Rich People Who Married Someone Poor Share What Surprised Them Most About Their Spouse

They say that opposites attract. Yet, many of us typically date and marry people we consider quite similar to us. Some of us might expect or even prefer to date someone who shares the same age, location, interests, preferences, graduating class, level of education, race, cultural background, religion or another spiritual belief system, and/or socioeconomic class. Although we might get less picky as we get older, we usually still have some sort of “ideal partner” checklist mentally set in place.

Sometimes, it truly can be easier to be with someone who shares a lot in common with us. For some of us, this means a lower chance of arguments.
We might even believe we’d be happier with someone we share commonalities with. However, there comes a point where we might have too much in common with someone, which could potentially bring boredom and stagnancy.
In reality, we can’t really “play God” with our future life partner, and quite frankly, we can’t help who we fall in love with. In my own case, I never thought I’d be engaged to someone younger than me who grew up with a different family structure and was generally raised in a different environment than me.

While our differences may cause disagreements and misconceptions at times, would I change anything? Absolutely not! For many couples, the opposites attract scenario certainly fits.

After all, there’s a big difference between couples who clash and couples who complement one another. Nevertheless, it’s interesting to see what challenges come across different couples and how they tackle them.
Below, you’ll come across some great stories shared by individuals who married or dated someone with a lower socioeconomic class than them.

In these stories, they explain what shocked them the most about their partner’s previous (or current) way of life due to their socioeconomic class.
It’s incredible to see how people of different financial upbringings can vary, and sometimes even complement one another, so much!

46. How Expensive His Lifestyle Actually Was

“Not ‘rich’ really, but I grew up firmly middle class and married an immigrant from a poor family.
I was surprised at just how expensive it is to be poor.

Planning ahead to limit long-term costs tends to cost more upfront, and his family just didn’t have enough money in a given month’s budget to do that.

For example, his family would go through paper towels like crazy and didn’t own any cloth kitchen towels. At first, I found this horribly wasteful, but it’s because a single roll of paper towels is much cheaper than a couple of kitchen towels.

Even though you’ll end up paying a lot more for the many rolls of paper towels, you’ll go through in the time it takes the cloth towels to wear out.

You just can’t justify the initial expense.

And it became a habit, so even when they were at my house, they would reach for the paper towels. Normally a roll of paper towels lasts me a month or two because I use cloth for most things. They’d easily go through a roll or two a week.

Same with pots and pans and any other durable household item – they would buy the crappy pans that only last a year or two, while I have Revere Ware pans that I inherited from my great-grandmother.

They also didn’t treat these items well, which caused them to wear out even faster.

I’m not sure why that was, maybe just because they had every expectation of needing to replace them, so squeezing out an extra couple of months of use wasn’t worth the time it takes to be careful.

ETA: We did have some really tight times while I was growing up, but since my mom already had a middle-class mentality going into those hard times, that translated into looking for more ways to save money – like buying second-hand kitchen towels for the cost of maybe 2 rolls of paper towels, and making things last longer (by repairing and/or treating gently), so you don’t have to re-buy as often.

People who are generationally poor often never learn this. And wealthier people who are just going through hard times assume they will get out of it.” sgarfio

45. How Frugal She Was With Milk

This story melts my heart!

“The first night my wife (then GF) moved in, she asked if she could have a glass of milk. I said, ‘Sure, you can always have anything. This is your house too.’ She then poured this very small bit into a tumbler and sat back to talk.

I must have looked at her weird because she said, ‘Did I pour too much?’ I told her, ‘No, drink all the milk you want.’ She then asked, ‘What if you run out?’ I told her I’d just get more.
I could see those two things didn’t coexist in her world. All the milk I want? Really?

Over the next two days, she demolished the best part of a couple of gallons. I’ve never seen someone so legitimately happy.

We’ve been married nearly 25 years, and I’ve always kept a box of powdered milk in our cupboard. We never use it but it helps us both remember and appreciate our situation.” agutg0postal

44. How Early He Had To Become Financially Independent

“I’m by no means rich and didn’t grow up rich, but my family was middle class growing up so I lived comfortably. On the other hand, my boyfriend grew up in poverty, spent a lot of his childhood in a trailer park, etc.

The big one for me is that he started working at 13 and was paid under the table. His parents bought him a sh*tty Saturn and made him drive to work and school at that age too. From that age on, he was financially responsible for anything beyond food and the roof over his head. School supplies, clothes, etc were all things he had to pay for. If the sh*tty Saturn broke down, he was responsible for paying for the repairs.

For this reason, he learned to work on cars and is actually quite the mechanic.

By comparison, I got my first job at 16 and while my parents made me pay for my own gas and any extra stuff I may have wanted, but they still covered the essentials and paid for some of my stuff that was non-essential.

As a result of his upbringing, he is an incredibly hard-working individual. He goes to school and works full time in a managerial position, and has even made the Dean’s List.

I’m so proud of him, and I can’t wait to see where he goes in life.

A more light-hearted quirky thing that he does as a result of his upbringing is that he only has one pair of shoes that he uses for everyday use, that he replaces every 4-5 months or so, usually Converse or Vans or their off-brand counterparts. I’m trying to convince him that having 2 pairs of shoes for everyday use would be useful, as it gives the other pair some time to breathe and then he wouldn’t have to replace them as often, but I think it’s falling on deaf ears, haha.” OatsRepresent

43. He Was Desensitized To A Dirty, Unsafe Environment

“He grew up in a very poor and seriously dirty house, like trash EVERYWHERE, dog poop scattered around even in the laundry piles.

I asked him to do the dishes one day, and he said, ‘Why? They’re just going to get dirty again.’ At his house, they kept all the dishes dirty in the sink instead of clean in the cupboards and just wash one when they need it.

His mom was a single mom to 3 kids and was in full-time school and full-time work, and none of the kids helped with any of the chores, and the mom never forced anyone to clean, so they never got done.

Now they are all desensitized to dirty environments which is really depressing. Their house is a nightmare.

So sad.

We are no longer together because of a lot of issues relating to the kind of environment he was raised in and expected to raise our baby in.” nothingtastesthesame

42. How She Perceives Pets

For many people who grew up less fortunate, they quickly learn to find the practicality in everything.

“Not my wife, she will be soon though, but she grew up poor, and one of the big ones is how she views animals.

Like dogs and cats? Sure, they’re pets. But they probably have a purpose; you don’t just love on them. Dogs protect your ***.* If it dies? So be it; you’ll find a new one.

Her home life when I started dating her was so much better than what it started out as, and she had a cat. She said, ‘I’ve had this cat for four years. It’s the longest I’ve ever owned an animal’ because they were either too poor to take the animal to the vet, or it just died because of some other reason.

That’s also why she thinks people treating pets like family is really, really weird.

