People Plead For Us To Weigh In Our Thoughts Regarding Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
37. AITJ For Making My Sister Pay For My IPad That She Stole And Got Lost?
“My (17 F) sister (15 F) has the habit of takings things from my bedroom and keeping them or losing them. My father has talked to her, ground her, and make her pay them back but she just doesn’t listen, my mom always takes her side and makes excuses for her. M dad had enough so he bought me a small safe (against my mom’s wishes) and I keep some jewelry, make-up, my diary, and gifts from my significant other (19 M) Caleb.
Cal comes from an upper-class family and he’s always buying me stuff, most of it gets stolen by my sister but the most precious gift I have for him is an iPad Pro he gave me for my 17th birthday on Feb 14. I love to draw, is my hobby, my form of expression, and how I relax.
I used to do it on my laptop, but since Cal gave me the iPad now I can do it in my free time during classes, on the train, the garden, I have more options now. Cal also made a custom case that he paint with a lot of things for me. When I’m out of home I leave it in my safe because is one of the only things I didn’t want to lose.
And to be honest I don’t want my sister putting her hands on it.
I spent two days at my brother’s (21 M) apartment planning my lil sister’s birthday party, when I came back I went to take the iPad to sketch some ideas but I only found the case. I thought I had left it somewhere else but I was sure I didn’t, I also never took the case because is my favorite thing, I looked around my whole room, my dad’s office and the garden, since I’m usually there all the time.
I also called Cal and asked if I left it in his house but he said no. When my family came back I was awfully crying in the kitchen.
My dad asked what happened and I told her that I couldn’t find my iPad. My mom said very lazily ‘Your sister lost it on the train yesterday’.
I asked what and she said ‘Your sister took it to school and lost it. Accidents happen, let it go’. I was actually livid, I said that my sister opened my safe (dunno how) and STOLE my tablet. My mom told me to shut up and to never call my sister a theft again, my dad got involved and after much fighting, he said that my sister had to pay me back, my sister just said that she didn’t have money and attempted to go to her room so I told her that I’ll take the budget for her party and just keep it for my iPad, she came right at me and told me that I couldn’t do it, my mom sided with her and demanded the money but I said ‘No, she owes me.
I get to keep it’ and ran to my room.
My father said that I could do it and buy another one, my brother transferred the funds a few hours ago and is sitting in Cal’s account (because I don’t have one yet), my sister has been crying because she just lost her sweet sixteen party and says a tablet is worth much less than that.”
36. AITJ For Wanting My Neighbor's Kids To Stay Away From My Cars And Dogs?
“I live in a townhome, every townhome in this community has a small fenced-in backyard that goes up to a sidewalk and then has 2 parking spaces against the sidewalk. In my lease, it is clearly stated that there is no playing or riding bikes, scooters, etc in the parking lot ever and no bikes/scooters, etc on the sidewalks.
These are not public sidewalks but walkways along the back of the units.
One of my neighbors (I’ll call her Angela) is a single mom with 3 kids, guessing the ages I’d say 7, 6, and 4 (or at least too young for kindergarten). I live in between her and another mom who Angela is friends with.
I’ve overheard enough from them talking to know that Angela lost custody of her kids last fall and just got them back a few weeks ago. This is why I kinda feel like a jerk.
On Saturday Angela sent her kids outside to play, she was not out there with them but I think she has the bigger 2 kids watch the youngest, they were all racing bikes around the parking lot which is against the rules but I have never reported it in the past because it didn’t effect me and I don’t like to snitch.
The older 2 kids must’ve ditched the 4-year-old because she was just biking by herself on one of those push bikes with no pedals, I’m backing up into my parking spot so I can unload groceries and my neighbor (not the mom) is in her car next to mine and honks and yells at the little girl because she wasn’t looking and was about to ride off the sidewalk into my parking spot while I’m backing up into it.
She yells at the little girl to stay away from cars.
15 minutes later I go back out to put new registration stickers on my car and the little girl is still out there alone. She then rides right up beside my car, loses her balance, and hits my car with her front tire. There’s no damage but I’m mad, but don’t yell or swear, I tell the girl she needs to stay away from my cars and there’s no playing in the parking lot.
The little girl’s mom walks by a few seconds after the impact and asks what happened, I tell her that her kid hit my car, and she tells her kid the same, stay away from cars.
Sunday her kids are back in the parking lot, mom’s not around, and they’re riding by cars and between them again.
I take my dogs out to take a dump and the little girl runs over to the edge of my yard, stares at me, and starts barking at my dogs, I just stood there looking at her like ‘what?!’ but she kept it up until I went back inside. I wasn’t going to escalate the issue until that happened.
I report the bike incidents to the landlord, I name her and her address and provide my security video of the 2 incidents by my car and am very strongly worded about it. The landlord sends notice to everyone that there is absolutely no playing or biking in the parking lots for anyone and then tells me they’re writing up Angela for lease violations.
I just wanted her kids to stay away from my cars and dogs. AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Not Helping My Former In-Laws With My Children's Half-Siblings?
“I have two children who are now 12 and 11 with my ex who passed a little over a year ago.
While we were still together he ended up becoming infatuated with this addict who he left me for. They married and had two small children together. He had limited contact with our children because I fought to keep my kids away from her. Then my ex died, and his wife lost her parental rights, which from the sounds of it she was fine with.
My ex’s family wanted me to take the two children and raise them, with the offer of financial assistance from them to aid in that work. I said no and it led to tension. I did allow them to keep contact going and set up visits, but I do not want to be involved in those other two children.
My former in-laws have both run into some health problems and they have continued turning to me for help, which I have said no to. Recently my former FIL was hospitalized after a heart attack and my former MIL told me someone needs to step up and help them with the kids. I said I am not going to do it.
I told them it can never be me, and they need to accept that and find someone else.
Now I am running into a lot of crap from extended family who do not live nearby saying I am the closest thing they have to a parent now and that my former in-laws are unlikely to be healthy enough to raise these kids to 18 and it would be evil of me to let the kids go into foster care or get sent states away from their siblings who live with me.
They also claim I am going to make my kids hate me which I seriously doubt.
AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Kicking My Dad Out Of My Wedding?
“I (28 F) am getting married in November and since the minute I’ve been engaged everyone has tried to dictate my decisions (I know everyone has an opinion so I’ve politely taken the suggestions and implemented what I can to make everyone as happy as I can).
My dad is on his third divorce and has recently (like two weeks ago) met a woman. He’s only seen her twice and called me last night to tell me he’s bringing her to the wedding – end of story.
I have already sent my final numbers and table plans to the venue and I asked him where I would seat her at so last minute, he said he’s paying for it so he can bring who he wants.
None of my family have met this woman so I thought it would be unfair for her to be alone at the wedding so I called him to discuss.
My dad has paid one installment to my wedding venue of about £4000, and consistently hangs this over my head, and whilst I’m grateful he uses it to blackmail me at every opportunity to get what he wants.
During the call he said it ‘wasn’t my day’ and ‘he’s paid for it so he’s entitled to do as he pleases’ and stated my wedding day ‘isn’t all about me’ which is true to some degree I guess. I asked him not to raise his voice as I was previously in an abusive relationship (which he knows about) and yelling makes me nervous.
He began to scream profanities at me and told me all of my friends that I have invited are nobodies so this stranger of a woman should be no different. He told me I meant nothing to him so I lost my cool and told him not to bother paying any more money and not to come.
I’ve spoken to my sisters (16 and 15, we share the same dad, different mothers) who have both agreed they are also blackmailed with money such as he has threatened to cancel a family vacation with them because they called their mother whilst at his home.
My grandparents say I’m being unreasonable kicking him out of the wedding.
AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Being Mad At My Mom And Not Coming To My Own Baby Shower?
“My aunt decided to throw my husband and me a baby shower and my mom volunteered to do the food and I said I’d help also just as a token of my appreciation for her putting the shower together. I specifically requested we don’t make our traditional food as it’s such a hassle and super expensive.
I was hoping we could just order finger foods (pizza, lumpia, etc.) because it was more in our budget as well anyways. I told my mom this for weeks, I do not want to cook on the day of the baby shower because I’d really like for everyone to just enjoy and relax. Especially my husband because whenever we have a family event he always ends up doing ALL the cooking.
I wanted him to be able to enjoy our baby shower.
Literally the morning of our baby shower my mom wakes my husband and me up at 7 AM to cook! Our shower is at 1 PM. The amount of food she wants to be cooked probably will take until 12 PM to be done with, I was mad!
I told her I no longer will be attending the baby shower and for her to enjoy her big day! She began calling me ungrateful and told me I should be grateful she cares. I told her not to pull the ungrateful card on me because I communicated this WEEKS ago! She waited until the MORNING of to let us in on her plan which makes it clear to me she knew that I would not agree to this.
I don’t feel like going anymore.
