People Disclose Their Confounding "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
37. AITJ For Taking The Leftovers?
“My husband’s friend is going through a rough time. I am not privy to the details but his friend is in a really bad spot.
I don’t mind his friend hanging out but I like to have a heads up so I know before I get home from work if someone is coming over. I plan our meals with 2 people in mind unless told otherwise. I cook enough so we have dinner and leftovers for lunch the next day so we don’t have to eat out.
Lately, my husband’s friend has been over a lot, sometimes unannounced and staying for dinner as he is unemployed, his phone has been cut off, no car, and it’s a whole mess. I told my husband I didn’t mind having him over and feeding him but I needed a heads up so I knew to make extra.
I’ve also made it a habit of asking my husband if his friend is coming over that night before I leave for work.
Yesterday morning I asked my husband if friend was coming over as I had to go to the store to get some things for dinner.
My husband said he didn’t know. When I left work I called my husband to ask again, but he didn’t answer so I grabbed things for dinner/lunch for just us two. Got home and started dinner, my husband comes home with friend in tow.
Friend mentions being so hungry and food smells so good. Dude is hard on his luck so I didn’t turn him down and served him food. With what was left, I only had leftovers for one lunch the following day.
In the morning I took the leftovers instead of leaving them for my husband, and I told him as I left that I was taking the food.
My husband is pretty frustrated that I did that. I told him I asked him in the morning, called him after work, and didn’t get a response so I didn’t include his friend as someone who was going to be eating. My husband works by plenty of restaurants or could’ve thrown together a sandwich before he left. Apparently, I’m making him feel like his friend isn’t welcome.
I feel I’ve done nothing more than make his friend feel welcome, feeding him, letting him sleep over, shower at our place, do laundry, etc. AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Deciding To Uninvite My Sister From My Wedding?
“I (M 26) and my fiancé (Non-Binary 25) have been together since high school.
We go on a lot of trips together and I decided to pop the question last November. My partner is a Female-Presenting Non-Binary and I love them with all my heart.
My parents and brother all support me and my partner, they are all very supportive of the LGBTQ+ and they are trying their absolute best to get the hang of using they/them for my partner and calling them by gender-neutral terms.
My sister on the other hand won’t even try to correct herself, she even goes as far as emphasizing the ‘She’ or ‘Her’. We have both corrected her multiple times on the matter but she just replies. ‘You shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t even know what they are’.
I was mad at her for saying that so I took a break from talking to her.
My fiancé and I both discussed the matter of who to invite and I let them go over the invites to see who was coming and they could tell me if they wanted certain people there.
They insisted my sister come because she’s a part of my family. I agreed because it was they who were bashed by my sister and I can’t make those decisions for them, and everything went on as planned.
We were at dinner with my family and we were at a nice restaurant.
My family spoke about the wedding and if my partner was excited. The conversation was going nicely until my sister added ‘You could’ve done so much better’. The table pretty much went silent which she broke with ‘No offense but you could’ve gone with someone normal, not a freak’.
I was stunned. I looked over to my partner who was obviously uncomfortable. I asked them if they wanted to leave and I looked over to my sister and said simply ‘My partner is the one who wanted you to come to the wedding, not me’.
With that, we walked out and I spoke with my partner and we both decided to uninvite my sister. My sister called me begging me to invite her again, saying I was making a mistake and she only wanted the best for me.
AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Refusing To Watch My Sister's Kid So She Could Go To The Beach With Her New Family?
“I (19 f) have a sister (29 f). My sister came to visit me and my siblings for a week.
My nephew (8 m) is a handful and my sister tends to dump him on me without asking. Recently, my sister got remarried and had a second kid (7 months, f).
My nephew has a June birthday so we decided to have a party for him when he came over.
When my sister came over, she would leave with her new husband and baby and leave my nephew without saying anything to me. A couple of days ago, she went out at night and her son wouldn’t sleep so he kept bothering me. I told him to go tell his mom and he explained how she was gone and didn’t know where she went.
I called her and asked where she was and she said she was ‘out for a drive’.
The next day, I was setting up for the party and my sister was asleep for most of the day. She got up and I watched her babies while she showered and then she left with her husband and kids.
Later, the party started and she called me to ask if it had started. I told her it did and she brought them back. A couple of hours into the party, I had gone upstairs to watch the kids swim from the second floor where the people my age were.
About 20 minutes later, I brought out the cake and presents for them to open. My sister then asked me if I could watch my nephew while she and her new family could go to the beach even though I was keeping watch of 8 other kids (ages 13-14).
I told her she can take her son if she wanted but I didn’t particularly want to watch him. I then went inside and got the Nerf guns ready to play with the kids. She stormed up the stairs and packed her stuff and had her husband take it to the car.
She then started crying and calling me selfish and saying I treated her horribly.
She told my mom (45 f) and my mom called me telling me what I did was wrong and getting on my case. I tried to explain to her how I had been taking care of the kids while she left with her new family leaving him with me.
She wouldn’t listen to me and kept getting upset with me and making excuses for her. My friends and significant other say I’m not in the wrong. So, am I the jerk for refusing to babysit my nephew and making my sister leave?
EDIT: My mom is out of the country so I’m staying at her house to take care of my younger brothers and pets. Before I started going out with my SO, I would let them walk all over me but after I met him, he started helping me set boundaries and keeping them.”
34. AITJ For Whispering An Inside Joke To My Grandma During My Grandma's Memorial Service?
“My (F 28) grandparents are wonderful people.
They raised 5 great children and, somehow 2 garbage people). I have three amazing aunts and two uncles on my mom’s side. I don’t really know my father or his family very well. He paid child support but he lives on a different continent and we have not seen each other much.
He was still more of a parent than my mother ever was.
On to the garbage people. My mother (F old) and uncle (M dead) each had a kid as a teenager and decided to just dump them with my grandparents. My uncle passed away young in prison.
My mother eventually met a guy and moved across the country to start a real family. My grandfather made her sign over my child support and used her and my uncle’s inheritance to raise my cousin (F 30) and me relatively well. We had a life most people would envy.
We had material goods but mostly we had so much love from those two people and their good offspring and their families. They tried their absolute best to raise us well and let us know we were loved.
My mother had three more kids with her husband.
They did not visit much and I do not consider them to be my siblings. She never asked me to come visit or anything. Her life didn’t need me in it.
Enough whining. On to the story.
As much as my grandfather loved us he was an old guy.
He loved old tv shows and thought that the pinnacle of humor was WKRP in Cincinnati.
And M*A*S*H.
So we watched reruns of those shows after school every day. I grew to really enjoy them. My cousin not so much but she loved sitting with us so she bore it with good grace.
If you know that WKRP you know the most famous episode. The Thanksgiving episode. We loved that episode. Les Nessman reporting live is one of the funniest things ever.
My grandfather passed away last week. My family was holding a memorial service and surprisingly my mother showed up with her family.
When I came time for an open microphone for memories my mother went up and started talking about how much she enjoyed coming home for the holidays (cough, not true, cough).
Whatever. I was in the pew behind my grandmother and I whispered in her ear ‘As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly’.
She did her shriek giggle that I love and my mother glared at us. She may have thought my grandmother was laughing at her.
During lunch, my grandmother hugged me and said that I am the only person that could make her laugh on the saddest day of her life.
Right then my mother came up and asked ‘What was so funny’ during her speech.
My grandmother told her it was private and not her business. But my mother knows I did something and she is mad that I made her look bad in front of her husband and children.
I just wanted to remind my grandmother of sitting on the couch just the four of us watching a show that was old before I was born.
AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Calling The Manager On A Woman Who's Giving Me And My Service Dog A Hard Time?
“I decided to go out for lunch today as I was bored of just sitting in the house doing nothing all day so I went to a pretty nice cafe not too far from mine. I had my service dog with me (she is a seizure-alert dog) and I was seated with no issues as she had her vest on.
A lady a couple of tables away was kinda staring at us when we came in but didn’t say anything, eventually, she passed my table and made faces and beckoning noises to my dog. I asked her not to do this as she isn’t supposed to distract a service dog.
She responded by asking why I even needed a service dog as she thought they were only for blind people. I explained that she wasn’t a guide dog and that she was in fact a seizure-alert dog. She didn’t seem to accept this answer but sat down regardless.
Throughout my whole meal, she was staring at me and eventually, my dog yawned as dogs do. This lady was convinced that this was all the evidence she needed as I had told these dogs sit perfectly still and she began accusing me of faking to need a service dog just so I could bring my pet everywhere.
I wasn’t really in the mood to go through the whole argument so I told her to shut up and sit down. This just made her madder as I wasn’t providing a valid reason and was instead asking her to shut up. Eventually, I signaled the manager who got her to sit down and who apologized on behalf of the cafe.
