People Are Left Reeling By These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
25. AITJ For Not Wanting To Eat The Soup On Thanksgiving?
“I’m a college student currently staying at home and commuting before attending a state college in a few years.
Today is Thanksgiving, and while my family is small, we usually just have a simple meal with normal conversation. However, I’m feeling conflicted and a bit upset.
The issue started when I said I didn’t want to eat the soup my mom made the day before.
I wasn’t in the mood for it, so when my mom mentioned we would eat the soup first and then other meals later, I explained that I wasn’t hungry. I thought that would be the end of it, but then my dad came in and asked what was wrong.
I told him I wasn’t hungry, and he asked if that meant I wasn’t eating at all. He then said I wasn’t allowed to pick and choose what I ate, especially since my mom had spent all day cooking. I understood his point, so I told him that I wasn’t in the mood for soup but would eat everything else.
At this point, my dad got upset and started asking why I thought I could pick and choose what I ate, saying it wasn’t a restaurant. I got frustrated and said that I wasn’t going to eat Thanksgiving dinner at all. If I wasn’t allowed to choose, I didn’t see the point in eating.
I figured that would avoid any conflict later on.
My dad responded by saying it was unfair and that I was ruining the holiday. He asked me to come downstairs and just be respectful and eat with the family. I repeated that I wasn’t in the mood for soup but would eat the rest, and I didn’t see why this was such a big deal.
He then told me, “OK, stay in your room, stay on your phone, do whatever you want,” in a tone that felt very condescending. I felt upset because, like anyone would, I didn’t want to be spoken to like that. He called me ungrateful, saying how I didn’t want to eat as a family, and that this had happened the day before too when I went to the mall with my friends instead of eating with them.
I reminded him that I had returned late and ate on my own when I got home.
Then he accused me of ruining the holiday, and I pointed out that I wasn’t ruining anything by not eating one part of the meal. He didn’t respond and just went back downstairs.
I want to know if I was in the wrong here and if I should apologize. My dad and I have had similar arguments in the past that have blown out of proportion, but I’ve learned to step away and ignore his taunts when necessary.
Was I wrong in this situation?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, I don’t like sashimi, and when we have family get-togethers, I’ll eat everything except that. It’s a personal preference. You are not a toddler who needs to eat everything because your parents have said so.
If you didn’t want the soup, it shouldn’t have escalated into this kind of power struggle on your “father’s part.” MissSuzieSunshine
Another”User Comments:
“NTJ. The fun thing about being a human is that you can pick and choose what you put into your body.
Crazy concept I know but it is true. You can’t force someone to when they aren’t hungry. It’s ridiculous that he tried to guilt you into it.” Hairy-Philosopher962
24. AITJ For Not Attending Thanksgiving With My Manipulative Dad's Family?
“I (17F) and my sister (19F) both do not have a relationship with our dad. He was and still is highly manipulative and selfish. My sister and I took a very long time to cut him off. He now no longer has legal custody of me.
My brother (21) and my younger sister (10) still see him.
My sister and I deliberated for a long time whether we would attend Thanksgiving this year on my dad’s side of the family. My dad bad mouths us all the time to his family and even our sister, saying that we hate all of them and we cut him off to hurt him (we did it for our own mental health and wellbeing).
So we decided to go this year to be the most prominent people. We texted our grandparents to let them know we planned to attend, and they asked to talk to us beforehand.
The conversation didn’t go well. They told us they were unwilling to have a relationship with us outside of my dad.
If we weren’t willing to have a relationship with my dad and either call him or go to his house in person to talk to him, we were not welcome at Thanksgiving. They also said that there was visible tension between my sister, me, and my dad last Christmas, which hurt them.
My sister and I let our dad hug us on Christmas, and when he asked how we were, we responded. We were trying to keep the peace around the holiday, but this was not true.
My sister and I were appalled at their stipulation of “no relationship with dad = no Thanksgiving,” so we decided that we both were uncomfortable speaking to my dad and it would be best not to go this year.
We knew this decision would have repercussions, especially with my brother. We talked to my younger sister about us not going and reminded her that we love her. She mentioned some things she overheard that sealed the deal for you, but they’re irrelevant.
Fast-forward to today.
My brother came to our house and asked my sister what time we were planning on being there tomorrow. She told him that we were not going because we had a conversation with them, etc. He stormed out of our house, saying that he wasn’t going to be there on Saturday (my mom’s dinner with her side of the family).
My mom overheard this and has been upset and sad ever since. My brother often sides with my dad and believes she’s horrible in this situation. She has always been loving, supportive, and kind. She tries to keep the peace as much as possible, even with my brother and my dad always coming after her.
I hate to see my mom upset. I’m starting to think I should have just sucked it up and talked to my dad and gone to keep the peace, but that really crosses my boundaries, and even thinking about my dad makes me want to puke.
But I feel terrible about what this has done to my mom and her relationship with my brother. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You don’t owe anyone your time and discomfort. Sadly, people are all trying to manipulate you, but that says way more about them and you.
You do what you need to do for you. Maybe you can have a better relationship with your other siblings in the future. Only time will tell. If your grandparents are so manipulative and hateful and conditional, sadly, you are probably better off without them around, too.
Family isn’t only about blood. It’s about love and support and joy and liking each other. Hopefully, you can build your family and perhaps have your siblings join later. But for now, protect your well-being. Stay away. Have a good Thanksgiving!” KaoJin-Wo
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Stand your ground on this argument. You are being manipulated (by your paternal grandparents and by your older brother) into “making peace” with someone who you have decided is toxic to you. It’s not uncommon for children to split their loyalties between divorced parents.
Your older brother will have to realize that, despite that split, it’s his choice whether or not to have a good relationship with you and your sister. You’re on solid ground as long as you and she keep things cordial with him.” Individual_Ad_9213
23. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Partner's Brother A Ride Home From Work?
“I (22F) work a LOT. I work extremely long hours, anywhere between 8 am to 8 pm, in the medical field.
My partner (23M) works from 3:30 in the morning kitchen prep, to 3:30 pm. We live together, with my partner’s older brother (39M) who works as a shift lead at Taco Bell.
Only nights, 3 pm to 12 am.
Sadly, my partner had his car completely wrecked, so I have been waking up earlier to take him to work only 15 minutes away. It’s a bit exhausting. But he’s my partner, so I’d do anything for him.
I’d like to mention that my partner also understands that I cannot pick him up from work because I am at work before he gets off, so he will take public transportation and then walk home the rest of the distance from the drop-off point (15-minute walk).
He is a total green flag—kind, understanding, and saving up for a car. He recently just job-hopped, so there is a little stress there, but it is simply a bump in the road.
My partner’s brother recently had his car give out on him, so he unfortunately has no transportation.
Recently he has started asking me for rides home from work, which ya know… I understand he doesn’t have a ride. Everyone needs a source of income…so sure. Partner’s brother works 25 minutes away and gets off SO. LATE.
Upon picking him up, he ALWAYS says something like “Oh wow you’re tired?
I had to deal with not eating on break, and having to do a refund during my lunch for a customer.” Or some negative complaints about the day. I sympathize because that truly does suck. But whenever I complain about my day, he simply says “welcome to my life.”
He then goes further to say that he takes his daughter to her high school (14F) comes home, sleeps for 6 hours, then goes to work.
But he could easily come home, be in bed by 3, sleep, take her, and get back to sleep.
I CANNOT sleep when I come home.
I shower, I cook, I have dinner, relax a bit, I do my laundry for the next day, and by that point,t he’s ready to be picked up. So frustrating.
I pick him up and get back home around1 around 1 a.m., go to bed for twoish hours only to get up and take my partner to work, then come back home, sleep, and take myself to work for my 12-hour shift.
Recently, I told my partner’s brother that it was WAY too exhausting for me to handle, to take some personal time, which meant no more rides home.
I’ve noticed since this conversation he’s been a bit distant, and off. My partner hasn’t noticed the sudden change in his brother’s demeanor, other than a little bit more stress due to the car.
I may be overthinking, but his brother also does not provide gas help, nor does he provide any assistance with groceries for the house, my partner and I purchase everything. Including power and internet. Partner’s brother pays rent, and we supply everything else… am I overthinking or am I wrong?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. A 25-minute commute is no longer a favor when it becomes a regular thing. Your partner’s brother needs to start finding alternative rides home from work. If it were a one-off thing? Sure- you should do it. For a week or so?
