People Are Eager To Get Feedback For Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
35. AITJ For Wishing My Family Put In The Same Effort As I Do For The Holidays?
“I (52f) have always been expected to be the holiday planner. I’m Pagan. Xmas isn’t even my holiday, but I always have stepped up to make sure that my family had a great one.
Tree – check! House decorated – check! Full-on feast, when I was still able – check! We would take a few moments during Solstice to open a present but the rest was for Xmas morning. Even when I was going through cancer treatments and through my current health decline, at a minimum I made sure stockings were stuffed, gifts were plentiful, and the holiday ambiance was in full swing.
Asking for help with any of it is like pulling teeth. My husband doesn’t step up unless I specifically ask. Kids (now 20m, 16f) would help for a few minutes, then find something more interesting to do. There is no tree or decor this year because I’m too incapacitated to do it.
None of them have ever taken the reins and suggested decorating or anything. I should probably also say that 3/4 of us are diagnosed with ADHD. That adds a layer.
As much effort as I’ve put in over the years, I have never gotten a stocking that had more than the 1 or 2 pieces of candy that I put in there the night before.
I have gotten some good presents, but most of them were received days after when they realized I had nothing to open. Last year, I broke down and was promised it would be different this year, but it wasn’t. Now, I’m in my room, spending the day alone.
I know that maybe this sounds materialistic, but I don’t mean it to sound that way.
I would just like to be considered… Thought of. I feel like I have no value in this family. My heart is broken.
AITJ for wanting something more?
Edited to add: I want to be clear that their intent isn’t malicious. I think they just don’t consider/see me sometimes.
That’s what hurts.”
34. AITJ For Accepting A Low Price On A High Cost Item?
“My husband’s ex-work buddy had inherited his mom’s land (38.34-acre farm, $650k) plus 30k in her bank plus life insurance.
After selling and making 7k off of furniture and antiques he quit his job. All he talks about is how much money he has fallen into.
He called my husband, son, and me over to help sort and price items. We helped him for 3 days with no pay. (it’s what friends do).
He kept trying to give me items for my labor, I didn’t want to do that. He knew I wanted a she-shed so he told me that he has an old portable building 10×16 bought in 2008. He said he wants $100 for it. I thought he was joking. He said in between the cost of delivery and the work all 3 of us had done for him, he said $100 is fine.
He said he should have his mom’s 30k out of the bank soon when he gets the death certificate.
I am beyond ecstatic! The shed has a lean-to on it but the sides are rotten so I was going to just keep the top (both shed/lean-to have a metal roof on them).
We had a quote of $1,200 to move the shed (without the lean-to). We found another for $700-non-refundable. So I paid Tim the $100. I paid the movers in two payments.
Two days before the move, our mover got sick. Rescheduled for the following Friday (Sept 16th). The day before on Sept 15th, Tim sent my husband a text.
Sorry, I have to give your $100 back. I just had a neighbor offer $1,000 for it. I told him sure but he owes us the $700 non-refundable payment. He refused and said he can give us $150 back. My husband called Tim and said it was not right to assure us of the price and then take back the deal we made.
Tim agreed and said that we can get it Friday.
We get there Friday and transport said the shed and lean-to need to come apart. We paid $200 to have the two pieces separated. We had the shed moved and we had it scheduled to move the lean-to this weekend. My husband sent a text today to let Tim know what time Saturday we would be out there.
Tim replied back. ‘Don’t bother. It’s gone, I sold it’. My husband’s response was ‘What? Why?’ Tim replied ‘My 3 friends say you’re a piece of crap for taking advantage of me when I have no money.’ That’s all we got from him.
Less than 3 weeks ago he had 7k.
I found out from one of his 3 friends he spent a lot of it on gaming machines here in Illinois. They also said that since his mom died the death certificate will be held for 30 days so he doesn’t have access to her bank account. He is now broke and taking it out on us.
Now Tim hates my husband and I’m upset because this wasn’t my intention. I like helping people, not hurting them. I feel like garbage because in his eyes I deceived him.”
33. AITJ For Signing An Offer For A House That I Want?
“I (34F) recently purchased a house with my partner (35M), ‘Frank’. I had budgeted that we could afford a house priced at $1 mil. But would need help with the down payment. It became clear that we would have to go over this to get the house we want.
My parents were willing to help out but Frank’s parents wouldn’t say how much they could help, so we assumed we would get no help from them and if we did, it would be a nice surprise. Because of this, we started looking at houses with my parents. We eventually found a house we all liked priced at $1,045,000.
Before signing an offer we (parents, realtor, Frank, and I) discussed how much we would need to loan from my parents. This came up to about $135,000. No small sum. We discussed putting in an offer with no conditions. We were all in agreement and we submitted an offer at the listing price and it was accepted.
Throughout this process, I have been updating my sisters through our group chat about the houses we were looking at and the offers we were putting in. So when the offer was accepted I updated the group on this as well. I spoke with my older sister, ‘Cathy’ to discuss the finances and she discovered that Frank’s parents were not offering any help.
She said that I had done this backward by not determining where the money was coming from and that I was inconsiderate by signing an unconditional offer for the house I wanted leaving the family to figure out how to come up with the money. I explained that I had discussed all of this with my parents and they agreed to put in an unconditional offer.
She asked why I didn’t include her since she’s the one who manages the finances and needed to know how much money to take out and when. She said she’s ‘not just a banker who moves funds around’ and that she needs to consider what is best for our family’s finances.
Cathy said that we would be loaning Frank’s half, plus interest to him. I said I would discuss all of this with Mom and Dad, who I was on my way to see at the time.
I spoke with my parents about the loan with interest and said that Cathy was really mad at me because she thinks I tricked them into buying this house I wanted. My parents disagreed with loaning the funds with interest and said that they would speak to Cathy.
The talk happened this past weekend. I wasn’t there but I received a wall of text from Cathy at 2 am today in the sister group. She accused me of causing a rift in the family by involving our parents in our disagreement. (She was rebellious in her youth and is regretful of the disappointment she caused our parents in the past. She’s been trying to make up for it ever since.
She’s very sensitive to our parents’ criticism. She sees this as another blow to her relationship with our parents.) It ends with ‘I have nothing to say to you other than have a great life and see you never.’
AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be My Sister-In-Law's Free Babysitter Anymore?
“We just moved abroad 5 months ago to North Africa.
We were living in France and decided to go for it. I (30f) have two sons 5 and 2 years old. I do not work and in this country, summer holidays begin on the 15th of June to the 15th of September. I have no family here (they are all in France) and my husband’s mother came for the summer.
We live in a big house next to my BIL’s house.
My sister-in-law gave birth via c-section two weeks ago. My MIL, her mother, and I did what we could to ensure she had a safe pregnancy and before she gave birth my MIL came a month before to help my SIL.
Why I might be the jerk: During those 3 months, I took her children many times (3 to 4 times a week) so she could rest. In our garden, we have a door that communicates with their garden and I literally babysat the children from 8 am to sometimes 9 pm.
My husband works and sometimes needs to travel, leaving me with my sons.
As I said I have no family here so nobody to rely on.
Well to put it bluntly, my SIL, MIL, and SIL’s mother just send me the kids if they have ‘something to do’ like cleaning the house, cooking, or just taking care of the baby and the mother because she needs rest. I get it, she is super tired BUT they just send the kids to me and I have to do everything with four kids who are fighting/angry/hungry, etc. While my SIL is resting, my MIL and her mother cook and take care of the house and baby while I am struggling to cook a meal or clean the house without a kid falling down the stairs.
Today apparently while my MIL, my SIL’s mother, and SIL were in the house my husband called me and told me they did not have bread and it’d be super nice to get it for them. I said okay but not with four children. I could let them (the two grandmothers) take care of the children while I get the bread.
I called my SIL and she told me ‘No, we’d rather eat without bread than have the children with us plus they would make a mess and they just finish cleaning and cooking’.
I lost it and called my husband. I told him I was not a free babysitter or a cleaning lady.
I said that his brother and wife needed to get a grip and take care of their children, to grow up and that they had already two people ‘helping’, and that I was done with babysitting his niece and nephew.
Those 3 women rely on me to take care of their grandkids/children while I have my children to care for, I find it unfair.
AITJ for refusing to help anymore?”
31. AITJ For Stopping Financially Supporting My Partner?
“I have been with my partner for almost a year now. Her family (she, her mother, her grandmothers, and a cat), used to live off her grandmother’s pension + some bonuses related to that, but after her grandmothers died, they were basically out of luck and had no financial income.