Normally I would just brush something like this off but I keep thinking I could have handled it better and that I came off as a jerk.
So please let me know, AITJ?”
32. WIBTJ If I Don't Allow My In-Laws To Invite A Friend To Our House?
“My FIL & MIL have a best friend by proxy, ‘Sandy’. She is the widow of their original best friend and was his 2nd wife.
Sandy is a constant 3rd wheel in my parents-in-law’s relationship. She invites herself to everything they go to and every event, and the FIL enables it by telling her about their plans.
However, she is an extremely unpleasant woman. She’s a Fox News brainwashed bigot who constantly runs her mouth, anti-immunization, etc. She also is extremely poor after the death of her husband and collects state welfare but doesn’t see the irony in bashing ‘welfare moms’ or minorities for using welfare, when that is quite literally why it is there.
I at first thought it was nice that my in-laws looked out for their widowed neighbor, but I have started to suspect that maybe there is more going on (perhaps something with the FIL & Sandy) as he seems to tell her everything and seems to share some of her less desirable values, albeit not as openly/rudely.
My husband and BIL also dread her being around even though they grew up with her around and always ask if she’s going to be at gatherings at the in-laws’ house.
Now, Sandy has been trying to invite herself over to our house (my/hubs) for well over a year.
She makes a comment every time we see her around about how she’s never invited over or hasn’t seen our house yet. My hub & I are expecting our first child and bought a really nice home together, hoping to start our family off on solid footing.
But I just know when Sandy sees our house she’s going to make comments about how well-off we are, how we should be doing more for others (like herself) and just generally make us feel uncomfortable about being in a different tax bracket than her – in addition to all the other things she says that make us uncomfortable.
We just invited parents-in-law over for a BBQ for Father’s Day, and FIL immediately told Sandy and asked her to come without running it by us. When my husband told me, I asked him to tell his dad it was for Father’s Day and family only.
He said we will come off as jerks if we say this, but I think it’s more the jerk move to invite someone over to someone else’s house without asking permission.
Down the road when we have kids, she is not someone I want to expose my children to whatsoever, and I don’t want to start a precedent of her thinking she’s allowed to invite herself over whenever since she already does this with every other plan/event.
WIBTJ for excluding her?”
31. AITJ For Telling My Cousin My Husband Was Just Using Her To Get To Me?
“I separated from my husband a month ago. It hasn’t been an easy separation and we’ve both said and done things during it to hurt each other.
We all went to the same wedding.
I was trying my hardest to ignore my husband and I was doing pretty well until my sister pointed out that my husband and cousin were dancing together.
I’m going to admit I was upset because I feel like as my family, my cousin should’ve had my back and she knew how awful he had been to me during the separation. I also know my husband well enough to know he only danced with her to get under my skin.
They were also very close for two people not in a romantic relationship.
I went outside for 20 minutes and by the time I got back, my cousin was sitting with my family. When I got there, she brought the dance and my husband up. At first, she tried to justify it by saying she was trying to help him because supposedly he was helplessly being held hostage by a group of women trying to dance with him and she had to help him get away from them, but it was so obvious by her face that she was happy about the dance.
I made a sarcastic comment about how she really helped him out. She got upset and asked me what I meant and I told her he was just using her to get to me. She told me I was wrong and that they were friends and she was just helping her friend out.
I laughed when she said they were friends because they aren’t and have never been. I think I either embarrassed her or upset her because her face went red and she told me I was being a jerk for no reason before she left.
The next time I saw her she was hanging out with my husband.
AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Kicking My In-Laws Out Of My Gender Reveal Party?
“My husband (34 M) and I (32 M) have been married for over five years. We have a beautiful daughter (3) who we adopted two years ago and means the world to us.
We decided this past year to start a journey via surrogacy since I have a low sperm count, it is my husband’s sperm and an egg donor (a friend of ours).
Our surrogate is seven months pregnant and we threw a gender reveal party via Zoom because, unfortunately, our surrogate couldn’t be with us because she lives in Canada.
The party gathered close friends and immediate family; my in-laws were there. It turned out to be a boy and my in-laws suggested that we picked names right there. I’d already chosen one but as I didn’t want to destroy their happiness, I let them suggest names to see if they come out with the name I’d already chosen but didn’t and instead suggested names that I don’t like.
They only suggested naming our baby after their fathers. It was something like Peter Jeremiah. I have nothing against people named like that but I don’t really like it for my child.
I told them that we’d think about it, but they insisted on picking one.
After insisting so much I told them that I’d already picked one, then MIL said ‘Well, it doesn’t matter, my son has the last say’ I said ‘Sorry?’ then FIL replied: ‘Yeah, my son has more rights to name the baby since he is the REAL dad’.
I was furious and my husband was petrified so I (didn’t let them explain what they said) grabbed their arms and kicked them out. My husband got back to reality and said ‘They are my parents and this wasn’t the way’ and as you can guess I ruined the party.
Everyone left and after that, my husband apologized for what his parents did.
Today morning MIL called my husband and stated that she was so disappointed about my behavior and that I hurt her by what I did. SIL says I was far disrespectful and overreacted since I didn’t give them time to explain themselves.
So AITJ, did I overreact?”
29. AITJ For Not Telling My Brother Our Mom Bought A DNA Test For His Baby?
“Last month my brother found out his soon-to-be ex-wife has been having an affair It was really messed up since he’s done so much for her. Both of my parents hated her so much since she has a very shaky history (pretty sure they hired a private investigator) and found out she’s been running away from home since she was fourteen, been in the system, was addicted to illegal substances, went to rehab, etc. She met my brother at a point where she was stable and had a job and everything but they still hated her since she refused to talk about her family and past.
When she got pregnant with my nephew back in 2018 my parents were both mad and didn’t think the baby was my brothers. At that point they didn’t speak badly about her since my brother threatened to never speak to them again if they didn’t accept her so they were fakely liking her but always talking badly about her behind her back.
One day I was coming back from school when my nephew was like a year and I walked into my mom putting something in his mouth and then putting it into a bag. I asked her what she was doing and she told me to mind my business.
I walked over and saw she had an Amazon DNA kit she ordered. I asked her why she’s doing that and she said that she needs to make sure he’s actually related to us.
I told my mom our brother would be mad and she told me there’s no way he’d find out.
She told me I can’t tell him and that if I do she won’t pay for my car or my college. I asked her if she was serious since she’s never threatened me and she said yes and that she’s not even telling my dad.
I thought it was super messed up and a few weeks later my mom told me the results were in and she was the grandmother. After that, she became much nicer to my ex-SIL so that took some guilt off me.
Once it was exposed she had an affair and they broke up my mom couldn’t wait to tell my brother that she always knew she was a flirt and even got the baby tested because she needed to make sure.
My brother got extremely upset at my mom and started asking me and my dad if we knew. My dad swore he didn’t know and when my brother asked me I couldn’t lie again. I told him I knew but mom threatened me but he didn’t care and isn’t speaking to me.
I was upset at first and felt bad but it’s been a week and I don’t care that he’s mad at me for not telling him. I was being threatened and was literally 17. My brother came over yesterday and we spoke and he asked me to apologize like our mom just did.
I said no and he got mad again saying I’m a jerk.”
28. AITJ For Saying That I Didn't Want To Be Part Of My Mom's New Family?
“My (16 f ) dad died 6 years ago and my mom remarried 5 years ago and has a stepson who is 10 years old and a stepdaughter who is 8 years old and she also had a baby who is 1 year old.
I do not feel the same about all my ‘siblings’.
I do consider my brother (14 m) and sister (12 f) as my real siblings, as the ones I would do anything for and would go to the ends of the earth to help. My stepsiblings. They’re young and I don’t have any negative feelings toward them but I have no loyalty for them.
It’s more or less the same with my half-sister. Being part of their lives isn’t as important to me as being part of my brother and sister’s lives.
My mom and her husband know this and so they started us in family therapy. We saw one for like three sessions but she didn’t deal with blended families, and neither did the second but she referred us to a blended family therapist. She spoke to us all a little before officially starting.
I was honest with her but she didn’t really ask the questions I know my mom and her husband were looking to have fixed.
Fast forward, and three weeks ago she asked in a session that was just me, my mom, and her husband if I cared that I wasn’t as close to the other siblings as my brother and sister.
The reason she asked is my mom had brought up that they wanted me to blend more and see everyone as equal to me (so her husband would be my parent and his kids and my half-sister just regular siblings). I said no. I opened up that for me I was fine with the remarriage, and I was fine that everyone else was becoming one unit, but I didn’t want to be part of that and I was okay with not being.
She told them that since they were only there for that reason, and since no other issues were present, there was nothing to gain from continuing sessions unless I wanted to but felt that I couldn’t bond the same.
