People Worry They're Doomed In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
20. AITJ For Wanting To Step Down As MOH For A Toxic Bride?
“Long story short, I was sort of forced to be MOH for an old friend whom I was trying to distance myself from.
I said I would help out and eventually she coerced me into being MOH. I thought all would be fine since the other girls said they would help me out and the title would just be a formality. That should have been red flag #1.
Other red flags:
* When telling each of us about the other bridesmaids, she described us all by our body shape and weight
* Two of us in the bridal party said no initially and only caved when she begged
* She would badmouth other bridesmaids to me and I later found out she was badmouthing me to the other bridesmaids (no surprise)
* Future MIL was extremely racist and made racist comments that were about the race the bride, myself, and another bridesmaid were but somehow they didn’t apply to the bride?
* Bride laid claim to all the hard work the bridesmaids and I put into assembling her invitations that we did ourselves.
Bragged profusely about how tiring it was for her to do it all herself to other people but would turn around in private and say thank you to us. (I guess at least she said thank you)
* The bride would not tell me what she wanted for her “bridal shower” despite me asking weekly and then turned around and complained that I was not doing anything
* The bridal shower ended up being a party bigger than her wedding which she expected all the bridesmaids to pay. We did not find out till two weeks beforehand how large the guest list was because she kept the guest list between her and the other bridesmaid who I am not friends with.
That bridesmaid did not tell us so it was a huge surprise to us when the bridal shower was 100+ people
* We were told “Well so and so gave you some money so it should be fine”
* Planning that bridal shower was so stressful for me that I started losing hair.
There are other huge red flags about the couple but that’s a post for itself at a later time maybe.
* Afterwards, the bride complained about several things about the party.
* Constant comment about weight since three of us are larger than a size 6 in dresses and it wouldn’t look as nice for her aesthetic since we were already all the same height or taller than her.
These are just a few of the things that transpired that had to do with the bride and the future MIL. The list of things the future groom has done is also long but I try to not let those affect my decision since this has to do with my relationship with the bride.
She has time to find a replacement bridesmaid. I think I might be the jerk here if I step down because I know that she doesn’t have a lot of friends (probably because she’s a super unpleasant person).”
Another User Comments:
“This definitely seems like a tough situation to be in, but I don’t think you’re a jerk.
The bride seems very messy. I feel like being the MOH is supposed to be a really exciting moment because it shows you have a special bond with the bride. But the fact she had to practically beg another person and then you to step up kinda shows a lot.
Seems like she lacks communication skills and I would be extremely uncomfortable about the weight comments & badmouthing her other bridesmaids. Plus the whole money situation and stress of the bridal shower is just too much. I think I would dip, especially since you were trying to distance yourself beforehand.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“The minute I found out she was talking badly about me would have been the minute I told her to take her wedding and nasty behavior and find someone else to be abusive to!! I would have stepped away at that moment.
She sounds like an entitled brat who has no idea how to treat other people and doesn’t care that she barely has any friends. You would not be a jerk for dropping out of the wedding!! Do not put up with her mistreatment. She sounds exhausting to be around!!
I would drop out and drop her as a “friend”. You deserve better people to surround yourself with!!” jessi39mae
Another User Comments:
“Oh wow, that’s a lot to deal with. First off, I don’t think you’re the jerk for wanting to step down as MOH.
It sounds like this situation has been toxic and draining for you, both emotionally and physically (losing hair from stress is no joke). You’ve already gone above and beyond for someone you were trying to distance yourself from in the first place. Honestly, it’s not your responsibility to bear the brunt of her poor planning and bad behavior, especially when she’s being manipulative and disrespectful.
The fact that she coerced you into the role, badmouthed you, and added a ton of unnecessary stress with the bridal shower are all major red flags. And let’s not even get started on the weight of comments and the way she treats people around her—it’s clear she doesn’t respect her friends or appreciate their efforts unless it serves her narrative.
That says a lot about her character.” User
19. AITJ For Holding A Goat Wedding At My Best Friend's Memorial Service?
“So I’ll start out by giving some context because I know this may seem unusual. I (36M) work on a farm. My lifelong best friend Jerry (40M) tragically passed away after battling some health issues. Jerry and I used to work together on my farm, and he had a special bond with a lot of the animals there.
His favorites were a couple of my goats, Gary (8M) and his partner Gertrude (9F).
Now, Jerry had this remarkable sense of humor, and he cherished every moment of life. He often joked about the happiness that Gary and Gertrude brought into our lives and how he always thought they should “tie the knot”.
He was a very joyful man with a life statement of never taking anything too seriously. I was given a huge role in planning his memorial service, as his best friend and the closest person in his life other than his wife. I had an idea that I believed honored Jerry’s spirit perfectly.
I initially got a bit of pushback on this from his family members, but his wife and all of his friends who helped plan the funeral fully supported the idea. As I explained the reasoning behind it, I was able to show most of his family where my heart was in all of this; I figured it would be a wonderful way to capture Jerry’s humor.
After the funeral was over, I rounded up some close friends and family who knew Jerry’s quirky sense of humor and appreciated the joy that animals brought to his life. I set up a tasteful enclosure for Gary and Gertrude next to Jerry’s memorial site, complete with flowers and an elegant arch.
To us, it felt like a genuine way to remember Jerry’s unique personality and add a touch of his spirit to the otherwise very traditional event.
Jerry was all about celebrating love in all its forms. I genuinely believed that he would have loved the idea of combining his memorial with Gary and Gertrude’s wedding.
His wife told me that he would’ve wanted to be remembered this way. It was a surprisingly tender moment to celebrate in a way that felt true to who he was.
Almost everyone at the memorial service loved the idea. They shared anecdotes about Jerry’s humor and how he would have appreciated the unconventional festivities.
We laughed and joked, it was a great way to lighten the mood in honor of Jerry. Only a few people at the party, most of whom didn’t know Jerry that well, said that it was inappropriate and in bad taste. In all honesty, I am fully unaware that this was unconventional, but it seemed right to do this, as the rest of the ceremony was extremely orthodox and he used to talk about how he wanted his funeral to be unique.
TL/DR: I held a wedding ceremony for my goats after my friend’s funeral to honor his humor and love for animals. The idea was supported by many including his wife. I got some criticism from a few family members but everyone else seemed to enjoy it.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – For those who knew Jerry, they got it. And for those who didn’t know him, they didn’t and really who cares about them and their opinion? I am sure Jerry doesn’t care about them either wherever he is right now.
And that is all that matters.” mustng66
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It’s not like you showed up randomly with the goats. If his wife was on board, that’s what matters. Jerry sounds like he was a great guy. I am so sorry for your loss.
And congratulations to Gary and Gertrude.” CosmicGreen_Giraffe3
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If those who were closest to him loved it and thought it was true to Jerry’s spirit and what he would have wanted then it was the right thing to do. (I think this is sweet and hilarious and I am sorry that I have never been invited to a goat wedding.) The best memorial services I have been to were not strictly “tasteful”; they were unique events based on the departed and what they loved (for example, one was a poetry reading, one involved reading from a favorite children’s book) and helped everyone remember and share what they loved about the person who passed. I don’t even remember the cookie-cutter services.” YellowLoquat
18. AITJ For Confronting My Mom About Her Resentment Towards My Successful Sister?
“One of my siblings, let’s call her Vic, recently started her first ‘big girl’ job as a lawyer after years of working her rear off. Obviously, all of us are very proud and happy for her, but my mum has been making some comments (not just recently) and it all came to a head today during lunch.
For context, my sis is very fortunate to be in a stable, long term relationship with a really cool dude, as well as a close friend circle filled with people who look out for each other. While my other sibling also has good friends, my mum and I have not been so fortunate on that front.
My dad also was unfaithful to my mum, and this, coupled with mum’s family being a jerk, means that mum doesn’t really have a support system (to speak of). In these past years, my siblings and I have been slowly distancing ourselves away from mum because she is very draining to be around, and I think my mum blames Vic (since she’s the eldest) for our deteriorating relationship with her.
During our lunch convo, my mum brought up the fact that Vic doesn’t really seem to hold her in high regard, which (unfortunately) I suspect is true, as Vic doesn’t really go out of her way to appease our mum/spend time with her.
