People Tell Their Unforgettable Experiences With A Roomie
28. They're Up During Weird Hours At Night
“The previous roommate had been out of me and my wife’s townhouse for around a month and we decided to take a younger gal in over other applicants because she seemed positive, easygoing, and needed a new break after some hard times living with her parents.
All was great at first until we found out that she had intended to move her significant other in with us.
She asked ahead of time if it was OK if he spent the night ‘from time to time’ to which we said it was fine. Immediately though he set himself up to live there, which involved sharing our food, being up at weird hours of the night, and basically getting a free ride. That was mistake #1 on our part.
She also had a big dog but seemed to have no idea how to take responsibility for it, as they would let it run crazy in the house, and this dog was no graceful gazelle.
They also did not leash him most of the time and so we started getting complaints about it from other residents.
As I said before, they tended to be up at weird hours of the night, which directly conflicted with my needs. I worked a ‘very’ stressful and taxing job, and so on my weekends, I (an introverted night owl) needed to have relative peace, quiet, and space at night.
They would often be up longer than I was, coming and going sometimes constantly, making noise, generally being disruptive, etc. I soon became very resentful of this, even though I should have communicated this need of mine more clearly.
The biggest problem though was that they smoked indoors. I told them I had no problem with them smoking as I smoked at work. However, I made it very clear that all smoking had to occur outside due to my wife’s allergies.
They broke this rule enough for it to become a very big problem for my wife, who sometimes had to go sleep with her parents because she couldn’t tolerate the smoke.
One day I talked to my wife and said enough is enough, their behavior was contrary to the impression we got from our roommate. We agreed that since the guy was practically living there, he would need to pay separate rent and help with food and such.
Can’t remember if we actually got around to discussing this with them, but one day I checked my phone most of the way into my shift at work, to discover numerous attempts of my wife to contact me. I found out from her that the cops came to the townhome due to reports of very loud arguing coming from the couple, and apparently, the guy even challenged the police.
They apparently received other complaints too, which I never heard about.
Enough was enough, I could not deal with their ploys anymore. I sat them down and gently told them that they were pretty much breaking all of our rules. Additionally, we were being evicted a month from then due to this incident among other factors. When I said that the complex cited many complaints of bad behavior on their part, the guy said that they were ‘pulling it out of their butts’ and I couldn’t even deal with this, I was livid.
I was going to give them a month to move out, but I said that they had a week to pack their things and leave.
Finally, when I was checking their old room, there were fleas everywhere, by the hundreds and thousands, and I also found ashes, indicating that they were indeed smoking indoors. The roommate asked if she could have some of her rent back and I told her absolutely not; it was for the month they already stayed and that we were gonna lose our whole damage deposit due to the problems related to their dog… not to mention I was still pretty angry that they didn’t respect my wife’s needs and lied about it.”
27. Each One Of Them Made My Stay A Nightmare
“In 2009 I moved in with my partner, two of his friends, and his brother. Each made it a nightmare for me. I’ll start with the little annoying things and work my way up.
F1 was in the bedroom directly below us. He had a ridiculously loud alarm clock that still did not wake him up. It would literally go off for hours at a time and he would not move.
Great when you work nights and can’t get a good amount of sleep. He was also terrible with doors. I came home one day and knew that he was the last one to leave the house. Not only was the front door not locked, but it was also swinging in the wind. He just plain did not close it. (He did this multiple times!)
F2 was troubled by his ended relationship and moved from his hometown to live with us.
He brought all this baggage with him. He also had an unreliable car and smoked a lot. We knew this going in. We asked that he just didn’t do it at home. One day, I woke up to find him standing at the foot of our bed. He was looking for my partner’s keys because his car wouldn’t start and was just going to borrow his for the day.
More frustratingly, I came home from work one day to find the whole house filled with smoke. F2 and bro were having a sesh in F2’s room. Apparently, the rolled-up towel at the bottom of the door was not effective. Never mind that we were in a rented house that I was responsible for that would now have smoke throughout the soft furnishings including carpet and curtains.
We could be inspected while the smell still lingers. They live with an asthmatic (me) and they were told they can’t do this at home, which they agreed to. Wasn’t allowed to kick them out though, because of who they are to my partner.
Bro is to this day, an arrogant jerk who thinks everyone is beneath him. I came home from what must have been a particularly hard day at work.
Dropped my things on my bed and must have let out an exasperated sigh. That’s when I hear this coming from the en suite bathroom that is only accessible from my room, which is also the only room on the upper level of the house (1 bathroom downstairs and two toilets downstairs by the way.) So just to recap, he decided to take a dump. Instead of using one of the two toilets on the bottom floor, he made his way upstairs, entered someone else’s bedroom without permission, someone else’s bathroom, and took a dump.
Like it was nothing.
Bro: ‘Ummm, hey just letting you know, that I’m in here, so don’t come in.’
Me: (Shocked, don’t know what to think) ‘Hey (Bro) why are you in here when there’s-‘
Bro: ‘Yeah, I’m on the toilet, so maybe don’t talk to me right now?’
After he leaves, I get over the initial shock and privacy invasion and just put it down to the fact that he wanted to use this particular bathroom.
It’s done now. Whatever.
Combined, they created so much stress that it was affecting my relationship. After that, we never share-housed AGAIN.
Bonus follow-on story: A few years later, my partner and I were in a tough spot. We were between leases. One ended before the next was accessible because the previous tenant kept delaying our move-in date. We needed to crash temporarily with F1, bro, and his partner.
We arrived carrying our belongings and our pride. So gracious that we were able to sleep under their roof. We get the tour from bro.
Bro: ‘That’s where you’ll be staying, that’s F1’s room and that’s my room. This is the bathroom that YOU use. There is an en suite in my room. YOU DON’T USE THAT! It’s not for you that’s only for me and (his partner) to use.
You only use THIS one. I don’t want to come home one day and find you using MY bathroom!’
I… was… livid!
1. YOU did that bro! 2. A person with boundaries doesn’t need to be told that. 3. The carpet in your room isn’t visible from all the stuff you have on the floor, I can’t imagine what the bathroom must be like. I wouldn’t WANT to go into your room let alone your bathroom!”
26. The Plastic Bag Had Disgustingly Weird Content
“My freshman year of college I was in a suite with 4 other girls, two bedrooms and we shared a bathroom with 2 sinks, a toilet, and shower/bath.
3 of the girls and I got along fine but then there was Katie. Katie was a bully and pushed around one of the girls who was a little more than socially awkward. She also smelled horrific. Seriously, if she was in the room or had been in there you would come in and think/say ‘What’s that smell?’ She barely showered, stole food from us and stole clothing from one of the girls, and would put the dirty, stinky clothes back on her drawer.
Lucky for us though, she rarely ever slept or even came into our room.
But then we started to get this awful fruit fly problem. They were everywhere, with the majority getting into our food and at least a hundred in our bathroom at any given point. It was disgusting. We tried closing the window and getting screens, didn’t work. We thought maybe they were sewer flies so we poured bleach down the drain.
Didn’t work. We cleaned more, and it still didn’t work. It got so bad I called an exterminator.
The exterminator shows up and it was a rare time I was alone in the room. He looked all over and said they weren’t coming from the drain and it must’ve just been the window. I then begged him to please just look some more, we knew it couldn’t just be the window.
So he listened and looked more, and started following some flies over by Katie’s closet. He bent down and picked up some towels and laundry and found… this thing. Under her laundry was this plastic bag filled with some unidentified object(s) dripping brown liquid. The flies were feeding and breeding off of this thing and apparently had been for weeks. It was so disgusting the exterminator didn’t want to touch it.
It was surrounded by a gross brown stain on the floor littered with dead flies. So we cleaned it out and the stain remained. That day the 4 of us pushed all of Katie’s stuff (filled with flies!) out into the hallway and told our RA we were kicking her out. We never had a fly problem again!”
25. There's Hair Everywhere
“Waking up to random strangers sleeping on my living room floor on a semi-regular basis, including two homeless guys who were invited in by my blacked-out roommate to hang out. One ended up being punched in the face by my roommate’s significant other because the dude called me a jerk when I asked 1) who he was and 2) does he think he can get his stuff out of my house and be gone before the cops arrive.
He was still there the next morning doing illegal things in my dining room.
