People Get Wild In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
19. AITJ For Using A Disability Placard For My Non-Ambulatory Disability?
“I (34f) was in a bad car accident in 2019.
I was hit head-on by a driver and had to have surgery on my left arm to get mobility/ stability back. I don’t look disabled from the outside but I do have extensive scarring on my arm from both the crash and surgery. Through PT and exercise, I’ve regained 80% mobility in my arm but have a 30lb weight restriction due to muscle damage and damage to the shoulder of that arm.
My disability doesn’t affect my ability to walk long distances. Instead, it has to do with carrying or pushing heavy things.
I was doing ok for a while after finishing PT but now my baby is a toddler and has reached my weight restriction. I’ve been having problems with pain and mobility in the arm when getting her in and out of car seats, and especially trying to manage her and a grocery cart.
I can’t push a cart over a speed bump easily and shopping trips end up with me in pain for the rest of the day. I do try to only go to the store with my husband or leave my daughter with him but it’s not always doable.
I can’t go to the big box stores by myself anymore because I have so much trouble pushing their carts.
My orthopedic specialist brought up the idea of getting a placard since I’m struggling at shops due to my injury. I agreed and we put in for a placard.
I told my friends and family about it and my coworkers are all annoyed with me. They say using a disability placard for a nonambulatory disability at my age is selfish and taking resources away from others and I’d be a jerk if I go through with it.
One older coworker kept grilling me on how parking close would make my arm hurt less and told me that I and my orthopedics argument was “mental gymnasts”. She said I’m too young and healthy to use one.
I feel guilty about applying now. Like I said I don’t look disabled, I’m not in a wheelchair.
My Dr. assured me that the spaces and placards are there to help people with disabilities lead normal lives and all the changes I’ve made to how I interact with the world show I have a need. But I was on the fence about it from the start.
I don’t want to be selfish and take resources from other people who need it more. He really convinced me by saying getting the cortisone shots for pain relief was not healthy over the long term and we need to stop the arm/ shoulder from getting irritated in the first place not treat the aftermath.
And having the option to park close so I’m not prolonging the strain on my arm with help in the long run. WIBTJ if I used it even though I’m not ambulatory disabled?”
Another User Comments:
“The placard is for someone whose disability has been assessed to fall within certain boundaries.
If you are awarded one it logically follows that the Powers That Be have acknowledged that your disability is sufficiently debilitating and you will benefit from parking closer etc. You have been deemed worthy. It‘s interesting that people who have never experienced the type of injury you suffered and the impact on your day-to-day life are so medically knowledgeable that they can, just by looking at you, assess your real needs.
Your age has nothing to do with anything. Actual medical professionals (you know, the ones who went to college, studied, cut things up, stitched them back together again, passed exams, interned in hospitals, and then took even more classes to become specialists) have recommended a course of action that would reduce further damage (and cost and quality of life and a negative impact on your mental health).
As soon as your colleagues have done all that they could possibly weigh in I somehow doubt they‘d have the ability. NTJ and you’d be a flaming idiot not to follow advice from a specialist.” East_Parking8340
Another User Comments:
“My wife is recovering from strokes and desperately needs her handicapped placard and sometimes it’s hard to find a handicapped space.
And I, her caregiver, say *you should march yourself off to your doctor and get that placard*. You would not be selfish. You would not be taking a space away from someone who needs it, because YOU need it and YOU are parked in that space!
Those placards are for anyone who either cannot go longer distances for whatever reason and/or needs wider space to load and unload mobility aids. You qualify! Would you deny someone with respiratory or heart conditions a placard because they are not “ambulatory disabled”? Of course not.
Your coworkers are pig-ignorant. Are they your doctor? No. Do they know the eligibility criteria for a placard? Obviously not. If they don’t cut it out, take the harassment to HR or your boss if you think they will take you seriously. They are creating a hostile work environment for someone with a protected status.
NTJ.” KingBretwald
Another User Comments:
“NTJ disabilities come in all shapes and sizes. Technically anyone who wears glasses is using a disability aid. You are disabled even if you don’t feel like it, and in a way that would benefit from using the disabled parking.
Use the disability placard. The placard is for people like you, not just people in wheelchairs. Do not feel bad or guilty about using something that’s meant to help you and people like you. Anyone who gives you trouble for using something your doctor recommended needs to shut their ableist self up.
This sort of thinking is the kind of thing that stops people from getting help that they need and is there for them.” Professional-Scar628
18. AITJ For Being Late And Sleeping In During A Family Vacation?
“I (25F) recently went on a family vacation that resulted in basically all my cousins cutting ties with me and vice versa. I was invited by a few of my cousins to go to Disney World with them, as was my fiancé. My fiancé and I took the time off from work (unpaid), booked flights, and bought park tickets.
On the first day, the plan was to go to Epcot. I decided to sleep in, and my fiancé kindly stayed back at the resort to wait for me. Once we made it there, I texted a chat with a couple of my cousins, notifying them and requesting we meet up.
We never did, though we did all make plans to meet for dinner at 8 pm. However, at 6:55 pm my cousin Brad reached out to me to inform me that they were changing dinner to 7 pm. At that point, we were in line for a ride.
I communicated this. I didn’t get a reply and then anxiously added that they could go without us if they wanted. They did. I had been disappointed that we hadn’t met the entire day, and was even more disappointed that they decided to move up dinner.
The next day, the plan was to go to Magic Kingdom. I, again, slept in and got to the park later than everyone else. This time though, we were able to meet up with everyone. However, at some point after getting off a ride, everyone had left without my fiancé and me (even though we were on the same ride and they would’ve had to wait maybe a single minute for us).
This left me extremely annoyed. After some time, I recalled that I had Brad’s location and checked it only to find that they had left the park and gone to a bar without us. Hurt, I then created a group chat with all 8 people to explain that I wanted to spend time with everyone and ask that they let me know when they were doing things so that my fiancé and I could join.
They were receptive to this, however, the trend soon continued.
Additionally, we failed to get access to one of the bars where we were going to meet them because the elevator wouldn’t take us to the floor and we were also late for dinner because we let everyone else get ready ahead of us and missed the bus.
We were also blamed for a prank that someone was pulling within the suite where a new victim would find a puddle of coffee under their pillow every night. Eventually, I reached out to my cousin Josh, who seemed to be the source of the hostility, to ask if there was an issue.
He said our tardiness bothered him and we ended up getting into it a bit with no resolve.
On the last day, they all had dinner without inviting us. Before this, I had texted to ask what they were up to. They replied, “Stuck in the rain”.
When I pressed further, they doubled down and I took the hint. We left the next day early in the morning to catch our flights and I sent a text saying goodbye, expressing thanks, and wishing everyone a safe trip. A few replied. Things were left on bad terms, I would say.
I thought I was over it, but it does keep me up sometimes. To this day, I cannot figure out what went wrong or if I’m to blame. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“YTJ The thing about family vacations is that things are planned. There is some flexibility, but not that much.
Again and again, you prioritized yourself and made it clear that you didn’t care about the inconveniences you caused.” WhyAmIStillHere86
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here – a trip to Disney with this many people requires communication and y’all suck at it. I don’t necessarily think there is anything wrong with wanting to sleep in on vacation, but did you talk to the others about it?
You should have asked if it was ok the night before. You should have made plans on where and when to meet up during the day. And if they were angry you slept in, they should have just told you that instead of passive-aggressively changing dinner plans and trying to lose you after the rides.
Sounds like a bunch of middle school drama.” xx2983xx
Another User Comments:
“YTJ- every single thing you did, you were late too, causing everyone else to try and be polite and wait in case you were just a few minutes late and caused them to miss hours of their pre-planned vacation.
Disney is expensive, costs roughly $20 an hour before genies and lightning lanes and crap. You slept in and they waited just in case and missed the drop. You missed a bus. You were late to a dinner reservation. You were late to get in a ride line.
You were late to rope drop twice. You were late to a bar. They ditched you and went on with what they had planned after you jacked up the first two days and you don’t get it.” nowaynohowanyway
17. AITJ For Letting My Mother-In-Law Stay Overnight Without My Husband's Knowledge?
“My husband ‘John (26M) and my MIL ‘Sarah’ (59F) don’t have a close relationship.