Probably. But continually with no end in sight for when he will have a car again? No way. Also- how is he taking his daughter to school without a car?” Kadmos
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. He’s 39, he shouldn’t be relying on a young couple to take care of him.
Helping your partner is different. You’re a team long term. But at 39, yikes. As my dad says- there’s nothing a woman can do for a grown man that he can’t do for himself and if he can’t do it himself it must be an emergency and in that case call 911 for him from a distance.
(He never lets me forget about Bundy pretending to be hurt so women would “help him”) Lol so yes it’s dramatic but he is a father. He needs to hustle regardless. Keep your boundaries even if he makes you feel awkward. He’s too old for guilt tripping.” AMLPYPLD
Another User Comments:
“I’m sorry, you work 12 hours, generally finishing at 8, then stay up until midnight to pick up your partner’s brother, and wake up again at 3 am to take your partner to work? One or the other. Either you stay up and pick up the brother, and he drops off your partner, or bro can make other arrangements.” Neon_Owl_333
22. AITJ For Yelling At My Mom About My Stepdad's Boundary Issues And Hygiene?
“So, for context; my dad passed away when I (16F) was very young, and my mom (46F) has had many partners since then but hasn’t involved them too much in my life.
2 of these partners, the most recent ones, were crazy and absolute jerks. They made my mom’s life a nightmare. I wasn’t as affected as my mom mostly kept them away from me. It still hurt me quite a bit, though, as I was emotional support for her during those times, yet she still treated me as a burden.
I was 13 when the serial deceiver was in the picture, and 14 when my mom had to file a restraining order against the 2nd one. She would break down in front of me constantly, venting to me about everything daily. It was emotionally exhausting, and she continues to unload on me to this day.
A year ago, my mom was “saved” from her extremely abusive relationship. This man, honest to god, came out of nowhere and a whole new set of problems arose. A month after my mom met him, she invited him to live with us in our 1bed apartment.
They got married a few months later. 1 year later I’m still extremely uncomfortable with this situation because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how impulsive my mom can be and how dangerous it is.
Anyway, here is why I might not be the jerk. This guy is nice and all, but has serious boundary issues.
He, from day 1, walks into my room while I’m changing and in on me in the bathroom. He has unhygienic habits that bother me as I have a ridiculous mental block when it comes to sharing things with unhygienic people (utensils & towels even after being washed, the toilet seat) and it makes me feel like an alien in my own home.
Due to this, I’ve been too embarrassed to invite my friends over and was excited when my mom told me that she and he were planning on leaving me alone for the weekend. I asked my mom to confirm these plans because I know how she can be, and she told me I could invite my friends.
So I did, only to find out today that my mom and stepdad would be returning 2 days before they previously said. Now, here’s how I might be a jerk.
I got really upset because it’s been frustrating not being able to have my friends over.
After all, I’m scared of them judging me for my living situation and my stepdad’s boundary issues. At first, I didn’t overreact to my mom. I told her I was upset that my friends couldn’t come over anymore, and she asked me why they couldn’t.
We have a pullout couch for guests and it realistically wouldn’t be a problem. I immediately started criticizing my stepdad’s habits, and since this was far from the first time, I might’ve been too harsh. I told my mom she married a “pig” and a “disgusting creep”.
She flipped out on me and I continued to fight back, calling her “impulsive” and “lost in life”. She told me to leave her alone and stop yelling but all the anger I’ve built up over the years couldn’t stop coming out. She’s been acting extremely cold to me since this.
AITJ??”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ….I would tell Step dad the next time he ever walks into your room again without knocking and waiting for permission to enter, in case you are changing, (oh wait, you said the bathroom, but still), you will be screaming from the high heavens to anyone who will listen that he does this.
This is not kosher.” Worth-Season3645
Another User Comments:
“NTJ .. so let’s address the major concern I have and him not respecting your privacy.. that’s a big no-no.. that needs to be addressed by your mother and if not get CPS involved… As for bf and his disgusting hygiene, yea that would be a dealbreaker for almost everyone ..
you had every right to blow up at her.. she needs to grow up and put you before her needs and desires.. that’s what every parent should be doing ..” GuyFromLI747.
21. AITJ For Telling My Coworker He Hurt My Feelings By Mispronouncing My Name?
“My name is Veronica. I get called Victoria constantly- to the point, I know people mean me when they say Heyy Victoria”. People will misread my name even at the doctor’s office etc. I feel like this is why everyone typically calls me V or a shortened version of my name.
I smile and correct people normally when they call me Victoria. It’s happening so often lately that it’s starting to get to me. Four times today alone I was called Victoria. The number of times my actual full name was used? Maybe 1-2 times
One of the biggest culprits is a co-worker of 8 months I’m friendly with. The second time today alone he called me Victoria, I shook my head and told him, “It hurts my feelings that you can’t remember my name or even just call me Ronnie or V.
Even the employees who’ve been here 2-3 weeks call me Miss V or Ronnie.” It just got to me, to the point I was genuinely hurt; so I went into the break room to make myself a mug of tea and compose myself. It makes me feel as if I’m so irrelevant my name doesn’t matter.
When I got back to my desk, our other coworker was upset. They told me “I can’t believe you did that- he just buried his father!” She pointed out that no one in the office calls her by her real name- true but it’s a cute derivative of her actual name- like Hannie Bananie
As someone who’s lost a parent I understand mourning, however, it’s been a month since the funeral. The guy I got upset with was giving me the stink eye the rest of the day. I was blunt and impatient when I spoke to him, but I didn’t raise my voice at all.
When I told my husband he told me I was wrong and should let it go, since half the time I’m called my pen name anyway (I am never actually called by my pen name for the record and never IRL. Just online)
AITJ because he just lost his dad and used a pen name online?”
Another User Comments:
“Ooohhh I’ve got a good solution for you V! People do that with my name too… The solution is simple, Don’t call them by their name. If he is called Harry, call him John, or Hamish. Call him any other name, but his(or hers) When people push back, say Ohhh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize names matter?
As you consistently don’t call me by name?” I trained someone this way. It took 3 hours. NTJ by the way” Particular-Lime1651
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I think most people prefer to be called by their actual name. As someone who is mourning the loss of her father more than a year later, one month is a second in the span of grief.
But when is it going to be a good time to tell him? 2 months after? Six? A year? And listen to him calling you Victoria all this time? You did not mean to hurt him. You could always tell him you’re sorry you were short-tempered.” Aware_Welcome_8866
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, grieving doesn’t excuse bad behavior, it may explain it. Going forward, however, I’d advise you to not enable the others as much. Just don’t react when someone says Victoria. It’s not your name and you do NOT have to answer just because they are ignorant.
When they get annoyed, you just tell them ‘Oh I didn’t know you were talking to me since you didn’t bother to use my name’. Stop being nice to people who don’t treat you nicely.” Expensive-Wish799
20. AITJ For Not Attending My Partner's Family Thanksgiving Because They Won't Accept Our Guest?
“To start, my partner’s parents have been divorced for over 20 years. His cousin—let’s call her Jane—from his mom’s side of the family is driving seven hours with her two dogs to spend Thanksgiving with us. My partner and I are very close to Jane and play games online several times a week.
Knowing this might become an issue as Thanksgiving approached, I texted my partner’s dad back in July to ask if it would be okay for Jane to join his family’s Thanksgiving lunch. His response was, “Why isn’t [partner] asking this?” and that was the end of the conversation.
Fast forward to October, my partner mentioned to his dad multiple times that Jane would be staying with us over Thanksgiving, but no specific discussion about the family lunch took place since it was still early. Last week, my partner’s dad texted us the lunch plans and asked if we were bringing our usual gourmet mac and cheese.
My partner replied that we were still figuring out our plans.
Later that night, my partner called his dad and asked if Jane could come along to the family lunch. His dad implied that it would be inappropriate for someone from his ex-in-laws family to attend.
For context, he has only met Jane once at a wedding 10 years ago, and the divorce happened before Jane was even born. His dad suggested we come to lunch for just an hour. However, this didn’t make sense for us because:
1. They live 40 minutes away (over an hour round trip).
2. Lunch never starts on time, meaning we’d be stuck there longer.
3. We’d likely face guilt-tripping for leaving early.
4. We still needed to cook for our own Thanksgiving dinner, which would have been nearly impossible if we attended.
We kindly explained that if Jane couldn’t join, we wouldn’t be able to make it to lunch.
This sparked a huge argument.
