People Muster Up The Courage To Tell Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
33. AITJ For Moving Out And Taking Everything With Me Without Telling My Roommates?
“I (19f) live with 3 other girls (19-20) in an apartment on campus. Since it’s an apartment on campus it’s a 2 bedroom with 4 people so everyone shares a room.
I share a room with B, and C and D share a room. Between me and D, we furnished the whole apartment.
I want to acknowledge that I am the strict roommate, I call everyone out on money, food, and cleaning.
I’m a full-time college student and I work 40 hours a week on top of that, but I’m also the one that does the most chores. Since I am the only one with a job, my roommates expect me to buy everything for the place (toilet paper, garbage bags, etc.) and they get mad that I ask them to pay me their share.
I really enjoy cooking and it’s a huge stress relief for me. For the first month of the semester we did group groceries and group meals, it was cheaper and we would be getting better meals. I figured out we could get 2 weeks’ worth of meals for around $30 – $40 each every 2 weeks.
I make the grocery list and cook the meals. After about a month B and C said they don’t want to do group groceries anymore because it’s too expensive. I now cook meals for me and D, we shop together and split the cost 50/50.
I’m cooking food for me and D still, and B and C expect me to make them food. I told them they didn’t pay for food so I’m not making them any. So now they go out to eat and get takeout every night, then complain that they don’t have any money.
B has a partner, he comes over and spends the night too. I share a room with B, I’ve asked them to let me know before he comes over. She did for a month, now she tells no one.
He comes over and takes naps in her bed when she’s not in the room and I’m trying to do homework. I’ve asked not to have him spend the night if I am under the influence due to trauma.
I woke up after consuming booze and he was in the room asleep without her. So I did not fall back asleep and was not happy. He comes over all the time now and she doesn’t let us know, I’ll jump in the shower in the morning when I walk back to my room in just a towel he’ll be sitting on her bed while I try to get dressed.
I am in therapy and it’s online. So I do it from my own room. I can’t help it if there are people home, but I’ve recently figured out that they’ve been listening to my therapy sessions.
I’ll talk about things in that session that I don’t talk about with anyone else, somehow C and B will bring it up later that night if it’s something about the apartment and them.
When I move out they will have absolutely nothing in the apartment, no pots or pans, couch, a coffee table, a TV, a TV stand, all decorations, etc. I already canceled my housing contract for next semester, it isn’t going to be worth $2,000 for me.
So I left for 2 weeks, packed up most of my stuff and left with it, I only told D that I was leaving for 2 weeks. So B and C have no idea where I am or most of my stuff and honestly I’m fine with it.
Am I the jerk?”
32. AITJ For Refusing To Hold My Cousin's Baby?
“Yesterday I celebrated my father’s birthday. I (F18) live with my Dad.
I am not fond of my Aunty. She has a habit of treating me as if I’m a child who is incapable of rational thought. She has pretty consistently instructed me what to do and told me that my issues were insignificant because I wasn’t a “real adult”.
Morally speaking, we’re also incredibly different.
Recently, my cousin gave birth to a baby. From the very beginning, I made sure to stress that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with this child. I was immediately laughed off and critiqued for this, but I shrugged it off and just insisted that it wouldn’t be a good idea to try to force me to interact with the baby.
My dad received a message yesterday morning telling him to come over to my aunt’s place at a certain time. I was on the fence about whether or not to go, to begin with. I go anyway because my Dad seems excited.
My dad and I arrive. I come to find out my grandma (who lives with my aunt) is sick, so I say I’ll just wait in the car while my Dad says hello (he expressed prior to this that he didn’t want to stay long).
My aunt insists I come in and we all sit outside.
A few times both my Dad and I express our desire to leave but my Aunt keeps on insisting we stay. I was confused by this until I heard my cousin’s voice, who had been told to meet at the same time as we had been.
Immediately I start panicking. I have severe anxiety and I have been known to faint or collapse in stressful situations.
My cousin walks out with the baby and I’m trying to remain calm. Up until this point, I had almost entirely forgotten that the baby had a relatively uncommon and unique name.
One that just so happened to be the same name as my friend who passed away two years ago.
I immediately spiraled. I hadn’t heard the name in so long and I hadn’t realized how heavy it was to hear someone call that name again.
I got up from my seat and I could feel the telltale signs of passing out. They began insisting that I hold the baby and I was being dramatic trying to move away from my cousin’s baby, but I kept insisting I was uncomfortable.
I wasn’t entirely coherent, at this point, since I was more focused on staying on my feet, but when prompted about what my issues with babies were, the only words I could think of were “they’re creepy”.
When I realized I wasn’t going to be able to calm down with my Aunt borderline chasing after me with this baby, I took off around the corner.
My dad announced we would be leaving. We left, with my aunt and cousin insisting I was just being dramatic and that this “fear” was ridiculous and disrespectful since we were family.
After leaving, my Dad’s phone blew up with messages from my aunt demanding I be sent to therapy and that I needed to be “conditioned”.
My dad defended me, saying that I had warned them several times and that I had clearly set a boundary that they ignored.
My aunt is insisting I apologize and I refuse. AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Reporting A Coworker To Management?
“I (27F) work with this guy named Ron (19M) at a restaurant. We both work up at the host stand. Ron is a lead host so he essentially runs the shift but responsibilities are always shared and we always trade off who does what.
At the beginning of November, Ron would start disappearing without telling anyone where he was going and would be gone for 20+ minutes at a time. It was always right when a ton of people were coming through the door. He started getting extremely rude and condescending not only with me and other people at the host stand but with customers as well.
All of these things have only gotten worse as time has gone on.
Last week was the final straw for me so I said something to management. It was a Friday and right at the peak rush of lunchtime. He had been moping around because he wasn’t the one that got cut for the day.
We had a small waitlist going and we are able to text a bunch of people in. He tells me that he texted a bunch of people in but he’s going to the bathroom leaving me all alone to deal with the 6 groups of people that he texted in alone.
At the same time, a bunch of people walked in. This was all in the span of 20 minutes and he hid in the bathroom while servers and managers were helping me seat people. He had also been telling people to leave in an incredibly rude way when they were deciding if they wanted to sit on our patio.
So I told management that it happened and it was becoming incredibly difficult working with him. The manager I spoke to about Ron spoke to him that day.
Monday rolls around and apparently another person at the host stand complained about him to a different manager and mentioned that I made a complaint with the other manager.
The manager asked me about it and I told him what happened. Ron had been acting a little bit better the whole week and out of the blue yesterday Ron decides to be extremely unpleasant and condescending towards me. I would ask him to take people to a table and he would be like no but you can, he would tell me that I needed to bus tables (which isn’t part of our job), and was overall just the worst all day.
He somehow found out that it was me who went to management the week before even though management told him multiple people said something. He asked the third hostess yesterday why I was mad at him and she was like you’ve been incredibly rude to her all day and he said well I wouldn’t be rude to her if she wasn’t coming for me.
I ended up reporting him for how he was treating me yesterday.
So AITJ for reporting Ron?”
30. AITJ Because I Stopped Cooking After My Husband Told Me To "Do My Job"?
“My husband and I both work, equal hours. I’m a hairstylist working at a salon and he is a warehouse manager.
My Mil is very sexist and lives in the 1950s still.
She said women can’t stop taking care of their households as a priority no matter what they achieve. I hated this and it caused endless problems between us. My husband learned to do everything from folding his clothes to fixing the toilet except cooking.
His mom taught him that his future wife should do everything so he didn’t have to learn. He defended me against her and cut contact with her.
She hasn’t participated in a gathering since 2015 due to family not wanting her around.
My husband cleans while I cook but he tends to complain from time to time and throws some weird beliefs/opinions at me that are similar to what his mom thinks. I get it since he’s been raised by her and this mentality takes time to go away.
Last week he had guests over and asked me to help him host dinner. We agreed that I cook and he clean like always.
Guests arrived and my husband sat with them while I was in the kitchen cooking.
I had issues with the oven, I was running late and dinner wasn’t ready yet.
My husband rushed into the kitchen asking why dinner wasn’t ready yet. I said I’d be done soon. He grabbed a few glasses while pressuring me to hurry up. I made a comment about how I didn’t even get to meet his guests and how unfair it was, he casually said “just do your job” and rushed out.
I was shocked I stopped him and asked “what did you just say to me?” He looked at me quizzically. I turned the oven off and stopped cooking. He was freaking out saying “no no, wait, what are you doing?” while I took my apron off.
I said I don’t work for him to tell me to “do my job” and he should take over cooking if he thought I was “slow”. He begged me not to do this to him and explained he didn’t mean to tell me to do my job but only spoke this way since he’s used to saying stuff like that at work and wasn’t paying attention.
