People Talk About Their "Too Bad, So Sad" Revenge Stories
38. I Was Just Following Your Direct Order
“Years ago I worked for a company that was planning on moving to a nearby city. This idea was laid out a couple of years ahead of time, was highly confidential and as time passed it was a project moved to the back burner.
A year or so later we had a major corporate planning meeting and one of the projects discussed was this move. At the time nothing was mentioned about keeping it confidential but I understood that we were not to discuss the move with other employees.
Immediately following the planning meeting the boss published a recap with a memo that said ‘be sure to share these strategic initiatives with your subordinates.’ I immediately sat down with my direct report, shared the recap, and discussed each project including the possible move.
I remembered thinking that the move should not be in the discussion but it was too late I already shared his recap paper, so I just told her to keep it quiet. I trusted her.
Several months passed and the boss took her on a day trip to a different facility.
While they were driving she mentioned the move.
He of course was livid and hauled me into his office with HR and other managers and he involved our corporate HR team from the home office. I don’t know what they had planned but I think they intended to terminate me.
I was given a couple of days to respond.
I was probably on ‘double secret probation.’
I needed to find his original memo. A lot of time had passed since these meetings and I was looking for something that was a vague memory, I was not even sure the memo said what I thought it did.
I searched and searched through files and piles of paperwork and eventually, I found the original memo from him with the move listed and his statement to ‘share with your direct reports.’
When I finally found that original memo from him I swear it glowed like the open briefcase in ‘Pulp Fiction.’
I wrote a short memo to Corporate HR and him saying how I could not understand how I can be disciplined for following a direct order ‘in writing’ from him.
I never heard another word from him or anyone else in the company about the incident.
Corporate life is often made up of small victories, that was one of the best.”
37. Adding In Every Fee I Can To The Nasty Customer's Order
“I was working at a copy center and a woman came in with a book she had made. She went on and on about how her friend had loved it so she wanted to make up a bunch of copies of it to give to all of her friends.
It was a tough job and I kind of regretted taking it to begin with because the pages weren’t a standard size of paper, which means they had to be cut to the correct size. I figured, what the heck though because it was a nice change from printing reams of fliers, and what have you.
So I start on this project and she decides she wants color pages mixed in with the regular black and white that comprised the rest of the book, which means I would also have to assemble them by hand. Normally I would do complicated orders for customers because they were polite, but this lady was not at all nice.
Throughout the SEVERAL DAYS it took to complete her order she not only made snide remarks to me but because I was white, figured I was absolutely racist like her and she made comments about coworkers to me which I did not reply to.
I just quietly worked and continued to be professional and polite.
My store had small charges for everything that we were supposed to apply but I very rarely ever used them (10 cents charge for anything we had to do manually, for instance).
I charged her for EVERYTHING. Everything I could apply a dollar value to, I did. Her 10 or so books ended up costing her $400 dollars.
I was so satisfied with the look on her face when I read off the bill.”
36. Key Our Car? We'll Catch You In The Act
“Years ago, my parents owned a small business. My dad did deliveries as part of the business, so he bought a used delivery van.
It was used but in very good shape and it looked new. He used to park it in front of the store when he wasn’t delivering. After a few days, we started noticing scratch marks. We thought it was strange but didn’t think any more of it until a few weeks later when we saw more and more marks on the back and on the side.
During this time, the lady that ran a store next door wasn’t being very friendly. It turned out that she was annoyed that my dad was parking his van in the parking lot, which in her mind, was taking a space for her customers.
We put two and two together and figured out that she was the culprit.
One morning, my dad and I got to the store very early and set up a video camera that was focused on the van. The lady next door parked next to the van, got out, walked towards the van with her key, and then made a motion on the van, put her key back in her bag, and walked to her store.
We ultimately contacted the police who saw the video. They contacted her and apparently, she went ballistic. It was probably all the more embarrassing as her son was on the local police force. She agreed to pay for repairing the scratch marks but wrote a letter stating that she did not do it and was only paying to ‘keep the peace.’
Unfortunately for her, she was the victim of someone keying her car a few weeks later. Apparently, it happened after work one day when she and her husband went bowling. Again, unfortunately for her, this was in the era before cameras were everywhere, so they never found the culprits, but it almost appeared as if someone used a screwdriver alongside her car to scratch and remove all of the paint on one side.
It was a vicious job and someone must have really had it out for her.”
35. I'll Make Sure Your Top Candidate Doesn't Want To Take The Job
“It was about 10 years ago. I’ve been working in the same position for almost 3 years. She was working in another department when, lo and behold, she came in the next day occupying a higher rank position than my boss.
Everyone was puzzled as to how she got the position and/or even that the position existed.
Anyhow, she started picking on me. I would later find out from a colleague that she was jealous of me because she felt overshadowed. Mind you, I am not the flashy type and I dress conservatively although stylishly.
My boss hired me because I present myself well and am a happy person, always smiling. Our workplace was about 85% male and she was used to getting all the attention. My colleagues appreciated me because of my being happy and would often come to me and not her.
Fast forward 2 months. She did everything she could to make my life a living nightmare. I developed a thyroid condition due to stress (I didn’t know at the time) and would wake up in the morning crying and afraid to go to work.
I started looking for another job (and found one) but didn’t tell anyone right away. She was in the process of hiring a student for a part-time job. I was talking with a good friend of mine one day and found out that her little brother was to be hired for that job.
He asked to talk to me and I was honest about everything he asked about the job. The next morning, I heard her bragging about finding a perfect candidate for the job only to be bewildered in the afternoon: my friend’s brother had called and he turned it down.
She wasted a month for nothing. I couldn’t help but smile when I left the office that day. It was the first time I smiled in 3 months.
2 months after I left that job, I get word that she was considered incompetent and abusive and was demoted from her position.
As they say, revenge is a dish best served cold.”
34. Never Park Your Convertible Where You're Not Supposed To...Especially With The Top Down
“Background; Marin county, CA, pretentious jerks!!! We rented a house next to a restaurant, I think it was a staff house prior. The back of the house faced the parking lot.
Our parking spot was a diagonal one that prevented people from looking into the one window that faced the lot or coming in the gate to our yard.
As we had had problems before, we asked if we could put a ‘No Parking, tenants only’ sign up.
Yep, all good. So we do. Problem solved, right? NOPE!!!!
Saturday, home with our 6-month-old son, husband at work. See Mr. Jerk pull into our spot in his new black shiny Mercedes convertible (top-down) with nice tan leather seats, get out with his wife (???), and saunter into the restaurant.
Cue time for hubby to be home. I see him pass, angry as there are no other spots to park other than the street, 3 houses down. (Apparently, it was a big party) It just so happens he had some leftover soda from lunch at Wendy’s, a big one.
He removed the lid and dumped it on the driver’s seat, came inside, still angry, and settled down. Now time to sit and wait.
Maybe 2 hours go by and the show is about to start. Mr. and Mrs (???) Jerk come out, open the door and sit down.
At that point, Jerk starts screaming every obscenity in the book, I’m gonna kill whoever did this, blah, blah, blah. BTW, dressed in a suit. We watched and heard it all! Wish we had popcorn, it was that good! Finally, he started the car, still throwing a fit, and heard from his wife (???), ‘Maybe you shouldn’t have parked here like I pointed out.’ Told her to shut up, put it in reverse, and left.
We are still laughing, it was 1993. I wonder what the detailing and dry cleaning cost? Marin County is known for its arrogant jerks.”
33. Don't Do The Dishes? No Brownies For Anyone
“Normally I’m not a vengeful person and I tend not to hold grudges. My case of revenge wasn’t really very serious however it was funny. I know this is going to make me look like a fool so I hope you all find this funny!
Several years ago my in-laws invited us for dinner and my husband told them we would bring dessert. I decided to make brownies with buttercream frosting.
It was a Sunday and I had made a nice breakfast, bacon, eggs, and pancakes.
My husband offered to do the dishes since I went to such an effort with the meal. I was very happy about this because my husband rarely helped around the house.
I went into the kitchen in the afternoon to make the brownies and realized the dishes hadn’t been done.
I was super angry because my husband said he’d do them. So, I thought screw it, I’ll make the brownies and do all the dishes when I’m done baking.
I was angry so I was slamming stuff around the kitchen.
My husband came in and asked what my problem was. I was more than happy to tell him. We ended up screaming at each other like lunatics and because I wasn’t paying attention the brownies ended up burning.
Now I was angry with myself as well because I’d have to make another pan of brownies.
I pull out a clean mixing bowl and dump in a package of brownie mix. My husband decides now is the time to do the dishes. I tell him he’s going to have to wait until I’m done because there wasn’t enough counter space.
We start arguing again. I end up saying ‘screw it’ I’m not making the brownies. I put the mixing bowl full of brownie mix into the sink. My husband starts screaming at me because I’m being wasteful. We were still arguing and he walked away when I was in mid-sentence.
He stomped up the stairs and I heard him turn on the shower. I was fuming mad. I thought to myself ‘you jerk, try showering with no water pressure!’ I proceeded to turn on both the hot and cold taps in the kitchen sink and went up to laugh at him.
