People Demand That We Express Our Opinions On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
32. AITJ For Not Allowing My Mother-In-Law To Nap In Our Bedroom?
“My husband’s mom moved in with us a week ago. The minute we were informed she was going to move in (temporarily til her house gets renovated) we emptied a room specifically for her – it has everything. A bed with a frame, curtains, mounted TV, wardrobe, etc. She was thrilled with it and loved it a lot.
One day I came home and found her in my bedroom sleeping in my and my husband’s bed. I was confused but she told me she took a nap on the bed and lost track of time. Since then she started talking about how she loved the nap there and started hinting at wanting to take naps in the bedroom from now on.
I kept ignoring her comments til my husband sat me down and told me that his mom really liked and ‘got used’ to napping in our bedroom and we should just let her have her daily afternoon nap in the room.
I said ‘absolutely not’ and we started debating. I told him his mom is being ridiculous because she has a whole room upstairs where she should nap. He got upset and said that I was making his mom feel uncomfortable and unwelcome with this attitude.
I said NO and refused to negotiate.
He called me selfish and mean for saying no and preventing his mom from feeling comfortable at ‘his house’ but I reminded him that I pay the full mortgage for the house while he spends a lot on gadgets and consoles.
He accused me of bringing old disagreements in this current conflict to use against him. I said no again and that he should stop pushing because I need the room for when I get home feeling exhausted from working on my feet from 6 am.
He’s refusing to speak to me til I agree and let his mom have her nap in there. AITJ for choosing this hill to die on as he says? Am I being difficult?”
31. AITJ For Getting My Father's Child Support?
“My father is a jerk. When he got my mother pregnant he wanted her to quit her job and just stay home to ‘be a good little wife and mother’.
He is very well off due to a trust fund and he doesn’t really need to work. My mother refused and divorced him. Because of a prenup, she got very little and he moved back to Europe. His parents never knew about me and my mother had a good profession and I never really wanted anything.
My grandmother and grandfather, her mom and dad were awesome, and I got to spend my summers exploring the wilds of Western Canada with them. My father never paid the child support he should have. Like I said it didn’t really matter.
My mom makes good money and she gave me a great life as a child.
So the point of this story: I’m (F28) getting married. I met the love of my life (M31) at university and we have been together for eight years.
He is a wonderful person and he really is my lobster. (Sorry, Friends reference).
His family is from the same city as my father and they are a huge rambunctious bunch. Because of a lot of intermingled business and personal relationships, my paternal grandparents found out about my impending wedding and me I suppose.
They have been in contact and want to come to Canada to meet me and my fiance who I guess is a grandson of an acquaintance of theirs. Small world.
When they found out that my father had basically abandoned me to fend for myself in this world, this is honestly how they see it, they were mad, to say the least. It is very funny because we are decidedly upper middle class here.
So long story short they had their lawyer calculate the amount of child support my father should have paid with interest and the cost of my post-secondary education. They then gave me this as a gift. What I didn’t know was that it came out of my father’s yearly draw on his trust fund.
He is furious because it is obviously a sizeable amount and it will very much affect his finances for at least the next two years. He may need to, GASP, get a job.
He has been contacting me and telling me that his current wife and children will be negatively affected if I don’t give him back this money.
I don’t really need it. And I guess I am entitled to it and I am getting a trust fund now as well.
But I really want to pay off any debt my mother may have and make sure that when she retires she can do whatever suits her fancy.
I’m not giving it back.
AITJ?
Edit: My half-siblings will not really be affected. They have trust funds set up already and their tuition and fees and stuff are covered.
My grandparents’ family sets these up when a kid is born.
One of the reasons my father is upset is because since he didn’t bother to tell his parents about me they did not set this up. They have since taken a good chunk of his trust fund and used it to set mine up.
Realistically the principle being separated 28 years ago would have left him in the exact same position.
My mom was working on getting her Ph.D. so she could help kids with certain conditions. That is what he wanted her to walk away from.
My grandparents have sent me pictures of my family there. The coolest thing is that my grandfather looks like the granddad from The Parent Trap.
My mom never remarried. But she has had a special friend since I was five.
He is amazing and taught me to swear in Colombian Spanish.”
30. AITJ For Insisting On Paying My Niece For My Son's Birthday Cake?
“My 16-year-old niece Judy is into baking.
She bakes plenty of sweets and cakes. Due to my brother and his wife’s financial situation, Judy got dropped out of the cooking academy. She was heartbroken over this especially because she was the top of her class. She was determined to go back to the cooking academy so she started selling stuff she bakes online to be able to afford her classes.
Her parents thought the cooking academy was a distraction from school and disapproved of it though. They started demanding she bakes for neighbors and friends for free.
My son’s 4th birthday was last week. I asked Judy if she could bake a cake for 50$.
She agreed but my brother said no chance and swore up and down that she will do it for free. Judy said if she keeps working for free she’ll no longer be able to afford the academy, not to mention the ingredients.
I said I have no issue paying but my brother said we’re family and the cake was for free.
This didn’t sit right with me so I went behind my brother and his wife’s back and gave Judy the 50$ before they left the party.
Well, they found out and yelled at Judy for accepting the money, then my brother called saying I shouldn’t have paid her but I said she deserves the payment for her efforts but he went on about how unacceptable it is for family to pay for favors and said that Judy got grounded for acting so entitled. I had an argument with him and told him to stop the punishment but he said we wouldn’t be dealing with this if I didn’t go behind his back and give Judy the payment in the first place.
I hung up and then met up with my family to discuss this and they all agreed that I should never have sneaked my niece the funds and disrespect her parents’ wishes. They told me that I don’t even get to speak ill of my brother because he was just trying to be generous with me and was being real family.
I don’t know I feel I might be the jerk for this. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Inviting My Gay Cousin And His Partner To My Wedding?
“I (25F) have a gay cousin ‘Jake’ (22M) who is one of my best friends.
My parents are paying for my wedding. A lot of our family is extremely religious and homophobic. You can already tell where this is going.
I have a big family with over 20 cousins, but Jake is the only one I am close to.
I have always lived across the country from my cousins but Jake decided to go to college at my school in the city where I still live.
The wedding venue we chose will only accommodate 100 guests. Unfortunately, we both have big families so this has meant making some cuts to the guest list and I am not inviting any of my other cousins, except Jake.
My aunts and uncles are invited.
When my parents saw the guest list, which had Jake and his SO on it, they freaked out and said I could not invite them because it would make a lot of the other guests at the wedding uncomfortable.
I was very upset and said that they both already know I am inviting them since I see them all the time. They even helped me pick my dress and I already asked Jake to do a secular reading at the wedding.
My parents said that I need to tell Jake and his SO that they can’t come and that if I don’t want to hurt their feelings I can tell them that it’s because none of my other cousins are invited. I know they will see right through this.
Maybe the most heartbreaking part of all of this is that Jake genuinely thinks my parents are his allies in the family and he gushes about them all the time and how grateful he is for them because they have been way more accepting than the rest of the family.
My parents obviously are in fact homophobic but they have never said anything overtly hurtful to or in front of Jake, have never tried to stage a prayer intervention for him, and have met his SO and were nice to him – which the rest of our family including his own parents have done exactly the opposite of all of those things.
So I just had a massive fight with my parents over this and said that they should feel horrible about themselves because Jake thinks they are his lifeline and really they are cowards. It got VERY heated. I told them that they are bigots and I am so disappointed that if I am not allowed to have a say in who comes to my wedding then thanks but no thanks to them paying for it and we will literally go to the courthouse.
My fiancé is also disgusted by my parents’ behavior and says he is on board with an elopement if that’s what I want to do, but I know his family will be upset and that would cause problems for him/us.
My parents said I am in the wrong for using a family event to ‘make a political statement.’ They also said that I’m showing favoritism and being unfair by inviting Jake and not my other cousins, and by prioritizing Jake’s feelings over the feelings of my aunts and uncles and grandmother.”
28. AITJ For Calling The Cops On My Sister For Trespassing Into My House?
“So, I have two elderly parents I don’t talk to (they did not raise me).
A lot of family drama, and I’m the youngest of 8 children, all of whom I don’t talk to aside from my sister who is closest to me in age.
I have been an engineer for 20+ years and have never really put down roots.
