People Disclose Their Side-Splitting Revenge Stories
36. Driving Onto A Stroller Stopped Her From Speeding
“The teenagers down the street speed by my house and my little ones play out front.
Recipe for disaster.
To slow the speedsters down (and possibly preserve their lives) I bought one of those neon green plastic men who stand by the roadway and hold a flag that says, ‘Slow down.’ I got this little green guy from a lumber/lawn and garden store.
The speedsters did not slow down.
There is one young lady in particular (college-age probably) who not only speeds by, she does so while looking at her phone.
OMG girl. You just left your driveway! Get off the phone!
One day, I purchased a used stroller from social media. I brought the stroller home and placed it in my driveway, which has a steep slope to the roadway. I needed to clean the stroller before use.
After a period of time, the aforementioned young lady came racing toward my driveway, staring at her phone as usual. SOMEHOW, the stroller rolled out into the street as she was passing by and she ran right over it.
Never. Even. Saw. It.
She did stop immediately upon running over the stroller and she was crying when she got out of the car. I just stood there watching her as she gripped her phone, staring at the stroller under the car. Then I walked back into the house, super nonchalant.
She was in the middle of the street (as is her driving habit) and her car was positioned over a crumpled baby stroller.
She knew she was in deep, deep trouble so she called her folks, my neighbors. They came in less than a minute and assessed the situation. NOBODY CALLED 911.
Nobody knew if there was a child in the stroller or not, but nobody called 911.
I watched this whole ‘parents on the scene and nobody called 911’ scenario unfold from the comfort of my dining room window.
I made a mental note to dust the window sill.
After a full minute had passed (an eternity if your car is positioned over a crumpled baby stroller) I walked back out through the garage door, carrying my cleaning supplies, and looked around for my stroller. I pretended to notice the commotion out front for the first time. I walked toward her car, looked under it, and said, ‘Oh, I see you found my stroller.
I just took it out of my car and went inside to get something to clean it with. I guess it rolled out into the street. Good thing it didn’t have a baby in it.’
With that, I turned and walked back toward my house, super nonchalant.
The dad was offering to pay for the stroller while the girl and her mom stood there crying in a pitiful embrace.
Over my shoulder, I told him, ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll get another one. No big deal.’
She does NOT speed by my house anymore.”
35. Block My Driveway? I'll Block Yours Too
“My driveway is a shared driveway for my home and the house next door. ‘My’ part of the driveway curves around toward my garage about fifty feet from the street. The curve is right near the neighboring home’s back patio and door. My former neighbor was a nasty, bitter, inconsiderate woman. She tended to park her car temporarily right at that curve to load and unload her car (perhaps for 30 minutes or so).
This prevented my car from navigating the curve and entering my garage. Usually, I simply parked in the street until she was finished. I gradually got sick and tired of her nastiness, her allowing her dog to bark incessantly on that porch for hours late into the night, her “I’m-superior-to-you” attitude because she was a Bible-believing Christian and I was a Jew.
I digress.
One afternoon, her car was planted at the driveway curve, blocking me from my own garage. Instead of parking in the street and waiting, I pulled my car up behind hers in the shared part of the driveway, turned off my car, and went into my house.
A bit later, she pounded on my back door screaming that I was blocking her and she needed to go somewhere.
I acted stupid and puzzled for as long as I could before I slowly, s-l-o-w-l-y came out and moved my car.
She never blocked me again.
Petty? Yes! But it was extremely satisfying…
A few years after this incident, Mrs. Nasty’s husband had an affair and moved out. Mrs. Nasty sold her home to a quiet, unassuming, man who is a joy to have as a next-door neighbor.”
34. You Should Have Just Kept The Volume Low
“I rented the ground-level apartment in my friend’s split level for a few years.
The guys who rented upstairs owned a party lighting company, and as a result, they usually came home from work around 3 AM. I worked a nine-to-five job, and I’m a fairly light sleeper. When they came home from work, they’d occasionally turn on the TV, and usually fairly loud, which would of course wake me up, but most of the time I could drown out the noise by turning on a fan in my bedroom.
This was annoying but I could deal with it… until one of their friends moved in upstairs. This nasty such-and-such had no problem with turning up the volume on the TV all the way, in the middle of the night every night and watching for hours. These were the early years of flat-screen TVs and they had a big one, so likely it was very expensive.
When I knocked on the door to ask them to turn it down, I was told ‘this is when we get home from work and we’ll do what we want.’ Even having my friend, their landlord, intervene, had no effect.
Well, a few nights of one or two hours’ sleep made me downright ingenious. I remembered that once while microwaving my dinner, I had started vacuuming the floor and having both appliances turned on tripped the circuit breaker.
I crossed my fingers that we were on the same circuit and during the next morning’s 3 AM showing of Willy Wonka, with the girl screaming ‘I love this movie!’ and turning the volume up even louder than usual, I turned on the microwave and the vacuum. Five seconds and poof! Blessed silence! I heard a little shuffling around upstairs, then one of them went down into the basement and reset the circuit breaker.
The power came back on, and so did the television. I waited about a minute before turning back on the microwave and vacuuming. Poof! Silence! They reset the circuit breaker again, but this time there was no more TV. I went back to the most blissful slumber ever.
My friend later told me that they complained to him about the power going out because it was such an expensive TV and that could damage the electronics.
I told him that if they kept the volume to a respectable level then I wouldn’t have to do anything about it, but I wouldn’t hesitate to if it happened again. The microwave/vacuum trick was only necessary a couple more times before they got the hint and kept the noise down in the middle of the night.”
33. Can't Fool Me, I Take Screenshots
“So, a bit of information before I start this post. I’m part of an online marketplace where you can buy and sell digital goods, ranging from game accounts, to gift cards, to in-game items, to basically whatever you can think of.
I used to make a large profit off of reselling gift cards, buying them off this website and reselling on others.
So it’s a pretty average day. I woke up, got on my computer, and had someone add me on Discord to sell me a $100 iTunes gift card. The guy wasn’t well-known on the marketplace, but he had a YouTube channel attached to his Discord that had over 10,000 subscribers.
His first videos were around 2 years before. I could tell that this guy had invested a lot into this channel, so I figured he wouldn’t scam me. So, foolishly, I went first. I sent him the $100 via PayPal. He proceeded to block me and try deleting the messages, not knowing that I always screenshot conversations. I also had screenshots of his Discord profile and his attached YouTube channel.
I was pangry, to say the least.
So, I commented on this scammer’s YouTube video asking why he scammed. He said, and I remember precisely, “You’re such a dummy kid thanks for the $100” and then proceeded to delete my comment.
What this did is basically send the reply into my notifications but it also didn’t show on his video. Sneaky. So now I knew for sure I had the right guy, he pretty much admitted it on his YouTube and he had it attached to his Discord, which requires someone to log into their channel to attach.
Next thing I did? Wrote a strongly worded email to YouTube support, and this included everything. From his channel to the Discord showing it was his, to all the messages, to his reply, literally every bit and piece of evidence I had. I didn’t really know if they could do anything about it, because I wasn’t aware of YouTube’s policies, but it actually ended up working.
YouTube, with all the proof they could need, actually terminated his channel.
Fast forward about a week or two after, I notice his channel is terminated, he unblocks me and sends me a friend request on Discord. Can you guess what I did? Declined. Never talked to him since, and to this day he’s still terminated.
Scam me for $100? Lose 2 years of work. That’s pro revenge.”
32. Neighbors Criticize Me For Being Single
“When I left college, moving back in with my folks just didn’t seem like the thing to do, but back then my significant other and I didn’t feel ready to move in together, even though we practically lived together.
So I found a flat to rent close to where she lived. It was a nice area with four in-block post-war council houses with generous gardens. Most had been bought by the tenants and as a result were well maintained by the owners; quiet, leafy suburbia.
The flat in question was leased to me by a middle-aged couple who had bought it for their elderly mother hoping to make a killing flipping it when she died. Granny would seem, helped them by apparently smoking herself to death but left them with a slight problem – they couldn’t sell the place so soon after buying it due to some loophole in the ‘buy your council flat’ scheme.
Old puffin’ grandma had ensured the interiors were yellower than the northern social club toilet. The décor was horrendous too. Lurid swirly carpets – and I do mean carpets plural, as I discovered when I decided to sand the floors – I lifted three carpets all on top of each other in the hall, I could limbo under the gap between door and floor.
But my new landlords kindly said if I wanted to strip out all the granny crap and redecorate they would pay for it – splendid!
The only blot on the horizon was the two chintzy, blue-rinsed old dragons that lived next door. They had been there for decades so their normality must have been shattered by the death of their neighbor who had lived there for donkey’s years.