I decided to help and offered to financially support them, so my partner wouldn’t have to look for a job because she used to be a student at the uni at the time and I just didn’t want her to work, because I didn’t want to see her exhausted, since she also took time to learn programming and I felt that all this might be too overwhelming to her.
That happened about 7 months ago and everything was fine.
Fast-forwarding to today, she quit her uni a few months ago and now she decided to find a job, since she wanted more money, since the amount I was able to give wasn’t enough for stuff she wanted (more cosmetics & cosmetic procedures, buying a car, and doing some renovations in her mother’s flat).
I said that it was cool and that if you feel like you need more money, then sure (it would be about like 1.8x of what I was giving them). I said that then I would stop giving her money, since she would have her own income source by then (and I was giving it, so she could stay jobless and learn programming & study), but will keep covering the rent and food (we live together in my flat now), as well as other basic home needs, as I still have more income than her, and felt that it would be fairer to do it that way.
Then she argued that she wants me to still give her some amount of money, so she can afford the things above more easily and she said that it’s fair since I earn more and every family does finances like that. I argued that it’s unfair since I am already covering basic needs and while I don’t mind giving her gifts here and there, she is in no position to demand those.
Now she claims that she wants to leave me over this and that I am selfish and only live for myself.
AITJ for doing this? I don’t mind helping, but I feel like more luxury stuff is primarily her own concern and I shouldn’t be guilted into financing them.”
30. AITJ For Excluding My Youngest Sister From My Bridal Party?
“I have three sisters. An older sister and two younger sisters. Emma (oldest), Katie (younger), and Ella (youngest). Emma, Katie, and I have always been close. I consider them my friends and not just my sisters. But Ella was always the odd one out.
She was spoiled by our parents which made her insufferable to be around. She has been demanding, rude, and just a pain in our butts. She always wanted to hang with us, but only do her thing, and would get us into trouble as kids to get her way. Then as we got older she would still attempt to only with our parents cut off (for spoiling her and expecting us to act like she was the most important person in the world and punishing us for not) it did absolutely nothing.
She’s not any better as an adult so we don’t really associate with her either.
For my wedding, I asked Emma and Katie to be my bridesmaids. But I did not ask Ella. We had some photos go up on social media where I called them my bridesmaids and extended family asked how I could not ask Ella.
She also called to say I was a jerk and that she was tired of being kept on the outside. She said part of being a family is sticking together no matter what. I ended up stepping back from social media but family continued to reach out and tell me how they know Ella can be trashy but she’s still my sister and she was the only one left out yet again.
They claim I could make this a chance for us to bond better and strengthen our sisterly ties.
Because I haven’t tried to change it now that Ella knows and is upset, some family members are telling me I will be that person who excluded one sibling in such a public way.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Giving A Guest A Full Refund?
“My husband and I (both 30) own an Airbnb. It’s a whole house that is over 100 years old and on the historic registry. We have updated the bathroom to be modern as well as the kitchen but with both kept historical accuracy on some aspects but it’s still restored.
The whole house is like this. Historically accurate but restored or updated. We are super hosts which means we have high ratings and next to no bad reviews. This means your cleanliness is 4.5 or higher, accommodations accuracy responsive, etc is all 4.5 or higher for ratings out of 5.
So we get this booking for almost 30 days.
It’s a pretty high payout and it’s for 3 guests. The person who booked messaged and said it was for him and his 3 employees because they were coming to do work in the area. Great.
We had just finished some more updates to the place just to make it more enjoyable to guests so the day before they checked in we had completely deep cleaned since we tore some things apart and it was a MESS.
LOL.
Anyways 3 days go by. No word from the guest which is fine, but then on day 4 the person who booked, messages and says that his employees have been bitten head to toe and we have bed bugs. Naturally, I’m horrified because one we have never had any problems with other guests and I hire a pest company since it is a 111-year-old place and I want to stay on top of pests.
I tell him this and I ask to see the bites and he sends me 1 picture of someone’s back that was clearly not taken at my Airbnb (which, ok fine) but the bites are 3 nickel size bumps and that’s the only thing he sends. So I suggest they look like mosquito bites but just to be safe I’ll have my pest guy come out that day to look over things and to give their professional opinion that we don’t have bed bugs.
He says fine but his guys don’t feel comfortable with staying (which is when I learn he booked it for them and he isn’t even there he still is in his hometown) which if you know Airbnb you can’t book on others’ behalf.
So he says just for that night he isn’t having his guys there.
I say ok if my pest guy says there are no bugs they can come back, he says ok. So long story short. No bugs no pests whatsoever since I regularly get serviced. I send this report to him but tell him as a courtesy I will refund one night since his guys didn’t stay that one night because they were afraid of pests.
After I refund the one night he immediately cancels, and asks for a full refund, and sends a long message saying our Airbnb is unclean and full of pests, and we did nothing to right the wrong. When a guest cancels their stay they get 20% back which he got and is still wanting the full amount even after Airbnb said that his claim wasn’t valid.
Now he’s threatening to sue me if I don’t give him his full refund. I do not think he deserves it not after how rude he was and how we are out of funds and can’t make up other bookings for a while because of this and his very rude review.
So AITJ for not refunding his payment?”
28. AITJ For Kicking Out My Mom Because She Was A Jerk To My Wife?
“My mom and my wife typically get along fine.
I think they might find each other a bit annoying, but she isn’t one of those MILs you read about. We just don’t see much of her as no one in the family is close.
I have an aunt who hates my guts. She is mad because when she disowned her son I gave him some money.
This led to a huge fight where my aunt and wife said nasty things to each other. My mom didn’t get involved, but at the end of the day, I do believe she loves her sister more than any of her children. My dad made it known that he was on my aunt’s side, and as a result, my wife’s relationship with him soured.
Anyway, my mom offered to crochet my wife a bathing suit cover-up. The pattern required black and yellow for sunflowers, and then you could pick the base. My wife picked lavender. My mom came over the other day to give my wife the coverup as a birthday gift. It was blue instead of purple.
My mom said she hopes the blue is ok but my aunt demanded the same coverup in purple but did not want to match with my wife ‘because she hates you’.
I asked my mom what was wrong with her to phrase it like that. My mom seemed confused and said it was true and we had to know she hated us.
My mom apologized and said she hopes she likes it, but at the end of the day, she is going to put her sister first.
I lost it and told her she was being a jerk to my wife and she can’t disrespect my wife in our home. I told her to get out.
She looked shocked but left, and went crying to my dad who left me a long voicemail cussing me out. Now my entire family is furious because they feel she didn’t do anything wrong and it was a don’t shoot the messenger situation. I’ve been called entitled for even implying she should prioritize my wife over her sister (which I don’t think I did) and apparently my mom is mad because my wife posted a picture wearing the coverup, and it was ‘entitled’ to wear it after kicking her out of the house.”
27. AITJ For Being Mad At My Husband For His Opinions About My Being On Birth Control?
“I’m having a very uncomfortable period, irritation, fatigue, and cramps. I’ve been talking to friends about it in a group chat about menstruation issues & birth control & sterilization. I don’t talk to my husband other than occasionally complaining about cramps hurting because he doesn’t have a uterus and has no experience with menstruation issues.
My mother called and the subject came up: she told me she had her tubes tied and that since we don’t want kids I should also have my tubes tied. I told her that I was JUST discussing these things with my friends. I said I’m not interested in surgery but might get on a hormonal birth control pill that allows me to skip or stop periods since they seem to be getting worse in my 30s.
(Hormones can change dramatically in women in their 30s) my husband butts into the conversation to say I 100% do not need surgery or any hormonal treatment because ‘you are fine, only 4 days a month you suffer and you always get through it just fine, there’s nothing wrong with you, you talk to your friends and think you have the same medical issues and think you need to get the same procedures or pills to fix a problem you don’t have!’ (Paraphrased)
I tried to explain to him he doesn’t know what he was talking about, but he insists by saying I never talk about period issues and since I don’t talk to him about it I don’t have any issues/don’t need hormonal treatment. I got angry and told him again he doesn’t know what he was talking about and tried to educate him but he just cuts me off and claims I only THINK I have issues with my period because I’m being influenced by other women’s stories like I’m some kind of menstruation hypochondriac.
He said IF I had ANY issues that require hormonal treatment my gynecologist would have SEEN those issues in my uterus when she examined me/gave me a pap smear. I told him that is NOT how it works, you can’t SEE period symptoms inside a uterus, you moron.
He gets all smug ‘Oh then how are these medical issues diagnosed?! If it’s not a doctor’s examination of the organ?!’ He thinks that was a ‘gotcha’ question.