They get along very well just aren’t the atheboy mum duo a lot of people are.
A week ago, Sarah called me in the middle of the night saying she was in town and she was heavily intoxicated. She told me she’d tried calling John but got no reply which made sense since he is a nurse and works pretty late most nights and has his phone switched off while he works.
I told her I’d go get her and drove to pick her up. She was very thankful and stayed in the guest room.
I stayed up a little longer just to make sure she didn’t come out of the room again (she was very intoxicated so she would’ve probably made a mess if she got to the kitchen or something) and then went to sleep when I was sure that Sarah was also asleep.
I woke up early the next morning and my husband, bless him, was already up and due for another shift. John is overworked but usually is in a good mood in the morning. That morning he had a weird look on his face. He asked me who was in the guest room (we only close the guest room door if someone is staying over).
I told him it was Sarah and he blew up on me saying he suspected it was because of the missed calls from the night before so but he didn’t want to believe it.
John told me I’d completely crossed a line and that I couldn’t just let his mum come and go as she pleased. He said, “I’ve been dealing with nonsense all day and now I gotta take it from you too?” John had never been uncaring towards his mum like that in front of me before and had never yelled at me before like he did that morning.
We argued and it was awful, I’ve never been so upset at him before. He told me we’d speak properly about it when he got back from work and I’d ‘calmed down’.
We didn’t speak about it when he got back from work we talked about it last night.
He told me he was ready for my apology and I told him he wouldn’t get one because I saw nothing wrong with what I did. He had no reason to scream at me, he should be welcoming to his mum. I texted his brother a few days ago asking if maybe they had an argument I didn’t know about and he said he hadn’t heard if they’d argued. We argued again, he told me I’d completely crossed his boundaries.
I told him he was overreacting and he told me I was intentionally ignoring how inappropriate my behaviour was. I don’t know what I’ve done and we are still being icy to each other.
So am I the jerk? Should I apologize? Am I missing something here?”
Another User Comments:
“Well, apparently they don’t get along quite as well as you were led to believe. But the key point is that (unless you’re leaving out massive parts of the story) *he never told you* there was a problem. Boundaries are not invisible shock-collar dog fences; if you were never informed of his boundaries then you can’t be at fault for crossing them.
And no, under normal circumstances, it would not be wrong of anyone to help their MIL out and give them a place to crash. So NTJ. And John is a jerk, not necessarily for not wanting his mom to stay in his house, but for the way he treated you when you would have no reason to think you were doing anything wrong.” CoverCharacter8179
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I think you need to ask him what he expected you to do when his mother phoned in the middle of the night heavily intoxicated and needing help. If he’s not going to answer his phone and deal with it himself, what are the rules you should follow ????
I’d also point out that 1. She’s stayed over before 2. He’s never told you NOT to invite her 3. How he would feel if someone assaulted her because you left her to sort this out herself? His wild reaction suggests something is going on with him, as he has overreacted in a major way in a situation where most people would be relieved you were able to help a stranded family member.” o2low
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, as your heart was in the right place and he’s being an outright jerk–but I do think he’s entitled to have a preference on when his mom stays over. I get the feeling John is withholding info from you and yet accusing you of withholding it from him.
It seems like he saw her texts while he was at work and chose to ignore them because he didn’t want her to come over. If that’s true, he should have contacted you and let you know that he didn’t want her to stay at your place, not expect you to read his mind about it.
For your part, I do think you should ease up on the “he should be welcoming to his mum.” His history and relationship with his Intoxicated Mum may be very different than his one with his Sober Mum. Instead of playing the blame game and demanding cross apologies, the two of you should take this opportunity to discuss his feelings and agree upon some ground rules about guests.” JeepersCreepers74
16. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit My Disabled Brother And Confronting My Parents About Their Neglect?
“I (17m) have a younger brother (15m) who has several serious disabilities from birth. He suffered brain damage at birth, has a missing kidney, and has digestive issues which means he eats through a feeding tube, he cannot walk, and can only make sounds instead of talking.
My parents’ time and attention have to focus on him more than me. For the first few years after he was born I spent a lot of time with my grandpa who raised me from the age of 2 until I was about 7 and then I was seen as “old enough” to be at home after school and could make mn food and clean up after myself and not need supervision mostly.
Grandpa was willing, and had offered, to keep taking me after school but my parents said he didn’t need to do it and he deserved to live his life.
I never get 1:1 time with my parents. They couldn’t afford field trips and never took the time to apply for the school field trip fund so grandpa picked up the slack there.
He paid into my school lunch account so I didn’t have to make my lunch. Grandpa was the person who’d pick me up from school if I was sick. He’d stay and take care of me at home since whichever parent would be home would just say to go to bed or lay on the couch and relax and there was no caring for me or taking care of sick little me.
When I was 11 I got picked for this junior programmer contest through our school district but my parents said they couldn’t take the time for it so they refused to sign off since Grandpa couldn’t, even though he offered to take me, I missed out on that.
When my laptop broke in October 2020 it was Grandpa who replaced it for me so I could, you know, school when school wasn’t in person.
When I got older I was asked to do more like cook for everyone, pick up meds, or get the special bath ready for my brother.
A few times my mom or dad even reprimanded me for not doing off my own initiative.
My parents have nothing set aside for me to go to college. They have never considered colleges. And last year I had my guidance counselor on my backside wanting me to go to college and wanting us to attend some college talk and my parents wouldn’t go.
I told her I didn’t have money for college and she said she would reach out to my parents about forms. They never got back to her. She called, emailed, and reached out repeatedly. Nothing. Then I told her I had decided to skip college and she was like nooo, nooo, you need to go and she tried reaching out to them again to talk about it but they didn’t answer/respond.
My parents wanted to get a night off and catch up with some friends in town and they asked me to babysit. I said no. My parents told me I should help my family considering all they do for me. So I asked them, what have they ever done for me.
I told them it had to be for me, not for my brother. I asked them to name one thing and I pointed out all the stuff they don’t/didn’t do. They called me spiteful and told me to stop looking at it through the lens of a kid.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Having a kid with so many special needs is hard, I get it. But they have TWO kids and they’ve neglected you for most of your life it seems. I don’t get why they wouldn’t let you still stay with your grandpa after you turned 7 as if being 7 makes you an adult.
I’m sorry you missed out on so much as a kid. Maybe going off to college would be a nice fresh start for you and help set you up for a nice future. But also be ready for the conversation someday of how taking care of your brother will be your responsibility when your parents are gone.
Set those boundaries NOW, then they won’t be shocked.” BangoDango22
Another User Comments:
“OK, so the babysitting thing is likely a trial run to see if you can be the caretaker for your brother. I worked as a Para in schools with severe kids like this and the wait list for a home to care for them (government-run and paid for) is 15 years where I am.
And that is if you sign up at birth… If you have never babysat him before, this so Mom and Dad’s first trial run of “Can we leave this kid with OP forever?” And you don’t want that. Move back in with Grandpa as soon as able and go to college.” KSknitter
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I understand having compassion and care for a special needs sibling, but that doesn’t mean you should be neglected and parentified, either. I don’t know what kind of opportunities are available to you, but it sounds like your teachers find you promising enough to continue college.
If possible, please do think about it. Going to university is what led me to my independence. It seems like the only person you can rely on (besides your grandfather) is yourself, so it’s time you start investing in yourself. ” Hotaru-Tomoe
15. AITJ For Refusing To Take Down My Wedding Photos Because Of My MIL's Complaints?
“I 23f just married my 24m husband a few weeks ago. Due to our jobs, we didn’t do a traditional wedding ceremony or have any family with us.
My MIL fought us the whole time saying we should reconsider and have both of our parents come to attend. We didn’t want that. Because of our jobs my husband and I hadn’t seen each other in six months and just wanted to be married and be left alone for the one week we had together before he had to leave again.
MIL eventually dropped it after my mother convinced her too, telling her we were still planning on having a large ceremony down the line and we didn’t see this as being anything important just paperwork.
We did a small quick thing down in the gardens by the water in my city with my pastor.
Everything went smoothly.
A few days after my husband wanted to visit some friends of ours in the area. I had no problem with that because we didn’t know when the next time he would get to see them would be.