‘You’re spending that kind of money on a dog????? What the heck?'” Widdrim

41. Spending Money Gave Him Serious Anxiety

“About to marry him. We met in college, and my parents paid for everything while he had student loans and a part-time job to pay for everything else.
If he was really hurting, his parents would transfer $40 into his account. But that was pretty rare and they’d give him heck if he asked.

He was always very anxious about spending money and never bought name brands. He would also buy essentials like toilet paper by 2 rolls at a time (1 ply only). He didn’t really realize that buying so little every few days was wasting money rather than buying in bulk. When we booked our first vacation (cheap road trip to Georgia), he couldn’t pay for anything and was worried the whole time. The anxiety that would keep him up at night made me so sad.

He still never fills up his gas tank all the way, only $10 at a time. Drives me nuts. But now we both have great full-time jobs, and he rarely has any anxiety. He never has to worry about money anymore and is so much happier as a result.” floop_unfloop

40. How Practical She Is

“I was shocked by how many tools her family could replace with a butter knife. I was also surprised by how they used the same cup for everything.

Each person’s cup was used for everything from coffee to wine to milk to beer. I’ve come to appreciate many aspects of my wife’s previous lifestyle.
I find I’m much less stressed now knowing how unimportant material things are.

One thing I can’t accept, though, is how she used to put safety second. For example, no outlet covers on outlets, no railing on stairs, standing on a makeshift laser to grab things from a high shelf, etc.

I should add I’m not what most would consider rich… However, I was absolutely comparatively rich.

I’m also proud to say my wife now makes more than me – get it girl!” kbaltimore22

39. He Never Wanted Me For My Money

If someone truly loves you, your financial status won’t be the mere reason they choose to stay or leave the relationship.
“Not necessarily this situation but my family was wealthy when I was growing up and it allowed me to be frivolous even as an adult living in a different country with a full-time job.

I didn’t realize how dependent I still was to them until they lost everything last year. My partner grew up saving every cent and had to provide everything for himself. When I told him my family lost everything, I was certain he wouldn’t want to stick around even after 7 years. Why would he stay if I couldn’t treat us to movies and restaurants and vacations (really shows you how messed up our perspective can be when we put such a premium on those luxuries)?
But he rolled up his sleeves and has helped us navigate real financial scarcity for the first time in our lives without judgment or condemnation.

I don’t know what we would have done without him, and I am grateful for his support every day.” SierraSeaWitch

38. He Had To Catch Frogs To Eat At The Age Of 7

“My husband grew up poor in the hollers of West Virginia. Both his parents were alcoholics. When he was about 7-years-old, they disappeared for 4 days and left just half a loaf of bread and some ketchup in the house; the bread was gone by the second night.

He remembered seeing TV shows where people ate frog legs, so, he took a kitchen knife and went into the woods to look for frogs.
He found two, killed them, and cut their legs off and cooked them over a fire he made. He said he was crying when he ate them because the legs seemed like they were still moving, but he was so hungry he didn’t know what else to do.

He still gets nervous when food in the house gets low.

I feel like I should also mention we’re both vegetarians.” IzyVonGuggenmooser

37. She Thought All Rich People Only Bought Luxury Brands

Some wealthy people live very frugal lives and have no interest in “labels” at all.

“My wife genuinely thought, and her family still does, that there is a direct relationship between someone’s net worth and the labels they purchase.
If someone doesn’t have a Gucci bag or a Rolex watch, why, it’s because they can’t afford it! My wife was astonished when I first told her that people exist that are ultra-wealthy and yet drive old cars and wear clothes without labels.” markjohnjacobsjingle
36. Spending Money Was Hard For Her

“My girlfriend is not a generous gift-giver.

I know this is not typical of poor people (who, on average, give a higher percentage of their income to charity than any other group in the US), but she is very stingy. I had to explain to her that she’s a doctor in a small town now, so she should tip 20% instead of exactly 15% down to the penny.

I showed her how much I was giving to my friend for his wedding ($200), and she was shocked I was giving that much (it was an expensive wedding, and I got to bring a date).

One of the best things about being rich/upper middle class is that you can afford to be generous with people, and I think that she had a problem doing that because she worked very hard for everything she ever got, while I see myself as just a fortunate person for being born into a family that helped support me. Sure, I worked hard in dental school too, but my background gave me an advantage.

On the flip side, I do appreciate how frugal she is.

We both clip coupons, look for deals, buy in bulk, cook meals at home, and rarely treat ourselves. Even at a gas station she would look at a diet coke and say, ‘$1.79? I can get a 24 pack for $10.99,’ whereas I would just buy it because I’m thirsty, and I’ll pay for convenience.

She adapted to her higher income well, she didn’t start blowing it all on expensive cars and vacations, but I had to teach her to let go of certain hangups when it comes to spending money.

I tell her it’s okay to get a nicer shampoo, buy an extra towel so she has more than one, and most importantly, it’s okay to be a bit more generous, especially with her family. I’m glad they don’t expect her to support them, and conversely, also don’t get upset at her spending more money (I’ve heard this happens with frugal families). Her gifts are still practical; she still knows the value of a dollar, but at least now she understands that she doesn’t need to get upset with herself for giving more than the absolute minimum.” smaug777000

35. How Grateful She Was To Buy Non-Necessities At The Grocery Store

“I was in my late 30s, recently separated and was dating a single woman the same age.

She lived in a modest, one-bedroom apartment, lived within her means and generally presented as middle class. One day, I notice she has very little food at the house, so I suggest we go to the market. She says she can’t until she gets paid, so I said, ‘Hop in the car.’ We get to the market, and I start filling the cart with stuff to eat and have on the shelves. Nothing that extravagant.

I look over and she is balling like a baby.

I ask what’s up. She replies, ‘I’ve never in my life been able to go in the market and just get anything I want.’

I was taken aback.

There was about $120 worth of food in the cart. No filet mignon, no shrimp, just regular groceries.

Fast forward ten years, she lives with me and goes to Whole Foods three times a week!” BostonSpartan

34. Eating Off The Dollar Menu Is Luxury To Him

“My family is far from rich, but I grew up closer to the upper-middle-class realm and was making 3x as much as my now-husband when we met.

He grew up extremely poor, and his family is still living that way.

One big difference is how he’s surprised that my parents pick up the check when we go out to celebrate a birthday or a graduation, and that my parents ask him to pick whatever restaurant he wants.

Outside of the ritziest steakhouse in town, they don’t care. To his family, a big meal out is going to McDonald’s and not eating off the dollar menu.

I’m serious.” scthoma4

33. They Were Raised Based On Empathy

“I grew up in a rich family and married someone who grew up dirt poor. I guess what really took me a long time to get used to was genuine empathy. Actually empathizing with emotion instead of etiquette, making moral decisions in the moment based on how it might actually make the other person feel. My family is a bunch of stoics. They act based on set rules and think that emotion is stupid and should be ignored entirely.” Mogusaurus
32. She Had To Share A Bed With Her Parents

Many children grow up sharing bedrooms with their siblings, but to share a bed with your parents as a teenager is rough.