I told him women self-report symptoms and a doctor analyzes those symptoms and then suggests treatment. ‘Well, YOU’VE never had a doctor tell you to take hormones or birth control!’ Wrong again jerk, every time I go to the gynecologist I tell them I’m not on birth control they immediately suggest birth control options like pills or injections or rings, etc. because treatment can do more than stop you from getting pregnant it can also relieve menstruation discomforts like heavy flow, acne, and cramps.
He was wrong on every point he made but insisted his opinion was valid. He accused me of wanting to take the pill out of ‘spite’. I told him he was a stupid ignorant man whose opinion on my uterus was completely worthless.”
26. AITJ For Making Noise In My Own House?
“My BIL and SIL and their 4 kids are living with us while they buy a new house. (It’s taken a whole year for them to find one but that’s another story!) They stay in our basement which is like a little apartment with 2 bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom, and a kitchen.
Anyway, this morning their toddler must have woken up early this morning because I heard him fussing in the living room around 7 am. At 7:15 I went down to the kitchen to get coffee and my BIL and the toddler were sleeping in a chair. I thought ‘That’s dumb, he knows my kids will be up any minute’.
Luckily for him, my kids stayed up late last night and slept in this morning. It was after 8 when they woke up and we hung out upstairs until 8:45. At that time we came down to the kitchen to get breakfast. They were still sleeping. (The kitchen and living room are connected with no wall separating them.) My SIL immediately walks up and shushes me and the kids.
I told her they shouldn’t have the toddler sleeping in the living room if they’re worried about him waking up.
She got mad and said I ask her to be quiet to not wake my kids up and she’s just asking for the same courtesy. My kids sleep on a different floor and if she is in danger of waking them, it’s because she’s being very loud.
And I would not be asking her to quiet down at 9 am, it’s been at like 6:30 am when I’ve made that request. Plus it’s my house. I feel like I shouldn’t have to whisper in my own kitchen because her husband is choosing an inappropriate place to have their toddler sleep.
Plus I had 3 kids with me. The chances of them all staying quiet all the way through breakfast is infinitesimal.
One more thing. If this was a one-off I wouldn’t have fought it but he is literally napping with that kid in the living room once a week. It’s ridiculous.
Am I the jerk?”
25. AITJ For Clapping Back At My Significant Other's Sister's Comment About My Clothing Sizes?
“I (19f) have a really tough time buying clothes – especially for my top half. I’m not overweight or fat but because of my chest size, I have to get bigger T-shirts to fit comfortably.
My actual body is a size L, but a size L doesn’t even go over my chest. XL fits but is tight so my go-to size is XXL.
Yesterday I was hanging out at my significant other’s (19m) parent’s house and his sister (Jen – 17f) was there. We have an odd relationship – she’s very cold and snarky to me but also gives genuine compliments and seems to like me one minute then despises me the next.
Well, Jen asks if she can borrow one of my T-shirts and I agreed. I told her to get it out of my bag. She comes down holding the top out and laughing. She then says ‘XXL? I didn’t know you were so fat! Maybe calm down on the substances and smoke next time you get hungry.’ Now I’m lucky enough to not be super insecure about my body, but I was still very annoyed. You don’t say that sort of stuff to anyone so I turned and said ‘I can see why you’re confused given your situation.'(the ‘joke’ being that she doesn’t know or understand that people with bigger chests have to accommodate them by getting bigger sizes) She stopped laughing and stood silent for a couple of seconds before saying ‘did you really just say that to me?
You know it’s something I’m insecure about’ (I did not know that) and then ‘I was just joking.’ I responded ‘So was I.’
She stormed off. My SO was not happy with how I handled that situation but surprisingly, their parents agreed with me. They said it was a little immature, but fire fights fire.
Jen still wore my t-shirt out (which is almost ironic) but both she and my SO are annoyed with me. My SO says I shouldn’t have pointed out her insecurity, but how was I supposed to know and why is she in the clear but I am not? For all he knows, my weight is a deep issue for me.
AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Telling My Mom To Let My Brother Decide If He Wants A Haircut?
“I (17f) have been having discussions over the week with my mother (46f) about cutting my brother’s hair. My brother is 7 and has never had a haircut due to the fact that until the age of around 5, he was terrified of letting someone cut his hair.
Due to it growing for 7 years, it is almost at his waist and he loves it. It is his favorite quality about himself and as his big sister, I love his confidence and how he is so happy to stand out. He has never had any problems at school and it has made him very popular with both the girls and the boys in his class.
My mother used to love it up until a few months ago when she started insisting he needs a haircut before he goes into juniors at school. In the UK primary schools are split into two parts (infants and juniors). Infants are for children 4-7 and juniors for ages 7-11.
She is adamant that he needs to look smart and presentable for the next chapter in his life at school.
As his designated hair stylist I can tell you that it is not an issue to make him look smart and I have even taught him a few hairstyles to get his 2.5 ft of hair out of the way.
The reason I am arguing with my mum about it is that I think it should be his choice if he wants a haircut and as I previously mentioned he loves his hair a lot. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t love it too. It is long, wavy, golden, and without a split end in sight.
If I am being perfectly honest it makes me a bit upset that my 7-year-old brother has better hair than me.
My mum thinks that I am being a jerk and that it’s not my choice as I am not his mother, but I have spoken to my friends and they agree with me that it should be his choice.
So I am asking you guys, AITJ?
A little bit of extra info: My mother wants his hair cut short like your ‘stereotypical boy’. My brother loves his hair as it is but told me the shortest he would ever go was mid-way down his back.
He gets absolutely zero negative comments and remarks and many people compliment him on his appearance and confidence.
His school is also very supportive and has one of the best uniform policies I know of for letting kids express themselves. For example, at my primary school, hair was at most mid back and boys could not have long hair.
Our father is having no say as he said he does not want to get caught up in the argument.
For reference, his words were ‘I don’t mind if x keeps his hair long. I also don’t mind if it’s short.'”
23. AITJ For Not Giving My Parents Money To Buy A House?
“I have a twin (25f) who I will call Lauren. Since the day we were born, Lauren was always the golden child. Our parents always chose her over me and there was clear favoritism until we graduated from high school. Lauren chose not to go to college and she started a party lifestyle.
So because of that, I was my parents’ favorite. I hated it. Yes, I was the favorite one now, but I hated/hate the fact they have favorites. My parents are both doctors and they expect us to become one too because their parents are both doctors and so are a lot of other family members.
So when I chose to become a pilot, not a doctor they were upset and even said I have to become one because my sister will not become one and I’m all they got. I just wanted out of that toxic environment, so I rented an apartment and busted my butt off to become a pilot while working so I could live on my own.
Now 7 years later I’m a pilot and I live in a different town far away from my family. I’m engaged to the love of my life (26m) and I’m pregnant with our first. We got engaged when he proposed to me two months ago and I was beyond happy. I found out soon after that I was pregnant and we were/are so happy.
Important to the story my fiance is from an upper-class family, so he grew up rich and his family (including him) is wealthy.
When I announced that I’m pregnant on social media I don’t know how but my mom found my account and saw the picture of me and my fiance announcing we were pregnant.
Then she texted me (I still have my old number and she has it) asking for a meetup, I said yes because we haven’t talked or seen each other for 6-7 years. We met at a cafe, and after a while, it was clear she only wanted money from me.
She told me how my sister had fallen pregnant a year after I left and how my father had been diagnosed with cancer. She also told me how they needed to move to a bigger house because my sister had lost her job and house and she needed to move in with her child.
After telling me all that she simply asked if I could give them some funds to buy a house for them and help a bit with my father’s cancer treatment since she knows my fiance is rich. (I don’t know how she knows that) I said I will not be going to do that because I haven’t even talked to them for at least 6 years.
She began calling me names and then she left. After that, I got many texts and calls from other family members calling me a jerk for not giving them any amount even tho I could easily do that. I have not changed my mind. I just think they are being unreasonable and it’s my FIANCE’s money, so it’s not mine to give away.
So AITJ?
Edit: So after me and my sister (we are the only children they have) moved out of my parents’ house they moved to a smaller house. We do not live in the US so doctors don’t make that much money as in the US. Also as in the US and in here, health insurance doesn’t cover everything.
I don’t know what happened to their money and I don’t care, in my opinion, they deserved it.”
22. AITJ For Wanting To Meet My Ex's New Partner First Before Letting My Daughter Stay With Them?
“I (28f) have a daughter (10) ‘Emmi’. My ex ‘Frankie’ (30m) is not Emmi’s bio dad but basically helped raised her from age 7 months-8 years old before we split and began a nasty divorce in 2020.