I walked into the bathroom and he laughed at me because he knew what I had done so I flushed the toilet. There was a drizzle of water coming out of the shower which I thought was hilarious.
He got out of the shower and he was yelling at me.
I went downstairs to clean up the kitchen with him following behind me. When we walked into the kitchen the sink was overflowing with water and brownie mix. It was all over the floor.
I was standing there with my mouth hanging open and I burst out laughing.
I mean really what else was I going to do at this point? My husband was also laughing as he told me that when he was going to do the dishes he put the plug in the sink which I obviously didn’t know about.
Yep, I acted like a total nutter, and look at where it got me! Yes, it was funny but it was a pain in the butt to clean up the mess I created with my childishness. I got my ‘just desserts’ lol.”
32. Give Me A Hard Time Because Of How I Dress? I'll File A Complaint
“I was on leave for a day. I planned to sleep till noon but my father called and asked me to cash a check from his account and deposit the amount to his cousin’s account.
He was on a trip to his native village and most likely needed the money for the house he was building there. I went out of bed, took the check from my mother, and went to the bank in a t-shirt and flip-flops.
My father’s salary account was with a nationalized bank and all his post-retirement benefits were deposited into that account. In countries like Bangladesh, Government officials very often consider themselves to be Gods or something of the sort. I knew what kind of service I was going to get.
I walked to the counter and handed the check over to the person sitting there. There was no other customer at that counter at that time. That person looked at the check for a while then looked at me with great suspicion.
I really don’t know the reason, if he wanted to verify the check he could have done it instantly I believe. Then he asked whose check it was.
‘My father’s,’ I replied.
Then another suspicious look, I regretted not getting shaved in the morning.
‘Is your father alive?’
I was not sure if I should get offended. ‘Yes,’ I replied nonetheless.
‘Call your father.’
I was irritated by that time, I myself used to work for a bank at that time.
‘How would you be sure that the person I called is my father?’ I asked gently while making the call.
A simple remark like that made that young man infuriated. My father received the call and I stretched my hand to give the phone to him but he pushed my hand away and said: ‘your father needs to submit a written withdrawal request before cashing a check at least a day early.’
I had been a bank employee for at least 4 years then and never heard of any such rule. ‘Show me the circular,’ I raised my voice.
He said he was not bound to show me anything and he had the liberty not to accept the check.
I asked for a return slip (a piece of signed paper that mentions why the check has been bounced), I was denied once again. I could have gone to the manager but things could have gone even worse. I left, humiliated and worried, the amount was not big but certainly, my father was in need of that.
Having no other option, I withdrew the amount from my own account and sent it to my father.
However, that young me decided not to give up. I called the complaint cell of the central bank. They suggested sending an e-mail mentioning everything in detail.
I did that then made another complaint at that bank’s complaint cell. I was not very hopeful because as I said, Government institutions very often are above the law here. To my surprise, I received a call from the head office of the bank the next morning.
I was told to visit the branch again and meet the manager directly. A minute later the manager called himself to apologize and asked me to meet him at his office. So, I went there clean shaved, and with my business suit on.
The manager made that officer apologize and cash the check. He then requested me to withdraw the complaint from the central bank that I denied as there certainly were other people receiving the same poor service from his branch.
I really don’t know if they have improved their service quality lately but happy that I don’t have to maintain my account with them.”
31. Fire Me So You Can Hire Your Stepson? I'll Report Your Use Of Pirated Software
“I was fired from a small company that used a lot of pirated software (Microsoft products everywhere). The firing wasn’t because of my performance, but because the owner wanted to make room for his stepson to come into the job I held.
It was during the holidays and he wouldn’t even let me stay until after Christmas (two weeks away). I was called into the office, told I was being let go, and told to get my things and leave by the end of the day.
I went back to my office and, from there, filed a report with the Business Software Alliance to report all of the pirated software they used. I then packed my stuff, told my friends goodbye, and left the office.
Later, I heard that the BSA came in and hit them hard.
They had over $350,000 worth of unlicensed software for which they had to pay and, I believe they might have gotten hit with a fine on top of that. Since this was a very small company (12 employees), it hurt them pretty bad and they had to lay off two people.
I feel conflicted about doing this and here’s why: I worked at the company for a little over 2 years and knew they used pirated software the entire time. I even used pirated software to do my job with the full understanding that it wasn’t licensed. It never bothered me enough to report it until I was fired. I have to accept that, while I told myself it did at the time, this had nothing to do with morals or ethics on my part but was pure revenge.
I’m a little ashamed of that.”
30. You Want To Take My Car? I'll Call In A Tip And Make You Take The Wrong One
“I had a car repossessed about 15 years ago because of a divorce.
I was not really upset with the repossession, because I didn’t pay for the car (another story for another question LOL). But it just so happened that the repo guy shows up at my house and the car was not there.
He proceeds to tell me what a piece of trash I am and calls me a lot of nasty names. I had a broken foot at the time, so he was safe saying that stuff to me from a distance.
I told him that he would NEVER get the car because he was being such a jerk to me. I guess this was a challenge to him because he harassed me night and day over it. He went to my neighbor’s house (which happened to be my brother) badmouthing me, went to other neighbors, called my job, called people with the last name Casey randomly asking about the car.
So now I am angry. Really angry, but disabled. I knew there was nothing I could really do to the guy without landing my butt in jail, so I had to come up with a plan. The car he was trying to repo was a 2004 cavalier.
It was custom painted a canary yellow from the factory. There were other deeper yellow cavaliers around my community, but mine was different from all the rest because it was a unique yellow. Well, different from almost all the rest I should say.
About a mile and a half down the road from where I live, a girl in her early twenties had bought a 2004 canary yellow cavalier IDENTICAL to mine! Her driveway was a circle that went around her house, and she always parked behind her house and went into her back door.
Knowing this, I called the tow company up and said that I was a neighbor of Dale Casey’s and I was tired of the tow truck running up and down our road at all hours and I know where the car is.
I explained that it is about a mile and a half down the road, hidden behind a friend’s house. The lady that took the call was ecstatic, sounded like she just won the lottery.
Apparently, the guy went in the middle of the night and ‘hooked and booked’ the other canary yellow cavalier.
I called a few days later and asked to talk to the driver, and was told he no longer worked there. I am guessing he spent a few nights in the local pokey.
As a side note, another towing company started showing up leaving notes on my door and stopping and talking to the neighbors.
I was planning all along on handing the keys over, but these guys all must act like jerks. I finally went to the barn and uncovered the car and parked it in a field out in the open where it could easily be seen from the road.
The driveway to the field had big trees on either side that a tow truck couldn’t squeeze through. I took the wheels off the car and broke the lugs off so you couldn’t put a wheel back on, then set it flat on the ground.
When the tow company came by on a Saturday morning and found it, it took them nearly 14 hours to find the equipment to move it with.”
29. Keep Acting Selfish And I'll Ruin Your Fancy Night Out
“Back in the early ’70s, when I was a college freshman at a small college in N. Wisconsin, there were 2 polar opposites from New Jersey who got stuck being roommates. John was a gentle giant, very caring and quiet, his goal in life was to make things better.
Joe was a little greasy-haired jerk with a huge chip on his shoulder and only cared about his own happiness.
One Saturday at the ski hill, John was stuck on the chair lift. As he enjoyed the view, he saw Joe going up the tow rope on the bunny hill.
Suddenly, the little girl in front of Joe fell down and Joe started screaming, ‘Get outta my way!’ And rather than loosen his grip on the rope crashed into the 8-year-old and started yelling and calling her stupid and the such.
John was not amused.
The next Sat. night, Joe was invited to a local function by a sweet young lady (who somehow saw something good in the jerk). John moved into action. As Joe went to take his shower, John had recruits start sequence flushing every toilet in the building.
I ran into the shower area carrying the purse of one of the hottest upper-class chicks, with her right behind me. As agreed she turned to look at Joe, point at him, and break out in laughter. Meanwhile, John and the rest of the crew covered the end of his Old Spice Stick deodorant with ‘Atomic Balm’ and back drafted a little bit of ‘Head and Shoulders’ creme shampoo into his tube of ‘Crest’ toothpaste (back then they looked exactly the same).
Also, the threads of the top button on his suit coat were shredded to the point that when he tried to button it the button fell off.
Joe finished his shower, sticked his pits, and brushed his teeth, throwing away the toothpaste tube because he thought it must have turned. So he is jumping around talking about how he wishes he could calm down, he’s so nervous his pits are hot.
When he puts his jacket on and the button falls off he just shrugs it off and goes out to his car, which does not have a distributor rotor at this time, and grinds the battery dead. By the time the cab arrives, he is all red-faced, jumping up and down, flapping his arms. He returned an hour later, wouldn’t talk to anyone, and cried himself to sleep.
The next day John confessed to Joe what we had done and why. Joe actually accepted it and began to change. He turned out to be a decent guy by the start of sophomore year.”
