People Send Over Their Recounts Of Rambunctious Revenge
18. Never Accuse Me Of Vandalizing Your Car When I Didn't
“So I live on a little street with about 7 houses.
We’re the only student house in the area, and so we’re often a target for people looking to make a quick buck by blaming us because they think it’s easy to get us into trouble.
This lady thought WRONG.
So I’m walking back from university when I’m accosted by a middle-aged woman (DB) in her dressing gown and slippers.
‘HEY, YOU!’
I stop because I’m trying to be polite to the neighbors (the locals have a “location” Hates Students group who vandalize student property to try and make us leave so I tend to overcompensate to make our household look good).
‘Hi! How are you?’
‘YOU VANDALIZED MY CAR!’
I cross the road to where DB is standing and where her car is parked – and ask ‘pardon?’
‘You dumb witch, did you not hear me? I said you vandalized my car.’
She was really trying to sell that I vandalized her car when I was on the other side of the road and she KNEW that.
‘I’m… Sorry? I think you’ve got the wrong person.’
DB points at a HUGE scrape down the side of her car and I wince, that poor thing must have been beaten up pretty badly, but I had nothing on me that could have inflicted that much damage.
I explain that the binmen destroyed my moped (still in for repairs) so they might have caught her car too and her eyes light up.
‘A moped?!?!?!’ I nod. ‘SO YOU’RE THE LITTLE BRAT WHO PARKS ON MY DRIVE??’
Our house has a driveway big enough for 4 cars and is, obviously, right outside my house.
So I tell her no, that I haven’t been parking on her drive, especially because my bike was destroyed and has been gone for over 2 weeks.
‘You’re a liar,’ she’s spitting in my face at this point. ‘I have photos of your bike blocking my drive from 3 days ago.
That’s why I was parked on the road and that’s why my car got totaled.’
‘Okay,’ I nod. ‘May I see the photos?’
DB is all too happy to whip out her phone and show me the photos of what she proudly believes to be my moped (a fire engine red piece of scrap that, to be honest, was well beyond saving even before the bin men mangled her).
Except… It isn’t my bike.
‘Ma’am, I hate to be rude but… That’s a mobility scooter.’
Cue the screaming and shouting about how rude teenagers are (I’m 21) and how we university students always disrespect the locals.
She tells me that I must think she’s an idiot (I do) for thinking that she’s wrong about my bike (she was).
So I take a deep breath and say:
‘Ma’am I’m in a rush, but you really are wrong about the bike… Maybe ask (her next door neighbor, a kind old lady who owns that mobility scooter but is a little forgetful) about why she parks her scooter on your drive.’
I walk away and think nothing of it. Except now she’s left her totaled car on our private property instead of her own drive, after running our fence that blocks the drive down and complaining to our landlady about anti-social behavior – there isn’t any, btw, we’re 4 reclusive students who stay in all night watching Netflix with our headphones in, and she’s also like 5 houses down from us so she definitely wouldn’t be able to hear the noise she was describing.
Pretty much the whole neighborhood is shunning us at this point, as DB had been spreading lies about our behavior – telling everyone that we vandalized her property so it’s only fair that she uses our driveway as compensation. I feel responsible for her behavior, as I should have shut her down immediately rather than letting this drag out.
So I sit in my room (nothing new there) and hatch a plan.
The next morning, I walk past her house and watch as DB lets her dog out. I watch it take a poop on the public pavement, and then shrug and walk away.
BINGO. According to our local council, this is an offense she can get fined for, as it’s vandalism and obstruction of council property. So every morning as I walk to get my train, I take a photo of the turds – some fresh, some crusty, and some smeared across the pavement by some poor sod who’s stood in it.
Then I email EVERYTHING to my local counselor who is FUMING that someone fully able-bodied is allowing their dog to do this without cleaning it up. She gets fined £1000 with a threat of MORE if she continues to do so (I heard this from my neighbor as he was friends with a council worker (CW), who handled the case).
And guess what? She did. And the more that dog pooped, the more I reported it. She racked up £4000 of fines just for dog poop alone, and I didn’t even report her trespassing on private property.
But apparently, she’d spoken to CW, who was a newbie, and pressured him until he let slip that ‘a neighbor’ had reported it and of course she happened to 1) realize it was me and 2) know where I live.
She hammered on my door, screaming about how she was going to drown my cat (I don’t have one, my neighbor’s cat just loves me), smash my window, and then catch me when I was walking home.
Now my housemate TB is also a recluse, I’ve said in previous posts that he basically stays in his room and only leaves to go to uni or grab a drink and some food.
But he is LIVID at the way this lady is screaming at me. He stomps downstairs, yanks the door open while she’s midscream, and glares down at her. He’s 6’7″ tall and a rugby player, so he’s basically a walking muscle. If I didn’t know that he liked to cry at anime while hugging us on the sofa, I’d think that he was terrifying.
But this lady wasn’t privy to this information.
So she looks up at this angry, MASSIVE Northerner and just trembles as he says in a very low, threatening voice:
‘You need to get off our property and take your car. If you so much as blink at my friend and I hear about it, I’ll not only call the council for the dog poop you flung on our driveway, but I’ll call the police for damage to property and harassment.
Now SCREW. OFF. LADY.’
Safe to say she ran faster than I’ve ever seen her run.
Last week I heard from the neighbor that CW had sold her car for scraps (she never got the thing fixed) just to pay off the eventual £4200 of fines she’d racked up, and every time I walk to the train station and see the mobility scooter parked on her drive it feels like another little win!”
17. I'll Traumatize You Into Never Wanting To Drive Again
“Small piece of background info: As a kid, I was always playing rough and at some point even thought about becoming a stunt man (actually, that still sounds like an awesome career).
So my friends and I did the whole fake fighting thing and I learned how to easily take hits and pretty nasty falls without getting hurt badly.
I was one of those kids that always had cuts and bruises and no idea how I got them, nor did I care.
I also have always had the superpower to cause myself a b****y nose just by picking a very specific spot (this may not sound like a superpower but if you didn’t study for a test it was a gods gift to be able to just walk out of the classroom with a b****y nose knowing you could retake it at another time.)
This story happened a couple of years ago and it may be the worst thing I ever did.
I was 17 years old and being Dutch, I rode my bike everywhere. I live pretty close to my grandparents and would bike past their house on a daily basis.
Their house was at the corner of a Y-shaped intersection and there was this guy who lived on the same intersection who was THE. WORST. driver I ever met. He would just not look when driving out of his garage and just speed into the road.
He had nearly hit me twice already and every time he just cursed at me to get out of his way.
Now you have to believe me when I say this but I am not a vengeful person.
But something about this just annoyed me so much… My grandma also loves to ride her bike around town to do the groceries and I knew I had to do something before my grandma would get hit.
I asked my grandma about the man and she told me what I already knew. The guy was a b******e and everyone did everything wrong except for him. I told my grandma what I was planning and if she would help me, she eventually agreed, and together we made a plan to teach him a lesson he would never forget.
I decided to hang out around the guy’s house for a couple of weeks to take note of when he left for work every day and how fast he was going.
I worked everything out to the smallest detail, no room for errors on this one.
I started practicing my falls again and looked up some tutorials to prepare myself for the performance of a lifetime…
One sunny Monday morning, I get up and start stretching and warming up my muscles. Today is the day. I grab my bike and drive it just around the corner of the guy’s garage.
I mentally prepare myself and start my b****y nose with ease, making sure to get nice and b****y in the process. Then I hear it. The garage door opens, I now have 3.7 seconds before he would be racing out of his garage (like I said, every detail, no room for error).
I start driving my bike as fast as I could and get ready for the impact… and let me tell you, it went beautifully. I was no longer sitting on my seat and had my left hand already off my handlebar to help with the impact of the car.
I rolled over the hood and windshield of his car and landed in a nice rolling motion as I thought myself all those years ago. I ended up hitting the ground on the passenger side of the car.
All in all the whole ‘accident’ took less than a second but I still remember it as if it happened in slow motion.
The guy was freaking out as he thought he just killed a guy, and if you were just looking at the amount of b***d on his car (it wasn’t that much but on a white car every drop stands out) you would agree. As I laid there next to his car he came screaming out asking if I was okay.
Of course, I pretended I wasn’t and took my sweet time trying to get up. It was at this point that my grandma came running out of her house right on cue screaming, ‘MY BABY, YOU HIT MY GRANDSON!!!’ The guy didn’t know what to do, he was so full of shock that I thought he may pass out.
I’ll give him credit, he kept his cool and knew he was in the wrong. He called me an ambulance and stayed by my side.
When they arrived they checked me out. I was fine, a couple of bruises and a small scratch on my knee from hitting the pavement.
They bandaged me up and left. My grandma brought me to her car and brought me home.