We asked our friends if they wouldn’t mind doing a backyard wedding shoot for us since they were the ones who did our engagement photos.
They said so we went. My little nephew demanded he be in some photos and we all had a good time together. Our friend said once he finished the editing he would send us the photos. They all came out great. When I received them I posted a few with the caption “Sharing some of the photos of our itty-bitty wedding shoot ps, not our kid but our nephew and he demanded being in some photos so who could say no to the little guy” and I thought nothing else of it as the congratulations came flooding in.
Here’s where I may be the jerk. The following day as I was getting off of work my husband called and asked if I had posted the photos I said yes and he asked about the one with my nephew I said yes again and in a huff, my husband said ok and hung up.
I should state that my normal working hours consisted of close to 14-15 hour shifts sometimes without eating because I forget depending on the day so by the end I’m usually exhausted and not in the perfect people-dealing mood.
I called my husband back to find out what was wrong he said MIL is demanding I take the photos down immediately saying now it looks like we did a wedding with some family and not others because of my caption.
I lost it I told him I would be doing no such thing. I was tired of her trying to dictate our lives and that I was putting my foot down and I was not removing the photos for any reason.
He apologized to me and understood where I was coming from but he could also see how his mom could be hurt too.
I said I didn’t care it wasn’t my problem and she needed to get over it. He said ok and hung up with me to call his mom back. I then called my mom crying because I was so tired frustrated and hungry and needed her opinion on whether I was wrong for snapping.
She told me no and that I needed to have a discussion with my husband about setting boundaries for MIL when it come to our decisions. So am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your MIL needs to have strict limits put on her.
She is only worried about how her friends and family see her. She doesn’t want people asking her why she wasn’t there. I wouldn’t have a big wedding as it would be all about her. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN NOW BEFORE YOU HAVE CHILDREN!
She sounds like TROUBLE.” Any_Dragonfruit4130
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. First, you said you didn’t want either parent at the wedding because you wanted to be “left alone” for a week before he left. Then you get together with friends and post photos showing you were with other people.
Frankly, it comes across as if you just going out of your way to make sure this gets under your MIL’s skin and show no regard for how this affects your husband’s relationship with her. You’re entitled to make your own choices but if you make choices with zero care about how it makes others feel, you are the jerk.” Vegetable_Craft_9506
Another User Comments:
“You’re NTJ for setting boundaries with your MIL, but YTJ for how you handled this. Not eating isn’t an excuse. You’re more of a jerk for blaming your bad behavior on something you have complete control over. Also, not sure what kind of work you do, but I can bet it’s suffering if you’re doing it while starving.
Grow up and learn how to feed yourself and control your emotions. YTJ.” tartcherryjam
14. AITJ For Not Wanting To Date Men With Kids And Arguing With My Sister About It?
“My sister (30f) and I (26f) got into a disagreement a few weeks ago now. It started when she tried setting me up with a guy she knew.
I have been clear for years I do not want to be involved with someone with kids, I do not want to be a stepmom or help raise/parent another person’s children. That is not me. So guys with kids are not in my sphere of interest. This guy my sister tried to set me up with has kids.
She told him she would set us up but did not tell me. He was interested and believed I was super cool with kids. She told me she would just have some friends there, which she did, but she didn’t tell me about this guy and when I said he was cute she said he was single and had no kids so he was “perfect” for me.
We chatted for a while and he was flirting before we left he said he was so glad I was open to being involved with someone with kids because people our age were usually not interested. I asked him what he meant and he said he had two kids and my sister had told him we’d be perfect together and I was “super okay” with being a stepmom.
I explained it wasn’t true. He was annoyed at my sister and apologized for the misunderstanding. I told him I was sorry she had done that and I’d be talking to my sister.
She played innocent at first but she told me she did it because I broke up with the last guy I was involved with because he had kids and she found it sad.
She told me I acted like it was a bad thing. I told her it wasn’t a good thing for the kids I’d be “stepmom” too if I didn’t want to be one and it was bad for them and me because he went on several dates with me before mentioning his kids.
She told me I needed to be open to being involved with guys with kids and I shouldn’t say no to being a stepmom. Then she made it personal and said it’s why she’s still single because nobody wants a single mom. I told her plenty of people are open to it but those of us who aren’t shouldn’t be forced because it won’t be good for anyone, least of all the children.
She was mad at me for not backing down and in the weeks since she has ranted about it and taken digs at me over this. So I have started interrupting her when she brings me up in conversation. She told me I could disrespect her feelings but I can’t silence her.
I told her she’s going way too far with this. She claimed I’m showing how much of a heartless person I am. She also said I’m rude for interrupting her like I do.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – If she finds it so sad, then why isn’t she the one being involved with single dads so she can be stepmom to their kids???
Why isn’t she going out with this guy? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being involved with a single parent. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be involved with a single parent and be a potential stepparent to their kids. That comes with a lot of complications and responsibilities that not everyone wants or is ready for, and that’s fine.
You’re still very young, it’s perfectly reasonable for you to not want to be a parental figure for anyone right now, or ever. She is a jerk for lying to both of you and trying to manipulate you into a relationship under pretenses.
She seriously broke your trust. I wouldn’t trust her intentions again, not until a lot of time has passed and she’s made quite a lot of effort to show she’s willing to rectify and rebuild what she broke.” CrimsonKnight_004
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but your clueless sister is. Your sister is projecting her situation onto you and wants you to want the life she thinks you should have. She would be better off worrying about her own life and leaving you to run yours. Sister says you disrespect all over her feelings but that is exactly what she did to your expressed boundaries.
She needs to stay in her lane.” Ducky818
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Your sister has somehow gotten it into her head that if she can convince you to be involved with someone with kids, then someone will be involved with her. I know this is gonna sound crazy, but have you considered just not hanging out with her?
You’re not kids, you don’t have to spend time with her if you don’t like her behavior, and her behavior is well over any reasonable person’s boundaries.” KrofftSurvivor
13. AITJ For Not Accompanying My Wife To The Dealership Despite Her Refusals?
“I (28m) and my wife Lucy (27f) were getting in our car this morning to commute to work (Please note I have my truck but it was left at work the night prior as she picked me up for a family dinner) and as we started the car it struggled to turn on.
I immediately called the dealership and an appointment to get it looked at in about 45 minutes.
My wife HATES going to the dealership service appointments by herself and has voiced this several times. Our initial plan was to drop off our daughter at school, have her take me to work, and then she would go into her office for work.
I suggested dropping off our daughter and then going to my office so I could get my truck, follow her to the dealership,p and then take her to work so she didn’t go alone and wouldn’t be late waiting for the dealership shuttle to take her to work.
She said no. She said no and that she would stick to the original plan and then go to the dealership and take a shuttle to work.
After dropping off our daughter I again offered to accompany her to the dealership and take her to work after and she again said no. She said “I’m already going to be late for work, I don’t want you to be late as well for no reason.
And I don’t trust your truck to get there and take me to work.” My truck is old and beat up but runs fine enough. I also work for a family business and it would honestly not have been a big deal at all to call the owner and be 30 minutes to an hour late.
I finally conceded and let her do what she felt was best and went to work after being dropped off.
About 20 minutes later I’m getting a wave of texts about how she’s upset, she shouldn’t be there alone, the sales guys are being pushy, they want her to get new tires and are pilling up the costs pretty quickly.
I tried to talk to her and just tell her to refer them to call me but she tells me that makes her feel stupid which I can understand. But she is MAD at me because she is there alone.
I texted her that because SHE is the one who made the call to count me out she can’t be upset with me over not being there as I offered to be there several times.
I told her I feel like she would have been upset if I went and was late or she would have been upset if I didn’t go and that it feels like she set me up to fail. She didn’t like that at all and was furious I would suggest she was playing games.
We stopped texting.
She then texted me she was upset because she was essentially stranded there while waiting for a shuttle as there was a line of people in front of her. I offered to leave work to go take her to work and again she refused. She then ignored any calls or texts and is still doing so.
I even had to message her on her Twitter account to be sure she was okay after I got an alert that there was an accident near the dealership and I was worried about her. She responded with curt messages and when I said “Sorry just wanted to be sure you were okay.