I was sensitive to this and was as friendly and courteous as could be, but it wasn’t long before the barbed remarks began. One day I was in the back garden stripping 40 years’ worth of layered paint and nicotine off the doors – I had taken them off the hinges and removed the nasty plywood panels people were so keen on in the ’50s.
Obviously, this would meet with firm disapproval. So no real surprise when from the corner of my eye I caught a garish splash of floral polyester. They had a habit of appearing stealthily like some incontinent ninja brigade. They were standing silently, side by side, like a horribly shriveled version of the twins from The Shining. A few pleasantries were exchanged – then it came…
‘So you don’t work do you?’
‘Well no, I’ve just finished an honors degree and I am looking for a job in my field but there is a pretty major recession on.’
This was back in the early ’90s — it might not be the global crisis we’re in now but the UK was seriously goosed back then, nevertheless, I was immediately assigned as ‘workshy’.
But I continued to be cheery, cleared the overgrown gardens, lifted the hallucinogenic carpets, sanded the floors, and decorated the place from top to bottom – whilst also applying for jobs, you know – workshy. During which time they closely monitored my EVERY move. If I went into the back garden they would immediately appear, set up deck chairs, plonk themselves down, and knit with sustained and intense fury – never once taking their little beady eyes off me.
It started raining lightly one day so they simply moved the deckchairs into their shed – left the door open and continued the surveillance!
If I went out they were there at the window. Even if I returned in the dead of night with marshmallows strapped to my feet, in an instant they were at the curtains, like crumpled little lavender-fuelled rockets. Eventually, I found a job.
So they quickly turned their attention to my relationship with my significant other.
‘So you’re not married ARE YOU?’ they chimed in unison with their powdery bunched-up little faces.
The curtain twitching would go into a frenzy any time my girl arrived. It was a warm summer so I’d often have the barbecue on the go of an evening. But as soon as I lit the thing the same routine would begin: they would make a huge deal out of slamming all their windows shut then rush out to take in their washing tutting and muttering.
I should point out the washing that was about 40 feet away down their side of the garden and well upwind from my tiny barbeque.
At this point, they were still pretending to be civil towards us but it was simply a ploy to pump us for more information. We went away for the weekend once and when we returned there they were to ‘greet’ us.
‘Oh hi’ (little matching saccharine smiles) ‘been away have we?’
‘Yes nice weekend in a wee hotel up north’ (more scrunched up faces)
‘Did you leave in a hurry?’
‘Eh?’
‘In a hurry – on Friday? It’s just we noticed you didn’t do your dishes.’
The nosey old bats had been in my b****y back garden peering through my kitchen window!
‘We don’t see much of her (my significant other) during the week do we?’
My significant other worked away a lot during the week but in this, I spotted an opportunity for mischief…
‘Yes well she spends the weekends with me but during the week she lives with her husband… and the kids, nice bloke. Blackfella.’
Eyes like saucers!
Then one day they made some comment about hanging out laundry.
From what I could gather they had certain days for washing and somehow expected me to adhere to this bizarre ritual. This and the constant prying about my significant other gave me an idea.
The following day I waited till they toddled off to wherever the public hanging was that day. Then I hung my washing out, sat in the garden, lit the barbecue, opened a beer, and waited for their return.
I even took my shirt off for good measure. It was at this point I really wished I had some tattoos. Soon enough I heard their respective front doors slam, counted to 5, and turned around – sure enough there they were peering out their windows. Clearly, they couldn’t get a close enough look from there so out came the deckchairs.
They sat in complete silence staring at the spectacle of my laundry billowing in the summer breeze.
Next to my usual array of jeans and shirts I had hung some of my significant other’s laundry items. With considerable skill, I had carefully pegged one of her laciest prettiest bras to the line. Then below the bra (with some clever use of pegs) hung a matching suspender belt which in turn supported a tiny wispy little pair of undergarments and of course a pair of sheer lacy-topped black stockings that waved lazily in the breeze, like a very thin lady running in slow motion.
‘Hi, ladies, lovely day!’ I waved cheerily.
If they could have pursued their little faces up any more they’d have turned them inside out. Vicious old bats.
Then, things escalated considerably.
The wispy apparition of th Lady of the Line obviously represented a sort of lace-trimmed gauntlet to the old bats. Stalls had been set out, battle lines drawn. This first became evident when they started to mow further and further into my lawn.
The old biddies were quite literally cutting my grass. They always conspired together, frantically rushing around the garden in tartan slippers, always at dusk – one mowing, one cable bashing. I’m not a petty man; well I am actually so clearly this was going to escalate.
The garden had a white slatted fence about 6 feet high at the division point of the properties, but this barely extended onto the back lawn – 20 feet at most – whereas the lawn stretched a good 50 or more feet further off into the distance.
To make matters worse my side was an end-terrace so I had another large garden area and parking for three cars at the side of my place. They had no such luxury, so this was probably an issue of hot contention for them too, even though neither of them had cars.
The wonky line that veered further into my lawn, now twice a week during the height of summer, was getting on my nerves.
Then plastic bottles filled with water started appearing everywhere. I had to ask – to which I was informed with the sort of confident air in such matters that only David Attenborough should have access to…
‘The bottles keep YOUR cats out of our garden’
‘Eh?’
‘Their reflection, it scares them off’
‘Does it really? How ingenious!’
I said this while casually observing over her shoulder my tortoiseshell moggie Chloe.
She was lying on her back in a distinctly louche manner lazily prodding one of the plastic bottles. I had also at one stage witnessed one of the old trouts propping up a few house bricks against the rickety old stick and wire fence at the far end of the garden. It was only about two and a half feet high. On further inquiry I was informed (incredulously, as though I was an utter cretin):
‘It keeps cats out – cats are too lazy to climb fences’
But it was the lawn thing that really peed on my pizza. So one Saturday morning, courtesy of HSS Hire, the sort of ubermower that Wembley groundskeepers have pictures of, taped inside their lockers, arrived on a trailer. One very noisy hour later the lawn was like a pinstripe Savile Row suit specified in lurid green.
I knew however the wine from this sweet victory would soon run dry. So the following weekend they were in for another little surprise.
If you ever need to put up a fence really fast – then I suggest you check out these things that just spike straight into the ground with a heavy hammer EasyGrip Post Spike 100 x 100 x 600mm
When the bloke arrived from B&Q to deliver my order I got him to leave the posts, 16-pound sledgehammer, fence panels, clips, and other related paraphernalia stacked up ominously in the back garden.
Then I went out for a beer.
By the time I came back, they were out on the deckchairs perched on the vehemently disputed border, knitting – knitting long polymer strands of pure black clicking hatred. An empty crisp packet blew across the garden like tumbleweed. A lone crow mocked the scene from its gallery on the rooftops. I stubbed my smoke onto the lawn, dead on the borderline.
Grinding it in with my foot I squinted into the sunlight and snarled…
‘Can’t hang around ladies, things to do’
Whang – the first metal post spike pierced the lawn and plunged into the soft black loam like a javelin through a badly coordinated Olympic official. It was like pushing candles into a birthday cake. A few taps on the wooden post with the sledgehammer, a couple of clips here and there, and lo!
In the first birch lap, the pressure-treated panel was up. At 6 foot it was considerably taller than me, and these old bints were struggling to hit 5 feet in two pairs of support hose. And there it was, a magnificent all-seeing Pagan monolith draping its cold malevolent shadow deep into their chintzy territory.
They went absolutely, vein-popping, intensely mental. Literally running in and out of their flats, shouting insults from upper windows.
‘You can’t do that, this is private property’ one shrieked.
‘Yes it is, and this half is mine’ I smiled sweetly.
‘You don’t own it; I’m phoning Mrs. Cantremeberhername (my landlady).’
‘No need, I have in writing from her that she approves of the fence; would you care to see?’.
‘You need planning permission
‘I don’t’
‘You do’
‘I don’t – it is classed a temporary structure, and is less than 7 feet in height, therefore I don’t need permission from anyone except the landowner – which I have’
‘It’s on the wrong boundary’
‘Not according to this copy of the deeds (flip, flap, unfold) – care to see? In fact, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but that part of the end of the garden is also actually mine – right up to the back fence’
She was apoplectic by this point – the bit at the bottom of the garden was her favorite spot for deckchair surveillance – it actually looked into my living room.
Then her son arrived.
‘Tell him, Malcolm, TELL HIM’
I explained the situation to the clearly long-suffering bloke. He apologized and gave me his number in case I needed it. Then smiled weakly as he tried to assure his raging mother it was not a police matter and I was not deliberately destroying the value of her property. So I continued to put the line of fence panels up at an impressive rate.
The mad old witch now had to be physically held back by her son. Then the other old bint who had been quieter up till now suddenly opened her upper window and screamed…
‘You’re not even married it’s disgusting’
‘Why don’t we elope?’ I suggested. ‘Blue hair really does it for me?’
As the last panel went up I stood back and took stock.
