that’s not really an option here. Of course, if I said this is the last time you’ll be able to see your dad, she’d jump on a plane.
I suggested closer to a week and my ex balked and said a week was practically nothing and cruel on my part, and brought up how much he’d done for her in the first 8 years of her life and said he deserved a longer goodbye.
But I’m not sure I can send my daughter to a strange country to spend a month with a father who bailed on her and a bunch of strangers. Even a week seems like a huge leap. He invited me to come but I reminded him I’m 32 weeks and can’t travel.
We don’t have any other family to act as a more neutral ‘chaperone.’ He can’t come here because his medical care is in his current location and of course, his current wife and child are there and I’m sure he doesn’t want to miss a minute with them either.
But he can’t just squeeze in our daughter where he can after not bothering to see her for three years.
And as I mentioned, this is a long-standing medical condition that he KNEW would shorten his life and was something of a ticking time bomb, so while I can understand having a change of heart, he knew this day was coming and still chose to de-prioritize his relationship with our daughter.”
33. AITJ For Not Refunding My Friend For The Tattoo I Gave Him?
“A few months ago I (M24) became a licensed tattoo artist. My friend (M22) wanted to be my first official customer for over a year. So far I‘ve tattooed on oranges, fake skin, pig skin, myself, and a few volunteers. I can say that my work is crisp.
My friend came to me and asked me to tattoo a very complicated butterfly on his chest. I thought ‘Wohoo… my first official tattoo and it’s a butterfly…’ For those who don’t know: most tattoo artists hate doing butterflies because they are very tedious and therefore can be way more expensive than what feels fair for their size.
Mentioning the size, the thing would cover his entire chest and part of his shoulders.
I asked him if he really wanted a butterfly and told him about how it would be more expensive than it looks, but he was fine with it. He said it would somehow represent his beautiful significant other.
He also wanted me to do the whole butterfly in one session. I told him it would be better if we did it in 2-3 sessions, but he was against it. I told him it was ok for me to do it in one session, but again: it would be a lot of money to pay at once on top of being a lot of irritation for the skin.
He was OK with that.
So I handed him the standard form you have to sign, made a stencil, and got to work. It took me 12 hours to finish the piece and it turned out absolutely beautiful. However, we had to take several breaks, especially towards the end because my friend just couldn’t take the pain anymore.
Towards the end, he even started shivering really hard, but he sat through it.
That being said 12 hours of tattooing is not cheap. The tattoo amounted to 2040€ (2245$). My friend was shocked. He asked me if I could give him a friend discount and I gave him a 170€ discount (one hour).
He paid me reluctantly.
I didn’t hear from him in a week and all of a sudden I got a call. He told me he doesn’t like the tattoo and that it was too feminine. To top it all off he either wants his money back or a free cover-up.
I told him that I asked him multiple times if he was sure about the tat and that I made many compromises for him because he’s my friend and even gave him a discount.
He insisted on either getting his money back or a free cover-up so I told him to get a grip and hung up.
After that I got a message to go screw myself and that he‘ll make sure to get his money back. I sent him a photo of the form he signed and told him ‘Good luck’.
AITJ?
Info: On some pieces, you just simply can’t give a reliable estimate and this was one of them.
I did however tell him it would definitely be more than 1.5k while doing the linework when I got a better understanding of how long it would take.
I generally don’t have a problem with doing long sessions, I simply wanted to split it up because of the payment.
He did know my hourly wage beforehand, I simply couldn’t tell him how long it would take.
We took several pauses so he could eat, drink and look at the tat (obviously I didn’t charge the time we were on pauses). He didn’t complain once about the design.”
32. AITJ For Insisting On Going To Europe To See My Significant Other?
“I (19F) am currently seeing someone (21M) living in Europe. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and have been in a long-distance relationship since he moved away for school last year. For my college spring break, I planned to visit him for a week. I have had everything set up: passport, housing, plane ticket, etc. However, I had yet to tell my parents until a few days ago.
I have been dropping hints recently about it, but for the most part, they have been dismissive.
For context, I live in a very strict Asian family. My mother believes that I will die at any given moment. For example, she moved near my college just to be near me and frequently gets upset when I don’t come home for the weekend.
My father, however, is a lot more neutral. I’ve been scared of telling them for a while because I knew that they would panic. My excuse for the trip was that I was going to be hanging out with my roommates in the apartment.
A few weeks before spring break, I went back home to do some grocery shopping and see my parents before I left. However, once I got there, my mother asked me to give her my passport to ‘prove’ that I was just staying in my apartment with my roommates for spring break.
In a panic, I texted my roommates and they hid my passport in a different room. Once my parents and I arrived at the apartment, they attempted to distract my mom in hopes that she would forget about the passport. Our plan failed and she asked for my passport right before she left. We went back and forth for a while, me trying to use the excuse that I had lost it.
Eventually, I caved and told her that I was planning to fly out to Europe. She started yelling at me and we argued for a couple minutes before she stormed out of the apartment.
Her main reasons as to why she didn’t want me to go were because I’m too ‘young and naive,’ and believes I will get kidnapped on my trip.
She’s afraid of things going wrong on the trip and thinks I’ll get lost in the airports despite the fact that I have done my research and have accounted for emergencies. This is not my first time flying, and I have taken all the risks into consideration before making the decision to fly out.
Also, this ticket is non-refundable and I don’t want to waste this money.
Now my mom is texting me and calling me constantly that she and my father haven’t been able to sleep for days and are begging me to not go. I have been constantly trying to please them my entire life, and this is the first time I’m making a decision for myself.
I want to be able to gain new experiences without my family trying to shelter me. It feels like my parents, primarily my mom, are stunting my growth due to them projecting their own fears of the world onto me. I recognize that they had their own traumatic experiences growing up, but it feels unfair that I have to sacrifice my own needs for them.
However, since my parents have been texting me saying they can’t sleep and are getting physically sick over my decision, I can’t help but feel guilty. So, AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Not Helping My Sister Find A Job?
“I (20m) have two younger siblings, ‘Joe’ and ‘Jill’. They’re twins, both 18 and graduating high school this year. Jill is my parents’ favorite because they’ve always wanted a daughter, while Joe is their scapegoat because I guess he’s the bonus baby they never actually asked for.
I’m mostly better off than Joe, as I’m the oldest grandson from both sides of my family, almost all of whom are just as blatant as my parents are about their favoritism.
I felt really bad for Joe, so I did what I could to make him feel less alone.
Like when Jill got to go shopping with Mommy and Daddy, I took Joe skating with my friends. When our parents were too busy watching Jill’s kiddie pageant, I dragged my best bud to sit through Joe’s elementary school musical. Small things like that. It all started as pity moves, but soon my friends pretty much liked Joe better than me, while Jill’s princess syndrome got in her head, so now I spend more time with Joe because I simply like him better than Jill.
Never said it out loud, but I don’t make it a secret either that I prefer not to spend my time with entitled brats.
Anyway, like I said they’re graduating soon. They both already had their choice of college, accommodation, etc. Jill’s going to a university in San Francisco, fully funded by our parents, unsurprisingly.
Joe’s going to the same university as mine in Seattle, but a different campus just 20ish minutes away. He got a full ride, which apparently makes him ineligible to get any financial help from his own parents. This is also hardly surprising, so I made some calls to ask around and see if anyone is hiring next fall.
I did this while on Facetime with Joe. I was reassuring him that we’ll find him a job that doesn’t suck and pays enough, that he’s better off without dad’s money anyway because we both know it comes with strings attached, that this way, Mom and Dad wouldn’t be able to stick their noses into his purchases.
I got him to feel better about the whole thing and logged off.
I guess Jill overheard because the next day she sent me text after text demanding I help her find jobs as well because she doesn’t want Dad ‘nagging her’. When I told her, politely by the way, that I don’t know anyone in San Francisco, and that she’d get more help from Mom and Dad.