“I’m an upper-middle-class guy from the NY metropolitan area suburbs. Not rich, but closer to rich than poor. One day I was telling my girlfriend about how my brother and I had to get separate bedrooms as kids because we would always fight. I said I hated being in my room alone but I couldn’t tolerate my brother either. She said she could relate. She didn’t like sharing a bed with her parents throughout her childhood and teens.

She always helped remind me of my privilege. I mean, I know people who are poor, but not ‘sharing a bed with your parents’ poor.” willwillwell
31. He Grew Up With No Plumbing Or Toilet Paper

“I’m not rich at all, but my husband came from a very poor Mexican village.
He told me he used to shower outside (because there was no in-house plumbing) and use leaves as toilet paper. I mean, there’s poor, and there’s my husband’s-previous-life poor.

He’s been living in the US for 12 years now, but when we first met, it was so interesting seeing life through his child-like eyes. Going to the cinema was a huge event for him. Heating food up in a microwave was a totally foreign concept. And staying at fancy hotels when we went on vacation was like WOAH. I still see him surprised by things now and then, and it just reminds me how much I take my middle-status class for granted.” uselessartsdegree

30. Making Enough For Rent Is An Huge Accomplishment For Him

 

“My significant other said, ‘Today I made rent,’ meaning, ‘Today I’ve earned enough/accumulated enough to pay the rent,’ and I realized that this is a monthly accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.” colombodk
Another User Comments:
“Making rent is a huge relief.

The other horrible part of having an unpredictable income is that when you try to get your financial **** together, all the budgeting advice assumes that you get the same amount each week, or at least close enough to work off an average. It made me feel really hopeless when I was there.” Rabbit_Mom
29. His Lack Of Budgeting

While some of us make financial decisions based on our future, those who are struggling financially are often more concerned with making it day by day.

Financially preparing for the future is often considered a bonus.

“He was making good money but came from a poor family.
One thing that surprised me was the lack of budgeting, no knowledge of a 401k/RothIRA. Retirement seemed like something that he’d never get to do. So, even though he made good money, he was starting to rack up credit card debt.

Now he’s much better at it than I am. He adores budgeting and looks forward to FIRE.” kyrira1789

28. How Many Things He Can Do By Hand

“Not married, but dating. (I’m in college for reference.) I’m the daughter of a multi-millionaire, and I never knew just how many things were easily doable by hand.

He did an oil change for me the other day, and I feel kinda cheated that I used to pay so much for it.” ResurgentRS
accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.” colombodk
Another User Comments:
“My boyfriend is a mechanic and just overall handy.
It blows my mind how much I’ve saved because he can just fix things. My dryer broke, and I was stressed about having to buy a new one. He fixed it in 40 mins. When he was done, he said I was staring at him like he had just done magic.” pepperedcitrus
27. How Well She Cares For Her Belongings

We typically take our belongings for granted more than we realize.

“I’m not really rich, but I definitely grew up being handed everything and well-off. My wife grew up pretty poor.

Something I’ve noticed over the years is her attachment and care she puts into things she owns.

If she bought it with her own money, no matter how big or small, she treats it like it’s the only one she will ever have. Don’t get me wrong, I treat my own things well too, but in the back of my mind, I always think along the lines of, ‘If I crash this car or if I break this phone, my parents will get me another one.’ To this day, I still feel like I have a safety net no matter what happens.

When we go grocery shopping, she just wants to always get the bare minimum that we need for the week while I want to put everything I see in the cart like I did when I was a kid.

I imagine this stems from her going grocery shopping as a child and having very strict rules as to what she could get.” hrdrockdrummer

26. She Didn’t Understand The Value Of Saving Money

The problem is, a lot of things in life that are more affordable and easily-obtainable upfront (e.g., renting a car/home versus buying a car/home) are usually more expensive in the long run.

This leaves a lot of people in a messy cycle of financial problems.
“Her family didn’t have a future, still don’t. They live paycheck to the last paycheck with no retirement savings. They don’t own any houses, cars have leases that are more than the car is worth, all are on some form of assistance…

The biggest difficulty is helping her see why we need to save money for cars and houses and retirement.

I had to put her on an allowance because she would spend until she saw zero.” afranko22

25. She Believes A Bottle Of Body Wash Should Last Six Months

When money is tight, you make sure things last as long as possible.

“I come from a triple-income (both parents work, plus partial ownership of several large-scale ranches run by my grandfather) family of four that lived in a medium town. We were ~5%ers nationally, but because of the town we lived in rural Missouri, we were solidly upper class. I just graduated college, so I’ve been on my family’s income my whole life, but I’ll be going financially independent after we move this summer.

My 3-year girlfriend comes from a single-income family of seven that lived in a moderately-sized city, so she always struggled.

Now, she has over $10,000 saved up, but still lives with her ‘growing up poor’ lifestyle.

For me, it’s the amount of soap she uses. You know those big bottles of Equate/Suave body wash that cost like $1.88 at Walmart? She literally gags every time I put my hearty dollop on the pouf. She places approximately six molecules of soap on when she goes to wash and says, ‘This thing should last us six months. We’ve used half the bottle in a month.’ Like spending $1 a month on soap is some alien concept to her.

She also got a good laugh when we went back to my home and my mom said to me, ‘You were always the frugal child. You’re very good with our money,’ because apparently, spending $40 a week on fast food lunches is ‘frugal’ to my mom but ‘excessive’ to my girlfriend. She thinks I’m lavish while my mom thinks I’m thrifty. An interesting juxtaposition, that always is.” ZigZag3123

24. How Restricted His Diet Was

“I’m not rich but I’m pretty middle class with parents that believe in family-oriented meals with homecooked food and fresh fruit and veg.

My boyfriend was very poor and lived with his drug addict mom who barely looked after him.

I was so surprised that he hadn’t ever tried some of my favorite foods like avocado, sweet potato, kiwis, etc. He was confused when he first visited my house (I was still living with my parents) and we sat down and had a meal together with my parents. He would just have microwave meals in his bedroom when he grew up.

He also had a bit of a sugar addiction when we first met (he had just moved out to university) because his mom didn’t regulate the number of sweets and sugary drinks he had. He was surprised that I had never tried some types of soda and I rarely ate sweets.

My parents weren’t exactly strict with sugary things but they just didn’t buy them, I had fruit and water instead and only had sweets on special occasions like Easter, Halloween, Christmas, etc.” peachychamomile

23. He Had To Eat Expired Food

“I wasn’t ‘rich,’ but I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted.