Guitar music and loud singing by my roommate’s wasted friends outside of my bedroom window at 4:30 am. Generalized screaming and backyard antics keeping me up when I had to be at work at 8 the next day.
Left her in charge of my dog while taking a vacation — huge mistake. She forgot to take care of the dog for over 24 hours so he pooped all over his crate and she blamed it on ‘anxiety.’
Dishes sat in the sink for weeks — at first, I cleaned up all of her things but after a while, I got so tired of it that I started just washing my dishes and seeing how long it would take her to clean her stuff… a half-eaten sandwich sat on our counter for 3 weeks. Similarly, a whole random pile of trash (I think scrapbooking stuff?) was left just chillin’ on the living room floor for weeks on end.
I was so petty that I vacuumed around it.
Constantly left the doors unlocked. I would come home from work and the door would be open. Wake up in the morning and the door was open… anyone could walk in. We didn’t live in the best neighborhood and people constantly propped open the main building door because they were too lazy to bring their keys when walking their dogs.
So all doors would be open all the time.
Allllll of the hair in the shower. This chick shed hair like a husky during the coat-shed season. Never cleaned it up. That was by far the most disgusting thing. Hair in sinks and showers grossed me out and this was on an excessive level.
Also had to press her endlessly to pay her half of rent and electricity bills despite those things being due on the same day every month.
I’ve never cherished living on my own more than I do.”
24. Worst Four Months Ever
“Freshman year of college I lived in a suite. 4 bedrooms, 1 common area, and a shared bathroom. Had the only common wall between me and the jerk. He was a disgusting jerk who never cleaned up after himself (more on this at the end.)
The dude came from a rich family where his parents would throw cash at the problem. At the beginning of the semester, he dropped out of math class and so didn’t have class until 11.
He started staying up until 4:00 AM blaring music and I had class at 9:00 AM. He would get annoyed every time I started telling him to turn it down. He would get angry and yell at me. One time the RA caught him yelling at me and told him to turn it down and started checking every night. The dude just started turning it up right after the RA left. So I figured out which switch to flip on the circuit breaker to shut off his power.
He submitted a ticket to the RD and they sent someone to fix it. I flipped the circuit breaker back on right before the guy showed. He looked like an idiot. Then I got earplugs to deal with his stunts.
Fast forward a month about 6 of us are chilling in the living room and playing my Xbox 360. This dude gets a call and says, ‘hey mom.’ About 2 minutes into the call he is beet red and leaves to go to his room, which shares a wall with the commons room.
He starts screaming, ‘you dumb idiot’ on the phone, and ‘how dare you cancel the credit card,’ etc… about 3 minutes later he walks out, grabs his laptop, and elbows a hole in the wall while heading back to his room. Everyone proceeds to leave to go to another dorm and I run to my room to grab a hoodie and go to catch up at the next dorm.
On the way out, the RA who shared a wall to the dorm heard him hitting the wall and asked what happened. In passing, I said, ‘so and so punched a hole in the wall’ and just kept walking.
A few days later my roommate ran water through my Xbox because he found out I told the RA. Turns out his mom cancelled the credit cards because he bought substances with them.
It’s the end of the semester, so at this point, I had already filled for a room change with RD for the second semester freshman year and was in the process. But before I left for winter break I and another suitemate decided to clean the common area. 7 Trash bags, 12 pizza boxes, and a bowl of top ramen that was shoved in the couch. All was black from mold.
The dude dropped out of college and since he was no longer in the dorm room the transfer was denied. Came back to college and RA had to clean out his bedroom since he just up and left 90% of his stuff. They found 3 holes in the wall and the worst smelling room I have ever smelled. I left the dorm for the day when they cleaned that room.”
23. I Learned To File Requests On Time
“I entered my freshman year of college by living in the dorms since my parents wanted me to try living on my own for a year and visit the weekends. I had to find a roommate but being forgetful I didn’t get a roommate I wanted in the Finder system and was paired with another student at random. He lived in Southern California and was more of the partying type while taking his studies at about an average concern (like me but I procrastinate a lot and I’m no partier).
So on separate days, there were times he’d bring back his significant other and her friend without warning and they would sometimes stay the night. It wasn’t often but I would never get any sort of message someone was coming over.
He also had an electric fan he used for our room to keep it cool because the ac was broken in our dorm, but he ended up losing it in a game of cards so the fan I had was the only thing keeping us from dying from the heat.
Another night he brings a dude from a fraternity he was planning to join back to our room without telling me again, and since I had class in the morning, I had to get up, almost tripping into the guy on our floor with my roommate’s sleeping bag. Finally, he was somehow able to stumble back to our room with his significant other and fraternity friends to throw up somewhat in the bathtub/shower, some of the floor next to the toilet, and the toilet, both on and in.
Being wasted still, he agreed to keep the party going instead of sleeping but leaves his mess uncleaned and I was planning to shower the night before class. I had to get my cleaning gloves and products to clean that up for him and never really brought it up to him. By this point, the school year was almost ending so I stuck it out and at least ended on a good note of being a decent friend to him if he needed something, but the lesson here is to actually file the request for roommates on time to avoid that happening again.”
22. She Locks Me Out Of The Bathroom For Hours
“My first roommate in college was a girl who skipped a grade and was starting early. She definitely wasn’t mature enough for college yet as she spent the first five days crying under her comforter while on the phone with either her mother or significant other. She promptly dropped out and I was roommate-free for a few weeks.
Came home from classes one day to find my dorm room wide open and a new girl moving in.
Wanting to make friends, I offered to help and was horrified to see what her current dorm looked like. Dried, crusty food bowls. Musty, still-damp towels. Piles of dirty clothes. I’m not a neat freak, but this was repulsive. Not to mention how impressive it was to have created that kind of mess in a month.
Later that night I heard that she was causing problems in her old dorm and that’s why she had to move into mine.
It was immediately apparent that she was just a straight-up jerk and things went downhill fast.
She often locked me out of the bathroom for hours even going as far as bringing in her books. These were private baths so I didn’t have other options in the building unless someone would let me use theirs. We had a shared room phone which she started keeping in one of her drawers so I couldn’t use it without ‘going through her stuff’.
My parents couldn’t get a hold of me because she kept hanging up on them and finally disconnected the phone and actually took it with her to classes. My parents had to call the school for a welfare check since I had no idea they were trying to call. I know she once told a classmate that I died when they called. Finally, after weeks of arguing about dirty dishes, refrigerator space, phone, and bathroom usage, when quiet time began and lights went out, etc etc etc, she started accusing me of being racist.”
21. Leave Or Violate Probation?
“I grew up very very quickly and at 17 was able to afford my own place (friend co-signed for me, little trailer 3bd 2 baths) at the time I was on probation for 2 years and had to go by everything my PO said. So to make it cheaper on me I moved in by myself and was like hey why not rent a room or two out?
So I moved this dude in who was maybe 22, he paid me $300 upfront and we agreed to split everything 50/50. Two months go by of him not paying me a dime and I’m like look man you got 10 days to pay me or you gotta go. So the first mistake he made was he didn’t tell me he had pending charges! My PO comes by ironically on the 10th day and finds him there and tells both of us, hey you gotta leave or he’s going to jail for violating probation… I made him leave immediately… His dad had to drive 2 hrs to help him move his stuff.
Another time, a dude I used to hang out w all the time hit me up because he needed a place to stay, I told him to pay half everything and you’re in… Everything’s going well for about 3 months and he starts slowly moving his on again off again partner in… I said well since that’s the case we’re splitting it 3 ways… That worked out for about 3 weeks and he didn’t wanna pay me the other part so he’s like man I got a friend who needs somewhere to live can he stay w us?
I’m like you know what sure that’s fine because I’ll be paying less. Well, this other dude and his significant other move in and he seems alright, everyone’s very aware I’m on probation and there’s no smoking in the house because of random checkups by my PO. The time comes around that it’s rent time… And no one can pay and I’m stuck paying 900$ in bills by myself… So I give them all 10 days to pay or leave.
They decide to play the whole we aren’t leaving game so it’s the middle of January and it’s like 20° outside and I’m like eh screw it ima go stay with a buddy for a few days. I shut the breaker off and they were all blowing up my phone ANGRY. I’m like aye if you paid you’d have heat. Long story short they destroyed my trailer and I didn’t get my $300 deposit back.