She blew up, saying all these things about me favoring Joe over her, which, yeah. It’s true. I love both of my siblings, but I don’t particularly like Jill. It’s not like she’s making herself likable, though, so AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Leaving The Baby Shower My In-Laws Threw For Their Imaginary Grandson?
“I (f27) am expecting my first baby with my husband. This is the first grandchild in the family (in-laws) and they said that if the baby’s a boy then we’ll give him my FIL’s name (he’s dead due to cancer).
I had no problem with that.
This happened before we found out the gender of the baby – my husband and his family had me ‘do things’ like attend prayers and do other rituals before the reveal at the clinic. I didn’t like that but went with it to keep the peace.
The doctor’s appointment came, and it turned out to be a girl. My husband cried in the car then turned his phone off to hide from his family then finally told them. His mom and the others made their frustration & disappointment clear which bothered me cause my daughter deserves to be celebrated but they ghosted me for days then started coming over & visiting constantly referring to my daughter as my son claiming the results were false and basically pretending it’s a boy.
I had several fights with them after they refused to stop it, and my husband sided with them despite seeing how wrong and unreasonable what they were doing was. We didn’t speak for a while.
SIL called to apologize and then inform me she arranged a baby shower for me.
I was so excited and happy. But when I arrived I saw blue balloons and a blue cake with FIL’s name/decorations around. I was so confused I had to sit down. SIL explained they were ‘still’ hoping the gender results are false and it was a boy. I looked at my husband and he agreed with her.
I lost my temper and yelled at them all calling them delusional and telling them to stop treating my daughter like she’s unwanted and act like she doesn’t exist by throwing a party for ‘their imaginary grandson’. MIL broke down crying, I took my bag and walked out immediately.
They started yelling and my husband followed me outside and started arguing about how I insulted his family, and his dad’s memory by acting like that.
I told him to wake up and see the insanity in his family’s behavior. He said they needed time to process the fact that it’s a girl, not a boy as they expected and insisted I play along and ‘they’ll soon get over it’. I said absolutely not and demanded he take me home, he said no so I called an Uber and left. He was fuming he called 15 times, then texted that he won’t be coming home til I ‘get my butt’ over and apologize for ruining everything THEY’VE DONE FOR ME and accusing them of being mentally unstable.
I haven’t responded yet he’s constantly pressuring me to get right with his family before we even talk about anything else.”
29. AITJ For Wanting To Tell My Roommate I Don't Want To Do Her Any More Favors?
“So I (20s F) just moved in with my roommate (40s F) and her adult son. When I met her, I thought she was nice enough and I seemed to get along with her for the most part.
I signed the lease, gave deposit+first months, and moved in around a week later.
I’ve lived here for around three weeks and I’m starting to feel kind of stressed and creeped out. She doesn’t really get the hint that I’m introverted and like to be left alone a lot of the time.
I don’t use common areas, I just use the bathroom that I share with her son (not ideal, but that’s a different story.) She’ll knock on my door to tell me random things, and every time I leave the room to use the restroom or something she tries to find a way to talk to me.
I understand that she’s outgoing and likes to talk, and that’s okay in moderation. The thing that really gets to me though is the asking for favors.
It started in the first few days of living here… she asked me to pick her up something at the grocery store while I was working (I do delivery driving.) I was kind of annoyed because I deliver for pay and I wasn’t getting paid, but I grabbed the thing she needed anyway.
Asking for little favors has continued and it makes me uncomfortable because we don’t know each other very well. She even asked me for pee to pass her substance test (I felt weirded out and said I would send her an article on how to pass one.)
The biggest thing is she asked me to help clean her old apartment out knowing full well I have a badly sprained ankle and shouldn’t walk on it.
I said yes out of habit (kicking myself for that!) and had to text her just now explaining again that I need to stay off of my ankle and asked if I could help in a way that doesn’t have me walking around on an injury.
I really dislike confrontation and can’t help feeling like a jerk.
I can’t really tell if I am or not at this point.”
28. AITJ For Refusing To Buy Another Dress For One Of My Bridesmaids?
“I (f28) got engaged in late 2018 and planned to get married in mid-2020. Due to world events, the wedding was rescheduled to May this year. I invited 3 close friends and my soon-to-be SIL to be in my wedding party and paid for their dresses as well as any other associated costs.
Between 2019 when bridesmaid dresses were purchased and now, one bridesmaid ‘Jane’ had put on significant weight. In mid-2021, she started a fitness journey with the goal of getting back to her original weight.
In February 2022, Jane came to me and told me she couldn’t fit into her bridesmaid dress, and that she’d need a bigger dress.
Since it’d been 2 years since purchasing the dress, it obviously couldn’t be returned. She gave it back since, but the value had significantly decreased, especially since the dress was now discounted by the store itself. For your information, the bridesmaid dresses weren’t identical. We went with dresses that went well together/had a similar ‘vibe’.
I spoke to Jane and told her how much I’d hopefully make from selling the dress and told her I’d give her that amount to buy a new dress, but I wasn’t able to buy another one for her. She got upset and told me it wasn’t her fault she gained weight and couldn’t fit into the dress anymore and since I was the bride, I should pay for a new dress.
I told her that it wasn’t personal and I’d have the same response for anyone else.
I told her it didn’t have to be expensive, just had to fit the vibe or be somewhat similar to the old dress. I’m not a bridezilla or anything, so I didn’t care too much about what dress she chose to wear and offered to help her find a new dress within budget.
She said I was being an awful friend and shaming her for her weight. She said she couldn’t afford a new dress and said I had to pay for her dress or she couldn’t be in my wedding. I told her I couldn’t pay more than I was offering for a new dress, and I understood that she couldn’t be a bridesmaid and I hoped she’d be able to make it to the wedding as a guest. I tried wrapping it up but she wouldn’t leave.
She teared up and called me cheap for not paying for a bridesmaid dress since I’d paid for everyone else’s, and that if I really wanted ‘my friend’ there I’d actually make an effort and brought up how much we were spending for our wedding and how ‘an extra small purchase would be nothing’.
I won’t lie, this did upset me. I told her if she didn’t want to buy a new dress, the only other options were to not come or find a way to fit into the old dress. She broke down crying and ran out, and later told others in the bridal party that I’d told her that if she didn’t lose weight, I was going to kick her out of the bridal party.
Thankfully I’d already talked to them before this and they didn’t believe it, but now I’m getting pressure to buy her a new dress so we can just move on and get over it. I feel like, at this point, I’m unsure if I’m just being stubborn and a jerk, sticking to my decision and having a backbone, or both.
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Telling My Housemate To Stop Bringing Me Cups Of Tea?
“I moved into a house recently with a guy who I’d only known for a few months. Generally, it’s all okay but I’ve not had a housemate before and I’m wondering if I’m the problem.
The housemate is addicted to smoking every hour religiously.
(That’s fine, I don’t care – we have a garden). My problem is that when he smokes, he also has a cup of tea. If I’m around downstairs etc then I’m more than happy to accept offers and I will reciprocate. However, if I’m in my bedroom I don’t like being disturbed and I would’ve assumed a shut door would indicate that I want to be alone.
I never disturb him when he’s in his room with the door shut… but he is not the same with me. I found myself getting very anxious when I hear him opening his bedroom door because I know I’d be asked about a drink. I have always politely said no thank you, hoping he would get the hint but he didn’t.
It can be stifling sharing a house and sometimes I need time alone without being disturbed just to mentally recharge. I don’t know if everyone’s the same but I’ve always been like this.
This morning when he asked about the tea, I told him that I was fine thank you and if I was in my room with the door shut then I need a little space and would do my own thing.
I was very polite and friendly – told him it’s not personal but often I need time to myself. I hate confrontation and bad feelings but after a few weeks of this, I felt I couldn’t take anymore and would address it directly.
He told me he was only being friendly and that’s what housemates normally do.
(He’s lived with people before and I have not). I said again that I appreciated the thought but just to sort himself out with drinks and not to worry about me.
