People Want To Gauge Responses To Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
35. AITJ For Posting About My Dad And His Fiancée Excluding Me From Their Child-Free Wedding?
“I (f 18) was always pretty close to my dad. Closer to my mom but I often visited my dad (about 3-4 times a week). A few years ago he started going out with ‘Anna’. Anna and I always got along when my dad proposed I was happy Anna seemed like she would be a great stepmom.
Well a few weeks before the wedding after I had bought everything (dress, shoes, etc.) my dad and Anna said they needed to ‘talk to me’. Anna and my dad decided to have a child-free wedding which I get especially for young kids. Well turns out child-free means no one under 18.
On the day of the wedding, I was still going to be 17, therefore, I was not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wanted to stay true to the child-free rule even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter.
The funny thing is my 18th birthday was just 2 days after the wedding.
But still, I wasn’t allowed to go. The wedding was just last weekend (the 12th) and my birthday was yesterday (the 14th). I haven’t talked to Anna or my dad since they told me I couldn’t attend the wedding since I wasn’t an adult.
My mom ended up taking me on a birthday vacation and yesterday I posted birthday pictures on social media and said finally an adult. I’m so glad my dad and Anna didn’t allow me at their wedding since I was under 18. I feel more mature since yesterday.
The family was freaking out asking if that was true and bashing my dad and Anna. I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and a selfish brat and that’s why I was too immature to be at a wedding.
I was talking to some friends and they said I was kinda a jerk for doing that and I should have just let it go.”
34. AITJ For Posting An Unedited Photo Of My Vain Sister?
“My (26 F) sister (22 F) is an ‘Instagram influencer’.
I won’t give too many specifics, but while she’s relatively a nobody here, she has a couple hundred thousand Instagram followers. We had a small get-together for Canada Day, and she took a picture of me and her posing in front of some decorations. Here is where things took a turn,
My sister facetuned herself but left me unedited. Now, I don’t want to say I’m ugly, or she’s ugly, however, we are nowhere near the average Instagram influencer level of beauty – and I’m relatively unphotogenic. I do not take any images without a filter – just for my own self-esteem.
She insisted that I pose with her since we had somewhat matching outfits. I said okay, and she took a ton of pictures. Finally, she got one she was happy with, but to be honest I looked pretty awful. I told her I didn’t want her to post it anywhere unless she cropped me out, or at least edited me a bit so I didn’t look so dreadful next to her.
She said okay, and I didn’t realize she posted it until later that evening.
I got a weird DM calling me ‘the ugly sister’, along with some other DMs generally making fun of my appearance compared to my sisters. I went to her page, and saw she tagged me in the image and facetuned herself, but left me unedited!
She made herself look flawless and left me looking terrible off to the side, which was even worse now with her there in comparison. I couldn’t believe it. I called her and asked her how she could do that to me, and to take it down because she did not have my permission to post it, but she told me it had ‘too many likes in this amount of time’ to remove it.
Livid, I found a picture of us that I had taken before we decided to use her phone, where admittedly, we both looked terrible. I posted it and tagged her, leaving it unedited. I then woke up to a ton of messages from not only my sister, but my mother condemning me for my actions and putting my sister’s ‘career’ on the line.
The post only got a handful of likes, and only a few comments as well. She deleted the post of us two together, and told me to do the same, which I obliged – but now she and my mother are still angry and refusing to talk to me because I risked her ‘career’ in a ‘petty fit of jealousy’… I have to ask, AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Not Wanting To Name Our Baby "Karen"?
“My wife (28 F) and I (33 M) are pregnant with our second child. Our first child was a boy and we named him after my uncle.
Now it’s important to know that my uncle is like a father to me because my real dad was in and out of jail my whole childhood. My wife loves my uncle and they are very close too. Both of us happened to like my uncle’s name and since we found out our first kid was a boy, we thought why not honor this man who we both love so much?
We just found out that our second baby will be a girl. And my wife wants to name the new baby after her mom. Well, the problem is that her mom’s name was Karen. I don’t want to do this to my baby girl because of all the horrible stereotypes and jokes about this name.
We are both white and our daughter will obviously be white as well so I think that makes it even worse. I told my wife I wouldn’t name our baby Karen and she told me she really wanted to honor her mother like we honored my uncle.
I told her that was different, my uncle has a normal name, unlike Karen which is basically an insult/punchline. My wife says that lots of people named Karen are perfectly nice. She thinks it’s a beautiful name and we will teach our daughter to be kind to others so it doesn’t matter.
She wants one of her kids’ names to have a connection to her mom.
I said that she was behaving like an idiot for pretending it didn’t matter. Plus her mother died when my wife was a teenager so I have never met this woman so I don’t feel comfortable naming my daughter after her.
My wife said I was a jerk for calling her an idiot even though I didn’t actually call her an idiot, I only said that about the way she was behaving. I also suggested that we can use Karen as a middle name but she didn’t and said that she’s the mother so her opinion is more important.
She also said that since she ‘allowed’ me to choose our son’s name, I should let her choose this one’s name even though we both liked my uncle’s name and agreed to it. And since both kids will have my last name since I am the dad it’s not fair to her family.
So AITJ for trying to save my unborn baby from a life of misery and being teased at school? I guess I could have been more polite but she’s being really unreasonable and I can’t let her do this to my daughter.”
If you do name her Karen, maybe call her by a nickname?
32. AITJ For Not Defending My Friend's Wife From Him?
“I (32 f) have a friend, Jack (31 m). We are both married and have 4-year-old children. Jack and his wife Mae + kiddo are staying with us as we live in a popular holiday destination by the beach.
I like Mae a lot, I always have, but she has very strict ideas about how she does things with regard to her child, which is fine, except she gets annoyed when people around her don’t do the same. On more than one occasion I’ve had to remind her that my child is not hers and neither am I and I will do as I see fit.
Two days ago at breakfast, Mae suggested we take the kids to the zoo. I politely declined because firstly, I hate zoos, and second because I wanted to go into town, run some errands, and do some shopping, and I was planning to take kiddo with me.
I told Mae this and said she was welcome to come with us or take one of our cars to the zoo, whichever she preferred. Mae said she was sure my daughter would much rather go to the zoo. I said that might be true, but the zoo isn’t going anywhere and she will be fine spending the day with me.
Mae then said it would be boring for a child to be dragged around doing grown-up stuff all day and that as a mother why am I not willing to make sacrifices for my daughter?
I was about to reply when Jack jumped in and said ‘Because maybe she still wants to be a human being and have something to talk about when her daughter goes to bed. Having a child and a personality isn’t illegal’.
Mae snapped back that she was trying to be a good mother and give her child good memories and Jack said that was fine but Mae shouldn’t push that on me. Mae said she was just saying she finds it sad that I don’t put my time into my daughter, so Jack said: ‘I’m sure she finds all your Mary Poppins nonsense really boring but she’s got manners and doesn’t say anything so would you just give it a rest’.
I have never felt so awkward in my life. Mae kept looking at me like she thought I was going to say something but I was just there like, no I’m not getting involved in this. Eventually, my husband came out of his office and we all pretended the argument hadn’t happened.
I saw Mae later in the day and I could see she’d been crying. She went off on me for not defending her when Jack was saying all those things, saying I wasn’t a ‘girl’s girl’ and as a mother I should have stuck up for her.
I wasn’t going to argue with her since she’d clearly had an awful day so I just said I was sorry she and Jack were going through a rough time and that it wasn’t my intention to be the cause of any friction.
She’s now giving me the cold shoulder, and making a point of making her own ‘child-friendly’ plans since I prefer to have ‘adult time’. I don’t think I was wrong for not jumping in because first, that was not my fight, and two, Jack wasn’t wrong.
Was I supposed to step in on someone else’s marital argument?”
31. AITJ For Telling My Ex's Fiancée About What Happened To Us?
“Basically he is my ex-baby daddy if I can even call him that? My (F 22) & ex (M, 23, Let’s call him Dan) and I went out for about 6 months on/off when I was 18 and he was 19.
Consequently, I fell pregnant, and he made a huge jerk move and ghosted me after I told him. Due to a lot of stress from his actions & still living at home, just starting my bachelor’s. I lost the baby around 12 weeks im. I went to tell him but he had deleted and blocked me on everything but Messenger where I message about a month after ‘Don’t worry you’re off the hook, I lost the baby.
I hope that eases your stress’. Once I saw he had seen it I blocked him before he could even reply as I didn’t want to interact with him. Mind you he never once messaged me before.
So his fiancée (F 21, let’s call her Jen) & I had a mutual friend/co-worker.
It was their birthday, I went & so did she I did not know that this was Dan’s fiancée! Anyway, we got to talking and pretty much stuck with each other cause we didn’t know anyone else other than our mutual friend.