So, are we the jerks for deciding not to go to my partner’s family lunch?”
Another User Comments:
“Absolutely NTJ. It’s inappropriate of your partner’s dad to have been so rude when you first asked him about Jane.
It’s also really rude of him to expect you to drop your plans, and leave your guest alone on Thanksgiving. He needs to not take his bitterness about the divorce out on the three of you. Good luck and have a happy Thanksgiving!” Few-Product-9937
19. AITJ For Not Wanting To Include My Stepchildren's Absentee Father In Their Lives?
“My (30M) wife (36F) have been together for four years. She has two children (17F and 14M) and I have one (8F). The biological father of the two kids has stopped visiting or being a part of their lives consistently for about 8+ years now as he went to another state.
Six months into our relationship, my wife (partner at the time) filed a custody case to reflect the fact he hasn’t been paying child support and doesn’t see his kids anymore since it was currently set to 50/50. The biological father went crazy and proceeded to try and come after all four of us in different ways.
Called the police and tried to force the kids to leave the house with him since it was “his week,” and even tried to yell at them over the phone claiming they were to blame for everything. He attempted to damage my reputation within the military claiming that I was some horrible person and made up stories to make my leadership talk to me about what was going on.
Due to all of this, the daughter has refused to acknowledge his existence and wants nothing to do with him (this is now reflected in the current court orders).
This brings us to the question at hand. My wife constantly wants to include the father in things for both kids (whether it be birthdays or doctor visits) because it is “the right thing to do since they are his kids.” I have fought this to a point and have gone as far as to not answer him when he wants to know what his daughter wants for presents since she refuses to tell him.
My wife and I have been getting into arguments lately where she claims that I don’t understand what it is like to be distant from a daughter (which I do as noted above) and that I’m a jerk for not trying to help bridge the gap between them.
So. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You have to willingly participate to be a decent parent. He has not. He only keeps any custody to be a thorn in the side of the mother. If he wants to discuss his daughter, it should either be with the daughter or the mother.
Since the daughter doesn’t currently want him in her life, that would leave the mom. You do not need to interact with him in this very difficult co-parenting situation.” Ducky818
Another User Comments:
“Definitely NTJ. No idea why your wife would even suggest or say such things to you.
The biological father didn’t pay child support nor did he visit his kids, he had also tried to damage your reputation after he learned about the custody case. I say you have every right to be mad at your wife, and I hope you talk to her about this.” Ok_Lemon24
Another User Comments:
“I don’t think a 17-year-old female will take kindly to a man she can’t stand going on doctor visits, let alone showing up for birthdays. Granted, they are his children, but I wonder if the wife is over this guy. There doesn’t seem to be anything about the son.
He’s the one to worry about, the daughter will be 18, and the dad won’t be able to do anything, but the son will still have to have contact. The wife is delusional if she thinks her present husband should bridge the gap when her ex nearly sabotaged his career.” Charming-Industry-86
18. AITJ For Being Angry At My Husband's Lack Of Sympathy Over My Best Friend's Death?
“My (f51) best friend “Ron”(m59), passed away suddenly 3 days ago. We have been best friends since I was 18, almost 34 years. We live in different states now, but had the kind of friendship where long distance didn’t matter. Ron was always there for me, we could talk on the phone about anything for hours.
He would’ve jumped on a plane and been there for me in a moment.
My husband, “Dan” (m61), has been together for 24 years and always disliked Ron. Over the years, Dan would make fun of Ron, get jealous and mad when we talked, and even kick Ron out of our house at 2 am once when he visited. When I found out Ron died I was quietly devastated. No hysterics, I didn’t want to talk about it.
Ron and I had planned to be best friends forever. He was the only person I could truly trust 100% in this world. My husband is jealous, even though Ron is no longer alive. Dan said, ” Well, you wouldn’t care if my mom died, so why should I care about a guy you were friends with”.
Which isn’t even true about his mom.
Dan has no close friends he has kept up with for so long. Dan acted as though I should be over this in 3 days and yelled at me for being sad. He fought with me and acted extra mean.
Also, we just got destroyed by Hurricane Milton. My brand new car is totaled (salt water flooded), the roof of my house is messed up and both insurance companies are trying to avoid paying. It’s been a bad couple of weeks.
I told Dan he was just jealous because Ron and I were so close.
I never had any romantic thing with Ron, Ever!! We were strictly platonic friends. I also told Dan he was a poor excuse for a husband and is unempathetic, narcissistic, and possibly a psychopath.
I am so angry and disappointed in Dan and he “fake” apologized, but after 24 years I know he doesn’t mean it.
He now is just ignoring it and trying to act like nothing happened. I refuse to let this go I fully expect more sympathy from my husband. Am I wrong to be heartbroken over my friend’s sudden death? AITJ for being angry at my husband?”
Another User Comments:
“I have a male best friend and a nonjealous husband. However, if I ever described my bestie as the only person I trust 100% I think my nonjealous husband might start questioning the relationship. I believe you when you say there was nothing romantic, but that doesn’t mean the relationship wasn’t harmful to your husband.
How would you feel if he had a female friend and he told you she was the only person he completely trusted? I guarantee you it wouldn’t make you feel kindly towards her or feel good about yourself. I don’t know whether your husband is a naturally jealous or offensive person but I do believe that there have been times your friendship crossed normal bounds of acceptability that hurt your husband and you showed him the same lack of empathy you now accuse him of.” throwAWweddingwoe
Another User Comments:
“ESH – I get that you are grieving over this friend of 34 years, but this stood out to me. ‘He was the only person I could truly trust 100% in this world.’, so I can see where your husband might be jealous.
You seem to have deeper issues with your husband if he isn’t one you have 100% trust in. Given that I can see why he might think the way he does. I think the two of you need to get some therapy for your marriage.” PumpkinPowerful3292
Another User Comments:
“Ugh, the comment section is horrible. Does her husband sound like someone to be trusted? Sounds like his behavior over 24 years moved him to the bottom of the trustworthy pole. Y’all love to get stuck on friendships between men and women and not the fact that she had a best friend who she could trust with anything.
If Rob was Rhonda you wouldn’t be voting this way because all I’m getting from this post is regardless of Rob, her husband is not emotionally stable enough to be the person she trusts most in this world. He sounds volatile and immature because besides Rob, she makes it sound like when he doesn’t get his way, he throws tantrums. Someone close to his wife died and he told her to get over it.
Then said she wouldn’t care if his mom died which she says is untrue. OP, you’re NTJ. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you have other trusted people in your life because your marriage sounds not great and I’m not sure why you’re still with this man who doesn’t respect you or have any empathy.” hurr4drama
17. AITJ For Being Upset About My Mother's Fifth Daughter After Raising My Siblings?
“Last week my mum had a small, intimate gender reveal for myself and my 3 other sisters. For context, I am 20 and I don’t live at home but I am here every day, my other sisters are 17, 5, and 3.
Since I was 5 I’ve raised my siblings which hasn’t been a problem for me, my mum has had a rough time but has gotten a lot better, she just needs help. When I found out she was pregnant with the 5th I was pretty excited, as exhausted as I am I thought maybe this would finally be the boy.
Surprise… it wasn’t. I was pretty disappointed, I’ve raised 3 girls so far and I was hoping maybe this time I would get the brother we’ve been waiting on. I had a bit of a cry and quickly got over it and knew I would love her the same as all the other girls.
My mum, however, lost her temper. She called me an ungrateful jerk and said I was horrible, she was just as upset as I was but I was the bad person because I had a bit of gender disappointment. Long story short I’ve been told I am not allowed back at her house and to stay at my own.
That’s exactly what I did and now she’s been begging me to come back and watch the girls, my 17-year-old sister can drive but goes to school so she’s been dropping by every day and bringing things over slowly to start staying at mine permanently (legally she’s allowed to do this so that’s fine and I’m happy for her to, she works and we’ve already spoken about her chipping in for rent).
I’ve not had a moment of silence from my mother calling and texting calling me names and then apologising and begging me to come back. I don’t know what to do.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Use this to distance yourself. Your mother shouldn’t be having kids if she can’t raise them.
Your sister is 17 years old and moving her stuff out because she doesn’t want to be a parent. Your “mother” shouldn’t be allowed to have children regardless of gender if she isn’t able to raise them, let alone five children. That’s too many for most people to manage without support.
