People Want To Get Our Thoughts On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
35. AITJ For Not Wanting To Use Our Car?
“My parents got me and my brother a car to learn to drive with. I have now had my driver’s license for almost 3 years, he has had his in a matter of months. We split the fuel for the car 50/50 and the insurance 50/50. He will constantly collect girls with the car and go out for ‘a drive’ and use 100 miles of fuel in an evening and expect me, who does a maximum of 50 miles a week to fill the car up half the time.
Not only is he a bad driver, but we also have a Black Box in the car for people who are not aware of measures, speed, usage, and smoothness. It gives you a driving score out of 10 each day you drive. This, because of the way the insurance works, is in MY name.
When he didn’t drive I would score on average 9.5 which offers me a 30% discount each year, which amounts to about £450 per year. Now he is driving he speeds and uses the car in the early hours of the morning and has dropped our score to about 2 in just a couple of months.
This lost all the discounts I had gained and other perks for the insurance. If he crashes I will lose my No Claims Discount, which is the be-all and end-all for young drivers.
I confronted him about it and said he needs to be sensible and not use me for petrol money as it is getting out of hand.
He yelled and called me crazy and said he would go where he wanted when he wanted as fast as he wanted. All of this in front of my mum. I feel bad for her and the only reason I stuck with it this long and didn’t argue with him is because she and my dad worked so hard to get our family where we are today and didn’t sacrifice herself to bring up a spoilt brat.
I told her I was sorry for my brother and told her that I was buying my own car, she seemed upset, and that I wouldn’t be using it until I got my car unless it was an emergency. I also said she needed to take my name off the insurance plan so it doesn’t affect me.
I am moving out this year and will need to get my own car anyway but I cannot afford the extra money if my brother carries on like this. My city is very very expensive. She told me I was free to do what I wanted to do.
She is still upset we can’t share nicely. I told her that I love her and that we were privileged to have that car and that my brother might one day learn that but until then I am not being mugged off for money by him and his partner who has to be driven everywhere, god forbid if she has to get a bus.
Am I the jerk?”
34. AITJ For Not Wanting To Join My In-Laws' Archery Activity?
“I (29 F) love archery. I have my own recurve bow made out of nice wood and my own targets and my husband (29 M) has been super supportive of my hobby until today.
We are at my MIL’s house and we brought our archery gear because my younger BIL’s kids (14 and 16) also enjoy the hobby. Their side yard is pretty large and typically that’s where they shoot. I have never seen them shoot there before though and when I walked out to the target set up I instantly felt it was unsafe.
While the target is far from the back fence, an arrow loosed too high definitely would hit the neighbor’s house behind it, at the minimum, and they don’t have a backstop for their target.
So I refused to shoot that way and let them know I wouldn’t but obviously, I can’t control what they do.
They wanted me to shoot with them so they asked for suggestions and I had it set up where there was a lot of dense foliage background, which was going well until my other BIL (26) who is not practiced at all didn’t listen to my instruction to aim his arrow further down before he let it loose.
It ended up flying about 10 ft above the target and we can’t find whether it landed in the large bamboo area behind it or if it went further past but we did hear it hit something.
So after trying to look for it and not finding it, they want to move the target back to where they typically keep it.
I said that’s fine but if the same situation happened that arrow would hit the neighbor’s house so I am not comfortable and won’t participate. My husband got mad and said well fine we just all won’t then (he doesn’t want to be solely responsible for our kid (4 M) being out there with him also wanting to shoot because apparently I was the only one patient enough to help guide him to shoot properly).
I got a few nasty looks and my younger BIL got an attitude with me and they all walked away. My husband isn’t talking to me now.
AITJ for trying to remove myself from an uncomfortable situation that I felt was dangerous?”
33. AITJ For Snapping At My Mother-In-Law At My Engagement Party?
“I (22 F) have been with my fiancé (25 M) for four years now. Between us, everything is great. But my MIL doesn’t like me at all me due to our differences, two different cultures, and three generations between us. I always make an effort to keep a polite environment, but she’s always making passive-aggressive comments about every single thing regarding me.
At first I would demand more respect for me and my beliefs, likes and dislikes, but lately I ignore it and usually don’t let get to me. My fiancé doesn’t say anything and when he does, is just a way of him trying to justify what she said.
My fiancé and I already discussed it. He always says that me and mil have to work it out. Which is something I already tried, but it only makes things civilised for a couple of days. She has it out for me and doesn’t want to clear things between us neither has no intentions of having a cordial relationship with me.
I just want her to respect me as much as I respect her.
I limited my contact with her to the bare minimum. When I have to be with her, I keep ignoring her and her negative comments towards me. What made things easier.
Until the day, she made a super inappropriate remark about my dress at my engagement party.
She said it loud enough so that every single person in the party could hear it. The whole party went silent. I lost it, I was used to her disrespecting me every single time she saw me, but in front of the whole family and all of my friends was just too much for me to handle with disregard.
I asked her loudly, as well, how miserable she had to be to make my life around her miserable, and then I went on about how inappropriate it is to turn a happy occasion into awkward, just because she doesn’t like my dress.
After the incident, everyone from his family said I should go apologize to my MIL for embarrassing her and for being a jerk by causing a scene on a lovely occasion.
They think I should’ve resolved it in private. I don’t see how I get to be disrespected in public and then continued silenced throughout the whole event like nothing happened. My fiancé says I reacted to her being wrong and I have nothing to apologise for.
I really need other people’s judgments to help me see this whole situation better.
So AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Not Wanting To Talk To My Dying Father?
“I (22 F) just found out that my father (54 M) is dying of stage 4 esophageal cancer and I am refusing to speak to him.
For a little backstory, my father and I have absolutely no relationship. Without going into detail he was EXTREMELY abusive toward me.
He has also disconnected from and lashed out at his entire side of the family but my mother, sibling, and I got the brunt of it. I have been in extensive therapy and still am due to it. I have tried for years to cultivate any form of a relationship with him but he would always resort back to his abusive nature and would never admit to the hurt he has caused me and my family.
I finally gave up last year after he called me telling me his mother was dead and began to rant about what a horrible person she was, how she brainwashed me and my sibling, and that he was sorry for my loss. To say the least, I was extremely shocked when his mother picked up the phone and told me she was enjoying her day out at brunch with her friends.
We have been in no contact since.
I found out two weeks ago and the past two weeks have been a bombardment of text messages from him begging for my forgiveness and asking me to speak to him. This is where I think I might be the jerk.
I absolutely REFUSE to speak to this man. I’m sorry for what he is going through but I don’t want to subject myself to his mistreat again.
The past two weeks have just been making me relive my memories over and over again. He’s hysterical and it’s gotten to the point where I have to turn off my phone.
If I block him he texts me from another number or makes a new iMessage account. I just want the silence back of my normal everyday life where I forget he exists. My stepmother keeps pushing me to talk to him.
While I do not speak to my father, I do care for my stepmother.
Apparently, she was in a very similar situation herself and her father also died of cancer. She keeps talking to me about how she sucked it up and it is my father’s dying wish to talk to me again and that I’m better off just talking to him.
They are both saying that my refusing to talk to him is just petty and I’m only further perpetuating a cycle of hate. I am depriving him of his last chance to be a father and make amends.
At first, I was really firm in my belief that I was doing the right thing and wasn’t the jerk in this situation, but now I’m starting to wonder if they’re right.”
31. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Mom Any More Money?
“Last October, I decided to get a part-time job so I could pay for my monthly expenses. I usually don’t spend on much so I’m happy with the slightly above minimum wage paycheck I get. It’s my mom who thinks that I’m all of a sudden mature enough to take care of things she should be doing while she is off blowing her money on completely random crap.
In February, she decided to go on a trip to Egypt, leaving me in charge of the house for an entire week. When she returned from the trip, she asked me to help her cover the bills since she had barely any money left after the trip.
When my dad (who I have little connection with) heard about the trip, he decided to start sending the €100 of child support payment to me, just in case.
Just a few weeks ago she returned from a trip to Portugal that she took off for a week.
She was annoyed at how dirty the house was and how I hadn’t cut the grass. I told her that I had no time between school and work which prompted her to mow the lawn on the weekend. She asked me to go to the gas station and get some gas for the mower, paying out of my own pocket of course.
I had eaten takeaway fast food for a week because I had no time to cook at home so my savings were stretched pretty thin after that.
The last straw for me was when with no warning my mom took my duffel bag and went to the other side of the country for the weekend.
The thing is that I had a race to attend that same weekend and that very same duffle bag was the only one we had that comfortably fit all my gear, including the crash helmet. I called her to ask how long and where she had gone this time, explained that I needed the bag and she knew that I needed it that weekend.
She tried to excuse herself by saying that she had forgotten and didn’t realize how long she would be gone. She was a math teacher for a private school, teaching seniors for a decade and she forgot the date of my first ever big race?!
