People Admit The Sinful Ways They Lied
37. It Started When My Partner Would Visit Me Just To Smoke
“I was a freshman in college, still going out with my high school partner who was back home working because he didn’t want to go to college. He smoked a lot of stuff, but he was a nice guy. He was my “first” but he didn’t really ever care about my needs and wants.
I was young enough to not understand that not all guys are that way. When I moved into my dorm, I met a guy on my floor who was my roommate’s friend from high school in another state and we hit it off pretty much immediately and became really good friends. My high school partner would visit every other weekend or so with his friend, and we would do things around town with a couple of my roommates or this friend.
Being a smoker, my high school partner would always want to smoke with his friend while he was visiting, and I don’t smoke. So essentially every weekend he visited eventually became a routine of him arriving, us having terrible hookups, and then he would go smoke with his friend and come back, then we would go out and eat dinner, see a movie, or whatever.
He was emotionally distant, and it got to a point where I felt like he was only in the relationship for the naughty component and that he loved smoking his stuff more than he loved me. I turned to the guy I had met from my floor who was now a good friend for advice, he came and sat with me in my dorm room while we both drank and I ranted, and we ended up sleeping together.
It was the first time that I enjoyed hooking up with another person, ever.
I point blank asked my high school partner the next day if he was serious about this relationship at all, and when he gave some crap excuse, I dumped him. I’ve never told him that I saw someone else. I’m still with the guy I left him for, 5 years later, and we live together and plan on getting engaged once I finish grad school.
36. It Started When My Man Didn't Treat Me Right
“I was friends with this guy, we’ll call him Trevor, for a long time. 4 or 5 years. He’s 3 years younger than me, when we first met (at work) I was 19 and he was 16. I always thought he was cute but the age difference at that time was too much.
When I was 23 and he was getting ready to turn 21, it didn’t seem so bad. We’d been hanging out a lot and we’re both single.
One night I told him I was confused about our friendship and had feelings for him. I thought he wouldn’t be interested, but he was. We kissed right before he left and decided to see where things would take us.
The next night he came over and was acting weird. He eventually said he was too scared to lose me, to risk our friendship. I told him to get the heck out, I was angry, hurt, and embarrassed. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t just tell me no the first time.
We stopped hanging out for a few weeks, then he begged for my forgiveness.
I had truly missed him too and thought I would be okay with being just friends with him.
A few weeks later, I started hanging out with a new group of guys. One of them, Matt, eventually made a move on me and we started being intimate. He said he didn’t want a relationship. I told him that was fine. Matt and Trevor had already met through me and our whole friend group hung out a lot.
I told Trevor about Matt. He seemed upset and another friend mentioned that Trevor had asked if Matt and I were serious.
After about a month of just hooking up, Matt told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. I didn’t say it back but I agreed to be his significant other.
Matt was not the world’s best partner.
Two days after being official I saw website notifications on his phone. We talked about it and he said that was from when we weren’t official. Okay fair enough. He deleted it.
We went out with friends to a club. A girl showed up who I had used to work with, who was very flirty. She became attached to our group. I warned Matt about her and asked him to give her a wide berth.
I went to the bathroom and when I came back, she had her arm around him and he was exchanging Snapchat names with her. What the heck? My friend Harry who was with us also told me that Matt had danced with another girl when I was gone as well. Matt later denied this and told me to call Harry and ask. Harry again confirmed that Matt had danced with another girl.
One night he was getting snaps from someone who he identified as an ex. I told him I was uncomfortable with that and he made the choice to delete her. Except he kept getting snaps from her. I saw there was a saved convo from a few days before we were exclusive, telling her he missed her. I attempted to break up with him then, but he begged me for forgiveness so I forgave him.
He also would constantly stare at other girls to the point where I’d become very insecure. Not just a glance, I’m talking he wouldn’t even make eye contact with me while we were having a conversation because he was being so creepy. One night, it was so bad I again tried to break up with him but he said he would change.
Trevor, Harry, and I went out together about 5 months into my relationship with Matt.
Trevor confessed that he was in love with me, he couldn’t stand how Matt was treating me. He said when he’d changed his mind before he’d been struggling with an Adderall problem and he was scared he was going to mess everything up. Honestly, I’d never really gotten over my feelings for him. We got together that night and it just felt right.
I broke up with Matt the next day.
It was hard, I felt terrible about not being honest with him. He fought the breakup for weeks after. He did everything he could to get me back, including saying he was planning on proposing.
Trevor and I are still together, almost two years later and we’re doing great. Initially, we had a lot of problems stemming from how we got together. I was scared he’d change his mind.
He was scared I would do to him what I did to Matt. If I could go back and never go out with Matt, I would. Or at least have broken up with him one of the many times I tried to before we actually ended. And I still feel crappy about it because, despite how terrible of a partner he was, no one deserves to be lied to.
So if you’re in a relationship that’s unhappy to the point that you’d lie and make poor decisions, or you have feelings for someone else… just get out. You are not trapped, even if it feels like it.”
35. It Started During My Brother's Wedding
“My partner was unfaithful (not with me) to get out of an abusive relationship.
She was going out with this guy who was awful to her. I know what most people think when they read this, ‘why don’t you leave him?’ It’s not that easy, especially when you’re loyal and just want to work things out (she also has no one else).
Anyways, I was her friend during the time she was seeing this moron, but then she started talking to another guy while he was at boot camp. Just friendly. They ended up having a fling and she finally got the courage to leave the abusive butthead. Now she’s with butthead #2 and to be honest it was a whole ball of trust issues. She needed to be alone but again didn’t want to leave him because he helped her leave idiot #1.
He ended up getting her pregnant then breaking up with her. Then got back with her, convinced her to end her pregnancy, then dumped her the day she did it.
I was there for her through all of that, she even slept at my house the night before and the day of her big life decision. We started hanging out a lot after that and one thing led to another and I kissed her the night of my brother’s wedding.
I have gotten her to see a psychiatrist (which has helped major), leave her shifty job, and get braces (she’s older but her teeth make her self esteem drop)
Anyways, I’ve never been treated the way she treats me, and the same for her. I am still showing her how she should be treated but she acts like I am a saint because I don’t get mad at her when she wants to ‘talk about something that bothered me.’ I’m showing her how it SHOULD be.”
34. It Started When I Realized I Married The Wrong Man
“The guy I had my ‘affair’ with was my childhood sweetheart and I guess in a lot of ways it didn’t feel like an affair because I was so convinced that we were meant to be. One day we would be.
Rewind a decade prior and 16-year-old me has caught the eye of 24-year-old him – several years after heavy crushing. We went out for a year.
I gave him my heart and he ‘deflowered’ me. We started talking about marriage and I go away for a 3-month vacation. I come back and there are rumors surrounding him and my best friend. I dump them both. I move on. I flit in and out of relationships leaving before anything gets heavy.
I get married to an abusive jerk who I knew less than 6 months into our marriage.
He was regularly ‘seeing’ a work colleague and his so-called best friend (who he now lives with). This is in no way an excuse. My ex-husband was a nasty person. He would pinch me for laughing out in public and yet threaten to hurt me (and done it on a couple of occasions) if I wasn’t happy enough with him in front of friends and family.
I was stuck in this emotionally draining relationship for 3 years and put on 25 kilos. I was on antidepressants for 5 years and started getting anxiety attacks when anyone spoke or looked at me. I was a prisoner of my own mind. And that’s a very scary prison to break free from because every single one of your choices and your fears haunts you before you even begin to think about breaking free.
My ex had got married. I see him at a mutual friend’s wedding and we exchange numbers. We go out for coffee and spend several hours chatting. At this point, my reason for going was to finally get closure on the past. We did that. Discussed our unhappy marriages. And somewhere that night my what-if moment came. What if I had given him a chance to make amends, would we both have been so unhappy?
Would we have married? Would we have made it through the hard times together?
That night he texts me. I agreed to one final coffee. He told me he was still very much in love with me and laid it down for me. His words were ‘I want you. I’ll get a divorce in a couple of years. And so will you. And we’ll do it properly this time around.’ I believed him.
And that day we kissed. We spent 3 years together. The first year and a half was a dream. I would see him three-plus times a week after or before work (extreme shift worker and my now ex-husband was out of the house up to 18 hours a day). My confidence improved because he listened to me. My love grew because he found me hot. My self-worth grew because he acknowledged me.
Don’t get me wrong, the day after I would see him I would be paralyzed in fear, if my ex-husband ever saw us I am too terrified to think what he might have done. I also felt guilt because his wife was a lovely woman and I didn’t want to be the homewrecker I was.
I upped and left my ex-husband exactly 1.5 y after my affair and 3 years after my marriage because I couldn’t take the fear of not knowing if I was getting hurt or the silent treatment or if he would even attempt to seriously do something bad to me.
He was my drug. Then his ex-wife found a naughty pic on his phone with ‘I love you’ written on it.
He told her he would end it with me. And our communication from then on was by email. The emails and the meet-ups got fewer. I went and studied. I found new ways of occupying my time. But nothing could make me give him up.
I wanted us to live together and have children together. He was my start, my middle, and my end.
So fast forward to the end of 2016 and I finally had enough. After 5 weeks of silence and 3 months since I last saw him. Something inside me snapped and I came to the realization it would never get better. I’d spent a year and a half hiding from my friends and saying no to meeting men because I’d become a mistress (with no perks may I add!).
So I gave him an ultimatum to choose. He asked me for a little more time. I walked away for good that day. I met with people on the internet. Had some amazing hookups. And met my fiancé (who knows very little of my past) and we get married in 4 months.
I would never have considered myself as being a two-timer, since I was once deceived. But only time and circumstances come to tell who and what you are.