28. Won't Take Out The Kitty Litter? Live In It
“I need to preface this. I am not spiteful… I’m really not. These old roommates of mine, well they were responsible for a lot of damage. For some reason, every time there were dirty dishes in the kitchen, they all assumed they were mine.
I guess that may be part of being the only man among three girls. So we made this deal, that I would take out the trash in exchange for them washing my dishes (which I assumed, since I generally washed all of my dishes, not to mention most of theirs, would at least result in them not complaining at me about their own dirty dishes).
I was wrong. On top of that, every weekend, there would be 25-50ish people at my house (as one of the girls worked at a bar and insisted on throwing giant parties). So there were always TONS of trash.
Not to mention between their partners and the random dudes they were all sleeping with, any given night there were 2-5 random dudes in and out of my house… Making even more of a mess.
Anyway, I digress, the last few months we lived together, they started just leaving all these bags full of used kitty litter by the front door leading out of the apartment.
Apparently, because they wanted me to take them out with the trash, and for a long time I did. But they just kept complaining to me about never taking the trash out enough, (Seriously, there was just so much of it; I had to start taking it multiple times a day) and how they were always doing my dishes (which in reality the opposite was true).
So one day I packed up all my stuff when nobody was paying attention and moved out. But at that point, I just really needed petty revenge for the first time in my life. So I started by taking all of their toothbrushes and scrubbing the toilet with them.
Then, I went to the bags and bags and bags of kitty litter. Took out my knife and poked a tiny hole in the bottom of every bag but one. I figured when and if those jerks ever got around to taking it out, they would enjoy a floor covered in that stinky trash.”
27. I Tried To Do Something Nice For My Awful Coworker And It Blew Up In Her Face
“I had this arrogant coworker who was always trying to take credit for my ideas and complain about being overloaded so that I would have to shoulder a good chunk of her share of our workload.
She also realized that colleagues seemed to favor my opinion on things so she would often stamp my brand on wonky things she advised people to do, often in front of me, putting me in the position where I constantly had to say, ‘that is not what I think, I actually think ____.’
So this loudmouth also complained whenever our colleagues would pass around a birthday card or a cake for someone’s birthday because her birthday happened to be January 1, when every job she ever had usually had people enjoying paid time off for New Year’s Day.
So she never had a work celebration for her birthday in her entire professional life.
So after hearing this complaint from her for the bazillionth time when I received a card and cake for my birthday in October, I decided to try to be gracious and secretly plan a surprise birthday card and cake for her on December 1 before anyone started taking off for the winter holidays.
Coworkers thought it would be really fun to blow her away with the birthday celebration she never had. Probably 15 colleagues chipped in for me to go get her a cake, a gift card, and decorations for her desk.
So, on November 30 after she left the office, I decorated her desk with a combination of New Year’s party and birthday party decorations mixing the theme to create the connection between the day we were celebrating and her actual birthday.
And I had two cakes custom decorated by the bakery with ‘Happy Birthday, Jane!’ One was chocolate, the other white because I didn’t know what she preferred and people had given me enough funds to do both.
So December 1 came and I brought in the cakes and stuck them in the refrigerator to wait for her to come into work to be surprised, but she never came.
Everyone was wondering what happened that she didn’t come into the office. She had made up some excuse – had to wait on the plumber or the cable guy or whatever.
Ok, so I had to take the cakes home because the janitor empties our fridge every night, and so I brought them back on December 2, but she still didn’t come in.
This time she claimed she was sick, but given her demonstrated work ethic, it was a little suspect.
So I text messaged her and said, ‘Are you going to make it in today? We’ve been trying to surprise you with a cake for your birthday you never get to celebrate and so everyone pitched in for a cake and we’ve been trying to give it to you since yesterday.’ She then got upset because my efforts to surprise her had resulted in broadcasting to the entire department that she had taken off two days in a row that weren’t really legitimately excused. She just didn’t feel like coming into the office.
So she sent me an angry text message hating on me for exposing her for not coming in and saying ‘Let them eat cake. I don’t care!’
So I spread the word that anyone who wanted to enjoy the cake could come have a slice and that Jane had given her blessing for them to enjoy it while she was unable to come into work.
Everyone enjoyed the cake, as people are wont to do.
But our boss felt bad for Jane and decided to buy another cake and bring it in on December 3 so Jane could hopefully, finally, actually have some of her own birthday cake.
But Jane claimed she needed to stay home sick for another day.
By the 4th when our boss brought the third cake back for the second time, Jane was pretty much out of plausible excuses and had to come in.
All in all, we had tried with three cakes over four days to celebrate her birthday with her, and she never got to hear the end of her never-ending birthday celebration.”
26. Won't Pay Attention To The Cashier? You Won't Leave With Your Full Meal
“The best revenge I ever did was on a cell phone jerk.
I stopped at a Chipotle for lunch. Long line. The guy in front of me pulled out a phone, called someone, and started yammering away about nothing.
When he got to the counter, he continued his conversation and basically treated the people trying to find out what he wanted to order as an inconvenience.
He held up progress as he ordered two different items, all the while devoting most of his attention to his phone conversation.
When we reached the end of the prep line, my food was done while he was still mumbling into his phone and acting annoyed while they asked him what he wanted. He then ignored the cashier while chatting away.
She rang up one of his two items and told him the price. Concentrating on his phone, he handed her a twenty without even looking at her.
I started to say something, but then I had a better idea.
He took his change and left, and I paid for his second meal and my own.
As I walked to my car with way too much Chipotle food, I got to see him get back out of his car, still on the phone, and head back inside to ask where the rest of his food was.”
25. His Own Laziness Brought Him Down
“I had a very lazy boss called Chad (yes, really, before it became a term used in some parts of the world to describe a male Karen – except he wasn’t a Chad, he was just lazy).
A bit of history first.
We both started out as field engineers – basically sales reps with a mechanical brain to assess the customer’s needs properly, and provide the right solution. I had worked for the company for 3 years and had a solid track record of double-digit growth.
One key account had doubled each year I’d been there. I was far from a salesman – my growth came from providing the right solutions, without added nonsense, which led to a reputation that brought me much more work.
He’d been there less than a year, and his area had declined by some 20%. In sales meetings, he tried to claim I was taking his work. Our boss knew this wasn’t true, as his region was 200km north of the office, and I stayed in my region – a large industrial city 100km south of the office.
That boss moved on. We both put our hands up for the role. He kissed butt and got it. I was told it was because I was only 25, that I was too young to be the state manager. I was not happy.
My hard work had been overlooked.
He sent me out to a ‘new account’ and I spent all day there assessing everything. I wrote up a report, compiled a parts list, and sent it over to costings to come up with a project price for the client.
After 3 weeks I hadn’t heard anything. I called the cost analyst, and he told me it was done the same day and given to Chad. I called the client, and they told me Chad already presented it to them nearly 2 weeks ago, in front of our GM, and some of their senior management team.
They were going ahead with it.
I kept cool and let it slide. When the order came in, Chad emailed a copy of the order, and a copy of my report, to all the other state managers to brag about how good he was, and how bad they all were because nobody had yet landed a job over $500K like this.
I found out about this when another state manager called me to tell me. I asked him why he called me when Chad had taken the credit for the order. He told me he read the report right to the end.
What he took notice of, was that my report had a page I always included at the back, noting the day I completed my assessment, any tools I’d used (IR thermometer, tachometer, clamp meter, etc – and the last calibration date of each tool).
It also listed who took all the readings, and who compiled the report – of course, all me.
Seems Chad overlooked this in his haste to claim it, and he couldn’t take back that email now. That state manager asked the GM if he’d read the report fully.
The GM came to me red-faced and apologized for not thanking me earlier.
I left that company not long after that (there were other issues, and a better opportunity). Some 6–12 months later I was headhunted for a state manager role at that company.
I laughed and asked the recruiter what happened to the previous state manager. He told me the guy was useless and got demoted. I told him thanks but no thanks. As I had kept in touch with the other state manager who alerted me, I called him to share the news about that recruitment call.
We had a good laugh – he told me my state went from the best to worst in just 5 months – the amount of time from when I left, to the end of the financial year. Chad had been put on notice to turn it around but failed, and was demoted back to his old role.
He still hadn’t filled my old role. I was glad I didn’t entertain that recruiter – it would have been a real headache to build it back up, and deal with lazy Chad as a subordinate too.
Had he taken the time to read ALL of my report, including the last page, he would have gotten away with it, as it would have been my word against his.
But it was only a matter of time anyway, as his own laziness brought him down without any help from others.
I also ran into that GM a few years later at a trade show. He admitted he made a big mistake not giving me that role, and in hindsight, he wished he could have kept me with the company.
Chad did a lot of damage to our state, which looked bad for the GM, as head office was in the same state. They had a terrible time trying to get rid of him.”
24. Not So Subtly Telling My Teacher That She Plays Favorites
“I will share a story on how I got revenge on a just plain crabby and mean teacher in three separate ways.