I refused to continue cooking and went upstairs to wash the smell of onion off me. I left him in the kitchen to handle serving dinner on his own and he came upstairs 2 hours later after the guests left and looked an absolute mess, hair messed up, and his shirt stained. He asked if I was happy and proud of “proving a point” by backing out of cooking last minute just cause he slipped and accidentally said “do your job”.
I told him that he’s an adult and is responsible for what comes out his mouth accidental or not and again said I didn’t have to cook for his guests and that I only volunteered(!) to help and he sounded like his mother with what he said.
He said it wasn’t true and that he was disappointed because I didn’t stick to my word and left him to fend for himself and embarrassed him in front of guests by giving them half-cooked meals over something so dumb.
He walked out after changing his clothes and called me mean.
He wants an apology for backing out last minute knowing he can’t cook. AITJ?”
29. WIBTJ If I Sold The Phone My Dad Got Me To Buy Things I Actually Need?
“So it was my birthday two weeks ago.
I had been telling my family for two months that I wanted this pair of winter boots ($175), and a rug for my apartment because my floors are getting scuffed ($300) – all together $520 tax in. To be clear, money is no issue for them.
The day before my birthday my Dad calls me while he was away on a business trip. He asks what I want for my birthday – I remind him I want the boots and the rug. He says “Ok.. anything else?” I say, no just the boots and the rug.
He says “Didn’t you want a phone?” I say “..No..?” He says ok.
Cut to dinner on my birthday. My Dad arrives straight from the airport because he was away for a few days. He gives me a gift bag and inside is an iPhone 13 Pro Max and a few accessories.
For those who don’t know, this is the newest iPhone on the market and it retails for about $1,350. All the other stuff together retails for $110 (price stickers still on) – tax in let’s say close to $1,600 total.
I was very gracious – I said thank you, hugged him, and told him it was great.
After all, I wasn’t about to complain about getting a new iPhone. Truth is I wasn’t too thrilled. I really don’t ask for a lot, and when I do ask for stuff it’s because I need it. I never mentioned needing a new phone, and I didn’t stop talking about the boots and the rug for two months; but I tabled it because I’m not one to make a scene, certainly not over a brand-new iPhone.
I smiled, read the card, and we carried on with the night. One of my brothers (let’s call him Brother 1) texted me during dinner: “Thanks for being a good sport.”
The next day I found out my Dad bought the phone at an airport kiosk when he was flying home.
I know this because I got an email from Apple listing the date and location it was bought. I texted Brother 1 to ask what happened. He said:
“Honestly, we all forgot about getting you a gift. A few days before your birthday we tried to get a hold of the boots and the rug but they were sold out.
We would have needed to order them but it was going to take 2 weeks before they got here. Instead Dad decided he would get you an iPhone… I’m really sorry I know you wanted the boots and the rug.”
Thank you for the honesty Brother 1, but I would have much rather waited the two weeks because now I still need boots and I still need a rug.
So here we go: WIBTJ if I sold this iPhone 13 Pro Max, and all the accessories, and used the funds to order the boots and the rug, and have like $1,000 + leftover to spend on whatever I want? I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I feel like all things considered this was thoughtless on their part and that’s not my problem.
Thoughts?”
28. AITJ For Ditching The Plans My Sister Made Without Asking Me?
“I (26F) have two older twin sisters who I’ll refer to as J and D (33) and a nephew (10). We’re not extremely close, but we’re close enough that we get on great and have a good time hanging out whenever we do.
I absolutely adore my nephew because I helped in raising him as my sister had him when I was 16.
I’ve been seeing my partner (25) for just over three years and I get on great with his entire family. I’m also extremely close to his younger brother (21) and his partner (19) who I see as my SIL/BIL.
Well my partner and I had loose plans to go over to my MIL/FIL’s house yesterday (Saturday) where my BIL/SIL live as well.
Loose plans as in we had errands and if we had time we’d go over but nothing concrete.
Well my sister J randomly texts me Friday night that her fiancé purchased my partner and me tickets to go with them to a Christmas light show at the zoo Saturday evening from 6-9.
She didn’t ask if we had plans or mention it, just said he bought us tickets to go.
We were grateful but mentioned we had errands and we’re going to my in-law’s house that afternoon. She said it’s fine, we can meet after. I told her maybe if we had time as my partner worked at 5 am the next day and he doesn’t like being out too late.
Well when we got to my in-laws, my SIL announced her pregnancy! I was so excited, everyone was. My partner and I were asked to be the godparents to which we happily agreed.
Safe to say we completely forgot about the zoo until about 7:30.
I texted my sister to let her know we won’t be able to make it as we’re gonna have dinner with my in-laws to celebrate. She didn’t reply so I texted my other sister who also didn’t reply.
I didn’t think much of it and just spent all evening talking about baby names/baby showers/gender reveals and pretty much all things babies.
This morning, I woke up to like 15 text message essays (like long freaking paragraphs) from J’s fiancé and J on how we are so rude to ditch my sisters and nephew when we didn’t even pay for our tickets and how I’m a piece of crap who values other people over family.
Which is bull cause these people are my family.
I told my sister how she never asked if we had plans before buying the tickets and it’s her fault for not asking and how I told them we might not make it.
She’s demanding we pay back the money for the tickets and I said I refuse to pay it back because we didn’t ask anyone to buy us tickets, we didn’t even know they had plans to go.
AITJ for choosing my in-laws over my sisters and nephew?”
27. AITJ For Calling My Sister Selfish After She Announced Her Pregnancy?
“I (24F) am the youngest of 4, and I’ve never been particularly close to my eldest sister Jenny (37F). She started seeing her now ex-husband Sam (38M) when they were in high school, so he’s pretty much been around my entire life.
Sam is a really great guy – he was an older brother to me growing up and my other sisters and I all have a great relationship with him.
Jenny and Sam have two kids together, my nephew and niece who are 8 and 5.
About 3 years ago, Jenny and Sam’s relationship completely fell apart and she left him and moved to a different city. I’ve heard both sides of the story and I know I’m inherently biased against my sister because she left my ex-BIL to raise 2 kids by himself.
Things were pretty rough after she left but we all pitched in and did our best to help with the kids. My sister and Sam eventually finalized their divorce and she gave up custody of the kids and is very low contact with them.
I know Sam blamed himself for her leaving because she had accused him of not loving her as much as he loved the kids but the rest of my family were firmly on his side. He did eventually move on and started seeing one of his close friends at the beginning of this year.
Fast forward to 2 months ago – my sister moved back to our city with a new man. She’s only been to see her kids once (supervised), and my niece almost didn’t recognize her.
My parents still wanted the opportunity to finally have Christmas as a complete family again.
I thought the whole thing would be a disaster before it even began. I knew my ex-BIL only planned to stay long enough to drop off the kids and say a quick hello to everyone else. In the 15-minute window he was at my parents’ house, my sister announced that she was pregnant and things went downhill after that.
The kids were so confused and my niece asked if the new baby would live with them. My sister laughed and said the baby would live with her and her partner.
My ex-BIL left with the kids in tow and I kind of lost it.
I yelled at my sister and called her selfish and cruel and a whole slew of insults – anything I could come up with in the moment before storming out myself.
My other sisters support my actions but my parents are disappointed that I reacted that way and made a scene during Christmas.
They’re not demanding that I apologize or anything, but have put me on one heck of a guilt trip and want me to resolve things with my sister. I’m perfectly happy not being in contact with her given what she’s put my niece and nephew through.
But I do wonder if I reacted too harshly. Was I a jerk?”
26. AITJ For Excluding A Friend Because She Always Asks Us To Pay Her Back?
“We have a 5 person friend group. We have dinners and play dnd. We usually don’t really keep a tab of who brought what. Usually one or two people will take care of dinner and next time other people do it.
I cook for example a lot so I buy all the ingredients and spend more than 3 hours when we have our evenings. My other friends like to order stuff and then another friend always brings a lot of stuff from her workplace that she bought with an employee discount.
We all do that, besides our friend “Lea”. She always asks us to pay her back right that instant to the cent. We have always done it because it’s her money. But her demeanor has just kind of icked a lot of us out.
When she graduated she invited us to eat. She never talked about splitting the bill. She paid the bill in full which we thought was nice. That was also the day she told us that she had booked a world travel with the massive inheritance she got 3 years ago and now has access to as she graduated.
After that night we said our goodbyes as she was leaving two days later.
A week after the dinner she supposedly invited us to, she started hitting us up with PayPal requests to pay her and a screenshot of the prices of what we had consumed. Because of different time zones she sent that when it was 2 am our time and we didn’t see it until like 8 hours later.
By that time she apparently had already had like a mental breakdown and demanded we pay her the exact amount (mine was 17,38 €) as soon as we finished listening to the voicemail. We all did, even though we were confused…. Because she invited us and nothing else was discussed.
I told her as much in a phone call and she said that we know how she is and we should have known it was not an invitation but rather she invited us to eat with her. Idk.
That incident left kind of a bad feeling.
