People Can't Handle These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
28. AITJ For Wanting To Bring A Female Friend As My Date To A Party?
“I 38F was invited by one of my childhood friends to her birthday.
We are not super close but also not estranged. She invited me over to her house for a party with about 30 people that I don’t know. Most of them come with their partners. I’ve got to mention I’m an introvert and it’s super exhausting and unpleasant for me to make conversation with strangers, would probably hide in a corner all evening.
In any case, she’s super excited about this event and made a group on WhatsApp over a month ago with plans for the “big day”, she posts pics with herself, songs, plans, dress code, etc.
Anyway, I want to know if AITJ for asking her if I could bring a date.
She agreed, but after she agreed I told her my date is another female friend, let’s call her Anna. She asked me if I had a partner, told her I did but he couldn’t come she told me she felt uncomfortable with me bringing Anna over to another house because was never at her house.
I’ve got to mention she wasn’t at my partner’s house either. She doesn’t know him as she probably doesn’t know the rest of the partners.
She called me the next day and insisted she wasn’t comfortable with Anna ( I think they even met a few times hanging out, but had no interaction), but asked me to come earlier to do her makeup.
In any case, I decided not to go and I made plans with Anna and another group of women to go to a festival that evening. Would I be the jerk if 3 days prior to the party I pass by her office with a gift and tell her I can’t make it to her event?
She gave a deadline of 2 days before the event for confirmation. I was thinking of telling her the truth actually, that it’s difficult for me to be alone in such a large group and that I wish her a great party but that I made different plans.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. This says it all, sadly: “Anyway I want to know if AITJ for asking her if I could bring a date. She agreed, but after she agreed I told her my date is another female friend, let’s call her Anna.
She asked me if I had a partner, told her I did but he couldn’t come and she told me she felt uncomfortable with me bringing Anna over to her house” There’s some wonky stuff going on in your friend’s head that’s making life harder for you.
Drop off the gift, play nice, and expect this to be the last time the ‘friend’ contacts you.” BetweenWeebandOtaku
Another User Comments:
“NTJ and please be honest with Anna, if you ever want to keep up ‘friendships’ with that group. Don’t worry about making up the ‘other plans’ stuff to not offend her, she offended you first by declining to let you bring someone to this big party.
So, you’re deciding you don’t like the new terms and you were looking to enjoy the night with everyone, but with your friend as well, and she has said no to it, so it’s not going to be the fun you were hoping. “I’m sorry Anna but I was hoping to have a friend with me like everyone else is, it kind of put me off that you refused. I’m going to decline, but I hope you have a nice night’.
It may feel awkward (I’m a people pleaser so I get it) but this is what it looks like when you stand up for yourself. Do you think she felt awkward telling you (for no good reason) ‘No, you can’t bring a friend even though I did say you could bring a partner’?
I mean, she can’t even defend that. Stand up for yourself, and go have fun with your other friends. You won’t regret it.” Canadian_01
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I would go ahead and tell her now that you’ve realized that you had forgotten that you had already made another commitment when you accepted her invitation, so regretfully you won’t be able to make it.
If she tries to get info out of you about your plans that she can use to try to change your mind, deflect that. “It’s something I can’t reschedule, really a shame. I’m sure your party will be a lot of fun.
Have you chosen your outfit yet?”.” NotThisAgain234
27. AITJ For Not Wanting My Troublesome Sister To Move Into My House?
“My (26) mom (52) wants to bring my sister (36) to live in my house that my mom helped put the down payment for but under hers and my husband’s name. She would never have gotten a loan without him. I have my two boys 7 and 3, and a baby on the way due in June.
My mom has my little sister (17). Our house is an L with me on one side and her on the other and everything else is shared. One side is “mine” and the other “hers” according to her.
She wants to bring my older sister to live with us because she cannot find affordable stable housing in the big city that we came from (I live in a town about 45 minutes away).
My sister is a horrid person and she chooses absolute trash to be in a relationship with. She always dates substance addicts and macho men who screw her over and create so much drama with my mom. She is always communicating back and forth with our other family members and speaking ill of everyone keeping tabs on me.
My sister had her partner install the floor when I first got my house and he messed up all of the tiles. I still get mad about it when I notice how uneven it all is. I had to pay for it. Money wasted. She antagonizes my kids and they do not like her.
She loves to critique and make my little sister and I feel bad. Nothing intelligent or decent comes out of her mouth. My sister has caused my mom so much heartache by screwing her over, calling social workers on her, and overall destroying my mom’s family.
My sister ruined my life due to her behavior when she was a teenager.
When my older sister’s partner was working on the floor, he took forever on purpose and was drinking all the time, he was always just causing messes and ruining things we had fixed. She would come and help him and try to one-up me, or make fun of me and talk down to my mom.
My husband has said again and again that if my sister moves in, he’s taking his name off the loan or selling his share (whatever can be done to cut ties) and we’re moving. I can’t help but agree with him. My children come first and I don’t want them to grow up around these drama-causing people.
Or random strangers.
My mom called me a hateful person and said that she had a friend whose daughter was so evil and because she wouldn’t let her siblings move in, the old lady lost her house. My mom only speaks to me this way.
She embarrasses me and yells at me. She tells me I owe her because she gave birth to me. My mom has a family-first way of thinking but she kicked me out at 17 and has never welcomed me into her home when I needed help she expects me to extend that to everyone else meanwhile she treats me like garbage.
I think my mom hates me because I look like my dad but why doesn’t she hate my sister too who destroyed her marriage and caused me to be taken away? (My dad is to blame here too more than my sister.)
I think my mom is crazy, and my kids always come first but AITJ for trying to protect my marriage over family?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ for not wanting to live with your big sister. However, your mother co-owns the house and according to you, you have a clear separation on who lives in which part. Based on that she has a right to let whoever she wants to live on “her side”.
You should force the issue and get your own house. And by the way “giving birth” does not entitle your mom to your gratitude. Gratitude is earned not demanded.” ItIsNotAManual1984
Another User Comments:
“NTJ- Why did you agree to live with YOUR MOTHER in the first place?
She sounds like a toxic person. I think your family should cut ties and let your sister move in with your mother. Take your younger sister with you the moment she turns 18.” lostalldoubt86
26. AITJ For Kissing A Guy My Friend Had A Crush On?
“I went on a friend’s holiday a few weeks ago, there were a couple of different groups but I only really knew the people in mine (12 of us).
One of the nights a boy from one of the other groups was flirting with me, buying me drinks, etc. We had a quick little kiss towards the end of the night, very innocent. Anyway, one of my friends saw from a distance away and freaked out because apparently she likes him and they had flirted before on a different night out.
They never got together or were seeing each other or anything so there was no history. Anyway, I found out the next morning and apologized because I’m sure it was hurtful but I wasn’t aware of the situation. She said it was fine but not to tell anyone she was upset (everyone knew).
Anyway the next night one of the boys from the other group asked me about it and I just said I felt bad etc. Not really thinking too much about it, water under the bridge for me. She got upset at me for ‘spreading rumors’ even though that was not my intention, at that point, I wanted nothing to do with it.
Fast forward to when we got home from the holiday and the boy slides into my direct messages asking if I wanted to grab a drink sometime. I politely declined because honestly, the whole drama was too much for me. Anyway, the girl finds out because the boy tells his friend who texts her asking her to clear the air.
Things are tense between us now still, and it’s ruining the group dynamic. We were never very close but still, I’m uncomfortable about the whole thing and just wonder if I in some way am at fault?”
Another User Comments:
“Seems to me like you are easily influenced by others, if you liked the boy why not give him a chance?
Because your friend liked him first? Why even apologize when it wasn’t your fault? Are we in high school again?” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Seems like this is an HS/ College friend group. If she liked him, she should have asked him out. Your friend is looking for reasons to get attention.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, if they never were together or weren’t seeing each other at the time, her behavior is unreasonable. Just because they flirted a bit doesn’t mean she can control who he likes. This is harsh but, it’s psychotic behavior in my opinion.” Stauberryy
25. AITJ For Asking My Overworked Partner To Share Chores As I Return To School?
“Okay so let’s start by saying my partner has her Doctorate. Huge accomplishment and I’m very proud of her. I don’t have my degree but I served in the Navy as a nuclear operator for 10 years so I have a good job.