A quick example of just how crabby and mean she (her name was Mrs. Peterson) was? A student came into our classroom one day and tried to give her a cupcake because it was his birthday. A good teacher would have told the child happy birthday and taken a cupcake, or if they didn’t want the cupcake said ‘Thanks anyway, but I’m on a diet’ or whatever.
Mrs. Peterson? Not so much.
She told the kid, ‘How dare you interrupt my teaching!’
Seriously. Not our learning, but my teaching.
Mrs. Peterson had a favorite student, but no one could really prove that she did and that this student, in particular, was getting special treatment.
We had a system in which you were awarded points if you were good, and points were taken away if you were bad. Pretty simple, right? Except for the flaw: the teacher could simply ignore certain well-behaving students and reward the students she liked. Unfair, but what could young me do about it?
Several things, actually: it didn’t help the unfairness, but it certainly was revenge. We, that year, were writing good poems/bad poems. An example, in case you don’t know what they are:
I like dogs, they’re cuddly.
But they’re wet and smell funny.
Dogs are cute.
But they cost too much.
I decided to write my poem on her. Her favorite student was Rose. Note: there was one kid in the class, a friend of mine.
His name was Ian. I was his only friend: Ian was talkative and everyone but me thought he was just annoying. He was nice, though, so I gave him a chance and we became friends. Mrs. Peterson detested him. She was unfair to him many times over.
So I write about that in my poem. It went something like this:
Mrs. Peterson is cheerful with Rose
While she screams at Ian.
Mrs. Peterson takes us on field trips
But she is always late for them.
It amused me a lot.
That’s what I turned in, with her name on it and all.
Then, a day or so later, I saw this Post-it note on her desk: Talk to (my name) about good poem/bad poem.
She gave me a talk about how she was considering not doing good poems/bad poems (after reading mine, I assumed) because they could be used to hurt others, and how this was not the intention.
Under her instruction, I changed the first two lines.
The second way I got revenge: this was a year after, and I was writing an autobiography. In the instructions, it stated we (the students) were to write about a few things – traits, I should say – about themselves.
Mine?
I proved that Mrs. Peterson had a favorite by writing how she called on Rose eight times during one lesson and everyone else only once (or zero times) even though Rose had the answer wrong quite a few times.
I had the correct answer, but of course, I was not called upon, being second to Rose (or possibly third, or fourth… You know what, I don’t think she liked me anyway.)
I phrased it as a trait – that I noticed things and liked to do detective work.
The third and final way I got revenge was even a year after that. I was supposed to be writing a story on what I would do if none of the teachers were there for school. I wrote about how the teachers all had to go to a meeting and the kids were left alone in the classrooms. Then, the kids took out their musical instruments and played (random notes, in case you’re wondering.)
Mrs. Peterson, in the story, had to calm herself before doing something drastic, basically depicting her as a weak-minded bull that had seen red.
The story ended with a students v. teachers dodgeball fight. It started with a student throwing a ball at a teacher.
Which teacher? Mrs. Peterson.”
23. Fire Me For Asking For A Raise? Have Fun Making Me Food That I'll Never Pick Up
“I was a GM at a franchise of a popular US wing restaurant. I became AM because the old one got promoted to GM because the GM was fired. I become GM because that GM then in turn got fired for some nonsense reason (keeping it vague to stay anonymous but I promise it’s not interesting.)
Inevitably as soon as I wanted more pay, I got canned and they promoted my AM. It was a vicious cycle with a huge turnover in order to save a few bucks every 6 months. Anyway, if you know the industry you’ll know that the super bowl is the biggest chicken wing day of the year.
Every year we went through mass planning to spread out our orders, only to have online orders start pouring in because they didn’t disable the system. The online orders print 15 minutes before the requested pick-up time, so they were always unexpected and a pain in the butt during a rush.
I’m sure you can see where this is going, but I’ll continue. I made 35 online orders for the day of the super bowl ranging from $30 to $225 dollars. Anything over that had to be paid for ahead of time. These were all loaded with non-wing orders with tons of customization (add pickles, no lettuce, mixed sauces).
The last one was put under the name ScrewWithYourWorkers AndYoullGetScrewed. I have no idea what ended up happening, but we were always sooo busy (like line out the door busy) during SB that I have no doubt all these orders got made.
The best part was it was all bizarre stuff over the course of the busiest 3 hours, so it definitely got made, and definitely didn’t get picked up, and definitely couldn’t be resold. In total, I ordered about $4000 worth of food.
Last year they did 20k in sales on the SB, so about 20% of the orders this year were me.
The next day on social media there was a ‘Now Hiring All Positions’ post made for the first time that I have ever seen.
I have no idea what happened, but I like to think that all the workers just walked out.”
22. Be Rude To My Friend? I'll Give You A Bad Haircut
“Even better than getting revenge myself, a friend did it on my behalf and then told me about it afterward!
During breaks in high school and college, I worked for a market research company as a ‘mall intercept interviewer.’ This was back in the late-80s & early-90s.
Each mall usually had one of these facilities, including a flock of interviewers who would find people in the hallways to ask questions about products & services…often giving away free samples for their opinions. I found the job fascinating and it actually led to my career in marketing.
One day, when asking a woman if she had a moment, she just went off: ‘Why are you bothering me?! What a nuisance! Can’t I just shop in peace?! You should just leave people alone!’
We were located at the main entrance, so plenty of people witnessed her berating teenage me.
Although I’d gotten used to polite rejection, things like that still stung.
Then…the woman headed into the hair salon next door.
About 30 minutes later, my stylist friend Kelly came running out. ‘Greg, Greg…you won’t believe what I just did!’
‘Huh?’ I responded.
Kelly continued, ‘I saw that woman be so mean to you, then she came in for a haircut. Luckily, it was my turn. I was very nice to her, though at the end, I kept one strand of hair really long, sprayed it with hairspray, and tucked it up so she won’t find it until she washes her hair next.’ She was so proud of herself!
We laughed and laughed and laughed.
Now you might be asking, ‘But what about her manager?’
Us mall employees tended to stick together. The salon manager was also a friend, who routinely got tons of free products leftover from surveys on the regular.
And yes, the woman DID return to complain. The manager called Kelly to the front and explained that Kelly was new (she wasn’t) and must have made an innocent mistake. They both were very sorry and the cost of the cut was refunded.
Still, the woman was furious, though there wasn’t anything more she could do. Plus, she took all that time to return to the mall/salon, when Kelly said she probably could have just snipped off the strand herself.
Moral of the story?
Sometimes revenge is a dish best served by a friend.”
21. Make Everyone Stop Talking To Me? I'll Make Your Side Of The Room Smell Like Rotten Eggs
“I was always picked on growing up and had narcissistic parents so I just succumbed to never standing up for myself against harassment and always doing favors for everyone. Freshman year of college my roommate was a huge narcissist as well but I didn’t realize until after I always did what she asked. After she made everyone in our friend group and all our roommates stop talking to me and (knowing I had mental issues) sent me into multiple mental breakdowns, I decided enough was enough and I wouldn’t care about her anymore.
I was going out and making so many new friends who saw through my roommate’s nonsense and I felt validated.
Then I saw some story on social media about a woman whose husband two-timed her and was kicking her out of their home so she put shrimp in the curtain rods.
I played with that idea and hid a blended egg mixture on her side of our room and in my other roommates’ room. Weeks went by and I was disappointed because I couldn’t smell anything on my side of the room but one day all 3 of them come in and one girl yells ‘GOD WHAT IS THIS DISGUSTING SMELL I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!’ Turns out I used just enough so that it drove them crazy but I couldn’t smell anything from my bed. I never told them and then cleaned it up after they moved out.”
20. Never Replace The Toilet Paper? I'll Leave You Stranded On The Toilet
“A couple of years ago I was living with my sister who is 5 years younger than me.
She was a typical lazy teenager (as many of us have been at some point), but she would purposely avoid doing little things that I asked her to and blatantly lie, saying it wasn’t her.
One particular thing that really annoyed me was refilling the toilet paper.
I have a system where I put two spare rolls of TP on the window sill. When the second (last) spare roll gets put on the TP holder, you go and get two more spare ones from the laundry and put them on the sill, so that they’re there if somebody uses the last of the roll on the holder and needs more (I am mildly obsessive-compulsive about this and many other things, and no I’m not just one of those self-diagnosed people that say ‘LOL I’m so OCD because I eat Oreos in a weird way every time’).
She would constantly leave one roll in the toilet with no spares on the sill, and if I had been out for a couple of days, I would often come back to find only 10 or so sheets left on the roll.
So I forced myself to stop putting spares on the sill and took to keeping a roll in my computer room. I would take it with me whenever I had to go, and brought it back with me when I was done.
At least 5 times, she went in there and had sat down and started her business before she realized that there was no toilet paper in there, and would have to call out and wait for me to get a roll for her.
One time after an argument I made her wait a good 15 minutes pretending I couldn’t hear her.
She still doesn’t put new rolls in there when she uses the last spare while visiting. She’s 20 now.”
