People Get Freaked Out Over These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
19. AITJ For Losing My Temper When My Parents Asked Me To Give My Gaming Laptop To My Sister?
“I’m 16m and I have a sister who is 14f. My sister was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia when she was 6 and she had ongoing medical needs for 5 years. She’s been healthy for the last 3 years and returned to “normal”.
My parents put me on the backburner in a major way and they were not there for me.
I was either bounced around to different family members or I was left alone. My birthday was forgotten a few years and Christmas was about her and I was asked to put the effort into making sure she had all the gifts and joy she could get because it could be her last. I was miserable and I know none of us were happy but I felt like I was there as a prop to try and cheer her up sometimes.
She would ask for stuff and they would move heaven and earth to get it and sometimes it was stuff I had. Before she got sick my parents had bought me this bean bag chair for my room that was probably more expensive now that I think about it and they gave it to her.
When I brought home a treat from school they would ask/tell me to give it to my sister to cheer her up, and sometimes she would ask for it. When I didn’t bring something home for a while they would ask me if I ate it like it was some crime I committed. We went to see Santa for a few years after she was sick and I got a better cheap toy that we swapped because I couldn’t have something a little nicer than her.
Which meant I got stuck with a lot of jewelry-making kids or sparkly pink stationary kits.
Last Christmas I got clothes while she got a new phone and switched skin.
I turned 16 in June and I had saved to buy a gaming laptop. It was a lot of saving my wages and buying nothing but I wanted it.
My two best friends decided to forgo buying me something and gave me money to get it and they came with me to pick it up.
Last week my parents and sister were in the living room when I got home from school and my parents told me my sister wanted to play games with her friends, computer games, and that they thought since I had a gaming laptop I could just give it to her since it would make more sense than going out and buying a new one.
When I didn’t answer right away they were like “Oh well, of course you could always share it between you”. And I lost it. I started yelling and cursing. I told them of course she should have it and why not. I went into my room and took my clothes and said she should have all that too.
I said why not take my bed and give it to her as well. Then pointed out she had a new bed and my bed was 12 years old. I told them to take everything I own since she deserves it all and I don’t deserve anything because I never got sick as a kid.
My sister didn’t say a word and my parents were shocked but then they were pretty upset with me and asked me why I was behaving like that. Things have been… tense since. Though I still have my laptop…
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your parents should have done a better job making sure your needs weren’t completely on the back burner.
I understand it couldn’t have been easy with your sister being so sick but meeting your needs was and is also important. I am sorry it went down the way it did. But you are absolutely in the right standing your ground.” Dobbywantssocks12
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Look up “glass children,” this is, unfortunately, a pretty common family dynamic, where the healthy sibling‘s needs are completely ignored or disregarded. I’m so sorry your parents are treating you like this. I would suggest sitting down with your parents or writing them a letter telling them exactly how their behavior has affected you and permanently altered your relationship with both them and your sister.
I don’t know that they will change, but you’ll probably feel better getting it off your chest. If you plan to leave for college or trade school, I would start talking to other trusted family members or adults about your plans. Start looking into scholarships or apprenticeships or whatever you need to do to become independent because you deserve to find happiness.” NeighborhoodNo1583
Another User Comments:
“NTJ as a shadow sibling of a miracle sibling I understand this experience. You built up key skills like resilience and independence as a result of their neglect. your sister has learned to take advantage of you based on the behavior modeled after your parents.
it gets better, and as soon as you move out it gets better. As soon as they realize you never call, it gets better. As soon as you create your own family, it gets better. You have learned to expect nothing. Create some physical and emotional distance for self-preservation and keep moving forward.” Capable_Ad_976
18. AITJ For Wanting To Live Separately From My Partner's Difficult Mother?
“I 29(f) and my partner 30 have been happily together for 3 years.
When we started seeing each other, I used to stay in a rented apartment with a female flatmate. My partner lived with his mother about 30km from my apartment and would often come over to stay. We rarely fought (had a few minor arguments but never slept angry), he would cook for me, we would also do chores together and everything was great.
A few months back I moved in with my partner and his mom while looking for a new flat. We decided to split the expense and we are doing so. He is also paying off a loan so splitting expenses has put him at ease.
The only problem we are facing is with his mom. She is a 64-year-old stubborn woman. In the initial phase of seeing each other, he had made it clear that his mom is difficult to deal with and he wouldn’t want to leave his mom alone after marriage which I was completely in support of.
But I didn’t know she was so difficult. She is financially dependent on us and a bit clumsy with finances. She spent 19k on a saree for her grand niece’s wedding which she could use for her eye operation. She also has a short temper, firmly believes only what she says and does is right, will never accept her mistake, forces god on us, yells a lot, and badmouths everyone.
I have been living with her for the past 6 months and most of my experience has been terrible with her. I had a bad childhood with an abusive father who would torment my mother. Whenever I hear her yell it reminds me of him.
She often orders my partner to do things rudely.
Ever since I moved in he and I had a lot of big fights. She would often come to me and complain about him and go to him to complain about me. My partner and his family have spoken to her. But she refused to do anything at home to make it easy for us to focus on our jobs.
We spoke to a few of his relatives and they consider her a lost cause and suggested to live separately after marriage. Not far from her but close enough to be there for her. My partner says that his father pampered him and his mom and did the smallest chores at home.
Be it cleaning a home or doing laundry. She didn’t have to do anything. After he passed away it was difficult for both of them. My partner took up his responsibility but it seems his mom is not doing the same. The house is always dirty, things are scattered, does not use a dustbin.
A month back she had a cataract operation so we put drops in her eye. Last night my partner and I had come to meet my parents for the first time and reached home half an hour late. After reaching he asked her about drops but she angrily refused. Today morning she did not cook out of anger.
Gave old food to him but did not give me any food. She has done this before if she is mad at us she would feed him but not give me food.
Also, I have been to the office for 70 days in the last 6 months and she has given me tiffin for about 10 days that too stale food.
It makes me sad. I spoke to my partner about this and he has spoken to her multiple times but she fails to understand. I am considering living separately. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“I’m sorry to have to say this, but this relationship doesn’t sound like it’s going to work long-term.
Your problem isn’t your MIL, it’s that your partner refuses to deal with his mother and get her to stop her harassment. You won’t get anywhere unless he accepts that this living situation is untenable. You will be unhappy for the rest of your life if you stay there.
You deserve better. You deserve for your home to be your sanctuary, not another battlefront to deal with the trauma from your childhood.” android
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You’re not married, this is the time you need to make it clear that if he wants to stay with you, you must live on your own (you and him) without her, and that so long as her behavior stays as-is, you’ll never be willing to live with her.
Nearby is OK, and he can go do her chores if that’s his wish, but you won’t be, and he’ll still need to make time to be home with you. This is his job to enforce with his mother, if not you need to get a new partner.
Save and move out, he can come with you if he wants, but no marriage, no kids, not until you’ve sorted this. Good luck.” SingularityMechanics
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. As someone in a similar situation but from the other end, my mom was challenging to live with, and it was stressing our relationship.
I would say you need to either move on and live separately or just not marry. You are getting pulled into a symbiotic relationship; the mother and son are co-dependent on each other, and until your partner decides to break free, you can do nothing.” Equivalent-Fee-5897
17. AITJ For Not Inviting A Friend With Misbehaved Kids On Our Group Vacation?
“A group of buddies and I get together every couple of years. We all served together 20 years ago and have stayed in touch even though we are scattered all over the Northeast and occasionally visit each other and vacation together as we all have kids of similar age.
So 3 of my buddies and their families have been planning a trip to Disney next year and I have been very open about not wanting to invite another buddy and his family based on our past trip history.
He’s a solid dude and friend but a lazy and selfish father.
We have vacationed twice and both times were a disaster with one of those trips resulting in us leaving a day early. His kids are some of the most misbehaved kids I have ever been around. I know kids will be kids but these kids push the limits.
Being physical with my kids, screaming NO, hitting their parents, etc.
