People Urge Us To Provide Commentary On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
37. AITJ For Not Wanting To Move In With My Partner Anymore?
“So, my partner and I (f 26) have been together for almost 6 years and decided to move in together last year. We’ve been looking for an apartment for months and finally found one we both like and signed the rental papers for a year lease.
I have an 8-year-old cat of my own and a 1-year-old dog we adopted together and we agreed they both were coming with us.
When we went to visit the apartment (18th floor) I told him we needed to get the balconies and windows netted (is that the word?
Like those security nettings for pets and kids).
This last week we both almost fully furnished the apartment and were ready to move in. I mentioned the netting again and he said it was ugly and the cat was not stupid (my cat has lived in a house her whole life) and we should wait and see if she went dangerously close to the balcony or windows and I should just keep them closed and that it was my responsibility) so I told him I needed it installed before the cat moved in for my peace of mind and that I was not moving in without my cat.
He said again it was ugly, that the cat was not stupid and if we saw something dangerous we could put the netting (again, I’m not risking my cat to then decide if we need it or not. An 18th-floor fall means death).
He said I wanted it my way no matter what and I couldn’t understand why he preferred looks over safety so I told him since it was too late to cancel the rental, he could stay there, keep the furniture (I paid half of it) and that I would keep paying my part of the rent and other bills for the rest of the year but I was not moving in and couldn’t be with him anymore.
AITJ?”
36. WIBTJ If I Tell Our Family About My Mother's Threats Of Not Coming To My Wedding?
“My mother and I have always had a difficult relationship she had a bad childhood and didn’t make any effort to break the cycle with her own children.
She instead inflicted the same.
I (28 f) and getting married to my fiancé (28 m) in just over a year. My parents aren’t financially contributing to the wedding at all. Yet she has been bullying me, screaming at me, every step of the way planning the wedding.
Insisting I do things according to her vision, her way, and invite people (3rd/4th cousins) that I don’t know and can’t afford to invite anyway. If it’s not over the guest list it’s over the menu, if it’s not the menu it’s our child policy (only inviting around 100 people due to the global crisis and finances).
Then she complained I don’t include her enough but when I try she doesn’t hold up her end (asked her to help me find bakers for cake tastings) she refused and instead went on about how she’ll buy her own desserts for one person (my older sister) since I’m ‘selfish’ and refuse to have a gluten-free wedding cake… we’re having an entire dessert table for them to pick from with allergen safe options.
I had enough and I blew up at her and confronted her about her impossible behavior. Instead of apologizing or doing anything to make it right (this woman has never apologized to me for anything in my entire life) she said that she wouldn’t come to the wedding at all then and that I better not bad mouth her to relatives (important to note she made similar threats on not attending my sister’s wedding 3 years ago).
I’m done with her, I’m at a point where I don’t care if she comes at all and really want to let the family know what crap she’s pulling. I know it will embarrass her, and I know that deep down she doesn’t mean it (just wants to hurt me as she can’t handle being called anything but an amazing person) but at the same time, I’m done being treated like dirt and think she deserves to be embarrassed and called out for her behavior by others not just me as maybe she’ll re-evaluate herself or at the very least she’ll stop knowing the whole family will address any further behavior from her.
So would I be the jerk for letting the family know how she’s behaving and the threats she’s making knowing it will embarrass her? I may be the jerk as I know how others will react to her and she will get called out for it.
Addressing things with her myself never works and I’m done having my 60-year-old mom degrade me.”
35. AITJ For Refusing To Get My Jeep Back?
“I had a 2008 JK Jeep that I loved when I was in high school. She went into repair for about 10 months at this point. But over the remainder of high school and the first half of summer, I was severely depressed. To the point, I was barely human.
In the second half, I had friends to help me get out of this hole.
As I slowly became more mentally stable I realized my parents held a lot above my head in order for me to do things for them.
Including this jeep. After more time working through things, I realized I had most of my mental decline on this jeep, I realized every time it was taken away, I would get hurt. And I had stopped loving it. After the last time my dad threatened to sell it I just said okay.
He kept the Jeep because he needed to fix it. There were a few things wrong main death wobble and some seals. I had to help because I don’t know. Well, I just didn’t. Now fast forward to December I have no clue on the status of how functional the Jeep is but Dad is driving it.
I was told to clean it to pay back my college fees. Whatever. On my break, my dad and mom said they had a late Christmas present. They were giving me my Jeep back! They asked how it feels to have her back.
I just said Nah.
They asked what I meant and I replied that I didn’t want it. Now they are scrambling to come up with a deal with me because the other reason my dad didn’t sell it was because he wanted it to be passed down to me since it’s a manual and I can drive a manual. My sister can’t drive a manual. My parents said they’ll give me till tomorrow to think about it to give themselves time to come up with something for me to take back the Jeep.
I’m still saying no, and I’m happy about it, I told my sister about it and how I’m laughing to myself at them scrambling. She said that I was a jerk for doing this to them. That they spent about 2,500 on repairs and I told them to just sell it.
After that my mom came out to tell me to keep my head up and straight (which means to think things over and not to feel bad) I nodded and went back to cleaning as she went to work.
Maybe I am maybe I’m not, if I am I’ll own it if not eh not a big deal. So am I the jerk for turning down my parents’ ‘present’?”
34. AITJ For Choosing To Watch A Movie Instead Of Accompanying My Friend?
“I (20 F) have a friend named Jane (also 20 F). We met last year in college and became fast friends, but the friendship has honestly been crumbling lately due to some red flags and increasingly bothersome behavior.
Last night it got worse. I was spending the evening in with another friend I’ll call John (25 M). We had finally gotten our schedules lined up to watch a particular movie he’d recommended to me, and about half an hour into it, my phone lights up and buzzes.
It’s a call from Jane, but I’m busy, so I just let it buzz and go back to the movie. The thing is, it goes off again. And again. In the middle of the third ring, I pause the movie and apologize, saying I might as well answer it or Jane will keep blowing up my phone, that she never texts if she needs me, just blows up my phone til I answer.
John says it’s okay and waits while I pick up and say hello to Jane.
She started asking me where I was, what I was doing, why I wasn’t answering, etc. I told her I had it on Do Not Disturb (not quite the truth, but I didn’t want her to know I’d ignored her first two calls) and just so happened to look over at my phone while she was calling.
She repeats her questions but doesn’t give me the chance to answer them before she tells me she leaving her place and headed to mine because she needs somebody to go somewhere with her. I asked her what she was even doing and she reminded me of something illegal that she’d brought up a few days ago.
She said the place she was going seemed sketchy and it was already dark out (it was about 8 pm) and that she didn’t want to go alone, that she was worried about being alone there at night and also being alone if something happened and she got pulled over at any point during the process.
I honestly didn’t want any part of the illegal activity she was participating in or get tangled up with the cops over it. When she asked again where I was/if I was at home, I told her yes, that I was at home and was watching a movie with John.
She then asked again if I could go with her, and I said sorry but no, John and I are hanging out. She started trying to push me and almost guilt trip me into going, saying it was dark and sketchy and she ‘just couldn’t go alone’ and that I’m ‘her best friend’ so she ‘really needs me’.
She started asking again if I could go, asking why I couldn’t just pause the movie, promising it wouldn’t even take half an hour, and I stood firm and told her no, I had obligations, John and I have been planning this for a couple weeks and I wasn’t available.
She seemed really upset and sounded very down when I suggested she call one of our other friends or simply go during the daytime, saying ‘Yeah okay bye’ and then hanging up on me. I told John I felt a little bad about it, and he assured me that I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, especially if I’m worried about getting hurt, but today Jane hasn’t texted back or even opened the messages I’ve sent her.
So I’m wondering AITJ here?
EDIT – Just some clarification on what Jane was doing. It wasn’t something ‘possibly’ or ‘potentially’ illegal, it was something absolutely illegal. And while the possibility of her getting caught was very very low, had she been caught, she would’ve been charged with a felony.”
33. WIBTJ If I Say Something About My Dad's Partner Not Saying "Please"?
“I (31 m) work in travel and spend 95% of my time outside the UK. I recently got told I needed minor surgery, it was recommended that I fly home to get it done.
As I mostly live out of Airbnbs, I didn’t have a place to stay in the UK. I asked my dad if I could stay with him for 2 weeks while I recovered from the surgery.
He lives with his partner of 10 years, they have lived together for around 5 years.
I have always maintained a very good relationship with my dad and a fairly good relationship with his partner (Jane). Jane and I had one big argument 2 years ago. We made up and have gotten on well since.
It’s been 4 days, and I have noticed Jane has asked me to do a number of small tasks, and not once has she used the word ‘please’.
Eg. we walked past a pot plant in the garden that had been knocked over… ‘Pick up that pot plant’, or ‘Loosen the top of this jar’, ‘Put this on there.’
