People Can't Tolerate These Infuriating 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories
20. AITJ For Not Wanting To Stay At My Teacher's House While My Mom Is Away?
“I (15 F) am really fed up. My mom (44 F) is going away for the weekend to Texas to make my dad some food since he doesn’t know how to cook that many meals. Just last month, my mom went to Saudi Arabia to meet my dad who had just left my grandparent’s house.
(Our family is Pakistani and my dad works for Tesla and was on medical leave, he decided to take the last two months of his leave to visit his parents.) Before she left to see my dad, she had told my teacher, who we will call A, that she was going out and to check up on my older brother (18 M) when she was gone.
A also offered to make dinner for us. I was fine with that because I genuinely appreciated it. When we dropped my mom off at the airport, we headed straight to A’s house for dinner. It was nice and I thought it was a one-time thing.
But when she invited us the second night to dinner, here’s where I started getting annoyed. Before my mom left, she made us two different meals so we wouldn’t depend on snacks and outside food. The first meal was spaghetti while the other was chicken korma.
My mom told me that if we didn’t eat one of them, we could put it in the freezer so it could be saved.
I got annoyed at the fact that we were invited for dinner and told my brother that we had food at home.
He got a bit irritated yet obliged when he told his friend that we weren’t coming over. His friend replied back and my brother told me, “A lot sad that we weren’t coming over.” Being the people pleaser I am, I begrudgingly accepted and got ready.
After that, I would head over there for dinner, not eating the meals that my mom worked hard to make. I did freeze the korma, but the spaghetti had gotten bad easily. When my parents came back, I told my mom not to tell A anything if she decided to leave again.
My mom accepted it.
Now onto today. Me and my mom were leaving class when she ended up telling A that she was leaving for Texas. A answered immediately, “Then she can stay with me since your son and my son will be out most of the weekend.” I had gotten fed up and annoyed, angered that my mom broke the promise.
When we were on our way to the car, I asked my mom on why she told A. My mom answered that she and A’s daughter enjoyed my company. I get it, but here’s where I might sound like a jerk. A’s daughter and I are both introverts, making our conversations very awkward.
I didn’t like the awkward moments and told my brother not to take me back. I turned to my mom and said, “I don’t need to stay at anyone’s house just because my brother wants to go out or she’s making food. We already have food at home.”
My mom got mad at me and told me that I should be grateful that someone was looking out for me. How ironic considering that she told me that I should learn how to be alone. I got mad at her as well and now I don’t want to talk to her for the rest of the day.
My mom is making rice with chicken for us since she will leave tomorrow, and I don’t intend on eating someone else’s food. I didn’t want to sound like a brat, but AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk but I don’t even know where to begin with this post. Please don’t grow up to cater to a man who can’t make himself a sandwich.
Make your own meals for 2 days. It’s a life skill everyone needs to know how to do for themselves. And just be gracious when neighbors are just trying to be kind. It’s not that hard.” Antelope_31
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. Don’t get mad at people who only want the best for you!
So, you have been invited to eat at someone else’s house, what a crime, we must shoot that down immediately! That doesn’t sound good. There is always the possibility of declining politely when someone invites you. There is also the other side of the medal, maybe your mother just doesn’t want her 15 yo to be staying alone in the house for several days, so her friend helps her out by saying that you can stay with them.
Your mother is being a good, responsible mother and you should appreciate that.” FragrantEconomist386
Another User Comments:
“Personally it’s an NTJ for me. I completely understand not wanting to go out and getting pushed into it just because others are going out. I like my own company and would prefer to stay alone.
You are 15 so I can’t say it would be safe to leave you alone but that’s why your brother is also there as he is a legal adult. If you’re okay to be home in your own space for a few hours until he’s home, then what’s the issue?
I get that A and her daughter enjoy seeing you but it’s not fair on you to push it on you when you’re not comfortable with it. Your mum is definitely the jerk since you asked her not to do it again and she just ignored that and did it anyway.
If you yelled at her then you would be the jerk here a bit for that but, if you’re being honest here, then you seem to have simply asked why she went against what you asked and told her your discomfort with it. Would it be easier to talk to your mum and maybe see about A coming to check on how you’re doing if you’re home alone but not stay longer than an hour?
That way you can stay in your own comfort zone and will have an adult at least check up for a short while for her ease of mind.” MagnumSTL
19. AITJ For Leaving My Partner's IKEA Project Unfinished Due To Medication Schedule?
“A while ago my partner ordered some IKEA furniture and wanted my help putting it together, so I said sure.
I came by on Friday after work, and we spent some time putting it together, but it turned out to be a lot more complicated than we expected we also ate dinner and watched a movie, so we only got about a third of it done that evening and I ended up staying the night.
Some important context: I am on some medication that I have to take around the same time daily, generally between 9-11 am. If I take it much outside of that window, the next day I will get some bad side effects. They are fairly mild if I’m just an hour or two late (nausea, anxiety), but they get worse if that turns into 3 or 4 hours (intense anxiety, diarrhea, insomnia, cold sweats) and they’ll last for an entire day.*
The next morning we had a really lazy morning, and we didn’t end up getting up until about 10, and we didn’t finish eating breakfast until about 11. I was dumb and didn’t bring my meds with me because I hadn’t anticipated staying the night (I had stuff I wanted to get done on Saturday).
At this point, it’s about as late as I can delay taking my meds before the consequences set in, so I say that I need to go home and that I’d come back later to finish building the furniture.
She is sad because she wants to have the furniture built, and she asks if I can’t just take my meds a bit later.
I say that it’s already at the point where tomorrow is going to be unpleasant for me and that I really don’t want to wait any longer and have it completely ruined. She said “but you promised to help me” and “You can’t just leave it like this”, and eventually I felt guilty enough that I decided to stay and help a little longer.
I got back to work and after about 90 minutes I had the next third done (this was definitely the most difficult IKEA thing I’ve ever built). I made sure to tidy up the remaining pieces as best I could so they were taking up a minimal amount of space, but then I said I had to leave, as I *really* didn’t want to wait to take my meds any longer.
At this point, she was still unhappy that I was leaving before it was finished, but she didn’t put up too much of a fight. She asked when I’d be back to finish it, and I said “Maybe Tuesday after work”, to which she responded “Tuesday!
I wanted this done by tomorrow. My friend is coming over and I want her to see it! Can’t you come tomorrow morning?”. I said that I already had plans for tomorrow so I couldn’t and that her friend wouldn’t mind seeing an unfinished couch in the corner of her office.
I got home 20 minutes later, took my meds, did some chores of my own, and had a horrible night’s sleep. The next day I felt pretty bad for most of the day. I came back later that week and helped her put the rest of it together.
Anyways, was I the jerk for promising to build her IKEA furniture but then going home before it was done and not coming back to finish it before she had company over that would see it?”
Another User Comments:
“I really want you to think about this.
Your partner was more concerned that she couldn’t show off a piece of *IKEA* furniture than she was about your health. She had literally no concern at all for the impact her actions had on your health. She could have purchased assembled furniture, waited, gotten other help, or done it herself – but the choice she felt was number one of those was the one that made you physically sick.
Instead of appreciating your work, she guilted you for being ill. This isn’t a person I’d risk my health for again, or assemble anything for again. NTJ” Major_Barnacle_2212
Another User Comments:
“I understand her disappointment, especially if the daybed was for a friend to sleep on.
But that’s because of her poor planning, she should’ve got it sooner or paid for assembly. Life is full of lessons and disappointments. She rather you deal with consequences than her. Pay attention if her taking advantage of your kindness is a pattern.
Your health is the #1 priority, definitely not worth sacrificing for furniture! You teach others how to treat you. You showed your health wasn’t a priority by staying. If it’s not a priority for you, she won’t make it her priority either.” Comfortable_Draw_176
18. AITJ For Not Picking Up My Partner From A Late Night Concert?
“I live with my partner of about 1 year. She doesn’t have a license or a car, so not driving. I do drive. This means I tend to drive her to places that are far, like the doctor, or other places she needs to go. She takes the bus to work and anywhere nearby.
Anyway, several months back she started talking about a concert she wanted to go to. Now I hate crowded spaces and loud noises so concerts are a nightmare for me. Also, this was a genre of music I did not care for and it was on a work night.
I expressed I was not interested in going especially considering I would likely need to be up at 5:30 in the morning the next day. She said she was more than happy going alone and that was the end of that.