And I’m the jerk for shutting the power off.”
20. First Time Seeing Her Have A Seizure
“I have this friend, whom I’ve had a pretty toxic relationship with for years. She’s just the type of person who criticizes you for everything, often in very mean ways too, but she’d get super upset if you said anything about her. Every time someone has an emotional reaction to something she would find it inconveniencing or annoying unless she’s the reason for it, in which case she would turn it around so it’s their fault for getting upset, but whenever she’s upset she needs all the sympathy in the world.
Anyway, I’ve already been studying AV in a school pretty far from home so I had to live in a dormitory. A year later she also starts studying AV in the same school and moves into the same dorm. Before this, she had already been kinda distant, but on the day we moved into the dorm she says something on the lines of ‘I can’t wait to be roommates with my best friend!’ (I’m a trans guy, but I didn’t know it back then so I lived in the girls’ side.) I was happy, ’cause I thought this would bring us closer.
Oh, how wrong I was. I could go on and on about how she treated me for the next couple of years, but long story short she basically abandoned me for her new classmates, who for the most part were total idiots. She made it clear that I wasn’t welcome in hanging out with them and she would hang out with them all the time.
Even when I did hang out with her she would just message them the entire time and when I was upset by her behavior she accused me of being clingy.
As for the roommate part; I’m not a tidy person and she complained about me being messy, but when we got a notification about a mess it was because of her, but that’s not the worst of it.
The worst part was one Sunday when I was returning to the dorm (it was the kind of dorm where students could stay for the weekdays but had to leave for the weekends), I get a text from her saying that she’s going drinking with her new friends, making it clear that I wasn’t invited. At that point, I was just exhausted with her and didn’t want to argue.
Since most of the students in the dorm are underage they had a strict no-drinking policy and it included coming there while intoxicated so I figured that she’ll be staying with her friends, but then I wake up in the middle of the night when she comes into our room, completely hammered and crying and she starts hugging me (after ignoring me for weeks). I ask her what’s wrong and she tells me that she confessed to one of her friends that she has a crush on him, in front of everyone, but he turned her down.
I’m really tired, both with her and because it’s like one in the morning, but I try to make her feel better.
Then she goes to the bathroom to vomit. I ask her if she’s okay and she basically curses me. At this point, I’m ready to just go back to bed but then I hear her falling in the bathroom. I rush back inside and see her having an epileptic seizure.
I was aware that she has epilepsy, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen her having a seizure so I panic. All I could think to do was put a pillow under her head and go to wake up the lady who runs the dorm, she lived just down the hall. I tell her that my friend is having a seizure, I didn’t mention the drinking.
She calls an ambulance and sometime later two paramedics take her into the health care center, her seizure has passed at that point, but she’s a little disoriented and still very obviously wasted. The dorm lady tells her that she’s getting a warning because of the drinking and tells me that I did the right thing.
The next morning she comes to school and is clearly upset because of what I did.
Another story is when I moved out of my parent’s house after graduating and the only place I could find was a shared apartment with three other people. I knew two of them, both really nice people, the house was gorgeous and the rent was cheap, but the third guy was creepy. He would complain about everything, while he himself wasn’t paying his rent, he was noisy, often wasted and one day, I kid you not, he was phoning someone, yelling things like ‘I’ll kill you!’ and then leave the apartment with an ax.
I was so relieved when he got kicked out for unpaid rent.”
19. His Laziness Is Out Of This World
“I have had different roommates over the years. A lot of them have been bad but this one guy takes the #1 spot. Let’s call him SD aged 27 but mentally 14. We met each other during our orientation for our college a couple of years ago. We lived at different places before but would always hang out after classes since we had a lot of common interests.
We moved to a big city for work and decided to live together since we knew each other. We got a cheap two-bedroom apartment.
At first, things were great. We would cook together saving us cash and time. We were clean and would always ensure that we balanced each other’s common spending (e.g. if I got TP he would get the hand tissue roll etc.)
As we learned more about each other I realized he was a good friend but a bad roommate. (Now I am a guy and don’t have particularly high standards for cleaning but this dude tested my patience.)
He would pee with the toilet seat down so there would be pee all over the toilet seat. I had to yell at him multiple times for him to clean once but he just would revert back to peeing on the toilet seat like a small kid.
I thought I would be living with an adult but this was clearly a sign that I wasn’t.
We only had one washroom in the apartment. He would poop (not shower and brush just poop) for 40-50 minutes and make me late for work almost every day. No calls or texts would make any difference. Then he would tell me to message him on social media if he is in the washroom like huh.
He uses one full TP roll each day and doesn’t replace it ever. Unsure what he does with all of it. It’s not that I couldn’t afford it but dude enough is enough. I had to get my own TP and hide it in my room so he wouldn’t use that as well. Also, he would get mad if TP was finished and wasn’t replaced, even though he’s the one that always finishes it.
We had set up a schedule for cleaning the common areas once a week which I think is more than doable for any human being. If I cleaned the washroom he would clean the kitchen and living room floor and vice versa the following weekend. His standards for cleaning were that of a poor person. If he cleans something I would have to go and clean it again.
For e.g. If he mopped the floor of the living room it would look like it was never mopped. I would have to go and mop it again to ensure it is clean.
Once I came home after a week on vacation and found a pile of wrappers of cookies and chips on the dinner table. Went to use the microwave and found food that had spilled over on the microwave glass plate (this has happened multiple times and I cleaned it out of grossness).
I was furious and confronted SD. His response was I will clean it later and he went back to playing his games. The following day, he put all the trash out and cleaned the dinner table. I go to check the microwave with high hopes and it was cleaned from the outside and was still the same inside. I had to show him a YouTube video on how to clean a microwave.
The microwave was back to its dirty condition from the inside in no time though.
I have been telling SD to take out the delivery boxes from Amazon that he gets. He however has all the boxes piled up in a corner of the apartment. Initially, I took them out thinking he would do the same. After trying to tell him to take them out for almost a year (yes a year.
I was that patient) I lost it. I yelled at him till he got up from his computer chair not to take the boxes out but to yell back at me with no logical reasoning. He didn’t take them out saying that I asked him to clean the washroom too which he hadn’t done for months now.
Eventually, his job prospect didn’t work out and he was at home unemployed. This was the worse time of my life.
He wouldn’t shower for almost a week and the whole house would stink of his bad body odor. One day I came home to seeing used plates sitting on the dinner table. Food had dried out and gave a foul odor. I went to confront him and he was sleeping in his room. He woke up when I went out to eat more and left that plate on the dinner table over the first one.
I come home again to more of this and flip out on him. SD’s reasoning for leaving the plates – When he was eating he felt like he had to poop urgently so he went to the washroom urgently then went to get something from his room and passed out (Can someone be this lazy).
We both were on the lease. The lease states you have to give 60 days’ notice before moving out.
SD said he has no plans to move out at first and will look for a different job after being unemployed for 3 months. One month later tells me he is moving out in 30 days. I later find from my mutual friends that SD had no plans on staying back and was always going to move out. Thank you for informing me in advance loser. He was too lazy to help me look for a replacement for him (rent was cheap for the location).
I found a replacement and I told SD to take all his stuff out before it moves and to of course clean his room. He said he has a cold and may need some help. I wanted this pile of negativity out so I said I will come home by 6 pm the same day and help him. He decides to clean his room (his version of cleaning) by himself and leave.
I come home and find 4 big bags (25 lbs. each) of garbage staring at me as soon as I walk in. I go to his room and it’s in the worse condition it could ever be. Boxes and boxes of empty delivery boxes. Room stank of his odor. Left his bed and some other stuff behind. I go check the fridge and his food is all there.
Now we divided our fridge compartments so I would never look at what he would get. I had to clean his part of the fridge for two hours. Everything there was expired from two years ago, moldy. The bottom had turned brown from white.
I call him and he said he cleaned by himself and left. I yell at him for all the stuff he has left behind and he tells me to just take it out.
He then hands the phone to a mutual friend who is yelling back at me cos SD told him I was the lazy and dirty one. SD’s reasoning – I left this for you (I am in no need of your garbage loser).
SD is now living with this mutual friend for a couple of weeks before he goes back as he doesn’t want to pay rent.