Do I regret it? Yes. Enough that my husband will never know the truth. But no because if he didn’t come back in my life I certainly wouldn’t be alive to relay this. My ex gave me my confidence back. He made me realize I should never give up on myself. But I also know I will never be alone in his company again, because if he put all my self-belief and my morals to the test, then I’d failed that test before.
Nothing will jeopardize who I am to me ever again. Thanks for reading this. I needed to get it off my chest.”
33. It Started When My Partner Was Unsure Of Me
“Me and my significant other were 23. We were in a long-distance relationship while I attended grad school. We attended undergrad together on the East Coast, and he had moved back to the west coast – I went to school in the midwest to be closer to him, but I couldn’t afford the schools I got into on the west coast. We were going on five years together.
I was trying hard to make friends, so I joined a meetup group for a sport I play. I wasn’t looking for a relationship – I loved my significant other. The affairee asked me if I wanted to be partners in a more competitive league, and I was excited to be making friends in this new place and for the opportunity to have a fun extracurricular activity while in school.
So I accepted.
The affairee was pretty open about having a crush on me within a couple of weeks of our meeting, despite knowing about my relationship. I would explain that I was taken, that I loved my partner, that my significant other was looking for a job in the midwest to move close to me, and that I wanted us to grow old together.
But things quickly took a nosedive. When I asked my partner how the job search was going, I was informed that there was no job search. I asked my significant other if things were okay if we were going to get married one day. My significant other told me that it was too uncertain to answer – anything could happen while I was in grad school.
These were not the answers I expected, and I was getting frustrated. There was this person who liked me, who was attractive, who liked a lot of the same things I liked, and who was present. I was so lonely. I missed my partner. But this was hurting…it felt like it was ending. I told the affairee that things were getting hard, that I might need to end it.
I shouldn’t have revealed that, but at this time, the affairee was still the only person I really talked to in my new home.
One night, after playing some pickup games, the affairee and I are watching a movie at the affairee’s place. I fall asleep. I wake up to the affairee making a move on me, and I don’t stop it. I go with it.
Then we’re past the point of no return. I felt terrible. I broke it off with my significant other the next day without explaining why. I went out with the affairee for over two years. It was a terrible relationship. The affairee turned out to be borderline emotionally abusive, and I often wanted to get out, but I think I was so desperate for my heinous act to have been ‘worth it.’ There wasn’t a day that didn’t go by where I wouldn’t think about what I did.
And about once a month, I would just break down and call one of two close confidants about it, telling them how I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to get past what I did. When the relationship with the affairee finally ended, for the first time, I was able to make peace with what happened. I think I put so much pressure on myself to make things with the affairee work because of how the new relationship started, and I think until that point, I maybe felt like I deserved to be in a bad relationship for what I did.
My significant other and I were in contact again for a brief time a few months after the affair, and I confessed about what happened. I regretted coming clean about it almost as much as the act itself – I should have just kept it to myself and swallowed the guilt. There was no reason for me to confess except that I needed forgiveness. I got my forgiveness (my significant other was a better person than I), but I stabbed someone in the heart to get it, and that was selfish and unfair.
The ‘unfaithfulness’ happened four years ago. There is not a day that I don’t think about my ex-significant other. If I’m being honest, I think it probably would not have worked out anyway, but I still regret how it ended and hurting someone I loved. I’m single and a little lonely sometimes, but after my relationship with the affairee, I just want to make friends (I am somewhat reclusive, but working on branching out…being in a borderline abusive relationship makes it harder to make friends) and focus on work.
I think I’ve forgiven myself for what I did. Sometimes I still get this feeling of self-loathing and guilt in the pit of my stomach. But I just try to do my best to be a good person going forward, and hopefully one day I will be.”
32. It Started When I Wanted To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship
“I was in a relationship that was trending downward. I had no life, it was just: work, baby, argue, rinse/repeat.
I was put down so badly, I didn’t even consider myself a human being anymore. But I thought I had to make it through, stick with it because that’s what my mom did for 30 years. We all lived in such a terrible environment. So to me, this was normal. Even though I had hysterical breakdowns.
Then one day, I snapped. I went online to find friends.
All I wanted was a friend to talk to, and I knew I couldn’t have a real-life person friend, it had to be the internet. But I also wanted the temptation of knowing that if I made a friend, they could be close by.
Me being naive, I went on an ‘adult friend finder’ website. Haahaa
I had found someone genuine and caring, and healthy.
And they helped make me feel like maybe I could be a person. And romantic feelings quickly developed.
I gathered up enough courage to leave. It wasn’t easy, very messy. There’s still a whole bunch of kinks that need to be worked out.
I live alone with my daughter, but the ex gets my baby (now 3, she was 1 when this happened) while I work during the day, and gets 2 overnights every week.
Everyone always tells me I should file for child support, but I just can’t. The thought of it makes me want to throw up from nervousness. I don’t want to be in the same room as that guy, asking for money he won’t even give out for our kid. He’d rather spend it on illegal substances. But I just can’t. He scares me too much.
But otherwise, I still have a healthy happy relationship with the person I met on the internet! It’s a relationship like no other I’ve had. We’re so open and honest with each other. There are still speed bumps, but I would never expect perfection. He’s an absolute dream working with my kid! I’m glad I was unfaithful, so I could get out of my living nightmare and start feeling like a human again!”
31. It Started When My Friend's Sister Came Home
“When I was in senior year of high school, I had an affair with one of my friend’s older sisters. I had been in a relationship with a girl at my school for like six months, and while I liked her a lot, I wasn’t crazy about her like she was for me.
While I was at my friend’s house playing video games, his sister (who was 19) comes in from the gym and checks in on us. The last time I had seen her was like a year beforehand when she left for college, and she had become a 10/10. She was really playful and flirty, and for some reason, I could tell she found me attractive.
Next time I go to my friend’s house, his mum calls from work and wants him to buy some groceries.
I’m alone with his sister and we start talking. Things get really flirty and playful until we start kissing. Eventually, we went up to her room and hooked up. When my friend came home, we pretended nothing happened. A couple of hours later, when my dad came to pick me up, I was saying goodbye when she casually whispered in my ear that we should do it again before she left.
It was only three hours later that I felt any guilt. I should have confessed, but instead carried on an affair for the rest of the summer. I was hooked to this girl and was being a complete jerk to my significant other. We eventually broke up near the end of senior year for unrelated reasons, but a part of me still feels guilty eight years later.”
30. It Started When My High School Friend Messaged Me
“At the time I was a 34-year-old male. I’m still a masculine male but a few years have passed since the incident which would change my life forever.
I had the perfect family – it felt like that to me. I had been faithful and together with my partner for 14 years. We had two wonderful kids, a nice house, a good job, and amazing social contacts.
There was never any doubt in my mind that this was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.
She was my first significant other and I never had any other experience. Prior to that, I was the awkward teenager nobody would go out with or come close to.
My partner was never very much into physical touch. Always very cold and more business-like.
For me that’s the only thing I knew, we did hook up but it was never spontaneous and very short. When kissing her she would have enough after 1-2 kisses and push me away.
All in all – it was a total package. She was an amazing person and sacrificed a lot of things for her family. I figured I was happy as nothing is perfect.
I would always get a bit jealous when any female friend would say that they find their partner ‘hot’. I never heard that from my partner. I so much wish she would crave me at times.
One day out of the blue, a girl from high school started messaging me on the Book of Faces. This was the hottest girl in the whole school back in the days.
While we only communicated with messenger she started to give me attention. It started innocently with her saying what a great guy I was. It was slowly escalating to how she thought I was cute, good-looking, and then into the ‘hot’ territory.
My confidence got such a boost – I was on clouds. We had only been chatting but at that point, I realized I had now gone behind my partner’s back emotionally.
It was only messaging but it was time to tell my partner and end this. As much as I liked the comments and appreciation from my old high school friend – I’m not breaking up a family because of this.
I straight up told my partner that this high school friend was interested in me. I explained that I thought it had gone a bit too far and told her she can access all our texts/messages.
Afterward, I realize how stupid I was. I was using my high school friend to make my current partner jealous. So she would finally be the passionate girl I was looking for.
My partner just responded ‘I don’t care. I don’t want to know what you are doing.’ I didn’t know what to do with this response. I tried all sorts of ways to get her to notice me.
I went into overdrive trying to please her, maybe then she would say that she thinks I’m ‘hot’? Well, lesson learned – it didn’t help.
In the meantime, the girl from high school kept messaging me. She kept feeding me exactly what I wanted to hear. A few weeks later, we rented a weekend hotel and met up. I had never experienced passion like that in my life.
It opened up my eyes, for the first time I actually felt wanted. When we departed from the hotel I told the girl, it’s over – I’m not leaving my family for this. She got very upset and left and I cried. I cried for the first time since I was a teenager. I was so in love with her, but it couldn’t continue.
My partner never found out about that weekend.
I came home settled on making sure I don’t break the family. In the end, it turned out that my partner had already planned on leaving me. I tried for a whole year to avoid having a broken family. Even though my partner never knew about my escapades, I could not convince her to stay. She moved out and years of custody battles for the children started.
Do I regret being unfaithful? Difficult to say. I wish my family wasn’t broken and my children could have mom and dad with them above all else. My partner would’ve left either way. I’m a bit sad that I didn’t go through life the way I wanted – faithful and with the only girl I married. At the same time, the girl from high school made me feel things I didn’t know were possible.
Since the breakup, I’ve had loads of passion. I’ve met some great women and bonded in ways I could never have imagined. Despite this, there is not one day that goes by that I don’t wish… that my children had the stable family I wanted to give them.”