At first, I tried to maintain a relationship between the two of them. I encouraged Emmi to message him, play games online, and sent him her school photo through her account, little things like that.
He would come to see her for her birthday (invited himself to her bday celebration), but outside of that, he hasn’t really had physical contact with her.
Frankie now has a new girl (22?) who he’s been with for about a year. They both want Emmi to come stay at their apartment but I haven’t met her yet.
I’ve found out twice that Frankie tried to have Emmi meet his partner behind my back, both times I inadvertently stopped it. I brought up my discomfort with my child staying in another state with people I’ve never met and he kept brushing me off saying he’d never let anything happen to Emmi.
I’ve stood by my firm ‘no’, much to his chagrin.
Here’s where I may be a jerk. Frankie wanted to see Emmi on Father’s Day. We had set up a time and it was all good. Out of curiosity, I asked why he didn’t want me to meet his partner.
He said it wasn’t that he didn’t want me to meet her, she was uncomfortable meeting his ex-wife, which was understandable. I told him I’m not meeting her as his ex but as Emmi’s mother. He said he wasn’t going to force his partner into a situation she was uncomfortable with and that he was going to respect that and basically deal with it.
I responded saying it’s ridiculous that he’d put the mild discomfort of a girl he’s known for a year over the safety of my daughter.
He knows I was mistreated in the past, which is why I’ve been asking to meet the girl and don’t want Emmi at their (or anyone I don’t know for that matter) house otherwise.
It devolved into an argument in which I brought up the overarching theme of Frankie disrespecting me and my boundaries for the entirety of our relationship and now after. Other stuff was said on social media, which got back to me like him saying that I was ‘annoying him and am making no sense’ for asking to meet the girl before allowing my child to stay at their apartment two states away.
I told him if he couldn’t respect what I felt was a simple wish for Emmi’s safety (and my peace of mind) he could respect the wishes of the family court and see Emmi through them. I blocked him on everything after that. Or so I thought. He messaged Emmi through a video game to tell her that I was ‘being mean’ and because of me he probably wouldn’t see her for a long time.
I promptly blocked him on her console as well after she showed me the message. He’s now messaging mutual friends trying to get them to convince me to talk to him because I know the courts won’t let him see Emmi (which is untrue, non-adoptive stepparents can receive visitation rights in our state) and that I shouldn’t keep Emmi from him because I’m ‘petty and in my feelings.’
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Telling My Ex To Reschedule His Planned Vacation With My Daughter?
“I (35F) have a daughter, Tiara (4), with my ex, Dre (26M). We broke up when she was 1 and he’s been with his partner Nyla (25F) since Tiara was 2.
Our breakup was fine until Nyla came into the picture, then Dre started going against me and trying to argue about every little thing. He wants Nyla to pick Tiara up from school instead of me during his custody time, he no longer wants to do joint birthday parties and no longer helps me financially other than what’s required or expenses that are as he says ‘directly going to Tiara’, I also can only call to speak to her during specific times of the day which is bizarre because we never operated like that.
Now he won’t even speak to me on the phone, everything is through an app (he requested this in court).
When Tiara is in their care she never wants to speak to me and is always sad to come to my home. They are alienating her from me and it’s not fair.
She’s always so happy to speak to them or go to their house. Most recently she had a breakdown on a video call begging not to talk to me. After that, I lost it. He planned a vacation that runs over into some of my custody days. I told him to reschedule, and he asked me why I was doing this but I refuse to continue to allow him to manipulate me and turn my child against me.
He said it’s non-refundable and I already agreed so it’s not fair but I said my daughter not wanting to be around me isn’t fair. He told me from now on to not ask him to be flexible with my schedule anymore and to only contact him for emergencies or to speak to my daughter.
My mom said I’m being dramatic and causing more drama but my friends think I’m right. So AITJ if I don’t let her go the day he scheduled for them to go? He says he’s going to have to go for a few days, come back for her, then go back so it’s not like she’ll miss out completely.
ETA: he filed a motion in court for my daughter to get a therapist because he claimed I’m being ’emotionally abusive’ towards her and that’s why she does not want to speak to me. They won’t do anything about the alienation because they said based on my actions I’M somehow alienating him.”
20. AITJ For Not Going To My Family's Father's Day Tradition?
“I (m28) am married with a daughter. I had a rocky upbringing. My dad died when I was 14 and I had to mature really quickly to take care of my two sisters. My mom always had a closer relationship with me naturally because we were basically raising my sisters together.
Naturally, it was tough for everyone when I left for college. I went far for college because I really was getting sick of basically raising two girls while balancing school. She always thought when I finish I’ll be back close to home.
That was until I fell in love and followed my college partner to her home state after I graduated. We got married a couple of years back and my daughter was born last September.
After my daughter was born I’ve only visited home like 2 or 3 times. I’m simply too busy with a daughter and a full-time job to consistently visit home.
Here’s where the conflict arises:
We have a yearly tradition every Father’s Day where we all visit my dad’s grave and get lunch after.
This year I’m not going to be going. My wife being the amazing wife she is planned a whole day. We are going to my favorite restaurant for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Then we’re doing some of my favorite activities. I will be honest I completely forgot to tell my mom that I’m not going.
So I might definitely be the jerk there.
My mom asked me when I’m arriving home. I told her I never planned on coming home for it and I never told her I was coming home. She started getting really confrontational over the phone about it. She went on this long rant about how ever since I ran off with this girl I’ve completely abandoned her and my sisters.
She made a couple of rude comments and I lost it. I told her that ‘girl’ is my wife and I have my own life. We argued and it ended when I told her that things ‘will never go back to how they were and I have my own life so either accept that or shut up’.
Immediately after I said that she stopped responding. My sisters bombarded me with texts about how I’m acting selfish and abandoning my real family.”
19. AITJ For Resigning Before It Gets Convenient For Them To Fire Me?
“I am the founder and developer of a 5-year-old non-profit organization that has raised almost $250k to help our community. I’m now stuck trying to decide, would I be the jerk if I resign? Do I continue working and reapply for MY job which it’s been implied I won’t get?
I’m seriously torn. I know if I resign, my team resigns, please help! Here’s my dilemma:
In the last year, the Board of Directors for said organization has had new members join & elected a new president ‘Tiffany’. She does not follow the bylaws, policies, or procedures that are in place, began treating staff & volunteers with rude, demanding, toxic behaviors & said as Board president she’s the boss, what she says goes… PERIOD.
I met with ‘Tiffany’ on several occasions asking her to follow the policies & procedures, and speak kindly & respectfully, & was met with responses such as ‘If you don’t like it, go get counseling’ & ‘Don’t speak to me like I’m a child’. I then requested help from the personnel committee, Board VP, & the entire Board of Directors to resolve these issues.
Months passed with no change & no response.
The final step was a carefully drafted proposal to the board, in which I & our team respectfully requested reallocation of hours, and consideration for the raises we’d been asking for the past 6 months (none have ever been given) & that ‘Tiffany’ no longer be President as her term in office would be up at the end of the month.
The Board’s response was, we’ll get back to you.
It took 30 days, but we finally got our response. All requests were denied. No reallocating hours, no raises, & ‘Tiffany’ would be reelected as President of the Board for another year. The Board also decided that they were going to post for the executive position & that anyone, myself included was welcome to apply for the position.
They wanted to be clear that I was not being fired because it could take 6 months or more to write up the new job description, get it posted, & hire someone. The new hire would then hire their own staff, but again no one was being fired as the Board has not put together what they need to post for this position yet.
I am devastated. We as a team are heartbroken. We all love what we do & how we’ve been able to help our community by working together. Unfortunately, under ‘Tiffany’ this newer Board is not collaborating with us, we feel devalued, unappreciated, and most certainly fired.
I am preparing my resignation, giving a 2-week notice to be turned in late next week.
The only other option I feel I have is to stay & be used by them until they can comfortably allow someone else to fire me. By doing this, I know the rest of my team will follow suit. Does this make me the jerk?”
18. AITJ For Calling My Mother-In-Law A Jerk Because Of Her Reaction To Our Announcement About Adopting?
“I (F24) am married to the love of my life (M26). We have been together for 10 years. We are very much in love and have been thinking about having a child for about a year. But there’s an issue. I am infertile. Due to issues with anorexia from when I was younger, it affected my body.
I won’t go too much into detail about that since that chapter of my life is over but it still does affect me.
Now my MIL does know I’m infertile and also tries to say something about it to me whenever she can. For example, my husband’s sister recently found out she was pregnant and my MIL said, ‘Gee I sure do wish that you have a few to fill in for this one’.