And my buddy just lets his wife deal with it while he chooses to go off for a “walk” to avoid it. He’ll say he’s gonna meet us at the pool and just sleeps in the hotel while my wife and I watch his kids and his wife tends to the other baby.
It’s like work for us. There is no discipline and my kids know that’s not the way I fly luckily they do their best to avoid them but sometimes that’s not possible. My son mentioned that he wishes we didn’t vacation with them because they’re just huge pains in the rear, to be frank.
And that hit me. It’s their vacation too and it’s not fair to them.
The trip is all booked and the other families asked if we should invite the other family I said NO I am not dealing with that again and spending 10k on Disney to be regretting another trip.
So one friend had mentioned it to him just so he wasn’t blindsided and saw pics on social media. He also did not think he would come because he’s also pretty cheap and probably wouldn’t spend 10k on Disney anyway.
Well, yesterday he called and said he was coming on the trip and I was completely blindsided. He asked if I cared and I had to think of my family first so I told him I preferred if they didn’t come based on our past vacations together he just said ok and it was left at that.
I got a text that he wanted to know why (he knows anyway) and I said I love you brother but I know how this ends and to keep my kids happy and to have a great trip I need you to know that my kids don’t enjoy being around your kids and I need to do this for them.
And I know my other friends probably feel the same way.
There have been plenty of times when I have had no choice but to discipline his kids because he does not and I’m sick of dealing with his kids, to be honest.
He sent me a nasty text that I think my kids are angels and his oldest is on meds now and doing better and I’m being unfair.
I just said, that what would be unfair is to force my kids to spend time with other kids who are taking the joy away from them.
My wife said I probably ruined our friendship, but I stand by the decision I made for my family.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ at all. I have a group of great friends that I enjoyed gaming with for nearly 2 decades. I have traveled with them to conventions before. There are 3 in that group that I will NEVER vacation with again. They are still great friends, but we are just not compatible when it comes to vacation time.
Your “hands-off” daddy friend falls firmly in the “Do not travel with, again” category. For your kid’s sake, you did the right thing.” KronkLaSworda
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but I probably wouldn’t have brought your kids into it saying “my kids don’t like your kids” I would have been like “Dude you check out when you’re on vacation and don’t help your wife with your kids and that ends up falling on the other adults on vacation and that’s just not enjoyable”.
Generally anyone will defend their children, but he can’t defend himself on checking out when you have multiple examples of this.” Oogie-Boogie-6
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Medication or not, this is Disney World. Even the most well-behaved child will be a challenge at some point during the vacation.
If the parent is not parenting, they are going to be much worse. Your child does not need to be hit by another child on vacation. Good for you for protecting your kids.” happyhippietree
16. AITJ For Confronting My Roommate About Taking My Dress Without Permission?
“My four roommates and I (all 20f) are very close and are good friends.
It’s normal for us to share things such as clothes, jewelry, etc… Usually, we ask each other first but sometimes it’s a quick grab and replace later. I was planning my clothes for a holiday trip home and I had a certain dress planned to wear.
My roommate was also going home for the same holiday but she was leaving a couple of days earlier because she lived several states away (important later). We discussed ideas of what she should wear and I told her my plan for my outfit.
When it came to planning my trip, the dress was out of sight.
It’s normal for me to misplace the occasional item so I wasn’t too stressed. However, after much searching, I still could not find the dress. I swore I saw it in my closet but then again I could have left it at home or something.
At this point, I was starting to stress out about it. I texted one of my other roommates if she had taken it, but because of my stress, the text came off rude. The morning I had to leave I had to make a last-minute decision and buy a new dress.
The only one I could find that was appropriate for the holiday was about $90, not a horrific price for a nice dress but I am a college student. Later I packed and headed home for the holiday.
Weeks later, all my roommates and I were back in the apartment and I noticed my dress was back in the closet.
I start freaking out because I felt like I had gone crazy. I could not believe that it was there the whole time. Days later, I am sitting on the couch with two of my roommates (the one from before and a different one) and my original roommate is showing us a picture from when she was home.
She clicks to the next photo and she’s in the original dress I was planning to wear. I asked her to clarify that it was my dress and she said yes. I told her about how stressed out I was about losing my dress and how I had to buy a whole new dress, again a $90 dress, and that I wished she told me before taking it several states away.
Afterwards, upon seeing my frustration she went on the offense and got mad at me for pointing it out. Going on to yell at me about the situation. I was upset but I remained calm about it, saying all she needed to text me about it beforehand.
She responded by saying “You would’ve said no,” which was true but only because I had said I was planning to wear it. I told her that I had to spend around $90 on the dress, only for her to turn to conversation on me and I was the one at fault.
Weeks later, the conversation came back up because it was unresolved and she responded that I should owe her $30 for a couple of times I used her dry shampoo (with permission). To be fair, I could see how it could look like I wanted her to pay me back, but I meant it in a way to show the inconvenience it caused me.
I also later found out that she was trying to convince the roommate I texted to lie to me, take the blame, and keep it a secret.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She knew you were going to say no, so she purposely hid the dress from you.
She deserved to be called out on it and made to feel like a jerk. On top of that, she wanted the other roommate to lie to her and take the blame. She also knew you were going to see pictures from her holiday, which is even worse, and she wasn’t even ashamed of herself.” MildBabyFacedAssasin
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She should pay you back. There is a difference between borrowing something or using something with permission that won’t put you out and deliberately taking a dress you know someone is planning to use away so they can’t use it. She stole your dress knowing you were intending to use it.
She got upset because you called her out. Lock your bedroom door and stop allowing her to borrow stuff, she doesn’t respect your boundaries.” cyrfmymum
15. AITJ For Not Letting My Mom Cut My Baby's Umbilical Cord?
“I (F29) gave birth to a beautiful baby girl two weeks ago, and my husband (M30) and I are so thrilled with this new addition to the family. Unfortunately, her birth did not come without drama, which is the subject of my post today.
My husband and I were already parents to our wonderful son (M3), and when I went into labour, my husband and I had agreed with his parents (M65 and F63) that they would take our boy. My MIL and FIL have a very close relationship with our son, so he was thrilled at the idea of a sleepover with the two of them.
Unfortunately, on his way home from their house, my husband was in a car accident. We were all very lucky that it was not worse, but my labor was progressing rapidly and I needed to go to the hospital. Ultimately it was decided that my best option was for my mom (F57) to take me to the hospital and my husband to meet us there when he could.
Obviously, the birth was a priority for him, and I do not for one second believe that he was dawdling at the accident or trying to take his sweet time.
My labor progressed much faster than with my first, and my husband was not yet at the hospital. While he was my designated support person, I made the decision to have my mom in the room with me when my daughter was born with the hope that my husband would arrive in time.
Unfortunately, this did not happen.
Given that my mom became my support person, she was given a copy of my birth plan which included my husband cutting the umbilical cord. This was something he did with our first, and he would have liked to do it again.
However, given that it was now my mom with me, I really didn’t want her to have that role. I can’t tell you a specific reason why not, it just felt too intimate and like it was her baby. When it came time, I asked that the doctor please cut the cord, despite my mom’s offering.
To be honest, she was all ready to do it by the time I asked the doctor that he do it, and my mom was quite taken aback. At that moment, she asked me why and said I had written in the birth plan that my support person did it and she was now my support person.
I told her no, and it had been cut before she could get any further with her argument.
Thankfully our baby was born without any issues, and my husband was able to arrive in time to hold her. To be honest, I also didn’t want my mom to hold her before my husband, so I did not let go of her until my husband walked into the room.
I just wanted him to have all of those experiences, not my mom.
Now, we have had a little while to adjust to having our newest little one, but my mom won’t let this go. She always moans that she was excluded from a more involved role despite being there for me when my husband couldn’t, and she will never have a chance to make those memories again.
She is upset about the fact that I have “double standards” for her and my husband and says that this experience will throw a spanner in her building a meaningful relationship with her grandchild. Was I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ It’s your turn to make these decisions for yourself.