29. It Started When She Wanted To Rub My Beard On Her Skin
“I was the other guy in a 2+ year-long affair. She was married and still is. No happy ending for me at least.
Former work associates, we’d hung out a few times and just watched TV/movies, smoked, drank but nothing happened for a long time. I had an emotional and physical attraction to her, and the feeling was mutual. But we never crossed a line.
One time at a party she got too intoxicated and since I was her ride, we both stayed there, in a spare bed together. Honestly, I wanted the intimacy of being close to somebody, and I wanted to make sure she didn’t get sick in her sleep. I didn’t do anything, and neither did she. Nothing happened that night.
We hung out a week or so later, and she said she had liked my beard rubbing against her, and then asked me to do it again.
This progressed over days to more cuddling, then I kissed her. It was awesome.
Then it progressed. I declined at first (really) but then we went all the way. Then again, and again.
She explained sometime after this that at the beginning she was feeling distant from her husband, he was pushing her to have kids and, according to her, being a jerk. I wasn’t that guy.
It ended up in a minor argument and she asked if I wanted to break up, I said I wasn’t certain, so she dumped me instead.”
28. It Started When I Was Going Through A Nasty Divorce
“My ex-husband and I were probably never meant to be, we were young and dumb and not looking ahead, we married. 3 years and a kid later, I was miserable and he couldn’t understand why. I saw the handwriting on the wall, he didn’t.
We were not on the same path, had very different goals.
We separated and tried marriage counseling which didn’t help. I started seeing someone else during this separation period. We had already discussed divorce but yes, we were still married.
The new guy I started seeing was 5 years older than me and we just clicked. I could finally be myself and as we discussed our aspirations and goals I could see that he was someone who was much more aligned with where I wanted to go and would be supportive instead of bringing me down, like my ex.
I am happy to say that I divorced my ex and am still with the guy I met. We have been together for 6 years now. We married 3 years ago this August. We are life partners, soul mates. We see eye to eye on all the big important stuff in life. My life has changed drastically for the better in the last 6 years. I have accomplished dreams that never would have happened with my ex.
We just weren’t right for each other.
The ex and I had a very nasty divorce and a rough few years. It took a long time to tolerate each other’s existence. He was very angry and hurt by the breakup and reacted poorly causing a rift that took years to heal. I worked diligently to keep our daughter from feeling the tension or being harmed by the negativity.
She is an amazing child, so I’d say I succeeded. New husband is an amazing stepdad.
So, it has all worked out for me, but there was a lot of pain and suffering along the way. Was it still worth it? Yes. Oh my god, yes.”
27. It Started When My Husband And I Didn't Know How To Live Together
“Was with a guy for about 1.5 years. Rushed everything. Engaged super quick then married. Only lived with each other for a couple of months before we tied the knot. Thought everything was perfect; what could go wrong?
Well, we had different work schedules and clearly did not know how to live with one another. I started hanging out more with our mutual best friend (we’ll call him Dave).
Mind you, I never looked at our friend in any other way besides a friend. As time went on my significant other and I fought about literally everything. Every time we would try to ‘talk’ and work things out stuff would just hit the fan. It came to a point where I was not emotionally invested in the relationship anymore. I started venting to ‘Dave’ and he became my emotional support.
Not only that but Dave and I had a lot in common, hence why we were such close friends in the first place. As the emotions got stronger, we became more physical and well, I’m sure you can figure out the rest.
After a while, my significant other got suspicious and snooped through my phone and found sketchy messages, nothing that explicitly gave it away but a strong enough hint to where he confronted me.
I admitted to it… to everything. I can’t describe the pain I felt seeing him so distraught and broken. It was the worst feeling.
By no means am I justifying anything… but part of me thinks I was trying to escape reality. This was a clear sign that I was not ready for the rushed relationship I was in. How could I do that to someone I supposedly love?
I think what made it worse is that I acted deceitful emotionally and physically. I think once emotions get involved it becomes a more serious offense. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I still regret everything to this day but I also learned valuable lessons during all of this.”
26. It Started When We Sat Next To Each Other On Every Ride
“I was a sophomore in high school and I was going out with the valedictorian, she had a star GPA, was in choir and theatre, cute as heck, and I could talk with her for HOURS. Being in the band program, a lot of the people I went out with also happened to be in the band program one way or another, so when I started going out, we’ll call her B, I got mixed responses.
A couple of kids said I was only going out with her to get out of the band program and I was using her and blah whatever high school crap you can think. The others were really supportive as previous partners were a bit nutty.
ANYWAYS there was an individual who I thought was a female best friend, someone I could come to with all my problems and just talk to when stuff gets heavy.
She was 2 years older than me (a senior in the beginning) and she too was cute as heck. She and I were teachers’ assistants together where we basically sat in a back office and made copies every once in a blue moon. We were jokingly flirty, and I was trying to hook her up with an acquaintance so I figured nothing dumb would happen. She kinda started making moves toward me, super subtle stuff.
Talking more than usual, sitting near me more often, just being around a lot. B wasn’t suspicious, in fact, she was really supportive and happy that I had other friends and such, and in the end, that’s what ended up breaking my heart the most.
It was about September, and other kids that have gone through band know that’s the beginning of contest season, and we sat next to each other on every ride.
In the back. Where you know darn well what happens back there. That’s the beginning of it, and this continued for a few months. We took a trip to New York together, and that’s where we hooked up for the first time, and it just got more and more. After a while, I was living 2 lives, one with B, and one with the affair.
B ended up finding out.
Because the affairee SENT HER SCREENSHOTS OF CONVERSATIONS WE HAD. It didn’t occur to me until recently that there’s only one way that could have happened, but needless to say, B left in a hurry. I continued to ‘go out’ with the affair girl for a while though because I thought I was happy.
Complications happened, and I ended up not being able to talk to her for a month, which wasn’t as bad as I thought it was at the time, but during that month, I didn’t see anyone else.
I had a fling to get here, but lying and being dishonest to get out feels low (like having a tryst wasn’t low enough??). Once I could talk again, it felt different, but I ignored it as I assume it was just nerves that it would happen again.
I suspected something was happening around December of last year. She was over at a ‘friend’s’ house a lot, and around January, she left. She swore up and down it wasn’t for him, but lo and behold, they were going out less than 48 hours later.
I found out later she had been with him behind my back for about 3 months before she left.”
25. It Started When My Partner Help Financial Interest Over Me
“My partner at the time held financial interest over me and made it so I couldn’t leave without losing many prized possessions.
What happened? I hooked up with someone who I didn’t expect to fall in love with. I made it blatantly obvious in hopes that my partner would break up with me.
My partner found my computer unlocked, opened it on the Book of Faces with the girl recently added as a friend. (Coincidence??) – She found her number, harassed her, called me at work (at like 5 am) and harrassed me, and told me to get home.
After everything, she begged me to stay. I had no way of controlling my financial interest which she also threatened me with and I ended up staying for this reason.
FAST-FORWARD TO 1.5 years later. I’m currently seeing the girl I was unfaithful to my partner with because I was so in love after the first time we went out. I am incredibly infatuated with her and can’t believe she actually accepted me back into her life (given the circumstances) and is giving me a chance to see her.
I’ve never been happier and I want this to last forever.
Just to clarify, I broke up with my partner about a year later (after acquiring financial interest on my property), messaged the other girl… Explained everything to her, she actually said yes and we started seeing each other… I have no ill-intentions and I am only interested in this girl…
I seriously thought about this girl every day from the day I met her to this very day and I thought I may have over-hyped it… I was wrong.
I didn’t over-hype it at all and I am so happy with life after chasing her.”
24. It Started When My Partner Kept Reminding Me Of Our "Expiration Date"
“I two-timed my college partner twice while she spent the summer 1600 miles away.
When we met, we both had 2 years before graduation.
We knew we wouldn’t likely be able to stay together after graduation, for reasons I won’t mention for the sake of privacy. So we agreed to take things easy, not get too involved emotionally. Well, we ended up getting emotionally involved, but she always had to remind me that we wouldn’t be together after graduating.
So the summer before our last school year, she was 1600 miles away for an internship.
I thought things would be fine, but immediately after she moved she had this friend ‘John’ who she talked about a lot. I guess they made friends quickly and hung out a lot. Well, then she tells me how ‘John told me he loves me, but only because he was intoxicated.’ I suggested that maybe she puts some walls up unless she is going to reciprocate feelings.
She said she thought she had things under control.
That summer, both of my grandparents died a couple of months apart from each other. I watched my grandmother draw her last breath on my ex’s birthday. I barely heard from her that day except before she went out with her new friends. A week later, she tells me that John told her he didn’t think I loved her if I couldn’t take the time to visit for her birthday.
I told her that I wouldn’t tell her who to be friends with, but that I didn’t think John was being a real friend and that he just wanted her to be his girl. She assured me that she had things under control.
So dealing with that sucked, and when my grandfather died a couple of months after my grandma I really began to be depressed. Both of my grandparents were gone and this person I loved was becoming very distant in her absence.
That’s when I began meeting people online.
While my partner was busy ignoring me to hang out with whomever, I was chatting with people who gave me attention and took an interest in me. I ended up meeting one woman who I probably would have gone out with if I didn’t have a partner coming back to me in the fall (though with how my partner made me feel, I’m not sure why I didn’t end things that summer.
Maybe I thought it would end and that the timeline on our relationship meant it didn’t matter that much). That woman, ‘Lucy’, is probably the kindest person I ever met, and hooking up with her was better than any of the times my ex and I had. I never saw her again because I actually had to travel a little to meet her.
I felt guilty at first, but when my ex would barely talk to me and then bring up John or the expiration on our relationship every time we were on the phone, I stopped feeling like it was legitimately seeing someone else.