I own a century home that I’ve been restoring for the last ten years, but it sits vacant for months at a time while I’m abroad, last year I took a job in Kuwait and won’t be back until next year.
The only ones allowed in the house are my son and my neighbor both of whom watch over my house for me while I’m gone.
I got a call three nights ago from my oldest sister whom I’ve never met.
She’s going through a messy divorce and wants to move into my house until it’s over, with two of her kids and her grandkid. I said no. She exploded on me saying I’ve never tried to be a member of the family and suggesting I was the reason my parents split up.
I probably am, but I really don’t care. All of these people are foreign to me.
The sister I do talk to won’t talk to me, saying I was heartless, and I got angry phone calls from a lot of ‘family’ saying much of the same.
A lot of guys at work agreed that I should have opened my home to them.
Fast forward to today, they had driven there and broken a window to gain entry to my home and my neighbor called me to inform me of the situation.
I called the cops and told them that I was out of the country and could not return, but would like them removed from the property, and she was arrested for trespassing. I told them I wasn’t pressing charges, and I received… more angry phone calls saying I shouldn’t have said no to begin with and should never have had her arrested. Apparently, most of my family and friends think I am a jerk.
My neighbor is going to board the window, and he said there is a bunch of trash all over the place that I told him to leave.
The thing is, she has a great job. She gets paid quite well.
And she should have just paid for a hotel instead of invading my home. I don’t really know. My family is my son and sister. Everyone else is just another person. Am I the jerk?
More context: I was raised by my grandparents.
I do not remember my parents when I was younger, and when they divorced when I was two, my mom’s parents took me in, why? My sister assumes it is because my dad told my mom at one point no more kids and they had me.
That is what my grandparents believed as well, but nobody has ever given me a real reason from the source, and it really isn’t important for me to find out.
I grew up 2 states away from the nearest relative and I had a great childhood.
My grandparents passed when I was 16. They were in their 90s to give further context, and at the reading of my grandpa’s will they wanted me to finish high school and live with one of their friends who agreed, and the court agreed to.
During the reading, I met my mom, one of my brothers who was 18 years my senior, and my sister who is 4 years my senior. My sister and I talked quite a bit. She was in the Army, I was going into the Army, how we were similar, etc… she was great, and always has been.
She is stationed in Hawaii and that is why she couldn’t take the older sis in.
Other than those two siblings, I have never met any of the others. They were cut out of my grandparents’ lives, so there was no contact with me either.
My mother contested the will because she felt she was entitled to more being their only daughter and because the will had been rewritten just three years before my grandmother, and eventually grandfather passed. The material objects I was given (ie family heirlooms, pictures, etc…) were put into a storage locker and paid for until I was 18.
I was cool with that, I didn’t have room.
While we were packaging up the estate my mom asked me if she could take some of the photos as she didn’t have many, and I agreed. I was a kid.
And I was dumb. After a few hours, I noticed my sister/brother/mother were gone and it was just me and my grandparents’ friends. And I noticed a year later that a lot of things were missing. All of the photo albums. Their wedding rings which were in a scrapbook I couldn’t locate and other misc items. I didn’t know who to blame, but I felt awful about it and suspected my mother.
A year after I found out about the missing stuff I was informed by probate that the executor of the will failed to pay the taxes on my grandparents’ house, and it was lost to back taxes which really upset me and I blamed my mother, because she was the one who contested it to begin with.
So I went into the Army. At 19 I had my son and was married shortly after. We invited all of my family once more, but only my sister came. She was stationed in Germany at the time so it was pretty great.
She told me how she was getting married soon, and showed me her ring. Which was my grandmother’s. I asked her about it and she said our mother said it was a family heirloom. Sure, I could have made a scene but we’d become close, and she was so happy, so I said nothing.
I told her about the missing stuff last year, and she said it was probably just a mistake, and that she would ask about the rings.
Six years later I divorced my wife amicably. There is a story with my ex-wife, but it really doesn’t matter.
I get along with her, she was a great mother to my son and is still pretty special to me. My son and I talk every day. Ever since I discovered Skype it has been our daily routine now facetime… not sure Skype still exists.
And I have let him know about his extended family as much as I know. About three months ago my sister told me my mother called me a liar, and that she didn’t have any of her parents’ things.
I shrugged it off. I can’t change it. Just an important life lesson.
And that’s the contact I’ve had with my family. I’ve never reached out since I was married forever ago. I’ve never met my dad.
All of my brothers and sisters have really great jobs. Pharmacist, a doctor, a couple of nurses, a therapist, etc… but I really don’t know them. But they are all self-sufficient from what I’m told.
I’m also a little neurotic, so this is how I view the landscape.
Black and white. I know that I’m intelligent, but emotions are a landscape that I don’t exactly comprehend, and I’ve never known why.”
27. AITJ For Trying To Keep A Little Girl Safe?
“So I (26F) went to the mall on Tuesday. Just to look around and see if I liked anything. About halfway through I saw a little girl (looked around 4) sobbing in the middle of the food court.
She looked alone so I walked up and asked if she was okay. She said she was lost and couldn’t find her daddy. I asked where she last saw him and she said ‘Right here,’ the spot we were standing at.
Apparently, he watched her on the merry-go-round (yes we have one in our mall), and when she got off he was gone.
I said I’d help her find him and started asking questions about him. She answered some and others she didn’t know.
Eventually, a woman comes up and picks up the girl saying ‘I found you!’
The girl took one look and started screaming and crying. The lady let the girl go and she ran to me and hugged my legs.
I asked the girl if she knew the woman and she was saying no. I said the girl wasn’t leaving unless her dad or someone she knew came to get her.
The lady was mad saying she was the mom.
I said that the girl didn’t recognize her so she wasn’t leaving with her. After about 10 minutes the girl said she saw her dad and she ran to a man and hugged him. She was saying ‘The nice lady helped me’ and the dad was thanking me profusely.
The lady got mad again and said I wouldn’t let the girl go to her. I said ‘The girl didn’t recognize you I was trying to help.’
The dad said that was the girl’s mom and she hadn’t met her before.
(I didn’t ask the reason) I apologized to the woman but she said I should have let her daughter go.
I feel bad. AITJ? I was just trying to keep the girl safe.”
26. AITJ For Defending My Husband From My Parents And Telling Them To Grow Up?
“My (f28) husband (m29) has depression.
It gets bad sometimes, but he does what he has to do to uplift himself and I try my best to help him as well.
My parents used to love my husband. I mean practically worship him, they texted him, they called him to check up on him, they invited him to every family gathering, the list goes on.
Then my husband lightly grazed over the topic of his depression and now they’re treating him like an outsider as if they’re gonna catch his depression.
Listen I love my husband. And this is something he struggles with, but he is not useless because of it.
He goes to therapy, he is on medication, he keeps himself exercised, he has a strict routine throughout the day, and is ultimately happy.
Sometimes I’ll see him getting into his own head too much or fading out during conversation.
Normal things I keep track of that tell me I should step in and help, but I do not do all the work. I am not his foundation and he is not completely dependent on me.
My parents stopped everything they were doing when they didn’t know he had depression.
Even when we went over for dinner they would cut it short by saying ‘Oh well it’s getting late’. It was 6:45 PM.
I got sick of it and addressed the ‘problem’. I asked them why they were treating my husband so horribly and they said.
‘Well, he’s sick. He can’t function by himself. I mean goodness how often does he even shower, you deserve someone better, he’s just… ‘damaged goods’. You deserve someone who’s going to take care of you, not you taking care of him.’
Am I wrong this sounds like some ignorant nonsense to me. I told them to grow up and stop living like we are in the 1900s, he’s not insane.
They gasped and said ‘We are just trying to help.
I mean you probably feel stuck in this marriage why else would you be with him?’
I told them until they can get their act together, stop acting like their crap doesn’t stink, and apologize to my husband they won’t be seeing us.
I said that they aren’t superior to anyone because of this fake image of themselves that they have created and I could never imagine them treating anyone like this.
They got my family involved, my sister said to cut THEM a break.
My brother is on my side, my aunt is saying I’m being overdramatic and my uncle is saying that I’m probably just mad because they were right.
Words can’t explain how much I want to rip everyone a new one.
My husband doesn’t deserve this at all. I’m more than happy in my marriage, he treats me like royalty and I couldn’t thank him enough.
I really REALLY don’t think I’m the jerk but I’m willing to listen.
AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Telling My Father That His Mom Is A Jerk And Deserves To Be Sick?
“I (19F) am going to college soon.
I have a very good relationship with my mother (40 smth F) and not so much with my father (40 smth M) since he was all my life abusive, one thing he has stopped doing for almost a year now.
It still doesn’t change the fact that I have so much trauma I struggle with in my current relationship.
Also, I need to mention that he tries to be a better father, but he has disappointed me so many times it’s hard to have any compassionate feelings regarding his situation.
Now, giving you some context, let me start with the actual story: his mother (70 smth F) is extremely ill, even dying.
My father’s abusive behavior comes from the trauma his own mother has caused. She used to be a rich lady, very proud, and thought nobody is like her since she raised her son by herself, one thing my father inherited from her.
We used to be quite well-off, but because of the global crisis, things have changed and I am so happy because, now, my dad knows he is nothing but a human being and not more than that.
She has humiliated my mum every chance she got and I hate her for that.
My mother is the best human being: compassionate, loving, and kind. She didn’t deserve people like my father or his family. Since my father was so busy, my mother took care of me and that’s why I turned out to be more humane.
My entrance exam is coming soon and my dad has moved his mother to our home due to her illness. All good til he told me that we might not make it to the exam because we don’t have people to take care of her.
I became livid. I screamed and accused and called him all things, especially that he is throwing away my 2 years of hard work (since I started to prepare for the exam) and my dream. I told him that she deserves what’s coming because she has always been a jerk to everybody, loving nobody else but herself.
My mother agreed with my reaction and some side of the family, but the other part thinks that I should be understanding and let bygones be bygones because she is still my grandmother and not blame her for what was in the past, even though she made ‘some’ mistakes.
So, AITJ?
EDIT: The exam is in another city and he has promised he will take me. About 100km away.”
24. AITJ For Not Offering To Drive My Friends After They Refused To Help Me Pay For My Car Damage?
“I went on a trip with my friends to celebrate a birthday a few months ago. I offered my car for us to drive, no problem. While there, my car is a victim of a hit-and-run. Pretty serious and expensive damage.
Nobody says anything other than ‘that sucks, sorry”.
I pay out of pocket to fix it which throws off my budget big time. One of my friends says ‘Well nobody contributed to my excess when I had an accident so…’ neglecting to mention that the accident didn’t happen on a trip they wouldn’t have otherwise been on if they weren’t doing something for the friendship group like in my case.
Whatever. I say nothing and fix it. My car, my problem – message received.
Fast forward to today, they ask me to drive to a festival we are all attending together. I say no thanks. They ask why, and I say I don’t really want to.
They point out my car is the most suitable to carry everyone. I concede it’s true, but still, the answer is no. They push and I say that I don’t want to because the incident above left a sour taste in my mouth and I’m in no rush to be offering lifts to unsympathetic people who left me with a huge bill on my own while chasing me for the paltry sums I owe them (think 10 dollars compared to the hundreds it cost to fix my car).
I was called petty for refusing to help my friends and entitled to expect them to fix my car when it’s part of the responsibility of owning one to fix it when things go wrong. I say they’re right, it’s also part of the privilege of owning one to decide who gets to ride it and I won’t be offering lifts.
My car my problem also means by car my rules.
Everyone is now mad at me since we always use my car and now they’re having to consider taxis/expensive alternatives.
AITJ?
I am fundamentally opposed to this hyper-individualistic ‘nobody owes anyone anything’ attitude society is developing.
I think it’ll be the death of us. I think we owe each other common decency, sympathy, kindness, and support – even when nothing obliges us to do so. This is why I think it would have been kind to offer to help with my car bill even if it is my car, but I also understand that not everyone feels that way.
My takeaway from this is if I, as the car owner, am expected to shoulder 100% of the risk, it is wise that I become more risk-averse than I historically have been. This is how I shall operate from now on.”
23. AITJ For Not Letting My Mother-In-Law Babysit My Kids Anymore?
“I (28F) used to have a great relationship with my MIL (58F) until my children started growing up. I have three boys, a 4-year-old, and 6-year-old twins.
My MIL wants the boys over the weekend to spend time with them and I am grateful she takes them so I can clean, relax and go out with my husband.
I am very peculiar about children eating fast food like McDonald’s and KFC. KFC, they’ve had along with Subway and some other fast food places but I avoid ordering from those places. When they get older, sure, I will be unable to stop them from eating fast food but when they are this young and eat what I give them I rather they don’t know McDonald’s even exists.
My MIL rolled her eyes the first time I mentioned this and asked her to not order it. She told me she thought I was being ridiculous because my husband ate McDonald’s every day after school and he turned out fine (insert him having the most delicate stomach I’ve seen on a human being).
I told her she can think it was silly, just to please not order it for the boys. She agreed. A few weekends ago surprise surprise the twins came back talking about ‘their secret meal from mummy’ and giggling around.
I took them to the mall and they were frantically pointing at the big M begging me to go.
I asked them how they knew it was so good and they said because they ate it but I can’t know (the FBI will draft them for their lying abilities for sure).
I called my MIL and told her I did not appreciate it and that she should at least tell me next time. She said okay, it was a one-time deal.
Next weekend, the same thing, except the kids ate a ton of snacks, drank only sugar drinks, and stayed up till 12 a.m. That includes the 4-year-old.
I tried to talk to my MIL again and told her we can make compromises but she needs to be willing to work with me.
Again, okay sure. Kids come back the third weekend giggling again and tell their dad they ate McDonald’s 3 times over at grandma’s.
I got annoyed at this point and just kept the kids the next weekend. My MIL came over and asked me if something was wrong. I told her I was disappointed she was completely ignoring me. She said it was her house her rules, I was controlling and needed to get myself a hobby.
She also called me a jerk when I said from now on she is welcome to visit them at our house but they won’t be going over to her house.
My husband backed me up which is nice but AITJ?
My mom said I overreacted.
Edit: I do know that lying is a bigger issue and that was discussed the first time and was cleared so far. The kids came back and we asked them what they ate and they told us everything.
My kids have become picky after eating so much junk and now refuse healthy foods and keep begging to get the same ‘cool’ nights they have at grandma’s. So yeah, she made fast food to be this unicorn food and I have to spend 20-30 minutes trying to explain why we cannot have cheeseburgers for dinner and candy and stay up late.
They have fast food at birthdays – KFC, Chick-fil-a… whatever the host serves they can have. This is about food habits and preferences.”
22. AITJ For Not Wearing The Dress My Mom Bought For Me To My Cousin's Wedding?
“My mom (61F) and I (23F) have a good relationship.
It has gotten better through the years as I have gotten older. One of the things we used to fight about a lot is the fact she wants to mold me into a mini version of her and have me do all the things she didn’t get to do.
(We have the exact same name, she got a gymnastics injury and couldn’t compete professionally so I had to compete professionally. She wanted to be on tv, I had to do castings since I was 6 months old ‘Gerber baby.’ She wanted to horseback so I had to do that.) It got really annoying because it was not at all what I wanted for my life.
In college, it got so bad because she wanted me to study acting and I wanted to study Neuroscience. I had to do a double major and graduate in 3 years for us to afford college.
Anyways moving on, my cousin is getting married today.
I had a nice blue and silver dress picked out and was getting my hair done when my mom brought me this GIANT poofy princess dress it was literally a ballgown and the color was the lightest shade of pink like a white with a pink undertone.
Under big lights and a dark ballroom, it’s going to look white.
I cannot wear something that looks like a wedding dress at my COUSIN’s wedding.
I said no I won’t wear that I have my dress and that it’s just disrespectful to wear a bridal dress to another woman’s wedding.
She flipped out and told me I’m a jerk, that she spent all her savings on the dress, that I never do what’s best for me, and threw me out of the house with half my hair not done and no makeup.
I called my dad and he said I am a brat, that I always make my mom angry and I am an ungrateful child who never does what she’s told.
So am I the jerk?”
21. AITJ For Not Wanting My Dad To Have A Relationship With My Child?
“So I (F36) am the child of a messy divorce. When I was little my dad had an affair with my mom’s friend and subsequently left her and the family. He then married the friend and they are still happily together.
This situation really broke my mom and she was a mess until she finally met her second husband.