She doesn’t need to like it, just respects it. As for it interfering with her ability to bond with her grandchild….did it interfere with her bonding with your 3yo? That’s just an absurd attempt at a guilt trip and quite childish IMO.” Major_Arachnid_2581
Another User Comments:
“NTJ also, wtf? “Double standards for her and my husband”? Of course there are. one’s husband and one’s mother are not the same thing, so of course they don’t get treated the same in all things. I mean, if Mum feels hurt that she wasn’t allowed to cut the cord since she was there, then ok.
She can feel hurt about it. we’re all entitled to what we feel. we are not, however, entitled to pushing that feeling onto someone else.” TazzmFyrflaym
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. 1000 times over. What an insane thing for your mom to be hung up on. “Mom, I hear that this has upset you, but if you can’t let go of decisions I made after birthing a human being with my husband just having been in a car accident we’re going to have a bigger problem.
Put your focus on everyone coming out of this situation safe and healthy, and never talk to me about this ever again.” typeslikeagirl
14. AITJ For Being Angry At My Husband After He Caused An Accident While Rushing To Our Son's Game?
“I’ll start by saying it was a fender bender and no one was hurt.
That said, tonight, my husband and I were getting ready to go to our son’s football game, although calling it our son’s game is a bit of a stretch.
He dresses for varsity but never plays. I got home at 5 and the game was at 7, 15 minutes away.
My husband seemed to be in a mood tonight, so I offered to make dinner before we left instead of having him do it; I’ll be honest, though, his foul mood put me in a bit of a foul mood.
But I made dinner and we ate together.
It’s 6:30 when we finish up, and he starts rushing me to get out the door. It’s cold out, so I needed a little time to bundle up and hadn’t had time before as I was cooking dinner.
He was rushing me to the point where I grabbed my boots to put them on in the car, instead of in the house before leaving like a normal person, and we were on our way by 6:40.
We had to stop to grab funds on the way, but we still would have made it by 7.
I didn’t understand the rush to watch our kid sit on the sidelines in the cold. Even if he, by some stroke of miracle, got to play this game – it wouldn’t be until later in the game.
Anyways, we get the funds and we’re on our way out of the gas station area.
My husband hopped in the right lane, but in typical GPS fashion, it can’t make up its mind until you get on the road. So it switches and says we need to take a left at the light that we’re currently stopped at.
The guy in front of us is too close for us to get over but has room in front of him to scoot up, so my husband starts getting impatient and angry. The guy finally scoots up for us to barely have room to switch lanes, and my husband guns in without looking in the blindspot, side-swiping the person passing us in the left lane.
We pull into a parking lot, they exchange info and that’s it. My husband gets in like it’s no big deal, nonchalant as if like oh, there was no damage, it’s wiping right off. She’s not gonna claim anything. Let’s go watch some football, babe!
But I’m angry! Not only did this happen in my daily driver, but it felt like he was taking zero accountability for what just happened. He asks me what’s wrong and I go off. He’s like, it was an accident, it’s not like I did it on purpose, yadda yadda.
But I’m like, if you weren’t in such a rush when we were going to make it on time, this wouldn’t have happened! And I guarantee that she’s going to claim it and our insurance is gonna go up, and this whole living paycheck-to-paycheck has been hard enough without us having higher insurance rates.
We only ended up staying for half the game because he was so upset that I was upset. We came home and he went straight to bed.
So…AITJ for my reaction?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I see bad car wrecks at my job all the time.
The accident could have ended tragically or left someone with permanent injuries. Never drive a car or get in a car when somebody is upset. Your husband was incredibly lucky nobody was physically hurt. Especially since it was game night and there was bound to be a bunch of teens on the road.
He could have killed you, himself, another driver, or a pedestrian. The financial part where your interest rates will increase is going to be tough. But even worse is living with the guilt of harming someone.” b3lindseyb3
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk here.
He for driving in an idiotic fashion. You for downplaying just how rushed you were making the two of you which put you both in that position to begin with. What’s worse is you did that because you *don’t care* about your son’s game.” User
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. People who wait until it’s too late to try and change lanes are the worst. If you were stopped in a right turn lane and realized you needed to turn left, the safest thing to do would have been to just take the right turn, then turn around at the first opportunity (using a side street, driveway, or U-Turn if nobody’s around) and go back through the intersection and you’d be headed in the right direction with only about a minute lost.” RAS310
13. AITJ For Prioritizing My Son Financially Over My Daughter?
“My first wife had substance use problems and still got primary custody of our son. I was young and didn’t fight her in custody and when he got older we weren’t close so I felt awkward asking him to live with us.
She tried to prevent us from communicating and moved around a lot so it was always hard to spend any time with him until he got his phone. But now I have spent more time with him and now we are close.
My second wife is hard-working and very financially successful as an engineer.
She makes more than me. Our daughter takes after her, she is a straight-A student and is going to be back in school to be a nursing practitioner soon.
My wife is angry with me because my daughter and I aren’t close. She goes to her mom for everything and doesn’t speak to me much.
We were close when she was young but since high school, it’s like she pretends I don’t exist. I try to reach out but it’s met with silence. I think my wife poisoned her against me because I have spent most of my money on my son.
My wife told my daughter I didn’t pay for a cent of college for her and my wife did all the savings for her college fund.
I didn’t contribute to my daughter’s college fund. I didn’t pay for any piano lessons etc. I did pay for half of the family expenses with my wife like the mortgage but my extra money has been going to my son.
Partly child support but I’ve also been contributing outside of that. He didn’t finish school with good enough grades for college. I gave him money to upgrade his grades and helped him get a place to start college. He got 2 semesters in and then left because he was depressed. He has a lot of issues from growing up with his mother and I feel partly responsible because I didn’t try to fight for custody.
I give him money for rent and he has issues holding down a job so he needs support.
My daughter recently reached out with a schedule for her and her fiancé’s wedding. It had his and mom’s dance but not the father-daughter one. I was confused and asked my daughter about that and she replied “We aren’t close enough for that”.
I was shocked and asked her why she would consider us not close and she said “Well you disinherited me”. I called her and asked her to explain and she said because her mom paid for college and will be helping her with her NP degree and I didn’t give a darn about her after middle school because of my son.
I explained everything I said above to her (and she knew most of it before that as well). She said I should have split my funds and time between them. I told her I felt like I did and she got angry and said I didn’t and it’s like she was raised by a single mom and that’s why she is uncomfortable with having a wedding dance with me because it would be a lie.
I felt like I was fair to them, I lived with my daughter I just didn’t pay for things outside of food, mortgage, utilities, etc. that’s because I felt like my wife had it covered and my son was getting nothing. My ex-wife wasn’t saving anything and I wanted to help him because he was having a much harder time than my daughter who had an attentive mother.
But she felt I was prioritizing my son and in her words “disinherited her”. I feel like she should understand the situation but she didn’t want me to be included in the wedding much at all.”
Another User Comments:
“I know you meant well, but YTJ.
You fell into the very common, but still unacceptable, trap of ignoring the child you think didn’t need you (at least not like your son) and overcompensating with the child you perceive as needing more. If you can manage a sincere apology and work on yourself through therapy, maybe your daughter will come around.
Your end goal, however, should be to realize your mistakes and be better, not corral her into the relationship you want. She doesn’t owe you that.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. You didn’t disinherit your daughter, you neglected her to save your son. You failed both.
Apologize to both. Vow to be better and do it. You have a lot to make right with your daughter, and it will take a long time. Your son needs support in getting professional help, not just paying his rent.” Accomplished_Two1611
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. I have a feeling your wife has been telling you how she and your daughter feel for years. And you ignored it. I see why you did what you did, maybe it was the correct thing even, but you don’t just ignore a festering resentment like this.
You needed to work this out with your wife, marriage counseling or even divorce, and continually communicate with your daughter. I think that if you’d involved anyone else in your plans you might even have come up with a better solution, for both your kids.” vac_roc
12. AITJ For Not Cancelling My Work To Stay With My Hospitalized Mom?
“I (30F) am an aspiring actor and filmmaker, and last week I visited my parents, both to see them and for a few projects I had in their city.