A couple of days later I ride my bike past the guy’s house again and notice a piece of paper on one of the car’s windows: ‘for sale, call 06——–.’ I ask my grandma what happened and word on the street is that the accident left him traumatized and now he refuses to drive anymore, taking public transit everywhere and selling his car.
My grandma is happy that she can ride her bike without having to worry and I am happy that I don’t have to worry about her life. We talked about it afterward and both of us agree that although what we did was a horrible thing to do to someone, it had to be done before someone would actually get hurt and we don’t feel any remorse about it.”
Another User Comments:
“Most people don’t give a care until AFTER they do something that bad.
Props to you man.” ClearNightSkies
16. Act Like An Entitled Jerk After I Save You And Your Kid Off The Street? I'll Leave You Stranded
“So this happened yesterday. I’m not working at the moment, but I’ve been trying to keep myself busy by offering to help people in my family and friends’ circles, giving them lifts, helping them move, etc., etc. All-in-all I consider myself a pretty generous person.
Yesterday, my younger brother finally managed to get a few days off work, and he was going up the coast with some friends, for a nice relaxing getaway for one of their birthdays. He’d asked me weeks before if I could give him a lift, as he had chef school that day, and wouldn’t be able to get a lift to the house with his friends as planned. I said sure, no problems.
The day comes around, I pick him up early as he finished quickly, and we get on our way. The drive wasn’t bad (took about 1.5 hours) and we just chatted and listened to music all the way there, it was a nice drive.
At this point, it was around 4:30 pm by the time I dropped him off and turned around to go home.
I got probably halfway home and I see someone parked up by the side of the road, waving me down, so I decided to pull over as a few cars ahead had already driven past without stopping (they dodged a bullet). Enter entitled parent and her awful kid.
EP: ‘Can I help you?’
Me: looking confused since she waved me down. ‘Uh, I thought maybe you needed some help. Is everything ok?’
EP: ‘Um, no. We ran out of petrol.’
Me: ‘Oh… ok? That’s a pretty easy fix.’
The next town I knew had a service station as I passed it on the way there, and it was only another 5km up the road.
Me: ‘I can drive you into the town to get petrol and bring you back here.’
EP: ‘Okay,’ she says simply, her son picking up some of the gravel by the roadside and THROWING IT INTO TRAFFIC (60 mph highway).
Me: ‘Hey don’t do that champ, it’s dangerous.’
She had gone to her car to grab her purse but reeled out of it as I say this.
EP: ‘Don’t you speak to my son like that!’ she snapped angrily.
Me: ‘Sorry…’ I get into my car followed quickly by the obnoxious pair, high regretting my life choices by this point, now feeling I can’t redouble on myself, given how difficult she has been at me HELPING her.
EP: She sits down and immediately scoffs, looking at her feet. ‘Why is your car so dirty?’
Me: ‘Oh uh… sorry, I used to put my work boots down there so it got kinda dirty over time.’
EP: ‘You could clean it up you know?’
Me: I laugh nervously and just nod, pulling away and wanting this to be over with as fast as possible.
I left my phone in the center console and she grabs it up.
EP: ‘Can I call someone? My phone ran out of charge, that’s why we were stuck out there.’
Me: ‘Oh yeah, go ahead.’ (I have unlimited calls so I really didn’t care)
Either she thinks the person on the other line can’t hear her, or she’s trying to contact them without the use of the phone because she is SHOUTING.
Meanwhile, her son suddenly leaps up between the two front seats, looking out the front window. I quickly slow down a bit in shock.
‘Woah, put your seatbelt on dude!’
The mother just glances at him and pushes him into the back seat, and I have to tell him to put his seatbelt on again before he actually does.
I’m seething by this point, but I could already see the town ahead and she’d thankfully only had a short conversation and put my phone back.
We pull up to the pump without issue, but she sits there for like 10 seconds giving me this quick sideways glance with her arms folded, and I don’t even have to ask if this witch wants me to get the gas for her, I know she does.
And then I think. I didn’t know if it was going to work, but I wanted to try, and here I am.
I get out of the car, and grab a 5L Jerry can they had for sale, holding it up for her approval and she nods.
I fill it up and walk up to the passenger side door and open it.
EP: ‘What?’
Me: ‘Oh I just wanted to know if your son wanted to pick out an ice cream, I know it’s a hot day today.’
She looked shocked for a moment and for the first time smiled. The kid practically leaped out of the car and much to my happiness so did she and followed him in there.
I walk in, put the jerry can onto the counter as he quickly comes up with his ice cream.
Me: ‘Oh. One second, I left my phone in the car, it has my debit card in it.’
I smile as soon as my back is turned to them, getting into the car and casually driving off, relishing in the sight of her running out of the service station screaming who knows what profanities.
All-in-all, it only ended up costing me about 20 minutes of my time, but the feeling I got as I drove away was priceless. I wonder how long it took them to get back to their car? I got home fine, and a solid-gold story in tow to tell my family.
Best. Drive. Ever. I only hope the poor guy running the servo didn’t cop it too bad from that nightmare of a human.”
15. Bully Me For My Weight? This "Big Boy" Can Throw You
“Little bit of backstory. I was a bit on the heavy side back then.
And by bit, I mean I was the biggest guy in size in school. So got bullied a lot. Mostly verbal. The few times it got physical, I didn’t retaliate.
So almost everyone knew how much of a softy I am. Which made me a prime target for the whole school. Also, the school was an all-exclusive boys’ school.
On to the story. I was called a lot of names back then. Chubby, fatty, big lorry.
Anything big in size gets associated with my name. There’s this one guy, who I’ve known since the first grade, let’s call him DB, who has been relentlessly bullying me since the first time he laid eyes on me.
I am kind of a nerd.
Just love computers and anything related to technology. Which DB didn’t like. Because his IQ is mostly a double-digit and he had trouble figuring things out. So at the start of 8th grade, we could take an extra class that taught us current technology and stuff.
DB stayed at the back of the class and got in a lot of trouble with the teacher because he was disruptive. The technology department is located on the first floor of the school. This will be important later.
I had already complained a lot to the school administration about the bullying and even had my parents involved during the 4th grade.
He only got a slap on the wrist. Because his father was a friend of the School’s VP (Vice Principal). VP had filed numerous reports about DB but had never taken any action. Oh and the time my parents got involved, he said, ‘boys will be boys.
They’re just having fun. They’ll grow up and look back to those moments and have a laugh. Who knows. Your kid might even lose weight just to impress them.’ My parents were helpless in this situation.
So at the start of 8th grade, the bullying started. And this time it was mostly physical. Punching me on the arm.
Slapping the back of my head. My father had always taught me to turn the other cheek and always to respect others. Even if they do something wrong to you.
Exactly one month after the start of the school year, I went home looking rough.
My father couldn’t bear it anymore. That was the day my father gave me the best advice that he has given me. ‘Son. You have the size and strength to overcome many things. Next time anyone that even thinks of bullying you physically, screw him up bad.
You’ll never have any trouble with anyone if you stand up and fight back against them.’ I had been bottling up everything up till that day.
My father’s words unleashed that rage beautifully.
I went back to school the next day and I was fuming.
8 years of pent-up rage ready to freaking demolish DB. My first class for that day was technology class. The teacher still hadn’t come to class so we were all just waiting outside. DB saw me and started going on and on about my size.
I didn’t say anything. The moment he punched on my arm was the breaking point. I simply grabbed onto his shoulders and said the words I was waiting to say all day long. ‘This is for all the years of you punching and calling me names.’
I threw him over the railing.
From the first floor. He landed on the ground with a sickening thud onto the ground. What followed was the most girlish scream I have ever heard. The rest of the class had to pick up their jaws from the floor.
VP came running to his aid looked up. He saw me smiling with the biggest grin I have ever had during the 8 years I spent in that trash hole.
Parents were called and what followed was chaos. DB’s father tried to punch me in the office in front of everyone (Principal, Vice Principal, 4 head teachers of the school, and the president of the school board who just happened to be on a visit to the school).
My father got in front of him and laid a nice uppercut.
Police were called and he was arrested for trying to assault a minor. VP was fired because he had never taken any action against DB’s action even though he knew the whole story.
DB had injuries that stopped him from playing soccer. Which he loved.
After the whole fiasco was sorted out, my father gave me some new advice, ‘Just punch their lights out. Don’t throw them from balconies.’ I never had any more troubles with bullies.
They were scared of me.
My next goal was to protect the other kids who were getting bullied. If I saw anyone bullying anybody, I would stand next to the kid and ask what’s the problem. They would always apologize and leave.
I could proudly say that I solved the bullying problem in our school barehanded.”