So yes she’s tried to shove it in my face before that I can’t have kids.
Now me and my husband are thinking of adopting. We thought of adopting because we want to give a child a good life. So now here’s the current thing. We went to a dinner recently at my MIL’s house.
There we decided to tell them that we’ve been thinking about adoption. Everybody was very happy for us, especially his sister. But his mom got very upset and said in a really serious tone, ‘(insert my name) come talk to me now.’ I looked at my husband and decided that I had enough of her crap and went.
She pulled me into the kitchen and said, ‘Listen I already don’t like you and want my son to live a happy life with his OWN kid but you just have the brightest ideas don’t you.’ I said to her, ‘This will be his own kid and we will raise them as our own no matter their background’.
She got very mad at this and said, ‘I don’t want some little charity child to be running around here and have to call them my grandchild since they aren’t.’
I snapped, ‘You really are the biggest jerk, do you know that? I’ve tried to be nice to you but no you truly are a jerk,’ and I walked away.
She came out crying saying I was calling her a jerk for no reason. My husband looked at me and looked back at his mother and went to go comfort her. I was very upset at this and grabbed my things said thanks for the meal and left. My husband after an hour came home and we got into an argument.
He was saying things like how could I make his mother cry and that I was such a horrible person for doing that. He then left for our guest room and announced he’d be sleeping there till I apologize. I get multiple texts the next day from all of his family calling me a jerk for yelling at my MIL and they said that they wished my husband found a better woman to marry.
I feel like I made the worst mistake in my life. I love his family and him. I’ve accepted them as my family. Am I the jerk?”
17. AITJ For Banning My Sisters From My Room?
“I’m the oldest of 5. I’m 18 and my two sisters are 14 and 7.
I just recently started a new job, and finally have a bit of spending money for myself. I deal with low b***d sugar on occasion, or I get very hungry/thirsty at night. So about a month ago I bought a little cart to keep in the corner of my room and filled it with snacks, some drinks, and other basic essentials (lotion, extra chapstick because I’m always losing mine, etc.)
My siblings are freaking vultures when it comes to food, any time there’s some sort of snack they like, they will eat it back to back until it’s gone. Then blame each other when there is no more, hence another reason why my snack cart is in my room.
I had just restocked the cart and was noticing things disappear from it that I knew I wasn’t eating since it normally takes a while for me to make a dent in my stash.
I confronted my siblings, my two brothers admitted and apologized while my sisters claimed innocence. I let it go but snacks were still coming up missing.
I snooped in my sisters’ room and found wrappers/bottles under their beds. I was irritated and wanted to catch them in the act, so the next day I pretended to leave for work, snuck around through the back door, and waited in my closet to catch them.
It took a while and I almost gave up, when I heard my door open and heard the older sister directing the younger sister on what snacks to take. I came out of my closet having caught them in the act, and frankly, I was mad.
I yelled a bit and kicked them out.
They tried to come back into the room to reason with me, and wouldn’t leave so I used one of my giant stuffed animals to block them back outside the door. My baby sister got really upset and cried, while the older sister said I was being a jerk over it.
My mom ended up being angry at me about it, saying I needed to bring my snacks downstairs because ‘anything food-wise you bring into this house needs to be shared’ which I find hypocritical given she keeps her favorite snacks in her room where my siblings can’t find it.
I feel bad for getting angry over something so trivial and childish, I’m the oldest and should be setting examples, yet here I am mad over snacks.
AITJ for yelling and kicking them out? WIBTJ if I barred them from my room and locked the door when I leave the house?”
16. AITJ For Refusing To Lower My Fee For Performing At A Kid's Birthday Party?
“I (24F) am a professional Mermaid.
It’s an unusual job I know but I love it. I work at an Aquarium putting on shows with the other Mer and also do private events to make some extra bucks. My friend’s niece has a birthday coming up. She’s turning 7 and my friend thought I’d be the ideal entertainment for the party as kids love Mermaids also her niece hasn’t met me so it won’t break the immersion of her recognizing me.
She recommended me to her brother and sister-in-law and I met up with the three of them to go over what they wanted for the performance, how long it would last, and my rates. I told them I would be willing to perform for two hours for £100 which shocked them as that would be £50 an hour, my friend asked me if I could cut a deal and I explained I already did.
They were matching the salary of the Aquarium with this and explained I actually charge £150 an hour for private events.
They tried to negotiate me down offering to pay £50 for the two hours stating I’d have as much food and drink as I wanted at the party, now after a performance I’m usually ravenous as I don’t eat much before it for obvious reasons but food on top of £50 isn’t enough in my opinion, not when I have to travel to get there and could have used this time to do an event at my normal rates.
I told them that wouldn’t work for me and they have told me they’d need to think about it clearly not keen on the idea. My friend is unhappy with me and asked if I could just take the £50 for her sake as her niece would love it and said that as we’re friends this should come before money.
I honestly feel bad about this, I thought it was a good deal and I hate upsetting my friend but £50 for a two-hour performance is ridiculous. Should I just take it and mark this down as a loss for the sake of my friendship?”
15. AITJ For Telling On My Stepfather To My Grandpa?
“I (16F) live with my mom (40F) and stepfather (52M). I don’t know who my dad is. I have 1 step-brother and 2 half-sisters.
My step-father is overly strict with me, mainly because I’m not his daughter, but also because I don’t let him give me crap, he’s an ex-military and has this stupid mindset that discipline is everything and we must listen to him at all times, we have to call him sir.
I try not to be here as much as I can, I have a job and an extracurricular and I help my grandparents (my mom’s parents) at their house with their housework and their pets, my grandparents are really sweet to me, I love them very much and my grandad defends me from my stepfather when he crosses the line (for your information, no, I can’t move in with them.).
I have a significant other (17M) named Mike. We’ve been together for 8 months now and I introduced him to my grandparents first, he’s a good guy, kind, smart and funny. I decided to introduce him to my mom 3 months ago at dinner. My stepfather behaved horribly. He kept asking Mike a bunch of questions and then tried to pick a fight.
My SO is bigger than my stepfather but he decided to leave before things went bad. Ever since then, he has forbidden me from bringing him home because he didn’t like him, giving excuses like ‘he knows guys like him’, ‘he was rude’, etc. I did respect his rule until this last instance which caused this whole problem.
Mike discussed this with his father yesterday and he came to my home asking for comfort. My mom was here, and since she saw how distraught he was she allowed him to come to my room and talk. I left my door open. In between this, Mike cried and hugged me, resting his head on my chest and that’s how my stepfather found us.
There was a lot of yelling. I left with Mike for 15 minutes and when I came back, my door was gone.
My stepfather said that that’s what I deserved for disrespecting his rule. My mom did tell him that she gave Mike a pass, but my stepfather was having none of it.
He berated me for a few minutes until he called me a jerk. When he let me go to my room, I called my grandad and he came here as soon as possible. Long story short, he took my parents’ door and installed it in my room, then he took me out to eat so we could talk better.
When I came back again, my stepfather said that I and my grandad humiliated him in front of his children. My step-brother called me a jerk and while my mother apologized to me for what my step-father did, she said I was wrong because family problems must stay here.”
14. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Invalidating My Grief Over The Loss Of My Best Friend?
“My partner Kyle and I have been together for almost four years now. We have our normal couple fights here and there. But it’s never turned into anything but petty fights. And he has always been a great guy.
However, I lost my best friend Sam in a car accident 2 months ago and I have been a mess.
I’ve known her since we were 12, she was basically my sister. After her passing my mental health has been declining. I haven’t been doing chores or cooking as much anymore. But sometimes I still get upset thinking about Sam and I just start crying. And I’ve just been really withdrawn from a lot of people including Kyle.
Now about a week ago Kyle came to me and told me he wanted to talk. He told me that he understood that I was sad about Sam and that it was natural. However, he said that I wasn’t doing my part in our relationship and that I wasn’t doing anything around the house or showing him love and affection like I used to.
His last words hurt me he said, ‘You just need to******* up and accept the fact that she’s gone it’s been two months now.’
At this point, I am sobbing and just horrified at what he said. In anger, I said, ‘She was like my sister, you jerk! And I’ve been trying to get better but you don’t just magically feel great after 2 months of losing your sister.’ He then said, ‘That doesn’t give you an excuse to turn into a slob and shut everyone out.’ I couldn’t even stand the sight of him I was so overwhelmed with feelings that I packed my bags and left.
I have been staying over at my mom’s house and I haven’t talked to Kyle ever since. He has been calling and texting me but not once has he apologized. A few of our friends said that I shouldn’t have left and I should at least talk to him. But I can’t he has never said anything like that to me.