Now he’s mad – told me I was ungrateful, walked off, and hasn’t spoken to me for hours – I’ve been downstairs cleaning and he’s on his PlayStation refusing to acknowledge that I’m there.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Telling My Mom I Am Not A Free Babysitter?
“I have always taken care of my cousins before but this time I had enough.
At the time I was 9 years old. It was my birthday and I was turning 10. My cousins 5 and 8 were staying with my family for a while.
My mum had been nagging me on going to this fancy restaurant for my birthday but just having my father, my twin, her, and I there.
Well, my aunt had to fly out to my uncle and it was urgent so she was unable to take care of her kids so she sent them to us. We agreed to take care of them… by ‘we’ I mean I was left to care for them. My Grandma was available to take care of them as she is retired. Everything was fine, I was against taking care of them.
Finally, it was my birthday, I hadn’t opened any presents as we were going to open them at the restaurant. My mum didn’t want to take my cousins with us so she had to figure out what to do. I was really excited and put on a black and white polka-dotted dress (it was my favorite) and wore these black lace-up boots.
I was so excited for this birthday.
I ran to the front door only to be stopped by my mum. At this point, you know where this is going. She had asked me to look after my cousins at home while they went to the restaurant for MY birthday. Yes, it was my brother’s birthday as well but we’re twins!
My cousins even knew it was wrong but they didn’t care because they could hang out with me.
I don’t know what happened but I snapped. I told her I was not some free babysitter she could use whenever she wanted, if she wanted a babysitter she’d have to pay me.
My family stood there in shock. We ended up taking my cousins to the restaurant but I did not hear the end of it. I got about 3 lectures in the car on the way there. My cousin, Lily (5) got all my presents while my cousin, Sam (8) got a special birthday dessert.
I went home crying and refused to take care of my cousins or even talk to anyone for the next 1.5 weeks.
Am I the jerk? Are my family the jerks? Are we both jerks?”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting Another Person To Sit Next To Me On The Train?
“I (20sF) am on the train to head to the airport for work. It’s early morning, I am juggling a suitcase, laptop bag, handbag, breakfast, and coffee – and find a window seat on the train in the middle of a cabin, put all my stuff and coat on the seat/floor next to me, and start having breakfast.
The train is not empty, but certainly not busy, all the rows have one person sitting in it, generally in the window seat, while 80% of the aisle seats are free. About a minute before departure, a man comes in, walks through the cabin, and stops in front of me – asking to sit down.
I look confused but start moving things to free up space, sitting on top of my coat, knees almost in my ears to be able to squeeze my suitcase under my feet, put away the breakfast I won’t be able to have, and have my two bags on my lap.
The train has departed already, and the man is still standing there (instead of sitting down in the empty seat behind him). When he finally sits down next to me, I ask him: why this seat? The rest was empty and would have been easier and faster for both of us.
He then goes on a rant that people should not be occupying seats for stuff instead of people – and gets enraged when I say I agree if the train is busy, but in this case, it’s nearly empty…
It was an awkward rest of the trip, where I was very tempted to spill my coffee on him – but now I wonder if I was a jerk for my reaction.
Am I?”
24. AITJ For Not Wanting My Brother's Significant Other At My Graduation Party?
“A few weeks ago I (19F) learned that I get to walk for college commencement next week. I still have one class to take before I actually get my degrees so I’m considered a ‘summer graduate’. Because of this, I didn’t think I would get to walk for commencement.
I am getting two associate’s degrees, an Associate of Arts: Liberal Arts with an emphasis in math and science and an Associate of Science: Physics. I am a 2020 high school graduate so I didn’t get to walk for that graduation or have a party or any of those festivities.
So I’m really excited that I get to walk next week.
When my mom asked me who to invite to the party we were going to have I specifically told her not to invite my younger brother’s ‘significant other’ or her family. My younger brother (17M) has had a pseudo-relationship with the youth pastor’s daughter (19F) for about two years now.
They are both seniors in high school right now. His SO is in quotes because my brother isn’t allowed to go out with anyone until he’s 18. And I’m in denial that they will actually start going out when he turns 18 at the end of this month. They are both committed to the same small school in Texas.
My brother was dead set on a school in Los Angeles but after the girl said she was going to school in Texas, he suddenly changed his mind. My parents absolutely hate the girl and her parents. Especially her dad (42M). He’s manipulative and uses religion as a weapon for everything… and he’s the youth pastor at our church.
My beef with his SO is that when I was in high school and in the youth group, my ex had an affair with her. She then continued to serial date her way through the youth group. She also made up rumors that I got pregnant by the ex who had an affair.
I’ve gotten over the whole affair thing. What I haven’t gotten over is her making my life miserable at church. I am the coordinator for the livestream and she volunteered to help run the livestream. I spend countless Sundays training her and she is now constantly making up excuses to get out of running it on Sundays.
This includes but is not limited to: ‘I have family in town’ when no one is in town and ‘I have an ear infection and I’m feeling sick’ but then shows up to church anyways and participates in youth games and activities.
When the girl’s parents found out about the party from the church senior pastor and realized that they hadn’t been invited to the party, they complained to my brother.
My brother then asked me if he could bring her. I told him no. When he asked for a reason I said I don’t want to invite people who I don’t like to my party. Especially since her dad is constantly telling me women don’t belong in STEM.
I’m going to university to study mechanical engineering and minor in computer science. My brother told me I was being selfish and that I need to get over my problems with her family because she is going to be his significant other in a few weeks. AITJ for not inviting them?”
23. AITJ For Calling My Mother-In-Law A Needy Attention-Seeker?
“I (26F) and my husband, Danny (31M) have been in a relationship for around 6 years, married for 3. During all this time, MIL had been insufferable. His mother is IN LOVE with him. She is what you call an ’emotional i****t’ mum. She freaks me out. Not just that, but she’ll always call for Danny when we are out.
I’ll take our anniversary dinner as an example.
She messaged him, telling him she’d been in an accident and needed him home that instant. I was already confused because, if she was in a car accident, why was she home? I mentioned this to Danny at the time but he was too much in a rush to leave.
He didn’t think about it. We got there, and she was just sitting on the couch with her arms folded. Her excuse? ‘I missed my son, that’s all.’ It doesn’t make it any better that Danny is constantly on her side.
Anyways. It was my birthday last week. I, my husband, and a couple of close friends all went out to celebrate.
There was no family invited. Well, an hour into the party, Danny gets a call. It’s MIL. Danny asks her what’s wrong, then he nods and tells her he’ll ‘Be there in five minutes’. I stopped him and asked him what he was doing. Danny proceeds to tell me MIL has cut her thumb off and he needs to bring her to the hospital.
Here’s where I may be the jerk. I started screaming at him, telling him that MIL can’t be that needy to the point where she called her son over the actual ambulance. People were staring. He started to try and tell me ‘The ambulance won’t get there fast enough’. I told him, then she needs to drive herself, or have FIL take her.
He just shook his head and headed to the car. I had to take a cab since he took my car to get there. Danny messaged me later saying she did in fact cut half her finger off, but she wasn’t at her house. She was at a FRIEND’S HOUSE, for DRINKS.
That friend’s house is literally not even 10 minutes away from the hospital. The drive from my party to the nearest hospital was almost half an hour.
It has been a week since this and I was almost over it. But, MIL came over to the house today and told me I was an inconsiderate freak, and that I shouldn’t have embarrassed Danny in front of all our friends.
She said this in front of Danny. But he just nodded along. I told her she was a needy attention seeker, and that she needed to get herself together because her son is 31 years old and doesn’t always have time for his mother. He has other priorities. She told me, ‘You don’t know him the way I know him.’ My husband then told me when she left that I shouldn’t have spoken that way to his mother and she was right.
I ignored him and locked him out of our room. He is sleeping on the couch tonight.”
22. AITJ For Not Wanting My In-Laws To Live With Us?
“I (24F) met my husband (23M) when we were 15 and 16 in high school. We found out I was pregnant shortly after we started going out and I gave birth to our son at 17.
Since then our relationship was on a fast track and we got married at 21 after finishing school.