Not as good as hers but definitely middle class even with inflation. We’ve been together for a little over two years. The first year she was finishing up her doctorate and I was fully supportive. Then the past year she’s been new to her job and I have been fully supportive.
She also takes on private clients. I work a 40-hour week remote (she’s also remote) so I have taken on cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, folding, walking the dogs 4 of the 6 times a day, and dog appointments (they have stomach problems so we go at least once a week).
Her roles are filling up ice trays and putting clean folded laundry away. I also don’t want to sell her short. She pays for ALL of the vet visits which to be fair is a good chunk of change.
I’ve decided to go back to school and asked her to split the chores and responsibilities a little more and she got offended saying she does things.
She kind of does dishes once a week to say she helps. If we clean she cleans one of the two bedrooms and bathrooms and I clean everything else. Honestly, I was in the Navy so it doesn’t even bother me because I like having things done a specific way.
Anyway, I’ve decided to finish my degree. Shortly after I told her she told me she was applying for another fellowship and has her interview today.
I was on my way back from a doctor’s appointment and told her I would pick up dinner since I had too much homework to cook tonight.
I picked the place and asked her if she wanted her usual. She said yes but she was especially hungry and wanted something else. When I asked her to text me what else she wanted she said “I thought you could take something off of my plate” and I said I did literally everything else.
We eat here all the time, can’t you look it up and she got mad and hung up. So tell me, am I the jerk for sending her a message saying if looking up a menu is too much, please don’t take the fellowship.
It doesn’t seem fair to me or the dogs?”
Another User Comments:
“You’re not the jerk for wanting her to do more of her fair share, but YTJ for taking a conversation about a menu and trying to force her out of a life choice for it.
There are more effective ways to communicate and it sounds like that’s your frustration speaking, not you.” NoSalamander7749
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It sounds like you’ve been making her life so easy that all she has to do is focus on school and work. In relationships like yours, where one partner takes on the bulk of homework to help the other partner advance their career, it’s only fair that the supporting partner gets “their turn” when it’s time.
But she does not sound like a giver and will not support you back. That is wildly unfair and would have me questioning the relationship.” friendlily
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here since it sounds like you’re both making major life decisions without fully discussing them with the other person.
I agree with you that it’s fair to expect a little more equality in chores and such. But what’s with the dogs? That alone sounds like a full-time job…six walks a day and at least one vet visit a week” anonymom135
24. AITJ For Being Upset About Paying Shipping For A Gift?
“Someone sent me a package as a gift, and I had to pay for the shipping on the receiving end which was very expensive as it came from another country.
The cost of the items is more than the cost of the shipping so it compensates the cost, but I didn’t ask for any of this, and while the content of the package is very useful for me I feel like it’s not actually a gift because I paid for the shipping, even if it’s just a fraction of the cost of the items (like 30% the cost), it’s just like getting them at a discounted price.
I let the person know that I was very grateful but I was dying inside when I saw the shipping bill and had to pay it because what else was I supposed to do?
I don’t know if I’m overthinking it. I know I should be grateful but it sucks that I had to spend money on stuff I didn’t want to buy yet.
I’m trying to indirectly tell this person that I’m not happy about the cost of the shipping that I had to pay and they don’t say anything about paying it. I know they did it with good intentions but the money I spent on paying these shipping costs was meant for something else.
The part that bothers me the most is they packed up a bunch of useless stuff that I can get in my country dirt cheap thinking they were rare here or something. They also sent me useful stuff that I truly need along with those useless stuff, but I don’t see the point on increasing the weight of the package and hence the cost of it for me to pay it if it’s supposed to be a gift.
I’m considering telling this person directly that I’m not happy that I had to pay for the shipping cost even though the items exceed the amount I paid because I expected it to be a gift, WIBTJ?”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. You were probably paying duty taxes.
Your friend was just trying to make a nice gesture and meant no harm. She probably forgot to mark it as a gift. You were in your right to refuse the package when arrived and chose not to. You can still be upset about the duty, however.
I would just learn from this experience in the future.” EmotionalScore8636
Another User Comments:
“YTJ, YOU had options, if you didn’t have the funds to cover the COD shipping you could have elected to not pick it up. It doesn’t matter if he would have been out the money for the product.
The bottom line is you chose to cover the COD shipping. This is on you. He sent the gift but put you on the hook for the shipping and you thought he would reimburse you without asking him straight up, first. Who cares if some items were useful to you?
YOU chose to cover the shipping costs.” many_hobbies_gal
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here – you didn’t have to pay for that shipping but you are using every excuse under the sun to justify it and trying to garner sympathy for yourself.
It’s a gift. A bonus… if your friend didn’t pay the shipping then you wouldn’t have it. You wouldn’t have had it anyway so there would be no loss to you. And your friend is a jerk for sending the parcel without paying for the shipping.
And because she packed the extra that you didn’t want or need likely meant that shipping cost more. Next time, don’t pay it and your friend may start paying it herself.” KitchenDismal9258
23. AITJ For Snapping At My Partner's Mom Who Disturbed My Rest Day?
“I (21F) live with my partner (21F) and her family. I’m on break from school for a week and completely burnt out and tired from the past few weeks.
I allocated myself the rest days of Saturday (today), Sunday, and Monday.
I was at my desk, immersed and hyper-fixated on a painting I was doing while listening to music. My partner’s mom walks up to me and taps on my shoulder. This confused me because I had told my partner’s family that I have ADHD and I get hyper fixated on things, and it’s better to not disturb me until I’m done.
I turned around and this is how the conversation went:
Me: Yes, what is it?
Her: I was looking at your tasks timetable and saw you plan to not do anything for three days and waste the rest on tasks. The architectural drawings for next week Sunday seem like a fun cute task.
You could easily do it now, instead of wasting time later.
Me: No, they are actually a bit difficult for me. There is a reason I put it last.
Her: Oh come on, I’ll find you a video that teaches you how to do it!
Do all your tasks now and you’ll have more free time!
Me: No. That is what my timetable is. I am not changing it. I do not care what you think about when I should do things.
Her: Who do you think you’re talking to?!
I was just trying to help you, you know how bad it feels for you to treat me like that? God you really lack empathy.
She then proceeded to call her husband who just said he wasn’t involving himself in a matter that didn’t relate to him.
She shouted at me in a tone that made it clear she wanted me to feel horrible about how she didn’t like my tone and I had no idea what it is like to be her. I just sat there telling her over and over ‘Please leave me be.
Rest day. I’m not talking about tasks today. I was having a good day. I was having a good day for once please leave me be.’
She called me a little jerk as she turned off the light and left. I feel really put off any kind of art now and I feel really guilty even though my partner says I shouldn’t.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“At the risk of getting hammered on the downvotes the way you relate the conversation, it sounds like you were rude to her to start with and then you switched into passive victim behavior when other people got involved. I’ve taken a look through your post history and it’s not the first time you’ve got into a disagreement with her and been rude with her.
You sound to me very self-entitled for a person who is living in someone else’s house. Moreover, I think you use your ADHD status as an excuse even to the extent that you’ve made it your username. There are plenty of people with ADHD and they don’t go around behaving like you do.
YTJ” AffectionateTruck984
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here – You should be careful who you are speaking to, as she’s one of the people providing for you. You both were being rude to each other in that conversation. This leads to the more important question: Why is she providing for you and your partner?
You’re both grown adults. Get jobs and get your own place. Problem solved.” Max_Danger_Power
22. AITJ For Telling My Friend Not To Mock A Rude Man's Weight?
“My friend and I were shopping two nights ago and we bought a decent amount of groceries.
There was only one checkout lane open and while we were checking out, there was a middle-aged guy behind us who seemed really impatient throughout the process, based on his face and he had his arms crossed. The cashier was very polite and cracked jokes with us, and when my friend paid, at first he accidentally put his credit card in backward.
It took us a few seconds to realize this and then the cashier said “My good man, your card is in backward!” My friend laughed and put it in the right way, and as he did this, the man behind us said, somewhat softly, but loud enough for us to hear him “brainless.”
On the walk back in the parking lot, my friend was like “Dude what was up with that guy behind us? So impatient.” I agreed, saying the dude looked like he had a stick up his butt, saying it was incredibly rude for him to call him brainless like that.