We were talking about our partners, explaining how we met them and all that, and somehow the conversation changed from that to our exes and how horrible things had ended with them.
I mentioned my ex and how he ghosted me when I got pregnant and all that. She said that was horrible, and then proceeded to say that it sounded like a similar situation to what her fiancé had been in. His ex ‘fell pregnant’ to trap him cause she found out he was going to end things and then pretended to lose the baby.
She then at one point mentioned his name and I realized who he was & I was the ‘fake pregnant’ ex!
I was livid and since both she and I had been drinking we were both a little intoxicated at this moment. I went off and started talking absolute trash about him and telling her that he lied about me.
I even went through my phone to show her proof that I was actually pregnant. As I still had screenshots of ultrasounds and doctors’ notes on my phone. I even went and showed her the multiple messages I had sent Dan as I never deleted any text messages even the failed to deliver ones as he had blocked me so I couldn’t message him.
I ended up going home quickly after not giving her the chance to take in everything to respond to what I told her.
About a month later I was getting a bunch of nasty texts from my Dan’s friends saying how much of a jerk I am & how dare I stoop so low just to get to him a month before his wedding.
I was extremely confused cause I had no clue what was going on. I asked what they meant but was obviously blocked as the message was never sent. I later got a friend request from Jen as well as a message request from her saying that she had called off the wedding and she apologized for any rude messages I may get as I am the reason they split.
Because she didn’t want to marry a liar.”
30. AITJ For Quickly Slamming The Bathroom Door Shut On My Mother's Friend?
“I (female-to-male, 19) live with my mother (55 f), significant other (19 m), and sister (31 f). My mother has always let her friends-in-need stay at our home for a few days at a time, which is perfectly fine since she’s been doing it since before I was born, until recently.
Her friend ‘N’ (43 f) has been coming over for maybe three days, leaves for two, then comes back. I get it, we’re still in a global crisis. Sometimes life is hard and people just need a little help. I never had an issue with her until she started getting a little too comfortable.
The thing is, she just opens the bathroom door (there’s no lock so we knock) while someone is in there, no knocking at all! One day I heard my SO scream and when I opened my door (adjacent to the bathroom door) I saw her just staring at him, I asked her what she was doing since the shower curtains were TRANSPARENT and she said ‘I need to pee, but I got caught off guard by your SO, he shouldn’t scare me like this!’ I told her to get out and wait until he’s done but she insisted she needed to pee now.
I pulled her out, shut the door, and told her she was making him uncomfortable In his own home. She said he doesn’t need someone to speak for him and he can tell her how he feels to her face. I told her to knock because this wasn’t her home.
Onto the issue, I was showering today and when I got out, the door slightly opened. Now I have extremely quick reflexes and immediately hit the door shut, I’ll admit pretty hard, but I had no clothes on! She screamed, I quickly covered myself and opened the door.
She started screaming at me. I tried to get her to calm down but I was also mad that she again invaded my personal space, I told her it was her fault for not only not knocking, but just opening the door in general as she knows we keep our bathroom door open if it’s not in use and that she needs to take the hint.
I told my mother who agreed she needed to stop doing that but admitted I was out of line for slamming the door in her face, and that I should have said I was in there, I tried to explain previous incidents and that she doesn’t even give me time to say anything with how she basically whips the door open, my mother acknowledged it and still said I need to apologize for slamming the door.
AITJ? I don’t want to apologize because it’s literally invading my privacy, and making me on edge in my own home!”
29. AITJ For Setting Up Outdoor Equipment Inside My House?
“My husband (35 m) has ADHD and I (36 f) am autistic. We have a son (9 m) who has ADHD and autism and a daughter (7 f) who is also autistic.
One thing we all have in common is sensory processing disorder as a result, (SPD is basically our 7 senses that we learned in school, they are just received differently and can cause problems if we get too much or too little). Quite a few senses are easy, I’m averse to sounds so I wear headphones when I’m around people, my son only likes some textures of clothing, etc. Vestibular input is something all four of us are seekers of, always wanting more.
We live somewhere that gets very cold in the winter and honestly, we used to spend our days in our home bouncing around as going outside was a no-go.
At the start of 2019, we decided we were done with a ‘normal’ house. We now have a trampoline in our entryway (tallest ceilings) an indoor jungle gym in our dining room (not a formal family anyway), a few doorway swings in the house, sensory swings in the living room, a fairly large foam pit in the basement, essentially we have been told our house is an indoor play area for children, but all four of us have been thriving ever since getting these (plus they are fun on occasion).
My son had some friends over and they were playing with everything. No biggie. It is what it is for. One of the boys was swinging in a door frame (think swing at a playground just in a door frame) another boy walked past him and got kicked and knocked to the ground.
When I was dropping all of the boys off at their homes I informed his dad (who answered the door) that he had gotten kicked in the chest by another boy while playing on the swings, and got knocked to the ground, but he seemed fine.
Dad told him he knew better than walking in front of the swings, but his mom heard and got mad at me for letting her son play outside when it was so cold. I told her that we had some inside equipment one of which was a doorframe swing.
She made a group chat with all the other moms in it, and soon I was added to it and asked if they could see the equipment we had, I had them all over and showed them everything, what it does, and my daughter even demonstrated a bunch of it.
Most of the moms found it cool but 3 thought it was very irresponsible of me to have it in my house as these are outside things, so I am curious what others think.
Am I the jerk for having a bunch of outdoor equipment inside?”
28. AITJ For Wanting To Know Why We're Being Excluded From Our Friends' Life Events?
“My husband & I (43 f)have found ourselves being left out with more & more as the years have gone on from our friend group. Or what we thought was our friend group.
My husband has been friends with the same guys since high school.
I moved to live with him after college, and they all became my friends too. We even all lived together. Since my husband & I had been together since we were in college we married a good 5 years before the rest of them did.
They met girls & got married & we all started having families.
Having met & hung out together when they were going out with the guys, the girls are a lot closer to each other than they are to me. It never dawned on me to be an issue, because I’m super close to their husbands.
To start off, we were invited to everything. Birthday parties, parent’s night out dinners, girl’s nights. Slowly, we have found ourselves being invited to less & less. We’d watch as they posted pictures of our group of friends doing things together without us.
I mean it felt like one moment they were throwing us a baby shower & letting me host my husband’s 40th birthday party at their house & the next moment they were going camping without & not inviting us to their kids’ birthday parties.
So we asked our best friend, my husband’s best man for the next time they were making plans, if he could bring up we were feeling left out. I know it was a lot to ask him, but like we said at that point we were confused why they were forgetting us.
When the next event came along and we still weren’t included we were past confused & now hurt.
I told my husband I was finally going to speak up. He told me it wasn’t the best idea, but he wouldn’t stop me.
So I clicked sad faces on social media posts of their trip we weren’t invited to. Immature, I am well aware. I deleted them, but not before they saw them.
Thinking maybe they didn’t understand why I was sending sad faces, I decided to send them this message (from Messenger):
‘I know I’m not showing a huge level of maturity with the sad faces. But I have to admit Jake and I are pretty hurt. We feel like we don’t get included in a lot of things that you all do as a group these days.
And I don’t know why. If we made some kind of mistake at some point? Are we annoying? Is it our kids? I know Jake especially because those are his guys. And he doesn’t know what he might have done to fall out.
He even went as far as to say something to the guys last year about it. But I’ll stop being a crybaby. I just wanted you to know why.’
From that, things then went down.
According to them my husband and I were being butthurt their words exactly.
They were all best friends & if they didn’t want to hang out with us they didn’t have to. There was definitely a bit of a fight.
Our best friend told my husband that his wife would NEVER forgive us for my message.
That she will hold the grudge forever.
I really am a jerk for wanting to know WHY we weren’t being included?”
27. AITJ For Being Upset About Having To Look After Kids At My Cousin's Child-Free Wedding?
“I (28 F) am one of the youngest out of 14 cousins. My oldest cousin is 50 (blame my parents for being the youngest and for having kids way late I guess) and I’m a single mum to two kids (ages 6 and 4).
Recently one of the cousins nearer in age to me (32 M) got married in Scotland and said it would be a child-free wedding. Although that’s frustrating for me as I live in the south of England, I bit my tongue and paid for the childcare for two nights.
When I got to the hotel venue on Friday, I noticed that many of our older cousins’ kids were there. They’re all teenagers (I don’t know exactly how old but they range from about 13 to 17?). This made me mad, to be honest, but I didn’t want to say anything because everyone was celebrating.