I kept getting frustrated that my husband wouldn’t eat leftovers or any food that had just been waiting in the cabinet (like shelf-stable things we’d bought a few months ago). I finally had to just talk to him about it. I can’t make big meals if you refuse to heat meat a second time.

Found out it’s because he had to eat food past its date because it’s all they had. Even though those foods were probably just fine, he still connected that to a bad thing since they couldn’t afford new.

Now I’m trying to reframe it as we could afford the new, but there’s no need to most of the time.” sparksfly

22. How Creative You Must Be When You’re Poor

“I grew up in the 3% where I never went hungry. I just always had food in the house. My favorite meal was duck for ****** sake.

But now that I’m my own man and live with my girlfriend, I learned that I don’t have to eat three meals a day.

If I can get by with just a granola bar, that’s great.
Did you know you can grocery shop at the Dollar Store? I didn’t know that.

Also didn’t know what it’s like just not having a backup plan. I’m it if I don’t make enough to pay my bills, I’m done.

I’m actually in the processing of joining the Navy Reserves, so I can get that extra paycheck and go to school.

Being poor is being very creative.” DesertPack

21. He Had To Pay For His Own Activities Growing Up

“Not super rich per se, but I came from an upper-middle-class family.

Not long after my husband and I married, we were going through our separate stuff to figure out what we needed and what we should keep.
In a box, he had every yearbook from high school. I asked him if he wanted to get rid of them. When he said no, I looked at him confused. ‘I had to pay for those with my own money.’ This astounded me. Not only did he have to pay for his yearbooks but every field trip, youth trip, or extra activity he had to pay for with his money that he made mowing lawns.

My brain could not compute that there were parents that did not pay for their children’s activities.” eharward90

accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.” colombodk
Another User Comments:
“I did not go to my own high school graduation or have senior photos because my family could not afford it.
I never even asked. I worked, but my money had to go toward car insurance and food. Never went to prom or other school events, but I was on newspaper and yearbook staff.

My photo was never published in the yearbook because I never had photos taken. There are a lot of kids like I was. It taught me some good life lessons early.” merkins4u

20. He Never Thought People Could Care About Him

When you live by the phrase, “Love doesn’t pay the bills,” you tend to become almost desensitized to love. At times, you may forget that people have the capacity to genuinely care for you.
“When he moved in with me after home hopping as a teen, he didn’t understand why my mother cried at his graduation.

Or why my dad gets mad when his phone is dying (for emergencies). Overall, he doesn’t understand when people care about him. Or people who care. He thought they were being nice or just adults because he couldn’t fathom that they love him or see him as a son.” Kelly_Flores
19. He Never Got To Go On Vacation

I think it’d be such an honor to take someone on their very first vacation!

“I fell in love with my uni best friend who really didn’t have any money.

When I got a job, for my birthday, I decided to plan a holiday and offered to bring him along. It didn’t even occur to me that this was the first-ever holiday he’d ever taken. His family could never afford it growing up, and he’d never really thought to do it as an adult.” Circephone

18. She’d Couldn’t Afford To Fully Fill Up Her Gas Tank

“I grew up in a middle-class family. I have been dating a girl for 10 years that grew up poor-ish.

When we first started dating, she would get gas for her car $10 every few days, even though she had the money to fill it and be done with it.
It never made sense to me, and frankly, in the winter where we live, it can be dangerous to not have a near-full tank if you get stuck.
We fought about it since I thought it was dumb to drive around near-empty. She yelled at me, ‘That’s the way you do it.

You put in a little in case you need the money for something else.’ That took me back. I had always taken for granted just filling the tank with no concern, never considering that I might need money over gas in the coming days. It really put things in perspective for me.
10 years later, I feel like she is more secure in our life together, and I have become a better person because of her and her different perspective on things.” 54637784848
17. He Had To Play With Rocks

“My husband grew up in China and later came to the US.

He told me that he played with rocks as a kid (while I had Barbie’s entire world including her horse, sports car, and mansion).

It didn’t really hit me in any way because, by the time we met, he and his family were very well off. His dad is a neurologist, and his mom is a comp developer.

They live in a million-dollar home. My husband is an engineer, and we live comfortably as well. He pretty much buys whatever he wants now, so it’s actually hard to give him gifts.

I say all this to paint the image that on the surface; it seems like playing with rocks is worlds behind him.

We are currently expecting a baby girl and recently went to a big baby sale event. Even though it’ll be a few years before she can play with it, we bought her a cute set of wooden veggies. It was kinda a joke because my husband hates salads, and his daughter will be making him pretend to eat them.

As we were standing in line to pay for it, my husband casually says, ‘Even though I don’t like veggies, this set is pretty cool… I wish I had this instead of rocks.’ Cue the hormonal preggo lady tears. Even his life is so good now, I wish I could go back in time and change it so he didn’t have to play with rocks as a kid. Of course, my husband then says it’s fine, and he’s happy that he can give his daughter a better life.

Cue more tears…” vvml

16. She Watered Down Her Shampoo To Save Money

Meanwhile, many of us are very wasteful of these products that others would never take for granted.
“I met my wife in college. I knew she was working hard to cover costs. It wasn’t until she told me how she carefully cut all her shampoo with water to make it last longer that I realized how hard she was struggling with the costs. My family wasn’t really rich, but my parents were covering 100% of the cost of my college without borrowing.” questfor17

15. He Thought Buying A New Mattress Was A Waste

“My husband and I came from very different backgrounds, and it crops up in weird ways all the time.

When we first got married, we were given a bedroom set from a family member.
We slept on it for a while, but I wanted to get a new mattress as I felt it wasn’t comfortable. He kept insisting it was fine and that a new mattress was a waste.
I kept complaining, and he finally let me know the mattress he has at his parents’ house was so sh*tty, he cut it open and put phone books in it to avoid getting stabbed by broken springs.

I felt terrible, as our mattress was not actively stabbing me. But I eventually convinced him we could afford to buy a new mattress, and he thankfully loves it. I’ve learned over the years to be patient with him as he adjusts to not having to worry all the time about money.” midwestemily

 

14. He Realized She Was Panicking Over The Cost, Not The Accident

“Throwaway because I don’t put this kind of info on my real account.

40ish now. Met now-wife, in our early 30s. I **don’t* have* *** you money but I’m well paid. Grew up upper middle class and was making a few bucks shy of 6 figures by the time we met. She grew up in poverty, homeless at times and dad went awol when she was 10. She had gotten associates working full time but was making mid-20s in a *** paying field when we met.

We both got a lot of lessons about how the other half deals with finances, but our first co-owned car was a serious trip for both of us.

We weren’t married yet but we were headed there.
I suggested we get her a new car and get a view into what sounds like a dystopian nightmare.

She thinks I mean a 10-year-old injury-trap to replace her 20-year-old deathtrap. I’m imagining a shining chariot of airbags, crumple zones and anti-lock brakes.