(I actually noticed this years ago, but have never before been in a position to experience it every day)
I find the way she asks me to do these things to be extremely rude. I’ve been very close to saying something about it, the only thing stopping me is that I know my dad hates conflict. I appreciate everything he has done for me by letting me stay here, and I know how awkward he would feel if things escalated into a full-on argument.
Today he could tell something was wrong, I told him what was bothering me, and told him I was planning on saying something to Jane the next time it happened. He pleaded for me not to.
So, am I overreacting here?
WIBTJ to say something to her next time it happens, knowing there’s a good chance it’s going to escalate and make my dad very uncomfortable?”
32. AITJ For Firing My Sister-In-Law From Being One Of My Bridesmaids?
“I (27 f) got married on Saturday. I had 6 bridesmaids, 2 of whom are my fiance’s sisters: Anna (26 f) and Elsa (31 f). Elsa has had a tough life and suffers from some mental illness and hasn’t had a stable job.
Therefore, I tried to make the wedding easy for her by purchasing the dress for her, paying for her hair and makeup, and making other events optional such as the bachelorette or bridal shower as she lives in a different state.
All I requested was to be at the wedding with the dress.
She attended the bachelorette but she distanced herself from everyone. After the trip, she called my fiancé and told him that we were all bullying her. Also, she didn’t pay back the maid of honor for her expenses (dinners and drinks).
We found out later she used my fiance’s credit card and made $250 charges on Amazon, which was stuff she wore on the trip. She has not paid us back to this day.
Then there was the bridesmaid’s dress: I bought Elsa the dress for her birthday.
I asked her for her measurements so I could order the customized size. Elsa took about a month to send them (every time I texted and called her she would not respond) and when she did, the measurements were impossible.
They were smaller than any of the possible sizes on the site (she isn’t a small woman). I had to pretty much guess her size based on pictures. She asked me to send it to her friend’s house as she was living there, but by the time it arrived a month later, she was living with her partner.
Elsa picked up the dress a month and a half after it was delivered, two weeks before the wedding
Finally, the wedding weekend. During the rehearsal, I found out from someone else that Elsa didn’t bring the dress. I had told all bridesmaids that no dress = no walking down the aisle with me.
When we finally asked Elsa what happened with the dress, she wouldn’t give a straight answer and kept saying that her partner was mistreating her (which we had heard a week ago) and then said that her mom had taken out the dress rearranging the bag.
The conversation got heated between Elsa and my fiance and she started calling me toxic and disrespectful. Later, we called a friend who found the dress and overnight it so we thought it was all good until my mom told me Elsa went to her to explain the situation and started telling her the same things: that I was toxic and disrespectful.
After that, I had enough. I called Elsa and told her that the people I want by my side are supportive of me and would never talk crap about me to my mother and if she really believes I’m toxic, it would be better if she was not a bridesmaid.
I told her she could still attend the wedding but not as a bridesmaid. My fiance was fully supportive of me. Elsa was mad and called me a jerk.
Elsa didn’t come to the wedding. My fiance was hurt about it but did not blame it on me but of course, I keep thinking if I am to blame.
So am I the jerk for kicking my SIL out of the wedding party?”
31. AITJ For Saying My Friend's Significant Other Is A Red Flag?
“I (19 F) have been best friends with my friend (19 M) since middle school. A year ago he got a girl and stopped hanging out with me as much, which was unfortunate but expected. Even then, sometimes I will hang out with him whenever he’s not busy.
However, recently his significant other called me up and asked that I ask him if he’s hanging out with her before I ask him to hang out. Afterward, he texted me telling me he heard his SO come to talk to me and I was honest and said she did.
He started to talk about his relationship and how she’s insecure and doesn’t like him hanging out with me because he’s a guy and I’m a girl. The thing is, I’m a lesbian. He knows that, she knows that, basically everyone does, but she says that’s not the point.
I didn’t understand what she meant and so I started questioning my friend who began to say she didn’t like that he prioritized me. However, I thought that didn’t make sense because I barely hung out with him, only ever chatting with him every 1 or 2 weeks.
So, he clarified more and said that whenever he wanted to hang out with me a little, she felt jealous. A specific event is when I texted him about some Nerf guns I got and he decided he rather come play with them than call his SO before work.
He did end up calling her before coming to hang out, but she still brings this up as an example of him prioritizing me over her.
Now, the real situation starts a few hours after this whole confrontation in his relationship.
Apparently, he’d gone and told his SO all the things I told him. Mainly I told him his SO is being a ‘red flag’ because she is choosing who he can hang out with and he’s doing what she says because she gets really insecure and sad.
I told him that if the roles were switched, people would be freaking out. When he told his SO this she got really upset and told him he could no longer hang out with me until he got her OK.
He agreed with her because he says he has to prioritize her mental health and wellbeing. Instead of being okay with all that, I, in summary, told him to have a good life and blocked him.
However, now I’m beginning to second-guess myself.
Maybe I should’ve minded my own business. So, AITJ for calling my friend’s SO a ‘red flag’?”
30. AITJ For Wearing My Ring Around My Neck Instead Of Getting It Resized?
“I (38 M) have been married to my wife ‘Vanessa’ (38 F) for 12 years, and together for 15.
Vanessa and I both like wearing rings, since we got together up until now, it’s rare we don’t have some non-wedding related ring on along with our wedding ring.
Due to this, we decided that instead of the typical wedding band, we would get each other a customized ring fitting each other’s preferences. We didn’t see them until they were exchanged.
I’ll be honest, I’m not fond of the style of my wedding ring, it’s lovely, but not my style.
I’m more into black rings without heavy amounts of gems, my ring is the opposite, rose gold and very flashy. I never complained, I do love it for the sentiment, just not the style. I’ve never told Vanessa this, as I think it’s a stupid thing to complain about, and I’ve worn it nearly every day for 12 years.
Recently I noticed that my ring doesn’t fit like it used to, so I decided that instead of getting it resized I would just wear it around my neck, and wear one of my more simple bands around my ring finger to show that I’m taken.
Vanessa noticed, and didn’t say anything at first, but eventually asked ‘How long is it going to take for your ring to be resized?’
I told her that I wasn’t planning on resizing it right now (might do so in the future, depends) but I’m still wearing it around my neck, and that the one on my ring finger is just to show that I’m taken.
She got super mad, asking if her ring wasn’t good enough for me, and that I was being unappreciative and rude in her opinion. It was a really big argument, but eventually calmed down, though she’s still pressing on it whenever she re-notices the ring.
I’ve asked my mother for her opinion (purely because she’s a married woman, im not a mommy’s boy), and she says that she can see both points, but I should just concede to avoid another argument.
I don’t know, I want some extra opinions, AITJ for not resizing my ring?”
29. WIBTJ If I Ask The Principal If She Could Move My Daughter To A Different Teacher's Class?
“Five years ago, my then 9-year-old daughter started puberty earlier than others her age, and body odor was a problem; foot smell also runs in my family.
We started using footpowder for her shoes, but sometimes it didn’t help, and she habitually bounced her foot when working. Being young, she loved wearing flats to school and was in the class of RT (Rude Teacher).
RT pulled my daughter aside before recess and told her that she needed to keep her shoes on because she was ‘making the classroom stink’ and then days later called out my child’s name in front of the entire class, prompting my child to put her foot down, the teacher thanked her and went on teaching.
When I pointed out how embarrassing that was for a 9-year-old who doesn’t have control of her body smells right now the teacher was very blazé about the situation and how she’d handled it, and it gave my daughter body issues that she’s still dealing with (she’s going into 9th grade now).
I’ve never forgiven RT or gotten over
Now, in May, requests for the upcoming school year were sent out, and I requested my second daughter (D2) not be put in RT’s class. I didn’t go into detail as to why, just requested she not be in RT’s class.
Teachers were posted today and lo and behold D2 is in RT’s class.
D2 has ADHD and gets very emotional very easily, and from what I heard from a friend who subbed for RT’s class last year it was a crap show.
I have my reservations about how well RT would be able to handle D2 or if there would be a similar situation of embarrassment for her.
Would I be the jerk if I emailed the principal and asked her to move D2 to the other teacher’s class BEFORE school starts?
I don’t want to make her work harder, but I also don’t like the approach of ‘Eh just wait and see what happens.’
My husband, however, feels that we should give RT another shot because we will have 2 other kids going into her class in the future (if she’s still teaching) and we can’t always ask for special placement because of something that happened 5 years ago.
So… WIBTJ?”
28. AITJ For Taking Back My Car From My Sister-In-Law And Her Partner?
“I have a classic 1997 Saab 900 that I bought nearly new when I was 25.
I drove the car for 12-14 years and kept it well-maintained. In 2012ish I sold it to my BIL who was down on his luck for $500 dollars when the car was worth $2500. I always told him when he was done with the car or couldn’t afford the repairs I would take it back.