Months go by and it’s now the concert day.
I go to work early and finish up early so I can come home and drive her to her concert. I drop her off around 6:45 (The concert is at 7) and drive home. Around 9 she sends a text asking me if I am picking her up or if she should Uber or take the bus.
I ask what time it ends because I really can’t be up too late, I need to wake up by 5:30 and be at work by 7. She works in the same field, different position, so she also knows already that it is the most stressful day of the week for what I do.
She tells me she isn’t sure, but probably by 11ish. I tell her that’s fine I will pick her up since that is still early enough for me to at least get some sleep. She assures me it’s fine if I can’t but I double down and agree to.
Well a few hours pass and it’s now 12:00 midnight, and I haven’t heard anything. I sent a text asking if it’s wrapping up and I should head in that direction. 12:30 she answers she isn’t sure. I text back “Well I need to get some sleep so would you mind taking the bus or an Uber?”
1:30 I wake up to a text that just says “Wow”. She arrives home around 2:30 and then begins a huge argument. She claims I don’t care about her and that I was horrible to just leave her on the street alone at night. I personally felt it was incredibly selfish to expect me to ignore my mental and physical well-being as well as my job performance the next day over an optional entertainment thing that she was not required to do.
If it was an emergency it would have been different.
She argued that her past partners, her brothers, and all her friends would not think twice and would have picked her up even if it meant getting no sleep at all because that’s what you do when you care about someone.
I responded by saying that if you aren’t capable of getting home late at night, or aren’t comfortable being out late at night, then you shouldn’t make plans to go out late at night. Basically, am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ I think it would have been better to discuss getting an Uber home from the beginning.
This could have been avoided. I also think it’s a jerk move for her to bring up that her exes and her brothers and whatever other male she could think of would pick her up even if it meant getting no sleep. That’s kind of spoiled to think everyone should cater to you no matter the cost to them.” Afraid-Salad8168
Another User Comments:
“NTJ She knew months ago that you would be unable to pick her up, and despite this, she asks again. Though on the day of the concert, you agreed if it finished at 11, and it did not. When she mentions that everyone else would pick her up sacrificing their own well being that statement is self-centered and says a lot.
Huge red flag” ThatTotal2020
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Can I be honest? Lots of red flags going on here with you both. No driver’s license, why? Living together already but only been together for 1 year? To me, it sounds like she wanted you to go, but you didn’t want to, so FINE I’LL JUST GO MYSELF!
I’ve walked my dumb self back to a hotel and/or take a bus in the middle of Milwaukee at like 2 am after a concert before just fine. Pre-planning is the key.” PossibilityWeekly902
17. AITJ For Feeling Insulted After My Friend's Lackluster Hospitality And Thoughtless Gift?
“I (M30) have a longtime friend (M31). We met in HS but then I moved very far away.
Since then, we have been visiting each other whenever possible. We talk a lot on messenger and call each other. I am a computer nerd, and very often end up helping him with computer problems. He basically asks for my help whenever he has a problem or wants to buy something tech-related. This I normally don’t mind since I kinda love helping when I can.
So, what happened is that he moved into a nicer apartment with his partner, and wanted me to come see his new place. Travel fees have become quite expensive lately, and I was waiting for a nice occasion, so we decided on Christmas. It was an expensive trip for me and my wife, we made an effort for this, which he knew.
But then, my friend greeted us with subpar preparations. Meals were of the cheapest kind. I’m not one to expect luxurious things, I’m a humble poor guy. But even for me, that seemed like no effort was made whatsoever. I brought a nice bottle of wine which was just nicer stuff that I like which ended up being the best drink of the evening.
We also brought party hats and confetti. And those were the only festive accessories available. Before dinner, my friend served us zakouski and crisps. Some of the crisps were stale. At some point, realizing no one was eating them, my friend’s partner decided to take them back and replace them with brand-new ones that were apparently in stock.
And then, there is the issue of the gifts. Again, in no way do I feel entitled to anything expensive. This is about friendship. My wife and I selected gifts that were heartfelt. We thought carefully about it, and I feel like my friend liked his gift, which wasn’t expensive either.
But the gift I got was a secondhand blazer that was too large, and my friend knows very well that I wear extra small sizes, since he jokes about it. I know my friend’s partner likes to shop for second-hand apparel and will buy a bunch of stuff online and then flip back what she didn’t like.
Now, about this blazer, I had a very strong feeling that my friend just forgot my gift, and pretended with a straight face that he bought this for me, but instead it was his partner that bought it for him and hadn’t sent it back yet.
I made the best attempt at not showing that I was feeling insulted by our friendship and told him maybe he could keep it for himself since it was obviously the wrong size.
What rubs me the wrong way with this is that my friend knew we were in a tough spot but we made an effort buying the tickets to come see him, and he didn’t make any effort to make it worth our while.
Later, he asked for my help to select a new OLED TV.
I have not told him about this, and think I shouldn’t since he is very sensitive regarding criticism, and has a tendency to deny everything and make up a believable story about situational circumstances that made it impossible for him to act differently.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but try to handle this gently. He may be struggling financially or caught up in some stresses. Of course, he may also not see your friendship with the same sense of value that you do. You should be prepared for that possibility.
If this behavior is so unbearable, be honest that you feel like your efforts were not received properly. You will risk hurting his feelings, but if your friendship is as strong and important to him as you think it should be, he’ll open up to you and apologize.
Or, forget the experience and move forward. Do not let this wound fester in your heart. Deal with it now or let it go!” AukwardOtter
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, there’s nothing wrong with expecting your best friend to put more thought into your visit- especially the bare minimum of fresh food and new (or at least not obviously secondhanded) gifts.
Whatever the reason was, maybe you can talk it out with him and figure out what was the problem that made him be so cheap in the first place and think it was okay to give you that stale food and an obvious secondhanded gift. You managed to make a way with what you had and it’s his turn to do the same for you.
You mentioned that your friend takes criticism badly, well if he wants to maintain the relationships in his life then he is going to have to hear about the problems in it- especially if it affects how you think he values you as a friend.” compositionaquarius
16. AITJ For Not Forgiving My Uncle Who Sent Inappropriate Texts And Images To Me?
“This story started a few years ago when I was 18 (21 now). So late at night, I got a random text from my uncle (40), he was just congratulating me on a school achievement thing and I didn’t think much of it (normal uncle stuff to say) and I said thanks, etc. then randomly out of literally nowhere his tone completely shifted. He started talking about all the “women he was seeing” and going on about all the “stuff” he was doing with them.
I was REALLY confused and uncomfortable because he’s always acted sort of “normal uncle-like” to me, even though I’m not close to him or anything, so I just started responding with one-word responses like “okay” because I felt so awkward. Then he’s like “You want to see the woman I was with last night” or something along those lines and I said no, I don’t (obviously).
I was very caught off guard at this point and obviously had no interest in a random photo of a girl who probably doesn’t even want her picture shared (plus also ironically I’m gay, not that he knows that or that it really matters to the story).
But of course, he sent it anyway and I freaked out and immediately deleted it. I didn’t say anything of substance in response and he didn’t say much after that. I was just extremely weirded out.
The next day, I told my Mom (his sister) exactly what happened, and she said “Just ignore him, he was probably just inebriated”.
So, I do know that he had a heavy drinking problem but I don’t think that should be an excuse to send your nephew any of this randomly, and honestly, I was really just shocked she wasn’t more surprised or concerned at the time.
So in the time since then, his life completely fell apart.
He lost his job and everything and spent around a year in jail for (you guessed it) posting a bunch of photos of a girl online without her permission. But lately, since he’s been out of jail my mom has been going out of her way to have us “reconnect with him” or whatever and has had him around for family things, which I have been purposely avoiding.
I told her that I don’t want anything to do with him or any of that and she’s been arguing with me about it. When I bring up what he did to go to jail she just says “The court system is rigged these days” or something like that.
She’s telling me that I’m ruining everything and that “he never even did anything that bad” and that I’m making my cousin (his son, 7) upset since I don’t want to be there. I do feel bad for my little cousin, but my uncle never even apologized or brought up anything, he just talks about how much he personally is “on a new path”.