She’s telling stories about being bullied by car salesmen into the only thing she could afford upfront because even if she could get a loan for something better, the interest rate would basically be usury.

When we go to buy it, she sees what it’s like to buy a car when you have high credit high income and the ability to walk away.
We basically walk in and I say, ‘This is what I want. This is the cost my credit union pre-negotiated with your boss. If you want me to finance you tell me your best rate and I’ll tell you if it’s good enough.’ We walk out with a 0.9% loan we’ll pay off a few months later, just to pump her credit score.

The real lesson was still to come though, 6 months later.

There was a nasty storm and she’s in an accident. It’s totaled. Another car is totaled. 2 other cars are damaged. In her world, life was basically over. My phone rings and it’s her sobbing, ‘I crashed the car.
I ruined it. It’s broken. Everything is ruined.’

I’m instantly an adrenaline-fueled panic machine. I can hear a siren blaring in the background. She’s sobbing. She must be injured.

Over and over I’m asking where they’re taking her while running around the house grabbing wallet/keys/etc and banging on my neighbor’s door to ask if I can borrow their car.

For a good minute, we’re just talking past each other. Then she hears what I’m asking.

“I’m at xxx whatever lane. The car is ruined. The other car is ruined. I’m not hurt. I might have a bruise on my shoulder tomorrow. My glasses are broken.”

That’s when it hits me, the only insurance she’s ever dealt with before is state minimum liability.

She’s worried about the cost. But when we got the car, we added collision and 250/500/250, and I added her to my liability umbrella.

Approximately 8,000 barrels of adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream vaporizes. This is fine.

‘Call the insurance company. They’ll pay for everything. Make sure you tell them about the shoulder in case you have to go to the doctor. They’ll probably pay for new glasses too. I’ll be there in 20 minutes.’

Had a new car in the driveway a week later.” OfficialControlGroup

13. She Wanted To Be With Him, But They Aren’t The Same

“I had a vacation planned once with my SO but we ended up breaking up prior to going.

I decided I wasn’t going to cancel, and asked a few different friends if they would like to go with me. Ended up taking a girl I was mildly interested in, who lived across the country. I had known her for a few years but we never met in person.

Anyway, we were making a trip down the coast of California with a variety of stops along the way. One of them was Monterrey Bay aquarium. So there we are sitting at the Oyster Bar which has this amazing view of Monterrey Bay and I look over at her and she says, ‘I’ve never seen the ocean before’ with the same tone of voice you might say, ‘I need to have a root canal.’ I realized a couple of things at that moment, just how poor she really was and how different our lives had been, how big a deal this little meaningless trip to me was to her, and how totally messed up she was emotionally.

I later found out she had in fact never left her home town, never been on an airplane until then, never been to a theme park of any kind (we spent a few days at Disneyland), and I just felt absolutely horrible for her. My family had periods of overabundance and extreme poverty so I had experienced both ways of life, but it struck me that even though I knew what poverty was, I didn’t know what ONLY poverty was.

I’d had bad times sure, but I had also had really good times, really great memories, she did not. Everyone in her life had user her and thrown her away, and she was just broken.
I cared about her, but I realized I didn’t really love her. I wanted to make her life better, but I knew that while we had a lot of fun, we were just two very different people with almost nothing in common and a totally different perspective on the world.

She had serious emotional problems she needed to work through, and it wasn’t something I could fix for her by throwing money around. We parted ways on good terms. I’m glad I got to give her an experience that I like to think gave her a reason to focus on herself and work through things, but I will never know because once she got back home she totally cut off contact with me.
I heard through a friend that while she acted like she understood and felt the same, she, in fact, didn’t and was devastated by it not working out between us.

It still bothers me today that I couldn’t help her more, and I don’t know what happened to her (I’ve tried to find out with no success, it’s like she dropped off the face of the planet).

Anyway, if she’s reading this, I’d really love to just know that you are ok.” Laszerus

12. He Made Sure She Understood How To Budget – Even If He Had To Do It For Her At The Start

“My fiancé grew up extremely poor.

I grew up pretty wealthy, had two cars in high school, went to private schools, had anything I could ask for. We snowboarded every winter and went boating every summer. Traveled the world with my family. She grew up without a bed, eating rice every day, sometimes no food, or no home for a long time, couch surfing with different families. She had no insurance, nobody to watch over her from very early on. She didn’t sleep in a bed that was hers until she was 18.

It’s kind of amazing she survived.

But now that we’ve been together a long time, there are a couple of things that really stand out.
One, she’s very insecure. It makes sense though, she had zero security her entire life. Now she panics thinking I’m going to leave her over the smallest thing and it scares her because this is the steadiest things have ever been for her. Second, she’s really bad with money. She has the urge to constantly buy things she doesn’t need.

No idea how to save or plan for the future. She’s never had any more than a few dollars at a time before so that money just disappears as soon as she gets it.

So now I handle all the money and planning and stuff.
I just tell her to give me X amount of each paycheck and take care of everything else. She can spend the rest. I’ve taught her as much as I can about how the world of finance works, but some of it doesn’t click.

I helped her get through college. First in her family to graduate so that was a big deal. And now we’ve settled into a nice routine.

But she still is reminded every day how poor she was. She still thanks me constantly for giving her a normal life. She’s so happy every day that we just have furniture and a car and food in the fridge.
It’s kind of nice to be able to give her that. It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever really understand, to not have access to food or shelter?” rhlSF

11. His Poor Dad Always Put The Family First

“Not really marrying into a rich family (my parents are still together) but my dad still keeps his old ways.

Growing up with 6 kids and a low income, my father would always eat last. Youngest 3 would go first, next three and my mom, then him. He would always take the leftovers from everyone else and made his meal with that. Leftover rice and chicken or whatever was cooked.
He’d gnaw on chicken bones that the younger ones didn’t finish and eat the cartilage of that. He’d do that with pork chop bones too (although those were rare because we couldn’t afford more than chicken most of the time).

Now that three of us are adults and have moved out, my mom and pop have a little extra since they don’t have to pay for us. But they still live the way they’ve been accustomed to. My dad still eats last and still chews on bones. I’ve tried taking them out to a restaurant (nothing too fancy – local food chain kind) and they order food.
My dad waits for my mom to be halfway through then takes whatever bones she has left and trades them for whatever meat he has on his plate.

I respect him a lot for his eating decisions when we were growing up because he wanted to make sure we were well fed. I just wish he’d eat a little more now.

Much love for my father.” pillowtag

10. They’ve Adjusted Their Standard Of Living

“I have a fun perspective on this because I’ve been in both positions: I come from a wealthy background (think 1%, maybe 0.1% family-wise, and I am making 100k+ in my early twenties) but I have dated a billionaire’s daughter in the past while my current GF is working class.