My mom and her husband are furious that what I said ended therapy.
My mom told me I should want to make this work and I should want things to be stronger between us all. She said ending therapy was a trashy thing to do.
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Being Jealous Of My Mom's Relationship With My Best Friend?
“So, my mom got married really young and had me (19 f) really young – so I get that she never really found herself.
She came to Canada with my dad, who was twice her age and they raised me here until my dad died three years ago. My entire life, my mom has always been super traditional, like wearing formal clothes, praying every morning and night, and doesn’t want to see us in clothes that show skin.
After my dad died, my mom’s parents moved in for a little bit, and cause old people like to reminisce I learned what my mom was like before she got married and I even saw her wedding photos. She used to have really short hair, used to say she wasn’t a girl and refused to wear anything but boy’s clothes up to the day she met my dad.
Even in her wedding photos, you can tell she’s got short hair even though it’s covered.
So, my friend Ash is kind of just like that. Like up until grade 8, she used to say she’d much rather be a boy. She has short hair and the only time she’s ever worn a dress was for prom.
Last year she came out as bi and my mom was the most supportive person ever, more than Ash’s parents. Earlier this year, Ash found out she was pregnant and had a miscarriage, her parents kicked her out and her partner left her. She came to us for comfort and she and my mom have gotten super close and me and mom have gotten less close.
Like I’ve caught them cuddling on the couch, my mom stroking her hair, making her favorite food, going out for walks all the time together and even kissing on the cheek. Yesterday Ash had a job interview and was nervous and before she left my mom gave her a really long hug.
I guess I got weirded out and called my mom out on how close they’ve become. It started an argument and I said just cause she used to be like my best friend doesn’t mean she can replace me with her. She kind of blew up and made us pray for an hour because apparently, that disrespected my father.
Was I wrong to say that to her?”
26. AITJ For Berating My Stepson In Front Of Everyone At The Wedding?
“My daughter (16) Megan just finished her cancer treatment.
She’s lost her hair in the process and she’s been incredibly insecure because of it. She no longer meets friends nor welcomes them at our home or even meet family in person. It’s been bad, to say the least, but her stepbrother (18) Ben has been making it worse with his nagging comments and jokes about her looks.
He tried taking and posting pics of her secretly to share but I shut that down even though my husband thought it was just ‘harmless teasing’.
My husband’s sister’s wedding was last week. The family wanted Megan to go but she didn’t want to. I spent so much time trying to help her and convince her to start socializing again and see family.
She agreed under the condition that I let her wear a wig which I agreed, not only that but I took her shopping to pick her own wig and she looked beautifully stunning in her pixie hairstyle wig. My husband and Ben laughed when they saw it.
I don’t know why.
We went to the wedding and everything was going well til this happened. We were all sitting and we started talking about Meghan’s look, suddenly Ben reached out and pulled her wig and exposed her head. I was shocked I froze but Megan yelled then took her wig and ran.
Ben, his cousins, and some guests started laughing. I was upset especially when looked over my shoulder and saw my husband sitting next to his mom and laughing. I lost it on Ben and berated him in front of everyone then took my stuff, got Megan and got into the car, and went home.
Ben and my husband didn’t have a ride home and my husband kept calling me but I didn’t respond. He came home asking about me leaving mid-wedding and upsetting his sister and then leaving him and Ben with no rude home. I argued with him about how Ben embarrassed Megan and humiliated her publicly which must’ve ruined what’s left of her self-esteem.
He said that it was just ‘kids teasing each other’ and that I overreacted and Ben had no malicious intent he was just messing with her. I said I was sick of it but he said that this is their way of bonding as stepsiblings and I was getting in the way of it and being overprotective and unreasonable.
We didn’t talk after that and Ben is refusing to apologize and his dad is backing him up.”
25. AITJ For Leaving Class To Go To The School Clinic?
“I (18 male) suffer from something called M.E. also known as CFS or chronic fatigue syndrome. It doesn’t just make me tired but also causes me to have these sudden ‘attacks’ of nausea and dizziness. When these happen I have a tendency to pass out.
I have meds in the medical room I can take when I feel like this but I only have about 8 minutes to get there before I feel so bad I can’t stand.
I was sitting in a lesson last week and suddenly began to feel extremely nauseous and dizzy.
I raised my hand and asked my teacher to leave and she said no as I was ‘just trying to get out of the pop quiz we have at the end of the lesson’. I am normally gone for about 20 minutes and then return so I would have been back in time for the quiz.
I explained this to her and she told me that I was lying and that I would not be leaving her class.
I felt my legs start to get weak and knew that I had to leave now. I gave a signal to my friend and we both got up and he hook my arm around him and we began to leave.
Our teacher then proceeded to scream at us saying that I’m trying to get out of the lesson to bunk with my friend. At this point, I was as pale as a ghost and could barely stand so me and my friend just left. I made it to the med bay just in time for me to pass out.
The next day me and my friend both received a detention slip. We took it to our ‘career’ who is in charge of anything to do with us and she told us that there wasn’t anything she could do unfortunately so we would just have to******* up this once.
(We never went to that detention)
So, AITJ?
Edit: I have put in a formal complaint and the school takes those very seriously.”
24. AITJ For Defending My Partner From My Dad's Comments During Family Dinner?
“My (f 25) partner (m 25) and I moved about 7 months ago, and roughly 8 hours from the condo.
A few months ago my partner and I were invited by my Dad (m 57) to visit him, my stepmom, my half-brother (I’ll call him T), my sister, and my brother-in-law at his condo for a week.
We knew my Dad’s family was a lot to deal with, but decided to put this to the side and go visit since we hadn’t seen them in a while.
Little did we know The Masters was on that weekend and both of us are not really into sports.
So we spend the majority of our time watching them watch sports which is a little annoying because we drove all the way down to spend quality time with everyone.
So at one point, my dad asks ‘I bet you and your sister are wondering who’s gonna get the condo’.
This is so typical of him. Always prompting people to compete for the benefit of being close to him. Either way, I dismiss it by saying ‘Oh, I just kind of figured T (m 14) was going to get it’. Thinking this will end a potentially frustrating conversation before it starts.
Then he responds with ‘Oh he is going to get PLENTY’ which pretty much ended the conversation for me.
Finally, we have dinner. The whole dinner was going great at first. Then we got on the topic of fitness. He made a comment about how much T is lifting and everyone unenthusiastically was like ‘Oh wow cool’.
Then he looks at my partner and says ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but T is probably stronger than you’ to which my partner said ‘Maybe, he’s been going to the gym a lot more.’ And my dad says ‘No, his genetic code is just better than yours.’ I said, ‘Why would you say something like that?
I don’t understand why you have to put my man down and compare him to a child?’. My dad just gets quiet and pretty much stays that way for the rest of the night.
My stepmom and I went for a walk the next morning and she was trying to persuade me to forget about all the comments over the course of the trip and said she wants to see each other again in about a month.
I told her we wouldn’t see them for a while, not just because of the comment he made, but also because the trips down are expensive and pretty time-consuming. She said, ‘Well your partner is the weird one. He’s not really a man, he can’t even talk about sports with the rest of the guys’.
I explained to her that he’s never had issues talking to people. Then we walked back and all had our last breakfast of the vacation together in silence.
My dad had somewhat of a troubling upbringing. He lived in a trailer park with his mom that was more interested in sleeping with abusive men than going to his baseball game.
He’s worked hard for everything he has and I feel a lot of the issues stem from this.
It’s been a few months now, and my dad still refuses to bring it up, and only just started talking to me again within the last couple weeks.
What do you think… AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Ordering Food?
“My parents never got married and split when I was pretty young, probably around 2 or 3 because my father had an affair multiple times. I’ve lived with my mom for the majority of my life but around 3 years around we decided the best decision for me was to move in with my dad for better opportunities in school and sports, (I’m in high school).
My dad and I have had arguments on multiple occasions because he is very finicky with finances. I don’t currently work, although I’d like to, school and not having a car is going to prevent that. My mom occasionally sends me funds here and there since it’s just her.
On to the issue. I was home all day today basically doing nothing. My stepmom, brother, and father were working and I was watching my brothers. My stepmom takes my brothers to their practice and my brother and dad meet them there. It should have ended around 7 but they didn’t get home until 9.
Around 8:30 I texted my father asking to get food. He told me to find something to eat, and I texted him back, there was nothing to eat. (I’m not just saying that because I didn’t want to cook or anything like there was quite literally nothing to eat).
When he didn’t text me back within 20 minutes (I knew he had his phone on him because he ALWAYS does), I texted my mom and asked if she could send $25 so I could just Postmates myself some food. She actually gave me $50 and I told her thank you, I love you.
I got my food and began to take it out of the bag. My dad comes home, storms into my room, and starts yelling at me, calling me selfish and how I shouldn’t have gotten food because he was on his way home with it.
