People Intrigue Us With Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
39. AITJ For Not Allowing My Husband's Family Visit Him Yet?
“My husband Larry (65) is dying of cancer. Hospice was called in this past Monday and he probably has 1-4 weeks left. He was diagnosed last October with stage 4 NSCLC (Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer) but was given hope for 3-5 years with a new oral chemotherapy medicine. When diagnosed I told his family and asked that they please see or at least call Larry on a regular basis because there was no guarantee that this medicine would work, 3- years is the average, but that means some will live longer, while others like Larry won’t have much, if any benefit.
One of his brothers called and visited him three times when first diagnosed. The other brother made one call, and his daughter called once and promised to come up right away to see her dad. Granted, Alice does live an 8-hour drive away, but it’s still doable. As the months wore on, and the ups and downs of his condition I kept reaching out to his family begging that they come to see him to no avail.
Just a note, no bad b***d, no estrangement just a lazy, selfish group of people that won’t do anything that requires any effort on their part if it isn’t something they really want to do.
Four weeks ago Larry went to the hospital and began deteriorating quickly. I called his brothers and daughter telling them they needed to come quickly if they wanted to see Larry again.
I told them the exact quote I got from the doctor was ‘You don’t need to drop everything, but you need to get here in a week. If you wait for August you’ll be too late.’ One brother visited twice during the three weeks he was in the hospital, the other hasn’t even called. Alice claimed she was coming up right away, then would give an excuse as to why she needed to push her visit back by 3-4 days, doing this repeatedly.
So now he’s home and on hospice. This week has been crazy; nurses, social workers, and deliveries of medical equipment, and medicine from pharmacies. I’ve been fielding calls from family and friends, plus I’m dealing with the emotional and physical drain of being a caregiver. His brothers and daughter want to visit this weekend and I said no, I’m not up to it.
I’m exhausted, the house is a mess, and they had months to visit and they decided it wasn’t a priority. They’re mad and I don’t care. AITJ?”
38. AITJ For Excluding My Cousin From Family Photos?
“I (M 26) went to my little cousin’s (12) party yesterday. Many other cousins were also present. Almost by the end of the party, we (the older cousins) decided to hang out in the backyard.
‘Jane’ (F 17), the sister of the birthday boy, asked me to take a photo together.
When we were going to do it, ‘Lauren’ (F 27) got in, no problem there, but right after taking the picture, she decided to charge us $50 each. Why? Because she thinks she is a big shot and a celebrity for having 1000 followers on her social media. Jane and I told her to flip off and Jane deleted the photo.
We continued taking pictures with the other cousins without Lauren.
She then tried to claim that we would gain followers with her in the photos and when no one pay her attention, she tried to put everyone down by claiming we were jealous of her ‘fame’; I told her to get lost and she did, but she went to complain with to her mom and mine.
My aunt came out of the house and tried to scold me like I was 5 and went on a rant saying that I am jealous of Lauren. I asked her what I should be jealous of. If something, I would be of ‘Mary’ who actually earns from her social media and gets products, I mean, who doesn’t want that?
Or of ‘David’, who earns from posting thirst traps, not even he is charging us money. No one here is acting like we’re walking on water or putting people down because we feel important.
My aunt changed her tone and said that I humiliated Lauren and tried to kick me out, but it wasn’t her house; I left anyway and the rest of my cousins followed.
My mother is mad that I ‘ruined’ my little cousin’s party, that I was too harsh on Lauren and wrong for excluding her from the photos, she saw them on my cousins’ social media and is sad. I agreed about my little cousin. I called him to apologize but he didn’t even notice when we left; he was busy playing video games with his friends.”
37. WIBTJ If I Report Coworker To Our Boss For Always Borrowing Money?
“My coworker Brittany and I are both 19 and have worked together for 7 months. We’re not friends, she’s been kinda a jerk to me in the past for no reason. When I first started working there I didn’t have my driver’s license. I’d get a ride or take Lyft to work. When she found out I didn’t drive she thought it was hilarious and would make it a point to tell everyone even new people (nobody cared), then she’d say things like ‘You have to get driven by your mommy’.
To this day I don’t get it, but I have my license now.
Well anyway, Brittany’s hours were cut a month or so ago everyone’s were but hers were cut more than mine. Apparently, when she saw the schedule she saw that I had more hours, she asked for some of my shifts but then didn’t want them because I’d only give up weekend shifts.
She said I was trying to benefit from her needing hours.
She’s been telling everyone about her financial problems. That she’s going to have a hard time paying rent/buying food/etc. This really isn’t out of the ordinary because she overshares a lot about all the different stuff.
She asked me a few weeks ago if I had 50 bucks she could borrow.
I said no. A couple of days later she asked again and I said no, she said ‘What about 20?’. I said that I didn’t have it.
She said, ‘Well you borrowed Stacy’s money the other day’. Stacy is a friend I work with and she forgot her wallet so I loaned her 10 for lunch.
She paid me back the next day so that’s a lot different. When she said that I shrugged and said ‘I could do that then, I can’t now’.
Ever since then, she keeps asking for different amounts like once or twice a week. Saying she needs it for rent or something. When I tell her no and to stop asking she gets more aggressive almost. Says things like ‘What do you have to spend money on if you live at home, it’s not like you have to pay rent or bills’, or ‘You have 2 jobs, you can afford it.
I really need the money’.
She’s asked at least 2 other coworkers, I only know because they were talking about it and asked if she’s asked me for money. They said it’s awkward because she won’t accept no for an answer.
Brittney asked again yesterday and I said ‘Brittany No, stop asking me, seriously it’s annoying’.
She said, ‘Well I’m glad my struggles annoy you. You work 2 jobs and probably could help me out but you just don’t want to. So you’re being stingy’.
I’m just sick of it. I’ve told her to stop and she won’t.
I want to report her because she’s refusing to stop and at this point it’s uncomfortable.
Sometimes I worry about buying lunch and she confronts me, which I could totally see her doing.
WIBTJ if I report it to my boss?”
36. AITJ For Ruining My Brother's Engagement?
“I (21 f) have an older brother (29 m) who has been divorced twice and is about to get married to his fiancé of two years (26 f) and she a party celebrating the fact that she got engaged a few days ago.
I was invited but my brother wasn’t since she wanted to have a little party with her friends and since she wanted to bond with me (her future sister-in-law) she also invited me.
So I started chatting with her and her friends, and later in the night, we started to get a little tipsy. Suddenly she started to talk about my brother, stating that she couldn’t believe that he never got married before since he is such a handsome man. But it didn’t make sense that she said that, since he was divorced twice, and one of his former wives had a child with him.
Then she started to talk about him saying things that weren’t true like the fact that he was a lawyer, he worked at a hotel as a janitor, and that he was making 150k a year when he was making minimum wage.
At this point, I was shocked because all the things she was talking about were untrue so I asked who told her this and she said it was my brother.
I was confused as to why he said that but I knew that in his previous marriages, he had verbally mistreated his wife so I knew either way I could not let this slide. I brought her to the bathroom upstairs and told her everything – I mean everything. She look shocked, and after I finished telling her she went downstairs got her stuff, said she felt sick and left.
The next day comes around and my phone was blown up with messages, missed calls, and DMs from my family and brother about what happened. It turns out that after she left she went to her house (where my brother was at the time) confronted him and broke up with my brother then kicked him out.
My family and brother are calling me an insensitive jerk and a home wrecker, I don’t feel bad about telling her the truth but I do feel bad about ruining his engagement. AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Punishing My Son By Making Him Eat Only Vegan Food For A Month?
“I have 2 kids (16 M and 14 F.) Last year, my daughter decided to go vegan. I didn’t have any problem with this one bit. I give her the money that I would spend on food for her anyway, she buys her own food and cooks it herself if what her mom is making isn’t vegan.
It has been the tiniest change we have ever had to go through.
For some reason though, my son has taken this change as an opportunity to bully his sister. I’ve made it clear to him that this is not ok at all, and have punished him several times for his bullying, but it has never gotten through to him.
Last week, this all came to a head when my son took all of the food my daughter had bought for the week and hid it pretending he threw it away on garbage day. I got a call in the middle of the day at work from my daughter crying saying that he had thrown all her food away.
I had to rush home only to discover it was just a prank. I was livid. I was ready to make him eat nothing but rice for the rest of his time under my roof but my wife calmed me down and came up with a better plan. For the next 30 days, we are going to eat nothing but vegan food.
We will make nothing but vegan food and buy nothing but vegan products.
I told my son this, and that if he wants anything else he will be paying for it. He lost his mind, but for the past 5 days, we have been a vegan family. Well, my son called my parents and they rang me up furious.
Telling me that I was abusing him. I ended up hanging up on them. The rest of my family followed suit, and some friends have now joined in saying that this is jerkish of me.
My son is miserable, but I really don’t care. He brought this upon himself. He still has food to eat and can spend what little pocket money he has to buy meat for the next 25 days if he wants.
So, AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Reporting Trespassing Campers To The Police?
“I own sixteen acres of woodland behind my house. It is very clearly my property as there are signs up stating it is private property.
I’m generally good with people walking through it taking their dog for a walk or hiking or even local kids playing there as it’s a safe place and beautiful and so long as they don’t cause any damage or mess with the trees I see no reason to get upset over this.
An issue came up however tonight when I was on a walk and I saw a fire through the trees.
I admit I panicked, thinking a dog walker had been out and tossed a smoke or some local teenagers were setting fires for fun. I rushed out to check on it and try to put out the fire and found one of my neighbors camping with their partner and friends. It was a group of five people in their mid-20s and they had a roaring campfire going.
They got startled by me rushing up to them like that and asked me what I was doing. I asked them the same question back and told them they couldn’t camp here and they’d not asked permission to do so. This led to some laughter and protests that they were doing any harm and to ‘lighten up’.
I told them to put the fire out and get off my land. I didn’t want to risk a campfire there as it could easily get out of hand especially when the group manning it was more than a little wasted.
They ended up refusing stating they weren’t going anywhere and were not doing anything wrong so I went home and called the police to get them off my property.
They were made to leave and break up their camp.
Am I maybe the jerk for this? They probably thought it was ok as I’m good with letting people use my land in general. I maybe could have handled it ‘better’ but I’d gotten a fright seeing the fire and then how they responded… it just really got to me.”
33. AITJ For Proving That My Mother-In-Law Promised To Bring The Steak Dish?
“My husband was in a car accident last week. He was staying at the hospital for his broken leg.
Only me and his mom were there. His mom and I don’t get along AT ALL. He tells me I’m overreacting or paranoid whenever I point out how she’s mistreating me.
He complained about hospital food saying it had no taste and asked me to make his favorite meal which was a steak dish and bring it to him at the hospital. Noting that steak isn’t cheap where we live and I didn’t have enough time to prepare it.
I told him I will see what I can do then his mom said if I’m truly a supportive wife then I’d make it happen.
Once we went outside his room, his mom’s tone changed. She suddenly seemed nice and said that she could see how exhausted I was and that I should go home and not worry about the steak dish because she said she’d make it for him.
I asked if she was 100% sure and she said ‘Absolutely!’.
The next visit I showed up and my husband asked why I didn’t bring the steak dish he asked for. I saw his mom there I told him his mom offered to make it for him instead and told me not to worry about it.
He didn’t believe it and was like ‘Mom said that? I’m not buying it. Mom, you really said that?’ Her reaction shocked me. She acted confused and said that I’m his wife and she didn’t know why I’d expect her to ‘perform’ my duties for me. I was confused and didn’t know what to do.
My husband seemed upset the entire visit and I waited til his mom left to talk.
I swore to him his mom said she’d take care of it but he said he didn’t believe me. I pulled my phone out, called his mom, and put her on speaker so he could hear the conversation. I said ‘Didn’t you say you’d make the steak dish and that I didn’t have to worry about it?’ She replied ‘I did…but I obviously wasn’t actually going to do it, I was just trying to help my son see how his wife is during the rough times and you took the bait’.
My husband raised his eyebrows. He got mad. He called her later and picked a fight then said no more visiting.
She lost it, called me petty and manipulative, and blasted me on social media, saying I stopped her from seeing her son only because I couldn’t get her to do things for me like cooking for my own husband.
Now his family is criticizing me for this.”
32. AITJ For Not Giving The McDonald's To My Cousins?
“I (16 F) have 2 younger siblings (9 M and 7 F) and my parents don’t take care of them at all. We’re not doing well financially. My parents are almost never home so I have to take care of everything around here, including my siblings. My mom usually buys groceries and I have to scramble everything around to make it last.
I have a part-time job, so I’m able to order takeout a few times per month. Yesterday we only had a few packs of ground beef that I cooked, but my brother was tired of it so I ordered them some McDonald’s. Around that time, my parents arrived with my uncle, his wife, and 2 small children.
My dad is helping them renovate their house and he gave them a lift here. Two min or so after that, the Uber Eats arrived and they saw me with the packages. My cousins were jumping all happy saying ‘McDonald’s! McDonald’s!’ and my dad said that they should stay to eat.
This is where I might be the jerk.
There was enough ground beef for all of us, but only two McDonald’s. My brothers aren’t the picky ones. Whatever I cook, they eat, but they’re children and I know that they might be tired of the same thing over and over again. McDonald’s doesn’t happen that often. I said ‘Sure, there’s enough ground beef for all of us.
Let me serve the kids some’ and my uncle said ‘But you have McDonald’s’ and I said ‘Yes, but this is for my siblings’ and my dad said ‘They can eat ground beef. Give your cousins the McDonald’s’ and I said no because they didn’t want to eat ground beef and that’s why I ordered it in the first place.
My mom said that I was being rude and that I should handle the bags and I said no again because they’re my siblings. I asked if they could order some for my uncle’s kids so the four can eat it but my uncle said that they were guests and they shouldn’t have to order it, then I finally said ‘then you and your family can eat ground beef’ and went to the kitchen to serve my siblings their food.
They left and my parents came at me saying how rude and disrespectful I was, that you should never negate a guest some food. I said that I didn’t negate them food, I negate them something my brother’s kids were eating and THEY (my parents) could’ve offered to buy more if they were that interested in them eating McDonald’s instead of taking the very less their children have.
They called me a jerk and now my uncle and his family are calling me that too.”
31. AITJ For Failing A Student For Lack Of Conduct And Effort?
“I am a high school chemistry teacher in a district where Chemistry is required to graduate. I recognize that many students aren’t scientifically/mathematically inclined, and having an ADHD child has confirmed firsthand that even trying your best may not guarantee ‘success’ in certain subjects.
For this reason, I make my class as stress-free for my students as possible. Grades are determined mainly by homework/participation. Only a small percentage is exam-based.
I also offer a weekly extra-credit assignment that I introduce on Monday and have due by Friday. It’s the same every time; Watch a five-minute-long video about our current topic, then write a ‘3-2-1’ about it.
(3 things they learned, 2 things that they found surprising/interesting, and 1 question they still had about the video.) I even accept silly answers like ‘Where did the guy buy that mole plushie from?’
Even if you perform poorly on exams, turning in your homework and completing at least half the extra credit assignments will guarantee you at least a B.
The majority of my students have A’s, are motivated during class, and their standardized testing stores indicate a strong understanding of Chemistry.
Then there’s my student, Levi. I don’t think Levi is a bad kid in any way. But he is very disrespectful and never turns in homework or extra credit. I have sent Levi to a counselor to discuss if there’s a reason he can’t do his homework and if we could help.
Nothing came of that. I held multiple parent meetings to discuss Levi’s lack of effort and that he would not graduate 11th grade unless he changed. His mother would insist that I give Levi another chance, and she would stay on top of him. There was never any improvement.
The last day of school is on Friday.
Levi has a 34.6% in my class. He approached me last week after school and asked how he could raise his grade. I encouraged him to study for the final exam. But the exam is only 3% of his final grade and wouldn’t be enough. Because he failed both semesters, he doesn’t have the option to make up a semester in summer school and will have to repeat the 11th grade.
Levi begged me because he and his friends were planning to attend the same college and if he were held back he’d be left behind. I told him ‘Levi, your conduct and lack of effort will not work in college or the real, adult world. You are not ready for the complete adulthood that comes with college.
Your grade is the one you earned and that is final.’
Levi looked devastated and left. Later his mother emailed me saying she wished I’d ‘invested more in Levi.’ I hate having to fail a student but I feel Levi needed a harsh reality check and he gave me no choice. It would also be unfair to my students who did try.
I talked about this with some family members, and many told me I could have taught Levi a lesson without ‘ruining’ his future and I went too far with my words. Again, I didn’t enjoy it but still believe it was necessary. AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Cutting Ties With My Sister?
“I and my sister had a HUGE fight 6 years ago & have been no contact since.
As part of the no contact we asked our family to please decide which events they wanted each of us at & the other one would not go to it to avoid causing a scene or ruining events.
My family has put a lot of pressure on me to ‘be the bigger person’ & make amends with my sister so we can have a relationship again & more importantly both be at events.
I finally gave one of them my email & said sister could reach out to me if she wanted to. She did, & it was fine, but she would keep saying hurtful things & I’d have to be like ‘I don’t appreciate that’ & move on. But it was more civil & that’s the best it’s been for years.
My family was happy but soon started badgering me, to see her in person. So I emailed her & said that if she was comfortable we could get lunch and talk, maybe even with neutral parties as a group thing if that made her feel better. Or if she wanted me to see a family counselor of her choosing instead I’d be willing to attend that as well.
She emailed me back & said she would love to but her therapist ‘wouldn’t allow her to’, so she would be declining.