My mom recently had a surgery. Before I came home my dad had to take her to the ER.
Then Friday, the night I flew home, we had to take her to the ER again, and they kept her in the hospital for the weekend.
My dad spent most of the weekend in the hospital. Meanwhile, my sister, Ky,24F who lives in Texas was freaking out.
She couldn’t afford to drop everything and fly out, and my parents said it wasn’t necessary, but she was calling and checking in, and visited my mom on Saturday for a few hours to play games, and on Sunday they did a video call to watch a sports game together.
Once my mom was in the hospital, she was stable and the medication they were giving her via IV was working, but they had to keep her because the infection was resistant to most of the usual medication they would use in cases like hers, and so they had to keep her until they could find something to send her home with.
On top of that, my parents have always supported my career and they knew I had some projects while I was in town so I thought they’d understand.
On Saturday, I had agreed to volunteer to take BTS pictures for a film a friend was in, and I had a photoshoot with a friend who was getting into photography and needed people to model for him.
I left the shoot early to check in with my mom. My dad asked if I could stay with her for a few hours so he could take a nap (he spent the night there Friday) and get some work done, but I said I had to go to my photoshoot.
I assumed my dad would be fine just going home for a few hours since at that point we knew she was stable.
On Sunday, I had a few meetings for upcoming short films, I did stop by the hospital and joined her and my sister watching the game for a bit, but had to leave for my meetings.
My mom came home on Monday, and after, Ky called and ripped me a new one. She told me that our dad had been in the hospital with our mom almost all weekend because he didn’t want to leave her alone and was worried, that I should have canceled or postponed things to help him out and be with our mom so he could have had a break.
She said I was selfish and didn’t care and I should have been there, and I could have done my meetings from the hospital.
I tried to explain to Ky that since mom had been stabilized, our dad could have just gone home any time he needed to and that our parents understood, but she told me I was a jerk and couldn’t believe how selfish I was, that our dad hadn’t been able to work and had barely slept all weekend and I could have relieved some of his burden/stress.
I said if she was so much better than me, she should have flown out here, and Ky got mad and hung up on me.
AITJ? Should I have canceled or pushed my work or done my meetings to be there for my mom even though we knew she was going to be okay?”
Another User Comments:
“YTJ, of course, your parents were never going to ask you to postpone some of your work things. That is how most loving and supportive parents are. They don’t want to feel like they’re a burden or inconvenience to their kids. It’s all well and good saying your mom was stabilized so your dad could have come home for a couple of hours, but that was never going to happen, your dad didn’t want to leave your mom.
This is most likely because he was frightened of your mom having a relapse and becoming very ill again. I’m with your sister on this, and it’s unfair to point out to her that she didn’t fly or travel down even though she lives hours away.
However, she still gave up more of her time and was more present for your mom than you were even if it was over Facetime.” Over-Kaleidoscope-57
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. From Friday to the Monday that your mom was in the hospital, if I counted correctly, you were at the hospital with her 3 different times.
Just for the record and a vent: if I’m ever in the hospital again I want my relatives to let me rest and not expect me to spend hours playing games with them and watching football or the like over Facetime.” NanaLeonie
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Honestly, I hate having visitors in the hospital, and it would’ve been a nightmare for me to have people FaceTiming or in and out the whole time I was recovering. You made an effort, and I think your sister’s big explosion was only her projecting her frustrations with not being able to be physically present.” Toomanykids9
11. AITJ For Cutting Off My Friend's Partner Who Insisted On Treating Me Like His Late Sister?
“So I’ve known my friend Mary for a very long time, and a couple of years ago she got a partner. It was pretty sudden since she had only met him a couple of days beforehand and she was introducing him to her parents and all of her friends.
He also lives 5 hours away. When I met him I had a weird feeling but I just ignored it because I trusted her judgment.
A couple of months later the three of us were hanging out when Mary asked if her partner, let’s call him Mat, could come over and stay with me while she went to an appointment the next day.
Because he would just be by himself with her parents. I said it was fine and it went by with no complications. She however continued to ask me if he could come over more and more until eventually he would text me every time she would go to work or school or anything else really.
Eventually, I started to get a little weirded out. Especially after he started talking to me about his late sister Kat. She died when he was very young. From what I could get, she and I were born in the same year, with brown hair, and eyes, and he says we look alike.
I pointed out that those are common traits and that he shouldn’t compare us. And that he was my friend’s partner, not my brother. But he only insisted that he was my brother now since even though I was alive when she died, I had to be his sister.
That’s when he started buying me things, at first it was small but they grew and grew until I had to beg him to stop getting me things. He would also tell my younger sister that he was her brother too and she ended up putting him in her school family tree assignment because of it and he would bring that up every time I asked him to stop hugging me or cuddling me.
One time he even came into my house very early in the morning and laid in my sheets with me while I slept and watched something on my TV. When I woke up I wanted to kick him out but he apologized and he said he wouldn’t do it again and I knew Mary would get upset if I did that.
But things changed when Mary told me he was disloyal to her. When that happened I finally had a reason to stop letting him come over and I took it. When it first happened he said he was cutting me off, which I never responded to.
But then he sent me a long text saying that I was a terrible person, that he regretted buying me anything, and that he just wanted to be a good brother to me. I texted Mary and she said she’s staying with him and I asked her if that was really what she wanted. And she said yes, so I then asked her if she could tell him not to text me anymore and that whatever he’s done is on him.
But he texted me saying to keep her out of it and that this is between him and me. And that I always treated him terribly. I told him to stop texting me and that I thought I made it clear that he was Mary’s partner first always.
But recently, I’ve been doubting myself. Everyone I talk to says he’s in the wrong but Mary won’t talk to me still. So Am I The Jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – This guy has some serious mental issues he needs to work out about you and his sister.
You need to put a final stop to this. People with this level of mental illness will never stop and may crack into perpetrating violence. You need to get an RO immediately before this guy does something harmful to you. And if that ends a friendship oh well, you have no choice as she doesn’t respect your friendship or your boundaries to see the danger.” mustng66
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. This guy’s behavior is way over the line and super creepy. You didn’t invite any of this; he imposed himself on you and even invaded your personal space. It’s not cool that he tried to shoehorn himself into your life as a “brother,” especially when you made it clear you weren’t comfortable with it.
He even went as far as to be disloyal to your friend and still act like you’re the bad guy. Nah, you did the right thing by cutting him off. You’re not responsible for his delusions. Don’t doubt yourself; you’re in the clear here.” biopticstream
Another User Comments:
“Bruh, he was weird straight away, being with your friend didn’t give you any need to put up with it. You need to put your foot down, keep this creep away from you and if Mary won’t break up with him she should stay away from you too.
this guy is seriously mentally ill and shouldn’t be anywhere near any of you. The age gap to Mary, and the fact that they got serious immediately overnight, it all sounds super predatory and creepy. It’s at the point I’d be going to the cops, finding out if you have enough to get a restraining order, making sure your sister knows he broke in, is creepy and dangerous and to never talk to him or contact him as he’s ill, etc. NTJ.” User
10. AITJ For Leaving Dirty Dishes and Going to Work, Resulting in Losing My Job?
“I 20F don’t have a very good relationship with my mother. My mom, I’ll admit, is my supporter yet biggest critic. I know she will always help me if I need it. She loves to have some power over me like she wants me to rely on her.
I recently just started going to therapy to help heal my views on my mom.
I work 7 days a week. 9 – 5 weekdays, waitress on the weekends. I want to make sure I’m set for the move in two months. I help out around the house doing ALL MY chores but other than that I try not to be there often.
My brother 15M and I alternate dish days. But on Saturdays, I clean the bathroom, he wash the dishes. I wasn’t home all day Saturday. I got home around midnight and just went to bed. At 3 am, I got woken up to do the dishes.
I told her it wasn’t my day. My mom said since we can’t come to an agreement we both need to wash them. I told my brother he knows the drill, and I’m not about to argue with you. I waited for him to finish the dishes while I lay on the couch.