I simply replied, ‘You told me you weren’t getting food, that I should make food for myself. All you had to do was text me that you were getting food and I wouldn’t have gotten any.’ After going back and forth for a little bit, he got very loud at me calling me a selfish jerk and how I need to start thinking for the family, so I said ‘Yes I’m very selfish for ordering myself food after you specifically told me to make food for myself.’ He got even more mad and slammed my door.
We have gotten into arguments about finances before because he believes that once I start working, I need to start providing for the family, ie. buying groceries. I’m 16 and busy with school and sports and extracurriculars. I got a separate bank account that was at my school specifically because he told me he was going to control my finances.
My mom doesn’t approve of him and what he does, and neither do I. If I’m being completely honest, I hate my father but I know if I stay with him, no matter how unhappy I might be, in the long run, it will benefit me as compared to living with my mom being happy but not having a future.
So AITJ for getting food after he told me he wasn’t getting any?”
22. AITJ For Telling A Girl Who Likes Me That I Am Gay?
“I (20, straight male) have a younger brother (18 M). We are pretty close and a few years ago he told me he’s gay. He hasn’t told our parents because we were unsure how they would react.
There’s a girl (‘Lisa’, 19 F) who lives down the road from us and she’s had a thing for me for several years. I didn’t mind at first, but since she finished school she has been giving me more and more attention. She’s very loud and giggly and obnoxious and I’m not interested. She has a vegetable garden and often comes to our house with whatever she has grown that week, she somehow always seems to come around when I’m home alone.
We have a pool in our back garden that she often comes around to use as well.
I have not responded to any of her flirting but she also hasn’t made any real move so I never rejected her properly until last week. I got fed up and told her to back off and leave me alone.
She wouldn’t really, kept saying I just had to give her a chance and take her out, and that I should see her in her new bikini. I snapped and told her I’m gay to get her to back off.
That seemed to work but a couple of days later when my parents, brother and I are all in the lounge together my mum says we need to have a conversation.
She tells me that Lisa told her I was gay and that she and my dad fully support that. They both said they were proud of me and gave me hugs. I tried to say that I wasn’t gay but they wouldn’t listen. Meanwhile, my brother got upset and went to his room.
I went to check on him an hour or so later and he cried and yelled about how he should have been the one to have this chat with our parents and I had ruined his coming out.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Giving My Son A Dog Bed?
“So I (31 M) and my wife (35 F) have two kids (10 M, 4 F) and a large dog, her name is Margo and she’s 9.
About a year ago someone stole her, it took a lot of searching but we found her, during the time she was gone our son was distraught. And when we got her back he refused to leave her side for about a week. And this included sleeping in the dog bed with her.
Things are better now, but it’s not unusual to find him sleeping in the dog bed or just sitting on it and relaxing. I’ve asked him about it and he just says it’s more comfortable and relaxing than a normal chair. I don’t really have an issue with it but my wife doesn’t like it, she told me it’s dirty for him to sleep in the same bed as the dog.
I thought I had come up with an idea to kind of solve things. I bought a large dog bed, very similar to Margo’s but it was specifically for our son, to have in his room or to bring out into the front room.
I got it in his favorite color, yellow, and gave it to him while my wife was out (not intentional at all, it just arrived while she was out) and he loved it. He put it in the corner of his room and we actually rearranged and decorated his room a little bit.
After my wife got home while I was cooking dinner he dragged it out from his room to the front room to watch something. My wife asked him what that was and he excitedly told her about it. She was clearly unhappy but waited till he went to bed to say anything.
She blew up at me asking why I bought him a dog bed. I knew he found it comforting and I knew she didn’t like it when he’s in Margo’s bed so I thought this was a good solution. She accused me of treating our son like a pet and refused to hear any explanation from me.
She wants me to take it from him because she doesn’t want to be the bad guy. I refused, knowing how upset he would be. She’s now making comments heavily insinuating she will get rid of it. I didn’t really think this would be a big deal but now I’m not sure, have I missed something, AITJ?
Edit: He still sleeps in his actual bed, just sometimes during the day or when he gets nightmares or just sometimes because why not he’ll opt for the dog bed.”
20. AITJ For Making My Best Friend Pay For Her Food?
“I (21 F) am best friends with A (20 F). We are both college students and due to that this past year we haven’t hung out much so for the past week we decided to hang out last night.
She wanted me to come to pick her up from work at the mall which was a 30-min drive then drive home then go out. When I picked her up from work and brought her home, she realized she lost her AirPods which was a pair she borrowed from her significant other.
So we drove back to the mall for her to buy AirPods before anyone noticed. She was sad because she didn’t have a lot of money and had to spend almost 200$ on AirPods. I offered to buy us some food from the food court since she was hungry.
When we got to the food court, she didn’t like any of the options. She wanted Buffalo wild wings and said she and her mom spent no more than 30$ there together. So I said yes. At the mall, she ended up buying a couple more things.
I felt weird since she complained she was broke but I wasn’t buying anything so I didn’t mind spending no more than 50$ on food for us together.
When we got to BWW, she ended up ordering a large 18$ appetizer, an entree, and then food to go when I only had an entree.
I was doing the calculations in my head and I knew after tip I was spending at least 80-100$. She knew I was getting paid the next day but regardless I didn’t have a lot of funds on my card and wasn’t about to spend 100$ on a meal where I only ate 75% of the food.
When I asked how are we paying, she got quiet.
After about a min or so, she said she had no money and to be fair, I offered to pay for food at the mall. I said yes I offered to pay for food court food but then you said BWW and no more than 30$ so I wanted 50$ to be the limit but you ordered a lot more, plus another entree for you to eat at home.
I don’t have that much money. She ended up paying for only her entree and to-go food and I paid for my entree, her appetizer, and our drinks. The car ride home was quiet and now I’m being told that if I offered to pay for food, I can’t complain about what they order.
AITJ for making her pay?”
19. AITJ For Waking The Neighbors Up?
“My partner (25 M) is in the military.
We live in a foreign country to us, in Europe. He is currently on day shifts, which means he starts to work around 04:30 in the morning and gets home around 14:30. The issue is, our getting up invariably wakes our neighbors, as we have the top two stories of the house, and they have the ground floor and the basement.
Their bedroom is right below our kitchen, which we have to walk to to get to our front door. There is literally no way to be any quieter than we are, and we are well aware of how annoying it must be that they are woken up so early on his work days.
But it’s the military. He can’t be late for work or change shifts. We don’t want to be up so early either, and we are trying our best to be respectful.
We have had problems with them regarding noise before – until a few weeks ago, my partner was on swing shifts, which meant he started work around 1200 and would be home around 22:30 usually, at which point we would have dinner together because it would be the only real time we could see each other.
This sometimes involved me reheating or cooking the final elements of the meal but I was always conscious of the neighbors and trying not to disturb them.
Most nights, the man would come up to complain we were being too loud and it ruined basically every meal for us.
No matter that we ate in a different room and tried to explain this was our only hour of the day awake together. Anyway, his shifts changed to days and now we are having more problems.
Yesterday afternoon, the male neighbor came upstairs to explain the difference between slippers and outside shoes, because apparently, we were being too loud in the daytime.
We walk around in either just socks or sliders. Yes, we’re both tall and not light people, but there is some noise associated with living below other people.
Anyway, this morning we got up at 03:30 to get him ready for work, and as I shut the door at 04:00, the neighbor downstairs started screaming at us about being quiet and how rude we are and it was so early.
I admit, it touched a nerve, and as I speak the language of the country, I yelled back. Told her we were as quiet as humanly possible, he’s just going to work, we can’t do any better than we are doing, and basically to chill out and mind her own business.
Our landlord is ultimately on our side and admits the house echoes, though he does sympathize with neighbors (as do we!).
AITJ for waking them up (albeit accidentally) and then entering an argument so early in the morning?”
18. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Inviting His Mom And Her Partner With Two Dogs To Stay With Us?
“My partner’s mum has until June 20th to get out of her house. She’s been evicted as it belongs to her ex-husband and he’s sold it after they divorced. They have 2 lovely (but very excitable, loud, and hairy) dogs, German Shepard/collies, one of which is malting.
My partner obviously doesn’t want to see her on the street, and neither do I. He’s moving them all into our spare room until they can find a place.
The thing is, our house is a 300+-year-old cottage with no garden, no driveway, and carpets in every room except the bathroom (yes that includes the kitchen, trust me I’ve begged the land lady to change it).
Our landlady (also my partner’s nan and his mum’s mum) has said no dogs. We’re allowed other pets though and have a bird and a bearded dragon. The bird is wary of people, and can’t be held or touched, so I’m afraid having dogs in the house will scare him to death.