My friend then said “I might not have a brain, but at least I also don’t have a giant beer belly.” (The man was very overweight). I told my friend “Well, he was terrible, but I don’t think we need to go there.” For perspective, both my friend and I are thin, but my brother was ruthlessly bullied for being overweight in high school, and my friend is aware of this.
So when people mock others for their weight, it does not sit well with me, even in the case of this man who was very rude.
My friend responded saying “Well, it’s true.” I again told my friend that while I agree that it was horrible for that man to insult him, it is not okay to mock other people’s weight.
I explained that even bad people should not be mocked for certain things, and weight, along with race, gender, and sexuality is one of those things. He got defensive, saying I was sympathizing with the rude man, and said that it was “Stupid” for me to put weight in the same category as race, gender, and orientation.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ you’re exactly right. Yes make fun of his behavior, but don’t make fun of his appearance and stuff he can’t instantly change. It that thing of if you make fun of a bad person’s appearance someone good with the same kind of appearance could feel bad if they heard those comments.” emotionalcloud29
Another User Comments:
“He needed to find something that he could be glad he didn’t have that the man had. At least he didn’t say it so the man heard. I can see also why you are sensitive to such. Sounds like it isn’t a dealbreaker.
NTJ. My MIL would look overweight people up and down like whoa, strangers to her. It was so much worse than what your friend said to you. Gain a few and she jumped on it. If she knew she was going to be weighed by a nurse, she would start pacing what she ate a few days before.
I noticed. And when she was feeble she needed all those 115 lbs. Hospice putting scales in her home was the worst idea ever I thought. And she noticed how much others put on their plates at a buffet. And would let you know how high their plate of food was, and they went for seconds.
Didn’t have to be somebody she knew. She scanned the room it seemed. If he had called the man a fatty then I would be aghast.” pensaha
Another User Comments:
“Honestly No jerks here in my opinion. When someone is being rude to me, they inherently lose that “respect” from me, and therefore will not get that respect back from me.
I think you standing up for what you believe in is cool, he’s not inherently wrong either. Weight doesn’t go in the same category as race or gender.” Firm-Character-6852
21. AITJ For Not Wanting To Attend My Pregnant Sister's Baby Shower Due To Our Living Situation?
“I (16F) don’t want to attend my (25F) sister “Angela’s” baby shower. When finding out she was pregnant I didn’t have an opinion since I believed she would be moving out and my room would become my own.
She didn’t move out and has been planning her baby shower to be in the middle of December since she is due in January of next year. I was in shock because we barely had enough room in our home with 5 of us including myself.
So how could we shelter another kid? I voiced my opinion to my mom because Angela and I have never gotten along. My mom said we would just keep her kid in my room which I found completely unfair as I would have to share a room with her and her kid too now.
My room is fairly small and our two beds take up all the room. I was just confused about where we had the space for this kid and the money. Angela is also unemployed and lives off my parents. She sometimes helps around the house but uses the excuse she is pregnant to not do work.
Because of this, I have been upset and my other sister Ruby (28F) was upset at first but now is helping plan this baby shower. I have fully expressed I do not wish to attend and have a get-together that day anyway with some friends.
I’ve received backlash from my mom and Angela that it’s not the kid’s fault and I should be there for Angela. My dad doesn’t support this pregnancy either but is slowly helping out Angela, and my sister Ruby is neutral. She is attending the baby shower but understands why I can not be there.
So AITJ??
The father of the child is not involved in Angela’s life. He didn’t support the pregnancy and my parents disliked him because he didn’t support my sister financially or take any responsibility when he found out she was pregnant. And Ruby does still live with us as well but she is employed and pays a good chunk of the bills.
She and my dad pay the bills. And as of where I have been sleeping, I have been sleeping in Ruby’s room having to share a bed with her. Her room is noticeably smaller than mine.”
Another User Comments:
“Aw, man. You are thinking small here, little friend.
You should go to the shower. You should tell everyone what the living arrangements are gonna be and how you’re so worried about where the baby’s new stuff is gonna go. You should air your sister’s dirty laundry all over that party. Get that Aunty Shame working for you lol.
NTJ. It’s not your room, it’s hers now and she’s gonna force you out. Your mom’s ok with it.” Kitastrophe8503
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Having a baby in your room is insane. A crying baby in the middle of the night, waking you up at 16?
How will you attend school? How will you complete homework? This is not manageable. If your sister cannot move out, can you? Do you have a relative close by with an extra bedroom? Not going to the shower is the least of your worries.” Beautiful-Report58
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your complaints are fair. Here’s a suggestion, at some point suggest that you’ve met a guy on the internet who will give you a place to live. I actually had a 17-year-old tenant who left a crowded problem home.
I’m not a creep and I’m not actually offering to rent you a flat but based on the conversations I had with my previous tenant’s parents, it will get their attention.” cobright
20. AITJ For Wanting To Uninvite My MIL From My Son's Birthday After Christening Outfit Incident?
“I (28)F and my partner (28)M had a son in 2022. The first grandchild in both sides of the family. My SIL, had a son 6 months later. SIL is wonderful, let’s call her Sarah and her son is a blessing let’s call him Jerry.
When my son, let’s call him Tom, was 3 months old I asked MIL for the family christening outfit. She told my partner let’s call him Bob and I that she will try and find it but she reckons it would be all yellow with age.
Weeks went by and nothing, even after asking a few more times. A month before Tom’s christening and nothing. So I had to go out and get one. Tom had his christening, which she attended. Moving on 4 months later it was Jerry’s christening….. and guess what made an appearance.
If you guessed the family christening outfit in all its beauty and white, gold star for you.
She has tried to cause trouble before but this was her Grandson and we never thought she would go as far as this. It is the same christening outfit Tom’s father was christened in and the rest of his aunties and uncles.
So there was meaning in its use and it would have been returned.
Now to the point of “Would I be the jerk”. Tom’s 1st birthday is in 3 weeks and we are having a party for him. We invited all the family however would I be the jerk for uninviting her and banning her from the house?
Let it also be known that she would go visit Jerry and SIL frequently who lives 40 minutes away while we live 5 minutes walk from her door and have only come to see Tom 5 times in the last 6 months.”
Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ for uninviting her.
You’d have been fine to not have invited her, and you’re fine if you don’t invite her to any future events. She has not given you a large and obvious enough reason to uninvite her. Also, FYI, the problem MIL has may not be about your son but about either you or your husband.” extinct_diplodocus
Another User Comments:
“If you’ve already invited her, YWBTJ for uninviting her. Just because she’s been a pain in the backside, doesn’t mean you have to respond to her. To be honest it’s possible she might not turn up, be prepared for that. I think it might be useful to look up the “grey rock” technique and use that on her.
Spend your time focusing on building and maintaining the relationship with SIL and her son… Is SIL your MIL’s daughter? Or daughter in law?” firefly232
19. AITJ For Selling Baby Items Instead Of Giving Them To Family?
“I got SO MUCH of the same stuff that are extras and I’m trying to sell them on Marketplace for some extra cash because we are struggling a bit right now, as my partner’s hours may change.
My MIL informed me of someone in the family who is expecting a baby any day now *this was a few weeks ago, and she’s now had the baby, which is their second or third kid, according to my partner.*
My daughter is now in size 4 diapers and we had a package of 3s left, I have no problem with her bringing that to the family member, I’ve given away free diapers before just because our baby shower had an amazing turnout and we didn’t need to buy diapers until the 5-month mark.
Anyway, my MIL sees me listing this bundle, it includes 3 teethers, a toy I have THREE of, and do not need another of, and a 3-month clothing item. I’m selling it for $15, which is cheap considering the entire bundle is $30-$40. I also said I’m giving away more 0-3 or 3-6 freebies if they buy the bundle.
Kids are expensive, kids!!
She calls me, furious that I didn’t think to give the bundle to the family considering they have a girl. I asked my partner beforehand if it was their first kid or second. I feel that that matters mostly because it shows they either do or don’t need it.
My MIL is angry saying “How dare you assume they can’t afford this child! How stupid do you think they are!?” I tell her, I’m sorry, but when people plan to have a second (third???) child together, typically make sure they can afford it. I also have over 11 listings to try and bring in around $70, I want to give my daughter a fantastic birthday/Christmas.
She’s not happy I’m not giving away the bundle. So, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Most parents keep their first child’s clothing when they plan on maybe having more children, leaving them with more than enough for baby no. 2. Your MIL is quite a piece of work!