I said that this might be because she seems to hold especial resentment for Vic — case in point, always badmouthing her, telling me that Vic thinks too much of herself and she won’t actually succeed in life, at which mum got defensive and said, in her exact words, “I’m allowed to say whatever I want when I have emotions, and when your sister (Vic) hurts me.
You shouldn’t blame me for what I say when I’m angry.”
I told her that was untrue, that honestly, every insult and curse you give when you’re angry has some element of truth in it. I do think that Vic can be a bit harsh on mum sometimes, and their relationship is the worse out of all our sibling’s relationship, but I think that cursing her relationship/hoping Vic’s partner is unfaithful to her/hoping Vic will lose her job, even in anger, is unacceptable.
My mum blew up at me and said I was twisting her words and that she wishes all the best for Vic, and that I was ‘satan’ for trying to wreck her relationship with Vic. But Vic was the one who told me that she feels like our mum resents her?!
I do feel terribly guilty now, because I knew this was a sore topic, but I feel like mothers should want the best for their children and it makes me furious for Vic because she’s very scared that her life would turn out like our mum.
My other sibling and my dad (not actually involved, aside from the unfaithfulness) told me to stay out of it and stop provoking her. AITJ? I’m not denying that Vic can be a bit of a jerk, I’m just saying that wishing ill on your daughter is a line that I don’t think she should cross.
But maybe I should just ignore her comments?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Vic is the eldest and your mom probably associates the downturn in her life with the birth of the first child. That brings forth resentment as she sees the child become successful and have a good life.
She focuses that resentment onto Vic, no wonder Vic has distanced herself. If your mom put as much effort into sorting her life out, rather than complaining about others, she’d be in a better place.” MapleLeaf5410
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, I do think at this point you said what you said and leave it alone..your mom doesn’t seem like she will change her mind.
Vic is paving her way in life and sounds like she is just done with your mom’s nonsense which is fantastic. If not putting up with mom’s nonsense had people calling me a jerk then I would gladly accept that title.” nackle09
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I’m the oldest of 4 siblings and this is the same as my relationship with my mother. She dropped out of high school when she had me and never went back. Unfortunately this has resulted in her having low paying or manual labor jobs.
I finished high school and went to college. With no help from her or my father and she resents me for it. Have a successful marriage, my father was unfaithful to her and they separated before he died. She treats me like dirt, if I allow it, I am LC to NC with her.
Your mom is bitter and angry at your sister.” [deleted]
17. AITJ For Confronting My Roommate About Her Financial Irresponsibility And Dependence On Me?
“I (21F) have been friends with my roommate (23F) for about 2 1/2 years now. We just moved in together in July. I’ve been there for her through her breakup with her partner at the time of 3 years and her brother’s death which occurred almost 2 years ago.
This past Easter we decided to visit California to see our friends. I paid for our plane tickets so we could sit next to each other since this was her first time on a plane. I also paid for our Airbnb while we were there.
When we came back, I expected her to pay me back but she couldn’t. She said she didn’t have the money at the time. I told her it was fine, she could pay me back later. Fast forward to June, she says she can pay the whole security deposit for the apartment we’re renting together instead of paying me back the money directly.
I told her it was fine for her to do that. She ended up not having the money and asked if I could pay for my half. I said sure and paid for it. She told me she’d pay for my second month’s rent instead.
Time comes, she doesn’t. She didn’t have enough money. At this time, she also got the car she was using taken away from her. When her brother died, her car was repossessed because she stopped showing up to work because she was too upset over the death to go.
This in turn made her unable to keep her job.
Because of this, she was using her ex’s car while he was deployed. He came back and took his car back. She now is making me give her rides to work and refuses to take the bus and Uber saying she doesn’t trust them.
When I told her the Ubers here are pretty safe since I’ve rode in them before in high school she said, “it’s safe because of how you look, it wouldn’t be safe for me.” I told her to get a bike but she’s concerned about the winter time.
I’ve been taking her to work and picking her up during times I can (I also work and go to school). After a month of this, I asked her if she could pay me a bit of gas money to help and asked if she was paying for this month’s rent for me and she went ballistic.
She yelled at me saying I needed to be more caring, kind, and understanding of her mental health blaming all of her financial problems on her brother. I told her the world moves on and she can’t keep making excuses for everything and she needs to act like an adult and become responsible for her actions.
She called me a jerk and hasn’t talked to me since. What makes it worse is she spends her money on Starbucks every day, video games, in-game purchases, and eating out. She comes home early from work whenever she can to play video games and even ignores important things like chores, hygiene, and even cooking for them.”
Another User Comments:
“Sorry, but this is going to be harsh. You are such a doormat. You have no self-respect. Stop it. Move out. Move on. This person is not your friend. She sees you as an easy target because you are. Why are you paying for everything all the time?
Try saying this out loud. “NO” Why do you even want someone who has so little respect for you to talk to you? Seriously. You should consider counseling for YOURSELF to figure out why you would allow someone to mistreat you like this.” Still-Register-89
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I had a hard time after my parents’ deaths. But if you’re an adult you still have responsibilities to meet. I didn’t feel like going out much…but I still went to work so I could pay the rent. Your roommate is taking advantage of you.
I’d do what you can to put a stop to it.” stroppo
Another User Comments:
“NTJ But she is not your friend. She has taken advantage of you the entire time you have known her. Grow a spine and put your foot down, do not lend her money or take her places anymore.
She will continue to use you as long as you allow it. And she will also keep making excuses and try to make you feel guilty. Stop allowing it!!” DogLover-777
16. AITJ For Telling My Husband He's Being Too Picky With His Job Search?
“My husband (30m) detests his job. He has been with the company for 6 years, starting as a seasonal employee to now being a department manager. He takes on a lot at his job but he cares deeply about what he does. He works 50+ hours a week, often nights and weekends, however, the pay is good and the benefits are amazing.
The employees underneath him love him and say he’s an amazing manager. But HIS manager is a jerk. He frequently tells my husband to redo projects he’s mostly done with, berates him left and right, scrutinizes everything he does, and never has a positive thing to say.
So needless to say, my husband is fed up and ready to find something else. So fed up that he often gets emotional about how terrible the job is and how deeply unhappy he is.
I (29f) have done the following so far:
* Reached out to everyone in my network to ask if anyone has jobs that he would be good for
* Found jobs for him to apply to
* Helped him revise and rewrite his resume and cover letter
* Sent his resume to some of my coworkers to review and give feedback on
* Taken on 90% of the housework (even though I also work full time) so that he has the most time possible to apply for jobs
* And more that I can’t remember right now.
In return, my husband spends little to no time actually applying for jobs. He’ll often “forget” to apply to jobs that I’ve sent him to where they end up being closed to applicants when he actually goes to apply.
He refuses to search outside of what would be a 30-minute commute area (we are in a suburb and there’s not much around except fast food and Walmart). He wants something hybrid or remote and doesn’t want to be fully in-person. He is insanely selective about what he’ll actually send an application to.
I find this INFURIATING. To a point where it makes me think, “How bad can your job actually be if you’re barely searching for something new?”.
When asked, he says he feels like it needs to be the “right job” and not just anything. In my mind, if his job is that bad, I would be looking for anything else and then start searching again from there.
It’s like he’s looking for this perfect, needle-in-a-haystack job. Meanwhile, I’m drowning in my job and housework to give him space and time.
I told him he’s being too picky and is eliminating huge opportunities and he got pretty upset with me. He said he just wanted me to be supportive.
This is starting to create real issues between us and I honestly feel like I’ve put more work into finding him a new job than he has himself. I can’t care more about it than he does. So, AITJ? And if not, how do I proceed from here?
Do I just leave it be and let him do his thing while I’m struggling to work and maintain a house by myself? Or do I keep trying to push him to broaden his search?”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. Quit pushing him, and quit doing his job search.
Talk about home responsibilities and who does what. He needs to take on his share. Allow him a few minutes to vent, then change the subject. Tell him that you don’t have the bandwidth for it. Insist he sees a therapist, he may have depression that makes it harder to let things go.
The therapist should also be able to help him sort out why he isn’t looking for a new job. He should document the issues with his manager and discuss it with higher-level managers or HR. If he likes many things about his job, maybe he can change the things that he doesn’t like.
He isn’t taking responsibility for his situation, or to change it. It’s impacting you and your family.” My2Cents_503
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You did everything you could to help him and he refuses to get help. If he hates his workplace so much, he would get out of the situation and try to be proactive.