My dad was not a deadbeat but he didn’t do much more than he had to. He paid child support and I saw him every second weekend as the court ordered, at his new wife’s house.
There was no room or anything for me there, I had to sleep on the floor in my resentful step-sibling’s room until I was a teen and old enough to refuse. My dad never took me for an ice cream, picked me up from school, or met any of my friends.
He was around in the vaguest way and it was always clear that Wife Number Two and her kids were the priority.
Fast forward to adulthood and hubby and I have had our first baby. My mom and stepdad and his parents are thrilled and very involved. Meanwhile, my dad loves babies and loves being a grandpa to his stepchildren’s kids.
Having only met hubby 4-5 times before the baby came he now wants to pop by all the time, he’s calling constantly, and it feels like he’s making all these demands on me.
While it’s sweet I guess that he wants to be a grandpa to my child I just don’t really trust it.
He has been letting me down my entire life and I don’t want my kid getting attached to someone who’s so unreliable. I will freely admit that I am still hurt and angry by his rejection and I actually don’t want him and his wife (cos he aaaaallllwaaayyss brings her) to be in my home so much.
They make me feel super uncomfortable. Plus despite all his performances of love he hasn’t actually bought a gift for the baby, hasn’t offered any financial or other support for us as new parents who just bought a house, like he did for his stepkids.
It feels like it’s all on his terms and about what he wants as usual.
My sister says I should just chill out and be grateful that he cares, and that our baby is lucky to have one more person who loves her.
My mom thinks I should give him a chance, probably because she’s sympathizing with being in love with her new grandchild. My husband will support me either way. I feel railroaded and taken advantage of. I’m not planning to ban my dad or do anything drastic, I just don’t want to facilitate or encourage this relationship when I feel like he might vanish at any moment.
Thinking passive resistance rather than active encouragement.
So AITJ for not trusting my dad and not really wanting him to have a relationship with my child?
EDIT: I might have made this sound worse than it is, I slept on a mattress on the floor in my step-sister’s room, not on the actual floor.
Still felt very unwelcome though!”
20. AITJ For Banning My Friends From My Room After They Insulted My Significant Other?
“I (17M) have a significant other ‘N’ (17F). We’ve been together for about two years now and I cannot explain in words how much I love this girl. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.
She’s my favorite feeling. And while I completely understand the concern that I’m too young to be feeling this way, I just do and I adore it.
‘N’ has helped me through some horrible times. I lost both my parents in 2020.
I was an absolute mess and I know I wasn’t the nicest person but she stuck around with me. She even helped me decorate my new room at my aunt’s place.
Anyways, yesterday I had a few friends over. We aren’t that close they’re more my neighbors (my aunt thinks I should socialize more).
We were watching a movie and one of them started making fun of a framed picture of me and ‘N’ with my family. I was kissing her cheek. Well, they began making fun of the fact that I was standing so close to her.
Then they made fun of her looks, the color of her skin, and the length of her hair. I told them to stop or get out. They said I was whipped. Again, huh? They continued to make fun of her and I kept asking them to stop until it turned into a full-blown argument.
One thing led to another and they ended up throwing the picture around and breaking the frame. I got really angry. I told them to leave and they started mocking me. So I waited till they left the room and just locked it.
They banged on it for a bit but left. Their mom called my aunt and complained and she gave me loads of crap for being a bad host.
Now, some of my actual friends are telling me I overreacted and that it was only a picture.
My aunt’s pretty mad at me. She told my grandma and they want me to apologize and while I may have been dramatic I don’t think I’m in the wrong. I’m just really confused now. AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Adjust My Europe Trip?
“My (F20) grandmother (F75) is in and out of the hospital. She has been declining since I was 12 years old, and ever since she’s been in the hospital for three months.
She was diagnosed with kidney failure and ever since then, she has been on a steady decline in her health. Two years ago, she began dialysis. This helped her a lot but naturally, it also made her more frail. She moved in with my aunt, uncle, and three cousins.
My uncle passed away last year, so now she just lives with my aunt and cousins.
My grandmother got sick at the end of 2020 going into 2021. She had 7 cardiac arrests on Dec 31. She was revived all 7 times. And miraculously, she recovered fully in a few months and gained back her strength.
She is a remarkable woman.
Recently, however, she has been in and out of the hospital with trouble breathing. It is starting to seem like she is in her last few weeks of life. My entire family is saddened by this, of course.
I call her weekly and text her at least three times a week. I saw her in November just after Thanksgiving. I love my grandmother. She means the world to me.
She has had this one wish for a while now: to get all of her grandchildren in one place at the same time.
That includes my three cousins, my sister, my brother, and myself. She wants us to all be closer than we are.
On Saturday, my sister texted me asking if I could go visit her with everyone, all the grandchildren, later this month.
Now, for a little background: my parents live in Europe for job reasons. I am still in college so I like to visit them when I can. Well, we have had a visit planned for 4 months now. I am leaving in 7 days and won’t be back until the last day of the month.
My entire family has known about these plans.
So, the plans to visit her are during my trip to Europe. As can be guessed, it is not simple to drop everything and change up my entire schedule for this. No one asked before deciding on dates and I am simply out of the continent.
My grandmother completely understands this and I have promised to visit her the day after I return.
My siblings, on the other hand, are furious that I won’t be there. I’d like to be there for them as I know this will be hard for them, and I’d like them to be there for me, but when I asked if they could change the plans to just a week and a half later so that I could attend, I was told that would not work.
Which I understand.
My siblings are angry saying I should pay a huge amount to come home early to see her with everyone else.
Now, I have found out that the reason they cannot wait an extra week and a half is that my cousin, who lives with her, is going to Europe when I get back.
So, I am being bullied by my siblings about not changing my Europe trip, meanwhile, this all could have been avoided if they accommodated my schedule rather than the grandchild who lives with her.
Now, I’m being blamed for ruining my grandmother’s dying wish.
AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Commenting On My Mother-In-Law's Birthday Cake?
“I’m 27F married to 28F (yeah we’re lesbians). We’ve known each other for seven years and have been married for 4. We were each other’s first kiss, first love, first everything. I will call my lovely wife Emma from here on out for clarity.
My MIL has always been vocal about her dislike for me and the fact that Emma married a woman. She was initially supportive when Emma came out, but I think she was hoping Emma would suddenly turn straight and decide to marry a man, reverting back to the ‘God-fearing housewife’ state.
When Emma and I first started going out, she would make subtle digs about how I wasn’t good enough for Emma, but the neighbor’s kid Brandon sure was. When MIL realized we were getting serious, she tried to sabotage our relationship by accusing me of having an affair, being after their inheritance (??), being a psychopath because I have chronic social anxiety, and other completely outrageous things.
We were pretty fed up with her at that point and since we both had jobs set up for us, Emma and I moved in together in a city about a hundred miles away from MIL. Since we got a lot closer during that time, I guess I have MIL to thank for accelerating my relationship with my love.
MIL wasn’t invited to our wedding because she threatened to make a scene and bring her own groom for Emma (I highly doubt she would have but we didn’t want to chance it and ruin our day).
So here’s the current situation, and where I may be the jerk: Emma and I went to MIL’s birthday party yesterday (we only visit her once a year for Emma’s sake).
We brought her some nice crystal wine glasses as a present, she was making snide comments about our relationship, but everything was going as expected. MIL’s partner brought out her cake, which was a chocolate cake covered in pastel rainbow flowers.
I commented to Emma (perhaps a bit too loudly), ‘Rainbow cake is lookin’ kinda gay, maybe she’s finally coming around’ and MIL absolutely blew up. She was screaming at us that it was disgraceful that I said she was gay, and that we even wore our wedding rings to her party when we knew that she didn’t like to see them.
She was yelling at Emma that she shouldn’t have brought me, because I’m a disgusting reminder that Emma isn’t right in the head. Emma was fuming and close to tears so we left immediately after.
Emma said she doesn’t blame me at all and no longer wants contact with her mother.
Emma’s cousins, grandparents, and uncle are blowing our phones saying that what I said was wrong and disrespectful and that we are horrible people, especially since MIL has high b***d pressure issues and I was just trying to aggravate her.
I was trying to aggravate her, and I don’t feel bad that I did, but I feel awful that I made MIL say those horrible things to my wife, and that Emma is currently in no-contact with her mother, who she was quite close to before we were married.”