She claimed that she took it because it was more comfortable for her stuff and that we had plenty of bags for me to take. (Oh the hypocrisy.) I started ranting about her recent habit of deciding on things on a whim when they really shouldn’t be and how irresponsible she has been with her money recently.
She then started to yell that I was being a penny pincher and had all this money for no purpose. I told her that I was saving it for something in the future. It’s not like I haven’t spoken to her for months about me saving up money to buy a moped.
As she seems to have no interest in me besides the dribble of money I bring in for her to blow on random crap she can’t cover, I decided that I won’t be giving her any money. No matter the situation, from now on, it’s her fault for not paying the bills.
I hung up the phone and instantly felt regret but at the same time I felt good for finally telling her.
As my friends and family seem to struggle to pick a side to stand with, I’ll ask you.
AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Not Giving My Partner Access To My Google Home?
“I own a Google Home system in my house I rent. I have an outdoor floodlight camera by my main door, an indoor camera, a nest speaker, and a nest hub. I also have smart lights connected to my Home and have plans to upgrade to having a full smart home set up with various automated and voice-controlled functions.
I enjoy seeing my dogs or possible wildlife in my yard, knowing when people are coming to my door in advance, and yelling my various commands at Google to get it to do fancy things with my lights.
Just over a month ago, I had my partner move in with me, as they were in a bad spot with their living situation and I wanted to help.
He was aware of my cameras and system before he moved in. The lights, speakers, and hub can be voice-controlled by anyone, and the cameras can be viewed on the hub. However, any kind of special functions, changing devices, notifications, remote camera viewing, etc are tied behind my voice recognition and associated with my Home account on my phone.
When he moved in, he stated he wasn’t comfortable with the indoor camera located somewhere like the living room or kitchen, because he likes his privacy and didn’t like the idea of me randomly checking the cameras to check on my pets (which were the original intent of the camera ) and seeing him picking his nose or something weird.
I thought that was reasonable, and I have the camera now in my office. There is no reason for him to be in my office so he would not be seen on the camera there unless he came in the room, and it’s where I keep all of my valuable things, so it seems the most reasonable place to keep it.
He knew that was where I had placed it, as opposed to any of the communal areas like he requested.
Yesterday, he asked to have access to my Google Home to be able to view the cameras whenever he wants. He stated that when he gets a job, he wants to be able to see the yard camera or people at the door if he is not home.
I stated that if something happens worth mentioning then I can notify him. If you have a Google Home product, you would know giving someone Home Access gives someone full control over your Home system, including removing you from the Home. I declined, saying I wasn’t comfortable with giving him full access.
He got extremely upset with me for not giving him access, stating that not giving him access means I must be hiding something from him if I don’t want him to see the cameras when he is away, and declining him access just proves it, and that I am paranoid for keeping one in my office.
If I get to view the cameras at any time, he should be able to as well. He stated if I don’t give him access, then he will just buy his own camera. He could not give me an actual reason, other than he just ‘wants to’.
There was a bit more to the argument, but those were the points that stuck out to me.
AITJ for not being comfortable and being paranoid?”
You fixed the situation & moved the camera to your private office. I'd bet he's looking to hide something from you from the sound of your post.
If you don't mind then let him put up a camera, but don't give him access to your information.
29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Join A Family Vacation While I'm Pregnant?
“Back in 2020, my family (mom, dad, two brothers, one sister, and partners) had a vacation booked to go abroad (to a place we used to go when I was a child). My mom, my dad, my sister, and I (and our husbands) live in the country we grew up in but my brothers and their partners live in other countries on the complete opposite side of the planet – so we don’t see each other very often.
Unfortunately, the global crisis hit and the trip was canceled. Same issue with the global crisis in 2021 and we said maybe it could happen in 2022 (nothing booked or firmed up).
In December, I found out I’m pregnant and due on August 4th. Last month, one of my brothers messaged and said he was booked to come back to our home country around the time of the birth (arriving two weeks before and leaving two weeks after the due date).
He and my mom then decided to try and do this vacation. Each time it was mentioned, I said that I couldn’t really do it because I’d either be heavily pregnant or have a very young newborn – but this comment was basically ignored completely.
Eventually, my husband messaged and pointed out that there were massive delays in getting birth certificates and passports and that, that late in the pregnancy, I wouldn’t be legally able to fly. So, he made it clear that (even if we did everything within our power to go) we couldn’t go.
Then my mom messaged me with a link to a place in our country that we could drive to (it’s about a five-to-six-hour drive) that she wanted to book for two days after my due date for ten days. She specifically said in the message this idea was so that we could attend.
My husband basically put his foot down and (politely but firmly) said we weren’t going to go on any vacation at that time, that we didn’t know when the baby would be born, that the pregnancy was already high-risk and I had complications so we can’t do it.
This was three weeks ago and my brother and sister haven’t spoken to us since, including ignoring my son’s birthday. My mom has said that my brother and his partner wanted me to book a c-section for July 27th (that’s the earliest my country will allow without medical need) and that then we could go on vacation in our country because the baby would be 9 days old.
I don’t want a c-section to be honest. Even if I did have one when they wanted me to, I don’t want to drive that far just after a c-section and with a tiny baby. I also don’t want to pay the amount of money this vacation will cost (almost a month’s wages) when I won’t enjoy it.
I don’t think I’m a jerk, but everyone else in my family thinks I am. They say that I’m ruining the vacation plans and that I’m risking my brother not getting to meet the baby if she’s overdue. From my perspective, he could’ve booked different flights with a lot less inconvenience and pain and risk.”
28. AITJ For Walking Out On My Dad And His Wife Because Of A Sensitive Topic?
“I (14 F) visit my dad every week, most of the time he isn’t around so I just talk to my stepmom (42 F). We have a very good relationship, with very few problems.
Last weekend, I visited my dad as usual, and the topic of banning of termination of pregnancy that is currently being argued in America came up.
This is when I learned that my stepmom is a pro-lifer. We had an intense debate over it that lasted about an hour. I am quite passionate about this subject and I am very educated on it, I think that anyone who believes that termination of pregnancy should not be legal is wrong and is refusing human rights.
I made this clear during the debate.
During the argument, she claimed that it is not fair that women should be able to go and terminate their pregnancy whenever they want to, pushing that the women should be more responsible. She then continued to claim that the government should not have to pay for an ‘irresponsible woman’s mistakes’.
At this point, my eyes started to tear up as I cry when I get frustrated. My stepmom then decided to use this as a way to win the debate, by starting to shame me and laughing at me for crying, I explained that I was frustrated and when I get frustrated I cry, which she already knew, I then excused myself and went to the bathroom to clean myself up.
My dad came upstairs to console me, then I told him that I needed a break and that I was going for a walk. So I got up and left.
Once I had walked for about 20 minutes, I decided I wanted to go home. so I texted my dad and told him I was going to go home and my mam was going to pick me up, to which he asked me to come back and that my stepmom had left. I agreed and told him that I was only staying for an hour.
When I got there, my dad told me that my stepmom was coming back as it was pouring rain, I warned him that if she started the argument again I would leave. He nodded and told me that was reasonable and that he wouldn’t blame me.
When my stepmom got back, she immediately started yelling at me for having started trouble between her and my dad, and that I shouldn’t have walked out as it was very irresponsible and immature. After shouting at me for 5 minutes, my dad was giving her a glare, and when she noticed she asked me to shake hands and have it all settled with.
I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want my dad to be upset as I know how much he appreciates my and my stepmom’s relationship and doesn’t like to see us fighting.
Although the fight had ended, I still texted my mam and asked her to pick me up, as I told my dad I would.
My stepmom then started to yell at me again telling me ‘I should just stay because the argument was already over’ but I refused, and when my mam arrived, I said goodbye to my dad and left.
I feel bad for causing trouble up at my dad’s house but overall I think it was unfair of my stepmom for yelling at me for wanting to leave.
So AITJ for walking out?”
27. AITJ For Giving Out Handmade Gifts?
“I’ve got a terminal disease. I’m still under treatment, but let’s say the prognosis is that my Mayonnaise is going to expire (August 23, 2023) after I do.
I’ve been making two types of gifts when I’m able: gifts for now, and gifts for after.
The gifts for now are figurines that I paint to be as over the top as I used to be. Each person gets their own figurine to hopefully remember me and how full of crap I was/am. (I’m NOT artistic by trade, so these are really cheesy).
Recently I painted this dorky-looking creature for my niece, and a more tasteful and subdued planter for my sister.
My niece LOVES her item. My sister… told me she thought hers was ok, but that I had no right to make gifts for other people without asking their permission first, so rejected the gift. I said I could ship it but she flat out said no. She said it wasn’t anything she ever wanted. So far she’s the only one who has rejected her gift.