The wedding was beautiful but a LOT of the adults got quite wasted towards the end of the evening, including the parents of the kids who were there. I wasn’t really drinking anyway so I started looking out for those kids. You could tell that they were kinda confused as to how they should handle their parents, (e.g. a couple of the younger ones were telling their mum to stop drinking) and a few looked visibly distressed. Before I could intervene, however, the older ones seemed to chaperone the younger ones up to bed before (I assume) going to bed themselves.
The next morning (today) I was feeling extra grouchy about the situation at breakfast and people started picking up on it. My cousin (the groom) straight up asked me what was wrong and I just couldn’t bite my tongue anymore. I said it was one thing to have a child-free wedding so the adults could enjoy themselves, but it was another to bring kids and then not take care of them when I ended up looking out for them and when I had paid for childcare for my own two at home.
The whole table went quiet and my cousin couldn’t look at me. Then some of my older cousins (the hungover parents) started shouting at me for ruining the festivities, that they all had a great time that I had now permanently ruined with this, and that their kids were old enough to come to a childfree wedding because they were teenagers, not little kids, and it’s not up to me who gets invited to a wedding or not.
I do agree with this last point, but that doesn’t change them being hypocritical. I shouted at them that they were all hypocrites for calling it a childfree wedding when it’s only some people’s children invited, went back to my room to collect my stuff, and went home.
Since then some of my aunts and uncles have texted me that I should be ashamed of myself for snapping like that and that I ruined the most important day of my cousin’s life over something as small as my kids being invited or not.
Maybe I should have waited to say it or not said it at all to be polite. AITJ?
Edit: The invite said something like ‘So we can have a fun time, we ask you to leave your kids at home.’ There wasn’t an age-specific on the invite, but it was surprising to me to see my younger relatives at the event when the invite said no kids.”
26. AITJ For Excluding Someone From A Camping Trip And Telling Her To Make Some Lady Friends?
“I (26 M) moved to a new city a few years ago and when I did I met Kendall (27 F). We met online but we realized that we had both just moved to the city. And used each other as tour guides/friends to meet people.
We’ve been close friends ever since. We hang out 2-3 times a week and would text throughout the day. Eventually, my friend moved to the city and I met more guys and we all hang out together. Kendall hangs out with our group. She doesn’t have many female friends and enjoys being ‘one of the guys’.
Kendall is highly attractive, very outgoing, and has a fun personality. Whenever we go out guys will hit on her, but she pretends we are together to ‘stop creeps’. She wingman’s for me sometimes. It’s been a good partnership.
So I caught feelings.
Yes, I’m stupid, I know. I told Kendall this about a month ago and she let me down nicely. Saying that she ‘valued our friendship too much’. I told her ‘totally get it, no worries’. I tried to take the rejection and not make her think I wasn’t her friend.
We still text, but we only hang out about once a week now. I also don’t text her all day anymore. This wasn’t purposeful. I just started to focus more time/energy on the girls I was seeing romantically. Kendall has been mad at me since.
Whenever we get together – ‘Nice for you to be able to fit me into your busy schedule’ in a sarcastic tone. I’ve tried explaining to her that I need space to get over my feelings.
I’ve been talking to this girl for the past 2 weeks.
We decided to go camping. I invited my friends and their significant others. I decided to not invite Kendall. My reasoning is Kendall can sometimes rub girls the wrong way. She’s a trashtalker so a lot of girls think she is flirting with their significant others or ‘peacocking’.
The girl I’m talking to is very sensitive, so I don’t want her to be intimidated by Kendall.
I also don’t fully feel okay being around Kendall yet. It’s a lot to explain but my chances would definitely be better if Kendall didn’t come.
So Kendall asked about my plans this weekend. I told her I had plans with a girl. She read it and didn’t respond. She texted my roommate Dallas and asked him what he was doing. Dallas (not knowing) told her. I then got an essay from Kendall.
She went off on me. Saying that I was a trashy friend, that I stopped including her in my life and quit making an effort to ask about her day. I told her that wasn’t true. But I was seeing someone now and she needed to be cool knowing that meant I wouldn’t be as available for her.
And that maybe she needed to make some lady friends if she wanted someone to vent to all the time. She would hurt my chances if she went so that’s why I didn’t invite her. She called me a jerk and then went and told Dallas she wasn’t being invited because she turned me down.
I told my friends that wasn’t the case and explained my reasoning. But some still think I’m being a jerk. AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Uninviting My Friend From My Birthday Celebration Because Of His Mom's Rules?
“I (22 f) recently celebrated my 22nd birthday. I had a small party with my group of friends. We went out for hibachi then came back to my place to play games and have dessert etc. I originally had 8 friends invited, but I dropped it down to 7 due to one of the guys’ mom who decided to text me a list of rules that I had to follow on my birthday in order for her son to come along.
Mind you, we are all adults (I’m actually the youngest member), and after looking over the rules I was baffled and mad because the rules included that ‘We couldn’t talk about adult topics everything had to be PG, we had to have two chaperones of her picking, None of us could drink, we all had to confess our sins before we ate, her son had to bring his severely autistic brother with him.
He wasn’t allowed to hang out afterward with us; we couldn’t have any dessert, no couples allowed, we had to pick a restaurant close to her house, and no gayness.’
I looked at my friend’s mom and shook my head, before calling my friend and telling him that ‘He couldn’t come because I wasn’t going to follow his mom’s rules’.
I felt bad but it was my birthday and my mom had already set a reservation for a different restaurant. None of us are drinkers, but we all swear like pirates and I didn’t want to babysit a kid I didn’t know. Plus I’m a lesbian with a woman significant other, and I’m an atheist.
My friend understood and felt awful for what his mom was doing and said ‘he’s sorry’ but his mom kept blowing up my phone calling me a horrible person because her autistic son was looking forward to going out, and that I must be against the mental handicaps, and that I was a selfish brat, and entitled brat.
So AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Taking Back My Husband's Promise To My Best Friend About Babysitting Her Daughter?
“My best friend Tammy (28 F) and I (31 F) have been best friends since we were 13.
She has a 6-year-old daughter and I am child-free by choice. She recently got a new job that she starts in a month and was complaining to me about how she didn’t know how she’d be able to work her new hours with no one to watch her daughter.
I didn’t say much about this and kind of brushed it off. It seemed like she was setting up a conversation where I would offer to babysit.
She and my husband work at the same place right now and as she was telling him he offered us to watch her while she works.
I was very annoyed at this and said the only reason he did this was because he knew I would be the one to watch her since he works two jobs and isn’t home much. When I talked to her on the phone she told me about my husband saying that we would help her and at the moment I felt bad so I just said when we could.
They were both in a work meeting at their job when the manager asked who could pick up night shifts and my friend said only if he watched my baby and pointed at my husband and laughed.
At her new job, the hours are very sporadic and change from 12-hour day shifts to 12-hour night shifts.
Right now she works for just above minimum wage and this new job is almost a $8 an hour raise. I feel bad for not wanting to babysit but I have no kids for a reason. I enjoy my free time and I am a very introverted person.
I work 830-5 and I usually go to the gym after work until 630-7. I go to school part-time online so I use the rest of my time to either do my homework or play video games. I would have to wake up very early to accommodate my friend’s daughter and pick her up before 7 a.m. since this is when her shift starts.
The hours start from 7 am-7 pm so I would also have to watch her from 5 pm-7 pm when I get out of work so I would have to alter my schedule and skip the gym.
I feel selfish but I’m not sure how to set a boundary with this friend.
I feel like I am turning into her therapist as well she will call me and talk for at least half an hour complaining about every issue going on in her life. I am her only friend and she has cut off all other friends because she felt they wronged her in some way.
Every time I see her call I feel mentally drained and don’t want to answer. I want to be friends, not a babysitter and a therapist. I feel bad because she doesn’t have a lot of help from her family either so it’s just her.
WIBTJ if I rescinded my husband’s offer for us to babysit?”
NTJ
23. AITJ For Shaming My Homophobic Aunt In Front Of Our Family?
“I (21 M) was invited to a family gathering yesterday, to which I brought my significant other (22 M) of around 8 months. Some of my family members are still lowkey homophobic and this includes my aunt (42 F) from my mother’s side.
She only knew that I was gay and hadn’t met my SO till now, but when she saw him, she quickly grabbed me and took me into a corner to talk in private. There, she told me why would I bring such an unholy and lifeless-looking person here and that she was afraid he might be possessed and intending to harm our family.
I told her that my SO isn’t possessed and that he only looks like that cause he has albinism. She then asked me ‘Oh, is this like, an STD for gay guys ?’
I won’t lie, I got pretty annoyed at how she formulated that question, but I still explained to her what albinism actually is, AKA a genetic disorder where a person has less melanin than usual in their body, which makes them have white hair and very pale skin (like my SO).
I explained to her that people are born with this disease, it’s not contagious and it’s not a STD. She seemed to understand, so I decided to drop the subject.