When I was dating a super rich girl, I think the weirdest aspect for me was reminding her constantly of the value of money and how her standard of living was unreasonable. As in, maybe we should not bring a 150$ bottle of wine to a dinner party. At that level of wealth, people lose sight of reality and make really dumb financial decisions.

On the other hand, now the weirdest aspect for me is just the fact that I feel awkward forcing my spending patterns on my GF.

Like, we are in an egalitarian relationship and so it feels weird to pay for everything, but at the same time I want to spend my money and I cannot expect her to keep pace with me when she has no savings.
It’s constantly walking a fine line between making sure that I don’t force her into an uncomfortable position and living the way I want to. Fortunately, I like being frugal and saving money so this is never a huge deal.” melograno1234

9. Health Is The Ultimate Wealth

“My ex-boyfriend needed a root canal.

It was causing him a ton of pain but he just couldn’t afford it. I was worried he was going to get a serious infection so I went ahead and paid for the procedure. Afterward, I asked when he was going to get his crown and he looked at me like I was crazy.
I guess he just thought he was healthy now so he would just have the stubby tooth. I made him a follow up appointment and he got a porcelain crown.

I always considered dental work (and the most expensive cosmetically appealing fix) to be a necessity and not a luxury. I’m a lot more grateful now. We aren’t together but I’m very happy he could leave our relationship with a nice tooth. haha” lollipocket3

XX. He Missed Out On A Few Things, So They Tackle Life Together

“I’m not rich by any means, but grew up middle-middle class..lived in a modest house in a nice neighborhood.
My SO is a child of immigrants and definitely grew up poor.

I bought a house and we moved in together at the same time. For a while it really bothered me that he wasn’t on top of all the things around the house that I otherwise would have considered ‘man’ type chores, like cutting the grass, fixing a hole in the wall, hanging shelves, or knowing what to do when something broke. I would get embarrassed when people asked me why we haven’t done such and such things yet with the house, or ‘why can’t you just get him to do it?’

I finally had to remind myself that this is literally the first house he’s ever lived in.

He grew up in an assortment of apartments. Also, his dad passed away when he was young. He’s never had any reason to learn how to do those things, and no one ever taught him. It’s all just not on his radar.

Long story short, we’ve now settled into our roles around the house, and when it comes to bigger more complicated projects, I’m usually the one tackling them first, or we sit down and watch some YouTube videos together on the topic and have a tag-team approach to the problem.

I’m not a big believer in traditional gender roles anyway.” Goodatgrowingplants

8. Family First Then Money

“I come from a pretty well off family (100k+ annual family income) and my soon to be wife comes from a family that has had instances where they didn’t eat for a week (I can’t give an income figure because half the time they don’t have one, and the other half it’s so far below the poverty line it hardly counts).
I lived with her family for a while, and besides the obvious (very little food, eating leftovers for probably far too long) I’ve noticed the absolutely amazing amount of ingenuity her family has.

Fixing things almost McGyver-style with what I would have considered trash, finding ways to feed an entire family on an almost $0 budget, creating entertainment from practically nothing.

Sure it’s ‘redneck engineering’  but it’s quite impressive. Also their response to a crisis. Day to day they’re relatively useless in helping out (‘I need a ride to X,’ ‘Oh I don’t want to/have the money to’) but if someone is injured, sick, or you’re about to lose the house, or a pipe just exploded, the family comes out of the woodwork and fixes the *** out of the problem.

Their connection to family is like nothing I’ve ever witnessed. I love my mom and dad, and I call them probably once or twice a week, but my girlfriend, her mother, cousins, sister etc., are constantly connected, even when they’re having their infamous drama fueled fights.” Anwhaz

7. She Helped Him See That There Is Room For Little Luxuries Sometimes

“I’m from a more solid financial background than my other half thought it was a lower-middle-class at best.

There’d always be $70/week for groceries, etc. but if the truck broke down, my father was fixing it himself after my uncle drove him to the parts store and a junkyard with an emergency credit card.
Not so much for my other half who was abandoned by one parent with addiction and raised by the other and an alcoholic.

He will literally eat anything. I ask what he likes when I’m making a grocery list or getting ready to make dinner and he couldn’t express a preference until recently because he wasn’t used to having options– you figured something out from what came in the box from the pantry at the church.

I’ve always got options. Granted, they’re often cheap (Spanish tomato rice and beans, mac and cheese, baked pasta marinara, etc.) but there are at least 2 things I can make and usually 2 kinds of frozen vegetables.
Now that we’ve been doing this about a year, he’s starting to learn he can ask about things and I can make them happen. Mac n cheese with bratwurst? Sure thing! Frosted animal cookies aren’t just a ‘It’s your birthday,’ special purchase.

I tend to get a bag a month to toss in the pantry for snacks or to put in his lunch. He gets excited about the cereal aisle. This last trip was Honeycomb and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He spent 10 minutes deciding because we had room in the grocery budget for 2 kinds, not just 1. (He can’t stand Cheerios.
Burnt out on them.)

He still gets a little gooey that someone actually loves him enough and is financially stable enough to pack him a lunch.

Sandwich meat isn’t a perfect circle of some mostly pink color with supposedly different flavors and cheese can be orange and square or round and white with hot peppers, or pale cream with holes, not just shiny yellow squares in plastic film that drip oil if they get left in the sun. Deli turkey and chicken seem to throw him off with the consistency, so we still go through more bologna and salami for sandwiches. If I get roast beef, though, he crushes it (roast beef, pepper jack, creamy horseradish spread on soft whole-grain bread and his eyes light up).

He also laughs at me for ‘spoiling’ his dog with toys. The dog had never had a squeaky toy before I moved in, but the dog is also so attached to him (and so protective of food and water) that he needed something else to do. This dog goes NUTS for something he can throw around in the air and bury in the laundry basket. My other half doesn’t see the point of spending $5 on something that’s just going to get destroyed, but it’s entertainment for the dog and for us and with us both working, we don’t have to worry about $5 every two weeks for 3 of us to have some fun.

****, we’ll even get really crazy and rent a Red Box movie now and then!

He’s still getting used to that idea that there’s a little extra money most weeks for something ‘luxurious’ like $1 bag of animal cookies and a squeaky cactus dog toy, and he’s allowed to pick it, not the controlling selfish ‘adult’ with the substance abuse problem, so it’s a double whammy of no financial responsibility and no ethical or emotional responsibility where the kids were concerned to cut through.

I don’t even want to ever be as wealthy as some of the people posting here. I just want us to always be so stable that my other half becomes used to the idea of having and deserving options.” BeckyDaTechie

6. Her Husband Knows The Questions To Ask Yourself

“I can answer this one! I did not grow up rich by any means but I would say my family was upper-middle class.
My husband was born in Nicaragua and eventually moved to Texas where his mother barely scraped by supporting him and his brother.