I hope she’s not like this generally! Since money is tight, I think it’s a smart decision you made to sell your kiddo’s clothes. I wish you success and hope you can give your little one a great party!” Cattitude0812
Another User Comments:
“I think YTJ.
I readily passed on my daughter’s stuff to anyone who needed it. (I kept some things that were hand-made and passed them to my infant niece, 10 years later.) Asked my mother why the spare room was full of my niece’s infant stuff when she was 10.
Mom said, “No one *deserves* it.” What a load of crap! Pass it on!” disco_has_been
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here. I mean, it would be so easy for you to give an item or two, beyond just diapers, to the other family.
Ideally with your second kid, you don’t need all the baby gear you did for your first, but would it kill you to give them one of your duplicate outfits? That said, why is your MIL making it her mission to force your hand?
She sounds controlling.” c0conutprism
18. AITJ For Refusing To Let My Cousin Stay With Me For $300 A Month?
“I moved to Los Angeles this year for a job that I was laid off from within 2 months.
I have been busting my butt to afford rent.
I have 3 other roommates. Somehow my Aunt heard of my struggles and she wanted to “help me” by letting my cousin visit me. She offered me $300 a month for the visit. Rent for me is close to $1500 for a room with utilities and my roommates who bust their butts night and day would be angry AND the landlord wouldn’t allow it.
I don’t even know how it got this far after I told my aunt and grandmother no. It can’t be done and it is not helping me at all. Now I hear that my cousin is coming out here around Christmas with $600. I told my mom I couldn’t swing it and my mom is like it’s temporary.
It’s like me talking to a wall with my family and I told them I cannot break the lease and my roommates are not letting my cousin live here. He can’t even stay a night.
My mom starts in but everyone got him a ticket for Christmas and the least I could do was take the money and give him a place.
I told my mom that $600 isn’t anything here. He can’t stay with me, he can’t visit, and if he shows up my roommates actually said he’d be arrested because I discussed this issue with them. He can’t move in.
My mom thinks we are being mean to my cousin but can’t afford rent and I have never known him to hold down a job.
It’s tough out here and good-paying jobs are hard to find.
My mom said I’m dead to my family because of this and I should be ashamed of myself but there’s nothing I can do about my cousin’s situation.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. $600 ain’t anything anywhere, especially in Cali, and all your roommates would be angry. Everyone is supposed to agree on who stays, and not even you want him to stay. I have a feeling your family is sending him with a one-way ticket to get rid of him.
Also $300 a month?? Sure, that’ll pay about a week and a half of groceries, great…” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Don’t let him crash even for a night. You’ll create an issue with your roommates/landlord and who knows if you’ll be able to get rid of your cousin afterward” BigZookeepergame4522
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Even if he came with one million dollars and a rainbow unicorn you still have every right to refuse someone entry to your home. Also, good on you for considering your roommates’ feelings and wishes on this topic because that’s something often overlooked.” [deleted]
17. AITJ For Wanting To Return My Ex-MIL's Glitter Bomb Gifts Unopened?
“My sons have been receiving gifts from their paternal grandmother (my ex-MIL for over 12 years) through the post office for about 7 years. She lives in another state. She has always sent confetti in the envelope.
Since I expect it, I’m careful in how I have my kids open mail from her.
I noticed in the last couple of years that the confetti is now just glitter and impossible to clean up. She even sent the kids dollar bills for every year of their age but twisted them into knots and taped confetti pockets to the ropes of cash within the envelopes.
Essentially, the money (gift) was in a trap of glitter and we are still cleaning it up months later. My boys think the glitter is annoying. But knowing her, this stunt is intended to harass me, not them. Plus we have dogs that we have had to keep out of that room so they don’t inhale the glitter and spread it around even more.
I know from experience that if I ask her to stop, she will ignore me and do whatever she wants anyway. She has been this way for 20 years. The post office says it is not illegal to send glitter or money through the mail. They did say I can report it to the police since it was sent with malicious intent to harass but she is in another state so I don’t think that would do anything.
I can also not accept it. At this point, I see behavior as crossing boundaries and want to return her packages unopened from now on; the kids are OK with it. They would prefer a thoughtful card over glitter packages filled with a few dollar bills anyway.
WIBTJ in returning her “gifts” unopened in the future?”
Another User Comments:
“Yes, YWBTJ, but I have a potentially better solution for you. Open the gifts outdoors over a garbage can and extract the money. For every glitter package she sends, use the money to offset the cost of sending her a glitter bomb of your own.
Let the kid who got glitter money help pick out the color or something if it’s an option. Places like ruin days dot com also allow you to send them anonymously. I love that they are spring-loaded, and you can pay extra for double and even triple glitter.
Vary the provider, so she doesn’t get used to the look of just one and not open the package. Hopefully, she will eventually get the message and finally stop sending glitter.” BeautifulPhantom1
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Do the kids ever visit ex-MIL? Or their father?
Or other family members from father’s side? If so, why not save the letters unopened, and bring them to paternal family members’ homes and open them there? Say you wanted to let the family share in the excitement of opening the presents there, with ex-MIL and her family.” DrTeethPhD
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I’ve never personally been glitter-bombed, but I’ve seen the mess they leave behind. I don’t blame you one bit for wanting to return the packages unopened.” WolfGoddess77
16. AITJ For Not Letting My Son Live With His Dad To Avoid Child Support?
“My baby daddy and I split up when our son turned 6 months.
Our son is now 15 and he’s been inconsistent with supporting him financially. He sees him on a regular basis, every other weekend during the school year and every other week during the summer.
He’s been behind on child support most of our son’s life.
In the past when I brought it up, he said he would feel better about paying child support if he paid me directly i/o the AG. I called the AG and confirmed he can pay me directly as long as I fill out a form and fax it to their office.
We agreed he would pay $200/month because that’s what he could afford for the full amount ($600/month) This lasted for 6 months. I brought it up a 2nd time and his response was, “Well you didn’t tell he needed anything so I figured y’all were good.” I don’t think I need to call him every time our son needs something because it’s no different than taking care of himself.
Fast forward to the present day. He doesn’t have a job or a car and is working under the table. I informed him he was $20,000 behind and that he needed to figure out a way he could start paying. His suggestion is that our son come live with him and he’ll financially support everything.
I told him that wasn’t an option. In my eyes, if you can’t afford to pay his child support, he can’t afford to take care of our son. His dad said teen boys need to be with their dad and I’m doing this so I can get money from him.
AITJ for saying no, our son will continue to live with me? I know this is a stupid question but I have a hard time putting my foot down and I don’t want my son to think I’m trying to keep him from his dad.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If your son were asking, it would be different, but your ex is saying outright that he wants your son to move in so he can avoid paying child support.” Internal_Progress404
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your son hasn’t expressed any kind of opinion, has he?
Most of all, your child requires stability (emotional, and financial) and thus it is his dad who is “keeping money away” from his son. Now, he has just revealed that he is fully capable of paying for his son’s care and is working underground. He has also expressed ungratefulness for your efforts.
It is time to get a lawyer to pay back what he owes you. Though, make sure your son is on board, and try your best not to strain your relationship.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You’re keeping your son from getting into an uncomfortable situation where he could be neglected. Especially since you’ve mentioned your son understands where you come from and has an iffy relationship with BD.
Keep doing what’s best for yourself and your son.” ClauzzieHowlbrance
15. AITJ For Refusing To Reimburse My Aunt For The Memorial Gathering She Planned?
“My estranged father passed away three months ago. I was contacted as the closest relative, and after I contacted my aunt, my father’s sister, with whom I did not have contact either.
There was a ‘formal’ meeting the day after, which traditionally is where you see the departed, and an undertaker is selected. I went, with my mother (for moral support) and my aunt also came (I said if she wanted to she could).
When it came to selecting the undertaker, I said I would not select one, since
1. I honestly did not care. (I did not say it with these exact words)
2. I did not want to risk being stuck with the bill if he had left no money to cover it.
My aunt got mad and decided she would be selecting one which was fine by me.
It turned out that my father had some money and the official things (the funeral) were paid before I got my inheritance. The problem is the money did not cover the memorial gathering that my aunt decided to hold after the funeral. Now my aunt insists that I reimburse her.