So after countless times arguing I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable since this was a few years ago as she reminds me. And I do feel kind of guilty that my little cousin feels bad that I’m not there. But I don’t feel like he deserves my forgiveness just by default and I still don’t want anything to do with him.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You forgive him, you spend time with him, and you have him in your life, those are all decisions ONLY you can make. No one else gets a say, not him, not your siblings, not your cousin, not your mother. You’re not obligated to have people in your life you don’t want to have in your life.” CapoExplains
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It’s entirely up to you whether to forgive your uncle or not. What he did was entirely inappropriate, and his being inebriated is *not* an excuse for his behavior. It seems your mother is bound and determined to enable his behavior, as “the court system is rigged” is code for “I don’t want to accept that he actually did something wrong.” He can be on a new path all he wants, but it is up to him to prove it, you are not obligated to accept it.” bamf1701
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. What he did to you is wildly obnoxious, but might not rate ostracism on its own–except it’s not on its own, it’s part of a pattern of destructive behavior and misogyny that he needs to reckon with and address completely. It doesn’t sound like that’s clearly the case, but rather that your mother is trying to sweep everything under the rug for the sake of harmony.
Wiping the slate clean would be a gesture of grace… *if* uncle gives some reason to believe he won’t chalk obscenities on it again the moment you do, but in any case, you owe him nothing.” Navvyarchos
15. AITJ For Not Specifically Inviting Our Guest To Eat Dinner With Us?
“I (29F), two roommates (28F & 29M), a female roommate we will name Janet and a male roommate we will name Jack had a mutual friend (23m) that we will name Cody come over last night.
This was not Cody’s first time here. He has been over here several times. I’ve told Cody several times before if he is hungry then go make something. If he is thirsty then go make something, plus every single time he is over here and dinner is made he eats dinner.
Last night Janet and I made vegan sloppy joes. Janet cooked the impossible meat and I mixed the sauce because I’m not good at impossible meat. Janet was tired so she laid down afterwards. When the sauce was done and I mixed it with the meat, I went to the living room and told the boys dinner was ready and then went and made my plate.
Jack made his plate and Janet had already said she would eat later. Cody didn’t get up and make his plate, but I thought he was gonna wait until the YouTube video was done on the TV. I know he heard me when I said dinner was ready because he looked up at me when I said it.
About 5 minutes later, he stood up. I assumed he was gonna go to the kitchen so I didn’t say anything nor was I paying attention. He said something to Jack and Jack said something back. Afterward, he walked like he was gonna go to the kitchen and instead left. I asked Jack where Cody went, Jack said “he asked what time it was and said he should have time to finish the video before having to head for the bus”.
After Cody left, he messaged me saying “Don’t ever contact me again. That was mad petty.” I said “What are you talking about? What did I do?” And he said “You three are jerks” and I said “I seriously don’t know what you are talking about.
What did we do?” And he said ” You, Janet, and Jack are just stingy and just sitting there and eating in front of me just to make it obvious like you guys have food and I don’t. I have food in my fridge. I’m always there for you guys when you need me but I know fake when I see fake.
That was fake. Then Jack wanna try to get me to stay and watch a YouTube video until the food was finished. That was mad petty”. I said “That food was for everyone. Including you. All you had to do was get up and make a plate.” And he said “Nah, you guys were just jerks and wanted to show off that you had food like I don’t have any” and I said, “no, I said dinner was ready for everyone, including you!” And he said “Nah, you said dinner is ready.
You didn’t say names or make plates so obviously it wasn’t for me. Don’t ever talk to me again or we gonna have problems. Don’t make me come back there ’cause I’m with the nonsense”. I just left it at that and just blocked him.
Another mutual friend says we were the jerks.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You addressed the room and said dinner was ready, at that point he could have politely asked if there was any for him but he didn’t. You said he’s had dinner when he’s come round before so it’s not like he’s not used to eating when you guys do.
It’s not up to you to make him a plate up and present it to him.” AvalonWood
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but don’t give up on Cody, it sounds like he is having some problems that he is too proud or embarrassed to talk to you guys about it, keep the lines of communication open” [deleted]
14. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit My Partner's Dog Instead Of Viewing Their New House?
“I (M23) got into an argument with my partner (F22) and I have come to the Internet in order to determine if I was indeed the jerk or not. For some context before the actual event, I don’t get to see my partner, I’ll call her April, much since she moved back home after school.
I get to see her for a weekend every 3 weeks due to shift patterns with work and travel costs and whatnot. The last couple of times I’ve been up at hers, her parents have gone out and April and I have been tasked with looking after the family dog.
I don’t have any issue with this as at least me and April get to spend some time together. However, it does limit what we’re able to do as we can’t go out and leave the dog as it destroys things when left on its own.
The plan for our next weekend together would be that on one of the days, we’d all go out and view the house her parents had just bought as April hadn’t seen it yet and she was excited to see it/show me.
So the other day I was packing the last bits of my stuff to start the journey up to see her, and she texted me saying ‘Hi, really sorry about this but my parents have said you can’t come with us to view the house as they need you to stay home and look after the dog, it’ll only be a couple of hours’.
I explained that I wasn’t very happy about being left in their home to look after their dog as in my opinion, caring for their pet shouldn’t be left for me to deal with, and politely declined. April then proceeded to say that her parents weren’t budging on their stance and that I had to stay and look after the dog and couldn’t come with them to view the house as they needed someone to stay home to make sure the dog didn’t destroy anything and that her parents thought it would be rude if they turned up to view the house with someone who wasn’t going to be living there full time.
Once again I politely declined to be a free dog sitter and even offered the solution of taking the dog with us and leaving her in the car as I don’t want to be on my own on our weekends together as I don’t get to see April often.
April then came back with ‘My parents have said if you come here this weekend, you can’t come with us to view the house you have to stay home and watch the dog and that’s final’. So in response to this, I then told April that I wouldn’t be coming to see her this weekend as I didn’t like the situation I was being forced into.
This then turned into her crying and texting me saying I’d ruined our weekend together and her parents were only asking a favor and that I didn’t have the decency to help them out. Her parents have also texted me saying I’ve put them in a tough position as they now don’t have anyone to look after the dog.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been a jerk and not helped them out when they needed me?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Her parents didn’t ask a favor, they tried to tell you how you were spending your day. Might be different if any of it came in the form of a respectful request, but it didn’t.
You still have options if you want to see her that weekend, such as just tell them you’re going out to have lunch and maybe catch a movie while they see the house, maybe go to a local park and read a book, anything really, anything that’s *your* *choice* to do.
Then you can wrap up what you’re doing and meet them back at their house.” No-Personality5421
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you’re the partner of their daughter, not a free unpaid dog-sitting service. More to the point, why can’t the dog go with them, wait in the car, or outside the house they are viewing?
Why can’t April watch the dog with you, since she’s back at home, she will have plenty of opportunities in the 3 weeks you’re apart to go view the house, how destructive is this dog, and why hasn’t it been house-trained? You’re ntj for standing up for yourself, but I think making it 6 weeks before you can see your partner is cutting your own nose off to spite your face” Hakanese
Another User Comments:
“NTJ for not wanting to watch the dogs. Just be prepared now though for your relationship with her parents to be different and potentially her as well. Generally, we do favors for the ones we care about even when we don’t want to.
You chose not here, which also stopped you from spending the weekend with your partner altogether. This decision will have some fallout, hopefully, nothing you can’t work through.” Laxlady911
13. AITJ For Defending My Son When My Wife Overreacts To His Complaints On Vacation?
“I (42M) got into it with my wife (41F) about our 8yo son while on vacation. We’re on our third day, we’ve done one beach day so far.
We were getting ready for our second beach day today. The moody 8yo came out and said he didn’t want to go today. Sometimes he can wear on both my wife and me with complaining and demanding, but he’s a really smart/sweet kid and will act right after we’ve had enough and have a chat.
He didn’t want to go to the beach because he got sand rash the first day and instead wanted to just chill in the condo. I was ok with hanging with him because I got demolished by a wave our first day and scraped/overextended my leg (still sore).
I made the suggestion my wife and daughter (5F) go down without us.
This made my wife pretty angry. She immediately got her back up and started saying this was the last beach trip we will go on and she’s had enough of all the complaining etc. I remained calm and said I didn’t understand the issue as I already went down early to setup camp and all she was going to do is hang with the 5yo.
Normally when we all go, her and I each watch a kid anyway, so it literally wouldn’t be any different than a normal trip, just less me and my son.
Well when she gets angry there’s really no talking to her at that point. No amount of logic or reasoning will get the family dynamic back to normal. Only time.