17. AITJ For Getting Pregnant While My Wife's Sister Is Also Pregnant?
“My wife (22F) and I (22F) got married a while back and started talking about having kids fairly early on in our marriage. I have ovarian problems and I’ll need a hysterectomy in the next 2 years. So if I want to have kids myself I have to do it soon.
My SIL dropped a bomb on us about a week before our wedding and said that she was pregnant with her ex’s baby. They had only been together for a week. So we’re already off to a rocky start.
Anyways she and the guy broke up and she’s due at the end of August. She had a lot of doubts and contemplated giving the baby up for adoption. My wife and I explained to her that it wouldn’t be possible seeing as how the baby daddy already knows and would try to fight for custody before she could do that.
And she DOES NOT want him to have custody for serious reasons. And then my wife said that ‘before you put the baby up for adoption we would offer to privately adopt the baby first. If you would be up for that.’ She said this because she knows that she still wants a relationship with her baby.
Out of nowhere, my SIL starts calling us selfish for even offering that. Whatever.
We decide that it’s not gonna slow down our plans. And we start planning our family. I ended up pregnant a few months into trying and we just told our family.
My parents are super excited to be first-time grandparents. But SIL’s first reaction was ‘Wow I didn’t know y’all were THAT selfish’ and went on about how she was going through such a tough time with her pregnancy and that we should have waited and now I’m distracting everyone from her baby.
We explained to her that we couldn’t wait due to medical complications and also that we were just ready. She got even more upset when she found out we had already bought baby clothes and diapers and stuff like that little by little (we wanted to be as prepared as possible) because she hadn’t gotten that stuff yet and we should have thought about her first.
My wife’s parents said that they agree and that we should have done more to help her sister. And that 2 babies in the family is going to be a lot of stress. The difference is SIL is relying on everyone else to help raise the baby while my wife and I have things under control.
I feel like the only reason they’re upset is because we don’t plan on raising her kid. And will be too busy with our family. My SIL can’t keep a job and I feel like she was going to try and lean on us financially to help raise her kid.
They try guilting us by saying ‘Well that’s just what family does for each other’ but I know for a fact that if the roles were reversed they wouldn’t do it for us.”
16. AITJ For Telling My Daughter To Wear Something Appropriate To Court?
“My daughter ‘Amber’ has been challenging since birth.
She’s never displayed any signs of empathy or remorse and is completely uncaring about anything other than her own wants.
We did everything we could when she was growing up. Therapy, specialists, and regular contact with experts in her disorder.
Amber studied well but drifted away from us as soon as she got her first job. She kept in touch but rarely visited.
Amber ran a scheme that targeted several elderly, disabled, and vulnerable people and tricked them into giving away funds.
A few of the victims ended up dying with nothing and Amber got some heavy criminal charges as a result.
Amber was found guilty at trial, and ahead of her sentencing next month the judge denied her bail because she won’t be getting anything other than prison time.
I visited her yesterday to see how she was coping and see if she needed anything.
Amber excitedly told me that some friends/people who used to work for her had brought her clothes to wear to court, she said she planned to go to her sentencing in ‘red bottoms and a tailored suit’.
I was completely shocked.
Obviously, she should wear something smart to court, but a tailored suit and designer shoes like she’s some big businesswoman is sending all the wrong messages and doesn’t exactly suggest she’s humble or remorseful. Amber’s argument was that she’s looking at a long sentence no matter what and so she may as well ‘go out in style’.
I was sickened, and I made clear that if she shows up dressed to the nines, she won’t be getting any support from me when she was in there or when she comes out. I said she’ll never see me again, but she didn’t particularly care.
My husband sees my point, but he says that I know WHO and WHAT our daughter is. He says we all know she isn’t ‘capable’ of remorse and that it shouldn’t be fair to withhold support because of that. I’m well aware of that, but she has to at least ‘try’.
How will it look to the victims if she shows up for sentencing in expensive clothes that she purchased by destroying their lives? The least she can do is look humble and ‘look like’ she knows what she did was wrong.
My husband thinks withholding support is too far. I disagree. She’s my little girl and I will always love her, but her crime was horrific, and if she doesn’t regret it, the very least she can do is try to look like she does to give comfort to the people she hurt.
If she shows up to court in expensive clothes, she will never see or hear from me again.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Being Upset At My Partner For Being Unreliable During My Surgery?
“My (31F) partner (33M) doesn’t have the best relationship with my family.
He feels like they sometimes leave him out, like when taking pictures or stuff like that. When we get together with them, he talks and jokes with them and everything seems fine, but then when we get home, he will say that my sister was taking pictures of everybody and didn’t include him.
That’s just an example.
Anyway, so I had a minor surgery today and my partner and I arrived at the hospital at 7 am. I turned off my phone and told my family to call my partner to know my status.
The hospital was running a little behind. My surgery was supposed to start at 9 but didn’t actually start till about noon. My family knew it was going to last about 1.5 hours. So around 11:30, they started calling my partner to know what was happening.
He didn’t answer. (I found this out later) After I woke up around 3 the hospital called my partner several times from the hospital so he can come to keep me company and he didn’t answer.
Finally, they found him about 30 minutes later and had him come in.
He gave me my phone and my family group chat was flooded with messages about my partner not answering and if anybody knew my status. My sister ended up calling the hospital and they told her everything. She informed my family that everything was ok.
I asked my partner why he didn’t answer the hospital when they called him 4 times, he said he doesn’t answer numbers he doesn’t know. This made me kind of mad. Why would the same number call you multiple times unless it was something important?
I then asked him why he didn’t answer any of my family’s calls since they were worried. He said they always exclude him from stuff and that they were my family, not his, and they could wait till I woke up to talk to them.
This of course made me incredibly sad and I told him if I knew he wasn’t going answer their calls I would have asked somebody else to be with me today. He got really mad and said I didn’t appreciate anything he did, that he had been there all day and for what.”
14. AITJ For Answering A Hypothetical Question?
“I am a 25-year-old autistic woman. I am not the best with people but I’m not completely socially inept either; I just find that my thought processes are a little different than most people’s and it can be difficult to connect.
I’m not an ‘ackshualllly…’ type of person, I’m not even that smart but I’m super detail driven. I love diving into the tiniest parts of things. And it can be hard to gauge how people react – I’ve had many wonderful conversations that have centered on picking apart the technicalities of hypothetical situations.
I’ve also had people tell me it’s pedantic and obnoxious so it just depends on what the other person is into, I guess. I do usually know what not to do this with – personal matters, most current events, anything hurtful, etc. It’s more hypothetical/historical things that interest me.
My roommate had friends over this weekend for a small party. She and I get along well but we don’t spend a lot of time together so I initially wasn’t hanging out with them, I was painting in my room instead.
I went to the kitchen to change my water cup and they were in there discussing a hypothetical. They asked my opinion because the group was divided and I ended up sitting down with them and having a few drinks.
The conversation shifted over different topics but this was exactly my thing and I was having a great time.
Eventually the question ‘What event in history would you get rid of if you could?’ came up. Everyone else in the group chose the really terrible parts of history – American slavery, the holocaust, genocides, etc. I chose a small personal event, a hospitalization when I was a child.
Several people immediately said how selfish that was but my thoughts are that changing any large historical events would alter the lives of everyone today and I didn’t like the idea of me making that choice for everyone so therefore the most logical choice was to only change my own life because I am the only one to consent.
Someone asked me if I would really choose my own relatively minor illness over something like chattel slavery and I said yes because choosing to erase slavery would be poofing millions of people out of existence ‘today’ and I didn’t think that should be my choice to make.
Of course, it would be better to have never happened at all but it’s too big of an event to remove from the timeline without unexisting huge swaths of people.
People got really upset but to me, this was a game of hypotheticals.
It’s not like I was given this opportunity in real life and was holding a summit to figure out what to choose. I think my thought process is logical; it’s not about what I want, it’s about not making choices for other people.
But some of the group is posting stuff about me being ‘pro-slavery’ which I think is a really disingenuous way to frame what I said. My partner fully understands how I think and knows what I am trying to say but thinks maybe it would’ve been better to say what they wanted to hear and keep my thoughts about altering the timeline to myself.”
13. AITJ For Getting Pregnant Shortly After My SIL?
“My sister-in-law (fiancé’s brother’s SO) is about 15 weeks pregnant as of right now. I am currently 9 weeks pregnant. This is my second child but will be my fiancé’s first.