When I didn’t hear the water running or pots moving. I got up only to find him knocked out in his bed. I woke him up and told him to do the dishes. He told me “No you do them, it’s technically your day”. ( the night before was my day and I left 3 plates in the sink).
He went back to bed and after 3 attempts to get him up, I just went to bed. I had work in the morning at 8.
This is where I know I messed up. I should have just been the bigger person and done the dishes but I just thought, none of these dishes are mine and my brother is a brat.
So I woke up, got ready for work, and left, thinking my brother would wake up and do the dishes. He did but let’s just say my mom took things to the extreme to show me who’s boss. I went to work and started setting up for the breakfast shift. NOT EVEN BEING THERE FOR 20 MINS, my mom walks into the restaurant yelling I need to get my rear home and clean the kitchen.
I was SO embarrassed. My manager said to leave. I got a call later stating they didn’t want that behavior at their restaurant, and rightfully so.
Now I need a new job. This sucks cause I have to go through a whole training process again and I don’t know if I’ll even make more money.
(I was making over $700 a weekend just from serving). I’m annoyed because the job I was at, I was there for a year ( would be a year next week, which was my goal because I had never been at a job longer than 6 months prior).
My mom now wants me to apologize to her for disrespecting her in her own home. I don’t think she deserves one because she knows I’m saving this money for school. When I told her that… the smile on her face when she said “You’ll be back” was driving me to prove her wrong.
I’m done dwelling on this as I need to move forward. But I just want to know AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If your brother can’t be bothered to do the dishes on Saturday as has been the norm and then pulls the “well, it’s not my day now so you do them”, you are fully justified in leaving and going to work.
On top of that, your mother is a real piece of work. Storming into someone’s place of work to complain at them over dishes is inexcusable and even ends up costing you your job. It’s no wonder you are in therapy to help with your relationship with her.
She sounds like a manipulative control freak. When you move out in 2 months’ time, I would highly recommend limiting contact with both her and your brother if not cutting contact completely.” kboyer36
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your mother has no business storming into your employment place and starting an argument over something pitiful as doing the dishes.
Maybe she should invest in getting a dishwasher machine. Otherwise, it sounds like your mom is using her “support” of you as a source of her way to vent and rant. Hopefully, you’ll get another job as well as get a degree.” Raspberryandlaugh
9. AITJ For Admitting I Don't Feel Like My Stepdaughter's Parent?
“I (34F) have been married for 4 years. I have a stepdaughter Ada (12), a bio daughter Serenity (2.5), and a bio son Milan (4 months).
My husband James was married before we met and he lost his wife when Ada was only 3. I met them when Ada was 6 and she was 7 when my husband and I became more than friends. Ada and I have a difficult relationship. I love her and I would never take any of this out on her but she does not love me back and she resists my place in her life.
Most people assume that because she doesn’t remember her mom and because she liked me when I was just her dad’s friend, I am essentially her mom now and that our relationship should reflect that. But once the relationship with my husband changed and Ada became aware, my relationship with her changed. She closed off from me and has remained that way.
We have been in therapy together. She has never said why it bothered her that her dad and I started seeing each other. She has been asked by my husband, by me, by the therapist, and by her aunt (my husband’s sister) but she never answers.
Day to day I do a lot of caregiving for Ada alongside my bio kids. Even before they arrived, I was primarily the person who did the cooking and was the person with the ability to leave work if Ada got sick and needed to come home.
I spend time with her and have attempted to reignite the bond we shared before. But I never got there. I am available to help with homework if needed. I make sure she has what she needs. If she wanted comfort from me I would give it, though she usually rejects it from me.
I still love her but I don’t truly consider myself her parent. I never wanted to take her mom’s place. I would be thrilled to be her stepmom who she trusts. But I never left the “she’s married to my dad” stage with Ada. I know she doesn’t see me as a family of any kind because in school she had a few projects where they had to do a diagram of people they considered family and she never added me.
But still, most people call me a parent of three and some will call me a mom of three. My husband’s parents mentioned recently that I make being a parent of three kids look so easy. They said I probably want a bunch more and to be a mom of many kids since it suits me so well.
I was feeling really low that day and I admitted to them I feel like a fraud when people consider me a parent to three because I do not feel like a parent of three and I don’t feel like I’m Ada’s parent. I sort of feel like someone who is just around her more than average.
They were shocked and told me I was being silly and of course, I’m her parent. They said I’m her mom. I told them Ada would be adamant that I am no mother to her. They got kind of snappy with me and told me I should not be taking a kid’s words to heart.
They told me I was going to make Ada feel unloved if I kept feeling the way I did and thinking as I did. My husband got home just then and he told them to leave and defended me. But the words struck a chord with me.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. They were probably surprised because that’s not the picture they were imagining of your family dynamics. However, a word of caution. Don’t go around telling people that because if your relationship with your step-child does change, you don’t want it to be common knowledge that you had a rough relationship.
It’s tough being in your place and I get why you feel that way. It just might not be the most beneficial for you to share that with most people.” characterisapower
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She was ok with you being Dad’s friend, and when it became more that’s when it changed. I suspect she does remember her Mum.
Naturally, she will see you as trying to replace her Mum. Regardless of your feelings, her feelings are unlikely to change. All you can do is your best maybe be a friend rather than a parent, don’t push the Mum thing, let her call you by your name.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“No I don’t think YTJ I think Ada will never look at you like her mother either, nor would she want to forget her mother who passed away. I think it’s good you are both in therapy to try and repair and create a bond between you both, but I imagine it is difficult for Ada.
She lost her mom fairly young and has to try to adapt to another motherly figure in her life, I don’t think she dislikes you but dealing with grief is a hard process.” MegRea678
8. AITJ For Only Displaying My Parents' Wedding Photos, Not My Dad's Second Wedding?
“My mom passed away when I (27f) was 8. My younger brother was 5 at the time.
Dad dedicated time to us over the next 6 years and did not see anyone else. But when I was 14 he sat my brother and me down and explained to us that he was interested in seeing others again and it would not replace our mom but he felt ready to find someone to share his life with again.
We both had conflicting emotions. We told him this. But we also told him we wanted him to be happy. The three of us went to therapy together and the therapist explained to him that conflicting emotions would play a role in that kind of thing going forward.
She said our love for him would always mean we wanted his happiness but that our love for our mom would mean we wouldn’t share the same level of joy as him. Dad asked some questions about that and she said he should expect us to be respectful and that it would be nice if we could like her, but anything more would be down to chance.
She told him to not take our relationship with a future partner of his as a reflection of our relationship with him or his parenting of us.
She told us to keep an open mind and suggested that if we struggle to see him with someone else, or if he were to get married and the wedding was tough, to consider journaling or finding a trusted someone we could speak to who wasn’t our dad.
She said we could keep the lines of communication open with him and confide in him. But if it was an ongoing weirdness that maybe someone else would be the better confidant.
Dad did meet someone and he has been married to Beth for the last 11 years.
Beth was a widowed mom and had lost her husband some years prior. But unlike my dad Beth’s first marriage was toxic and unhealthy and this is where I think some of the drama has come into play.
When I moved out I asked dad for some copies of his and mom’s wedding photos and he gave them to me gladly.
I have a couple of them on display in my home and others I keep in a little treasure album I put together. Beth and Beth’s youngest child are upset that I display photos from my parents’ wedding and not her and my dad’s wedding.
She spoke to me about it several months ago and told me it would really make her and the kids feel accepted if I were to display one from each wedding instead of just my parents’ wedding. I explained to her that I enjoyed seeing my parents’ wedding photos and I did not do it to hurt her or any of her kids but the photos would remain.
She escalated the dispute the other week when she complained to my dad about it for the first time. He called and asked me if she had said something to me. I said yes, he apologized, and she told me that all I had to do was swap out one of my parents’ wedding photos for one from her wedding to dad.