Just as I was about to pop another beer I heard a clattering from one of the mad old bat’s garden shed. Then perched on ancient stepladders, craning and wobbling awkwardly around the last panel, I saw a frazzled mop of blue hair attached to an alarmingly purple face glaring around the fence – so far down the garden, I struggled at first to see which poisonous harridan was there screeching the now immortal line…
‘I can still SEE you you know! I can still SEE….’
I can only assume at that point the ramifications of a person of advancing years clambering onto an antique ladder suddenly became distinctly apparent to the old boot.”
31. The Perfect Revenge That Helps Charity And Gives This Guy His Just Deserts
“It was back in my Navy days. Back in the Navy, I was in the aviation department, attached to a carrier. There was this one guy in another shop, a first-class Petty Officer, so basically untouchable by someone like me in the lower ranks.
Now, I could very well have risen higher in rank as I never partied, never did anything troubling things. I was, am, and almost always will be a fairly polite and well-behaved man. But unfortunately in this command, you basically need DSLs to get rank. You military folks should know what those are. But as polite as I am, I HATE sucking up to people I find petty.
So unfortunately I never made rank… ever. So there was a 0% chance of closing the gap between me and this other guy.
Now, I am a tad religious, and one of the things I did when I was in the Navy was throwing a small portion of my money into a Tithe account for charities, over the years that account can get kinda fat. This is an important fact, remember it for later.
Now, this first-class, let’s just call him Polly. Textbook jerk. Physically fit, throws people under the bus at every chance, always tan, shows everyone his abs in random conversation (seriously, he unironically did this regularly) I’ve never seen him without his designer sunglasses on, and he had a sleeve tattoo of flames over one of his arms. Never did any work or supervising, the ONLY thing he did as everyone worked away is brag about all the women he’d been with in the last port.
Now, normally I just ignore people I don’t like. But as he was about doing his thing I guess he had some self-confidence issues or whatever as he started to mess with me. Now one of the things that is annoying as heck is it’s always the short ones who try and pick a fight with the tall guy. I’m six-seven, and I don’t quite know why… but I guess he needed to prove something.
So, as I was getting ready for the night shift, he strolled by and just started saying everything he could to try and anger me. I ignored him but later on other days he would flinch at me like if he was going to take a swing. He would try and publicly embarrass me and one day he went a little too far. As I can’t quite prove it was him, but I found used toilet paper in my bunk.
Later he would speak loudly of how untouchable he was when I was around, that he knew people and would get anyone who hit him dishonorably discharged in a snap. And as fun as it would have been to put him in his place physically, I prefer to do things in a way that can’t come back to bite me in the butt.
So, it wasn’t until we pulled in and he was just a few days from leaving the command to another.
I was close to my four years being up so I wouldn’t really get a chance. Then this event started. Now, the funny thing about Tithe money is you have to give it to religious causes or to help someone other than yourself, and our command had an interesting fundraiser.
You could donate money to an orphan’s Christmas party or something like that, but the amount of money donated would go towards a name.
And the top twenty names no matter their rank or position would work the galley for the weekend. Now, this is a lot worse than you think… sure cleaning dishes kinda sucks… but he had such EXTREME pride and an ego a mile wide, but not only that… everyone else that the whole ship hates is also working with him, this is also important for later…
So I donate towards his name. Now the day comes to count up the names and money, they announced the names, how many people voted, and how much money was made.
Third place was some chief in airframes, he had about twelve people who collectively put two hundred dollars on him. Second place was the third class from the reactor, over twenty people donated against him getting around 500 dollars.
Now… first place. Petty officer Polly, one donor… two thousand dollars.
I was going to put all that money into a worthy charity just like it, but… this was good.
The children got a good Christmas party, and the most stuck-up prideful “untouchable” Petty officer in the navy got recognized as the most hated Petty Officer on the ship, and I lost nothing. I was literally going to do something exactly like that with the money already.
Now, you might say “so what… a little tap on his pride and cleaning dishes?” Lol… noooooo. He was in there with the other 19 most hated Petty officers, chiefs, and officers on the ship, do you know what that means?
Every single tray on a ship with 5,000 sailors was filled to the brim with either the most disgusting or the most difficult stuff possible. Usually just filled, smothered, and encrusted with peanut butter, which had to be cleaned off by hand before being put into the dishwasher.
Now the fun part they didn’t tell us; The higher you were on the list, the less desirable position you got. So when I turned in my peanut butter-covered tray which a friend of mine generously puked onto for good measure, I got to smile at Petty Officer Polly elbows deep in the sink with the broken garbage disposal, scraping the crap off everyone’s plates.
With the awful setup he had… he basically marinated in that at 100% humidity for 16 hours a day over the weekend.
And I might add that many of us decided we needed seconds on breakfast, lunch, and dinner… sometimes thirds. Mostly for peanut butter and whatever my friends would be willing to vomit up onto my plate.
Thankfully, we pulled into port pretty soon after that and he never really learned that I was the one to put two thousand dollars on him.
I was tempted to tell him just so he would try and get some physical revenge off of base. But I knew he would cry to his supervisors and testify against me if I kicked his poop in, even in self-defense.
But yes, I will always fondly remember the tale of Petty Officer Polly, the biggest jerk and piece of poop in the navy.”
30. Neighbor's Garage Got Flooded By Illegal Plumbing
“When we bought our house it became obvious rather quickly that we had a problem neighbor. Her property abutted ours at the back fence and she would throw her trash over onto our property. I asked her politely to stop to no avail.
She had also plumbed her washing machine from the garage through PVC piping that ran under our fence and over our property. Once again there was no reasoning with her as she told me she had lived in her house for over 20 years and we would just have to put up with it. Yes, I know I could have called the city to get it stopped but didn’t want to start an outright war in our new neighborhood.
I got myself a long 2×2 and three lovely large Idaho potatoes and rammed them way up that drainage pipe. We all know what happens to potatoes in a dark, damp environment and I didn’t have to wait too long to know if my rather mean solution worked.
The neighbor next door to her that was friendly towards me stopped to chat one day.
He said, ‘Poor Carol, her washing machine backed up and flooded her garage and when she called a plumber he told her it had been plumbed illegally and he had to replumb up to code; it cost her a lot.’ ‘Oh what a shame,’ said I and really had no guilt, or no more problems with her either.”
29. I Have Spies Around The Office
“I was working at a startup company in the Silly Con Valley.
Yes, so many startups back then were just silly cons, in my humble opinion. During the dot com boom, it was very difficult to find good people to hire and even more difficult to retain them since there were a lot of very well-funded startups throwing tons of stock options at potential employees. In my first six months on the job, I filled all 40 open positions in my department, which was amazing when the labor market was so tight.
Over the year that followed, my department’s attrition rate was zero. Not a single person left, despite the tempting outside offers, because I treated them with respect, making sure they were constantly enrolled in training courses to make them even better at their jobs, I only constructively criticized people in private, and I made a point of recognizing everyone’s accomplishments very publicly. My department was fiercely loyal to me and the company and we shone brightly.
Another department manager said it was well known throughout the company that my department was ‘the shining gem at the heart of the company.’ Not bragging here, but the point is that my performance and the performance of my team were outstanding, which will be important in the next paragraph. Okay, maybe bragging a little, but we really did kick but and there was no excuse for what the CEO did to me/us.
The company was run by a CEO who had no people skills and he tended to hire people into his inner circle who were narcissistic sociopaths, like him. One of these lovely and charming miscreants eyed my department with envy and immediately after being hired, he began to challenge me and attempt to embarrass me or insult me publicly, much to the delight of the CEO, who was uncomfortable with someone on his team managing differently than he did (treating people with respect, versus ruling through threats and intimidation) and being so successful.
I think it also made him uncomfortable that although my department was very loyal to the company, they were even more loyal to me. So the CEO egged on this miscreant; let’s call him ‘Michael’.
Shortly before the company was set to IPO and my shares were likely to be valued at $1.8M, the CEO announced a reorganization which put Michael as my boss, between me and the CEO.
It was an absurd move, the sole purpose of which was to make my life miserable. I think the CEO was convinced that I’d have no choice but to stick around and be tortured if I wanted those stock options to be worth anything, but happiness is much more important to me than money, so I quit right on the spot. Everyone was shocked.
My team frantically begged me to stay so they wouldn’t have to deal with Michael, but I explained to them that whether I stayed or not, they were going to have to deal with Michael if they stayed at the company. Within a month, over half of the 40 people on my team defected to our largest competitor, whose IPO actually did make some folks rich.
As for our company, after having lost so many good people and under the brilliant leadership of Michael and the CEO, our IPO was canceled and the company died a long, slow death.
If that were the revenge part, that would be a boring story. Maybe it is anyway. But here’s where it gets kind of fun. Michael was a womanizer. A married womanizer.