19. Don't You Have Anything Better To Do Than Eavesdropping On Meetings?
“I was in about my 3rd year of this retail gig at an upscale sporting goods store. We had our regional manager along with the VP of the whole company in our building at about 7 am sitting in a circle with our small staff/managers.
This meeting was about getting ready for the holidays and just overall to see how the store was doing (my whole staff and bosses were super nice 24/7).
So we are having this meeting about 2 hours before the store even opens and some guy starts pulling on the handle to the door.
Our store manager goes over and unlocks it and peeks his head out to let him know we open at 9. And immediately we can see that whole situation go south, arguing and yelling occurs. At that point, the VP of this 151-year-old company worth billions tells my manager to let him in and walk around while we continue our meeting.
So instead of doing that this rude 50-year-old dude walks over to our circle and goes, ‘Oh what’s going on here, you guys finally learning how to run this store correctly?’ I turned beet red and put my head down and everyone else kind of gasped. To preface this, he was upset because a week ago he was denied entry to the store 20 minutes after we were closed. He ‘Saw people in the store’ who were actually OUR EMPLOYEES so he urged that it was ok he was allowed in the store.
After making his rude comment he pointed directly at our store manager saying things like, how is he a manager, he needs to be fired. At this point it was like a Southpark episode just so surreal this was happening in front of the VP and regional manager I cringed harder than I ever have before.
Finally, the Vice President tells him directly in his face how sad of a human being he is and how much time of ours he wasted in that situation. Other things were said but hearing him say that to this customer not really caring about the outcome gave me the most satisfaction I’ve ever had to this day.”
18. Think You Can Cry For Forgiveness After All You've Done? I'll Laugh In Your Face
“So, a little back story: My ex and I were engaged for about three years, and I loved her (and still do) with all of my heart. Eventually, I found out she was sleeping with other people… including my friends… all of them…
I was betrayed by my friends and my fiancee at the same time. I was stationed away from home so I didn’t have any friends or family to talk to (not in person, anyway), and it was right before Christmas.
So I spent the holiday, in my house, alone.
Well, fast forward a few years: I’m in college, about to get another degree (for chemical engineering and I already have my PharmD), have my own place, and am doing pretty well for myself.
Her parents always seemed to love me, so they keep in touch… and they tell me all about her for some reason. Maybe they want me to take pity on her. Maybe they want me to feel better about the situation.
I don’t know.
But, what I do know is that she’s got two kids, both from different fathers… she’s unmarried… she’s barely making it financially… and she’s generally having a hard time with things.
So, that’s the back story…
A couple of months ago she called me out of the blue.
At first, I didn’t know it was her since I didn’t keep her number. She immediately started apologizing to me for how she treated me and what a terrible person she was to me. I had heard this song several times, so it didn’t take me long to realize who it was.
She was crying and going on and on about how I deserved better and whatnot… she went on for a good ten minutes…
Then there was a pause… a long one. She then asked, ‘Well, aren’t you going to say anything?’
I knew what she wanted: she wanted me to forgive her. I just laughed maniacally as I ended the call. I’m sure she heard the laugh, and I’m fine with that. The torture she put me through when we broke up, and all the nonsense I went through afterward, not to mention how she sabotaged a couple of my future relationships, I couldn’t care less what she thought or how she felt.”
17. I Traumatized The Librarian With A Fake Jar Of Mayo
“In high school, we had this librarian who all my friends seemed to love. He was young and geeky, but sassy as anything and had no problems tearing into the ‘popular’ kids who only went to the library to cut class.
He was the tennis coach, the Magic Club sponsor, and filmed all the school’s events. Naturally, all us younger geeks looked up to him-a fellow nerd who had risen above and now got to scream at and give detentions to the people we most disliked. Great teenager mentality.
This librarian (we’ll call him Mr. A) was on very good terms with all of my closest friends, but for some reason, he hated my guts. As in, would glare at me openly from across the room and snap something sarcastic or just downright mean anytime I asked a question.
I was quiet, shy, a blatant nerd. I’d never so much as turned in a book past its due date. So his animosity shocked me. Naturally, being a spiteful teenager, I grew to hate him as much as he did me.
He was like my very own arch-nemesis. Maybe it was because I was on the swim team, and we’d surpassed the tennis team as the school’s most successful/winning sport. Maybe he just really hated my emo haircut. But he always made sure to sneer in my direction whenever I dared enter his domain.
Anyways, in the library, there was this one, odd rule that Mr. A had put into place. No mayonnaise. You could bring your lunch, your breakfast, heck – a full four-course meal. But no mayonnaise. If it was visible on a sandwich or anything of the like, he would demand you throw it out.
By my senior year, I’d discovered via the ever-reliable high school g*******e that his hatred of the condiment stemmed from a bet in college, where he had been dared to eat an entire jar of mayo. Apparently, he’d succeeded. Only to promptly vomit it up everywhere and swear off mayonnaise for the rest of his existence.
At first, it just made me laugh, but then I got an idea. A wonderful, awful, very petty idea.
I drove to the store and bought the biggest jar of mayonnaise I could find. I dumped it, scrubbed the insides, and then painstakingly refilled it with vanilla pudding – you know, the super gooey, oozy kind.
The kind that comes in single snack packs that don’t even have to be refrigerated. It wasn’t the best tasting goop, but it was tolerable enough and had the exact color and consistency of mayonnaise.
The next day, I plopped my smug butt down at the library table that was directly in front of his desk.
I pulled out the mayo jar and a big ol’ soup spoon, stared Mr. A dead in the eye, and proceeded to eat straight from it. Massive, oozing, spoonfuls that would probably make even non-mayo-phobes gag. His face went white, then red. I could easily make out the veins popping in his temples, could see his throat working to swallow what was most certainly a massive bought of nausea.
It took a sold thirty seconds for him to break free from his horrified trance to shriek at the top of his lungs, ‘GET OUT! GET OUT!’
So I took my jug and trudged out of there as slow as a snail on vacation, dripping ‘mayonnaise’ as I went and making as many God-awful slurping noises as I could.
All the while poor Mr. A looked just about ready to faint. Or at the very least lose his breakfast.
He later noticeably cut out my solo from the recording of our orchestra’s spring concert. But man was it worth it.”
16. "Sorry Bro, I Overslept"
“I married my now wife about 2 years ago. The person I asked to be my best man guaranteed he would be there. It was a small wedding, with less than 10 people. Come 10 minutes before the ceremony was scheduled to start, he had still not shown.
I text him asking when he would be there. No response. We postpone the ceremony for about an hour waiting for him. Still nothing. We decide to proceed without him.
Later in the day, he texted me simply ‘Sorry bro I overslept.’
Fast forward to a few months ago, he was graduating from college with ROTC and was being commissioned. For those that don’t know, it’s kind of a big deal. This is when he would officially ‘join’ the military and become an officer.
He asked me to be there and I guaranteed I would. Out of spite, the night before, I decided to skip it (I would have to wake up extremely early and drive for three hours to get there). A few hours after he texted me asking ‘where are you?’
I responded, ‘Sorry Bro, I overslept.’
No regrets.”
15. I Ended His Career And His Relationship
“I ruined someone’s career and their relationship over the course of a week.
So around 2006 I worked for an awful supervisor. The kind of supervisory figure that treats his underlings like trash, intimidates and harasses them into completing unreasonable deadlines, etc. He had a tendency to throw people under the bus, take accomplishments, and go so far as to appear ‘compassionate’ and ‘Counsel’ us whenever higher management was in eyeshot.
Complete nonsense aside he once got in my face over a minor correction to something he had wrong. Gave the ‘My word over yours, if I say you’re bad, you’re done.’ Leading into lecturing me over why he was successful and I would not be.
I dealt with this living incarnation of a hostile working environment each and every day. After one of my colleagues got fired because of him I vowed to put a stop to him however I could. My chance came that spring during a company picnic when I met my supervisor’s fiancée.
A lovely girl by the name of Catherine. Friendly and decent looking, and after some natural small talk, I discovered she worked at the nearby coffee shop. It was when I found out who she was there with that the plan was hatched.
I wasn’t much of a coffee drinker, but I figured what better a time to start. Slowly I started visiting this shop about every other morning, making sure to ‘catch’ and make small talk with Catherine. Nothing overt, just learning little bits of things she liked. The things I didn’t know much about I took the time to ‘research’ until I could really smile, hum along to her favorite band’s music whenever it came on with a smile, talk to her about what crazy mundane thing her cat had done.
Slowly I gained rapport and as I did I began visiting on lunch breaks too. She would sigh and I’d try to figure out what’s on her mind, being careful never to seem too overt or pressing. Soon, the cracks were revealed in the relationship with my supervisor.
I was subtle about siding with her and promoting an agreeable image of myself.
Meanwhile, at the workplace, my similarly plagued colleagues started working together to take down this scumbag. We began filling a secret directory with his mistakes. The things he did to wrong people, things he said, anything, all collected into one big ‘Screw this guy’ folder.
It felt like a coup and despite the nightmare we continued to work in, the glimmer of hope shone through to give me the strength to persevere.
All of this work culminated into the late summer. Lollapalooza was coming in August to Chicago only a short drive away, and it was there that things really started coming together.