This mutual friend calls me back in a week to say sorry now that he sees how dirty SD is and commends me for dealing with him
New roommate comes in. Obviously doesn’t want SD’s bed and is extremely mad. I apologize and help him clean everything and take the bed out. SD has also left his smelly linen which he probably never washed. This wooden bed had to be dismantled and took hours to take out.
We now find used Q-tips and used napkins under and behind the bed.
By far the grossest person I have lived with. All these are from one person only. May you rest in your own trash SD. By being yourself you have lost a good friend. Hope you read this SD. You know who you are.”
18. Christian Girl Got Obsessed With My Cat
“I’m currently living with an exotic dancer and a (very rich) conservative Presbyterian girl whose mom was a preacher.
We’re all sorority sisters but I’m from a chapter across the country.
It doesn’t take long to figure out which end of the roommate spectrum I’m on. There’s a massive pride flag hanging on my wall but since it’s not a rainbow flag, Christian roommate has no idea what it is. I could tell her but she cried for three days when she found out our roommate was an exotic dancer.
She has no idea that I’m not a completely innocent educator.
But yeah it’s been a wild three months. I have an eating disorder. Christian girl compares my body, her body, and dancer’s body constantly. I manage said disorder with a keto diet. She decided she’d do keto. Then wanted no help and said we were calling her fat and sabotaging her for trying to help.
Then she brought home this guy with a super sketchy backstory and he showed up at our house talking about a girl he met in a bar… the first time we met him. He was intoxicated and drove himself. She didn’t know he was wasted. I had to explain it to her the next morning. He stupidly drove to her house three more times and then ghosted her.
Then, weirdly my sorority little died in a freak car accident and my partner came to console me, but Christian girl got there first. So we all went to get food so I could cry into my salad and she suddenly developed a crush on my partner. Then she got obsessed with my cat.
She went around our house listening to the artists my partner listens to and then tried to mess with my cat’s food because she said I was feeding her too much.
And I thought the crush on my partner was just like a small little thing but it continued for at least six weeks and she always brought it up. Then she would bring people over and they’d inspect my cat to tell me it was too fat. (She’s a perfectly healthy weight, she’s just fluffy.) She tried to invite herself to the birthday trip my partner planned for me so I had to switch the weekend of my trip.
She was very mad. I now can’t have my partner at the house anymore because it gets so uncomfortable. I’m not insecure like if you want my partner you go for it friend but I doubt it’d work. It’s just the premise of how creepy it is.
What really caught me off guard was when she brought her childhood best friend in. She told her friend I was bipolar ‘in case I had taken my meds’ before she even told her my name.
I don’t even remember this chick’s name and she was at our house for like three hours but that was pertinent information.
Then she brought her mom over. They took the leaf out of our kitchen table and told the dancer (who owns our house) she should put it in the shed. She didn’t understand why we were upset that her mom rearranged our house without asking.
She also was like oh, I think you’ll like my friend. You have similar stories. Her mom did illegal things while she was pregnant with her. I was just like oh, she sounds great but WHO SAYS THAT. My mom is just gay! Like I have a master’s degree (if I finish my thesis by December) and I literally am the youngest person to ever have the job I do???
And this is small but the dancer baked cupcakes and had them cooling to take to a party. Christian girl came in and ATE ONE and didn’t even ask. The other roommate was just kind of like what in the world.
Like she has no idea at all it’s like she’s totally oblivious. I’ve never seen anything like it.
She also took me to a fried chicken place on my birthday (I’m from Nashville) and then said that they just had a ‘new spin on American cuisine’ and it was literally a southern diner.
I was just kind of dumbfounded.
She told me she didn’t grow up with much but enough to get by. Her dad is a silicon valley executive (who basically insinuated I was mentally slow??) and their house just sold for 3 million dollars.
It’s just been a very confusing journey. I needed a break so I took my cat and I’ve been gone for almost a month.
I tell them it’s so I can focus on my thesis but really it’s just really weird to live at home right now.”
17. She Thought Her Lies Would Impress The Judge
“I moved in with this woman, who I could tell from the beginning was a little nut-balls, but I figured they were just innocent quirks. Plus, I was in a desperate situation, and her price was really good considering how expensive our area is.
So I moved on in.
Within a few days of moving in, she started talking about how she needs to go to another country to get her car, but she needs to be there for 2 months. ‘But it’s Spain! I mean, anywhere else you can just spend a week or two, but not Spain! You need to be there for at least 2 months because it’s Spain!‘ Here’s the kicker, she wanted me to pay $200 more for rent during those two months, and move all of my stuff to her bedroom, while she rents my room out to someone else during that time.
Thankfully, she never followed through with this ridiculous idea.
I left a dish on the drying rack. When I was at work, she sent me an email about how distressing this was, and how it discouraged her from making lunch with her significant other that day. She copies and pasted the Florida Statute of ‘tenant responsibility to maintain premises’ to back up her supposed anguish.
Let me please emphasize that this was one single dish, which was the small pan I used to make eggs that morning. They had entire countertop surfaces, including an entire island in the kitchen, to make whatever they wanted, but my pan on the drying rack somehow destroyed her plans for the afternoon.
Did the same thing when I started to take out the trash.
I was in a rush on the way to work. I tied up the trash bag and forgot to take it out to the dumpster. I was running around, where’s my purse, where are my keys, get my shoes, so my mind was somewhere else, and I simply forgot to take the bag and put it in the dumpster. A couple of hours later, I realized this and ran back to the apartment and took out the trash (work was only 2 minutes from the house).
Later that day, hours after I took the trash out, I received an email with another Florida Statute that I had supposedly ‘violated’ by tying up the bag and not bringing it to the dumpster. Once again, I had caused her distress.
She constantly went into my room. But it’s weird because she was not taking anything. I installed cameras to see what she was doing.
I still have the videos of her just walking in, looking in my closet, and leaving; other times, she would go into my bathroom and rifle through my stuff. But the weirdest video? I had towels hanging on a hook. There was a video where she purposefully went into my bedroom, and made a beeline for the towels, and started inspecting each and every single one of them.
Looking at the tags, everything. Then she walked away from the towels, then turned around again to go back to the towels (as if she was thinking ‘wait, I forgot something). It was really, truly bizarre and I still show it to people because of how weird it was.
After about a week or so of watching her go through my stuff, I broke my lease.
In our state, a month-to-month lease requires a 7-day notice. I told her there was some family emergency, and I will be out by the end of the month. She started crying and throwing a tantrum about how I didn’t give her 30 days.
The next morning, I kept my cameras on and she made a rampage through my room. She found one of the cameras (my iPad, actually) and flipped out.
She went through my iPad, deleted apps, and even went into my email account and deleted the app notifications that were sending videos to my phone (a camera app called ‘presence’). She went into my social media account and deleted posts. She even sent iMessages from my iPad. I realized what was going on, and I used the ‘Find my iPhone’ app to lock my iPad.
I left a threatening message on my iPad, and she ran out of the house.
I left and went to the police station, where a cop helped me move out. My dad helped me later. My boss compensated me for the hours lost.
I took her to court. She wasn’t giving me back my deposit, claiming that I set the carpets on fire, kicked in the walls with ‘my pointy shoes’ (trust me, this would have hurt me more than it would have hurt the wall), yet she couldn’t provide any evidence of it.
She got railed by the judge and she started crying, and they kept threatening to kick us both out and reschedule the court date. ‘I had a whole team of people who will testify that he is a slob!’ My father and I provided photos, and videos of me leaving the place absolutely spotless, yet somehow she makes these claims that I kept burning the carpets, that I dragged mud everywhere, that I wrote on the walls.
In court, she brought in a document that was supposed to be our ‘lease.’ We didn’t have a year-long lease, but she made a whole document and even put in a timestamp, and forged my signature on it. I showed the judge a text message from a later day, showing her saying something like ‘Let’s just try this out for a month, and see how that goes, and then we’ll figure out an official lease, how does that sound?’ The judge completely TORCHED her for this.”
16. He's A Credential-Fabricating Liar
“My wife and I had another couple living with us and we quickly became best friends. For convenience, we’ll call them Eric and Beth (names have been changed to protect me from drama).
To begin with, Beth was great. We still love Beth. Eric, on the other hand, not so much.