Also, my mom does this A LOT! In any event, we have she will completely ignore anyone’s input and make it all about her. I feel bad because she did buy all the food but I specifically told her NOT to do that. So am I the jerk for not wanting to go anymore?”
32. AITJ For Wanting To Send My Husband's Son To Camp For The Summer?
“My (34 F) husband (35 M) and his first wife’s custody agreement states that he has full physical custody of their son (8 M) for eight weeks each summer. I was fully aware of this prior to our marriage and I was happy with this and the weekends he spends with us.
I really love him. He’s great. I can’t have kids so having one built into a relationship has been fulfilling.
The problem is that my husband’s job has him out of the country for an assignment for six of the eight weeks this year that he can’t really get out of. His ex can’t really budge on this because of her own work schedule (plus she needs a break).
Instead of taking my stepson with him, I have been asked to have him stay with him full-time. I love him. I really do. But I am also not mentally or emotionally prepared to take him for six weeks 24/7 all by myself. I also work in the medical field and this overlaps with my first real vacation in nearly two years.
I was really hoping to relax.
My compromise was to send him to an M-F sleepaway camp and keep him with me on weekends. I even offered to help pay for it. My husband agrees it is a lot of work and a big ask, but thinks I am being cold/a jerk and this is a missed opportunity to further bond with my stepson, and that I will make my stepson feel unwanted/like a burden.
I obviously don’t want that… but I also don’t think I am an evil stepmother for not wanting to do this 24/7 thing with my son all summer.
My question is, am I/would I be the jerk if I refused and required him to go to camp? Does this make me a bad stepmother? I don’t think it is divorce worthy but it would probably create a rift in our otherwise lovely marriage.”
31. AITJ For Telling My Mom I Want To Live With My Dad And Stepmom?
“My dad came over on Valentine’s Day to bring me flowers. Then he talked to my half-sister (she’s a toddler) and my mom and stepdad. He gave my half-sister some of the flowers he got me. I told him that it made me sad because he is my dad, not hers and he said he was sorry if I felt less important.
My mom then yelled at me and was like ‘blended family’ ‘co-parenting’ ‘she’s your SISTER,’ etc.
I then told her and my stepdad that it isn’t fair that I have to have two homes and live in a house with someone who isn’t my parent. I told her that she gave my half-siblings more stability and love than she has ever given me.
I told her that I am the victim of her choices. I said that my dad is my dad and she can’t just give him to my half-sister who has all the love and the stability she needs. I told her that I’m sick of her hurting me and trying to take everything away that makes me feel safe and happy.
I told her that I feel embarrassed that she doesn’t even feel the slightest bit of guilt for what her romantic choices have done to me and that she could have just 1. not had me 2. given me away for adoption and instead decided to be selfish and make me suffer based on her actions.
I told her that if she wants another daughter she better make one with my stepdad and replace me because I want to live with my dad and stepmom and see her maybe once a month.
She then got sad and my dad told me to be nice. My stepdad had things to say too but I told him he isn’t my parent and to mind his business.
I would like to know if I am a jerk. I did mean it when I said I am living with my dad permanently, but I understand that sometimes you have to apologize for being a jerk.”
30. AITJ For Blocking My Supervisor's Number?
“I have worked at my corporate job for about 2 years and have had the same direct supervisor/manager the whole time. I had no problem with him until roughly 2 months ago when he asked me on a date outside of work hours. I politely declined as I simply don’t go there with work colleagues/superiors due to a personal conviction of mine, nothing against him whatsoever.
He took the rejection well and never brought it up again.
However, since then he has been sending me compliments via text message. They don’t happen every day, maybe once or twice a week, and they are never too innocuous, usually something like ‘I liked the shirt you wore today’ or ‘Your hair looks nice.’ Even still, these messages have taken on a new meaning to me knowing that he has/had a romantic interest in me, and they make me uncomfortable.
I did not want to go to him about this as I didn’t want to disrupt our professional relationship further, so I went to HR with the messages. They told me there wasn’t really anything they could do as he didn’t push the issue of the date and nothing he has said to me since has crossed a line.
Well, whether or not they cross this arbitrary HR ‘line,’ they make me uncomfortable, and if no one was going to do anything about it, then I would! So I blocked his number a few days ago.
Of note, we have a professional work email that he can use to get in contact with me.
While most of our communications are admittedly done through text, it isn’t like he didn’t have a way of getting work information to me via email or in person by coming to my office.
This morning, he stormed into my office demanding to know why I hadn’t completed any of the tasks he assigned me this week.
I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about as I didn’t receive any of the tasks he described. He told me he texted me about them, I said I am not receiving text messages from him anymore. He was LIVID. He started screaming at me and ended up writing me up for poor communication and not completing assigned work, especially since one of the assignments was of particular importance to a major client of ours.
I tried to tell him that if the tasks were that urgent and I wasn’t responding, he could have followed up via email or by simply stopping by my office to ask how the tasks were progressing. He told me he never had to baby me like that in the past and if I didn’t unblock his number to allow for open work communication he would fire me.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Punishing My Daughter By Making Her Cut Her Own Hair Off?
“I have two daughters, Essie Mae, 6, and Dolly, 10.
Dolly has become really interested in pulling jokes on people. For the most part, this has been a non-issue. We had the whole ‘it’s only okay if it makes EVERYONE laugh, not just you’ talk, and her jokes were innocent (ex: switching out her & her sister’s identical pair of boots to make Essie Mae think her shoes grew overnight).
That is, until Dolly hacked off a huge hunk of Essie Mae’s (mid-back length) hair while she was sleeping, right at the scalp. Dolly showed no remorse for this.
I’m a hairdresser and tried everything I could to see if I could camouflage the bald spot, but it was such a big patch that we had no choice but to buzz the rest of Essie Mae’s hair off.
Essie Mae reasonably was distraught and sobbed for days and refused to leave the house. My husband and I agreed that Dolly knew exactly what she was doing and did it specifically to be cruel to Essie Mae. We told Dolly that since she took so much away from Essie Mae, it was only fair she had something of equal value taken away.
We told her that she could choose to either have her iPad, computer, T.V., and American Girl Doll privileges taken away until Essie Mae’s hair grew to around pixie cut length or she could get a large portion of her hair (which was past her butt) cut off.
Dolly reluctantly chose to cut her hair.
I sat her down in front of the mirror and told her that since she was so okay with cutting her sister’s hair, she’d be the one cutting her hair, too. She started screaming and crying and saying she couldn’t do that to herself, so I brought up that the other option for punishment was still available.
She bawled her eyes out the entire time while she cut her hair off, and ended up with a chin-length bob. I evened it out for her, of course. She sobbed for hours afterward, and a friend told me I may have been too harsh.”
28. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mom To Invite Her Partner To My Birthday Celebration?
“My birthday is coming up and I planned a small dinner at a restaurant with 6 people. Myself, my 2 grandparents, my best friend, my sister, and my mum. The dinner is on a Saturday night and my birthday is on Sunday. I sent out the invite to everyone and my mum was wondering if her partner was invited, I said no he isn’t invited because I just wanted it to be us 6 to keep it small.
Some information about my mother’s partner is that when I was younger my mum and I moved in with him and he was emotionally and verbally abusive to us. When we did end up leaving his house we were left homeless and had to live with the same grandparents who I have invited to dinner.
My grandparents obviously don’t feel great about my mum’s partner and I don’t like it when he’s around either.
My mum and her partner did split up but a year later when we had finally moved to our own house and everything was back to normal she started the relationship again with the same guy.
For the last 5 years, I have heard nothing but all the issues she has with him and how she just stays with him because she feels like nobody else would ever date her. Their relationship is very dysfunctional and they only see each other once a week on a Saturday because they both have work throughout the week and clearly they can’t live together to see each other more frequently.
My mum sat down with me and told me I was being very rude and disrespectful. She said it has put her in a terrible position to make her choose between her daughter (me) and her partner. She also said that I know that they catch up on a Saturday night and I shouldn’t have had the dinner on the Saturday.
I have told her I understand that she is annoyed about the situation, but it is my birthday and I just wanted to keep it small and see the people I want to see.
Am I the jerk for not inviting my mum’s partner to my birthday?”
27. AITJ For Not Wanting My Baby's Father To Be Around When I Give Birth?
“I had been in a ‘friends with benefits’ situation that turned sour. He apparently didn’t see me as a friend or even like me all that much.
Had gotten pretty abusive but I was stuck. With all the details it was everything in a relationship without him wanting to call me his significant other. A very crappy situation all in all. Then, I got pregnant. This was a huge wake-up call for me. In a way really ripped off the rose-colored glasses.
I was terrified. I told him, he flipped and was awful about it. Questioned who the dad was, if I’d trapped him etc.
I convinced him to go to the first two appointments one verifying pregnancy and the second one being the first ultrasound. Then he ran away to a job that was 12 hours away.
