People Share Their Finest Stories Of Small-Time Revenge

When somebody is a slight bit rude or unfriendly to me, my first thought usually is, “They’re having a bad day; I’ll just let it go.” But there are instances where someone’s behavior is way off the charts. They might act out over something minor that doesn’t necessitate their reaction at all or even do something harsh for no apparent reason. Situations like these have me wondering what’s really going on in these people’s lives.

In the more extreme cases, it’s not completely rare that we ruminate all the possible ways that we can “get back” at a person. We might think up a conniving response or even choose a malicious physical attack. No matter what we choose to do in response, our goal is to give the person a taste of their own medicine, sometimes a dose or two more if we believe it’s warranted.

But, really, revenge doesn’t have to be dramatic and utterly agonizing to be considered a success. Below are some great, small but delicious revenge stories that are enough to leave you with evil grin yet totally appropriate for the situation that led up to the revenge.

28. Steal My Food? Get A GoFundMe Set Up For You To Publicly Embarrass You

“I work at a small store five days a week, usually six-hour shifts, but twice a week I do 12-hour doubles.

In North Carolina, where we live, people over the age of 16 are not legally entitled to breaks. Once I’m at work I can’t leave to go get myself anything to eat so I have to preplan my meals for work. I usually stop for a breakfast sandwich and then I got to the store and get some microwave frozen meals and that’s lunch and dinner. I usually get four because they’re small and not filling, two for lunch and two for dinner. Sometimes I take leftovers so I don’t always eat frozen meals.

A couple of weeks ago on my second double, I ended up having to call out because I had a stomach bug and I decided to save the four meals I didn’t eat that day for my next double.

I put them in the freezer. I’m 18 and I still live at home with our parents while working and attending college classes. My older brother is 25 and he moved back home to rethink his education and career. My brother isn’t working right now. Four months ago he received a monetary settlement from an insurance company after he was hit by a negligent driver. He wasn’t injured but his car was totaled and he had a really good legal case. They awarded him $15,000. He lives off that.

So, because I had my meals planned for that first 12-hour shift I decided to let myself sleep in and set my alarm for an additional 30 minutes. The meals were in the freezer when I went to bed but by morning they had been eaten.

My brother took responsibility and refused to pay me back, claiming he didn’t have any money to spare. I didn’t have any extra money because of bills so I went to work hungry with a can of soup and a couple of small bags of chips. That’s all I had for 12 hours. When I got home I learned my brother had spent the day at Best Buy spending nearly $3.000 on a PC gaming system and set up. But he didn’t have the money to make sure I had food. I was p*ssed off.

So I started a GoFundMe in his name. In the description, I wrote about how he was unemployed and couldn’t afford food so he was resorting to stealing food from me (his sister) and not paying her back but then going out and buying $3,000 computer systems.

I shared it on social media. He started getting messages and calls from friends and relatives putting him on blast. He was p*ssed off, threw $10.00 at me, and made me take it down, which I did. The fundraiser didn’t raise any money and if it had I would have refunded it all to those who donated. My brother is still p*ssed at me and isn’t really speaking to me. His friends are still teasing him.

I don’t feel guilty. If you can spend over a thousand dollars on a computer then you can afford not to steal food from your 18-year-old sister who can barely afford to eat and pay her bills. I’m a college student working as many hours as I can but I recently had to buy a new car because my first car (a 15-year-old car) had engine failure.

I’m paying for books, classes, gas, insurance, room, and board at my parents’ home. He’s 25 years old and he had two years in his career field saving money before he moved home, he has money in the bank. Our parents paid for his schooling, they aren’t paying for mine at my request. He deserved it.” rigatonymeloni

27. Trick My Kid Into Eating Dog Food? Now It’s Your Turn

“There are twin boys that live next door to me. I can’t stress how much these kids suck. They are pretty much famous in the neighborhood to the point where people gasp when they find out I live next to them.

Now I make it a point to be a good and friendly neighbor. I seem to be the only people that get along with the parents.

The last thing I want is to live next to someone I hate.

Last week, my 4-year-old son runs up to me saying “Daddy! [Twins] tricked me into eating dog food!” He is my oldest, so I’m somewhat green when it comes to parenting. Maybe this is why my ***** began to boil. I’ve had some instances where he would get pushed on the playground, but they were always by kids close to his age. But a 12-year-old tricking a 4-year-old? That’s sadistic.

I look outside and they are in the yard. I stand on my porch and ask them if they made him eat dog food. They responded with a snarky “No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I told them they have one more chance to tell the truth and the ****** responded: “Your son is lying.”

Couple things pointed to the fact my son wasn’t lying.

First, we don’t have dogs. For him to associate the fact they have dogs, and therefore dog food in the house is not something 4-year-olds really do. Second, the accusation was very specific. Again, something typical 4-year-olds aren’t really equipped to do in a lie.

I call my son out to the porch with me and made the twins face their accuser. I told my son that they are saying they didn’t do it and that he is the one who is lying. He responded with, “I’m not lying daddy!”

At this point, I told one of the twins to go get some of the dog food. When he was gone I asked my son to describe the dog food to the other twin.

Without missing a beat he responds pretty specifically, “brown with black in the middle, square and kind of twisty.” The kid returned with a piece of kibble. My son’s description sorta-kinda resembled the description. It was squarish but more round and had some black flecks in the middle.

I explained to the twins that one of them is lying and that if it’s my son, then he’s going to get grounded for a month (not true… 10-minute timeout tops). The alpha of the two sighs and says that they tricked him but it was a “human treat… A treat for people.” I told him to go get it.

He returns with a bacon treat for dogs and looks exactly as my son had described.

I told him, “If it’s a human treat, then eat it”. He looked long and hard at it, then looked at me. Before he could speak I explained that if he ate it, I’d forgive him, and I wouldn’t tell his parents. Sure enough, amid nervous laughter, the little ****** ate the thing. All he said was, “That was crunchier than I thought it would be.”

I explained to the other twin he’s lucky I didn’t make him eat it too.” troyzein

26. Garbage Housemates Get A Vinegary Taste Of Their Own Medicine

“This week is the 10 year anniversary of my petty revenge story, so I felt it was an appropriate time to share.

During my second year at Uni, I (32f – at the time 22) lived with two other women, one a mature student and the other a recent graduate, both a few years older than me.

The student was a friend from my course, we’d always gotten on very well and as we were both a few years older with a bit more life experience than most students, so we figured living together was an ideal plan. Better than living with a bunch of 19-year-olds anyway. Turns out I was completely wrong about that.

For the first few months, it was great and there were no issues at all, we had a great time living together, the three of us got on well, we got on well with the neighbors – fun times were had by all. I thought I had friends for life!

Things went wrong early in 2010, starting with an event I’m still struggling to get my head around 10 years later.

I’d been out for the evening with my then-bf and returned home at about 4 am. It’s important to note that at no point had I given my housemates the impression I’d be out all night, nor had they asked. So imagine my surprise to get into my bedroom and discover a middle-aged man I’d never seen before asleep in my bed! I had no idea what to do – I hovered on the landing trying to figure out what was going on, and debated sleeping on the sofa and figuring it out in the morning. But no luck there, the housemate was asleep on the sofa. Eventually, a middle-aged woman I’d never seen before comes upstairs, wakes the man and takes him downstairs without a word.

I was, understandably I think, confused as **** but exhausted, so just went to bed and planned on dealing with it in the morning. When I woke up my housemates and the couple had gone, the house was empty. My housemate had texted me, turns out the stranger in my bed was her dad… I replied and asked if next time if they could ask before letting people into my room – a reasonable request I thought.

Well, apparently not. This prompted both housemates to ghost me – they spent the next 3-4 months completely ignoring my existence. Except for the following super-fun experiences:

– When they changed the wireless password (which I’d paid for) and ignored my requests for it

– Took all my food out of the freezer and left it to defrost and go bad over a weekend I was away visiting family

– Cooked some of my newly bought food and left it out to go bad

– Talked loudly and unkindly about me in the next room, knowing I could hear

– Refused to pay their share of the water and electric bill, leaving me painfully out of pocket.

Basically just making me feel very unwelcome and unsafe in my own home, which sucked. So, revenge…

The day I moved out (2 months before I planned to, losing yet more money), I bought a lot of white vinegar. Housemates were big wine drinkers and one was a big foodie, so there was always a lot of good wine and food in the kitchen. So I added white vinegar to everything that was open. Wine, milk, juice, water, sodas, sauces, ice cream, even the butter. As I shut the door behind me, I stuck gum in the keyhole. Believe me, that’s a ***** to fix once it’s hardened.

Then when I got back to my parents, I called the water and electric company and told them I no longer lived at that address.

Since they were both in my name and I’d been solely paying the bill they were both cut off. I’d contacted the housemates and given them the opportunity to pay their share and been told to swivel, so I figured that was fair.

But hey, at least they still had the wireless password!” Charlescence

25. She Ate My Cheese, So I Flushed Her Expensive Perfume Down The Toilet

“The backstory:

My second year of college, I lived in an apartment complex owned by the university. Getting into this place was HIGHLY competitive because the rent was super cheap (compared to the surrounding area) and you paid a one-time transaction at the beginning of the semester that covered the room, utilities, and amenities (so you didn’t have to worry about monthly bills), and since each tenant had their own individual contracts, you weren’t screwed over if one of your roommates couldn’t/wouldn’t pay the fees.

The university allowed students to assign themselves to any available room, so once I got into the application portal, I literally threw myself into the very first room I saw. Five minutes after the application opened, all the rooms had been filled up. I know about seven other people who also tried applying but didn’t get in, so I counted myself very lucky.

That is, until I met my roommate, but we’ll get to her in a sec.

My family is rather stable middle-class, so the agreement my parents and I came to is that they would cover the cost of tuition and housing, but anything “extra” (textbooks, any extra school-related fees, stationery, food, household supplies like toilet paper, transportation, etc.) was my responsibility.

So I got a part-time job on campus that only paid minimum wage. I wasn’t struggling to feed myself, but I was certainly living on a poor college student diet (lots of ramen and chicken nuggets).

Now enter my roommate.

This girl’s family was LOADED. My roommate dressed to the nines every single day (makeup all did, regular Brazilian Blowouts, frequent mani-pedis). She wore designer clothes and she wore heels EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I **** you not, this ***** used a ******* Louis Vuitton tote bag as her everyday school backpack.