From that point forward from her it will be a scowl on her face, short curt answers to questions, low defeated voice, and irritability. If you do something that annoys her she will yell. AKA, eggshells. This sets my son’s anxiety on edge, I can see it in him clearly.
When he’s not overly fixated on getting his own way, he has the propensity to be very empathetic and in tune with other people’s feelings.
Prior to all this I had offered to take the rest of the stuff down for my wife (she could easily carry it all but I’m trying to ease her stress and smooth things).
I said we’ll just make our son come with us and he can hang at the entrance of the beach instead of getting all sandy. She said loudly with anger while looking at him, “no, I don’t want to be anywhere near him right now”.
This finally set me off as I hate it when she tries to hurt the kid’s feelings for what in my opinion are minor offenses.
So I shouted, “You’re being very immature right now cut it out”. I said let me just take the stuff down for you and she refused saying she could do it all, which is something she does in every fight.
No matter what it is when she’s mad she wouldn’t even let you make a plate of food for her, it’s just the shouted, “I’ll do it myself”. I said something to the effect of yes she was the big girl who never needs any help when she’s angry as she stormed out of the condo.
I get angry like everyone else but I often find myself getting far more angry at my wife’s overreactions to very minor things than I ever get at my kid’s bratty behavior, which I consider pretty age-appropriate (most of the time).”
Another User Comments:
“Think seriously about your poor children’s future and how they’ll turn out with your wife’s influence.
Something has to change. If your wife is a better person when she has less stress, consider finding a way to remove LOTS of stress from her. Examples include working half time instead of full time, quitting work, hiring a cleaner, childcare service, sending the kids to school instead of homeschool, she stops cooking dinner, hiring a nanny,…” Literally_Taken
Another User Comments:
“NTJ and I wouldn’t even call your son bratty. He suffered some kind of skin condition on the last beach day (sand rash can be a simple abrasion or an infestation of sand fleas, so yikes), was probably still recovering, and didn’t want a repeat.
Perfectly reasonable. The behavior your describe from your wife towards you and each of your children is downright emotionally abusive. Even if she had done all the work to plan the vacation (which she didn’t), it would not excuse her behavior. My abusive parent planned trips, but it was all about her ego and image as a power parent, and she would lash out and punish us when we didn’t perform Happy Families like trained monkeys, just like your wife.” magicbeen
12. AITJ For Being Upset That My Husband Lied To His Mother About Our Plans?
“Over the course of 2 years together there have been many attempts by his mother to break us up. It started with the day we were engaged!
We bought a house and right after signing, he proposed and all on my favorite holiday! Up until this point she was, what I really thought would be a really great mother-in-law and nothing like the stories I had heard.
Until I showed her the ring.
Not a word until she turned to her son and said “I thought you were never going to get married?”. From there it’s been downhill. When her 1st 2nd & 3rd attempts to get him upset with me didn’t work she went so far as to try and convince him that I was abusing his daughter!!
This did strike a big fight with us!
According to my husband and all of his siblings, this is not the time she’s done this, and until this point had all turned the other cheek and brushed it off to “That’s just our mother, ignore it!”.
This was too far for me. Not only being a mother myself, but also being heavily involved in the community with youth this attack on my character was not something I would ever brush aside and we got into a huge fight. I let him know that this would not be ok and to put himself in my shoes!
This seemed to wake him up. He stood his ground and told her she wasn’t welcome until I got a face-to-face apology and was ok with it.
There have been 2 more times since this that she has tried by text message, knowing that my husband and I share phones, to get him and me into arguments to break us up including telling me that “she will always be my husband’s and his daughter’s mother and I can learn my place as a stepmother”.
Needless to say, this was the last contact I had with her. Our wedding is in 2 months and could be the next time I see her. Yes you did read that correctly, we eloped without telling some of my family and all of his. My anxiety was through the roof and I was having panic attacks thinking about it.
So that if/when she pulls a scene at our wedding she didn’t get to ruin the actual moment for us.
Which leads us to today. I woke up from his mother blowing up his phone very early, with her asking him to pick her up and take her to lunch.
Instead of telling her he and I have plans, he wrote her and said “Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you wanted to go to lunch, (insert my name) and I have plans to do stuff for the wedding”. We didn’t have any such plans, just plans to have lunch together!
So I asked the first question that came to mind. But we don’t have plans to do for the wedding and why isn’t it enough you want to spend time with me? He has yelled at me or given me the silent treatment all day because of “my loaded question” and when I try to explain to him how he’s protecting her feelings while disregarding all over mine it just gets worse.
So, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“I don’t understand why you are mad. He did tell his mom that YOU and he had plans. He was preventing any whining and argument by adding “for the wedding”. The reason you have plans is unimportant. He believed that by saying it was for the wedding, he could save himself from an argument with his mom.
He did deny her lunch and informed her it was because he had plans with you. This is petty, and you are angry at the wrong person. It must be incredibly frustrating to be constantly on edge and ready to fight with the mother of the man you love.
I imagine it wears you down, especially if your partner has tried at all to minimize how bad things are. This is not the hill to die on in this fight. He did prioritize you over his mom. Soft YTJ” Old-Mention9632
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.
You have every right to feel thrown under the bus, that sucks. But try to see it from his perspective. It’s his mom. There are a lot of complicated emotions and baggage tied up in their lifelong relationship. It sounds like adding in a white lie was the thing that allowed him to say “no” to Mom.
Maybe the best thing would be to work together to brainstorm alternative white lies he could use that doesn’t throw you under the bus” bigcilantrofan
Another User Comments:
“NTJ my ex-partner did this once. Told his girl best friend he was going to sleep over at his aunt’s house.
When I told him why, he said that. His answer was he got his mother-in-law, confused with his aunt. And when I asked again because that was obviously a lie. He said he just didn’t want to start a fight and I should let it go.
It sucks because your husband knows his mom is problematic to you but refuses to do anything about it.” CorrectAd4644
11. AITJ For Being Upset With My Friend Prioritizing A New Guy Over Our Friendship?
“I (21F) am in a three-girl friend group, it’s me, my cousin, Sam, and my high school friend, Anne. I’m the one who introduced them and we’ve been very close since. We’ve been seeing each other almost every day since we live close to each other.
Last month Sam met this guy and they’ve been going out for a couple of days. One day I was at Sam’s she was texting this guy she mentioned that I was with her so he told us to go out with him and his friend, we went out, and I met him, it was a pretty standard meet-up.
The next day the three of us met to discuss our impressions of this guy, where Sam said that she kinda lost the spark for him, didn’t see a future with him and he gave her the ick so she went on her phone and ended everything then and there.
After that, me and Anne met up a few times while Sam turned us down(exams). About two days pass, and Anne goes to a mall, We get movie tickets, we walk out of the mall and we see Sam standing there with the guy she ended everything with the other day, we say hi and go home not saying anything else.
She then told us she wanted to give him another chance, so we accepted it and went with our lives. At the end of last month, I started working at the same place Anne worked. Me and Anne don’t see each other at work because I check in to work as she checks out.
However, we have the same day off. We worked three days and couldn’t see one another on those days, but it has been even longer since we didn’t see Sam so when we had a day off I called both of them up for a girl’s evening.
Anne came shortly after as she was at home, Sam told me she would come but she had planned to go on a walk in the evening with the guy. She comes at 6 and immediately calls him, and I just hear her say “in half an hour”.
We chat and she says that she doesn’t really see the future with him but she will just go with the flow.
In a couple of minutes, she says “I have to go guys” with the saddest tone ever. I was annoyed that she played it like she didn’t want to go and she had no other choice when she was that one who called him and set the time, I didn’t say anything I just looked at her annoyed. The same evening after she came home she called me and told me how she just come home from their walk at 12am, I said that I wasn’t happy with her having 30 minutes for us but a whole evening for some guy she doesn’t even like and she flipped out, she came to my house the next day and gave back our matching house bracelet (the three of us were planning to move in together next year) and said that she didn’t understand where I was coming from and said that me and Anne just didn’t support her happiness.
She said that she couldn’t see him other times because he had a job and I lost it, the whole point of last evening was that we couldn’t see each other for a long time because of work. She started comparing me to a guy she met last week and told me that she had made plans with him earlier than me.
AITJ”
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. I would say your friend should grow a spine and be truthful with both of you. Seems like she at least was playing both sides. I can sense your frustration and confusion regarding the entire ordeal, but you also come off as demanding, controlling, and needy.