I also confided in her about the ‘after gifts’ and she told me I was flat-out being a bigger jerk for those. (For example, one person considers himself a master handyman (spoiler: he’s really not good). So his ‘after’ gift is an expensive ‘How to Fix or Build Anything’ book with step-by-step illustrations… and a box of plastic baby toy tools (saw, hammer, screwdriver, etc.) and a note saying ‘got to walk before you run’).
I ran it past my mom and she laughed and said it was perfect.
My sister insists I’m just trying to be a jerk from beyond the grave and should spend the time productively. I think she’s mad that she’s not the executor, but her actions in the past and present make her literally the last person I would trust with any responsibility.
For example, she badgered me for 30 minutes today, telling me I needed to just ‘turn my house keys back to the bank.’ (I have $130k in equity in the house and am making mortgage payments regularly). I guess I’m a jerk for leaving it for the executor to sell.
I told her I had had multiple discussions with my executor and lawyers and we are in agreement on how this is going to go, details she doesn’t need to know about.
I’m not trying to be a jerk – the thing is, many days I get really sick and can’t do much beyond laying on the couch.
However, it’s relatively easy to use paint pens or write letters to the nephews/nieces for their 21st birthdays while I’m lying down trying not to throw up air for 45 minutes for the third time that day.
So let me have it: am I a jerk for making gifts instead of giving my home back to the bank, selling all my possessions, and paying for a burial plot and headstone (I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered in the region I grew up in as a child)?”
26. AITJ For Banning My Aunt's Daughter From My Home?
“I (24 f) have a son who we will call Charlie (4). My aunt has a 7-year-old daughter who we’ll call Sara.
Now before I begin the story of why I banned Sara and her mother from my home, I want to tell some details about Sara.
She’s an only child to older parents, I included that because my aunt uses it as an excuse for not correcting Sara’s bad behavior.
She says she and her husband are just ‘way too tired’ to fight with her after working all day. Sara has a history of bullying Charlie, saying that he’s annoying, she doesn’t like him, and overall just being kind of a jerk to him. But Charlie just loves having other kids to play with.
Aunt, Grandma, Sara, Charlie, and I were hanging out in my backyard. Sara and Charlie had been swimming, and Sara decided is he wanted to get some toys so I told the kids to go ahead, but grab the toys and come right back outside.
My aunt, grandma, and I were sitting outside talking when I noticed my dog was no longer barking, but I just thought, ‘The kids are inside so he’s calmed down.’ Then, I heard kids talking, but just assumed it was my neighbors as they have kids who are always outside.
Then, Charlie, Sara, and my dog are coming down the stairs and into the backyard. My dog visibly needs to go potty, so I grab the leash and say that I’m going to take him to the front yard to pee, Sara then says, ‘Oh, he already peed in the front yard.’ and that’s when I realize, they were the kids I heard outside.
I asked if they had taken the dog out, and they said yes. Now, before I sound like a real jerk, I want to say that Charlie is not allowed in our front yard by himself because we live on a busy road, where people have a tendency to go way over the speed limit, Charlie also knows he is not to mess with our dog unless there is an adult present, because he is an animal and although he has never shown aggression to Charlie, or any other child that has been in our home, it is just a precaution.
I gave Charlie a lecture about how he knew he was not to take our dog outside by himself, especially in the front yard. He then said something along the lines of ‘I know, mommy. But Sara wouldn’t listen to me.’ I once again, calmly said to Charlie and Sara, it’s dangerous to be in the front yard, the dog could’ve gotten away from you guys, and before I could even finish what I wanted to say about how they could also have gotten hurt, my aunt said ‘Yeah!
Doggie could’ve gone splatty! Hahahaha.’ This grown woman LAUGHED about my dog possibly getting hit by a car. I then said, ‘Or god forbid, Charlie and Sara.’
I sat there for a minute, and the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.
I finally just said, ‘You know, I think it’s time for you guys to go and I think it’s best that you and Sara just don’t come back.’ My aunt didn’t say anything, just got in the car with Sara and left. My grandma told me I needed to learn to take a joke.
AITJ?”
This kid is also a bully. Keep reminding your son if he knows it's wrong to do & the other person still does it, he needs to get an adult immediately.
NTJ at all. Not to mention sure they could get injured, but what if someone pulls up & abducts one or both of them?! Stay NC with them.
25. AITJ For Not Letting My Niece Into My Room?
“Until my niece was 5 years old, she and my sister lived with my parents. Every morning she would get my niece up and take her to daycare.
I’m disabled, the one and only job I’ve ever had was at a local coffee shop. My manager had me working with one of the senior staff members because of my disability.
I would stock, and the other staff would serve people. Even then, I was leaving every shift with a major panic attack. I ended up being fired because of my disability, about 3 months after I was hired. That was when was when my niece was 2 years old.
When my niece was small, my sister would come home from work, get the kid’s coat and shoes off, and that was it. she would spend the rest of the evening staring at her phone. Leaving my parents and I to take care of my niece.
Now I get the need for a mental break after spending the day policing a group of kids under the age of 4. But what my sister was doing was beyond taking a break. The second she got home my sister expected me to be the one to keep my niece occupied. I get my sister wanting me to spend quality time with my niece.
And I absolutely adore the kid. But I’m Autistic. Autistic adults find social interactions with other adults stressful, let alone kids.
It went on like this for months. I was burnt out. Normally I would escape to my room, but I couldn’t do this because my parents were working and with my sister acting the way she was, I was the only one around to watch my niece and make sure she was safe and entertained. I would be okay with this, but I wasn’t getting ANY breaks.
I had become a live-in babysitter, when I was around, she wasn’t. So, I came up with a plan. When my sister would get home, I would go upstairs to my room, close my door, and stay upstairs until my niece was in bed. If only to force my sister to get off of her phone and parent.
I was a month or so into my little protest. My sister was paying more attention to my niece, but she was still stuck on her phone a good chunk of the time. My niece came up to my room and started to pound on my door, asking me to come out and play with her.
She’s done this before and when I answered, she would get me to play with her, and my sister would be mentally gone for the rest of the evening. I knew that if I wanted to succeed in not being solely responsible for my niece, I’d have to stop answering.
Things came to a head one night. My niece came upstairs and was knocking on my door like usual. The only difference is that I didn’t answer the door. My niece kept knocking and calling out to me. This went on for a while with my niece getting more aggressive with each knock.
Finally, my sister came up, yelled at me, told the kid I didn’t want to play, and took her back downstairs. After that, my sister started relying on my parents to take care of her kid. But like me, they had caught on to what was happening and weren’t happy.”
24. AITJ For Calling Out How My Mom Treats My Dad?
“My (22) mom (53) has been ill since she was 12. She grew up being told she would die before 30 and would never have kids. My dad (52) always wanted a big family but decided he loved her and accepted it. Her pregnancy with me was a happy surprise for them both.
Her treatment has many side effects: for a year we thought she was going to lose her sight (she did, partially), she has almost no immune system, growing pain, and sudden anger outbursts. My dad knew this from the start and I grew up with it so we’ve been nothing but supportive.
4 years ago she was declared in remission. She stopped her treatment and part of her symptoms disappeared (pain, anger, tiredness, cravings). Things were going better but in 2020, she had an infarctus. For 2 months we didn’t know if it was related to cancer and if she was dying.
She forbade my dad to tell his family because she’d had no contact with his mom for years. They moved out to a new city 1 year prior so my dad had no one but me to open up to (I isolated from them but lived 8 hours away) but didn’t because he wanted to protect me.
I was angry at her but didn’t insist when she shut me off when I talked about it afterward.
I’m here for the summer as she needs to undergo a heavy procedure in December. I’m shocked.
My dad is very social but has been completely isolated for 5 years.
I thought they needed to adjust to the new place, but then the global crisis happened. But she still forbids him from going out for activities while she goes out on her own. He has no friends because she refuses every invitation he gets because people are too ‘uneducated’ for her PhD or too ‘pretentious’ and she feels self-conscious (she’s been a stay-at-home mom).
Since her stroke, her anger management issues are back. She screams, cries, and locks herself in their room at any contradiction or annoyance (ie him buying the wrong bread). My dad does his best not to contradict her but he is miserable.
Recently my dad’s dad was diagnosed with cancer.
My mom secretly called his doctor and she told her it’s worse than he told us and he probably is terminally ill. My mom’s been awful about it, telling my dad if he ‘wasn’t so afraid of illness he would have seen it sooner’, that he’s ‘gonna be a slave to his mother when his father dies’… I confronted her but she cried and told me she was the one miserable because she discovered the truth and had to tell my dad.
My mind went blank and I told her not everything was about her and ‘I don’t know why dad stays with you’. I apologized but still think about what I said even tho I know her health plays a big part in her behavior. AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Not Continuing Reaching Out To My Best Friend For My Wedding?