Eric was ex-military. He had some stories that weren’t great, but they were believable.
I have a number of friends in the military, and they all have a habit of stretching the truth, so I didn’t think much of the dishonest parts of his story. He also claimed to be a graduate of the University of Alabama Arizona.
Well, after months of living together, Eric starts to annoy us with trivial pettiness. I got up one day at 4 am on a Saturday and spent hours cleaning parts of the house.
I did four loads of dishes, turning the train wreck of a kitchen into something mostly clean.
Around 9 am I hear Eric get up and turn on his music, and I go back to my bedroom and lie down for a bit.
About an hour later, I hear Eric coming down the stairs, and I figure I could go out and socialize. I knew he was free all day, so I figured if I showed him the state of the house, I could talk him into doing a bit more cleaning that needed to get done.
So, I meet him in the kitchen, he’s playing games on his phone, and I tell him that I had done some cleaning and would like him to finish clearing anything left in the Kitchen before the end of the day. He looks me right in the eye and tells me that he was up at 6 am and that he already did a couple of loads of dishes….
I was up cleaning the house from 4-8, and I never saw you. The dishwasher is full of clean dishes that I loaded! So, I told him ‘I’ve been up since 4 am, and I would like you to do some additional cleaning please.’
30 minutes later, he leaves to go smoke with his friends. Nothing done.
I shared this with my wife later that day, and she tells me she’s had similar problems lately, so we decided to do a little digging to see what else he lies about.
For some reason, the topic of ‘did he really go to college?’ came up. His social media says B.S. in Physics from the University of Arizona, so we use an automated fact-checking tool to see if he really got a degree. Cost us $20, and within an hour we had a letter showing that he was never awarded a degree. So, just to be certain, we called the physics department dean and asked if she could confirm or deny that a student by his name was ever enrolled. She looked it up and told us that nobody by his name was ever a student in the Physics department, and the only person with his (very unusual) last name that was a student at the university in the past 10 years was a girl in the Drama department….
This was bad. So we pulled out a bit more cash and had his arrest record pulled in all 50 states. 49 states were clear—but in Massachusetts, he had active warrants for fleeing the state after being convicted of trespassing, burglary, illegal dealing, and vandalism. He fled when he was still on probation and was barred from leaving the state. He had served a few years in prison, and those years directly overlapped with the years he was supposedly in the military…
Idiot was a dealing, burglarizing, valor-stealing, credential-fabricating liar.
Our landlords were my wife’s parents, and we told them all this. They responded by inventing reasons to evict them, and then evicted them illegally… Not the proper response, but we didn’t really want to argue.
Eric steps up and tells us he’s going to sue. I say ‘I know about your warrants, I know you didn’t go to school, I know you’re stealing valor, and I want you out of this house.’ He went completely pale and never said another word to us as he packed his stuff up and left.
They moved to Florida, we moved to Washington, and aside from following Beth on social media, we don’t talk anymore.”
15. I Can Say She Beat Me Up
“I had a roommate once that was severely mentally ill but I had taken her in because she literally had nowhere to go. She wasn’t paying rent, I was trying to help her get on her feet after a bad breakup. I was listening to my stereo in the living room one day and she came out of her room, went to the stereo, turned it down, went back into her room, and locked the door.
I turned the stereo back up (it wasn’t that loud, to begin with). A few minutes later I was standing facing the window across from my desk when she came up behind me, picked me up, and tried to throw me through the window (she was quite a bit bigger than me, and I was home because I had blown my knee out at work & was still on crutches while the docs decided if I needed surgery).
My printer was in front of the window so I ended up on top of it with her punching me in the face. She picked me up, literally around my waist, and slammed me into the hardwood floor several times, messing up my bad knee more and my good knee as well, she was throwing me around like a rag doll at that point.
Finally, I took both fists and punched the side of her head and ears until she dropped me.
I then grabbed the phone (this was like in 1998 so a landline) and called my boss (still not sure why) and he called the police for me. They came and asked me if I wanted to press charges, and I told them just to get her out of my house & have someone come get her stuff. They took her to a mental hospital and I never saw her again — found out a couple of years later she passed away right after she was let out of the hospital. It still bothers me that maybe I could have helped her more than I did had I have known she was mentally ill (we weren’t like close friends, she was a friend of a friend), but I can honestly say she beat me up and made me leery of helping people out for a long time.”
14. Won't Give Her The Satisfaction Of Seeing Me Cry
“I had already committed to living with a roommate in college for a second year before she started acting up. It started simply enough — she began acting strangely with a new friend of mine I’d invited to sit with us and a couple of my roommate’s friends. We were in the hallway’s lounge one night when she came in and asked everyone in the lounge if they agreed with her — that criminals didn’t deserve humane treatment because what they did wasn’t humane.
When no one agreed with her she got angry, slammed the door behind her, and shunned everyone in that room for days. She finally started talking again when someone else that was in the room begged her to because it was contributing to their anxiety — so my roommate relented.
Most infractions between then and a year later were in that vein, typical shunning then yielding when she couldn’t go without validation any longer.
There reached a point when I grew tired of placating her: I wouldn’t allow her to drag me to events so she wouldn’t have to go alone anymore, I took out our recycling a little less frequently. Once she asked ‘what do you do for me?’ when all she ever did was do her laundry (and leave it all over our floor after) and occasionally take out her trash, while I dutifully turned off our light every night (she’s afraid of the dark), and tried to keep things passably clean (see: she never cleaned — aside from one time she vacuumed her half of the room because her significant other was coming over; she also threw up in our sink, then acted like she didn’t know why there was moldy food trapped in it).
I’m not sure what the final straw was for her, but it all went to chaos a few months before the school year ended. She stopped talking to me and turned her attention to finding little ways to spite me. I lived in the library—coming back around 1 AM to sleep and typically leaving for my early morning classes before she got up. I found leaves torn off my plants and left in my trash can.
One night she called her man and talked to him until well after 2 AM—he tried to end the call several times but she kept him talking until his phone actually died (at one point she actually insisted he tell her she’s ‘prettier than Beyonce’). A couple of days later she invited him over, he was in our room until after 2 AM (previously he’d always left by 10 PM) because she sat on his lap to prevent him from leaving.
She’d leave the lights on and the curtain open when she left in the morning the one time a week I had class after her.
When finals arrived she really had it out for me. My school email started getting bombarded with emails — she signed me up for car insurance quotes, tire quotes, house quotes, two prepaid debit cards that were sent to me in the mail.
I got a total of 50 of these emails, most during finals but they went on into the summer, even one last Friday — almost a year later. One time she came back early on a weekend (the only time I’d spend some time in the room I was paying for), got into my space, and cursed me out. She called me some choice words and said ‘it’s no wonder no one’s living with you next year’ because I’m such a terrible person (I opted to live alone this year — wonder why).
She blamed everything on me, tried to gaslight me saying all along she’d tried to be my friend, she’d never said anything behind my back (a lie — a friend she still ate with would catch me up on the goings-on where I was concerned), how she’d once defended me when a friend accused me of being cold or something. My only words to her were a calm ‘sure’ and ‘I actually think we’re both in the wrong here.’ No tears.
Nothing. It was a mess. I went back to my room even later despite it being finals. One time she purposely set her alarm to wake me up after she’d left for a final — but she was always so loud it wasn’t like I was sleeping anyway.
Here’s the kicker: when I was moving out I found hummus on one of my towels, I found hummus on my comforter (on the inside, who does that??).
I found dried salsa on another towel and my suitcase in my closet. While taking apart my bed I found crushed tortilla chips between my sheets and comforter. Who thinks of these things??”
13. He Accused Us Of Trespassing
“In 2012 I lived with 4 friends and a couple who we knew through some people. The couple was both jerks that sucked to live with, but the night before they moved out proved that they were also just ugly human beings.
The guy was dopey and inconsiderate. He lost his job about a month after we all moved in, and would spend the day alone in the house, going into other people’s rooms to smoke, and using their computers.
My room was on the top level of the house and led outside. I normally had no problem letting people go through my room to smoke or hang out on the roof, however, there was the time where I had just broken up with my significant other on the phone and was sitting on my bed sobbing (my door was glass so anyone coming up the stairs could see inside), and this dopey jerk comes up and wants to go smoke on the roof, and is annoyed when I shake my head with tears streaming down my face.