It felt like eating dessert before dinner even though mom said not to. Besides, I felt like my ex was very possibly doing something similar.
After the remorse went away, I was less concerned with how to feel and only worried about keeping it from friends and family. I ended up meeting another woman, ‘Laura’, from the internet and we ended up kissing at a bar before going to her place.
If I were single, I might have gone out with Laura, too. After Laura and I got together, I learned that she had friends who knew a couple of my friends, so I didn’t see her again for fear someone would learn my secret. After that, I didn’t have anyone who would actually meet me before my ex moved back.
When my ex moved back to school, one of the first things she asked me was if I hooked up with anyone while she was away.
I lied and said no. It made me uneasy that she asked because I didn’t know if she had heard anything and I didn’t know if she had done something herself and the guilt was making her question me. I never brought the subject up to her, though that night or the next day she told me John had kissed her…twice. I asked her what she did and she said the first time it was a quick peck and the second time he cornered her and it was hard to get him away, she said she never kissed him back.
I didn’t know what the truth was, just as she didn’t know the truth, so I didn’t push things. The next spring we went our separate ways because that’s what she wanted.
It’s been over two years since we split and I’ve never told her that I was unloyal. I thought about it, and the only reason I would tell her is if she were to ever tell me that she had (I’m not assuming she was unloyal too, I’m saying if she did and comes clean then I’ll tell her).
If I told her I was with someone behind her back, all it would do is cause her pain. She’s not a philosophical person so I think she’d rather not know. I’d only tell her if she did something behind my back because then I’d think we’re ‘even’. She’s the one who wanted to be exclusive despite our ‘expiration date’, she’s the one who was emotionally unavailable while I went through one of the hardest times of my life, and she’s the one who didn’t want to pursue a relationship past the ‘expiration date’ until 2 months after graduation and we were 1000 miles apart.”
23. It Started When I Went Camping
“This isn’t as ‘serious’ in nature as some of the others (also I’m still young, 19 now), but I technically two-timed twice in a semi-serious relationship:
This guy I met online, we were kind of in a relationship but were long-distanceish (a couple of hours apart), and nobody could know about us save for a few odd respective friends of ours, so while there were feelings there, it was kind of eventually doomed.
A few months into us being a thing, I met a guy at a camp, and we had this weird tension. A couple of days later, in a very weird moment, we ended up kissing. We made out a couple of times before the end of the camp and met up once a couple of weeks later, but that was it, and neither of us wanted to be an actual thing.
At the time, I don’t think I knew what the heck I’d done honestly, didn’t exactly feel good about it.
A month or two after that, I met a new guy friend. After a few weeks, he came over to my place to hang out, and, surprise, we ended up kissing.
Shortly after, I ended things with the sort of ‘partner’ as I knew I was being stupid and didn’t really see a future in the ‘relationship’ anyway.
Over a year later, I’m still with the second guy I kissed. None of the three people I have just described know about what was actually involved, and I don’t really want to change that. Especially with the current partner, as everything is so good between us and I fear my revelation would ruin things.
And finally, even though I two-timed twice on the first guy so you might think I’ll always be unfaithful, I haven’t repeated an offense or had the urge to lie to my current partner.”
22. It Started When I Got A New Job
“My partner was a raging boozer who paid little attention to me, despite us living together. I got a new job at a hotel and was being trained by an attractive man who was engaged to another woman (in an arranged marriage, she lived in another country). We became friends and he invited me out to do platonic activities together.
Our relationship was innocent at first but I quickly fell for him.
My partner was hammered all the time so he never really took notice of my friend outings with my colleague. My co-worker was aware of the situation with my inebriated partner and became increasingly concerned about it as our friendship progressed.
Eventually, I confessed my crush to my co-worker who was honestly shocked (my religious background and lack of intimacy experience). We planned a night together with a more romantic tone; a movie at his apartment.
The movie ended with us kissing on the couch and him convincing me I should sleep over in the guest room because it was late. I agreed and invited him to come in and cuddle with me. Nothing more.
The next morning he told me I needed to leave my significant other and that he would drive me over and we would pack up my stuff and I could move in there until I figured out a better plan.
I did just that but never figured out a better plan, and we have been together ever since (that was 6 years ago).
Oh, and his arranged marriage was called off as well. His parents were livid. We actually had to disappear for a bit until they calmed down.”
21. It Started When We Played Pool
“I had been seeing my significant other for about 6 months. I was 20 at the time and my first serious relationship.
He was everything I thought I wanted in a man – reliable job, had a car, not crazy, or drank too much (I really could pick them back then). But then he started subtly manipulating me. Things like I couldn’t hang out with my work friends, I could only stay at his place, he never wanted to stay at mine, it was all about him and his life and I was to slot right in there and support him and so what he wanted.
I then started talking more and more with a guy at work. He was the head chef and I was the bartender. We just seemed to have a connection. We were total opposites and didn’t have much in common. The head chef asked me to hang out with him. I thought yeah why not. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen. We had dinner, played pool and had some drinks.
Then he kissed me. It wasn’t an amazing kiss. It was a bit rushed. But it changed my life. I ended up going back to his place and we talked and hung out and we fell asleep together.
Now I was in a pickle. I was intoxicated by this head chef. He made me think and feel things that I didn’t know I could. But I had a partner.
I took the next day to think about things on my own. Then I ended up breaking up with my man. It was hard and sad but the right thing to do. I told the head chef I did that. And we could start hanging out and see what happens.
So we did start hanging. We had a rocky start. Many ups and downs with a break thrown in.
But 9 years later and we’re married with a 2-year-old and another one on the way.
I’m so glad he came into my life. We were both what we needed. We both made each other grow up but in different ways. He is and always will be the love of my life.”
20. It Started When I Gave Money To Boy Scouts
“I was married very young, at 21, to my high school sweetheart. We had a very volatile relationship that involved both mental and physical abuse.
It was the only serious relationship I had ever been in (I was 15 when we started going out). I spent a lot of our marriage confused. I loved him and wanted him to be my best friend, but I was always walking on eggshells with him and never knew when he was going to flip out and break something or get mad, etc. We had both been deceitful to each other in the past, and he claimed he was very resentful of me due to that.
Things got particularly rough when I was in nursing school… I was 25 at this point and we had been together 10 years. He had hurt me and I had to go to the ER and make up a lie about how I got hurt, which I knew was where I should have drawn the line (I didn’t). I had been begging him to go to marriage counseling with me because the turmoil in our marriage was unbearable.
I felt really lonely and empty. I don’t really know how to describe it. I also know I can’t blame everything on him.
One night, after getting into a massive fight with him over something incredibly stupid (I gave some Boy Scouts $20 for a cancer project), I went to a party and got incredibly wasted. I met a guy and connected with him, possibly just because of the booze.
We continued to talk over the next week and I think honestly it was just comforting knowing someone would be there for me if I left my husband, which is selfish in hindsight. At the time, I tried to make excuses for my behavior, but I still feel really bad about hurting my ex-husband. I’ve been with the guy I met at the party for four years.
I lived with my parents briefly, and then some friends, and about a year and a half into our relationship we got a place together. He’s my best friend. He has changed the way I feel about relationships. A month after leaving my ex, I found out he had gotten his new woman pregnant- that was pretty hurtful, but such is life.
About a year ago I reached out to my ex.
I apologized for the way I left him, for hurting him. I am really happy in life now and it was something that ate away at my conscious. He didn’t really accept my apology and blames me for everything still. I think this just made me feel worse – I won’t be reaching out to him again.”
19. It Started When I Met People On Reddit
“It wasn’t physical disloyalty, I’ve never met the guy in person however I consider what I did disloyal. I actually found some people to Snapchat with from Reddit when I was severely depressed and made some friends when I wasn’t able to maintain actual relationships.
One of the people I was snap chatting with was adorable, nice, interesting. It progressed into exchanging dirty pictures and some texting. We talked about meeting each other at some point but I don’t know if it would have ever happened.
Fast forward like 5 or 6 months and I am in a relationship with someone I met in my town. I actually stopped talking to the Snapchat guy for a while.
But after about a year and a half with my current significant other, we started having a lot of problems. He did a lot of things to ruin my confidence I felt bad about myself and my relationship.
So I started talking to my Snapchat friend again and things once again progressed into what were then inappropriate conversations and pictures. I just liked him a lot and he made me feel better, just like he had made me feel better when we initially started talking.
I think part of what makes me care for him so much is that he really did help me through one of the hardest points in my life, even if he doesn’t know.
Well, he eventually cut contact with me. Either blocked me or deleted his Snapchat. I don’t know for sure why. I deleted his phone number so I couldn’t text him. I knew it was for the better.
Fast forward another year or year and a half and be randomly like one of my Instagram pictures. Super random. So I followed him and he randomly added me on Snapchat again. I am still with my partner from before. Unfortunately, I have some kind of weakness for this guy because we talked a lot for about 2 weeks. Sent some things we shouldn’t have. I saw on his Instagram he has a partner too.
Not good… I don’t know what it is about him but despite feeling guilty I continued. Then one morning I woke up and he had blocked me again. On Snapchat and Instagram. I think he felt guilty too, even though we never actually acknowledge that we were both in relationships.
It hurt and I still think about him sometimes even though I don’t actually know him.
It was for the best though. I was afraid of my significant other finding out and didn’t know how long I could continue to be deceptive.
This is the only time I’ve ever been unfaithful.”
18. It Started When I Passed The Bar Exam
“I was the other man in this scenario, but here’s my perspective: she started law school engaged to a guy she had been seeing for a few years. During her 1L year, she breaks off the engagement because things aren’t quite right, but they still keep in touch.