We’ll also have to vacuum daily to clean up the dog hair. And the house is not big enough for more than 3 people, let alone 4 adults, 2 dogs, a bird, and a reptile. His mum also doesn’t have a job and has refused to even discuss getting one to help out.
I’m annoyed because he doesn’t seem to understand the pressure this puts on me. I work 2 jobs to help us get by, I have studies to focus on, and I’m the only one of us who can drive, I take him to play cricket 2-3 days a week and pick him up, I drive him to work and take him home, I take sole care of the bird, I do all the vacuuming and all I want in return for not having the time to have any hobbies, see friends or relax is the privacy of living with just him.
I’m annoyed that his mum and her family is moving in and that I got no say, that he insists putting a bit of time pressure on the situation is out of the question. But if I refuse, his mother goes homeless which got me thinking, am I the jerk?”
17. AITJ For Destroying My Aunt's Diorama?
“My (27 m) aunt has always been great at arts and crafts and has recently started making little dioramas and sculptures with craft materials
Two years ago she made me one for my birthday – It was a little snowman on a wooden base with different aspects of my life like my dog, my car, my favorite restaurant, and where I worked at the time.
It had a little handwritten birthday message from her on the base. It was a really thoughtful gift and I love it – It now sits on the mantle at my new place
About a month after that birthday, my department got word we were being laid off.
This was a really emotional and rough thing because I really liked that job, it was a big middle finger from corporate, and it led to some rough parts of my life including my ex-fiance calling it quits because I wasn’t employed. I got my current job a few months later and things are much better now, but what happened still stings to think about.
Here’s where I may be the jerk. Before moving, I took out the diorama and took the name of my old job off it to get rid of the painful reminder. It was in foam letters hot glued on, so I just plucked them off and threw them away.
My parents were over for dinner last night and my dad immediately noticed it looked different. I told him what I did and why. My dad is very protective of my aunt and her feelings, and to sum it up, he was not happy. He said it was a petty move because when my aunt made it for me I had no idea the layoffs would happen.
I reminded him I really do treasure the diorama, but at the end of the day, it was mine to do with as I pleased. My dad still thinks it was disrespectful toward my aunt. He left after a bit, and while we’ve spoken since, it’s clear he’s still upset and I’m wondering if I went too far.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Standing My Ground In Wanting My Child To Have My Last Name?
“I (36 m) and my wife (36 f) have been together for 9 years and married for 7. Recently after many years of trying we are expecting the birth of a son in November (I know sometimes ultrasounds get it wrong but we are prepping for a boy). We couldn’t be happier.
When we were going out, we reached 3 months and we had one of those long discussions about the future, expectations, and deal breakers.
One of the deal breakers for her was she did not want to live in the city and if married she would keep her last name.
At the time I lived in an apartment in the city center but one of my deal breakers was I would want a partner to take my last name. I know the concept of the wife taking my last name is outdated but I love my last name and I loved the idea of passing it down to our kids (also I know my kids could change it if they wanted).
I thought about it for a while and agreed only if our kids could have my last name though. As this was only a general discussion she agreed and we moved on to the next topic.
Two months later we agreed to move in together.
Before looking for rentals I wanted to reiterate my feelings on the last name and chat as I would have to sell my apartment. We sat down and agreed to all the things that we discussed in the previous months. Now the last name of our child was the only thing I had not compromised on and it was so important to me that I got a scrap piece of paper (my niece had drawn a picture on the back) and got her to write down that she agreed, date and sign it.
I know it would not be legal it was more a symbolic gesture to show how important it was to me and I was serious.
Flash to now and we are choosing baby names and she vetoed one of my names because she said it didn’t go with her last name.
I was like what… we agreed that he would have my last name. She said she thought about it and thought that they should have her last name because she liked it and wanted to pass it down, and I should now change my last name to hers.
I bought up the fact that this was discussed and agreed to before we moved in and that this was one thing I had been talking about from the start and I had compromised on her last name among other things. She said it’s outdated thinking which I agree with, and she didn’t want there to be confusion at things like school.
I retrieved the original fake contract from my memory box and showed her. She then said it means nothing and things change. There was no yelling I just left the house and went to work (it’s after hours/night at the moment). AITJ for standing my ground on this issue?
I’m not going to leave her because it’s not worth throwing away an 8-year relationship but I feel betrayed on a level I have never felt and am truly upset. She has messaged me and said I can come back when I’ve stopped being stupid.
I may be the jerk as I came up with the idea of this ‘contract’ and my views on passing on my last name could be seen as outdated, as my kids could change it or get married themselves.”
15. AITJ For Ordering A Separate Dish For My Sister's Partner?
“Last night my parents asked to go out to dinner and offered to pay for everyone at a restaurant they wanted to share. They invited me, my husband, my sister, and her partner (I’ll call him Dave) My sister also invited a friend from work.
This restaurant encourages family style and that is what my parents wanted to pay for. Dave told the table that he would need a separate plate of noodles (Pad Thai) in addition to his share of the family-style plates. I started helping my mom build the list of dishes to order and we asked everyone what they would like.
Then I went over the list with everyone and asked if everyone was happy. My dad is nearly deaf, my mom can be shy, and my sister is happy with me organizing, so I would typically be the one to order in these scenarios, but I am never making decisions for other people, just collecting the list and ordering it.
When the waitress came back, I told her the list of shared dishes (about 8 total) and also ordered the Pad Thai for Dave and clarified that it would be for him, not shared. She then asked him if he wanted to add a protein. Dave got super upset and started saying things like ‘Wow I really did not like that’ ‘Wow this has never happened before’ ‘I have never had someone order for me’ ‘Wow I really hated that’ and ‘I’m going to have to process what just happened’ ‘Wow I don’t think I like that at all’.
I was kind of stunned, he was at the other end of the table and I didn’t mean to upset him. I thought I was being nice by making sure his separate dish was ordered, and I didn’t feel like I should be called out repeatedly in front of everyone.
To be honest, I’ve been frustrated with Dave lately because he is living with my parents and sister and he doesn’t contribute financially. I thought it was a bit rude for him to insist that my parents buy him an extra plate at a family-style dinner they were paying for, so adding on his very public outburst over me ordering for him has made me upset.
I talked to my sister about how Dave’s behavior last night made me frustrated and she said I was being overly sensitive and that it was rude for me to order Dave’s dish. Am I the jerk for ordering Dave’s dish at the restaurant while I ordered for the table?”
14. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Husband's Friend Who's Going Through A Divorce?
“My husband and his friend have been friends since college. My husband’s friend’s wife and I are also close friends.
I knew his wife since before their relationship and I knew him for a long time too. She is one of the nicest humans I’ve ever met, he wasn’t a bad person but secretly I felt like she was too good for him but I’d never say it.
Then she got diagnosed with breast cancer and she had to get a double mastectomy and go through chemo. Her hair fell out and she lost a lot of weight and she became depressed which was very hard to watch. This happened during the global crisis too so health care services especially counseling were hard to come by and often her appointment was delayed or cancelled. I had to drive her to appointments a lot because her husband would claim to be busy.
He would come to our house often and rant to my husband that she wasn’t sleeping with him anymore and she wasn’t attractive anymore so he didn’t want to sleep with her. They talked in his man cave so they thought I couldn’t hear but often I listened in and I would feel sick to my stomach at him telling my husband how he thought of his wife as disgusting because she threw up all the time and she looked like a little boy with her hair gone.
Around 8 months after her diagnosis he had an affair (could have been earlier it’s when I found out) and she asked for a divorce. I had to hold and comfort her while remembering all the horrible things he said about her. They are going through a divorce now and I can’t even look at him anymore.
My husband still hangs out with him and invites him over and we have had multiple fights over it. I told him I listened in on what they said and he yelled at me that it was private and I was upset that he could listen to what his friend said and still want to talk to him.
He said while he disagrees with his friend he won’t judge his friend’s actions and I feel disgusted at him for continuing that friendship.
This weekend he had a bbq party and wanted to invite his friend saying divorce is stressful. I lost my temper and we had a big fight over what he considers ‘his friend’s private matter’.
I just feel like he is capable of being friends with his friend after what he did he probably doesn’t think what he did was that bad. Honestly the more and more I think about it the angrier I am and he thinks I’m overreacting.”
13. AITJ For Bringing My Emotional Support Dog To Our Friends' Vacation?
“I have an emotional support dog, Lucy. She isn’t a trained service dog and isn’t legally protected. I don’t bring her into stores or anything. Mostly she’s a pet, except at night when she helps me with nightmares. I have CPTSD and extreme night terrors and without my dog, I will scream and cry.
But she can cue into the signs that I’m about to have a night terror and wakes me up before it gets bad. So, with Lucy, I can mostly sleep ‘normally.’ Without her, it’s a disaster.