She apparently thought that would be covered before I got the inheritance, and knew that he had some money/valuable stuff. I was not present at the funeral or the gathering after, and I had made it clear that I did not want anything to be planned. The inheritance could pay for the gathering but not much would be left, and I honestly would rather pay for the therapy debt which my father’s fault.
So, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Your aunt chose to have a memorial gathering, which from what you wrote, is not traditionally considered part of the funeral or else the estate would have covered the expense. No one knew how much money your father had when he passed, yet your aunt decided to throw a party.
Let her cover it as her last gift to her brother. Hugs” QuinGood
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your aunt doesn’t get to decide how your inheritance is spent. She made decisions and paid for expenditures before understanding what she was doing. This is on her.
If you wanted to preserve family relationships then you might consider partial reimbursement, but I don’t think you’d be wrong to refuse outright given her demands. With family like this…yikes.” IamIrene
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It sounds like a complicated situation, but based on what you’ve described, you were clear about your boundaries from the beginning.
Legally, and in many cultures, funeral expenses are typically deducted from the estate before inheritance is divided. If your aunt decided on additional events beyond what the estate covered, that’s on her.” Hidden-Cow-Level
14. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mom To Use My Rented Suite's Bathroom?
“I (22M) live with my parents still. The way our house is designed is that there is an Elders Suite (which is basically a full apartment) above our connected garage. My Mom’s parents used to live there up until they passed, but now she wants me to move up there.
I did and have been living there for the last 3-ish years (I have been paying rent for the last year). The problem I am having is that she keeps coming upstairs at any point during the day and uses my bathroom when she has one of her own downstairs.
She claims she “couldn’t make it to that one”. My mom is an absolute clean freak and refuses to let anyone, except maybe guests, use the downstairs bathroom.
The main reason why I have a problem with my mom coming upstairs unannounced and using my bathroom is that she tends to linger and snoop around the suite whenever I’m not home.
She denies it but I know for a fact she does, as she’ll ask me particular questions that give away that she is snooping through my stuff. Another reason why I dislike this occurring is that my bedroom is right next to the bathroom and I need to leave the door open so that it doesn’t get too hot in my room with my PC going.
I am usually on calls with friends and such and I don’t want my mom to hear anything. I know it sounds like I might be hiding something, but I’m not. I just like my privacy.
I do love my mother very much and I understand that it is my PARENTS house.
However, this is a constant argument among me and my mom and I just want this to be solved for good. I’m curious from an outsider’s point of view if I am blowing things out of proportion. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – You should put an edit in your original post that you pay rent.
If you pay rent, you’re entitled to privacy; it doesn’t matter that your landlords are also your parents.” neoncactusfields
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You pay rent, your mom is obviously snooping and no one has to pee that bad multiple times a day that they can’t make it to the other bathroom.
That being said, nothing is going to make her behavior change, the only solution is for you to move out.” MyRockySpine
13. AITJ For Giving My Ex One Month To Move Out Of My House?
“I (26F) have lived with my partner (29M) for a few years.
We went to therapy for relationship problems and afterward, I felt seen/heard while he said he needed to decide if it was worth it to stay with me. I told him I’d help him decide by telling him I wanted to separate. We’ve slept in separate rooms for six months.
Last month he told me that he wanted to use social apps because he wasn’t getting intimate with me. He told me my options were to get back together with him or that he would move out and we’d split custody of our pets. He said he’d give me time to think it over.
I finally realized that I’ll never be happy in this limbo and that it’s time for us to go our separate ways.
Last week I let him know that he needs to move out of my home. I’m not trying to rush him out because I want to remain civil.
He won’t give me a time frame for his move-out because he wants to buy a house. He won’t move in with his parents because he says they won’t take his pet, and I can’t keep the pet permanently. He wants his family to buy him a house.
His family recommended he look at apartments but he has said that he couldn’t see himself in an apartment because he likes the privacy a house will give him.
Unfortunately, the houses around here are very pricey and he would need roommates to pay for a house.
He won’t set a move-out date because he has nowhere to live with his pet. Am I the jerk because I want to give him one month to move out; he can either rent an apartment or live with his parents while he searches for a house.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ this is YOUR EX: So none of this is YOUR drama. ”He won’t set a move-out date ” He has lingered around for 6 months. So YOU need to set a move-out date for him. Give him 6 weeks, and tell him he has to be gone by then.
If he has not made any plans in the next two weeks, serve him formal eviction papers.” Aggressive-Mind-2085
Another User Comments:
“This is really just going to be a legal issue more than anything. Do you own your home or rent? If you rent and he is on the lease, you can’t really get him out unless he does something in violation of the rental agreement.
If you rent and he is not on the lease or you own your own home he has likely been there long enough to establish tenant rights. You need to give notice per your state’s requirements and then serve an eviction after that. Those laws are there to establish a fair period of time to find other accommodations.
As long as you follow them, No jerks here with regards to moving.” Throwaway12467e357
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Give him the managed notice period in your state and tell him to go, otherwise, he’ll keep using you for free housing. Wants to buy because he likes privacy?
Really? Most people want privacy; people who want to buy often still rent because they can’t afford a house. You’re not costing him his happiness; you’re setting reasonable boundaries and moving on with your life like you should. He’s an entitled jerk because he thinks someone else should give him free housing and a whole free house, whether it’s you or his family.” VariousMastodon9779
12. AITJ For Telling My Overprotective Mom I Don't Want The Things She Buys For Me?
“I (38F) am visually impaired. Consequently, my mother has always been rather overprotective. In recent years, as I have become much more independent, her overprotective nature has taken the form of purchases.
I only have to mention something that I want to my mother and she’ll buy it for me.
Now keep in mind, I never mention these things in an ‘I want them so please buy them for me’ kind of way, but more in an ‘I must remember to get this when I’m next at the shops’ kind of way.
And my mother will often buy it for me. It’s nice of her, but we have very different styles in many things, so she buys me things that often I don’t like.
Sometimes she even buys me things that I never talked about wanting and that are not useful for me.
Such is the case for today.
She was going to the shop, and I asked her to buy me some salsa for a party I’m having on Thursday. I told her I would pay her back. However, when she returned, she had not bought me salsa as she couldn’t find any (fair enough) but she had bought me a bunch of other things.
She bought me a utensil holder for my kitchen when I already have one, and some Halloween plates for my party (not a Halloween party and goes against the theme of the party.) I told her I was extremely grateful for her taking the time out of her day to get me something nice, but that the things she bought were not useful to me.
She got very offended and basically started to guilt trip me for not taking them. I kind of feel like a jerk now. So am I?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Your mother is having a hard time not being the center of your attention. Your independence in spite of your disability is affecting her and she is having difficulty letting go.
Set firm boundaries and stick to them. If mom continues to push those boundaries it might be wise to recommend that she consult a therapist as to why she is having difficulty coming to terms with your inevitable adulthood and independence (this will probably not go over well).” AetaCapella
Another User Comments:
“When I wanted to move out on my own my mom said I could stay home & have my prospective roommate move in too, full use of house no rent. I took the tack of, Mom what if you get sick someday, I don’t know how to do laundry or cook, etc. and you would be worrying about me instead of focusing on getting well.
This way I can learn to adult and call you when I get stuck and then if something happened to you, you would be ok knowing I could take care of myself… Worked like a charm. Maybe a similar approach to your mother about buying/doing things for you as you become more independent…” User
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It is not helpful at all for someone to buy you stuff you don’t ask for or need. She is feeling less needed because you are gaining independence. No one is at fault for that. Maybe you could ask her to do some other things for you so she still feels needed. You also should have a talk with her about this because your independence is going to grow and you are going to need her less over time.
At some point, she will not be there for you, so making gradual changes must happen and you need her to listen to your needs closer in order for her to truly be helpful to you.” ConfusedAt63
11. AITJ For Getting Upset After My Online Friends Shared My Address As A Prank?
“My friends and I have been IRL and Discord friends for almost a year and we’ve gotten pretty close, but today they crossed a line, like seriously.
We were goofing around, I didn’t want to join a call because I didn’t want to and they were giving me a little bit of trouble for it and it was kind of funny at first. A little backstory, our friend group is quite small only 4 people but recently they introduced us to 4 more people over video games and they were kinda cool but we didn’t know them.
Eventually, I started annoying the original dude who asked me to join the call and he started an event on our discord where when it got enough votes he would release my address ( I didn’t mind because they do a lot of stuff like that but they never do it) so I didn’t immediately cuss him out.