I am just so disgusted at what he said and that he never said sorry. I know that I am going to have to go back at some point. My mom said that I can stay as long as I want but I should try and talk about it with him.
I just don’t know what to do. But now I feel like a terrible person and an even worse partner. So am I the jerk?”
13. AITJ For Kicking My Wife And Daughter Out After I Found Out I'm Not The Father?
“I (39M) had a daughter with my wife (42F) when I turned 20.
My now 19-year-old daughter has grown up to be a bit of an attention seeker, and has often spread lies about others to try and stir drama with herself at the center, playing the victim. Now, I honestly don’t try anymore after I told her multiple times to stop, and just tell her that she’s digging her own grave.
The main problem happened 6 days ago when my daughter came up to me asking for $200 to go to the mall with her friends. I refused and she started pleading with me. I had already given her money during the month so I told her no repeatedly. She slowly got more and more frustrated until she eventually screamed at me, asking what the point of having a rich guy marry her mom was if he wouldn’t give her daughter money.
I immediately retorted telling her that I was her father and that I wasn’t some ATM she could just use anytime. We started yelling until she blurted out that I was nothing more than an ATM to her because I wasn’t even her biological father. I was really appalled and asked her where she got that idea from.
She realized what she said as she furiously tried to cover it up until I told her I would kick her out if she wouldn’t tell me the reason she said that. She told me that my wife sat her down after she turned 18, and told her that since she was an adult, she needed to know the truth, that my wife had an affair with 3 different people during the conceiving period of her birth, and there was a strong chance I wasn’t her father since I always used protection.
She told my daughter to never tell me, since I had been funding their lifestyles and it was better if I didn’t know and kept giving them money.
I was shocked and heartbroken. When my wife came home I confronted her and yelled at her after she confirmed everything.
I told her to get out of my home immediately, and she started bawling, saying that I was cruel and that I needed to support her and her daughter since I had been doing so all this time. I kicked both of them out, but I let my daughter get $200 because I knew she wouldn’t have a job or savings, and she was less to blame than my wife.
I am currently talking with my lawyer about pressing legal action against her and trying to get a divorce, however, she is being uncooperative. We ran a DNA test on my daughter and it turned out that I wasn’t her father. However, now my in-laws are telling me to take my soon-to-be ex back since she was young and made mistakes.
My own family is telling me to take my (step?)daughter back since she was raised like my own, but she kept a secret like this from me and tried to use me like her mother, so I said no. They are all blowing me up right now trying to get me to change my mind, so AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Refusing To Take Down A Family Photo At Home?
“I got married in early 2020 and at the time my niece (then 22 now 24) was a bottle girl and went through a phase where it was her entire personality. As in, she couldn’t switch off the customer voice, said inappropriate things at inappropriate times to inappropriate people, wore outfits not suited to the event (a baptism, 2 weddings, and a funeral), and only talked about work.
It was annoying but for the most part, the family didn’t comment hoping she’d grow out of it.
One of the weddings she went to was mine. Family had talked to her about dressing appropriately for events, I reminded her about our family tradition. At all weddings, an extended family photo is taken and displayed in the home, and another will be in the family wedding photo album (just a cool way to look back and see how kids have grown and family expanded, and remember those who are no longer with us).
My niece chose to wear a club dress with cutouts, something that was trending. My sister was deeply apologetic, I was unsurprised, & my SO has a ‘let them embarrass themselves’ mentality and just shrugged. The day went on.
True to word, there was a big family photo and we have it displayed on our mantle (next to a much larger wedding photo of just my SO and me, pretty much the only photo that gets commented on).
My niece came by recently and got really upset with us. She started crying about us only displaying that photo to humiliate her and she can’t believe that we’d still rub her face in her past mistakes, even grandma (the current owner of the family wedding album) won’t find another photo or let her forget it.
I tried to comfort her, saying we all wore a terrible wedding outfit at least once, the book is full of fashion disaster trends, but no one cares about what the guests wear (sorry but kinda true) and that’s not the point of it all. Eventually, it’ll just be another page in the book.
She wasn’t happy with our photo so we said we’d move it somewhere private but she wants it gone.
My SO got impatient: ‘Look, the family talked to you about this, you KNEW about the tradition, and you still chose that outfit. There’s no do-over wedding photo, and there’s no family photo without you in it, so deal.’
I tried to soothe things a bit by reminding my niece 3 people in that photo passed away later, it’s the last family photo we have of them. So much has happened since her outfit isn’t something we talk about. It’s been there nearly 2 years, and she never took notice.
She seemed better, but I later got a call from my sister asking me to please ‘get rid’ of it. The photo is an embarrassment if only for how it reflects on her as a mother. That made no sense to me, I repeated that no one cares, but my sister said the fact that my niece and she do should be enough to remove it.
My sister and I are now at a standstill and my SO says being embarrassed by your clothes is part of growing up.
But it’s been two messy years. If she’s so upset maybe it’s worth hiding it until more time has passed?”
11. AITJ For Not Letting Someone Cut In Front Of Us In Line?
“I (20F) recently went to Olive Garden with my mom (40sF) and her partner (40sM). When we parked, I could see people waiting, so I got out first to go put our names in while my mom and her partner got their things together to get out.
As I’m approaching the entrance, an older lady rushes to the door to get there before me and then goes ahead to put her name in.
I think, fair enough. She got there before me, and in the end, I’m not in a rush. So after her, I put my name in and get told it’ll be a 30-minute wait.
I agree to the wait and go over to sit with Mom and her partner. A little while later, we get a text saying our table is ready.
Like the civil person I am, I get into the line with the text message pulled up on my phone, and wait my turn to get up to my table.
Suddenly, none other than that same old lady comes over to stand at my side, completely surpassing the line.
I can see where this is going, but I give her a chance to prove me wrong. Surprise, surprise, she doesn’t. As I go to speak to the nice hostess, the lady suddenly steps up as if to cut me.
Without a second thought, I put my hand up to stop her and continue to talk to the hostess and explain that our table is ready and give her my name.
The entire time, I can practically feel the older lady’s huffing and puffing against the back of my hand.
I then turn to follow the hostess as she grabs our menus and utensils. As I do, the lady makes the effort of going around me to get in front of me and stand beside the hostess, as if to take our table.
Now, this is where I got angry, but I kept my manners.
I said ‘Ma’am, excuse me, but you need to get in line. We are waiting for our table.’ She then goes ‘Well we are being seated.’ And I go ‘So are we, ma’am.’ That’s when her son piped up and goes ‘Mom. Mom, there is a line.’
And then she goes huffing and puffing to the back of the line, and my mom, mom’s partner, and I follow the hostess to our table. The entire time, my hands are shaking, as I don’t enjoy confrontation. But I would’ve been screwed if she got our table.
As soon as we sit down, my mom scolds me for trying to start a fight. I told her I didn’t mean to be disrespectful or start a fight, but she had to learn to wait like everyone else.
So, AITJ for not letting an older woman cut in front of us in line?”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Take My Homeless Sister And Her Children In?
“So I (f32) and my sister (f28) share the same father but not mother, practically making us half-sisters.
I never really knew her existence until I was 25 and until my father confessed to keeping my half-sister a secret.
I was honestly really ecstatic since I have been an only child who always wanted a sibling. I found out that I had nieces and a nephew, I always had difficulty conceiving and my relationships never last long so I was super excited thinking about meeting them.
But when I reached out to my half-sister and her kids I was ignored and left on read for a couple of months till I asked my dad about it
She told me that she doesn’t want us to be part of her kid’s life, doesn’t acknowledge me as a sister, and also told me that I should give up trying to contact her or her family since her family has the same opinion towards us.
I was shocked at her hostile reply but I understood her deep down and respected her wishes, none of us ever contacted each other excluding her and our dad’s few interactions but both of us minded each other’s business.
Recently she reached out to me saying that she ‘wanted to put our past behind us’ and to catch up, it was surprising due to the sudden attitude change but I was really relieved. But she quickly went straight to the point and asked me for money, she broke up with her partner, she went into debt and her kids really needed the money.
I pitied her situation and blindly hoped that both of us can fix our relationships and sent her the funds she needed. She then cut all contact with me again and never talked to me.
Till she basically showed up at my house with luggage and demanded that I take her and her kids in.
She told me that because I had a high-paying job, was single, and live alone, I wouldn’t mind letting her and her kids stay since she became homeless and doesn’t have anyone else to go to.