The girl was the most uptight idiot I have ever met. Dishes couldn’t be left in the sink for more than an hour without some passive-aggressive group text being sent out, if anyone was in another room on the other side of the house speaking at a normal volume she would march over to tell us to shut up. We couldn’t even walk down the hall with shoes on because she deemed it to us just being loud and inconsiderate.
If anything was left in the communal areas that didn’t belong, she would throw it away indiscriminately (including $60 worth of fabric I had bought that same day). Once when I was late on rent she came into my room at 7 AM to wake me up to tell me I better ask my parents for cash or something ‘or else.’ Keep in mind this was the first of the month, and the first time I had ever been late.
One night I came back home late with my ex, who was wasted. I told him to be quiet specifically because I knew Idiot Roommate would pitch a fit. I was able to usher him towards the stairs to my room, but he stopped in the kitchen to talk to my roommate (he was friends with the 4 friends I lived with). Minutes later I hear the door to Idiot Couple’s room open and both of them come bounding down the hall, Girl leading the way with the Dopey Jerk sniveling behind her.
She starts screaming and going on a tirade at how inconsiderate we all are, and my significant other starts screaming back at her, calling her a witch, etc. I’m finally able to just get him upstairs to my room, and the next day the couple announce that they are moving out. They don’t talk to or interact with the rest of us very much at all after that.
Much rejoicing is had.
Cut to a month later and the Idiot Couple is moving out the next day. We are all hanging out in my friend’s room, including my significant other. We are admittedly being kind of loud, but my significant other is sober and is a very meek and quiet person when he’s not wasted. Suddenly, we hear the telltale sounds of angry footsteps (the Idiot Couple were both Very Large People), and Dopey Jerk barges into the room, screaming that my significant other ‘threatened (girl)’ the last time he was here (he didn’t) and that he told me that he wasn’t welcome here anymore (he never did).
I was pretty annoyed and basically told him to shut up, that he was a liar and that my significant other was a friend and guest to everyone in the house. His response? ‘He’s trespassing and I’m calling the cops.’
Cops are called, and my significant other and one of my roommates leave the house and go hang out at a park we lived near before they get there.
I am livid at this point. The cops come and one takes a statement from me and the roommate who was in the kitchen the night of The Incident, and the other talks to Idiot Couple. After a few minutes both cops convene, tell us that the girl admitted that my significant other never actually threatened her and that because he had no contact with her while there that night and that he was invited over by people who had their names on the lease that they had no cause to do anything.
And so they left. Idiot Couple went back to bed, my significant other came back from the park, and the next day the two worst people I have ever known moved out. Two years ago I saw the guy was single so RIP to their messy relationship as well.”
12. Gave Her A Hard "No" Then Walked Away
“Renting from a divorced mid-50s-60s-year-old Eastern European woman. Met on a roommate finding site.
Renting her underground room/’apartment’ in her home, with a sliding wooden door as the only barrier between my place and the rest of her house. Moved in about a month back and everything seemed fine. She was very sweet, and she seemed to like booze and sleeping on her couch, but that was about it. Then I noticed every night when I got home she’d say hi and sound wasted. Not my place to judge so I let it be.
A few weeks back I notice that she hasn’t been going to work. On top of that, she consistently stays up until 3 am or later walking around upstairs, occasionally dropping things or maybe even falling. She vomits loudly most nights she’s up this late, and I can hear it very well. Some nights this would be joined with crying followed by a phone call to someone.
Sometimes even a visitor at around 4 am. The next day, she’d say hey, still sound wasted, and act as if nothing happened. It keeps me up almost every night.
Finally this past week she somehow had two tires blow on her car, so now has no mode of transportation. My belief is that she has been walking to the store in the morning, buying booze, finishing it by the time I get home, then proceeds to find a way to start a conversation, or complain about her ex-husband or nephew, tell me she’s substance dependent and that her doctor won’t give her the medicine she needs to fix it, so she has to drink then asks me to go buy her more booze, saying she’ll stop ‘soon.’ At first I had to kindly refuse because she was a sobbing mess and I told her ‘That it would make her feel worse’ even though it just didn’t feel right buying it after everything she told me.
She would then get really upset and cry on her couch, feet away from where I’m living, for hours before passing out. Now, this keeps happening, and it happened again last night. She forgets that we had the conversation and that I told her I didn’t want to buy her booze, so I’ve had to be stern and give her a hard ‘No’ and just walk away.
While it may not seem all that bad, living with a substance-dependent person is odd. I’ve dealt with a parent and a sibling that had issues with that. This is an older woman that presents no physical danger to me. However, those people, or anyone with a substance abuse issue, are unpredictable. Being constantly inebriated means that they’re making all of their decisions through a messy filter.
They’re unpredictable, they can hurt themselves or others, and renting a property from one is terrible because I never want to go home because I don’t know what to expect.
So yeah, my current housemate/roommate is rough…”
11. We Brought Him To A Homeless Shelter
“3 of my friends and I live in a 5 bedroom house and were looking for an extra roommate to live in the empty room.
Our old roommate who had lived with us the previous year had moved out before his lease ended and had given the super short notice, and thus put an ad on Craigslist to find quick potential roommates.
This was mistake number 1. We were also unprepared when checking this guy out beforehand or asking for references. (Mistake number 2) Now for sake of keeping personal names out of it, we’ll call this guy Pedro.
So Pedro moves in the last week of January on a Friday. We show him the room we are offering him and asks if he needs help getting set up.
He says no and proceeds to go sit on the couch in the living room. My roommates and I talk with him for a bit, introduce ourselves, and invite him out for a quick drink as a nice gesture. He declines, we proceed to go out and when we come back, Pedro is passed out on our living room floor. No big deal, right?
Wrong.
This would be the last time we had any verbal interaction with Pedro. The following week, Pedro remained in the same position, lying on the floor of our living room with a blanket draped over him.
The next few days, the state of the living room got worse and worse.
For reasons beyond my knowledge, Pedro’s diet consisted of Dum-Dum lollipops, Chef Boyardee, and OUR drinks.
The dude doesn’t say one word to us when we walk by him but just continues to drink all of our booze in the house. The worst part of this is he never threw anything away, so there were dozens of lollipop sticks that were stuck to the carpet, and cans stuffed under the couch. One of the most peculiar things that Pedro did, or rather he didn’t do was bathe.
The smells and odors that arise from a person’s body when they don’t shower and all they drink is booze are truly nauseating.
After about a week had passed and we realized that it would be a herculean task to continue to live with this weird slob. We tried to see ways we could evict him, and it was fortunate that he had not signed a contract, so really all we had to do was kick him out.
The plan was to wait until the weekend had passed as my landlord wanted to get a gun in case the situation got out of hand.
However, the plan was expedited when on Friday morning (a week after he had moved in) he invited his dealer to the house while our roommate was in the kitchen.
The majority of that afternoon was spent trying to get Pedro out of the house.
At first, we were trying to figure out if we should just bring him to a nearby park as Pedro said he had nowhere else to go. Finally, we came up with the solution to bring him to a homeless shelter, We called the nearby shelter and after confirming that Pedro wasn’t a moral offender, agreed to take him.”
10. They Stole My Cat And Trashed The Apartment
“When I first moved in with my fiance, there were 5 of us in a 3 bedroom apartment.
My fiance and I, my fiance’s friend, and another couple. I have no problem with my fiance’s friend, he still lives with us in fact. I have every problem with the other couple.
They stole my cat and dumped her somewhere because she didn’t like them. Ate peanut butter out of my grandmother’s vintage glasses and left the PB in there for weeks.
Never took out the trash or did any dishes, always late on the bills (which was $250 a person for rent, internet, and electricity COMBINED, I mean come on), practiced their cosplay contest dance routines in the living room at 3 in the morning, argued all the time, and they were completely irresponsible. One of them, let’s call him B, lost his job and didn’t tell anyone about it until the day before rent was due.
He had no job for months, so he was home all day long and never even dusted. The other one (W) was a complete psycho.
One night all of this comes to a head, and we’re arguing in the dining room. They had stolen my cat, trashed the apartment, almost gotten us evicted several times, and my fiance and I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in months because of their stupid dance routine practices.