I knew a woman whose best friend started going out with him, without her realizing who the guy really was. So I asked to speak with her. I asked her, ‘What did Michael tell you his marital status is?’ She said, ‘He told me he’s divorced.’ I corrected that notion, ‘Nope, he’s separated.’ Next, I asked, ‘How many children did Michael tell you he has?’ She said, ‘Michael doesn’t have any children.’ I corrected her again, ‘Nope, he’s got six kids.’ Finally, I said, ‘How old did Michael tell you he is?’ Aghast at what she’d heard already, she replied, ‘Michael told me he’s 40.’ I replied, ‘Nope, he’s 50.’ Then I told her what he’d done to me and others at the company.
Well, my remaining spies in the company told me that Michael was moping around the office, looking like he was ready to cry for weeks after that incident. So I asked them why he was so forlorn? ‘Because this smart, kind, beautiful woman that he wanted to marry broke off their relationship without explanation.’ Michael had no idea that anyone had spoken to his girl and was truly baffled that she just ghosted him after that.
Now here’s the even more fun part. In a few weeks, that startup company is holding a 20-year reunion, and guess who’s going to be there? Yep, Michael. I’m planning on waiting until he’s holding court in front of a lot of people, and I’m going to walk right up to him, interrupt him (as he loved to do to me), and let him know that it was me who told her the truth about him.
I cannot wait to see the look on his face. It’s going to be hard to contain my glee.
Kind of hoping he takes a swing at me. I’d love for him to wake up in jail…”
28. You Should Understand That "No" Means "No"
“In middle school, I thought I had this friend who was truly a friend.
Obviously, he turned out not to be. For the sake of attention and to be considered the class clown, he picked on me. At first, it was a shock since we were friends, but I soon became almost a daily target. In front of the class, he would speak of how ugly I was, my speech impediment (lisp), and comment on my body. Ya, ouch.
I was only 14 and I had a guy comment about and how my body should be. Absolutely traumatizing. Once I told him to shut up in front of everyone and called him fat, ya go me, 14-year-old me knew best. He replied saying at least I don’t have a mustache like you. That mustache was just hyperpigmentation that I had developed out of the blue on my upper lip.
It was a low blow as he latched onto my newest insecurity. What’s worse was that I knew then I was ugly and I believed it as he confirmed it constantly.
Fast forward to the beginning of college, I get a message from this guy. I hadn’t spoken to him since 8th grade and here he is, sliding into my DMs. He immediately spoke of how much I have changed and how pretty I look in my pictures.
I knew where this was heading. He asked for pictures of me. Yeah, a big fat no loser. He asked what was the problem in sending pictures and I said I know what you were talking about so no. It was as if he revered himself as some sort of God and thought I would pay heed to his words and submit. Honestly, what was he on?
Anyway, I told him off and again, he asked. Crazy right? I told him a no is a no but he didn’t understand from that. Knowing that I still had to speak to him in his own language, I mean I spent like 5 years rehearsing a comeback then in 8th grade, I stated that I wasn’t interested in him and that he’s not my type at all.
I have standards and self-respect for myself.”
27. I Told The Truth About His Trustworthiness
“I was the manager of an advertising sales team at a radio station. We used to get comped double passes to concerts and events all the time. One of my sales guys, Paul, organized a guest list for a big UK DJ at the biggest club in the city.
At the pre-drinks, I noticed he was with someone new, way out of his league btw, and she ended up third-wheeling to the club with him.
When we got there, there was a massive queue at the door and my wife and I were back in the queue when Paul got to the front. I see the door-witch (sorry, that’s what we called them) shaking her head and explaining to him why his 3rd wheel wasn’t rolling on in. Then I saw him lean in, the point at the list, and I lip-read him saying my name.
Obviously, he didn’t know I had seen him but I reached the front 2 minutes later and said my name and she says. ‘Ummm… he’s already gone in’. I had my license ready and said ‘No, I haven’t’.
Before she went any further I said ‘Don’t worry, I saw what happened. I can make him pay for that – I’m his boss!’
The next day, I confronted him and he first starts to deny it – ‘Wha….?
I can’t bel-…’
‘Mate, I was standing right there when you shafted me!’ I cut him off.
He started to apologize, but I admitted that I didn’t care that much because I wasn’t really in the mood that night, but he wasn’t to know that – forgiven, not forgotten.
3 years later, I heard he lost his job for selling himself radio ads at a rate below the average, and he lists me as a referee on his resumé.
I gave him a lukewarm phone reference and then the interviewer asks ‘Would you say Paul is an honest person?’
Well, my response was ‘I couldn’t honestly say that, no.’
She said, ‘Can you think of anything specific as to why you might not say that?’
I said ‘I was the manager of an advertising sales team at a radio station. We used to get comped double passes to concerts and events all the time…’”
26. I Changed His Auto-Correct Dictionary
“I manage IT for a CPA firm. One day, I was in the server room, intent on performing some task or other. It was loud in the small room due to computer fans and an in-room air conditioner. One of my users was looking for me and sidled quietly up behind me and said my name right next to my ear!
I was startled and exclaimed and jumped in surprise, which he thought was very funny.
I could see the humor in it especially being someone who has been on the giving end of such scares. I laughed along with him but vowed my revenge, saying, “just you wait!”
Some weeks later said user was out of the office for training, which I discovered while needing to do some routine maintenance on his PC. Sensing my opportunity, I proceeded to open Microsoft Word and make some strategic changes to his auto-correct dictionary.
He and I reported to a mutual boss named Jake, so I changed ‘Jake’ to ‘El Jefe’ in auto-correct. I changed my name to ‘Computer God’ and changed a few random accounting terms to other, um, more colorful words.
It took a while for my revenge to come to fruition, but he eventually stopped by my office and admitted, ‘you got me.’ We shared a laugh and he confessed he had once played a similar prank on his cube mate.
Ahhh, office humor.”
25. People Know I Grew The Lung Cell
“During the first week of my graduate school experience in Albuquerque, a biochemist at the company where I would be doing my research told me about his own research.
He was trying to find a way to isolate a certain type of lung cell.
My own supervisor got offered a job in Washington, DC. After he left, I struggled to get my bearings but did not succeed.
Before the school year had ended, I learned that I would no longer be in that graduate program. I had to look for a source of income.
I found a job at the University of New Mexico.
A researcher at the University had the same dream as the biochemist that had spoken to me earlier. He wanted to isolate that one particular type of lung cell; he also wanted to grow it in culture.
He had purchased a special machine, which he thought would help him achieve his purpose. I had used the same machine when I was working on my MS degree.
That was why he hired me. Later I told a graduate student that had remained in my old program about my successful efforts to isolate and grow that one type of lung cell. I am sure that she told others in the facility that had rejected me.”
24. Be A Mean Girl In School And I'll Be A Mean Girl In Corporate
“So to set the background. When I was in kindergarten there was one girl and her friends who thought it would be funny to be mean to most of the other kids. Because I grew up in a small town it happened to be my luck that she went to the same primary school: Being mean escalated to mild bullying.
Middle school: Mild bullying turns into real bullying. In high school and she and her friends do their best to make sure that I won’t have any friends and everybody thinks bad about me.
To describe a specific incident: For prom, we have a finance team. The goal is to earn as much money as possible to make Prom as inexpensive for everyone. Now it is a pretty intense job to keep a whole grade in line to try to earn money.
We have a theater attached to the school which is owned by the city and we are allowed to raise money by selling pretzels and drinks. We only have to set up a contract with the city. Now at first, I was the only person who volunteered to be on the committee because as I said: It’s a crappy job but necessary.
The city on the other hand demanded that two persons out of every class be in the committee.
In come my bullies. So the next year I try to raise as much money as possible and try to get as many people as possible to help me (one shift in the kiosk required 5 people) while those girls try their best to get people worked up against me and make me into the bad mean witch. So yeah thanks to them, my whole school time was a nightmare and even my attempts to raise money for prom were undercut by those girls.
Now, forward 7 years. I still have big trust issues thanks to the bullying but managed to get a pretty high position in a big company.
So I live in a small country. The field I work in is also very small. So especially in the higher ranks, we know each other and even though being in competition, are often friends/acquaintances.
So last month big bully girl walks by my office.
I greet her as nicely as I can and we have small talk. She tells me that she and her best friend (also one of my bullies) work in the same field as me and are now trying to get a job at my company. Seeing that I am the manager of the whole creative department of “big company,” her eyes light up and she asks if I could help her and her friend because we were such good friends in high school.
Yeah sure…
Now because I am the manager in the department, I have a say in who I want on my team. Knowing those girls and how they try to get through life by manipulating others, I chose to not take them on. Then I remembered how they made my first whole first 20 years a living nightmare, so I decide that this is not enough.