“I (23 f) recently got engaged in the middle of June during a trip with my fiancé’s family. I immediately called my friend (24 f) to ask if she would be my maid of honor and she said yes. Let’s call her B. When I get back I make a group chat with my bridesmaids.
B and I see each other a few times before she starts mentioning this guy that she works with who’s twice her age. I tell her to be cautious.
She’s always had a thing for older guys, her first real relationship when we were 18 was with a 40-year-old married man with 4 kids.
I supported her because according to her the wife was fine with it… at first. When she started telling me that he recorded her the first time they slept together without her knowing. And when they really started having problems towards the end of their relationship, he started just dropping her off at my house as early in the morning as 7 am with her crying every time they would argue because he just didn’t ‘have the time to deal with her’.
Through all of that, I was there for her.
Fast forward to now, we set a day aside to see each other so could talk to her about the wedding and what I would need from her. From the moment I pick her up, she is on FaceTime with him.
Which I don’t mind, until 2 and a half hours later she is still on the phone and we haven’t even been able to speak. I take her home after assuming she is just busy, tell her I love her, and leave.
End of July I asked the chat about their dresses, and everyone responded except her.
I waited a week and texted her personally about it and called once, but still nothing. We are about a month away from my wedding and I haven’t heard from her so I asked one of the other girls to take her place. My fiancé is saying I should call again but B is the type of person to have her phone all the time so she had to of seen it at some point.
Even texted her mom, crickets. AITJ for not continuing to reach out?”
22. AITJ For Practicing Putting Makeup On My Brother?
“So I (18 F) am a senior in high school, and I am planning on going to cosmetology school next year. It’s been a dream of mine for a while, and I’m really excited about it!
My parents aren’t big fans of my choice of schooling, but they’ve said that it’s my decision in the long run. My twin brother (18 M) has been a lot more supportive than my parents on my career choice. We’ve always had each other’s backs, and he is my favorite person in the world.
One of the biggest things he’s done recently to show his support is to let me practice makeup on him (I know, it’s a little early to start doing this, but like I said, I’m excited!) It started when I jokingly asked to put some on him, he jokingly accepted it, and we just rolled with it.
Now he actually offers to be my muse LOL, and he always seems to rock it! We always wash everything off after, but I’m sure he would continue to wear it if it were more acceptable in society.
A few days ago, I wanted to get more practice with acrylic nails (if you don’t know, this is like a long-term set of nails/nail polish).
I have very little experience with this (other than my own nails), so I asked my brother if he would be okay with me practicing on him. I warned him that he might have them for at least a couple of weeks and that I could ask a friend if he said no, but he said that he’d do it!
And now he’s sporting some light pink nails (they look great on him, by the way!)
Here’s where the issue I’m here for comes in. After I had put the nails on him, our parents came home after running some errands. They saw his nails and started getting angry at both of us, saying that we should be embarrassed and that he couldn’t go walking around like that.
It got so heated that both of us were crying from them being angry.
Since that day, my brother has been really quiet. He hasn’t asked me to take the nails off (even though it would be kind of hard to), but it just seems like he’s not happy about the situation.
This is why I’m here to see if I was wrong for what I did. So, AITJ for putting makeup on my brother?”
You're both 18 & legal. Talk to him & let him know there's nothing wrong. Stick together like both of you always have. Tell your parents to back off & maybe both of you move out. Good luck to both of you
21. AITJ For Being Mad At My Aunt For Giving My Trumpet Away?
“I (24 f) used to be a trumpet player and was given a trumpet from my grandpa that was passed down from his dad, my great grandpa.
This trumpet began its cycle in my family in the 80s and it’s been passed from my two uncles and eventually to me in 2008. I played for 5 years and eventually quit because my stepdad at the time used to be super critical and I was rebellious so I quit as a means to get away from his criticism but the actual instrument always meant a lot to me.
It was gifted to me in those 5 years I played so it became mine officially but I wanted to continue the tradition of passing it to our family if they ever wanted to try playing. Also, my grandpa had the trumpet engraved with our last name on it and it just added to the sentimental value…
ANYWAYSSSSS that’s the backstory behind it.
Now about 6 years ago, I hadn’t been using the trumpet until my aunt called and asked if my cousin could use it because he had an interest in playing (and his dad is one of my uncles who used it before).
Excitedly I sent it to my cousin and couldn’t wait to see where this musical journey would end up… It ended not even a year later due to lack of interest but eventually, my aunt never returned the trumpet to me; instead, she gave it to her nephew on her side of the family.
And that nephew lost it while moving houses… It’s apparently been lost for over 3 years and no one bothered to tell me about it.
I recently asked for it back (2 months ago) because I wanted to get back into it as a way of therapy (lots of emotional baggage that is easy for me to release through music) and my aunt was dodging me for about a month and a half and finally I asked straight up for my trumpet back and was told to ‘get over it… things happen and life isn’t fair… it’s really sad that you’re (me) upset over a silly instrument’.
While I do think I may be a bit sensitive, my mom and grandma are both extremely upset because they think it was irresponsible to loan my stuff to someone else without telling me and that no one is offering to replace something so valuable.
I agree with them because, at the end of the day, it was a family heirloom for us. It was special and I feel like she’s being the jerk for being so insensitive and mean about it. I see her point of ‘I shared it with my family so it’s fine’ but I still don’t think it was okay to give my things away without asking and bottom line, not replacing what was lost.”
They had no right to lend it to someone else & not ask you first. She needs to replace it with something else that can be passed down if she can't get it back. What an inconsiderate uncaring witch she is. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
20. AITJ For Wanting My Wife's Friend To Pay For Our Meal?
“My wife and I have a friend named Kay. We’ve been acquainted with her for about 10 years and during that period, we’ve had her over to our house 100 different times. This includes holidays, weekly dinners, and her birthday each year, where my wife cooks the meal and dessert of Kay’s choice.
Since we’ve known her, she’s invited us to her house exactly once, and that was for her kid’s birthday party when she ordered pizza.
For some context, Kay is a single mother but makes a good living. She also cooks for herself and her child, so the cooking isn’t the problem.
My wife loves to cook and host, so she doesn’t see this as being an issue, although she admits Kay has never reciprocated in any way. Kay will at least offer to bring a dessert or something when she comes over but has not once offered to make dinner for us or take us out to a meal.
I forced the issue with both my wife and Kay, expressing my desire for Kay to finally be the hostess. We’ve agreed to all go out this weekend to a nice restaurant. Not super fancy, but definitely less than $50 per person (no booze, none of us drink).
My wife told me this week that she firmly does NOT want Kay to pay for dinner. She thinks we should either split the bill or pay for the entire meal.
I was shocked and flabbergasted by my wife’s comments. I thought the entire point of hosting someone for dinner was that you were supposed to pay for it.
By the way, my wife picked out the restaurant AND made the reservation. Kay just needs to show up.
We do not make significantly more money than Kay, but I don’t even think the money is the point. If someone is reciprocating and taking us out to dinner, shouldn’t they be the ones to pay for the meal?
We are not forcing Kay to host. She picked the date and was originally going to cook us dinner, but we all agreed it would be more fun to go out instead.”
Shame on you. You never stated if her visits were her forcing or she was invited. If she just shows up or invites herself your wife should discuss it with her. If her invite is open or given, then speak to your wife.
You should split the check & if Kay doesn't accept that... YOU tip the waitress. If this is the only issue that bugs you be grateful.
19. AITJ For Asking Customers About The Tip They Left?
“I’m a bartender and I’m working at a new bar. Usually, when I see zeros on a tip line, I shrug them off assuming that people don’t have the extra money to leave a tip.
But I had a party of four come in an hour before the bar closed, and they each accumulated at least $30-$50 in tabs. When I did last call 15 minutes before closing, the party asked me if they could invite friends and if I’d keep the bar open an extra hour.
Since it was Father’s Day, I said sure, no problem. 20 minutes later their extra friends came in and in total, it was a group of ten.
Usually, we put an auto-grad at parties of 5 or more, but since they sat in separate groups I decided I wouldn’t put the auto-gratuity.
The other group had a tap of $60 and when it was about time to close up I got them their checks. In between all of them, it was about a $200+ total tab. Picking up the 5 bills as they were leaving, I saw all zeros and about $3 left from just one check.
Right before the last group left, I approached them about the tips and asked if there was anything wrong. I don’t assume people are going to tip every time, but to have a huge group keep the bar open, I was kind of expecting at least maybe 10% of their bill in tips since I had kept the bar open just for them.
When I asked, they got really upset and were offended. I told them it was okay, I didn’t mind the tip I just wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything wrong because sometimes a zero could imply they didn’t like something and I wanted to see if there was anything I could do next time to make it a better experience.