We bought a house last year and my in-laws have not been super supportive of our decisions. They made constant jokes about selling their house to move in with us and bringing my husband’s 2 siblings (both adults) with them since they lived with them full-time.
But it all changed when they tried to push us to buy a bigger and more expensive house than we wanted so that we had room for the family to come to visit and stay. My MIL kept showing my husband houses she liked and when he told her we were looking for something different she told him we had to ‘compromise for the family’.
They finally lost it on us when we told them we put an offer in on a house more than 7 hours away (which was in an area we planned to move to all along we just never told them) and they didn’t handle that well. Telling me I’m taking their son and grandchild away from them.
The offer went through and we moved in as soon as possible but had to deal with in-laws constantly coming to visit uninvited.
My MIL and SIL were showing up every weekend for months without calling in advance. My husband and I both tried to explain that we are constantly having to cancel weekend plans for their visits and canceling other friends and family visits because of them but they do not care.
Making my home their second home, not listening to our rules, and constantly undermining me in my own home. Finally, we told them if they didn’t call and ask in advance they would be turned away at the door and they stopped showing up.
2 weeks ago husband got a call from FIL saying that his job had laid him off and he would be short on expenses this month.
That’s when MIL took the phone and suggested this be the perfect time for them to come move closer to us. They were already looking to sell their home and they could all come to stay with us until FIL found a new job. We told them our home couldn’t accommodate 4 more people nor could we financially support them.
FIL insisted it wouldn’t be for long but he is very frugal and does not like to spend money unnecessarily and I feel like this is just an excuse to cut back on living expenses for them.
I also want my son to have room to grow and have room for a second child sometime in the next year or so.
My husband is in the middle and understands why I don’t want them moving in but at the same time thinks we shouldn’t turn our backs on his family. I am torn because I think I have solid arguments for why they shouldn’t but it’s my husband’s house too and I don’t want to upset him.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Being Mad At My Mom For Being Late To My Birthday Dinner?
“So it’s my (20f) birthday dinner and as I was waiting for people to start coming. My younger sister (16f) texted me my mom had said ‘I’m too tired. I’ll just show up in a few hours’. After that, I texted my mother and told her ‘Don’t bother showing up.
Clearly, you don’t want to come’. She was the one supposed to drive my sisters (16f) and (13f) along with my brother, my niece, and my cousins and auntie.
I was already hurt that she had forgotten my birthday and was only reminded by my grandmother.
I ended up going to pick up my sisters and the rest of my family, most of them don’t drive.
I had to make 3 trips since I only have a car.
My mom continued to sleep, ignoring all calls and texts.
Dinner time came around and we all ate and gave time for dinner to settle. Opened my gifts, and my grandmother went to get the cake ready.
My mother opened the door and said ‘Oh good I didn’t miss everything,’ and came to sit down.
I knew that I was very hurt and annoyed with her and I had meant what I had texted her, ‘Get out,’ I tell her.
She looks at me confused. ‘What,’ looking at everyone else.
‘I told you not to bother coming if you weren’t going to come on time’.
I breathed trying not to lose my mind, after all there were kids in the room.
‘Oh don’t be like that, I just wanted to finish my nap,’ she says.
‘No, get out. I don’t want you here. You promised you would be here at 4, you told me you would pick up everyone and the cake!’ (my grandpa had started baking a cake when I went to pick people up)
My voice raised ‘Just leave, you’re good at doing that’ (she left me in my grandmother’s care from age 7 till age 17).
She bursts into tears and walks out sobbing about how ungrateful I am. My brother (22m) stands up. ‘God (my name) why do you need to be so dramatic!’ As he ran out to comfort our mother.
My grandmother sighed and told me ‘I know she hurt you, but that was immature honey’. I got up and told everyone I was leaving. Nobody stopped me, but as I walked to my car, I saw my mother crying and saying stuff I couldn’t understand.
I got in my car and drove home, my brother, sisters, and aunt along with cousins were messaging me for the next while saying I should apologize to my mother, that I was out of line for what I said.
I don’t think I’m in the wrong but most of my family is telling me I was a jerk and was overdramatic.
So am I?
My mother doesn’t work or do any household chores. She just stays in her room calling her friends, or out at the pub. She isn’t diagnosed with any mental health problems. She is always there for my siblings or her grandchildren.”
20. AITJ For Being Mad At My Friends Over A Prank?
“So, I’m 18m, and my friends are practical jokers. When they come over, they hide things like my batteries for my electronics, or they put my Airpods in two different places, or they replace the silverware in my cabinet with plastic ware, which is annoying but whatever.
A couple of times we’ll go out to eat, and they all say ‘welp I forgot my wallet’ after getting stupid expensive food, and I have to pay.
A little while ago, I couldn’t find my cat, and I was frantically looking around before they were like, ‘Ahaha, it’s just a prank bro’ and opened my cup cabinet to let him out. I told them one more prank, and I’m cutting them out, and they were like, ‘Relax it’s just a prank bro’.
I’m a DC nerd, and I couldn’t wait to go see The Batman. One of my friends said they were getting everyone tickets and food, and not to worry cuz it was covered. I brought my wallet just in case. We got there, and I was the only one who he didn’t buy a ticket for.
They all started making a loud scene, laughing and stuff, and it was really embarrassing. I went to get a ticket, but they were all sold out. I started crying from embarrassment a little, and that set them off even more, pointing at me and calling me a crybaby. I left and went home and just ate ice cream and felt bad for myself.
I was gonna forgive and forget, but in every group chat that I shared with them, senior group chat, work chat, and friend group chat, they had uploaded vids of me crying in the theatre with the caption ‘cry baby’ so I decided I was done and just sent them all a text that said ‘I ain’t doin it no more’ and blocked them on everything.
They, of course, started in with ‘it’s just a prank dude, don’t be so sensitive’ but I was done.
One mutual friend who isn’t really in our group said it was a bit much to completely cut them out because it was just a dumb prank, and that they rely on me sometimes for food and gas money.
I said no, they completely embarrassed me in front of strangers and our ENTIRE GRADUATING CLASS. Some of their pranks even tip to being dangerous.
I’m tired of their nonsense, but this is causing a lot of drama, and it was just a dumb prank. Am I the jerk?”
19. AITJ For Excluding A Nephew From A Disney Trip?
“I (27M) have 5 sisters and one brother. (I am a triplet with one sister and one brother.)
My twin brother got his now wife pregnant when they were 18. The baby passed away due to lung and heart issues. They were devastated and soon got pregnant again when they 19.
Now due to their first baby passing away, they have become extremely paranoid over the tiniest things.
I think this kid is going to have a miserable life. He’s literally not allowed to do anything. His parents have made lists.
Like he can’t play sports, he can’t go into cars unless he absolutely 100% needs to, and can only eat certain healthy foods.
Now me and my sister have a deep connection.
We’ve always spent time together while our brother chose to focus on studying and stuff. We’re both tattoo artists and live together.
Now before I can continue on with this story I have to add that my SIL doesn’t like me and my sister. She thinks we picked stupid career paths and are going to get nowhere in life.
She also doesn’t like us because we make fun of how overprotective she is over her son.
We were at a barbecue and like always we were going to play football together. Right as we were about to play my SIL proceeded to say that her son wasn’t going to play without protective gear.
So me and my sister dressed him up with 2 helmets, a bunch of padding, and some stupid wrestling gloves. He could barely move. Everyone laughed and made fun of him while my sister and I cracked jokes saying things like ‘At least he’s protected.’
I and my sister have been saving up for a trip to Disney for all of our nephews since we are both child-free and know how stressful kids can be.
My sister and I talked about everything and decided not to take my brother’s son because we didn’t want to have to follow the mandatory lists and make healthy food every day for only him. The funds we saved would cover plane tickets, fast food, gas prices, and the villa we rented. We would watch them for an entire week while our in-laws and siblings got to rest.
Me and my sister sent the tickets to all of our siblings except my brother. All of my siblings posted pictures of the ticket saying they were so excited, etc.