I get you all are close, but you need to allow her to explore this new relationship how she sees fit. You are more concerned with your selfish need to spend time with her when you should be more concerned with the fact she doesn’t seem to feel comfortable telling you what she’s actually up to (not that she HAS to).
All in all her behavior seems to me like she’s not trying to be around you two anymore, so that should say a lot to you. That being said, you all are really young and immature. Hope you learn from this experience.” nomfry
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. She told you she had plans with him but still came by to see you and your friend for a bit. She bent FOR YOU. She made time for you, even though she already had plans. She gets to decide when and if she really wants to move on from this guy, and I guarantee she did the “saddest tone ever” to be apologetic for leaving, not because she didn’t want to go.
This sounds like a high school drama – I literally had to double-check the ages.” Specific-Succotash-8
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If she already had plans she should’ve said so rather than agreeing to come over and leave in half an hour. The trouble is that it’s normal for people to date.
It’s weird she lied about being done with him and made plans with you instead of saying she had plans” Emotional_Bonus_934
10. AITJ For Not Wanting To Bake A Birthday Cake After My Partner's Tantrum?
“My partner’s birthday is today, and I thought while he is at work, I can bake a birthday cake, clean the house, and run some errands for his surprise. I was getting ready to pick up his gift and get 1/2 things for the cake when I needed a bathroom break.
While I was sitting there, my partner called me 3 times in a short duration which I didn’t hear, and even if I did, my phone was not with me so no way I could’ve picked it up.
I called him right back though and he was rude from the first second, throwing a tantrum because apparently a delivery guy was waiting in front of the house and I didn’t collect my partner’s package.
I knew he ordered something online, but I had no idea it was gonna arrive today. And even if I did, God forbid I use the bathroom I guess. So I listened to him venting about not being able to get me on the phone at 11 am, woe is him, he is angry.
Some things happened at his work too, so I felt like he unleashed that on me too, which I find unfair but whatever. I was super close to telling him off to be honest. I didn’t though, because it’s still his birthday, and I don’t want to ruin it completely.
I think he is perfectly capable of ruining it himself.
So a few minutes later he called me again, all happy and everything, stating that he calmed down and he was sorry. We talked about if we could collect his order today, to which I won’t even contribute with a pinky finger, he can run for his delivery guy if he wants, I don’t care.
Another option is next-day delivery, which means I will have to pick it up, so no eating and drinking for me until then, His Royal Highness wouldn’t be able to forgive another bathroom break.
This part of the conflict kinda ends there, but I still don’t know what to do about the cake, because to be frank, I don’t want to do anything for him after that.
I just feel like birthday cakes are meant to be made with love, which I can’t do when I’m angry. Why should I slave away in the kitchen when he talks to me like a peasant? I’m his partner, not his dog. On the other hand, I do love him and want this day to be nice and special, and I kinda feel guilty for thinking about not baking for him.
And it might be childish to rob him of a proper celebration because of a minor conflict.
I really don’t even want to see him right now though, I’m just tired of his pattern of being disrespectful and then trying extra hard to be cute and loveable.
Both of us have problems, he angers me easily, I shut down and move myself away emotionally in an instant, and to be fair it’s really not easy to be with me sometimes. But he expects me to get over everything he says in an instant, and I’m just not that kind of person.
I know I’m being pitied now, and I’ll accept whatever judgment I’ll get, I just don’t know if my feelings are justified or not.”
Another User Comments:
“You have a bigger problem than him just being unreasonable when you were in the bathroom. If this is a pattern you need to go to couples counseling.
If you both don’t change your communication styles, you’re doomed. If he asks where his birthday cake is, tell him you were going to get a few things at the store, then bake the cake, but he can’t expect to treat you badly then have a fuss over his birthday NTJ.” Emotional_Bonus_934
9. AITJ For Telling Off A Friend For Being Toxic At Another Friend's Baby Shower?
“I (31 F) have a friend (33 F), let’s call her Icky. I always found her immature, & was more on the sidelines, as a part of larger friends group. She’s close to Lovey (30F) who I consider one of my best friends. We all were in same university.
Now Lovey is always privy with my life & I’m aware Icky also has a general idea through Lovey. Lovey is married, she and I are in different cities. Icky lives in my city. At Lovey’s baby shower recently I met Icky. Icky was HOVERING over Lovey, but also criticizing the arrangements, complaining about it being too hot (it wasn’t).
I noticed Lovey was getting annoyed. Lovey’s sister in law approached me to get Icky away, as SIL thought we are all university friends and she didn’t want to be rude towards Icky. I took Icky with me, which helped restore general calmness.
The baby shower in our culture has several rituals and one involves two women helping the expecting mother.
Lovey wanted me to be a part of this ceremony, and the other woman would be SIL (Lovey doesn’t have sisters). We discussed this previously, I was appropriately prepared. Icky started showing me pictures she took with Lovey before I arrived and kept saying things like ‘too bad you weren’t there on time’.
What Icky didn’t know was that I arrived 2 days earlier and was staying at Lovey’s home, helping with all the preparations and left for some time to fetch one of her relatives.
Anyways, I noticed an Instagram pop up and recognized username, it was Icky’s university EX.
I was just waiting it out till the above ceremony was announced, where I was called to the front. This seemed to annoy Icky a lot. During lunch, Icky kept trying to tell off Lovey in some way. This greatly annoyed both me and SIL and I told her to leave Lovey alone.
SIL was not so sweet and ended up telling Icky to leave after lunch. Lovey was visibly relieved after Icky stormed off. Icky then started blowing up Lovey’s phone, Lovey asked her to come over. Icky started crying almost immediately as she thought she was special enough, & wanted my place which Lovey shut down saying its her decision and Icky should just accept it.
I was just watching Icky and when she won’t quit complaining, I told her off for stressing out Lovey, and to get a hold of herself. Out of nowhere Icky said, ‘oh you are one to talk, can’t even keep a man’ (pointing towards my recent bad breakup).
I started laughing and said ‘So should I be sliding into my EX’s DMs and keep hanging onto the past?’ Icky called me few more choice words, asked me to mind my own business. I laughed it all off and she left. Not hating on being friends with your EX but the message said ‘I need you’, I certainly don’t know all other precious details and couldn’t care less.
Icky is now creating more drama in the friends group chat and her post is also somewhere on this thread, where I’m the jerk.
So, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Also absolutely love your comeback, it was perfect for the situation. She had no right throwing that in and you bounced it back in her face without overdoing it.” CartographerHot2285
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – sometimes baby showers and hen dos etc need a “bouncer” friend. I don’t know why but the Icky’s of the world love to make it about them and need to be shown the door. She chose the drama, she chose to make it personal with her comment to you, she chose to make it public.” Dry_Calligrapher_313
Another User Comments:
“Honestly you all sound exhausting. I don’t think you’re a jerk in this situation. So NTJ. But it may be time for you to take a break from being around Icky. If this is normal behaviour for her to create drama just ignore it.
Your friend group is aware of how she behaves.” RocketteP
8. AITJ For Wanting To Hire A Nanny Against My Wife's Wishes?
“My (33M) better half (30F) and I had a disagreement over the need for a nanny. She is adamantly against it. I am begging for it. We have 3 completely amazing children. A 15yo, 2yo, and a 6 month old. My better half is a stay-at-home mom and I work full time in addition to recently establishing a business.
I love being a dad and I love my children. I try to actively be involved in time spent together, cherished memories, and the daily dues that come with being a parent. I love teaching them, hanging out with them, and literally just watching them.
I love my work. I have been in my industry for over 10 years and I have climbed the corporate ladder further than I ever would have imagined. It’s something I truly enjoy but that does not eliminate the stress that comes with it.
I love my wife.
How lucky am I that I found the most amazing and wonderful woman on the planet? Group all of life, love, the pursuit of happiness, and the pursuit of the dollar into the equivalency of keeping just one nostril above water. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.
I really need some time to myself to decompress though. Even with all the love, I need time to just exist and do nothing at all.
It doesn’t sit right with me to take alone time when I know that my wife needs it just as badly – if not more.
She is at home with the kids all day, the little ones still completely depend on her and I, and she never gets time to herself. I proposed getting a nanny for about 3 days a week and she was all against it. She said it would take away a sense of pride and it’s completely unnecessary.
She felt if I needed alone time to just tell her and she’s more than happy to accommodate that. She also said she doesn’t need alone time and knows I’d be there for her when she does.