I came into the coffee shop as usual at lunch and talked to Catherine. Over the course of the conversation, I appeared ‘Bummed’. When she asked, I brought up that I had two tickets to Lollapalooza (which some of her favorite bands were playing at) and my ‘friend’ had to back out.
She took the bait.
So come the first weekend of August and I pick her up. Much to my delight, I found out that she had lied to him about who she was going with. She thought that he predictably ‘wouldn’t understand’ if it was with a guy rather than the ‘girl friends’ she made up for the trip.
I was elated at the realization of how well this was going. Of course, we were going as ‘just friends’, and I had no intention of doing anything to screw up the plan. It felt too early to make a move.
Late that Sunday night we had returned. I dropped her off at the house she lived at with my supervisor. As I pulled in the door opened, and guess who was there to see none other than myself letting her out of my car.
I made very sure to ‘accidentally’ have the lights on in the interior and give him a good, long look at who was in the driver’s seat. The reaction, the look on his face when he recognized me was priceless.
That morning I came into work, practically giddy at the small victory in my head. Predictably he was waiting for me, and he wanted me in his office immediately. Adrenaline rush.
I played innocent up to that point, and when he closed the door his voice lowered. He gave me the most venomous stare I had ever seen and approached until he was inches from my face.
He was already red in the face and looked as though he had little sleep. ‘OP. I don’t know what was going on this weekend but I never want to see or hear you talking to my fiancée again.
I will end you if you so much as breathe in her direction-‘ He shoved me against the wall.
Up until that point, I was up dancing in my head in elation. Outside I had struggled to keep my composure.
But the moment he touched me the switch flipped into pure rage, and I snapped. Without even thinking, I put on the most contemptuous of grins, and things began to get surreal.
‘I’m going to sleep with Catherine.’
I hardly had the words out of my mouth when his fist slammed into my face.
I heard the shout of ‘You mother-‘ Pain and adrenaline rushed and as soon as I felt the hand grab the collar of my shirt I knew I had opened the floodgates to unwavering rage. Everything from that point is a blur that I can’t recall the exact details.
My boss was a fair bit bigger than me, and he was hurling his fists and body at me. Somehow I managed to get him off of me and started putting the nearest desk – anything I could get between him and me.
The door opened from outside and shouting began as people heard the chaos and moved to try to intervene.
The next thing I recall from that point on was one of my coworkers handed me a wad of paper towels.
My boss was shouting from down the hall as people tried to get him to calm down. The cops showed up and questioned everyone.
I maintained innocence the entire time as they took statements. I claimed that he overreacted and denied the talk about his fiancée two-timing him with me (Which technically was true).
During this time my colleagues sided with me and decided to make this the moment where the ‘Screw this guy’ Folder came out. My supervisor was fired the same day. I was put on unpaid vacation for a few days while everything got sorted out.
In the end, I got to keep my job.
Later that day I got a call from Catherine. After the arguments and accusations he made the night before, upon finding out what he had done, she decided that was the last straw and broke off the wedding/relationship.
I maintained my side of the story and she believed it.
Everything went so much better than I had hoped. Over the course of a day, I completely destroyed a guy. His career, his relationship. And I don’t feel the slightest bit of regret over it.
I ended up going out with Catherine within a few weeks of the breakup. Didn’t quite pan out in the long run and we split up a couple of months later. Heard that the ex-supervisor lost his home later and had to move into an awful apartment alone.
I was promoted a year and a half ago at my job and transferred to a new office since, and am currently loving life.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m some level of a sociopath… But man was that worth it for the nightmare I went through.”
14. Before You Yell At Me, Take A Look At What Store You're In
“I worked in Central Market Bakery, and people were always getting us confused with our south store and the Whole Foods up the street.
This lady comes in to pick up a cake order. ‘Cake for Mary Smith’ (fake name) enunciating every word at me like I’m an idiot.
I go check with our orders, I can’t find her cake. ‘Ma’am, what kind of cake was it?’
‘A birthday cake.’
‘Any other name?’
‘NO, I ordered it it’s under my name.’
I go back to the kitchen and call our sister store across town. They don’t have it. Go back to the lady. She’s tapping her foot and yelling into her phone about how this ‘jerk is taking forever with my order.’
I interrupt her without blinking. ‘Ma’am, neither our store nor our sister store has any record of your cake order, are you sure you ordered it with us? We do get confused with Whole Foods a LOT.’
‘Yes, I ordered it from this very store.
I called and ordered it from you.’
‘Ma’am, do you remember what flavor cake it was and whether it had a theme?’
‘It was a birthday cake and I ordered it here!!!’ She’s nearly throwing a tantrum.
I calmly walk back to the kitchen, the cake decorator comes running to catch me and walks me back up to our mean customer.
‘Ma’am, I’m the head cake decorator, I just got off the phone with Whole Foods on south street and they said that your cake is ready and waiting for you there.’
She doesn’t say anything but stomps her feet like a spoiled child and storms off.”
13. Threaten To Stop Shopping Here? Fine With Me
“I work in a used video game retail store. (Think GameStop, but a local chain and no new games.)
We had a pushy lady come in asking a lot of questions with more importance than was necessary.
She finally settled on only buying a 3 dollar 2-pack of DS styluses. We give her the receipt telling her explicitly (like we do every customer) that you need the receipt for a refund, and we only do in-store credit. No cash.
She blows us off in a hurry to leave and return to her no doubt Important and DS Included life.
Well, we messed up by giving her the wrong style of stylus. She had a DSi and we gave her the original DS stylus or whatever.
She huffs and puffs in saying ‘YEAH, I CAME IN HERE THE OTHER DAY AND BOUGHT A DS STYLUS!’ while turning to look at me and my coworker’s eyes letting it ‘sink in.’ I honestly forgot it even happened because I don’t remember quick, small transactions.
She goes on, ‘I WAS IN HERE THE OTHER DAY! I BOUGHT A STYLUS PACK!’ I slow her down and ask her what’s wrong. ‘YOU GUYS GAVE ME THE WRONG STYLUS. THIS DOESN’T FIT IN MY DS. I WANT MY MONEY BACK.’
I explain to her that we can’t give her cash back, but I can swap it out for her if she shows me the receipt.
I could feel it coming.
‘I DON’T HAVE THE STUPID RECEIPT. I DIDN’T THINK I WOULD HAVE TO KEEP A RECEIPT FOR SOMETHING AS STUPID AS THREE DOLLARS.’
I continue, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t run the return through without the receipt.’
‘I’M NEVER GOING TO SHOP HERE AGAIN. YOUR OTHER STORE TREATS ME BETTER.’
‘Ok, have a nice day.’
Annnnnnd she’s never come back since, thank god.
(It’s a franchise so the company pays her no matter where she shops. Be my guest to go over there.)”
12. I Put Dirt And Pebbles In My Bully's Sandwich
“In my old awful school, when I was in grade 3, the bathroom doors which led to the awful toilets had no locks. So one day, the class bully opens up a door and straight up pees on my leg while I was using one.
(For clarification, these are the types of stalls that have the toilet on the floor.) He said ‘sorry’ with the biggest grin I have ever seen. Now I used to be that one kid who always forgives people no matter what they do, but this was something I would never let get past me.
Sooo…
I stole his bag while he was being a jerk in an unknown area, stole his lunch box, and put some dirt and pebbles in his sandwich after emptying his water bottle on a few chosen books of his (which were of the last period so he doesn’t suspect the wet books) and then peed in his water bottle.
I had the pleasure of seeing him attempting to chew into his sandwich. After coughing it out, he thought his just-as-bad parents had given him Mt. Dew in his water bottle. He threw up after trying to take a swig.
He had to go back home after that because that awful school’s clinic thought he was suffering some weird disease or something. Although, due to this, I was unable to see his reaction over the books, which was a shame.
But I had my revenge. And I didn’t get busted for it, which was pretty great.
That incident changed me. From that day on, I was a different kid. I finally found out that people sucked and when anyone got up in my face, I would have my petty revenge.”
11. Leading The Annoying Driver Straight To The Cops
“Earlier this year I was coming home from a friend’s house. While driving down a two-lane back road this Malibu full of teenagers pulls up behind me and starts honking and flashing their lights.
I was doing exactly the speed limit because this particular stretch of road is very poorly maintained. Growing more and more irritated by their honking and shouting I suddenly realized we were approaching a spot the cops here frequently use as a speed trap.
It’s a hidden driveway just past a small hill, and the road goes from two to four lanes just before it. I proceeded to slow down further, going about 10kph under the speed limit, infuriating them more. I see the spot coming up, the road widens and they take off.
I floored the gas, egging him to try and pass me. Tried he did, we must have been doing 110 in an 80, then just before we crested the hill I hit the brakes and let him go, only to promptly get pulled over a few minutes later.”
10. Sure I'll Come Over To Say Goodbye...With My New Partner
“My partner of over 6 years broke up with me while we were house-sitting for my parents and went home without me. I still wanted us to be together and she would keep asking me to come over and we would go out and then she would just send me on my way again.