I found this odd. I also go to therapy & my therapists help me work through my emotions to come up with solutions on my own. They are a facilitator. They don’t tell me what to do.
If they do give a recommendation it’s based on info I gave them. Ie ‘It seems you are uncomfortable op, maybe now isn’t the right time for xyz’.
I told her this reasoning saying that if she felt uncomfortable seeing me I’d appreciate it if she would just tell me she’s the one uncomfortable & that I’d respect her feelings.
But I didn’t feel scapegoating the therapist was fair.
She responded by cursing me out & telling me that emailing her was a privilege she could revoke at any time if I didn’t treat her ‘with reverence’ (her words) & she would block me.
I emailed back saying that maybe resuming the no-contact was the best option for us & wished her the best. I haven’t answered or read any emails after that, I’ve gone back to no contact.
My family is now LIVID with me for ‘breaking up the family forever’ & is telling me I’m being selfish and petty.
I feel like I might be the jerk because I know the rift causes them a lot of distress + planning around it for events is inconvenient, + I am sad I’m in no contact with my sister as we used to be friends when we were little.
Maybe she just has a controlling and weird therapist? But I’m also extremely tired of dealing with someone who seems to never take responsibility for their own emotions. I’d rather be in no contact than contribute to a toxic relationship. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Making My Brother Pay Child Support?
“I (37 m) brought my nephew (8 m) to live with me in January 2021, after discovering my brother (34 m) had him living in squalor.
Nephew’s mother passed away a few years ago.
My brother was supposed to take a few months, to get his home together: have subfloors sanitized, clean EVERYTHING, make repairs, replace carpet, etc; in order to make his home safe for his son to live.
6 months later, I moved us out of my 1-bedroom apartment across town from my brother, and into a 2-bedroom (because an 8-year-old needs a bed and personal space) down the street from Brother
16 months in, and my brother has not gotten his life together. He’s decided to cut off child support so he can focus on saving for a new apartment.
When my brother informed me of his decision to stop paying build support, I went into Social Security and got myself set up as Representative Payee for my nephew’s death benefit.
I also filed suit for legal custody and a support order – In my view, if my brother cannot afford to save for a new apartment WHILE supporting his son, then he can’t afford the new apartment.
In the state of Texas, where we live, my brother is on the hook for 20% of his net income in child support, which equates to roughly $775/mo; and the Social Security award I mentioned is considered my nephew’s income, not my brother’s; bringing my nephew’s income entitlements to $1495/mo… not the $300 my brother had been paying.
My nephew’s expenses are $1024.78/mo (includes rent, electricity, transportation, and food), so anything above that would be invested, saved, or spent on necessities like clothes and school supplies.
I have already set my nephew up with a budget, as well as UTMA checking, savings, and brokerage accounts to manage his finances appropriately.
I offered my brother the option of paying $0 in child support if he consented to legal custody with the SAME visitation arrangement we’ve had in place since this all started; he thought about it and decided to decline.
At this point, I’ve decided to pursue a full support order, because he owes it to his son to provide at least as much support as the boy’s dead mother does.
To that end, I’ve also reported him to the Office of the Investigator General for possible misuse of funds for the Social Security he received on behalf of my nephew since January 2021 – This may result in significant legal and financial problems for my brother, on top of me suing for custody, and his creditors suing for nonpayment of his loans.
I feel like I’m just doing right by a child I love, but my brother thinks I’m money-grabbing because I use numbers when I talk. Am I the jerk here?”
28. AITJ For Defending My Brother From Our Mom?
“I (21 f) have an older brother ‘Luke’ (27 m) who recently got engaged to his partner of 5 years ‘Rose’ (25 f). My mother (51 f) has never liked Rose.
She decided she didn’t like her before she even met her. She’s always been rude to her. I still remember the first time Luke brought Rose home to meet us. My mother just insulted her the entire time.
Well, Luke and Rose flew home to visit us. When they arrived Rose had a ring on her finger and they announced they were engaged. My mother was furious.
She immediately started going off about how my brother was ‘ruining his life’ and ‘how could he marry that girl when she took him away from his family.’ (When rose graduated college, my brother moved across the county to move in with her. My mom has since been saying that she stole him from us.) She kept saying she knew this would happen bc my brother didn’t listen to her and went to college across the country (where he met rose).
She was berating rose and talking over my brother who was trying to tell her to calm down and that rose was not a horrible person like she seems to think. Rose looked like she was about to cry (I honestly don’t blame her) and my brother looked like he was about to lose it.
I honestly just snapped. I told Mom she needed to get over herself because this is my brother’s life, not hers, and rose has been nothing nice to all of us. I told her to just shut up because no one asked for her opinion nor did they want it.
My mom then started yelling at me instead.
She called me a jerk and told me to get out of the house (I was staying for summer break). She also kicked rose and Luke out. They went to their hotel and I’m now at my dad’s house.
My brother thanked me for having his back and doesn’t think I said anything wrong.
However, my mom isn’t talking to me. My dad said he understands why I did it because he knows how my mom gets but that I shouldn’t have said that. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Thinking My Sister Deserved The Bullying?
“Right after school ended for the summer my sister (16 f) showed our parents the bullying she had been dealing with since January. It went right up into the summer and was relentless apparently. Our parents were outraged and they contacted some at the school to complain and say a meeting needs to be held so nothing like this can happen in September.
My parents looked for me to support my sister before I leave town for college. I’m staying somewhere else already but still local. I told them I was not going to support her or be her shoulder to lean on. That she was all theirs and I wished them luck. They said my sister has been through a lot and she deserves my support, my love, and to know she has people behind her.
I told them my sister deserved what she got and maybe she can now learn.
For context: my sister has been a bully since she was about 6. It started small and was super childish. But over the years she has bullied more than a dozen kids and she’s been the reason at least two kids in her class transferred schools mid-year.
She’s spread rumors about girls being pregnant, told kids they were ugly and should wear paper bags over their heads, spoiled kids’ lunch, stole from others, called people ‘diseased’, and made a huge deal about not going near this one girl because people might catch something, even going as far as leaving her without a partner in class one time, and the school calling our parents because she stood up in front of everyone and said she was a walking disease and nobody wanted to catch that off her.
So that’s who my sister is and that’s the reason I said she deserved it. Because to me, it might be the only way she can learn, and honestly, I’m not even sure I love her with how I have seen her treat others. Even me she hasn’t been great to.
My parents think I am the worst ever though.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Confronting My Team Member About Her Irresponsibility?
“I work in a corporate service firm. I don’t wish to get more specific than that, but it’s one where we do work with clients and it’s task-based work with deadlines.
I have a junior team member who I’ll call Evans. She is a decent worker, still learning how to work in a professional environment and in this industry.
She is big on work-life balance and never touches work outside the hours.
Normally this is more than fine, we don’t care when you work as long as you are reachable and able to finish your tasks when we need them.
Here’s the issue though, we had a big client presentation. The day before this I gave Evans a task to do with about 2 and a half hours left in the day.
The task, while only taking maybe 1 hour, was vital to part of the presentation, which the client specifically requested.
Evans does not finish the task and leaves at 5:00 sharp. Most of us were staying back a bit later doing our own tasks for the presentation, but we took a look at it and saw Evans’s work was not done.
Here’s about as much as I can disclose, Evans has been the go-to person for this set of data/topic, and other than a few others, she is the only one with the expertise to deal with it. Because of this, and the fact that I had bigger tasks to deal with, Evans had done a series of tasks regarding this over the past weeks, and she had the data needed to do this.
Sorry if it’s a bit hard to follow, basically she was the only one with the tools+expertise to do this specific task, while I and other members of the team had expertise, we didn’t have the tools (data) needed.
We realize this and are all scared cus the presentation was in the morning of the next day, like first thing in the morning.
We knew Evans would refuse to do the task after hours, even with overtime, so we just asked her to send the tools. A 2-minute thing.
I call her work mobile, no answer, one of us calls her personal number, after some texts. Evans picks up and starts chatting, but when we mentioned that we needed the data, she cut the call.
We end up staying till 1:00 to recreate weeks’ worth of Evan’s work to finally get the presentation right, also delaying our own tasks, so I along with 2 others stayed the full night to work on this + other tasks.
Just to put things into context about how easy this task was, once we recreated the weeks’ worth of work, it took me less than 1 hour to finish the task, Evans had 2.5.
And then she just refused to even send us the documents.
After this, I spoke to her and explained why what she did hurt the overall team, and she didn’t care. I admit, I should’ve planned better, but she just showed no remorse. Now nobody really wants to give Evans any tasks anymore because we think if something becomes critical, we need someone reliable to be able to hold the ‘keys’ to fix the issue.
She is complaining about not getting more responsibility now. AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Embarrassing My Lying Son In Front Of His Friends?
“My son (11 m) is one of those kids who lies all the time to make himself look cooler. My wife and I have done everything we can to try and help him with his problem but nothing works. A few days before this, I had enough and decided that the next time he did this, I would try to embarrass him into stopping.