During this time, I meet her, and while I’m completely and utterly blown away by her, I only occasionally see her.
Fast forward one year, and we start chatting more and more, realizing how much we have in common, and we’ve become great friends. She gets back together with her fiance (at this point, they’re just going out, not engaged), and I realize that I have feelings for her, but not wanting to disrupt things with her and him, keep it to myself.
Move forward six months, and it’s around the time I’m graduating from law school. She and I have become really close, but nothing inappropriate is occurring. The entire time I’m studying for the bar exam, she’s the person I go to in order to vent and de-stress because she gets me in ways that no one else does. After I pass the bar and everything, an opportunity opens up for me to move to New York for a year, and I take it.
She offers to help drive me up there since I have no other way of getting my stuff up there, and I accept the offer (someone else rode with us too, so we weren’t alone).
On the day I move into my place in New York, she breaks down in tears and doesn’t understand why. I finally get her alone and I confess that I’ve been in love with her for a long time.
She doesn’t immediately reciprocate, but after talking every day for a couple of weeks, she realizes that she feels the same way too.
From that point on, we talk as long-distance lovers, not just friends. All of it culminated in a weekend when I went home, and she and I spent a weekend together in a hotel room. I can honestly say it’s the happiest I’ve ever felt.
But after that weekend, I could feel that something had changed. While we still talked every day, I could feel her pulling away. During the Christmas break, I was up in New York, all my friends who had promised to come to visit didn’t follow through, and all the friends I had made went back home for the holidays, so I was completely alone and depressed.
During this time, her birthday occurs, and that night, she calls to tell me that her man proposed to her again, and she said yes without a second thought. I didn’t sleep that night, and I broke down the next day, flew home for a couple of weeks (courtesy of my parents), and when I got back up to New York, I started seeing a therapist help cope with the fallout.
Because she and I are great friends, we still talked, albeit not as much this past spring. I thought I was over it, but when I finished up in New York, I got back home only to discover that with nothing else to keep me busy, the same feelings of anxiety and despair came welling up to the surface. I have since stopped talking to her entirely because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over her otherwise.
As for a time reference, I met her in spring 2014, our affair took place in fall 2016, and I’ve been getting over it this year. I stopped talking to her only a couple of weeks ago, and while it does help, I still miss her like crazy. Of everyone I’ve ever gone out with, the affair with her impacted me more than any other person put together.
We just understood one another in a way that few people do. I tried my darndest t to win her over, but it just wasn’t meant to be.”
17. It Started After I Proposed While Riding A Scooter
“When I was in a 4 year on again off again rollercoaster of an alternately amazing and difficult relationship, she adamantly wanted to get back together after returning home from her semester abroad. On the night we discussed this over drinks at a bar, I did what I finally worked up the courage to do while she was away and told her firmly that’s not what I want, only to emotionally crumble and change my mind as soon as her car pulled out of the parking lot.
I chased her car to the red light on my scooter to spew some embarrassing crap about ‘being in it for the long run’.
Later that same night I wake up to a lovely friend who was there hanging with my roommates asking if she can sleep in my bed instead of the couch. I said sure and went back to sleep, thinking we’re just friends she just needs a place to sleep.
I woke back up to her kissing me! Which led to a summer of booze-fueled rush and shame. I was too enthralled with finally feeling really attracted to (and wanted by) a new woman after 4 years. I was too ashamed of myself to admit it to the significant other I basically proposed to on my scooter. I lied to most people I care about to keep both romantic/intimate relationships all summer, cowardly postponing the inevitable fallout.
People started to notice my relationship with the new girl was much more of a relationship than the one with my ‘actual partner’ I had gotten back together with. They both found out through the g*******e. The new one forgave me and we continued to go out for 4 years before a recent amicable breakup. The old one did not and moved across the country leaving me with many severed friendships and overwhelming guilt I still haven’t fully let go of.
You’d think I wouldn’t need such an experience to know I shouldn’t hurt the person closest to me in the worst way, regardless of no longer wanting to be close. At least it helped me realize how much all that boozing was helping me lie to myself about all my problems and lie to others to hide them.”
16. It Started When I Got Transferred To A Far Away Office
“Was with my wife almost ten years at the time and my affairee had been with her husband ten years. The affairee and I got to know each other really well over the course of the 2 years we’d been working together. Families over to each other’s houses for BBQs and the kids’ birthdays and the like.
She and I worked insane hours together. 10-14 a day. But we were just friends.
One day I get transferred to a unit 5 miles away and 2 weeks later I get a sobbing phone call from the affairee that her boss (my former boss) had taken her out for drinks and at some point tried to kiss her. Really shook her up so I pulled some strings and got her transferred to me.
Once again we were working together.
Fast forward 2 years. I get transferred again and this time I take her with me. This time we’re both having problems in our respective marriages that we both know about. 60 hours a week and you REALLY get to know someone. Our business is such that we have 2 months where our hours slack off. We start going to the pizza place down the street for some after-work drinks.
By now I’ve started to develop some feelings for her but I remember what happened with our last boss so I keep them under wraps.
Weeks go by of us meeting after work for beers. One day, as we’re sitting at the counter, her hand slides off her other hand and rests against mine. My heart starts pounding, I start to hear white noise and I can feel the b***d rushing to my ears.
So what do I do? I pull away. Scared. I was certain it was an accident but I’m nervous now so I start bouncing my heel up and down. That’s when she crosses her legs and rests her knee on my leg that’s bouncing the foot. Now all bets are off and I just gently put my hand on her neck and give a light squeeze.
We look at each other and we both know. We start that awkward conversation, ‘when did you start to feel this way?’ ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ ‘Why didn’t YOU say anything?’
That begins an almost year-long affair. The first month was hotel rooms and the back of our cars. Once work started to pick back up, we moved to our workplace.
Our ‘spare’ time being filled back up with the daily grind and it was our only time apart from the families.
Our families still got together for social events and the affairee and I started to wonder where we were going with it and what we would do. We talked about leaving our families and moving in together. We talked about taking our families with us and moving in together, leaving the spouses to pick up their own pieces.
Who knew? Maybe they would get together.
Things started to get pretty crazy in her life and work was grinding her into the ground. So she told our bosses that she needed to spend more time with her kids. At the end of the day, she said that she needed to quit because she couldn’t stand to be with me but be able to be with me, so she quit work.
About 3 months went by before my wife asked why we didn’t all hang out anymore. My marriage was still basically crap and I should’ve done what my guilt had been telling me, but I didn’t. I looked at my daughter and just said something about her new job being really crazy with travel. I was still seeing my affairee every now and again, but those feelings we felt for each other were all gone.
I think my wife knew I wanted to leave, maybe she knew how close I actually came to leaving. Either way, with the affair out of my life I began to see that my marriage wasn’t as crap as I was making it out to be. 15 years later all my wives and my kids are grown up and living lives of their own and my wife and I getting ready to celebrate year number 26.
And no, I will never, ever tell her. Or do it again.”
15. It Started When I Got Too Lazy To Go Home
“To start, I was the person the girl got involved with behind the back of her partner of 4 years. We met in college and we became friends immediately due to our love of ATLA. We hung out pretty much every weekend and days off. I, having not had a partner my entire life fell for this girl almost as soon as I met her.
We’d watch movies and just chill all night long, then I’d walk her back to her dorm. She eventually started telling me about how she had a side romance and was trying to make things right with her man. I thought that was fine, we can just be friends. eventually, we just became super close friends and hung out and talked every day.
One night we were hanging out in her dorm and I was too tired to walk home.
In my tired daze, I reached up from the floor and grabbed her hand and we just held hands. From then on there was a lot of pent-up tension between us. Eventually, after slowly building up, we finally started hooking up pretty much every night. We both felt bad but she never really told me to stop, so I just kept going.
Eventually, her man found texts between us and ended them since he had already given her a second chance.
The next week or so she wouldn’t talk to me, it was fine, I knew what had happened. When she was done getting over her ex, she started texting me again and when I finally got to see her again after the summer break, I asked her to be my partner. We will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary in August. I have loved her every single day, I know people will say I am awful and that I shouldn’t have started anything with her, but we’ve both never been happier.”
14. It Started When She Asked Me For A Tour
“Had a crush on a 10/10 perfect girl when we were 15, let’s call her ‘Summer’. She hated most boys because she was constantly being hit on, but she’s drawn to me. Thought it’s too good to be true, despite her hinting at me for months. She finally went out with someone. It broke my heart, we cut ties. Had not spoken with her for years. Several significant others and years later, she texted me out of the blue.
At the time we were in a relationship with our own partners.
One year later, she moved into my college. ‘Hi, Batavianguy. Would you give me a tour?’Fell in love again at the first meet, and fell in love more and more with every other denial ‘We’re just friends’ bondings. Couldn’t lie to me, I was in love with two women. I confessed to her and she confessed that she already had feelings since we were 15.
She broke up with her man so she can be with me. She knew I’m in a relationship. My partner knew that Summer and I had a ‘connection’ since the first time I gave her the freshman tour. I had an open relationship with the two of them for some time until my girl couldn’t take it and called for us three to meet together.
My partner wanted to end the relationship. Summer wanted to stay with me, and she did. Until the day after that.
That night my partner called Summer and said things about me, things that prompted Summer into saying ‘Sorry Batavianguy, I couldn’t be with you. Have a good life, I know you will.’ I have had 12 committed relationships, with that being the last one.
I have never, ever, in my life had the feeling that I had for Summer. I love her truly. Nowadays even though I go out with women, I keep thinking about Summer. I couldn’t fall for another woman ever since then.
My partner was popular so she gathered ALL her friends to hate me. Had tons of crap talk, hate, and insults. Gave me depression for a year.