14. Don't Be Mean To Me At Work Unless You Want Me To Tell Your Partner What's Going On
“So I used to work for a phone repair store in the UK, and on many occasions, we have people that come in for repairs to their phone – from software reboots to full technical repairs. We had a guy that came with an older Samsung phone asking for a repair on their phone.
We’ll call this guy Sam (for the Samsung phone).
So I greet him and ask him what the issue is with his phone.
He starts to explain that certain parts of his phone’s screen are inactive and not working with pressure. A quick check shows that indeed the phone’s screen has issues, and I begin to ask some simple questions.
Me – ‘So, how long have you had the phone for?’
Sam – ‘Does it matter? You’re a repair shop, you can fix it.’
Me – ‘I need to ask as if we need to repair the phone we can do it in warranty.
If not you’d have to pay for the parts.’
Sam looks like I’ve literally asked him to sacrifice his firstborn child.
Sam – ‘Why would I pay for an issue when it’s clearly a technical issue?’
I start to explain that some phones have a warranty to cover certain parts over a period of time.
He isn’t having it.
Sam – ‘I don’t know but as a customer of Samsung for 10 years, I think I should have this done for free.’
Me – ‘I’m really sorry but it doesn’t work that way. Looking it up on the system, your phone is just outside of the warranty, so to repair the screen it would cost £xx.’
I’ve done it now. The guy starts up and starts bellowing at the top of his voice. Customers in the shop stop and stare and all I can do is look on as this guy starts to tear into me.
Sam – ‘Listen to me, you’re going to repair my phone you fat b******e (I am a slightly larger built guy – it’s a regular thing that gets thrown my way).
I’ve been with Samsung for years and they would be disgusted at your customer service. I want your manager. I want to talk to someone who isn’t an arrogant little jerk.”
I wave over the manager and sit and listen while this guy explains how rude and belittling I was, how I was overcharging him for a repair when it should be free.
The manager knows this isn’t me and tries to explain the procedure. This guy full-on screams at the manager and causes such a scene that other customers turn and walk straight out. This guy is going to cause us to have no customers left.
The manager calls the Head Office and explains the situation.
As a goodwill gesture, they will allow us to repair the phone for free. The manager lets the customer know and he sits downs happy with himself.
I have to sit and watch Sam smugly sit with my manager as he tells him how they should employ better customer service employees while booking on the phone.
I’m on the verge of tears and begin to serve the other shocked customers in the store.
My manager asks the guy if he’s backed up the phone, as part of the policy for repairs, customers are required to clear their phone before handing it over.
I brace myself as Sam suddenly roars up again.
Sam – ‘That’s disgraceful! I haven’t backed anything up and I have a hundred important contacts on that phone. If they are removed I will sue you and that (pointing at me again) over there for everything you have.’
So before this guy has an aneurysm in the store, and to prevent another explosion, my manager sighs and starts to back up the phone on the system (on the rare occasion we can back it up – for nice people. I always do it for an older person, as they are always nice to me).
We get the guy to sign the paperwork and explain the repair procedure.
20 minutes later it’s done and he meets his partner outside the store. This lady is younger than Sam and very pretty. Blonde hair, tall and slim – this will become relevant later.
He starts to talk to her in the store and she looks in and laughs.
An hour later, I get a call from the head office. Apparently, this guy called them and explained the way I ‘acted’ (all lies about me being rude and threatening to him).
Even with backup from my manager, head office wanted to have an informal meeting with me as they wanted to retrain me on my customer service.
I was hurt. My manager was apologetic and knew that it wasn’t my fault but there was nothing I could do.
I’m not a person who is malicious or angry – but this was just unfair. When I left the repair shop, my manager explained that this guy told a lot of nonsense about what I said to him, and his wife backed him up despite not being there (there are no cameras in the shop part where I work so they couldn’t verify if the woman had been there).
So I needed to ensure that this guy got some payback.
A few days later, the guy’s phone needed a screen replacement as well as a logic board, so the phone was cleared of all its data.
Part of our testing is to ensure that the software and some testing data are put onto the phone in case an issue comes up.
I start the process and begin to back up the phone as well as update the data. I thought to ensure that it wasn’t something on his phone which caused the issue, I would restore the phone to test.
Now, this guy isn’t very smart.
As his data streams onto the phone, you can see the file names and small thumbnails of the images as they upload. There are some standard photos – holidays, pictures of his wife, drinks (the typical middle-age ‘I’ve got a camera so I’ll take photos of everything’ type of thing).
Then some rather ‘adult orientated’ ones come up. This is normal when looking through people’s phones.
As I begin to minimize as I don’t really fancy seeing what this guy gets up to, several photos of this guy come up with a woman. But this woman isn’t his wife.
This was of someone very different. This woman was black-haired and in a rather unflattering position with this guy.
Then another woman, a darker-skinned lady flashes up again in a similar position. I minimize this as I don’t want to see anymore, but I know I’ve got my payback.
This is my chance. I stop the process and clear the phone of data. I use the spare data, complete the checks and get the phone ready for collection.
I don’t condone what I did, nor do I recommend it. But you have to understand that once in a lifetime, the nice guy has a dark moment.
And this was mine.
So I call the guy and explain that his phone is repaired. ‘About freaking time’ was the response. He explains that he will be at the store in an hour (just before we close). I explain to my manager about this guy coming in, and due to being short-staffed, he said I’d have to deal with him.
He was worried this guy would start again on me. However, I wanted to help him with his phone.
So Sam sits down at my desk, with his girl beside him. I politely begin to explain the repairs but this guy doesn’t care about the words out of my mouth.
He just looks at me in a condescending way – like I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve done this so much that I know more than you.
When I finish, I explain I need to put his data back on the phone. I hear a ‘Hurry up will you, I’ve got somewhere to be other than sitting here with you.’ This came from the girl this time.
So she was just as rude as he was.
Without another word, I plug the phone in and begin the restoring process. Now, our front desks have fairly large monitors at an angle so both customers and staff can see them as we do training with customers on new handsets, show them images of the repair, etc. Normally, I would minimize the software for the sake of the privacy of the customer.
Not this guy. I full-screen the software and ensure that the preview image is big enough for them both to see.
The shop is empty at this point, so I know no unsuspecting children are about to see this show.
The guy sits back and the girl huffs, crosses her legs, and sits back in the seat.
The images begin to flash up. They talk about their dogs and the time they went for a weekend away. They comment on how nice Portugal was as a holiday when a picture of a sunny veranda flashes up and that they should go back this weekend.
I sit back and bite my lip. I’m worried that I’m being too petty.
‘Shame people like this guy won’t be able to afford first class. Shame.’ Jerk. I smile politely at this woman looking at me with sympathy.
‘I suppose I won’t.’ I know that this is needed to knock them down a peg.
Then it happens. The lady with the black hair pops up, and immediately the guy knows he’s about to be rumbled. His girl suddenly freezes, her mouth left open.
‘Is that xxx…?’
More images start to flash up on the phone. This guy knows he’s in deep trouble.
She turns in her chair to look at Sam. She looks disgusted
I’ve never been so happy to see this guy sink into his seat. She starts to tear into him. Everything is spilling out about this guy and I’m happy to have front-row seats.
My manager comes around the corner as well as some of the technicians from downstairs from the shouting.
My manager looks at me, to them, and then to the screen where a rather unflattering image of this guy on a bed with more varieties of women around him pops up.
My manager bites his lip to stop laughing and rests against the wall.
This woman has full-on gone off now. She’s slapped Sam and is screaming anything she can at him. She runs from the shop screaming how it was over and she couldn’t face her friends now (turns out some of the women in the photos were personal friends of hers).
He gets up to leave and yanks his phone from the cable on the desk (this is going to cause issues later, as he could corrupt his data yanking it out – the CHERRY ON TOP).
He looks at me and I manage to poker face long enough that he doesn’t suspect anything.
He doesn’t know what to say. He just goldfishes at me.
He runs from the store after her shouting for her to come back. I don’t see them again. My manager comes over and while laughing, tells me not to do that again. The techs are laughing too at the show.”
13. Be Rude To Your Ride To The Airport? Watch Your GPA Go To Trash
“Thanksgiving 2015. My family gets together in a rural-ish cabin. I had agreed to give my younger sister a ride to the airport on Sunday, since she was on a short break from college, and had important classes and tests to get back to after Thanksgiving.
I’d also agreed to lock up the cabin for my parents since they had to leave on Saturday to get back to pressing work matters.
During the post-dinner hanging around on Thanksgiving, my sister decided to give me trouble about the bad couple of months I’d had.
A long-term girl of mine and I had broken up and the company I worked for folded.
This went beyond normal sibling trash-flinging, including her saying something to the effect of, ‘Who’d go out or hire a worthless failure loser like you anyway? Your girl was probably sleeping with your boss and dumped you both when she learned you were both failures.’