I stated even though she feels it’s unnecessary, I would never truly get the undisturbed time I seek.
There’s no way I can do anything on my own if I know she’s alone with the kids and I’m just messing around. That burden on my mind would promote the opposite of what I seek. I have obligations at the house and with the kids and rather than just pile them on her, I would rather have hired help to fill in.
I mentioned we can use different terminology or even just hire a maid.
She’s still completely against it and unwilling to entertain it. We always seem to find a resolution to our differences but it’s the fact of the catch-22 here; Me hiring a nanny forces her against her will.
Her forbidding the help forces me out of what I feel is a need. I think I just want to initiate the process and start interviews to see who is available or what services are out there. Whether it’s a nanny or maid. She’s against further consideration but I think that’s a bit unreasonable…
Pretty sure she’s going to be super annoyed. Would I be the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“YTJ if you hire a nanny when your wife doesn’t want one. Do you actually think your wife is going to allow the nanny to do anything while thereafter she has told you no?
One compromise is to hire a babysitter one evening per week. Not a nanny. I am not even sure why you think you need a nanny. A nanny covers childcare while the parents aren’t home. Your wife plans to be home.” sheramom4
Another User Comments:
“YTJ to entertain the idea of hiring someone to take over part of HER job against her will. How would you feel if she sabotaged your business and chased away some of your clients because she thinks you’re too busy and need a break? That is what you are threatening to do to her.
The household is her career and she is happy and fulfilled in it. She might find it far more stressful to have another unrelated adult in the house than any saving of work that she’d get from the arrangement. How about instead of assuming that you know her emotional needs better than she does, you listen to her and respect her judgment when she says she’s fine and doesn’t need more time alone?
She is willing for you to take the alone time you need. If you can’t stop worrying about her during that time, even when she’s told you that she is fine, that’s a your problem, not her problem. If you aren’t able to let it go and continue to be riddled by guilt, you might want to talk to a counselor to understand why.” berninbush
Another User Comments:
“Maybe your wife is afraid to leave the children with someone else? Try a different approach: find a trusted person who can babysit on demand. Make some plans with your wife but without kids. Dinner, movie, half-day trip, something easy to accept.
Sometimes mother may feel guilty doing something just for herself, without a “real” reason – give her an excuse! Your wife should understand that the children will be safe and happy with a nanny, and she won’t be a bad mother leaving them for a few hours.” Garamon7
7. AITJ For Logging Full Hours For A Day I Couldn't Work Due To A Fire?
“I’m currently completing a mandatory unpaid internship that my university specified as follows: a minimum of 100h in no more than 3 weeks which equates to roughly 6.6h per day.
I started the internship with another girl I’ll call Laura. We do study the same thing but at different universities and prior to meeting 3 weeks ago at our first day, I didn’t know her. During this internship we also have relatively minimal contact, because we rotate work stations very frequently and only one intern is at one workstation at a time.
She’s a smoker and therefore spends most her breaks in the smoker break room or outside so we have very minimal contact.
Today I arrived to work at 7am to find everybody standing outside. Apparently there had been a small fire and we were awaiting further instructions.
After around 2 hours we were permitted back inside, but had so stay in the break rooms and didn’t have to work. At around 11 the bosses had decided that work would resume at 9pm at the earliest, so everyone on the early shift was told to go home.
So I went to the shift manager who also overlooks my hours. I told him that I’d be putting down my full 7.5h for the day on my timesheet, because it’s not my fault that I wasn’t able to complete my work day. The shift manager was more than okay with this and even told me that if I hadn’t suggested it he would’ve still told me to put in my full hours, because he recognised today’s events were fully out of my control.
So on my way to my car Laura came up behind me and asked to speak with me. Since our time sheets are in the same folder directly behind each other she apparently saw that I had put in 7-14:30 as my work hours for the day.
She told me she thinks it’s extremely disrespectful that I would put in those hours, since they were clearly a lie and I was deliberately deceiving the company.
She also somehow knew that I was planning on only working 2h tomorrow, and accused me of bailing on her on our last day together and how disappointed she was with me.
At this point I would also like to mention that Laura works exactly 6.5h every day and therefore leaves an hour before I do every day. She decided that one of the days she’ll just stay a little longer to reach the 100 hour goal
I told her: I don’t care about this company nor do I owe them anything since this is literally a mandatory internship and on top off that we don’t get paid a single dime to spend our time here.
We literally do not know each other, so I don’t really care that you have to work 4 hours without me on Friday. We don’t even really work together anyways since we’re on totally different workstations all day and you also leave at least an hour before me every single day, so I don’t really see the issue (probably not my exact words, but you get the gist)
She started crying and ran away to her car. I do feel bad for making her cry and my friends and family are split on the timesheet situation.”
Another User Comments:
“If you hadn’t bothered turning up at all, or had disappeared as soon as you saw what was happening, but had still put down your full hours on the timesheet, then you would have been a jerk.
However, you were there and you remained there until the company dismissed you for the day. It wasn’t your fault you weren’t able to work that day and your shift manager was on board with you putting the hours on the timesheet. NTJ” ProperAsparagus6304
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, there’s nothing dishonest about logging the hours you did, especially if your manager made the call. Despite what other commenters have said, it’s extremely common for employers to pay people in situations like this as if they had worked for precisely the reason that it was out of their control.
IE: lots of pool facilities will pay lifeguards the full amount for shifts cancelled or shortened due to weather.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“NTJ for the time sheet. You showed up on time and your supervisor was more than cool with it. And you didn’t try to hide it.
You took it to him and told him what you were going to do, which is the mature and professional way to handle things. Probably could have let Laura down a little easier but she sounds like hard work anyway and was badgering you.” Ok-Profession-9372
6. AITJ For Reporting My Seizure-Prone Relative's Dangerous Driving To The State Agency?
“I have a relative who lives in another state. I rarely see her. She has been having seizures for as long as I can remember. She has also been the cause of many accidents due to a seizure occurring while she is driving.
Sometimes she has been the only person involved and other times she has hit other cars. She has sideswiped semis on the interstate, driven into peoples’ yards, and several other minor accidents. Yet time and time again she has kept the fact that the accident was caused by a seizure a secret or her doctor eventually recommended she could drive again.
I have always worried about it but figured there was little I could do because 1. I live so far away and 2. the doctor would not keep doing this if she was a true danger. I am not a medical expert of any kind. So I do not have an understanding of how it is determined whether someone who has seizures is or is not safe enough to drive a vehicle.
I’m just truly shocked that my relative has been able to maintain her license despite all these accidents over the years.
I received a call that she just had another accident and this time it involved 4 other cars. One of which had an elderly couple in it that she hit head on!
My relative was taken to the hospital and despite being quite bruised and battered she is thankfully ok. As far as we know the other drivers are ok but the elderly couple was also taken to the hospital. I have not heard an update on them.
The whole accident was witnessed by a police officer who was a few cars behind her. Her doctor is thankfully saying that for at least the next 6 months she will not be able to drive.
But my relative is already talking about driving as soon as her doctor clears her.
Other relatives have tried to explain that she should not drive anymore. That she could seriously hurt someone one day. But she maintains that she lives very far from town and has to be able to drive for things she needs. When they bring up the fact that she could hurt someone she just brushes that off and says that she has to be able to drive.
She does not seem concerned about the people she hit in her most recent accident. We’ve tried to explain that just because no one was killed does not mean that the people she hit would not have long term effects from the accident. But again this does not worry her.
I am deeply worried and can’t help but wonder how many times her doctor will keep giving her the go head to drive when she keeps having seizures behind the wheel. I am truly worried that she will one day cause an accident that kills either herself or someone else.
If in 6 months time her doctor does declare her fit to drive again, WIBTJ if I reported my concerns to the appropriate state agency that could investigate this? Or is this something I should just stay out of because a doctor has approved it?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Emergency departments are mandated to report to DMV’s when a person is admitted and confirmed to have had a seizure. In my state, it comes with a minimum 6-month medical suspension (must be seizure free the entire suspension time), and a neurologist has to clear you before you can reapply for your license.
She is a danger to herself and others. She could and will eventually harm someone. How is she even insurable after so many accidents? Report her.” True-Mousse4957
Another User Comments:
“NTJ Your relative has caused numerous accidents and caused harm to others due to her seizures.