My sister got a call from our brother who wanted to know why his son didn’t get a ticket.
So she straight up told him all the reasons why. Like the list saying what he can and cannot eat, what he can and cannot do. Also, he wouldn’t be allowed to go on any rides because something bad might happen and I and my sister want to go on all the rides.
My SIL is saying we are discriminating against him because of his needs. My SIL is also saying he’s going to feel left out because of the way me and my sister are treating him. So AITJ?
He doesn’t have any actual health issues. Literally nothing. Not even allergies.
Also, I know the football thing was overkill and we have apologized for that.”
18. AITJ For Not Paying For Half Of My Son's Disney Ticket?
“My ex and I split the costs for our son. If one of us takes him shopping for school supplies the other sends half the bill. We split his fees for art class and pay for half of all supplies (why are colored pencils so expensive).
If one of us takes him clothes shopping the other gets half the bill. Everything is 50/50. We also have alternating weeks, but in the summer I get 4 weeks and she gets four weeks.
My ex just sent me a bill for half of my son’s portion of her family vacation.
I immediately called and said I am under no circumstances paying for that. I’m not subsidizing their vacation. I don’t ask her to chip in for my vacations. My ex said that’s because I take our son camping and other cheap activities, and asking for such a paltry sum would be petty, but theme park tickets are expensive.
She said I need to pay for half his ticket at the very least.
I said no. I didn’t tell them to go to Disney. If I’m going to buy a Disney ticket, I’ll buy two and take him myself. I’m not paying for their vacation, full stop. It’s also ridiculous she thought I’d chip in for their hotel.
It’s no more expense with my son there than it would be without, lodging-wise. We went back and forth, and eventually, she gave up. Her parting jab was that her husband might make her reschedule the trip to fall during my custody time. I said fine, I’ll take him myself in a few years when he’s old enough to enjoy everything.
I’m still steamed and told my sister. My sister says I am a jerk because going to Disney is way more expensive than camping, and why should my ex and her husband have to shoulder that cost alone? I said because it’s their vacation and their idea. If my son told me he wanted to go to Disney, I would take him, but I would stay at a cheaper hotel and wait until he’s old enough to really enjoy everything.
It feels like this trip is more for the benefit of her stepkids and my son is just being tacked on. That’s fine, but I’m not paying for that.
Am I being a jerk?”
17. AITJ For Getting Matching Tattoos With My Brothers?
“My (25M) brothers (27 Matt and 23 Mike) and I are all really close. Always have been. Our parents got divorced when we were pretty young and my mom remarried ‘Jeff’ when I was 8.
Jeff has a son ‘Jake’ who is 24. Jake is fine, but we’ve just never really clicked. I don’t want to trash talk the guy but he’s just not the type of person I’d be friends with, we don’t really have much in common but can get along just fine. The same goes for the rest of us and him.
After the divorce we lived at my dad’s about 50/50 at first til high school when we switched to being at our dad’s house about 75% of the time due to the school district being better there and just generally liking living with him more.
A few months ago I and my brothers were all celebrating Mike’s college graduation and tattoos came up.
I and Matt each had a couple already whereas Mike likes the idea of them but just never had something he wanted. That night, while wasted, we decided to all get a matching tattoo based on something we all love, don’t want to say here for anonymity reasons. While sober we reaffirmed that we all still want to go through with it and a few weeks ago we all went in together and got them done.
I’m very happy with how it turned out.
Last weekend we were at my mom’s house for an Independence Day cookout when Jake heard us talking about the recovery process. He thought it was interesting we all had fresh tattoos when Mike said something about how we got matching brother ones.
Jake acted kind of awkward but didn’t make too much of a scene about it. Well, last night I’m at my mom’s house helping her with some home improvement stuff when she brings the tattoo thing up. She said it was really cruel of us to leave him out but I mentioned a few things 1) The tattoo is about something we all have in common that doesn’t apply to Jake 2) We’re just not close/don’t feel the need to have a matching tattoo with him and finally 3) He’s made comments in the past about thinking tattoos are dumb and how everyone has them these days to be conformists.
I told my mom this but she said Jake is really mad about it and her husband basically called us all huge jerks for it. I mentioned it in my group chat with my brothers and they think he’s just being dramatic which I also kind of feel like but part of me does feel a little bad.
At the same time, I just don’t think I would want a matching one with him so I’m feeling conflicted about it.”
16. AITJ For Becoming An Atheist?
“I (18F) grew up as a religious Muslim. I did most if not all of the traditional practices like wearing a hijab when I turned 9 and began fasting when I was 10-11.
Growing up I blindly followed what my family did since I was taught to just follow whatever my family would do. My parents were especially keen on Islamic beliefs and went out of their way to make sure the rest of the family also became religious. I began to realize that I never genuinely believed in Allah and although I respected and still respect the beliefs and the people who do believe in it everybody blew up at me when I talked about becoming an atheist.
I had explained to my mum that I felt it was worse for me to continue claiming that I am a Muslim and practicing it when it was half-hearted and done blindly but she began fuming and resorted to violence. She yelled that if I was going to think like this I should just leave the house.
I didn’t think she would react this badly so I never made a plan for if this would happen but it was clear that she was visibly repulsed seeing me.
I packed my things and called a very close friend of mine to ask if I could stay over thankfully she said yes and I told her and her mother about what happened. A couple of weeks later I come out of the shower seeing my phone with a bunch of notifications from my family.
They asked me to come back and said that I could stay with them again if I take back what I said. I answered the one call from my mum where she was crying and blaming me for making her feel bad. She also said that I ruined the family by leaving and now all of the aunties are talking trash about our family and making fun of my mum for not raising me right.
I don’t see how anything is my fault and want to know if it is.”
15. AITJ For Having An Anxiety Attack During A Funeral?
“I suffer from psychosis and agoraphobia (a fear of leaving environments I know or consider to be safe). The psychosis manifests with auditory and visual hallucinations, including ghosts. There are tons more symptoms, but those are the relevant ones.
A few days ago it was my husband’s granddad’s funeral. He was a lovely old guy and I miss him dearly. I love my in-laws like b***d and obviously attended the funeral. I struggle so much being out with the hallucinations and never leave the house but I forced myself to go to this to support my husband, who really really wanted me there.
As we were driving in the limo behind the hearse I saw ‘ghosts’ everywhere, beside graves, screaming, crying everything. I started panicking and crying profusely. When we got there everyone was super supportive, assuming it was grief. When I explained and apologized saying it was my mental health people were silent or sort of eye-rolled and moved on.
I made it through the ceremony basically by staring at the floor and white-knuckling it.
We get to the wake, literally two minutes down the road and I think I dissociated for a while because maybe half an hour later I realize I’m staring at a wall and have been for a long time.
I look around for my husband and can’t find him. I start seeing vivid hallucinations and start panicking. It turns into a full meltdown, sobbing and unable to breathe. My MIL was an Angel and bundled me up, taking me home.
Since then I’ve been told the group chats are blowing up about how I had to be the center of attention and that it was really disrespectful and if I was that bad I should have stayed home.
I have now gotten into an argument with three family members who say I should have stayed home and let everyone grieve in peace. Now I feel like I was selfish going just to say my own goodbyes and ruining it for the rest of them. AITJ?
Edit- I would like to clarify Psychosis is not inherently a schizophrenic disorder.
I am in treatment for this and have been since it started. At this stage, medication has not been considered as it is not likely to be helpful to my episodes. I can’t just be institutionalized or ‘just take meds’ as it is unhelpful.”
14. AITJ For Wearing Headphones At My Brother's Wedding?
“I (15M) have quite severe autism in terms of sensory needs.
There are quite a lot of clothes I can’t wear at all, and suits just happen to be one of them. Loud music is also way too much for me sometimes, so I bring noise cancellers for myself if I need them.
My brother (28M) got married on the weekend and the dress code for men was a black suit with a red tie.