She told me I didn’t support my dad and neither did my brother since we showed no fondness for their wedding. She accused me of hating them and she told me that this was “our happily ever after” and I was stomping all over that.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Have you reported all these red flags to your dad? It feels like she’s trying to alienate you two siblings with him. You and your brother obviously still care about your dad and she’s trying to turn this into something about you guys not supporting him.” Lucallia
Another User Comments:
“I’m sorry, but am I reading this right? Is this woman actually trying to tell a whole grown woman what she may or may not display in her own home? Not gonna lie, I’d go full petty. Every picture, all the pictures, I’d threaten to turn them into wallpaper and cover every surface in my house if she ever opened her mouth again on this subject.
Like I’d ever let someone else tell me what I can or can not do in my own home. NTJ” Mindless-Locksmith76
Another User Comments:
“NTJ — She is the one with the hang-ups. A happy family is one that respects one another, finds time to love and be kind especially around difficult topics and does not ask someone to change surrounding the death of her mother.
It’s a picture of your parents. Your mom will not be erased no matter what she says or manipulates you all to make her feel better. She sounds controlling and self-centered to the core. Sorry you are experiencing this. You are not a jerk…not even in the slightest. Her magical image of what ‘represents’ a family is manipulated by actions and rules.
Best to you.” DesertSong-LaLa
7. AITJ For Cancelling My Baby Shower Because My SIL Invited My Estranged Biological Family?
“My husband and I are expecting our first baby in a few months and my SIL offered to throw us a baby shower.
I was really in love with the idea and accepted and then my MIL got involved. But my SIL disrespected the one clear boundary regarding the baby shower that I had and she refuses to let it go despite being told by not only me, but MIL and my husband as well.
She insisted that my half-siblings should be invited as well as finding bio family from both sides and inviting them. This is an absolutely never thing for me. I did not invite them to my wedding and I have not seen or spoken to them in several years.
But she’s going extremely hard on the “but family” argument.
Background: I’m an affair baby. My father was unfaithful to his wife and I was the result. His wife kicked him to the curb and he and my mother stayed together. I was born and they did not take care of me and when I was 3 I was removed from their care by CPS.
None of my biological family wanted me. My mother’s family were supposedly good Christians who couldn’t stand the thought of an illegitimate affair baby and my father’s family were “not in the position to take care of such a young child”.
My father’s ex-wife ended up taking me.
I’m not sure why. The fact she was paid to take care of me was possibly the reason. I do know is I was not loved. My half-siblings ranged from 11 to 17 at the time and they all disliked me. It was made perfectly clear to me from a young age that I was never to call her mom and I was never to call them my brothers and sisters.
My father’s family was still in their lives and knew how I was treated and they wouldn’t even report it to my case worker. I mentioned it once or twice but I think she found it easier to dismiss a kid’s words. My childhood was miserable and I was seen as a burden and as someone who should never have been born.
My half-siblings continued visiting their mom as adults and all just made it clear they couldn’t stand me and were disgusted by my presence. I just left when I was 16 and nobody ever reported me missing or came looking for me.
My SIL knows my background and she knows that I would never want them in my life again.
But push she continues to do and I spoke to my MIL and she tried to take over more but SIL insisted that she had offered first. When she brought it up again I told her to cancel the shower and that I would rather have no shower than one thrown by her when she can’t respect my boundaries.
MIL stepped in and is now hosting one but SIL is upset because she had spent a while planning and had paid for some stuff already. MIL said she’d give her the money back but SIL said I was in the wrong and I should appreciate her for wanting to “give me back my family”.
I told her I had no family until I met them and she needs to accept that my blood relatives do not want me and I do not want them.
I know she keeps telling my husband how wrong I was and he keeps defending me but I feel bad about the tension now.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“I’m really sorry, OP but people who come from decent families can have absolutely no clue what it’s like to come from a really bad one. I don’t talk about my own very bad family among normal respectable people, because they just aren’t going to understand, and there’s good odds that they wouldn’t even believe the truth.” Echo-Azure
Another User Comments:
“SIL will never understand. She wants to be your savior, your hero. She knows better than you, and you will be so grateful to her for reuniting your family. Yuck. Has she actually contacted these people? Are you no contact with them, or do you just stay apart by mutual consent?” QuietCelery7850
Another User Comments:
“NTJ at all. However because I can tell how deeply you care for her you can try another approach, “SIL I know you can’t imagine not being surrounded by family and love at this exciting time and want to give me this gift. Unfortunately, that isn’t my reality and even the magic of a baby can’t transform things.
You need to understand and respect this because I can’t accept this stress or negativity in my pregnancy or child’s life. You have been told this clearly by everyone. Respect it. You need to think about why this is so important to you, and why you think that is more important than my boundaries.”” quarkfan4552
6. AITJ For Considering Full Custody and Child Support From My Ex?
“My (28F) ex (31M) and I were together for 12 years and have 3 children (11M, 6F, 5M). I told my ex at the end of 2021 that I did not want to be together anymore, this was after a few years of feeling generally unhappy due to the fact that all he wanted to do was play video games, he was usually unemployed or had sporadic employment since 2017 and he didn’t help with housework or the kids without being asked and when he would help he would make a big deal about it.
He refused to go to therapy or work on himself and I was too exhausted trying to take care of our kids and home on my own and I gave up.
In early 2022 he got ill and long story short it led to the doctors finding a small node of cancer in one of his lungs.
I took care of him through this process and I guess he thought that meant everything was fine. I had to reiterate to him that I did not want to be in a relationship and he needed to get his act together for the kids.
I gave him my first car (that I paid for) because I got a new one and he never made an effort to get his own vehicle. He started a job, but lost it in a few months. I had him claim one of the kids on his taxes because I knew he’d get a good chunk of money for what his income was.
He got close to $10k and blew through it on fast food, video games, unhealthy habits and whatever else he wanted. Not spending any of it on the kids or getting himself a place. Once he blew through his money he got a job at Jimmy John’s and applied for income-based housing which takes forever to get approved. Then he would just go work a few hours a day at Jimmy John’s, come home, get on his computer and sit there until he wanted to go somewhere, eat or sleep.
I finally got fed up and told him in June of this year (2023) that he had until the end of July to move. I told him that I would help him with a deposit if it was a place he could have the kids over.
He asked me to take out a loan in my name for him. I refused. He left June 8th 2023 to rent a bedroom from some random man he found on social media.
(The home we live in is owned by my mother and I pay her directly.)
Since June 8th he has not kept the kids overnight a single time because he is unable to do so due to not having space for them. He has seen them an equivalent of 2 days and 6 hours since he moved out, usually about once a week ranging from 1.5-4 hours on average.
Typically just taking them over to his friend’s house to play with their kid, not him actually interacting with them. And he has contributed less than $3000 for the entire year towards the children.
Everyone in our life, friends, family, etc. keeps telling me to go after him for child support and take the kids.
However, I am on the fence because I WANT him to be involved, I want him to do better for himself and them, but I also think he can’t handle it. I’m worried if I go after him for child support he will never get it together, but sometimes I need financial assistance for the kids.
So WIBTJ if I went for full custody and child support?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. When I got full custody of my daughter (a long time ago, probably 20 years or so) the judge gave my ex a list of things he needed to do in order to regain 50/50 custody.
Something like that might be the kick in the butt your ex needs to get his act together. Of course, my ex didn’t do any of the things on the list, but maybe yours will do better! And no matter what, you should be getting child support.
That money is for the kids!” mlsinpa69
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you can ask for full custody with visitation at your discretion. Then it’s up to him to use it and rebuild a relationship. Asking for custody and child support isn’t punishing him or being cruel.
It’s doing what’s best for your children and protecting both them and yourself.” BunbunmamaCA
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Formally going for full custody is just the obviously smart thing to do. Try to regulate visitation if possible so that he’s forced to be responsible about when he sees them and where he’s taking them.