She was called out on her crude remarks by several family members but refused to apologize.
I seemingly let it slide. I had plenty of emergency funds, had a few job prospects lined up (was hired shortly after and got a nice salary bump, actually) and was okay with being single.
Her vehemence was out of left field though, and uncalled for.
Sunday morning, I waited for her in the kitchen with a bottle of booze.
‘Hey, Heather,’ I said when she entered the kitchen. ‘Wanna apologize for your awful comments the other night?’
She laughed. ‘About your being a complete failure?
Nope. Now let’s get going I have a flight to catch.’
‘Fair enough!’ I responded, and poured myself a double, then knocked it back.
‘What are you doing?’ she screamed. ‘I have a plane to catch!’
‘You sure do!’ I responded, cheerfully. I paused and repeated the pour-and-slam.
‘Well, it looks like I’ve had too much to drink to drive! I guess we’ll have to wait until you’re freaking civil, won’t we?’
She pulled out her phone and messed with it for a few seconds before I said: ‘There aren’t any cab companies or Ubers around here.
I’m your only ride. So you can apologize for being a witch, or you can miss your flight.’
‘Screw you!’
I grinned and took another shot.
In short: I got absolutely hammered, she missed her flight, missed some tests, and her GPA plummeted. It was hilarious.
Someone asked why she didn’t drive herself to the airport and/or why someone else didn’t give her a ride. For one, the car was registered and insured in my name only. I’d locked the keys in the little keypad safe in our parent’s room and changed the combination.
As for other ride options, it was established early on that I would be giving her a ride, so we were the last two there.
I was her only option.”
12. Helping My Partner Get Her Boss Fired
“So this is a story about how my wife and I got her boss fired. For reference, my wife will be called Mary and her boss is Karen (I know, original, right?)
So Mary started working for a college 5 years ago as an administrative assistant.
She was given odd and end tasks, one of which was writing up the School Handbook. She noted in the handbook that staff was required to take time for professional development. After some years and a few promotions, she lands a Manager position in the department and spearheads an initiative to have all staff under her have approved time to attend professional development conferences.
Karen always rejected this idea, but Mary decided one day to go to Karen’s boss- we will call Bob.
Bob is great, once Mary has enough weight in the college she went around Karen and got Bob to approve conferences for everyone in the department.
For the next year or so, everyone got to choose any conference around the continental USA to attend on the company’s dime.
Everyone would come back with notes taken at every session attended, attached with a conference itinerary, and given to their direct superior as proof of attendance.
The employee would also present key points learned from their conference at a weekly departmental meeting. Pretty simple morale-boosting opportunity – until someone had to abuse it.
Karen had been bragging to other department directors, as well as to Mary, about swimming with dolphins during her recent travel to a conference.
Mary didn’t think much of it, as usually there was sometimes a free morning or afternoon to do with as you please at these conferences.
My wife told me this during our nightly pillow talk, and having been raised in Orlando (where Karen decided to attend a conference) my head popped up and I asked, ‘Where?’ Mary replied with a well-known location run by a well-known company with a whale for a logo.
I quickly replied that they close at 5:30, when did Karen have time for this? Mary, who had access to Karen’s itinerary, dropped her jaw when she realized the conference Karen attended did not have free time during the business hours of the dolphin swimming experience.
Mary went into an enraged clerical fury as she pulled up Karen’s full travel itinerary for flight, hotel, conference, and other reimbursements (the school does most departmental work online and therefore the school’s server can be accessed remotely from secured or approved devices, like Mary’s phone).
She also checked the website where Karen went swimming to confirm the hours of operation.
According to the records submitted, there was no way Karen had time to swim with dolphins during the experience’s normal business hours without missing part of this conference, and according to Karen’s itinerary, she was supposed to have attended all sessions.
Mary worked hard to have the privilege to travel the country to attend conferences, and Karen just screwed it all up. Mary eventually wrote all of this up, attached the itinerary documents, attached photos of the encounter (and apparently from other theme parks that Karen had neglected to mention) from social media, attached the hours of operation, and sent this all to Bob.
Mary texted me about an hour after she got to work the next day saying Bob was livid.
He was currently in the process of questioning everyone Karen had bragged to see if the stories all matched up. A few days later, Karen was fired from the company for only attending 1 session of the 3-day conference, lying about her report filed, using company funds for travel hotels and food to go play at theme parks, and for submitting a time card to get paid while doing all of that.
Although Mary’s name was anonymous through all of this, Karen seemed to blame Mary anyways.
Karen sent mean and dark texts to Mary several times until the school could send a cease and desist. Worse of all, I guess Karen’s husband was a deadbeat so not only did Karen have to trade in her massive SUV for a smaller vehicle, but she had also just signed on a new house only days before she was fired and now had no income to support said home.
I’m not completely cynical, people shouldn’t be homeless. But Karen had also taken credit for a lot of Mary’s work, made Mary do Karen’s workload while Karen went AFK, and many other instances of foul play I can’t remember because there’s so much pillow talk.
Needless to say, Karen reaped what she sowed.”
Another User Comments:
“Love it when slackers and credit takers get their comeuppance, and this Karen was both!” mrmoe198
11. Get Furious When I Fix The Camera? Fine, I'll Un-Fix It And Leave You To Figure It Out
“About 10 years ago now, I was working for a small data center in my town. I originally started there as a tech support operator and did call center work helping various small companies over the phone with basic computer issues. I wasn’t over the moon about it, but I also didn’t hate it.
However, when one of our major clients backed out of their contract due to budget cuts on their end, my company scrambled into a reorg and tried to keep as many employees as possible hoping to win that client back.
During that reorg I got shifted over to physical security, I took over the role of two individuals, while they did a lateral move.
My new role had me running the daily ins and outs of the data center and its security, while they were supposed to make improvements. Of course, I had never done this type of job before, but I took to it pretty quickly. It also didn’t take me long to realize that one of the individuals that I replaced, Ted – wasn’t quite up to snuff like he thought he was.
Ted’s biggest enemy was the cameras. He constantly struggled with them. He couldn’t ever figure out why they weren’t saving the footage the way he thought that they should be. He would bemoan about how he had a camera set up and working the way he wanted it to, only to have it stop saving the files properly a few weeks later.
He also rarely let me help and take a look at the configurations of the cameras because “I don’t need to know how to adjust them, just how to watch them.”
One day though he was struggling with a camera that a client was paying for.
They wanted a camera on their servers to make sure that only their team worked on their servers. I always thought it was a bit of paranoia since each server rack had a lock and key and even security didn’t have spares. But, it made the client happy and the company was making a lot off it so whatever.
Anyways, Ted was panicked because he couldn’t get the cameras to save properly and he didn’t know what to do. He eventually gave up and put a call in to the camera manufacturer, Cisco to try and get them to assist.
In his frustration, he left the camera configuration open and I decided to take a crack at it.
I mean, I have a technical background, and camera systems aren’t really all that different from any other program I have to troubleshoot on the spot. So, I wrote down all the original configuration information and made sure I documented any changes I made.
Eventually, I figured out why Ted couldn’t grasp the camera issue.
Ted never understood that all the cameras save all their data to a single server and the server was full. And looking at just this camera configuration I could tell why. He had the camera recording and saving all its footage for 24 hrs a day in HD.
Plus he wanted this to keep 90 days worth of footage. In case you don’t know much about camera or video footage that’s A LOT of storage space you’ll need. That doesn’t include all the other cameras that were probably also set to similar settings.
But, the software never errored out saying it wouldn’t be able to save that much storage, it would just let you make all your changes and then at the bottom of the screen say something similar to “Estimated Archiving Max Allowance: 2 days” Meaning the server only had enough space to save 2 days worth of footage with that configuration.
However, Ted must have never seen that OR never knew what it meant.
Realizing the issue. I proceeded to make the correct changes, setting the camera to record only on movement, turning it down off HD, and increasing the footage priority. (Meaning it wouldn’t be the first to be overwritten if the server ran out of space again.) After making the changes the dialog said something closer to: “Estimated Archiving Max Allowance: 100 days.” I smiled and quickly called Ted up to let him know what the issue was and how I fixed it.
However, instead of a grateful Ted, I got…
“Hey Ted, I fixed the camera issue, see what’s going on is..”
“What camera issue?”
“Oh that client camera that you struggled with earlier. I think you said you couldn’t get it to save for 90 days”
“What? Why did you touch that! You’re making us breach the contract!”
“But, it’s already broken, we are already breaching the contract.”
“No! I have a ticket in with Cisco, they will fix the issue. Put it back immediately.”
“Okay, but can I at least explain what I learned?”
“No! Just put the camera back to the original setting I had it at. Let the experts figure it out.”
“But, I figured it out.”