As I said, I know a lot of people working in my field in my country pretty well.I start to talk to a good friend of mine at another company about the two bullies. She talks to friends of hers and so on and so on.
Yesterday was a conference where I saw some of my colleagues. We chatted and they told me that the two bully girls had applied for a job at f other companies and all of them declined the girls!
Because we work in the creative field, having bullies on your team really brings down the working progress.
Plus, there are only so many companies where I live, so I’m pretty sure these girls won’t get a job in this country.
So yeah, don’ bully in high school, because you might forget what you did but the person who you bullied won’t… Good luck finding a job now…”
23. Throw Me Impossible Tasks? I'll Develop And Code It Better Than You Ever Thought
“After leaving 6th form (college for my family over the pond), I started a job as a Full Stack Java Developer for a small company in the city I currently reside, study, and work (more on that later). For those not in the know, a “Full Stack” Developer, is someone that develops the application/website that controls an application, the middleware “brain”, and the back-end, usually a Database of some kind.
In the contract, it stated that “All development projects developed within Notarealcompany’s offices are the sole property of the company”. I was new to the scene and assumed this was the norm (turns out it is – Important later).
My “Training” was minimalistic, and expectations were insanely high. I was placed on a client project within the first month and was told that this was to be a trial by fire.
Oh boy.
Having spoken to the client, their expectations had already been set by the owner; let’s call him Berk (Berk is an English term for moron); “Whatever you need, our developers can accommodate”. Their requirements were as follows;
- The Intranet software MUST match the production, public site in functionality, including JQuery and other technologies I was unfamiliar with
- MUST accommodate their inventory and shipping database, including prior version functionality (which included loading a 400k+ database table into a webpage in one shot)
- MUST look seamless on ALL internal assets, regardless of browser (THIS is important)
- ABSOLUTELY MUST USE THE STRONGEST SECURITY MONEY CAN BUY (without requiring external sources)
Having asked what the oldest machine on their network was, I realized it was a nightmare given form. They wanted advanced web toys to work on WINDOWS XP SP1 (which did not, and does not, support HTML5, let alone the version of JavaScript/JQuery the main website does).
I was given a timeline of 2 months to build this by the client, who was already under the impression that all would be ok.
Having spent a few days researching and prototyping, it was clear that their laundry list of demands was impossible. I told them in plenty of time, providing evidence, and using their “golden images”. The website looked clunky, the database loader crashed the entire machine, the JavaScript flat-out refused to work.
Needless to say, they weren’t happy. I was ordered to fix the issue, or “my butt is out on the street”.
Spending every waking moment outside of work, I build something that, still to this day, I am insanely proud of. The Database was built robust; built to British and German security standards around Information Security. The Password management system was NUKE-proof (I calculated it would take until the Sun died to crack a single password), and managed to get the Database to load into the page flawlessly, using “pagination”, the same technology Amazon uses to slide through pages, and AJAX (not important; my fellow devs will know).
I managed to get the project completed a DAY before the deadline. Gave the customer a deadline, and plugged their live data into it. Everything worked fine, BUT, their DB had multiple duplicate records, with no way to filter through them. I told them that I could fix this issue with a 100% success rate, and would build dupe-protection into the software (it was easy); without losing pertinent information.
The SQL script was dirty, but functional.
Shortly after completing the project, I was told it was “too slow”. Now bear in mind; the longest action took 0.0023 of a second; EVEN ON XP. Nevertheless, I built it faster, giving benchmarking data for the before and after (only 0.0001 of a seconds improvement).
Shortly after, I was told to pack my “crap”, as I’d failed my peer review.
Because I’d built the software outside of work, on my own time, on my own devices; they had no rights over it, as the only version they saw were the second-to-last, and final commits from my private Github.
Shortly after leaving, I’m served papers, summoning me to court for “corporate espionage.” Wait, WHAT?
Turned up to court with all relevant documents, a copy of my development system on an ISO for evidence, and a court-issued solicitor.
Their claim was that I’d purposely engineered the application to be insecure, causing their client to be hacked, losing an inordinate amount of money. They presented the source code as “evidence”, citing that the password functionality for the management interface was using MD5 (you can google an MD5 hash and find out what it is.
I show the court the source code I have from the final version (which had only been altered once within work premises to improve speed and provide benchmarking information).
They then accuse me of theft, despite showing IP-trace information from Git, the commit hashes from Github, correlating with my PC, and all the time logs from editing and committing (all out of hours).
To cut an already long story short; I got a payout for defamation of character and time wasted, they paid all the court costs and was let go with the summons removed from my record.
The story doesn’t end there though…
Currently, I am doing a Degree in Information Security, and working for a Managed Service Provider for security products and monitoring. I was asked to do a site visit and perform;
- Full “Black Box” Penetration Test (I’m given no knowledge on the network to be attacked, and can use almost any means to gain access)
- Full Compliance test for PCI DSS (Payment card industry for Debit/Credit payments)
- GDPR (Information storage and management)
- ISO 27001 FULL audit
All in all, this is a very highly paid job. Sat in the car park with a laptop, I gained FULL ADMIN ACCESS within about 20 minutes, cloned the access cards to my phone over the air, and locked their systems down (all within the contract). Leaving for the day, I compile a report with pure glee. Their contract with us stipulates that the analyst on-site would remain to remediate any and all issues, would have total jurisdiction over the network whilst on the job and would return 6 months later for further assessment and remedy, and all issues persistent or new.
The report put the company on blast; outlining every single fault, every blind spot, and provided evidence of the previous compromise. The total cost of repairs was more than the company was willing to pay (they were able, I saw the finances after all). The company went into liquidation, but not before trying to have me fired for having a prior vendetta. The legal team for my current employers not-so-politely tore them to shreds, suing for defamation of character (sounds familiar right?), forcing them to liquidate even more assets than they intended; ultimately costing them their second home.
TL;DR: Got a job, got told I was fired after doing an exemplary job; then had the company liquidated due to MANY flaws when working for their security contractors.”
22. I Snitched Her To Her Parents Though A Phone Call
“This was before the days of caller id when prank calls could still be made with impunity. I attended vocational high school and was in the Medical Assisting program, which meant I had a half-day of academics, and then 3 1/2 hours of learning medical knowledge: anatomy, pathology, hands-on clinical work, etc. so that I would receive my Medical Assisting license when I graduated. So I learned all about b***d tests for various conditions.
Well, there was a girl at school who was very arrogant, very stuck up, and also very pretty. She was a cheerleader. I could have dealt with all of the insecurity arising in me from sitting near her in class, but I had a hard time dealing with her constantly making fun of me. This occurred before I ‘blossomed’, so to speak, and I was a late bloomer.
I was short, skinny, flatchested, and had thick glasses: an uber-nerd. Her goal in life was to get points with her friends by putting out little sarcastic one-liners which were putdowns about me. Did I mention that she was also easy, and had a reputation? That is key to the story.
So, I got my revenge by cutting school one afternoon, and calling her house, when I knew her mother would be home.
I asked to speak to her, and of course, her mother said she was at school. So, with my voice disguised, and sounding quite like an official nurse, I said, ‘This is Mrs. Price from the Venereal Disease Research Laboratory. I’m just calling to let her know that unfortunately, her test did come back positive’, and then hung up and laughed with my friend for a half hour.
I picked this name because there was a venereal disease test then called the VDRL, so it was quite real and convincing.
Back then, it wasn’t like now; if you were intimately active you swore your friends to secrecy and your man because if it got out, there would be no end to the comments, your name is written on the walls in the men’s room, etc. And as for parents, let’s not even go there!
So the result, the girl, we’ll call her Ann, was not in school the next day. When she returned, she looked extremely subdued. The air had definitely been let out of her balloon. Her social activities were curtailed and her parents were watching her like a hawk. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer girl, really.”
21. Park Where You're Not Invited? Dad Has A Solution For That
“So as I watch the snow fall outside, I’m brought back to an old memory.
Back in the day my dad was a fan of buying things that… well, we never would need under any feasible circumstance: life jackets, katanas, etc. One year, he had bought a snowblower, and largely it went unused due to the fact that… well, there wasn’t exactly anywhere/room for the snow to be blown to.
However, during one bad snowstorm, it found its use. Someone, I assume one of our jerk neighbors, decides to park into our driveway, leaving their car there. This left my dad’s cars stranded in the streets, so my dad decided if they wanted the spot so badly, they could stay there.
Now, being kiddo, I didn’t really question why there was a massive snow pile blocking the driveway or why my dad wasn’t getting rid of it (he was a vicious, paranoid jerk, so I also wisely kept my mouth shut).
Cut to several weeks later where I get to see essentially a cross-section of the snow pile, and the poor’s car window had apparently broken in due to the weight of the pile (Imagine a ~6ft person, the pile was a head or so taller) and filled with snow.
As you can imagine, no one else ever parked there.”