Expecting child support from someone who refuses to have wages to garnish is probably going to be a disappointment. Worth doing. Just get everything documented and official. Thankfully your mom owns the house so he has no claim to that.” Western_Fuzzy
5. AITJ For Moving The Family's Stray Cat Into My Partner's House?
“So a few years ago a stray cat came up to my family’s house near starving to death in the middle of winter.
We fed her and my parents wanted that to be the end of it. I was concerned for the cat and thought she’d freeze to death so I tried to get her to be allowed inside. They refused. After feeding her she just stayed by the door the entire day so when night came my friend (who my parents adopted) and I went out to my car and slept with her.
This was enough for my parents to agree to let her into the attached garage.
Moving forward a few years she has stuck around as an in/out cat. We lived on 8 acres. We had installed a cat door to the garage and she had water and a very very small litter box in there.
Most of the day she was allowed inside the house and she’d sleep on my bed. I feel it’s important to add that she knew what houses were and that that made it clear to me she was abandoned. But they never let her spend the night unless there was a tornado.
I had always been under the assumption she was “my cat”, given the rest of the family didn’t want to keep her at the start, and that I would one day take her. I picked a date, letting my parents know I’d be trying to move her into a fully indoor cat in my partner’s home, who the cat is very familiar with.
I wanted to keep her and felt it was unsafe for her to be outside specifically at night for many reasons: we have bald eagles, coyotes, stay dogs, and foxes, she had come to us near death, she was abandoned, and my parents didn’t let her come in during the night.
But she had lived this long in these conditions and seemed happy with them so if she was unhappy with us I would bring her back to my parents.
I chose to do it this way for two main reasons: 1. My partner needed a companion animal and getting another kitten and then trying to move in together would have been even harder on my cat and 2.
If it didn’t work out we could return the cat and get a kitten. We wouldn’t have to wait another half year to a year to get a different pet.
We took the cat and the drive was pretty bad. She hates carriers and cars.
Once we got going I took her out of the carrier and held her. This helped her calm down a lot. The drive was 1.5 hours. About an hour in she threw up. We are unsure if this was motion sickness or stress. Once at the new home, we confined her to my partner’s room for the first week.
Within 1 hour she was eating, drinking, and exploring. Within 12 she had used the litter box. She did spend most of the time under the bed but whenever we came and sat on the ground she’d come and rub against us and purr.
My family was mad.
Mom was just worried for the cat, Dad was angry about losing his pest control, but my friend was livid. She even claimed I was selfish after she wanted to take the cat before but the cat hated her. I don’t want to hurt the cat, but this I feel is the safest situation for her.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – All cats should be indoor cats if you don’t live in a barn. This was the wise and humane thing to do. Dad should call the local humane society and ask about professional work cats (feral cats that need homes) that will live in the garage and do pest control.
Hurray for saving a kitty and giving them a good life.” catstaffer329
Another User Comments:
“NTJ sounds like you’re the one who cared most for the cat and didn’t realize everyone else formed bonds. Send your mom and friend pics of how the cat is cuddly.
Maybe ask your dad if he’d like a barn cat. Lots of shelters have barn cats that “failed” the indoor cat rehab life. Then ya’ll will have saved two cats.” Top-Yam1151
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. The cat is eating, exploring, and adjusting quite nicely. It knows you both and is coming out to sit with you and purr, it’s just getting its bearings.
If it was scared badly it would be constantly hiding and not engaging. Deciding to stay under a bed is normal cat behavior often enough, just because they like dark and confined spaces they can control. Coming from the wild it’s a safety thing too, staying out of sight of possible predators.
You’re taking good care of it, make sure you do get it to the vet for its shots, etc. but so long as it’s happy you did the right thing. This is also a much safer environment and will increase its lifespan and quality of life.” SingularityMechanics
4. AITJ For Standing Up During A Concert?
“Basically, I was at a John Mayer concert, in a pretty good seat but off to the side (not in the pit, which is relevant).
When JM came out, he was playing a really rockin’ tune, so I stood up and started jamming out. I would say ~90% of the people in the arena were standing for this, but my section was a disproportionately sitting one. I was really the only one in the immediate area standing.
I would stand and sit intermittently as the songs went on based on the dance factor of the song and how much I liked it.
At one point while I was standing up, two women about four rows behind me started throwing popcorn at me and yelling at me to sit down.
I got really embarrassed and sat, but after a few minutes I was upset with how they had handled it, so a few songs later, I stood back up (with the help of my partner and a few other people around us who had seen the exchange).
By this point, a few other isolated people/couples had done the same for a couple of songs at a time. My “petty revenge” was subtly encouraging people around me to stand up, helping create a majority so that a.) it would be fine for me to stand and b.) the women would have a harder time telling 20 people to sit down.
Am I the jerk? I want to believe I’m not, mostly because I think throwing popcorn at someone is incredibly rude, at which point I didn’t care, and I would have responded much more sympathetically to a more gentle approach. Other people felt that I was not entitled to any courtesies because I started the jerk train by standing in the first place, and honestly I understand that too, which is why I sat down in the first place.
I didn’t want to be rude and block views. But I also believed that I wasn’t in the wrong to stand given the nature of the act–he’s got some jams and is very encouraging of light dancing. Still, for people who just wanted to sit down and enjoy the show, I was definitely hurting the experience.
Please let me know what you think.”
Another User Comments:
“I am one of those people who do not stand at concerts unless the people in front of me are standing and making it impossible for me to see, but I get that that is how most people who are not me enjoy concerts, so I deal with it.
Even though I sympathize with them, I think the two geniuses who started throwing popcorn at you were out of line. They are the jerks.” flignir
Another User Comments:
“Sit your butt down if there are people behind you sitting. Don’t ruin their experience because you feel the need to awkwardly dance to John Mayer.
And then you got other people to stand to further make them angry? Dude, you’re a jerk!” Space_Lift
Another User Comments:
“You are not the jerk. I have no idea what the atmosphere of a John Mayer concert is, but I have been to many concerts with all different environments and I have never attended a concert where it was frowned upon to stand.
Yeah, those people may be paying for a seat, but you’re paying for an expected experience as well. Standing at an opera, may not be okay, but this is a pop concert. HOWEVER, whether it is okay for you to stand or not these women are ultimately jerks for one reason and one reason only, WHEN IS IT EVER ACCEPTABLE TO THROW FOOD AT A STRANGER at an organized event??
How utterly immature. This is not the middle school lunchroom. We do not solve problems by pouring milk over someone’s head or chucking fries at their back. If they had a problem, they could have confronted you, or talked to security or an usher to solve their issues.” User
3. AITJ For Leaving My Partner's Family Home Without Cleaning Up Their Mess?
“I (20F) and my partner(20M) have been together since April of this year. I lived in a different state when we started seeing each other and moved back to his state/our hometown to be closer to him and my family.
I have a son(10 months) and my partner has been helping me raise him since his bio dad isn’t in the picture. We lived with some of my family for a little while before his family offered to let us stay at one of their houses.
The way the houses are situated is:
Partner’s Mom and Stepdad live alone in one trailer that’s nice and renovated while his 17-year-old siblings live in a separate trailer that hasn’t been taken care of at all.
We moved in with his siblings and I did my best to clean up while taking care of my son.
His mom decided that since her kids work and go to high school and my partner works full time while I’m a stay-at-home mom I need to keep the whole house clean. At first, I was fine with this and did my best to keep things clean but her kids kept piling up trash in the kitchen and never helping clean anything.
Any time I mentioned this I was blamed for the mess when it was like that when we moved in. My partner’s mom has texted him talking bad about me to him when they do not know me at all and have only met me a few times.
All of this drama, filthiness, and disrespect came to a climax yesterday.
I woke up and started cleaning up some clothes off our bedroom floor and found MAGGOTS on my son’s towel. My partner saw them as well but was in the process of leaving for work and couldn’t help me clean them.
I thought it was only in our room but I found even more in the living room and kitchen so I called his mom and told her. They told me to check the kid’s rooms and I found some in his brother’s room as well.
They tried to tell me to bag all the trash and take it outside and sweep up all the maggots while also taking care of my kid by myself. I already told my partner if one more thing happened while living there that I’d be staying somewhere else so I called my sister who came to get me and I did not clean a single thing they told me to.