Obviously, they found out first and were very excited and we were very excited for them, but also a little discouraged as my fiancé and I had been trying for almost a year with no luck, but we never told them about our discouragement because it wasn’t their fault we weren’t pregnant yet.
Then about a month ago we found out we were pregnant. We were ecstatic and the first person my fiancé wanted to tell was his brother who’s his best friend. He was excited for us but asked if he could be the one to tell my sister-in-law, and we said of course.
Come to find out she took it awful. She cried and told fiancé’s brother that we should have asked permission to get pregnant while they were pregnant, or at the very least waited until they were well into the second trimester of their pregnancy because ‘what if her baby died but ours didn’t.’ And that she feels like she never gets anything to herself since she joined this family.
We were not trying to steal the excitement from them in any way. We were actually very surprised we got pregnant when we did because we had been going through a rough spot and hadn’t really been trying as much as in the past, so while a planned pregnancy we were still a little shocked ourselves.
But ever since sister-in-law found out she hasn’t spoken to me or my fiancé since. The only reason we know what she’s actually said is that she’s asked my fiancé’s brother to tell my fiancé and won’t actually talk to us herself.
She always gives weird looks and just straight-up cold shoulder. It’s awkward especially since my fiancé’s family is super close and always has family dinners.
We thought it would have blown over by now but there’s no end in sight and it’s really starting to make me wonder if we did something wrong?”
12. AITJ For Yelling At My Brother-In-Law For Giving Me His Co-Worker's Number?
“I (f34) lost my husband 8 weeks ago, he had cancer and it got treated then it came back. It was and still is so devastating, I’m trying to stay collected and welcoming to all the supportive family members who come to offer help despite my constant change in mood due to grief.
My sister is the most supportive one, although her husband would act inappropriately sometimes, especially after he told me after the funeral that now I’m ‘burden-free’ and can ‘live my life’ given I was my husband’s sole carer. I try to let go of those comments thinking he didn’t know better.
He, my sister, and my family came to visit last week. They cooked dinner for me and kept me company for a bit. After dinner, my brother-in-law asked for a minute with me inside the kitchen. He started telling about a coworker of his who’s single then went on to list everything good about him.
I was confused as to why he was telling me all that. He then reached out for his pant pocket and pulled out a piece of paper with his co-worker’s phone number on it telling me to give him a call sometime.
I was floored I couldn’t really tell if he was joking or what but he looked serious and kept insisting I take the number.
I lost it, I just started yelling at him that my husband just died and he was out of his mind to try to hook me up with a coworker of his.
He tried to explain that it wasn’t like that and that he was just offering me something helpful but I didn’t know what he meant. I called him disrespectful and then yelled at him to get out of my house.
My sister and the others ran into the kitchen not knowing what was going on, I told them and then pressured him to leave my house but my sister asked that I calm down but I couldn’t. He left then my sister left quietly.
After I’d calmed down I sat with my family and they said I was right in that what he did was not okay, but I needed to keep in mind that he and my sister helped so much by cooking for me, comforting me, and doing so much for me in these difficult times so, I shouldn’t have reacted like that and could’ve been a little more considerate and graceful.
They said kicking him out was too much and that I should call him later and talk things out so I won’t ruin my relationship with him and possibly my sister.
It’s been days and I haven’t called and my sister hasn’t visited or called which means she is upset with me and now I’m beginning to think they’re most likely hurt because I acted ungrateful after everything they’ve done for me.”
11. AITJ For Taking Sides Over An Argument About Cheese?
“We have a difficult relationship with my mom. I’ve had to set a lot of boundaries in regard to how she treats my wife. I did an experiment and decided not to call my mom and to see how long it would take her to reach out.
It took her 9 months to text me something and 1.9 years to invite me over. I talked to my wife and she agreed that we hadn’t seen my mom in a while and should go.
My mom and my wife fight over food a lot.
My mom at one point got a fraudulent doctor’s note (she was sleeping with him) saying she medically could not eat my wife’s food. My wife doesn’t like my mom’s cooking either and it is a big issue. I do feel my mom is weirdly territorial about cooking.
Anyway, my mom made mac and cheese but it was with yellow cheddar, so my wife thought it came from a Kraft box. My mom explained it was homemade but her husband hates white cheddar so she uses yellow. my wife didn’t believe her that you could buy yellow cheddar cheese and they started bickering.
I wanted to shut it down, so I said you can.
My wife then said that you couldn’t find it in nature, so it is gross. Multiple family members started to verbally abuse my wife about how cheese is manmade and that you can’t find any cheese in nature.
I shut that down right away, but I did tell my wife my mom was right about the cheese and to drop it. I saw her begin to get emotional and took her hand under the table.
When we got home, I told her that I am going back to no contact for a while at least because my mom’s husband told the tow truck driver that he didn’t know who owned my car and tried to get it towed and when I called him out said he ‘didn’t owe me words’.
My wife blew up that I was selfish for going no contact for my own reasons and for humiliating her. She said she thought about it and realized we were right about the cheese, but that I shouldn’t have just called it out because we are a united front.
I apologized and I feel like crap, but at the same time I’m conflicted because it was just a fact that she was objectively wrong about.”
10. AITJ For Blowing Up At My Partner For Lying About Being In An Accident?
“My partner (27) and I (26) have been together for 2 years. He has a good heart and is normally rational but his one issue is that he expects to accompany me on every occasion no matter how big or small.
He even went with me to my ex’s funeral after days of begging.
Now my best friend got married a few days ago, it was very small and only close family and friends were invited. My partner couldn’t come because of the + one rule.
He pitched a hissy fit saying my best friend has no respect for my relationship and was shocked when he learned that I was still going to attend, He told me that if he can’t go then I’m expected to not go as well but that is my best friend and I had to respect her rules.
He gave me an ultimatum – either we go together or I stay home with him. I ended up going cause again I respected my friend’s rules. He was angry with me and kept calling the entire 2-hour drive then stopped. Later I got a text from his friend telling me he (my partner) got into an accident and was taken to the hospital. I freaked out, he gave me the address and I had to leave the wedding and told my friends why.
I was crying the entire drive home and kept calling his friend but got no response. I arrived at the hospital and asked about my partner and they checked and told me he wasn’t there. My anxiety reached 160% as I kept calling his friends one by one.
I just went home and there he was… along with his friend. He saw me and said that he was sorry but this was the only he can get me home after I left him alone.
After the initial shock, I just blew up yelling at him about lying and making me leave my friend’s wedding and having me literally go to the hospital and freaking out because of him.
I kicked his friend out and we got into an argument. He kept talking about how much I love him thus I left which is my own doing not his and he was just trying to see if I really chose my friend’s wedding over him.
He then argued that my friend caused this and I shouldn’t agree with her to exclude him, I said what he did was horrible and called him horrible, and then went to my room. It was awful cause my friends kept calling to check in on him cause they thought he was really at the hospital. He said I overreacted and that I yelled at the wrong person.
AITJ? Did I go too far?
Info: He has a history of mental health issues but got better in the past few months. He also had a recent death in his family which really affected his health generally.”
9. AITJ For Yelling At My Partner For Disturbing My Sleep?
“I am 31 weeks pregnant. Lately, I have been so extremely exhausted. I used to be quite the night owl, along with my partner. But I recently just cannot get enough sleep lately. I have tried exercising for energy, eating a bit more, etc, but nothing is wrong with me physically/nutritionally… I am just exhausted!
Maybe due to my low b***d pressure, LOL.
I have tried to keep up with around-the-house chores, as well as keeping a job albeit lesser hours than I used to and, since my partner doesn’t have a car, driving him to and from work.
He needs to be at work at 6, so I get up around 5:20 to pack him lunch when I can, warm up the car, etc.
My partner got wasted on Sunday evening. I tried to be in bed by 10, but he wanted to watch videos and talk, which I’m glad he loves to talk to me and spend time with me but I was extremely tired at this point.
I closed my eyes for about 30 minutes, at which point he woke me up, asking me to drive him to Circle K to pick up more drinks. It was around 11:30 pm. I reminded him he has work in the morning, and that I would, but after that I needed to get some sleep because I have to get him to work in the morning, me to work in the morning, and if I don’t sleep, I will be grumpy and I already am a bit.