In 2019 he reached out to say he needed to get rid of the car. At that time I had no real place to store it and my kids were not old enough to drive it, so my wife and I got a new title and bought some parts so my SIL could use the car as she and her partner were in desperate need of a car.
Neither had one, and my SIL currently didn’t have a license as she lost it in a DUI.
Over the next few years, the SIL’s partner worked on the car, found parts, bought new tires and rims, and otherwise maintained the car.
In 2021 he stopped using and it was sitting in their driveway. My SIL is still without her license. Also, when we let my SIL use the car we put the title in my MIL’s name as she was going to pay the insurance.
Fast forward to 2022. My son is old enough to drive and recently totaled our 2007 Volvo in a single-car accident. He is OK. My wife and I have private school tuition to pay and college to save for, so we really don’t want to spend 5-10k to buy my son a new car.
So last week we reached out to the SIL and asked her if we could pay her 1000 dollars to take the car back. The money was a thank-you for taking care of the car. She and her partner flipped out and said the car was theirs and it was not for sale.
After many nasty texts, all coming from her, we agree on a price of 1800. Then the next day she texted me asking for more money for the tires and rims they put on a year earlier. I told her we had made a deal for 1800.
AITJ taking this car back when my SIL who does not have a license and does not use the car for work, thinks the car is hers? Also, the guy is attached to the car since he did so much work on it.
My wife and I probably could find another option, but I have always loved my original SAAB and am excited to restore it and let my 17-year-old son use it. Thoughts?”
27. AITJ For Kicking My Bratty Sister Out Of My House?
“After our parents passed I (21 m) have taken my sister (19 f) in so she didn’t have to move in with our grandpa.
My sister hasn’t been making things easy for me lately. She’s jobless but constantly wants money from me to buy nice things. She also likes to disappear for days at a time. I’m not forcing her to pay rent or anything I just want $100 a month for her car insurance and phone bill.
Well, last Thursday I canceled her car insurance and removed the battery from her car (it’s in my name) after she missed 2 car insurance payments.
I told her Thursday night not to drive the car anywhere because she no longer had insurance.
I told her we’d talk about putting the car into her name so she could pay the insurance herself instead of just giving me the budget to pay for it. She agreed and I went to bed.
Mid-day Friday while I was at work I got a call from her and she was yelling that I broke her car.
I told her it was not broken and that I just disabled it so she couldn’t go anywhere because I knew she would try to. I told her it wouldn’t be very smart to drive with no insurance because if she crashed she could be in a lifetime of debt.
I told her we’d talk about it when I got home and I’d take her wherever she needed to go. I got home and she wasn’t there so I texted her and asked where she was but she never answered. I checked the cameras in my garage and saw one of her friends pick her up.
She’s an adult and she can make her own choices so I left it at that.
On Sunday I got a call from my grandpa’s neighbor saying he wasn’t answering the phone or opening the door. Long story short I got there and he was unconscious with foam coming out of his mouth.
I thought he was dead but I checked his pulse and he had one but it was very weak he’s doing okay now though.
I texted my sister what was going on but she didn’t answer me. Throughout the week as I got more updates I kept texting her and trying to call but she never answered. I’ll admit I was upset she didn’t seem to care about the only family we had left.
Well, yesterday evening she showed back up, completely ignored me, and went right into her room. I went to talk to her about our grandpa and to see if she wanted to visit him. Before I could even talk she asked me for money or if I’d get her a pizza.
I told her I was not giving her money or ordering food because we had plenty here. She yelled that she hated it here and that she was glad she was moving out soon.
I asked if she even cared about our grandpa and she said no not really.
I told her to pack her stuff and that I didn’t care where she went as long as it was away from here. The whole time she was packing she was calling me every name in the book but mostly that I was a jerk.
One of her friends came a picked her up and since then I’ve been getting constant text messages and calls from her and her friends saying I’m a jerk. AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Telling My Significant Other To Stop Bringing My Things Home?
“We are in our early 20s. Together for almost 3 years. For the past 6 months, we have been semi-long distance. A 4-hour drive apart.
So we are currently only seeing each other on weekends and breaks. It’s difficult for us both but it’s temporary. My significant other has this habit of taking my things back home with her. At first, it was cute. Like aww, you took my shirt this one time cause you wanted to wear it to feel closer to me.
She even asked the next time if she could take a book with her that reminded her of the early days. Sure that’s fine.
But it’s now got to a point where every few weeks, she’s taken something of mine without even asking.
A drawing I made, one of my favorite guitar picks, etc. I have to text/call her and ask her ‘Did you take my ___?’ And she’d be like ‘Yes, it makes me feel closer to you’ or some variety of that.
I had to ask her very politely for that pick back.
She has been with me for a few weeks over break. Today I was helping her pack, as she is leaving tomorrow. What do I notice? She has yet another one of my shirts in her suitcase.
I’m like you can’t be serious. I admit I’ve been secretly so annoyed by this whole thing, that I didn’t react in the best way. I shouldn’t have held it in and that’s my bad. I raised my voice telling her this has gotta stop.
I told her at this point I’m starting to think she just wants to steal my stuff cause she likes it and it’s nothing to do with distance.
She got very upset and said I’m heartless. That it’s her way of coping with the distance.
I felt bad and apologized for my reaction, but told her I needed my stuff. Asked her what if she took something that I really needed and I couldn’t get it back in time. I said it’s fine to keep the stuff she now has, but no more.
She agreed to stop but was still upset, saying she never expected me to act this way. AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Walking Out When My Friends Would Let Me Have A Slice Of Pizza?
“After graduation, my (18 F) friends – Sandra (17 F), Katie (18 F), Daniel (18 M), and another guy – invited me for pizza at the restaurant, but I said that I couldn’t go with them since I don’t have enough money with me – the only thing I had was my phone in the pocket and a few coins which in USD would be equivalent of $2.
One of them (Sandra) told me, that it was fine and that MAYBE she could give me a slice or two of hers since she wouldn’t eat it all, and she was the only one who wanted to order a pizza with tuna.
When it came time to place an order Katie said that actually she was fine with tuna and could split the costs of the pizza with Sandra. To summarize, they ordered one pizza with chicken, one with tuna, and two liters of juice.
The waiter immediately brought the drink and put the glasses in front of us. I wanted to take one glass and pour some of the juice in it, but Sandra said ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ right away.
My hand hung in the air for a moment.
Me: ‘I… just wanted to drink some juice.’
Sandra: ‘But it’s our juice, have you paid for it?’
Me: ‘I have only $2, I told you.’
Sandra: ‘Yeah, and you still haven’t paid for this’.
Me: ‘Fine, if you care about my $2 so much, then have it’.
And I tossed the coins to her side. She looked at it, slowly counted them, and put them in her wallet without saying anything. I reached for the glass with my hand, filled it halfway with juice, and took one small sip.
The first one and the last one.
The waiter brought both pizzas and put them on the table. I reached with my hand for a piece of pizza and Sandra said ‘Why are you touching OUR food?!’ I looked at her puzzled and (remembering that she said earlier that she was fine with me ‘having a slice’) I asked what is she talking about.
Sandra: ‘I’m talking about the fact, that it’s our pizza and you haven’t paid for it’.
Me: ‘Come on, I will give you back as soon as I can. Anyway, I gave you ALL the coins I had in my pockets now’.
Sandra: ‘But that was only $2!’
Me: ‘And it was all I had! You invited me only to make me watch you eat?’
Daniel: ‘I mean, you know Delta, she’s right, if you haven’t paid you can’t eat. I don’t know what’s your problem here’.
Me (to Sandra): ‘I said that I will give you this money back. Have I ever forgotten to give you any amount back?’
Sandra: ‘YOU NEVER GIVE ME ANYTHING BACK!’
I looked at her and I reached into my pocket for my phone to open the bank’s app and show her all those transfers I’ve made to her so far to prove that I always give her her money back.
But I didn’t.
I got up, took my jacket from the chair, and left without saying a single word.
AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Telling My Dad I Hate His Partner?
“I (15 f) extremely dislike my dad’s (37 m) partner (44 f).
I live with my mom and my dad lives two states away so I only get to see him during the summer and school breaks.
But his partner always makes it miserable to be there.
I just came back from my dad’s and as he dropped me off I told him I hated his partner and didn’t want to be around her.
For context, my dad works on cars and she works from home so she’s always there unless she goes on business trips.
She happened to go on a business trip when I was there this time.
A few days before she left she had bought a large bag of Skittles and told me I was free to eat some if I’d like.
When she left for her trip she left them there and I presumed I could eat some. I had only had maybe half a handful of the bag which was enough to make the bag slightly lighter than when she had left. When she got home I was in my room and I guess she had noticed some of her Skittles were missing, but hadn’t said anything to me about it.