I’ll leave you alone.” She responded with “Please do”.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ I got tired and annoyed just reading this. I understand hating dealerships because high-pressure sales situations are a nightmare. I also hate them. That said… she either needs to acknowledge she doesn’t have the confidence and assertiveness to handle the situation comfortably and let you go instead OR accept that it’s gonna suck and be extremely stressful while she builds experience doing it alone.
Getting mad at you though is ridiculous and unfair.” anothertypicalcmmnt
Another User Comments:
“Absolutely NTJ. I understand that unexpected stressful events can lead us to reactions we may not otherwise have but, whether inadvertent or deliberate, you are correct: she set you up to fail.
And then doubled down on her immature response. I hope that after a brief cooldown period, you two can discuss this calmly and perhaps make a plan for how to handle any future similar situations. Well wishes.” Downtown-Put1924
12. AITJ For Calling My Friend's Nurse Mother For Help Instead Of My Own Mother?
“I (18F) and my mother (45F) have a very close relationship, I do love my mother very much but my mother and my friend’s mother (50F) hate each other. My friend and I have been friends since year 5 and so we are very close, we hang out a lot and we sleep over at each other’s house every now and again.
But ever since my mother has known my friend’s mother they have always hated each other (I don’t know why).
A couple of days ago I had a pretty bad trip at work (I work at a fast food restaurant) so there is a lot of heavy machinery, so I ended up tripping over some scrap metal when taking out the trash, I was ok but I did have a good chunk missing from my leg (not bad enough for stitches or leaving work early).
I did go and find my manager and we got some things from the first aid kit, but because this happened mid-lunch rush he couldn’t stay and help me. So I ended up calling my friend’s mother because she is a registered nurse and I know she could help me and tell me what to do in this situation.
I ended up fixing myself all up with her help, thanked her, and went back on shift. When I got home I told my mother about it and showed her my leg and told her how I had to call my friend’s mother because my manager was busy, honestly, I didn’t think it was a big deal, but my mother, on the other hand, blew up in my face yelling and accusing me of “trying to embarrass her” and making her out to be a “no good mother” (her words not mine).
I tried telling her that it wasn’t my intention to make her feel like that and that my friend’s mother was a nurse and worked in the medical field so she knew what she was talking about. But my mother was having none of it, so after about 30 minutes of going back and forth about it I ended up going to my room for the rest of the night.
In the morning I got up and got ready for work and when I went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast and say “hello” to my mother but when I did she just ignored me, I thought she was still mad at me for last night.
So I went to work not thinking much about it, but when I got home she was still ignoring me and after a while, le she started to make sly remarks about my friend’s mother and how I should “go live with her instead” and how “I should be her kid instead I tried telling my mother how she was taking this too far and how it wasn’t that deep, but she still wasn’t having any of this.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You sought an actual medically trained nurse to help you. You did about the best thing possible if you were trying to keep a minimum profile at your work. Personally, if I had a “good chunk missing” from my leg, I’d consider having my work send me to get treated on their dime.” Petefriend86
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – But I think your mother needs to go to therapy herself instead for such outrageous behavior. I would have first been concerned about my daughter getting hurt and then be heading to the phone to tell the other person, thank you for coming to my daughter’s aid.
What you are dealing with here is a person who has jealousy issues with this woman and needs to find out why. Your mother’s reaction wasn’t at all normal.” PumpkinPowerful3292
Another User Comments:
“I hope you also did a proper accident report at work. Don’t know where you are in the world, but in the UK there are very strict rules about keeping accurate accident records, so make sure it’s done next time you’re at work.
As for your mother, ask her if she would be this annoyed if you’d called a different friend’s mother if she were a qualified nurse. She needs to grow up – you needed help, you got the best help you could. NTJ.” WatchingTellyNow
11. AITJ For Refusing To Send Back The Family Wii To My Spoiled Brother?
“I (24F) have two brothers, Will (25M) and Nick (17M). This is about my younger brother. When we were growing up, Nick was very spoiled. His dad was pretty well off so if Nick wanted something, he got it and he frankly was mean about it so we had a strained relationship.
Now we have a good relationship but now I’m being called a jerk because while on the phone with him (I moved out in 2018 and live 6+ hours away), he asked if I knew what happened to the Wii. We got this Wii as a family Christmas gift in 2009.
I told him I had it and he got angry.
For context back in 2009, when the system was bought for us, our mom gifted us two games. As a kid, I usually saved my money and didn’t spend it unless I had to. Since it was around the holidays and Wii Sports got old fast, I decided I wanted to use my money to buy a game or two for the Wii.
And over the next year or so, I probably bought between 3 and 5 games for it that I bought for myself to play.
There was an incident with me visiting family where he took a game I loved and ruined it while I was gone. That game took years to get fixed as my mom had other priorities but since then, I never let him touch anything of mine, including the games.
Instead of buying his games (we all earned money in some way) or asking for games for Christmas, he only wanted to play mine and I refused every time.
Eventually, he forgot about it because his dad had eventually bought him newer consoles. And the Wii was dubbed as mine since Will never really cared for it and Nick had new systems and had abandoned the Wii.
This was the point in time that my mom had let me bring the Wii into my room because it was collecting dust in our living room and I was the only one playing it. We moved multiple times before I turned 18 and was able to leave the house and nobody ever mentioned the Wii.
The present: Nick is angry that I have the Wii and said I need to mail it back to him because it was bought for Family use, not individual siblings. I told him I wasn’t paying the postage and that if he looked online, the Wii was cheap to buy and he had a job that he could pay for a used one.
Nick told me that I stole it from the house when I moved to college in 2018 and that I didn’t have permission. I told him that our mother had permitted me and that he was being dramatic.
I told him regardless, I was not sending it back to him.
It’s been in my possession for years and he hasn’t even thought about it for longer than that. I asked him what game it was and guess what he said? The game that he destroyed! That’s the game he bought! I told him absolutely not, at this point, in the petty mode, because the nostalgia he has for that game, made me unable to play it for years so I’m even more sure about not sending it back now.
I’m fully aware I’m now being petty but am I being a jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I guess he’s TECHNICALLY correct about it being a collective gift, but throwing a fit over the fact that you took it after it collected dust like that?
You had it, used it and entertained it with games for years; and he didn’t care for years. Mailing it back when a Wii these days is an outdated console and cheap to get for ONE game is a bit wild to ask considering his previous level of interest in it.” moss-Greene
Another User Comments:
“Honestly that sounds wild. Like how can he be mad when he wasn’t even using? He sounds like he needs to let it go and get his own. Also, you got your games ruined so it’s kinda justified. He should chill a bit and be more thankful.
Sometimes brothers just need a reality check you know.” zee_monoon
10. AITJ For Lying To My Wife's Friends To Prove A Point About Communication?
“My wife (39F) and I (40M) have been married for 8 years and have a 4-year-old son.
We both work full-time and have a good handle on household duties and expectations. My wife has been really busy at her job the past 6 weeks or so. Her job does a lot of seasonal work and this time of the year is among their busiest. They have a lot of seasonal workers they hire to help, and they held a party/happy hour for them last week.
The week before the party, my wife was at a work conference for 4 days while I was holding down the home front. The day of the party, she told me that she would only stay until 6-7 so that she could be home for our son’s bedtime.
I went about our normal evening routine with our son and got a text from my wife at about 7:15 telling me that she was just wrapping up and would be home soon.
I put our son to bed and started doing some cleaning and the next thing I knew, it was 9 pm and my wife wasn’t home so I texted her to see if she was ok.
She calls back a few minutes later and tells me she’s still talking with people but will be heading home soon. I was a little frustrated and annoyed by this.
When she got home, I told her that I would appreciate a little more communication from her if her plans were going to change like that.
She got defensive and told me that I was not supporting her that she needed to feel like she had the freedom and agency to do social things without me “policing and parenting” her and that she lost track of time. I told her that 90 minutes is a long time to lose track of and that it takes 20 seconds to send a text.
She got mad and went off to bed.
That weekend, she had a few friends over for cocktails. My wife was inside doing something, so I went out to the patio and said hi to her friends. I then asked them if I could get their opinion on a disagreement my wife and I had.