However, for me he said it’s fine if I don’t wear a suit and bring headphones, just look formal and don’t show up in any of the professional photography. So I did what he said! Easy, right?
Apparently not! My SIL (31F) and her family were talking to me about how what I was wearing was completely inappropriate (it was a white polo and jeans, which doesn’t sound professional I know but I tried) and how I was embarrassing his side of the family completely.
SIL knows I have autism too and struggle with clothing sometimes. She told me I should have asked her first too, and I realize she’s probably right but I thought my brother would have considered both of them when telling me it was ok.
Later in the night, SIL was very wasted and started shouting at me to take my headphones off because it was completely disrespectful for me to have them on when everyone was dancing to the music.
Again, I thought that my brother brought this up to her so instead of explaining, I just waited outside for it to be over.
The next day, I heard her and my brother arguing about it and now I feel really guilty. I know I probably couldn’t handle it for ALL of the wedding but I feel like a jerk, and that I should have at least tried with the suit and music.
AITJ for not wearing the suit and bringing my noise cancellers? Especially if it’s caused this much of a rift the day after they got married.”
13. AITJ For Buying Clothes And Shoes For Myself?
“My (36F) partner (43M) has been annoyed at me recently for spending a lot on shoes, purses, dresses, jewelry, etc. I work full-time and have a second part-time job for fun, he has two part-time jobs that add up to about 10-15 hours a week in total.
I pay 3/4th of all the bills plus all unexpected expenses, which doesn’t bother me since I do make a lot more. He can barely cover his 1/4th and sometimes skips paying because he doesn’t have enough. Bad things happen and I cover his share during those times.
I lost a metric ton of weight and needed to buy a whole new wardrobe.
With new clothes comes the need for accessories obviously, so I’ve been finding stuff I like and purchasing that too.
I always make sure the bills are paid, the car has a full tank, the fridge is stocked, the birds and child are taken care of and some funds go into an emergency fund just in case.
In my mind, the money that is left is mine to spend however I like. I work 45 hours a week in a highly specialized niche job that took a literal decade of studying to get the required knowledge. Meanwhile, my SO refuses jobs because ‘it sounds boring’ or ‘I don’t want to be on the phone all day’.
But now he’s been making me feel bad for buying shoes and purses because he doesn’t have the budget to spend on frivolous things. There’s nothing that needs attention right now (last month the outside of the house needed new paint so obviously I didn’t buy shoes but paid the painters) and I feel like I should be allowed to spend my money on things I enjoy.
We have kept our finances separate by the way, and even though it’s our house the mortgage is in my name only. He wires his share to me every month and I use it for groceries and internet and Netflix and such.
AITJ for buying clothes and shoes?”
12. AITJ For Calling The Police Because I Got Worried About My Friend?
“I was texting my friend for a while leading up to when I called the police.
My friend and I were messaging each other until all of a sudden they send a text saying ‘My lights keep flickering… CALL THE COPS’. No context whatsoever. At this point, I think it’s an emergency and something is actually happening and I call them. No response. I text them.
Still no response. I proceed to try and call them 2 more times and text them once more but they still don’t pick up or answer. At this point, I’m worried that something has already happened and I proceed to call the police.
As I’m on the phone with the police I finally get an answer but at that point, I had already told the officer the address and the individual’s name along with the other people who resided with them.
I get off the phone with the police and the friend tells me that there was nothing wrong. And I explain that I thought they were in danger because they weren’t picking up the phone and weren’t responding to the texts I sent.
After that, I call emergency services again hoping that I can tell them that the individual I called to check on is alright and they responded to me after a few minutes.
A few minutes later I receive a phone call from the individual’s phone and it’s their mother. I already know that I’m gonna get chewed out and I try to explain what happened about the text and how I thought the household was in danger. Long story short I’m to never call the cops to their house and I believe something is happening to call the mother first.
At that point I just decided to call it quits cause I ended up being the bad guy in the situation and went to bed only to wake up to a text from my friend saying ‘You’re really a piece of work for what you did and you know exactly what you were doing’ and I don’t know what to do.”
11. AITJ For How I'm Planning My Birthday Party?
“My parents divorced when I (16F) was 5, my mom remarried three years later to Mark. He had a daughter from a previous relationship, Julianna (16F). She’s in a wheelchair. My dad never remarried nor had more kids.
My relationship with my mom and step-family is rocky, to say the least, both my mom and step-dad have pushed Julianna and her necessities so much to me to the point I don’t like doing anything with her, at all.
Everything I do or want HAS to be Julianna-friendly or else I’m being selfish, a bad kid, a bad ‘sister’. Every friend I have over has to be OK with me sharing our time with Julianna, and until I was 13, everything my dad or paternal family gave had to be shared with her.
I won’t lie, she used to be super awful, but now she’s okay-ish, has her own friends, and doesn’t mind me that much, but I don’t want to fix the relationship at all.
She had her birthday party in February. My mom and stepdad hosted it in a big venue, had a lot of fun stuff, lots of food, and a big cake featuring cinnamon rolls and I was forced to attend; for mine, my dad and paternal family are hosting it at my grandad’s farm next Saturday.
It doesn’t really have a theme, but I want an ‘explain something you really know/like’ like an anime, a theory, a TikTok, and even my grandad is participating!
My mom didn’t like it because 1. my grands have a pool and Julianna ‘can’t swim’, 2. No friend of Julianna is invited, 3.
They think the ‘defend something’ is stupid because I’m explaining a JJK villain that they don’t ‘approve’. They say the least I could do is host it on the side that doesn’t have a pool and choose another theme, I said no because it was MY party, but they said I was being mean and it should be more wheelchair-friendly like ‘I’ve always had’ and I said I didn’t care because this wasn’t about Julianna.
I asked my dad to pick me up early and I texted my mom saying that if they felt that way about my party, then they shouldn’t come.
She called my dad to fight, but my dad didn’t engage and I don’t really know what they talked about. My mom wants me to apologize to my stepdad and Julianna before my party so we can all ‘enjoy.'”
10. AITJ For Telling On My Sister For Stealing My Work?
“My (17M) sister (16F) and I attend the same school. Neither of us is an A+ student, but I do much better than her. It’s important to add that I’m a digital artist, involved with the artist community on social media. I’m not big, I mostly do it for fun.
People like me usually create their own characters (based on manga, tv shows, books, etc) and then do their stories, sometimes you do them with a friend.
For English class last year, we had to do a short (10-page) story about something fictional. The point was to show the level of language, creativity, and fluency we had.
I used one of the things I did with a friend and re-wrote it for the class. I used our own characters with a post-apocalyptical plot and I got an A+ because the teacher really liked it. I never told my family because they really don’t care that much about that and only about our grades.
Now, my sister asked for my help since she got the same assignment. I gave her a few tips and corrected some of the things she gave me to read. I also sent her some messages about her assignment, like some examples, and some pics of the scenarios she wanted with short explanations and this helped me a lot.
I thought she did her own thing but she didn’t. We both were called yesterday because she STOLE my work. She told the teacher and the principal that I let her take it and I even sent it through telegram (which I didn’t). We were both gonna get punished, but I showed the messages I did send to help her and this caused her to confess.
Our parents were called, things got messy and she got expelled.
She’s been crying all day, and my dad supports me 100% because what she did was awfully wrong and it could’ve cost me my high school. On the other hand, my mom is MAD at me, she said I should’ve helped my sister and called me vindictive because ‘she’s smart’ and I only know how to write stuff.
She said I should’ve protected her and now I’m wondering if I did anything wrong.”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mother-In-Law To Host My Daughter's Birthday Party?
“My daughter turns three in a few weeks and her birthday lands on a holiday weekend. My husband and I are taking our daughter out of town on her actual birthday and the day before I planned on doing pizza and cake at our house for extended family.
My husband works that day as well as the day before but we decided the day before her birthday was fine to invite extended family for pizza and cake. I’m inviting my parents, my husband’s parents, a few siblings, and some of my daughter’s friends/mom-dad friends.