While she was on her world tour we started meeting up more often with the friend group and when she came back we would still invite her to the main dnd sessions. We just would not invite her to random outings like eating pizza at our place or going for some Korean BBQ.
She got wind of that and called us jerks for abandoning her because she stated her boundaries.
I don’t think we are jerks. But one other friend thinks we might have taken it too far.
So are we the jerks?”
25. AITJ For Wanting My Mom To Treat My Wife As Family?
“I got married a year ago to the love of my life. My mom has never liked her, and to be fair my mom doesn’t like anyone (and I don’t mean anyone I go out with, she just doesn’t like people).
I obviously take my wife’s side and it has caused a rift in our relationship.
Birthdays are a huge deal in my family. My mom has always done a lot for me and my sisters. We are also currently staying with my mom, which complicates things a little, but we had a financial setback.
My mom said we could move in but expressed to me in private that she wanted me to talk to my wife and make sure she didn’t try to socialize with my mom too much, and that really rubbed me the wrong way.
When my wife had her latest birthday (before we moved in) I expressed to my mom that she needed to put in some effort, because she does for everyone else in the family. To be clear I did not demand a gift of any sort, but she cooks for everyone else, so I said at least she could offer to make a nice meal. My mom said my wife is not her daughter and she isn’t obligated.
I pointed out that my wife is family now, and that my mom does stuff for my sister’s partner. My mom got very upset and said my wife is absolutely not her family and I have no right to use that word.
She said she gets married couples being family, but she feels I am forcing my wife onto her. She also claims the situation with my sister’s partner is different because she has known him since high school and his parents suck.
I told her that I won’t forgive her if she continues to play favorites. She did not acknowledge my wife’s birthday at all.
Today is my mom’s birthday and I’m just ignoring her because she said the most important person in my life isn’t family.
My mom hasn’t said anything but my sister has been harassing me about why am I ignoring our mom. My stepdad came into my room without knocking, cussed me out, and when I tried to defend myself just said to never talk to my mom again.
Finally I confronted my mom and asked if she was hurt and did she ever think about how she was hurting me. My mom said she wasn’t hurt, but called me pathetic and entitled for trying to force her to view my wife as family.
She said we need to talk about my plans to move out, so I laid them out for her (a month and a half at most) my mom said it sounded like a solid plan, and then maybe we should just not talk.
I’m just so confused because I feel I am doing the right thing for my wife, but it gets no results and now my whole family hates me.”
24. AITJ For Refusing To Share My Phone Passcode With My Partner Because I Could Get In Trouble At Work?
“I (27F) have been seeing my partner (28M) for about five months now. We haven’t moved in with each other yet but we’re talking about doing that when our apartment leases are up (mine is up next May, his next June).
So we’re still in the ‘newly seeing each other’ stage but talking about moving on to more serious life commitments in the future.
Partner has said he wants us to share the passwords for our phones and to give each other access at all times, as a trust gesture I guess?
Like, we wouldn’t share email passwords or anything, but he could ask to see my phone and see my text conversations and such. And I could do the same in return with him too, he wants this to be equal.
The thing is, I can’t do that. I’m a teacher, and I sometimes get emails that are protected by FERPA (think the education equivalent of HIPPA). I have my work email set up to go to my phone too, so I can get notifications while I’m working.
(My phone is also set to a f****l scan unlock for this reason, so people can’t just take my password and unlock it.) If I let my partner have access to my work email, I could be fired for breaching FERPA if he reads the wrong things.
So I explained this to him and he said he understood that part, and that he wouldn’t ask to get into my work things. I said I couldn’t let him access my phone at all because my work email is attached to it.
I could hold it and show him what he wants to see, but I can’t just hand it over for him to look at. (Well, I COULD technically and just trust him not to look at my work email, but I don’t want to.)
He suggested that I remove my work email from my phone to avoid the problem entirely. I refused this suggestion because it’s more convenient for me to get emails to my phone. If I take my class to the library or out to recess I take my phone with me but not my computer, and when I’m at home I can check my work email from my phone to see if it’s something important before opening up my computer to do any work.
Now he’s upset with me because of this. Holding my phone and showing him what he wants to see isn’t enough for him. Also for the record, there’s no history of unfaithfulness for either of us so it’s not a trust issue either.
So AITJ for not removing my work email from my phone so he can check my phone?”
23. AITJ For Wanting To Sleep In The Bed?
“My partner (26) has a 5-year-old that they recently got visitation and custody of. We live together but it’s all my furniture, he’s never paid a bill, and I (23) pay for almost everything in the household.
Now I gave up my home office for his child to have a bedroom and I got them a dresser.
He has never got any more furniture even though he’s had visitation for two months now. At first his child slept in our bed (that I bought before I ever met him) and I slept on the couch because I don’t want to sleep in bed with his child and his child’s mom doesn’t want me to either.
I slept on the couch without any pillow for the first two visits (each lasted a week). The third week I took my pillows from the bed for the couch and his child cried about it but I was just like these are my pillows….
By the fourth week halfway through I asked if I could sleep in bed instead because I am in intense pain being on the couch. I can’t stretch out or sleep comfortably and I get three hours of sleep on the couch and then they wake me up at 6 am to play.
My partner let me sleep in the bed and it all improved, besides them waking me up at 6. They still do no matter what I ask.
This visit his daughter started crying about the bed. I feel like the adult thing is to tell the child “Hey, I know you want to sleep in OP’s bed, but she’s in a lot of pain on the couch because she’s pregnant, and it would be nice for us to sleep on the couch so she isn’t in pain.” (Also, the child sleeps fine on the couch.
They fall asleep right away, have a TV to watch, and don’t wake up at all at night and don’t complain of any pain. Kids are pretty resilient compared to adult bodies lol).
My partner doesn’t feel that way and it’s turned into a huge fight where I’m being accused of ruining everything.
I just want to get a good night’s sleep in the house I pay for in the bed I bought for me and my son. I feel like I am being gaslighted and not cared for.
AITJ for expecting my partner to put his child to bed on the couch until he can afford to buy her a bed?
(I cannot afford to buy her one)”
22. AITJ For Secretly Keeping In Touch With My Ex-SIL And Niece?
“I was in my first year of college when this happened, I didn’t live in my hometown and I just heard about the breakup from my mom and dad and my brother.
My brother left his wife when she was pregnant. He told her he didn’t want anything to do with her or my niece.
I contacted her once to give her my contact information and to say if she needed anything to let me know.
I would leave her alone otherwise and keep my family out of it. I contacted her because I didn’t think she deserved what my brother did. It was more than a year that went by but she did email me when my niece was 6 months old.
I was home for the summer and she let me meet my niece. We stayed in touch. One time I lent her funds because she needed it for a legal bill but she did pay me back and I would have been fine if she hadn’t.
When niece was 1 she filed for divorce from my brother. He never bothered to answer or come to court so when the divorce was finally granted it was without him.
When my niece was 9 my ex-SIL got engaged and she wanted her new husband to adopt my niece since my brother wasn’t involved and didn’t care.
He never tried to meet my niece, never tried to get any visitation and he was in arrears because he never once paid child support. He wasn’t always employed because my parents gave him money. They let him use their cars even though his license got suspended for driving offenses and not paying child support.
For a reason I don’t understand my brother fought the motion to have his rights terminated and the adoption. My parents were also mad about it and they hired a lawyer. It didn’t matter though because there was proof he knew she was pregnant when he left and proof he (and our parents) knew about the divorce hearings and child support case and did nothing.
He lost and my niece was adopted. My parents also tried for grandparent rights but since they waited 9 years and my brother lost his rights they also lost their case. My ex-SIL’s husband is a good guy, he was friends with her and has known her a long time and had known my niece since she was a baby.
I’m happy for them.
In the court case it came out that I have a relationship with my ex-SIL and my niece. My mom and dad and my brother are angry at me for not telling them. I thought it was none of their business since they never cared about her but our extended family now thinks I was wrong to have not told them too.
My brother is especially furious that he found out in court and my parents are mad I didn’t help in their case. I don’t get them. There is lots of tension between me and my whole family. Do you think I should have told them and not kept such a big secret from my family?”
21. AITJ For Arguing With My Wife Over Takeout?
“My wife Ali (34F) and I (25M) had an argument over takeout that I’m thinking I made worse than it had to be by not being sympathetic.
I work 5 days a week, 6 am to 5 pm, including travel time.
Ali is a SAHM to our two daughters (5 and 3) and we split the chores on a 60-40 schedule, and cooking on a 4-3 (I take weekends and Fridays or Mondays). Last night was her night to cook, but she said she was exhausted and experiencing the monthly flow, so she wanted me to take over for the night.
I asked her what she wanted for dinner and she said she didn’t know. So I started listing some of her favorites that I could easily make based on what we had in the house, but she shot each down with increasing impatience, then finally interrupted me and said that half the point of me taking over was so she didn’t have to think about it.