They got pretty upset at me, and I kept apologizing that I didn’t mean anything bad about it. I just wanted to know if did something to make it a bad experience. Now I feel like I just double-offended them. AITJ? Should I just never bring up a zero tip again?”
18. AITJ For Asking My Best Friend To Pay Rent Upfront?
“I (28 f) have been best friends with my BFF (27 f) for 10 years.
BFF comes from a rich family and has a lot of savings. I am single and live pretty much month to month as I am working as an intern-lawyer (crappy pay, long hours). BFF recently gave up a high-paying job she hated, to start working for a non-profit half-time.
She loves to travel but isn’t making much money in her current job because of the few hours and the non-profit aspect. She decided to give up her apartment at the end of May as she just went through a breakup and the place reminded her of her ex too much plus she wasn’t getting on with the roommate anymore.
She decided she would crash with various friends in June until she starts traveling in July for a month, so she could save some money for her trip and could save on paying rent/utilities etc.
(She isn’t coming from out of town. We have lived in the same town for years, she is crashing on friends’ couches in town for a month until she goes on a month-long trip to several countries, as she doesn’t want to pay rent while she is on the trip and wants to save up for that trip beforehand.)
She asked me if she could come stay with me. I told her I wouldn’t be comfortable with her staying for free, as I was just getting by financially. I told her I could let her stay for a month for 400 EUR. This is very little, you can barely get a single room in my town for this price, and isn’t even half the rent of my place also excluding utilities.
She said she was okay with me putting boundaries this way, and she would look around for places where she could crash for free first. She came back to me and wanted to half her stay. I said sure, for 200 you can stay two weeks.
A week later she told me she would only stay with me one week. I said sure, I understand you want to save money.
She announced on Friday she would be coming to stay for the next week. I said no problem, just wire me the 100 euros and send her my bank account number.
She was offended I asked for the money upfront, and that I was implying she wasn’t trustworthy. She explained this is souring our friendship of ten years, and that she would have let me stay for free if I had asked her, that in her relationships she pays people back by being helpful and cleaning/cooking/being helpful in other ways.
I understand in friendships people should show generosity and I can see her point.
If she was in financial need I wouldn’t have asked for money. But in this case, I don’t feel like I should be letting her stay for free so she can go on trips and save money this way, while I just make ends meet.
So AITJ for not letting my BFF of 10 years stay for a week at my place for free?”
17. AITJ For Clapping Back At My Friend For Insulting My Dog?
“My friend Moira and I (both 18 F) are both dog owners. I have a 5-year-old Shih Tzu named Meatloaf and she has a 14-year-old Giant Schnauzer/English Sheepdog mix named Hattie. In my opinion, both our dogs are very cute, but I might be biased since I love dogs a lot no matter the breed. However, Moira doesn’t really like small dogs.
She says they’re too loud and yappy and stupid, which is harsh in my opinion, but I get that everyone has preferences.
My issue with Moira is that she constantly insults Meatloaf. Every time I talk about him or pull up a picture of him, she’ll say that he’s ugly, that Shih Tzus are extremely stupid and incapable of love, or that he’s so loud and annoying.
Even if I’m talking to someone else about Meatloaf in her presence, she’ll butt in and say something about how ugly and dumb Shih Tzus are and how she thinks bigger dogs are better. It’s always said in an extremely mean tone, so I know she’s not joking.
Like I said, I don’t have a problem with her having preferences for bigger dogs, but it’s getting really tiring hearing her say things like that. I’ve asked her to stop multiple times and that it hurts my feelings to hear her talk about my dog in that way, but she always says it’s just her opinion and I shouldn’t take it so seriously.
This is where I think I might be the jerk. Recently, I was telling one of our mutual friends about Meatloaf getting the zoomies. I showed him a video, and we were both laughing when Moira cut in and said that she thinks Meatloaf looks especially ugly when he runs around and that she hopes he crashes into something and gets hurt because ‘that’s what he gets for being so annoying.’ I was shocked and I couldn’t believe she would wish harm upon my dog when he didn’t do anything wrong.
It was going too far, so I snapped and said, ‘And you look especially ugly today, but you don’t hear me complaining about it.’
Moira looked hurt and left right away, and I immediately felt bad about what I said. But at the same time, I just couldn’t stand hearing her talk about Meatloaf that way and I figured that she should be able to handle what she dishes out.
Still, some of my other friends have texted me that what I did was uncalled for and that Moira making fun of Meatloaf wasn’t comparable to me insulting her appearance. I regret what I said, but at the same time, I’ve asked her to stop multiple times and I’m not going to just stand there while she wishes harm on my dog.
So AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Cutting Off A Guy After Telling Him I've Forgiven Him?
“I (20 F) started talking to this guy (22 M) back in 2020 when I was 18 and he was 20.
It was my first year in college and he had been pretty helpful with everything. (for some extra context: where I’m from, you know your major from year 1, you had groups, and the courses are fixed for the entirety of your four years there)
He was in my group, and he started texting me outside of college and we talked a lot.
We talked a whole bunch, especially between October 2020 – January 2021, but during that time, he had started showing his true colors, let me explain:
He struggles with English (it’s our second language), and I don’t, so he seeks out help from me a lot, I never said no, always helping him since he helped me in the beginning.
However, he started asking me to clear my schedule or plan it around the time needed for me to help him with English. I obviously said no because we had one of the toughest midterms coming up and English wasn’t until 4 days after that, but I promised him I’d help after that one midterm.
He called me a jerk and said it would take four days for him to study, but I couldn’t bend my schedule especially because I was struggling in that other course.
Also, when one of the guys in my friend group walked me to the subway station he lost his cool, even though he and I are not a thing and never were.
He also kept blaming me for his bad English grades and said it was because of me not helping when he asked. At that point, I had had enough of his nonsense and called him out, he didn’t take my words well and started treating me like garbage.
In March of 2021, my grandmother passed away, I told my group of friends how worried I was and I told them to pray for her, he then said ‘We’re all going through stuff, especially me, so stop seeking attention.’ My grandmother died the next day.
After that incident, we rarely spoke, and he decided to take a gap year during the summer of 2021.
In April, he had texted me happy birthday and deleted it exactly 5 minutes later.
Now, he had texted me in early May (we hadn’t texted since July 2021), asking for forgiveness because ‘we drifted apart’, I told him all is forgiven and to forget everything, and I guess he took that as a friendship restorer or something, and that was not what I meant.
He keeps trying to text me and he keeps asking me personal questions and pressing for answers even after I told him I am uncomfortable talking about them.
I keep shooting down the conversation, and yesterday he asked me why I keep shooting down the conversation.
I just said it was because I’m approaching my finals and don’t like texting all that much, but I can’t help but feel like the jerk because no one in our group talks to him except for one guy.
So, AITJ for shutting down all conversation with him?”
15. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Eating My Doughnut?
“My partner and I have a newborn baby (8 weeks old), and I do all the night feeds and most of the day feeds. He’s got autism and gets sensory overload so he struggles with it. Okay, fair enough, I get that.
Only, we got McDonald’s yesterday and I bought a millionaire’s doughnut. Now, I love these things, all throughout my pregnancy I craved doughnuts, so he KNOWS I love them!
And because our baby has been a bit sick recently she’s been kinda difficult during the night.
I decided to keep the doughnut for today as a morning snack for getting through the night as I knew it was gonna be rough. He ordered the takeaway so I know for a fact, if he’d wanted one for himself, he could’ve ordered two.
But he didn’t.
So anyway, I found it missing this morning. I did NOT eat my doughnut, and it was definitely in the packet because I saw it. So he must have eaten it after I went to bed, and there were about four hours in between.
Now, I asked him about it. He has denied multiple times that he ate it. I do not care that he ate it. Moment of weakness, I get it. You were simply hungry, I get it. What I can’t stand is him lying to me about it.
I’ve been with people who gaslighted and lied to me in the past so this is really triggering to me. But he looked me in the eyes and got annoyed when I asked, and then started sulking cause I didn’t believe him.
I’m so angry right now because I was so tired this morning because our poor girl was not feeling great and so kept me up a lot and I was just really looking forward to it.
I’ve been trying to cut down on my morning caffeine so this was also kind of like a cup of tea for me as well.
I don’t know, am I overreacting? Am I the jerk?”
14. AITJ For Unknowingly Calling My Partner By My Ex's Name?
“I (19 F) have been in a relationship with a long-time friend of mine, we’ll call him Dan (20 M) for six months now.
Context: my last partner, Jacob, died about a year before I started going out with Dan. I was 17 at the time and I was really serious about him.
When he died I was shattered, and I was in a depressive episode for about five months.
I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t want to socialize, nothing. All I wanted to do was sleep. Dan tried to help me out of this depressive period and with his, my family’s and my therapist’s help, I started getting back to normal again.