Meanwhile, I’m over here wearing baggy jeans and ripped shirts every day because my job is labor-intensive and I’m also responsible for taking out all the trash at my workplace. This is relevant to the rest of the story.

There wasn’t anything necessarily BAD about this girl, but we just didn’t vibe. After it became pretty obvious that we weren’t going to become friends, we basically just ignored each other and lived our own lives.

Now, I know I can be pretty **** about things, but I made it VERY clear to her from the get-go that I wasn’t comfortable sharing things. My **** is my ***.* My half of the room is my half of the room. My sink is my sink. You do your thing, I’ll do my thing, and we’ll get along just fine.

Things went okay for the first few weeks, but then I noticed some things were off. They were really small things, like my calculator being misplaced, or a couple missing pens, nothing too major.

I confronted my roommate about it and told her “Hey, I’m okay if you need to borrow something like a pen, but just let me know before you touch it. I made it clear before that I’m not comfortable with other people fiddling with my stuff, even if it is something as small as a pen.”

She apologized and said she would do better in the future, so I thought things would be okay.

Nope.

Things started to disappear. A scantron I bought for an upcoming test. My box of tissues. Some cans of soup. My cough medicine.

I started running out of food WAY quicker than I was used to. I used to go two weeks with half a gallon of milk, and now it was barely lasting five days.

One time, I treated myself and bought a frozen dinner of pasta and Swedish meatballs and it disappeared two days later.

The food is what really got me, since that’s where most of my paycheck went to, and the few times I splurged on something nicer, it seemed to disappear before I got the chance to enjoy it. I confronted my roommate again and told her if she didn’t stop eating my food, I would tell her parents (since daddy seemed to keep a pretty tight rein on things). That seemed to spook her, so she backed off for a while.

I caught her red-handed about a week later. I was planning on cooking a homemade meal for my boyfriend and his roommates the next night since they invited me to their homemade dinner, so after returning home from the store, I put everything away in the fridge and then left for about an hour to eat dinner at my boyfriend’s place.

When I came back, I found her dumping about half the bag of cheese I bought onto some frozen enchilada or something. She seemed sheepish that she had been caught, but not too apologetic, so I had to threaten her again into buying me a new bag of cheese before the next night.

Now finally comes the petty revenge.

I was so fed up with her at this point that I had to retaliate. There was this perfume that she really loved that she wore every day. She would always leave for school before I did, so every morning after she left, I would take her perfume and dump some of it down the toilet. I didn’t want to be too obvious about it, so it was only a little bit every day, but this perfume bottle was only 3.5 oz and a quick Google search revealed that it cost $80 per bottle.

In one week this bottle went from nearly full to barely half. Another week goes by and there’s barely a quarter left.

One day she finally asks me “OP, have you been using my perfume?”

I looked her dead in the eyes, wearing my gross work jeans and stinking of trash to high heaven, and asked her in the most incredulous voice I could muster: “Do I ******* look like I’ve been using your perfume?”

She didn’t ask again after that. She didn’t stop taking my food either, but after she went through another bottle of perfume in two weeks, her daddy refused to buy her anymore, so I like to think that I came out on top.” missycoy

Another User Comments:

“As much as this story makes me want to grind my teeth into dust, you need to save up and get a mini-fridge.

Or a camera. Whatever is cheaper for you. Because you need to start either hiding your **** or collecting evidence to send to her rich a** parents so they can compensate for what her a** stole. It is ridiculous that a ***** this rich is stealing from you then has the ******* AUDACITY to accuse YOU of taking HER ***.”* Silver6Rules

24. Loophole Allows Students To Pass Class With Difficult Instructor

Final exams are kind of overrated anyway.

“This is from the early 2000s, not long after the tech bubble burst. A relative of mine (we’ll call him Dave) had been a database admin for years but was laid off because his company was outsourcing all of that to offshore companies/workers. He was unable to find another job in the field for the same reasons, so after a couple of years with no luck, he decided to make a career change and become an RN.

Dave already had a bachelor’s degree so he just needed the nursing degree. From what he told me, most RN programs are four years long but he managed to land a spot in a two-year RN program. It was hard to get into and of course very intense, seeing that they were cramming four years of study into two years, but it was known to be a great program that turned out great nurses. Plus by this time in his life, Dave was 40ish already so he didn’t want to have to go to school for an extra two years if he didn’t have to. Since he’d been out of school for a while though and his previous degree wasn’t in any way medical-related, he did have to take a couple of prerequisite classes for entry into the nursing program.

It was two or three classes if I remember correctly.

One professor’s class was monstrous though. She was legendary for her excessively difficult coursework, her obsession with essentially forcing the students to memorize the most obscure minutia possible and remember it for tests (none of which were ever multiple choice, of course). Many people failed her class over the years and it was a point of pride for her. She had absolutely zero care or sympathy. Not sure if she was tenured, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

Dave was doing decently well in the class…he had a pretty solid B, which for this class was stellar and among the highest grades in the class. At this point, the end of the semester was coming up so they were all studying for the final exam and all of them were stressing HUGELY.

They were all passing but most of them were squeaking by the skin of their teeth, and the final exam comprised a MASSIVE portion of their final grades. The likelihood was that most of them would likely end up failing.

At one point Dave looked at the class syllabus to see what percentage the final exam would be of the course’s grade. He was trying to figure out what he would need to make on the test in order to pass the class with a 70. But then he saw in the syllabus that the course was graded on a curve.

So he got all the students of the class together and explained that if they ALL refused to take the final exam, they’d all end up with whatever their grade was before taking the final exam (based on the curving method the professor used).

It didn’t even take much convincing. The options were to take the exam and more than likely bomb it and fail the course (and not get into the nursing program) or not take the exam and bomb it and fail the course (and not get into the nursing program) or not take the exam and pass the course anyway because of the curve.

Morning of the final exam the entire class walked in and Dave politely informed the professor that none of them would be taking the final exam, and pointing out the bit in the syllabus about the grades being curved.

Professor was rather shocked and was definitely not pleased…but she couldn’t do anything about it.

They all passed AND they didn’t have to take the horrific final exam!

Epilogue: Dave got into the nursing program, became an RN, worked a few different regular RN jobs for a while (including a stint as an ER nurse which must have been wildly stressful) but then was able to land a job as a traveling RN for the VA, visiting elderly veterans who were bad-off enough to need checking up on, but not so bad off that they needed to be in a nursing home.

He’s still doing it and loving it.” vaegren

23. Keep Stealing My Legos? I’ll Catch You With A *********

“Backstory: From the time I was 5 or so, I loved Legos. I had bins and bins full of them. I always got a few boxes every Christmas, and I spent a few good weeks putting them together and setting them on my Lego model shelf. My one problem was that I always wanted to play with them, so they slowly fell apart and ended up in bins. My mom tried a few times to get me to sort and rebuild them, but I gave up pretty quickly. So they just ended up in bins.

My brother started liking Legos around the same age I did, but he didn’t like putting his sets together as much as opening the box, putting the mini-figures together, and making them fight (to be fair, I liked making them fight too, just after I built the set).

He started stealing my Legos then, but I quickly got them back anyway, so I didn’t care much then.

However, we then moved, all the Legos got put in one huge bin, and when we got into the new house, my mom said we had to share the Legos. She then went to IKEA and bought these four rolling bins and we spent all day putting them in the bins. I made sure to put all the cool stuff and mostly built sets in the blue bin. My brother saw and complained, but I just said I was innocent, and that it wasn’t my fault. So we split Legos and all was fine. For a few years that is.

You see, my brother and I liked to create massive story arcs and make new mini-figures out of broken ones, blending series and sets.

So I made a new story arc when we moved since a lot of old characters were lost. Gradually though, I got bored and gave them to my brother. A year later, I bought a massive baseplate, using a ton of Legos to create this massive base with tons of new characters in it. I was so proud of it and formed its own story arc around it. However, my brother was not so happy about it. He didn’t like that I had a cool building to play with and lot’s of new minifigs to play with.

You see, he was pretty rough with his characters, and they slowly broke, or got lost, until he only had a handful left. And around this time, I had gone through all the bins and taken all the good stuff out (gold, rare items, weapons, new people, etc.) He was not too happy about this, as I had doubled the number of characters I had.

And some of them were characters that he had lost. He was kind of a d*uchebag to me. So he started stealing my people. I complained to my parents, and he was made to return them. However, he didn’t stop. He kept on going. I complained and he got shut down, finally ending this. Or so I thought.

I looked into my base a month later, and I noticed something. A few of the mini-figures didn’t have weapons, or whatever else they were holding, and I was missing some treasures. I found them in his room, on HIS characters. I reclaimed them, but he kept stealing. My parents were tired of this and told us to sort this out. He didn’t return the stuff.

That weekend I watched Home Alone for the first time. (sad it was the first time I was watching it I know) I bet you can guess what was going through my mind. Cue the petty revenge.

I knew what I wanted to do but not how to do it. I decided to go to the garage and grab my old water gun. Through some string, a drill + some little metal hole thingies, some duct tape, and some elbow grease, I had a mechanism that when the door was opened, the water gunshot at whoever opened it. (I put this in my closet where I stored this on a shelf and had a way to disarm the system)

Whelp, a few days later my brother starts screaming while I’m eating lunch.

(He screams like a banshee for the smallest things, so no one was immediately worried.) He then stomps downstairs with his hand over his eyes, crying like crazy. He says “I got water in my eyes.” Next, he goes full-on male Karen mode, saying It’s all my fault. My parents look confused, as I was downstairs, talking with them the whole time. I explained to them what I did, telling them that I was told to sort it out with him, so I did. My parents burst out laughing. My brother never stole my Legos again, and my dad brings this up every chance he gets. Lol.

One last thing, afterward, I took it down, and attached a chain and lock to it.” meepswag35

22. Dad’s Witch Of A Wife Gets A Brutal Divorce

“My mother passed away from cancer when I was 6.

It was very tough for me because I was very close to my mother, I always spent time with her whenever I could. It was especially tough on my dad. During her diagnosis and treatment, he escaped into his work and was hardly home. When she passed, dad fell into a deep depression and turned to drinking for almost a year until my older sister pulled him out of it and gave him a wake-up call.

Our dad had always been distant and cold before my mother’s passing, but after my sister talked to him, he was very involved and oddly caring to me and my little brother. He started dating again and he dated a few different women. Dad always brought us along and I didn’t think much of it, he usually dated women with kids, so we had kids to play and hang out with.

Even if it was somebody without kids, we still went out to eat and go to fun places.