So I drag myself out of bed, drive us to Circle K, and OOPS – It just recently had gotten robbed so we couldn’t even go in. I drive us back and let him talk to me for another couple of minutes before heading back to bed. I sleep for about an hour when I’m woken up by him crawling in bed with me and cuddling with me.
I love cuddles, I do, but at this point, it is almost 2 am, I have to be up at 5ish, and I’m so tired at this point. I just want some sleep. I let him cuddle me, and cuddle him back some, but I really am at my wit’s end when he starts squirming around, watching movie clips on his phone loudly, and trying to talk to me.
I tell him firmly, that I am really, really tired, I need sleep if I am to wake us both up tomorrow and go to work myself.
He gets upset at me. I apologize for being so blunt, but I ask him to understand that I am exhausted and I need sleep to drive.
He kinda ignores me and tells me he doesn’t need me to drive him. I told him that I didn’t mind doing it, I just needed proper rest for tomorrow. He keeps saying he doesn’t need me and I keep trying to explain.
It kept escalating, and I got really emotional and we got into a bit of a yelling match.
I feel like I escalated this, but at the same time, I told him straight up I needed sleep or I was going to act up.
AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Thinking My Sister's Lawsuit Is Unreasonable?
“I love my sister dearly and have grown to really appreciate my relationship with her over the years. However, she married a guy who often talks her into doing things that are unnecessary. He has had her work full times jobs so he can stay home and build a BBQ ‘business’ for years that never took off.
More recently, my sister was returning home from her job when she was involved in a serious auto accident. She was hospitalized for a couple of days for observation and missed a week or so of work but was otherwise ok.
The other driver was at fault and assumed responsibility, and their insurance made a more than generous offer to my sister to help get their life back on track.
However, her husband, my brother-in-law, decided to get an ambulance-chasing lawyer and talked my sister into suing the company that the other driver works for for close to a million dollars.
Keep in mind that there was no substance usage involved, and the other driver had also just finished her shift at her job and was going home as well. My partner and I do not agree with this, nor do we think it’s necessary to sue.
My sister barely graduated high school, so she was likely never going to make a million dollars in her whole life. Additionally, her lawyer told her not to go back to work until the lawsuit is settled. So, they have now lost their home, and much of what they own is being repossessed due to nonpayment.
Their son, my nephew, refuses to come home from college because he is so embarrassed at their situation. My sister wants support for them to continue this lawsuit and my partner and I are not on board.
We think it is cruel to the other driver to not just settle and move on, and it’s unethical to sue the other driver’s employer for something they had no control over.
AITJ for not supporting their frivolous lawsuit?”
7. AITJ For Buying My Daughter An IPad Using The Budget For The Wedding Dresses?
“My fiancée and I are getting married in three months, we both have a kid from a previous relationship, my daughter Spencer (15F) and her daughter Emma (8F), the kids get along just fine, not really close because of their ages, but they’re friendly and good.
My ex and I bought Spencer an iPad last year and she uses it more than she uses her laptop, She draws in it both as a hobby and for school. She has some kind of diary and several other things I don’t know because I’m not an Apple person.
She takes her iPad everywhere to the point my ex has bought her several cases and things to personalize it. Emma likes it because ‘it looks cute’, but both my fiancée and I have told her that she’s not allowed to use it and that we will buy one for her soon (my fiancée said after the wedding since we’re on a budget now, and I agreed because she’s the one calling the shots on Emma).
Well, Emma likes to sit by the stairs and watch videos on my or my fiancée’s phone, five days ago, she took Spencer’s iPad and sat there, she got scared when she heard my fiancée calling her and dropped it.
It broke the screen completely and my daughter was so sad, I took it to see if it could be fixed, but the guy said that it’ll be cheaper to just buy another one.
My fiancée said that we could get it when we get Emma’s, but that wasn’t fair since my daughter shouldn’t have to wait that long for a mistake Emma made.
Then my fiancée said all of her money is currently going to her, her maid of honor, bridesmaids, and mom’s dresses and I said I’ll take the money from there and buy Spencer a new one. I guess she didn’t believe me because she laughed, and the next day I went to buy it and paid for the card we use for the wedding expenses (it has BOTH of our money on it).
Both my fiancée and I receive notifications when we use it and when I got home (I dropped my daughter at my ex’s) she came at me, calling me a jerk and saying she’ll now have to get cheaper dresses.
She’s calling me a jerk because ‘I stole from her’ (I didn’t as I said, it has BOTH of our money and it’s a shared account) and says Spencer could’ve waited a bit.”
6. AITJ For Selling The House To A Rich Buyer?
“I owned a house in the south. Nothing special: a small 3 bed with a modest garden.
The location is great though, semi-rural with excellent links to the capital. A great place to have kids. I listed it on the market, asking for about 400k. We had lots of interest from the offset to the point of having to meet with prospective buyers so we could choose one.
We met this couple. They have 2 small kids and were really excited about the prospect of living here. Their kids have friends nearby, their parents are nearby and ready to babysit and they have friends here. We chose them and had a verbal agreement that they’d buy the house for 10k above asking.
We got the process started with lawyers but we hadn’t reached completion.
Then we receive last minute an offer we literally could not refuse. These people are 2 men from the city looking to escape it for a quiet life. They have money and seem to come from a rich family.
They offer us a boatload of money – cash. Our estate agent told us they wouldn’t normally pass it on given we’d accepted an offer, but this was too good to pass up. We contemplate and we accept.
Immediately after, we personally call the other buyers to explain that we are pulling out.
They are, of course, devastated. We understand. We feel really bad, but we cannot turn this kind of offer away. For us, it’s a life-changing amount. We offer to pay any legal fees they’ve incurred to this point. They hung up on us, which sucked but we understood.
Some of our neighbors start acting strangely. They won’t say hello when they used to. Turns out the new couple has been spreading rumors about us. That we were nasty, horrible, money-hungry people. With the current economic crisis, the bank withdrew its mortgage offer.
Their landlord has already rented out their property and they have to move out. They’re strictly homeless, though they’re moving in with their parents while they figure something out. Of course I feel awful. But I CAN’T turn this offer down, and the new buyers are paying to expedite completion.
I’m not in the habit of explaining myself, so I simply tell people who ask that it’s complicated and it was never our intention to make them homeless (even though they will have a roof). In the local social media group, my husband and I were attacked by an anonymous poster who ranted about how awful we were and money-hungry capitalists ruining a young couple’s prospects.
We weren’t named, but if you knew anything about the situation, you’d know it was about us.
We tried our best to soften the blow. We weren’t to know that the economy would tank and they’d be left stranded, and we have to put our family and our needs first. I still can’t help but question if we are the jerks here.
Edit – This has opened many doors for us. We no longer have to take a mortgage on our new house; we get to live in our dream location for the rest of our years and leave our children (and hopefully grandchildren!) something to set them up for life.
We’ve bought a lovely house nearer to our kids so we can see them more and be active in their lives. We can retire much sooner than we previously could have and have no major debts hanging over our heads.
I felt bad because these people were first-time buyers and were enthusiastic about having a home in their community of choice. Upon reflection, I am content with our decision. They made a premature decision in handing in their notice, and they didn’t do their due diligence on how buying a property works.
They decided to say vicious things about us when we were courteous to them. I have not martyred myself at the expense of financial freedom and happiness for my family for people who turned out to be rather unkind. I am more than okay with that.”
5. AITJ For Hiring A Maid That Looks Like My Celebrity Crush?
“I (M29) have been seeing ‘A’ (f 27) for about a year and everything is going well. She has her flaws, but so do I so it’s all right.
However, one of those ‘flaws’ and really our only big problem is she refuses to do housework. Anything remotely ‘feminine”‘ she will not do it. Cooking, cleaning etc. That leaves me to do it. I come home, prepare dinner and clean the house and sometimes do laundry.
We actually used to live in a house with 5 of my other close friends and coincidentally the people I started my company with. There were maids and we didn’t have any issues, but my partner wanted to move to our own house.
So, about a year ago, we were all doing one of those ‘who is your celebrity crush’ things and I chose Gal Gadot, cause why not. I completely forgot about this btw.
Anyway, about a month ago I got tired of doing all this, so I called one of my friends, the same one who hired the maids and I asked her if she could hire someone for me.