Summer, I couldn’t lie to myself. Sigh.”
13. It Started When My Coworker's Partner Moved Away
“Mid-20s. I was single and started seeing an older married lady (M). She loved her husband but there was no intimacy.
I was interested in a coworker (J; she was a few years younger than I). After her partner moved away, I found J’s personal ad online basically by chance. I wasn’t 100% sure it was her but we talked a bit and figured out who each other was.
Well, M wasn’t happy with having to share me. She stayed away at first but came to visit a few times (she had become friends with my mom as well, so had reasons to stop by other than I).
I, being a typical male idiot, obliged M’s desires. Much less often (like once a month vs a few days a week), but still unfaithful.
J moved in with me at my mom’s. I eventually started saying no to M. I’m not even sure the very last time it happened.
I don’t remember how it came out – we weren’t caught, M didn’t say anything.
I think I came clean about it. J was obviously upset but since I’d put M basically out of my life at that point, we stayed together.
The relationship with J started slowly declining anyway, there were problems between her and my mom, and eventually, she got kicked out. J ended up getting it on with a friend of mine, which came out a month or so after it happened. My lack of reaction (what could I do, I’d done the same) was the nail in the coffin for the relationship.
J and I stayed friends with benefits until she found someone else. I eventually started seeing someone else as well. Even though an open relationship, neither of us exercised it. Eventually got together with my current significant other. Can’t say my mind hasn’t wandered to the thought or one or two other people when my current significant other and I have had longer problems/rough patches, but never acted on the thought.”
12. It Started When I Joined The Military
“My high school sweetheart, who I was madly in love with decided she couldn’t support my decision to join the military so we broke up even though I had a year before I shipped to boot camp. I got involved with another girl with who I was friends with through my prior relationship. Right before I left for boot camp, a high school sweetheart approached me at a party about how sorry she was and supported me.
One thing leads to another and we started our shenanigans there.
For the added twist, I eventually left the girl I was seeing for my high school sweetheart but sooner or later found myself back with her. Then high school sweetheart and I broke up but we stayed friends with benefits. Then I started casually going out with a girl I worked with while being friends with benefits with both my previous ex’s.
Then within 6 months of each other, all three girls got married to someone else, even the girl I was casually seeing.
After a while, two of the girls approached me again but I declined. They are married, they can go somewhere else and get entangled, I’m sure, but I’m not going to cause or be in that mess. An added twist, they all three knew each other because of me and our relations, at first, they hated each other, now a few years later I see them advertising each other ‘ItWorks’ products on The Book of Faces.”
11. It Started When I Got Home Sick
“Was with someone for a few years, I then had to move to another state for school and work. It already killed me to leave my home state and my entire family for the first time, and even worse to be away from my then significant other. The first month away was filled with tears, I felt truly alone and I couldn’t bear it.
When I started working I felt much more alive, surrounded by people I enjoyed being with.
I started talking to one of my coworkers, my first real conversation with her was me opening up and telling her what’s been going on. Something about her allowed me to do so. We eventually started hanging out every day and it was obvious that we had a thing for each other but I kept denying it, thinking I was happy being with the one I was with.
Our daily hangouts were so simple, like a night talking at Starbucks, but it meant so much to me. I soon realized that I haven’t been happy with my current relationship for a good year now. I had been keeping the relationship with my then significant other because it was a comfortable choice, but that was about it. I didn’t love her anymore. It was probably part of the reason I wasn’t doing so well in the first month because the person I kept looking back to for happiness was someone I couldn’t care about the same way anymore.
It was even more obvious to me when I noticed I haven’t talked to my significant other for a few weeks and didn’t care.
After a night at the beach, my coworker and I kissed. After that she has been very important in my life, showing me how a true relationship works between two people and teaching me how to show my feelings towards someone I care about.
This was an aspect I never got in my previous relationship and I didn’t know how important it was. I broke up with my ex as soon I made a visit home soon after.”
10. It Started When My Partner Got Intoxicated
“If I’m being honest, whether or not I was unfaithful would depend on who you asked and how I was feeling about myself at the time. It’s been many years, and I only think about the incident fleetingly, nowadays. But it was a defining moment in my life, and I’ve always questioned whether or not I was capable of being unfaithful.
I was with this guy, we’ll call him Bob.
We met through mutual friends in college. He was kind, funny, quirky, and when I came on to him he reciprocated, which I hadn’t experienced before. We started a relationship and I quickly realized he was also flakey and had very little ambition.
It was a tough point in my life. I was struggling with depression, doing poorly in school, and due to my depression, I often felt an (admittedly unjustified) sense of alienation from my friends.
I needed someone to be there for me, and he wasn’t. Not in a cruel way, just in the sense that we were both young and not on the same page. He had no intention of going to school, having moved to town B mostly to get away from his parents after high school. When it became apparent that college wasn’t for him, he moved back home (town A), while I stayed (town B) trying to get back on track academically.
He took a job (town C), but every weekend he’d get off and go visit his friends in town A, before (and sometimes at the expense of) visiting me in town B. I felt like an afterthought. I started drinking more and pressured him to move in with me. It was a bad idea.
We were together for about two years. Went through 2 apartments and multiple roommates before moving in by ourselves.
His job situation never changed, I was still out of school, and I became incredibly lonely.
Enter, Josh.
Josh was in the military. We went out in high school but it ended due to some stuff he was going through. It was a very anticlimactic breakup. I never felt there was any closure.
We kept in touch over the years and hooked up a couple of times when he was on leave, prior to my seeing Bob.
Nothing inappropriate when I was in a relationship. Can’t confidently say the same for him.
I was invited to the wedding of a high school friend (in town A) with whom Josh was very close. I’ll be honest and say that visiting him (platonically) was one of the factors in my decision to go. I thought that we were very good friends. I was wrong.
Bob and I went together, and he acted like a petulant child the entire evening. Said he would be the designated driver, but immediately started drinking. Socialized for like 20 minutes before he started disappearing for long stretches of time. Finally found him out in the car. We fought. He said he felt like I wasn’t doing enough to be a social buffer for him. I told him I barely knew any of these people and we were supposed to be there as a couple.
More fighting. I told him this wasn’t working anymore and we needed to break up. He left.
I had no ride home but connected with an acquaintance who was throwing an ‘afterparty’ mere blocks from my parents’ house, where Bob and I had intended to stay that night. I tried calling him to ask if he still wanted to stay there despite the breakup. He was inebriated at a friend’s house and said some awful crap to me.
I figured I’d just catch a ride to the party and walk home.
Josh was intoxicated, I was weak (then intoxciated) and we ended up fooling around at the party.
In the morning, Bob showed up at my parent’s house as if nothing had happened. I reminded him of the previous night’s events and said I was perfectly willing to take the bus or find a ride back to our apartment, where we could figure out how to proceed.
He claimed to not remember any of it. Said he was sober when he left the wedding and thought we’d just had a fight. So he got blackout tanked at his friend’s house.
I started to question myself. Was I clear in what I had said? I thought so… I barely drank at the wedding because they only had light booze (which I wasn’t a fan of).
I didn’t get inebriated until the afterparty. I told him I’d messed around with someone and (perhaps foolishly) apologized. He said, ‘let’s go home and work it out there.’
We got back to our apartment in town B. He was cruel. Said he wouldn’t leave despite having another place to live and working in town C. I was actively trying to reapply to university in town B after an academic suspension, and couldn’t afford the fees associated with moving.
He agreed to move out and was incredibly petty about everything. Made me move into the guest bedroom, where I had a sleeping bag on top of two ottomans pushed together, and not much else. I’d gotten rid of lots of my crap when his sister got married and gave us a bunch of her old stuff. He started tallying up all I owed him for groceries and nights out over the course of our relationship.
I tried to make the best of it. Looked for a roommate, hung out with good friends, and except for a couple of lapses in judgment, we generally avoided one another. Bob put a lock on his bedroom door and made threats to keep me from going in there.
One night, he was supposedly out of town and I was desperate for some extra padding to sleep on.
I jimmied the lock on his door, took a blanket, drank too much, and passed out.
Sometime in the night he returned, noticed a blanket missing, came into my room (which had no lock), saw me asleep, and proceeded to look through my phone.
This was before passcodes.
I’d been texting with Josh.
Bob found him on the Book of Faces, messaged his version of events (that I’d been unfaithful), and got Josh on his side.
Josh replied with details of our night together. Nothing I hadn’t already admitted to Bob, but I think the nitty-gritty justified his sense that he’d been wronged.
He started telling all our friends and family that I had an affair. They stopped talking to me. He again refused to move out, despite my having found someone to take over his portion of the lease. I started drinking less as he began drinking more, often showing up at the restaurant where I worked and causing a scene.
I finally contacted his sister. Apologized and explained the situation. Begged for help.
She admitted he was drinking too much, thanked me, and he was soon completely moved out.
I went on to be friends with benefits with Josh, who had since moved to town B. He half-heartedly apologized for telling Bob ‘everything,’ and I foolishly believed him. He would never publicly admit that we were together, and I found out that he had gotten himself a ‘legitimate’ significant other that he hid from me, when they both showed up to the party of a friend that she (new partner) and I both happened to know.
When I look back on that time in my life, I often wonder. Did I imagine the events surrounding the breakup just to make myself feel better? To justify my actions?
Many years of unhealthy relationships later, I found my now fiance. When preparing to move in together I was going through some old computer stuff, found the hard drive from my first computer, fired it up, and found a file marked ‘Bob’s.’
I attached the contents to an email without reading them. Apologized again for everything that happened, and told him (roughly); ‘I know we both said and did some things that we’re not proud of. We were young. I hope you’re living a happy life.’