He is just lazy and complacent. As for you, don’t do everything by yourself, he needs to be a partner and do his fair share too. I guess he likes this situation right now, where you carry all the household mental load, actual work, and his work mental load too.
He is using you rn and he needs to stop, grow a pair, and be your partner.” Serious_Hamster_9361
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. I get your frustration. You want him to be happy and fulfilled. He wants to be too. No matter how much he may hate his job at times, he obviously feels on some level he is contributing greatly to the company he works for and that has to be satisfying for him.
Change is REALLY hard to do. In the end, it’s his decision when he’s ready to leave and start somewhere else. Just let him do his thing. When he vents, just be understanding. Don’t try to fix it or offer solutions, let him figure that one out on his own.
In the meantime, don’t make his decision-making and stress become your job to tackle. Do your job and take care of your responsibilities. It will balance out in the end. You just have to ride it out for a little while.” Admirable_Scale_5075
15. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Ex Wash His Dog Because He Asked Me Last Minute?
“My (f26) ex (m25) & I recently broke up. We live near each other and he just got a dog.
He invited me over to his house for dinner and to meet his sweet pup, Lola.
I was planning on staying there for just dinner as I had work to do at home. For context, this dinner wasn’t planned; he asked me if I wanted to come over after I got home from work.
It hadn’t even been more than an hour before I arrived at his place. Anyway, we finish eating dinner and are chatting, and he asks: “Hey could you help me wash Lola by holding her leash while I hose her down outside & shampoo her?”
Me: “What? Right now?”
Him: “No not right now but later on tonight yeah”
Me: “No not really, I was planning on leaving soon anyway”
Him: “Are you serious? It’ll only take 2 minutes”
Me: “How long have you been thinking about asking me if I could help with this?”
Him: “I’ve thought about it since this morning”.
Me: “Well if you asked me when you first thought of it I probably would’ve said yes because I would’ve planned my night accordingly knowing I was staying longer, so no, not tonight but I can help you tomorrow”
Him: “Just forget about it, it’s whatever. All you have to do is hold the leash. It won’t even take long but whatever”
Me: “But you asked after I had already come over, it kind of feels like you were tricking me into doing it & saying yes because I’m already here”
He then gets super & goes: “You know why I waited to ask you? Cause I thought you were gonna say yeah since it’s literally not a big deal & will only be 2 minutes but whatever, just leave”
Me: “I have work to do when I get home.
I just wished you asked me before I came over”
Him: “You’re not gonna disrespect me in my house by saying that I’m tricking you, just leave – go. Get out of here. You’re crazy”
I leave.
I just can’t stop thinking about AITJ because a.) it isn’t a big deal, it’s just standing there & holding a leash outside, and b.) it’s just being kind & helping out, it’s not like it’s a huge inconvenience for me.
On a different token though, it just feels like subconscious manipulation because he knew he was going to ask all day but waited until I was there to ask. What if I didn’t come over for dinner? Would he have gone ahead & done it, or waited until the next time he saw me to ask for help?
His reaction when I said I felt tricked rubbed me the wrong way too. I don’t know why, but it made me feel so guilty for saying no & that I did something horrendous to warrant that reaction.
I really don’t know if I should’ve just agreed to help because in the grand scheme of things it’s a small ask or if my feelings are justified in that I felt manipulated into having to say yes since I was already there, making me want to say no even more.
So, AITJ for saying no to helping my ex wash his dog because he hadn’t asked me until I was already at his house?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You didn’t say who broke up with whom, but it almost sounds like he was going for a hook-up or even the most awkward attempt at getting back together with washing the puppy later that night.
Come see the new adorable puppy, have dinner, nice time chatting, and wash the dog together, and it’s suddenly late so stay over. His over-the-top reaction when you said no could have been seeing the light you weren’t going to stay over. You know him best, maybe the manipulation is something you saw in the relationship and it is just a standard way he operates.
Either way, NTJ.” HistoricalHat3054
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Not quite the same but… my mom is getting older and has health issues. I tell her before I get there… if there’s anything you need me to do, I’m happy to help BUT I’d appreciate a specific list of items so I know what’s expected and I can get a feel for the time required. A heads up on asks is just considerate… your former dude is a putz” RuReddy4thisJelly
14. AITJ For Not Defending My Roommate's Partner When She Vent About Their Relationship?
“I (21F) share a university apartment with a fellow student, Lana (19F).
I was making lunch and chatting with my partner, Alex (25NB) on speakerphone when Lana got home from work. We all started chatting together, and eventually, Lana asked if she could vent about something regarding her partner Jamie (20M) and their personal life. Alex and I tell her to go ahead.
Lana then tells Alex and me that she has a latex allergy and that Jamie has never bought a pack of latex-free protection. She says that at first she wanted them to split buying protection 50/50, but the last three or four times she’s been the one to buy protection, because every single time he goes to get them, he returns with latex ones.
Lana says he doesn’t pay enough attention/look long enough and that she thinks it’s because of his ADHD, but she’s still frustrated. She also added that the first time he bought protection, she trusted that he got the right kind and didn’t double-check the box, resulting in an allergic reaction that I cringe while thinking about.
I told Lana it’s not fair that she has to be 100% responsible for getting the protection, and then my partner cut in and said that Jamie seems like a complete jerk who doesn’t care about his partner and that it’s pathetic at 20 years old that he can’t be bothered to make sure he’s getting something that Lana isn’t allergic to.
They also said that as someone with ADHD, it’s absolutely not an excuse for what he’s doing. Lana stared at me for a moment kind of expectantly, then grabbed what was left of her snack and said she was going to finish it in her room and check on her cat and “think about some stuff”.
When I got back to my room with my food, I saw that Lana had sent me a long message about how she doesn’t appreciate my partner accusing her partner of not caring and also insulting him. She said that she expects me to “reign them in” next time, and that she expects a sincere apology from my partner to both her and her partner, and that she’d rather I hang up next time she needs to talk about something with me because she doesn’t want their opinion anymore.
She also expects “most of all” to get an apology from me, face to face, for not defending her partner from my partner and that she’s surprised I’d just stand by and that it’s not a “good friend” thing to do.
My partner and I talked about it, and I ultimately texted her back saying that while I do think Alex could have worded things better, maybe been a bit softer on the approach, I don’t think that they’re wrong, and what surprises me is how Lana refuses to defend herself in her own relationship.
I told her if she needs me in the future, I’ll try and be there for her, but I’m not going to defend her partner’s actions or apologize for my partner’s actions, and that I’m not Alex’s handler or something.
Lana left me on read after that and has been avoiding me since.
I’m honestly a bit torn. Was I the jerk here?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She butted in on your conversation with your partner and asked for your input. She can’t be upset that you and your partner gave your honest input.
Next time she can just not get other people’s opinions if she doesn’t want them. Your friend does deserve an apology but from her partner, not yours.” Penguin_Doctor
Another User Comments:
“NTJ As a guy with a latex allergy, it is annoying sometimes trying to find non-latex protection but normally a nonissue.
Latex allergy tends to get worse the more you are exposed to it and should be avoided. I feel you were right to call the bf out. He is putting the burden of birth control on his partner and intentionally causing her to have allergic reactions.
I hope she gets to a place where she is willing to hear that a partner who cares about her will not willingly expose her to things she’s allergic to. I wish you the best.” Trerowrow
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your partner is correct and quite frankly I always took responsibility for birth control.
There was no way I would trust anyone else with something so important. Keep in mind, that when someone is venting they are not asking you to solve an issue they just want to complain about it. This situation reminds me that in 95% of domestic mistreatment cases, the battered person will end up defending their SO.
I would suggest you ask your roommate why it is she wanted to vent about her BF not caring but when others agreed she got defensive. Does she feel her feelings aren’t valid?” SJSUCORGIS
13. AITJ For Not Letting A Customer Use The Employee Restroom?
“We have two restrooms where I work, one for employees and one for customers.
Recently a few things have happened: Our key for the customer restroom was stolen, our store manager quit, corporate has been all over the store changing things, they even installed cameras. I’ve been told to be very by-the-book now that the cameras are up, so I have been.
Yesterday, I was in the middle of doing something when a woman who had been screaming and swearing at her grandchildren dreadfully calls to me when I passed her “SIR, DO YOU WORK HERE?!”
Me: “Yes ma’am how can I help?”