Where is the father or fathers in all of this?” Otherwise_Degree_729
Another User Comments:
“Oh look, your mother has met the consequences of her actions! NTJ for being disappointed, because then you put on your big girl pants and got over it. Your mother, on the other hand, has suddenly realized she’s not going to have a convenient little nanny to pawn the consequences of her decision to spawn despite it not being a bright idea, and that is why she is freaking out.
Do not go back, let your mother raise her darn kid. (Also, you never know. One of your siblings might turn out to be trans and you might just get that brother.)” FantasticCabinet2623
Another User Comments:
“Parentification is a form of mistreatment. Your reaction to the gender reveal is not the issue.
You being a parent since age 5 is. I don’t care what your mom went through, a child should never have parental duties thrust upon them. Get out and stay out. Be a sister, not a mother. As said by another user, keep in touch with your sisters but your mom sounds unhinged. Go live your life, you’ve earned it.” Training_Winner3659
16. AITJ For Being Angry At My MIL For Claiming To Have A Message From My Deceased Mother?
“For background, my mother-in-law is a very emotionally immature person (narcissistic, codependent, and boundary-violating behaviors). She regularly disrespects my wife’s boundaries and independent personhood.
She also routinely makes unfounded statements and conclusions about myself and the nuclear family I grew up in. Example – My mother died when I was 9 (27 years ago). She believes that because I don’t rely on her emotionally, it’s because I don’t know how because I grew up “without love.” When in actuality, it’s because I’m a grown-up with a great support structure of family and friends and I find her to be immature and negative.
I find these conclusions about me very insulting.
My wife warned me today that her mother would want to talk to me about something. She went to a “psychic” who “made a connection” with several of her dead relatives. She believes that included among them was the spirit of my dead mother, and now she wants to discuss her experience with me.
Specifically, she believes she needs to deliver a message to me from my deceased mom.
To say the least, I do not share her beliefs. But the larger issue is that I feel her being entitled to assert any connection to my dead mother of 27 years (I barely know the woman, I was 9 when she passed) to be preposterous, inappropriate for our relationship, and exhibits a deep unawareness of how inappropriate it is to assert such a connection in the first place.
I am angry because her constant lack of respect for boundaries is now showing up on a deeply personal topic for me.
My wife had shared with MIL that she thought this was a bad idea for her to share this experience. My MIL exploded on the phone, yelling that she had “A MESSAGE TO DELIVER.” I’m not sure how I’m going to handle this, but I think regardless of what I do there is going to be an explosion.
I’m incensed. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Unfortunately, people who don’t respect boundaries have to be told off in the most disrespectful ways. Tell her EXACTLY what she doesn’t want to hear. Lay it all out – You don’t love or rely on her because her behavior is disrespectful and off-putting.
That she is neither connected to your mother nor able to assess your childhood and that her insistence on thinking she can is why you would never trust her with your truth. Sure she’ll be mad and hurt but I’d repeat the same thing every time the subject comes up.
People like MIL don’t respond to rational conversations.” LouisV25
Another User Comments:
“You know you’re NTJ here and this is more of a r/JUSTNOMIL kind of thing. That is unless you go low on your delivery. Might be a good idea to discuss with your wife how much contact you want with your MIL going forward.
You might want to lower exposure, you know, for sanity’s sake.” tango421
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your MIL is invasive, presumptuous, and self-involved. You have every right to refuse to discuss your dead mother with her. She is dreadful to insist she has info about her to impart to you.
This is dangerously loony, at best. Your wife does need to put her foot down with her mother and refuse her access to you if she persists. It is not her mother’s job to speak for your mother. She must stop. You will go to a psychic yourself if you want to connect with your mother if such a pathway is even possible.
It’s normal to find this very disturbing, and to feel angry.” Euphoric_Travel2541
15. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Pay Her Share For Fast Food?
“I (31M) asked my partner(29F) for $5 the other night when I bought some fast food.
We were out at an event that was fairly far away and were using my gas so when she said we should get some food, I had the expectation she could cover her portion. I put the food on my card and asked her to send me $5 when she got the chance, but she immediately started getting upset.
Claiming $5 should not matter, it’s a drop in the bucket for your partner, other guys have never treated her like that, etc.
I could maybe see her point, however I pay for a lot of things for her. I had treated her to a nice dinner earlier in the week, used my gas to drive us everywhere, had plans to take her out again this weekend, and usually put up 70% and greater cost for travel plans/ date nights.
She also owes me thousands of dollars for helping put her through school. She has a job that makes good money, but she does not work 5 days per week by choice. I’ve brought it up before that I want us to be more fair with how we split costs, but she halfway agrees, but then gets upset when I ask for small costs even though I’m paying much more in the overall picture.
I feel she is very bad with her finances and she claimed she was struggling so me asking her for $5 was wrong. I do not expect her to go half on expensive stuff, but $5 for fast food I feel isn’t being petty. This kind of financial dispute occurs pretty often for us.
I’m not sure how to approach it most of the time. I don’t want to have to ask her if she can split things fairly before every single thing we do, but I also kind of have to.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ.
This isn’t about $5—it’s about fairness. If you’re covering the majority of the costs and she still gets upset over small contributions like fast food, that’s a problem. You’ve already helped her a lot financially, and asking for a little balance in splitting costs is completely reasonable.
If she’s bad with her finances, that’s something you both need to talk about, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for expecting her to chip in occasionally.” hunteryumi
Another User Comments:
“Did you guys have a conversation about how you were going to handle money in your relationship?
Both of you should sit down and have a conversation about this, talk about if you guys are okay with the “hey I don’t mind paying for this meal but you pay for the next one” setup, if you’re gonna half the bill all the time, etc. The way I see it when you give so much in a relationship, you expect the same to be given back to you, and you’re not wrong in wanting the same effort to be given back to you, but sometimes people don’t realize it and you have to properly communicate it.
Don’t suddenly just suddenly ask for a change. Why don’t you guys try to sit down and talk it out?” Soggy_Dimension_9896
14. AITJ For Not Considering My Dad's New Wife As My Parent?
“My dad got (re)married 6 months ago to Claire. They were together for 3 years and I knew her for about a year before they got married. So I (16m) was 15 when they met.
My older brother (21) and sister (19) were both older and out of the house so met her later.
Our mom died years ago. Dad’s the only parent I remember having.
I go to a computer class after school on Thursdays and Fridays. Last Thursday Claire came to pick me up which was unexpected. I normally walk home.
She wanted to spend some time with me and bond. She came into the computer room I was in and she heard the organizer ask if a letter home should be addressed to parent/parents or guardian/guardians and I said, “parent.”
When Claire was driving me home she brought it up and asked why I said parent instead of parents.
I told her because dad’s my only parent.
On Saturday, Dad and Claire asked me to sit and talk with them and they asked what I said Claire was. I told them said she was my dad’s wife. They asked me if I’d call them together “my parents” and I said no. I told them I only say parent for dad.
I’d say dad and his wife or dad and Claire.
Claire told me she’d like me to be open to the idea that she could be another parent for me. I told them I didn’t want Claire to be my parent and I’d prefer her to stay as Dad’s wife.
She said she missed out on being a parent to my siblings but I was still a minor and we could try. I wasn’t open to it. Dad asked if I would think about saying parents sometimes. He said I don’t have to but it would be nice.
Claire said she wanted me to open up to that idea. I said I just don’t see her as that and it’s not a place I want her to have in my life.
She’s not happy with me. She thinks I’m being cold. Dad told me afterward that my siblings don’t answer many of her calls which is making her sensitive.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She’s not your parent. She didn’t raise you, you’ve only known her for 18 months. You didn’t say you hate her or even dislike her. You didn’t say you don’t want her in your life. You didn’t say you resent her.
You’re not being “cold”. You just said she’s not your mom. Because, indeed, she is not. I understand her desire for you to call her your parent or think of you as such, but that is just not the nature of your relationship with her, and most likely never will be.
Maybe if she’d entered your life 5 or 10 years earlier, but things didn’t work out that way. You’re doing nothing wrong here, as long as you’re not being rude when you tell her this stuff. As an adult, she should be able to see it your way and accept it, even if they wish it were otherwise, and I’m a little surprised that she and your dad don’t simply drop it at this point, rather than insisting on having you refer to her as the parent that she is not.” gordonf23
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Expecting to suddenly become a parent to a kid who is already nearing adulthood is silly. Even if she got along well, the most she could reasonably expect would be something like a trusted adult family member, or maybe a mentor, neither of which was the same as a parent.