On Saturday, he and his friends were playing Fortnite in the living room, while I was in the kitchen making dinner. He said that today, he had played in a game against Ninja, and he had beaten him. So, he had been challenged to a 1v1, and he had absolutely destroyed him. Like always, his friends just listened in awe.
I decided to try and back him into a corner, so I came in, and I asked him what time he did this. He said around 4, just before his friends had got there, and that it was too bad they hadn’t got to watch him. I said ‘Wait. 4? You didn’t finish cleaning your room until right before we invited your friends over.
Were you playing while you were supposed to be cleaning?’
He had one of those ‘It was at this moment he knew’ moments, and started talking out of his butt. He said no, and told me that I had let him take a break and play, remember? I put my Angry Dad face on, and I told him no, I didn’t do that, and his brother could back me up.
I told him that he isn’t supposed to play when his chores aren’t done, and when his mom gets home, we’re going to have to talk about punishment for this. I also told him that I would let his friends stay since they were already here, but I also wouldn’t let them stay any later than usual, even if their parents allow it.
I started to walk away and grumbled under my breath about disobedient kids and how he always does this, and the fact he tried to lie made it worse, etc. At this point, he was panicking, because my family doesn’t usually do punishment, so he’s not really used to it. He then actually admitted that he lied, and he wasn’t playing, and he had never played with Ninja at all, etc. He then started crying and begged me not to ground him.
His friends looked shocked that he would lie to them, because like said earlier, they ALWAYS believe him. I then acted like I had no idea he was lying, and just said ‘Oh, sorry about that. You can keep playing then, and we’ll just talk to your mom about lying to your friends. Have fun!’
We did talk with my wife about it, and like always, he was apologetic and said he wouldn’t do it again. Hopefully, he isn’t lying about that this time. My son is still furious with me though for embarrassing him in front of his friends. He’s only been talking to me the bare minimum, and my wife said that while she finds what I did kind of funny, it wasn’t cool to do it in front of his friends.
I’m also starting to believe I did something wrong, so please, let me know. Am I the jerk?”
24. AITJ For Calling Out My Sister For Stealing The Eulogy That I Wrote?
“My (22 M) grandfather passed away, and the whole family has been mourning. My father and his brothers had become despondent and because of this, my grandmother asked me to speak on their behalf as the eldest grandson (I have an older sister whos 24, but the older generations are very conservative so they would rather have a guy give the speech).
Initially, I was hesitant but she asked me in front of a lot of family members so I had no other choice but to say yes.
I put everything on hold to write a good speech to honor my grandpa. I cried a lot and when I finally finished I was so proud of myself.
I was still shaking off and mentally preparing myself to stand in front of a whole bunch of family and close friends because I suck at public speaking.
I put it in a Google Doc shared with the members of our family, along with some videos and pictures of him.
My mom came to me after it all and she didn’t have to outright say it, but I could tell she didn’t want to have me stuttering the entire speech, so she apparently talked with my grandma, and it was decided that my sister would give it instead, which I was honestly a bit upset about since I worked so hard on it, but understood and didn’t want to make a scene so I left it as is.
When it came time for my sister to speak, she literally took my speech word for word, personal stories I shared with my grandpa changed slightly as if it was her experiencing it.
I was appalled, who does that?! I told my mom after the service and she told me to shut up. LOL.
After everything was said and done people were hugging and crying telling her what a beautifully written speech she gave.
We had a dinner later with some family and they were still talking about what a wonderful speech she gave and it honestly got to me. I called her sick and disgusting for taking my speech and not writing her own.
My mom told me off afterward, saying how I was making everything about me, being selfish, and that it wasn’t her fault because she didn’t have time to write one up anyways.
I feel terrible because I do feel like maybe I should have just bit my tongue, but she could have at least changed the stories of me and Grandpa. AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Not Giving My Daughter A Gift Because She Didn't Pass The Test?
“I (37 m) have 3 kids (13 f, 10 m, and 10 m) with my ex (38 f) and 3 kids (6 m, 4 f, and 2 f) with my current wife (33 f). My children from my first marriage have 5 step-siblings (15 m, 13 m, 12 f, 11 f, and 9 m).
I and my ex live about 20 minutes away, and we have a great platonic relationship. My children’s step-siblings often come to our house when they visit, the dynamics are definitely a bit unusual for a mixed family but it works for us.
I grew up in a blended family, my mom and my stepdad made much more than my dad and stepmom, so I and my biological siblings got much more than my stepsiblings and half-siblings on my dad’s side, it hurt our relationship a lot and I promised to never do the same if I was in that situation.
My wife and I make much more than my ex and her husband, so I will often treat my ex’s kids with gifts, since they come over here, we also have a connection with them.
My daughter and her stepbrother recently had their first exam on a book they’re reading in English class, the teacher is new and borrowed the exam from a co-worker who’s been at the school for decades, what she didn’t realize is the test she borrowed was from a teacher known for giving extremely difficult exams, my daughter’s teacher said she went over everything in class and made sure she reviewed everything on the test, but some of the questions asked about minor details of the book that were easy to miss.
After grading them, she saw her class average out of 150 students was 18, and only 8 students passed. She announced this to her classes and said she was talking with other teachers to see if she was going to count it. What ended up happening was she ended up counting it but offered retakes for half credit and said she’d drop the lowest exam.
During the period when she was reviewing what to do, my daughter told me what her teacher said, I told her if she was one of the 8 students to pass, I’d get her a special prize of her choice, I obviously made the same offer to her stepbrother. She was acting really confident, her stepbrother, much less so.
She ended up getting a 34, her stepbrother got an 85. I asked how he did it and he said he didn’t know.
I emailed their teacher asking what I could do to help them and if she knew why he’d do so well. She said that she held extra help every day the week before the exam.
She said only 5 students ever came to help, the 5 students were my ex’s stepson and 4 of his friends, who amazingly all passed as well. The extra help clearly worked.
I got the boy a signed baseball bat he asked for, seeing his face when he got it was priceless.
I was telling my sister about this, she said that I was being a jerk for ‘incentivizing my children to do the bare minimum’, and that I was being rude to my daughter, but my daughter doesn’t seem too upset, I think it taught her not to be overconfident in tests despite being smart.
My sister insists she’s right. AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner To Tell Me What To Eat?
“I (24) and my partner (26) have been together almost 3 years now and we’re planning to move in together in a couple of months.
I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder for several years and we have talked about it before the start of our relationship and it doesn’t come up much. However, since we are trying to move in with each other soon, we butt heads with a couple of things. He’s very into dieting and exercise and eating no junk food, snacks, etc. For me, I just do everything in moderation to combat my eating disorder and being active at gyms and hiking.
He makes a lot of offhand comments about how I can’t bring snacks or ice cream and sweets into the house. I thought it was jokes but he said he means it because he wants me to be healthy too.
He also doesn’t eat breakfast while I do and says I should just skip breakfast for intermittent fasting like he does.
I can’t do that because I know for my own sake that would eventually lead to restrictive eating/starving myself. It got to the point where I was saying if anything I can skip cooking a full breakfast and just have some regular bread on the days I feel lazy and then told me if I have to eat bread around him I should be eating multigrain bread (which is personally not my favorite).
So I told him if he was gonna tell me what groceries that I buy for myself with my own funds I don’t wanna live with him. He said I was overreacting but I said that he doesn’t need to eat the stuff I eat and that I’m the one who would be buying snacks and bread and groceries for myself with my own funds from my own job, he doesn’t need to buy it for me.
It made me feel like my personal eating habits were being judged and my being directed with what to do with my money. Am I the jerk?”
21. AITJ For Proposing A Family-Friendly Trip?
“I (28 m) have 5 kids with my wife (32 f). Please don’t come after us with how many kids we have. I work roughly 50 hours a week (10-hour days M-F) and my wife is a stay-at-home mom.
She does the majority of everything, cleaning, cooking, everything minus the shopping which my wife orders online and I pick up at the store.
So here’s the AITJ scenario: My work schedules a work-bonding fishing trip from Friday night to Sunday over the summer. I said no way I’m going, for the following reasons, (despite my wife telling me to go and have fun).
First of all every Saturday I schedule my wife for some type of treat-your-self-appointment and send her on a mini shopping spree/kiddo-free morning to do what she wants with one rule no kid shopping. It’s about her and her only.
Second, I’m not leaving my wife for 2 nights and a day for fishing and getting wasted. If I want to go fishing I’ll take the 5-year-old old twins with me to give my wife less to juggle and create some memories
Third, the ladies that work at the office feel excluded because they don’t like the fishing trip because they feel excluded.
Fourth, they call it a stag weekend (despite no one getting married) and I don’t trust that phrasing, especially since they are going fishing near a very popular college-age vacation spot known for bars and wasted weekend shenanigans.