I told them the story about my wife’s work party but lied and told them that it was me who stayed out without updating my plans.
They started going off on me for not respecting my wife enough to give her an update after 990 minutes and that even though it’s important for parents to have social time, I need to recognize that the only way I can do that is by my wife staying home with our son.
They all told me I owed my wife an apology and that I needed to do better.
In the middle of their admonishment of me, my wife came out and asked what we were talking about. One of her friends said that I had just told them about the party the previous week and they were telling me I needed to apologize.
My wife looked confused and said, “But I was the one who had the work party.”
I was sitting there with a little smirk on my face and my wife got angry. Her friends did too. Her friends told me I was a jerk for lying to them and tricking them.
I asked them if their advice for me still applies to my wife and they all got defensive and tried to change their stories. My wife got upset because I embarrassed her.”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s the jerk – Look I get how people can lose track of time and it’s a very minor incident, but if your partner has a conversation with you about it, not apologizing, and trying to minimize and then victim blame is toxic behavior.
Additionally, relationships aren’t group projects and involving her friends at any level was inappropriate. At the same time, them demanding you apologize and then actively bringing it up to the wife, demonstrates they are deeply annoying and toxic people I wouldn’t want to have to be around sharing oxygen with.” Ok_Tomatillo_1299
Another User Comments:
“You’re the jerk. Why would you think it’s okay to solicit opinions from your wife’s friends about a disagreement you guys had? I would be humiliated if I were your wife. If I were your wife’s friend, I’d feel bad for her that she was married to such a jerk.
The smirk may be the worst part of all.”twelve days
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s the jerk. You are in the right forgetg frustrated by the lack of communication. She should have apologized. You then went and brought her friends into your marital problems, then you smirked while publicly embarrassing her because you care more about being right than you do about loving and supporting your wife.
You both owe each other apologies.” IncomeSeparate1734
9. AITJ For Refusing To Surrender My Tenancy Early, Potentially Affecting My Housemate's Plans?
“I am in a tenancy with two other girls, one of which I’d consider a friend, the other a housemate.
Within our tenancy agreement, there is a clause that states that if we find someone to replace ourselves, pay the £50 admin fee, and get the agreement from the landlord, we can leave. My previous flatmate did this last year and it all went smoothly.
Around 5 weeks ago, I gave my notice to leave the property to move in with my partner.
A few days later, I received a call from the letting agent stating that the landlord potentially wanted to sell the property mid-way way through the tenancy (tenancy ends December 2025).
The only way that the landlord can sell the property is by surrendering our tenancy early, but he must have agreement from all 3 tenants.
He offered a sizeable rent reduction if he did end up selling.
The landlord expressed that he was reluctant to let me leave as he was not sure a new tenant would be agreeable to an early surrender, to which I expressed that if he did not let me leave, I would have no incentive to agree to an early surrender as my partner would have to get a new tenancy (most likely for min 1 year) and so I may as well stay until December 2025 and make the most of the cheap rent I’m paying now and delay moving in with my partner, instead of trying to find a whole new tenancy.
It is looking less and less likely that everything is going to be sorted by the time I want to move into my new flat and as such I will lose the new property, meaning I won’t be able to live with my partner until this time next year.
I will be extremely upset if this happens (it’s been a long time coming and I’m very fed up with my existing housemates) and if so, I am extremely tempted as mentioned above to just stay put until December 2025 and refuse any early surrender attempts by the landlord.
One of my housemates claims that this would be entirely selfish as she has been contemplating leaving the tenancy early through the same means (pay £50, find a replacement, etc) in January 2025, to move to Australia. Nothing is confirmed but January 2025 is around the time the landlord would be looking to sell and early surrender so this would work well for her.
However, if I refuse to early surrender, this means the tenancy remains in place and realistically, if I stop the landlord from selling, out of spite he will most likely not let either of the other tenants leave via the above method and they would also have to stay until December 2025.
I’ve explained to my housemate that if the landlord stops me from leaving, I have no incentive to do him the favour and surrender early (especially given I am not that motivated by the rent reduction and the fact he would have screwed me over) but this is extremely unfair on her as it would stop her from being able to move.
I then went on to say that it would be both of us who would be screwed over and not just her (as I couldn’t leave early and neither could she) but she doesn’t seem to understand this and keeps insisting that I’m the one in the wrong here and I should just surrender early to allow her to leave when the landlord sells.
Am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“Hmmm this is a tricky situation… From my understanding, your landlord is violating the agreement by not letting you leave… But. He is right, there probably won’t be a tenant to agree to the short-term tendency (6 months?). Is the replacement you found aware of this “early release”?
The only person screwing anyone over is THE LANDLORD. He will be violating his agreement for both you and the flatmate because he wants to sell and not lose money along the way if everyone leaves…What a mess.” badassmillz
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Tell the landlord he has two options: let you out of the lease early or you will not be agreeing to an early surrender.
He has until noon Thursday to decide. If you hear nothing you will assume he’s letting you out of the lease early. Send this as an email for a paper trail. At 12:01 pm on Thursday, if he does nothing, send an email to him and the tenant replacing you that you’re glad he’s letting you out of the lease early and the new tenant will be taking over on X date.
You need to make it more inconvenient to do nothing than it is for him to act.” ApprehensiveBook4214
Another User Comments:
“Difficult. But I guess if the landlord blocks you and you need to continue to live there for another year, what that means for others has to not be your concern.
(I’m not seeing mention of the other girl helping you by encouraging the landlord to allow another flatmate… presumably because that would not help her either.). If the rule of substitution is in the tenancy, however – can the landlord refuse?” New_Combination2430
8. AITJ For Sending My Dad An Overdue Invoice For My Marketing Services?
“I do side work for my dad to help promote his business online.
I edit a lot of ads, make videos, and schedule posts in advance. I charge him once a month for these posts, I make 3 posts a week and I pay a monthly subscription for the editing form I use. He agreed to the price before I started doing this for him on the side.
I don’t charge the rate most social media editors would charge for the work I do. I charge less than what most charge. I only charge for the posts. Not the time it takes to edit and make these posts.
The problem: I sent my dad’s company the monthly invoice for September two weeks ago (this is normal since I schedule the posts two weeks in advance so if all of the monthly posts are scheduled and the monthly subscription is ready to be paid I send it and my father agrees) I didn’t get paid that week, okay no big deal I wasn’t upset.
The following week I sent the invoice again with a reminder. No payment, no response. I reached out to my dad to confirm he got it and he did, and he didn’t say much about it. Then the beginning of this week I sent the invoice with the letters (overdue) in red with another email that this hasn’t been paid please let me know if there have been any issues, etc. no response.
Dad called me Wednesday and needed to confirm my bank info to pay me, okay great this means I’ll get paid. Perfect. I won’t bring it up again. Today he calls me bent out of shape because of the overdue invoice.
Him “Did you seriously send this?”
Me “Yeah? I sent it as a ‘hey I never got paid’ and you never answered my attempts to talk about it. It was also sent before Wednesday when we last talked.”
Him “Well am I gonna have to pay you a late fee then?”
Me “What? No? Again it was just a reminder that this is late and hasn’t been paid”
Him “Well maybe I should find a different marketing manager who won’t hound me.”
After he said this I took a moment because what? I never hounded him.
Never flipped out.
So I responded with “Okay if that’s what you want to do”
Him “WOW seriously?!”
Me “Yeah? If that’s what you want to do, who am I to stop you? If you want someone else to do it, that’s your decision.”
He got angry and said I’ll be paid tomorrow. And hung up not long after that.
AITJ for sending the overdue invoice? For what I said? Or for how I handled this? This isn’t the first time he said stuff like this. I’m just trying to understand what I did wrong here.
Before when I worked for him he would threaten to hire someone to do my job for less pay, etc. Just to clarify, the invoices and the timeframe they get paid were set up this way by him and me. He didn’t like the weekly invoices and asked for one, once a month.
The expectation of the invoice being paid once it was sent, was set by him. That being said, I will be changing how I handle invoices from here on out. If I decide to continue doing his marketing posts.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Here’s the deal. Your father is taking advantage of you.