When my dad got home from work she started screaming about how he ‘raised a heathen’ and that he was a failure as a father, that he shouldn’t have been able to raise me, and how much better her kids were than me.
Hearing this I went to the living room and she looked at me and said ‘You little brat stole my Skittles.’ I was confused and was trying to explain that I thought I was allowed to eat some because she previously said I could?
And she basically just went on a tangent about how I need to ask and not just steal her things.
The day after that she acted like nothing had happened and was being super sweet to me and my dad like she didn’t just degrade us both the day before.
So when my dad took me home I told him I hated her and didn’t want to see her ever again.
But I don’t know how to feel because he really likes his partner but she’s super mean to him.
Am I the jerk for saying I hate her? Was I just being dramatic and it’s really not that big of a deal?”
23. AITJ For Refusing To Tell My Partner How Much I Weigh?
“Out of nowhere today, my partner (30) asked me (28 F) how much I weigh because ‘my gym app wants to know.’ Ignoring the ridiculousness of that sentence, I simply responded, ‘a lot.’ He kept pushing and asked if I was really refusing to tell him when he could just guess anyway.
I then used a line I learned on the internet when he asked for a reason: ‘No is a complete sentence.’ He then got very upset because we’ve been off and on (mostly on) for over 5 years and he couldn’t understand why I would maintain this boundary.
Here’s the thing. I’m what nice people would call plump or thick and what realists would call fat. I’ve done a lot of work to find some self-esteem and body confidence and I’m fine with being fat. In fact, I regularly call myself that because there’s nothing wrong with the word except how it’s used. I’m trying to lose weight but admittedly not as hard as I could and my physicals have shown me to be otherwise healthy.
So on the surface, no one would expect me to shy away from disclosing my weight when I make it a habit to honestly answer direct questions, even with ‘I’m not comfortable answering that question.’
However… I was raised in a family where being fat was the worst thing you could be.
I was told that it was a good thing I was smart because no man would ever want me, that it was such a shame my looks would cause me to die alone, etc. For context, these comments came from all sides of my extended family and even my own mother made terrible comments in this vein, though hers were more related to comparing me to my much prettier sisters.
They were so regularly said to my face starting in elementary school that I internalized a lot of it. Again, I’ve come a long way, but the number on the scale is still a huge block for me that only gets shared with my medical providers.
My partner still seemed really hurt, though, when I pushed back against his repeated requests to disclose my weight and told me that it didn’t matter because he loves me the way I am. It honestly made me feel awful and I know my views on this are skewed because of my baggage.
Was I a jerk not to tell him?”
22. AIJT For Not Telling Customers That I'm Earning From Their Trash Equipment?
“I do tech support for small businesses and individuals as a bit of a side gig. I accept electronics for recycling from both my customers and whoever just happens to be throwing away some tech. I don’t pay anything for it, just offer to haul away anything that they would otherwise throw in the trash.
(My area has a severe lack of easily accessible options for recycling of any kind.)
With that equipment, I disassemble it, collect all the metals and circuit boards for scrapping, set aside any recyclable plastics, and might keep a part if it’s something reusable.
I don’t get anything for the recyclable plastics, and on the rare occasion that I’m reselling a used part, I don’t ask much for it. But I do get scrap prices for the wiring, metals, and circuitry. Not very much mind you – a couple of dollars for several pounds of each.
With the disassembly time, storing it all, and trucking it around I’m probably barely breaking even, if that. I mostly do it because I find tearing things apart to be therapeutic and sometimes a learning opportunity, and storing/trucking stuff isn’t a huge issue for me.
And most people seem to like it.
A woman asked me to come in and install her new printer. I did so and then asked if she would like me to haul away the old (broken) one. When she asked what I was going to do with it, I gave her the abbreviated version of the above – I’ll recycle it for scrap.
Her husband asked something along the lines of ‘But if you’re getting paid for the scrap metal then why should we just give you the printer? Shouldn’t you be offering to buy it?’
I tried to explain that I’m not making much more than maybe a couple of pennies off a printer, it’s more about the volume of scrap that I take in, but they became annoyed and accused me of trying to steal the printer or fleece them somehow, by not telling them that I’d be selling the ‘printer’ (scrap).
They paid me for the job and said that they would sell the printer themselves.
Should I disclose that I’m getting money from their trash equipment? Even though it’s a negligible amount?”
21. AITJ For Quitting My Job Despite Knowing That The Restaurant Is Understaffed?
“I (21 F) work for a small family-owned restaurant over the summer.
While it is family-owned, I am not related to the owners, but I am very close with them. I have worked at this restaurant ever since I was 15 and I see the owners as pseudo-grandparents. They have seen me through many highs and lows throughout the years, and I am very thankful for that.
One low was a relationship I was in during high school. Now I will not go too into it because all that is necessary to know is that it was abusive and bad and ended in me getting a personal protection order against him.
His family is on his side and thinks everything he did to me wasn’t abuse. The owners knew this and supported me through the entire process.
Pat had given me the heads-up that we would have a new cherry supplier this year.
That’s all I was told. When I was told, it kind of went in one ear and went out the other. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized what he meant. I was going to head in for my shift when I got a text from Audrey (second owner).
‘Hey! Mr. (abuser’s last name) is dropping by to drop off some paperwork for Pat. You can come in later today because we don’t want to start any drama!’ I felt my heart sink as I read it and I had my abuser’s family have a small farm.
They mainly produce apples, but I was aware they also produced some other fruits. I had never even thought about them as a possibility because I thought the owners wouldn’t even consider them as a supplier. After receiving the text, I put my phone down.
After about an hour, I received another text from Audrey to come in. I ended up having a panic attack that lasted for about 45 minutes before I headed over to confront them.
When I got there, Pat scolded me for being 45 minutes late since I was one of the two servers for the entire night.
I felt sick as I looked at him. He could tell I was upset and instead of explaining himself, he rolled his eyes and said ‘Are you upset at us doing business with (abuser’s family)?’ Now I was super upset and my emotions were very high, so the conversation here is a little blurry but the basic rundown is that ‘Times were tough’ ‘It happened such a long time ago?
Are you really this upset still?’ ‘Sometimes you just have to let things go’. I’ll admit a lot of my responses were probably incomprehensible because I was sobbing. But I let out an ‘I quit’. He looked like I just told him the worst news of the century and started blabbering about how I couldn’t and they were super understaffed. I just walked out and left.
My parents and friends are on my side but the owners think I am a jerk. Here’s where I may be a jerk: They planned a lot of schedule on me being able to work and now they might have to do reduced hours this summer and the restaurant is their only source of income.”
20. AITJ For Refusing To Quit My Job For My Wife?
“My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We do not have any kids due to some health problems my wife has. Prior to the global crisis, we were both working full-time and my wife would spend a lot of her free time on her hobby which is her true passion.
Once the global crisis got bad, I quit my job because I could not work from home and my wife’s health issues put her at severe risk. My previous job was very people-oriented and the last thing I wanted to do was get her sick.
So we made the decision together that I would quit and try to look for a different job that didn’t require me to be around people.
My wife has worked from home for the past 5-years, so that didn’t change for her.
I eventually found something that allowed me to work from home but for a fraction of my previous salary. But around this same time, my wife’s hobby started to take off and she turned it into an online business. Within 6 months, she was making more than our salaries combined. So she quit her job too and focused everything on her online business.
I would also help out when I could.
Her business started doing so well that I quit my other job and we both dedicated all of our working time to her business. However, it quickly became apparent to me that she didn’t exactly view me as a partner, but more of an employee.
Now, I know this was her hobby to start with, but I’ve had enough jobs in my life to know a boss/employee relationship when I see one.
We had conversations about this and I told her how it made me feel like an employee and not a partner/spouse.
Things would get better for a while, but then she would revert to bossing me around and getting on my case when things weren’t done exactly her way. So, I started to look into different job opportunities without telling her.
Eventually, I found something that would allow me to work remotely about the same as I was before 2020. I told my wife that I got a job offer and I was planning on taking it. She flipped out on me.
She told me it was a betrayal of trust to look for a different job behind her back and that she needed my help. I told her that if she needed my help so badly, she should treat me with the respect of a spouse and not talk down to me like I’m her subordinate.
She told me she would do better, so I held off on accepting the job. But not even two weeks later she was talking down to me again and I told her I was done. Luckily, I was still able to accept the job and I made myself a workspace in a spare room and have been locking myself in there so I can work.
I had to lock myself in because she would constantly come to me asking her help with things.
The other day she practically begged me to quit my job again because she’s so stressed with her business and needs help.
I told her to hire someone else because I’m not doing that again. She told me I am being unsupportive of her dream and that her business is something that is benefitting both of us.”
19. WIBTJ If I Move Out, Forcing My Parents To Find Someone To Take Care Of My Sister?
“I (25 f) am living with my parents (56 m & 54 f) after many health problems and a nasty mentally abusive relationship.