We had had enough. We gave them an itemized list of 2 years worth of disagreements. The argument gets heated. Fiance calls W a little idiot (which yeah might have been uncalled for but we were both thinking it). W goes nuclear. He tackled my fiance to the ground and starts trying to fistfight. W has no idea how to fistfight. W loses badly. We call the cops, cops do nothing, they moved out the next day.
I haven’t spoken to either of them since. They deserve each other.”
9. He Peed On His Laptop
“After a night of heavy drinking, my roommate had to be dragged back to our room and put to bed. I was already in bed sleeping but got woken up by the commotion. They get him in bed and I’m fairly sure he’s passed out so back to bed I go. A few minutes later I hear him shuffling around as he walks over to his desk.
I think to myself that he’s just gotta grab something so I don’t think much of it till I start hearing ‘water’ being poured on the desk. I sit up a bit and look behind me to see him standing at his desk peeing. I was too tired and didn’t want to deal with it that night so I said screw it and went to sleep.
To make matters worse, the laptop was sitting on top of its case which does an amazing job soaking up the liquid. The next morning he wakes up and goes to use his laptop and starts yelling how someone peed on his laptop last night. This is also when I found out that he’d peed on his laptop. Previously I thought that he’d just peed on the desk and all he’d have to do in the morning is a bit of cleanup.
Other guys from the floor come around and try telling him that he must be mistaken and it couldn’t be pee. They insist it must be booze and it got spilled accidentally.
He picks up the pee-soaked laptop case and smells it closer insisting it’s pee. Another guy took it and gave it a quick sniff and quickly threw it away from himself confirming that it was indeed pee.
It was a big deal on the floor and people came up with various scenarios. ‘Your roommate did it.’ ‘Someone came into your room in the middle of the night and did it.’ ‘You tried to pee on your roommate’s laptop but messed up and got your own instead.’ This was a popular topic for guys to theorize about for quite a while trying to figure out what happened. Eventually, some of the guys settled on the simplest solution.
He was so wasted and had no idea where he was or what was happening so he ended up peeing on his own laptop. He never (publicly) accepted that answer saying that it was impossible. I never came clean to him about it but later I did confirm the story with some of the guys who had lived in the dorms with us. The laptop got sent in to see if it could be repaired. Not surprisingly, it was sent back still broken and saying it couldn’t be fixed.”
8. He'd Eat Cat Food Out Of Curiosity
“We had a house with very poor windows and insulation. The blinds had holes everywhere from throwing forks at them one night. Every time I’d come home from work my roommate would be making these really strange noises and was peering through the holes in the blinds. I’d come in and he’d pretend like he wasn’t doing anything weird.
He’d eat and drink out of the same dish for months at a time between washes, regardless of how nasty they got.
His bed never had sheets on it and he rarely ever took a shower. The nasty jerk would come to lay in my bed like it was his and I’d have to kick him out. He especially liked laying on my bed at night right after I went to sleep…
We had two mousing cats that lived under the house. Way too many times I caught him sitting at the crawl space opening making weird noises at the cats.
He’d even eat the cat food sometimes out of sheer curiosity.
He would do his daily grooming ritual in the living room regardless of whether we had company or not. And he cut his own hair but didn’t even clean up so his hair got everywhere.
Despite all of this atrocious behavior, women absolutely loved him. It was actually annoying to bring company over because they’d swoon over him (and I’m thinking, ‘You have no idea what kind of animal he is.’)
He was an adult but still played with toys and left them all over the house. His favorite thing was Crown Royal but he would just throw the bags on the ground and expect me to pick them up.
I can’t say for sure, but I never once saw him brush his teeth. His breath was rancid.
He would eat this nasty dehydrated salmon food (had to taste horrible, I never tried it) and every time I’d cook up a steak or eat chips he’d come out of nowhere and ask if he could have some.
No, dude. You can’t. If you like my food so much go buy some for yourself.
In all the years we lived together I can’t recall him paying a single bill. But he never used the internet and couldn’t care less if we had running water or not so I never really expected him to pay for anything. Plus I was the only one with a job and he came from a single-parent household where he had a really odd relationship with his dad.
He would sprawl out completely undressed on the couch ALL THE TIME. When we were home he wouldn’t ever have pants on.
The strangest thing, though, was his ridiculous infatuation with sheep and geese. If you even mentioned one of those two things around him he wouldn’t shut up for hours.
Yes, my roommate is a border collie. Best dog ever, terrible roommate.”
7. He'd Been Throwing Food Into My Room
“So I’m sitting in my room, minding my own, just watching some videos and generally trying to chill.
My desk was on the other side of the room, by the window, and was obscured from the view of the door by a wardrobe. All of a sudden there’s this fairly rapped slamming on the other side of the room, like LOUD, especially considering I was wearing headphones at the time. It doesn’t stop for a few seconds and as I turn to check it out, two boxes of frozen something or other come hurtling through the space between the door and the wall, followed just after by a third, just as my housemate’s head peaks past the edge of the wardrobe, mid-throw.
I’m not gonna say that at this point I ‘knew what was up’ because… well? But I had at least a good idea that he’d been throwing food into my room for a good 15 seconds or so, which consequently, is enough time to get an entire freezer drawer’s worth of food, out of a freezer drawer. So as we lock eyes on the last throw, with his goblin-like grin landing on my not-so-happy gaze, his eyes, for a second, just widen.
The door slams shut and then he opens it up and looks back in, straight at me, slams the door shut, and sprints downstairs. So I shout from the top, asking him if that’s how we treat one another, and all I hear, muffled, from his room downstairs is ‘well we shouldn’t leave other people’s things out of the freezer’. To this day, I have no clue what he was referring to since I used a freezer on the opposite side of the kitchen to him.
So that was pretty odd.
But the most bizarre had to be when on most nights, I would wake up to another housemate standing directly over me in the night, heavy breathing and screaming in my face. Or on the fortunate occasion where he didn’t feel the need to massively invade my privacy, just casually battering down my door at 3 in the morning, this got so bad that I had to barricade my door every night.
At the time I was really struggling with awful anxiety and panic attacks, so having to go through that every night was pretty messed up. This was apparently because my snoring would wake him up, yeh I snore, like most people, but the partners I’ve had have never said anything about it, and neither have any of my other housemates. I even recorded myself, fearing that it was a real problem, it was like on and off in intervals and not overly loud, maybe I was going at an off-rhythm or something?
So it’s come to my understanding that this particular one must possess God-like standards of hearing, honestly, we should see if his talents can be put to some use. I reckon if he tried he could sense incoming asteroids.”
6. There Are Coins All Over The Floor And Sink
“Not permanent roommates, but when I was in high school, I was on the wrestling team. Every year, regardless of whether or not someone from our team made or if our team made it, we go as a team to the state tournament.
To watch and whatnot. We would stay in a hotel for a few nights since it was a weekend event. Our rooms/roommates were assigned by the coaches and we were not supposed to switch rooms.
I was a freshman at the time, and I got stuck with these two kids, Triston and Jon, who are really weird, and these two other guys who were okay.
Anyway, one time we went to watch the tournament matches for the day, and when we got back, my roommate Triston was just sitting at the desk in the room, cutting up springs and putting the pieces together to make chain mail. Was there doing that all day apparently.
However, it gets MUCH weirder.
On the last night we were in the hotel, we basically decided as a team that we were all going to go to the hotel pool.
I and my roommates were getting into our trunks and whatnot to go down, and right before we leave, Jon says he needs to do something first. Okay whatever, we just go down without him. Eventually, he gets down there and we all have a good time in the pool.
After we’re all done, we go back to the room to get ready for lights out.
We walk in the door and I go towards the bathroom to change out of my wet suit.
I open the door and there are just coins all over the floor and sink. Pennies, dimes, quarters. Like 150 coins spread out haphazardly on the floor. Then I noticed weird red stains on the seat and the bowl of the toilet. I thought it was maybe b***d, but it looked too brightly colored and it looked flakey-dry.
I called in my roommates and asked who this was from. Everyone denied it. We asked Jon if it was him since he stayed behind, and since it was not like that before we went to the pool. He claimed it wasn’t, but agreed to clean it up anyway.
We never figured out what happened and that kid Jon never said if it was, but we figured it was.
He was not on the team the next year.”