However, at dinner, she suggested (in front of the entire family no less ) that we should join her church in order to ‘wash our sins’ and ‘try to get to the right path’ and then she turned to my SO and said: ‘However, I’m afraid that not even our church can cure your unholy STD’.
My SO looked embarrassed (and also confused) and I just snapped at her and told her: ‘I told you already, albinism isn’t an STD and maybe you would’ve known that if just once in your life you would’ve opened a book other than the Bible’.
Some of my family members started snickering, which made my aunt cry and quickly run away from the dinner, with my uncle following after her. My SO and I got up and were on our way out (as we didn’t want to be part of this circus any longer), but my mom stopped me and said that my comment was really out of line.
I pointed out to her that my aunt’s homophobic behavior started all of this and while my mom said that while she was definitely in the wrong as well, my comment not only insulted her but also insulted their religion and that we both owe each other an apology.
I wasn’t in the mood to have yet another conversation with her so I just decided to leave. My SO obviously isn’t very keen to go to other of my family gatherings, especially cause now he’s afraid that my family will keep assuming that he has an STD.
I’m still very mad with my aunt and I don’t even want to speak with her, much less apologize to her, but I know my mom and her are really close and she would be upset if we don’t end up making amends with each other.
AITJ? Should I just******* up and apologize to my aunt and hope that she’ll do as well ?”
22. AITJ For Wanting To Sit On The Shotgun Seat?
“I (14 f) am the second oldest of 4, Will (23 m), Eve (11 f), and Hadley (8 f). Will, Eve, and I are full siblings with Hadley being our dad (45 m) and stepmum’s daughter.
Me and Eve go to Dad’s every weekend and half the holidays, Will lives with his partner so he isn’t really involved. We are in the UK.
Usually, my dad likes to drive us down about 3 hours away from where we live to see our uncle.
That would be fine if the middle seatbelt wasn’t broken. It has been broken since August last year and because I’m the ‘biggest’ my dad says I should go in the middle. My dad is a dangerous driver and I have once been flung forward from his stupid driving.
I told my mum and she suggested that I don’t get in the car and my stepmum can sit in the middle and I can sit in the front. I told my dad this idea and he said ‘Absolutely not, it is unfair for a child to sit in the front and an adult to sit in the back.
Besides, your stepmum gets car sick’. I also get car sick so I was really annoyed.
Yesterday (Saturday) my dad planned to go to my uncle’s house for Easter (we would stay the night) because all of my dad’s side would be there. I refused to get in the car and my dad was shouting at me telling me to just get in or he would leave.
He did end up leaving and my mum lives 45 minutes away from my dad and she was at work, so I had to call my brother’s partner (Betty, 22 f) to pick me up and ask to stay at their house for the night because my mum had a 12-hour shift that day.
They were fine with me staying over. They didn’t go to my uncle’s house because they had a baby (4 months) who needed oxygen and had a hospital appointment later that night so they didn’t go to my uncles.
I might be a jerk because I was getting messages from cousins and other relatives saying I ruined it because I wasn’t there and it put my dad in a bad mood.
My brother doesn’t think I’m a jerk and neither does my mum. My sisters (mainly Eve) said I should have just got in the middle because my dad was really angry all the drive down.”
21. AITJ For Choosing To Live With My Half-Brother Instead Of My Sister?
“My (16 M) stepmother (47 F) and father (47 M) ran a small shop in our neighborhood that has recently been doing very badly, for a number of reasons I won’t get into.
Because of this, they no longer have the money for me to stay with them and support me. I’m supposed to live with my sister (26 F) who is married (29 M) and has two kids (7 F and 4 M).
I’ve never liked my sister, and she never liked me, so I’m pretty sure my parents made a deal with her or something to take me in.
She’s extremely egotistic and constantly insults me and makes snide comments about my height, appearance, social skills etc, etc. Usually, I just pretend she doesn’t exist every time we have family reunions and it’s never really a problem. It’s just a mutual thing that we hate each other and don’t want anything to do with each other.
My half-brother (22 M) (my biological mother and her husband) and I have a good relationship. He was far more of an older sibling than my sister was. I visit him often and we’re generally quite close.
Once he heard about everything, he offered to have me stay with him.
So for background information, I have a scholarship exam coming up, and I’d really like to get it, so I’ve been studying nonstop each day. If I were to stay with my sister, it would definitely affect my studying plan (2 kids, her husband, and she are somehow always ‘rearranging the house’ and they’re really big on dogs that bark a lot).
So I was relieved to hear that my half-brother would be willing to let me stay at his place.
I thought my parents would be really happy too, but they seem really against it because they think he’s a bad influence (he’s an artist and very flamboyant) and I’m being ungrateful by playing favorites.
They’re Asian too, so they’re very big on the whole ‘b***d runs thicker than water’ thing, so they firmly want me to go with my sister. My sister is also mad because she says she’s already being generous by letting me stay at her place and not wanting to stay with her shows her that I’m taking advantage of her kindness.
I can see how it may seem ungrateful that I chose someone over my sister but I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Everyone says that I’m in the wrong for being selfish but honestly, I don’t see how that’s the case. AITJ?
Edit: My half-brother and I share the same bio mom and my sister and I share the same bio mom and dad. As for how I’m younger than my half-brother, there was a period in time when my bio mom and dad got back together but then split up again.
Currently, my bio mom has another husband who’s my half-brother’s bio dad whom she married after my mum and dad divorced. Then THEY divorced and my mom got back together with my bio dad. Then another divorce and my half-brother’s dad and bio mom got back together.”
20. AITJ For Getting My Neighbor's Car Towed For Blocking Our Driveway?
“My fiancée (30 f) and I (29 m) barely moved into this house a few months ago. The first week we noticed a car parked right on our driveway which obviously didn’t belong. When we went outside the lady who lived next door asked if this was okay.
Her house is right at the corner of the street and there’s no driveway. She said the last owner was fine with letting her park there so she hoped we wouldn’t mind. Our driveway is big enough for two cars so we said for now it was okay.
After our son was born and I had to go back to work we decided to buy a second car so it’s easier for her to get around. All 3 cars didn’t fit so we had to tell our neighbor she couldn’t park there anymore. Ever since it’s become a whole issue.
Once she was parked behind me when I was leaving early in the morning so I had to go banging on her door at 6 am. She had the audacity to be mad for waking her up. I reminded her she couldn’t park there again so we thought she got the message.
2nd time was when we were on our way home from the park. She was already parked there so we would’ve had to park behind her. I went to go knock and she said she was just putting her groceries away since we weren’t home and the driveway was closer.
This last time when it happened my car wasn’t working so my brother came to pick me up early.
My fiancée had to take our son to his 4-month appointment but the lady’s d**m car was parked right behind her so there was no way for her to pull out the driveway.
She told me the neighbor wasn’t answering the door.
It got late so she had to reschedule his appointment, I came home after and called the cops to come to deal with this because I was just so tired. Since they couldn’t reach her they did end up towing her car.
Once she found out she was at my door angry. So she was a few blocks down at a friend’s house which is why she didn’t answer but now she says she’s stressed because she doesn’t have the money to get her car back and it’s our fault.
Since both our cars were there she assumed we were home and if anything we would have used my car to pull out of the driveway. My neighbor kept complaining about how messed up we were going to that extreme making her lose her car when she absolutely needed it.
We have just ignored her since then but now every time we step out she glares right at us.
I’ve had my car towed before too so we know it’s a nightmare of a fee to get it out of impound. That’s why I ask if I’m the jerk.
It’s been almost a week since this happened with still no sign of her car parked on the street so obviously she hasn’t got it back yet.”
19. AITJ For Reporting A Colleague To HR For Commenting On My Haircut?
“I (28 f) have always had long hair, but a few weeks ago I decided to get a buzzcut.
One of my colleagues reacted… not so well to the change. When he saw me he went ‘Oh my god, no. Just no. I can see your SCALP!’ to which I replied ‘Yeah, and I could see yours every single day for the past few years (he’s bald), and you didn’t hear me complain.
Maybe return the courtesy, yeah?’
He wasn’t outright rude after that, but for weeks he kept making comments about how he hoped I was going to grow my hair out again, and that my hair was so beautiful when it was long.
I mean, a man trying to police a woman’s looks is nothing new around here, and we’ve been always friendly before, so at first I only kept asking him to stop with the comments, but he didn’t.
Then once had a longer talk with him in a firmer tone, and he backed off and even apologized.
Then a day or so later he started again, except in a joking tone, which is just horse crap dressed as a bride. Every time I told him off he went ‘Oh it was just a joke, we already had this talk’, and I really didn’t know how to deal with such blatant idiocy so I reported him to our HR department.