I was still bitter and angry about her ignoring me after getting the money, so I snapped and told her that she shouldn’t kiss my butt when she needed my help and abandon me right after.
I was done with her and her kids and kicked her off of my property, she then spread rumors about me to my family and friends.
About her getting my address, she contacted our dad since she couldn’t contact me and asked about my address. She told our dad that we reconciled and she was ‘planning to surprise me by showing up to my house’.
Our dad told me that I ruined the perfect chance to resolve our differences and that I was being petty and childish. My mom told me that I shouldn’t have kicked her and her kids out of the house just after arriving and that I should have thought about her situation.
Due to that, I felt really bad. Am I really the jerk here?”
9. AITJ For Going On A Night Out One Week After My Dad's Funeral?
“My (F26) dad died of aneurysm two weeks ago. It wasn’t expected. He was a healthy, fit man with no health problems prior to his death. I was close with him, I learned from him a lot, I chose my career path because he ‘infected’ me with his love for plants and nature.
He was not only my dad but also one of my best friends. His death shocked me.
One week after his funeral my friend asked me if I would want to go to a club in our town. She thought it will help me not to think about Dad for a few hours.
I wasn’t sure, to be honest. However, he would want me to live my life despite his death. He wasn’t a big fan of mourning, he was always saying that dead people should be left alone and living should carry on. So, I went out with my friend and actually had a good time.
Then, one of our acquaintances tagged me on a post on her social media. I am laughing in the photo, in my nice clothes, and with a drink in my hand. I don’t even remember when exactly the photo was taken. The photo isn’t vulgar in any way but it’s obvious I’m in a good mood in there.
Unfortunately, my family was able to see it.
Now, most of my family members, especially the older ones say I’m heartless, I don’t care about my dad, and was disrespectful toward him. They say I should mourn him and not go to parties and drink. I obviously didn’t want to dishonor my dad’s memory, I just wanted to have a good time for a while.
Did I do something wrong? If I crossed the line, I’m ready to apologize to my family and then to my dad (though I don’t believe in the afterlife so I doubt he’ll hear me?). AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting To Live In A Multigenerational House?
“I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years now. We have three kids. When we got married, I moved in with him. The story I was told about the house we live in is that he bought the house with his grandparents and that once they passed, it would just be our house.
When I moved in, his parents, his 19-year-old cousin Bea, his grandmother, and occasionally his aunt still lived there. I was told that the aunt just visited but lived in another state and that Bea was only living there until she finished college as a favor to her and the family.
4 years later, they are all still living here full time as the aunt gave up her other house in 2020. Bea is now married with a child. While there are technically enough bedrooms for everyone with enough sharing, this house is way too crowded.
It wasn’t until late last year after I’d had my 3rd child and expressed interest in having Bea’s family and her mother at least work on moving out that I learned that that story was false.
My husband and his parents don’t co-own the house. The money that paid for the house is 40% from my husband, 20% from his parents, and 40% from their grandparents that were gifted early. Part of the grandparents’ stipulation for going in on this house was that Bea was to be put on the paperwork as well.
Legally, Bea owns 33% of the house and is the 3rd name on the title.
I was shocked by this. Bea will never want to move out and won’t let us kick out her mother, and his parents have the right to live here for life, so this is just settled as a multigenerational house and always will be.
Of course, my husband says he never told me any other story. I can’t prove it, but it doesn’t matter now.
I HATE living like this. I never wanted a multigenerational house. Everyone else is totally fine and happy with this, and from the outside, it looks like a great situation, but this is never what I wanted. It feels like a commune.
There’s very little privacy and someone is around every corner.
I’ve started opening up to my friends who express jealousy because I have ‘live-in socialization, safe grandparent help, and a ‘full tribe’.’ I was tired of it, so I told them the truth. It got around, and now I’m public enemy #1 in my house and even accused of wanting a divorce if I ‘hate my family so much’.
AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Admitting My Sick Mother To A Hospice?
“I (30M) lost my wife 5 years ago. She had a son (10M) who I got custody of after she passed (bio father signed off parental rights at birth and never even met the kid) and we had a daughter (6F) together.
My 10-year-old son (I consider him my son) has Down Syndrome.
My dying mother asked to come to live with me two weeks ago to spend more time with us because she is dying and has only months left to live. I told her she can come to spend a week here first (she is here now) and we’ll see how it works for everyone, most of all the kids.
She came and said things were going okay. Then a few days ago she special ordered a new set of toys for my 6-year-old (a REALLY expensive one) which I let fly, even though I don’t normally just let my kids choose hundreds of dollars worth of toys, but I get that she was trying to do something nice for her grandkids.
Then today the set arrived just before dinner and at dinner I asked my son what toys he chose. He said he didn’t choose any toys. I asked my mom what he chose (my son sometimes mixes things up and I thought he just forgot) and she said that she only bought the toys for ‘her grandbaby’.
I said that she has two grandkids because I have two children. Then she said, ‘He’s not your son’. I told the kids to go play in the living room and told my mother that this kind of talking is unacceptable in my house.
She then said, ‘It’s true, you have no obligation here, you should go foster care or stick it in a facility before your life is ruined’.
I flipped out, called her all sorts of names, and told her I’ll be calling hospice first thing in the morning and have them take her the same day (which I did).
She cried all night and begged me to not make her go die alone in a hospice, but I said she crossed a line and I’m done.
My aunts called me a jerk, some of my friends said I should just let it go because her time is limited, and my sister (who lives abroad) said it was just plain cruel. My cousin said what she said was awful and I did the right thing. I feel a little bit guilty over it anyway.
AITJ?
ETA: I will still visit my mother in hospice if she wants me to.”
6. AITJ For Firing My Nephew After Accusing My Other Employee Of Stealing?
“I run a small business and for over a year and a half, I’ve been employing ‘Brian’. He’s a decent worker. Comes in every day for 1 or 2 hrs to sweep, mop, clean the windows, keep the front tidy, and take out the trash.
2 months ago my sister asked me if I could offer my nephew ‘Henry’ (19m) a job because they are going through some financial troubles and need his help.
Gave him a full-time job where he’s basically like my receptionist. Answering the phone, helping me organize papers and such. The reason Henry knows about Brian is because I talked about him to my family once. Brian used to sleep right outside by the entrance every night or sometimes I’d find him digging in our dumpster around the back.
So I decided to offer him some work and he accepted.
Since Henry started he’s had some attitude with Brian when he comes in. Twice I came back after meeting clients, Henry was making Brian unload supplies that were dropped off. Saying that I told him to have Brian do that.
They were arguing because Brian said he couldn’t do it. I was already told by him when he first started coming in that he can’t do heavy lifting because of back problems he suffers from so I got mad at my nephew over that.
I tried to chalk that up to my nephew not really knowing much since he’s new.
Last week Henry told me he saw Brian going to the back office and going through everyone’s things. Then supposedly he also went into my office. I didn’t believe him because only a few people have keys to my office, my nephew being one of them because sometimes he needs to leave papers on my desk when I’m not there.
Brian doesn’t have keys for any of that because he only needs to get the cleaning supplies from the closet.
Henry said he left his keys out front when Brian was there when he went to answer the phone and now he can’t find them. He kept saying I should fire him.
One look at the security cams proved he lied about the whole thing. The fact that he lied about it and also kept suggesting Brian be fired for something Henry knew he didn’t do upset me very much. Wasn’t thinking at the moment because I was a little overwhelmed with anger and fired him there.
You can guess how my family took that. Firing my own nephew. When according to them he didn’t do anything wrong. He suspected the man and thought he was going the right thing coming to me. My sister said Henry just misplaced his keys and ‘rightfully’ assumed Brian stole them and says he’s never felt comfortable anytime he came to clean.
Even though Henry won’t give me actual reasons why he was uncomfortable around Brian other than believing he would steal something. Brian has never done anything like that before. Everyone thinks I’m a jerk for firing/refusing to rehire him over this because of what their family’s going through and It’s getting to me.
To clear the air for me, AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Taking My Husband's Daughter's Side Over His?
“I married my husband 3 years ago.
He was divorced, and previously widowed. He has two daughters. Annie who is now 26 (I believe) from his first marriage and Amy who is 17 from his second. My husband told me about his late wife, his ex-wife, the issues he had as a blended family when he remarried and Annie was not on board with him remarrying, and the fact this strain ended his second marriage.
He was also honest that Annie never forgave him for remarrying and never wanted anything to do with Amy or him after she turned 18.
What he did not tell me was the MAJOR role he played in all of this. I found this out three weeks ago, at a dinner with his extended family.