I kept hoping that if I started small, we could work things out.
I finally realized she was just using me so she wouldn’t feel lonely. I finally stopped seeing her. A few months later I get a call from her saying she’s moving away for a year and wanted to know if my parents could keep her (formerly our) cat for the year.
I said yes and went to her apartment to pick up the cat…..and brought my hot new partner with me. My ex was dressed way too nice for moving out, she most definitely wanted a last-minute hook-up and the death glares I got felt soooo good.”
9. I Convinced My Brother That His Loud Music Damaged His Ethernet Card
“My mother’s always been the overprotective ‘I’m right’ kind of parent.
At 17 I dropped out of school for a year, to work some awful job & have a change of scenery. Seeing as I had extreme trouble sleeping (insomnia since I was 7 years old) it didn’t go all too well.
My mom blamed it on me spending too much time online, and thus cut off both my & my brother’s internet. She did this ~an hour after I’d paid her half of my monthly salary in rent, and also offered her control of my WoW parental controls.
The following 6 months, 4 of which where I lived at home, I didn’t say a single word to her. I acknowledged that she was there by looking at her sometimes, but completely denied the worth of her existence by never even making a sound when she was around.
Psychological warfare is my preferred method I guess.
I also messed with my brother once when he was playing loud music 24/7.
Both of us were playing WoW at the time, and I’d had it with his music. Already suffering from insomnia I really didn’t need that nonsense.
I blocked the port WoW receives traffic on in the router, specifically for his IP.
At first, he tried to wait it out, thinking there were some problems with the servers since everything else was working. But in the end, he gave in and knocked on my door, asking me what the problem might be.
I told him that the sound waves from his stereo had damaged certain circuits of his ethernet card. And him being quite incompetent regarding computers he bought it.
About a month later he asked our dad for help, who called me about it.
Told him the whole thing and hearing him trying to suppress his laughter while my brother was standing next to him just made it so much better.”
8. Never Mess With The Yearbook Committee
“In junior high, I worked on the yearbook committee with one of my friends who was the photographer.
The teacher who was in charge was never there so we spent most of the time listening to music and formatting the class picture pages.
One day, I had been cornered by popular kids and tormented relentlessly. By the time I got to the committee, my friend told me that she had her own run-in, but with a different group of people.
We gave each other the same ‘are you thinking what I’m thinking?’ look and hatched a ‘Yearbook Sabotage’ plan.
Since she was in charge of the taking and final approval of all photos appearing in the yearbook, we would pick the most embarrassing and unflattering pictures of the people we hated and format them on pages to be sent to the publisher.
I was in charge of making up the witty captions to go along with the photos, as well as checking the spelling for students’ first and last names for the extracurricular activities. We had a blast botching people’s names. Over the course of four weeks, the yearbook had become our playground.
Two months later the final copies of the yearbook had arrived. At the yearbook preview party, my friend and I gushed over our work and toasted to a job well done. A week later, the entire school received their copies.
Word quickly circulated about the hilarious pictures, captions, and misspellings in the yearbook. The people who we botched demanded to know who was in charge of the sections, but never found out it was us since we changed our initials on the pages we worked on.”
7. Pick On Everyone? I'll Glue You To The Chair
“In high school, there was this mean kid who would always pick on kids, usually just random people he could take advantage of. I can’t put into words how rude and bullyish this kid was. Reeked of smoke. He always wore thick JNCO jeans every single day.
After a while of his nonsense, I decided to play a prank on him. I waited a while (a couple of weeks) after he messed with me so he wouldn’t think of me as a subject in this prank. The night before, I prepared. I bought a dozen packs of super glue and put them into an empty Elmer’s glue bottle and mixed it with some blue dye (chairs were blue).
I had third period with him the next day. He always came in at the exact same time, every day, and went to sleep in the back of the room, not moving an inch. So right before he came in, I snuck over and spread this blue glue all over the flat butt part of the seat.
I had to time it just right so that the glue wouldn’t dry before he sat down. I emptied all the glue and jumped back into my seat.
He came in, headphones on, sat down, and right to sleep. His JNCOs were so thick and baggy, he didn’t even notice.
A few gasps and laughs from a handful of witnesses came out. time goes by and the glue eventually dries. Class ends, here’s the fun part. This guy always springs out of his seat directly to the door, so when he got up, the chair stuck right to him.
He couldn’t straighten his back, chair stuck to him, stumbled forward, bulldozed right into a wall, face first, (HUGE DENT), and fell right in front of about 30 people. Easily the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Next was the most profanity I’ve ever heard come out of anyone’s mouth.
He was HEATED, struggling to get up, falling again and again, struggling with his loose JNCOs and chains. Everybody is laughing, more and more people gather around, I’m sure there are a dozen videos out there. His only option after stumbling around in an impenetrable circle of kids was to take his JNCOs off and wrap a hoodie around his waist. Hunch-running through the crowd of people (probably hundreds now) yelling ‘SCREW ALL Y’ALL!!!
SCREW YOU!! MOVE JERK!!!’ He ran off to the bathroom. The crowd soon dispersed into their next classes.
About 25 minutes later I took a bathroom break and decided to see if he was up to anything, you know, the aftermath.
I eventually find him walking out to his car. I jog up to him and tap him on the shoulder. He turns around, defeated, and says ‘what do you want.’ My eyes wander down to his ripped jeans, covered in glue and toilet paper.
I then tip my fedora and say, ‘good day, sir.'”
6. Make Fun Of How I Throw? You Won't Be Laughing Anymore
“One day in Middle School (6th grade). It was gym class, which I never really cared for, but never dreaded. I was pretty small, but I could do most, if not everything in class just as well as everyone else.
Well, anyway, one day, we are playing dodgeball. I had never really played dodge ball a lot, and thus, I never really knew how to hold the ball correctly and throw, and with my small hands, it was pretty hard to do even if I had known how to.
I could throw anything else really well, just something about that god-awful day.
Anyway, there was this guy in class who liked to tease me about whatever. I didn’t really care, because why should I? Anyway, we are playing dodge ball, and I am trying my hardest to throw nicely, but it ends up going in odd directions, which amazingly no one catches.
He is sitting near the line because their team was winning. I am still left because I am small, and paying more attention to dodging than anything else.
Well, this jerk starts laughing at how bad I am throwing, and it kinda annoys me.
I go off to the left of him, and while he is distracted, I try getting him out, because why not? That would have been the biggest slap to the face ever.
But something different happens. I throw the perfect throw, hitting him right in the face.
Solid. It was moving pretty fast too. Easily one of the best things to actually come out of middle school.
Well, the coach stops the game and asks who did that. I don’t claim it, because I don’t know if I would get in trouble, and I don’t want to be known as the reason we can’t play dodge ball anymore.
The gym teacher just assumes it was one of the more athletic students, but with no proof, he just lets us continue the game.
Guy gets sent to the office to fill out a piece of paperwork, as required when someone is injured on school grounds.
No dodge ball for him the rest of the day, which was a really big deal because all we ever did was run, or stretch.”
5. I Used My Narcissistic Ex's Bad Memory Against Him
“Yep, I did…in the very beginning after the horrendous final discard from him and while heading to divorce. All the lies, deceit, him leading a double life…Not proud of it, had no real effect on him…but hey we are all human.
And now years later, it is quite funny.
So let’s see…I had read the shrimp story…you probably know the one! Placed shrimp in some furniture and his golf club bag. I wrote Bible scriptures in furniture and desk drawers.
I watered down his prized booze collection. Packed up his prized boots with one missing. Kept the great mattresses and substituted them with some really bad ones. He demanded a number of handmade ornaments by our daughters from our Christmas collection…so they ‘made’ him several…no sentiments.
I placed spilled cat food (canned) in the refrigerator he demanded.
The best one? I had collected art from various places we lived or visited. Over 13 years, there was quite a bit…sentimental value to me. (He never was interested.) He made it clear he was targeting several of the larger (Of course right?) pieces to impress her and decorate their new home…and mainly to hurt me.
Let me toss in…he has a horrible memory and recall…
So, in the middle of the night, I awoke with a plan. I got up, moved all the art around substituting other items and things-even with 2 from a painting class that I and a friend had attended. Shuffled them all around with my most favorites being taken down and to my closet…where some amazing friends took them the following day while we were at church and stored them in a secret location!
Lol…
Then, I threw him off the trail of the larger piece by acting like I would do anything – even giving him the dining room table (Which I already had purchased the replacement of the barn door table I had always wanted!) Worked…
So, he did the walk-through…surprised him with a different family friend there each time…made him nervous especially since they followed him throughout the walk-through and he never ever noticed the missing pieces of artwork! He even forgot that a beautiful leather chair was his and never asked for that…Saved….lol!
I also hid family pictures, etc in crazy places throughout the house-therefore re locally they were not removed…lol…
Something a bit non-related that my friends and I really laugh about? During the first time over to gather some things, I had 2 random friends sub for me that he didn’t even know!