This continued for around a year. Eventually, my dad met the woman I came to call Satan, for reasons that fit her perfectly. Satan had kids, but they were all grown up and out of the house. She had all her son’s toys and stuff that she allowed us to play with, which were the best of the best at the time, so we had a ball. Satan was also super sweet and spoiled us rotten, so we thought she was awesome. They dated for 3 or 4 months and my dad seemed happy and we were enjoying all the stuff we were getting.

It wasn’t long after this that our dad sat us down and asked what we thought of her. We said she was awesome and it was cool that she treated us so nice (most of dad’s girlfriends treated us like an eyesore or something). We didn’t understand why he asked that until about a week later when we were told to dress up real nice and we were at a church for a surprise shotgun wedding. It was weird, but we were kids, so what did we know? We were old enough to know this meant she was our new mom, so we thought, awesome, what could go wrong? We, especially myself, learned that everything would go wrong.

Almost immediately after the wedding, Satan showed her true colors.

She started treating us like absolute ***,* especially me. As the oldest, I had the biggest target on my back. Satan started accusing me of things neither I or my brother did to my dad to get me in trouble. Like breaking things we didn’t break, stealing candy and food and stealing her clothes and destroying them (really? What do we care about her clothes?). To make it true, she’d hide food and candy wrappers in our room and her clothes to make it look like we did these things. And we got chewed out and were severely punished and grounded.

I got it the worst. And it wasn’t long before she was straight up verbally and physically abusing me. I tried to tell my dad about it a couple of times, but he blew it off because of all the trouble “I” was causing and thought I was making it up.

I had to suffer from this from 8 until I was 12. By the time I was 12, I was big enough that I physically could take her and intimidate her, and I had enough. I was tired of trying to play by the rules. I was tired of walking on eggs****s and most importantly, I was tired of HER.

I started acting out and doing whatever I could just to p*ss her off. I started growing my hair out and blaring metal music from my room. Standard acting out from a teenager but amped up to the ninth degree. Satan started barging into my room screaming at me, saying that I was the devil (oddly ironic, coming from Satan’s mouth) and I was going to **** (Satan would know).

I would just crank the music louder and spray body spray in her face (she claimed she was allergic to it) and would run out telling my dad about it, which I would get stuck doing all the chores as punishment (chopping firewood and working in my dad’s shop).

By 15, Satan started kicking me out of the house, like it was some sort of punishment. I’d happily oblige, pack my ***,* and stroll out the door. Every single time she did this, she’d call the police and claimed I ran away. The cops would pick me up, take me home and told me to straighten up or I’d end up in juvie. And of course, Satan would play the innocent victim, that I was out of control and she didn’t know what to do with me.

It wasn’t long before I ended up being forced to see therapists (plural because I went through several, I turned it into a past time to **** with them).

The kick-outs and call-ins eventually ended up getting me thrown in a couple of different mental institutions. My dad was getting frustrated by the situation, but not entirely because of me. He was getting p*ssed because of Satan pushing him into all of this. I think he was starting to see that she was really the one responsible for everything and not the other way around. After my last institution stay, Satan was trying to pressure him into putting me on a boy’s ranch at 16. Dad put his foot down and essentially told her to go **** herself.

This stunned Satan and all the attention she had put on me, switched to my little brother after that.

Unfortunately for her, he had no patience for it and promptly made it evident when he nearly took her head off with a sledgehammer when she tried going off on him when he was driving posts for her stupid miniature horses in front of my DAD of all people. Little bro was his golden child and he wasn’t having it. He started ignoring her and any time she got in his face, he’d lose it. At dinner one night, Satan started getting in his face and he just threw his plate across the room, making a huge mess. She started screaming at him to clean it up.

I got up and proceeded to clean it up. Satan started screaming at me and him, telling him to clean it up and not his little b*stard.

That word triggers me because of losing my mom and I was seeing red. I told her to shut the **** up and go to ****. My dad told me to stop cleaning and go to my room. He knew I was out of my mind with rage. I turned and stormed off to my room, seething. My dad had gotten up to go to the living room to watch TV. Satan was not letting him off the leash though. She kept screaming at him. I could hear from my room and stood in the doorway watching.

Dad eventually got up to go outside to smoke a cigarette to calm down (Satan claimed she was allergic to smoke, so he went outside to smoke as a courtesy, even now). She BLOCKED him from going anywhere. So, dad plopped back down on the couch and started lighting up a cigarette and she swatted it out of his mouth. He looked at her and told her, “If you won’t get out of my way and let me go smoke outside, I’m going to do it right here,” while pulling out another.

Again, she swatted it away. My dad is a 3 strikes guy and after 3 strikes, he’d follow through on what he promised. “You smack another cigarette out of my hands and you’ll regret it” and she proceeded to taunt and mock him.

He started to light up another one and low and behold, Satan smacked it away and proceeded to full blow slap him across the face. Dad jumped up and shoved her so hard, she bounced off the wall. She got back up and looked at him stunned. She got back up and started stomping towards him, hand slung behind him. Now I had enough. I rushed out and grabbed her hand, stopping her dead in her tracks. “Don’t you dare touch my dad again you ****”,* in a way that sounded more like a growl.

Dad got up and told me and my brother to pack our stuff, we were leaving. We packed and headed out, the entire time, Satan was screaming at us.

At some point, she called the cops and told them WE had assaulted HER. The police arrived and took the reports from both sides. We were told to vacate the premises, to which my dad replied, “Why do you think we were loading our stuff up when you arrived? She’s been acting insane the whole night.” Satan was doing no favors for herself by flailing her arms and screaming at us the entire time. The cops told her several times to stop or they’d throw her in jail for causing a disturbance and disrupting the investigation.

The cops asked for our reports and statements and we left. We bounced around a bit for a couple of months until we found a new house to move into.

During this time, Satan had filed a restraining order against us, so we couldn’t get the rest of our things. Dad had filed for divorce. Satan was a big church goer (who knew Satan loved going to church?) and was telling everyone we were evil and accused us of doing terrible things to her. We were treated like outcasts and criminals for months by the community.

Then came the divorce court. Dad had studied legal documents and statutes for years as a hobby and had a personal friend and customer for a lawyer. He was representing for nearly no charge as a favor for all the work my dad had done for him, at near rock bottom prices. We were coached on how to act and how to present ourselves, along with the case.

Each of us went up to give a testimony and Satan was sitting there all smug like she was winning. This didn’t last long. I was the last one from our side to give testimony. When my name was called, she looked at me like she was ready to kill me.

This woman hated me with a passion after that ring went on her finger and the thing that p*ssed her off the most was my happiness. So, I knew just how to set her off. I walked up and smiled all sweet and innocently at her as I walked by her. She was glowing bright red. I sit down and the judge questions me and asks for my testimony. I give one look right to Satan before I start and smile.

I turn away and before I can utter a full sentence, she EXPLODES into an incoherent rant. The judge proceeds to call for order in the court, yelling at the top of his lungs, to no avail. He finally starts banging his gavel before she finally calms down and goes silent.

The judge is stunned and looks at his gavel in shock saying, “In my 20 years of being a judge, I’ve NEVER had to use this”, in a humorous tone. Everybody in the courtroom snickers and I can’t help but bust out laughing. The judge looks over and I stop immediately and apologize. I look over at Satan and give her a big grin. She absolutely LOSES it AGAIN and the judge is yelling for order in the court and slamming his gavel again.

Again, she goes silent and the judge is again stunned. “20 years I go without using this thing and here I go using it twice on the same day”, he remarks, met again with snickers from everyone but Satan in the courtroom.

By this point, only my dad, brother, and I had (in my case was going to give mine) given testimony, Satan had not. The judge immediately threw out whatever case she had and reversed the restraining order from against us, to HER. What’s more, he made it a PERMANENT restraining order, citing that anyone crazy enough and stupid enough to go off in front of and to a judge was obviously a danger to the people she was trying to sue and press charges against.

No awards were given to her and everything would be split equally.

We walked out of the courtroom grinning ear to ear. We didn’t have to lift a finger and Satan had dug her own grave. As we got into the car, Satan came storming out of the courtroom being escorted by 2 police officers. As we were pulling out to leave, I stuck my head out the window and flipped her off while giving her the raspberry. She went off and started screaming and charging at us. The police officers tackled her and had her in handcuffs as we pulled away and it was glorious. We celebrated that night and my dad and I bonded for the first time in my life.

Life was good after that. The community had done a complete 180 and Satan was a pariah. Nobody outside of her equally sh*tty daughter and mother had anything to do with her. I was still an outcast and viewed as a freak, but I was OK with that, as long as my dad and brother weren’t being shunned and shamed anymore, I was totally cool with it.

But my dad wasn’t done yet. After making our lives **** for so long, my dad decided to return the favor. We lived just up the hill from Satan and whenever she left, my dad followed. When she got to wherever she was going, he’d pull up and give her a smug look. She would get red in the face from pure rage and promptly got back in her car to leave.

She couldn’t go shopping or go to any appointments. She either had to get someone to get her groceries and stay overnight at her daughter’s to go into her appointments or else she’d have to cancel and go hungry.

This went on for a couple of months before my dad started seeing someone. A few months later, my dad, unfortunately, passed away from an accidental overdose due to medical negligence. He had been taking antidepressants after the divorce and going to therapy, which none of us knew about. His therapist recommended switching medications and put him on new ones. However, they didn’t allow the old medication to get out of his system. So, when dad started taking the new medication, the combination caused him to be extremely forgetful.

And the longer he was on it and the more he took, the worse his memory got. He ended up accidentally OD’ing because of it.

Dad has been gone for 15 years now and I’ve since forgiven him for not believing us about Satan. I also appreciate that we were at least able to bond before he passed away. It was a terrible thing to experience, but at least it was the best time of my life with my dad before he went. I hope that he rests in peace and knows that I always have and will always look up to him.” Kopo93

21. Neighbor Chopped Down Our Privacy Shrubs, So We Planted Smelly Trees

“We’ve been having issues with ***** *Neighbor since they moved in last year.

He plays loud bass music OUTSIDE well past 1 am several nights each week, dumps his snow in our yard in winter, and generally makes an a*s of himself. He tried to start a fight with my husband over his suspicion that we had dug a four-inch dip at the street (it was a pothole that was there before either of us moved in).

Our homes are about 20 feet apart, and there was once a beautiful row of tall flower bushes halfway between our homes. It was several feet onto my property, but last month we discovered that he had cut them all down and chopped up the trunks.