His mom texted me mad that I didn’t handle the trash but I ignored her, not having anything to say in response. Today I got a text from her insulting me and claiming there were no maggots in the house and that I was using it as an excuse to leave.
She sent me a screenshot of my partner’s sister saying she didn’t see any maggots and if they did have them that it was my partner’s and I’s a fault and that I was weird for going in their rooms after being told to.
My partner is at work and hasn’t seen the texts from today yet but he’s been supportive the whole time.
What I wanna know is, am I the jerk for not making the kids do their part and for leaving the trash the way it was and just leaving?”
Another User Comments:
“Okay. You’ve been with this guy six months and already live with him. Your son is ten months old, which means that you and your partner have been together since he was four months old. Six months into a relationship, this man should not even be meeting your child, let alone living with him.
You don’t even really know someone six months in. How long have you known this guy? Add to that the actual living situation, the fact that his mom doesn’t seem to care about how her minor children are living and that she was perfectly okay with a (basically) stranger moving in with her (again) minor children tells me that none of you are good at decision making and everyone is a jerk here.
YES, you should move out. You should completely get away from that entire family, and you should spend some time being single so that you can figure out where you are in life, where you need to be, what your goals are as a mother and an individual, and work toward that.
It’s not just you anymore. You have a child, and his needs are the priority. He needs a mom who is in a stable place and knows how to provide for herself and him.” Queen_Sized_Beauty
2. AITJ For Insisting on Bringing My Dog into My House Despite Partner's Objections?
“About a year ago I purchased my first home. For full context, I (29M) was already living with my partner (25F) when I bought the home solely in my name. I put the whole down payment and closing costs down but she does pay about 1/3 of the mortgage and utilities so she’s not just living here for free by any means.
She’s HARD against me having my dog here. My dog is a 4-ish-year-old black lab mix who’s huge. Closer in height to a great Dane than a normal lab and is roughly 115 pounds. When I first got her I’ll be the first to say I didn’t have the time to train her with my 60+ hour weeks and living alone and out of town at the time.
With how much I worked I felt bad leaving her in a crate so I left her out in the house and on more than a couple occasions she chewed things up like the corners of the coffee table, the carpet in a spare bedroom, a pair of my partner’s shoes (which I replaced), and stuff like that.
And of course, with her being a puppy and being out she had quite a few accidents inside but was always pretty darn good when I was home.
When I moved back to my home town I moved in with my partner and her friend (25F also) and the apartment wouldn’t allow pets so I left my dog at my mom’s.
After I bought the house I kept saying how excited I was to have my dog back and my partner constantly made ugly remarks about it like I don’t miss/love her and she is going to destroy the house etc etc. I keep telling her if she does chew on something I would replace it just as I had done before but that she doesn’t have to worry because my dog is now older and has grown out of the chewing phase.
With how badly she reacted I kept making up BS excuses to my mom on why I couldn’t take my dog until recently.
My partner has always wanted a Golden Doodle and sent me a picture of one a few months ago and said can I get him?
I said sure, as long as it is a 2 dog household (obviously meaning I get to bring my dog) and she said okay and I put the deposit on the dog as her birthday present.
We now have said puppy and I mentioned going to get my dog and she lost it.
Yelling, crying, saying she’s moving out, and refusing to be around her because she’s allergic (which I don’t buy because it’s 50/50 whether she even sneezes when going to a house with 5 dogs). Then she started saying how I won’t take her out and she’ll go in the house which I find hilarious with her getting a puppy and two our house has a fenced-in backyard.
I told her that we made a deal and she said she didn’t think I would bring my dog over and she would just have hers. I pretty much said tough luck, I’m going to get MY dog and bring her to MY house.
AITJ for putting my foot down and saying either get rid of your dog or I do get to bring mine over as we agreed?”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk – sorry, but for neglecting the dog when you first got it … you’re a jerk for that.
And had you not let your dog destroy your place, your partner likely wouldn’t have become “allergic”. I can’t blame her for not wanting to live with a poorly behaved dog. But getting another dog and refusing to allow your old dog back in makes her a jerk.
Also, why would you even put a deposit down on this new dog before the issue of the old one was solved?” jrm1102
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. You’re a jerk for getting a dog when you worked 60 hours a week and couldn’t take care of it and then dumping it on your mom.
You’re a jerk for taking the dog back after 4 years when your dog is already used to and loves its current home. You’re a jerk for the “MY house MY rules” attitude when you’re supposedly trying to make your partner a part of your life.
She’s your partner, not your child.” Poison-Ivy126
1. AITJ For Refusing To Pay Insurance For A Car I Don't Really Use?
“I (30f) have no license but I am planning to get one next year. It’s always a money thing that all of us know I guess.
I have 2 kids (12f and 9f) the 3rd is in coming soon. Since I have my kids, my grandpa who lives 4 hrs away from me, always provided a car for my mother, so she could drive the kids to school, etc. Back then when my mother(50f) moved to my state 11 years ago, I lived in a city where it was necessary.
School and kindergarten were not around the corner. Grandpa always paid the bills for the car, because my mom didn’t work (for almost 2 decades, that’s why she could move to my state “effortlessly”) and I was in an apprenticeship back then, so I had low income.
At the beginning of this year, my grandpa (80m) said that he wouldn’t pay 2000 bucks to repair the old car because it would be over the price for it. And he wouldn’t get a “new” one either. His reason: he paid almost 30 years for cars my mom had.
(Mom got her license while pregnant with me and my twin).
My partner (27m) and I were ok with it. We never complained and we thought, “No car? Cool we have our monthly train tickets and the kid’s schools are around so no need for that“ and in the worst case, his mom or grandma lives near and has cars.
Everything was alright until 2 weeks ago. A little bit of background: Mother was with Grandpa 3 weeks beforehand because he needed help around the house. I called a few times and my mother told me, she would get a “new car.” Nothing else was said. Because of the history in my family about such topics I wasn’t amused but I kept quiet.
On now 2 weeks ago I asked my mother if she could drive me to a hardware store because we needed a new kitchen countertop. I gave her 20 bucks for gas and we went our way. (It’s a car with 5seats)
When we wanted to get out of the car, my mom practically threw her deal with Grandpa at me.
Grandpa and her plan were, that I pay insurance for the car because my mother only gets money from social service and that wouldn’t be enough to pay it. My eyes went wide and I asked if she would be for real. Because I always pay more money for the gas than needed. And I am not using the car.
Once a week at best. She got offended by my question. She said “We bought the car for the baby“ made no sense to me to put the baby on the spot here. Like I said in the beginning we were ok without a car.
And if you think about it, 5 seats and we are in total 6 people. So one person would always be left out.
Because my mother has a history of turning around words others said, I called my grandpa when I got home to ask if it was also his idea to set me up.
He said yes. I tried to tell him that I didn’t like the fact of using my baby to buy my mother a car. And set the plan without talking to me first. He got really upset because I said I would refuse. His last words were: “If you don’t want to pay, then I will pay but you don’t drive in that car anymore.” I answered with a simple and calm “ok” and he hung up.
I didn’t speak to him, only sending him best wishes for his birthday. So AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ You don’t need the car. Maybe your mother told your grandfather, that you use the car a lot and that’s why he had those expectations regarding the insurance.
Just don’t pay for the car and live your life. Call your grandpa like you are used to and explain to him next time, that he maybe had a wrong impression of your car usage and that you don’t need it.” NixKlappt-Reddit
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Stop asking your mother for help period. Don’t give her any money and go LC. She’s not willing to provide for herself, so don’t provide for her. Call an Uber.” Ok_Day_8559
Another User Comments:
“YTJ Cars cost a lot more than gas.
There us tires, oil changes, brakes, batteries, depreciation, insurance, and endless repairs. In my world, gas is 1/4 the cost of running my car. How about you stop relying on others and focus on 100% supplying your transportation.” My_igloo_is_melting
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