So, I made a quick pasta bake, which the girls like because I usually put in tomatoes and bell peppers. Ali asked me what was for dinner and when I told her she said “Oh sounds good” which I took to mean that she was on board.
Ali sat down to dinner with us and picked at it, which I assumed was due to an upset stomach or cramps, and when she went to lie down while I got the girls ready for bed, I was all the more sure of that.
While I was getting them ready, though, the doorbell rang. Ali had ordered jalapeno poppers, mozzarella sticks, and cheese fries from a local pizza place. Not wanting to get the girls riled up I let it go and continued with their night routine and only asked her about it after they were asleep.
She was baffled that I ever thought she was going to eat what I had made. She said I should have known because this was her go-to comfort meal during this time of the month, and it’s telling I didn’t even care to remember or accommodate that.
I pointed out that I had tried to include her wants and desires but she hadn’t given me anything to work with. Ali argued that she has, for 7 years now, and this isn’t a good precedent for later down the line or for the girls.
She took the fries she had ordered and put them in the fridge for me for when I “stop being a jerk.””
20. AITJ For Being Away On Halloween?
“I just bought a house in a suburban area, and on Halloween weekend my friends and I planned on going camping and making a party of it. We’d be going from Saturday afternoon to Sunday evening.
I’ve never lived in a place that does much trick or treating, I grew up really rural where every house was a mile from the next, and then I lived in a college town where the thing to do was throw a house party or go out to the bars.
So when I absentmindedly headed out on my camping trip leaving my outdoor lights on and pumpkins on my porch I didn’t think much of it.
I got home from camping and there were a bunch of kids and parents waiting on my porch and when I was driving up I heard my neighbor yell to the group “she’s not answering the door” and then I remembered Sunday was actually Halloween (my friends and I celebrated on Friday and Saturday nights).
I got home and the neighbor on one side asked me where I’d been, it was almost the end of trick or treating and I’d been away all day and missing their texts.
I said I was camping then driving a carpool of my friends home from camping.
My neighbor said I’d really inconvenienced him by setting up my decor for trick or treat, leaving all the lights on, and then not being home, making him tell groups every few minutes all night to not bother waiting.
I said sorry, I didn’t remember it was trick or treating that night.
The neighbor next door on the other side came by at that point and said that this is a really big neighborhood for trick or treat, it’s a family neighborhood, and it wasn’t neighborly of me to be away for Halloween and not participate.
I started to get frustrated because I hadn’t even known Halloween was a big deal to them, I hadn’t even remembered it was actually Sunday and not Saturday, and I felt like they were mad because I didn’t do something that I didn’t even know would be important to them.
Like if one of them said Halloween is really important to them in advance and they’d like me to contribute I could have tried to be home or put out a bowl of candy or something.
I told both neighbors that it wasn’t fair of them to be mad over something I didn’t even know would be a big deal, and they said that it should have been obvious to me not to decorate for Halloween and leave the lights on and then go out.
AITJ for being away on Halloween?”
19. AITJ For Telling On A Noisy Student During An Exam?
“I had a college test yesterday and shortly after starting I kept hearing a continuous sound right behind me, like a repeated tapping about every 3 seconds.
At first I just attempted to ignore it and figured someone was tapping heavily on their computer’s keyboard over and over out of anxiety, but it was very noticeable in the otherwise quiet environment.
After about 10 minutes, I noticed other people in the room looking around and I figured they were also probably trying to figure out what the noise was.
One lady across the room made eye contact with me with a questioning look as if to say “what in the heck is that?” I shook my head to let her know I had no idea. The professor noticed the other student looking over at me, and the student pointed in my direction so I think the professor must have thought I had a question or was trying to get her attention, so I slightly raised my hand and she came right over.
I quietly told her I wasn’t sure what this “tapping” sound was but it seemed like people were becoming distracted by it. She asked, “is it me making the sound at my desk?” which confused me because this wasn’t a subtle noise and of course I knew it wasn’t her.
So I said no, and motioned behind me to show her where I was talking about. She said “I understand” and went to the student behind me and I didn’t hear what was said, but the noise stopped after that.
So whatever, I just moved on with my exam.
After the test, I learned the student behind me had been using an electric breast pump during the test. Someone from my class told me I should apologize to that lady at once because she likely had suffered physical issues due to my actions and that her whole pumping schedule was probably messed up now, and said this woman likely hates me now because of the pain she must have endured due to me.
I just responded that I had no idea of what was going on so I surely couldn’t be at fault for that.
Should I have just not said anything? It is very hard for me to focus while listening to distracting sounds, especially in a pattern, and I may be more sensitive to this than others.
I very much support people’s right to have accommodations to pump as needed but when it’s becoming a noisy distraction to the rest I can’t help but feel other arrangements would be reasonable. And was I wrong to say something to the professor even though I had no idea of what was happening?”
18. AITJ For Hitting My Neighbor With A Drone?
“I like to fly drones as a hobby and as such, I was flying my 5” freestyle quad in my yard last weekend as I do often. I have a strict rule with this quad to only fly in within my property line.
It’s about 685g or 1.5 lbs and can top out at 80 mph on a flat trajectory and much more in a dive (100+ mph). It’s like envisioning a 1.5 lb dumbbell with blades on the ends flying around at those speeds. I joke that it’s a flying food processor.
I was flying freestyle in my yard which is basically just flying for sport/fun. Doing stunts, tricks, flips/rolls, flying fast and low and through obstacles, etc. I was doing a trick from my backyard to my front yard and I yeeted the thing over the fence and did a flip and roll out of it, and that’s when I hit something I didn’t expect to be there and I bounced off of it and continued to fly.
I could immediately hear the cadence of the motors was off so I B lined it back to me. I landed quick to assess the damage and I heard a commotion around the side of my house. I hustled over to the side of the house and noticed a grown man sitting on the ground and holding his face.
There was b***d all over his hands and shirt and dripping down his face. He was accompanied by who I assume is his wife.
I immediately asked if everyone was okay, and the wife said ‘You shouldn’t be using that thing around here, it’s clearly dangerous and there are neighborhood kids around!’ I again asked if everything was okay, and she said ‘No!
We’re not okay! Can’t you see he is bleeding!?’ while pointing to her husband. At this point I’m like “Okay… does anyone need me to call 911?” and she goes ‘If anyone should be calling 911, it should be us calling it on you!’ At this point the husband hadn’t said anything but he’s calm and kind of just sitting there and holding a cut above his eyebrow.
After she made that comment I said “Listen, my biggest concern right now is that everyone is okay, is there anything I can grab for you guys? Towels, water, bandages, etc.?” She scowled back that they were fine but that her brother was a lawyer and she ‘knows where to find me’.
At this point I started to get a little flustered and said “With all due respect, you were on my property without my permission when the quad crashed into him. Why were you on my property?” They said some story about how they noticed I replaced a portion of my fence and wanted to ‘see if it was up to code’.
I don’t even live in an HOA. As soon as I went back to them being on my property, the wife was all of a sudden interested in my quad, asking if it had cameras or if it was recording so she could use it as evidence against me?
At this point I asked them to get off my property. This happened Saturday and there has been no follow-up so far but I can’t help but be nervous. AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Complaining About A Kid's Party?
“My (38f) spouse’s (42m) childhood friend (42m) invited us to a milestone celebration for his young child (age 2). When we arrived at the reception with our children (ages 1, 3, and 5), I thought we must be in the wrong place, because it was styled with art decor objects resembling brightly colored toys in easy reach of little hands.
To be clear, this was a party for a toddler and little kids were invited. While the catering did include food for kids, the venue wasn’t remotely child-friendly and there weren’t any toys or activities to keep them busy. My spouse didn’t exactly ignore our kids, but he was content to let them run around with the others without keeping a close eye on them.
I spent the whole event steering kids away from the fragile decor and entertaining them with some small toys I had in my bag.
That night, when the kids were asleep, my spouse started talking about how much he had enjoyed the party and how sweet it was to see all the children playing together for the first time.
I agreed the kids were cute, but said I thought it was a bizarre place for a toddler’s party and I found it stressful.
He said it was a lovely event and didn’t see what my deal was, so I pulled up some pictures on my phone to show him the perilous decor.
He said it looked like random crap from Target and didn’t believe me when I told him the prices, so I started pulling up websites showing how much these things cost. Then he said so what – our kids had fun, they didn’t break anything, and even if they had, it’s not like the venue would’ve made us pay for it.
I reiterated that the reason the kids didn’t damage anything was because I kept on top of them, so I couldn’t relax and enjoy the party.
My spouse said I was being negative because I don’t like his friend (true – we’ve never liked each other).
He said I was obsessed with the price of the venue’s decor because I think his friend’s wealth is from a reprehensible source (I do), but his friend can have his own party for his own kid wherever he wants.