2 days later, we meet our new maid and she looks almost exactly like Gal Gadot. Aside from her hair being longer, they look basically identical. They’re even from the same country. On top of that, this girl is really kind, polite and cooks amazing traditional food, AND she has a military background.
All of this would be a catch and is way better than what I expected but my SO isn’t happy about it. She’s reminding me of that game we played almost a year ago, (which I completely forgot about, by the way) and claims I would definitely go after her.
I called her absurd and now she’s giving me the silent treatment. I’m in a different country for work and she’s not responding to a single message I sent.
So, am I the jerk?”
4. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Transfer To A Different School Just So She Could Dye Her Hair?
“I (M38) have a daughter, Mabel (F15).
I’m Mabel’s sole parent, her mother signed full custody over to me and hasn’t been in the picture since our daughter was 1.
Being a single dad hasn’t been easy but I’m now married to my wife of 2 years, Sarah (F39).
Sarah has two children (F16 and M12) from a previous relationship.
Before we moved in together, we had an agreement that we wouldn’t discipline each other’s biological children to prevent any resentment, considering their ages when we got together.
For the past couple of weeks, Mabel has been begging me to let her dye her hair purple.
I’ve told Mabel no because unnatural hair colors are against her school’s rules. If she comes into school with purple hair, they will keep sending her home until it’s a natural color again (this happened to one of my friend’s children).
This would result in Mabel missing classes and I just don’t want to risk it.
I tried to compromise and told Mabel we could do a temporary wash in wash out purple dye over the Christmas holidays but she is being very impatient.
Mabel has now been asking to change schools, as there’s another school in our area that allows unnatural hair colors. Once again, I told Mabel no.
First of all, it is petty, but Mabel goes to the same secondary school as her stepsiblings.
We would have to leave the house very early to get them all to school on time.
Secondly, the school that Mabel wants to change to has a very, very poor reputation for not teaching the students anything and letting them get away with murder.
We live in a small town and word spreads.
Thirdly, we’ve had no problems with Mabel’s current school. Her grades are decent, the teachers are good at what they do and Mabel has lots of friends there. Mabel has expressed no other reason for changing schools other than wanting to dye her hair.
I tried to explain to Mabel that her education is more important than this, but she insists that she should be able to look how she wants.
Mabel has been complaining about how unfair I’m being to Sarah.
Sarah brought it up to me in private and suggested I let my daughter change schools.
She said autonomy and self-expression are important and that Mabel should get to make some choices for herself.
I shut it down and said that I’m not letting Mabel change schools just so that she can dye her hair. Sarah said I’m being unreasonable and controlling.
AITJ?
ETA: We don’t live in America, schools not allowing unnatural hair colors is a pretty standard rule and the vast majority don’t allow it.”
3. AITJ For Telling My Partner That A Certain Photo In Her Bedroom Was Kinda Weird?
“I (23m) am in the process of moving in with my significant other (22f). I’ve stayed the night at her place a couple of times, and across her bed, she has a shelf with various knickknacks, including a picture of her dad when he was our age, before she was born.
I think it’s creepy, and I don’t like it. Another creep factor to me is that it’s in a heart-shaped frame. I don’t know what purpose she has for a picture of her dad when he was young and not so dad-ish.
Plus, he’s alive and well and she sees him often so I don’t understand any display of family members, and it’s the only family picture she has. I get it if it was in a photo album but it’s a lone picture on a shelf full of unrelated items.
I spoke to her last night and asked her to take it down because I don’t like looking at it. I don’t want to look at a picture of a man I don’t know as soon as I wake up.
Like, I know her dad now, but I didn’t 30 years ago when he was that age. I told her I think it was weird and that if she wants me to move in she has to remove it. She got upset, saying she’s had it since she was a little girl and she’s always been close and loved her dad very much.
I told her I think it was weird she has a picture of her dad at a similar age to her currently in a heart-shaped frame. She started crying and accusing me of making her relationship with her dad weird, and it’s just a picture that she’s never thought much of.
She even compromised to say if I don’t want it to be the first thing I see every morning, she can flip it down before bed. I still said no, that I find it weird even in concept. She made me go home and hasn’t spoken to me since.
AITJ?”
I hope she dumps your sick self and finds a real adult
2. AITJ For Not Serving Beer To A Woman With A Child?
“I work at a restaurant/bar in the U.S. We have a bar section that’s 21+ only and the restaurant portion and outdoor patio are all ages. I mostly work in the bar section but someone called out today so I covered her restaurant shift. A woman in her mid-20s with a baby that looked less than a year old in a stroller came in around 2 today and asked to be seated on the patio.
I seated her, brought her a menu, water, etc. then went back to take her order after a bit. I was automatically put off because she asked what light beers we had on tap. I told her what we had but suggested she take a look at our booze-free beverage list instead.
She said no and that she’d take a glass of Rainier (ewww lol). At that point, I had to tell her that I couldn’t serve her because she was with a child. She looked surprised and asked why and said obviously she wouldn’t give beer to her baby.
I fumbled a bit and told her that legally I couldn’t sell her booze when she was with a minor but she told me she’d been in before with her husband and kid and that she’d never had a problem ordering booze before.
She also said she worked in restaurants in our state in the past and that she was never made aware of that law before so she doubted I was correct. Technically it’s not illegal for an adult to purchase liquor with a child present but, in my opinion, it’s still just a bad idea.
At that point, I was pretty much forced to tell her that I didn’t feel comfortable selling her liquor when she was with her kid and that she could drive home under the influence and injure herself and her kid.
I mean, what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon?
She asked to see the manager so I had to drag my jerk manager out to talk to her. I tried to explain to him my concerns but he brushed me off.
He ended up serving her her beer and a meal as she requested a different server but I was the only one in the restaurant section not on break. After the ‘mom’ left, my manager went off on me telling me he had to comp her drink because of my trashy behavior and that I was lucky she turned down his offer to comp her whole meal.
I tried to explain to him how irresponsible she was being and he nearly yelled ‘What’s wrong with you? I carded her and she was over 21 and had one beer with her meal. It’s not like she was wasted and we had to cut her off or 86 her’.
He then sent me home for the day and told me he was canceling the rest of my shifts until he could talk to the owner and ‘figure out what to do with me’.
I don’t think I did anything wrong, that woman could’ve seriously hurt herself or her child while drinking.
My manager, coworkers, and a few of my friends have told me I was being a jerk and that she’s an adult that can make her own decisions, but morally this situation doesn’t sit right with me. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Pranking A Co-Worker During A Party?
“I (27M) am a general manager at a fast food restaurant – not gonna say which because I don’t want to get in trouble – with my assistant manager ‘Sophie’ (23F).
Sophie and I get along pretty well. We joke and fight about stuff all the time and like to prank each other a lot.
Like prank calls or making the other do fake orders or writing fake surveys about the other. Or splashing soda on the other. We end up working together a lot since we get a bunch of callouts, especially at night and Sophie likes to pick up extra hours.
We’ve both climbed up in the couple of years that we’ve worked there and have a good relationship.
When it’s dead, Sophie likes to write fanfiction on her phone which I sometimes tease her about. A while back I made Sophie read me a line that she was writing and we were making jokes about it.
Last week I suddenly remembered the fanfiction again and decided to try and find it. I remembered the line she had read to me and was able to search for it online using quotation marks.
I’m not gonna say which show it’s from because I don’t want anyone to find it but it was shocking to read.
Pretty much the two characters in it worked at a fast food chain and ended up falling in love. It got pretty graphic in some parts too. The main character was essentially a representation of Sophie and the love interest was basically me.
I mean right down to copying conversations that we’ve had at work. He even had a wife that he was two-timing to be with her. (I’m married but I would never do such a thing.)
Anyway, a few nights ago Sophie and the rest of the team threw a party to celebrate a couple of ‘wins’ and of course, Sophie pranked me by shoving a cupcake in my face.
So I remembered what I read. I thought it would be a good prank so I pulled up the fanfiction on my phone and started to read it. When she realized what I was reading, Sophie’s eyes started to tear up which I was not expecting.
The rest of the team was joking around with her but she ran out of the party.
Now she’s not showing up to her shifts or answering my calls or texts. It’s weird that Sophie’s acting like this since she usually loves pranks and stuff so now I’m wondering if I took it too far.
But I also feel like she shouldn’t have been writing those things about me and her too.
AITJ?”