I contacted MIL today to let her know which day I had decided on and the time that worked (after a nap).
She immediately responded with ‘I would like to host her party at my house for my side of the family. My first thought was I’m not inviting your entire side of the family (20 plus people) I’m only inviting grandparents, some aunts and uncles, and close friends. I’m not inviting people we see maybe 1-3 times a year.
I also invited my daughter’s cousin’s mom (she and my BIL split up recently but we’re close and the girls are close) and MIL also doesn’t want her at the party.
It seems like she’s not happy with me inviting my own family and friends, or hosting my own daughter’s birthday.
I told MIL that we’re only doing one extended family cake/mini party. She has been calling my husband to let him know that I’m being difficult and that we should cancel our trip on her actual birthday and allow her to host a party for only her family on that day (the day after the party I planned).
I am very close to saying screw this she doesn’t have to come at all. It’s gotten to the point that I dread my daughter’s birthday because any plans I make she wants to crap on them and make her own plans.”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting People To Think My Daughter Is A Liar?
“I am in my late 50s and have several children.
My second oldest, S, is in their early 20s. My neighborhood is very friendly, and someone is basically having a get-together every week. I was talking with the hosts when a close friend approached me and said she needed to talk to me urgently.
I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first, saying things like the importance of being open-minded and tolerant – but after several iterations, it became more clear: S was telling people that I had kicked them out because of their identity as part of the LGBT community.
I didn’t believe this at first because 1) S had never mentioned anything like this, and 2) I was still paying for all of S’s things and S is living at home after graduating college.
My friend then showed me S’s social media posts, where many people were congratulating S on their bravery and empathizing with dealing with discriminative parents.
As a mother, there is nothing worse imaginable than my child getting hurt. I have read many terrifying stories of people suffering heavily from cyberbullying and social media scandals. I knew people would quickly find out that S had lied (we have frequent houseguests and well-meaning but nosy neighbors, and I couldn’t guarantee that my other children wouldn’t get upset and expose S on social media), so I asked our maid for the contact of her brother who runs a moving company, and had all of S’s things put on the sidewalk, then changed the password (all the doors of the house have a digital lock).
In short, I made what S said ‘true.’
A few hours later, S messaged me furiously, demanding to know what I was thinking. I said that I didn’t want to make a liar of S, so I kicked them out like they had told everyone.
S started screaming and crying that I was a jerk and that was different.
Did I make a mistake?
In the spirit of full disclosure, I am not on the autism spectrum, but due to an incident in my childhood that left me with severe physical and mental trauma, I have had issues with appropriate social etiquette in the past and understanding norms. This is part of why I think I made the wrong decision.
And yes, S does go to therapy and has been going for years since middle school on their request (we started because S said they were feeling anxious about becoming an adult).”
7. AITJ For Hiding My Belongings From My Roommate Who Was Leaving And Known For Stealing?
“A few days ago my roommate decided she wanted to leave school so she went home and said she’d be back in a few days to get all of her things.
Nothing wrong with that, I know college isn’t for everyone, and not all schools are right for everyone, etc.
Anyway, earlier today she came back to get her things and I knew that there would be stuff she would try to steal.
For example, I have a blanket my grandma made me that we keep on the couch, and she tells everyone it’s hers.
Also, the four of us split food costs four ways even though she would eat almost all of it. Plus there was a pillow I bought at Target that I really like, and she would keep it in her bed and use it all the time.
So when she texted that she was ten minutes away from here, I hid my blanket, my pillow, and all of our food in my closet behind some empty suitcases.
(The last round of food she didn’t even pay for because she wasn’t here).
When she got here the first thing she looked for was food. When she noticed there was none I told her that we ate the last of it and didn’t go to buy more yet.
This had her enraged and she started screaming that we ate all of ‘her food’ even though she didn’t even pay for the last round of food.
She then demanded that we all Venmo her a certain amount for the food she missed out on when she left. My other two roommates reluctantly agreed, but I put my foot down and said I wouldn’t pay her for something that wasn’t hers in the first place, especially since we’ve been basically paying for 3/4s of what she already ate here.
Her mom was there too so she quickly de-escalated the situation after I said that, and so the roommate decided to let it go and pack the rest of her things. Two things she realized were missing were my blanket and my pillow. She asked about where they were and I told her I put them in my car because they were mine and I knew she would try to take them.
She didn’t say anything because her mom was right there, but I could tell from her face that she was fuming.
Now I’m guessing she just got back home because now she’s texting me nonstop saying I owe her money and that I’m a jerk for hiding things that were mine even though she wanted them.
My roommates are also saying I could’ve been nicer so as to not embarrass her in front of her mom.
So I’m pretty sure I’m not, but AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Offering To Host Family Visitors To Spare My Overwhelmed Sister-In-Law?
“My husband and I (men in our late 20s) recently had a baby. My husband’s sister and her husband also did.
There was some slight tension at the beginning of both of these pregnancies. Our family knew about our journey with surrogacy. Obviously, everything is planned in advance, so they knew when the pregnancy would begin. When my SIL and BIL announced their own pregnancy about two weeks after we celebrated our successful embryo transfer, we were a little annoyed. We kept this annoyance to ourselves in order to not rock the boat, and we knew it was irrational.
Now that our children have been born (ours a boy, theirs a girl), we’re having two very different experiences. It feels like all my SIL does is complain, especially about the barrage of guests that have come to visit them now that they’re home from the hospital. I understand that she’s recovering, but these guests aren’t requesting extravagant home-cooked meals or 10/10 hosting skills.
They’re coming over to spend time with the baby. In my experience, our guests have offered to do things for us in order to make life a little easier. They see some dirty dishes in the sink and they’ll load the dishwasher for us, they’ll take out the trash, etc. Even if they didn’t do this, I still love spending time with my husband’s family.
But for context, these are not overbearing, hard guests.
At a little family gathering this weekend (that I’m sure my SIL will complain about later), I overheard that my husband’s aunt and uncle were interested in dropping by their house for another visit soon. I saw the look on my SIL’s face, so I jumped in and said that SIL is starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the visits, but that my husband and I would love to host them again.
They agreed, hugged us for our generosity in opening our home to them, and moved on.
My SIL later pulled me aside and gave me an earful about how that wasn’t my place to step in and that I made her look bad.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Wanting My Sister To Pick A Different Name For Her Baby?
“My sister ‘Penny’ is pregnant with her second baby, another boy, and will have the baby in mid-November most likely. I am so happy for her and have been helping her with everything as she is having some mild complications and has been advised to rest.
Her first boy’s name is ‘Neon’. When she announced this name those many years ago a lot of people in the family disapproved and suggested she picks a different name. Well, she did not listen, and now her kid is stuck with that name.
Neon is still a cute name as to what she has come up with now: ‘Green’.
I was the first one she told this to and I immediately told her that it is not cute or unique, it is just weird.
BIL is also on board with her, they are made for each other.
She did not heed my advice and has started crocheting beanies and tiny sweaters for the baby with the name ‘Green’ on them.
I tried to subtly give her (& BIL) actually unique names for boys but none of them batted an eye.
So I decided to make a small post on a social media forum about baby names, and the comments were just riveting. There was some actually good advice in there and a lot of mean comments but I filtered those out and sent her the respectful comments, and she flipped out.
She started saying that I published her unique name to the world, but now others will also copy this name (very delusional) and it will not remain unique anymore. I told her nobody wants that name because it is not a name and is so very weird.
Then she went on to find that post I made and saw the mean comments and started crying (BIL called me and yelled).
Now they are telling everyone what I did and I am getting a divided response. Some are telling me I did absolutely right as that is a ridiculous name, others are telling me I had no business doing what I did.
So, AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Making My Classmate's Significant Other Replace My Sandwich?
“I (14f) am in high school. I’m a freshman.
It’s the third week of the school year and I buy my own breakfast every day. Normally I get some kind of sandwich and eat half of it for breakfast, and the other half for lunch. Today I decided I would splurge a little bit and I bought a chopped cheese and a juice, and a 3 pack of butter cookies.