He knew it was our property, because he had recently measured out his property, and knew the border was at least five feet from the hedgerow.

However, without a fence, there was no way to prove they were on our property, and the lack of justice bothered us.

He now uses our lack of privacy to harass my husband every time he is in the yard, yelling nasty things and generally living up to his title as d*ckhead.

It bothered us enough that now we are having an updated survey done, and redoing our backyard fence. It was normally about five feet from the property line, but not anymore. We are reclaiming every inch of our property, just up to the point where the fence is not considered ‘shared.’ We also decided to extend the fence into the front yard.

We are putting the fence out front not only to keep him away; It is there to protect our new investment.

We have strategically purchased replacement plants for the front and back yard. Oh, these new flowering Bradford pear trees will be beautiful. But more importantly, they emit a pungent odor of rotting fish and dog ***. They are one of the stinkiest trees that grow in this climate. That said, we bought six and everyone is now planted a few feet from his property line, on our side of the fence.

According to an NPR article “Simply put, these trees stink.”

“This whole place smells like dead fish,” says Sheila Titus. “I mean everywhere. Everywhere you see one of these trees with the white on them.”

“They come up with this stinkin’ stuff comin’ out of them,” she says. “Oh God, it was terrible.”

Revenge is sweet, but in this case, it stinks to high ****.” publickdomain

Another User Comments:

“Depending on the statute of limitations, once you have that updated survey you can go after him for the cost of the shrubs, and probably the cost of everything you have done to repair the damage he caused.

If you can get him to admit that he knew those bushes were on your property, in either writing or on the audio recording, then you’ve got it made.” naranghim

20. Try To Take Over My Shower? No Hot Water For You

“Landlady (boarding me and another lady) tells me that her brother and SIL, are temporarily moving in for a week or two. LL’s brother keeps taking up my parking spot. A week later, LL’s brother and SIL are moving their entire house into this one. Landlady has her own separate 3rd-floor loft so I rarely see or hear her.

Fast forward when routines settle.

They are repeatedly disrespectful, taking other’s food. Everyone but SIL works, and SIL expects people to entertain her. SIL would purposely stack boxes blocking the basement or in some gauntlet of haphazard.

And even blocking the basement (my room in basement), using herself until she got attention.

LL’s SIL cleans the house. She often flicks the basement light off from upstairs, chuckling to herself in amusement.

The thing that set me off. My normal routine is work, workout, shower, chill. And I was finding more and more that SIL would spend days cleaning the bathroom in parts and started doing it the exact time that I would come home from my workout, and tell me I have to wait. Often leaving the bathroom to dry or take the shower curtain and knot them up or wash them.

Okay fine. Routines clash, but I ask if there’s a different time that could be done? Nope. Cool. This goes on for two weeks until one day I get home, I had worked on my day off, and my workout was extra that day.

I get home at about 4pmish. The contents of the entire bathroom are now outside the bathroom. SIL is watching TV. I asked when she will be finished, shirt visible with **** and pit sweat.

“After this,” she motioned to the TV. Okay. I come up an hour later, two, she’s eating dinner at hour three. And by hour 4. I now have to go to bed, showerless. Gross. I see the light outside my room go off around 930pm, and more chuckling.

Then I hear the shower. Cell flashlight on, I walk 30 feet to the laundry room sink, and crank the hot water for 30 seconds and hear the shower turn off. I walk into my room and sit quietly in the dark.

And I can now clearly hear LL’s SIL tell her husband to go down to the first floor to watch and listen to the basement. A few minutes pass and I hear the water again.

I quietly slip out of my room and since I know what I am going for, I don’t bother with the light. I get to the hot water tank and shut the main valve after the tank, off. I quietly slip back in my room and hear LL’s SIL give it good to her husband, who swears he heard absolutely nothing. SIL marches downstairs and I can hear her against my door. I quietly wait and after 10 minutes she leaves to give her husband heck. He asked her to show him the problem.

So I slip back out and turn the valve back on before they reach the shower.

She didn’t try to have another shower. And 10 minutes later, I get mine.

All the issues in the house suddenly resolved.” retconbacon

 

19. Annoying Telemarketers Finally Get The Hint

It’s only fair that they know what they put other people through.

“I was never one to hate telemarketers too much, except for this one exemption. About seven years ago, a company with the name of Easy Energy or Simple Power, something along those lines, began calling me about my power and gas bills and how I could save significantly by switching to them.

This naturally confused me at the time, considering I was a minor who did not own a house.

I politely explained this to the sales rep, who apologized and told me they would not contact me again. That was that it would seem. Or at least, it was for about two months.

Then I received another call from the same company with the exact same spiel. This time, a bit more annoyed, I asked to speak to a supervisor. I explained again to this supervisor that I was a minor, had no electricity or gas bills, and was, therefore, in no way interested in learning how I could save money on them. Again an apology and a promise not to call again.

Three months later another call with the exact same spiel. This time I put on the voice of a little kid and asked if they were from Nintendo.

They hung up. However, unfortunately for me, the calls never stopped. Now where I am from, you can technically put yourself on a no-call list, but screw that, it was a hassle to do, and this company was the one who should be putting in the bare minimum effort of writing “NOT INTERESTED” next to my number. So the next time they call in a few month’s time, I didn’t scream or shout, I simply hung up and enacted my revenge. If they like to annoy people with nonstop calls, why not give them a taste of their own medicine?

So I called them back. When someone picked up the phone and tried to initiate conversation I simply said nothing until they hung up.

Then I called again, and again, and again. The first time it was just four times, once for each time they had contacted me against my will. The next time they called I did this five times, then six. It was easy enough, I just would do homework and click redial every time the call ended. Sometimes I would talk as if I was trying to get in contact but couldn’t hear them, but most of the time I was too busy to bother.

Eventually, I reached a point (after about eight calls) where they would send me to answering machine. Foolishly I thought my pettiness would finally wake them up not to call me, even if just to avoid the *** who kept calling back.

Alas no. This went on every few months like clockwork for three years until finally, I called back and… straight to an automated message. It explained that I should leave my name and issue and a representative would call me back. Part of me likes to think my constant calling is what caused that.” Finalpotato

18. Park Illegally In Handicapped Spots? You’re All Getting Towed

Petty? More like necessary.

“Hi, y’all. this was years ago, at Christmas time at Target. I had JUST given birth to my daughter and ran to the store to get diapers (and a moment of peace). I parked in BF Egypt, walked past a zillion cars, and saw a woman slowly driving past all the full disabled spots. She is almost in tears, so I walk up and ask if she is ok.

She explodes in tears saying she is in a wheelchair and needs a disabled spot, but they are all taken by folks who don’t have disabled placards!

I see a spot about to open up and hold it for her. She parks, thanks me and I go into the store to tell them about the illegal disabled parking. The Target lady says, yep, happens all the time., she makes an announcement to the store asking folks to move their cars. I ask if I can use her phone. I call the police (our city is large but I swear the cops are bored, so if you make a call, they send EVERYONE). I say Hi- it’s OP calling from Target. We have 18 disabled spaces and only one has a legal placard.

Can you rustle up some officers and fix this?

Literally 8 minutes later, about 20 cops and at least 20 tow trucks (!!!) were at Target and it was like a ballet! I’ve never seen tow trucks hook up and drive away so quickly and in complete synchronicity! Within about 20 minutes all the cars were gone and there were cops standing in front of the disabled spots.

After getting the stuff I needed (and some Christmas candy, because candy) I was walking back to my car… I saw what the cops were doing! When someone came with their baskets full of bags, searching for their car, an officer would call out, who has the ’92 yellow Sentra? The illegal parkers would be directed to an officer, given a $345 ticket and the address of the impound place! And each cop said, Merry Christmas to them!

OUCH! Now I know it was a d!ck move to do this at the holidays but at the time I weighed the rudeness of the folks illegally parking in necessary disabled spots, because folks think, I’m just popping in for a minute (or some other lame and ableist thought) against the true need that the disabled driver has.

Just an extra tidbit, both my kids are now adults and both are disabled! Prior to this incident, I had never thought much of being disabled. Now I’m a full-time advocate for the disabled!” maniacallygrinning

17. Bully Me? Hope You Like Getting Hit With Paint Balls

“One of my favorite petty decisions.

Growing up I was always easily bullied as I didn’t care enough to fight back and didn’t see a point in trying to speak up because your typical bully isn’t usually the brightest, and this happened at school, around the neighborhood, and in sports teams all my life growing up. Still to this day I don’t really care about any of it because it hardly bothered me then, more annoyed by how constant it felt.

However, there was one bully that got under my skin at the wrong time.

I played in a local baseball little league and had been in the league for years so a lot of the people in the league knew me, including coaches. One year I ended up on an old coaches team that I wasn’t fond of, and was forced to play with his son, with which I shared a position. I’m not going to say I’m a freak athlete at that age, but my speed and knowledge of baseball at this point was far above others my age in the league. However, as all coaches do, mine put his son in as starter all season long, only subbing me into that position when he felt his son needed a break (his son constantly made errors after errors costing us lots of games), or into other positions as needed, mostly center field.

That being said, the son had formed opinions of me based on his own position on the team.

All season he tried to belittle me, physically taunt me by pushing, shoving, tripping, etc, but none of it was ever noticed because he was the coach’s son, and “boys will be boys.” I never fought back because I was told to take the high road, and boy did I ever do the exact opposite.

At the end of the season, we had a team party, and it was decided to be had at a local party spot that offered water slides, go-kart racing… And paintball. Naturally, the kid has thrown some verbal jabs at me at the party. We get down to business, teams are picked, and somehow I ended up on the coach’s son’s team, and then it hit me, *** this kid.

We get into the first game and I, being much faster than everyone, took off as fast as I could and hid immediately in the back of my team’s side. I hid there for a while, only ever peeking over to check out what’s happening. Then finally, as if fate decided “*** this kid” he was taking cover peeking around a tree in front of me. Me being the little *** head I was, popped up shot him 3 times in the back of the knee (he wasn’t necessarily properly dressed for the occasion, so it hurt a little more :)) and then proceeded to duck behind cover again to which the kid throws his arms up bawling his eyes out hobbling off to the side of the area and calling for his dad.

After that match the whole team was asked who did it, to which no one replied, as I made triple sure no one else could see me. No one ever found out it was me, and I got some sweet sweet revenge on the coach’s bully son.