Customer: “My granddaughter really has to use the restroom is there any way you can unlock it for us?”
Me: “I’m really sorry missed but we can’t unlock the door right now, we don’t have a key.”
Customer: *leans on her cart, and puts on a very judging face.* Really? You don’t have an open restroom at all? What about yours?
Me: Our restroom is for employees only, I apologize but I can’t let you into the employee restroom.
Customer: So you’re going to stand there and tell a **LITTLE GIRL** that she can’t use the restroom?
Me: Well, no I am not telling her that, I’m telling you.
However, I can offer some solutions. There’s [Store 1 in the same shopping center] and there’s [store 2 in the same shopping center] and both have open restrooms.
Customer: but I’m not in those stores! I’m in this one, I’m a paying customer here, we’re the reason you get paid.
Is there a manager I can talk to?
Me: I really apologize but my manager is on break for another 20 minutes. There’s not much I can do.
Customer: Like, can you make an exception since I am a paying customer?
Me: Ma’am I have cameras watching me, I’m sorry but I’m not going to open the employee restroom to you.
As soon as I mentioned the fact that cameras were watching me she turned her back to me muttering insults, and such. She went and found a coworker of mine who actually opened the restroom for her, so whatever. As long as it wasn’t me breaking a rule I thought.
She later found me in an aisle and from one end of the aisle, pulled her phone out, started recording and loudly went over the situation we just had, called me a “stupid idiot” and some other stuff I ignored. Even later, after I had already briefed my manager on what just happened, she finds and tells my manager her side of the story.
Again, I ignore this as much as I can but she’s just full of it. She says I was being rude in how I told her. However, I feel like she was just upset I told her “No” even when she tried to guilt trip me with her grandkid, she then sai,d “I don’t know if it’s because he’s white and I’m black….” But I’m a Mexican?!
I just tuned out the rest.
Honestly, I would have opened the employee restroom door if it wasn’t for the darn cameras, I’ve heard stories of other stores like mine where the district manager micromanages via the cams and I’m just not about to play that game.
Am I a jerk for this?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ You have to CYA. Too bad your coworker didn’t back you up. In the time the entitled customer spent arguing, she could have been to the other bathroom. Some people just have to get their way, but you don’t have to help them do it.” JenBGenX
Another User Comments:
“Gonna call out YTJ If you have a public bathroom, then it needs to be accessible for customers. Frankly, lady should escalate it to the health department and civil services. They could shut down your store for that.” WholeAd2742
12. AITJ For Revealing My Son Is My Nephew's Half-Sibling After My Wife's Affair With His Late Father?
“I (29m) have a sister (35f) who I’m estranged from. For context a few years ago my wife(28f) and my sister’s late husband had a betrayal. The betrayal came out just before 2020 because my wife found out she was pregnant and my sister’s late husband told her.
Unfortunately, my sister’s husband passed away two days later so my wife then became the main villain
While being stuck together in lock we decided to give it another try for the sake of our daughter after a lot of couples therapy and fixing issues in both ourselves which led to everything.
I can honestly say we are stronger and happier because of it. My wife gave birth to our son in 2020 whom I’ve adopted and see as my own. My family is only barely civil to my wife for the sake of my sick father.
My older sister basically disowned me when I told her I wasn’t divorcing my wife in the last 3 years she’s barely said 6 words to me and they’re usually just “move”
My sister acts like her late husband was a saint and uses the fact he is dead so she’ll just look like the bad guy to her children as an excuse but she never misses a chance to put down my wife and she refuses to acknowledge her children are my son’s half-siblings.
Today I had enough of it you see every Saturday my family meets for lunch to spend time with our father my wife and I told Mom beforehand we had something to tell everyone. When we announced the pregnancy my older sister turned to our other sisters and said “Wonder which one of your husbands is the father” which made them laugh at my wife
My wife looked extremely uncomfortable and excused herself to the bathroom. I lost it. I told her it was time to let it go that I was done with her bullying towards my wife and that she should realize that her bitterness was holding her children back from a relationship with their brother.
My nephew (15) asked me what I meant and I told him my son is actually his half-sibling and his mother won’t allow them a relationship. He asked his mother if was it true she said yes my wicked wife was the reason their father and her were getting divorced then blamed us for his passing.
It got extremely heated between me, my sister, and my nephew, my other sisters got involved calling my wife cruel names then my father told me to leave
My nephew then texted me to leave his family alone and he would never acknowledge his father’s mistake as a sibling.
My younger sisters have told me my nephew is staying with my parents because he is also upset with his mother for lying about their father and keeping from him. She is devastated because she has to tell her other kids now. My wife is happy I stuck up for her and said we should leave it a few weeks and then reach out to the family to discuss everything moving forward and if everyone doesn’t come to an agreement we should go low contact”
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. If YOU want to forgive your wife for being your BIL’s affair partner, that is something *you* can decide to do. You do not get to expect anyone else to remotely forgive or accept her. I can’t even begin to imagine the emotional mess your sister went through finding out that her husband was having an affair and then him dying 2 days later.
They also do not have to accept the kid. Your wife and son are a reminder of a very painful event, and it’s not a level of pain that you can tell anyone to “get over.”” blanketstatement5
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. You caused a scene that harmed the children involved and stressed out your sick father so much that he threw you out.
It also proved you’re a liar – if you see your son as your own, you wouldn’t use the fact that he’s your nephew’s half-sibling as a weapon because, if he’s truly YOUR son in your heart and mind, you wouldn’t consider him your nephew’s sibling in any way.
There’s also the fact that nothing your sister said about your wife was inaccurate; her own history makes it reasonable to question the paternity of any child she carries.” ProfPlumDidIt
Another User Comments:
“YTJ, and while you might not think your wife’s betrayal is a big deal any longer, your sister is clearly unable to move on from it (and she has the right to feel anyway she wishes to).
I don’t understand dragging a child into the mess. He should have been told but not in that way, at that time. Congratulations for screwing over your sister almost as badly as your wife did.” Gullible-Head-1503
11. AITJ For Not Buying A Wedding Gift Despite Personal Problems And Last Minute Notice?
“I am a (24f), as is my (ex) best friend, who I’ll refer to as Leah. Her now husband, who I’ll call Derek (30M) proposed to her after 8 months of seeing each other.
He proposed twice, the first time she said no because she wasn’t ready, and then said yes a month later. While I was skeptical of their relationship (only because so many guys have hurt her in the past and I’m just very protective), I’ve done my very best to be supportive, going as far as to buy a 300-dollar ticket for our favorite music artist as an engagement present to her.
They opted for a courthouse wedding and decided to have the actual wedding a couple of years down the line as Leah is trying to help Derek obtain citizenship in the US. She didn’t tell me about the wedding until a week and a half before the date.
I need at least two weeks’ notice for any time off from my job. I submitted the request anyway, hoping for an exception.
The request of course was denied and I was hesitant to call out as I just earned a raise and a bonus.
It would reflect poorly on me if after being in a meeting with my supervisor where she only talked about how she was impressed with my work ethic, I called out. I decided to just call out cause after all, this was her wedding and it was important to me that I was there for her.
She actually had to call out of her own job just to attend her own wedding.
Fast forward to the days leading up to the wedding, her other best friend had traveled for the occasion and since she ran her own business, it was easy for her to take the week off to celebrate.
A few days after the wedding, my parents announced that they would be looking for prospective guys for an arranged marriage. I instantly spiraled, as this was something that I had no interest in (esp cause I am gay) and I’ve expressed that I’m not interested in an arranged marriage but it fell upon deaf ears.
The day of the wedding came around and I showed up, making sure to be as happy as possible for her. I didn’t tell her what was going on because I didn’t want to ruin her day. The groom’s best friend had overslept for the ceremony and it was completely excused but when the ceremony ended and we went to lunch, I was met with a cold reception.
Derek had paid for everyone’s meal except for my own and I was asked to Venmo him a week later. In addition to that, we had a call once the events were over and she expressed that I wasn’t a good friend and wasn’t there for her at all.