I met a wonderful man Steven (31 m) and we have been getting serious plus talking about our future frequently such as moving in, thoughts on being child-free, and possibly marriage one day. He’s so good to me and I literally don’t see a future without him.
Onto my issue, part of my living arrangement is I help take care of my sister (14 f) who has Cerebral Palsy and is in complete care. Complete as in changing, feeding, transferring, lifting, dressing, etc. I don’t mind taking care of her, I was a nurse assistant for 6 years but unfortunately have a bad back because of this.
When I was growing up since I was 11 I have been her main caregiver, my mother does some things to take care of her but I do the majority especially since she has her own health problems and uses her issues as an excuse not to put in full effort.
My sister goes to a state school for disabled children and I help with watching her before and sometimes after when I’m off work. Another mother of a disabled boy watches her when I’m working. My dad helps but he is getting older and one day will not be able to care for her so much.
I’ve posed this question to a few friends and Steven, and they all say my sister isn’t my responsibility which I understand but I still feel awful. So as my partner and I are planning for our future I would have to move out at some point I planned at least a year which is October and in the middle of the school year.
So WIBTJ if I left my parents high and dry?”
18. AITJ For Using Tampons?
“We (Me 27, him 30) have been together for 3 years, and married for 2 months.
So here’s a thing, I used to use pads for my periods but recently was able to start using tampons (I have medical problems). In comparison, tampons work 10x better for me, especially when I’m outside… say like at work or traveling.
My husband, Ryan, hates them. He never truly gave a reason other than just saying he doesn’t feel comfortable with ME using THEM. I didn’t think it was a big deal at first since he said he hates a lot of stuff that I do but ‘puts up’ with it any way except for this.
He asked that I go back to using pads but I made it clear since it’s my body I get to decide.
He threw away some tampons he had access to, and I was getting upset BUT to keep the peace, I just bought a box and hid it away from him.
He somehow found it and threw it away. I didn’t find that out til I had my period yesterday and realized I had no tampons to use. I was tired, and too stressed I just yelled at him after he admitted to throwing away the whole box.
He argued that I already knew how he felt about ‘this stuff’ and yet I decided to still ‘keep it around’. I lost it and told him he had no right to do this and told him to get over himself already.
He stared at me almost about to tear up or something, then walked out.
He later went on about how we, as a couple should take each other’s discomfort into consideration and said he already tried to speak to me about those tampons yet I brushed him off, insulted him, and verbally abused him.
He also said that if I still insist on using them then I should do it while I’m outside the house but I said that it won’t happen. I feel bad for how it played out but I was just at my wit’s end and in so much pain I lashed out.
Did I go too far here? Does he have a valid point or not?”
17. AITJ For Standing Up For My Husband Against His Colleague?
“My husband (38 M) and I (33 F) have been working from home in a 700sqft apartment, and he’s been at this awful job for 2 years. His team is abusive. Ever since Aug 2020, when the guy who hired him left the company, they got away with being rude to him.
‘Why did you write this in the worst way?’ ‘Are you trying to be a bad software engineer?’ ‘Did you learn to code in a preschool?’ Stuff like this. Everything is negative. The company is small, so there’s no HR.
It’s not targeted. They talk to each other this way, too. It’s just a toxic, angry place.
My husband works very hard and he’s brilliant. This whole month, he has been working past midnight most days, even on weekends. He’s mentally drained so every time his team screams or criticizes him, he just breaks down.
He’s a tough guy and I’ve never seen him so broken and honestly, the late work hours affect me, too. We sleep late and I barely see him in our own home. I just hear them yelling about silly issues.
His office still isn’t open and there aren’t many places nearby that are open late with WiFi. He does try to go to Starbucks during the day so we don’t overlap calls.
Here’s the thing. I work in tech as well, as a manager.
Everything they’re doing is wrong. For example, they code locally and don’t test anything. No version control. That’s why things are always breaking and they’re working these insane hours to put ‘band-aids’ on their code. My husband cannot change anything and he’s fed up.
He’s been interviewing almost every day and I’m sure he has offers on the horizon. I encourage him to just leave and get away from the abuse, but he insists on being an equal provider and he does believe in their mission.
Everything blew up last night. At 9 p.m. on a Sunday, I was waiting for my husband to eat dinner that I labored over. When I went to get him, this is what I heard: ‘What are you talking about?
No, you’re wrong. Stop being a lazy jerk. I told you for the 500th time that this is the way to do it. How does your wife deal with you?’ A 26-year-old colleague who has no idea what he’s doing no less.
I saw my husband turn off his camera, sigh deeply, and just melt down silently, about to cry. That’s when I grabbed his laptop and snapped, ‘At least he has a wife. But maybe don’t talk to people like this?!
Also, you can’t create a database for each person. That is the dumbest idea I’ve heard in a while. We’re going to eat dinner now. Have a nice night!’ Off we went.
My husband liked that someone dished it back but at the same time, he didn’t like that I got involved. I told him I’d been watching this moron yell at someone I love for 2 years straight, day and night, in our home AND he basically questioned me.
I have more to say, and I don’t feel sorry for what I did. AITJ?
P.S. He doesn’t desperately need this job. We both have enough savings to never work again. I don’t know why he puts up with them!
Edit: My husband is not a pushover. He regularly argues back, but he is never rude, he never cusses, and he never puts someone else down. After 2 years of this, he just chooses his battles and some days, it’s just really bad.
He has been seeing a therapist, for a year now, and it’s helping remind him that this is not a healthy work environment. As for why he doesn’t quit, I think it comes from past trauma from being laid off for 6 months, back when we couldn’t afford it, and he is also afraid of not having purpose, if that makes sense.
I do think what his company is doing is great, but it’s run by a bunch of children who have no organization or management skills. He is very close to finding a new job.”
16. AITJ For Not Being Sure About Attending My Sister's Wedding Because Of My Three Dogs?
“My sister (S) is getting married. My wife (W) is a bridesmaid and my son is the ring bearer. We live roughly 900 miles away and we have 3 dogs, one of which has high anxiety and fear around anything new.
(He is terrified of a puppy 1/4 his size). We had a family member (FM), who the dogs know, set to watch the dogs for us while we drove to the wedding.
This morning FM told us that due to some change at their job, they can no longer house-sit.
With the wedding less than two weeks away I immediately called S to give a heads-up just in case we couldn’t find a replacement in time. And during my call with S, I said at worst either I or W would have to stay home but the other would absolutely be there with our son to support her on her wedding.
Since I was at work I had to cut the call short, but I sent out a text to other friends/family members that our dogs are familiar with.
My sister then went into bridezilla mode. I received multiple texts and calls From S.
One suggestion of hers was to bring our anxious dog on the trip and leave him at her apartment (our dog doesn’t know her) with her dog (who also has a fear of other dogs). S refused to understand how that idea was a ‘bite incident’ waiting to happen and still didn’t solve the other two dogs not having any sitter.
One of our dogs is old, so Kennels are a terrible idea as they’re notorious for making dogs sick and mistreatment.
Now here’s where S says I’m the jerk. She called me and suggested I use Rover. Which apparently is an app specifically for finding dog sitters.
I explained that under no circumstances would I trust a random person from an app to have unsupervised access to my house while I’m out of state. S then said ‘Well it’s my wedding’ ‘I’m only getting married once’ and ‘You need to make some sacrifices’.
Now I will admit I then began to get mad. I had been emotionally manipulated most of my childhood and now as an adult, I tend to react harshly and bluntly when I feel someone is using emotional manipulation. I told S ‘I understand you’re not happy with what I’ve been telling you.
But I live 900 miles away and I have other priorities in my life I have to take care of besides your wedding! I am trying to exhaust all my options before saying either I or W will have to stay back.
But I’m currently at work and haven’t had the time to get this sorted out between you harassing me! Getting mad at me over a situation I couldn’t control isn’t winning you any points!’
While I was saying my piece she continued to interrupt and say my reasons for shooting down her solutions were all nonsense, etc. I ended my rant with the fact I’m still waiting to hear back from other potential people and to at least cut me some slack.
She ended the call with ‘Well I’ll hang up now since I’m HARASSING you’. That’s the last I’ve heard from S. Our mother isn’t answering my calls and my dad told me S is crying and telling mom about how mean I am.
So AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Paying My Debt To My Ex Using My Partner's Money?
“I (23 f) have been with my current partner (25 M) for 9 months. We met shortly after I got out of a long-term relationship.
For context, I broke up with my previous partner because we no longer wanted the same things. It was a hard but smooth breakup.
We don’t speak anymore, but 2 weeks ago, I sent funds to pay a ‘debt’. We never had a relationship where we had to pay one another back for needing money. The most I ever needed was $2200, and if it wasn’t for him giving me this money, I wouldn’t have a car today.