I still to this day remember that moment fondly, and still have no remorse. As for his injuries? He bled for a while till it finally bruised all up and down the back of his leg. I remember the bruise was already climbing his thigh by the time I got out of the paintball area. It was a satisfying moment for my younger self.” D_Flyerr

16. Steal My Car Twice? Say Bye To Your Bikes And Scooters

“Last year I finally got my driver’s license and my mother bequeathed me her old car, getting a new one for herself.

I had saved up a bit of my own money from work and bought myself a nice dashcam (with a cabin camera attachment-this is important later). Normally I’m pretty good about locking my car when I leave it but sometimes if my hands are full or if I’m in a rush I might forget.

There are some kids who live(d) a couple of houses down from ours and they LOVE to play on their bikes and scooters outside. It’s not a huge annoyance for me. I can always turn up my music or go to the back room when they get too loud.

So one day the kids had finished playing for the evening. I went out to my car and once I got in, I realized that I was missing my coin cup and some random trinkets.

I checked my dash camera, which is motion-sensitive so the second someone comes into view,  one of the lenses it turns on. Sure enough, the kids down the street had gotten into my car and taken my belongings. Initially, I planned to let it go because the stuff they took was cheap, easily replaceable, or otherwise meaningless. On top of that, I’d considered it partially my fault for leaving the car unlocked.

A few days later, I apparently had another brain fart because I heard the kids playing outside, and once I went out again, later more things were missing from my car. This time they had taken an item that held a few fast-food gift cards and my vehicle’s insurance and registration.

This time I was p*ssed because they did it AGAIN AND they took things that I needed/couldn’t replace easily. I was so p*ssed.

These kids like to throw their bikes and stuff in their front yard at the end of the day, and knowing this I decided to hatch a plan and teach them what it feels like to have their things stolen. After my parents fell asleep, I waited a couple of extra hours then snuck outside. It was pitch black cause the lights on our street don’t work well. It was very easy for me to grab their things then quickly and quietly move them to this place a little down the street where I knew they wouldn’t immediately be found.

I hate to admit that I relished in those kids’ misery but it was so so sweet to see them feeling the way they made me feel. The initial plan was to put their bikes back in their yards after a week or two (knowing full well that I would never have my things returned, mind you) but their parents apparently didn’t take too kindly to having stuff stolen from their yard (ironic, considering they raised little thieves) and before I could return their bikes, or before I even fully realized what they were doing, they had packed up and moved out of the neighborhood. Their house now sits empty.” gumdroprecession

15. Tell Us We Have No Rights Without A Union? We’ll Get One

“So I worked in a retirement home quite a few years ago.

This home hired a lot of immigrants from the Philippines or other countries (no issue there, loved them all).

I was born and raised in my country and had had a lot of issues with previous jobs trying to rip me off or not follow labor laws which drove me insane so I always educated myself on current laws and my rights as an employee.

Now I started to see management not take things seriously when it came to our hours, pay, respect in general and our safety by lack of PPE. I would go to my supervisors, managers of mine, and other departments to get things right. Not many of them liked me but I always got what I wanted because it was legally how it should have been.

So I wasn’t asking for outrageous things or pointing out minor infractions…always bigger stuff that mattered.

I watched them fire people (mostly the immigrant workers) for petty things without the proper procedures. None of them did anything because they were too timid and scared of repercussions. This stuff enraged me, injustice is one of my biggest pet peeves. But in the end, if the individual didn’t want to take my advice and fight back, their prerogative and not my battle.

Now it came where my husband and I wanted to buy a house and I needed to increase my hours from part-time to full-time officially as I always worked ft but had pt status. There was a ft position that was open but as temporary ft as the person to had the position was off work as they had cancer.

However, word got around that this person was better after treatment and had started school and another job, so she wasn’t coming back.

Now there was a policy I found that said a person on leave like that had to provide consistent paperwork to hold their position and I knew through making friends with certain management, it wasn’t being provided but the director would not deal with it and put the proper position up.

I inquired to multiple people in management and kept getting pushed off. No one was mad at me or annoyed for asking… just couldn’t be bothered. Then I went straight to the director and talked to her about it. I was polite explained why I was inquiring about the position.

She got very rude and huffy. Got in my face and told me nothing was going to happen and I had no course to take since we weren’t unionized …that was the moment….instantly in my head I said…for now ****.

Now if you’ve never been involved in starting a union….I had a lot of work to do…I had to talk to all my co-workers off-premises…most were on board ..some I had to talk into as they were scared of being fired if they signed the paperwork…contact a union and get all the necessary paperwork and info I needed…then I went around in 1 day all over 3 cities on a day I had off and got the minimum 40 signatures from ft and pt employees.

I submitted them and the next day my work was served with its notice… the director not very happy. She had no idea it was me as it showed how’s far up her head was up her own ***.

I was a steward and helped with negotiations and got my employee’s rights and better wages and time off. I was very bitter by the whole thing and quit 2 weeks after signing the agreement with no notice. Screw them.

Wanna tell me we have no rights because of a lack of union keeping management accountable??? Cool. 3 days later we have a union to represent us and you can’t fire anyone!” truthonly1

 

14. Controlling Ex Gets Huge Medical Debt

Serves him right. Don’t fake mental illness!

“When I was a freshly turned 18-year-old girl, I was charmed and manipulated into a relationship with a horrible 30-year-old man.

In the first months, he basically used the threat of ******* to make me allow him to move in with me and start supporting him (including making me think he was dead for a week, red flag much?)

Of course, things only got worse with time, and we were together for a little over a year before I made the terrifying decision to get myself out. The last straw was confirming that everything he had ever told me about himself was a blatant lie, including the European accent he had been FAKING for his entire adult life.

Once I told him we were done, I left “our” apartment (that was half paid for by my parents and half paid for by me) on foot.

Not long after I left, he started texting me saying that he was about to take his own life. At this point, I knew with certainty that he was full of *** and that it was a desperate ploy to manipulate me to come back. But, I also knew that this dude was all kinds of unstable and there was no way in **** I was risking being wrong.

So, I called his bluff and called 911. My friend picked me up and got me back to the apartment around the time the police did, who instructed me to go in first to coax him out of any dangerous situation. I walked in the door and found him sitting on the ground with unwrapped Nyquil and Tylenol spread around him, along with a bottle of wine and this costume dagger he thought was so bada**.

I could see the satisfaction in his face when I stepped inside, and I will always remember the look on his face when I stepped aside to reveal 3 cops coming toward him. It was a big dramatic scene in which he pleaded that it was all fake and he never intended to do anything, that ended with him leaving handcuffed in an ambulance, and I started putting my young life back together.

Fast forward a few months, to sitting in the same living room enjoying some underage drinking with one of my best friends. At one point, she decided to randomly dump her purse upside down and spread the chaotic contents on the floor. I look over to her saying “what’s this!?” and holding a key up to her face.

Turns out, it was my mailbox key that I had been missing for over a month! (I was too scared of my landlord to ask for a replacement and really had no mail coming to me so I just shrugged it off.)

We went down to my mailbox to collect the weeks of junk mail and found three letters addressed to my ex from some health company I didn’t recognize. Yes, I know it was not legal to do, but of course, we opened them. Turns out, it was the bill for the ambulance ride, and for some reason, the dumba*s gave them MY address! (Or, did he honestly think he’d still be getting me back at that point!?) So, we opened the next two and saw that the bill was now overdue and exponential late fees were being tacked on.

Naturally, we laughed our a*ses off, and decided to just… ignore it for a while longer. I got several letters to him over the next few weeks that I opened, and when I was satisfied with the amount the fees had reached, I kept the next letter sealed.

My same friend and I drove by his work (a downright laughable retail job) and I dropped her off around the block. She carried the letter in, walked up to him smiling, and said “here ya go!” while handing him the letter, and turned and walked away. As she was just stepping out the door, she heard him yell “***!” And that was that.” SaintofMysteryCat

13. Break Up A Couple For No Reason? I’ll Break You And Your Girlfriend Up

“Backstory: I’ve been friends with Pink (F,19) for about half a year now.

She’s my first ever real girlfriend in college.

Before we knew each other, Pink had been friends with these 2 dudes as well playing vids together in the past. Let’s call them John and Robert. Both of these dudes liked her but she chose John and wasn’t aware of Robert’s feelings and neither did John.

So it was all well until Robert convinced John to break up with her. And not only that, he continued to give her *** that she didn’t deserve. He lied to a lot of people about a lot of things about her. She didn’t deserve any of this. She came to me crying. And I had to take her home because she didn’t feel safe where we were.

Now I already knew these 2 people long before the break up so they still invited me to hang out with them.

Scene: One day it was me, John, Robert, 2 other guys, and 1 other girl. Playing games at John’s house.

Robert had been talking about his new girlfriend he’s been dating for a month. And every time he talks about her is so generic and cliche like you’d see in every lovely dovey character say in a movie.

“OH, I like the way she talks, smile, her face…”. He also kept on texting to her via Instagram and kept on liking every message she sends.

Revenge:

I somehow made a really long speech on why he shouldn’t be dating like that, what he’s doing wrong, why his concept of love is toxic, exaggerated, and unreal.

To which then I ended with ” are you a clown or are you the whole circus?”

And everyone made that face like I just ruined this whole man’s career.

And he broke down. He cried and he broke up with her there and then.

He still doesn’t know that I did this on purpose because I really just told him the ugly truth no one wanted to expose him to. And I told Pink afterward and she smiled and laughed so much and offered to buy me a drink next time we hung out.” Scarlettapotat

12. Tailgating Me Is The Wrong Thing To Do

“So this takes place in a medium-size city during rush hour, or at least what’s left of it during this *********** event.

(Before people ask, I’m considered an essential, and we are also not currently under a full lockdown).

So I was driving home after work, and the way traffic was set up, I ended up in the far left of three lanes going a safe 5 or 6 over. When a**hat comes flying up onto my butt.

So when a**hat came flying up, I wasn’t really in a position to get over for them to pass me right away, which I normally would do. I was in the middle of passing somebody, but traffic to my right wasn’t bumper to bumper, so give me a few seconds and I could (but would be contesting traffic). So basically, I didn’t have anywhere to go but forward, and a**hat was stuck behind me.

So when somebody comes flying right up onto my back bumper, I take a look in my rearview at their reaction to me. If they don’t react poorly, I get over when I can and let them go. But this lady lost it, throwing her hands up, trying to wave me over and everything.

So I started to *** with her. I placed myself to where I could get over when I wanted, but she couldn’t pass me, slowed a little bit sometimes, sped back up. Doing enough to make sure she stayed behind me and didn’t just swerve through traffic and go around me. But that wasn’t the revenge.