Here’s how you know. Would he do this to someone else? Would he tell an employee of his or anyone else he’s hired to perform a task that they’re “hounding him” after he failed to pay them on time?” SigSauerPower320
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Regardless of family ties when you are working together as business partners, it needs to be treated with that same respect.
If he failed to pay another company on time and reacted this way, it would be deemed extremely unprofessional because 1. It’s late and 2. He reacted poorly after the fact. This should not change because you are his daughter.” Leia024
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but YTJ to yourself if you continue to let him treat you like this.
My suggestion is to sit him down with what the actual market rate for this would be, with your hours factored in, and let him know if he messes you around one more time you’ll stop doing him the favor of charging way, way less than anyone else would.
Well, actually, no, my suggestion would just be to stop doing this for him at all right now. But if you want to give him a chance, seriously, make it clear to him how much of a deal he’s getting.” [deleted]
7. AITJ For Not Thanking My Partner Enough For Basic Decency?
“My (31m) partner (33m) and I have been in a relationship for a bit over a year. I’ve always tried to be supportive and appreciative of him. I had thought that I was appreciative enough that I always thank him when he does nice things, and I thank him for more big-picture stuff pretty often as well.
Recently, though, we got in a fight about how often I thank him.
For context, I work in a relatively well-paid but high-stress field and my partner works at a lower-paid but not at all stressful (in his words) job. As a result, I pay the vast majority of the bills.
Because I work significantly more hours than him, he usually does around 60% of the household tasks. One of the things I’m almost always in charge of is cooking, and on days when I cook, he usually does the dishes. I always thank him when the topic comes up, and if I see him washing them.
Last night, I got home from work exhausted and cooked a labor-intensive dish, so after we finished, I went straight up to our bedroom and crashed. He woke me up a couple of hours later to remind me to take out the trash. After I got back inside, he started to complain about how ungrateful I was.
He said that in addition to not thanking him for the dishes, I didn’t thank him for a lot of other things. Here’s the list of things I remember him saying I didn’t thank him for enough:
-(I’m transgender ftm) Not complaining when I said I wanted to get top surgery
-Not being unfaithful to me
-Feeding “our” cat (he got her without my input, and I said that he could keep her but that he’d need to be fully responsible for her)
-Not telling people I’m trans
-Not making a mess on the toilet seat (I’d previously gotten annoyed with him over it and asked him to stop)
-Not bringing peanuts into the house (I have a very severe allergy)
I’d thanked him for most of them at least once, but he said that if it was something he did more than once I should thank him more than once. At this point, I was at the end of my rope, so I snapped at him (which I did apologize for over text this morning) and basically called him a hypocrite because he doesn’t thank me as often as I thank him and said he shouldn’t expect to be thanked for the bare minimum.
I ended up sleeping on the couch last night. Because I had a day off, I woke up after he left the house. He left a post-it note on the counter that said “I won’t be doing my usual jobs today, since I only do the bare minimum.”
I’m really confused because I know my partner is a reasonable person, and I don’t want to be a bad partner, but I still don’t understand whether/what I did wrong. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. That was a nonsensical fight over a nonsensical reason.
Honestly, at least to me, it screams unfaithful vibes. Fights for no reason over craziness to cover up or excuse or justify it. Or getting you to do the dumping so they don’t have to. Even if that’s not the case, that is a crazy thing to argue about and isn’t what happens when someone truly loves you.
You deserve better. I hope you feel better. Good luck.” KaoJin-Wo
Another User Comments:
“NTJ seems like he could be thinking of you a little bit more. You’re subsidizing his low-stress work life with a higher standard of living. Hearing a list like his would be very distressing, and I would wonder what else my partner is silently criticizing me about.” Having-hope3594
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Does he thank you? Cooking, paying for things, not losing your mind when he wakes you to take out the garbage when he could have easily done that. You deserve someone who loves you and doesn’t need to be told not to hurt you (outing you, criticizing your body, being unfaithful).
You deserve better than this person. There are better people out there, and some of them will like and love you. You are not stuck with this guy. Being single for a bit is also a plan. You can meet different people and experience new things.” SleveBonzalez
Another User Comments:
“AWWWWWWW, NO!! This dude is so far out of line that the lines have disappeared. He should be doing most of the chores, and waking you up to take out the trash just shows what kind of trash HE is. What’s next?
“You didn’t say thank you for me letting you breathe”? Dump him so fast. He is NOT a good partner or even a good person. You deserve SO much better! Btw, NTJ. I wish you the very best of luck and happiness!” CrazyOldBag
6. AITJ For Not Lending My Friend Money?
“My best friend and I have known each other since high school. I’ve let her borrow money and she’s always paid me back. I’ve borrowed money from her too and I’ve paid it back as well. Today she calls me while my husband and I are getting tattoos and mind you, my husband put in like 30 hours of overtime at work.
He legitimately works more than his bosses. They even tell him he puts in more hours than them. My daughter is disabled and I had to have some type of special certified babysitter because of the state. Due to this, my husband has allowed me to work part-time and normally works just 10 hours of overtime.
Solely to make sure we have two full-time incomes.
When my best friend called for money she said “Can I borrow $75 because this person is talking poorly about me? Work just informed me they’re making me wait till next week to fix my check they messed up on.” I asked why this person was talking poorly of her and why she owed them money.
I was informed she got a smoke front from said person. I specifically said, “let me make sure all my bills are taken care of, and let me talk to my husband.”
We budgeted for our tattoos and we made sure the car note, phone bill, and insurance were accounted for before getting tattoos.
My friend also recently asked if I’d purchase her daughter a cake for her birthday because her job shorted her two days of pay which did put her in a bind. I agreed to do the cake for her daughter. I even Apple paid my friend $10 for food because she said “I’m at work, one of my coworkers gave me some crackers because I was going to pass out from hunger.” I never asked her to pay me back either because I understand how uncomfortable it is to be hungry at work.
Right after I got off the phone with my best friend she sent me a snarky text saying “Sorry I even asked.” I was busy so I didn’t reply then about an hour or so later she texted again telling me on Saturday which was supposed to be the day of her daughter’s birthday party to get my stuff from her house.
So she’s mad? Mad? Just because I said let me handle my business first.
She seems to think because I’m married and I can work part-time and have family support with my child that life is buttery smooth for me. Don’t get me wrong, we live comfortably but I still also live paycheck to paycheck too!
Just like her. So I told my husband about all this. I feel like I shouldn’t have helped because it was rude on her part to act entitled. So AITJ for not wanting to let my friend borrow money to pay back a dealer?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You don’t have to lend anyone money or bail people out for their mistakes. She seems too comfortable asking for favors or help. She didn’t even save up to get her own kid her birthday cake and asked you to do it. It’s not your job to bail her out.
And her attitude is definitely not unwarranted.” archetyping101
Another User Comments:
“So she is one income with a child and wants to spend 75 on substances she didn’t have?? Then complains she doesn’t have food? She could have packed a lunch. Ramen noodles are super cheap!
Her priorities are all out of whack. Loaning her money is just enabling her. It is not your job or responsibility to pay for her. If she is living paycheck to paycheck she shouldn’t be buying substances. Let her be mad.” catladyclub
5. AITJ For Being Picky With What My Partner Cooks?
“My (22) partner (25M) and I recently moved in together, so that means we’re having every meal from lunch to dinner together.
He loves to cook for people, it’s his love language. And he especially loves to cook for me. The thing is I’m a very selective eater, my main problem is with textures honestly. He’s a really good cook so he cooks like actual proper meals, with all vegetables and seasonings, etc I mean.
But those types of things are my absolute worst nightmare. We were having dinner last night and the atmosphere was already tense because we were, and still are honestly, in a fight about something stupid and petty, so we weren’t talking much. He made this salmon dish along with some Greek salad, and he made some wedges for me too, like he always does make something on the side for me, cause he knew I wasn’t going to eat much of everything else.
So my plate was the wedges and a bit of the salmon, which I had to work on (meaning removing all the vegetables, little pieces of onions, the little flakes of chili, and things like that bother me). And he was watching me do that, honestly, I didn’t think it was a new thing in our relationship I thought he was used to it at this point.