The story as I now know it. When Amy was around 5 years old she took a special interest in a necklace that belonged to his late wife. My husband gave the necklace to Amy, which upset Annie because all her mother’s possessions were meant to go to her. My husband told Annie that it was just one item and she needed to get over it because Amy was entitled to have something too.
Annie had brought up that it was the piece her mother wore the most. My husband told her that it was a special gift to give to her sister. That she was being selfish. His ex-wife told her that her mother would want ‘someone as special as your sister’ to have a piece of her as well.
Annie never got over it. She tried to take it from Amy and was punished. The last time she saw any of them she told them all to get lost.
Amy still has the necklace too. She has let it get into a bad way, and talks about it as if her dad bought it for her.
I was shocked. I never would have expected my husband to be that way. He was very unapologetic about it and told me Annie would have to get over it someday. I told him he should be ashamed of himself. That he should have allowed Annie’s mother’s possessions to be hers, to do with as SHE chose, that Amy did not give a crap about his late wife or the significance of those items, but Annie would have.
I told him he will be incredibly lucky if his daughter ever speaks to him again and I would not blame her if she never did.
He was furious I judged him. His family said I should take my husband’s side over his daughter who I don’t even know (except for the nephew and niece who told the whole story, because they also think my husband did a messed up thing).
AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Being Angry At My Roommates For Being Noisy Past Bedtime?
“I (nb 29) sublet a room to Daisy (f 27).
Daisy’s partner Tom (m 36) regularly stays over. The house is pretty old and you can hear a lot of what’s going on in the other rooms. I always go to bed at 10 pm, but Daisy prefers to stay up until midnight or 1 am.
We have agreed that until 11 pm, Daisy can be loud, but afterward, sleep is a priority. So no music, no loud talking, etc.
Last week, Tom was staying over. I had to work a long shift the next day, so I went to bed at 9 pm. Because of our agreement, I tolerated them being loud until 11 pm.
But when Tom started to loudly talk on the phone (speakers on) and walk up and down the house at 11:45, my patience was tested for the first time. I kindly asked him to use headphones and to either have his phone talk outside or in the kitchen.
About an hour later, they started to play a video game with speakers on.
For a second time, I had to get up and ask them to use headphones. My final moment of annoyance was when around 2:30 am, they were playing some sort of game where Tom was pushing Daisy around on the office chair, and she smashed into my sleeping room door. Tom opened my door, turned on my lights, and shouted ‘Ooooooh, the choo-choo train crashed into your room, hahahaah!’ I just slammed the door in front of his face.
After this incident, they realized that it was too much and went to sleep.
The next day, when I came home, Tom was still there. I was extremely tired and annoyed, I had to work 10 hours on only 4 hours of sleep. He approached me and began with ‘About last night-‘ There I cut him off.
‘You listen to me. We have an agreement that after 11 pm, it has to be quiet. You know that. Either you stop being so annoying and loud at night, or you won’t be staying over anymore. The same goes for Daisy.’ Then I left for my room. I know that I was loud and angry, but I’m sure I didn’t yell.
According to Daisy, Tom cried the whole evening because he felt so attacked and frightened by my reaction. She calls me a jerk for my reaction because I knew that Tom is highly sensitive and highly empathetic and he can’t stand people talking to him ‘without respect’. I don’t see why I should apologize.
IF he’s that sensitive, he should have empathy with me being annoyed at their childish behavior. I think it is common sense as an adult to not be loud when somebody else is trying to sleep. At least after I asked him to not have his loud phone call, he should have known that it was time to be quiet.”
3. AITJ For Feeding My Friend's Daughter Ice Cream?
“I am not a very busy person. I don’t start college until September and I don’t have a job, so not much to do.
A few weeks ago my friend Alice (22F) came to my door with her daughter Milly (3F) and told me she really needs me.
Apparently, she had an emergency to attend to and she needed an urgent sitter. She didn’t really ask and just gave me the kid and a bag of toys and books and told me she would be back in a few hours. I have no problem with this, Milly is a very sweet kid and she knows me well enough to be comfortable around me.
Still, it was a bit unexpected but I was going out to the cinema so I thought I would take her with me and we would walk around a bit and watch something.
Everything went smoothly, we watched a movie together, Milly seemed happy, and I was enjoying my time as well.
Then we went to the park and I thought it would be nice to get us some ice cream. We both had vanilla swirls and she seemed to enjoy it for a bit but as soon as we got home she started throwing up and developed what seemed to be a rash.
I thought maybe she got a bug or something and called her mom but when she didn’t pick up I took her to the hospital.
Apparently, Milly has a mild allergy to dairy. Alice did not tell me this. I have never seen Alice give her dairy but I thought that was a dietary choice and to be honest, I did not take that much notice of it.
I never knew this explicitly. She was safe and nothing bad was going to happen to her but she was obviously very uncomfortable until the antihistamines kicked in. I kept calling Alice and she only picked up a few hours later and as soon as I told her we were at the hospital, she got furious.
When she came in she yelled at me telling me I was trying to kill her baby because I had to take care of her on such short notice and I was an idiot for not knowing her child would react like this to ice cream.
I apologized many times and sent them cards and a present for Milly but apparently, she has been telling our group of friends that I tried to hurt Milly and that I should not be trusted around children.
Some of our friends berated me for my lack of attention and told me I would have to carry the responsibility if anything worse had happened to Milly. I tried to explain I didn’t know and nothing worse was going to happen and I did my best to help her but it still became a divisive event.
AITJ? Is it really all my fault? I really want what’s best for Milly and I would never do anything to hurt her.”
2. AITJ For Agreeing To Have My Sons Over The Summer While My Ex Undergoes Chemo?
“I (31M) and my wife (27F) are going to have our first kid, a baby girl, together in early June. We are both very excited about it.
She doesn’t have any other kids, but I do. I have an 8-year-old and a 6-year-old from my first marriage. My ex and I share custody and co-parent together really well. My ex and my wife get along well, which I thank my lucky stars for. My wife and I were talking about only having the boys here for the weekends in June until the baby is settled in (my wife wanted this).
My ex has cancer and has just started chemo.
The issue now occurred when my ex came to pick up the boys on Thursday and asked if the boys can stay with me over the summer during the week and she can take weekends (currently we alternate weeks) because she will have to start a more aggressive course of chemo and 1) doesn’t want the kids to have to see her like that and 2) isn’t sure how much she’ll even be capable of taking care of them.
I told her I want to help her, and taking the boys is the least we can do. My wife was there and said she doesn’t love the idea, but my ex literally begged and my wife rolled her eyes and said ‘Fine, but if they don’t behave, we’ll give them back’.
I told my ex not to worry and that I’ll (we’ll) take great care of the boys.
After they left, my wife called me a jerk, saying that my ex and I cornered her, that I am making her so very stressed, and that she doesn’t need two savages in her home right before she gives birth and right after, and how I know she wants a home birth (which can still happen, because the boys can go to either their mom or either of their grandparents).
AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Wanting To Stay With My Mom Until I Finish My Treatment?
“I (F31) started having a health decline at the end of the past year. I recently got diagnosed with a medical condition that requires delicate care and treatment. The issue is, as a stay-at-home wife, I spend most of my day at home by myself while my husband works long hours.
In order for me to get treatment I need someone to stay with me. Not just that but I handle most household chores and won’t be able to continue to do that, in fact, I will need someone to take care of me.
My husband and I talked about this.
I gave him a number of suggestions that I’ll mention down below.
- asking my mom to move in with us to help, but he refused.
- getting a nurse/maid to help me out/take care of the house, but he refused.
- having him take time off work to stay home with me, but he complained about having to focus on work.
- finally, getting someone from his family or my friends to stay with us but he refused and said it’d make him look like he was ‘useless’.
We had an argument after he declined all previous options and insisted that I ‘just try and do my best and will manage just fine’ meaning he expected me to go through treatment while still cleaning/cooking and also with no help whatsoever.
He swore that if I go ahead with any of those options then he won’t speak to me for a whole year. I’ve decided to just go stay with my mom (a 2-hour drive from home) temporarily til I finish treatment and that was my final decision.
Once he found out he started calling me panicking and arguing saying I had no right to make this kind of decision without his input.
Went on about how he and the house are a mess and urged me to return. I stopped arguing but he kept begging me to return and went on and on about how he and the house are empty and cold without my presence.
His mom got involved and shamed me for ‘turning her son’s routine upside down and messing with his work schedule’ and told me to basically******* up because she was in my shoes and managed just fine with 4 kids on top of that… so I’m ‘clearly’ just acting spoiled and immature.
Now he doesn’t call or even respond, AITJ here?”
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