After that throughout my pregnancy, he’d either say he wanted nothing to do with me or demand my health information. If I didn’t he’d accuse me of denying him access to his child.
I tried working with him because he’s the baby’s father. He has a right to be in their life. We’d have moments where we’d be able to talk and I’d have hope.
Discussing what we’d do with custody child support etc cause I told him it wasn’t important that I get money. Just that the baby was cared for.
From the beginning up to a month before I gave birth, he insisted I put the baby up for adoption. I refused because even without him I’d financially and emotionally be able to raise the baby myself.
I have a big family so I could easily make it work. Giving her up just cause he didn’t want a baby seemed unfair to her.
In the end, as much as I tried I didn’t feel safe with him around. So much so that the only time I had a high bp was when he was there.
So when it came time to have her I sent him a long message telling him that my baby and his safety was paramount and that I wasn’t okay with him being there.
Fast forward I had her, tore in a few spots. Extremely painful but took little to no painkillers. Basically ibuprofen and Tylenol.
I asked him for a few days to recover before he came over and he called the troupers. They said if I was their sister they’d recommend me getting a restraining order. I did and it was denied.
Now he’s using that over my head that I lied about the mistreatment and how awful I am for not letting him be there when I gave birth.
AITJ for not letting my baby’s father be there for labor and delivery? He made me feel unsafe.”
26. AITJ For Telling My Fiancé To Cut Ties With My Ex Or I Won't Marry Him?
“So my partner Dylan and I have been together for almost 5 years, and he proposed 9 months ago. We’ve known each other since high school, however, at the time we were only friends since I was with my ex, Jason.
Long story short, he had an affair multiple times and we broke off. That’s when I went to college, where I started going out with Dylan.
They only knew each other from high school but never had an actual friendship. Well, Dylan decided to host a party in order to celebrate our engagement, and one of his friends brought Jason.
And surprise surprise they became friends.
Now they text every day, go out on the weekends, or even have dinner together constantly. At first, I didn’t think too much of it, but now I am uncomfortable. I talked about this with Dylan after he came back home from work. I established that his friendship with Jason is concerning to me and that he spends more time with him, but told me I was exaggerating.
We kinda had an argument about how Jason had an affair and lied to me for years and how could he be ok with that, he said that people can change and that he didn’t mean it, blah, blah, blah.
We didn’t talk much after that, but then he apologized and told me he’ll take me to dinner at my favorite restaurant the next day in order to compensate for the time, we haven’t had these weeks.
I was really excited, I even went to get my hair done and bought a really pretty dress that afternoon. We’d see each other at the restaurant since he ‘can’t get out of work earlier’.
Well, an hour passed and there was no sign of him. I started to get worried and called him repeatedly.
Then he arrived, looking terrible. He was wasted and even smell like smoke. I asked him where he was and tried to avoid the question, I asked him again and his guilty face told me everything. He was with Jason. I was livid and left the restaurant. We had an argument outside and he confessed that he’d promised Jason to go with him to visit this new bar at his house and didn’t want to fail him.
But I said it seemed he cared more about him than us, that he should get married to him if he is that important. He said he was the only one who understands him, not like me. I exploited and told him that if he doesn’t cut him off then I won’t marry him. He started crying and called me a jerk for putting him in that position, then he left.
Now his mom and sister are calling me also the jerk, and manipulative of his life. I am at my sister’s house but I really don’t know if what I did makes me the jerk or not.”
Now hos mom ams sister are blowing up on you because they only know what Dylan told them which is probably that you have argued cos he went out.. I don't suppose they know he STOOD YOU UP in a restaurant then showed up jerk, LATE ands5inkimg of smoke after blowing you off when HE ARRANGED rhe date to make up for all the times he's been pit woth YOUR EX....
Personally I would sit Dylan down tell him that HE KNOWS how jason did you wrong and you could possibly move past that IF he your fiance could stop putting Jason above you.. and that you don't appreciate being stood up for Jason AGAIN..
Then tell him it's done qoth and ask sister if you can be her roomier until you sort out new housing
25. AITJ For Not Letting My Friend Pull Up Her Answer Sheet During Exam?
“I (16 F) just sat for my physics final this morning. I get there around 20 minutes before it starts, and I find a pretty good seat that’s not way up front but also not in the back (we don’t have an exam hall, we just pass in the classrooms) so the teacher can’t really see me well.
I usually sit in this spot because I tend to stress a lot if I’m way up front, but in the back, the teacher’s always peering over my shoulder.
My friend, let’s call her Riley (16 F), comes in 5 minutes before the teacher comes over and she is in DISTRESS. Apparently, she forgot to revise an entire chapter and only found out when she got to school.
She’s hysterically crying about how she’s gonna fail and all. Me and a couple of friends comfort her, trying to reassure her that she’ll be fine.
She takes one look at the classroom, sees where I’m sitting and practically demands me to switch seats with her so she can pull out her little answer sheet (we are not allowed those at all) and at least try to make up for it.
The spot she was supposed to sit in? Right in front of the teacher’s desk.
I immediately said no and just told her to hope for the best, but I am not going to risk making stupid mistakes for her to do something stupid when she was too busy partying to revise for the test. She tried to just sit in my seat until I gave up, but I just wouldn’t let it happen.
The exam ended up being all about that one chapter.
After the exam, I was waiting for my bus when she, her twin brother, and her best friend walked up to me. She screamed at me about how she was going to fail because she didn’t even finish all the questions, and if I wasn’t selfish and too scared of ruining my perfect streak of grades in physics she might have done well.
Most of my classmates think I should have given her up my seat, but the ones closest to me say otherwise. AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Not Funding My Daughter's College Education?
“I (40 m) and my wife (40 f) have a 17-year-old daughter who is in the stage in life where she needs to think about college.
My wife and I have agreed that we will pay for her two years in community college in our town and two years in university to finish her bachelor’s.
My daughter was on board with this until recently. She now wants to go for all 4 years in an ivy league school because that’s what her friends are doing apparently. We have plans of retiring early and an extra $50,000 or so is really going to push us back on that so I am not on board with that idea.
Also, it’s not like she has tons of funds saved to get an apartment elsewhere, so odds are we would have to pay for that as well. It is a firm no for me which has made my daughter incredibly upset with me.
She’s been guilting my wife and now she feels bad for her and thinks we should do it.
Apparently, she thinks she is going to miss out on a huge opportunity and will feel excluded from her friend group. Community college is also ‘lame’ in my daughter’s mind which is an incredibly privileged thing to say in my opinion.
Big financial decisions in our marriage require a yes from both of us and it has always been this way, but now my wife is upset with me too.
Now MIL is involved too and I’m the villain to everyone. We could technically afford it, but as I said before it would really push back our plans in life which I’m not okay with. And keep in mind, I’m not forbidding her from doing it, it just won’t be on my wife and I’s dime.
I’m completely indifferent to paying the same amount and her getting loans to cover the rest should she really want to go that badly.
I feel crazy for even posting this because I don’t see how I could be a jerk, but since everyone is mad at me it does make me wonder.”
23. AITJ For Changing My Mom's Funeral Arrangements?
“My mom passed away a few days ago.
She discussed her final arrangements with me (her daughter), her husband (my dad), and my aunt (mom’s sister). Less than 24 hours after her death, my aunt had funeral arrangements set to accommodate my uncle’s trip to the state. They picked the hours based on his limited schedule which occurred in the middle of the day.
I was not consulted and learned of the arrangements through an email from my uncle. My father was sitting in during the meeting with the funeral home but he said he didn’t want to create waves with my aunt. The service would be an hour and a half at the funeral home followed by a brief burial at the cemetery (mom was cremated, if that matters).
I wanted a church service.
I brought this up to my aunt and she declined because (1) it would inconvenience my uncle who had previous engagements and had a scheduled vacation, (2) because there was already a social media announcement with the time on the family’s page, and (3) because it would add an additional $2500 to the cost.
My dad wanted a church service. I tried to compromise by offering a service on the day which will accommodate my uncle and a church service the following day to accommodate me. Any additional cost would be paid by me. She declined and said that I can do what I want but she was going forward with her plan.
My dad and I went to the funeral home and changed the plan to what we felt was more respectful. It now is the compromise described above. My aunt sent me a text telling me that she was not supportive of the plans and that she was out of the whole thing. My uncle sent me an email saying that he has prior commitments and can no longer make either day.
It was a passive-aggressive email that I haven’t responded to.
My dad is happy with the change, as am I. However, I feel horrible about family being excluded and being furious about the change. Family that I’ve spoken with is supportive of the change and thinks it’s also appropriate and respectful. I need an outsider’s opinion.
AITJ?
ETA: my mom’s funeral wishes all varied between the three of us. She did not have anything written down and we were never all included in any large conversation together. My mom did not have a POA so legally my dad is the next of kin.”
22. WIBTJ If I Kick My Partner Out For Being Messy?
“My partner acts like a child when it comes to cleaning up after himself.