So my coworkers have been calling me whipped since I said no, and saying it’ll give them a chance to know me better since I don’t go out with them on Wednesdays when they go to the bar and have always missed the trip.
All my coworkers have wives, kids, or significant others so I recommended we do a family campout during the planning meeting (would cost the same amount) and do those blow-up things on the lake, boating if you have one, skis ext.
and do a cookout kind of deal with family activities with my work renting small cabins for families to use. My regional manager who was at the meeting loved it even more than the fishing trip and gave me a yearly bonus to plan this family event every year instead of my coworker who gets one to plan the fishing trip.
Now my coworkers are calling me whipped and more nonsense names and are mad because their wives are happy about my idea (their wives have even emailed me about a mom Saturday morning idea like my wife has and I added it into the plan) and are mad their stag weekend is canceled and quote ‘spend a work paid trip babysitting’.
So AITJ for getting a work trip canceled and replaced with a family-friendly event?
Edit for clarity: I also included the child-free coworkers of mine in the planning and said if they need a break or are getting overwhelmed they are more than welcome to borrow my boat for relaxing without kids or for more extreme watersports.”
20. AITJ For Causing My Roommate Trouble With Her Mom?
“Since November I’ve been living with this girl and I hate it so much. She is so annoying and messy. She never cleans up after herself and lets trash accumulate in her room. That’s her own personal space so I don’t really care but our open areas like the living room, kitchen, and bathroom that we share are constantly messy and I hate it.
I always ask her to clean and she promises to then she goes to work and goes straight into her room and doesn’t come out until I leave for the day and she only does that when I ask her to clean.
I’m not the type of person that can live in filth so I clean after she refuses to.
It’s caused a lot of resentment. A few months ago we had a screaming match when I asked her to clean the kitchen after she trashed it looking for stuff and she told me she’s gonna clean when she feels like it and to stop harassing her and she has ADHD and all these other accommodations I should adhere to.
After that, we don’t speak at all.
A few days ago when she was at work a woman knocked on our door. I opened it and she looked a lot like my roommate. She introduced herself as her mom so I let her in. She was pretty nice and was asking me a lot of questions about myself then she asked me if I liked living with her daughter.
I was honest and said no and told her my reasons and she was shocked and apologized.
She told me that she’s been paying her daughter’s rent and their agreement was that she stay home on work nights and only go out on the weekends and that’s it. She asked me if her daughter followed that and I laughed and said no and that she goes out frequently and skips work a lot.
Her mom was very shocked and soon after she left.
A few days later my roommate storms into my room screaming saying her mom told her that I said she’s filthy and hard to live with and that she skips work and goes out on work days and not just the weekends so her mom is no longer going to pay her rent and that it’s my fault and I’m a jerk.
I told my friend about it and she told me I should have just lied for her and that I was being petty and now she’s going to have to live paycheck to paycheck. AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Opening A Separate Account?
“I (35 m) and my wife (35 f) have been together for 14 years, married for 13.
We always strive for the betterment of our family. We both work and share a joint banking account to take care of all our financials. This is until 6 months ago.
One day I checked the account on our shared payday to make sure both deposits were there. They weren’t, just mine. At this point, I didn’t think anything of it.
I asked her if there was an issue with her payroll because her check wasn’t deposited. She laughs and says she changed her direct deposit to her own account and that she was keeping her earnings as a ‘just in case’ fund. That was not the case, I get footed with all bills while she spends hers as she sees fit.
Going out to eat taking fun day trips, buying extravagant things.
I’ve mentioned and asked to talk about this over the last 6 months to come to an agreement because as it stands my entire monthly earnings pay all our bills, leaving me with nothing, while she keeps hers and doesn’t contribute.
A few days ago I told her I was going to open a separate account and change my direct deposit, and things went down.
I was called every name in the book and made to feel like I was taking away from our family. I told her I would cover the major bills and she would be responsible for all the smaller bills. All in all, it comes out to a 70/30 split. She’s currently throwing me a guilt trip that she can’t afford it, which is not the case I know what she makes, (She likes to brag about how much she makes) and I should keep paying all the bills.
I’m planning to open a new account next week. Am I the jerk for splitting our finances?”
18. AITJ For Not Helping My Jerk Neighbor With His Insurance Claim?
“I live in a beautiful, somewhat upscale townhome in Florida. Each townhome has two vertical parking spaces in front of the unit. There are 2 visitor parking spots that run horizontally behind them. Our neighbor has 2 cars, my household has 3. This means that whoever gets home last from my household usually parks in one of the visitor spots.
The visitor spots are not assigned, but logic tells us that it’s one visitor spot per townhome.
Now… my neighbor and his wife NEVER park in their assigned parking and ALWAYS park in the visitor. I saw him outside a couple of months ago and told him that our home has 3 cars and asked if we can use one of his spots to park since he and his wife park in visitor spots.
He (very condescendingly) said no amongst a bunch of other crap. He said the guest spots aren’t assigned and he can park whenever he wants, blah blah blah. For the time being, we resorted to parking in front of a vacant unit if we weren’t able to beat him or his wife home.
I should note that overall, he is a jerk of a neighbor, but I don’t feel like listing more examples. Ask, if needed.
Fast forward to yesterday. He parked in a visitor spot as usual and another car side-swiped his car. I saw both the accident and his reaction when he came outside, furious.
It’s an incredibly expensive car. I can’t read the name, but the symbol is a trident, I believe. Like the one King Triton has in the little mermaid. Best I can describe it, sorry, luxury cars ain’t quite my thing.
So he asks me if I can describe the car. And I know the car.
They live in our community. I told him, yes and pointed him to where they live. He went there and found the car. He knocked and there was no answer. Today, he goes back and the resident says no one hit his car. This is despite there being side damage to that car also. This occurred right in front of my home and was captured on my front camera.
He knows this and asked for the footage.
I said no. He asked why and he basically begged, but I didn’t relent. I have no reason not to give him the footage other than to be the jerk to him that he’s been to us since we moved here. My sister says I’m being mean and we always manage to find parking either way and my husband says we should make him sweat for a few days and have him agree to leave us a visitor spot before we give him the footage.
I don’t want to do either, honestly.
Would I be the jerk for not giving him the footage?”
17. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Help With Household Expenses?
“My partner (29) and I (31) have lived together for a year in an apartment I had bought before knowing him. In the beginning, my partner asked about paying me rent a few times, but I said that would make me feel like a jerk as I wouldn’t rent the apartment to anyone anyway, as it was property.
I told him we would just split the apartment expenses.
I then started noticing that my partner is still very tight with his finances when it comes to dates (we go Dutch), presents, and our trips, even though my reasoning is that he should be a bit more generous as he is saving a whole year’s rent by living with me.
He doesn’t have financial issues and happily spends a good amount of money on his stuff. I don’t expect anything and have always paid my share on dates and joint travels, but he really is extremely tight with me and ‘counts every coin’ when paying half and half for the monthly restaurant-it would be nice to see some type of ‘thanks’.
In any case, I checked my finances for planning purposes. I’m noticing that the expenses for the apartment really went up this year-heating, water, and electricity. This is to the point that it is basically double of what I was paying last year, and I wasn’t expecting it. Same issue with other expenses such as our food shopping, which I fully cover and buy way more frequently than him (as he hates doing that ‘chore’).
I asked him to pay all the apartment expenses for the year plus half of the food expenses I made, which is not that much as if if we were to split ‘the potential rent for the apartment’, he would be paying triple that. He looked confused and it was difficult explaining why I thought he should cover the food for example.
I also told him I would appreciate some help financially, and that this was way less than what he would be paying if I had asked him for rent anyway. I think the original issue is that I said no to the rent as I was trying to be too nice, then I noticed he didn’t care and the expenses were double what was expected, and now I’m freaking out and am also mad that he never even fully covers a night out (and I’m cheap!)
He seems confused and doesn’t understand the reasoning behind all this, but said he would do it. AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Snitching On My Gossiping Coworker?
“So, I work at a dealership, I’m in the service side of things and work as a receptionist to the advisors and all of that. We file, take payments from appointments, and direct calls to certain advisers that customers are trying to reach. Now, I (22 F) work with three other girls – ‘Jasmine’ (45 F), ‘Jack’ (38 F), and ‘Susan’ (62 F).
Jasmine works with warranty, has been there 20+ years, and has trained all of us. Susan has worked there 2 years, Jack has worked there 1 year, and I’ve been here for 3 months. We all get along and run really well together.
We all have gotten really close to each other and our whole dynamic is great!
However I really get along with Jasmine, we work the same shifts together and my desk is right next to hers. One of the mornings I went in Jasmine had a stomach bug and had called out, until around 9 am it was just me and Susan. During that time Susan explained that I had gotten close to Jasmine and that I needed to be careful, when I asked what she meant she explained that Jasmine never stood up for us and that she had a ‘thing’ with one of the advisers and that it caused the girl before me to quit.