Some of the things that surprised me:

He never eats snacks. Ever. They didn’t have food in their kitchen and he would go hungry sometimes. He said once they had an egg in the kitchen and he scrambled it and split it with his brother while his mom hungrily looked on. Now as an adult he doesn’t understand ‘snacking.’ If we eat a banana he thinks that is our next meal?

He is very impressed with smaller things in life.

He had 1 toy as a kid (truck) and now, anything I get him he thinks is the most amazing thing in the world.
He saves everything.

He is the hardest worker I know. He never wants to be where he was.

He is the most grateful, optimistic person I know. We’ve been having some problems (family drama, trying to sell our house, work stuff etc.). He is not afflicted by any of it, he is cool as a cucumber.

He always says, ‘Did you eat today?’ ‘Do you have a place to sleep??’ ‘Does someone love you?’…. ‘Then you are better than most people.'”

I dearly love him. He makes me see the world in a different, better way.” pinkjellyatnoon

5. He Dated A 1%er

“I dated a 1%er while I was in college, I met her at a bar.
We broke up because she did not understand that I couldn’t see her every day/whenever she wanted. I had a typical schedule of a college student, daily classes and an internship as well as club obligations.

While her schedule was: soul cycle in the morning, yoga in the day, some random cooking class/mixed with whatever she wanted to do. Her family dynamics were such that so she literally did not have to work at all, ever in her life.

She did not understand that I couldn’t just see her randomly on a weekday when I had classes and an internship I had to attend during the daytime.
Which is why she broke up with me because I didn’t make it a priority to see her every day.” ThatMoslemGuy

4. Lessons About How To Use A Credit Card Should Be taught In Schools

“Credit cards were avoided.

For me growing up, we were encouraged to get a credit card in our name and use it as much as possible in order to build credit. There was always money to pay it off each month, so it made sense to 1) build credit and 2) collect airline miles or whatever the reward was back in the day.

When we got together, she always used cash or a debit card.
She had a credit card ‘for emergencies’ and avoided using it otherwise.

It took a long time to get her over her aversion/skepticism (we were fortunate to have two good-paying jobs), though it also taught me a healthy appreciation for what it means to have a financial cushion.” frnoss

3. They Both Have Very Different Ways Of Viewing Money

“We are not rich by any means currently. I came from a comfortable post-war middle class, and I married into a scary broke family, and hooo boy money attitudes are whack.

My attitudes towards money: Money comes and goes, there are ways to get more of it, cash is handy to have around, you should have some kind of interest-bearing savings account, don’t have a credit card that’s got a higher limit than what you have saved, keep your credit lines mostly paid off, automate as much as you can, clip coupons and shop sales, if it’s old and it works keep using it, hoarding isn’t always a bad thing, staying at a job with good benefits is better than bailing to an unknown job, a big chunk of land with a trailer on it is better than a condo in the city, hobbies should either improve your life or make things you can use or sell.

My spouse’s attitudes towards money: money is an absolute necessity if we don’t have money we are going to starve if we have money we should spend it before it evaporates, coupons are for rich people who can waste time and space plotting stupid toothpaste purchases and storing extra toothpaste (actual quote), you should know how much money you have at all times (also a quote), used cars are about to break, new cars are only good for about five years, cash in the house will get you robbed, tattoos are a good investment because they can’t be stolen easily, living in the countryside is stupid because there’s no libraries or movie theaters or people, you should fantasize daily about how to get rich (another quote), scratch-offs are a good hobby because you can fantasize about getting rich (also a quote).

The environments that created these attitudes could not have been more different. I spent a lot of time growing up around people who had lived through the Depression and WWII, and the hoarding was ever-present and sometimes thrifty (we had a matched set of Country Crock leftover containers, etc), and the attitudes about money were fairly relaxed. Everyone had at some point **** near starved (eating household pets was a funny story to tell the grandkids).

Everyone had gotten a good job after a war they survived and sent their kids off to college with the wages from their good job or their retirement or their pension.
There was a ton of unjustified classism (why doesn’t so-and-so down the road just get a good union job like I did), but they were all fairly comfortable middle-class homeowners in their own eyes. The fridge was full. The cars usually ran. Danger was something you had to drive quite a ways to get to.

My spouse, on the other hand, bounced around from place to place, spent his childhood fleeing eviction, poverty, violence, the consequences of his parents’ various addictions, personality disorders, PTSD and substance dependencies. There were long periods of food insecurity and scary events. There was some institutionalization. Prized possessions got broken in drunken fits of rage or abusive outbursts, stolen by junkie neighbors, destroyed by angry playmates, or left in trash bags on the curb during another eviction.

Credit cards were to be used to start over again and then defaulted on. Taxes went unpaid and unfiled for years. Jobs were objects of resentment. The spouse’s mom luckily found a boyfriend at a bar who had a house in a nice suburb, so the spouse got to go to middle and high school in a quiet, fairly upscale school district. They lived after the inevitable breakup in the cheapest apartments in the school district with a different dude-who-had-a-job.

The spouse started working for cash at 13, which is younger than the legal working age in this state, so that he could contribute to the rent and pay the electric bill, to keep the lights on.
Working eighty hours a week (instead of doing homework) is better in the immediate sense than waking up in the silent stifling dark at noon, late for school with a week’s worth of food gone bad in the fridge.

Meanwhile, I was blissfully bopping along flunking classes and drinking and expecting a free ride to college anyway.

Now here we are many many years later, and I am the overly practical one who is pulling the emergency brake every time that unemployed fancypants starts agitating for a major purchase.” fairshoulders

2. She Came From A Low-Income Background And He Grew Up Never Worrying

“No longer with my partner (together for about 4 years), and despite how humble my ex was, it was small things that reminded me that I was poor and my ex was rich, even after I got a really good-paying career.

Prior to my family moving to the U.S. from Latin America, I wouldn’t say we were ‘poor.’ At least as I look back, I was extremely happy and content despite our bare-bones life. During the earlier years of my life, it was a luxury eating meat. I still remember how we would continue to scrape off meat from a meatless bone. On the majority of the other days, rice, beans, and a local regional veggie were the mains.

As my family started immigrating to the U.S. and began to send over money, our livelihood increased quite I bet, in my opinion. Meat was a more common occurrence, occasional doctor and dental visits were now possible; however, new clothes or shoes were still primarily a luxury reserved for the annual town’s fair or when our family members from the US came down to visit.
Fast forward a few years, and I moved to the US. Cultured shocked AF! I still could not believe the size of my middle school! For reference: k-6 in my town had 3 rooms (which were shared between grades), a ‘storage’ and an office/’library’/family visit room.

The houses were huge as well. Automatic garages, people mowing loans, kids playgrounds, and basketball courts inside the church buildings blew my mind. I always thought libraries were a thing of movies. I was shocked when during my school registration, the admin showed the library and the school gymnasium. Equally shocking was finding that a public library was walking distance from my new home.
I was really confused.