Then he got really sarcastic and said he was sOooOo sOooOoRrY we don’t have such nice things, but he’d save up real hard to get me my own expensive decor object because I dEsERvED iT. (He knows this isn’t something I like or want.)
I said he was being a turd.
Weeks later, he is still bringing up expensive decor objects.
My mom says I should apologize because my spouse has a sore spot about growing up in a financially insecure household and never being able to afford the same things and experiences as his peers.
I’m not blaming him for having a good time at the reception and I don’t really give a darn about the cost of the decor. It just took a lot of effort for me to mind the kids so he (and they) could enjoy themselves, and I didn’t try to bring everyone else down in the moment just because I wasn’t having fun myself.
I don’t want to apologize.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Not Telling My Parents About My Sister's Speech?
“I (23M) recently attended my stepsister’s (27F) wedding. My sister and I are really close and I honestly wouldn’t be here today without her.
Her mother and my father passed away and our parents then got married. (3 years later for her and 6 years later for me). We were 13 and 9 when they married. Our younger sisters were born when I was 10 and 12.
At first, our parents were terrible at blending families and didn’t realize that it was especially difficult for my stepsister who vividly remembered her mother.
To give them credit, they soon realized their mistake and stopped trying to “replace” the opposite dead parent. I was able to forgive and move on because I don’t remember my father, but my sister found it difficult to forgive.
My mom didn’t know how to deal with a teenage girl and had a lot of expectations for her that she realized were cruel and to her credit did apologize. My stepsister has always been soft-spoken and forgiving and did try to work on her relationship with my mother for our sakes because she did not want to cause conflict.
She is very close to her father. She very much was the “big” sister and did so much for me even though our parents told her that she didn’t have to and was also a child. I know it was hard on her especially when I had some mental health struggles and now I have promised myself I will take care of her for the rest of my life.
My sister has always been very classy and would never let outsiders know anything about her struggles with her family. So when she told me about her plans to honor her parents at the wedding, I was shocked. I was slightly proud of her though even though her actions were IMO petty.
At her wedding, she had a tribute for her mother and father and her now husband spoke about his mother, father, and stepparents who has great relationships with during dinner before the dancing.
My mother was humiliated and cried and my sister’s dad yelled at her (outside) but the wedding was ruined for my sister.
She was in tears and begged her dad not to leave before the father/daughter dance.
Our parents asked me if I knew and I told them that I did, and they got upset with me for not telling them.
I think I was in the right, but I have been thinking and maybe a warning would have prevented the blow-up at my sister’s wedding. My sister has been so upset and I wonder if I could have helped prevent this disaster.”
15. AITJ For Not Wanting To Look After My Friend's Guinea Pigs Anymore?
“I live with my dad and we agreed to hold my friend’s 2 guinea pigs temporarily while she looks for somewhere else, I already have a Staffie, a cat, and 2 rats.
It’s been 2 months and she came to see them twice, hasn’t bought anything for them and has only given me £40 for food and necessities (£40 for food, bedding and anything guinea pigs need in 2 months) I’ve paid over £100 to care for them, again these aren’t my animals and our agreement was she’ll come up every week to clean them out and would bring fresh food, fruit and veg and bedding each week, but I can’t see them suffer so I have been getting it all, I don’t work atm and she’s an NHS pharmacist in a hospital so she has more than enough to pay for her animals.
I have messaged her saying I need them gone (they are living in my bedroom with me and my rats) the bedding they need (sawdust and hay) is causing my hayfever to become really bad I can’t breathe in my room properly, one of my rats now has respiratory issues and had to be rushed to vets, the vet said it’s because of the guinea pigs and their bedding as sawdust affect their breathing.
It was heartbreaking seeing him ill and cranky attacking me and his brother.
On top of this, my dog for the past 2 months has had to be pushed out of my room, and can no longer sleep in here as she hates the guinea pigs.
I’ve shared my room and bed with her for 5 years, this is causing her already separation anxiety due to the abuse she endured before I rescued her, to become worse to the point my girl is constantly scratching her ears to the point they bleed.
I feel I have been dumped with her guinea pigs and when I told her I can’t look after them anymore she said she hasn’t been looking for somewhere else and assumed they were fine staying with me, my dad is even getting annoyed with the smell and getting stressed that me and my animals are suffering.
She doesn’t care that my animals and I are ill she’s made that clear and in her words said you’ll have to bear with it, so now I’ve given her until the end of the month to sort them somewhere else out.
Now she’s acting like I’m a bad friend and I’m selfish and being a jerk so to everyone who reads this please tell me honestly. Am I the jerk?”
14. AITJ For Blowing Up At My Brother's SO And Kicking Her Out?
“I’m male and 28. My 19-year-old brother lives with me. He started seeing a girl, also 19, who is crazy, like believes dragons are real and she calls herself a “starchild” level of crazy.
She talks constantly about conspiracy theories and psychic abilities. She’s his first significant other so I kind of understand why he tolerates her. She’s nice and polite but needs A LOT of attention. Every conversation gets derailed by her so she can talk about nonsense.
Any conversion without her is interrupted to tell us about her dreams, why people have dreams and the psychic links humans share, etc. I don’t like her and avoid being around her. She just comes off as someone faking for attention.
Our problems started when “starchild” found out I occasionally sleepwalk. When I was little I slept walked around the house sometimes. For a few brief months I had night terrors as well. Now as an adult I sometimes sleepwalk to the kitchen and then go back to bed. It happens maybe once a month and no one notices unless I make a mess.
For some reason I take stuff out of the fridge and leave it on the counter. My brother told “starchild” about this and she thinks I’m a “psychic child” because I sleepwalk. She constantly asks questions about my dreams, feelings, and thoughts.
She believes she and I are the next stage in evolution and my sleepwalking is communicating to a higher power. My childhood night terrors were a reaction to seeing the “true” universe and on and on about the craziest nonsense you’ve ever heard.
I believe I sleepwalk because of stress. I’ve told her this and refuse to entertain her ideas. She still would not let it go and it feels like she became obsessed with me. She comes over just to see me instead of my brother.
She started asking my brother about our family’s genetics and MY medical history. My friends and family think it’s funny and tease me about it. They’ll tell “starchild” exaggerated stories about my “psychic abilities”. Like once, OP said it might rain… then it did!
“Starchild” started sleeping over at my house. She would sleep on the living room couch instead of with my brother in his room. The other night she went to “bed” and I asked her why she’s not sleeping with my brother.
This girl straight up tells me, “I wanted to catch you sleepwalking so I can talk to you”. Just a big creepy smile as if it’s such an innocent request. I blew up on her. I called her psychotic and that I never want to see her again.
I told her to leave now, at 11 pm, and never come back or I’ll get a restraining order. My brother defended her and I told him to leave too.
Now my brother and I are not talking. “Starchild” reached out with an apology but I ignored her.
Everyone thinks I overreacted. My mom is mad that my brother is asking to move back in with her. My friends think I’m ruining my relationship with my brother over something stupid. People are saying her weirdness is just her personality.
I’m starting to believe my reaction to my brother’s significant other was extreme and that I’m in fact a jerk. AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Still Not Forgiving My Sister For Outing Me?
“My sister found a letter my partner had written me in my room and told our parents.
She didn’t know how homophobic our parents were, I was just about to finish high school, They asked me to move out when I turned 18, They pulled all the funding they had promised for college. I struggled for a while, I worked dead-end jobs to just pay the bills and I had to live in a horrible apartment with 4 roommates.
I wasn’t prepared for any of it. I had moved to another city because I was scared of my parents.
My sister has finished college and moved here for work. She offered to let me stay at her place, she was willing to pay most of the rent.
I have started college and I need all the help that I can get, I told her that I still haven’t forgiven her and she shouldn’t expect it to be like old times and I will be treating her like a roommate.
She agreed and I moved in with her, it has been about a year.
We are cordial and I think we are great roommates but I don’t really spend time with her, I work, I study and sometimes my partner comes over.
I don’t have much of a life. Yesterday, my sister knocked on my room. She was crying.
She apologized again and she begged for me to just talk to her a bit more. I don’t honestly want to, all I see when I talk to her is the life I could have had if she hadn’t outed me.
It makes me feel bitter. I don’t want to hate my own sister and I think not spending time with her is the best option. I told her that I needed more time.
I was a bit shaken by this and I was talking about what happened and she thinks I am being a bit of a jerk here, as I am stringing her along and giving her hope when I don’t know if we could ever go back to being the way we were before I moved out.
She says I should stop using her for money and just move out. I feel like a jerk because I feel like I have used her for money. I know she loves me and wants a relationship with me and I feel like I am taking advantage of her goodwill and her need to help me.
I don’t want to hurt her but I think I am hurting her.”
12. AITJ For Kicking My Mom Out After She Called Me A Bad Housewife?
“So, I (50f) have been married to my husband (53m) for 25 years, and I have 21yr twins and a 13yo. I used to be a network engineer for many years. I have 2 medical conditions that I have dealt with since I was in my early 20s.