20. I Took The Groomsmen With Me
“When I got married, my Best Man (and best friend) had all my groomsmen riding with him. He decided they should go to a bar first and was late for the ceremony. Literally walking in the backdoor, hitting the bathroom, and going straight to the altar at the last minute.
Several years later he got married and I was to be his Best Man. At the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding he told me his fiance had decided her brother should be his Best Man so I was out.
The next day I made sure all the groomsmen rode with me. The ceremony had already started when we arrived, walked down the aisle, and took our places!”
19. Ex-Husband Doesn't Change His M.O.
“I was with a guy for 1 and a half months, we used to work together so I used to see him nearly every day. So after the 6 weeks, we were together he broke up with me, not in person but over our work emails while I worked on a reception during the busiest hour of the day on the 1st of December.
Now in February, I had a girl (who we both worked with, I’ll call her ‘E’) come up to me at work and ask ‘would you mind if I date J?’ I said I didn’t mind and it was up to her if she wanted to date him.
I went back in and spoke to a female colleague I was close to and explained what happened, she then told me that J had tried it on with her while I was going out with him and she turned him down.
I later found out that the girl that came to me in February had been sleeping with J for the entirety of my relationship with him, while she was married and living with her now ex-husband and the ex-husband found out and beat the crap out of him.
That was the first time karma got him.
The second time karma got him? My mom works in a different department, so everyone saw me as a kind of daughter. All the other blokes a work protected me since I’d known them since I was a teenager. Everyone talked down to J and treated him poorly. The best karma that happened to E was nearly 2 years after she got into the relationship with J – he did the same thing to her that he did to me.”
18. He Got Divorced Through A Letter
“Was very much in love with a guy I’d met 2 years after I’d divorced my spouse of 23 years. I’d actually begun to slowly move in with him (glad I stayed cautious). He had a back injury and couldn’t work full time. He’s an excellent bass guitarist on disability as his income. I came to his house to spend the night like I’d been doing for 2-3 months to find a somewhat familiar truck in the driveway.
I unlocked the kitchen door and called his name. He answered from the bedroom where he’d spent the afternoon in bed with his former partner.
Shortly after this happened, I began to move my belongings back to my apartment (took a couple of days – he never noticed) then sat with him at supper one night to tell him I was leaving/breaking up with him.
About 2 years later I’d heard through the ‘g*******e’ he’d married. I’m guessing maybe 6-8 months later he called one night, I let the call go to voice mail, he left the message the woman he married had let him know by a letter she was divorcing him… In my honest opinion, justice well served…”
17. I Cut My Siblings Off My Life
“So I grew up with two sisters, one older, one younger, and an older brother.
Our dad left us for a woman and started his own family. My mum was a very passive and kind woman and my dad used to mistreat her and cause her a shift in mental state.
She became angry easily and became distracted from domestic issues.
We decided to leave our mum alone because we didn’t want to give her a stress overload.
This is where everything turned, I suffered from anorexia from the age of 5 to age 12 because I was scared of food and I found everything disgusting; my mum tried everything she could. At this time I was 11. My older siblings began to bully me and called me foul words.
They made fun of my image and called me fat and made fun of my cheeks for having more fat than the rest of my body other than the fact that there was barely any fat in any other part of my body.
I brushed it off for the first couple of days but it became a daily thing, it eventually became physical with my older sister.
She pulled my hair, would try to start fights, and emotionally/verbally mistreat me. They soon began to teach our 6 years old sister to call me by a nickname that would haunt me for the rest of my middle/primary school years.
I was the lightest of all of my siblings (taking from my mum) so they decided to call me an idiot or say I was adopted or an accident.
They would tease me, this soon lead me to losing any love I had for them. I had hate in my veins, I hated everyone, my family, friends, and everyone else. I wanted to see them in pain.
They both began causing trouble for my mum, stealing, parties, and dropping out of school. It made my mum depressed and she gave up on taking care of us.
I had hate in my b***d and was filled with pleasure imagining my mum kicking them out and me taking their stuff, after all, I lost all love for them.
After a year my mum kicked them both out after long planning and persuading, as planned and I again have my mental state restored to a certain degree, they mentally damaged me and now I am built with wrath and am revengeful because of them.
My little sister is out of their reach and now is 9 and loves me like a second mum.
They occasionally call and try to play the victim card and lust for forgiveness but I avoid them. I don’t want such toxic people in my life even though they are my siblings. I just want them to learn and then I’ll give them a shot but my image of them will never change.”
16. New Worker Got Fired The Same Day
“I was twelve at the time.
My mom took me with her to her job on the set of one of the first skate films. Since I couldn’t skate I just hung around the park and read magazines the photographer gave me. So on the second day there, I walk back to my mum’s car when one of the local skater kids who were hired as an extra comes to me and tells me to give him the magazine and my wallet.
I tell him no and kindly ask him to go screw himself. He swings at me and misses. I had been in judo lessons since I was 6 so I floor him and hold him down. His mates come out and start making fun of him. I keep him pinned to the ground until they tell me it’s ok. I’ve made my point, let him go and it’s over.
So I let him go and continue my walk to the car. The next day I’m smart enough to not wander away from the set. Until some guy approaches me and asks me to follow him. Being the idiot I am, I do. We walk in between the trees and yes there he is the guy from yesterday, Sam. I’m thinking he wants some more so I get ready to fight.
At that moment, I see some other guys appearing from in between the trees and a fist coming to my face. The next thing I know is that everything hurts and a sound guy from the crew is bringing me to my mother. We leave that night having finished filming there.
Fast forward 20 years
I’m a foreman in a small factory in the same town where they shot the film.
Never really gave it any thought cause I lived in the big city nearby and just commuted in and out every day without ever visiting the town center. One day, the boss comes down to bring me two new workers. I try to fit them in but they are both stubborn rednecks with bad personal hygiene. After a few days, the first one gets fired because he refuses to wash his hands.
I get the second one to try and get him on the right track. Sam, as he is called, starts by scratching my new molds almost killing our Gelcoat sprayer and messing up production. The next thing he does is brag about how he is a movie star cause he played in a skate movie 20 years ago. Ding goes my bell. It’s him!
Went up to the office explained everything and asked the boss politely.
And he was out the door that same day for grave misconduct, no right to unemployment and no pay other than the days he worked for us.”
15. Ex-Friend Sneaks Around With Different Men
“So this was way back in high school but I had moved schools in middle school and joined this group of friends, one girl in the group and I hit it off and were very close. I helped her get out of a couple of very terrible relationships over the years. Then I started going out with a guy in the group in my freshman to sophomore year.
At some point, after about a year and a half, we decided that we really never were ‘together’ we were just great friends who slept together so we ‘broke up’ and went back to being friends. We decided to still hook up until one of us got into another relationship.
Anyway, we are about a year into this agreement when he told me we had to stop and I was happy to.
Then they announced they were seeing each other. My ex-whatever you would call that relationship was seeing the girl! Surprisingly I didn’t care at all, since at this point, our relationship was kind of bro-ish. We really cared for each other but we had no feelings for each other romantically. What actually happened was I was ignored and given the silent treatment out of this group of friends I had for over four years.
Knowing full well she was getting into a relationship with my ex, she decided I was the enemy who wanted to steal her man and she had all the girls exile me from the group.
Okay yes, it was all petty drama, but so is all of high school. I quickly gave up and made some new friends. During my senior year, I found a few great guys to hang out with and most of the guys in the original group still talked to me and invited me out when my ex and his new girl weren’t there.
Now for the revenge part: One day, I was walking through the parking lot and I saw the girl! She had blue hair and was very nasty, “necking” on a bench with some guy. I quickly recognized her and this random other guy and sent a Snapchat to my ex. He told me he came out saw what was happening and they broke up.
She threatened me for months after this, and my ex and I never went back to being friends the way we had before (I didn’t trust him very much for letting her do all of that).
The best part is she then went to the guy I had gone out with for a few months after they had gotten together and I had to do it again when I caught her making out with some guy in a McDonald’s. Maybe I never would have done anything to get her back, had she not been such a jerk.”
14. She Asked Why The Water Was Salty
“When I was little, we had live-in help.
Her name was Ada. She had a medical condition that ended up making one of her legs a little bigger than the other. My mom was furthering her studies and covering her medical tabs while she helped out with the house chores.
At the time Ada started living with us, she was in her early twenties or late teens and I was 8 years old. I noticed she was only kinder to my siblings and me when my parents were around but the moment they left for work, Ada became the boss, and we became her minions.
One time she gave me money from her medical upkeep funds to buy pepper soup and if you live here, they only sell that at restaurants, or liquor parlors; Places an 8-year-old has no business going.
While I was there waiting to be attended to, one of the men put me on his lap and literally tried blowing his smoke into my face to the amusement of his buddies.