For instance, he got the last granola bar out of the box and left the empty box on the kitchen counter. Whenever he gets the last of something he will not throw the container/box away but instead leave it on the table. After he eats he will leave his dishes on the table and go do something else instead of putting it in the sink/dishwasher.
If he buys an item from the store he will unwrap it and leave the plastic wrappers all over the house/floor. Whenever he uses something that has a specific location such as a screwdriver from the toolbox he will put it back somewhere else like in the laundry room and when I go to look for it I cannot find it and he does not remember where he put it since he does not return stuff to its original location.
I try my best to keep the place clean and organized but he is not helping me.
I told him he needs to clean up after himself and he told me he did not notice that he was leaving trash everywhere and he would work on it. Well, he keeps leaving his trash around the house and I told him if it happens again he needs to move out.
He told me I am nitpicking him when nothing is that serious and he told me he will clean things up in his own time, not when I tell him to. He said I never give him the opportunity to do it since I am not patient enough. I told him dirty dishes belong in the sink and to stop leaving them on the kitchen table or in the living room since I was not his parent and I refuse to do basic cleanup for him.
He told me since I work from home the least I can do if I see trash is to throw it away since he actually has to go to work and has less time than me.”
21. AITJ For Standing Up To My Mother-In-Law For My Younger Sibling?
“I (25 F) have been married to my husband (27 M) for 3 years. Since 3 happens to be both of our lucky numbers we decided to do a family vacation.
We have been planning this for about 2 years as we decided to do a family cruise. I have a younger sibling (15 NB), they are my step sibling but we’re super close.
When we told my MIL that we were going to do a family vacation her first reaction was saying ‘But Ash isn’t coming right, they’ll ruin the whole trip’.
I stated that they were coming since it was a family trip. She rolled her eyes at my response but I didn’t care since she was not paying for this trip.
For context on why she said that my sibling would ruin the trip it’s due to the fact that they are partly blind and due to chronic illness and pain, they also use a cane to walk.
Anyway, we chose a 14-day cruise, and all of our siblings are going (1 F, 2 M, & 1 NB). My husband’s parents and my stepmom & dad are also going. We are currently on this cruise and it’s day 5. This morning when Ash got up they noticed they’re glasses were gone and I helped to look but we couldn’t find them.
We asked our steward if he had seen them and he said that he make sure he didn’t have them with his supplies and he’ll look for them when he cleans the room.
Due to this Ash needed a bit more help navigating around the ship, if someone was approaching then we’d let them know, just simple things like that.
Ash said that they were going to go to the room to see if their glasses were there. My MIL offered to walk them back to their room and she did so. When I came by to check on them, they were sobbing. I asked why and they stated that my MIL hadn’t helped guide them at all and then ended up bumping into a few people.
Then once they got to the room my MIL yelled at them and called them a ‘cripple’. I kept my cool at first and went to ask my MIL if that was true and she that it was. I asked why she would say that and she said she was ‘only stating the truth that they needed to hear’.
I was mad and yelled at her saying that was way out of line and upset them a lot. I also reminded her that she can’t control their eyesight or chronic illnesses. My MIL yelled at me as well and called me a jerk.
The reason I’m right is that my husband’s siblings (F 18 & both M 23) and my FIL are calling me a jerk.
So I am? I was only trying to stand up for my sibling.”
20. AITJ For Playing With A Coworker's Little Kid?
“I (M 27) work in a predominantly female workplace. I’m the only man in my team, which often makes me feel like an alien, as many of my co-workers tend to ignore me while talking about supposedly ‘womanly’ things (mostly children, family, and school events).
Ironically, while I don’t have my own children, I’ve four younger siblings whom I adore and I’m generally a big fan of spending time with kids. In my family, it’s practically a tradition that I’m always on babysitting duty during all events. For a while, I even considered becoming a kindergarten teacher but I dropped these plans as in my country it’s rather frowned upon for a man to work in early education.
Recently due to personal issues one of my co-workers, Maria started bringing to the office her seven-year-old daughter, Cathy. Our whole team is head-over-heels with the girl and I really can understand it as she’s really well-behaving and resolute for her age.
Yesterday Maria and most of our team were at a meeting in another part of the building while Cathy stayed in our office.
Maria didn’t tell anybody specifically to take care of her child, she just told Cathy to behave and wait for her. I was one of the few people who weren’t at the meeting and as I hadn’t had a big workload, I tried to keep the girl entertained. I think I didn’t do anything even remotely weird – I let her play with action figures decorating my desk, found her some paper and colorful pens to draw, and chatted with her a bit about neutral things like food, her dog, and school.
I wasn’t even alone with the girl as a few of my co-workers were also in the same room. Cathy didn’t look scared or uncomfortable by any means, she was cheerful and talkative and I think she enjoyed having someone else than her mum to pay attention to her.
When Maria returned from the meeting she gave me a stink eye and rushed to take Cathy from my desk where she was drawing.
When she was out of earshot, Maria told me it was totally inappropriate and creepy for me as a man to play with a young girl. A few of her colleagues supported her, too, making me look like a creep.
I was shocked and hurt. I’d never do anything to any child, let alone one I see most of the days.
I never did or said anything which would suggest I may be dangerous. I don’t even look intimidating, or at least I don’t think so. Also, it’s not like I’m the first person interacting with Cathy, as our other co-workers were playing and chatting with her before me. I told Maria as much but she still thinks that as a male I should keep away from other people’s children.
I think it’s unfair to treat me like a creep simply because I’m a man. I really don’t know what I did wrong if anything. However, if I crossed the line, I’m ready to apologize. AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Embarrassing My Mom To Her Date By Dropping My Siblings Off?
“For my whole life I (20) have always been the live-in babysitter for my mom, I thought that once I moved out I would no longer have to babysit my siblings (6, 8, 10) anymore but boy was I wrong.
As soon as I turned 18 I got married and moved out (I know you all are gotta judge me for that but I’m happy with my husband).
My husband doesn’t mind having my younger siblings over as he loves children but it’s gotten absolutely ridiculous, my mom doesn’t even ask me before she drops off my siblings she will literally just drop my siblings off at my door and leave, she even done it at our date nights.
It’s unfair to me and my husband even though my husband has been accepting this with grace and is really good with my sibling, I’m actually pregnant myself and have been feeling the typical pregnancy symptoms so my husband has been picking up more of the load of watching them when they are over.
I have told my mom many times to stop doing this as my husband and I have a life of our own and don’t want to be watching your children all the time, and at least let us know before dropping them off.
Recently my mom did this again and I wasn’t having it, I called my mom after she dropped my siblings off and found out where she went which was on a date at a restaurant, and went there with my siblings, I found where my mom was seated went up to her with my siblings following me and said hey mom I have a few errands to run so I decided to dropped them off with you and left while my mom was in the middle of objecting.
My mom was mad and rang my phone down, I didn’t answer until the next day. When I did I got an ear full with her telling me that she raised me and went through months of pregnancy the least I and do is watch my sibling when she needs time off.
I told her that she didn’t ask me to watch them and that I can not accept her dropping them off at my place without even asking me if I’m even available to watch them.
She said that we are family and that I’m supposed to look after them because I’m their older sister and that I embarrassed her in front of a guy she really liked.
My husband does feel bad about what I did and feels like there were better ways to deal with my mom than the way I did.
Do you all think I was in the wrong here?”
18. AITJ For Stopping Talking To My Coworkers?
“So I (M 23) work at a restaurant with a few other people my age. In the beginning, everything seemed fine. When business was slow, we would often chat and just have fun. We also hung out late at bars after closing the restaurant.
About one month ago, I got a call from my boss saying that she heard from 3 of my co-workers that I talk way too much and she asked me if I could maybe tone it down a little.
I asked if I had done anything inappropriate but my boss reassured me that I only didn’t know when to shut up and people found that extremely annoying. She wouldn’t tell me who said it to prevent drama at work.
I was pretty hurt by this information as I was just being myself and I never felt like I did anything bad.
I spent the next couple of days sulking a bit as I really liked my co-workers. The next workday I decided that I wouldn’t talk to them anymore aside from work-related topics. Since then I have stopped hanging out with them and I usually reply with dry answers and keep to myself at work.
I figured that I didn’t want to annoy them any further.
Yesterday I got another call from my boss saying that my co-workers had complained about me being awkward and unavailable when they wanted to chat with me. They told my boss that it makes them feel weird and my boss told me to stop being so emotional about what she told me a month ago.
She said that my actions are immature and I only make everything about myself.
I asked my sister (F 20) if I was being unreasonable and she told me that I was being really rude to the people at my work and that I should talk but only moderately.
I don’t know what to think anymore.
I just wanted to have a good time but it feels like all my attempts to make everything easy for the people around me have failed. I only want to make the people around me happy.
Was it out of line to stop talking to my co-workers? Was I out of line?”