My colleagues were surprised and told me I overreacted, and that there were more levels of escalation before going to HR, like ‘You could have talked to him, make him understand you’re serious’, or ‘You could have just threatened him with going to HR instead of actually doing it’.
I tried the first one, and he didn’t take me seriously, so I don’t believe he would have taken my threats seriously either.
At the same time, I don’t know what kind of effect this incident will have on his career, as we don’t get a lot of cases like this in my company.
I don’t want him fired, I just want him to keep the nonsense confined within his skull.
AITJ?”
18. WIBTJ For Hiding My Skincare Products?
“I am a college student who has recently come home for the summer after living in the dorms by myself. It’s also been a hard adjustment for me to go from being on my own to now having everything be managed by my family.
I say that because I don’t know if this is me being selfish and bratty from being used to doing my own thing or if my feelings are justified.
I am someone who cares a lot about skincare and body care because I deal with issues like acne and eczema.
Since I got a job at 16 I’ve invested into products that specifically help my skin and it can get very expensive. Before leaving for school my parents would use whatever face cleanser, serums, body washes, lotions, etc. I had and it happened in 3 different ways:
a) They like it and continue to use it (even tho they don’t have acne and skin problems like me).
b) They say it’s too much for their own face or skin and keep using it (mostly with my face wash).
or c) they use it and don’t like it and don’t use it again.
A and B happen the most and they never ask. So the issue came when I recently came home and I saw I was running out of different products. So I went to the store and bought a new face cleanser, body wash, and lotion.
This stuff because it deals with certain issues for my skin was quite expensive. We have a closeted shelf that’s like a pantry in the bathroom that people will put their things in for storage. That’s where everybody’s products will go. I was seeing that my face wash was being used and that my new body wash was being used a lot and very wastefully.
I let them have the 4 others I bought in the past home from school which I have been letting them use and wanted this new one for myself. I know it will be used up and gone soon and I’m tired of it.
I understand my parents provide for me but this is something I do with my own money.
They know it’s important to me and criticize what I buy and then still use it. I do move into my apartment in the city of my school in August but this is something I know is gonna ‘I don’t know’ me until then.
I do buy things for the house and also specifically for them in mind. We have no financial issues where they can’t but their own but I still look out for them. I think I just want to put away my special products and give them just the regular ones.
The issue is they’ll see and know I’m hiding my things and will feel some type of way about that. I have tried in the past and they have confronted me about it so I haven’t done it since.”
17. AITJ For Not Giving My Kids' Mom Budget For Gas?
“I live on the West Coast where gas is over $6 a gallon.
It doesn’t affect me much because I work from home 4 days a week and drive a Prius. My ex on the other hand drives a Lexus SUV and drives every day to work.
We also have three boys – 7, 9, and 11 – who are very busy with extracurricular activities that require a lot of driving.
We have 50/50 custody.
My ex makes about 15% more than I do but I only pay a couple hundred dollars a month for child support because our kids are on her company’s insurance plans. They’re very good but pricey. Other than that, we are responsible for paying for different things.
I save an incredible amount from working from home plus I make more net than last year. I use those extra funds to pay for things that my ex would normally pay for. For example, I paid most of their summer camp bills as opposed to half.
My reasoning is that I was to be moderate and considerate to my ex so I can expect the same.
This week she told me I have to start giving her a budget for gas. She’s been spending $250 a month on gas. I told her that I was already picking up extra costs like camp.
It’s not my fault that she wanted a luxury SUV and everything is getting wildly more expensive.
She went on about how her car is safe, needs the space for three kids, etc. It wasn’t for vanity.
Sure, I could give her $50 or $100 a month for gas.
That’d be like my monthly credit card reward money. No skin off my back. My issue is that I don’t want to pay for her car maintenance. I’d never buy an SUV. It’s irresponsible if you can’t afford the gas.
Plus I have to put a boundary on helping out more because it will become an expectation.
I know she wouldn’t help me out with gas if I drove an SUV.”
16. AITJ For Inquiring About My Benefit Enrollment Status?
“I work at a large company in a fairly high-up position. When I was first hired, I was already working full-time at another company, where I received benefits like health insurance, etc. My new manager was very clearly in need of more full-time employees and offered me an even more appealing benefits package in exchange I quit my previous job and went full-time for the new company.
I agreed, quit my other job, and therefore lost all my important benefits.
This was in February. Since I’ve become full-time, I’ve had many conversations (spaced out so as to give her time and not be pushy) with my manager about helping me enroll in benefits or updating my work status so it shows I’m eligible.
For months, we’ve talked about it but she’s done nothing and honestly, I’ve grown not to like her much (but that’s a whole different story). It is now June and I still have not received ‘full-time status’ AKA eligibility to enroll.
Many times she has told me that if we just have a conversation, she won’t remember what I told her, and I must email so she can remember. A couple of days ago she ghosted and didn’t respond to ANY communication, email, text, or phone call.
This wasn’t even about benefits, it was all about daily tasks. When I saw her next, I again brought up the benefits as I had recently been sick. She was completely flustered and angry because she felt overworked, so she said she’d ‘do it when she got home’.
I’ve hit my breaking point because I think this is very important and should’ve been handled a lot sooner.
I sent a polite email to her and CC’d her boss, who I also interviewed with, saying ‘I am emailing as an inquiry to confirm my full-time employment status so I may be eligible for benefits’ and nothing else.
She immediately CALLS me and SCOLDS me claiming I made her look like she can’t communicate with her employees and that she’s been fed up with us for quite some time now. Keep in mind, most of us aren’t fond of her for many reasons, but I wouldn’t intentionally be nasty.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Refusing To Let My Mother-In-Law Stay Over Again?
“Hubby and I have been together for 5 years.
We live roughly 6 hours from her, so she doesn’t visit often. When we drove to visit her, she insisted on having time with my husband alone, without me. They would drop me off somewhere so they could spend time together alone (for roughly 3 hours).
She then came to visit and stayed in our bedroom. I am reserved and like my own space, and she became offended when I wanted to relax away from her for a bit during the day. She took herself off and sulked in our bedroom when I wanted some time to myself.
This was when my relationship with her started to take a turn for the worse.
It ended up with me feeling like she was actively doing things to be spiteful and make my life hard. I’m a vegan and she wanted us all to visit restaurants with no vegan options.
She ‘accidentally’ ordered me a latte with cow milk. She would make passive-aggressive comments about me, in front of me. My husband stood there not defending me at all.
I set firm boundaries and said I could not have her stay in the house again.
We have developed an ‘OK’ relationship, and we need distance in order to maintain that relationship.
She has now pushed that boundary when my husband and I went through a rough patch (which he was open with her about), told him she wanted to come and stay next week and he told me ‘She’s coming in’.
It wasn’t a discussion, he said she’s coming to say. Despite me saying previously that she cannot.
It feels disrespectful that they have gone behind my back and planned this when my husband and I have had a rough patch. It feels like she used that as a way when my husband was emotionally vulnerable.
AITJ for refusing to let her stay?”
14. AITJ For Not Abiding By My Mom's "House Rules"?
“So I (21 m) am about to be a junior in college. I stay in on-campus housing but go home during the summer. I do visit my mom for really short periods throughout the year but mostly for summertime and long breaks, I’d stay with my dad.
Recently though, my dad passed away, so this summer I’m staying with my mom and my two little sisters (13 and 15).
I love my mom, but the problem with staying with her is that she gets butthurt when I don’t spend enough time with her or if I do anything she doesn’t like.
I’ve been home for about 2 weeks and have some friends who still live in town so I’ve been catching up with them but my mom always wants to know who I’m with and what’s going on. She’s not a Christian or anything but she doesn’t agree with drinking, smoking, or anything even though I’m 21 and it’s legal in my state.
She’s already told me she doesn’t want me to be getting wasted, high, partying, or doing anything like that while I’m staying with her.
The last few nights I’ve been coming home kinda late and she waits up for me just to ‘confront’ me about it.
If I come home high or if she can smell it on me she gets all upset and says that I’m not abiding by her ‘house rules’. She woke me up this morning and said we need to set some ground rules since I can’t listen to them the first time apparently.
She said that she’s not okay with me staying out as long as I do and just ‘doing whatever I want’. She said I’m a bad influence to my sisters and I told her that’s totally fine but the thing is I don’t do any of that stuff at home.
I do it at a friend’s house or something. I don’t bring any of that stuff around and I only come home sober now. She said her point was that she didn’t want me to do it AT ALL and that when I was staying with her I had to abide by her house rules because it’s ‘bad for my sisters to be exposed to that’.
I don’t feel like I’m super noisy when I come home at night and it’s not like I’m doing anything in front of them so I really don’t see the problem. I’m an adult with my own money but my mom seems to think I’m being disrespectful.