A few months later he asked me out. I warned him about the fact that my feelings for Jacob had not faded yet.
He said that was ok and all he hoped for was that I was happy. I felt quite selfish but I relented after he reasoned with me and asked me out a few more times, and started going out with him two months after he asked me out for the first time.
Yesterday, we and a few of our friends went out to get dinner and watch a movie. After the movie, I was really sleepy and snoozed off on Dan’s shoulder. He dropped me off at home, I woke up, wished him a good night, and went to bed. Dan seemed perfectly normal.
Today, when I woke up, one of my friends said she wanted to talk to me. Called her and asked her what happened, and she told me she thought it was really horrid of me to do that last night. I asked her what I did.
She told me I called Dan by my ex’s name and that Dan was quite hurt by it and that he almost cried.
She’s one of the newer friends in our friend group so she has no idea that Dan, Jacob, and I were really close friends and that Jacob died.
I told her it was a personal thing and that I would explain it later. She said, ‘Whatever, I don’t care, I just think Dan deserves better than that.’
I called Dan up and apologized for it. He was ok with it and told me that it hurt him a bit but he doesn’t really care.
I just wanna know, AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Not Stopping My Partner From Talking To My Cousin About Being A Princess?
“My partner (26 M) and I (23 F) attended a family event a couple of days ago. As we arrived, my cousin (7? F) ran up to us to ask if we knew that princesses were real and that she was going to be one (she was recently on a school trip at a castle and learned that our country used to be a monarchy).
Some of the other adults there kinda laughed and told her things like ‘Of course, you’ll be’ while my partner started asking her about why she wanted to be one and what she would do once she was a princess.
From there they started a discussion that touched on the pros and cons of living in a castle, what colored gowns she wants and also on the responsibilities of a princess, and the importance of compassion.
Now, they did talk for a long time (at least compared to the typical attention span of a little kid) and after the others noticed it, they kinda gathered around to listen and interject something here and there, but it was mostly the two of them talking.
However, we were sitting on the couch at the side of the room, so anyone could’ve moved away if they wanted to discuss something else.
About 5 minutes in, her mom started giving me a ‘look’ with her eyes, but I honestly didn’t get it.
Then, she interjected how she shouldn’t keep bothering my partner as he must be tired of talking about princesses, which he promptly corrected. She tried to tell her daughter once or twice after to go back to the other room with the kids so we could have an adult conversation, but my partner told her again that it was fine (I think the second time they just ignored her).
She then gave up but kept glaring at me and sort of mouthing that I should stop their conversation. I pretended I didn’t get what she wanted.
After they finished we all talked a bit about how intelligent my cousin’s daughter is and joked about how she will indeed be a good princess.
No one said anything else, not even the mom.
However, my mom told me that my cousin’s mom thought I was a jerk for not stopping my partner as it was an inappropriate conversation both for her age and because of the setting.
On their way home they passed some beggars and she asked if the reason they didn’t have food was because there is no real princess in our country and if they could give them some.
After her mom refused, she said that when she was a princess she’d feed everyone. Apparently, my partner ruined being a princess for her as kids this age shouldn’t be faced with such somber topics.
I want to make it clear, I don’t think my partner did anything wrong, in fact, I was quite impressed, it’s not like she told him about wanting to be a princess and then he explained the French Revolution (they didn’t even mention homelessness, that was all my cousin’s conclusion).
Also, she didn’t seem to change her mind about wanting to be a princess, so I don’t see how it was ruined for her.
I want to know if I was a jerk for not interrupting or changing the topic when requested as she’s her mom and ultimately it’s her choice to decide what’s appropriate.”
12. AITJ For Being Angry At My Dad For Body-Shaming Me?
“I am currently in grade 11 and I struggle with my weight. My parents immigrated to the US from Pakistan. They are pretty traditional (not sure if that info was necessary but I still included it).
My parents are not healthy, my mother is obese, my dad has cholesterol and I’m also fed their diet because it’s part of their culture. However recently I started doing more cardio to lose weight.
The issue is that last week for 3 days in a row my dad heard me starting up the treadmill and then when I was well into my workout he’d come in and start calling his family in Pakistan with the video turned on.
I ignored it at first because he always calls his family but I figured he turned the video on or something because he doesn’t know better. Whenever he would do this I would just stop my workout and leave (I was still mad I had to stop my workout) but the thing is on the third day he did the same thing again and my aunt on the phone said ‘What?
You’ve gotten fatter now?’ I was really embarrassed at that comment so I just stopped and left the treadmill again.
The next day I didn’t go on the treadmill because I didn’t want to deal with that again but my dad asked me if I was gonna go and I said no.
But then he told me ‘You shouldn’t be such a jerk and leave when I turn the video on’, I got pretty annoyed at this because what this meant was that my dad knew that I was leaving because he kept video calling his family, and pointing the camera on me, yet he never stopped, also he never said anything about my aunt’s insensitive comment about my weight.
I don’t think I’m a jerk because I’m trying to better myself and my dad is taking advantage of the fact that I’m self-conscious about my body.
So far I haven’t said anything to him and am not acknowledging him, he knows this and instead of apologizing he just makes snide remarks about my lack of manliness.”
11. AITJ For Telling TikTok I'm Not Inviting My Mother And Siblings To My Wedding?
“I have never gotten along with my mother and I’m seen as the black sheep of the family and currently in therapy to deal with the years of emotional/mental/physical trauma.
I (24 F) have not spoken to my mother or my 3 siblings (25 F, 22 F, and 19 F) since July of 2021. They came over to my home intervention style with their spouses and disrespected me and my fiancé to say that they believed we were spending too much money on things.
(All of our bills were paid, on time and in full as always) I found this quite annoying and was getting furious, when I got angry I shut down and didn’t speak, at one point my ‘sister’ said I belonged in a mental hospital, and after a while after some screaming and yelling they left.
I left all the family group chats and blocked everyone in everything. I made the 1st TikTok about a few days after about the trauma I endured as a child. It made them mad, so I blocked them on TikTok.
After talking with my therapist we agreed it was petty but I had a right to be upset and post my feelings.
Haven’t spoken to them since.
Fast forward to December 2021, Christmas Eve I got engaged at my fiancés family Christmas party, my mother was mad that no one asked her or talked to her about it (that’s what my dad told me) shortly after we began planning the wedding.
I had discussed with my fiancé that I hadn’t forgiven my mother and siblings for what they did so I would not like them to attend. He was ok with it.
A few days ago I joined in on the TikTok trend that was about posting untraditional things we are doing at the wedding, and yes I did say that my mother and siblings would not attend (thinking that I had blocked my mother, and siblings and their spouses I figured they wouldn’t see it as we don’t have mutuals).
Well, they saw it and apparently, my mother was furious and texted my father and fiancé. The text reads as follows:
Mother: Sean (my dad), this is the type of crap we have to deal with because Alana wants to be childish. This is what I was telling you.
Nate (fiancé), you can tell Alana if she posts one more thing to embarrass the family again I’m going to come find her!
Mother: Nate, where is Alana?!
Mother: I will wait in front of her house all day if I have to. I’m not playing anymore WHERE IS SHE?
According to my dad, my mother and siblings expected that everything would roll over and they’d be invited to the wedding. I talked to my therapist and although she says it was petty to put to TikTok, it was an innocent trend and they were blocked so it wasn’t like I was purposely starting anything and that my mother took it too far with the threat.
We talked about the steps to possibly getting a restraining order.
Apparently, they are all super angry so I’m wondering AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Taking A Coworker's Daughter Out On A Plane Ride?
“I (25 M) have been good friends with a work colleague for several years. On numerous occasions, I have either gone over to his place or had him come over to mine for drinks.
My friend, whom I shall call Mark, has a daughter, whom I shall call Sophie, in high school. Unfortunately, Mark is a single parent as a couple of years ago he divorced his wife.
Three weeks ago Mark and I were just sitting around talking when he mentioned that his daughter was having a hard time choosing what she wanted to do after high school.
He also mentioned that her daughter has shown an interest in potentially becoming a pilot. Upon hearing this I offered to take Sophie flying as I have a pilot license and own a Piper Super Cub.
Mark was ecstatic as it was a great opportunity for her to see what it was like to fly a plane.
Together the two of us planned a whole day dedicated to flying. The plan was for Sophie and me to do some cross-country flying. The outing would last a couple of hours and feature some water landings as my plane is amphibious. Due to scheduling I, unfortunately, was only able to take her on a day where afterward she had a supervised visit with her mother.
What made things harder was that her mother lived 1.5 hours away from Mark. To get around this and give Sophie a lot of flying time I offered that instead of returning her to the airport I could drop her off at a public beach near her mother’s place to save him the drive.
After dropping her off Mark’s wife could pick her up her up for the visit.