Never heard back.
I don’t talk to Josh. He undermined my self-worth when I was in a crappy situation that he played a part in.
I found out that some of our early hookups occurred when he was going out with a woman also in the military. I felt used.
I would never act this way with my significant other, he’s a kind, devoted partner. ”
9. It Started When I Graduated From High School
“I had been going out with a guy on and off for 2 years back in high school. In high school, I had made a friend and she had a really attractive brother, but he didn’t live in our city.
I had met him once when I joined her for a concert. I flirted with him the whole time I was there. I felt guilty, but I couldn’t stop. Ultimately, nothing happened. I returned back home from the concert and put him out of my mind for the time being and continued my relationship with my ex.
1 year later, I graduated high school and my friend and I were set to attend college orientation together.
Her brother attended the college we were going to and he offered to let us stay in his apartment for orientation week. I was pretty excited because I still had a crush on her brother, but I tried not to show it. During that week, I got to know him more and the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. We connected in a way I didn’t think was possible and he made me feel something I had never felt.
As bad as it sounds, during that week, my ex was just a bother. I didn’t want to talk to him because at this point, I was really falling for this guy. I couldn’t help myself, we ended up kissing and admitting to each other that we liked each other.
After I returned from orientation, I couldn’t put him out of my mind. We would text and FaceTime every day.
My ex found about him after I had broken up with him and while it was messy, in a way I don’t regret it because I am so incredibly happy with my man now. I truly think this is who I was meant to be with.”
8. It Started When I Found Out My Partner Was Not Into Anime
“I went behind the back of my current partner of more than 5 years because I’m weak and foolish. I still don’t completely understand my actions, and I try not to think about it since the guilt sucks and I don’t plan on telling her anyway.
This happened about 2 years ago.
So I have been going out with a girl for about 5 years, we will call her girl ‘A’. Things are really good with her if maybe a little boring. She’s good for me, we seem to be working towards common goals, and we don’t fight because we just communicate well together. I would almost classify her as the ‘good girl’ type, and I haven’t really gone out with many girls in my life who had their heads on straight.
Anyways, I love anime (yes, it factors into the story) and my partner likes it but doesn’t really love it as I do. I’m always watching it, reading manga, playing games, whatever. Well, I do my best to try to incorporate her into my likes, but I mean if she doesn’t want to watch anime all the time, I totally understand. I decide that I want to create a local ‘anime group’ to watch, read and discuss all things related to Otaku culture, so I can spend time with others who share my interests and not have to bother her all the time.
Mistake #1.
So I pull this group of people together (4 of us) and we start nerding out on Otaku stuff. There are these 2 girls in the little group that I had created who are really attractive, but I just do my best to ignore their attractiveness and be friends because, well I’m taken. (I’ll just cut you off at the pass now and say that yes, these girls were really attractive despite being into nerd stuff like I am.)
Anyway, I start really getting close to this one girl who we will call ‘B’. She knows I am in a relationship, and we are both completely platonic friends. We start becoming really good friends, spending lots of time together, eating together, doing nerd stuff together, no biggie. Well, anime started turning into a sort of fetish for us. I know that sounds weird as heck because it weirds me out just typing it, but we started to anthropomorphize our feelings for one another by attributing them to different characters or situations.
Mistake #2.
The way this started out was by sending each other racy and inappropriate dialog to pair with the pics. This very quickly turned into an emotional type of two-timing as pics ceased being hentai, and started to become of each other. Mistake #3? I didn’t realize that I was falling harder and harder for girl B.
Emotional deceit eventually gave way to physical deceit, and I selfishly kept up both because the hooking up was so good and the weird, anime stylized emotional bond we had created was just so darn fulfilling.
Girl B was my total naughty fantasy, she cosplayed for me, catered to me, and selflessly gave herself to me in a way that I had never experienced before and I just couldn’t stop.
Girl B knew that I was in a relationship, and despite that, she made the first move on me. I was far too weak to say no to someone who was a 10/10 physically and shared my desires as well.
We ‘were together’ for almost 6 months (made easy by the fact that I had my own apt and I was not living with girl A at the time) and I struggled mentally the whole time.
I didn’t want to leave girl A, she was good for me. She really does mesh well with my personality, and she always helps me through life. She stood by my side all the time, she always tried to make things better for us.
She is not my perfect match romantically and our relationship can become boring at times, but she’s a good woman. More woman than I deserve for sure. I spent more than 2 months waffling near the end of my fling. I promised girl B up and down that I was going to leave girl A to be with her. I promised time and again, but I just couldn’t break up with girl A.
I feel like she might be ‘the one’, and I wasn’t willing to give her up for someone who I didn’t love and was just ‘seeing.’ However therein lies the problem, I now loved both of these girls. I loved girl A in a stable, comforting, and future-wife-type way, but I loved girl B in a naughty, intellectual, and fantasy way.
So I screwed up.
I eventually broke it off with girl B, and girl A and I are still together to this day. I miss girl B, I miss our shared interests and our amazing connection but girl A is level-headed and in it for the long haul. I still wonder if I made the right choice, but I never could get over the nagging feeling that if girl B was involved with me knowing I had a partner, she would probably do it again in the future.
I wouldn’t take it back though because she was the best I have ever had… I’m terrible I know…”
7. It Started When My Partner Asked Me To Get Even With Her
“So my first serious partner (been together for 4 years) was unfaithful but I loved her so much I said we’d call it water under the bridge. She said I could hook up with someone else and I was like nah babe. Then she replies with something like if you don’t get even with me, we are breaking up. So like any logical adult in love, I went and spent the night with my sorority president.
Life is good then we lie to each other again and we tried to hide it but it happened and we both had a pretty good laugh about it in the end.
So after twice, I’m pretty sick of this game and I’m like ya know it doesn’t get better than her, and I propose. She says yes everything is amazing. I go out of town for the weekend for work and she sees someone behind my back!
3 days after she said yes to the proposal. So I’m like wow. Okay well, let’s just call it water under the bridge (again) I’m not mad about this because I love you. She goes oh well since you are not mad you must not really love me. Hands me back my ring then off she goes.
Round two Electric Boogaloo.
So my first real relationship 2 years after the previous crap.
With this girl and she has her flaws but it’s like nothing super serious. Anyway, she and I along with our Greek family (college) go to LA for a big convention. At the end of this first night, I meet E. E was nothing I ever expected to happen in my life. We exchanged numbers and had late-night rendezvous. Nothing further than kissing. Just blew me away.
Then I drove home with my partner back to WSU. Kept in touch with E. Broke up with my significant other. Then began this long 3 years unknown period of my love life. It’s been complete crap going back and forth with her but I’m finally over it.
Now it’s time to finish the trilogy and find someone to settle down with. Despite it all, I really don’t miss any of the people in the story.
I miss the feeling of being in love and supporting someone while being supported.”
6. It Started When My Husband Didn't Make An Effort To Heal
“I got married too young to someone who I was trying to help fix their mental health. I was leading that horse to water for 5 years, and he wouldn’t drink. Wouldn’t stay on medication, wouldn’t commit to a regular therapist. He’d been in and out of the hospital. It made it hard to want to be around him, and I fell out of love.
I still cared about him, but I was not in love. But I was too afraid to leave. I wasn’t sure how he would react to the news that I didn’t love him that way anymore. I really didn’t want him to hurt himself. But I was also scared for myself. I had never lived alone, I wasn’t sure I would be able to provide for myself.
I felt like a failure, all around. No matter what direction I would have chosen, I felt as though I did not try hard enough.
Near the end though, I was getting out of the house with friends more. Meeting new people, getting more confident in myself, and my ability to take care of myself too. I met a man through a co-worker, and we had a friendly connection.
A lot of interests and ideas in common. He and I started hanging out, and one night we ended up kissing, and then a few days later we went all the way. We eventually started seeing every 5 or 6 nights a week. And it was very seldom just anything more than friends, it was more often than not simply hanging out and watching TV and eating dinner.
It was like I was in another relationship. But with someone who actually had their crap together, and cared about me and my well-being too. For the first time in years, I had someone asking me how I was feeling, and how they could help me.
We discussed at length the fact that I was still married. He had gotten involved with another married woman in the past (there was a pretty large age difference between us) and had his heartbroken when she went back to her spouse.
He told himself he would never fall for someone unavailable ever again. I said I would not have continued the relationship if I didn’t find there to be something deeper than a physical connection. I worked hard to make my marriage work, and I think I was finally accepting that there was nothing else I could have done on my part to make it work and that the ball wasn’t in my court anymore.
We discussed putting the breaks on things, but ultimately we couldn’t stay away from each other for too long.
I ended things with my ex, telling him that I wasn’t in love with him anymore, and I couldn’t keep lying. Shockingly to me, he accepted this without any major happenings (i.e. he did not hurt himself). And the other guy and I cooled things off, eventually ending our physical relationship entirely.
We were still friendly, but things were not the same after my ex and I separated. There was a degree of guilt in him that he believed he caused me to leave my ex, which was not the case. In my heart, my marriage had been dead for a long time.
Do I regret staying with my ex as long as I did with nothing changing?
Yes. I wasted a lot of time trying to fix something I did not have the tools to fix. My ex is a good person, but I could not love him into loving himself.
Do I regret the timing of everything with the other guy? Yes and no. If I had done the right thing and waited until my ex and I separated, I think it could have worked out.
And I feel bad for inflicting those guilty feelings on him. But he did make me realize again that I was worth something, that there are people out there who are willing to love me and care about my well-being. He made me realize that a relationship can give back to you, and make you feel alive.”
5. It Started When My Partner Won't Sleep With Me
“Had a long-time partner, 8 years. We once went 10 months without hooking up.