“Just put it back, and stop changing the configs. If I learn you’re the reason we are having camera problems, I’ll make sure Linda knows about it.”
(Linda was my boss’s boss.)
“Okay, fine.” I sighed and hung up, putting the camera back to its broken configuration.
Of course, Cisco never called back, and Ted forgot about the issue and now he was plagued with even more camera problems because the rest of the cameras weren’t saving their footage either.
For the next two weeks, whenever Ted walked into the security office and had a problem with a camera I would try and explain the issue, only to be huffed away and asked to “Go stand in front of that camera so I can see if it will pick up your motion.” In his eyes, he was essentially demoted from Physical Security Lead to Motion Detection Officer.
Eventually, I gave up and amongst other various issues I had between him and management, I started to look for a new job.
Now, it’s my second to last day at work and about 3 months since that day when I performed my malicious compliance.
I have my replacement working at my desk, handling all the tasks that need to be done, and I’m just sitting in a corner reading a book. That’s when Ted walks into the security office his face is red and he’s huffing angrily.
He goes to the wall of monitors and pulls up that same camera and then clicks furiously around on the screen while getting angrier and angrier with each passing click. I decided to see what the issue was and wouldn’t you know it, he’s fiddling around in the “Archive” section… Uh oh!
That camera isn’t saving ANY footage for more than an HOUR! I couldn’t help but smile. I tried to cover it with my book, but Ted glanced up at the wrong time and started going off.
“What are you smiling about?”
“Nothing, I can see you’re busy.”
Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but let out a sneer of pleasure. Ted jumps up and walks directly over to me, then proceeds to try and drill sergeant me.
“What are you laughing at?”
Now here’s the thing, I’ve never been in the military, but I have had the drill sergeant routine placed on me a million times in my life.
I’m not scared by it anymore, plus, I’m sitting down, so the effect isn’t working properly. Thus, the laughter now spills out of me.
“That’s the camera I had fixed for you. But you got all angry about it and told me Cisco would fix it.
Guess you didn’t follow up on the ticket.”
“Oh, so glad you think this is funny, but you don’t have to go tell the client that we don’t have any of their footage they are looking for.”
“Nope, you’re right, I don’t.” I spin around in my chair and then land one more tiny sucker punch.
“But I mean, if you’re too scared to do it, I can. The worst the client can do is request I be fired, and whoops what do you know? I’ve already done that for them.”
Ted huffs at me, draws his fists up ever so slightly, and then finally turns away storming out of the office.
The aftermath. The client never cared about the footage. They just let it drop. My replacement for my position, however, wasn’t so easily cowed by Ted as I was. Also, my replacement had an in with someone much higher up in the food chain than I did.
Ted only lasted another 6 months at the company before someone finally realized that he wasn’t up to par.”
10. Refuse To Pay Me For My Work? Just Wait Until I Turn Down Your Proposal 20 Years Later
“In my young 20’s, I moved to a new city to try to start my career and life. I wasn’t very well off, but I was confident I would get things up and running.
In my job search, I came across a promising opportunity at a small firm.
Instead of offering me the job, the owner said he would like me to come in for two days and work. If it was fit, they would hire me, and if not, they would pay for the two days.
I figured taking the bus to and from the job was a luxury I could not afford and walked an hour each way to get there.
I did good work both days and worked very hard, but it was not a fit. The owner then tells me, “I know we said we would pay you, but it’s just too complicated to set you up for just two days, so you will just have to be happy you got the experience with us.” The way he acted really rubbed me the wrong way.
I was mad, but as I was trying to find another job, I figured it was not in my best interest to make waves as word may get around I was ‘difficult.’ I did however decide that someday, someway I would get my revenge on the owner.
I did find a good job that led to a great career. But I always kept tabs on the owner looking for the time and place to get some revenge and even a few times considered some more juvenile methods.
Just short of twenty years passed…
and now I was very senior in my chosen profession, but instead of working for a small firm, I was a leader in a very large national company that hired firms. As it turns out, we had a large contract come up that I was the lead executive on the procurement team in the area the firm operated in.
Things have changed a bit over the years, but bidding on these contracts was at the firm’s expense at the time. However, to safeguard them, the bidding would be in stages. Well, sure enough, the owner and his firm put in an exploratory bid. They were not perfect for the job, but they could actually do it, so I assisted in them moving to the next stage, and the next stage, and then the final stage.
The easiest thing I could have done was shut them down right away and got a bit of revenge, but there would be no fun in that. There was some risk to letting them go through to the end though. Though I was the lead, it was a team decision, and to be honest, if they had the best proposal despite my thirst for revenge, I would vote for them.
The proposals and presentation came in and luckily the other firm was a bit better, and we went with them. Normally the executive lead didn’t deliver the bad news in the bid process, but I volunteered to take on the call.
It was fun to call the owner (who had no idea we met 20 years ago) and tell him, “We were impressed with your proposal, but it is just not the right fit.
I know you must be disappointed to not get the contract, but at least you got great exposure to our process.” (I know I should have used his own words from 20 years ago, but I could not bring myself to do it.)
The firm must have done about 200 hours of work on their proposal, so I figured that was payback for my 16 hours with 20 years of interest.”
9. Don't Eat Out If I Can't Afford It? Got Ya
It’s one thing for a waiter or waitress to feel upset if someone didn’t leave a satisfactory enough tip, but to confront the customers about it…?
WOW. Rude.
“This is what I experienced when I was new to North America. At the time, I had just moved from a small village in Europe. When I had moved to Canada, I met up with others from my tiny area in Europe. Being from the same little country, we all became close.
I had become friendly with a next-door neighbor, who was a waitress at a mid-to-high level restaurant in this town. She told me I should stop by. And so I did. I brought my friends along, and it became a thing where 9-12 of us would come in and eat and be served by her.
At least once a week, every single week, often 2x a week. I asked if that was okay, but she never seemed overwhelmed, and we often caught her just chilling at the front desk once she was done with the initial plates (more on that later).
Again, we are not from a tipping country, so I initially was going to tip 15%. Then I was graciously informed by the host that an auto 18% tip was added to the bill for groups larger than 6. Okay great, didn’t have to figure out how much to tip.
After almost 3 months or so of this, she stops by as I am taking out my trash. One thing to know about her is that she seems nice… but also has no tact. And can have a bossy demeanor.
She tells us she enjoys having us as customers and loves seeing us enjoy the food, but that we should be tipping 20%, minimum.
Heavy emphasis on the minimum. Also “good tippers would give at least 30%.”
I am a bit stunned that of all the things she’d talk about; it was that. So I simply say, “I am sorry, okay.”
She finishes off with her signature sweet smile and the words, “Sorry hun, if you can’t afford to eat out, then you shouldn’t be doing so.”
Now… if she was polite. And said something like, “By the way, it’s customary to tip XXX if we do a good job. I understand you might not know the customs here,” then I would have understood.
But many times I remembered she was inattentive as a waitress, we’d often have to flag her down after making eye contact where she’d just wait behind the counter.
Like I said, 20% was not out of the question. It was the way she said it.
So I mention this encounter to my friends, and after a little talk, we realize…
We realize, we can’t afford that. Nah, not if we also want to be able to purchase other goods such as fine wines, cheeses we love, and the like.
See we aren’t poor… but not rich either. These weekly dinners were little luxuries that we splurged for the sake of friends and feeling “special” in a fancy restaurant. It didn’t break our bank… but it was still a significant amount. To tip her “properly” and the fact that we all realized there were other little things in life we’d rather spend on, we decided it was too much.
Across all of us, it was hundreds of dollars in tips alone per week. That’s a lot for us! We could use that to rent a pool hall, fishing tours (which are very expensive), etc.
So we did what any responsible adult did: we stopped buying what we couldn’t afford.
It was far cheaper to host our gatherings in someone’s house and do a potluck or make a deli board, etc.
Now discussing this with other neighbors, I hear that she has said something to that sort to other people in the neighborhood. Invite out to eat, then tell them off later if the tip is too low.
They have always said the same thing, “20% minimum; service wasn’t the best, very hurried, not very attentive, etc. and the entitlement.”
Anyways. We stopped eating at the restaurant and having her as the waitress.
Mind you, I never stopped saying hi to her. Kept up my pleasantries, etc.
But now, after we all of a sudden stopped coming in, she had a scowl on her face when she’d see me. Kept her responses quick and stopped saying hi as much.
And then, about a month after we stopped. One of the other neighbors mentioned to me how she was complaining that her tips weren’t great anymore and that she couldn’t afford to “get more fillers for her cheeks” at the new medical spa down the road.
Oh well. Like you said. “Don’t eat out if you can’t afford it.””
Another User Comments:
“Reminds me of a time when my whole team would go to this local Chinese restaurant every week for lunch. One of those places where you stand in line, order, and pay at the counter, and a ”deliver-er” (not really a waiter) drops the food off at your table.