5. He Left A Mark When He Hit The Windshield
“I don’t like being abruptly woken up, but Roommate and I had differing work schedules. I work early and he worked evenings so I was often in bed when he got home. He started waking me up wasted between 2 am-3 am and I would get annoyed. I know he just wanted to hang out and stuff but I had to work.
Anyways after the 5th time, I am done with that scene and decide to sleep with my nunchucks. He jumps on my bed at 3 am pulling the chain on the ceiling fan so the light goes on and I sit straight up, smack him a few times with my nunchucks, and growl. He laughs, turns off the light, and says goodnight before leaving my bedroom closing the door behind him.
Roommate continues to wake me up in the middle of the night. After a few weeks of being rudely awoken in the middle of the night (3ish times a week so not every night) I reach my breaking point. He wakes me up, I yell obscenities, put my shoes on, and walk out the door with my purse and car keys. He jumps on the hood of my car as I am backing up but at this, I don’t give a d**n so I continue to drive.
He is standing on the hood surfing on my car essentially. He falls when I put it in drive and his butt hits the windshield leaving a somewhat butt-shaped shatter. I get out of the car laughing hysterically and ask him if he is okay. He just tells me to come home and he will leave me alone and let me sleep. I park my car and walk back inside the apartment.
He is sore but not hurt and we hang out for a bit before I go back to sleep.
The guy is still one of my best friends and the most loyal friend anybody could ask for. Love him to death but have many more outlandish stories with him usually involving booze.”
4. It Led To My Roommates' Messy Divorce
“I used to live with a married couple. They were both dudes. They were great roommates, they were clean, respectful, they had their drama here and there but I basically stayed out of it.
It was a good living arrangement. I rented a bedroom from them for $400/mo and had my own bathroom and shared the kitchen/living areas.
Anyway, they were super socialites, and always had fabulous parties with lots of people over. In some ways, it felt like living at Gatsby’s. Sometimes I would join the party and socialize, other times I’d just keep to myself and play WoW in my room.
I work graveyard, so sometimes I would just be asleep before my shift while the party noise droned on down the hall.
They were a great couple, and good friends, though they’d been having some marital problems for years. Then one day they met this kid in his early 20’s and started hanging out with him, which led to some 3 ways (that I would sometimes be able to hear through the paper-thin walls), and they opened their relationship to this third person.
That’s when things started to get messy. Fortunately, I had an out.
I had been going out with a guy of my own for a few months, a guy that I had already been friends with for years. A guy I thought would make a good husband, and we are still together to this day. Anyway, we decided to move in together to his tiny yet cute apartment.
Shortly after I moved out, it went chaotic at the house. The newly added third to the couple’s relationship left them, and they started to fight. And that led them to break up, and one of them actually got together with the young middle-man. That led to a messy divorce and a lot of drama in their inner circle, so I quietly removed myself from the situation and breathed a sigh of relief that I had got out before things got too messy.
I’m still friends with both of the once-married couples, but I rarely see them anymore. I think I saw each of them once since moving out. They are great guys, but I didn’t want to get caught up in all that.”
3. He Treated His Partner Like Garbage
“The first house I lived in during college was a trip. Got it after a buddy’s manager moved out. Five bedrooms, three baths, generous kitchen, living room, and back patio.
Only $1000 a month.
The first curiosity was the decided disposal of some of the possessions abandoned by the previous tenant. Among them was a large stuffed unicorn, about as large as a large dog. I went out to the back deck one day for a smoke when I see a roommate had strung it up under the awning. And there it hung, for the better part of a year.
Every once in a while we’d burn it or stick smoke residues in it. Somehow one of the eyes got cut off, and someone took the horn and stapled it to an old pair of white tights we found. Eventually, it was just too disgusting to look at, so we gave it a dignified retirement on a pyre.
The next was our glass pit. By the largest room’s back door there was a gutter which quite a lot of rain fell about twelve feet into the dirt.
It washed out quite a large hole. Well, I come back from class one day and go out back for a smoke when I see a few broken bottles in the pit. And slowly thereon the pit fills with shattered bottles. It was a blue/brown/green mess of jagged glass shards. By the time we went to clean it out, it had about 3/4ths of a 50-gallon trash can full of glass.
Next, we had our quirky yet dumb roommate who always loved projects. We would talk at length about his wonderful inventions where I would suggest a simple item that already accomplishes his breakout genius plans. One day he described to me an iPad for two hours before I broke it to him. Well, he got a job driving a truck for some warehouse, and had access to a bit of scrap from work.
We got a few large cable spool tables, a large unused batting cage net, and some pallet racks. One of the pallet racks got set up out by our deck (which stood about 5 feet off the ground toward the back of the house) where he stretched the net over it to make a large hammock. And wouldn’t you know wasted people love hammocks? The next pallet rack got set up in the smallest bedroom, where they threw two ‘repurposed’ dorm couches on top of it and a bed beneath.
Add in some suspended sheets and you have a pretty neat pillow fort going on.
Oh yeah, and he also met the love of his life on a week-long cruise and moved down to Puerto Rico to be with her. They got a place above a bar he worked at when, over the course of a month, they found out that they hated each other’s guts.
She moved home and he stayed until he had enough saved for a plane ride home. We don’t bring that one up too often.
We had another roommate who was in between jobs often and mostly supported by his partner of six years. But that didn’t stop him from sleeping with anyone willing to give in to his smooth-talking ways. He was raised by a mega-narcissist so he already had some issues.
He treated his significant other like garbage, so when it finally came out that he slept with another roommate’s partner, the truth finally sank in and they split up. He moved back home with his parents and came over one night to slash a bunch of tires. Fortunately, we caught him leaving and got a restraining order. Then a few months later he came back to his ex’s place and slashed their back porch screens up and tried to break in.”
2. Younger Brother Messes Up The Toilet
“My younger brother has never been quite right. He’s not mentally ill or anything (I don’t think) but he has just always been very strange in some of the worst ways. Even into adulthood when we thought he would have grown out of it years before.
He would bring food into his room and leave the plates and cups in there for weeks, usually still with food and drink on/in them.
Of course, it would mold and rot but he didn’t care. God forbid he had milk with whatever he was eating. It would just be the consistency of jello by the time we made him clean it. He would also dump ON the toilet, not in it. I never asked the reason. I assumed he would try to hover and just missed and never checked?
He also would wipe his butt then throw the used toilet paper into the bathroom trash can. He never showered so he was always greasy and just smelled of funk.
Occasionally my dad and I would happen upon some weird structure (more accurately a mess) that he would have built for no apparent reason. The most recent was a ton of string just run through support beams in our attic.
Like he was making a spider web? Not really sure. He hasn’t been here for years and we only recently found that one. He would also steal and hide things. This is all added onto the fact that he is a criminal now, so I’m not really sure if it was just him being really sleazy and just not giving a d**n about anything or if he has serious mental issues.”
1. I Found Out Why She Sleeps In The Living Room
“At my first apartment in college, I roomed with a girl that I had only met a couple of times in high school but we had never really actually hung out or anything. Our bedrooms were on opposite sides of the apartment and for a few weeks, I had just never even seen what her room looked like. We never hung out in there and when she left she always locked her bedroom door.
And EVERY SINGLE night she would sleep on the living room couch instead of in her bed, which was annoying because it was right outside my bedroom door and her phone would go off super loudly all night long and wake ME up but not her, but that’s another story. I would ask her why she slept in the living room every night and she said she thought it was more comfortable.
One day I made a mess with cereal or something on the floor and wanted to use her vacuum but it was in her closet and she wasn’t home. I had texted her asking her if I could go in her room to get it and waited a while but got no answer. I tried the door and it was unlocked, so I decided I would just run in real quick and grab it, use it, and put it back.
I walk into her room to find the most ungodly mess I had ever seen. Her bed was COMPLETELY covered and piled high with books, papers, dirty dishes, and even her groceries. Literally, just loose onions, cucumbers, opened loaves of bread, and cans of soup all over her bed randomly. Every inch of the floor was covered with dirty clothes including multiple pairs of dirty underwear caked with dried b***d clots.
She also had a fish in a small fishbowl in there swimming in the murkiest, most disgusting water. Some kind of smell, I don’t know what, overcame me and I just got out of there.”
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