She was angry that I had not gotten her a gift and that I couldn’t put my problems aside for her. Derek was also angry and had told her I wasn’t a good friend. I was expected to apologize to him and I did.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“What did you do to make her think you couldn’t put your problems aside? Clearly, she knows about your issue with your parents and you clearly didn’t do a good job of hiding it so I’m leaning towards YTJ but need more info” Sparkleunicorn272727
Another User Comments:
“There’s a lot of info missing here – so can’t determine if a jerk. I saw a comment about taking back booze that’s a jerk move but you may need to repost with the actual story for people to come to a conclusion.” Jessika1111
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You showed up for Leah in every way you could, and her response was not only ungrateful but cruel. She gave you barely any notice about her wedding, forcing you to risk your job and reputation to attend. You sacrificed a lot—your time, energy, and even your mental well-being—all to be there for her on her important day, even while you were dealing with something deeply personal. Derek’s behavior, on top of that, was shockingly rude.
To single you out at the meal, demand payment later, and then have the audacity to judge your friendship is unacceptable. Leah not only allowed this to happen but doubled down by accusing you of not being a good friend, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
You went above and beyond for someone who clearly doesn’t value your friendship or respect your boundaries. The fact that Leah and Derek chose to interpret your sacrifices as shortcomings says far more about them than it does about you. You’ve done your part as a friend, and if they can’t see that, it might be time to reevaluate what this relationship is really giving back to you.” User
10. AITJ For Wanting To Visit My Family Even If My Husband Is Sick?
“Husband aka Hubs (37M) and I (37F) have been together 6 years, married for 10 months, both WFH, no kids. He’s got ASD.
I have ADHD-PI. We have a routine. Due to life exp and acquired skill diffs (I’ve lived in 4 states after moving out at 18 for undergrad, PhD, and post-doc, vs. he’s in his hometown, did BS at in-town Uni, and moved out at 30, NO judgment, he has no student debt and makes more than I do lol), I handle most probs that pop up, like troubleshooting/fixing things in our rented house.
He asks me for help for all probs big and small, but his gut reaction is to call maintenance. I troubleshoot to decide if a call is needed. I usually can fix it, but I do know my limits. We got a bad rep at our last apt for him constantly in the office complaining and submitting excessive maintenance requests for things with simple or no solutions to the point that mgmt mostly wouldn’t respond to his requests, only mine.
That’s slowly happening in this house, too.
Due to certain circumstances, Hubs hasn’t seen my family except on our wedding day. I don’t see my family often, but now I have a great job that affords travel. In contrast, we live in his hometown as do his parents, so we see them and visit family often.
In June, my brother planned a visit to our aunt/uncle/cousins for niblings + cousins’ kids all under 7 to hang out. Our parents are going since aunt is mom’s sister, and uncle is battling cancer with a great prognosis. We leave this Thurs night and return on Sunday afternoon.
Today (Tues): 2 AM: Hubs feels unwell on the bedroom floor. He has terrible nausea and no other symptoms. He asks me twice to call 911 (people maintenance!), but I keep saying a single episode after which you get some relief isn’t 911-lvl (AITJ?). I believe his discomfort, but he’s a big baby when ill (his words).
Still, compassionate support in these times is why people get married, right? I clean up, strip the bed, make our bed and guest bed so he has sleep options, and go to Walgreens at 4 AM for Pepto and bland foods. He’s asleep when I get back.
7 AM: he feels unwell again and calls Dr for meds, which I happily pick up and pay $300 out of pocket (not a hardship but also not cheap) because it’s not worth delaying treatment to fight his insurance. Dr says this should clear in 24-48hrs.
Now 9 PM: He’s still unwell, was bundled on the couch watching TV but is now back in bed, but no more episodes, so meds and maybe purging culprit helped.
1 PM: Hubs asks how to cancel our trip. I say I’ll likely still go if he’s on the mend by Thurs morning.
He wants me to stay home. I know he’s anxious without me, but I want to see my family, especially my uncle. If he’s mostly better by Thurs morning, WIBTJ if I took the trip?”
Another User Comments:
“You wouldn’t be a jerk for leaving.
I don’t know why we needed your whole life story in the post. Talking about your husband being sick and your dilemma about leaving is enough. Anyway, your husband should be fine being home alone. Who had taken care of him while he was ill, prior to your meeting?
Most people don’t need someone around when they have the flu. But… I have read that men act all dramatic while they’re sick. Go spend time with your uncle who has cancer. And figure out who can com toe check in on your husband a couple of times a day.
I hope you don’t give your uncle or anyone else the flu. Some people can be carriers for illness but not have symptoms.” IllustriousMud5451
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I understand your husband has issues, but wanting you to stay home is not fair. You haven’t seen your family in a long time and you need to go and do that.
By Thursday he’ll probably be better anyway. Do not let him guilt you about this. This is your family.” QHAM6T46
9. AITJ For Considering Not Attending My Best Friend's Wedding Due To Her Abusive Fiancé?
“My (30f) best friend (30f) is getting married in a month and I’m considering not attending anymore because of a fight that recently happened between them which led her to want to call off their wedding.
Her fiancé (37m) is a selfish and emotionally abusive man. They’ve been together for 6-7 years and my friend has mostly told me terrible things about him. All he does is put her down, make her feel unworthy, and take advantage of her. She does everything for him; Bought him a house closer to his work, helps take care of his baby mama’s son, pays for the wedding, and is about to support him in the next 7 years while he files for bankruptcy.
He hardly makes an effort with the people in her life and has a justification for every terrible thing he does or says. I’ve only hung out with him twice ever. He didn’t show up to her own brother’s wedding, mine, nor our other best friend’s wedding.
His excuse was that he doesn’t do weddings and doesn’t want to take PTO for them. Side note – he also doesn’t do funerals lol.
She left him while they were 4 years into their relationship and was growing happier but he weaseled his way back into her life a year later and pretty immediately proposed to her.
It’s been 2 years since and their problems haven’t changed.
Now that we’re at the month mark before their wedding, they get into a fight where he emotionally mistreats her again. Taking the things in her past to degrade her into believing that she’s a terrible person and needs better values because he has better values lol.
At this point, she’s thinking they need marriage counseling for the weeks leading up to their wedding. But he’s been vehemently against any type of counseling in the past saying he doesn’t believe in it.
She’s thinking if he doesn’t give her a definite yes, she’s calling off the wedding.
But I have a feeling even if he says no she’ll still go through with it because most of it has been paid for already.
I’ve tried to give him the benefit of the doubt for her sake. But there are so many red flags about him I can’t ignore.
Too much to talk about in one post. It’s been years of her venting to me and our other friend about their relationship and she ignores our advice. It doesn’t seem like they’re going to get out of this toxic cycle and I don’t support their marriage at all.
I’m tired of trying to be there on the same problems and don’t want to attend their wedding if it’s still happening. I don’t want to fake being happy for their union as I stand up to give a speech about a guy I barely know who’s treating one of my best friends so horribly.
I know if I were to tell her she’d be deeply hurt and it could possibly destroy our friendship but if that’s what it takes to get her to snap out of it then so be it.. I’m not going to stand by and pretend to support a decision I know is only going to aid in her mental decline further.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“This is a tough one. You’re NTJ for feeling this way, I mean any normal and feeling person would. I’ve worked with both men and women in abusive relationships so this is my experience. Sometimes an action like this will cause the mistreated to cling tighter to the person hurting them.
It’s them against the world and bad people know how to use that to their advantage. You will be the outcast until their next fight. As long as you’re ready to lose the relationship with her because you will, that is until she needs you again, then follow your heart.” NoFanofThis
Another User Comments:
“YWNBTJ. You’re not obliged to take on the emotional labor that can come along with knowing an jerk and their victim. It can be hard. But you mentioned how this RS will aid in her mental decline as a reason you can not support it.
Her best friend ditching her wedding, and possibly causing her to feel like she can’t confide in you when her husband is being abusive, will also aid in her mental decline. Again, YWNBTA but you even non-jerks face consequences and I wouldn’t want your hatred of him to overtake your love for her.” dessertshots
Another User Comments:
“This is a tough one. It wouldn’t make you the jerk but it may destroy y’all’s relationship. If she’s already gone back to him once before he’s clearly got her in his grasp and, not showing, may just make her rely on and cling to him more and may give him more fuel to use against her; i.e. ‘even your own BF doesn’t want to see you’ sort of deal. I had a friend in a similar situation (they’re still married and I still hate him, and yes she knows that) but I still went to the wedding to be there for her.