Otherwise, we were happy. But… hello, relations! We had fun together and were very physically affectionate. If it weren’t for the hooking up, everything would have been perfect. We were very much in love but she was never in the mood. It hurt or she was tired or any other list of excuses.
I was unfaithful dozens of times. I’m not a bad-looking guy and my quick wit and charm blend together nicely with my looks.
I’m aware of how girls look at me. Here’s a few I can remember…
The redhead. She was a regular at the restaurant I managed. She’d hang out on the patio all night with her blond friend doing nursing homework and drinking beers together. They were ‘woo’ girls, very fun and attractive. One night she gave me the pouty face and contested when I told her we were closing.
Being flirtatious back I said she was free to stay but I’d be closing out the registers and sending the employees home. She’d have to come inside so I could lock the doors. Afterward, I poured a beer for myself and me and a cook sat and hung out with them. Time flew by after a couple and we ended up hooking up. It was a 1-time thing and mutually we remained just flirty after that.
The blonde. My partner and I had a fight one time about I don’t remember. She went to go stay at her mom’s that night. I took a shot in the dark and called this girl from high school who was always flirty with me but otherwise shy to everyone else. I hadn’t talked to her in years. She agreed to hang out. We went to dinner, then a walk on the beach where she held my hand and was very physical. We made out and went swimming in the ocean.
I took her back to my apartment and we hooked up everywhere. We were up until like 7 am and I finally drove her home. My partner never found out and the girl and I never spoke again.
The trickster. This server I worked with was a hot little thing I’d had my eye on since I hired her. Being very respectful at first, we became good friends.
She was short, like 4 foot 8, but had a rocking body. I and a bunch of the servers and cooks would go to parties or late-night dinners at 3 am after we got off work at least 4 or 5 times a week. This girl finally decided to go with us this night. Her significant other was an abusive jerk who I hoped wouldn’t start crap with me one day.
She started hiding her outings with us from him. One night she stayed late after we went to dinner and we ended up kissing. One thing led to another. It was amazing. We continued working together and stayed flirty but never crossed that bridge again.
I’m happily married now to a wonderful wife who exceeds any need or desire I have. I have zero desire to lie or even flirt with other women.
My wife is my world. Why did I stop seeing other people? I’m either older and more mature but I’d like to think that I respect the heck out of my wife. She’s an absolutely wonderful woman who I don’t deserve. We’re open and honest with each other about everything. She also loves hooking up as much as I do, sometimes more! I think that another long-term relationship was a fantasy of what I thought love was.”
4. It Started When She Got Together With A Man She Met Last Month
“I was the guy she was unfaithful with.
We have been friends for two years and a half. After the first two months or so, she started crushing on me and I did on her too, a month later. I wanted to have something more, but she was never into it.
We spent summer vacation going out and kissing sometimes. I was still in love with her and she sometimes fell harder for me but went back after a bit.
Summer ends and she meets the guy. They hit it off and start going out almost a month later after meeting. I hate everything about it. We kissed once, but that was it. She felt guilty for five minutes, then kept it to herself.
After the kiss, we never did anything else like that, emotional or physical. She broke up with him before Christmas, as he was being a jerk (he was the jealous kind).
I thought this was my chance and took things slowly. Turns out it was not. They got back together in January. I couldn’t believe this. Still, I said nothing else.
In February, I had an assignment and I asked her to come with me (sort of a bonding). During that time, I felt very attracted to her and was kind of touchy. We did not do anything, though.
On my way home, we were texting about something serious we had discussed and I let out a ‘Whenever we are alone I feel like I want to kiss you.’
She felt it too. I don’t know what drove me to, but I started detailing things to her. We started a naughty texting affair. Two days of it then she ended it. She felt bad about it and I understood.
We had a plan to meet up (innocently) but she canceled it feeling it would end up ‘extra friendly.’ I understood and didn’t bring it up again.
He found out a week later, broke up with her, but went back the same day. She stopped talking to me and she felt like crap for a month.
He treated her horribly during the two months we didn’t talk, being even more jealous and controlling than normal (opening her chat accounts to see what she talked about with others, prohibiting her from hanging out with other people) and she one day asked a friend of mine for me.
My friend told me and I contacted her.
We started talking normally, he found out and went ballistic. They were still together like that (he getting angry for her talking with me) until he confessed he almost went behind her back. I told her ‘Break up with him.’ She did.
We fooled around after that and still are great friends. She wanted a relationship with me right after, but after all that had happened I didn’t feel the same I felt before.”
3. It Started When My Wife Told Me To Sleep With Other Women
“It started by me ignoring my new co-worker that everyone wanted to get with.
She later came out and said that was the day she knew she would hook up with me. I had been with the same woman for 10 years married for 4 and two young children. I had no intention of being unfaithful. The first time I remember having any feelings towards her is when her baby daddy called in the middle of her shift and she laid into him.
My wife was extremely passive. She never fought me on anything ever. It was boring. So seeing this beautiful woman be aggressive turned me on.
We became friends and within the month I was spending all my free time with her. My wife and I had been having a rough year intimacy-wise and at one point she told me to go get my needs taken care of and do what I needed but don’t fall in love.
I fell hard for the new one. She would text me late at night and literally wake me outta bed to come over. Her smile melts me and I love her children and family. My wife’s family never really accepted me due to my lack of religion.
This went on for about a month my poor wife living in ignorance but you could see it on her face she knew.
I finally broke down and told her everything. Within the week she went on a ‘vacation’ up north to be around family and took my kids.
I spent a week trying to figure it out and the new girl asked me to be her man and I moved in with her shortly after. About a month of that and I think the guilt of the whole thing and missing my kids got to me and her.
We had a fight and she pushed me away and I felt I had given up so much for her so I sold off most of my stuff and drove 23 hrs to where my kids and wife were.
The first day I was here my wife hid my kids from me and I was not allowed and her parents’ house where she was living in one room with both children.
My wife said she didn’t think it would ever work.
I lived in my car for two months got two jobs and offered my wife a place to live so I could try and fix it and she said no. She hasn’t had a serious talk with me since.
I spent 5 months working and getting myself in a good spot so I could support my kids.
I didn’t speak with the new girl the whole time. Got a random Snapchat from her one day and we started talking and that love I had for her was still there. I’ve been to see her twice since then.
I have a great job now and the new girl wants to move up here as soon as she graduates. I really thought I loved my wife.
But nothing compares to the love I feel for the new one. It’s almost unhealthy. I’d suffer so she never has to. It’s been a wild year and I don’t think my wife and I would have been together forever so better now than later I guess. I just want to be happy. And as cliche, as it is the heart, wants what the heart wants.
I’m not proud of the way it happened but I’m living in a great town with a great job now and if a new girl does end up moving I think I would finally be truly happy .”
2. It Started When I Realized My Wife Was Abusive
“My wife was abusive, cold, controlling, and overall terrible. I am an easy-to-control guy, and she took advantage of that. I told her that she makes my life crap, she didn’t care.
I didn’t leave her, because we had a little girl (~6 months), and leaving my wife would have meant leaving my daughter as well as she was still nursing. My wife hated being a mom. It has always been me who wanted a kid, I think she just liked the idea of not having to work. I came to the realization that if our life continued on this path, my daughter and I would have a crap life.
I found emotional support in a single mother coworker. We fell in love over a few months. It became clear that we wanted to be together. I showed her my daughter, I started to build a relationship with her daughter. She assured me that she would stand by me if I was going to have to fight for the custody of my daughter. We started hooking up.
I manipulated my wife to stop nursing our daughter. This was extremely easy as this meant that I could take care of her in the evenings and at night, so she didn’t have to, and she could also go out partying.
Then I told her I was seeing someone else. She forgave me in about two minutes and told me she wanted to stay together.
I left her. Now it’s been a while, we are divorced, I’m getting married to my coworker, legally adopting her daughter. She calls me ‘dad’. My daughter is with us 5 days out of 7. My ex started working and seems to be doing much better than before. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.
I know, I’m supposed to be pretty crappy, but in my mind, I just had to do it.
I had to leave that abusive jerk. I felt alone and found someone. There was no overlap, I didn’t even kiss my wife after I decided to pursue my coworker (which she didn’t even notice, by the way). Now my daughter and I live in a family where we can be happy. Soon she’ll have a little brother too.”
1. It Started When She Watched Me Play My Keyboard
“I haven’t been unfaithful per se but what I did was still messed up. I was the guy a girl was unfaithful with. I’ll preface the story by saying I was going through the beginning of a minor mental breakdown so morals weren’t exactly on my mind.
It started out meeting her in my apartment building randomly. There was pretty fast chemistry and she was super cute.
Still miss her to this day. That weekend was a men’s soccer game at my college and my roommate was talking to her about her life while I was talking to another friend. He found out she had a partner and she told him it was about to end but he had back surgery recently and she didn’t want to dump him in a hospital bed.
Jump to that night and four of us are in our apartment just chilling. My roommate and another friend are talking about going out but I was feeling this situation out. He left and it’s just me and her. We get to talking and flirting and I bring up her man. She says oh it’s a bad relationship…it’ll be over in a month…a week…a day.
After she said a day I was thinking this is happening.
I started playing my keyboard in order to cut the tension which just grew as she sat on the couch watching. She clearly wasn’t going to initiate and was silent even as I approached her just staring at me. But I just went for it. So there’s that.
It lasted 4 months until she was so stressed from the lies that her face broke out with acne and I cut it off because my mental health was getting better, I realized it was messed up and had to set my feelings aside and do the right thing.
Still miss being with her although I now realize we aren’t all that compatible and I also liked the consistency of being with her.”
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