This past weekend my friends rented a ‘cabin’ (more like a big vacation house in the woods) for us all to hang out.
There were 10 of us in total. I got a ride with two of my friends who I had been to a cabin with before. I brought Lucy last time and it was fine. No one said anything when she got in the car with us.
I had checked the Airbnb listing and it said pet friendly. I wouldn’t have come if it said no pets, because I know my night terrors would disturb the other people. But with Lucy allowed, I would be fine, so I didn’t think anything of it.
But when I got to the cabin, the significant other of my (sort of) friend Jake got really upset about Lucy. Apparently, she is allergic and didn’t bring any allergy meds and no one told her a dog was coming. This was my first time meeting her and I don’t even have Jake’s phone number, so I wouldn’t have been able to let him know.
I felt bad about it and suggested Lucy could stay outside on the patio until bedtime when she would sleep with me. But Sandra said Lucy couldn’t come inside at all because of the way the cabin was kind of a loft/open plan setup.
Not sure how to explain this but it’s like the bedrooms didn’t have ceilings and the main roof was way higher than the rooms. I suggested I go back home but the friends who drove me weren’t willing to drive all the way back. So Lucy had to stay on the patio all night.
It was terrible. I got the room next to the patio so she could sit at the sliding doors and be near me but she had never slept outside before, and it was in the woods with who knows what animals. I tried to sleep on the patio with her but I was cold and uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep.
If I don’t sleep at all my CPTSD symptoms get bad and I become a volatile mess so I didn’t want to risk not sleeping. So I went to bed inside, but of course, I had a night terror and woke everyone up screaming. Twice.
They were MAD the next morning. They all got together and ‘voted me out’ and said I had to leave. My one friend drove me home and barely talked to me the whole time. No one is responding to my apology texts.
I know it was probably a jerk move to bring a dog without checking with everyone but I didn’t know most people that well and last time it wasn’t a problem.
I didn’t know someone allergic was coming. But my friends all definitely think I’m the jerk and I may have lost this friend group. AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Wanting To Take A Photo Without My Daughter?
“I (35 M) have two children and one on the way. My soon-to-be three younger kids are with my wife, Bailey (34 F), and my oldest, Aria (16 F) is with an ex of mine, Sara (34 F).
Aria and I have never had the chance to be close, given that she and Sara live across the country. I see her on a fairly regular schedule, mostly over school breaks, but sometimes things come up. Sara wants to take her somewhere, commitments with my younger kids or my wife’s side of the family, etc.
Admittedly, we’re not incredibly close even when she comes to visit us. We DO talk, I’m not completely ignoring her. There just isn’t a whole lot for us to go off of, so she does her own thing, I do mine. I’m happy to take her on outings with my family when she’s here, text and call her when I can, and send gifts for Christmas and birthdays.
I’m just sorry to say that she’s more Sara’s daughter than mine, in both personality and relationship-wise. We don’t click the way that I do with my other kids, but I’m still trying to be a presence.
We try to get family portraits done once every other year, at least. Kids grow so fast and we’re just trying to capture those memories while they last. Bailey and I were talking about getting one done in late July or early August after the baby arrives.
I suggested August to give Bailey some time to rest before making any plans, but Bailey insisted on July since Aria is meant to be staying with us for a few weeks then. Apparently, she’d already told Aria that she’d get to be in the photo since she hasn’t been in any of the others thus far.
I’m not going to make my wife go back on her word and seem like a liar.
So I didn’t say no but suggested that we could go for two photos then, one with just the immediate family. She asked what I meant by that, and I explained to her that although Aria is biologically my child, she’s not necessarily part of our family unit.
She doesn’t live with us full-time; she pops in once or twice every year. We’re not raising her, she just visits us. She’s not any more involved with us or the baby than a distant cousin might be. Bailey got very upset with me and asked if I’d think the same way about our children if we were to end up splitting.
I told her of course not, but that was pretty much the end of the discussion. She told me I’d said a disgusting thing and she didn’t want to hear it.
I don’t want to be the jerk that chalks it up to hormones, but I can’t see where there was a problem with what I said.
I didn’t turn down the photos, say anything disparaging about Aria, or drag my other children into it. I’d just like a second opinion on if what I said was a problem. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Refusing To Manage My Husband And In-Law's Project For Free?
“I (35 M) am married to a wonderful man (37). We have two amazing kids (3 M, twins) together. My husband and his parents have a small clinic where they provide their services. My husband is a dentist. My FIL is a dentist too and my MIL is a dermatologist. It was only the three of them in the beginning but the clinic has expanded and they have hired more doctors to provide more services.
Here is where I come to the equation:
As the clinic is growing, they have a project in mind:
· more space to build around 5 new offices (consulting rooms)
· a small operating room
· X-ray room, ultrasound room
· the project also includes a whole renovation in the lobby and also landscaping.
I’m an architect and my husband asked me if I could manage the project. I first declined because I already have a project and told him that I can refer a fellow architect who I just started a new studio. She is smart and I know she can handle it very well, so after insisting and he lecturing me about how disappointed he’d be if I ever think of going to see another dentist and also asked me how I would feel If he refers another dentist to see me, and to be honest, I understood because If I had a dental issue I want no one but my husband to see me.
So, we four went to visit the site (I haven’t been there many times) to see what they had in mind and it was all fine. We went to a café to discuss some things and I asked about the budget they had and they told me the amount they had in mind so I asked, ‘Is my payment included there?’ They looked at each other annoyed and MIL told me: ‘Wait, do you expect us to pay since this is your husband’s and one day it’ll be your kids’?’ and I said: ‘Yeah, I still have to dedicate a lot of time doing this or do you expect me to design and supervise it for free’ so we just ended abruptly and my husband and I got home.
He didn’t say anything on the way back home but was seemingly upset. When we arrived he told me I was unbelievable and told me that the idea of expecting me to pay if I require his service would never cross his mind and reminded me that it’d be like it I expect my kids to pay because it’ll be theirs one day.
I reminded him that when we were engaged I booked an appointment with his mom and I paid and let him know that this work is way more expensive than an appointment (because they also expect me to supervise the project) but he said it was different because we weren’t married, I have to admit that I had a dental issue last year and hubby was the one who solved it but this project is way more expensive and I even told them that I was willing to give them a 50% off but they said this was out of the question.
My husband only speaks the bare minimum now and MIL said that this is like if I charge my kids.
So AITJ or they just want to take advantage of me?”
10. AITJ For Telling My Neighbor To Keep Her Kids Off My Yard?
“I live in a townhome community that has an HOA (homeowners association) that enforces the rules of the community.
I own my home and have been living here for about 5 years. The home next door to me is directly attached to my home and the owner rented the home out to a single mom and her two little girls.
I hardly saw the mom, but the girls would be out back playing in the strip of grass that ran the length of their yard, my yard, and the home on the other side of me.
While they weren’t really bothering me, I didn’t like that they would run through my yard (even though it is maintained by the HOA). It made it hard for me to have my dog outside to go to the bathroom because he would get distracted and always try and run over to the girls.
And the girls would egg him on. I mentioned something to the mom, but she didn’t seem to care much about my problem and still let her girls run wild.
Another instance is last year the mom let the girls plant pumpkin seeds in the yard.
Well anyone who knows how pumpkins grow knows that they have no boundaries and the vines started growing on my side. The lawn mowing company refused to mow because of the vines in the grass, so I had to work on the yard myself (it is a very small patch of grass, but still I am paying for lawn service monthly).
Well, I reported this to the HOA and they sent someone out to take all the vines and small pumpkins away. The mom was not happy with me even after I explained the inconvenience it caused me.
Well fast forward to a few days ago, I come home from work and the girls are playing on a slip-n-slide starting from my yard and ending in theirs.
I freaked out and went to the mom and said that she needed to get their things and keep her kids off my yard. She said it’s not ‘my yard’ because it’s owned by the HOA and I said I would contact the HOA to which she said ‘Do your worst’.
I did just that and also reported it to the guy who owned the home. I found out last night that he scolded her and told her that they need to be out by the end of ~the month~ of May (I found out the HOA has been telling him about the other things I complained about).
I feel kinda guilty that a put a single mom and two kids out of their home, but I feel it was justified too. So AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Come To Family Events?
“I am the oldest of 4 siblings. My only sister is the baby and is 13 years younger than me.
I’m 52, she is 39. We have never been close, in fact, I moved out when I was 18 and traveled a bit, so we never really got to know each other as adults. Every time I have tried to get to know her, she wants nothing to do with it.
2 years ago, she decided that she would not attend family functions if I was there.
Since my kids are grown, and hers are under 12, she gets precedence from my parents. However, this has divided the family tremendously, and my adult children have stopped going since I haven’t been welcome.