Her desire to be a parent is her problem. Expecting to jam you into the “my kid” box is treating you as wish fulfillment rather than as a person with his thoughts and feelings.” KaliTheBlaze
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You are almost an adult and you have not had the opportunity to develop a strong relationship with Claire, so it is reasonable to not address her as your mom.
That being said, I would still suggest treating her with kindness and respect the openness to build a bond. She is not your mother, but she can still be your family.” HolSmGamer
13. AITJ For Being Upset Over My Partner's Inconsiderate Pizza Sharing?
“This may seem silly but it’s become a thing over the past few days. I, a 28-year-old female, and my significant other, a 24-year-old male, have his friend over every Sunday to watch football during the season.
On those days we usually just grab a few low-quality frozen pizzas. Technically enough for one pizza each. However, I never eat a whole one (when we have a ton of snacks prior).
Last Sunday they each ate their whole pizzas, I had two slices of mine.
I let them know I’d only want two more pieces and they could have the rest. This is where the situation turns.
My significant other took two big slices. His friend took a big and a small to be considerate. He encouraged his friend to put the small one back and take the bigger one, leaving me the two smallest ones.
He thinks I’m overreacting and have no right to be mad. And that if I was going to be that upset by it I should’ve just come out to pick out my slices. I told him that was inconsiderate considering they had already eaten a whole pizza each, and even more inconsiderate that he went out of his way and told his friend to swap out the pieces after he had already taken what he wanted.
Please note I’m not so much upset about the pizza as I am the fact that his friend was trying to be mindful and he went out of his way to tell him to do the opposite. We have been together for about 2 1/2 years now.
I guess I was just hoping for him to see that what he did was in poor taste. I have asked other people about this to agree with me but because it’s people in my circle he thinks it’s biased. And when I brought up asking other people about it, he wanted to just leave it at leaving me two pieces with no other details if I were to.
So I’m turning to you, lovely folks. AITJ for getting mad over this?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. His blatant disregard for you is astonishing. Is he like that with anything else of yours? Does he show a lack of care for your stuff? If he damages or misplaces any of your belongings is his reaction to say you can just go out and buy a new one?
(or ignore it completely)? If there are two possible options for something, does he ever say your option should be the one to go with (from where to eat, to which movie to watch to where to go for the long weekend)? I think you can see where I’m going with this.” East_Parking8340
Another User Comments:
“NTJ at all. They had already eaten their share and you offered they could have some of your pizza, so it was on them and your significant other/husband especially to make sure it is o.k. how much they take. I know this situation very well from the opposite side, as I am always the one to eat the rest from my wife when we are in a restaurant.
I always ask like 3 times if she doesn’t want anymore to avoid what has happened in your case at home.” Captain_Sensible77
12. AITJ For Telling My Vegetarian Partner To Stop Commenting On My Meat Eating Habits?
“I (26M) eat a lot of steak, about 5-6 days a week. I also lift weights every day and this is my main source of protein.
My partner (26F) turned vegetarian about 6 months ago and so she will never eat anything I cook, except for the sides (potatoes, veggies, pasta, etc). Most days I cook steak and pasta because it is easy to prepare.
My partner never commented about my eating habits until a month ago.
I have noticed that she has been watching a lot of videos on YouTube, specifically about the dangers of red meat. She knows I eat a lot of steak, chicken, and lamb. It has been this way since we moved in together about two years ago.
Initially, she started off by asking me whether I was concerned about the amount of meat I consume, in terms of health risks. Later on over the month she started bringing up how ruminants can be detrimental to the environment. Initially, I didn’t say much about it and assumed she’d just stop.
But as time went on, she eventually talked about animal cruelty, and today was the breaking point.
Today she told me I should cut out red meat completely. She brought up animal cruelty and tried making me watch videos on YouTube. I told her I didn’t want to watch the videos and even if I did, I wouldn’t change my eating habits.
This led to her talking about how people don’t care about animals, animal slaughter, and how they’re raised.
This is when I got upset because I had never once commented about her eating habits. I told her that if she doesn’t want to eat meat, that’s her choice, but she shouldn’t force her beliefs on other people.
I also told her since she’s been watching those documentaries, her reality has been completely warped.
After some arguing, she has now gone to bed and hasn’t spoken much to me since the discussion.”
Another User Comments:
“You don’t have to change your diet if you don’t want to, but red meat 5/6 days a week is unhealthy, and incorporating more chicken and fish is a good idea.
I’m also vegetarian (of 18 years) but I agree with you that your partner shouldn’t be trying to change you just because she’s changed her own diet and viewpoints, and so recently too! Who’s to say she’s even going to remain vegetarian for more than a year or so?
People’s diets are personal, and meat is the easiest protein source. NTJ. Is it possible she feels unsupported in her vegetarianism and would appreciate it if you made full meals she could eat? One veggie meal per week is a reasonable ask as a compromise.” Anxious_Reporter_601
11. AITJ For Confronting My Daughter-In-Law About Her Constant Lies?
“I (56F) have a son and things have been tense because of his wife, “Emily” (28F).
I’ve noticed over the past year that Emily tends to stretch the truth or flat-out lie about things, both big and small. At first, it was little things like saying she couldn’t come to family dinners because of work, only to post on social media that she was out with friends.
Then it escalated to bigger things.
One example that bothered me happened recently. We were both supposed to attend a charity fundraiser. I was there the entire evening and never saw her. When I later asked if she had made it, she insisted that she had been there the whole time and even said she saw me but was too busy to come to say hi.
This wasn’t true—I know for a fact she wasn’t there. The volunteer’s list was small and I definitely would have seen her. We were all in the same room.
More recently, she lied about something involving a family event. We were planning a small gathering for my husband’s birthday, and Emily told me she’d arranged a cake from his favorite bakery.
The day of the party, she showed up empty-handed, claiming they “lost the order.” When I called the bakery to see what happened, they had no record of any order ever being placed.
That was the last straw for me.
I pulled her aside later and confronted her about her constant lying.
I tried to be calm and respectful, but I told her that her dishonesty was starting to affect how I viewed her and that it was creating tension in the family. She literally messed up my husband’s birthday with these lies.
She completely denied it and got upset, saying I was making her out to be a bad person and that I was overreacting.
My son got involved and is now angry with me.
The whole thing has caused a rift, and now Emily refuses to come to any family gatherings unless I apologize. I feel like I had every right to call her out, and I have nothing to apologize for.”
Another User Comments:
“Tell her to provide some proof – ANY proof – that she was in that store to place an order for a cake in the days preceding her statement and your husband’s birthday – and if she can, you’ll apologize. She can’t.
NTJ. Do enjoy the family gatherings with sincerity and honesty.” tosser9212
Another User Comments:
“If the bakery lost the order, they wouldn’t have a record of it, so you calling the bakery was pointless. This by itself is not a proof of anything. While I understand that her lying is frustrating, I also see mostly white lies, where she possibly didn’t want to hurt you.
Is she worried about disappointing you? Your disapproval? Is she also lying about something really serious, like money, affairs, or criminal history? Have you talked to your son?” MentionGood1633
10. AITJ For Selling My Inherited Home At Market Rate Despite Family's Lower Offer?
“My dad passed away in 2020. Before that, he bought out my grandma’s home in 2008 after his divorce.
There was a market crisis at the time and my dad paid off my grandma’s underwater refinance. My dad has two sisters and they never helped my dad with payments or upkeep on the house after it was in his name.
I lived in the home off and on after my dad passed away but I’m getting ready to move across the country for a job.
I don’t want to rent it out so I’m going to sell it as is.
My cousin (my dad’s sister’s son) offered to buy it from me at what he said was “market rate” because it was a fixer-upper. But my realtor thinks the going market rate is $200,000 more than what my cousin is offering.
I told him no and if he wants to buy the house he must speak to the realtor like everyone else. My aunt said she was going to sue me for my dad conning her out of a home and money.
I talked to my realtor and she sent me to a property lawyer for consultation and the lawyer said that’s not happening.
So I’m going on with my plan to sell the home. It goes on the market this weekend and my realtor already has a few showings lined up. A similar house sold in less than two weeks recently at our asking price.
My aunt said I’m the nastiest person ever because her son and his family are struggling and selling the house would help them a lot and they are only approved for what he said he could pay.
She said I didn’t do anything except watch my grandma and dad pass away and I’m now trying to make maximum profits off their deaths and not do what they would have wanted me to do.