Go and support HER, but don’t keep your opinions and thoughts contained. Let her know your concerns but reiterate that you’re there for HER.” SNW1208
8. AITJ For Not Wanting To See My Aunt Over A Miscommunication From Years Ago?
“So some context. My family is very small, basically me (37F) my mum (72F), her sister (my aunt) 74F) her husband (74M), her daughter (my cousin) (43F) and her daughter’s son (17M).
This happened in 2018. And it’s crazy petty to rip apart a small family. At the time I lived in a city around 300 miles from home. So I would typically visit home every 3 months or so. Worth noting, no one except my mum ever visited me (they all drive, there are plenty of trains and planes and no money worries).
The last few times I had visited it had been various occasions such as birthdays and the females of us had all been out for what I perceived as a girl’s lunch. No issues so far.
I said I would arrange a Christmas meal out (not on Christmas day just in December).
When I finally remembered to book it, I realized I didn’t know if it was just girls or everyone. So I messaged my cousin saying something along the lines of
“Hey sweetie. Just getting round to booking that meal now. Is it girls only or are the boys coming too, just so I know how many people to book for?” (The boys being her son and her mum’s husband).
Well. All chaos broke loose. Unbeknownst to me, my cousin told her mum that I was deliberately excluding her son and didn’t want to see him or spend any time with him. Her mum then phoned my mum and started shouting at her down the phone at my behavior, berating me, etc…
I was out of contact so when I finally saw all the missed calls, I spoke to my mum who was angry with me (she had taken her sister’s word for it, no idea why – I think she was so shell shocked she just accepted the story) – anyway I sent my mum the screenshot of the message and my mum saw my side.
Unfortunately, it caused a rift in the family as I told my cousin I felt really uncomfortable and thought it best to not book a meal. My cousin declined to apologize for basically lying and instead blocked me on every form of social media. And we’ve not spoken since.
My mum and her sister fell out for a while but are now speaking again. My mum also has now moved to my city. Cut to the present day …
My mum’s sister is coming to visit. I have said I don’t want to see her – I feel I am due an apology for having things said about me that weren’t true (from her and my cousin) and I don’t want to be around someone that made me feel so terrible without even an apology.
The thing is I now have a toddler. I’m sure my aunt would like to meet her but I don’t want to see her. I’ve said to my mum she can pick up my toddler and take her home to meet my aunt but I won’t see her.
That’ll make it more difficult for my mum and I also feel petty but I really don’t want to face her.
WIBTJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ and I don’t think this is petty. Your aunt and cousin cursed out and slandered you and your mom… because you asked who was coming to dinner to make a reservation.
They both owe you a sincere and serious apology.” analyst19
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, and frankly, I don’t even understand the cousin’s interpretation of your text. It makes no sense. Did anything happen before that would have led her to want to lie about you?
I’m just curious because this seems crazy. Regardless, I don’t blame you at all for not wanting such toxic people to meet your son.” Lindsayr28
7. AITJ For Falling Asleep At My SIL's Family Dinner Due To Exhaustion?
“I’m a single mother of a 5-year-old and was invited to a family dinner by my SIL. I declined at first as I didn’t have the energy to see them all and I’m very tired. But my SIL begged me to so I did.
Well, it was a mistake. I was so tired. My eyes were so heavy and every time someone talked to me it felt like they were yelling at me and my head was pounding and gosh it was just terrible. I swear I started imagining things.
Then my son came to me and said his cousins are mean and he wanted to stay with me so then I had a bored kid on my lap. To deal with his boredom, I went into the playroom and watched him play because my nieces were actually being mean to him and only stopped because I was there.
I genuinely can’t tell you when but I dozed off. I was sitting against the wall watching him play and I just slept.
I’m assuming my SIL called for dinner during this time and when me and my son didn’t come down, she came up.
She shook me awake which scared the crap out of me and my head was still aching so I was like wtf and she was like “Are you serious?”
It took me a second but I apologized for falling asleep and immediately got up. My son was minding his business playing with a toy.
My SIL was still annoyed and started pacing, ranting about how badly I’d offended her. I apologized again but she started berating me about being entitled and falling asleep in her daughter’s play room like a loser while other people had the decency to help.
I honestly felt like crying because my son was watching and I was so ashamed.
But then she sarcastically said that I was setting a wonderful example for my son, and started to check to list all my flaws before circling back to sleeping in her home and ignoring her while she made dinner for “my entitled self”.
I told her that I was sorry and what else she wanted me to say. I told her I was exhausted and hadn’t slept more than two hours in days and that I couldn’t come but SHE called me every couple of hours just to beg me to come.
I know falling asleep was wrong and trashy of me, but I didn’t do it on purpose and I don’t appreciate her doing all this in front of my son.
She told me to stop acting like I was the only one with a hard life before telling me to go back to sleep because she didn’t want to deal with my attitude.
I just grabbed my son and left. My SIL texted me something but it’s such a long text and all I really got from it was that I took advantage of her kindness and she wants a real apology (aka me inviting her to dinner).
I don’t know. Again, I know what I did was trashy and embarrassing, but am I that terrible of a person?”
Another User Comments:
“I’m exhausted and never want to hear from your SIL again just from reading your post lol. Seriously. You are NTJ.
The only human response to finding a parent fast asleep in the playroom at family dinner is to cover them with a blanket and pack them some leftovers to go when they wake up. Your SIL is awful for pestering you into coming, reacting the way she did, and now insisting you invite her over (wtf??).
Next time stick to your guns when you say no, and stay as clear of her as you can.” mewley
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Why was what you did “trashy”? I can get why it might’ve been embarrassing. Why did she get so mad and see this as a personal insult?
What does your brother that’s married to her think? I’d go no contact w/her if I were you.” stroppo
Another User Comments:
“I hope you went home and blocked her. OMG, if you are so tired you fell asleep propped against the wall on the playroom floor, you were obviously exhausted. They should have tucked you into a spare bed for a few hours while somebody watched your boy.
And then fed something when you woke up. Your SIL is a compassionless monster. NTJ” YouthNAsia63
6. AITJ For Reporting My Manager's Inappropriate Behavior Towards Employees?
“I 23 (f) work as an assistant store manager at a food service job full time. I started back in 2020 and my boss at the time was absolutely amazing.
She was offered a busier store that would help her make a lot more money and sadly, ended up taking it. Of course, we were all curious to find out who the new store manager would be. We ended up finding out it was someone who used to work here a few months prior.
He 26 (m) made a lot of enemies at our store in the past. He was known for having attitude issues, getting into arguments, and being disrespectful. A lot of our staff was not happy about this at all. I had never met him before so I decided I would give him a chance before believing all the things people were saying.
Within his first week, he had gotten into multiple confrontations with different employees. Most of these employees had never once raised their voice or ever spoken out of line before to anyone. At least 3 employees ended up quitting just 2 weeks after he started.
He would come in an hour late to his shifts and just sit in the office while everybody else struggled to keep up with the business.
If he wasn’t in the office he was standing behind you micromanaging your every move. Despite all of this I still stayed open-minded to the fact that he was new and had never run a store before.
A few months went by and I noticed he had been much nicer to me.
He was scheduling me the hours I wanted and complimenting my work (which NEVER happened). We were no longer butting heads and he seemed to have finally gotten the hang of his new position. This is when the flirting started. I, being the oblivious person I am, didn’t really notice he was flirting until 2 of my coworkers pointed it out to me.
The flirting turned into inappropriate comments. I shut it down and told him that it was not okay we worked together and that he knew I had a partner. He didn’t listen and kept making inappropriate advances on me constantly. I finally had enough and cussed him out calling him all sorts of names to make myself as clear as I possibly could.
That finally worked and things were going okay for about a day until I noticed him all over the new hire.
They started following each other around, going out back together, being scheduled together, leaving in the same car, and just being too close to each other.
Now normally I just mind my business but if you’re desperate for some action why don’t you just go on a social media site? Why are you as a store manager going around trying to be inappropriate with your employees? Myself and a few others got together and wrote statements about everything and sent them to our supervisor.
They didn’t fire him I think he just got talked to about it but he’s telling employees that I’m trying to sabotage his job. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You are not trying to sabotage his job, you are trying to protect yourself and your coworkers from his inappropriate and unprofessional behavior.