I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS), and Adhesive Arachnoiditis (AA). While most know what MS is, many probably don’t know what AA is, so here is a quick description. AA is a spinal cord disorder where the nerves that come out of the base of your spine, start to break down and adhere to each other.
AA is a debilitating and painful condition. As a matter of fact, the pain from AA is right up the pain scale with metastatic bone cancer.
19 years ago, my conditions became worse, and my doctors declared me permanently disabled. I went out of work, and applied, and was given long-term disability within 3 months of applying.
So, for the last 19 years, I have of course raised/am raising my kids. I do most of the cooking, but we have someone that comes in twice a week to do cleaning and laundry, as it is impossible for me to do those things.
My husband is an absolute gem. He works 8 to 10 hours a day and thankfully works from home. He helps without my asking and has never acted negatively toward me because of my disability.
My mother has always been dismissive of my medical conditions, saying that she had aches and pains but didn’t let that get in her way.
I have tried to explain that what I am dealing with are not simple aches and pains. I have even given her printouts on my conditions. But, she continues to blow it off. Well, she arrived last week for a 2-week visit.
As soon as she walked into my home she started complaining about our clutter (things like a pile of mail). During her visit her remarks became more frequent, and nasty until finally she told me I am a terrible stay-at-home wife/mom, and she is surprised my husband tolerates this and stays with me, because I am a physical and financial leech that is too lazy to do anything.
I LOST IT! I told her I am not a housewife, and I didn’t stop working 19 years ago to become one. I told her I am physically disabled, and spend half my time in a wheelchair. I told her if anyone was a terrible mom it was her for not recognizing and taking my medical conditions seriously.
I then told her to leave and go back home. I also told her that until she could respect me, my home, and acknowledge my struggles, she was no longer welcome here.
She yelled back and said fine, she will not be coming back, packed, and went home.
When she got home she told my step-dad, and sister her version of what happened. They both started calling me and telling me I was a jerk for throwing my mom out, and for the other things I said. They wouldn’t even listen to my side.
So, I told them I have no problem going no contact with them as well and hung up the phone.
I think I might be the jerk, because she is my mom, and maybe I shouldn’t have been so harsh.
Well, AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Reporting My Coworker With ADHD To HR?
“My department at work is just me, my coworker, and our manager.
Both my coworker and I have the same title and duties. My coworker has volunteered that she 1) has been diagnosed with both ADHD and anxiety and 2) doesn’t take medication even though she needs it because she feels more free and creative without it.
She can’t focus on anything. She is constantly distracted. She starts tasks and leaves them unfinished. She procrastinates on everything. I can’t stand having meetings with her because she can’t focus. She doesn’t do things if they make her uncomfortable (like talking on the phone some days if it’s a bad day).
We work in a field that has licensing and regulations (think accountant, attorney, things like that). When she doesn’t complete things I have to do it because there is a legal deadline. When she doesn’t return calls to clients because of procrastination I’m left scrambling to apologize and do it.
I would just leave it except 1) missing deadlines, ignoring clients, and procrastinating on tasks has real work consequences and could lead to bad things and hurt/problems for people and 2) it could affect my own license and standing because I’m equally responsible for the department.
My coworker just laughs or blows me off and my manager never does anything when I bring up the missed deadlines, not returning calls/emails, etc.
I ended up reporting my coworker to HR and my manager’s manager because my wife convinced me to do so.
I had to fix a mess she made by missing a deadline that badly affected a client. I spent time on the phone with the client who was in tears and normally I keep the office separate from the rest of my life but I cried myself hoarse when I got home.
I didn’t mention her ADHD or anxiety when I reported. I stuck to facts about deadlines, clients, procrastination, and other things going on in our office. My manager’s manager was livid. I found out he ripped my boss and my coworker a new one.
From now on my manager and my coworker are going to have their work checked externally. He apologized to me and several clients.
Why I’m second-guessing my decision now is because my manager and coworker are angry with me. My boss pointed out that I have no idea what it is to have ADHD and anxiety.
She says my coworker is doing her best and I just made it worse. My boss said I should have just continued on and left her alone and now I’ve made her life harder and she is feeling worse. My manager said my coworker was inconsolable and can’t understand why I would tattle.
Both of them are giving me the cold shoulder.
My intention wasn’t to hurt my coworker. I just thought my manager’s manager and HR needed to know how bad things got. I admit I never tried to find a solution with my coworker.
I’m hoping to be pregnant by the end of the year and I know the stress/losing sleep won’t help things. I honestly didn’t mean to hurt my coworker.”
10. AITJ For Wanting To Sue My SIL After She Stole And Lost My Camera?
“My 26f sister-in-law 20f moved in with me and my husband weeks ago cause of problems with her significant other.
She isn’t planning on going back til he apologizes even though she broke his Xbox device in an argument.
I’m a blogger, I have a small space in our apartment sort of like my office but very small where I work for hours.
Sister-in-law always enters the room and takes stuff and not returns them resulting in me replacing them til I got a lock.
She was going to the beach with some friends to let off some steam and asked if she could borrow my 2k video camera to record the trip but I declined and explained that I was working on the weekend and would need it.
I got done with my project & left my camera at the desk. When I woke up the next day at 9 am and had a shower then breakfast, I entered my office and didn’t find my camera. I freaked out and my husband told me to calm down cause his sister took it with her to the beach.
He assured me it was in safe hands but I kept worrying about it and was upset by the fact she took it and he gave her the key.
She got back at 7 pm & was upset talking about getting in a fight with her significant other after seeing him with someone at the beach and it ruined her day.
She started crying loudly and cussing him out. I asked for my camera back she said she didn’t have it. She left angry after the encounter and forgot her sunglasses, cream, hat, and my camera at the beach. Her friend “Aiden” picked up some of the stuff and brought it back but the camera apparently got stolen, I started yelling calling her irresponsible and reckless and this was a 2k camera she left behind.
She started apologizing and then tried to blame it on her now ex-significant other for getting her into a fight with the girl he was with. I said I need the camera for my work and she had to replace it like yesterday.
My husband got involved and said it wasn’t her fault it got stolen and suggested I get a cheaper camera from Amazon for now til I can afford to buy a new one. I said what?!?! Why should I buy a replacement when it was his sister who lost it?
She took it without permission and was responsible for whatever happened afterward.
He tried to make excuses for her being an emotional mess. I said I have no problem suing her. He asked if I was serious and I said yes because I’ve worked hard to get this camera and my work’s always been known to be of high quality so for him to suggest a cheap cam from Amazon was offensive.
He said he was just trying to help fix the problem but I said he was just helping his sister avoid responsibility.
Both he and his sister aren’t speaking to me anymore so suddenly claiming they’re giving me time to calm down when in fact they’re cold-shouldering me making me feel guilty for saying that.
I’m not sure if doing this will be morally right since she’s family as my husband says. AITJ?”
9. WIBTJ If I Didn't Let My Sister Back In My Wedding Party After She Bowed Out?
“I (25F) got engaged to my fiancé “Dan” (27M) in the spring of this year.
We’ve been together since high school, and plan to marry in the fall of 2022.
When Dan and I had our engagement party, we announced our wedding party, and I asked my sister (26F) to be my Matron of Honor.
She said yes, and until last week I thought everything was fine.
Some background: my sister “Olivia” and I have a strained relationship. I love her, but I always let her do what she wanted to keep the peace. My mom (51F) didn’t really help with that, telling me “it’s what Olivia does.” Whenever Olivia and I had arguments, Olivia would shut down, and I would just apologize and let things be.
I’m not at fault, when we argued I’d get angry, but I’d want things resolved. When Olivia got engaged, I didn’t want any part in it, but my mom convinced me otherwise to keep the peace and maintain a relationship with Olivia.
So I was Olivia’s Maid of Honor for her wedding.
Olivia currently has a 6-month-old child, (she will be 1.5 years old by the time of the wedding) my niece “Sasha”. I love Sasha to death and would do practically anything for her.
Now, Dan and I agreed years ago that we wanted a child-free wedding. No children at all, not even at the ceremony. Olivia knew this, before and during her pregnancy.
A week ago, I was talking to my mom about the wedding guest list, and my mom asked to include Sasha.
I explained, again, that no children were allowed at the wedding, no exceptions. My mom told me to not expect Olivia at the wedding then. So I called Olivia, told her that the wedding was child-free, and I would even pay for childcare.
Olivia told me she would respectfully step down as Matron of Honor because she needed to focus on Sasha. I accepted, although incredibly hurt, and have asked another friend to be in my bridal party.
Now I’m hearing from my mom that Olivia now understands that my wedding is about me, and the child-free part wasn’t to offend Olivia or my mom (?).
She’s planning to ask me in a couple of weeks to come back into my bridal party. But I don’t think I want her in my wedding party anymore, and my fiancé is no longer comfortable with Olivia in the wedding anymore.