Every time I would text her asking her what I did to upset her, she just ignored me.
One morning, about a year ago, I woke up to a message from her saying that she doesn’t need to have a reason, she just doesn’t want me around.
I got very upset and started crying, which I never do. This upset my husband who sent her a very vulgar and nasty text, telling her to quit hurting my feelings. Before this, my whole family, (including my sister) adored my husband. My sister took the text to my elderly parents, said that she was now frightened of my husband and me, and told her kids to call 911 if they ever saw either one of us.
Last week, my brother, (who I am very close to and currently has the youngest grandchild), told my parents that he was not attending any family functions that I was not welcome at. So a quick meeting was held with my sister, who told my parents that she is ok with me coming, but only if I do not bring my husband.
When my mother told me this, I said I absolutely will not attend without my sweet and wonderful husband, who they all despise now since ‘the text’.
My mom got upset and said that this is a starting point to healing and now the ball is finally in my court after all these years.
I think this was a strategic move by my sister because she knows that my husband and I always have each other’s backs, no matter what. So now I am the bad guy for refusing to go. Should I go for just a short time and bring lots of goodies for the kids?
If I do go, AITJ to my awesome husband, who has only tried to stand up for me to my bully sister? I feel like I can’t win.”
8. AITJ For Making Wedding Guests Pay For Their Uninvited Kids' Food?
“My husband and I made it clear to guests that our wedding was child-free. I mean, I have a cousin with 8 kids and a lot of our family/friends have 2-3 kids.
The kids are generally good, so the main issue was cost. Our venue charges age 2+ the same as adults, which is $250pp (including tax/tip). It would double the cost and our venue wasn’t big enough for all the kids.
We wrote this on the website and clarified it with anyone who asked (and everyone asked).
We got a lot of grief over this, so we felt a fair compromise was to:
1. Extend the dinner the night before to include kids, and the restaurant was very nice about having close to 100 kids.
2. Hire 5 babysitters for 25-30 kids on the wedding night for locals who couldn’t find a babysitter last minute and for guests who traveled with their kids.
My in-laws offered their home less than 30min away to host all the kids.
On the wedding day, 3 couples showed up with their kids, a total of 9 kids (2 + 3 + 4 kids). My husband was more upset than I was because these folks were on his side. Groomsmen offered to drive the kids to the house, but they refused and made a scene.
My husband was called to handle it and he said fine, as long as (a) the kids don’t cause trouble and (b) the parents pay the per head for the kids, they can stay. The staff even quickly threw together a kids’ table.
I saw that unfolding and avoided it, and went about the day since it was a beautiful day and so much was happening.
When the ceremony started, one kid started wailing and another skipped down the aisle in front of me. I played it cool, and the staff was on top of it. They escorted the mom and the 2 kids outside. The rest of the ceremony went smoothly.
During the reception, the same 2 kids were screaming and throwing food. Other guests and staff were trying to get them to sit. At one point, one kid went under my dress, which was so weird. I didn’t notice and almost tripped. My bridesmaids pointed out that the food they threw got on my dress and that’s when I had enough.
I gave my husband ‘the look’ and he rounded up the kids, brought them to the parents, and asked them to leave for good.
After the event, and this is where we might be the jerks, we sent a bill to the 3 couples with a letter saying we had a lovely time with them and reminding them they agreed to pay for the uninvited kids.
Two couples paid and were apologetic, and even said now they understood why we couldn’t include the kids. Of course, the couple with the 2 rowdy kids refused to pay because we asked them to leave before the cake… seriously.
Instead of apologizing, we got a nasty call.
All I said was they should be lucky I didn’t send the dry cleaning bill for the dress. My husband even said this concludes their friendship. This weekend, they wanted to visit and we said no thanks. They asked if we were still mad about them not paying and uh yeah, we are.
AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Giving My Son's Car To Her Sister?
“I (F 48) have a son Jack (M 19) and a daughter Alyssa (F 18) and am married to Tom (M 50). Tom is Alyssa’s father, but Jack’s father is my ex-husband Dan (M 48). Dan and I had a pretty ugly custody fight and he lives in NY while we live in TX.
Over the years Dan has unsuccessfully tried to get Jack to move in with him. It wasn’t easy to fight him off since he is a very successful lawyer.
Jack is a pretty popular kid in school. His friends on the wrestling team came up with a prank for him to ask a heavily autistic girl who had a crush on him to the prom as a joke and for him to show up wearing a gorilla suit. Jack originally said no, but the wrestling team actually raised a fund which got to be somewhat north of $800 for him to do it and they paid for the gorilla suit. Jack agreed. If it matters, this is very out of character for him.
After the prom, I was looking around on Instagram and saw pictures of him in the gorilla suit and was surprised that he didn’t take his partner Jess. After reading the comments, I learned what happened. To say I was furious doesn’t even do it justice.
I woke Jack up as soon as I saw it and screamed at him until my lungs gave out. Then when Tom heard what was going on, he joined in.
Tom and Jack have never gotten along. I can’t prove it, but I suspect Jack’s father Dan has a hand in that.
Jack told Tom ‘Shut up, I’m talking to my mother.’ So, we took away all of Jack’s electronics, including his phone, and we paid for a car for his graduation present. Because of his prank and disrespect to Tom, we instead gave it to Alyssa.
We also forced him to give us the $800+ and we gave it to his date and made him write a letter of apology. He was also grounded for a month and we cancelled his 18th birthday party.
When Jack’s birthday came, there was a knock at the door.
It was Dan and he had suitcases. Tom said ‘What is this? The custody agreement says you don’t get him on this birthday?’ Dan just looked past Tom and said ‘Hey kid, I’m here for the jailbreak.’ He then pointed at a Mustang and said ‘Hope you like Fords.
You can practice driving your new car on a road trip back to NY. Let’s take a detour to NoLa.’ The two of them were laughing, high-fiving, and backslapping and they just ignored us as we tried to intervene. The only time Dan acknowledged me was to look me in the eye and say as cold as ice ‘Checkmate.’ and for Jack to yell as they were driving off ‘Shut up, Tom!’
Since then, Jack has gone totally no contact with me. He talks a little bit to Alyssa and from the little he does tell her, he’s doing well and Dan is giving him the royal treatment, bringing him to steak houses, and Yankees games, and just giving him outright cash.
It has been almost a year and I’m going crazy thinking I’ve lost my son. So AITJ?
Edit: Alyssa is my stepdaughter. We really have a mother-daughter relationship to the point where it doesn’t even occur to me to call her my step. At the risk of understatement, Jack never warmed to Tom the same way.”
6. AITJ For Telling My Cousins Who Among Our Aunts Didn't Want Them To Know About The Adoption?
“I (21 F) am currently pregnant with a baby I will be giving up for adoption, for reasons that aren’t really relevant here. I have been quite honest about this since it’s quite noticeable at this point and I don’t want people to suddenly get excited or something…
One of the first people I told is my aunt. She and her husband & kids are the only family I have. Her reaction was strong, to say the least, as she absolutely doesn’t agree with it. It turned into a whole fight but we still somehow got through it (we have a complicated history) but this topic we will never agree on.
She brings it up nearly every time we see each other & is convinced I’ll change my mind and want to keep the baby anyway. She even got me some baby stuff & has been demanding to come with me to appointments. (I don’t let her but it’s been hard.
I don’t want to lose my only family.) She speaks about the baby like it’s 100% gonna stay.
A few days ago I was over there to see my cousins (7 F & 5 F) when suddenly the little one started telling me how excited she is for the baby to come.
I was completely taken aback. I asked her what she was talking about (I didn’t even think they knew I’m pregnant) & they both told me their mom told them I’m gonna have a baby and that they’ll have a baby cousin to play with & that I’m gonna be a mom.
I completely panicked. My cousins mean the world to me but when I got upset, I told them I’m sorry but that it is gonna go to another wonderful family who really want a baby. They didn’t seem too upset.
I left shortly after though and that evening my aunt called me furious that I told them this when I know she didn’t want them to know about this & something she doesn’t support.
She’s still VERY upset with me, saying they’re heartbroken & won’t let me see my cousins.
I know I’m doing the right thing, but AITJ for telling my cousins whose mom didn’t want them to know?”
5. AITJ For Giving My Mom A Copy Of "Anna Karenina" For Her Wedding Anniversary?
“I’m (16 M) and I love my mom (35) but when I was 10 she had an affair and left us.
I visited her as often as I could and she always seemed so happy when I was there but I hated her new family so I stopped visiting. Honestly we rarely ever saw each other after just for my birthday and events really. She wants us to be close but I want nothing to do with her new husband so I’ve kept my distance.
Except on Feb 20th, my dad announced he’d be out on business till the 12th and my grandparents are stuck visiting relatives in Italy and so I really had nowhere to go and my mom jumped at the chance to have me stay with her.