She continued to talk about it before I got extremely uncomfortable and asked her to stop.
The next day I explained the situation to Jasmine as well as how I reacted to it, she started crying and explained that Susan had tried to get her fired for those false accusations and even went as far as to have the girl before me message her husband and report it to HR.
Of course, her husband never believed it and HR checked all cameras and it was immediately shut down. I apologized and told her I just wanted her to know and if someone said something like that about me I would want the same. She asked if I was comfortable explaining this to our boss and I agreed. He thanked me for bringing this to their attention and explained everything to me and how it truly was nothing but lies.
Afterward, about two hours later, our boss pulled Susan aside for a talk. They were gone for an hour and when she came back she explained she was going on her lunch, pulled Jack aside and talked to her then left and didn’t return for the rest of her shift. Jack told me I was out of line and shouldn’t have said anything but I think I did the right thing.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Telling My Grandma All The Horrible Things About My Mom?
“So my mom has never been favorable towards me (f 20). She has never hidden it, and will even go out of her way to prove it. An example would be sports, I would spend every weekend playing in competitive golf tournaments over the summer and instead of being supportive, she would drop me off, take my sister to the zoo, and come back to pick me up late without asking how everything went (even though I was proud).
When it’s not favoritism then she’s just taking control of my life and not listening to what I want.
When I was in high school, she forced me to take 2 different birth controls (different times, both pills) and I went through 2 or 3 different antidepressants/anxiety medicines that did more harm than good. I still deal with the side effects to this day and anytime I tried to tell her about how much worse I was doing, she yelled at me and insisted I was a pathological liar who has a problem.
Examples like these led me to have no contact with her, even when she got into a car accident that almost killed her. It was severe, and for the first week, no one could tell if she was going to live. She shattered her whole left leg, broke her right ankle and knee, pelvis bone, and collar bone, bled out on the scene, died twice, and had multiple lacerations.
If she was driving her own car she would’ve died. But she got into the accident because she was faded (wasted and high, not counting pills) and even though she’s mostly recovered now, even learning to walk again, she is worse than ever about her drinking and substance usage habits which helps fuel my no contact with her.
But my grandma (her mom) is always in contact with me and keeps trying to push me to talk to her again and forgive her.
One day I had enough and this is where I think I’m the jerk. I told my grandma that I love her, but she sticks up for my mom because out of all her kids, my mom’s the least screwed up.
One of my uncles is in prison for life and the other is homeless in California (?) with two kids he has no contact with and is not allowed in the state of Florida. I didn’t tell her that, but I went on a small tangent about how my grandma lived next door, but she doesn’t know what really happened in that house and that her daughter was an abusive piece of work that only looks good compared to people who did worse than her.
I know it’s her daughter but I couldn’t stop and I went on for a little bit about how horrible my mom was to me and my sibling to the point she asked me to stop because she couldn’t hear anything else bad and had to ask about the positives in my life. I feel bad because I love my grandma, but I don’t want her to take responsibility for my trashy mom.
I have apologized to my grandma, but I want to know if I’m the jerk for not holding my tongue.”
14. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give Up The Rescue Dog?
“I volunteer at a German Shepherd rescue and in September a female was brought in after her owner said she was going to have post-traumatic stress because she couldn’t handle her. Loki was skeletal, timid, and reactive to men and other dogs.
I went home from the rescue the first day and cried at the thought of her being in the kennels, but also at the thought of somebody else taking her home and hurting her even more.
At the end of November, the rescue allowed me to bring her home as a foster. I live in a ground-floor flat with a communal garden so I’m not allowed to adopt her until I move in April.
Because Loki is so reactive to dogs and men, I had to spend Christmas alone. My parents have 3 dogs, plus my dad and 2 brothers. It was going to be a lot of dogs in a small house and I knew it would be too much. Plus, Loki went into heat about a week before Christmas and my parents’ male German Shepherd isn’t neutered.
Because I technically only foster Loki, people have been putting adoption requests in for her. I mentioned this to a group chat of friends and they unanimously agreed that I should give Loki up. They think that I will have no life with her due to her reactivity and that I will have to spend more Christmas’ alone.
Their argument is that these other people may have more time/money/land/experience than I do. When I said I got where they were coming from but the idea of giving Loki up made me really upset and that not only has she progressed incredibly in her reactivity & training, but she’s been incredible for my mental health.
Since then they’ve not spoken to me at all. If I say anything in the chat, it gets ignored. One of the girls’ son had a birthday party and the other 2 got invited but I didn’t. When I asked one of them about it she said the whole point of fostering is to help the dog move on to somewhere better.
I’ve spoken to family about keeping Loki and they all say I’m her person. They don’t think I should give her up at all unless I really want to (which I clearly don’t). The management at the rescue doesn’t want to move Loki into a new home and unsettle her unless completely necessary and they’re really happy with the progress she’s made.
But my friends are making me feel like a jerk for keeping the dog and potentially keeping her from a better life.
AITJ for keeping her?”
13. AITJ For Banning My Cousin From Family Events?
“My cousin (Leah) and I were really close I always saw her as a friend more than a cousin. When I came out Leah was my biggest supporter but then she started seeing her significant other (Nick).
Nick is one of those phobics that says ‘I’m not homophobic/racist but…’ I tried to continue to hang out with Leah but Nick always had some rude comments to make. Every time I brought it up to Leah she kept saying that ‘He is just ignorant’ and ‘He’s just trying to understand you’ so I started to distance myself from her.
Now Leah and Nick have decided to move into Leah’s house together. I then got a text message (she didn’t even have the balls to say to my face) that I’m only allowed to come over to her house because Nick is uncomfortable with both my husband and me together at his home. To say I was angry would be an understatement, I called her and said that I didn’t feel comfortable having a homophobic jerk in my house or her homophobic SO and not to ever contact me again hung up, and blocked her
Now the thing is that my house has the biggest entertaining area than anyone else in the family, so we end up hosting most things like Christmas, Easter, birthdays, etc. So I’ve basically banned her from all family events. All my family including Leah’s brother who still wants me to host his 30th birthday party are on my side.
My aunt and uncle however keep calling and texting me to ‘just let her come to her brother’s party’ and ‘ it’s not her fault that her SO is a jerk ‘ but it is her fault he is a jerk and, I really hurt her feelings by calling her a homophobic. I’m starting to feel bad because Easter is next month and I still hosting so she would be able to come
So AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Calling Off My Friend's Birthday Party But Not Returning Her Money?
“So I (26 M) have been best friends with Amanda (26 F) since we’ve been 10ish. We have our own guy/girl friends but we have always had a really tight bond as friends. So I live on a lake and have a boat. Amanda has two friends Bella and Sam that I’ve started to hang out with more through Amanda.
I’m definitely the host of the group. I enjoy throwing pregame/after parties, along with bringing my friends on the boat. I’ve taken A-B-S (Amanda, Bella, Sam) countless times on my boat. And they have hung out at my place frequently. I love to make food for my friends late at night and don’t ever ask for a thing in return.
I only sometimes ask for gas money for the boat.
Amanda’s birthday is next weekend and we planned a group trip. Some of my guy friends, a few of our girl friends, and then A-B-S. We are gonna take my boat up to a lake house for a weekend. I had everyone Venmo me for the place, gas, and cleaning fee.
It was 50 dollars for everyone. Plan was to take work off on Friday and everyone carpool. So my friend Kirsten came to me yesterday and showed me a screenshot of a group chat. It was A-B-S and a few other girls from our group talking about the trip. The girls were asking what they should bring for booze and the jist of what was said by B and S was that I was a ‘free food’ guy and that they were sure I’d have extra.
Amanda didn’t add on or defend me. She laughed at one of the messages. I won’t go into all the detail but they basically called me a simp. I was pretty mad and felt like a moron as I felt like these girls were my friends.
So I threw A-B-S in a group chat.
With a screenshot of the message. And said, ‘Hey free food guy here, just wanted to let y’all know that the trip will be going on without y’all, hope you have a good weekend’. Amanda immediately called me and texted me paragraphs of her apology. I told her I didn’t care and she was just apologizing because she lost her party.
She got really mad and said that it was because she was afraid she just lost her best friend. I told her that I saw how she viewed me in those messages. B and S asked about a refund for their money. I told them that I would be holding onto it as a repayment for all the free food and boat rides.
They started to argue and I told them to bring me to court. Amanda has been calling and texting nonstop since. And some of my friends have reached out in defense of her. But others, including all my guy friends. Think I did fine and actually was too nice to them. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Not Wanting My Husband In The Delivery Room When I Give Birth?
“I’m 22 weeks pregnant. My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. We are not planning to have a baby but we decided we are in a position to start a family now.
My husband has been really great and he has stepped up. Things are fine but he has become really despondent. He used to be incredibly cheerful but something has changed. He often talks about our child and how we are planning to do it. It is just, how do I put it? He says weird stuff like that he is jealous of me and he wished he was the one pregnant.