At the time, he wasn’t in the best financial place, but he made it work for me, and I’m eternally grateful.
Now, my current partner has a well-paying job and I’m a stay-at-home partner. (I have 2 degrees, but since I moved to his city, I haven’t been able to find a job, pls don’t judge me.).
We share a bank account, and I use my card (his money) for whatever I please. He never asks questions.
Recently, I used Zelle (fund transfer service) to ‘pay back’ my ex ($2200). It’s been about a year since we were together, and I heard through a mutual that he wasn’t doing well.
I titled the transfer ‘Thank you’. I didn’t call or text him, and I know he received it. I have no intention of seeking a thank you from him or rekindling a relationship.
I told my partner’s sister about it, and she lost her mind!
She was so upset about what I did and demanded that I get the money back. I explained to her that there were zero feelings behind this and that I did something I was proud of. She told me to forget all that, and that the bigger issue was that it was not my money, but her brother’s hard-earned money.
I tried to explain to her that I used the funds for what I wanted, per my partner’s words, and that I had no intention of hiding it. If asked, I’ll explain.
She said a number of hurtful words, including jerk, hence why I’m here.
Am I a jerk?”
14. WIBTJ If I Tell The Garage Management Team About The Creepy New Parking Maintenance Guy?
“So I (20 f) work in a private business that shares the building with a garage. We are connected in the lower level to the garage and have our own back exit that leads right into the garage. It makes things comfortable because our boss gets us monthly parking passes and we don’t have to struggle to find where to park outside.
I also always leave through the back exit into the garage because we live in a downtown area and the street exit at night doesn’t make me feel the safest.
So, there’s a new parking maintenance guy that started a few months ago.
He’s probably mid-50s-early 60s, and he always stares. Yesterday, I left work at around 6:30 pm and as I walked toward my car, he stopped working and started staring. I was on the 2nd floor and the exit to the garage was like this spiral to the outside, then the pass scanner and wait until the bar goes up.
As I approach the scanner, he stands in front of my car blocking and has a trash bag in his hand. When the bar went up, I moved forward and he moved over to be next to my window (lowered bc I was scanning).
I’m waiting for cars to pass so I can incorporate into traffic, and he tries putting his whole hand (and open trash bag) in my car through the window. I had to swerve to the right so his hand wouldn’t reach.
I immediately entered into traffic and left.
I describe this encounter to my partner, and he says ‘Did you ask him why he did it?’ NO! I was too busy getting out because I found it terrifying! I’ve never spoken two words to this man, and I can’t think of a possible plausible explanation that would make it okay for him to do that.
I was seriously considering writing to the garage management, telling them what happened, and explaining my discomfort. However, given my partner’s reaction when I told him, now I wonder if I’m exaggerating and if my fear is unnecessary.
So, WIBTJ if I contacted the garage management team and told them about what happened?”
13. AITJ For Not Letting My Dad's Partner's Son Borrow My Car Anymore?
“My dad started going out with an incredibly kind woman who’s a joy to be around about 2 years ago.
I adore her 2 kids (m 15 & m 19) and consider them little brothers despite them not being legally related to me (for context). My (f 30) husband (m 29) & I both work in insurance. He’s a licensed adjuster and I work in claims.
My dad Jeff (m 48) let his partner Deb’s (f I think 50ish) son Dylan (m 19) borrow his truck so he had a vehicle to get him to and from school and work.
3 months ago, Dylan was involved in an accident where he hit a car in front of him and the car behind him rear-ended him. He was driving fast enough that the impact totaled my dad’s truck as well as the Prius he hit.
He was cited as being at fault on the police report and got a ticket from the police for reckless driving.
Because he’s a decent kid that I genuinely love, I’ve been letting him drive my car so he can still get to and from work and school.
He called me today to tell me he lost control in an intersection and was t boned into another car, so another accident involving 3 vehicles. He was again cited as at fault on the police report and ticketed for reckless driving.
Seeing the point of impact from the car that hit him, my hopes of a split liability decision dropped so I’m pretty sure my premiums will suffer.
In my experience, being at fault on the police report makes an adjuster’s liability decision pretty easy.
Because he isn’t technically a resident relative (our parents aren’t married) there’s a chance my insurance isn’t going to accept permissive use and they could very easily deny coverage which would place the responsibility for damages on the owner of the vehicle.
Me.
Dylan & his mom have already offered to pay out of pocket to fix my car because it doesn’t have first-party coverage, just PDL (property damage liability coverage). I expressed that that’s great, but once my car is drivable I am not really comfortable with him using my car again.
Deb got kind of an attitude with me and stated if they fix the car he should still get to drive it because he still needs a car. When I asked why he couldn’t use her car she laughed at me and said ‘That is never going to happen.’
That hurt me pretty deeply because I hold her in really high regard. My mom is not a good person, and Deb is the first mom-like figure I’ve ever really had. I love her and my brothers (her boys), but he has trashed 6 people’s cars in just 3 months, none of which belonged to him.
I feel so much anxiety about setting this boundary because my chosen family can leave. They aren’t married or related by b***d, they don’t have to like me or stay around and I don’t want to lose them over this but I really can not justify letting that b******e drive my car again (he’s not a jerk, I love him he’s just a reckless teenager).”
12. AITJ For Not Letting My Son Come To His Best Friend's Sleepover Birthday Party?
“This year, my son (8 m) has befriended a classmate, ‘Ralph’, who has invited my son to a sleepover at his house for his birthday. I was surprised by this as Ralph has never invited my son to a party before, nor has he attended any of the parties or school discos that he has been invited to, including my son’s.
I have only met Ralph briefly outside the school gates a few times when I go to pick my children up. Ralph is always alone and he always walks, which is uncommon here because the school is on a busy road and there is nothing but woodland and fields for ages, no houses in sight.
I have never actually met Ralph’s parents and nor have any of the other parents I know.
When I asked my son for the invitation, he told me that Ralph hadn’t given him one, but he promised that his parents had said it was okay.
I asked him how was I supposed to drive him to Ralph’s house and he told me Ralph’s grandfather would pick them up from school. I asked if he had Ralph’s grandfather’s contact information and he said that he did not.
I asked when he’d be dropped home, he said he did not know.
I spoke to my partner about this and eventually decided to write a little note for my son to give to Ralph to pass on to his parents, politely asking for contact information so we could discuss arrangements for the party.
My son promised that he had given the note to Ralph, but Ralph’s parents never sent back any response. When picking my children up from school, I asked if any other parent had heard about this party and they had not.
Ultimately, I decided that my son had to tell Ralph that he couldn’t go. My partner disagreed with me about this, saying it would be good for my son to go to his first sleepover and that I was just paranoid, and of course my son was upset, but I stood firm.
Today, I heard from my son that Ralph was devastated as his grandfather had rented a car especially to pick them up and that my son was the only friend he had wanted to invite over. My partner says that I should change my mind and allow him to go.
I worry that I am overthinking it and that perhaps there is a good reason as to why we haven’t heard from his parents. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Only Taking One Of The Three Kids On A Day Out?
“My (19 m) older brother (26 m) has three children. Every Sunday afternoon his children will spend a few hours at my mother’s house while he plays rugby and his wife is at work.
Every week, he and his wife will write a list of activities for them to do so they do not get bored. This week, one of the activities was cycling. My oldest nephew, Isaac (4 m), is obsessed with his bike and would ride it in circles around our garden for hours if we let him.
We assumed that this activity was targeted at him, so I took him and his bike to a local track while my mother stayed home and let the younger two (2 m & 2 f) help her bake.
Despite the cold weather, Isaac seemed to be having fun.
When he was finally willing to leave because he was hungry, we realized that we’d missed dinner so we stopped at Burger King on the way back.
Isaac was pretty tired for the rest of the afternoon, but he got his energy back when my brother came to collect him, excited to tell him about how well he had ridden his bike.
When my mother told my brother about how we had gone out, he got annoyed with us. He said that the items on the list were for ALL of his children and that it was unfair to take one out and not the others.
He said that when he and his wife take them out, the younger two like to run after the bike. My mother and I thought that he should have been more specific on the list as it only said ‘cycling’.
He and his wife are now accusing us of playing favorites, which we had not intended to do, and that my mother had never ‘respected’ the lists they had given her. It is true that my mother didn’t appreciate not being trusted to keep them entertained, but she respected their parenting.
I understand why it may seem like favoritism, especially since I bought Isaac a meal with a toy and nothing for his siblings, but it is not because we like one child more or less than the others.
AITJ? Should I have taken all three children out?”
10. AITJ For Being Happy For My Niece After She Cut Her Mom Off?
“My sister has never been a prize parent. She married rich and had a baby because that’s what she was supposed to do. Truthfully she never looked after her own daughter for a single day. Even on things like Christmas, she would go to parties and her daughter would celebrate with us (nannies don’t work on Christmas).