But then it got enough votes and he actually released it. I told him to take it down and he did which was kinda cool but he started downplaying it as if it was no big deal and the 1 I was the closest with, seeing my reaction, started spamming my address in the chat with 4 people I didn’t know whether they wanted to release it or I don’t know.
So I got really mad told him to stop and even asked politely but he didn’t stop so I left the server and left him a dm telling him how messed up what he did was. But he kept downplaying it and called me a jerk for getting so mad over a prank and that it was kinda cool that I got doxxed and got mad at me and started making fun of me for getting mad.”
Another User Comments:
“Jesus. NTJ. He sounds like a jerk. That is pretty nuts. INFO: What are the other friends thinking about this? How … visible was your address? i.e. how was your address released? I’m not on Discord so don’t precisely know what sort of remediation can happen.
Is this against the TOS? Can he be reported in some way?” SoImaRedditUserNow
Another User Comments:
“My word, those discord “friends” are absolutely immature and mean-spirited jerks for what they did to you. I’m getting mad just thinking about it. No, you’re absolutely NTJ for getting upset about it for several reasons: 1.
DOXXing is serious and very dangerous. You don’t know these other 4 people, and you didn’t consent to letting them know where you live. 2. Even if they weren’t DOXXing you, and were doing something else you didn’t want them to, like calling you a nickname you hate or sending a silly picture of you (the possibilities are endless), the fact that they did it anyway (and even spammed it) as revenge for you not wanting to get on a call (which is only your right) or even as a joke is awful.
It is not funny to trample on someone’s boundaries, especially since you made it very clear that you didn’t want your address posted. 3. They didn’t care that you were upset whatsoever and tried to pretend that what they did was acceptable and even funny. They showed no compassion or consideration for you and insisted that they were in the right.
In friendships, even if you think someone is being unreasonable for being upset about something, you should care that they’re upset and try to talk things through. They clearly didn’t at all. That one friend even mocked you for being mad over something that is completely reasonable to be mad about.
I hope you find a new group of friends, OP, you deserve better than this.” Ketsueki_Pen
10. AITJ For Yelling At My Teacher Who Messed Up My Graduation Plan?
“Back when I was in high school, I went through a program at my school called the academy where it was online but you still had to go to school. This was for kids who wanted to graduate early or struggled in school (whether it be acting out or just not getting their work done.
(I wanted to graduate early as a junior)) I was told in the beginning that I only had a certain amount (I think around 6) classes left that I needed to get done and I was told this multiple times until I had completed all of them.
By the time I had completed all of them and thought I was finally done and graduated, my teacher told me that she actually forgot to add 8 classes and that it would take another couple of months for me to graduate. I had already had everything after I graduated planned and these extra couple of months completely messed up a lot of stuff.
At first, all I said was, “You told me multiple times that the 6 classes were all I had left…?” to which she responded with, “Oopsies! Well better get to work!” At this point, I lost my cool and said something along the lines of “You told me multiple darn times that these were the last classes I had!
I also told you multiple darn times about the plans I had right after I graduated and you even helped me plan with some of the dates, which is now all completely messed up!”
After I yelled she started crying and that’s the main reason I felt like such a jerk because I never had any issues with her before and sometimes I still feel bad about it because she was genuinely a nice teacher/person.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You may not have responded in the best way, but she has caused a lot of problems for you. To respond with Oopsies is incredibly patronizing of her. Is there any way the school can let you do them at home, seeing how she messed up?
If that would help.” MerlinBiggs
Another User Comments:
“Probably unprofessional for getting mad at her, but she was utterly unprofessional as well for her conduct. NTJ Assuming that this is still in the ballpark, talk to the academy’s student body coordinator and the head of your high school to discuss the situation.
They’re the ones who need to deal with the situation and ensure you don’t get further led off track.” Active_Tea9115
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Spend The Night At My Grandparents' With My Baby?
“My husband and I planned a get-together with my family about 1.5 hours away from our home with our 1-year-old.
I typically am pretty firm on making it a day trip since sleeping for my 1-year-old is already such a struggle. I don’t like to put him out of his element too much. But my grandparents (which is usually where we stay and visit) are insisting we come down and stay at least one night.
I agreed… but now my cousin, her partner and their 2-year-old are coming. Which is of course going to be so fun for the kids to get together but their nap and sleep schedules are vastly different! We all plan to arrive the same day just different times.
We’ll be there around 4p. They’ll be there around 6:30p and they’re supposed to be bringing dinner. My son typically goes to bed at 7p, which is fine, he’ll have dinner at his leisure. But I truly worry about how loud everyone will be and waking our son up when he already isn’t going to sleep well while we’re there.
The house isn’t all that big and I can’t ask everyone to be quiet during bedtime/nap time. I just don’t know how to approach any of this and I’m being told to suck it up, it’s one night, and that he’ll be fine etc… but I just don’t see the big deal in skipping all the hassle and just going for one day, it’s always worked for them in the past and I don’t know what’s so different this time for them.
We always arrive promptly in the am and we don’t leave till our son’s bedtime so he sleeps on the way home. I was trying to be considerate of their home and not making it so they have to change their nightly routines etc… Am I the jerk here?”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here but I don’t get how your plan would work if the idea is to have dinner with your cousin, as they aren’t arriving until 6:30 and it sounds like you would plan on leaving at 7. Dealing with sleep issues with babies/toddlers sucks, but I do kinda agree with your family that sometimes you just need to deal with some extra chaos.
The kid will survive. That said, if you really feel like you don’t want to do that, then feel free to leave at bedtime and if they give you grief feel free to ignore them.” poeadam
Another User Comments:
“No special occasion at all! Just a random weekend we are all free!
The drive isn’t a huge deal at all we do it at least twice a month to come see them and spend time with them! I feel like I’m so traumatized from the lack of sleep ever since my son as been born that breaking a routine is so hard for me to mentally fathom..” woldemi
Another User Comments:
“I’d rather sleep in my bed. (I have insomnia – not a toddler, which is much more difficult to manage, IMO.) But being at home is always preferable to sleeping somewhere else. Period. So, I don’t blame you. And people insisting that you stay over seem to think that their pleasure is what matters most to you.
It isn’t. NTJ. I would not like to stay overnight at someone’s home, (even my loving grandparents,) when I could stay in a hotel even. The privacy and avoiding the hurdy-gurdy of family for a brief respite is necessary for my sanity’s sake. (Dealing with my huge family is great fun and it’s also like being in a barrel of monkeys sometimes.) If I was only 90 minutes away from home, (and I used to commute longer than that to get to work every day,) home would be my preference.” AndSoItGoes24
8. AITJ For Telling My Sister Her Partner Should Pay For Her Disneyland Trip?
“My partner is taking me to Disneyland to see the Christmas decorations knowing Disney and Christmas are my favorite.
I have only been a few times and never stayed on the property.
My sister is wondering if she could tag along because she’s never been and could crash at our hotel. She goes off on how she could never afford it for herself. I’m not the biggest fan of her partner Tey.
He moved in with my parents (where my sister still lives) he really doesn’t help out and bounces from job to job.
He wasn’t at my parents when I said this but I told her maybe one day her partner can pay for your trip knowing darn well Tey doesn’t even pay for his groceries.
This sent my sister in tears to my father. While he doesn’t like Tey either he said that was mean and I shouldn’t be acting like that because my partner has yet to put a ring on it and I can find myself back home soon.
I left my parent’s home upset and my partner comforted me at our place (that I do pay half the rent on)
My mom who was working at the time heard what had happened and called me a major jerk.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ just because you and your partner are acting like adults and have money, it doesn’t mean you should have to get your partner to pay for your sister as well (it is not fair on him).
It doesn’t feel right that your parents would find it unreasonable for you to go away with your partner for a weekend just because your sister can’t come.” Ok-Conference3848
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, don’t accept this behavior from any of them. Your parents, especially Mom have made their choice.
Let them feel sorry for your sister. It’s not on you and your partner to fund her vacations. My parents used to try and sometimes succeeded in doing this garbage with me for my younger brothers. Now make your holiday plans excluding your family. There will likely come a point where they will invite you and simply reply based on our last conversation I won’t be where I am not wanted and stick to it.