I told my aunt my dad would have wanted me to live my best life and my aunt thinks my grandma would have wanted all of her grandchildren to live comfortably.
I told my aunt that it was on her for not helping my grandma out with her house when she needed it. My aunt tried to say she didn’t have the money and I told her just because her family is chronically broke that’s not my problem and I’m selling the house to the highest offer.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your Aunt wants her family to profit from your loss and your dad’s money, sweat, and tears. If they can’t afford the worth of the home, they need to move on to a home they can afford. It is not for you to take a loss for their benefit either before or after she spoke to you like that.
Additionally, it is never good to do business with family, if you sold to them they would end up suing you every time they had an issue with the home saying you knew of the defect and hid it from them, that’s why you sold so cheap and keep expecting you to come back and give them more money.
Stand your ground, live your best life like Dad wanted.” MrsNobodyspecial67
Another User Comments:
“It’s typical of relatives who, when a historically family property has been purchased, refuse to accept that it then falls without any form of inheritance that they would be eligible for.
They had the same opportunity to buy it but didn’t. I wonder, if they had $200,000 in gold and wanted to sell it would they accept $100,000 for it because that was all you could afford and you’re family? No. Moochers and grifters every one of them.
NTJ” East_Parking8340
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Unfortunately, death and inheritance bring out the worst in people. I’m unsure of what your aunt and cousin’s claim to the property was originally, but if you’re the sole name on the deed, you can do whatever you want.
I guess it comes down to the relationship y’all had. Doesn’t sound like it was great, and now they feel like you owe them something, but you don’t.” SandwichDIPLOMAT
9. AITJ For Wanting To Reduce The Amount Of Help I Give My Disabled Friend?
“I love my friend Mary (25F), who is physically disabled and uses a wheelchair.
We’ve been friends since college and she’s a nice person and we have similar interests, like going to concerts and events together, etc. However, being friends with Mary comes with a lot of challenges that have been harder to deal with the longer I’ve known her.
Over the past few years, I’ve helped Mary with everything from moving her laundry from the washer to the dryer to helping her off the toilet. I know it’s hard for her to ask for help and that she doesn’t want to feel like a burden and I can’t even imagine how difficult it is to ask for help with such intimate things.
However, it feels like especially recently, every time there’s something she needs, the task ends up being far more complicated than she originally described. For example, she needed me to go pick up something large for her from a store, which was fine, because it’s hard for her to pick things up, especially large things, in her chair.
So you know, it’s fine, I’m happy to help, that is until I went to two different stores and found that the only place that carries this thing is across town, 30 min each way. And this isn’t the first time a favor for her has ended up being much bigger.
So — would I be the jerk if I stop helping her, or at least do it much less often? I care about her, I do and I don’t want her to struggle, but also, if she needs help over once a week, I’m wondering if maybe it’s time for her to consider that she actually cannot live alone (that feels mean to say, but also true.
If you can’t do basic life things yourself, it feels like you need more help than just sporadic friends coming over can give you)”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here I would also be annoyed if someone asked me to pick something up for them at a store and it turned out I had to go to three different stores to get the item.
I don’t think this is about Mary being disabled, I think it’s about you feeling taken advantage of. I would just have an honest conversation with Mary about your capacity to help and your desire to be there for her as a good friend, and figure out if you can support her in either hiring staff or identifying other people she can also turn to for assistance at times two.” thinkevolution
Another User Comments:
“NTJ There are programs available to individuals who qualify for home health aides and companions and maybe it’s time for your friend to look into them. Also, there is durable medical equipment available to help disabled people function in their own homes.
It sounds like your friend needs to research what’s available to her to make living independently easier. She can’t rely on her friends and family to always be available when she needs help.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. When asking someone to pick something specific up from a store, it is not too much to expect that she knows what store carries it, and that it’s in stock to prevent you from running all over town.
This is the least you can expect to indicate that she is being respectful of your time. She can get on the computer or pick up the phone and call places before sending you out” MissAnth
8. AITJ For Refusing To Pay Half For My Partner's Decorative Purchases?
“I live with my partner and when we moved into the apartment we bought a new sofa, bedside cabinets, dining table and chairs, TV stand, and desk among others.
The kitchen already came fitted so we didn’t have to worry about that. We split the cost of the furniture 50/50.
Now our apartment is fully furnished with new furniture that all looks good and that my partner and I chose together. We’ve lived in the house for just under a year now.
My partner has started coming home with plants and other decorative items for the apartment.
She doesn’t discuss it she just buys them when she sees them. Now she’s started telling me the price of them and asking me to send her half of the cost. I refused as she’s the one deciding to get them.
I don’t want or need them and have no say in them being in the apartment so I’m not paying.
She recently started looking at a new bedside cabinet and makeup desk. She was showing me the ones she’d picked out and told me again how much and asked me to send her half.
I refused and told her these things are just things she wants, she doesn’t need them, and that if she wants to replace them she shouldn’t be expecting to do it with my money. She got annoyed and said I should be paying half. I asked why since it was her deciding she wanted them when she’s got a desk and table that is pretty much brand new.
I asked if she would pay half if I decided we needed a new TV but she didn’t answer. She just said furniture and decoration should be 50/50 but I again refused and told her I’m not paying half of the cost for everything that she just decides she wants.
She said I was being unreasonable since it’s my apartment too.
AITJ for refusing to buy furniture and decorations that I don’t want/need?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If she wants to split the cost of things, then they need to be things both of you want and will use.
I am assuming that as a man, you do not need a make-up desk (what even is that?) and that the regular, perfectly working and almost new desk you already have, suits all your needs and wants just fine. Just bringing furniture and decorations home even without the assumption/intention of getting half the money back from you is a jerk move.
If it’s going on display and taking up room in a joint space, everyone should get a say if they like it or not before it gets bought. You wouldn’t re-wallpaper the living room in zebra print without asking her if she was okay with it, or paint every item of furniture lime green because you like it and stuff what she thinks.
It’s about compromise and mutual respect, and right now, she isn’t showing any, just selfishness and a bit of greed.” UndeadMurderess
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here. Your partner doesn’t want to live in an undecorated “bachelor pad”. Furniture is not enough to make an apartment feel homey and comfortable.
I think everyone’s a jerk here because, her additional purchases should have been discussed ahead of time (i.e. we need some decorative pieces, can we split the cost if I see some things that match our space). I also agree that she should split the cost if you want to upgrade the TV or add anything else to the space.
Everyone saying “it’s your money” is correct but why move in with someone if not to build a life together and create a shared space that reflects both of you?!?” ak3307
Buy your TV and then ask for half. If she refuses she is a hypocrite
7. AITJ For Buying My Sister's Unwanted Nintendo Switch For £100?
“My little sister (F13) got a Nintendo Switch for Christmas about 2 years ago after begging for one for ages, she got it then proceeded to barely play it as she didn’t like the games she had for it, recently she’s been asking my parents if she could just sell it as we’ve got a vacation coming up and she wants to go out and buy some clothes for it and have spending money, I’ve (19NB) been wanting a switch for years simply because I wanted to play animal crossing so I told my sister I’d buy it from her and asked her roughly how much she wanted for it, she said £100 so I told her I’d speak to our mum about it because she bought it so really it’s her decision what it gets sold for and who to, I did and my mum agreed that £100 would be a fair enough price considering I’d be buying the only game I wanted for it so I told my sister I’d buy it from her once I got paid which was yesterday.
The second I got paid I sent the money to my mum’s bank account as my sister doesn’t have one and I wouldn’t trust her with £5 in cash, let alone £100 in cash but once I’d done it I let my sister know that I’d sent it over and it was hers, she just to confirm asked me how much I’d sent and I said £100 as we’d agreed, she then looked at me and said how she wanted £130 for it now as I’d lied when I said they were going for £100 secondhand, I told her it was already agreed on £100 and she can’t change her mind now to which she moaned a bit about it.
I don’t know where she looked because on the online marketplace, the switch is going for £90 – £100 with the stuff she has (console, dock, wrist straps) and in the game store if she’d had sold it there she would’ve gotten about £120 cash OR £170 store credit.
I spoke to my friend about it and she said that she thinks £100 is fair enough simply because she’s lucky I even offered to buy it off her rather than just asking her to give it to me considering she didn’t want it anymore.”