I just don’t see how she should be able to control my actions when I’m not around. AITJ about this situation?
Edit: I AM being discreet. At first I wasn’t but now I am. If I do come home late it’s super quiet and I’d never bring any substance around my little sisters.
I don’t come home wasted or high anymore but she doesn’t want me doing any of that at ALL that’s the issue. Even if I’m away from home and nowhere near her.”
13. AITJ For Threatening To Call The Police On My Stepson's Grandma?
“My husband has full custody of his eleven-year-old son because my stepson’s mother is an addict and currently on probation in a completely different state with no visitation rights. Her parents have no legal rights to see my stepson, but my husband allows them to even though they are rude and combative.
My husband doesn’t allow my stepson to spend the night, but he made an exception for the fourth of July because my stepson wanted to set off fireworks with his cousins who were visiting the grandparents. My husband worked the next day and explained to the grandparents that I would be picking my stepson up first thing in the morning, otherwise the sleepover wouldn’t happen.
I got there the morning of the fifth at 9 AM and was told to come back later because they just started breakfast. I refused and said I would get my stepson breakfast but we needed to leave because I had things to do. My husband told them his son needed to be ready by nine.
My stepson’s grandma basically refused to hand him over and I said that I would call the police.
Grandma said she had more of a right to stepson than me and I was on her property so she could call the police. I laughed at her and said my husband has full custody and she has no rights.
I said that if she didn’t hand my stepson over my husband would call, my stepson would be retrieved and there would be no more visits.
She went and got him. My stepson said he had fun with the fireworks. Later, without the adrenaline of the argument, I wonder if I went too far.
Maybe I could have just waited half an hour and then asked again. I know my husband wanted my stepson picked up at nine, but 9:30 wouldn’t have ruined any plans, and it seems my stepson did enjoy his time with his grandparents. Even if they are rude and hateful to me, that relationship is still important to him.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Extra Plane Seat To An Oversized Pregnant Woman For Free?
“I planned my family vacation 4 months ahead. My son was supposed to fly with me but he got sick the last week of school so I had him isolate for 10 days. Because of work my husband is gonna meet us at our destination. Anyway, my kid got sick and stayed home with his dad until they left for vaycay.
I left on vacation on my normal leave day. Since I was supposed to have my son with me, I had an extra plane seat next to me. I hate traveling cause it’s soooo uncomfortable. I was pretty excited to have an extra plane seat so I could sit comfortably.
Once I got on the plane I sat in the middle seat, this lady sat down next to me. Once we got in the air I switched my seat to the window seat and put some of my stuff down on the middle seat. The lady next to me said I was not allowed to take two seats but I told her I actually paid for both seats.
She then asked if she could take my extra seat cause she said she was overweight and pregnant and the airplane seats were uncomfortable for her. I told her she could have it as long she paid me for the seat.
She tried to get the flight attendant to give my seat up but I showed her that I bought both seats.
She started getting hyped with me, calling all sorta nasty names… trying to get other passengers on her side. I told her that I don’t care she’s pregnant and none of her aches and pains are none of my concern. After 30 min of her nonsense, she eventually gave up.
But for 5 hours straight she’d give me nasty looks while I sat in comfort. Anyways am I the jerk for not giving my extra seat?
EDIT: It was a 3 am flight. I had both tickets on me. The ticket attendant scanned both tickets without realizing it.
Alsooo… the flight wasn’t full. All rows were mostly filled with some seats unoccupied. If a flight attendant did move her, she’d be stuck near someone else.”
11. AITJ For Acting Like My Wife's Son's Father?
“My wife (27 f) and I (29 m) first met one another three years ago through our children (6 m and 5 f), who are in the same grade and very close friends.
We began a relationship a few months after being good friends, and have been together ever since. I’m incredibly in love with her, she’s the most beautiful person ever inside and out, and I’m very close with her son as well, who I treat just like I would my own.
His father, however, I had never met until recently.
My wife told me her side of the story, that she met her son’s father, who we’ll call Joseph, while the two of them were seventeen. They had a ‘whirlwind romance’, as she likes to call it, and went out on and off for a few years.
Eventually, when my wife was 21, she got pregnant. Joseph was livid when he found out and accused my wife of trying to trap her in a relationship when he didn’t want one. He left her and went completely no-contact, and she hasn’t heard from him since, and never received child support either, causing her to have to drop out of college to have enough funds to keep a roof over their heads.
After hearing that, I was just incredulous. How could this guy do that to her? My wife is an incredible person with a heart of gold, I can’t imagine my life without her anymore, and it breaks my heart to think of what she went through thanks to him.
Recently, though, he’s decided that he wants to be involved with their lives again.
At our son’s sixth birthday party recently, Joseph showed up. He apparently was invited by my SIL, who felt bad for him not ‘being able’ to see his son and the mother of his child, despite his complete absence.
When he spotted my wife and her son together, he called out to them and asked his kid to ‘come give daddy a hug,’ and was furious to see that he immediately turned and gave me one. My wife took him off to the side and made it clear that he was not welcome anywhere near her or her son, but he completely ignored her boundaries and stayed at the party anyway.
My wife’s son included me in the whole thing, and even called me his dad a few times in front of Joseph, which made him so angry that he pulled me outside and all but screamed at me for ‘stealing’ his son from his ‘real father’.
I can somewhat understand him being a bit upset but, in my opinion, he is taking it too far.
I told my wife and her family about what happened afterward, and my wife agreed with me that he was completely out of line. Her family, however, didn’t.
They always loved Joseph for her, even after what he did to her, and think she would be better off with him than me. My MIL says that my stepson shouldn’t have to settle for me just because I’m jealous and don’t want Joseph around, which isn’t true at all.
They’ve all been endlessly shaming me for this, though, and I don’t really know what to think. On one hand, I love my stepson with all my heart, but I do believe he has a right to know his biological father if he wants to.
Am I the jerk for acting in the role of his father?”
10. AITJ For Wanting My Husband To Mange His Impulse Control Issues?
“Tonight my (46 f) husband (50 m) thought one of our 13-year-olds’ faces looked shiny & demanded to know what was on her face. I felt like I needed to protect her from his questioning.
I asked him to stop. He yelled that it was his right to find out what she put on her face in case it was something harmful like motor oil. I said he sounded absurd. He began shouting about chemicals & clogging ALL of her pores.
He badly felt he needed to know what she put on her face. He insulted her intelligence by pretending he was alarmed that she could have used a toxic substance. I began recording & explained I’ve been wearing makeup and using a skincare routine for 30+ years while he doesn’t even wash his face regularly.
He uses body soap on his face while showering a couple of times a week. He should trust me to handle any makeup/skincare concerns our daughters have. I explained his questioning can feel uncomfortable & shaming. He said it’s his right to question them about their faces when he wants to.
I explained that women/girls don’t like having their faces questioned by men.
Then I brought up a different event that also made me uncomfortable as a comparison.
Two weeks ago, in the middle of a crowded midway, at a county fair, he thought he saw something on our 7-year-old son’s tooth.
So, he grabbed our son’s head and used his thumbs to open our son’s mouth to check out his teeth in public surrounded by people. He was not physically hurting our son, but I was afraid onlookers could think he was. I was afraid it could shame/embarrass our son.
I told my husband how I felt about it and my husband argued he did nothing wrong & would check our kids’ teeth anytime he wanted to. I explained he could have waited until we were home & asked our son to smile for him.
I brought up this other event to help my husband understand he’s having impulse control issues (which my husband has a history of having). But my husband denies these things when they’re happening. Often times he apologizes months or years later.
I could be part of the problem because I’ve begun talking loudly to explain my feelings & concerns while my husband raises the volume on the tv and pretends the only problem is me being ‘crazy’.
My goal is to keep a calm state of mind but talk over the TV to explain there is a problem that does need to be addressed/discussed/resolved. I do get angry and yell. This time I began recording us.
In the past, he’s given permission & said he doesn’t care if I record.
I’d also like to show the recording to a marriage therapist if he’ll go to counseling.
While I was recording him our daughter said she had only put lotion on her face & he started yelling that lotion isn’t for faces and should never go near her eyes.
He sounded crazy. I explained that I have several face lotions and I also have lotions like Cerave that I apply to the face & body.”
9. AITJ For Being Creeped Out By My Mom's Ex-Colleague's Son?
“My mom (53 F) and I (19 F) went to spend a week at my grandparents’ house for a week. It’s in a small village and basically everyone knows everyone. My cousin (17 F) came along as well.
So it happened that yesterday one of my mom’s ex-colleagues (she retired) was in the village.
We knew she was from the same village as well so it wasn’t a surprise that she and my mom came across one another. My mom invited her colleague to drink some coffee in our yard and the colleague brought her son (around 27ish).