Growing up in the US was definitely better; however, it’s expensive to be poor in the US and far more stressful despite having a better-ish life.

Growing up, I came to understand that the concept of savings, though everyone around encouraged it, no one really could afford to practice it. It was paycheck to paycheck, slowly falling in the debt trap, relying on relatives for money and food, houses with multiple families, etc. For us in the US, going to a McDs or BK for dollar burgers was great. Going to a place like Golden Corral (buffet) or TGIF-type restaurants was a HUGE luxury.

And GOD forbid you get sick. Unless you broke a bone or are seconds from death, forget it. Family will do anything but going to a doctor. I don’t think I saw a doctor in the US until high school. And that was because my dad couldn’t afford it when he became disabled so we qualified for some welfare. Today, even with insurance and a decent income, I’m afraid of going to the doctor here.

Anyway, I was lucky to cross paths with amazing people who continued to reinforce the thought of having good money habits, savings, investing, and also pushed me to graduate.

I was the first of my family to go to college. I started traveling for work and personal and in the process met my ex.

As I said, my ex was extremely low key and humble despite being an only child to a family of doctors, lawyers, and professors, with education being a high priority regardless of the cost. My ex went to some pretty expensive places to study. Whereas me, I worked FT, plus got a scholarship and some pell grant money to cover all my instate public school.

Extracurriculars were a must so my ex participated in a lot of these multi-city, countries, alumni and company – all paid by parents.
No need for scholarship search and work.

I was privileged to still study abroad but that was because my scholarship covered it and the destination was far cheaper than the US. Still, I had to teach English on the weekends as the little money I had saved could not afford me exploring around or go out on the weekends – just to be present with some of the international crowd.

No way I could spend like some of them. Still, I always worried about money back home, unemployment, how I was gonna make school rent, or what if I couldn’t find a job when I returned?

With my humble ex, there was never an issue eating on the streets at a questionable shack; however, Michelin Star restaurants were also part of the adventure.
At the time, I was making more money and was, and continue to be, very frugal.

Savings came first so any leftover money that I would usually invest was ok to spend on these unusual adventures and experiences, way too far from my upbringing.

I can’t deny that despite being able to afford them, these adventures really hurt. Whenever we went out, I would always look at the prices first. My ex never did. If something looked good, let’s have it. Me on the other hand, if something looks good . . .

for my budget, I’ll have it.

Even when my ex started working full time, earning a meager salary in a high-cost living city, my ex gave no **** about budgeting.
I always budget even if I know I’m going to have a surplus month after month. On vacations, for example, my ex had no issues if the salary wasn’t going to be enough to cover rent, daily expenses, and a vacation. Just call dad, and he will book that flight right away, help with the rent, or buy those tickets to the concert.

If I couldn’t afford to go to places, that was it. I couldn’t. I remember discussing going to this particular country. We were discussing how I’ll have to weigh out and manage expenses for the next year to come up with the money.
My ex simply replied, I ma have my parents pay for it.

My ex’s family was pretty connected too. I remember my ex once trying to renew his passport. There was some bureaucratic issue holding the approval of the passport.

Guess what? Dad made a call, and a couple of days later my ex was called into the embassy to pick up that bad boy.

Last, I promise. My ex, generally was pretty frugal when it came to outfits. More for less is better, kinda thing. However, there was no remorse for buying a luxury item: jackets, watches, shoes, electronics, etc. Me, I still shop at Marshall’s, use the same phone from like 3/4 years ago and the ‘nicer’ gadget were gifts not purchases haha.

I really need new suits for my job. I’ve been saving to buy them but even if I have the money, it’s just soo tough dropping $500 on a couple of outfits. My colleagues seem to always be flashing a new one, and the 1k type of new one.

I continue to be frugal, save, and pay it forward as much as I can. However, I cannot wait for the day I can sit down at a restaurant and be able to read the entire menu left to right.

Or the day, I miss my flight and simply rebook the next one without worry what I’m going to cut to make up for my mistake.
If I ever have kids, I know they’ll be good. They’ll most likely have some if not all of the luxuries I encountered with my ex. Regardless, I will always cherish every single thing my parents gave me and will always be indebted to them for their fight and sacrifice. I know if it wouldn’t have been for their back-breaking work, continued resilience, perseverance, and giving up so many things of their own life, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

God bless and wish y’all a happy and joyful life; Whether you’re at the top or at the bottom. But don’t take for granted the things you learn from others.
Surround yourself and cheer those around you for a better world!” G0tie_lopo

1. He Gave Her The Gift Of Financial Freedom

“I grew up in a poor family. I was told ‘credit cards were evil’ and to never get one by my parents. They had this outlook because they were never taught how to properly use them either.

When I finally did have to establish credit and got my first one, I didn’t overthink it and just followed the rules and paid it off every month. Then they allowed me more and more credit, more and more cards. An emotionally abusive ex would use my cards for everyday living, promising to pay them off with me.
Soon the interest started to snowball and before I knew it I couldn’t get out from under it. He ghosted me after 4 years of living together.

I was on my own. For about a year, I’d get home from work every day and just sob. I was depressed.

I met current my boyfriend in the midst of all of this. I noticed him always using credit cards and talking about perks and points. He seemed so responsible in the way he used them. It took me a bit to open up to him about my debt because I was so embarrassed, and it got to the point I felt like there was a weight on my chest 24/7.

The late calls, only paying the minimum on each card every month, barely touching the interest. When I finally opened up to him, he sat down with me and said, we are a team, we’ll figure this out together. He helped me go over all of my interests and cards and see what the best option for me was. He offered to pay it all off with his work bonus that year and I pay him back, but we hadn’t been together long, and I didn’t love him for his money.

I didn’t even feel comfortable with him paying for dinner often.
I knew I had to get out of this myself.

One day, when I saw him, he gave me an envelope and told me not to open it till I got home. He gifted me $1,000. I did not want to accept it and felt horrible doing so. He told me he hoped it’d help the burden and do with it whatever I wanted, or even something to treat myself since I couldn’t do that for so long.

I asked him if he minded if I used it to pay for a lawyer to file bankruptcy, he said he’d support me in doing so.
I did end up filing. It was scary, but I’ve never made a better decision in my life. Felt like 1,000 pounds were lifted off my chest.” tatertottytot

Reading stories like these is a great reminder that people who grew up differently than one another can still be very happy together regardless of their differences.

I think too often, we make excuses that we are “too different” from our partner to have a fulfilled life with them, when really, being versatile and having an open mindset is what we may really need. I personally think it’s a beautiful thing for a couple to have their fair share of differences and still be able to work well with one another.
If you found these stories interesting as I did, why not share them on Facebook?