Another User Comments:
“Couple of questions. Was depositing the funds into your mother’s account an agreed-upon payment method? If you can go to the game store and sell it for $120 why can’t you buy it on the online marketplace for a hundred? Unless the online marketplace ones are in much worse shape or stolen.” Brilliant_Pea2108
Another User Comments:
“NTJ You made the offer, you offered what they were going for on the online Marketplace, the price was agreed upon…she’s just wanting more money because she found out that if she had done the work herself and tried to sell it herself at the gaming store she might have gotten 20 more.
She’s just being greedy.” Random-widget
Another User Comments:
“NTJ It’s a good lesson for her to learn. When I was young I once sold some of my Magic the Gathering cards to a guy in our card shop because I wanted the money for some new shoes or whatever.
My brother at the time wanted to beat the guy up. He massively ripped me off, but there wasn’t much we could do. But! It did make me question *every* single time I sold collectibles, electronics, jewelry, etc., of mine in the future! I always scope out prices now to estimate fair market value and demand.
It was a tough lesson earned early and this example is similar. The difference is you are her brother and have some remorse, but to be fair that is a decent price for a used Switch. If it was my brother I would have given him a slight discount instead of just selling it back to the game shop.” runrunpuppets
6. AITJ For Telling My New Coworker She's Not Training Me?
“I (23) have started a new job that I’m a week into. I was brought on by the manager/owner because I have a fair chunk of experience and he was looking for a plug/play situation. I have been managing a full-volume workflow while still figuring out where everything is/etc.
I have been receiving praise from the two owners and my other coworkers so I have been feeling that everything is going pretty well.
Until yesterday when my new coworker (32), who is in the same job role as me, confronted me at the end of the day and told me “You are resistant to be trained, and just because you have experience doesn’t mean you know how we do things here.”
She had snapped at me a few times in the past week when I had questions saying “This isn’t your other job.”
She then launched into telling me that the manager has this crazy temper and has made her cry, that she wasn’t allowed to do anything her first two weeks, and that she was just watching.
She mentioned that she didn’t have experience prior and that it was a very hard initiation.
She also told me that she is an easygoing person who everyone likes and it’s weird that I’m bringing tension into her space.
I was blindsided by this because I hadn’t been feeling this way at all.
I have been asking her questions and she has either not answered me or directed me to the manager.
I apologized for stepping on her toes and told her that I would be conscientious of listening to her. But ultimately she’s not training me and I have been learning as I go, I don’t have time to sit and watch how she does every little thing.
I also said that I’m not only getting to know the work but everyone that works here and that I didn’t feel we had the rapport for this to be anything more than a misunderstanding.
She was visibly upset and told me “You’ll see what he’s like.” She also said that she’s fine and that’s why she’s bringing it up because she doesn’t like how it’s been and she’s a nice person.
AITJ for telling her she’s not training me?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. This person seems to be under the impression that you asking questions means she’s your trainer. That’s not really how a job works. Just stop asking her the questions. Let her be the “nice person” she is in her mind.” BirthdayCookie
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – she said it herself, she did not have experience, and you have experience. The training situation would be different. Her beef is with the owner who is not very nice to her, not with you, but because she cannot take her frustrations to the owner, she’s taking them out on you as the new person.
This is not your problem. Avoid her, do your job. If the company is happy with you, that’s all that matters.” Yungeel
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I’m getting the vibe that she’s bitter that the manager hired you in the same role having previous experience, and said manager has not given you issues.
I’d venture to guess she had a lot of problems with them in her first days on the job, so she’s seeing you not have those same issues and she’s jealous. As for asking her questions, I think a decent coworker would answer here and there to be helpful (as long as it’s not excessive and taking them away from their job).
Her saying you are “resistant to being trained” without providing examples of that is puzzling, especially if you are asking questions about how they do things there. Whatever the case, stop going to her for questions. Also, FWIW, the fact that she has to tell you she is a nice person in this context probably indicates she’s not that nice.” Stranger0nReddit
5. AITJ For Threatening To Take My Uncle To Court Over Unpaid Work?
“I (16f) have an uncle (44m) who we’ll call David. Last month, I was talking to David about how I was looking for a job and I was complaining about how no one would hire me because of my age.
He suggested I work for him.
David is self-employed as a household cleaner; he makes a good living and I thought it was a nice offer and it would look good on a resume (considering all I’d have on there without it would be babysitting).
Well, anyway, I asked him what the pay would be and he said he’d pay me 15$ an hour and I happily accepted. I worked 25 hours a week for a month so I made 1,500$ but when I asked him when I’d be paid he asked me what I meant so I clarified and said “When will you be paying me for the 100 hours I worked?” He looked at me like I was crazy.
I thought I got the hours wrong so I checked again and it was definitely 100 hours I showed him the hours I worked and said “Yeah one hundred see” and then he said, “No, I got what you mean but why would I be paying you?”
I froze for a moment before I got mad and asked him why would he not be paying me and he told me that I was just helping him and being a good niece while his wrist healed (he sprained his wrist 3 months prior and it was fully healed).
I said that I wasn’t doing that work for free and if he wasn’t going to pay me like he said he would, I would take him to small claims court. After that, he got quiet and said he thought I was a better person and that family should help the family.
AITJ for telling him I would take him to court?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You need to document everything about this. See whether your parents will confirm the terms, do you have texts or emails or anything to prove your agreement? In small claims, a verbal agreement is often accepted (the burden of proof is lessened) and if you can backdate evidence that you understood you were being paid (even texts to third parties saying you aren’t free because you’re earning $15/h cleaning with your uncle) it will help your argument.
See if your parents will sort this out first. Next, send an email or registered letter to your uncle with an invoice (look up a free template online) for $1500 for 100 hrs of work completed between such and such date, and include a message in the email body stating that this is your third notice of payment due and that he will be leaving you with no choice except to bring this matter to small claims court should he not pay you in full by (insert a date minimum 2 weeks away)” Cute_Beat7013
Another User Comments:
“Wow. This guy. Document everything. Save text messages especially if it is referenced in writing that you agreed to being paid. Even if to someone else. Take him to court. Hold him to account stand up for yourself and find a better employer.
NTJ” Dwinxx2000
Another User Comments:
“Ask your Uncle why he would tell you your wage would be 15 dollars an hour and then claim it should be free. Family only claims that family should be helped for free when they’re trying to screw another family member.
If possible, text your Uncle again and request your wages. Hopefully, he’ll respond the same way and then you’ll have a record of him trying to avoid paying you. There should be a labor board in your area. Go there to report this. It’ll have long-lasting repercussions against your Uncle’s company.
Also, go to small claims court.” Garden_Lady2
4. AITJ For Refusing To Be A Father Figure To My Half-Sister After My Mom Was Unfaithful?
“My dad left my mom when I (15M) was 10 because my mom was unfaithful and dad found out my half-sister, who was 2 months old at the time, wasn’t his. He did a DNA test to check by the way. My parents fought a lot about Dad leaving and when he was doing divorce stuff he asked to be taken off my half-sister’s birth certificate and they fought in court about my dad wanting to sever ties with my half-sister.
Mom wanted him to take care of both of us. He only wanted me. Dad won.
My parents have 50/50 custody of me. My mom doesn’t know who my half-sister’s dad is. I heard her admit she was unfaithful a lot and had one-night stands with guys she didn’t even know the name of.
It broke my dad because I had another sister who was stillborn when I was like 6 and Dad questions whether she was his or whether he grieved for another man’s kid. I heard them argue about this stuff at the time.
I’d rather live with my dad.
I hate my mom for destroying our family. I hate her for having a kid with someone else. But I also hate her because she tries to get me to make up for my half-sister not having a dad. She’s always asking me to take more of an interest in my half-sister and to not say half and to be the male role model she needs.
She also told me I could talk to Dad about how unfair it is that he loved her for two months and then abandoned her and that he was wrong. She told me he did a DNA test on me so maybe he would have left me too didn’t I think that would be wrong after 10 years so why isn’t it wrong that he did it to my half-sister?
Before I left for my dad’s house Mom and I got into a fight and I told her I wouldn’t let her turn me into my half-sister’s dad because she was unfaithful. Mom yelled at me and she sent me dozens of texts since Friday night demanding I apologize and do better and saying I’m taking marriage issues out on her and my half-sister.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. But tell this all to your dad. Maybe he can use it in court to get full custody of you. Also, I don’t know the rules in your home country, but in some, you are allowed to choose with which parent you want to live after turning 14.” Trevena_Ice
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – She is manipulating you. Bravo for saying “No” to being her daughter’s father and “No” to chastising your father for his decisions! At 15 you set a boundary in your “I won’t…” statement; good for you. She pours enormous energy into exciting to mold you when she needs to focus on her life and choices.