She cannot control when they come and how severe they are. She absolutely should not ever be behind the wheel. You are rightfully concerned that she may hurt or kill someone. I applaud your concern for the community around her. For the safety of others please call your state’s DOL and report this.
I think that if you do notify the DOL it would be wise to just keep it to yourself” Independent-Work5275
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but you would be a jerk if you didn’t report her. If she doesn’t end up killing herself then she’ll end up killing someone else.
Sounds like she’s using the proximity as an excuse. There’s no reason why she can’t use public transportation or move closer to a town where she wouldn’t be so reliant on a car.” [deleted]
5. AITJ For Resenting My Step Mother And Refusing To Call Her Mom?
“I (17F) resent my stepmother. It started after my father had been with many women after divorcing my mother, and then finally found my stepmother, who has three kids.
Shortly after they had been together, and I’m talking less than three months, she and all of her children moved into our home. I wouldn’t mind this if our house was bigger, but it’s a three bed, two bath house, with now 5 kids and 2 adults living in it.
Not long after moving into our home, my father and my stepmother announced they were engaged. They asked if we were okay with it, and I so badly wanted to say no, but what difference would it have made? And to make it worse, they had gotten married unannounced in Florida (they didn’t even tell me and my sister, but had told her children) while I was up at my grandmother’s.
After they got married, things got much worse. She tries to get my dad to spend money on things we don’t need and don’t have the money for, such as a new vehicle (he had already bought her an almost brand new suburban before they had even gotten married), or a camper (which also happened, but the first one we purchased wasn’t good enough for her, and we had to trade in for a better one not even a year after.)
She has also changed my dad’s attitude toward me and my younger sister, who is only 14 years old. He is always grumpy around us and never wants to do anything with us anymore. I keep asking him to do stuff with us, such as go bowling as it is something he loves, but he refuses because my stepmother doesn’t want to go.
This also applies to vacations and other outings.
I have a huge list of other things that make me dislike her, like her lack of help around the house (she hasn’t done the dishes, ever, in her 3+ years of living here ), or her lack of having a job and expecting my dad to pay for everything.
But one experience made me really resent her, and this is when she asked me to call her mom. We were all sitting around a campfire (my dad, stepmom, stepbrother, and sister) when my stepmom brought up how I should call her mom and how she doesn’t like being called “stepmom.”
I kept my mouth shut, what was I even supposed to say, I wasn’t going to agree to call her mom, because I had a whole bunch of things to say that weren’t so kind, but knew better than to say. But she didn’t stop there, she went on about how I have to give her grandkids, and about the names she picked out for kids.
This not only made me extremely uncomfortable because I’m 17, but I also do not want children at all in the future to to certain life goals I have. She refuses to accept the fact I don’t want kids, and is still angry I won’t call her mom.
She doesn’t understand that she cannot replace my mom, and nor does my father.
So, AITJ for resenting my stepmother and refusing to call her mom?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You can politely tell her you already have a mother, she is and always be your only mother, and as your father’s wife she is, in fact, your stepmother.
You can ask her if she’d prefer to be called by her first name instead. This would all be true even if she weren’t awful, which it sounds like she is.” drdoggiemom
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, can you go and live with your mother or grandmother instead?
Also, I’m betting that your dad and Stepmom both know that you don’t want them together, but they won’t acknowledge your feelings, because they don’t fit into their vision of a “happy blended family”.” Umm_what_I_think_is
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Even if she was the sweetest woman on Earth she still would not replace your mom.
You should calmly explain to your father alone, one-on-one that love and care are earned and not imposed. How would he feel if you called another person ‘dad’? You are willing to keep things at peace (which btw congrats! You are more mature than most of us) but there are boundaries that should be respected. She should show respect for your mom, sister, and you, so you can pay her the same respect.” lanlawmaz
4. AITJ For Accusing My Friend Of Jealousy After She Criticized My Appearance Post-Cancer?
“I (F18) was diagnosed with cancer at 15 and had a mastectomy. It affected my body but I’m proud of my appearance, and I’m putting a lot of energy into it. Lucy (F19) is different for wearing what she can and no makeup. Lucy also struggles with insecurity over appearance and comparing herself to other people.
I was like this at the height of my treatment but was able to overcome it last year and was thankfully cured in April. Lucy didn’t compare herself to me because I wasn’t in a desirable place but I have changed since being cured.
Lucy invited me on vacation with her family and it was the first time we’d seen each other since April.
She seemed a bit taken aback by my change in appearance but didn’t question it until we went to the beach and I wore a bikini. She said it looked weird on me and offered one of her swim shirts. I was put off and said no. We were both in a bad mood until dinner the next day.
I took up a lot of attention, people asked about my missing body parts and complimented my hair + makeup. Lucy was understandably upset, a lot of conversations about her college plans were redirected at me and my experience.
After that, Lucy barely talked to me and ran quickly into the shower.
Lucy took almost 2 hours, when she came out her hair was dry and she still had some sand on her from the beach. I asked what she’d been doing if she was still dirty. This came off as ruder than I meant, Lucy gave me a dirty look and said she was surprised I noticed someone’s appearance besides my own.
I asked what was she talking about. Lucy muttered that I was too busy looking in the mirror to talk to anyone who wasn’t complimenting me. She’d begun crying and was too upset to continue talking. I was annoyed and walked off before I said anything bad, I took a shower and came back to our room.
Lucy was calm now and I asked her if we could talk. She began apologizing for what she said and explaining that it was due to her feeling depressed. I was happy to hear this and was ready to say sorry but then she said it was my fault, I wasn’t the same person anymore and was too focused on being pretty.
I began to cry, but she said it was okay and she still loved me, tried to give me a hug but I pushed her away. I was really mad and said something I regretted, that she was jealous of how I looked and was upset I wasn’t wallowing in self-pity like her anymore.
The argument ended after this. I called a mutual friend, and he sympathized with me but pointed out how I knew how Lucy was feeling and that she was insecure just like me. He asked me how I would have felt if someone said those things to me and I replied I’d never say what she said in the first place.
I’ve been home for a few hours. Guilt is eating me alive but part of me still feels like I was defending myself. Lucy has sent me multiple angry messages, I wanted other opinions before I reacted.”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk. She shouldn’t have put all the blame on you, and the comments she made definitely sounded condescending.
However, the comment about her wallowing in self-pity and being jealous while she was really insecure was a bit low. She probably felt pretty bad about you after the comment, as it might have felt like a confirmation of her fears, and lashed out because of it.
Overall, insecurity can make a person say or do things they wouldn’t otherwise.” FNAFArtisttheorist
Another User Comments:
“Everyone’s a jerk but hey, you guys are actually really young, and my friends and I were way more catty at your age. I think you both made some mistakes but I hope you can be compassionate with both her and yourself and hopefully reconcile.
There is SO much pressure on girls and women to look good, and yeah, that toxic stuff can sometimes seep through in interactions with friends. Consider it an opportunity for growth. I’ve definitely had fights like this with friends that I still keep in touch with.
Generally speaking, when it comes to stuff like appearances and desirability it’s good to take the high road since most of us are very sensitive to how we’re perceived. Good luck!” Ok-Resolve8193
Another User Comments:
“So you came with her on a vacation as a guest because she was your friend, took all the attention even though she brought up a topic she clearly wanted to talk to you about.
Surviving cancer does not give you an excuse to behave like a jerk. She on the other hand should applaud your effort to overcome the past insecurities about appearances you both shared. Everyone’s a jerk” Unlikely_Parfait_606
3. AITJ For Refusing To Help Find The Cat My Sister Lost Despite My Warnings?
“I (36M) moved back in with my father and sister, and I’ve been here since 2021.
It was closer to my job, and my father gave me a good deal on rent, as long as I helped out with my sister. My sister is autistic, and while 32 years old, has the mental age of a 12-year-old. So helping out with her is usually as simple as taking her to and from the store, or some other place that she wants to go, which I don’t mind; I love my sister to death, and I’m happy to help and spend time with her.
However, my sister has an issue where she will push back on anyone who tries to assert authority over her. Even telling her to do simple things, like putting dishes in the sink or cleaning up the kitchen, is like pulling teeth. And lately, the big issue has been our cat.
This cat has been strictly an indoor cat for seven years. She has never shown the slightest interest in going outside, until recently, when my sister decided that she wanted to let the cat out for small periods. So she’ll let her out onto the porch where she will record the cat.