17. AITJ For Telling My Coworker I'm Not On Her Side For Treating Our Homeless Coworker Badly?
“I work at a gas station and have only worked there for a few weeks.
My coworker, we’ll call her Brittany (30s, F). She hates one of my other coworkers, we’ll call him Jim (40s, M) who is homeless and lives in his car.
Recently Brittany flipped out on Jim while he was hanging out in the gas station waiting for his phone to charge. He’s done this for as long as he’s been homeless and has express permission from our boss to do so.
She called the cops on him and it turned into a big thing. Whatever.
Tonight was my first time working with Brittany, and I was her relief so she could go home. Except she was still scheduled for another half an hour, and I can’t ring up customers for another half hour because the system resets and I have to start over if I take customers.
I tried to explain that to her, but she insisted that I open a till and relieve her so she wouldn’t have to work with Jim who was scheduled at the same time I was.
Again, I tried to explain to her that I am not supposed to, but she kept complaining about working with Jim.
I said that she was an adult and that sometimes she’ll have to work with people she doesn’t like. I get that she has a problem with Jim, but I am not the one to complain to. I’m not on her side and fully believe that she’s the bad guy in this situation because she hates homeless people and treats Jim like crap because he lives in his car and loiters in the store to charge his phone.
She huffed and started counting her till down and told me I was a selfish jerk because I wouldn’t sympathize with her. So I’m wondering if I’m the jerk for calling her out and not taking her side.”
16. AITJ For Messing Up My Husband's Office Walls?
“My husband lives in his office. He’s in there more than any other thing around the house.
My husband likes arts and crafts and ultimately DIY things. But the issue is, he does MESSY things with the kids, and I’m ALWAYS the one to clean up the stains.
For example, my husband likes painting, and the kids like painting too, so instead of doing these outside, or none messy things, he does the most messy things and doesn’t clean it.
But the WORST thing about this is he does this in all the places I stay in the most on the house, for example, the kitchen, I own a bakery down the street, and I bake lots of cakes before I use anything in the bakery, I don’t like baking cakes with gross paint stains all over my counter, kitchen walls, etc, because he leaves it and I won’t be able to get it out.
I spend hours in that kitchen and I would like for it to be treated like so.
I’ve had at least 10 talks with him about this, I’ve explained, and I’ve given him multiple different ideas to still do what he wants to do in different sceneries, just stay out of my area.
I would be fine if he actually made an effort to clean it, but he doesn’t.
Every time the conversation is like me talking to a wall, he’ll say ‘Okay okay I won’t do it again’. By next week I’m trying to get more stains out of the table, cabinets, backboards, etc.
My last straw was me sitting him down for the 11th time and him saying that I was being dramatic and the kitchen is a normal place to do arts and crafts and it’s like I don’t want our kids to have fun.
Why can’t he just respect where I spend so much time?
I’ve never let the kids go in and mess up his space, or draw on his desk, I don’t even let them use his computer for games or anything!
So, I have this white film that mimics his office wall, that we put on before and had extras, I used it while he was at work, and I put it up on his wall so that the other one didn’t actually get dirty and it checked out.
I can admit that this wasn’t the most mature thing to do, but honestly, I went the mature route 11 times.
The ‘wall’ was written on, and pretty much looked just like the back of my kitchen walls, table, etc.
He came home and he was MAD and come to yell at me about what we did to his office.
I played innocent and said that we were just ‘doing some arts and crafts’ he was mad and went on a rant about how important his office is, that’s his job, and he can’t have little kid marks all over the place. He said that I was an immature jerk for doing what I did, and now he’s going to have to pay to get it fixed.
I walked into his office and took down the paper I had in place, showing his clean wall. I told him that he didn’t like having his stuff disrespected so don’t do it to mine.
He’s now doing it outside but hasn’t even looked my way since I told my mom and she agreed with him saying it was innocent and cute for them to share these moments together.”
15. AITJ For Not Telling My Brother And Friend The Truth About Working The Overnight Shift?
“I (25 M) moved out to the West six years ago along with a company that paid for my relocation and training. When I first moved out I worked the day shift however I quickly accepted an offer to work nights for more money. The extra money went a long way as I was able to afford the purchase of a car with only 20K KMs on it.
When it comes to living arrangements I share my apartment with my partner of three years. I can confidently state that things are going very well. There however is one downside, this is that overnight work is a misery of its own.
My problems started with both my mother and my friend Anthony’s over-employment. Two months ago my brother William (25 M) and Anthony (24 M) moved out west to follow in my footsteps.
The first month was fine but by this month they realized that they needed more work hours as they could not afford things. To remedy this they started hunting for better jobs but are struggling. This is when out of ignorance whether willful or not our mothers started telling them to look for overnight work.
The reason behind this is that they told them how I make good money and live quite well on my own. This would be fine if they knew what it really meant to work night shifts.
This however was not the case as I never really told anyone the true costs of it. My first three months were pure misery and the only reason I was only able to surpass it was thanks to the help of both a psychologist and dietitian.
I kept this hidden from everyone because I knew if I told anyone it would cause even more problems for me.
When I heard from Anthony about how he and William were looking for overnight work this week I was mortified. To stop them from repeating my mistakes I had them over for dinner two weeks ago.
During this dinner, I told them the truth about what they were signing up for and how it is not too late to change course. After hearing what I had to say they changed their minds and abandoned the idea of working nights. This did not come without consequences as their finances really fell apart and our parents had to step in.
Two days ago things came to a head when our mothers asked them both why they haven’t found any night shifts. This was when they talked about the dinner and how I dissuaded them from it. Our mothers were not happy and I got angry calls from both accusing me of sabotaging them. I tried to reason with them but they wouldn’t listen and thought I was lying.
This led to an argument before I told them I was done with them and hung up.”
14. AITJ For Refusing To Swap Shifts With A Coworker?
“I work retail so schedules vary a lot. I’m lucky because I work earlier than other people. I typically start anywhere from 4 am-8 am, they have me work those hours because everyone else is either in school, has kids that go to school, or just doesn’t want to get up that early.
Rarely, maybe once or twice a month I have to work til 8 or 9 at night.
I have a coworker ‘Heidi’. Heidi has 2 or 3 kids. She uses them as an excuse ALL. THE. TIME. She comes in late, leaves early, gets all holidays, and every other weekend off because she has kids. Everyone else only gets one weekend day off per month.
It sucks and it’s annoying but nothing I can do.
Anyway, I guess her kid is in some extracurricular. Heidi asked me to flip with her last week Monday my 7-3 for her 10-6. I did it and intended to only do it once to be nice. Then she wanted to flip our shifts this Wednesday.
My 6-2 for her 12-8. I said, ‘Well then can we swap Friday too so I can still have an early day?’ She said she couldn’t, so I said no.
She asked a few more times and I still said no. She said, ‘Well you and Manager are the only ones that work early Wednesday.’ I just said ok and walked away.
Today another coworker said something to me about helping Heidi and that she’d do it if she could. I said, ‘Well why should I keep giving up my good shifts for her?’ She said, ‘She has kids, we should want to help our coworkers out, and it’s not like you have kids or anything so what’s the big deal?’
I said, ‘I like getting off early too. It’s not my fault Heidi has kids’.
She said, ‘It just makes me feel bad, society has gotten so selfish when it comes to helping parents, you could do something but just don’t want to. That’s kinda mean’.
I really feel like the more I switch with Heidi the more she’ll expect it.
I don’t have kids because I like my freedom but I don’t think that means being obligated to work the crappy hours because parents need to do something.
AITJ for refusing to switch?”
13. AITJ For Not Wanting My Son To Keep The Guinea Pig From My Sister?
“My son is autistic, nonverbal, and apathetic. I love my son but he is very dependent and I worry I may spend my whole life as a caregiver to him.
He is 12 years old and has not improved much between the ages of 7 to now. Now, my sister is very in denial about my son. He is very well-behaved when I take him out, which is great. However, it makes her doubt his disabilities. She writes everything off as ‘bad parenting’ and ‘lack of discipline’.
Sometimes I catch her withholding items while repeating what the item is, like a toy, until he says the word – however, he never does and always intervenes. She tells me that I need to allow him to learn, despite my taking him to multiple behavioral therapy sessions a week.
So his birthday was last week.
We got him a few toys, and a brand-new tablet, my sister on the other hand got him a pet guinea pig. She told me it would teach him responsibility – however, while I love my son, he has issues with empathy and understanding and tends to have meltdowns. He has never hurt an animal or mistreated one, however, we have never had one for this very reason.
I do not wish to find out if he is able to understand and care for an animal because no animal deserves to get hurt if he cant. I explained this to her and she got very hostile, saying I never let my son have or do anything and me coddling him is why he’s an idiot.
I couldn’t believe it. I told her to leave immediately, and she did. She hugged my son and told him one day she was going to help him away from me, and left.