He broke the silence and he was like is something wrong with your food? And I told him no it’s great, just a lot of small little things y’know. And that’s when he kinda snapped he told me how I should start cooking my darn meals if I always have such an issue then (he always insists on cooking for me though).
He talked about whenever we order or eat out I’m more than fine eating that food, but when he cooks I always have to “dissect it”. I told him how maybe I wouldn’t have to dissect it if I liked his food. We kind of went back and forth about it and we fought a bit, then he said he would appreciate it “if I kept my neurotic tendencies in control tomorrow” so I don’t embarrass him.
We have a gathering today at our house, and it’s a one dish meaning everyone brings over a meal). I haven’t been speaking to him since last night but I eventually will have to when the guests come.
I genuinely don’t do it on purpose and I get that it can get annoying to deal with, it’s frustrating for me too.
But all up till now he honestly hasn’t ever lashed out at me about this issue he’s been so patient and understanding, I think it was just stress from work that made him snap and our previous fight. This is so long I apologize haha, feel free to ask for any information I might’ve left out though.”
Another User Comments:
“I think you need to cook your food. It’s incredibly frustrating when, after someone makes a real effort to cook awesome food, is for you to pick at it. You both have a different attitude and palates, there is nothing wrong with recognizing that your partner’s food is not to your liking.
However, he also needs to accept that you are not compatible food-wise and stop cooking for you.” Kukka63
Another User Comments:
“YTJ You said that he’s a good cook, and when he asked you about your meal you said it’s great, but then later you said “I wouldn’t have to dissect it if I liked his food.” So you’re sending a lot of mixed messages.
I’d say just talk to him, tell him “you’re a great cook, you aren’t doing anything wrong, I’m just a picky eater so from now on just don’t cook for me and I’ll cook for myself because I have such specific tastes.” Tdluxon
Another User Comments:
“My friend is a picky eater, and I find that it’s frustrating. She likes to cook and will eat her food, but she picks at everyone else’s. I’ve flat-out refused to cook for her now as it is irritating to have her pull everything apart and hardly eat any of it.
I insist we only eat snacks when she comes here ( fruit and cheese plate) or we go out for food. That way neither of us is stressed about food.” One_Winged_Dove
Another User Comments:
“This sounds like a really tricky situation for both of you.
On one hand, I can see how your partner might feel hurt or frustrated, especially since cooking is his love language and a way he expresses care for you. Watching someone pick apart a meal you’ve put time and effort into could feel like rejection, even if that’s not your intention.
On the other hand, your struggles with textures and preferences aren’t something you can just “turn off,” and it’s valid that eating certain foods is genuinely difficult for you. It seems like this issue has been simmering under the surface for a while, and the combination of your earlier fight and hosting stress probably made him lash out in a way that wasn’t fair.
Calling your behavior “neurotic” and worrying about being “embarrassed” feels a bit hurtful, especially since it sounds like you’ve been doing your best to manage your eating preferences. I think an honest conversation after the gathering could help clear the air. Acknowledge that you understand how much effort he puts into cooking and how it might feel disheartening to see you pick things apart.
At the same time, explain that your eating habits aren’t meant to criticize him—they’re just part of how you relate to food. Maybe you could work together to find some middle ground, like trying to cook some meals together or discussing dishes you both feel good about.
It’s also worth thinking about whether this is a bigger communication issue. Moving in together can be a huge adjustment, and it sounds like tensions might be spilling over into other parts of your relationship. Approaching this with empathy on both sides might help you grow closer instead of letting it drive a wedge (no pun intended) between you two.” User
4. AITJ For Not Wanting To Lend My IPad To My Friend For A Test?
“I have a friend who lives 2 doors down from me. She’s an LVN and wants to continue her education. A nursing program just opened up, but for her to qualify for the program, she has to take the TEAS test. I had never heard of it before.
She asked me to “help” her pass this test. She claims to have dyslexia, but I think it’s just an excuse to get away with stuff. She says because of the dyslexia she could never pass the test. I reluctantly agreed to do it after trying to dodge the question multiple times.
She kinda pressured me into it, and I didn’t like that.
The test was three hours, and I told her I could only help her if I could see the computer screen. On the day of the test, I showed up and had done ZERO preparation.
I spent over an hour troubleshooting for her when I realized it wasn’t working because I knew we were trying to “bypass” by having a second monitor hooked up, so in the 11th hour, she asked to use my iPad. I couldn’t see, she had to read all the questions out loud to me.
Needless to say, she didn’t pass. I also had to leave halfway through the test because we ate up a whole hour with troubleshooting, and I had to leave to pick up my kids which meant I had to leave my iPad with her, and I didn’t want to do that because my banking info is on there, among other personal things.
The whole thing kinda’ upset me off. Like, she didn’t even prepare at all. She didn’t even know she had to download a locked browser until I showed up, which she would have known if she had read the email they her when she signed up for the test. I found out later that there are study materials for this test (I was led to believe it was like an assessment test), and they recommend you study *at least 6 weeks* before you take it.
She asked me to retake it with her, and I said no. Sorry, I’m not the person to help you with that, especially after I told her they recommend a minimum of six weeks of study time and she rescheduled the test for ten days later.
Now, it’s the night before the re-test, and as before she has not studied or prepped, and has recruited her cousin to do the same scheme. She called and wanted to borrow my iPad. I don’t like what she’s doing, and I don’t want to hand over my personal iPad for other reasons.
How can I get out of this without straight-up telling her no? She is trying to get into a certain program because she hates her job (a situation she created), but she won’t get into the program if she doesn’t pass.
I still don’t want to lend her my iPad.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Am I right in thinking that this is a Licensed Vocational Nurse? A NURSE who knows nothing because they bypassed a knowledge test? Just say no. OK, so the test is just to get into a nursing program. If she’s bypassed once, she’ll do it again: bypassers are bad enough, bypassers who put people’s lives at risk … big nope.
NTJ for not loaning your iPad. You would be if you facilitate this further in any way.” TeenySod
Another User Comments:
“NTJ! It sounds like your friend is trying to pull off the ultimate “get out of jail free” card without even studying for the test. If she’s not willing to put in the work, why should you risk your iPad—and your banking info—for her plan?
It’s like letting someone borrow your car to drive to a race they didn’t even train for. Just tell her your iPad has suddenly developed a severe case of “not being loaned out to bypass.” Good luck to her, but it’s time she learns that shortcuts rarely pay off!” Friendly_girl_88
Another User Comments:
“I’d be surprised in this day and age if there aren’t accommodations for people with dyslexia, even for standardized tests and you’d think someone with a dyslexia diagnosis would know to ask for this, especially since she’s already some type of nurse so she had to go through a nursing program.
So yeah, I suspect she might BSing about being dyslexic. The people I’ve ever known with dyslexia spend more time studying than the average person.” Spinnerofyarn
3. AITJ For Telling My Difficult Mom Not To Attend My Sister's Wedding?
“So my sister (30F) is getting married soon (very exciting).
I live with my mom (60F), and as the wedding has been getting closer and closer, she’s been becoming more and more difficult in certain situations. My parents have been divorced for over 15 years, and my mom despises my dad and his side of the family (for context).
My sister’s wedding is relatively small, less than 90 people, with only around 8 or so tables. She only has one family table, with both my Dad’s and Mom’s sides sitting at the table. Originally, she had my mom sitting at a completely different table than everyone else because she was worried my mom was going to be upset about sitting with my dad.
I kind of let her know that I thought that would make things so much worse, especially because my dad was going to be sitting with my mom’s side of the family and my mom wouldn’t be, which would’ve been a disaster.
So, she switched it, so that everyone was at the same table, because it was for one night, and it shouldn’t be a big deal, especially when it’s for their daughter’s wedding, right?
Wrong.
I stupidly told my mom who she would be sitting with, because I have access to the guest list, and she lost it.
Threw her dress in the garbage, said she wouldn’t be wearing it, and that she had never been ‘so humiliated in her life’ and that she couldn’t imagine sitting with those lowlifes (aka my dad’s side of the family). During the entire planning of the wedding, my mom threatened to not show up to the wedding for multiple reasons: if her sister was invited, if she had to wear a certain color dress, among other things.
My sister has been incredibly accommodating to this, and has tried to cater to our Mom’s desires because of course, she wants her at the wedding.