Lol…His main focus? Koozies…and cookbooks! Seriously! Not kidding! What Air Force officer cares about those?
Hope you are laughing… I sure am! Again, folks are right – it really serves no high purpose and changes nothing. And some people will trade revenge for even bigger revenge.
So it is not a smart or wise game to begin.
But…I have been there…done that.”
4. Can't Make Up Your Mind? Make Your Own Dinner
“So I had just broken up with my live-in partner and was in the process of moving out. We had agreed to be civil to each other because we were stuck with one another for a few days, which limited him only to passive-aggressive behavior.
But man did he passive-aggress.
I had pulled my back moving and was stuck on the couch. He and his friend were playing video games on the two computers. We were still taking turns cooking dinner, and though it was my turn, I was barely able to move and had told him I couldn’t cook that night.
He decided not to cook either, because he’d rather be hungry than help me. I tried to wait it out, but eventually announced that I was going to the grocer to buy chips since I couldn’t stand in the kitchen to cook, and would he like anything?
He assured me, no.
I went out, in great pain, and bought myself a snack bag of pita chips. Because I was not a complete jerk, I picked him up two family-sized bags of potato chips and Doritos as well as a tin of chip dip.
I came home, handed him his chips and dip, and sat down on the couch. The instant my butt hit the cushion, he began sighing.
‘What?’
‘It’s just that I can’t eat chips out of the bag while I play this game, and I’m in a dungeon so I can’t put them on a plate.’
I tell him to just wait until he’s out of the dungeon. He sighs. Again and again and again. Louder and louder until he’s issuing a constant bellowed, ‘Hhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! Hhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuu!’ Finally, I get up, plate up a handful of each chip and a bowl of dip for him and his friend (who is grateful, but extremely uncomfortable), and sit back down.
‘Don’t I get pitas??’ my ex whines.
‘No. These are mine.’
‘But… But I thought some were for meeeeeeeeeeeee…’
‘You didn’t even want anything. These are mine.’
He begins to power-sigh again. I get up, tip a handful of my chips onto his plate, take a handful of his potato chips and sit back down.
Might I remind you, I’m in great physical pain. Without a thank you, he plows through the plate of chips, then proves he has no problems eating out of a bag while gaming, powering through the remains of both bags of family-sized chips.
‘What did you pick up to make for dinner?’
‘Nothing. Like I said.’
‘But I thought you would.’
“I specifically said I would not.”
‘But I thought that wasn’t what you meant.’
‘That sounds like your own problem.’
‘But I’m still huuuuuuuuuuuungry…’
I point out that he just ingested two family-sized bags of chips after telling me that he wanted nothing from the store. He begins whining. I tell him that if he’s so hungry, he can just cook dinner for himself.
No, it’s my turn, and that’s not fair to him. I tell him he was aware of the situation all day. He begins power-sighing again. SNIFF sighs ‘I’m so huuuuungry…’ he whispers. Over, And over. And over.
You may think it’s just whining and you can just wait it out, but he will not let me carry a train of thought.
If I put on headphones, he gets louder. If I move to the bathroom, he has to pee every thirty seconds. Finally, I ask if I can get him anything from the store he can just microwave. He asks if I’m only offering to make him be quiet.
I tell him ABSOLUTELY. He declines. He wouldn’t want to pressure me. He begins sighing again. I offer to get food again. He asks again if it’s to shut him up. I say no. He asks if it’s because I’m his friend and I still like him.
Sure. Why not? I’m moving tomorrow. What does he want me to get?
‘Oh… anything you pick out is fine.’
‘Instant mac and cheese.’
‘Anything but that.’
‘Hot dogs.’
‘Anything but that.’
‘Taquitos.’
‘Anything but that.’
‘Pick something and I will go get it!’
‘Oh… anything you pick is fine.’
I tell him that obviously it is not and to pick something. He announces that I’m being mean and obviously I’m NOT still his friend and am just trying to make him be quiet.
He begins power-sighing again. His friend, who’s been sitting through the entire exchange looking mortified, tells him to pick something. He finally picks frozen Whitecastle. I go to the store and see that there’s both hamburger and cheeseburger. I call the house because I KNOW how this will play out.
He doesn’t pick up. I choose hamburger. I present it to him, in seething agony.
‘…Not…. cheeseburger…?’ he whimpers.
‘Eat them.’
‘Will you microwave them for me?’
‘No.’
Power-sighing resumes. His friend orders him to microwave his own dinner so I can sit down.
My ex complains all night that all he ever wanted was Whitecastle cheeseburgers. The next day he pulled ANOTHER stunt because he’d obviously not had enough. I hope to never see such a childish display again.”
1) that I'm not his chef, and
2) to go f--k himself.
3. Blame Your Bad Actions On Me? Enjoy Your Roach Burger
“I worked at a restaurant when I was younger. This psycho little waitress who was known for starting trouble stole $400 from the cash register and told the police it was me when they showed up.
I caught a lot of grief for it because I wasn’t a good kid, but I was no thief. The police couldn’t prove anything so the whole thing went away. She didn’t know that I knew she told them that.
Fast forward two weeks, I was prepping turkeys and the cook had his lunch break so I had to fill in. I get a ticket for her lunch and she wants a cheeseburger. The restaurant was having a roach problem and the exterminator was due in that night.
I took four of those bad boys off the wall with my spatula and seared them right into her burger. Flipped it and put the cheese on top so they were under the cheese. I came out and pretended to be worried about my work.
I said ‘I hope the burger is ok, I don’t usually do line cook.’
And she SMILED at me while chewing and said ‘it’s great,’ with a thumb up.
When she opened her mouth and I saw the black bits, I couldn’t tell if it was roach or cheeseburger, but my body heaved with laughter reflex so I had to fake a sneezing fit and run back into the kitchen.
If you’ve ever seen the movie ‘Waiting,’ it’s true – DON’T MESS WITH THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOUR FOOD!”
2. Stealing From A Teen And Then Asking Them To Make You Food Isn't Going To End Well
“I worked in the kitchen at a yacht club as my first job when I was 16. During the summers, I also taught a sailing camp for kids before my kitchen shifts, often having to use the locker room showers to rinse off and get straight to cooking once the boats were docked. I was working 12+ hour days for weeks, usually without any break between sailing and cooking.
During one particular summer, I noticed that my paychecks were coming up a few hundred dollars short. When I confronted the owner about it, he wouldn’t believe me until I pulled out a calculator to show him the math. After assuring me that it had to have been a mistake, I find out that the summer camp director (let’s call her Karen) was offering significant discounts to her friends who signed their kids up for the sailing camp.
Karen, a very wealthy white woman, was straight-up stealing funds from a teenage, minimum-wage employee.
So fast forward to my last day (I even had the decency to put in two weeks instead of just walking out), I’m saying goodbye to my coworkers and we’re all cleaning the kitchen to close down for the night when lo and behold Karen walks in.
She plays dumb, acting like she didn’t know we were closing, and looks at me and asks, ‘How about one more quesadilla before you leave us?’ I could feel my b***d start to boil, and just as I was about to lose it, I got an idea…
Now during my entire 4 years working in the kitchen, I NEVER messed around with anyone’s food…until this moment. After she walks out, my coworkers just stare in disbelief as I start making her stupid quesadilla. They’re asking me why I didn’t chew her out, it was my last day after all, but I tell them I have a surprise for her.
After finishing her quesadilla, I stand back and hock the biggest loogie imaginable – making sure every bit of it is spread throughout her quesadilla. When I took it out to her, I dropped it on the table and watched as she looked at her snot-riddled food in disgust. Shouldn’t have taken my funds, jerk.”
1. Our Loud Neighbors Ended Up Being Afraid Of Us
“My fiance specialized in passive-aggressive revenge.
In our first apartment, our upstairs neighbor was pretty loud on otherwise quiet nights.
It was a college town and looking back on it, I guess he wasn’t any worse than any other student, but A. (my fiance) gets gleefully mean when intoxicated, and we were intoxicated a lot back then.
The first thing we did was grab a hammer and a kitchen knife.
We went up to his room, knocked on the door, and held them in plain view of him and his buddies. We smiled, shook his hand, and told him politely that we lived downstairs, and that sometimes he and his friends were loud enough to keep us up (this last bit was a total lie as we almost never slept more than a few hours a night back in those days.) They were obviously unsettled, but they acceded. A few days later, they were at it again, and so on went a repeat performance.
This time they asked us what the weapons were for. We told them we just happened to be holding them.
From then on, that guy watched us like a hawk. I would see him peeking out of his window as we went to class, watching us whenever we left for groceries.
I ended up in a History class with him, and every time we met eyes he squirmed.
And then, for no reason at all, one night A. decided that it would be funny to put a used tampon on his doorstep.
Just like that. Only we couldn’t just put it on HIS doorstep. No, then he’d know it was us. So we had to put used tampons on the doorstep of every single apartment in the complex.
We were evicted promptly, but it was worth every second.
Ask me about the time she hid a rotten chicken breast behind her roommate’s washing machine and poured an entire can of Miralax into their filtered water pitcher.”
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