I’ve been against this from the beginning because she might get lost or hurt.
This culminated in an incident a few weeks ago, when my sister had the cat out on the front porch while a storm was coming in. Thunder startled the cat, who ran down the stairs and hid in a bush as it started pouring.
My sister simply stood there, saying that she couldn’t reach her, which led to me in heavy rain in my driveway, digging into a bush, dragging a seriously annoyed cat out of the rain, and getting scratched and bit pretty well for my trouble.
This led to me telling my sister to keep the cat inside, exactly because of reasons like this.
This worked for a few days, however, my sister kept making passive-aggressive comments so often that my father let her do it so she would stop. After finding out about this, I told them both fine, not my cat, whatever. But that if the cat runs off, I won’t be helping find it, because I’ve warned them both repeatedly.
Well, like the prophet Cassandra, my words went unheeded. Yesterday, the cat wandered off the porch and hid in a bush. When my sister went inside to get my father’s help, the cat ran off, and they couldn’t find her. I came home from work to find my father and my sister scouring the backyard bushes.
My sister was in tears and panicked, and my father asked if I could help them look.
I told them no, that this was exactly what I warned them about, and that I made it clear that I wouldn’t be helping them weeks ago if this happened. This led to an argument where my father said that helping find the cat falls under the agreement I made of ‘helping with my sister’, and I responded that I had already been helping by trying to get her to keep the cat inside, and they hadn’t listened. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“I’m going to say NTJ purely because it’s pretty much impossible to “find” a cat when it’s runoff. I’ve had cats my whole life (all of them outdoor cats) and we never found the ones that went missing. They either didn’t come back or they came back of their own accord (2 gone, 2 came back) but we never stumbled upon one of them hiding behind a bush and brought it back, and believe me, we searched. That said, I do feel sorry for the cat and I think that it wouldn’t hurt you to put up some posters and make a social media appeal. If you do get the cat back this time and they continue to ignore your warnings, then make the stand.
But that’s just what I’d do.” [deleted]
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. Why don’t you help your sister do what she wants in a safer manner? You could help build an outside enclosure for the cat so that it can’t run away, or encourage your sister to leash-train the cat instead of simply giving her orders.
She probably doesn’t have the problem-solving skills that you do and her frustration with being given orders is very understandable.” danimidsommar
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It’s a lose-lose sort of situation. Your sister messed up. That was her choice, autistic or not. Sometimes it’s best to take advice from someone who knows more than you do.
And why are you living with them instead of pursuing your own life? It’s a difficult situation, but your father’s attitude makes it worse.” RealbadtheBandit
2. AITJ For Agreeing With My Friend That My Partner's Son Is Weird?
“My partner (27) and I(22f) have been together for almost 2 years. He has a son who is 5 years old. My partner had a fling with his son’s mother, she has not been involved in his life since he was a year old. He also wasn’t involved in his son’s life for the first 3 years.
Now my partner’s son is a bit odd. He does not talk a lot and is a bit reserved.
I was introduced to his son about 6 months ago before we moved in together 4 months ago. My partner’s son has warmed up to me quite well.
He is a bit clingy now. For example, he wants me to bathe him, he follows me around a bit and just recently he insist on sleeping between my partner and me. He’s now also in a phase where he gets upset when he can’t see me or find me.
Now my friend and I were hanging out Sunday. For context my partner does not like my friend, he has many opinions about her that I don’t agree with. My friend has a big personality and is very opinionated, it can come across as her being mean, but she’s honestly just telling you what you need to hear.
While my friend was over, my partner’s son was watching YouTube in the living room. My friend and I were upstairs, she was helping me clean out my old clothes. We were talking and I didn’t hear my partner’s son calling for me.
When came into my bedroom crying, so I gave him a hug and asked what was wrong
My friend then said that he’s a bit weird, usually, kids this age aren’t really this attached and that he was a strange kid. I agreed and then I said, ‘But he’s the cutest weirdo ever’ and hugged him.
He was totally fine, he wasn’t crying anymore, Nothing, he was fine.
My partner came home, and he went to get ready for bed with his son. My friend and I were sitting downstairs talking, and after she left, my partner started arguing with me about calling his son weird.
He said that his son was upset because my friend and I said that he was weird. He said my friend is a bad person, that she is a narcissist and many other things.
I said it wasn’t a big deal and he was just using this to make my friend look bad.
He got even angrier and said he’d be sleeping in his son’s room. I apologized to his son the following morning and he didn’t seem upset at all. My partner is still angry and sleeping in his son’s room. My partner even told his mom and she texted that she was very disappointed in the way my friend and I treated her grandson and that she hoped I end my friendship with my friend, that she’s a narcissist and is bullying my partner and her grandson.
Many things are not true in my opinion.
I feel like they’re making this situation way bigger than it actually was. It wasn’t even that serious to begin with and I also feel like my partner is using this situation to make my friend look bad because he doesn’t like my friend.
I’m really not sure if I’m wrong here, so AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Why would you be with someone who left his baby/toddler son parentless for at least two years when the child was supposed to be learning and forming social bonds?
No wonder he’s reserved and now wants to stick to you! You should have stuck up for the poor kid. He’s not weird he’s just suffering the consequences of his poor parents. And then he thought he could trust someone (you) and you agreed with someone saying something mean about him, in front of him, and now are trying to shrug it off when he got upset and you got called out.
You’re absolutely in the wrong. YTJ.” BenynRudh
1. AITJ For Cutting Off My Best Friend After Her Toxic Behavior At My Wedding?
“I (34) met this friend, Louisa(35), about ten years ago, and at some point, I considered her my best friend. Overall, she is nice, but as old as we are, she tends to brag about her ability to “give people silent treatments” when they don’t do what she wants.
Eight years ago, I got married, and it was a destination wedding. Louisa suggested organizing a small bridal shower in our town.
Louisa was a bridesmaid, and all the dresses were custom-made. Despite multiple requests, she wouldn’t provide her measurements. With only a month left, another friend reminded us of the missing measurements.
I asked Louisa again, but she ignored my messages, leading her to stop planning the bridal party. To avoid last-minute cancellations, I moved the party to my place.
My sister (D) asked about Louisa a few days before the wedding, and I finally told her.
She encouraged me to communicate with Louisa since she was traveling far for the wedding. I contacted Louisa, but she made excuses, and I let it go. After the wedding, she made some efforts, but passive-aggressive incidents continued. There was a period of minimal contact, but when my husband passed away, I called her and brushed off these odd behaviors.
A few years later, similar passive-aggressive attacks happened publicly again, and I finally told her I expected respect and wouldn’t tolerate attacks and insults. Louisa then acted confused and asked me to elaborate, sharing that I am her close friend and would like to solve whatever is happening.
So, I told her everything that had been bothering me, she apologized, and I forgave her, but I was still cautious with her.
So, at the beginning of 2023, I got married again. This time I was planning on eloping because my family couldn’t attend for various reasons, and on numerous occasions, Louisa was sharing how eloping is selfish and how the people who love you would be hurt.
So, I decided to have a small wedding at home. At some point during the ceremony, Louisa shouted, “Bridezilla,” and went on to laugh. I thought I had misheard her, so I brushed it off.
Louisa called me Bridezilla and other passive-aggressive insults during my wedding day, which I found odd.
A few guests confirmed she called me a bridezilla. When I asked her about it, she acted confused but finally claimed that she had just repeated what other friends at the wedding said. She didn’t apologize and is giving me silent treatment for over half a year, which to me means I am done with the friendship.
I have no desire to be friends with her again.
I am done with her toxic behaviors, but some friends suggest being open to reconciliation. Louisa tends to be proud when she gives people silent treatment, but for me, that is pathetic behavior, especially for someone in their mid-30s.
When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I didn’t want to subject my baby to such people, and I didn’t want my baby to learn that it is okay for friends to treat them disrespectfully.”
Another User Comments:
“Why would you want to reconcile with someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart?
Clearly she has some jealousy issues and the silent treatment is a form of mistreatment. YTJ if you continue to pursue this friendship- tell your other friends to stop with the reconciliation attempts. She needs to be dropped and removed from your life. So NTJ as it stands.” Nessie51
Another User Comments:
“NTJ She needs to learn to grow up, adults talk not be brats when things don’t go their way. Also tell your other friends it’s not your place to reconnect when she was the one that cut you off. If she wanted to be in your life she would.” Sadkawaiitrashcan