We all knew her daughter wouldn’t have any semblance of a relationship with her. As she got older my sister would talk to her but it was never about things she liked. It was always things like, she’d book a trip to Disney for her birthday.
My niece has been terrified of theme parks since she was small.
My niece has just turned eighteen. She got her inheritance money from her grandpa and is set to start college this year. My dad drove her up to her college dorm a couple of days ago actually.
She’s doing well.
As soon as she got there she sent her parents a text informing them that she was cutting them off and to no longer contact them.
No one is surprised – not even her dad. No one besides my sister, apparently.
She’s been complaining since it happened. She was incredibly upset. But we tried to warn her – if you don’t start bonding with her she won’t care for you and all that.
When she finally approached me and explained her feelings and how she ‘just didn’t understand’ I laughed at her.
I told her that we’d all warned her and that I, in fact, am incredibly happy for my niece.
She went and complained to our mom who is potentially the only one on her side. She called me immature and said it was the wrong thing to do, I needed to apologize – all that.
I haven’t, but probably will. I thought I’d come and post it here just to see the general public’s idea.
So, am I the jerk?”
9. AITJ For Adding My Order To Someone Else's To Skip The Line?
“I went to get lunch at a popular lunch place (I go here at least once a month) last week and found an abnormally long line when I got there.
The normal line is 5 minutes long. This line was 20+ minutes long.
I was in a hurry and did not have time to wait 20 minutes to get my food.
So, I had a choice to make. Skip the line and get to eat lunch – or leave because of the long line and not eat lunch that day.
Waiting in the 20-minute line was not an option (I simply did not have time to spare).
At the front of the line, there is a small area where 2-3 people queue up while waiting to order. These people are basically next in line to order.
I walked up to the front of the line to this queue area with 2-3 people – and told them that if someone was willing to add my order to theirs, I would pay for their order. My order was a single sandwich – not something obnoxiously large or anything.
The first person in the queue took me up on the offer.
We ordered. I paid for my order and their order.
And while we were waiting for the food to get made, I kept getting glared at.
One person came out and said that I was rude for skipping the line – and that there was a line for a reason.
A few people backed them up and agreed.
I didn’t really try to justify my actions – I just kind of succumbed – apologized – and left after collecting my food.
Thinking back on it, I keep flip-flopping as to whether I really am the jerk in this situation.
Yes, I skipped the line – but not in the traditional sense. I offered to pay for the other person’s order. And if no one had said yes, I would not have skipped the line.
So, AITJ for skipping the line by adding my order to someone else’s – and paying for the whole thing?”
8. AITJ For Not Forgiving My Brother For Reporting Me For Child Neglect?
“My parents are in their 70s, my brother and I (F) are in our 40s, and my daughter was 5 in 2019.
In 2019 I was in cancer treatment and newly separated from my husband (not because of the cancer, it was a couple of months earlier.
He doesn’t come into this). In the middle of my treatment and at a particularly low point, my brother and/or his wife made a false report to DCF (Department of Children and Families) saying that my daughter was neglected. There were specific allegations like she was wearing dirty clothes to school, living in an unsanitary house, etc, all false.
It was anonymous but to make a long story short, there were strong reasons to believe that brother + wife were the ones who made the call. My parents had instantly thought so.
DCF interviewed me but decided the report was bogus and didn’t investigate.
But they had called her school, they called my ex. We were divorcing and if he HAD decided to be a jerk bad things could have happened. Not to even mention the stress this put me under at what was already easily the lowest point in my life physically and mentally.
For a couple of years, nothing happened. Brother + wife denied that they had been involved. There was nothing anyone could do, and there was still the remote possibility that some nurse might have called (but why make up these details?) Mostly my life went on but now and then when I thought about it and how we were all sweeping it under the rug I was mad.
Why would brother + wife do this? Being a cancer patient in a major depression, I was very needy. I was staying with my parents. This meant that they were not as available to my brother, and he did have some problems during that period.
He injured his back, meaning he could not work for a few months and needed surgery. But he had disability money and a wife to help, and he was still getting around. Also, his wife depended to some degree on my mother for emotional support, which must have been less available.
Finally, my brother is just kind of a jerk in the first place, a right-wing blowhard with authoritarian/racist tendencies.
Recently, my brother told my parents (not me) that his ‘marriage counselor’ had been the one to call DCF, and that he had lied because he was embarrassed. But why would the counselor make a report with such specific lies?
Okay, what if she didn’t think she was lying, that means that brother + wife told her those specific things. To me, this confirms it was them.
Earlier this year, I snapped at him once and made a reference to this situation.
From there, he decided to refuse to be in my presence — to be clear, NOT the other way around. Now my mother sees this as an estrangement that I may not be responsible for, but that I need to help straighten out.
I have said I’m not having any conversation unless there’s an admission/apology. But it’s a strain on my parents. So, AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Telling My Dad My Stepsister Broke My Laptop?
“My (17 f) dad bought me a mid-range laptop for my birthday since I’m starting college in September. It was a combined Christmas/birthday/graduation gift because he’s not exactly rolling in cash and he has 4 other kids that he’s a single dad to, so it was a big gift.
My stepsister, Janice (20 f), does a part-time work-from-home job that requires a computer/laptop but hers broke and was in for repair so she borrowed mine on Monday and Tuesday. On Tuesday, she was doing something on the laptop while walking downstairs and tripped. Luckily she’s okay, she has some mild bruises but no major injuries.
My laptop did not have the same luck as Janice’s. The screen looks like someone burst a pen and smeared it everywhere but thankfully there’s no damage to anything internal. She’s refusing to get it fixed for me though, on the grounds that she can’t afford it and my mom and stepdad won’t pay to get it fixed because they didn’t break it, which is fair I guess but it has me really angry because I’m starting a graphic design course in 3 weeks with no laptop.
I was venting about it on the phone to my dad earlier, and my dad is upset for me and even more upset with himself that he can’t help me get it fixed, but he’s also angry with my stepsister for breaking it.
He texted her without my knowledge after and said he’d be able to pay a 3rd of the cost to fix it if affording to fix it was the issue.
Janice came into my room after and reamed me from a height for telling my dad she broke the laptop since it was an accident and she didn’t mean to.
She said it was none of his business what happens in this house and she never wants to hear her name come out of my mouth again. She also said she had planned on saving up to help me fix it but now wasn’t going to bother because I’m a snitch.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Telling My Dad's Family That I Do Not Have Love For Them?
“I (22 f) have an almost nonexistent relationship with my dad’s side of the family. My father is now deceased, but before he passed we never really visited my extended family, we only had them on social media. They never really called or rather my dad never made too much of an effort to connect us with them.
When my dad passed away I was an early teen. I had moved away and was too far to make it to his funeral. I moved really far away to live with my mom in another country while this was going on and we weren’t financially stable enough to pick up and go there (his death was sudden and unexpected).
I wasn’t included in any of the funeral planning, I wasn’t asked to write anything or to film something for him and none of his siblings called to tell me anything.
They knew I wasn’t able to go for financial reasons.
And the thing that hurt me the most was no one offered to help me or my mother. I was still a minor and we relied heavily upon my dad for money (child support but not child support? If you know, you know).
So when he died we lost a huge chunk of income. None of my family members tried to pull together, no one called me. They just posted about how difficult this experience was for them.
7 years later I’m getting calls from my family and they’re asking me to sign some legal documents for some land my grandmother owned. I said I didn’t know, and that I’d read over the document and call them when it arrived in the mail.
Since the first call more and more of them keep calling to check in on me and are now expressing how much they ‘love’ me. They are asking to support me, to send me funds and to visit. I tried being nice, saying whatever was needed to end the call without conflict.
But one of my relatives decided to bring up my father’s funeral and all my feelings I’ve buried came busting out.
So I made a social media post explaining how upset I was and how disgusted I was with all of them.
I told them to stop calling me to say ‘I love you’ because I have never felt love from them or for them. To me, they are just people who share my b***d and last name.
I’m starting to wonder if it was a jerk thing of me to say to all of these older people (60-70s) that I do not love them.
A part of me understands that they see pieces of my dad in me, but I am my own person and b***d doesn’t compel me to feel like I have to give unconditional empathy and love.
So AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Kicking Out My Fiancé's Pregnant Daughter For Throwing Away My Cat?
“So I (35 f) have been with my (45 m) fiancé for 3 years now he has two kids a daughter (22) who’s a lovely girl and another daughter (19) who I’ll call Kim for the sake of the story.
Kim has always had a bad attitude toward everyone especially me now before anyone assumes my fiancé was already divorced his ex 2 years before we even met and his ex is a nice person who I get along with very well so there’s no hate from her end either.
Kim is 3 months pregnant and living with us because we have more room for her and the baby, the baby daddy stays sometimes but he has two jobs along with studies so it’s mainly been me who’s taking care of her.