The colleague and I knew each other from before.
I didn’t know that they were there until my mom called us with my cousin because her colleague wanted to see me. I went to them and as soon as we approached the three of them I heard ‘Come on we don’t eat people’ coming from her son and ‘Why did you choose to study in state ONE?’ from the colleague.
It’s important for the context to say that I will be a junior in college this autumn and I was accepted in several states, the most important of which are ONE and TWO. My choice was TWO due to personal reasons.
When I got to them the colleague continued by saying ‘You should have chosen state ONE because he (her son) has a 3-bedroom apartment and you could’ve lived with him and wouldn’t have paid for housing.’
Even tho I brushed the comment off as a joke I felt really creeped out and when I shaked his hand the feeling of uncomfortableness got even stronger. The colleague continued with ‘I’ll be leaving him to you for a few days, you can go for a walk, etc.’ and I was like yeah yeah because I didn’t know what else to say and both my mom, my friend and I thought it was a joke, or at least the offer was out of some sort of politeness and wasn’t serious.
After they left I explained to my mom how this whole situation really creeped me out and how uncomfortable I felt. My cousin was with me in that saying it was quite weird to set us up like that. Not only the age difference but the whole interaction was really weird.
My mom said it was all jokes.
It was until an hour ago when the son came to search for us. I got really weirded out and just went to my room and locked it. 5 minutes after my mom tried to get in, I heard her apologizing to him and saying we couldn’t make it.
I feel like a jerk because I was probably overthinking and overreacting. I feel really bad that he had to leave without us hanging out but I couldn’t help but think about yesterday. My mom says I took it too far and we could just hang out for 15 minutes with him and I think she might be right.
So AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Prohibiting My Son From Using Our Gated Community's Swimming Pool For My Daughter?
“I have two children (33 F and 40 M). They do not get along and have not spoken in serval years, not getting into it but a lot of it has to do with my DIL (son’s wife). My husband passed away a few years ago, I sold the big house and when looking for a place to live decided to purchase a townhouse in the same gated community as my daughter.
I like having her and her husband close by so I know I’m not alone.
The gated community comes with a beautiful pool that my daughter and her husband use all the time. The problem started last weekend when my son asked to bring his wife and kids to the pool for the day on Saturday, I said of course.
I called my daughter and gave her a heads-up that my son and family would be at the pool.
She was upset and said she and her husband intended to use the pool all weekend and asked if we could please tell my son no. I told her that was ridiculous, if she wanted to use the pool she could just ignore them.
She threw a fit saying because of the pool hours they could only use it on the weekends, she had been looking forward to swimming all week. She also claimed this was her home and I was taking away her safe space by having him here.
She said she pays a lot to live here and now can’t use the amenities. I reminded her I pay the same amount to live here as she does and I want my grandbabies to enjoy the pool. She ended the call by saying she was here first and I just had to follow her which hurt.
I took my son and his family to the pool on Saturday my daughter never showed up. I haven’t heard from her all week and my son again asked to bring his family to the pool this weekend and I agreed. I sent her a text letting her know again and sent me one back telling me not to worry she won’t be going to the pool anymore this season.
I think she is being a complete brat, this is my home too I pay just as much to live here I should be able to use the amenities as I please.”
But I also agree that your daughter and your son need to fix whatever is going on between them, if possible.
7. AITJ For Telling My Family How Much My Fiance Really Makes?
“My family is very well educated and full of professionals including several doctors, surgeons, dentists, etc. I have a good career and make a good living.
When I met my fiancé, he was at my house to supervise a roofing crew the insurance company hired to replace my damaged roof. I instantly fell for him when he pulled up in his truck and couldn’t keep my eyes off of him for the rest of the day as he gave orders to his men.
When we started going out, he was vague about his job and I just chalked it up to him being insecure about me having a better career. I didn’t care about our income imbalance. When we got serious, we talked about our future plans and that was when he told me the full extent of his little construction company.
I was shocked that his construction earnings were as much as my dad’s surgeon salary. Gradually he took me around to the handful of construction lots and shopping centers he owns. His rental income combined with his construction earnings is double that of my dad’s.
He said that few people know about his finances and he expects me to keep what I know to myself.
My parents disapproved of him since the 1st time I brought him home. My dad coined the term ‘tool boy’ and the rest of my family joined in whenever they talked behind my fiancé’s back.
They don’t call him that to his face but instead make snide remarks. Once my mom said during dinner that they were thinking about hiring someone to mow their lawn then turned to my fiancé and asked him what he charges. I always try to defend him and it’s a constant battle.
It’s gotten worse since we’re planning our wedding and the other day my nerves just broke. Yesterday parents were trying to get me into getting a prenuptial then my dad said, ‘You have to protect your assets just in case Tool Boy decides to go slumming.’
I lost it and yelled at my parents. During our shouting, I blurted out his earnings and that he makes more than both of them combined then I stormed out. I told my fiancé what happened but instead of supporting me, he got mad that I told his parents that.
I argued that I was defending him then we got into an argument.
My parents and family are mad at me for keeping secrets. My fiancé is mad at me for not keeping secrets. I’m stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do.”
6. AITJ For Quitting My Job At Our Family Business To Work With My Fiancée?
“My (26 M) fiancée (23 F) is an artist. She has a YT channel/Instagram. She’s marvelous and professional at what she does and I’m proud of her work. We are also from Europe.
A year ago, my fiancée asked me if I’d help her out with her work on the weekends, as she was running late on several projects (I work as an engineer at my family’s firm, so couldn’t help out during weekdays).
I happily agreed. It’s been an incredible year. I loved the work I’ve been doing for my fiancée and we have grown a lot closer together thanks to it. I also got quite good at what I’ve been doing for her.
Two months ago, she asked me if I’d like to work for her full-time.
Now, it’s worth mentioning that she makes several times more than what I make. I agreed on the spot, even before she told me how much she’d pay me. It was one of the best decisions I made. She knew that my family might not take it well, so I told them that I needed a long vacation and they agreed (hesitantly, but I haven’t taken time off in 2 years and my wedding is coming soon, so we used it as an excuse).
The past two months have been so stress-free, I felt like I was enjoying my life to the fullest and the bond between us deepened further. I work similar hours as before, but It feels a lot better.
Sadly, my family does not really like what my fiancée does.
They also found out the real reason I took the vacation. I used it as a chance to tell them I quit my job at our family business, as I’m enjoying myself a lot more. They went literally insane on me. My dad and my mum have been calling me every day, calling me a jerk for ditching them, and other bad words for choosing to work for my fiancée.
In their reality, a man has to make more than the woman in the relationship and they don’t understand how on earth I’m okay with it. The rest of my family fully sided with my parents. They have also been making cruel remarks towards my fiancée.
I told them that they had no right to say those things about my fiancée and that I threatened to have no contact with them until they apologized to her.
Five days ago they informed me that my side of the family would not be attending the wedding.
Literally no one. Now this is where I might be an actual jerk because despite my fiancée wishes to try and make peace with them, I was enraged at them and told them that they could go and screw themselves and I don’t need them in my life and my fiancée is the only family I need. They all went silent with me.
I just feel like I could have handled it better. I am so conflicted about my behavior towards my family because I wanted to stand up for my fiancée and myself, but also completely lost my family in the process, because of how hostile I have been with them.
AITJ for the way I handled the situation?”
5. AITJ For Telling My Nephew To Reconcile With His Sister?
“My sister died when her 2 children were very young.
Her husband raised the children as a single dad until he died 3 years ago.
I (49 F) have always been close with my niece Brenda (34). I sort of took it under my wing after my sister died. She comes to me for guidance. I have children of my own but I consider Brenda my bonus daughter.
She was very close with her father and she was utterly devastated when he died suddenly.
My nephew Bryan (30) has always been in his own world. He didn’t have much of a relationship with his father, and he has always been distant from me and my children.
He moved 13 hours away when he was 21 and he got married there. He barely visits.
Bryan hates Brenda. He estranged himself from her right after their father died. He claims that Brenda is a bully to him and his wife. He also claims that Brenda stole his inheritance.
Brenda can be spirited and emotional sometimes, and she says things she doesn’t mean, but she’s a good person with a big heart. She goes to church with me, and Bryan and his wife haven’t stepped foot into a church in a long time. Brenda helps out with my mother, and Bryan visits my mother (his own grandmother) only every 1 or 2 years.
We have no idea what Bryan is doing with his life.
I stayed out of the inheritance situation because it was none of my business. Brenda was devastated when her brother disowned her. She has no family left except me, my children, and my mother.
I spent a lot of time supporting her through it.
Recently my mother had a 75th birthday party and Bryan came. Of course, his wife couldn’t be bothered to come. Brenda was out of town so she wasn’t there. Bryan and I sat at the same table with my children and their own significant others.