I ate half of it this morning and was going to eat the other half for lunch. But I was sitting at the lunch table with a few of my classmates.
One of my classmates had brought her significant other. She’s a junior and he’s a senior. And I hadn’t eaten the other half of my sandwich and he kept bothering me.
He kept asking me for a cookie, a waterfall of my drink, or a part of my sandwich. He’s trying to steal my food away from me while I’m not looking, and then playing it off as a joke when I catch him. I looked away for one second because I was laughing and I look over and he was eating one of my cookies that I hadn’t opened yet.
So got mad and took the pack away and told him to stop touching my stuff. I kept telling him to stop touching my stuff, and he kept trying to take it. I even told my classmate to get him and she laughed and told him to knock it off.
Then I looked away again, and I turned back around and he was eating the other half of my sandwich. So I got mad and yelled at him, and I told him ‘Stop touching my food.’ And I was so angry about it, and I went off on him saying that he had no right to eat my food and that I want him to replace my sandwich.
A teacher then came over to ask what the problem was, so I explained. And the teacher told him to either hand her some coins so that way she could run and get me a new sandwich. He either buys me a new sandwich after school, or they go to the principal and they have a talk with his parents.
So he gives her the coins to get me a new sandwich.
My classmate then told me how I was a jerk, that I was overreacting, and that it was just a sandwich. So I told her ‘We don’t go on lunch until 1. We have 47 minutes to eat and I have to make my food last until I go home.
We get out at 3:10, and I don’t get home until 4:10 because of the bus and traffic. So it’s more than a sandwich to me. That is my meal for the day until I go home, and I’m on a budget.’ She then left me alone and spoke loudly to her friends about how it wasn’t that serious.
So AITJ for yelling at her significant other?”
3. AITJ For Publicly Denying My Trans Son's Fictional Depiction Of Us In His Autobiographical Play?
“My husband (61M) and I (57F) have three children, Brad (24 female-to-male), Dana (21F), and Lisa (19F).
Brad came out to us at 16 as trans. We told him we loved him, asked him how he wanted us to refer to him, and our entire family supported him.
He wanted to be our son, Brad, Dana and Lisa’s brother, and nephew and grandson to other relatives. Everyone in our family has been nothing but supportive and embracing of his identity from day one.
His father, my husband, took him to Pride for many years and spent the whole day with him.
Recently, Brad wrote a play for a local theatre group all about his experience as a transman. He told us we didn’t have to attend, but of course, we got tickets for opening night for all four of us. We were surprised to see two characters in the play ‘Debra’ and ‘Irving’ where our names are ‘Brenda’ and ‘Isaac’.
They are very obviously the parents of the main character. Upon Brad’s coming out, they are devastated and use several slurs, and Irving becomes angry that his beautiful girl wants to mutilate herself. They keep using Brad’s dead name and referring to him as their daughter. They try to put Brad into a mental hospital and he leaves home.
These characters are not seen again for the rest of the play. It was billed as an autobiographical account of his life so far. In the end, several people came up to us and asked what made us finally accept our son. Others shot us dirty looks and refused to acknowledge us otherwise.
I approached Brad after and asked why he had done this. He tried to deflect saying that it was meant to be a story. When I pointed out that in several places it was said to be autobiographical, he replied that I had no idea what it was like to be him growing up and it was his story to tell.
When I was asked about it again, I informed the person that the story was fictional, never happened, and that we had been nothing but supportive of Brad from day one.
I later posted publicly on social media that Brad’s play was fictional, had no basis in actual events, and that we had always loved our son for who he is.
Family members who know the situation have agreed that the play has no basis in reality and I was right to defend my family.
Brad has messaged me demanding I take the post down saying that the play was not meant to be literal, he didn’t even want us to come, that I was conflating myself with a fictional character, and anybody who knows me knows the truth.
I feel embarrassed but I am wondering if I am making too much of this because nobody who matters believes it. Am I the jerk?”
2. AITJ For Leaving Because There Was No Food For Me?
“I (f 32) gave birth to my son 5 weeks ago.
My husband’s mom has been camping in the living room ever since and inviting people over, making a mess in the house, etc. I said nothing because if I open my mouth, my husband would start scolding me saying his mom is there to help and I should be grateful.
What I did was ignore her and focus on my son.
I handle feeding, diaper change, cleaning, and wiping. I only get a few hours sleep so my husband’s mom isn’t really helping with the baby. But I thought to myself ‘Well, at least she cooks for us!’
Last night, I was in the bedroom breastfeeding my son.
I knew I was late for dinner but I thought that my husband and his mom saved a plate for me. Once I got done with my son, I walked out of the room and saw my husband and his mom sitting watching TV. I asked about dinner and my husband said it was ‘probably’ on the stove.
As I was walking towards the kitchen, his mom loudly said that she didn’t save me any food. I was absolutely shocked I asked her why and she simply said ‘Well, we didn’t see you at the dinner table so I thought you weren’t hungry’.
I lost it and yelled that I was feeding my son, OF COURSE I was hungry, I was actually starving!
She shrugged her shoulders and said it wasn’t her fault I didn’t ‘show up for dinner’ but she knew that I was with my son and hadn’t eaten a thing in hours! My husband asked me to not raise my voice at his mom but I told him that he saw what happened and didn’t think about me being hungry and needing food.
He lashed out asking what I wanted him to do and I said ‘I don’t know, maybe save some food for me?’
She defended him saying it was selfish of me to basically berate him for eating his dinner after working for long hours at the department. An argument ensued and I went inside the bedroom, packed a small bag for me and my son, called my brother to come take me to mom’s house and my husband blew up at me as I was making my way out.
We argued at the door and he told me that what I was doing was uncalled for and childish. I told him I couldn’t take his mom anymore, he said I should be ashamed of myself for talking about her like that after she literally put her life ‘on pause’ so she could help ME out.
My brother came and I got into the car and left.
He picked some food for me on the way and I ate like a hungry bear. My husband never stopped calling though. In his last text, he called me ‘nuts’ and demanded I return today but I said that I miss my mom, that I like it here in her clean home with her healthy food, and would like to stay for a while.
He’s lost it and got his family involved accusing me of keeping his son away from him and punishing him over ‘food.'”
1. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Return The $6000 He Took From My Account?
“I’m a nurse and have been working more hours for the past 6 months to be able to save funds to fix the ceiling in our house.
I’ve saved up to 8,000 in my account and since my husband hasn’t worked since 2020, I’m trying to balance rent and utilities payments.
My husband is a golf enthusiast, and so are his friends. The only difference is that all his friends are well off and they can afford expensive golfing gear and trips.
They mentioned wanting to go on a golfing trip next week and invited my husband but he initially refused. Though, he really wanted to go but complained about how his friends bought fancy golfing gear while all he has is old gear. He asked if I could ‘lend’ him $6,000 dollars so he could buy a set of golfing clubs but I refused because $6,000 for a set of clubs is crazy expensive, especially for someone who doesn’t work.
He got upset and accused me of holding his employment over his head when he couldn’t help it.
Anyway, I thought we were over this argument but I had discovered that he had pulled the $6,000 dollars out of my account and purchased the set behind my back. I went home and exploded on him.
He swore he’d return the money once he gets back from his trip but, I told him he had no right to take the money and spend it on a set of clubs while the ceiling needs fixing. He said the ceiling doesn’t require $6,000 dollars either but the kids’ room was affected too.
I demanded that he return the set or pay me the 6,000 right there and then. He told me I was being unfair to him and that he’s feeling stuck because his friends can afford to buy whatever, while he’s being yelled at for wanting something for himself for once. I told him to get a job and buy himself whatever, he tried to tell me he’ll pay me when he finds a job which is AFTER he gets back from his trip but I refused.
He kept begging me to let him just go on the trip and ‘we’ll’ figure it out later but I said no. If it wasn’t for something as important as the ceiling, I would’ve maybe waited but he’s saying I’m abusive and controlling of his life.”
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