It was weird and awful. I suppose the harassment would have continued had the owner of the bar not stepped in.
When I got back with Ada’s pepper soup, she offered no thanks but rather screamed at me for being late before sitting down to enjoy her meal. I was minding my business when she called me to go get her a glass of water.
The demon in me laughed because I went to the bathroom and peed a little to check the color. It was a bit yellow so I called my younger brother to pee in a cup. His was clearer than mine so I mixed it with her water. I must have added too much cos after 3 gulps she asked me why the water was so salty.”
13. Be Mean To Me? You Won't Get Your Funding
“A frat boy ‘L’ volunteered to be our freshman student council advisor. Two of us were running for class president, and my opponent ‘S’ pledged with L’s frat. L ran a campaign trashing my reputation, so S would get elected. I settled for secretary.
Short term. I got S kicked out of office only a half year later, and 80% of my candidates of the new party I formed got elected. Part of why I won was that S’s significant other ‘D’ was the one sleeping around the campus. One day, I was on the floor below when one of my classmates pointed to the ceiling and said that was her and a guy he knew by name.
Bounce, bounce, bounce. Those paper thing crappy dorms were supposed to be temporary, to be torn down after the GI bill, but we were still using them.
Long term, over a decade, I waited for L to try for some funding. I called a member of the Board and told her what he did to me. They awarded the contract to someone else.
Don’t mess with me.
I’m very, very patient.”
12. Good Thing I Have Some Heavy-Duty Scissors
“I had a friend who was not a nice person. She did things that wouldn’t go over well, but I’m not going into all that.
One time she was on vacation and asked me to go by and check her mail every day. Pick it up and whatnot. Well, she lived next door to an elderly relative and she had gotten someone to splice into his cable and was stealing cable from her own family! The older man had no clue as he would not have allowed it. While I was picking up her mail, I just happened to have some heavy-duty scissors on me.
I cut the line going into her window. She thought her ex did it. I agree with her that it was something he would do! That felt good. She could totally afford to pay for cable herself, but she was too cheap to do it.”
11. His Jealousy Led To The Court
“I fell for a girl and stopped talking to her because she was going out with a guy.
As you can already imagine, she wanted to know why I stopped talking to her.
I then said I had feelings for her but wouldn’t want to stick around and cause any trouble.
She had said it was mutual and we became romantically involved with her promising she would dump her man .
Well, a whole year passed and she didn’t break up with him, what a shocker. Her man went to Europe and we grew closer until I gave her an ultimatum, me or her man.
She chose me and didn’t dump him, so I gave her 15 days to tell him or I would.
She didn’t, so I did. And boy, what a relief.
We had lots of mutual friends, and most of them chose sides and stuck with the girl, not knowing the full story. Well, I did my part and just cut contact with every single one of them.
Some of those went full hate on me for blowing that girl’s date.
Years passed by, and suddenly one of those a*****s called me on social media:
‘Hey man, I just talked to (let’s call her Hannah) and she was annoyed when I asked about you! What happened?’
I just told him to stop it because things haven’t ended very well for us, but he didn’t.
He continued bothering her and went on giggling about ‘how annoyed she was and how funny it was to see her like that’.
He didn’t remember that he basically flipped the finger in my face all those years ago, so, I just passed all his messages to the girl. The last I heard, he was being prosecuted for defamation because of that.
The irony, I helped my ‘ex’ and got a Lil revenge at the same time, how weird.”
10. The Threat Stopped The Honking Of Horns
“When I was a student I lived in a small group of duplexes that faced each other on a horseshoe driveway.
My newest neighbors had visitors (illegal buyers) who would come at all hours of the night and sit in the driveway and honk their horns for them to come out and meet them.
I sleep without clothes. After several nights of this and several cars at about 2:00 AM I got out of bed and walked out my front door exactly as I was.
I informed them that if they continued to honk their horns instead of knocking on the door I would be calling the police every time. I did not stand and argue. I just turned around and walked back into the house.
As I walked away I heard ‘He’s crazy’. Mission accomplished. They didn’t know what to expect next. It actually worked for a bit.”
9. He Shouldn't Have Asked Me To Write A Recommendation Letter
“When I was in high school (a long time ago) I worked one summer for a guy planting acres of tomatoes. I lived in a very small town where everyone knew everyone else. Two of my classmates (girls) were also planting the tomatoes with me.
One day I arrived at the field early and needed to urinate. Which I did openly in the field as only the boss was there.
I instinctively covered my tracks, like a cat, covering the wet spot with dry dirt. The boss made some teasing remark about me acting like a cat. When the girls showed up he started referring to me as ‘kitty’. He kept this up during the remaining days of the planting, much to my embarrassment. Of course, he thought it was just a joke. But it was no joke to this teenager.
He would use this ‘put down’ any time he saw me, even after the work was done.
A few years later this ‘boss’ was operating a small grocery store in our small town and he wanted to have a liquor license. So he asked some of his customers to write letters of recommendation to be submitted with his application to the licensing board. My mother was one of his customers and liked this man and agreed to honor his request. On hearing of this from my Mother, I offered to write a letter for her.
She gladly agreed.
Well, I think you know the ending of this story. I wrote the letter but sent it directly to the licensing bureau.
He didn’t get the liquor license.”
8. Dirty Scoundrel Humiliated Himself Publicly
“A dirty rotten scoundrel I knew, unfortunately, had a host of psychological problems which were projected onto other women, who also knew him, unfortunately. They suffered as a result of his narcissistic personality behavior. They had breakdowns because of his nasty, unreasonable behavior towards them. They wanted to punish him, rightfully so but could not.
Well. Dirty rotten scoundrel thought he was getting married to a female from his own culture which would ‘heal his issues’ with women.
It was all those other women’s faults, not his, kind of beliefs, that he carried around. Getting married though, simply exacerbated and highlighted his issues after a few months, and the wife concerned ordered a divorce two years into the marriage although she was from Islamic culture and had never married prior to him. Women don’t get a divorce unless they’re desperate.
This guy humiliated himself publicly this time.
To have the wife want to leave him because of his horrible behavior was a big whack in his face. And, she could because it was easier for her in New Zealand which is a country that strongly upholds women’s rights, especially in terms of separations from abusive marriages.
I guess, revenge exacts itself via that thing called karma. Those who got hurt earlier can feel vindicated if they’re around to hear or see the drama.”
7. Ex-Boss Calls Me To Save His Project
“A few years ago, my old boss and colleague who happens to be his girl kept on pressuring and harassing me at work. Even I try my best to follow what they want and get the work before the deadline, still no appreciation. Until they decided to terminate me. Then I heard last year that my ex-boss had an operation and his girl moved to another company but she never stayed there because she wants to be a boss there.
She wants to control some people there but those people are more ferocious and that’s their territory. My ex-boss try to call me to work with him again because he desperately needs to save the last project I work on. I never respond to his call and the last thing I heard from my friend was that project is gone and a new company is now working on it.
Karma really works. What you reap is what you sow.”
6. I Led The FBI To His Office
“I was a young hippie (not proud of it) and I worked in a local coffee shop in new york.
I worked together with my now ex and we were very much in love. It was perfect for me seeing how she was very similar to me, however, that would all change when a businessman entered the shop.
He talked to me about how money was the most important thing and with it, you can have everything. He ended up stealing my girl. Man, that broke my heart.
I begged her to stay with me, I cried for days until I realized that it’s time for a change.
I changed completely and started wearing suits and acted as if I was a successful guy (fake it till you make it). I tracked down the guy who stole my girl and as it turns out, he was a boss at a huge company.
I applied for a job interview there and got to meet him again. Man, I wanted to punch him so hard but I kept my cool. I ended up getting the job.
Basically, all I had to do was sign some sketchy documents for the company. I knew that the company was trying to make me their foul guy so that I can take all the heat for their illegal activities so I started collaborating with the feds.
After years of working there and gaining enough information, I finally entered his office and after me, 12 FBI agents entered and started raiding the place for evidence.
You should have seen the look on his face. He looked at me and said, ‘who are you?’ As he was being handcuffed. I simply replied ‘I’m the guy that brought you coffee once’ and left.
He is still in jail now.”
5. Plagiarizing Guy Is Still A Credit-Grabber
“Many years ago, in a century/millennium past, I met a person in college — let’s call him Johnny — and we ended up joining a study group. One day, the group decided to expand, also revising the bibliography to publish our findings as theoretical articles (which is something students can do before entering experimental research), and so it happened that we ended sharing one of the topics.
And, man, did I work hard, putting all my free time into reading and writing for weeks! But to make a long story short, he basically did nothing, stole the material I had shared with him, presented to the group as his work while I was sick at home, and said I had tried to do what he had just done: take ownership of his hard work.