Mark agreed to everything and initially so did his ex-wife. A week before things changed, Mark’s wife texted me saying that she did not want her daughter to go flying.
She claimed that it would be a bad influence on her. She then went on to make some threats toward me including ones of physical harm. Because of this, I decided to notify Mark of the messages and forward them to the court supervisor at his request. This led to the visitation getting canceled and the new plan that I bring her back to the starting airport afterward.
Two days before the flight I decided to speak with Mark about the plans. I was on the fence about whether we should go through with the plan or not. After some discussion, I made the decision that I would side with Mark and the trip would go on.
I sided with him because he has sole custody and it was on his time.
The day of the flight came around and Sophie had an absolute blast. She learned a lot about what it takes to fly a plane and was in control of the plane for everything except the first take-off.
Throughout the day we took many pictures and even went swimming. At the end of the day, it was clear that this day sparked a passion for flight in her. When her mother found out, she and others, who I didn’t even know, started sending me nasty messages.
AITJ for taking Sophie flying?”
9. AITJ For Not Correcting Someone After She Called Me A "Young Man"?
“I’m a 17-year-old female who has been working at my first-ever job since October.
I have a pixie-cut hairstyle, short hair with shaved sides and back, so I tend to be mistaken as a guy fairly often.
Whenever this happens the person quickly apologizes after they realize their mistake and we laugh it off before I help them with whatever they need.
Anywho, a few days ago on my normal closing shift I was just tidying the shelves when a middle-aged lady came up to me for help.
‘Young man, can you help me?’ was what she said, this is a fairly normal occurrence for me, I tend to get ‘mate’ ‘lad’ ‘boy’ and so on when customers are trying to get my attention.
So as usual I turn around and ask what she needs.
She proceeds to apologize for calling me a boy, and I laugh it off as usual and say it’s fine. I thought this was fine, as it usually is. But how wrong I was.
She then proceeded to get angry at me and semi-yell. ‘Why didn’t you correct me!?
You should have corrected me if you have any dignity at all’. I was pretty confused at this, but I calmly explained that this happens fairly often and I don’t get offended by it, so it’s fine by me. Apparently, this was the wrong answer.
‘If you have any self-respect you should be correcting everyone and telling them to stop assuming!’
I didn’t want to escalate the situation and get more colleges involved so I just apologised and agreed with her. She liked this answer, huffed, and then finally asked me if I knew where the pads were.
They were right behind her
Anyway, what do you all think? Should I have corrected her? Am I the jerk?
I normally wouldn’t make a fuss about this, but considering the generation I am in how much people value labels, and how easily people get offended nowadays.
I’m honestly just confused by the whole situation.
Would love to hear what you say.
8. AITJ For Not Wearing A Dress To A Close Family Friend's Wedding?
“So this past weekend, a close family friend of my mom’s got married and of course, we were all invited for the occasion. It’s important to note that I was coming from my dorm room in college, and my parents were coming from their home, so I wasn’t staying with them, and they didn’t have a say in what I should/shouldn’t wear.
The dress code was cocktail attire. I decided to go with some really nice dress pants and a long-sleeved blouse tucked into it. Don’t get me wrong, I like wearing dresses and all, it’s just I really like wearing some nice pants and a blouse even more, and I thought it went well for the occasion.
I arrived at the venue and sat next to my mom, and she asked me what I was wearing, and why I wasn’t wearing a dress like the other girls. I just told her that I wanted to go with something different. The wedding was pretty, and I still got some off-handed comments from my mom about how she hated my outfit.
Reception starts and I get to hang out with some of my friends who I haven’t seen in a long while. Everything was fine, until during dinner, when one of the aunts of the groom came up to me and told me that I was dressed inappropriately and that I should go home and change.
I asked her what she meant by that, and honestly, it just seemed like she had a problem with me wearing pants, and said that I should have dressed more feminine. She also added that she heard that another woman (she wouldn’t say who) feels the same way.
My friends at the table defended me, saying that there was nothing wrong with what I was wearing. I also chimed in and said that I thought my outfit was very appropriate for the event, and that there were no rules on whether I should/should not dress ‘feminine’.
Her aunt then said, ‘Fine, you young people like to ruin everything anyway. Just know that you’re taking the attention away from the bride’. She scowled and left. I just felt really confused, but I managed to brush it off for the rest of the night.
I don’t know if what she, the supposed other lady, and my mom were right, and if I should have just worn a dress to the wedding. AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Not Sharing The Boat's Sales With My Friends?
“I (F 28) bought a boat year before last with two of my friends Lucy (F 25), and Rick (M 27) (in a relationship) for $3000.
This event happened in the fall but they just made another snarky comment about it so I thought I’d come here.
We had these grand plans to sail down the coast and have this exquisite adventure. Unfortunately, shortly after buying the boat we found that the original cost of the boat was the least of our problems, there were countless things we needed to buy for it if we were going to take it anywhere for one, but the biggest problem was where to keep it.
The previous year, we had kept it at one of our boss’s moorings and had no issues. When winter came we split the cost of getting it hauled out and the same goes for putting it back in the water last spring.
Last Summer our boss didn’t have any unused moorings so instead of paying for one which really adds up we decided we would just anchor it in the harbor.
This turned out to be an extremely hassle some and stressful affair. It was constantly dragging anchor or getting wrapped up in gear and we would stress about it every day worrying it was going to drag into someone else’s actually expensive boat and we’d have to pay for damages.
The stress became too much for them and they got sick of having to go out and re-set the anchors every day and worrying about what would happen if I damaged one of the yachts. So they said that I could just have it as long as I assumed all responsibility for it.
I said okay.
I decided to sell the boat since the engine didn’t really work very well and I wanted a quick sale instead of a long drawn-out thing so that I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. I put it up for 1000$, which is what my share of the boat originally was.
It sold quickly the next day.
I could tell they felt some sort of way about it afterward but they didn’t bring it up so I just left it at that. Now the other day they brought up that I basically owed them 650$ and I was an idiot for selling it for that cheap anyhow.
I reminded them that they told me I assumed all responsibility of the boat so that should mean I was free to do what I wished with it. They’re still sulking. AITJ?
INFO: The boat was in Lucy and I’s names only. When they told me I could have it as long as I was responsible for it Lucy gave me the title, as she had been keeping it in her stuff prior.
We did not officially change it from both our names to just mine. I kept the boat for about three weeks before I sold it, during which time I was the sole person going out to check on it daily and reset the anchors when necessary.”
6. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister To Invite My Cousins And Her Mom To Her Baby Shower?
“I have a cousin who I saw as a little sister. Her partner would tag along with us very frequently.
I treated him like I would treat a brother or a cousin, I was never flirty with him, and I never gave off any signals, in fact, I was going out with someone at the time. Let me preface this by saying I don’t fool around with men in relationships.
After some time the guy texts me that he’s in love with me and that he’ll dump my cousin if I give him a chance. After a lot of consideration, talks with my parents, and therapist I showed my cousin the texts. My cousin, the guy, her mom, and sisters twisted everything and somehow pinned it on me despite me having the screenshots of the texts.
I showed my extended family but I was still branded a w***3 and I was never invited to another family function, despite me showing the texts. The guy has been lovingly embraced by the family, they have a kid.
My conscience is clean, cause I know I never crossed a line.
This happened about 7 years ago and it caused a major falling out in the family, because of that I lost touch with my uncle whom I loved very much. He passed away two years ago due to recent health events and I could do nothing but cry in my room cause I was not told, I found out cause I heard my brother reading a text from my sister.
I don’t actively hate my cousins and her mom, but I do have a very strong dislike for them, I don’t want them near me in any way. I’ve tried to reach out throughout the years and I’ve been ignored. It stings cause they’ve known me my whole life and they took the word of the guy they’d known for a year.
My niece’s baby shower is soon, and when someone throws a party, I keep my mouth shut when it comes to planning cause it’s annoying when people give their unsolicited opinions.
My sister and I were writing down the guest list and it was OK until my sister mentioned that she wanted to invite my cousins and her mom.
I admit that I was a bit intense with my reaction and I immediately withdrew my help from the shower (I didn’t do this as leverage, I helped cause I genuinely wanted to, but hearing my sister be very nonchalant about having them there, despite my history, felt bad).
I’m organizing the games, buying the cake, and doing my niece’s hair and makeup for the event free of charge, but I’m aware that this does not entitle me to any decisions.
My sister was like, fine I won’t invite them. She was aware of the situation, she heard the voicemails where my cousin called my then-partner calling me every name under the sun and telling her other things I couldn’t repeat.
My family knows that I strongly dislike them, and I know it sounds cruel, but they’re no longer family as far as I’m concerned, and since my uncle has passed, I have no connection to them anymore.
I was going to feel extremely uncomfortable having them there, and I know it sounds entitled to chime in on a guest list that’s not mine.