Her daughter is not something you need to ‘fix’; she is solely responsible for this person. If you prefer living with Dad ask him if it’s an option. Judges often value and grant what a 15-year-old prefers. This internet stranger is proud of you for speaking your truth.” DesertSong-LaLa
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your mom sounds unwell. Like seriously mentally unwell. Are you, and your half-sister, safe in the home? I can’t even wrap my brain around how she thinks a man is going to support the child of a one-night stand when he is the one who was betrayed by that one-night stand. Too many men won’t even support their biological kids. She seems detached from reality.
It’s concerning that she has no idea who your half-sister’s father is. Your mom has been mentally unwell for a while now. Healthy people don’t behave like that. I hope she is a lot more cautious and discerning in her choice of partners these days, and isn’t bringing strangers home.
Getting therapy yourself to stay sane in all of this is a great idea. But, truthfully, your mom probably needs it even more.” LK_Feral
3. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Silence His Phone At Night After His An Affair?
“I (31F) am currently in a situationship with the father of my children. He (28M) was unfaithful to me last month and for the sake of our children, I am trying to forgive and move past it. Obviously, it hasn’t been that long since I caught him being unfaithful and I’m still healing and trying therapy, I’m even taking antidepressants since the incident.
One thing that bothers me in particular since I caught him being unfaithful is that the only reason I found out was that the other woman tried calling him and it woke me up. That being said, one of my triggers since that night is hearing a phone go off in the middle of the night.
I’ve had to silence my phone when going to bed otherwise even a tiny notification sets me off and I’m back to the initial trauma of just unrelenting depression.
Now, I tried letting him back in the same room as me last night.
I forgot to tell him that he needs to silence his phone at night and when his phone got a text late at night, it woke me up and I just started bawling. I don’t want to be upset but something just goes off when I hear a phone at night.
Anyway, he wakes up and is almost upset with me because I’m supposed to be trying to forgive him. I said that I was trying but he broke my trust and it was taking a lot for me to even be in the same room as him.
Fast forward to tonight. He’s staying with his parents and I just let him know about how the phone going off is a trigger for me and moving forward, he’ll need to silence his phone at night until I’m able to let this go.
He hasn’t responded yet but AITJ for bringing up the trauma he caused by being unfaithful? I hope it won’t be this way forever but I don’t know.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It’s been not even a hot minute since you found out about the unfaithfulness and it will take time to forgive and heal if you ever fully do.
He was the one that caused this so he has no right to tell you how quick to get over it. It’s not like you started yelling and screaming and bringing it back up, you just explained about the phone as a trigger. What has he been doing to show you he’s truly remorseful and trying to earn your trust back or is he just waiting for you to get over it or forget it so he can go about his merry life?” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“If you decided to forgive your husband after the unfaithfulness for the sake of your children and your feelings, that’s ok, but you have to commit to it. Go to therapy and rebuild your trust in your partner. If you can’t do that, if a simple message is going to get you to an irrational state of mind, then maybe you can’t mend your relationship and it’s better to get a divorce and reach an agreement that works best for your children.
You’re NTJ, but if you want to make it work, you have to relearn to trust your husband.” ResponsibleSeries274
Another User Comments:
“NTJ You did nothing wrong here. All you did was react naturally to a negative situation. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of how you process a traumatic experience.
You did the right thing by being honest with him about why you are upset. If both of you don’t have an honest and open conversation about this then it will be very difficult to move forward. It’s your partner’s job to support you when you are struggling.
If he gets mad at you for being honest with him then he is the jerk in this situation.” [deleted]
2. AITJ For Yelling "Shut Up" At My Husband While I Was Trying To Focus On My Assignment?
“And he was on the phone with his mother on speakerphone so she 100% heard it lmao.
I’m pretty sure I am the jerk, but let’s dig into it:
I am currently enrolled in online college and was working on a very elaborate and difficult assignment. I expressed to him many times that it was very stressful and I needed to put all of my attention and focus on my assignment, and to please not speak to me until I finish it or I will lose focus.
Despite this, he kept trying to talk to me.
I responded with things like, “I need to focus on this right now”, “Please don’t interrupt me”, etc. very calmly.
Finally, about an hour in and I’m literally ON THE CUSP of completing the assignment.
I’m on final calculations, everything has led up to this. He here comes for the 30th time to say something, and he angrily says, “When are you going to come eat!?!”
Me: I’m almost done. Please don’t interrupt my train of thought.
Him: Your food is getting cold!!
Me: I’m almost done. Please don’t interrupt my train of thought.
Him: Well when are you going-
Me: SHUT UP!
I honestly didn’t even mean to say that. I meant to repeat “I’m almost done.
Please don’t interrupt my train of thought” a third time, but instead “SHUT UP” came flying out when I opened my mouth.
I was surprised that I said it and felt bad, then felt embarrassed remembering his mom was on the phone with him.
I feel like I’m the jerk for obvious reasons, but I also feel like I was at an extremely high-stress level doing the assignment, explained beforehand that I needed to focus on it, and then throughout the entire hour kept calmly asking him not to interrupt me.
So, I partly feel that he’s the jerk and my response was somewhat justified.
He did shut up after that lol.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You had repeatedly told him that you did not want to be interrupted. You told him why. He did not respect your need for privacy.
And at a crucial moment he not only interrupts again, but he keeps going after you repeatedly asking him to not bother you. I think “shut up” was entirely reasonable given the circumstances. He wasn’t listening to you when you asked nicely so you needed to very firmly tell him to go away.
The core problem is his constant disrespect for your need for privacy and to not be interrupted. He owes you an apology at minimum.” cascadia1979
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – he’s so completely disrespectful to the point that I question if that behavior is sabotage.
The number of interruptions and complete disregard for your pleas for peace and how often you had to reiterate why makes me wonder if he resents your successes or future successes. Whether it’s that or he’s just incredibly rude, it’s insane. I hope you can get through school and this does not affect your grades and ability to learn.” sillybirb1995
1. AITJ For Not Renting My Apartment To My Sister's Blind Friend With A Service Dog?
“I (32F) own a small building I bought very cheap and fixed myself.
I am not a bad landlord, my price is fair and I keep the building in good shape, and fix any problems that appear. It’s relevant that I don’t accept animals in the building.
I had an empty apartment, so I put an online ad and got a few candidates.
I was talking to my sister(40F) who commented that I was searching for a new tenant.
I did my usual, showed the apartment, and asked the candidates to fill out a form. One of the candidates who came was blind, and he came with a friend.
During the visit he commented that he has a service dog, I did comment that as per the ad, I don’t accept animals. He informed me that since it is a service dog it legally doesn’t apply to his dog, I said ok, and moved the visitation to its end.
For me, he automatically went to last on the list. Besides not accepting any dogs, I know I have at least three tenants who are allergic to dogs, and I won’t inconvenience my already existing tenants.
I made my choice and called the candidates to inform them of my choice.
Later in the day, my sister called me very upset. Turns out the blind guy is my sister’s friend. She told me that her friend called and I said he wasn’t chosen and was upset. In tur,n she was mad at me, that he was great, the perfect tenant, and went on and on.
I told her I just made a decision based on my impression and background check. And had a candidate I liked more.
She told me she promised the apartment to her friend and I told her it’s not her property to make promises or decisions and to call her friend and apologize, I am not changing my choice.
This happened three weeks ago, and she wouldn’t respond to my texts or calls. And this weekend we had a family party and she gave me the cold shoulder all the time.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Just as you said, it is not her property to make that kind of a promise.
Even if you allowed animals, it would still not be her promise to make. She is upset you made her look bad to a friend. I would wonder how much she appreciates you as a person and a sister, because what she did was quite disrespectful, and entitled, and she continues to act like that.” SuccessDifficult5981
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, with a leaning towards ESH (except the prospective tenant). Your sister shouldn’t have promised her friend that he would get the property – it’s not hers to rent. I don’t know the laws around service dogs where you live, but denying him the rental specifically because of his service dog (which is a medical aid) could be illegal on the grounds of discrimination, so you may be the jerk here and he could have grounds to pursue legal action.
It’s tricky though, as you also have a responsibility to your other existing tenants who have allergies to dogs. You might want to get some legal advice on this matter in case it comes up again.” Pure-Philosopher-175