I will say some of my most memorable holidays involved friends and students unable to travel home for the holidays.” many_hobbies_gal
7. AITJ For Telling My Partner Not To Co-Sign His Parents' $70,000 Loan?
“I love my partner and his family. (We have been together for two years). They are so sweet and treat me with so much respect and we have a great relationship. But, one thing I don’t like is how they take advantage of his finances.
He still lives at home but he pays his bills (car, phone, insurance), and pays rent and the utilities bill for the house. On top of that, his parents will ask to “borrow” money but they never end up paying him back and he is okay with it.
He lives paycheck to paycheck.
The other day my partner, male 22, told me, female 22, that his parents want him to co-sign a 70,000 loan. He told me that they wanted it to help pay off other loans and do some work on the house. He has the best credit score and makes the most in his family, meanwhile, his parents don’t make very much and have bad credit from previous loans.
He got mad when I told him that that was crazy and that he shouldn’t do it. I told him that he couldn’t be attached to that kind of financial commitment when he had no savings or foundation for himself. We got into more of an argument about it and he called me a jerk for not wanting him to help his family.
It’s not that I don’t want him to help his family, it’s just that he is so young and doesn’t have any financial stability to commit to that. I don’t know what to do because he is such a sweet guy and would sacrifice anything for the people he loves.
I just don’t want him to end up with so much debt and ruin his future financially.
Any advice?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, if his parents have a bad history of loans and their credit scores are low, then obviously he should not even touch that paper.
What he SHOULD do is help his parent get in touch with someone to help them with credit issues and that’s about it. And given he is paycheck to paycheck, how much is that ARP? A monthly bill to pay? Those loan sharks are no joke.” Raspberryandlaugh
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. One of my closest friends is stuck with enormous debt that his parents tricked him into assuming financial responsibility for on their behalf. I don’t know your partner’s relationship well enough at all to advise if a genuine assist can be made here, but the idea that a parent would knowingly do something so financially irresponsible, that if they fail they jeopardize their child’s future… It just reads to me as though they would make no reservations about letting their son take the fall for them.
I can already see the justifications being made when the music stops because “he makes the most” or something. I admit the number alone is giving me sticker shock and that’s primarily why I call it irresponsible.” Wrong_West
6. AITJ For Telling My Husband Not To Move Our Stepkids From Their Boarding School?
“I have been with my husband for 4 years (married for 1). He has 3 kids from his ex-wife. Admittedly he has a strained relationship with his kids because his ex-wife and he had a bitter divorce. She took the kids and left the country. There was a lot of parental alienation going on.
The kids live in a boarding school in their home country, they visit their mum on the weekends and spend holidays with us. Kids are 16,15,12.
4 months ago their mom sadly passed away. Now my husband has full custody and he wants to move the kids back once this semester finishes.
The kids don’t want this as they are comfortable in their boarding school and have their maternal family there as well. They have gone so far as to ask their maternal grandparents to fight for custody (they don’t have the means to do that.) My husband is still insistent, I told him he was being selfish.
After losing their mum it’s not a good idea to rip them away from their only other support system. That boarding school has been their home for most of their lives and to rip them away now would be cruel.
I suggest taking this more slowly or even moving there to be near them.
I work remotely and my husband can move his job. My husband is furious at me, accusing me of being an evil stepmom and hating the kids. He says he is rethinking our marriage. I don’t know what to do. I want what’s best for the kids.
They live in Northern Europe and we live in the U.S., I hate the schools here, not to mention all their extended family is there. I just don’t think they would react well to this change and it would only alienate them more. AITJ?
The main reason my husband doesn’t want to move back is his ex’s family. My husband’s parents and his ex (let’s call her Laura) were best friends so my husband and Laura grew up together. They started seeing each other at 19. At 20 my husband lost both his parents so Laura’s family took him in and supported him through university.
When Laura got pregnant with their youngest she said she wanted to move to the U.S. so they did with the help of her family. When the youngest was 1 year old a man reached out to my husband claiming to be the possible father of the kid.
Turns out Laura had been having an affair for 2 years and the whole family knew. That’s why they insisted on moving to the U.S. because Laura herself didn’t know who the father was and the guy wanted a paternity test. Long story short a test was done, hubby was the father, she moved back (with the financial support of her family) and my husband was left alone in the U.S.
Since then he has been NC with the whole family and bit his tongue for the sake of the kids but moving back would mean seeing them regularly. These were people he considered to be his second parents, Laura’s siblings he considered his siblings.”
Another User Comments:
“It sucks to be the only compassionate and thinking person in a couple, doesn’t it. OP, all your reasons to leave the children in place and move *yourselves* to be near them and their support system and extended family sound well thought out. Yeah, you round like an evil stepmother for that.
But, yeah imagine the upset if three upset teenagers are brought to another continent to live, away from their school, friends, and maternal family, just because… what, their dad *can*? Cause he has full custody now, watch him flex his power since his ex is dead and she can’t stand in his way!
Or is it that he does not want to spend the money on the boarding school? And your husband is “rethinking”’ your marriage because you disagree with him. Maybe he isn’t the only one that should be rethinking things. Hmmm. NTJ. It’s astounding he had a contentious divorce from his children’s mother.
Truly a mystery how that might have happened.” YouthNAsia63
5. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Be My Dental Patient For School?
“I’m in school for dental hygiene. As part of my requirements, I need to find people to come in and sit for me so I can clean their teeth/health history/periodontal charting/calculus detection, etc. I drive an hour to and from school every day, and most of my friends and family are about an hour’s drive away from my college because of this.
The appointments are LONG. They last for 3 hours, and patients typically have to come in for 2 appointments. His work ends 2 hours before the appointment starts, giving him time to drive there and eat beforehand.
If I don’t get a minimum number of patients to come in, I automatically fail out of the program.
I need to find and complete 12 patients this semester. I am making decent progress, but I still need to find approx 5 more people. My future career is very important to me, and these requirements are very serious, I almost failed out of clinic last semester due to this.
We’ve only been seeing each other for about a month, but we text every day and we see each other once or two times a week for many hours.
He explained that it was “unfair to put him in this situation” and that it was bad to place the responsibility of me passing on to him.
A friend told me that he may be embarrassed, which is a perspective I did not consider. But, while I see that perspective, I feel that “if they cared about me they would do this for me” is reasonable in this situation especially because I will fail the class and be automatically dropped from my program with no chance of readmission.
Similar careers that may accept my credits probably won’t accept me into their program if I fail out because my GPA is only a 3.2.”
Another User Comments:
“It would be fine to ask, as long as you accept whatever his answer is, whether he agrees to help you or not.
There’s nothing wrong with politely asking him, but the “if you cared about me, you would do it” is incredibly manipulative, and if you try to use this reasoning on him, you would be the jerk. On top of that, it sounds like you’re trying to make him responsible for your grades; if you get dropped from the program, you can say “Well, it’s not because of my GPA, it’s because he wouldn’t be my patient!” No. Whether you stay in the program or not is entirely on you.
YTJ.” WolfGoddess77
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here But I guess it also depends on how you phrased it. Like, did you tell him, “I’ll fail if you don’t do this?” I can see his perspective. TWO three-hour teeth cleaning/dental appointments would be a lot for a lot of people!
A lot of people have hangups around going to the dentist… Honestly, it seems like the school is the jerk for putting you in that position where you have to beg for patience. It would be a lot more professional if they provided them.” Spotzie27
4. AITJ For Leaving Home At Night To Avoid Forced College Attendance?
“I recently moved out of my parent’s house in the middle of the night. I (18) was about to be made to go to a college that I didn’t want to go to. Granted, I had been pretending I did for a certain amount of time so as to not upset anyone.
I also have a lot of fundamental disagreements with them on basic worldviews and other personal things. I was raised in a somewhat strict household where you weren’t supposed to question decisions that were already made. I was always the “problem” child for my parents since I was always pretty rebellious.
I recently packed up all that I had that belonged to me and moved out of the house in the middle of the night. I had been planning this for a while and attempted to gently communicate that my life plans were not what they thought.
I had even straight up asked about a gap year as an attempt to meet them halfway. Despite this, the answer was always a hard no. So, when it got way too close to the moving date for the dorms, I left. I went to a safe place where I could be more myself.
I had turned off my tracking and they responded by taking my money from my bank account and threatening to have me arrested for taking my car that was under their name. I finally responded and took back the car. They proceeded to try and talk me out of it.