But having them there would’ve just soured my mood.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Being Mad At My Best Friend For Telling My Husband About My Coworker Who's Hitting On Me?
“I had a coworker at work who tried to hit on me a few months ago. I politely but firmly declined and refused his advances. Well, it didn’t actually go well. Since then, he kept trying, sending me emails, calling me at my desk, telling improper jokes, etc. until one day he even followed me into the bathroom to have ‘a private talk’.
I had enough and made an official complaint to HR. Things have been under control since and I feel so much better.
Now, during all of this, I haven’t said a word to my husband about this. These last months have been really hard for him, his best friend died and his dad is currently suffering from cancer.
He is an incredible man that I love from all my heart, he has always been there for me, and I was always in need. I feel like he always had to be the strongest and I wanted, for once, for him to feel that he is allowed to be the one who needs support.
I don’t know if it sounds silly but it made sense for me. I didn’t want him, in these hard times for him, to worry about me, to try to protect me. He never put himself first and even if what happened at work was bad, it was nothing compared to the loss of someone you love.
My BFF, Nathalie, knew all of this and agreed with me on the reasons I wanted to hide it. But a week ago, I came home to my husband being really at me. He knew the truth because Nat called and told him everything. She asked him to keep it for himself but obviously, he couldn’t.
The reason he was mad was because he thought I didn’t tell him because I wasn’t so innocent. I explained myself and showed him all the proof I gathered for HR so everything came back to normal between us.
But I was so mad I called Nat and yelled at her to stick her filthy nose in her filthy butt and to stay out of my life, she broke my trust and tried to sabotage my marriage.
However, my sister who knows the story, thinks I am a jerk because my friend only did this to protect me and do me a favor.”
4. AITJ For Stealing Things From My Fiancé's Mom To Try To Prove A Point?
“My future MIL and I butt heads a lot. She recently found out that I want a Disney princess-inspired wedding (when I say inspired I mean like an aesthetic, not like a kid’s birthday party) MIL finds this cringe and has been making fun of me.
She said it was childish and embarrassing. Her son shut that down and told her to stop. She also made fun of me for wanting to wear a ballgown and it has been annoying me.
My fiancé’s step-grandma is moving to a condo because she no longer wants the responsibility of a house.
Since she is downsizing she is getting rid of a lot of stuff. We were at her house recently and she had some limited edition Aladdin containers from one of the Disney parks. She asked MIL if she wanted it because she loves Aladdin. MIL said yes and put it down to take later.
The reason why I stole them was because this was a joke and I was going to give it back. I took it and said if Disney princesses are childish, she shouldn’t be needing that. MIL said to give it back but I ran outside.
She got mad and began full-on chasing me. When I gave it back she said I was an idiot and she is allowed to like Disney and think Disney is a cringe theme for a wedding.
I started getting emotional and said whatever, she is clearly too dumb to get the point I was making.
MIL continued to yell about how a Disney wedding is dumb, but Disney itself is cool and she wanted the cup to hold her paintbrushes, but I wouldn’t understand because I’m useless and do nothing.
At that point, my fiancé told her to shut up and that was the end of that, but I’m getting super mixed reactions between taking it as hilarious and proving a point, to being called dumb and a thief.”
3. AITJ For Not Wanting To Reconnect With My Little Brother?
“I (24 F) lost my dad in December of 2020 unexpectedly. It was unexpected so it crushed my siblings and me. My parents are divorced so my dad lived in a different state, but he did everything in his power to make sure we still had a relationship with him.
Four months before his death, he called me & asked to talk about his Will since he was redoing it since he just remarried. He told me everything that was in it & he asked me to promise him one thing if something happened to him: not to let our family get separated like his did years back, which resulted in his siblings hating each other.
I promised I wouldn’t let that happen.
When we found out he passed, we drove down to his city & found out that his Will was not notarized & his new wife got everything. We were devastated. We were not on great terms with her, so my little brother (21 M) & I decided to let our older brother (31 M) kiss her butt & try to get everything we could of our dads.
Over the course of the last year, it’s been an awful game of waiting. We were hoping to get our grandpa’s house (that was originally going to us), his car, and his belongings. We were all so stressed out & emotional that we clashed heads a few times.
Towards the end of 2020, we got almost everything (house, car, belongings) & it finally felt like we were settling down. Because Christmas last year was so awful, we were determined to have a good Christmas this year. So we all got together but my little brother, C, had different plans.
He had been bullying me a few months prior, calling me lazy, pathetic, & a drama queen with my dad’s death & told me to get over it. With my older brother R, he accused him of wrecking my dad’s car & insisted that he get bought out of my grandpa’s house for the money since R was moving into it.
He said he wanted nothing to do with this family & that we were all careless & selfish. He made my mom cry by not going bowling with us, which was the only thing she wanted for Christmas. He left to go back home early Christmas morning, ruining the Christmas we tried to make special.
Due to this outburst & many other things, I’ve decided to no longer have a relationship with C because he has been nothing but greedy, selfish, & a bully. He doesn’t believe he is wrong & will never admit it. So I’m done, but my mom thinks I should just forgive him.
(C has been a bully towards me long before my dad died, so it isn’t just grief)
So WIBTJ for letting us break this family up & going against my dad’s wishes?”
2. AITJ For Refusing To Apologize To My Siblings?
“I (13 f) have a father (59 m) who abandoned me when I was 11. It had a huge impact on me and my siblings. My brother (16 m) and I have been getting chastised by my older siblings for not wanting to see him. Mind you the way he left was the stereotypical ‘I’m going to work and never coming back and leaving with another woman.’
After he left my mom got with this guy who was pure evil. He emotionally mistreat my mom and brother. When it started getting bad my older siblings cut contact with all of us. When my mom finally left him my older siblings started texting and calling me telling me that his being gone wouldn’t last long and that my mom would just get right back with him (she never did).
After a while, everything stopped. Then my mom met my current stepdad, he’s a nice, cool guy. I see him as a father figure and my older siblings hate that. (But they call my dad’s mistress their stepmom) For a while everything was quiet and I was actually reconnecting with my older siblings.
That was until child support started getting directly deposited into my mom’s bank account. Then things went down. I lost all contact with my older siblings because they were trying to force me to see my dad (saying that if I didn’t see him I was going to be cut out of my nieces’ lives).
Usually I would apologize and see my dad so I could stay in contact with them, but I put my foot down and they didn’t like that. I now am not allowed to contact any of my nieces and my siblings have cut contact with me.
My brother and I have arranged many different ways my dad can see us (we don’t feel comfortable going to his house yet and want therapy before anything) he refuses all of them.
My mom and stepdad are on my side along with my brother, but am I the jerk?”
1. AITJ For Wanting My Wife To Treat All Our Kids The Same?
“I (38 F) have G (35 F) for 4 years. I decided to be a single mother and had two sons A (7 M) and C (4 M), so when G met my sons, they were 3 and 11 months old.
G has a goddaughter, the daughter of her best friend, D (10 F), and G has always treated her very well and does everything to help since her friend was a widow when her daughter was only 1 year old.
2 years ago, 1 year after living with me and my children, she started to say that she wanted to enter with my children’s adoption papers since they already called her mother and she loved them that way. I was hesitant at first, but after 1 year of talking, we entered with the adoption papers and she is now also the mother of A and C.
But some acts have been bothering me in relation to her goddaughter.
At Christmas, G’s friend and goddaughter stopped by and when it came time for gifts, D received much better gifts than my kids (she got a cell phone and sneakers, a Minecraft lego, and C a fire truck – he loves things like that ).
I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say anything.
On days when it was her turn to pick up, she often warned at the last minute that she would have to pick up D because her friend got stuck at work and needed help.
It happened so many times that A even asked ‘Mommy didn’t make it again, huh?’ and even though I told G that the children were upset, she said that she didn’t want to leave her goddaughter alone at school and that I could easily pick up the children for working from home office.
What made me angry was that I was going to have a musical recital at my children’s music school, it was all right that we would have that commitment. On the day, G was wearing a more casual outfit and I asked if she would go like that to the recital (something formal).
She said she would go to a school meeting of D in place of her mother and that she would go as soon as it was over. She arrived well after the kids had performed and needless to say they were upset that one of their mothers didn’t make it.
In our room, G kept insisting and asking why I was weird and I was honest. I said ‘You chose motherhood, but sometimes you don’t practice it. I think your relationship with D is beautiful, but the difference in treatment between her and our children is hurting me and hurting them.
You chose to adopt, so treat it equally or better’.
She was upset and said that she loved her goddaughter and that she just wanted to give her the best in her father’s absence and that it was a selfish request of mine since D is her goddaughter even before we were together.
We haven’t spoken in 2 days. I’m feeling confused about what she said.
AITJ?”
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