I updated Bryan on how Brenda was doing and he blew up at me. He told me that he didn’t care about his sister and what was going on with her. He demanded that I stop talking about her. I told him that I wished he would make amends with her and he scoffed and said it would never happen.
I suggested that he move back home and maybe they’ll get past all this because it’s what his parents would have wanted. He said nothing and stormed off.
I was humiliated because he spoke to me in a disrespectful way in front of my children and he was talking so loudly that other tables could hear him.
My son and his significant other admitted that they don’t like Brenda either (that was news to me) and I should respect Bryan’s wishes. I tried to explain my feelings but they told me to ask for other people’s opinion. AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Not Helping My Wife With Her Financial Problem?
“I (M 39) am married to the love of my life (F 36). We have two sweet kids, ages 5 and 9, and we all live in a house in a nice small typical Scandinavian town.
Our economy is mostly shared – more on this in a bit.
I’m an engineer, working as a consultant. Great pay and benefits. I make more than I spend.
My wife has a master’s degree in human communication – a horribly useless degree, even according to herself.
Since graduating something like 8 years ago, she has been unable to find a job in her field.
Note: Those 8 years do include her second pregnancy and maternity leave.
Here is the thing. My wife has very wealthy parents (like ‘no financial worries at all’wealthy). Thanks to them, her share of our house was gifted to her (I still pay the mortgage on my share).
They gifted her a brand-new car (I drive my own). Each Christmas, they gift her $20,000 – her, not me. Besides that yearly gift, she has more or less been without income for most of her adult life, including when she attended university. She did hold a few odd jobs here and there.
We share all family-related expenses (utilities, food, insurance, vacations, kids’ stuff, and so on) through a shared account – 50/50. Besides that, we have our own accounts. But many purchases go toward the family/house/kids anyway, so it’s not like airtight. You know how it is.
My wife recently got a part-time job (15-20 hours/week) in a clothing store. Pay is terrible, hours are weird and she doesn’t get along with the owner. Therefore, she is considering quitting. I’m telling her to go ahead, but also that even a bad job pays better than no job.
In my opinion, she is a little picky with jobs. Won’t do cleaning, elderly care, and other stuff like that, despite those being jobs she is able to get without any qualifications. She keeps applying for jobs in her own field, but so far without any luck besides a couple of first-round interviews.
The market is VERY limited.
Because of the increased cost of living, her yearly gift and small paycheck don’t quite cut it anymore. She tells me that she is barely making ends meet. Therefore, she has asked me to help her out, by paying a larger share of our shared expenses.
I basically said no.
I told her that not many people are as privileged as her and that she really should be less picky – or even consider requalification (new education and/or field of work). I felt bad telling her, but also needed to be honest with her.
I could help her out, but that just doesn’t sit right with me, all things considered.
So now of course, according to her, I’m a jerk. But am I?”
3. AITJ For Asking My Partner To Pay For My Stolen Bike?
“In early October, my (31 F) bike was stolen out of a shared garage space my partner (29 M) rents with some friends.
It was meant to be a place where they work on their motorcycles and different hobbies, and for storage. We live in a city where access to extra space like that is rare, so 5-6 of them split the rent on this space and all have the code.
We’re unsure how the door was left open but from what we can gather from the police and different neighbors/witnesses, the garage door was left open one morning and remained open for the next 24ish hours before the landlord was called, and then ultimately my partner and the other tenants.
Amongst everything stolen was my bike, which was being stored there after my partner borrowed it one day after he left his car nearby (he stayed the night at my house and didn’t have a vehicle to get back, asked for my bike). His dirt bike, moped, and other small items were also stolen.
The other tenants lost stuff too but my partner and I took the brunt of the losses.
After some failed attempts to get an insurance payout, it’s up to us to find the money to replace our stolen items.
Now, from day one I was upset with my partner for the whole thing.
My bike was stored in MY own garage, locked with a U-lock and chain. And he borrowed it, leaving it without a lock in his garage. And while he isn’t responsible for leaving the door open, I do think he should’ve chained it to his other bikes or moved it to the back.
He’s offered to buy me a new one and keeps showing me listings of comparable replacements, but they’re significantly less expensive than what I paid for mine. It was a very specific model that I kept in near-perfect condition. And I’m expecting to get back the full amount of what it’s worth.
I’ve taken off for wear-and-tear and ‘free’ labor he did for me. But even if he does buy me a replacement, there’s still a remaining balance of what my first one was worth. I don’t care if it’s him, his other tenants, or whoever that gets me that money.
He gets angry when I bring that up and tell him I’m holding steady on getting that money back. Says I’m ‘milking him’ and that it’s unfair.
So, AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Wanting My Wife To Dress Nicely?
“My wife and I have been married for 6 years now. My wife, Grace, is beautiful. She is a very girly girl liking things like pink, flowers, purses, and heels. Before the global crisis, Grace would always dress for a runway. She would have on makeup, heels, dresses, perfume, smooth skin, etc. During the global crisis though my wife’s job got moved to at home.
She stopped her beauty routine and spent most of the days in long t-shirts, shorts, sweat pants, or pajamas. I understood it since we weren’t really going anywhere. Grace also stopped wearing makeup, doing her hair, and shaving. While this bothered me cause I like having a beautiful wife I figured it was till her job got moved back to the office.
Now things are open again. My job has been moved to the office but Grace told me she didn’t want to return and opted to keep working from home. Her wardrobe has completely changed in the two years of the global crisis! She hardly wears her dresses, cute shirts, skirts, makeup, or anything like before.
It’s men’s t-shirts with sayings on them like I’m grumpy, jeans, sweat pants, and tennis shoes. And she has COMPLETELY stopped shaving and waxing. Now she’ll dress up a bit if we go out or if we have company but that’s it. Grace tells me it’s too much work.
So now for the part where I may be a jerk.
Before 2020, we went on a date night. Since we haven’t done it I suggested a night out at an expensive restaurant. I did pick this restaurant on purpose. Grace said no and suggested we order takeout.
When I refused she suggested a restaurant like IHOP or Chili’s. Her excuse? She didn’t feel like shaving her legs for one of her dresses and wanted to be comfortable
I snapped saying ‘It wouldn’t hurt you to dress up for once!’ She accused me of only liking her looks!
This isn’t true! I told her I was just tired of feeling like I was living with a homeless woman. Grace ended up locking herself in our bedroom. I know my words were harsh. I ordered a pizza and tried to apologize but Grace wouldn’t open the door.
I slept on the couch. Right now Grace is still giving me the cold shoulder, refusing to speak to me or be in the same room as me. I know I hurt her feelings with my words however I think this is depression or isolation from the global crisis since before Grace had no problem looking like a model.
AITJ?”
1. AITJ For What I Said To My Sister About Her Pregnancy?
“My sister (23 F) and I (25 F) come from a more traditional family. One of the things we feel strongly about is no sleeping together before marriage, and no messing around, meaning not jumping from relationship to relationship.
Commitment is important.
However, my sister has been pretty much the rebel and has broken all the rules. In high school, she was going out with a guy for about a year, but then she dumped him and moved on to someone else for about a month, before finally meeting her current significant other her senior year of high school.
I mean these are just the guys that I know of, but there were rumors going around when we were in high school that she was going out with one of her guy friends but I’m not really sure if that’s true or just a rumor.
Anyway, this is not the only way she has rebelled. She would dress kind of immodestly: short skirts and shorts, crop tops, tops with really low backs, tops that would be too tight in the chest area, you get the picture.
But the biggest thing of all was that she had slept with someone before marriage.
We didn’t really know that she was engaging in that until she got pregnant. Obviously, it wasn’t planned. My sister and her SO had decided to keep the baby. We assumed that they would be getting married and have a ‘shotgun’ wedding, but they kind of surprised us when they said that they weren’t planning on getting married at the moment.
My mom said that they were just adding to their mistakes by not getting married before the baby was born because that’s just not how our family runs things, and that’s just not what we believed in.
However, this wouldn’t matter anyway, because 2 weeks after this, my sister lost the baby.
She and her SO were really upset and she came to me and my parents. She didn’t understand why it happened, because she didn’t drink smoke, or do any rigorous activity. I just told her that it kind of made sense to me. She asked me what I meant.
I told her that the fact that she had slept with her SO before marriage, which is something that we are against, got pregnant, and decided not to get married, which is also something that we’re against, so it just made sense that she didn’t have this baby.
I mean it was doomed from the start.
She started crying and yelled at me, asking me how I could say such a thing. I just told her that I was just being honest. She stormed out of the room, and my mom ran after her.
My dad came up to me and told me that I could have said what I said differently. I mean maybe, but again, I was just stating a fact. But seriously, AITJ?”
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