My dad yelled that I needed to “get your head out of your rear!” They took me back to my new home but still believe I am making the worst mistake of my life as well as continuing to try and get me to come back.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You are 18, this is not running away. This is moving out. They cannot do anything. (Not saying it isn’t serious and all. But they have no legal basis for forcing you to come back). Now, is your bank account your own or your parents?
For the leaving in the night part, I cannot judge since information is missing. I just suspect you have your reasons. Edit: not sure about the lying-to-them-about-college part. It could be a jerk move on your part, or your parents are so unbearable that you simply couldn’t handle this otherwise.” Complex_Machine6189
3. AITJ For Getting Pregnant And 'Stealing The Thunder' From My FSIL?
“So this happened about 2 days ago.
I found out I was pregnant in June, a few months after my FSIL had her son. My pregnancy was not planned or even a thought. I was on birth control and we used protection, it just happened.
We told my FH family around July, a few days before my birthday.
No big deal. Flash forward to two days ago. I got a text from my FSIL about me stealing her thunder by announcing our baby a few months after she had her son and that she didn’t want to say anything to make her look bad.
She then proceeded to tell me I should wait to hold my baby shower and not post anything on any social media because it would take the spotlight away from her son. Mind you, she has 3 children, this is my first. I don’t understand why I shouldn’t post my ultrasounds of my child.
She proceeded to post my ultrasound on her social media page without my permission, which I didn’t appreciate after being told I stole her thunder. Remind you, we announced this months ago and now it’s a problem that I’m pregnant.
Her reasoning for it was she accused me of trying to steal her thunder from her having a new baby and I was overshadowing her having a baby and distracting her family from her baby when I had no control over getting pregnant.
She has gotten certain family involved with all saying I’m stealing her thunder.
Ps. She’s also mad my baby shower is in a few weeks which was after her son turned 6 months old which I’m due in February, so this was the only time with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up.
AITJ for getting pregnant?”
Another User Comments:
“Is she the Queen with how you’re not allowed to announce anything with a year of hers or something? How ridiculous. You got pregnant, despite using protection… it’s not like you planned to steal her thunder or whatever.
Then how dare she post your ultrasound? She just sounds a bit attention-starved. Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes well for you.” CECowps
Another User Comments:
“Look, she doesn’t like you. No matter what you do in life she will find a way to make it about her.
If you marry this man she will always be in your life, acting like this. You will need to put up a shield and not let her words and actions through. NTJ. She has shown who she is. Never trust her.” honeydo99
Another User Comments:
“Most certainly NTJ. Your FSIL is completely out of order and seems to have some issues she needs to work out. You have done nothing wrong. She has some unresolved issues with attention, but that in no way is your fault. It doesn’t seem like you wanted to make it a big deal, she accuses you of stealing her thunder but then posts your ultrasounds herself?!
And her reasoning for that is that it’s distracting her family from her baby?! Her thought process makes no sense. Children aren’t trophies you parade around. If you take anything away from this, you are 100% NTJ. You have done nothing wrong, all of the problems come from FSIL herself.
Don’t let her bully you into not posting a photo or talking about your pregnancy. If that’s what you want to do, do it! Good luck with the pregnancy, and I hope things all turn out well.” Orchid_Cold6969
2. AITJ For Refusing To Work With A Coworker With Severe Body Odor?
“My coworker (late 50s) has, for the entire time he’s been here (little more than a year), had problems with body odor.
I can often smell him from upwards of 10′ away if we’re in the same room, and if he has walked through a hallway within the last few minutes, I can tell if he went through it. It’s super bad. He is a heavy drinker (having shown up to work more than a few times still inebriated, and I can smell that also from across the room, and he even got a DUI recently), wears the same shirt, and pants.
You can tell when he does laundry because he way overdoes it with the fabric softener on his clothes as well, a brief reprieve from his otherwise ‘earthy’ aromas.
He has an attitude problem as well that makes it difficult to work with him. He constantly interrupts, is late to or forgets about meetings, argues with people, and slows down work progress because he wants to be involved and reacts to even the most basic tasks as if he has never seen them before.
I miss the days when the military would take a more proactive approach when it comes to the hygiene of its members. Sadly, in the civilian world, there is nothing even HR can do about the way he smells (it has been brought to their attention by someone else).
I know I should “be professional” and work with him regardless, but it is truly gag-worthy. I doubt anyone would defend him for being a jerk for coming to work like this, but AITJ for refusing to work with him as well. Sadly, his position is hard to fill, so the company letting him go would result in the position going unfilled for months, upwards of a year or so.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I don’t understand how there’s nothing HR can do. My father was in a similar situation with one of his employees, and HR was heavily involved there.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ I have never been so glad to not work in an office anymore.
Honestly, people can only take so much might make me a jerk too but I can’t find it in me to care.” BriefHorror
Another User Comments:
“He’s not necessarily a jerk. He’s a heavy drinker and is struggling. You might be if you just go from zero to refusing directives.
Somebody else went to HR and nothing happened? Time for you to go and follow up to make sure something happens.” pl487
1. AITJ For Leaving The Restaurant After My Date Confronted A Rude Man?
“The girl I am seeing and I were waiting in line to get into a restaurant last weekend. We were told that the wait would be around 20 minutes.
We didn’t mind it, wasn’t too cold and there were maybe 4-5 people in front of us. Maybe 10 minutes later, the man in front of us started to get impatient and he complained out loud to everyone. Just being disrespectful, yelling into the restaurant at the staff to be faster, or pointing at empty tables.
My date tells him to calm down, she’s tired of hearing him complain. Yes, he was annoying but I was just trying to enjoy my day and paid him no mind. He starts telling my date to shut up and that he can say what he wants.
She tells him that she can do the same as well. Now, I’m the one getting bothered by all of this, very childish and it’s been going on for more than 5 minutes. The man and her were still bickering but the yelling stopped. I told her that we could find another restaurant, I don’t want to eat there anymore.
She got upset about that and asked me if I was going to let that man ruin our plans. I told her that, no but her reaction to him will. She tells me to leave then, she will enjoy it by herself. I try to reason with her one more time but she tells me again to leave.
So, I decided to go. As I crossed the street, I saw the man tell her something and she chuckled. I’m pretty upset about the whole situation especially since she said I was acting like a jerk in front of the real jerk. And I did eat somewhere else and we met again afterward.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. This is a misleading title. Your title makes it sound like she wanted you to confront him and you refused. The description seems like she confronted him and didn’t pull you into it until you said you didn’t want to eat there.
She’s not the jerk for confronting him – people being entitled crybabies in public isn’t okay and more people should try to shame them. I think it’s silly you didn’t want to eat there anymore, but were willing to eat somewhere else (in my mind.
the evening is either already ruined because of the interaction or it’s salvageable, regardless of where you eat). But I also don’t think her telling you to leave so she could eat alone is the right move on her part. I’m not sure how long you two have been seeing each other, but if it’s not long, it seems like your personalities might just not be compatible.
If it’s been a while, then you have to determine if this is who she is (and whether or not that’s acceptable to you) or if it was a one-off situation where she just had enough” Cutch35
Another User Comments:
“So I am torn on how exactly I want to answer this.
But I’m leaning towards YTJ as opposed to everyone who sucks here like everyone else. But not necessarily how you’ve phrased you’re reasoning. The man in front of you was being a baby and also harassing the restaurant. I think this girl should be commended for trying to put him in his place.
People have gotten too used to throwing tantrums and getting placated because it’s easier. But at no point did she ask you to get involved. You then acted like a child in a slightly different way. Because you decided you just wanted to leave. As someone else stated. It was either salvageable or not.
Changing venue really wasn’t going to affect much on that. Especially since you then blamed her for ruining the night. That is what makes you the jerk. Could she have stopped bickering, sure. But in the end, honestly, it is what it is, and that guy deserved to be told off.” Pixiegirl128
Another User Comments:
“A chick who stood up for poorly treated restaurant staff and herself against an aggressive male while her date stood there doing nothing??? Honestly, she sounds like a catch and way out of your league. I’m saying YTJ for expecting her to go elsewhere even after she expressed she didn’t want to and for hanging her out to dry like that.
Yeah, you don’t like confrontation but what if a dangerous situation happened??? We like people who stick up for us, not guys who run cause someone is loud. For all you know, that guy could have tried to assault her later, definitely YTJ.” glitchymango626