I’d still like to invite Olivia, but I don’t want her in the wedding party.
This issue is, my mom thinks that this will destroy Olivia’s and my relationship forever, and I shouldn’t have asked another friend to be in my party before giving Olivia a cool-off period to come back.
Olivia hasn’t come to me yet, and refuses to talk to me about it.
So WIBTJ if I didn’t let my sister back into my wedding party, and only extended an invitation to the wedding?”
8. AITJ For Telling My Partner He's On His Own After He Complained To His Family?
“Partner and I are 22 been together 5 years. My engine blew in May. I had protections and so I have been driving a loaner car ever since. My car was a 2014 9k$. This loaner is a 2021 35k$. Partner’s car blew 3 weeks ago.
Cash car and not affordable or worth fixing. My insurance covers partner on my car, but not my loaner.
Partner doesn’t understand why he can’t drive the loaner even after being explained 100x. He says if he crashes it, he will pay – but I say if you could afford a car then this wouldn’t even be a convo.
He has 3 wrecks – 2 for dumb reasons.
I work 6-1 pm most days. Partner has class 5 min up the street at 8 am 3 days. I say he needs to come with me at 6. The other 2 days is 10:30 and I volunteered to pay for an Uber 1 day a week.
He is never done before 1 so I always pick him up. This is fair to me, even tho I’m miserable because he never is done until 3:30 -4:30 which is high traffic in my area so my 10 min drive is always 30.
However he never seems to get up on time on 6 am days and I will not be late for this anymore so I leave. Those days I feel like it’s his responsibility.
Today, his mom called me to tell me I need to be a more supportive partner, as she can’t help pay for Ubers, and it’s my job as his partner to help him as “it’s not every day the man of the house needs help.”
I told her about the loaner situation, but got a “but still it’s your job.”
I lost my patience to that and hung up. Partner hasn’t worked in a year due to being burnt out with balancing school and work.
His grandma pays 50% and not even really because it’s just 1/2 rent and 50$ for utilities. I PAY EVERYTHING ELSE. I take more credit hours than him and work full-time! I do all the cooking and half the cleaning. Now I have to drive his backside everywhere!
I love him but DARN.
So I told my partner since he wants to complain to his family and make me look bad – when I leave in the morning that’s the only ride and at 1 pm that’s my only ride.
He is on his own.
I do feel guilty tho, because his mental health was low and that’s how he stopped working to start, but I feel like he is also unappreciative and failing to see my efforts. Plus his car isn’t his fault.
I also might be downplaying his mental health because I can balance school and work and life. I’m exhausted but I never reached the point of shutting down like he has.
AITJ here?”
7. AITJ For Firing My Nanny After She Lied About Being Sick?
“My husband and I hired a nanny back in August to care for our kids while we’re working. The kids are on a weird schedule at school where they don’t attend every day or all day so we hired a full-time nanny, “Marie”.
We liked Marie, despite some issues with her following guidelines we’d discussed when we hired her: she let the kids have way too much screen time, she spent more time on her phone than with the kids, she would make messes and let the kids makes messes and she wouldn’t clean up after them, she had friends over without letting us know, she let the kids pig out on junk food instead of feeding them real food.
All of this had been discussed when we hired her, and we saw it all when we reviewed our security cam footage, so we sat her down about three different times and gave her official warnings each time. She’d improve for a while each time but go back to the way she’d been before.
Three days Marie called out, said she was really sick, so I told her to get better and I’d call out from work to be with the kids. I’m in the middle of a big project at work and people not coming hurt everyone but I’m a mom first and I don’t expect Marie to take care of the kids if she feels sick so I called out.
The next day it was really hot out and the local water park is running an off-season special with cheap tickets so I took the kids and after a while we ran into Marie with a group of her friends.
I really couldn’t say anything except I hoped she was feeling better. Marie started to apologize and told me that her best friend had gotten tickets to the park and she wanted to go and she didn’t think I’d have given her the day off.
I told her I would have if only she’d told me the truth. I explained to her that she’d lied to me and made me call out at a time that was really inconvenient and if she’d just told me the truth then I’d have understood and I would have been happy to give her the day off and call out myself, it’s the fact that she lied to me is what upset me.
I added the lie to her other warnings and decided she wasn’t worth keeping employed. My husband and I pay well-above market rate and we provide everything, all she needed to do was take care of the kids and follow the few rules we set.
I took her aside and really quietly and as kindly as possible explained this to her and told her that I’d pay her for the whole week but she was fired. Marie started crying and her friends figured out what was happening.
They called me a jerk, a Karen, a monster. My kids got upset so I took them and left. Marie has been blowing my phone up with apologies and begging for another chance.
Some of my friends say I should have given her another chance and that firing her was an overreaction.
Was I a jerk?”
6. AITJ For Siding With My Cat Over My Partner?
“First things first, I (24F) have been seeing “Kyle” (25M) for two months now.
He has started to spend the night.
Kyle never grew up with pets, so my cat has been an “adjustment” to him (his words). My cat “Crumb” (4M) is the most important aspect of my life right now. Like most cat parents, he rules the household.
We are very close, since I found him abandoned on the side of the road (as a 3mo old kitten) and nursed him back to health.
Crumb is very docile but hasn’t shown any affection or really interest in Kyle.
I don’t force it. Crumb does as he does.
Lately, Kyle has been complaining about Crumb. I guess he walked into my bathroom to see Crumb rubbing his face against my toothbrush (I have one of the electric ones that stands).
He was shocked and told me how disgusting it was. I laughed and said, “yeah that’s not great.” He demanded I get a new toothbrush (expensive) and I said no. I just put the toothbrush in a drawer.
Next, Kyle says he doesn’t like my nightly routine with Crumb.
I give Crumb a kiss on the head, stomach and then face before he goes to sleep. He sleeps on my bedside table in a cat bed. If I don’t do this routine, he lays on me until I do.
I know that’s annoying, but that’s how it has always been and I love doing it.
Well Kyle says I am unhygienic because of this. He says Crumb is dirty (he is inside only and I brush him every day) and even letting him sleep in the bedroom is gross and gets fur everywhere (it doesn’t, but Kyle isn’t even allergic so).
I told him that I put the toothbrush away, but he told me that I took it as a joke and didn’t punish Crumb. I tried to explain that you can’t punish cats (nor would I want to in this scenario), but he wouldn’t hear it.
He then went on to say that me kissing Crumb is disgusting, especially his face, and he wouldn’t ever kiss me if I kissed Crumb again. He asked me to put Crumb outside the room when he is over, or lock him in a “crate.”
So I said, “okay bye.” Not only is Crumb 10000x more important to me, but I laughed in Kyle’s face about never kissing my cat again/keeping him locked.
This is where I may be the jerk. Kyle told me that I was ruining our future and how mean I am for laughing at his concerns.
I felt guilty so I asked a group of my friends and they were split. The pet owners laughed, the non-pet owners said I am in the wrong for not making Kyle feel more comfortable. They said that Kyle wasn’t asking me to get rid of Crumb, just compromise with him.
They said I was being kinda gross and understand his concerns.”
5. AITJ For Kicking My Injured Husband Out Of The Car?
“My f32 husband m30 is prone to accidents. He gets injured easily due to not being careful with what he does. He used to drive but he totalled his car same time this past year.
His recent injury was a severely damaged wrist. He called me to take him to the hospital because he was feeling so much pain and yeah he’s the type that can’t deal with the slightest amount of discomfort and that stems from childhood traumas.
I took him in my car to the hospital and he had his wrist looked at and treated by the doctor. When we were in the car on our way home he kept huffing and puffing complaining about the pain though he was already given medication.
He started commenting on my driving telling me to go left or right then point out how terrible my turns were etc. I was getting annoyed but decided to ignore him and turned the radio on. He then told me he hated this singer and I needed to change the station or turn the radio off but I refused since this is my favorite song and asked him to respect me as the driver but he insisted and turned the radio off but I turned it back on and told him to knock it off and respect the driver!
He reached out to the glove compartment and pulled out my registrations and rolled down the window and threw them out. I was freaking out asking what he was doing and he kept saying I caused him to do this and that I could get them replaced later.
I immediately pulled over and yelled at him to get out of my car. He was looking at me asking if I was serious and pointed out how far we were from home and he had no money for a cab but I said it wasn’t my problem and argued with him for a few minutes as he went on about how sick and unwell he was and couldn’t walk this distance home.
He eventually got out of the car and I turned around to go look for my registrations and luckily found them so no damages were done there but I was still shaken up from the whole thing.
He got home at 11 pm and started arguing about how I made him walk home knowing he was sick (he threw up a couple of times on the way) and explained that I could’ve turned off that stupid song since he was feeling intense pain and I clearly had no regard for his feelings.
I said what he did was not right even if he was in pain and wasn’t being rational. He insisted that I viciously got him out of the car in his lowest moments and said he’s now afraid of being sick around me since this is how I treat him when he’s incapable of fending for himself.