After a back-and-forth over text, she agreed to take the guinea pig back if I dropped it off at her house. After I did so our mom called me freaking out on me for ‘dumping’ the guinea pig on my sister, and how my son deserved it.
She then went on to say the same things my sister did, about me limiting my son and how he must hate me. My sister then sent me a text outlining everything she needs for this guinea pig including a ‘$20 rehoming fee’. I told her I was not ‘rehoming it’ as my home was never its home.
I told her if it was that big of a deal for her I will take the guinea pig back and keep it in the garage until I could find someone on social media to actually rehome it to – where she berated me for ‘finally changing my mind’ and that she knew that my son could handle it after all.
She insisted I pay her $50 for all the items for the guinea pig she bought, and then I may have it back. My mom and sister continue to harass me for the money calling me a jerk and a horrible mother. Initially, I said no because I didn’t think I should repay it, but now I’m withholding the money because I simply do not have it.
I’m writing this because I’m a single mom, he is my only child. Everyone around me seems to be blaming him for ‘limiting’ him, but am I the jerk for not keeping the guinea pig or paying my sister ‘back’ for the guinea pig’s cage, food, etc.?
Edit dust to clarify; My mother does help pay for certain therapies insurance does not cover – Despite backing up my sister when she claims my child is completely fine.
I’m not sure if it is to clear her conscience, or what – but it is part of the reason why I have not distanced myself from them, I cannot afford to lose her support, and I couldn’t bear being the reason my son is set back.”
Block sister and tell mom that the reason you won't have the animal Is because IF son hurt/killed the animal you KNOW that sister would have a full on crap fit at you and you don't want to put that on son or yourself either....
Please look into charities that may help you with funding f9r son for therapies and that way you can cut mom off too then she hasn't got a hold on you.. have you thought about taking mom to an appointment with you and son maybe she needs to hear sons diagnosis FROM A PROFESSIONAL
12. AITJ For Obligating My Daughters To Find A Replacement Babysitter For Their Siblings?
“My wife and I have six kids ranging from ages 4-17.
The oldest two are 17F and 15F. My wife works 9-6, I work from home 9-5. We’ve previously had a babysitter/nanny but after the last one left we asked the girls if they’d want to do it and earn extra money. They said yes so we drew up rules.
They get paid $50 a day between them to babysit M-F 2:30-5.
They do not both need to be there, as long as one of them is there. For example, on Thursdays, it’s always just 17F because 15F has an after-school activity. On other days one of them might go upstairs at 3:30 because of homework or just ‘not feeling it’ so that day one would earn $10 and the other $40.
We just pay both of them together each Friday night and they’re very good about figuring out the weekly split and coverage each week. They also have their own sort of rules within our rules like if you bail last minute twice in the same week you forfeit $10 to the other person that kind of thing.
That’s all between the two of them though.
Our rule is that if they give us a week’s notice or have some kind of emergency/unpredictable like if 17F wakes up sick on Thursday, they don’t get paid for that day but there’s no other penalty. We want them to be able to live their lives.
We’ve also been pretty generous with our definition of emergency in my opinion.
However, there’s an additional clause that says basically if it’s not an emergency and they don’t give notice, either they have to find someone else to cover like a friend or a cousin or someone that’s babysat for us in the past, or they forfeit $50 from that week.
In other words, if they babysat M-Th but bailed without notice/emergency on Friday, they would only make $150 that week. They’ve definitely pushed the limits of ‘a week’s notice’ (e.g., letting us know on Thursday they’re both unavailable on Monday) but officially this clause hasn’t kicked in yet.
But last night it finally did, they said they both had tickets to a drama club event tomorrow and will be out from 3 to later at night with a few of their mutual friends.
I said that’s fine can you get coverage and they said oh cousin can’t so oh well, and I said okay that’s fine if you don’t want to ask around more that’s $50 but it’s fine.
They got upset and said that wasn’t fair. My wife says I should give them a mulligan because this is the first time the rule has kicked in.
I feel like the mulligans have already been given, and also our ‘absence’ policy is far far more generous than any job you’d find elsewhere.
And while I think it’s great for them to bond with their siblings and it’s money well spent, the truth is that if they were just people we were paying $20/hour to babysit, I’d be saying that they needed to get off their phones, clean up after themselves, be less reliant on screens, etc.”
11. AITJ For Not Wanting My Husband's Widower Father To Live With Us?
“My MIL unexpectedly passed away about 6 months ago. It was very hard on my husband and his family, especially my FIL.
I lost both my parents when I was in my 20s so I know how hard it can be and how difficult and different the grieving process can be for people. I tried to be there for my husband and his family in every way I could and my husband told me numerous times how much he appreciated how much I took on while he was at his lowest.
Before my husband and I married, I made it very clear that I did not want extended family living with us. When my mom died, my dad moved in with my sister and her husband and it was an absolute disaster and nearly ended my sister’s marriage. I didn’t want us to find ourselves in a similar situation.
He agreed completely at the time.
Well, a couple of months ago FIL decided to sell his house because he says he can’t live there without his wife. He is pursuing their retirement dream of remodeling their lake property to live there permanently. However, it sold faster than he expected and he needed a place to stay between the closing and when the remodeling would be done.
My husband asked if he could stay with us short-term, just until the remodeling was done. The expected timeframe for him to stay with us was 6-8 weeks.
I reminded him about our agreement, but he said this was short-term with a clear end date and FIL definitely doesn’t want to live with us, he just needs a couple of months.
I reluctantly agreed but made it clear that I was not going to treat FIL like a guest and he’s on his own. My husband agreed. FIL has been staying with us for about 3 weeks now.
I work from home so I’m in my home office every day. I made it clear to FIL that I am working during the day and I’m not to be bothered. However, to keep himself busy he started cooking meals every day.
I would come out of my office around lunch and he’d have a whole spread ready for us. I’m a fairly picky eater and I prefer to eat a quick lunch and return to work so I told him that he didn’t need to bother with that sort of thing and he stopped.
I’ve also been retreating back into my office after dinner because I have been feeling smothered by having FIL there.
I feel like I can’t relax in the evening and that I always have to be ‘on’ if that makes sense. I’m an introvert and I need that time to unwind and recharge.
Last weekend, FIL unexpectedly moved all of his stuff out. He told my husband that he didn’t want to be a burden on us anymore and that he would be staying in a motel until his house is ready since it was just a few more weeks.
After he left my husband freaked out on me. He told me that FIL told him that I had made it very clear by my actions that I didn’t want him here and that he didn’t want to drive a wedge between us, so the easiest thing is to remove himself. He said ‘I hope you’re happy now, you got what you wanted’ and I told him that was unfair because I never told FIL to leave.
He’s now barely speaking to me.”
10. AITJ For Not Giving My Roommate Another Ice Cream?
“My (29 F) neighbor’s daughter (13), I’ll call her Taylor, likes to come downstairs to ask for snacks and food sometimes after school or whatever.
I generally have no problem giving Taylor snacks and food when she asks, if I have it that is.
So, last night Taylor came and asked for ice cream. My roommate opened the door for her and, I guess Taylor told her that I told her she can have an ice cream. I was in my room cleaning up (which is right off the kitchen) when I heard the freezer open so I went out in the kitchen cause I had a feeling… my roommate was giving her one of my Magnum double-dipped caramel mini ice creams and I kinda yelled at both of them.
I told Taylor I’m not trying to be mean or rude but I bought those for a special treat for me and they weren’t cheap so no she can’t have one.
My roommate yelled at me and asked if she can at least have one and I said yea I guess… She gave the ice cream she asked for herself and gave it to Taylor, which is fine, whatever, if she wanted to give away the one I gave to her go for it but now she can’t have another one.
Taylor, even tho she got what she wanted, decided to go and tell her mom that I yelled at her for no reason. Her mother (53 F), let’s call her Tina, came downstairs to start yelling at me saying stuff like ‘I thought you were on a food budget why are you buying expensive ice cream when you can’t afford it’ and basically berating me for telling Taylor no. And yes food prices went up and I normally am on a budget but I had a little extra after buying my basics and I have been seeing a lot of advertisements for Magnum ice cream which I’ve only really had one other time in my life so forgive me for splurging.
I told Tina that I didn’t mean to yell or be mean and that I normally have no problem giving Taylor snacks and even plates of food when her parents aren’t home (which is A LOT the father works all day and the mother, I don’t know what she does but she’s almost never home nor does she cook for her family) so am I the jerk for yelling at this kid?
I don’t think I am but my roommate thinks I overreacted.”
9. AITJ For Submitting A Report About My Coworker Playing Music While On A Meeting?
“I (28 f) started working for a new company in June of 2021. It was started by a group of 5 founders, and their first employee, who we’ll call ‘Paul’ still works for the company as their most senior employee. Most of us work from home, and Paul runs most of the full team meetings. He also works from his home.
The company has a rule that (within reason) there cannot be background noise when you are in a meeting and have a live microphone. This includes music. If you have anything playing it is expected that you mute the music before turning your mic on.