You see, we were on a notorious stretch of the interstate, and I knew a couple of miles ahead of where there was a speed camera.

And I was guessing she either did not know about it or would be too angry to realize where we were on the highway.

So just before we got to the camera, I got over to let her pass and watched her fly past me, flip me off, and definitely get a speeding ticket.

For those of you saying what I did is dangerous, allow me to clarify a few things:

(1) it’s not that busy traffic-wise, but I was not in an easy position to get out of my lane originally. I drive a big 8 seat truck, and the slot I would’ve gotten into to let her pass if she hadn’t have been so rude was not big enough to fit me.

I would’ve had to throw on a turn signal and hope the car beside me slowed down to let me in.

(2) my speeding up and slowing down wasn’t as dangerous as it sounded originally. My trucks cruise control does not work, so I always fluctuate a few MPH anyway. Usually, I’ll have a lead foot and speed up too much before slowing down. All I was doing this time to change speed was let off the gas some, before speeding back up to my spot. I wasn’t brake-checking her or anything.

(3) After she originally flew up on me and freaked out for a minute, she backed off enough that I wasn’t worried about being rear-ended or anything.

(4) I wasn’t really impeding traffic at that speed.

This whole time I was still going anywhere from 4-9 MPH over, which is the same as the rest of traffic. Because of those speed cams, there’s maybe a half dozen people a day that would pass you going that fast any given day.” rth9139

11. Ex-Wife Demanded Our Daughter Goes To Bed Earlier, So I Cut Down Her Phone Time With Her

Sorry, she has to go to bed early.

“Just a little backstory first. My wife was together with her then-boyfriend with whom she had a lovely daughter. Jump ahead 5 years and we’ve been together for four years, got married, and are happily living together. The situation with her now ex hasn’t gotten better at all and since the start of the pandemic, something weird happened.

It started with him refusing to drop the daughter off, saying that he felt we would not take care of her as well as we should and that having her here would endanger his girlfriend and stepdaughter. We took the case to court and won. He brought her over soon after. Since then, he has refused to accept her back into his home, saying that his stepdaughter is a risk factor and that he fears for her safety. Rather than staying in quarantine, however, his stepdaughter is out and about, playing outside, went over to her father’s place, her grandparents while his girlfriend, another risk case, is similarly not staying home in any way, shape or form. Whatever, all this isn’t really the point.

The judge had said that we should provide the father and his new family with the opportunity to make video calls, which we did. 3 times a day, they would call and things seemed fine. Nowadays, he seems to be working more again and sent us an email with the following concerns.

We were not adhering to the standards set by our government (we are).

He doesn’t want to speak with his daughter as often, now only once a day (we agreed with that, 3 times seemed a little much after 3 weeks of having done so)

He believes we are not keeping to her bedtime, which is 7 pm, and that we have to do so, or else we’re willfully ignoring the agreement set 4 years ago concerning bedtime.

Now, it’s the final part that made me smile when my irate wife had me read the email. I simply said, well, the fact is, she’s been going to bed late because they call at 6:30 pm and usually take longer than 30 minutes and often going to roughly 7:30. I guess from now on, we just tell them to hang up at 6:50 so she can go to bed on time.

We sent our reply in the mail and did not receive any confirmation. I did, however, surprise him by doing exactly what I promised. I make sure they hang up every single day after just 20 minutes. I may be being petty here, but after a solid 4 years of enduring taunts, willful lies, and a laundry list of the most typical annoyances and grievances that come with a divorce involving two stubborn parents, I have had enough.

I’ll keep complying with that particular wish until he admits he was a fool, though I doubt that will ever happen.” TuftyTeacher

10. Keep Blowing In My Ear? I’ll Spit On You

“So this happened a really long time ago – when I was in fourth grade- but I still to this day have not gotten over it.

So in fourth grade, I joined cross country and this story occurs when I went to my very first meet. Students from all schools had to line up behind their teacher before the start of the actual run, so my friend and I were in line. However, with us, there were two kids that were notorious in our school for being shady.

Just for you to understand what these guys are like I’ll give a short summary: they were a year older and in grade 5, yet despite this age, they would hit on and hang out with older teenage girls.

They were also known to steal stuff from other students, and at one point had tried to steal from me too. Once before, they had bullied me with a few of these teenage girls while I was just trying to vibe with the glider on the playground- it was a sad time but after I told a teacher what happened the next day, they didn’t bother me anymore.

Anyway, let’s call these dudes Thing 1 and Thing 2. So, I avoided interaction with these kids because they gave me a bad vibe. Unfortunately, they stood very close to us in the line, and my friend began to have fun talking to them. For some unknown reason, they began to blow in our ears as a joke, but I hated it.

I told Thing 1 to lay off, but he continued to do it (to be honest I think I was just more annoyed at the fact that they had the audacity to talk to me after the bullying incident than the fact that someone was blowing in my ear). Because he continued to do it, I told him that I would spit on him if he did it again.

Surprise surprise, Thing 1 did it again, and I told him that I was getting my spit ready. He did it again, and I told him that the spit was piling up. Then he did it once more, and I turned around and spat at him.

To be honest, I was aiming for his face but it landed in his shirt, so it wasn’t as damaging as I had hoped it would be.

However, he was LIVID, and he called our teacher, who had been chatting with some other teachers this entire time, and told her that I spit on him.

However, before she could reprimand me, I told her that he kept blowing in my ear and that I warned him I would spit in him if he didn’t stop. The best part is she looked like she was thinking for a second and then TURNED AWAY without saying a word. It was the BEST petty revenge of my life, and he stopped bothering me after that so yay. I’m fairly certain that I got away with it not only because I warned him that I would spit, but also because the teacher knew about his rude tendencies.” yippitydrippity

Another User Comments:

“Ha, makes me remember in Latin class, this one boy behind me kept on kicking my chair, hitting his neighbor in the elbow, and bothering my own neighbor (note that the three of us are girls).

I got annoyed and whispered that I would hit him in the face if he continued, this idiot did continue. I grabbed my 250-page notebook, piled my Latin book on top, and slammed it on the top of his stupid head. The teacher asked me why on earth I tried to knock him out, I told her the story, and she just went “ok, don’t do it again.” Not gonna lie, best day of my life.” ClemenceDDD

 

9. Treat Me Like A Housewife? Go On Your Business Trip With Dirty Clothes

“This happened a few years ago, when I was a bit more hot-headed and more impatient…

I had this boyfriend after college, good-looking and always well-dressed. I didn’t realize how self-centered and manipulative he was until we moved in together, but I learned that very quickly.

The one thing he was useless at was putting his laundry in the basket. He would throw it at the basket and if it lands in the basket, great – if not little miss Tidyfreak would pick it up and put it where it belongs.

Fast forward to about five months of living together and by now the little irritations have become grating frustrations. One Sunday night he craps all over me because the kitchen looked it was hit by a hurricane. (It did, he invited friends over to watch sports and I had to run around making snacks, pour drinks, etc.) After an argument, I clean up while he stomps off to the bedroom. With the kitchen clean, I went for a shower and see his clothes lying around the laundry basket as usual.

Now, the laundry basket stood in our second bedroom because space was an issue. I had enough and kicked his clothes under the bed.

That week I kicked all his stuff not in the basket under the bed. I usually dropped our laundry off on Monday mornings and picked it up after work. The next Monday morning I had to be in the office very early for some reason, so I ask him to drop the laundry, which ends in a fight because His Highness can’t be seen doing that in his fancy suit. So now there’s somewhat of an atmosphere in the apartment. Come the weekend the laundry basket is quite full, and the amount of laundry under the bed must have been a sight.

Sunday is a repeat of the Sunday two weeks before. To say that I had enough by then is an understatement. I went to bed while the game was still on. I started chatting with a college friend who just moved into town. I told her about my domestic situation and she asked what happened to the friend she had in college who wouldn’t allow herself to be treated like a doormat. Bingo! My eyes opened and I decided this was it.

When he got into bed, quite drunk, and tried to have s*x with me I just turned around. Monday morning he tells me that he’s going out of town from Tuesday morning and will only be back late Friday night.

His brother and his girlfriend will be visiting us the next weekend, so can I get stuff to eat, stock up on booze, etc. Oh, I must pack his bag as he will be late as he will be going through the presentations for the trip with his manager. Out the door, he goes. I look at the kitchen and call my friend. Being a true friend she stops in the basement about half an hour later. I called into work and explained I’ll be late. It took us less than an hour to put all my clothes and personal stuff in her SUV. By 9.30 my stuff is in her place, I shower and go to work.

Around 8 that night my phone lights up with the first blocked call.

By then I’m pretty well settled in my friend’s apartment and I read his furious messages to her. He had not a single clean dress shirt, no casual trousers to wear after work on his trip… The kitchen was a health hazard. Where the f*k was I? With the wine flowing the messages were actually hilarious.

Endnote: He started dating and married a woman who put him in his place and kept him there. I understand he’s extremely tidy around the house now!” Alli69

8. Accuse Me Of Hoarding Toilet Paper? I’ll Embarrass You

Don’t judge what you don’t know.

“Yesterday afternoon my area received word that we are going on a stay at home order. For those that are wondering, this is just shy of a city-wide lockdown.

On to the story.

On the way home from work, I stopped by a local pharmacy store to pick up my disabled and homebound mother-in-law’s Rx. While I am considered an essential employee, social worker, I cannot be sure that pharmacies and such will be open when I get off work, so I decided to pick up a few other needed items while I was there.

While walking through the store I happened upon the holy grail of this situation, packages of toilet paper. Now I have enough at home for a bit, but I was not sure about MiL, or my daughter with my toddler and infant grandkids. The sign posted says 2 per customer, so I grab 2 packages, of 8 rolls each.

I go to check out, with a few other things I picked up, including my MiL’s Rx.

When I get to the register, some entitled witch starts huffing and commenting about hoarders, and idiots buying all the TP, loud enough to be heard by even the cashier, who is at least 6 feet away from us.

I don’t even look at the hag, instead, I pull out my phone, and call my MiL. The hag can only hear my side, but it goes like this.

Me: Hi MiL, I got your Rx, and you won’t believe it, They actually had toilet paper here!

Her response

Me: I know, I picked up a package for you, and one for Daughter and the babies. I’ll bring it over with your Rx.

her response

Me: Don’t worry about it, no need to pay me back, but the next time you make fried chicken, just make a little extra for me. Speaking of which, did “sister in law” get a chance to run over dinner?

her response

Me: No problem, I can pick something up on way over, love you and see you soon.