He basically stopped talking to me after that and told his family what I did and they’ve all been side-eyeing me saying I have anger issues and no empathy.”
4. AITJ For Telling My Wife She Should Feed Our Son Formula?
“So my wife (f24) and I (m27) had our son 3 months ago. Luckily as new parents we’ve had fewer issues compared to others in our family BUT what really created an issue was the fact that my wife gets wAyyyy more bonding time with my son than I do.
She breastfeeds and doesn’t let me come anywhere near her while she’s doing it claiming she was already in pain and I was making her stressed out with my behavior. She’d promise to let me have my bonding time once she’s done but she takes a long time feeding and then the baby goes to sleep so I get pretty much…almost NO time to bond with him.
It all came to a head for me last night after my wife told me to leave the room while she was feeding our son cause I was ”bothering” her and making her feel ”stressed out” with my ”judgemental” comments but I was just making sure she was feeding our son properly since she’s dealing with stress and possible ppd and so I had to (not under doctor’s recommendation though but following my mom’s advice) be present in every feeding session to make sure nothing goes wrong and…like I said before maybe get a chance to bond with my son but it didn’t end well and I refused to leave the room.
She tried to unload on me about how unsupportive and difficult I was being but I told her she was wrong to exclude me and take away my attempt at bonding with my son and that it’s only fair that I get to have equal time she has with him and suggested that she switch to formula so she has no way of keeping me excluded and again so I could get 50% of the time she has with him.
She called me unreasonable and explained that even though I’m the parent too she as a mother is essentially what our son needs and relies on so her role is more important and she gets more time than I do simply because she’s the mother.
…..then she explained that my request was ridiculous because she is blessed to have almost no issues with breastfeeding and switching to formula was absolutely uncalled for and can not be afforded right now but I disagreed and argued that she left me no choice and that she needs to respect whatever decision I make regarding our son even if she doesn’t like it and doesn’t necessarily agree with it.
She argued back saying I’m delusional to think she’ll just switch to formula to fix my hurt “feefees” and even accused me of making this request so mom could meddle in and start feeding our son formula and have sleepovers since she was against her breastfeeding from the start due to how weak she was before.
This really had me…kind of…lose my cool not gonna lie. I told her that couldn’t be further from the truth. Matter of fact, I strongly believe her refusal to consider switching to formula is mainly to spite mom not because she thinks my request was “unreasonable.”
Long story short, we kept going back and forth on this argument and she told me to drop it but I refused because in my opinion she’s being selfish by how she’s treating me as the other parent.”
3. AITJ For Judging My Friend For Buying A House?
“I (32f) am currently writing my dissertation so I have the benefit of being able to live anywhere right now. Since college, I’ve lived in seven different states (not counting my home state) and have loved every minute of it.
The sublet I was living in was coming to an end and I haven’t spent more than a single holiday back in my home state in years so this seemed like a good opportunity. Stay there until New years and then figure out my next plan.
My dad sold my childhood home two years ago but he has a couch for me to crash on. I’ve crashed dozens of couches in my day. But my best friend (32m) and his wife live 10 minutes from my dad and offered to let me stay with them.
They moved and said they were excited for me to see the next place.
Best friend and I have known each other since kindergarten. I went to college across the country and he stayed at home, went to a local school, and wound up marrying a girl he met there.
She’s pretty much the only girl he’s ever been with. They live in the town he and I grew up in.
I drive 10 hours home and I get to the new address they send me and they bought a whole house.
I thought they’d just upgraded to a two-bedroom apartment but here they are with a two-car garage and two and a half baths and a finished basement. I was stunned. Wife shows me around while friend brings all my stuff to their GUEST ROOM with a bathroom right next door to myself.
I was stunned. We sit down for dinner and they keep asking what I think. They ASK. I tell them buying a house when neither has had the opportunity to travel or do anything means they’re never going to. They’re stuck living here until they sell or divorce.
I told them I’m just sad they’ll never be able to experience anything else and they’re essentially townies. They have a whole bedroom they’re not even using yet.
Wife got mad and went off to bed. My friend called me selfish and told me I could have just told them the house was nice and left it at that.
I only even got into this because they ASKED. They were fishing for compliments.
My brother and SIL (both 29) are pretty close with them and they think I’m being a jerk. My dad is on the fence he says they shouldn’t have asked. I’m just sad that my best friend once wanted to make movies in LA and now he’s stuck on the wrong coast for the rest of his life.”
2. AITJ For Being Upset That MIL Cut Up Her Wedding Dress?
“My husband and I got married a couple of years ago and we were broke and planned on doing everything very low budget.
MIL and I had an alright, though never close relationship, and she said I could borrow something to wear. She has a job that results in her getting invited to a lot of black-tie events, and she had plenty of evening gowns.
I was very grateful, though disappointed because none of them felt bridal, but obviously it isn’t her fault that we were broke.
While looking through her dresses I found her wedding gown from her marriage to FIL. It was a beautiful vintage gown that she got in France and it was probably one of a kind.
She and FIL were in the process of an extremely nasty divorce and he had been unfaithful. I asked if I could wear it and she said she had to ask her parents because they paid for it. I thought that was kind of weird because obviously they gave it to her and had never asked for it back, but I didn’t think much of it.
MIL’s parents are super nice and inviting, so I wasn’t worried.
A few weeks later, MIL said she had been cleaning her closet and found the perfect dress for me. It was gold and sparkly, and really not the bridal dress I wanted, so I asked if she had asked her parents about the wedding gown, and she admitted that she had left it out after I left and the next night she had cut it up in an inebriated rage.
I was in total shock and very emotional. I ended up settling for something else, but I kept thinking about that dress she had destroyed, and honestly it made me come to dislike her a bit.
That was about three years ago and she just got engaged and not going to lie, I’m not super happy for her, because she selfishly destroyed what could have been a beautiful family heirloom.
We had a family dinner recently and MIL’s mom is just over the moon about the engagement because she still lives in 1950 and thought her daughter was a spinster.
MIL made a comment about how happy she is and how she thought she was just going to be a jerk forever after the separation.
Then she laughed again and was like I was super mean for a year. Her mom immediately was like no you are perfect. MIL started recounting the stuff she destroyed, FIL’s car interior, her stepmother’s living room, and then the dress.
Her mom tried to reassure her that was normal behavior and at this point I was annoyed and chimed in that it wasn’t normal and destroying that dress when she knew how much I wanted to wear it was really very selfish.
MIL immediately started to play the victim about how I don’t care about her at all, she was depressed, how dare I bring this up. MIL’s fiancé called me trashy and a gold digger, so we left, but now everyone in the family is taking sides and pretty divided over who was the jerk.”
1. AITJ For Refusing To Take My Son To The Hospital?
“My (40M) son (20) a few years ago was going to the library after school when he suddenly started having breathing pains. He made his way to a nearby medical clinic who took him in as an urgent needs patient before they called the ambulance and he was taken to the hospital.
According to my son, the pain he was having breathing had subsided by the time he was in the ambulance, and when he arrived at the hospital they found nothing after doing a bunch of tests. Nothing wrong with the ribs, nothing visible in the x-rays, and while he does sometimes hang around with people I’d consider the “wrong crowd”, the doctor told us in a one-on-one chat that he denied ever consuming any illicit substances.
My family has a history of issues with acid reflux, it’s been a generational thing. I have it bad, my father and grandfather have it bad, and at the time I assumed that, considering nothing was found and I had the same shortness of breath he described with my reflux, it was just him having one of the more unfortunate things about me passed down.
I told him about how this was something the family dealt with, and that if he took some Tums the next time it happened, things should ease down a little bit.
Come later that night, my son comes to me telling me he’s having the same issue again.
I grab him some Tums and water and tell him it should kick in in a bit to help. An hour later and my son’s telling me he doesn’t feel any better and can’t sleep because of the pain. He asks to go to the hospital, and I refused saying we weren’t going to call and pay for an ambulance just for the problem to go away on his way there.
He told me he was in pain, I told him it was a genetic thing and something that the family deals with.
Admittedly the argument got more intense than it should have, and in the end my son ended up going to bed. I really didn’t enjoy the fact that I had an argument like that with him, especially since it was his first time experiencing it, but I made the right call because while he had a terrible sleep that night, he was alright and it didn’t flare up since.
Until recently that is. My son now lives on his own, and just last week had his first flare-up since then. He took some steps with the doctor, took an ultrasound, and found out he has Costochondritis. He called me and told me I was wrong all along, which I’m fine with, but he argued with me that this would have been found out sooner if we took him to the hospital that day.
We got into an argument, because while I care for my son, I still made the right choice not to call and pay for the ambulance since it was never anything life-threatening in the end, even if I was originally wrong.
He hung up on me and hasn’t been answering my calls since. AITJ?”