Several weeks ago I forgot to do this and ended up getting a rude email from one of the founders, saying that I was not allowed to have music on when my mic was on and that it was a distraction and not to do it again.
It wasn’t loud or anything, just playing in the background.
Last Thursday we had our full team meeting. Paul was talking at the beginning of it and in the background, you could hear piano music. In the beginning, he explained his daughter had to reschedule her piano lesson and he apologized for the noise. It did end after 20 or so minutes of the meeting, but it was still very distracting.
I submitted a report about it, citing company policy.
Today I signed on to the meeting and he was very short to me and rude, and in our meeting today he said that the company had updated their rules and that we should remember that a lot of them said ‘within reason’.
I asked my friends and fiancé what they thought.
My fiancé agreed Paul should not be allowed an exception to the rules but several of my friends think I was unreasonable and shouldn’t have said anything, although it was divided.
Now I’m wondering if I was wrong, and shouldn’t have said anything.
AITJ for reporting him?”
8. AITJ For Wanting To Sabotage My Roommate's Relationships For My Sleep?
“I rent an apartment with a friend. In the last few months I’ve been working 56-80 hours a week at an adult foster care home, so often the only time I’m home is between 9 pm and 8 am. Im often burned out from 12-hour shifts. My roommate has a real estate photography business, which is currently in the slow season.
He also works part-time at a brewery and often goes to bars after. We’re both in our early 30s.
Last weekend I was woken up at 3 am by the sound of talking and laughing. I was out of water so I went to the kitchen to fill my cup. The girl he brought home immediately shouted ‘Woah, look at this BEAST!’ (I’m 6’9″ and about 320 lbs).
I found this pretty disrespectful. She was sitting on our kitchen counter sipping a drink. She asked me how I was, and I said, ‘Thirsty, but apparently not as thirsty as my roommate’. I reminded my roommate that I work at 8 am, and went back to my room. The girl then yells at me to cheer her before I go to bed. They were loud in their bedroom until about 5 am.
Next time I saw my roomie I mentioned that I found both of their actions quite rude and reminded him that when we first moved in he wanted me to agree that if one of us worked in the morning the other would not bring guests over. This was 100% a rule he wanted. He got angry and said, ‘Well I guess I’m not allowed to have anyone over ever!’ I said that’s not what I said, and that he can have whoever he wanted over as long as they were respectful of me and didn’t wake me up.
Fast-forward to last night. I’m again woken up at 3 am by him and someone (not sure if it’s the same girl) stumbling in. I sent him a message that they woke me up and I can hear them talking and that I again work in the morning. He said ‘Sorry bud. We just talking.’ And I said I obviously know because I can hear them.
They talk and were noisy until 6 am. I couldn’t sleep so I just turned my TV up and cleaned my room.
To be honest I had to restrain myself in all of these encounters from giving him an all-out ‘why you suck’ speech pointing out how sad it is he can only get girls to sleep with him if they’re wasted. I’m thinking of planting fart machines in his room for the next time he brings someone back and wakes me up.
Maybe even a backup one in case he quickly finds it. AITJ for wanting my proverbial pound of flesh?”
7. AITJ For Announcing My Engagement When My Sister's Wedding Is Coming Up?
“I (33 f) just got engaged to Eric (35 m) this last Tuesday. My sister Ann (30 f) and her fiancé Dean (35 m) are getting married this Saturday. We have an older brother named Luke (37 m).
I told everyone in a mass text, including Ann, that Eric proposed to me at the restaurant we went to on our first date.
I noticed everyone except Ann responded right away. She answered the next day with congratulations. She said she was busy putting together final arrangements for her wedding. Okay, no big deal.
I confirmed that I would be in town this Wednesday (I live two states over). However, right after that message, she sent me another one asking that I not talk about my engagement.
I asked why, and she said she’s spent over a year stressing over the wedding and hadn’t seen our family in that time, so she wants it to be about her and Dean. She asked that we wait until the day after to discuss my engagement.
I said that’s ridiculous and that we can talk about both, plus people will be asking me about my engagement, anyway, as they already know.
She said she expects that, but then the conversation needs to go to her because everyone is coming to celebrate her and Dean, not Eric and me. But I haven’t seen our family (parents and older brother) in the same amount of time, and I want to use this time to talk about my engagement, my ring, and our own wedding plans.
I’m excited and this is the only chance I’ll get to do it.
Ann told me it’s not about me, and ‘reminded me’ that with her rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, and girl get-togethers (her bachelorette, nail appointments, etc.), she wants to talk about just her wedding and everything she’s been doing. I told her not everything is about her, and I should be allowed to talk about my engagement, too.
I said I want her to help me plan mine since she’s just done it, and we could use this time for her to show me how to plan a wedding, but she said no, and that it’s not about me.
Then our brother Luke texted me and told me I was being ridiculous because I’d been married before.
However, I was 20 and did it at the courthouse. I married a military guy, and we divorced soon after, so I don’t think that should matter since I didn’t even get a real proposal or ring. We just decided to do it and my band was sterling silver with no stones.
I said Ann was being a bridezilla thinking everything is about her, but he said she has a right to want the week of her wedding to be about her.
I’m not saying the wedding day can’t be about her, but she doesn’t own the days leading up to it. I want to show off my ring and talk about my wedding. She hasn’t had the chance to show everyone her ring in person, either because our family is spread out, but I think we can do that together.
Eric agrees that Ann is being self-centered, but Luke thinks I’m trying to steal the spotlight and let Ann have her moment. AITJ? I don’t see why we can’t do everything together.”
6. AITJ For Not Going To My Son's Graduation Ceremony?
“My (38 M) son (19 M) recently had his graduation ceremony. I’m proud of him since he’s the first person in the family to graduate high school, both on my side of the family, and his mother’s.
A few years ago my son had a bit of a religious phase. He started going to this weekly youth group thing with his friends at this church at the time and picked up some Christian beliefs for a bit.
His mother and I didn’t really ‘approve’ of it since we’re both non-religious, but we didn’t really mind him exploring that route so long as he didn’t start pushing it on us.
As far as I know, he fell off with that phase, but he got to know this pastor there (we’ll call him John) that he still sees at the said group.
My son, without telling me he’d do so, invited him to come to the ceremony and I really don’t know what to think.
I don’t really have too much of a good relationship with religious people, my son having that religious phase didn’t sit the best with me since I used to attend a Narcotics Anonymous group in the past and the entire religious aspect of it turned me away before I got help elsewhere.
I didn’t want to cause issues, so I sat him down and told him that with his ceremony it would either be me or John attending and not both. He asked why I couldn’t attend if John did, and I tried my best to express how uncomfortable I was being around someone as religious as him.
He said he couldn’t uninvite John, and that’s when I told him I wouldn’t be attending since I didn’t want to cause trouble.
I feel bad for not being there on his big day, but I really didn’t want to be in an uncomfortable position, or even worse, have that cause any trouble at the ceremony.
I’m trying to show him how proud I am of him, but since the ceremony, nothing seems to have landed and he’s been feeling more distant than usual. AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Asking My Sister-in-Law Why She Lets Her Kids Call Her Friend "Daddy"?
“So she is technically not my sister-in-law as she and my brother were never married and are no longer together but I didn’t know house else to put it.
So we will call my sister-in-law Ellie.
Ellie has 2 kids to my brother twins Caleb (5) and Claire (5)
My brother has a lot of issues. He struggles with addiction and I admit he hasn’t been a good father for most of the kids’ lives.
But this is because of his addiction. If he was sober I know he be a good dad. He had done some trashy things in the past to Ellie but he was always under the influence and it wasn’t the real him doing it.
Now we are trying to get him to help. But it is harder said than done.
A huge issue is last year Ellie filed to have his parental rights terminated and it was granted.
Now Ellie won’t allow my brother around the kids.
She allows us to see them but we are not allowed to mention my brother.
I found out that Ellie has a friend named Blake and Claire calls him Daddy.
Caleb is deaf so he doesn’t speak so I’m not sure about him.
Now I know there is nothing going on between Ellie and Blake as Blake is gay. But from what I heard Blake is pretty involved with the kids.
I found out that Ellie was ok and allowed them to call him Daddy.
I called and ask why she was letting them do this explaining how it wasn’t fair to my brother.
She responded, ‘They call him Daddy because he is Daddy’. She went in to a rant about how Blake helped her out during her pregnancy and how he pretty much help her raise them She claims that Claire started calling him Daddy a year ago and they just never corrected her.
After that Blake and Ellie agreed that Blake would take on the father role.
I lost it telling her that she can’t do that. They already have a father and she can’t replace him. Just because he going through a hard time.
She then when on a rant about how even before his rights were terminated he wanted nothing to do with the kids.
She just doesn’t get that the substances are doing this to him and he needs help. Once he gets help he be better.