As I was finishing up, I had gotten to the cashier, who started complimenting me on taking care of others during this time of crisis, and asked if MiL or daughter needed anything else, because the store was expecting a delivery in the morning. I told her thanks, and that I would check with them.

As I was leaving I glanced back and saw that the sea hag was red in the face, and thankfully, speechless.” thidum

7. Hit Me With Your Brights? Prepare For A Slower Drive

“A week ago I was driving with the wife and kids for after-school stuff.

I have a full-size pickup truck with a 1.5″ leveling kit (not lift) on the front (my truck still points down from back to front). I specifically selected this so as to not be one of those trucks that destroys everyone with their headlights. I CAN be that truck, but I have to seriously tailgate you first…so I don’t.

At any rate, I saw a large opening on the road I needed to turn right onto. It was a 2-lane road and I made a very legal right on red. I was in the right lane but needed to get in the left lane to turn left less than 1-mile up the road. I punched it a little bit so that I could get up to traffic speed fast and get over.

Enter big-a** F250. He was in the left lane when I turned onto the road but wanted, so very badly, to go faster than everyone else because he’s very important. He ended up getting in the right lane after I turned onto the road, but I had put myself in his path so he got back over a lane.

Crucial to remember – I was accelerating rapidly. I was going the speed limit a few seconds after turning onto the road and was able to get into the left lane about 10 or 15-car-lengths ahead of Mr. Big-a** F250.

This was, however, a grievous offense in the eyes of our humble F250 driver. That slight would NOT go unnoticed, no sir! As we approached the light that I needed to turn left on, he floored it and got right behind me and turned on his 1-million candle-power deathray high beams.

I did the brake-tap maneuver where you don’t actually slow down, but your brakes light up and flash. At this point, he turned them off. That’s when I realized that they were indeed high-beams; at first, I thought they were just the d*ckishly bright headlights you see all the time.

Nope. I had affronted this F250 driver and the only reasonable course of action was to try and blind me and any other nearby motorists. Well. OK.

I get in the left turn lane and so does he. Now, it’s important to note that I was headed due north for a little under 5-miles. This route had 5 stoplights on it and I knew it. The speed limit is 35-mph, but it’s real easy to go 45-50 and 1.

not get ticketed, but 2. not be driving like a psychopath. I tend to go 40-44 (easy to speed, but tickets are expensive and I just don’t need that).

Not today, however! Today we’re being followed by Mr. Big-Important. I went exactly 35-mph once I turned onto the north-south road. No more, no less. I did not exceed the speed limit once, but I was not a “road-boulder.” There are passing zones but it was about 6:45 and I knew he’d never get a chance to use them with the late rush-hour traffic. I was even luckier that I missed literally every light at that speed. I didn’t even have to try; the traffic gods did it for me. One of them was nearly 3-minutes long.

I counted. It was beautiful. He ended up following me the entire way to my destination and he went straight past when we turned in.

We were about 5-minutes late and it was totally worth it.” jdpatric

6. Sure, You Can Copy Off My Test

“Back when I was in eighth grade, I had the misfortune of getting my assigned seat next to them, doesn’t even care, bully, dropped out in tenth grade, probably sells ***** now, kid in Biology. I’ll call him Joe. I new starting out the year that I wouldn’t like having Joe next to me in class, but it was much worse than I ever expected.

Before I continue, there are a few things you should know about me, I was (still am) a very good student.

Graduated Valedictorian, teacher’s pet, trying my hardest kind of student. Everyone knows what kind of student their classmates are, and Joe used this to his advantage every day. Also, I am an extremely chill guy. It takes a lot to get me angry, I have a cool head, and always think before I act. But then, Joe happened.

Joe did many things that I didn’t like on a daily basis in Biology, but one of the only two times in my life I almost fought someone was because of this incident. Joe and I got assigned to a four-person group project, and of course, the three members of the group that wasn’t Joe knew that he wouldn’t help. We tried to get him to help, ended up doing his work, and put his name on it, it was much easier this way.

We ended up having the best grade in the class, and Joe went on about how amazing he was and how we did a “great job team, even though I did most of the work.” This single comment sends me over the edge. I asked my friend (also in the same group) to please watch me or I might throw a punch.

I decided that I was done with Joe. He put our hours of hard work on blast like it was an extra scoop at the ice cream store, and I wanted any sort of revenge I could get. I needed information to get back at Joe. After carefully watching Joe, and searching for a source of revenge, I finally found the perfect person to use to get back at Joe, it was me!! See, Joe was actually not doing bad in Biology, I found it confusing until during a test, Joe ‘accidentally’ bumped my right arm, apologized, and then circled a few answers quickly.

He was cheating off of me. Honestly, I probably should’ve seen it coming.

I contemplated letting the teacher know, but what would that accomplish? If the teacher believed me(probably would have), Joe moves and he finds another arm to bump during a test. No, this was not the answer. A very petty plan concocted in my head. I’m talking having the Grinch smile from the original How the Grinch stole Christmas kind of petty. I lied in wait for my plan to unfold.

Teacher: “Class, remember, that we have the last quiz of the semester tomorrow, I hope you have studied well, its worth a decent portion of your grade for this section.”

They say that ___Elextrix’s smile grew 3 sizes that day.

The next day, we are taking the quiz.

It’s easy. PAINFULLY easy. Only 10 questions, true or false style. It was no wonder as to why the teacher made it worth so many points, she was trying to pad students’ grades. With my plan in motion, I finish in a few minutes and then left the virus on my desk and Joe was already drooling at the bait. I even made it a show. Held up my paper high in the air for a few seconds, dropped it near Joe, twice. Presented it to him like I was about to propose, I did. Joe is eventually satisfied on the poison I had given him and gets up from his chair to turn in his paper. I quickly erase all my answers and switch them to the correct ones and follow right behind Joe and turn in my paper.

The next day in Biology rolls around, and I get my graded paperback and stuff it in my bag before I or Joe can see my grade. Joe’s paper comes around and a gigantic grade of 10 is circled on top. I was surprised that I held a straight face as every fiber in my body wanted to point at Joe and laugh for about twenty minutes straight.

Looking back, my only regret is that I didn’t get all the answers correct on the quiz.” ___Elextrix

5. Steal From Me? I’ve Got You On Camera

“Before I start let me give you a bit of background information, I’m a high school student and always try to be on time for sports, that means I’m also the first to leave the locker room, and I never locked up my Handy and wallet, etc.

because the only other people using the locker at that time are my classmates who you should be able to trust… I thought.

So, the story began a few weeks ago when my grandma gave me 40€ (~45$) and I put them into my wallet. After a few days, I noticed that 30€ were missing. At that point, I didn’t think much about it because I am the kind of person to lose things easily. Life goes on and then the week after the 30€ went missing, I noticed that the other 10€ were missing too, but this time I noticed it directly after we had sports, and I became suspicious. I thought that maybe someone was stealing from me and to test my theory I came up with a plan: For the next lesson where we would have sports I would put another 10€ in my wallet, then before I would leave the locker room I would start up my cellphone camera put my wallet on top of it.

So if someone would pick up my wallet I would hear his voice and probably even see his face. I also asked two friends to make audio recordings as a backup.

Then on that faithful Friday morning at 10:05, I left the locker room as planned. One hour later I came back and who would have seen it coming, the 10€ went missing. During the break, I checked the recordings and I saw two classmates stealing from me, we weren’t close, we spoke bearly but I still was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t even trust my own classmates (I had my suspicions about one of them before I caught him on camera though. He stole a towel from another locker once because he forgot his own).

But that isn’t even the best part, because they stole 10€ from me it doesn’t mean that they stole the other 40€. But when I listen to the Audiofiles the Towelguy confesses on Video that he stole the other 40€ from me too. At that point I died from laughter, I had my concerns with this working out but this was just perfect

So I contacted the main teacher, told him the story and he contacted the directorate. The vice-director told me to give him the evidence, which I did. Then the two got detention and nothing happened for a week. Then the vice-director contacts me if I want to attend a class council. (Class Council is when you have messed up big time and you have to explain yourself in front of a council and they decide if you get kicked out, a bit like a trial) I declined because my whole statement was the email I send them with what I’m telling you guys right now.

The day after I find out that the towel guy gets kicked out and I got my money back.

So what do we learn: never trust anyone Hope you enjoyed my little CSI Story” LiquidCooled_I9

4. Tell Me I Don’t Know How To Run A Business? I’m Turning You Down For A Job

Never disrespect who might just be your future employer.

“I had never really put much stock into college courses, as I had always been pretty content with my life. I spent 8 years in the Army reserve, worked entry-level security jobs, and eventually wound up in construction (Garages in particular). I loved construction! I loved the freedom of being outdoors, being active, and I was actually really good at what I did.

Eventually, I moved into the Chicago area and started at the bottom of the employment totem pole. However, I was able to move into a property management position within a couple of years. I was hired by a big box chain store (won’t name which one, but their uniform is red) back in 2015 to oversee one of the newer properties. It was mostly just maintaining the upkeep of the physical building, making repairs, and organizing any of our outside contracted vendors for work that I could not perform myself.

Now there was one particular manager that was so notoriously hard to work with, I had co-workers from other locations warning me about her before I even knew what location I would be assigned to.

We will call her Karen. Karen is originally from one of those small Eastern European/Western Asian countries, and has this story about moving to the US and worked herself out of poverty…she came to the US when she was 5…and went to a private school…

Anyway, she always had that giant ego of somehow being better than everyone else. The first few months were fine, but then she started micromanaging. I’ll keep this part really short, but she eventually became verbally abusive and condescending to the point I filed several harassment complaints against her which never went anywhere (found out later that management really didn’t care as Karen was producing above and beyond her metrics-at least on paper. As long as she was productive, corporate just turned a blind eye).

The straw that broke the camel’s back though, was when I was written up for using the wrong broom….that’s right, the wrong ….BROOM. I had completed my daily workload and wanted to kill some time before my shift ended, so I just thought I’d sweep up the stock room with one of those wide dust mops. Karen told me I had to use one of the little hand brooms and dustpans to sweep…the entire stock room…because “It’s more efficient.”

I thought she was joking and kept using the big dust mop to push everything directly into the trash compactor…It took 15 minutes to sweep the entire stockroom. Karen apparently saw this and gave me a final written warning the next day…yes, I was given a formal written warning for using the wrong broom.