He has told me that he feels incredibly upset but he doesn’t know why. He just wants to focus on me and the baby for a while but I’m really worried about him. He used to be a very talkative person but now he talks a lot less.
I finally snapped when he started to not sleep at night and walk around the yard.
I really don’t want to be this stressed out when I’m pregnant. I suggested therapy but he brushed it off and said he didn’t want us to pay for therapy when we could be saving for our child and said he was fine. I didn’t push but he sleeps less now and he looks ever sadder.
I really lost it with him and told him that he needs to get therapy and the way he is behaving is really unlike him and said I wouldn’t let him into the delivery room. He is upset and he is considering it, he is planning to go to therapy but he is very upset with me for the way I strong-armed him.
I feel horrible about this because he hasn’t really let me down during the pregnancy and he has been on top of everything that needs to be taken care of. I don’t have anything to complain about and I feel so guilty about this.”
And I don't think you are doing anything other than what a concerned loved one would do. I also do not think you are being unfair about the delivery room. You need to focue on a safe delivery and you can not be worrying about him and concentrating on yiur baby. Baby is #1.
10. AITJ For How I Respond To People When They Ask Me Why I'm Single?
“I (36-year-old single female) get asked why am I single a lot and since it comes from co-workers, extended family, friends of friends then responding rudely by saying ‘none of your darn business sweetie’.
Still didn’t seem to work (not anymore. LOL). I try to keep good relationships with those around me for a number of reasons, but this question just annoys me. Especially since the reason why I’m single is pretty traumatic and so very personal. They feel sorry for me I can see it because they’d list all my good traits then say it’s a shame that no man is willing to ‘win’ it.
What?!
Unfortunately, I get caught off guard a lot by people (especially women) asking this question but since I can’t control the fact that they ask (I really wish they’d just leave me the heck alone) I decided to use this method that I came up with very recently.
For example, if a woman asks why I’m still single I’d just tell her ‘Because I still haven’t met your husband/partner yet.’ While acting somewhat flirty at the moment.
So far it seemed to shut them up. It’s kind of passive-aggressive, yes. But I just feel some sort of power doing it.
Well, a few weeks ago, my sister introduced me to her partner’s sister and once she sits down she asks ‘How old are you?’ I tell her and she gasps and goes on to ask ‘Why are you still single?’ I look at her and say ‘It’s because I still haven’t met your partner yet’ (she has a partner, yay her) in the flirtiest tone I could muster while also pulling ‘the duck face’ pose.
She looks at me in utter shock then puts her coffee down while my sister stares at me like what?!
The conversation gets awkward and minutes later she gets up saying she wasn’t feeling well and leaves quietly. My sister blows up at me asking what I just said and I started arguing with her about how this woman was a snoop.
She told me to get over myself and ‘act my age’ and stop being childish which she assumed is the reason why I’m single and will always be ‘because no man wants to be with such a nutjob’. Her partner said I upset his sister and is expecting apologies from me because of what I said to her.
So, AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Insisting My Significant Other Learns British Sign Language?
“I’m a 24-year-old woman who is deaf. I have been seeing my significant other, who is also 24, for five months. He is the first hearing person that I’ve dated so it has been a learning experience for both of us. We met on social media through shared friends and we use our phones to primarily communicate.
I am fine using this way of communicating but it can be a bit annoying when sometimes I just want the phones away and to communicate with him one on one. I suggested maybe he could try picking up British Sign Language (BSL) and told him I’d even help him learn. There was no rush and I didn’t expect him to become fluent overnight but I thought it was something we could share.
He isn’t keen on learning though as he thinks it will be hard and the phone works well for us. He then suggested I should consider getting a cochlear implant as I’d be able to ‘hear’ him then and we wouldn’t need the phones. This shocked me. I won’t lie. I’m happy as I am.
I don’t want to take the risks in getting it plus I don’t feel the need to be ‘fixed’ so to speak, some deaf people want the implant and I don’t judge them it’s a very personal choice but it’s not for me.
I told him this and he doesn’t get it pointing out how good it’d be if I could hear him (which as someone born deaf the results would likely not be as good as he’s thinking), and how my life could be so much easier.
I ended the conversation there telling him that it was not going to happen and that if he wants us to continue he needs to make an effort to learn BSL and understand me as a deaf person and that I needed a little space right now.
I’ve not spoken to him since that day and now my temper has cooled a little I’m wondering if I was too harsh if I was wrong to get so upset at his suggestion and to tell him he needs to try with BSL as I said he’s the first hearing person I’ve dated so maybe I need to be more understanding to him.”
8. AITJ For Having An Argument With My Pregnant Wife?
“When I was 15 years old (M) and my sister was 2 years old, my mom passed away.
After her passing, my dad changed. He become emotionally unavailable and barely showed any concern about my sister’s upbringing. He was still financially available, as he would give me money at the end of each month and then just disappears. As a result, I took the parental role over my sister. I am the one who had to do everything a parent should do from cooking, advice, homework, emotional support etc. I basically raised her.
When she was 10, she asked if she can call me dad and it was the proudest moment of my life. I also consider her my daughter.
Now she is 22 years old, studying for her master’s degree and I am very proud of her. I also got married and my wife recently got pregnant. We were talking one night, and she said ‘I am very excited because you will finally get the child that you wanted’.
I did not like this comment but I gave her the benefit of the doubt, as I had to take responsibility for my sister at a young age. I can see where she is coming from. Then she continues ‘I always felt sorry for you, because you were stuck in that situation and were forced to waste years of your life raising a child that is not your responsibility instead of experiencing a young adult normal life, doing normal things.
But now you can get to experience the genuine thing’.
I was raging inside and told her ‘What do you mean ‘wasted’ all these years? I never once thought of those years like that. I am very proud that I was able to raise my daughter alone, despite what happened with our parents, into a healthy functioning adult.
Experience the genuine thing? She is my daughter. It is as genuine as it can get. Just because you did not give her birth that does not mean our father-daughter bond is not genuine’. She was shocked by how angry I said was just trying to comfort me. I said ‘Comfort me? Is this a joke?
you have clearly no clue about how I feel’. This happened last week and we still have not recovered from this conversation. So AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Suggesting My Brother Hires A British Sign Language Interpreter At His Wedding?
“I’m a 35-year-old woman who has been deaf since I was 6 years old. My husband is 38 and also deaf and we have an 8-year-old son who is also deaf though like my husband he was born deaf. My younger brother is getting married in the summer and he and my future sister-in-law are doing personalized vows.
I don’t want to miss out on the vows so I’ve asked my brother and his partner if he could get an interpreter for my family so we could understand, he was fine with it but his partner is not keen on the idea of having a stranger up beside them as they make their vows, my brother then suggested that our older sister could be the interpreter instead so it wouldn’t be a stranger, both he and our sister are fluent in British Sign Language as we learned it together when I became deaf to help me learn.
His partner again isn’t keen on this either as she apparently just wants it to be them up there. I understand it’s her day and as the sister of her husband-to-be I really don’t have any right to make demands but I’m a bit uncomfortable that she isn’t keen to make any kind of accommodations when joining a family where three members are deaf.
I don’t want to miss my brother’s wedding and will likely go even if she doesn’t let there be an interpreter but I don’t think my son will be going then. He’ll be bored as he won’t understand what is going on and being said without the interpreter and that isn’t a good recipe for a wedding.
My brother was clearly not happy about this and told me to leave it with him and he’d see what he could do, I know he’ll try but I also don’t want to cause trouble for him. AITJ in this case?”
6. AITJ For Telling My Spoiled Sister That She's Adopted?
“I (20 F) have a little sister (15 F) who we’ll call Sarah. So my parents adopted Sarah when she was a baby and I was 5 years old.
However, they never told her she was adopted and our whole family knows. As I grew older I told my parents she should know but they always brushed it off and got very defensive and said there was no need because they were her parents.
Fast forward to the other day, Sarah’s birthday is in a month and she’s planning somewhat of a sweet 16 at our house.
We’re all excited about it but the problem is she’s being really spoiled and entitled about it. For context, my parents were in a bad financial situation while I was growing up so I experienced a lot of hardship alongside them, but by the time Sarah was 11 they were in a much better situation so she got mostly everything she wanted. She played sports, and always had new clothes and the newest phones.
I never really held this against them as I understood it was out of their control. Now, she’s been very rude toward my parents insisting on things for her sweet 16 and then changing them last minute after my parents have begun to make arrangements.
The last straw was last night when we were at dinner.
She was talking about how excited she was for her party, and that she was mostly excited that it would be pink-themed. This confused my dad, as for weeks she’s been talking about how she wanted everything to be purple, and they already ordered everything to be purple. My dad let her know this and she flew off the rails.
She started calling my parents names and saying they were ‘going to ruin her birthday’ and calling them jerks. I stepped in and told her to stop being such a spoiled brat, she turned to me and goes ‘What would you know? As if you could ever have any of the things I’ve had’.