AITJ for calling my SIL out on letting her kids call her friend Daddy?
EDIT: My brother was never physically abusive. Emotional maybe but he never beat Ellie. Ellie said this herself.”
4. AITJ For Suddenly Coming To My Ex's House?
“I and my ex split when our daughter (13) was about two, and have always had split custody, 50/50. My ex remarried when our daughter was five, and now has two younger kids. Her husband also has a son our daughter’s age.
I pay for a phone for her so she can keep in contact with both of us, she’s smart with it and it’s never been an issue before.
When she’s at her mom’s she texts me quite a bit, she has cats here she wants to be updated on mostly.
Anyway, I dropped her off at school on Monday, and her mom picked her up like usual. She texted me on and off through school, and once more when she was picked up, but I didn’t hear from her again that day.
It was strange, she always messages me before bed – but I brushed it off, she’s growing up. She’ll stop texting me goodnight one day.
On Tuesday no messages again, so I shoot a text to her mom, who doesn’t reply. After school, I finally get a text from my daughter, which literally reads, ‘Daddy help’.
That’s it, no response after I messaged her back. Obviously, I’m thinking a hundred and one things.
I text her mom and call her, no reply. So I hop in my car and drive over, and… she’s fine. Ish. She sees me, comes bolting out, and asks if I can bring her home.
I have a lot of questions, but apparently so does her stepdad.
He comes storming out, asks what I think I’m doing, etc. It’s their week, I shouldn’t be picking her up yet.
I explain my issue, and he gets all big guy and yells at my daughter for scaring me, which was not taken lightly by me.
Anyway, turns out they were on an ‘electronics detox’ and all electronics have been locked away.
My daughter got upset on Monday night and her stepbrother made fun of her, which continued through to the next day at school. She snuck onto her phone when she got home to text me, but got caught and had it locked away further.
Her mom got home a few minutes after the initial argument, and I told her she shouldn’t be doing something like this with my daughter without my approval. That phone is my property, and I say she can use it to contact me if need be.
Lock it up during the day if you must, but let her say goodnight at least.
She apologized for that but stuck by her husband in the fact that I shouldn’t have just shown up.
I told her I texted her, she said her phone was also in lock up, so I should have tried the house phone or her work phone.
Personally, I think calling her place of work to discuss our kid is absurd, and I don’t have their house’s phone number.
I took my daughter home as she didn’t want to stay, but it’s been tense. Obviously, they aren’t communicating because they’re still on detox, but my parents have since agreed with her, claiming that she’s the other parent, and if anything happened to her I would have been told, I need to trust her judgment, etc.
Which I get, but she wasn’t responding, either.
So, AITJ? Did I overreact?”
3. AITJ For Selling A Family Heirloom And Keeping The Profit To Myself?
“My mother ‘S’ retired a couple of years ago, and has taken up flipping things on eBay or DePop as a hobby.
She does not do this with the intent to hit it big, she just enjoys the hunt and running into cool pieces. Usually, she finds these things in estate sales, thrift stores, etc. If she sees something she thinks I will like she will send it to me.
A month or so ago, she found a beautiful space-age style lamp at an estate sale in a rural part of the state she lives in.
She paid something like 200 dollars for it and sent a picture of it to me as she often does. She is an avid viewer of antique roadshows and had a hunch that it was worth some money. The lamp fits the mid-century modern style of my apartment, and she brought it to me when she visited my city the following week.
Not a week later, a post appeared on the social media page my mom found the estate sale through the family that hosted the estate sale. It was quite a sad post mentioning that the lamp was an heirloom, and had been accidentally sold by the contractor they used to run the sale. They offered a cash reward for the return of the lamp.
Naturally, after seeing this post we did some research and found out that the lamp was worth several thousand dollars.
Although I did love the lamp, I have a good amount of car debt that the sale would essentially clear out. After some deliberation, I and my mom decided to sell it, and we split the profits in a way we found equitable.
Soon after the sale, my mother was messaged on social media by someone accusing her of being the one who bought the lamp. My mom is relatively unique looking so we figured they had scanned the social media group for someone matching her description. The message was kind but pleading. We have not responded.
The message the family sent went like this, in a nutshell:
‘We believe it was you who bought our lamp. We would appreciate opening a conversation about returning the lamp for our discussed reward. We hope you have not decided to sell the lamp, but if you already have we do feel entitled to some of the money so we can hopefully buy it back.’
AITJ for keeping the lamp profits?”
2. AITJ For Only Serving Plant-Based Food On Christmas?
“I’m a born and raised vegetarian. I’ve never eaten meat, let alone learned to prepare it.
My husband and I are newly married, and recently bought our first apartment. It’s small, but it’s ours, and it’s across the road from his place of work, which was a bonus since he is often on call.
Per his family tradition, the most recently wed couple hosts Christmas dinner. I initially tried to offer it to my SIL, as she had wanted to host the year previously, but BIL married 2 months after her before Christmas, so she never got the opportunity. Additionally, we are a vegetarian home, and our 1 bedroom apartment isn’t ideal for hosting.
While my SIL was thrilled the rest of the family insisted that we had to host. I was told that as long as I got food for everyone that it would be fine.
Here’s where I might be the jerk. I misunderstood. I thought this meant as long as I had enough food, and made sure to accommodate food allergies that they would be happy.
On Christmas Day my husband had work until 4 pm, so I was left preparing dinner alone, but I still put together a feast, including a plant-based roast. People started coming over and even commented on how delicious everything smelled.
Once my husband arrived he greeted the family and joined me in the kitchen for finishing touches and taking everything to the table.
The family began to gather, and a few people commented on how good everything looked until FIL asked ‘Where’s the ham?’ My husband explained that I wasn’t comfortable making meat, especially ham since undercooked pork can be especially dangerous, and that instead we had a plant-based roast alternative, and FIL proceeded to make remarks about how they ‘drove an hour for plants’.
After even the people who made positive comments changed their tune, talking about how it was missing something, etc. At one point MIL said that she wished they’d had SIL host.
My husband snapped and told them to stop disrespecting the meal, and myself since I worked hard on it. MIL argued back that I disrespected them by not respecting their dietary choices, and that she believed she was clear when she told me to prepare food for everyone.
My husband told her that if she was going to continue to be disrespectful that she could leave.
Shortly after everyone left, but my husband has been getting texts since about how my selfishness ruined Christmas, possibly the last FIL would be around for. I feel horrible that he’s in the middle of all this.
This was my mistake but at the same time, I was clear we are vegetarian and that I didn’t even want to host.
I guess I’m looking for an outside perspective.
Am I the jerk?”
1. AITJ For Thinking That Taking My Brother To Court Is Too Much?
“My brother got married. At the wedding, everyone over the drinking age was offered 1 glass of wine at dinner and 3 drink tickets for the bar. Liquor couldn’t be ordered without a ticket, no exceptions.
(Non-liquor drinks were also free but didn’t need tickets).
My brother and cousin of the bride didn’t like that they were cut off from drinking when they ran out of tickets and couldn’t find anyone to give them one of their tickets. Unknown to us my brother went to a nearby store to get more booze for them and brought it back to the hall.
They drank quite a lot from our understanding. One of the employees made them go outside and then came in to tell someone what happened.
My brother and the cousin broke two of the decorative windows at the front over it and no one could find them because they wandered off. They went up the road and from what we understand they had a verbal argument with one of the homeowners.
My brother vandalized the vehicle in the driveway which ended up being a wheelchair van and the cousin broke a different window on the car next door. The police were called and they got arrested.
The fallout was the contract my brother and his wife had with the hall was voided because outside drinks were brought in and that violated the contract and the signs posted at the hall.
Since the insurance from the hall was lost, they had to pay to replace both windows (about $3700 each), the car window my cousin broke (about $300) and the damage to the van my brother did (about $7300). The cousin’s parents reimbursed them for the $4000 he cost them. My brother and his wife told my brother if he doesn’t pay them back they are going to small claims court.
I DO NOT CONDONE WHAT MY BROTHER DID. He was a complete moron and he ruined the wedding. I’m embarrassed for him. But I agree with my parents and grandparents that going to small claims will solve nothing. My brother doesn’t have $11k lying around and neither does any of us. I 100% get why my brother and his wife are mad.
I would be royally mad if it was me. The $15k they had to spend out to fix everything was their down payment and now they had to stop house shopping because they only got $4k back though her dad said he will help them buy a house if they can. But taking my brother to small claims won’t do anything since he doesn’t have that money.
I’m not saying they should not be mad. I’d have blown a fuse if it happened to me. But I wouldn’t take my brother to court because it wouldn’t solve anything. I’d try to work out a payment plan with him instead. My brother told off me, my parents, and my grandparents as if we were saying they weren’t allowed to be made though.
And he told us not to say a word to his wife about this. AITJ for trying to get him to see the logic that our brother has no money (not saying he can’t be mad)?”