You get your own water and utensils and bus your table at the end.
After months of leaving a small appropriate 10% tip, we see a little tray on the table with a handwritten note chastising us for not tipping enough (something about being disrespectful). So we respected them by never eating there again.” VoiceOfSoftware
8. Lie To Me About Something Major For A Year? I'll Destroy Your Life
“I thought I was in a slightly tumultuous but overall fun relationship for a year.
I had gotten out of a 12-year relationship when I met Slimeball. He was so charming and handsome I thought I won the lottery! He was super pushy about saying, ‘I love you’ first and defining our relationship.
He introduced me to his family. His niece started calling me Auntie. He tells me about his 3 children and their mothers and tells me about how the mother of his oldest hates him and is keeping him away from the kid.
But then things started getting weird.
His ‘ex’ started calling ALL the time, multiple times a day. They had children together, but the grandmother had custody.
I was told, to make it seem normal, that both of them had jobs where they traveled a lot, so they signed legal guardianship over to the grandma to make schooling and emergency issues easier.
Then the mom moved down to the city we were living in for ‘work training.’ She was moving down permanently without the kids. When I asked why the kids weren’t coming, I was told they need to stay in the same school. Um, they are 6 and 4.
I’d say staying with parents is more important at that age than their peer group. It was weird, but I’m cool and it wasn’t my place to tell them where their daughters should live.
He worked out of town a lot. So, when he tells me he’s going to Oregon I think nothing of it.
After a week in Oregon, a lot of stories aren’t adding up, like his phone is always dead even though he carries a power bank with him. THEN one of his ‘friends’ starts posting cuddled-up selfies with him. I quickly put 2 and 2 together and dump him for two-timing me with this chick in Oregon.
After I dumped him I made a messy post on his social media wall, when the mother of his oldest child sees it and she contacts me and lays out the truth!
He never contacts his oldest daughter, even though he has her cellphone.
No one is keeping him from her.
He owes $20k in back child support for her as he has never once made a payment. He moves around a lot and works under the table, so the mother was never able to collect garnishments or anything.
He has a huge criminal record, all these charges I knew nothing about!
His ‘ex’ who moved to our city was his of 9 years who was very much still in a relationship with him and they willingly gave up the 2 children.
There is a FOURTH child!?!?!?! He and the mother conspired to pin the paternity on another poor sap and it’s been 17 years now that this other man has been paying for a kid that is not his.
Oh, and I was this slimeball’s side chick.
His family knew and played along in the lie and included their 10 and 16-year-old children in the lie!
His chick in Oregon is actually his star-crossed lover from childhood! And every time they would try to be together, one or the other would end up in jail!
The Oregon chick ALSO has criminal record highlights.
This shocked me, so I paid for a criminal background check which is how I learned of their records.
I PROFUSELY thanked the ex for telling me the truth about the situation. I mulled on it for a bit trying to convince myself to simply consider myself lucky and just walk away with my dignity intact.
But then he’d be winning and I knew I had everything in my power to come down on him like Thor’s hammer.
I gave the ex ALL of his info – SSN, State ID#s, current and past known addresses. With this, she contacted her state’s Child Support Services. He will now have his driver’s license revoked and can’t get one regardless of which state he moves to until he is current with his past payments. If he ever gets a real job 25% of his wages will be garnished. He now has a warrant for his arrest in the state his oldest kid lives.
He’s trying to play house with his new partner and contacted the mother of his oldest to arrange a meeting with his kid and his partner’s child. The mother is ‘playing nice’ and pretending it’s a-go. He is planning a trip to visit his daughter.
He will not see her, at the ‘meeting,’ he will be seeing the police and they will arrest him for failure to pay, and he won’t get out of jail until he pays a sizable chunk of the $20,000 past-due PLUS bail!
I gave the ex his info THE DAY BEFORE his federal tax refund was set to go out.
She was fast enough at getting his info to CSS that they INTERCEPTED his full tax refund and now, for the first time, has to pay something for his child. His past due child support is also going on his credit report.
I know the name of the business his ex-brother-in-law owns, so I dropped a dime to the IRS.
So, he’s losing his only steady income soon and can’t get a job at Walmart due to his criminal record, and if he DOES manage to find someone that hires without criminal background checks he will lose 1/4 of his paycheck.
I told this story to two of my ‘hacker’ friends and they got into contact with hackers more talented than themselves and are now going to ‘take care of’ a few more things for me – like finding the guy who was conned into paying for a kid that’s not his!!”
Another User Comments:
“‘Men’ like this infuriate me.
Our relationship broke down when my son was 2 months old. From that first month she left, I was sending funds to cover his expenses. Despite a year of my exy-poo’s nonsense, I STILL PAID EVERY MONTH. Despite her refusal to let me see my son, I STILL PAID EVERY MONTH.
She threatened to involve the police when I tried to pick him up for a holiday weekend. She then stated that if I ever want to see my son again to take her to court. Guess what, I STILL PAID EVERY MONTH. I took her butt to court, settled that nonsense up.
Good on you for taking him to the task.” ermergerdberbles
7. Watch Me Replace You Real Quick
You just got downgraded!
“My best revenge was to meet my now wife of 35 years a week after I told my first serious partner to have a good life.
See before I met my ex, I had a few partners but nothing serious. I was what a lot of people called a dog. But I was a dog that told the truth. I never told one of the many, many girls I went out with I loved them or that I was going to marry them.
In fact, it was just the opposite. I always told them upfront I’m just here for a good time as a song goes. It worked for me as many a girl said that I was a challenge that they were willing to take. I would just smile and nod my head.
I was a young single E5 in Germany for two years and for my first year in Hawaii, I was having fun with a capital F.
Well, fast forward, I meet this girl in Hawaii. We hit it off. She was a former model and had everything going for her.
She was gorgeous, smart, funny, the total package.
After about a month or so, I told her that I was developing feelings for her, and I was willing to take a chance on being just a one-woman guy. She was pretty happy too and said she wanted to be just with me.
Later on, we’d even talk of a ring and possibly making plans for the next year. Now we were together a little over 6 months. She said she had never felt this way about anyone, and I said in my mind and to married friends, wow this is how it really supposed to be right.
That is until she had to go home (Utah) for a family emergency.
I called her one day and a boy (an old flame) answered the phone. I heard the shower running, and I then heard her say to the boy, ‘That was amazing, let’s just skip going out for dinner and stay in for dessert.’ I had heard this same line before from her when we were together and I knew exactly what dessert meant.
I told the guy, ‘Hey dude, have a good time and tell (her name) that Alan said, ‘Have a great life.’
I, of course, was livid. I later heard that the shower incident happened after a lot of drinks were involved, but really it does not matter.
Not even a good week later, I met my now-wife of 35 years. It was her first day in Hawaii as an operating room Tech in the Army. We met because I had sworn off girls (all my soldiers laughed when I said this) and I was actually playing basketball in the middle of the quadrangle where the barracks were.
At that time replacement or where new soldiers come into an Army post was located in the same barracks. Two months later, we were married, and before our first anniversary, we had our first kid. It was more than nine months as I know some of you were thinking we had to get married, but we didn’t.
Ha!
Now for the Revenge part. Not long after my now-wife and I started seeing each other, I was pulling CQ or charge of quarters when all of a sudden my ex-girl shows up. She was crying, telling me how she messed up her life worse than anything she’s ever imagined and how she would do anything to get me back.
I listened quietly, then said you did screw up but you know what it really turned out okay for me. I thanked her for taking that shower and then I said like a gentleman I’m going to walk you back out to your car.
We stopped at the soda machine because she said she was thirsty. She then point-blank asked me have you slept with her yet. I said, no. She then kinda smiled. I said no, screw you, I’ve made love to her. Mic drop!”
6. Won't Give Me A Job? Six Years Later, I'll Do The Same Thing To You
“Some years ago I was recruited by a local company to fill an open executive position, a job with really quite significant responsibilities.
I took a day off from my then-current job and spent the day with my prospective new employer. Remember, they came to me and asked me to leave a good job to come work with them.
The day went great. We toured facilities, met people, had lunch with senior executives, and negotiated a fair and appropriate compensation and benefits package.
We toured what would be my department and took a look at what would be my office.
The last meeting of the day was with their Chief Financial Officer. I would be technically operating under his supervision, but from a practical standpoint I would have little need to deal with him and he would have practically nothing to do with my operations, except at budget time.
As soon as I sat down, he told me it was most irregular that I would be offered an executive job without his approval.
I pointed out that senior executives of his company had recruited me.
He repeated that it was most irregular and that he was not pleased. We talked for a very few minutes when he stood up, walked to his office door, and opened it.