He is the one who is sabotaging his own job by being late, lazy, rude, and harassing his employees. He is creating a hostile and uncomfortable work environment for everyone, and he is abusing his power as a store manager. He is the jerk and you did the right thing by reporting him to your supervisor, and you should keep doing so until he is fired or stops his actions.” DannSteeler
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. Clearly he is kind of a poor manager and should have taken the hint that you weren’t interested a little quicker. But it is not uncommon for people who work together to start a relationship. It’s not great for one to be the supervisor of the other, but that usually has more issues in the relationship than in the job.
But if the other girl is into him, and is of legal age, I don’t know why you and your co-workers would feel compelled to try to mess up a relationship that doesn’t involve you. I would get it if she was like 16 or something.
But I assume she is an adult and can make her own choices. Leave them be.” Jebusfreek666
5. AITJ For Leaving My Partner Who Couldn't Cover His Half Of The Rent?
“My partner of 4 years has been a bartender for 6 years. He started part-time to make some money to pay for college living expenses and we met in college. He dropped out a year after we met and kept bartending.
He made a fair amount bartending so I assumed he just wanted to do that rather than do college. I didn’t realize that they drank after their shift and he drank at work. He did smell of booze but I assumed he was just around booze all day not that he was constantly drinking.
He didn’t seem to have a drinking problem (or maybe most college kids are heavy drinkers so I didn’t notice) but the last year it’s been bad. I don’t drink much but occasionally I did drink with him. Now I’m working I’m drinking a lot less because work is very stressful and I need to wake up early.
He began not to hide it as well starting just over a year ago. He kept making the excuse he wasn’t able to stop drinking because his coworkers drank and he was a bartender so it would be weird if he didn’t try new cocktails on the menu.
Finally, I got sick of him being inebriated every evening and told him he had to quit drinking or I was leaving. He said he would quit his job since he said being around it was too difficult.
Then he didn’t have a job and took a warehouse job but quit that a month later because it was too hard.
He’s been through about 4/5 jobs in the last year. He gets fired or quits them when they are too demanding. He had some savings but burned through that and then started not covering his share of the rent. I had to cover it because both our names were on the lease.
2 months ago I had had enough and he kept missing his half of the rent payment. When I bring it up he would ignore me or say he will pay me back but he never has. I’m pretty sure I’ve paid about $3800 extra in rent because he keeps running out of money.
He also keeps sneaking booze but I have no idea when he gets inebriated because he’s never inebriated around me. He cried when I told him and begged me not to cancel the lease and said he would pay me all back and even buy a vacation for us but he’s been saying nice things for months and never acting on them.
Anyway, I gave notice to our landlord and moved in with a friend and we are currently roommating. My partner went to his cousins and friends and he’s circulating around with them. I’m getting a lot of hate from them because they think I’m being greedy for kicking him out over me having to cover rent and I should be helping him get sober and back on track.
I was doing that by giving him a year to get his act together and felt like I was being too lenient but AITJ here? He was someone I thought I’d marry and I’d not thought I’d have to resort to this.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Ignore his family and friends. He is making choices and he is responsible for them, not you. You cannot save a heavy drinker: as long as they are drinking, they are like drowning people and will pull you down with them.
You need to take care of yourself. I’m glad you found the strength to do that; I’m also sorry it had to come to that.” AGoodFaceForRadio
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Addiction is a difficult situation. Quite emotional. That said, adults are responsible for the choices they make.
So, while I empathize with addiction, you did not “make your heavy drinker partner homeless”; your partner is homeless because of choices your partner made. Your partner can make different choices, even if they are admittedly difficult ones. And, others may be quite vocal in telling you what YOU should do when they don’t shoulder the burden of their opinion.
You also describe your partner as lazy, which seems more personality than the booze. My experience has been this personality type rarely changes after late-20s. People are who and what they are, not what we want them to be. I think it’s important to put your feelings aside and consider what life would really be like with this guy.
Regardless, you also have a choice: Risk drowning with him or not. Best of luck.” termwarfare
4. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit During Family Trips?
“My(15f) parents take my sister (17f) and I to a mountain every summer to climb it. It’s pretty touristic and about 2-3 hours away from our house. There is a touristic village and all. Usually, we go there as a family, but sometimes, my mom’s best friend and her family come meet us during the trip.
They have four kids: Ana(16f), Dina(13-ishF), Eve(9-10F) and Pam(7-8F).
Every time we see them, my sister gets to do cool things with Ana while I get stuck watching the three other daughters. I have to look after them, occupy them, and deal with the fights and injuries.
If they break something or do something they aren’t allowed to, it’s on me. I basically have to babysit them and I hate it. I have done this ever since I was a kid, so now the kids immediately drag me whenever we go see them, giving me no choice as the adults won’t do anything.
My mother sometimes tries to invite me to do things with the adults, but the kids follow me if I say yes, or straight up say no to me going. And sometimes my sister asks me to go with her and Ana, but my sister tends to make little comments that embarrass me or just insult me when we’re around other people that aren’t our family.
She also tends to tell people untrue things about me. This makes it hard for me to spend time with her. Their parents now just assume I’m gonna deal with the kids and basically dump them on me.
Now, taking care of them wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so insufferable.
I already do not like kids, so not a good start. Dina acts like she’s the queen of everything and if we don’t listen to her, she gets mad and goes to her parents, which gets me scolded and Pam is basically a mini version of Dina.
Eve is the least annoying of them, but she is, in the most respectful way I could say it, a crybaby. Dina and Pam team up against Eve and try to exclude her, or make sure whatever we’re doing is really bad or boring to her.
Then I have to deal with that. In addition to this, Dina thinks she knows and is better than everyone, and Pam is incredibly spoiled.
I have talked to my mom about this, and she does agree that the situation isn’t fun for me and that it is even annoying to her.
But she can’t do much to help, according to her. This time I decided I didn’t want to be stuck babysitting. I told my mom I wouldn’t take care of the kids and would try to avoid them as much as possible. I told her that if her friend wanted me to watch her kids she had to pay me, otherwise I would be doing my own thing when we were with them.
She told me she understood, but my dad sister, and the family might think I’m a jerk. So AITJ for not wanting to babysit on the trip?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ- your mom can do something about this but she isn’t. So talk to her again.
You want to do the interesting stuff. If the kids aren’t going to have a party n vacation babysitter, maybe they can stay home. It might not work. Or maybe the older girls can at least take turns. Or maybe you can negotiate payment.
You still might get stuck with it but it’s worth a try.” blueavole
Another User Comments:
“NTJ- you need to be able to do things and enjoy the trip like everyone else. You need to tell your mom that yes, she in fact can do something about it by telling her friend that you’re not watching the kids on this trip!
She is the adult and needs to handle this! If she doesn’t, just walk out or just say flat-out no and go do something else. You shouldn’t be obligated to watch someone else’s kids. Stick to your plan of not babysitting. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!” Lemonhead_Queen
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I’m calling BS on mom not being able to do anything. Of course, she can! She can either not invite the friend OR she can flat out tell the friend that YOU are NOT watching her kids. You are not a built-in babysitter and this is your trip too.
Your mom just doesn’t want to confront the problem and she’s screwing you over.” SatelliteBeach123
3. AITJ For Taking Back My Belongings After My Partner Cheated On Me?
“So long story short, I was seeing a girl for 6 months, and I lent her things to use, such as a higher-end camera to try out photography because she was interested in it, a television so she could use her Xbox in her room after surgery.
Up until Monday, we were together but it was on Saturday I had noticed on snap maps that she was staying at her “best friends” house, and every time I had tried to just offer to let her stay at my place she couldn’t because she couldn’t leave her cats alone for one night, so I noticed it on Sunday too that she was there overnight and got a snap in the morning of her in his room.
I said something along the lines of oh, you’re at his place, that’s interesting. She questioned how I knew and I informed her of how.
Now this part isn’t too overbearing on the topic but she is on assisted income due to disabilities and can’t work so I would help her with buying groceries, paying rent, paying bills, and paying for movers when she had to move.
Paid well over $2500 to help her with things over the 6 months. I don’t care about the money as I know she would never really be able to pay me back.
The whole time we were together she was constantly messaging new guys from social sites she claimed “My mom or sister put me on it and set me up with them”.
So come Monday I confront her about the best friend and she comes clean. So we stop really talking. Yesterday I messaged her asking if she was home after I finished work getting a response of “Why?” To which I responded so I can come to get my stuff back she replied first with “What stuff” and after I listed off the things she said, “fine”.