She went on this long rant about I’m supposed to do exactly as I am told because her ways are superior to mine because she is educated, and I would never be able to understand why her ways are better than mine, so I should blindly do what is asked of me at all times. Then she said the words that still ring in my ears today. She concluded the write-up interview by telling me, “You just don’t understand how a business works, so leave that to the real managers.”

Whatever, lol.

What nobody else knew at the time, as I was planning on starting a small business because I had enough of Karen’s ***, and corporate doing nothing about it. I quit without warning shortly after the “Broom” incident.

I was very proficient at construction, specifically with garages, so I pulled some contacts, and started up business in late 2018. Now I still don’t have a college degree, but I took specific courses like basic accounting, economics, pretty much enough to learn so I am not paying for services I could do myself.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago. Business had initially started out slow, but after working my a** off to build my reputation, I’ve somehow managed to get near-perfect reviews on pretty much every platform (total of close to 65 reviews in the first year). Although the first 3 months were REALLY slow (only $4k in total revenue), the last 9 months really took off (cleared a total of over $200k for the year), and now I was ready to create my first job postings!!! YAY!!!

I created two jobs.

One for an entry-level labor position (helping me at job sites, and one front desk/account manager job (take phone calls, set appointments, organize product delivery, etc.)

Unbeknownst to me at the time, was Karen was actually fired from her management position, and had gotten a couple of other similar positions with a few other companies, but it looks like she was always fired within a year of starting.

Somehow she decided to apply for my front desk position. Maybe she thought it would be a for sure hire because she knew me? Anyway, I almost put her resume directly into the shredder….but i realized an opportunity to put an absolute lunatic in her place. I called I feigned pleasantries and schedule her interview.

She comes in, we chat, I ask the standard interview questions, then I offer her a job.

Me: Well you are the most qualified applicant yet for this position, Can you start on Monday?

Karen: Wow…um yes! Thank you so much!

Me: Great, starting pay is the minimum wage for the first few months until you feel comfortable doing service calls and repairs on your own.

Karen: *Blank stare, looking confused* Oh, I thought the starting salary was $25/hr, and that it was a desk job?

Me: Ah, that is the front desk position I am hiring for, I am interviewing people this afternoon for that position.

Karen: I thought that’s the position I applied for.

Me: Yes it was, but you don’t qualify for that position. After speaking to all of your former employers, it is quite clear that “You don’t understand how businesses work.” So, as you can see, I can’t afford to have you attempt to run the front half of MY business.

The entry-level position is yours if you still want it though.

If you have never seen anyone “angrily” scurry away…it’s quite funny.” armyguy1987

 

3. I “Stole” An Entitled Police Officer’s Pizza

“My office space is near several different restaurants where I live so usually for lunch it’s pretty easy to get your hands on whatever you’re craving and today I was craving pizza.

There’s a small pizza shop a few minutes walk away that serves some delicious single slices as well as wings so I decided to head over there.

It was a little later than my usual lunch hour but surprisingly there were still a lot of people in line and most of them were ordering single slices. I stood in line but a little off to the side as I don’t like standing directly behind or too close to people as I tend to fidget a lot and that when a young police officer I noticed as someone who just recently joined the force just a few years younger than me (I’m 25) came and stood directly beside me.

I didn’t think much of it as my biggest concern was that the single slices on display were going fast… everything but the veggie pizza which barely anyone orders.

As we got closer and closer the slices started dwindling until it came down to 2 slices of ham, 2 slices of pepperoni and the veggie. I stepped up to make my order when the officer stepped directly next to me and stared at me out the corner of his eye as he loudly ordered one slice of the ham and pepperoni.

I don’t know exactly what came over me, I guess just the stress of work and a young man feeling he can throw around his authority. I said as loud as I could “WHO THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THAT U CAN JUST CUT THE LINE? I KNOW YOU CAME IN HERE AND SAW ME.”

Everyone stared dumbfounded as the cop just stood their jaw open.

I sucked my teeth and forcefully pushed my way directly in front of him and then stared at him dead in the face before ordering both slices of ham and pepperoni and the last of the wings they had prepared.

The lady looked uncertain at first but since I reached into my wallet and pulled out exact cash for what I wanted I made it look like that was the order I had in mind all along. I even asked her to separate the slices and the chicken so it looked like I was collecting for myself and another person so she just shrugged and plated the food for me.

I triumphantly smiled at the officer and walked away. It was a small hit to my budget, but honestly, it was totally worth it knowing that guy wasn’t going to get any slices he wanted unless he waited on the next batch to be prepared.” kansas908

2. We Purposely Didn’t Wake Our Toxic Friend Up, So She’d Be Late To Class

You snooze, you lose.

“There’s this friend of mine who’s kinda toxic.

She always leeches off people who’ve already taken certain quizzes and tests for answers and is SUPER PUSHY about it. If you’re having a conversation with someone she will demand that you stop your conversation to spend time telling her about what’s on the quiz for her. But then if you try to ask her anything about quizzes she’ll be like, “Sorry I’m not gonna help you cheat.” And in general, she just seems to use people for this purpose and pretty much ignores anyone who isn’t a super close friend or isn’t useful to her in this aspect.

Yesterday I got slightly more annoyed at her than usual. During the passing period, I just asked her if the math quiz that she took the period before me was difficult.

She says she failed because there were trick questions on it and seemed kinda p*ssed about it. Then says she is not gonna tell me anything about the quiz because it’s cheating (even though she does it all the time), then tells all her friends who also took it to not tell me anything. Another classmate tried to tell me about the quiz and she aggressively yelled at them to not tell me.

I was a little p*ssed bc last semester she had math the period after me and I let her leech off me several times (back then I didn’t really realize she was that toxic so I always told her about test questions, let her copy off my homework right before class started, tutored her a few times, she was just lazy…. shes the kind of person who doesn’t study but then gets mad when failing a test).

I would think that she would at least be a little nicer to me.

I mean like it’s fine if you don’t want to tell people about test questions yourself if you’re seriously worried about getting caught for assisting cheaters.. but if you try to control what other people do and go that far to make sure I fail too… then it seems kinda suspicious. Honestly, lowkey think it’s possible she’s just jealous because I usually get good math grades while she doesn’t, one time I got a good grade on a test everyone failed and she seemed especially jealous about it.

Anyways, another friend and I  in my friend group were a bit annoyed at her for this and in general were already starting to get annoyed at her from the beginning of this semester since she was such a leech.

Today we hung out in the student council room while waiting for lunch to start. There’s a comfy couch in the room. We sit there and go on our phones and stuff, a toxic friend falls asleep on the couch. Lunch starts like 15 minutes later. We decide to leave without waking her up on purpose so that she’ll either wake up really confused as to where everyone else went or be late to class.

At the end of lunch, we found out that she woke up feeling extremely confused, got yelled at by a student council member who kicked her out, and she was soooooo p*ssed as she was almost late to her AP class. It’s a really mild form of revenge but I found her anger and confusion to be quite satisfying.

And also, I ended up figuring out the trick questions on the math quiz and aced it” myanonalias

1. Hate My T-Shirt Design? You’ll Be Wearing It For The Next Two Years

“When I was in secondary school, I had a classmate, let’s call her Julia. Julia decided at the start of the year that she was good at art. It didn’t matter that she was actually bad. If she thinks she’s good, everyone must have the same opinion as her and think that she’s good.

Towards the end of the year, our class decided to create unofficial class shirts. Take note of this: my school requires us to wear our school uniforms every day, except for certain events where we would wear official school designed cotton shirts under our pinafores.

Even then, it’s still our uniform. If you don’t want to wear the official shirt on that day, you can wear the full school uniform instead, which is a collared short sleeve shirt under the pinafore. Looks neat, but not as comfortable as the shirts. Class shirts can’t be worn in school. At most, they are cringy shirts destined to be worn at home as sleeping clothes.

At first, my class picked me to design the class shirt. I was the artsy kid in class that always doodled during lessons. While I always scored A+ for Art and drew in my free time, I’ve never designed a shirt. In a class that focused mostly on science subjects, it still made sense to get me to design the shirt.

Julia disagreed.

For some reason, Julia had beef with almost everyone in the class for different reasons, including me. She had this nature deep inside her to outcompete everyone and win every argument. And she focused 100% of that energy into ‘winning’ the role to design the class shirt. She threw up a fuss so large in class that we just gave in and let her design it (and choose the t-shirt printing supplier). When I offered to help her in the process she turned around and said: “I will never wear something you’ve drawn.” Ok.

The shirt came out bad. The shirt quality was flimsy and translucent, not good for a class full of 14-year-old girls. The printing comes out after a few washes in the washing machine.

The design, oh God the design. The front was a picture of a cartoon carton of milk that she ripped off the internet. The back had a Japanese word that no one could read, where the meaning was apparently “Ohana means family” which I’m quite sure is a Hawaiian word. Julia was smug that she made me get a shirt with her design.

One month later, we were separated into different art classes based on our choices. When I heard that the teachers were picking the best design from a certain class for the next official camp shirt, I immediately signed myself up. Julia decided to skip those classes and sleep in our form classroom. After a few weeks, I submitted my final design and it was chosen to be printed on the next official camp shirt.

As much as I wanted to tell other people, I kept it a secret to surprise Julia.

On the last day of our 3D2N camp, the teachers gave us our shirts. People were glad that the design had improved from previous teacher-designed shirts. Julia said it was the prettiest official shirt so far. We wore it for the rest of the day to do physical activities. At the end of the day, the teachers revealed that it was actually a student-designed shirt, and told the whole cohort to clap for me. Among the cheers, I saw Julia’s shocked face.

That’s not the end of the story. For the next two years, we would be asked to wear the camp shirt for class outings and casual days.

Julia had the option to refuse my shirt and wear our full uniform instead. But no one wanted to wear a stuffy uniform to the zoo, or in a crowded public area, so she turns up in the camp shirt every time. I’ve never been so glad to receive stink eyes in my life.

Furthermore, my successful design gave my teachers the confidence to let me design another camp shirt and FINALLY, a year later, my class shirt. They also started to trust other students to design future official school shirts, but not Julia.

Note: if you think that no one would be that stupidly ambitious at 14 years old, this happened in an all-girls school that treat school leadership positions like the Netflix 2019 show The Politician.” steponalegobrick

I’m all for treating others with kindness, but sometimes people need to be put in their place! Which small revenge story was your favorite from this list?