He looked at me and said, ‘I don’t think this is going to work out.’ He nodded toward the door and I, pretty good at taking a hint, stood up, grabbed my briefcase, and left.
Fast forward five or six years. I was working on restaffing a company that my company had acquired. We had cleaned house when we assumed control, it was exceedingly clear that their existing corporate staff was incompetent at best, corrupt at worst.
Our Human Resources department emailed me a resume for a prospective Chief Financial Officer. I read it and found that the candidate had extensive experience in our industry, was qualified, and was a Certified Public Accountant with lots of audit experience.
Seemed to fit the bill.
I ask HR to set up an appointment for him to come to see me.
I had not recognized his name, but when he walked into my office I realized that he was the guy that told me that I wasn’t going to ‘work out…’ at the interview five or six years ago.
I generally let things go, I don’t carry a grudge or worry about minor insults.
But my treatment at his hands those years ago still kind of stung.
I greeted him, interviewed him for an hour and a half, introduced him to a few people, showed him the accounting floor of our building, and had a drink with him in the break room.
I asked him to wait in my office for a few minutes. I went and visited with some folks in the operations office for about a half-hour.
Then I returned to my office. I opened the door, stepped just inside, and stopped. He was sitting comfortably in the visitor chair in front of my desk.
I looked him right in the eyes, paused for dramatic effect, and said, ‘I just don’t think this is going to work out.’ I stepped back and nodded at the door.
He left. I was told sometime later that it took a couple of days for him to remember who I was and how we had been connected.
My informant told me he referred to me as ‘That rotten son of a witch.’ That was fine with me, I guess I was a bit of a jerk in that particular relationship.”
Another User Comments:
“Not surprising that he called you out; many people can dish it out, but when someone dishes the same to them, they get all butthurt.
Good job.” Charles Gleason
5. Won't Change The Title On The Car And Keep Getting Tickets? I'll Call CPS
“A few years back my old car was on its last legs; my mechanic said it wouldn’t last much longer and the best thing to do was sell it cheap and move on before it gave out and was ready to be scrapped.
I loved that little car, but I put it up on Craigslist for $500 and got a bite. The guy buying it was in his 20’s with a pregnant wife and his dad was footing the bill. I was clear with them that it was sold as-is and I couldn’t make any promises about its longevity.
The buyer said that if it lasted 6 months he’d be happy with the purchase, so he signed the bill of sale and I handed over the title.
I immediately went to the DMV website and registered it as a sale and assumed he would finish the process by transferring the title.
Turns out I was wrong about two things: the car lasted much longer than 6 months, and he didn’t bother to pay the $77 to transfer the title.
I discovered this when I received a photo radar ticket for running a red light. I was confused because the street was way across town in an area I rarely visit.
When I went online to view the high-res traffic cam photos I found it was the buyer in my old car, but my name was still attached to the plates! After some serious cursing, I copied all the records, dates, bill of sale, etc. and mailed copies off to the courthouse.
It was his citation but I had to prove it to the court.
Two weeks later I got another letter from the fuzz.
Another ticket, this time for speeding. Same driver, same car, same plates with my name still attached. Again, I had to copy all the paperwork, write a long letter to the clerk, and mail it all off to the courthouse.
The third ticket really made me mad. I started making calls and discovered that this scam is pretty common. Some folks buy a junker and rack up fines until they wreck or abandon the car, and their name was never on it so nobody bothers to punish them for it.
It’s all on the previous owner to clean up the mess and prove who was at fault. This time I wrote an extra-long letter to the court clerk and did a little research to include the guy’s picture, home address, and listed phone number.
A few months went by and I thought it was over. Heck, the car should have given out by now anyway. Then the fourth ticket arrived, showing him in high-res zipping past a radar cam in my old car with my old bumper sticker still on the back (Giant Meteor 2016!) and all his kids piled into the backseat.
The fifth and sixth tickets felt like Groundhog day. I didn’t even bother to put the paperwork away, I kept it out on my desk ready to copy. By the time the seventh ticket arrived, we were well over a year beyond the sale, and enough was enough.
This wasn’t just some dude forgetting to do some paperwork, or not knowing the right way to go about buying a car. This was intentional.
It was time for some pro revenge.
First I called the police and, after a week of back and forth, finally spoke with a traffic cop who said ‘enough is enough’ and went to pay the guy a visit.
He said he couldn’t disclose what would happen during that discussion, but the total amount of the likely unpaid traffic tickets was enough to get his attention. The tickets and late fees were several times the value of the car.
That wasn’t enough.
Just having to pay his tickets wasn’t appropriate for the 7 freaking times I had to copy that darned bill of sale for the court clerk. So I started going back through my records of every ticket and every photo, and I found an interesting theme: in every photo, his tiny kids were in the car, including the newborn infant, all packed into the backseat.
Hhmmmm . . .
I called Child Protective Services anonymously. I didn’t provide any information that was not 100% factual and verifiable. The tickets showed that this guy was operating an identity fraud scheme out of his home, essentially stealing my identity and who knows how many others.
His children were present throughout. Furthermore, he regularly violated traffic rules and put his children in serious danger by speeding, running red lights, and committing other traffic violations.
If he was doing this stuff so often in front of a big white camera how do you think he was driving when he wasn’t being watched?
I declined to provide my name or number, as I had nothing more to offer and didn’t want to be involved in the case any further.
I gave them all the evidence I had of three small children in repeated dangerous and illegal situations, all of which were verifiable by photo evidence and court documents.
After that, I stopped getting traffic tickets from him. Maybe the car finally gave out.”
4. I Became A Cautionary Tale
“I don’t know why I am sharing this, but here we go. When I was in middle school I got picked on a lot, I was that really big kid who just did not stand up for himself.
Every new school I went to it usually started okay, until one kid would test me and see me not do anything about it, then it would spread like wildfire.
Needless to say, I had a miserable time in middle school. It was spring and at the time I was a part of the track team, and being a bigger kid, that meant throwing shot-put and discus.
There was this one fat dude named Eric, who wasn’t all too popular himself, and he had decided that to earn some cred for himself, he would start laying into me. I would snap back at him every time he insulted me, but I didn’t want to take it past there and he knew this.
The constant insults continued for weeks, every day after school I had to stay for practice for a couple of hours, and here was Eric constantly heckling me.
One day I decided I had enough, my mind was made up, I was either going to get the daylights kicked out of me or I was going to demolish this jerk.
Having never been in a fight before I worked out how I wanted to do this for quite a while in my head before beginning, meanwhile the whole time he just kept running his mouth. I was at the point between tears and rage, I was standing in the discus ring holding the discus, and there was his fat face cackling at me.
I decided I would throw the discus at him and then charge.
In my mind’s eye, I imagined that the discus would hit him in the arm or back, or possibly even get slapped away as I ran towards him, after all, I tossed it underhanded like a frisbee, not what I thought had any force behind it.
NOPE! Instead, he just stood there, staring as the discus flew towards his face. I will never forget the sound/sight of when the discus made contact.
All of a sudden the rage that had been building inside of me was gone and replaced by immense sadness for him.
He took off running towards the coaches, and I was right behind him. I couldn’t contain my crying as I followed step by step behind him, hearing the gargling wails and screams for help.
We were both ushered into the coach’s office quickly, I was too hysterical to answer any questions, the ambulance came and picked him up, and my way overprotective and somewhat sociopathic older brother came and sheltered me from the barrage of incriminating questions coming from the coaches.
My brother grabbed me to pull me out of the room and take me home. The coach shoved past him and pushed me back into the chair stating that I wasn’t going anywhere. My brother turned around and knocked him out cold and we left.
Over the next few days, everyone kept their distance from me at school. The principal finally called me in and asked that I write a statement of what happened, I said it was an accident and that it slipped. Turns out the rest of the guys who were around had turned in statements saying the same thing, a while later they confessed they thought Eric had it coming, and they were glad I had finally stood up for myself.
Truth is, I don’t feel great about it. As an adult, it is a memory that haunts me. What makes it even worse is that we moved that year and I ended up going to a different nearby high school in the same district.
Freshman year at track practice, the coach sat us down and told everyone my story as a cautionary tale of safety. I don’t think he knew it was me he was speaking about. Over the next few years I would hear classmates and teachers and other people in the community repeat it as almost an urban myth, all the while I sat quietly knowing the true story because it was about me.”
3. Try To Use My Friendship To Hide An Affair? Not Happening
‘”So a few years ago I worked at a Fortune 100 company.
I was there on a contract. Everything was great. Really liked the team, the boss (Paul) was great. He and I could talk about anything honestly as two guys.
He’s been to my house. I’ve been to his. His wife is funny and a stay-at-home mom. If it wasn’t for the boss/contractor thing, we could be bros outside of work. At some point, there is a new woman contractor (Mary) that starts on the team.