This struck a nerve, and I laughed and said, ‘You know the only reason they give you all these things is to overcompensate for the fact that you’re not their daughter right?’
My parents’ faces turned white like I’d never seen before. My sister laughed at first and took it as me being annoying until she turned and saw their reaction.
She demanded to know the truth and my mom just cried and couldn’t say anything. My dad tried to get up and hug my sister but she wasn’t having it. My sister began to cry and she ran out of the house and hasn’t been back since. She’s staying at her best friend’s house and says she never wants to see any of us again.
Since then, my parents have been berating me and accusing me of tearing apart the family. They even told me they want me to move out as they can’t believe I would do something so cruel. I feel bad for hurting my sister and my parents, but I also think it was time she knew and she really was being a brat.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Wanting To Bring Our Newborn Baby To The Wedding Party?
“I (34 M) was supposed to be a groomsman in a wedding for 2 close friends, but I recently backed out 2 weeks before the scheduled ceremony because the bride and groom do not wish for my wife to attend with our son.
My wife gave birth to our first child 3 months ago and has been recovering at home while also looking after our son (I stayed home the first month and a half with her, but had to return to work due to my paternity leave ending).
The couple getting married are close friends of both my wife and I and we have known them as well as the other groomsmen and bridesmaids for years.
My wife was even supposed to be at the wedding party before she found out she was pregnant.
The soon-to-be bride and groom had been very gracious and patient with my and my wife’s schedule leading up to the wedding and I have tried to be fair and contribute as much as the others. My wife was very excited to attend the wedding and we had been planning on bringing our son as my wife and I are not yet comfortable leaving him yet.
I didn’t think this would be a problem because this wasn’t a child-free wedding, but recently both the bride and groom reached out to me to ‘request’ my wife and I leave our son and not bring him to the wedding.
I explained that we were not comfortable leaving him, specifically my wife, and the bride and groom suggested my wife not attend the wedding at all if she was not comfortable leaving our son yet.
I told them I thought this was unfair considering other people in the party would be bringing their children but they said they singled us out because they don’t think ‘weddings are for babies’ and they also are worried about disruptions during the ceremony.
I told them that if my wife and son weren’t welcomed then I would not be attending.
Now the bride and groom are claiming I have disrupted everything and I even have other friends who are also a part of the party reaching out to both me and my wife for us to resolve this issue. I don’t plan on changing my mind because my wife was so excited to attend the wedding and I feel we were unfairly singled out.”
4. AITJ For Telling My Stepdaughter To Remove Their Framed Family Photos From All Over The House?
“I (M 37) have been with my wife for 2 years. I have a stepdaughter ‘Nancy’. She’s 16 and she’s difficult, so difficult to deal with.
She generally has little to no respect for me. She’d respond to me saying ‘What do you want weirdo?’, or ‘I’d do this or that once you divorce Mom and leave us alone!’.
Honestly? I don’t know what her problem is and I don’t care at this point. I still, however, expect her to respect me and my home and my boundaries.
Lately, I started seeing framed photos of her, her mom, and her dad being distributed around the house, like the living room shelf or the kitchen counter.
I brought it up with her and her first thought was ‘Hmm jealous much? Does it serve as a constant reminder of the fact that you broke this family up’. I have to admit… this made me mad beyond measure. I told her to remove them because I didn’t agree with having them around in my house, specifically not her dad.
She acted nonchalantly about my request and basically ignored me. I warned her that I’d remove them myself and she blew up at me saying this is her family, this is a part of her life and I should respect that. I reminded her this is my home and she should have some respect and stop leaving pictures of her ‘happy’ family around, period!
I encouraged her to take them to her dad’s house instead, that would be more appropriate in my opinion.
She kept arguing and then walked out while mumbling a curse under her breath. I ended up punishing her and then getting my wife to remove the photos. My wife kept asking me to let the punishment go since the photos are no long there but I refused because Nancy hurt my feelings and disrespected me in my own home.
She must’ve told her grandparents who came after me even on social media crying about mistreatment. And my wife has been acting like I started this and that I’m the one at fault or the one who deliberately was looking for a fight.”
3. WIBTJ If I Asked My Friend To Stop Talking Weirdly Around Me?
“A friend from high school recently moved back to the area and we have reconnected. We are in our mid-30s, and this is a small midwestern town.
I’ll call her Kate.
She and I used to be very good friends. We were both nerdy, artsy, and bookish. Her now husband was only in our high school senior year, but I remember that he was very into Monty Python and Bright Young Things, stuff like that. Kate liked those things too, and they hit it off.
He fit into our weird friend group pretty well. I’ll call him Kevin.
After high school, they both went to college in other states, and that was the end of our friendship.
Well, I guess they stayed together through college, because now they’ve got two kids, and Kevin does computery robotics stuff for a major company that just opened a branch in a large city about an hour away, and Kate is a ghostwriter and artist.
Since they moved back, they’ve gotten in contact with whoever they knew in the area. Some of us are still here, and at first, I was really happy to reconnect. They invited me to meet them for dinner but things got weird.
They haven’t changed. They are still really into old British television, so much so that they use British slang all the time.
They call things ‘brilliant’ and eat ‘sarnies’ and they quote Dr Who all the time. Their kids call them ‘Mummy and Daddy’. It was so embarrassing. When the waitress came, I was worried that they would order something stupid like ‘bubble and squeak’ but they didn’t act that way to her, thankfully. And also thankfully they don’t use fake British accents, but I think it sounds even weirder in our unaccented midwestern English.
Kate and I have met up a couple of times for coffee or lunch, and it’s so cringy that I am thinking about ghosting her. I don’t want to though, since I don’t have a lot of friends, and I am recently divorced, and I could really use a friend. I just don’t want to be embarrassed all the time when I’m with her.
Would I be a jerk if I asked her to stop talking weirdly around me?”
2. AITJ For Eating My Partner's Pizza While She's Asleep?
“I (27 m) recently moved in with my partner (25 f.) We’ve been together for a couple of years now.
I work the swing shift as a corrections officer at a jail and I don’t get home until a little after 3 am.
I also have a mix of weekdays and weekends off. She works a more traditional Monday through Friday 9-5 schedule.
The other night when I came home from work it had been a particularly chaotic night. I hadn’t had a chance to eat and I was starving. My partner was fast asleep. I had the next day off but she had to work.
I figured on making myself a sandwich or maybe some ramen noodles and then going to bed, but when I look in the refrigerator I saw a pizza box. I looked and saw that there were four slices of pizza left. I just figured ‘Well that was sweet of her; she ordered more pizza than she could eat so that I would have something to eat when I got home.’ So I warmed up three of the slices, watched an episode of ‘Masterchef’ on Hulu while I ate them, and then went to bed.
I woke up a little before noon the next day to a text message from my partner, telling me that I was an ‘inconsiderate jerk’ for eating her pizza. She said that she had intended the rest of the pizza to be her breakfast and lunch for the next day. I texted back that I was sorry, but that she should have put a note on the pizza box or texted me to let me know if she didn’t want me to eat it.
I also said that if she’s going to order food she should order enough for both of us; as I would do the same for her.
The way I see it; we live together now, so food in the refrigerator is up for grabs. But she’s still kind of mad at me, thinking that I was presumptuous in eating ‘her’ pizza.
AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Punishing My Daughter To Leaving School With Her Dad?
“I (F 35) and my ex-husband (M 37) got separated 1 year ago. We share custody of our 15-year-old daughter.
My ex-husband has her for certain days, and his birthday didn’t fall on one of these days. In fact, it fell on one of the days when my daughter is supposed to be with me. He called me so we could discuss letting him have my daughter on the day of his birthday but I told him no because it is not his day to have her, he got my daughter involved and she said she really wants to go but I said no because I have my reasons.
My ex-husband dropped it but on the day of his birthday, I went to pick my daughter up from school but I discovered that he came and took straight to the restaurant where his birthday party was taking place. I was fuming I called him but he didn’t pick up, I then called my daughter and she said she was with him.
I used the location feature to track her phone and got the address.
I showed up and interrupted the party. My ex-husband started arguing with me but I told him he had no consent to have my daughter with him that day but he said my daughter wanted to be there for his birthday. My former MIL tried to speak to me and I told her to stay out of it then told my daughter to grab her stuff cause we were going home.
My ex-husband and family unloaded on me and I tried to ignore them and just leave but my daughter made it hard for me. I took her home eventually and grounded her for agreeing to leave school with her dad when it wasn’t his day.
Her dad called me, yelling about how bitter and spiteful I was to deprive my daughter of attending his birthday.
I told him it’s basic respect and boundaries but he claimed it was just me being spiteful and deliberately hurtful towards him that I didn’t even care how it affected my daughter. I hung up but more of his family members started blasting me on social media saying I showed up and made a scene at the restaurant.
Went as far as calling me ‘unstable’.”