And just my luck that my mom’s anniversary with her husband was on Sunday.
I haven’t had a good time here at all so all I do is stay in my room doing homework or go out with friends to avoid family activities cause it sucks seeing how lovey-dovey she is with her husband and how they seem like the perfect family with their daughters.
The morning before her anniversary day she came to my bed and tried to cuddle with me like before she left us but it made me angry like we can’t go back in time and pretend it’s how it was. So I just pretended to be asleep and stayed curled up and frozen till she left. I started crying cause of that and I felt angry and snarky.
My mom majored in literature so I got her a copy of Anna Karenina for her anniversary. That book’s about a lady who leaves her husband and son for her lover. I’ve never read it but I watched the movie with my SO and I hated it.
The anniversary party was on Sunday. Everyone was having fun but me and then people gave their gifts. I gave mine and when my mom saw what it was she seemed shocked but just said thanks. The party ended about an hour after. But at night when she was in her room I heard her crying really loudly.
So I kinda eavesdropped a little and heard her saying stuff about that book and me and her husband trying to calm her.
The next day at breakfast she left for work early before I woke up and her husband straight up called me a jerk and other stuff for gifting them that.
It’s been a few days now and my mom has barely talked to me. Honestly, I feel so wrong I made my mom cry but at the same time I don’t want to be here and she knows that so am I really the jerk?”
4. AITJ For Not Paying For My Son's Surgery Like I Did With My Dog's?
“I (57 f) have a beloved yellow lab (5 f) and a son (26 m).
Last year my poor puppy girl tore one of her ACLs (anterior cruciate ligament) while we were out on a hike. Seeing my poor girl limp broke my heart and the vet told me the only option was ACL surgery.
I of course paid the 15k to get her fixed up despite it being a pretty big strain on my finances but honestly, my dog’s health comes first.
My son is a successful kid for the most part. He works full-time and lives on his own.
He just recently turned 26 and I told him numerous times he is going to need to get his own health insurance as he’s not allowed to be in mine anymore. He kept telling me he knew this and would handle it.
Well last weekend my son was playing in one of his soccer games and he got into a bad accident on the field and ended up tearing his ACL.
He is now demanding I help pay for his surgery because of course, he couldn’t send one email to HR to enroll in his workplace’s health insurance. He says this is my fault for not reminding him he’s not on my insurance anymore enough.
I want to help him but honestly, we have no idea what this will end up costing and I’m still pretty strapped from my sweet puppy girl’s surgery last year, plus the hubs and I would like to retire in a few years and I’m not sure we can do that if we take on who knows how much medical debt.
My husband agrees with me but the rest of my family is blowing up my phone and saying I’m a huge jerk for not paying for the same surgery for my son that I have paid for for my dog. So AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Cutting My Ex Off And Not Telling Him Our Daughter Has Cancer?
“I (f 24) have a 3-year-old daughter with my ex (m 27). We split up in December 2020 after I found out he had an affair, and since then he has been almost completely absent in my daughter’s life. He has visited a grand total of 10 times, never pays for any costs at all, insults both me and her, and has made nasty posts on his Instagram calling me an ugly witch, and has made several posts calling our daughter ugly as well.
Flash forward to a few weeks ago, and my daughter started complaining of pain. She was running a fever and had some pretty nasty bruising. I freaked out and took her to the doctor, only to be told that it was a sickness that would go away – nothing serious.
I called my ex and was trying to tell him how worried I was, but he told me he didn’t care and hung up.
Because of this, I cut him off and just resolved not to tell him anything else.
Eventually, I took my daughter back to the doctors and begged them to do something else.
B***d tests and other tests were performed, and it turns out she has B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. This is the scariest moment in my life. As I sit here, writing this, my daughter is down for sedation and counts. We’ve been in the hospital since her diagnosis two weeks ago.
I’ve cried more than I’ve ever cried in my entire life, and seeing her tiny body infested with this horrible disease is almost more than I can handle.
Last night I made a social media post about my daughter. My social media account is private, and I’m not friends with my ex or any of his friends.
I am friends with his sister though, we haven’t talked since I broke up with him, so I pretty much forgot about it. Well, she saw the post and told him. I didn’t check my phone most of today because I am so preoccupied that I don’t have time.
When I opened my messages today, I saw over 20 messages from my ex (and his mother) calling me horrible names, telling me I should have told them, and that I’m a trashy person for not telling them. He called me a witch again and told me that it was his daughter too, and he had the right to know about this.
I asked if he would like to come to see her, and he declined but twisted this to his family, and now everybody is mad at me.
AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Skip Her Cousin's Wedding?
“My (54 m) niece Taylor (26 f) got married a few days ago, and my daughter Vienna (27 f) was part of the bridal party as a bridesmaid. This wedding has been over a year in planning and Vienna of course knew of her role and everything way in advance.
She’s been hanging around a guy, Matthew, for a while now but I don’t think they’re anything serious. Matthew had gone to a different state on a business trip and got into an accident, this all happened a couple weeks before Taylor’s wedding.
Vienna found out and had a nervous breakdown, saying that she needs to fly out immediately.
Yes, I understand she was upset but she wasn’t thinking straight, and unnecessarily worrying. I explained to her that even if she goes she has to come back before the wedding, but it’d be better if she didn’t as there are a lot of last-minute things.
She didn’t listen and kept saying she was going to go and probably stay there for a while.
Both I and my wife tried to explain to her to stay calm and that she can go anytime after the wedding. She called up Taylor, my brother, and his wife and told them she wouldn’t be able to attend.
Taylor understandably didn’t take the news well and his wife made a whole social media post saying ‘Some people don’t want to see others happy’ and ‘Isn’t it nice when family quits at the last moment’. She didn’t mention us by name explicitly but it’s obvious what it was about.
It pretty much caused nuclear warfare throughout my side of the family, but Vienna wouldn’t hear it and booked a flight before the wedding.
All of our flyer accounts are linked so I canceled her flight – Vienna went insane when she found out and we had a huge argument, and again we told her that she really needs to understand how big of a deal this wedding is as she’s part of the bridal party, and some man doesn’t overtake a family obligation.
I even offered to pay the extra cost so she can reschedule the flight after the wedding, but she blew up at all of us. Vienna did attend the wedding and did all her duties as a bridesmaid (and thankfully didn’t make a show), and all of us thanked her for understanding but she pretty much cursed us out (even my brother and his family).
I and my wife tried calling and messaging her after the wedding but she’s not picking up or answering. I do know that she flew out the day after the wedding so I really don’t see what the issue is, but Vienna was clearly mad at us.”
1. AITJ For Making My Bridesmaid Feel Guilty For Not Coming To My Wedding?
“I’ve had a long engagement with my fiancé (got engaged in December 2019). We were supposed to get married in 2021 but you can understand why that couldn’t happen.
So our wedding happened this past weekend. One of my best friends was supposed to attend as a bridesmaid but she skipped last minute because of an emergency.
To be honest I was mad she skipped because the emergency happened almost a week ago so she had time to figure things out and attend.
So what happened was that her fiancé got in a car accident and was hospitalized. He was hospitalized for 5 days and on Friday he got discharged to go home.
My friend had told me from the moment he got into the accident that she’ll skip the wedding just to be sure and I told her we’ll see. So when I saw that he got discharged on Friday I expected my friend to show up at the wedding after all since his situation is not as dangerous right now.
I texted her but she said that she’ll not be able to make it.
She kept saying how he was still not well and being discharged doesn’t mean he can stay alone without care for many hours and since my wedding day would start at 9 am on Saturday with the preparations etc, the ceremony would be at 7 pm on Saturday evening and the reception/party would last until Sunday morning hours she couldn’t be away from home for that long and she said she could compromise if she could only attend the ceremony.
I said I don’t want her there just for the ceremony and she’s a bridesmaid and supposed to be by my side the entire time. I also said that she should find him some care for the day so she can freely attend the wedding and I suggested inviting either her parents or a friend to stay with him for that day (his parents live far away).
She said it’s not the same and she won’t feel right being away for the entire day.
I got pretty upset because she seemed to totally disregard my wedding after so long making preparations and while I understand it’s her fiancé, I was mad she didn’t find a compromise to attend.
She claims her compromise would be to just attend the ceremony and then go home again but she’s a bridesmaid. If she’s not there for the full experience it would be pointless.
She said I’m a jerk for making her feel guilty about caring for her hurt fiancé and she said that his situation takes priority over my wedding.
She said she’s not sorry for prioritizing her SO’s health over me at this point and if I was a good friend I’d understand instead of guilt tripping her and that I better not complain if I’m ever in a difficult situation and I need my husband’s help and support and he chooses to attend someone’s wedding over caring for his wife.
AITJ?”
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