Kilzer53
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Ntj in the slightest. U checked the selecting so she would be able to eat. This celebration is NOT for her or about her, yet she chose to make it so. She made her choice so let her live with it and if she mentions not being there, remind her that it was her choice. As for the dog comment, it's true.
Ntj. U and ur partner are still learning to be parents. Ur still learning about ur child and anything might happen which would need u and ur partners attention. Allergies may make themselves known during these first few months ths. Eyesight, hearing - these are things that parents need to pay attention to these first few months. Eating habits. Etc. This is NOT the time to be doing out ur child just because she's jealous of ur moms time. Ur partner needs to put her emotions aside and look at the situation rationally. That child is URS and HERS. There is not sane reason for ur mil to be making that request.
Ntj, but ur teaching ur child to avoid conflict and to avoid being able to calmly handle discussions. Children learn to handle conflicts by watching adults and if they see adults avoiding everything, they learn how to ignore and avoid everything. Nothing is resolved by avoidance. Ignoring the problem only prolongs, and, in most instances, makes the problem larger. U are an adult. Ur mother is an adult. It's time to learn to be an adult where she is concerned. Learn gow to calm and rationally talk to her, in front of ur child. Reinforce ur love for ur daughter and that she was not a mistake- in FRONT of ur daughter. Remind ur mom of what she's saying and ask her if she wants to continue having a relationship with her. Because, if she continues saying what a mistake u made in front of ur daughter, she will not be allowed to see her any longer. Arguing and conflict is ok. Telling ur daughter that she was a mistake is not.
U would be the jerk if u brought it up. It sounds as if u are wanting revenge on ur mom and this is the only way u can do it. U say u only want him to be happy, but if that were true, u wouldn't even be considering telling him.
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