She sits in the cube next to me. She’s married, pretty hot, a little bit flirty, just generally great to talk to. She and I hit it off right away.
We become pretty close. We become friends, texting each other at night about work and family and just general stuff.
Every now and then she throws some random comments out there about me coming over to her place. Which, from a self-esteem point of view, was just a big plus in my book. Never took her up on it, but could have. We have our normal disagreements about how to run stuff, complete tasks, etc. and while those got heated, it was just two strong-willed people having different opinions.
No big deal. She becomes a family friend. Our kids play together, families go to events together, etc.
Fast forward to about 4 months later, I am chatting with my boss late at night (project cutover), he mentions that he is jealous of how Mary and I can ‘fight and clear the air and just move on.’ I thank him for the compliment and didn’t think anything of it.
Well, within a couple of weeks boss-man and Mary are doing lunch together constantly. I ask him if I should ‘move out of the way’ as it is obvious that he likes her (Remember, I am there on a contract, so my boss can fire me without a reason – that’s why I treated him with deference).
He says no.
Life goes on for another couple of weeks this way. Then he puts her on his pet project. All of her time is now allocated to his stuff. He doesn’t have time for the rest of the team as ‘all of his attention is focused on his project.’ I am sure you can see where this is heading.
It was quite obvious to the entire group that they were having an affair. The entire group was up in arms about this because this ‘new’ girl is getting all of the boss’s attention, getting perks, etc. The same old story that you have heard about before.
Needless to say, I too am upset. I am losing Mary, my BFF. I figured we were friends enough to keep being friends even through her affair. Obviously not.
What bugged me about the entire thing is that I told my boss (who was also a friend) that his affair with her was ruining my work relationship and my personal relationship with Mary.
He denied to my face that they were having an affair, which was such nonsense because I overheard him talking to her on the phone saying how he wanted to come over to her place for one of their ‘status meetings’ and make out with her (Side note: There were also a couple of photos of them that were taken by people on the team – One was taken in the office at a group celebration for someone’s birthday.
In the background, you can see them in his office with his hands on her butt, and another one where the team was out to a concert where everyone was drinking. People finally noticed that they disappeared. One of the women in the group took a pic of them kissing in his car).
Of course, I didn’t tell them about these pictures during our talk. Screw him and her.
Less than a month later, we do a shuffling of cube locations, ‘to better align the people who work on projects together.’ I am moved to a ‘deserted island’ – no one around me.
Handwriting is on the wall. One month after that I am cc’d on an email to my contracting firm informing them that my last day will be 2 weeks from that email.
So through this whole thing, my ‘friend’ just quit hanging out (and I get why) and stopped caring.
Mary pretty much just dumped me as a friend. I didn’t like it. I tried to ask her why to see if she would say anything at all– no dice. Her allegiance was to Paul now. I told her that I was upset. She told me she didn’t care and didn’t have time for me.
If you want to have an affair go for it.
The whole affair part didn’t bother me (too much). I will admit to some envy there, but I am not going to sacrifice everything I have. Just not worth it to me. What bothered me was the lack of respect that they both showed me.
I was pretty honest with both of them about what the team was saying, how everyone was feeling, etc. What they did was take my honesty and use it so that they could cover up their affair better. For example, when I said people were noticing that she would leave and then Paul would get his coat on and leave within 5 min, he started leaving his coat in the office and leaving about 15 min after her.
When I said that people noticed he was giving gifts to her and not to the group then all of a sudden the group started getting stuff too. Stuff like that.
What was funny (in a messed up way) is that about 4 months after I was gone, she started being friendly again, random, ‘How are you?’, ‘My day sucked’ texts.
Anyway, I moved on work-wise. Still texted her every few days after she started texting me. Again, nothing major. Just pleasantries. But that anger was still inside me because of how vulnerable I made myself to her and how I felt I was used.
So I resolved to get even.
I waited a full year (and heard that she had accepted a full-time position with my former boss). I then sent an anonymous email to his wife letting her know about the affair and giving her details and the proof (the pictures) too.
Mary, of course, called me, so did my former boss.
He was angry! I told both of them that I did not do anything (‘How could I, I have been gone for more than a year. I don’t know anything about your life anymore!’)
I heard that both of them got tossed out of their homes and are getting divorced.
They deserve each other.
Moral of the story, if you are going to have an affair be discreet and keep your friends close. Or have the nerve to say, ‘I don’t want to be friends anymore,’ and not be a passive-aggressive jerk. Because if not, they may become your enemy and might be even more passive-aggressive and look for revenge.
Did it make me feel better that I did it? HECK yes.’
2. Kiss Your Cowboy Boots Goodbye
“During a bad patch in my (now) 41-year marriage, my husband and I separated and saw other people.
This is about one of the guys that I went out with.
I was in college and was active in the school’s student government.
We used to go to seminars that included all of the community colleges in my state.
I met this guy, Jim, from a different community college. Jim was a full-blooded Blackfoot. He was gorgeous, at least physically.
We started seeing each other and pretty quickly he asked me to be exclusive with him.
It was my understanding that we were both exclusive.
One night my friend, Sunny, and I drove the 65 miles to see Jim.
When we got there I saw that his Chevy van was a-rocking. I went to the back (rear) doors and opened them. He was with some woman I later found out was named Twyla.
I quite loudly told him to get out of the van. He did and she crouched in the back of the van with the doors locked. I guess she thought I was gonna attack her. I wasn’t! She had thought they were in an exclusive relationship also.
Anyway, my friend said we had to leave to drive back home. Jim jumps in the car to go back with us.
Now here’s the revenge part! Jim was a pretty well-known local rodeo rider. During his most important rodeo, the first prize was a pair of custom-made snakeskin boots and a $500.00 prize.
The boots were his pride and joy. So, Jim didn’t take the time to put his boots on before he got in the car. He just laid them in the car seat.
As we are driving, Jim is trying to explain that it’s not his fault that he was unfaithful.
He said that the distance between us was a major factor in his decision to be unfaithful.
Additionally, he is telling me that if I was ever unfaithful to him, his anger would be uncontrollable and I would pay dearly.
As you can imagine, that angered me big time.
It so happened that we had to cross a big bridge on the way to my house. The bridge was about 35 miles from where he lived and his van.
As we crossed the bridge, I quickly gathered up his boots and threw them out the window, over the bridge rail, into the river.
Once we got across the bridge, Sunny stopped the car (hers) and told Jim to get the heck out.
We left him there standing by the side of the road, in February, without any shoes (boots) on his feet. BTW this was years before cell phones.
I didn’t hear from him for about three years. By this time, hubby and I were back together. Jim called me wanting to meet up and talk about getting back together.
I let him talk for maybe 15 minutes. I asked him about Twyla. Seems she dumped his butt the same night.
Needless to say, we did not get back together and I haven’t spoken to him since. I did hear that he had moved to Texas to be a cowboy.”
1. Enjoy Your Lower Paycheck
“I worked as an assistant manager at one of the main Pizza Chains (I will leave the actual company unnamed). I had been there for roughly two years and seen many Assistant and Store Managers come and go, either being transferred or quitting.
Some were good, some were bad.
One Particular Assistant Manager that joined our team (We’ll call him Josh) was a complete jerk right from the start. A scrawny little punk in his early 20s. He has a smug, condescending attitude, treated everyone as if they were inferior to him.
The one thing that really pushed me over the edge was when he accused me of stealing, sent me home, and told me I was fired. All the while, refusing to listen to my suggestion that he check the security camera. Also, keep in mind that we were both assistant managers.
I’ve been there for over two years. He had been there for only a few weeks.
After I left, I called the Store Manager and explained the situation. He didn’t care whether I stole something or not, he just stated that Josh had no right to do what he did.
As for the revenge I got against this smug little punk…
I had come to open the store and found it a complete disaster. Everything like the oven and such were still running, food was left out, etc. When I opened the safe I found the bills all just strewn in there.
The correct procedure would have been to count the bills. Keep $500 organized and stacked in the safe and put the rest in a deposit bag to be taken to the bank that night. All he did was toss the bills in the safe, leaving them unorganized, and didn’t do any paperwork or deposit.
I call the Store Manager to find out what happened and he informed me that according to the drivers who were working, Josh had a mental breakdown, began throwing and kicking stuff then just sent everyone home several hours before the store was supposed to close.
If he hadn’t quit, he would obviously be fired. Either way, he wouldn’t be working for us anymore.
I went back to the safe, opened it, and while obscuring the camera’s view, pocketed about $200. I then called the manager back saying, “Hey, I counted, but it’s like $200 or so short.
I don’t even know if we still have orders from last night that need to be can-”
He cut me off saying, “Don’t worry about it. He didn’t take care of it, it’s on him. If it’s short, it’s coming out of his last check.””
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