I go over and collect my things since things were over and I didn’t want to risk letting my personal items get damaged or even possibly sold. We don’t say a word to each other the whole time I’m there collecting things.
Later last night she posted a story about how “some people are petty and pathetic it’s sad”, now after what happened I’m left to assume it was me she was talking about as I took my long charging cable(10ft) back that she used when she went to bed to charge her phone as I did buy it for myself but was letting her use it.
But I also transferred my home Xbox back to mine because I don’t believe it’s fair that I should have to pay to let her play after what she had done.
So I don’t know, I know she had a lot of red flags, but I tried to always give the benefit of the doubt as I know her family isn’t exactly a great one, and that she had a lot of medical issues.
I tried to make things work to no avail, so I asked you. AITJ for taking back what belonged to me?”
Another User Comments:
“And the worst thing is seeing someone in the small town I live in is hard enough for men, now I have to worry about if she’s spreading lies on social media groups like “be aware of this guy in such and such a city” or “are we seeing the same guy (city name)” she literally made me join the male group asking about females but now that I think about it, it was so she could see if she was being posted” Sairotra_ssyba
Another User Comments:
“NTJ…..borrow is not HAVE!!!!! You were a great partner and a very kind one at that. She made her bed and now has to lie in it and doesn’t get the benefits of being in a relationship and borrowing stuff when she is no longer in the relationship.
Why does she get to walk away with I’m guessing 6k in electronics and camera when she was unfaithful to you? Take everything that’s yours and dodge that unfaithful bullet.” pandatron3221
2. AITJ For Meeting New People On Vacation Despite My Partner's Disapproval?
“Me and my partner have been together for 1 year and a half. I’m someone who is really sociable and likes to meet new people. I also have kind of a big trauma about being all alone. Right now I’m on vacation on a farm, in a small village.
Keep in mind that my cousin has been to the same place a year before me and made friends while being there. It’s been raining for the past three days meaning I didn’t really have the chance to go out. I sent messages to my partner telling him how much I was bored, complaining and I also cried about the fact that these vacations were nothing like I expected them to be.
I was really lonely and depressed by the weather.
Today was sunny so I went to the beach with my family. We sat down next to a group of young people and my dad made a few jokes to them that led to playing volleyball all together.
After the game ended we went home. I sent a message to my cousin asking him if they were his friend from last year and he said yes. He gave me their Instagram and I contacted one of the guys to tell him that I was the girl who played volleyball with them and also the cousin of the friend they made last year.
The guy quickly asked me if I would like to go out with the group this night and I obviously said yes. It’s not like we would go out clubbing or even in a bar, just a meet-up at the beach, something really chills.
When I explained all of that to my partner he was mad right away and he said that if I did go meet them, he wouldn’t talk to me for the next week until I went home.
I asked him what was wrong and he said that he didn’t want me to go out with guys that I just met, and he insisted on “guys” even if there were a lot of girls in the group. I did go anyway and told him we would talk about this later.
At the beach, I got to know the group and I told them straight away that I was in a relationship so there wouldn’t be any confusion. We had a really fun evening. When I went back to the place I was staying at, my partner said the same thing again and even after an hour of talking, he wasn’t changing his mind.
I literally just want to enjoy my vacation with people my age, is that so bad? We didn’t come to any conclusion and he said that the only solution was for me to block them and don’t see them again, or we wouldn’t talk for the rest of my vacation but I don’t want to go back to the horrible state of loneliness I was in.
When I told him that, he said that I can’t compromise so I’m not ready for a real relationship yet. I feel like I’m not in the wrong but I’m not sure, so, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but your partner definitely IS. Having a partner is not the equivalent of taking vows of silence and becoming a hermit–if it’s a normal person you’re seeing.
He needs to get over himself (and you might just want to consider if you REALLY want to be in a relationship with someone who believes he can decide what you do, and who you are going to do it with). It won’t get better, believe me.
Jealous and controlling behavior never does.” ElegantProvocateurXX
Another User Comments:
“NTJ your partner sounds like a jealous jerk who wants you to be miserable and lonely save for him because he has nothing to offer and knows that and is scared you’ll figure that out if you have social interaction beyond just him.
Dump that controlling loser and improve your life He shouldn’t be angry at you for going out and making friends when you’ve previously expressed how sad bored and lonely you are that’s not normal healthy behavior. Love is respect not control he sounds like he wants to control you and doesn’t respect you” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but it sounds like you guys just aren’t compatible. I wouldn’t be happy with my partner either if he told me he met some girls on a beach while on vacation and was going out for drinks with them.
But my partner wouldn’t do that because he wouldn’t want me to do that either. We’re on the same page about that sort of stuff, and it sounds like you and your partner aren’t. I hope you find someone who is.” [deleted]
1. AITJ For Wanting To Uninvite Selfish Friends From Our Group Beach Trip?
“I (18M) have a friend who we’ll call T (18F) and in my country at the end of the school year for year 12s it’s common for everyone to go and book Airbnbs near the beach and host parties to celebrate etc etc. There’s also A (18F) and Z (18M) who are best friends and are also a part of our friend group.
Recently they’ve been extremely selfish and purposely excluding the rest of the group and making weird faces to each other when someone says something and whispering to each other etc.
T has been made fun of by A and Z a number of times which they brush off as a joke, as well as some other people.
T is also way too nice for her own good and is a people pleaser so they hate to be disliked. The problem is there’s a group of 10+ people who will be going to T’s holiday house along the beach (hosted by T for their friends so no accommodation cost).
This was planned earlier in the year. The agreed dates were approx 26th Nov-5th Dec. A and Z knew this but recently decided to book concert tickets for the 28th in the city (a fair bit away) which they would have to leave for.
Now A and Z are expecting everyone to change the agreed dates to accommodate their plans that they selfishly decided to make, knowing that over 10 people had already agreed on those dates to go to the holiday house. They are now expecting T to tell everyone that the new dates are the 18th-undecided date in Nov/Dec.
Another person in the group turns 18 on the 21st of Nov, which is why the original dates were planned to be after their birthday (big family, big celebration). They’re expecting the birthday person to cancel their birthday with the family and just do it at the holiday house.
Another problem is the 18th runs extremely close to some exams that the other people have. Some people finish their last exam 2 or 3 days before the 18th, which isn’t exactly ideal.
To me and a few others personally, it feels as if A and Z are taking advantage of T’s generosity (we have discussed this with T and T agrees – we are also not in any way pressuring T to confront them/reject their demands, as T also does not want to go on the 18th and prefers the 26th).
It feels like a lot of entitlement coming from A and Z, from already having free accommodation provided but now also expecting everyone to change their plans so they can attend a concert together that they didn’t invite anyone else to. We also suggested to A and Z to come AFTER their concert, to which they replied that they ‘can’t’ because Z has another concert on the 1st of Dec.
T has time and time again shown them nothing but kindness and they still treated her horribly.
At this point, most of us don’t want them to come with us. Everyone in the group is fed up with how they treat T and the others and after being spoken to haven’t changed so WIBTJ for telling them that they shouldn’t come on the trip?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – You won’t care about these people 10 or even 5 years from now. Sounds like A and Z aren’t going to be attending. You should not be changing the date. Especially if T is hosting. T’s hosting, it’s her choice. I guess A and Z are out of luck.
And, they are in the minority here. So don’t let them bully anyone and I guess they will be missing out on making good memories with friends because they are selfish jerks.” Mage2177
Another User Comments:
“You wouldn’t be the jerk for telling A and Z they shouldn’t come on the trip—honestly, it sounds like they’ve crossed a lot of lines and have little regard for the rest of the group.
Their behavior is selfish, and their treatment of T is downright disrespectful. T is clearly a kind and generous person who doesn’t deserve to be walked all over, and it’s great that the rest of you are standing by her. The entitlement from A and Z here is staggering.
They’re getting free accommodation, yet they’re demanding everyone rearrange their plans—including someone’s birthday—just to suit their schedule, even when those dates were agreed on long ago. It’s also ridiculous that they’re unwilling to compromise by simply coming after their concert.
It feels like they’re not even trying to respect the group’s effort to plan around everyone else’s needs. If most of the group doesn’t want them to come, and T herself prefers to stick to the original dates, I think you’re completely within your rights to tell them they’re no longer welcome.
You can frame it as a group decision, not something personal, and keep it focused on their actions rather than attacking them as people.” User
