People Keep Us Hooked With Their “Am I The Jerk?” Stories

“I’m an EMT. I’ve been at my garage for a year.

I’ve had partners I didn’t get along with, but I’ve never had any real problems and never had to go to management about anyone. It’s generally just that some personalities don’t mesh.

I was recently assigned a new partner on Sunday nights, my double tour, so she’s with me for the last 8 hours of a 16-hour shift.

From the beginning, I didn’t get good vibes from this girl. She’s a bit older and she’s never worked 911 before. She did work a year and a half on private ambulances. There’s a lot for her to learn. I understand this, and I’m pretty patient, but every time I tried to tell her something, I felt she was dismissive, with an “I already knew that” attitude.

Lots of interrupting, and when I’d refer to something I knew she didn’t know about, she didn’t bother to ask questions. So I gave up and stopped talking to her unless absolutely necessary.

Last week she confronted me in the crew room. She told me I came across as “mean.” She said other people were noticing it.

She said she went to our supervisor and requested to drop the shift. She said she didn’t tell the supervisor it was because of me, that it was a scheduling issue, but she told me it was 50% because of me. I listened to her. I said I never intended to make her feel bad.

I told her how I felt about her not listening, and that I generally don’t speak to people whom I feel don’t want to hear me. She said what I expressed wasn’t true. I ended the conversation by saying “I think the impression we have of each other in our heads is not who we actually are, and as long as we can listen to each other respectfully moving forward we won’t have a problem.”

One of my other partners walked into the crew room during our conversation and said good morning. She told him to leave because we were having a private conversation. This guy has 17 years with the agency. He left but asked me later what her deal was.

I told him the situation, and he couldn’t believe her audacity.

Today: 17-year coworker is her relief in the morning. If a unit gets hit with a late job right before their off time, sometimes the relief will take their job. 17-year coworker refused to take their ten-minute to off-time job, saying he “doesn’t hop on for snitches.” When she got back from the job (about 45 minutes later) she slammed the keys and radio on the desk in front of him and stormed out.

The partner she did the job with said she ranted: “17-year coworker would have never done that if Supervisor was there,” implying that she may go to our supervisor again.

I feel bad because she’s new, and I did freeze her out because of how she made me feel.

This is escalating quickly and I don’t want her to screw herself over because she feels she has nowhere to go but a supervisor. I feel like I might be the jerk because I told the 17-year coworker about our issues, and that led to more problems for her.

So, AITJ?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. The new person seems to see a problem with everyone but her own behavior. You handled her very well. I would have been the same and kept my mouth shut around her. Also, she feels that way on her own accord, not cause of something you did.

Her feelings are her own, yet she makes everyone responsible. Seems like she hasn’t learned that she is responsible for her own actions and feelings. She should be in learning mode, listening, getting advice, ask questions. Basically, shutting up! Your co-worker walked in on a situation, left, and asked what it was about.

I see no issue with you responding to the co-worker. You didn’t seek them out to report on the lunatic you have the pleasure of working with. After the exchange you two had, I would go to the supervisor anyway, just to give them a heads up as to what is coming their way.” Shoo_B_Doo_B_Doo

Another User Comments:

“INFO: are y’all BLS or ALS? I am assuming her private ambulance experience was mainly BLS. Are you EMT-B, A, or P, and what is she? I think what a lot of people here fail to realize is the difference between private EMS and city/county and how even just one mistake on the ambulance can kill a person.

Were you explaining things like the charting, where things are kept etc. or was it more basic knowledge of this is how you spike an IV bag and this is where the electrodes go on the chest? Also, did you go on any calls with her that demonstrated her skill set needed updating due to protocols or did you explain things before even seeing her with a patient?” Reddit User

Another User Comments:

“YTJ. Are you her FTO? Is she on orientation? I’m going to hope that there is an orientation process at your employer before she was put on a shift. If she just completed orientation, I would understand her saying she knew the things you were trying to show her.

Getting upset because she didn’t ask you questions, that you thought she didn’t know? With that attitude, I wouldn’t ask you anything either. You were testing her and you know it. What specific things has she done that have you concerned for pt safety?

Aside from she didn’t want to read your report and always gets a witness signature. Good on her for that. You can’t say that you have things that keep you on your toes, but don’t go to admin yourself. That’s not how this job works.

You have concerns, you take them up the rail to someone who can fix them. On her first shift, you made her so uncomfortable that she felt the need to go to a supervisor. Which is scary as heck when you’re new. Instead of telling them what was really going on, she asked for a new shift. She went to you in a professional way and talked it out, trying to keep it between the both of you.

Instead of returning the favor with your 17 year co-worker, you ran your mouth and started more issues. She has every right to go to the supervisor or to HR in the example of your co-worker. Your shift sounds like a nightmare and I hope she leaves it ASAP.” UpsetSky8401