In consequence, I was basically invited to leave the group. I tried to defend myself and a friend attempted to convince others that it couldn’t be right and that didn’t sound like me, but most of the other participants, including a cousin of his who was also in the group, basically claimed I was an expert double-faced manipulator that had fooled them, too.
Well, although we weren’t the best or closest of friends, I really thought we were friends — but we learn and grow, right? We barely spoke after that and life went on.
A little over a decade later, I got a phone call from that one good friend I had in the group saying they would be having a reunion of sorts, along with some other friends just because, and he convinced me to go, saying it would be fun and it was all water under the bridge; I confess I ended up going more for his company and the free booze, though.
Once there, chatting with a few people, updating and getting updated on what some of them were doing, I bumped into dear Johnny’s cousin. She told me the group had later found out that it was all nonsense and kicked him out, but never really invited me back because they knew I wouldn’t give them the time of day — which was true, I was REALLY ANNOYED for a while and wanted nothing to do with them — and I had been fortunate enough to find a great mentor and was busy working under him.
But here’s the thing: earlier that same year, Johnny Darling had tried to become a professor at the same university. Although his grades in the exam were pretty good, he was trying for the same department where my old mentor was kind of at the ‘top of the food chain’ and, knowing what he had done to me before, decided to contact some of the co-authors in his publications.
He found out Johnny hadn’t changed much and became kind of notorious among his co-workers for not doing things (or apparently actually screwing them up), misrepresenting his role in research, and sometimes actually trying to pass the work of others as his — yep, not all of us learn and grow. Last I heard, he’d invested in another area and was working at that after becoming kind of ‘persona non grata’ in some circles.”
4. Two-Faced Friend Rebelled And Destroyed Her Life
“This girl I used to be friends with, Sherry, and this guy David, we all went to Taco Bell one day, when Sherry got a ‘nose bleed.’ We found out she had a kidney stone issue and needed to go to the hospital.
Me, and my friend David were eating, and I was concerned about Sherry because she’d been in the bathroom for the longest time.
I went inside the bathroom, and there’s b***d all over the floor, and on the toilet seat, and she was bleeding from her nose.
I grabbed her, and lifted her, and said… ‘David, we need to take Sherry to the hospital.’
So… David, Sherry and I ran to St. Joseph Hospital, and there’s a waiting list, and I found out she was trying to harm herself. She was taking her mother’s prescription medication, and she said she was coming down with a cold, and I told her… you shouldn’t be taking your mother’s medication because it’s not prescribed for you.
Well… the doctors said she had a kidney stone bladder infection, and so… she had to have that removed, and she did.
David took me to the grocery store, and so I bought Jello because all she can eat is food that isn’t solid.
Well… I spend over 100 bucks on food, and I took care of her and that’s because no one wanted to take care of her, and I had to play nurse.
One day I snapped, and I got tired of her stunts. Her ego became inflated, and she kept using me for stuff, and kept using David for car rides, used my friend Jenny, and was talking trash, and calling her stupid and stuff because she has a disability.
One day I said, “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore, and the reason is you don’t respect people who do things for you, and you’re talking trash behind our backs, and to my face and you are 2 faced looking, and rude and disrespectful.”
Sure.. enough… I left stuff with her to use, and not keep and she didn’t want to give me back my stuff, until finally, she did.
Then she snapped at me, and was teary-eyed, and told me she wanted to ‘BEAT ME UP’ and I chuckle dat her, and gave her direct eye contact. She was in tears. She was becoming arrogant, and using people… and said she’s moving to ‘Alabama’, and I said.. that’s great.
Go move to Alabama, and I guess… what happened was her mother disowned her because of me, and said I was a good influence on her, and said that I have a heart of gold, and to not use Angie.
She says there’s something about that girl that’s very holy, and pure looking and very nice to you, and she’s respectful towards me. She told Sherry I don’t want you to lose this girl because she’s all you have. She’s a very loyal, and kind girl…
Well.. she blew it, and her mother knew it. Her mother asked her about me, and she told her mom that she was using me, and refusing to give my stuff back, and using other people, and David.
I guess she rebelled, and was trying to act ‘hard’, and got into a car accident, and her son Justin (6 yrs old) was in the back seat of the car. She had her kid taken away.
She ended up in the hospital, and no one cared to help her, and she lost her son, and the baby daddy took custody of the son.
She got karma… that was bad for taking advantage of me, and using other people too.
I believe that’s why I’m a very good person, and when I’ve never gotten revenge on someone because I’m a firm believer that something bad will happen to me in time but not letting it go, and leaving a person alone.”
3. Bash My Best Friend? See You In The Bus
“My best friend and I were at a pub when one tall guy started to bash her appearance and call her the ugliest names, without any provocation.
The other guys did nothing, so I told her that we are leaving NOW. At the same time, I swore to get revenge on him someday (in my mind).
Fast forward five years. I had forgotten the incident years ago.
One night I was at the pub wearing high heels and carrying two heavy bags. It was difficult to carry them when wasted and wearing high heels.
I made it to the bus stop and on the bus, I swore that someone else is going to carry my bags. A handsome dude sits beside me and starts flirting with me. ‘He will do just perfectly,’ I thought and he was more than happy to go home with me – and carry my heavy bags.
To show my gratitude, I hooked with him. When waking up in the morning, the dude was still there so I made him breakfast and said goodbye to him after that, thinking he understood it was a one-night thing.
The dude got obsessed with me, he was every night behind the door ringing the doorbell and then hitting the door, shouting through the mailbox how much he loved me, yada yada.
When he figured out I would not open the door, he started showing up in the middle of the night shouting my name and waking up all the neighbors. It took ages before he got the message that I am NOT interested in him.
While his obsession was ongoing, I suddenly remembered why he looked so familiar to me: It was the same dude who mocked and bashed my best friend in front of others in a pub, the dude I swore I would get my revenge on.
My intention was not to take revenge on him when meeting him on the bus, definitely not. I didn’t recognize him, only measured that he is a big guy who can easily carry my heavy bags (I’m a petite girl).
Nor was I taking revenge on him when refusing to open the door and let him inside. But in retrospect, that is exactly what happened. I got my revenge on him.
People, be careful when you swear to something. You might just get what you ask for when you least expect it.
Had I recognized him on the bus, he would be dumped right there. But I got my revenge and have ever since been careful not to do it again.”
2. Ex-Wife Told Lies About Me
“I had the leader of a biker gang come between me and my soon-to-be ex-wife in a dramatic way. Needlessly kicking my car, trying to pull the driver’s window out, and punching me in the face as l was leaving, and costing me a lot and weeks of pain.
Fast forward a year and I could not go into a bar because the idiot and gang were there and I decided I was fed up with him negatively affecting my life.
So I drove to his property and sliced a tire on his pickup. When kids started yelling at me from a second-story balcony, I freaked.
So I hopped into my truck which, at that exact moment, chose to do its periodical loss of power thingy and so the race off his property and out of the neighborhood was a nerve-racking 5 to 10 miles an hour top speed. This of course left me a little obvious for cops racing to the scene of the crime or a biker gang looking to kick my butt.
Fear left my butt puckered so tight at the time you could not get a needle up to it with a jackhammer. It seemed like forever to get to safety.
Fast forward six months after my best friend ran his mouth all over town about me doing it, I turn around and there stood the mountain himself and I was counting the minutes I still had to live as he pulled out a knife.
He, it seems was merely being neighborly and returned to me the knife I left sticking out in his tire and walked away. I am guessing my ex-wife stuck around long enough to fill him up with lies about me. Surely, their time together also revealed what a heavy-drinking nightmare she was.”
1. I Helped The Noisy Neighbor With Her Shopping Bags
“A neighbor of mine. She used to be very loud and loved to argue with our neighborhood people over small things. She was famous for being a bad attitude neighbor in our community.
She never showed up at the funeral or when our neighbor got sick and was hospitalized. It’s a common practice in our neighborhood that we care toward each other, but not her. One day, my son was returning home from school and he forgot the key, and I was still at the office. The rain was pouring down like crazy. She saw my son all wet and was waiting in front of our house.
Her house was just in front of ours, and she was a stay-at-home wife with no kids. It’s pretty quiet that afternoon in the neighborhood because nobody has been home from work and some families around with small kids are inside their houses, so they didn’t see my son stuck outside My son was knocking on her door just to ask her if maybe he can wait there for a while but she didn’t want to open the door.
But it’s okay then because I went home earlier that day.
Several years later, our place was hit by a storm, and was raining for many days. I just bought something at the grocery store nearby. It was heavy rain and I saw her standing in front of the grocery store, none of the neighbors who were around the store lent her a hand to help her with shopping bags and she was using crutches because she had a foot injury.
So I helped her to carry her things and we walked through the rain with my big umbrella. It was the sweetest revenge. Somehow I feel so satisfied by helping her in that way. She is still grumpy to this day but at least now she often says hello to me and my family.”