So the main issue today was her significant other came over so my fiancé suggested we let them have the house to themselves and go for a walk, about two hours later I came home and noticed my cat missing whom Kim hated and wanted me to get rid of.
I asked her where he was. Kim said she ran out the door which I knew was a lie. Whiskey is an elderly cat who even wouldn’t go out on the porch if I didn’t bring him. So I checked the ring camera and as expected Kim threw Whiskey out and ran her off.
My fiancé tried saying Kim is pregnant, her hormones are all over the place, and pregnancy brain messes with women, and that he was gonna bring up getting rid of Whiskey for the baby’s sake anyway.
I was in tears till I looked over at him with a smug satisfied look on her face.
I lost it. I got up in her face and screamed that she had one hour to find my cat or all her stuff would be in the dumpster and I was done being her slave.
She said she wasn’t looking for my stupid cat and for me to back off as she was pregnant.
My fiancé told me to calm down and we’d look for the cat.
I told him no I would look for my cat and when I get back his daughter better be gone and if he has issues he could go too because I was sick of dealing with his little jerk of a daughter whom everyone, including her own parents and SO, avoids.
I didn’t wait for them to respond. I did hear her crying tho. As you know, I found my cat. He was hiding in some bushes. It took 20 long minutes to find him.
When I arrived home they were both in the living room.
My fiancé said he wanted to talk but first, he said I owed Kim an apology. I told him to screw himself and she better start packing.
She’s at her SO’s family home as far as I know and my fiancé is not talking to me.”
4. WIBTJ If I Tell My Siblings That Their Dad Might Not Be Their Biological Father?
“I’m usually good with keeping people’s secrets but this one is just too much. I wish my mom never even told me. I have two half-sisters (twins) that are 18, I’m 21. We have different dads and the same mom.
My dad was never really involved so their dad raised me pretty much my entire life. He sadly passed away when I was sixteen.
Anyway, I wanted to get a DNA test because I recently got back into contact with my dad’s sister after she moved back to town, and came to my surprise that their mom (my grandma) is adopted and she never found out who her biological parents were before she passed and that made me really want to take a DNA test because I never knew that and I just wanted to see if I could find any family from somewhere else.
When I told my mom about it and that I wanted to take a test randomly thinking it would be an interesting topic point and we would just move on started freaking out so bad. I was so confused and she literally had to sit down before talking.
She told me not to do it and I started freaking out too thinking she was implying my dad wasn’t my dad or something. Instead, she said she knows my sisters will want to copy me and that she’s honestly not sure if their dad is their biological father.
I was beyond shocked. Yeah, my little sisters do copy me and would be interested in their results if they saw mine but knowing my stepdad isn’t their dad was just so heartbreaking. My mom started crying saying his death anniversary was coming up and that I should just drop it or if I do really want to take the test to just do it privately and not tell anyone that knows my sisters or my sisters.
And she told me to never tell my sisters because they would never forgive her. I just feel so much weight on me.
Now I have this looming over me and I don’t know what to do. Would I be the jerk to not tell my sisters?
We’re very close and I wouldn’t want them to know I knew and didn’t say anything. Would that make me wrong? Is it not my secret to share? My mom said she’s taking it to her grave and to not get the idea of a test in their head.”
Your mother should probably talk to your sisters, but you really mustn't push her to do this or threaten to tell them yourself. It is NOT your business and NOT your secret to spill.
3. AITJ For Wanting To Walk Down The Aisle Alone?
“So my fiancé (27 m) and I (25 f) are getting married in a few months and the planning has come to the more detailed things like who stands where and holds a speech and when and so on.
The thing is, I want to walk down the aisle alone because I had to do everything alone since primary school.
The only person who would have a right to walk with me is my grandma, in my opinion, as she was the one who raised and supported me since I could think. But she died last year, so there is no one I want to walk with me.
My parents aren’t bad people, but they were very absent my whole life and favored my little sister (20 f) down to the part where she would get a whole vacation for passing eighth grade, while I had to stay alone at home or with my grandma.
There came my birthday last week and my family and the family of my fiancé were there. I was asked by my future MIL, how the ceremony would be and I told her. My parents were immediately mad. My mother said I could not take that from Dad and he had been waiting for that moment since my fiancé and I mentioned our engagement.
Here is where I may be the jerk. At first, I didn’t want to say why I wanted to walk alone to not hurt their feelings. But they berated and pressured me and my mother said that I could not possibly do that after all they had done for me.
I snapped and told them in front of everybody that they did the bare minimum for me, which was food and shelter but not once did I get a hug or something like that. And that they weren’t interested in me in the slightest since I could walk on my own and that my grandma was everything to me and they could stay home if they didn’t accept my wish to walk alone down the aisle.
I ran out of the house before they could answer and now my parents and my sister are blowing up my phone and calling me a jerk for embarrassing them this way.
So, AITJ for wanting to walk alone down the aisle?”
2. AITJ For Telling My Wife She's Only Doing The Bare Minimum And To Stop Acting So Tired?
“I (40 m) have been married to my wife (35 f) for 8 years. We have a 4-year-old son together, and I have a 15-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.
We get them three days out of the week. I work 5 days a week, 12+ hours at a hospital, constantly on my feet. My wife works from our living room as a nail and eyelash tech, only on the days she has clients.
Some days she’ll have between 1-3 clients a day, other days she will have none and be free all day. There will be nights I’ll be so exhausted and ask my wife for one thing, and she’ll grunt and she’ll moan how tired she is.
The other day she had one client and she was refusing to bathe our 4-year-old, who shouldn’t have even been awake still when I got home from work. She complained about how she didn’t want to do it.
I basically just told her to stop acting so tired because she has the luxury of picking when she works and gets to be home. She got really angry and said she has no luxury because even when she has no clients she has to clean, cook, and take care of the kids.
My two kids are at school til 2 every day, and she gets to decide when to pick up our 4-year-old from Voluntary Prekindergarten. I told her basically what she was complaining about was doing the bare minimum, and again she needed to stop acting so tired. She then accused me of being ungrateful for what she does, and told me not to talk to her, and has been sleeping in our guest room for the past 3 nights.
I do appreciate my wife dearly, I tell her all the time, and I buy her gifts because after working this many hours I couldn’t come home and clean and take care of the kids. I lift people, run through the hospital, and take care of patients all day.
I am tired, and I feel as though she doesn’t recognize how easy she has it. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Pushing My Partner To Reach Her Workout Goals?
“I (32 m) have been with my partner, ‘Chelsea’ (24 f), for almost a year now. We have a great relationship and don’t fight very often. Given our history of open communication and often brutal honesty with each other, I don’t think I’m wrong in this situation.
Chelsea and I have both gained a significant amount of comfort weight over the course of our relationship. A couple of weeks ago, Chelsea cut her hair into a bob, and honestly, I hate it. Her hair framed her face better when it was long, and since she got the haircut, her weight gain is much more visible.
I took this as a wake-up call for myself, realizing that if I was turned off by her new look, I’m sure she would be grossed out by my weight gain too. I have gotten back into the routine of going to the gym, and I am working on eating better, which involves cooking more at home, which she has not seemed to mind.
In fact, this week Chelsea decided she wants to start working out and getting into better shape too. She’s never really been a gym rat, and she has told me that she doesn’t really even know how to work out because she missed out on PE classes when she was younger due to health issues, so I told her I would help her.
I told her to skip weights so she wouldn’t get too bulky and instead to just run a mile a day and maybe some squats and she’ll have the body she wants. Later on the phone, we were talking about her workout goals.
I mentioned that she should run the mile with no breaks, even if it was at a slow pace. I told her that the first few times she ran it she should aim for 10 or 11 minutes, and later work on her time.
As soon as I said this she turned on me, telling me I was crazy, she couldn’t do that, and that I was setting her up to disappoint me by having impossible standards. She told me she was probably going to shoot for more like 15 minutes.
I thought 10 minutes is reasonable, considering that the average mile time should be more like 8 minutes. She completely freaked, and said I was doubling down. I just wanted to back myself up and show her why I said the time I did.
She hung up on me and kept ignoring me and my calls.
When she finally stopped being so mad, she told me that all she asked of me is that I don’t try to set goals for her and support her in reaching her own goals, which I don’t think is smart because her goals are only going to keep her where she is now.
She needs to be uncomfortable, and I wouldn’t tell her to do something outside of her capabilities. I have worked out with a ton of other people, including people who are in worse shape than her, and everyone has been able to reach the goals I set for them.
She got even more mad after I said this, and now she won’t talk to me until I apologize. I feel like if I apologize, she’ll think it’s ok to aim for mediocrity. Plus I’m not really even sure what I have to apologize for.
All I have done is try to be helpful to her in trying to reach her fitness goals.
Am I the jerk?”
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