After the situation today, I kind of exploded on my mom and called her selfish, and told her she may as well not bother showing up to the wedding if this is how she’s going to behave.
I also said she’s acting like it’s her wedding and she’s going to ruin my sister’s special day because everything has to be about her. My mom’s response was ‘You only had to tell me once, I won’t bother to be there then’.
I feel like such a jerk, I had no right to say that to her, with it not being my wedding, I just don’t want my sister stressed and embarrassed by whatever hissy fit my mom is going to create on the day of the wedding now.
AITJ? Should I start groveling? I don’t want my sister’s wedding ruined, but I think it’s inevitable now and I think it’s all my fault. I’ve talked to some people about it and they all say my mom’s acting insane and being selfish, but I just feel so guilty and don’t want my sister to have to deal with this.”
Another User Comments:
“ESH Why couldn’t your sister split up your dad’s and mom’s side? Surely you could have Dad’s side with people some other guests and Mom’s side at another table with other guests? With a guest list of 90ish people, there was no way to swing that seating plan differently.
I understand your frustration, but this isn’t your wedding to make ultimatums with. You shouldn’t have told your mom to suck it up or not come to your sister’s wedding. Your mom does need to grow up and learn how to be civil with people she doesn’t like for a few hours.” nonchalantenigma
Another User Comments:
“It appears you uninvited your mom to your sister’s wedding. Is that correct? If so, YTJ, because that’s not your place, although I certainly understand why you were frustrated. How soon is the wedding? Will this blow over or do you need to tell your sister your mom may not be coming to the wedding?” Aware_Welcome_8866
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – explain to your sister what happened and she can take it from there. It’s her wedding so she should be in the know if mom is coming or not and just let her know you were only trying to help because your mom is a monster and you will continue to help any way you can depending on what your sister wants.
Whether that’s calling it, mom’s not coming. Or apologizing and talking mom into coming for sister’s sake and the three of you talking about a solution that will not cause any drama, such as getting a small table for just mom’s family to sit.
Side note, can you move out? Your mom sounds terrible and it would do you some good to get some distance from her.” buttpickles99
2. AITJ For Not Inviting My Cousin's Partner's Son To My Wedding?
“I (F30) got married last month. It was a small wedding and mostly family and close friends.
My family is quite big and so is my fiance’s, and because the cost per person is very high we had to cut some people because we couldn’t afford to pay for everyone.
I was really sad for not inviting some people who were like family (my mom’s neighbors and their children who grew up with me, but there were 14 people and I had to compromise as we established that 70 was our limit).
About one week before the wedding my cousin (M32) (who I only see once a year at Christmas and was invited because I’m very close with his mother) sent me a WhatsApp message.
I thought maybe he wouldn’t be able to make it but I was wrong. His message said: “Hey! You’re counting on my partner’s son for the wedding right?”. (He is seeing this woman who is 10 years older than him and has a 20-year-old son who I only saw once).
I told him that no, that we weren’t counting on him (the invitation only said his and his partner’s name) as he never went to any of the family gatherings and I don’t really know him. He read my message and didn’t reply, so I moved on.
Fast forward to the wedding day, my cousin arrives with his partner and they don’t speak to anyone. He didn’t even congratulate us, but again I chose to ignore it. When we got to the reception they were still alone in a corner and when my family approached them they started complaining about how I excluded her son from the family and they were behaving exactly like I had treated them.
My aunt started saying that they were in the wrong and that they knew we had to exclude some important people from the wedding and that her son was, not a dependent child, was an adult. Things quickly escalated and they started yelling, I immediately went there and asked what was wrong and they started calling me an entitled brat and a jerk, and that I was being a jerk to his partner and that I should feel terrible for excluding someone from my wedding.
After being extremely rude they left the wedding (we were still at the reception) and started saying loudly “You’re gonna pay for our seats you brat and we are leaving and we’re not gifting you”.
Everyone was shocked but in the end, it seemed like my aunts and cousins were against me and saying that it was just another person and that it kinda feels like I was saying that her son was not part of the family as he wasn’t invited to this family event (but again he is not my family and I have only seen him once years ago).
Was I really in the wrong? Should I have invited him?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, and if this is a ‘once a year cousin,’ I wouldn’t count them as close either. That’s a distant acquaintance. Yes, I know you’re close with his Ma, assuming your Auntie and didn’t want to rock the boat, but jerk cousin sure did.
I’m sorry they were outta line. Should’ve just sent their regrets and not shown up, stupid dramaseekers!” No-Vacation3305
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your cousin and his partner behaved like crazy terrible people. I would have nothing more to do with them short of some sort of groveling apology if even that.” bisikletci
Another User Comments:
“NTJ just because people loudly complain, does not mean their complaints are valid. The custom is to invite guests by listing them on invitations. You are under no obligation to include someone’s partner’s son…. totally ridiculous. I’d probably never speak to these people again, personally.” MaybeitsMe0617
1. AITJ For Publicly Calling Out My Best Friend's Obsession With His Crush?
“I (21F) recently called out my best friend “Larry” (21M) in front of his long-time interest “Debby” (20F), and now I’m questioning if I went too far.
We’ve known each other for over a decade, and Larry has always had a crush on Debby, though he never asked her out, fearing it would ruin their friendship. Recently, Larry found out that Debby isn’t interested in a relationship because she said she doesn’t want long-distance (most of our friend group, including Larry and I, live in the same country, while D and a few others have moved abroad).
Larry said he respected her boundaries, but instead of moving on, his behavior worsened.
He only hangs out or joins calls with our group if Debby is involved and cancels plans with us to follow her schedule. He becomes defensive when called out. I’ve talked to him about it, and while he’s admitted to the behavior, he falls back into the same patterns.
One night, I joined a call with Larry, Debby, and another friend, “Rob.” I had a stressful week and wanted to relax. Larry canceled our bar plans but offered to play games, so I suggested a specific game. Larry declined until Debby expressed interest, and then he immediately agreed. During the game, Larry ignored Rob and me, scolded us for mistakes but gave Debby a pass, and made jokes at our expense.
He made fun of my slow processing (which I’ve confided in him about, as I was in special ed classes growing up and was bullied heavily because of it) and mocked Rob’s recent unemployment. When we tried to tease him back, he got defensive and told us to shut up.
After the game, I was emotionally drained and must have sighed into the mic because Larry sarcastically joked, “Was that game really that hard on you?” Debby defended me, but I cut her off and snapped at Larry. I told him his favoritism toward Debby was annoying and selfish, that he should’ve gotten over her by now, and that it was hurting our friendship.
I listed examples and ended by calling his need for validation trumping over relationships he’s had with others for decades terrible, stupid, and a little “creepy” before leaving the call.
Most of our friends, especially Rob, supported my reaction but thought I should’ve handled it privately, especially with Debby there.
Two friends were angry and said I was wrong for outing Larry’s long-time crush in front of Debby, which I agree with. Larry hasn’t reached out to anyone since that night, and I haven’t reached out to him either. D later texted me, apologizing and saying she’d noticed Larry’s behavior but didn’t realize it was due to his crush (she’s known for a while apparently).
I apologized to her if I embarrassed her.
Now, I feel guilty for exposing Larry’s secret and calling him out in front of someone he’s emotionally vulnerable with. It’s been two weeks, and I’m torn on how to feel.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ You were right to stand up for yourself and call out Larry’s behavior, especially since it was affecting your friendships. While it might have been better to address it privately, your frustration was understandable given the context. Friends need to hold each other accountable, and Larry needs to hear that his actions are hurtful.
You did what you felt was necessary to protect your friendships, and that’s valid…” casandraswit
Another User Comments:
“He used your secret/past to harass you to make Debby feel more special (which probably backfired on its own because being a jerk ain’t attractive) You dropped a MOAB, then went all Corporal Hicks and proceeded to “Nuke it from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure” on Larry’s charred remains. YTJ, but we all understand and love you for it. Except for a few of your friends who liked and/or pitied Larry. And Larry but he’s a jerk so oh well.
Larry needs therapy not your apology. You freed him to move forward with his life. Or with Debby. So I guess you are mostly NTJ after all?” Traditional-Agent420
