Banned For Life: People Share Where They Were Kicked Out From And Why

Have you ever been banned from somewhere? It’s not an entirely common action to be subject to, and hopefully, your answer is a simple no, but it certainly happens to some people! There’s no denying that a significant amount of bannings are a result of drunken behavior or even just belligerent behavior. There is a fair share of those occurrences in the stories below. However, some of these people were banned from places for, frankly, very silly reasons. But if nothing else, it’s a funny story for them to tell their kids! Some bannings are definitely warranted, but some leave you angrily scratching your head in a fury. Some you can’t help but just laugh and shake your head at. We have found a plethora of stories fitting all of these scenarios. Keep scrolling to read these poor people’s stories and bask in your *hopefully* non-banned glory.

49. You Won’t Be ‘Steak And Ale’ Anymore

“This is one of my favorite stories. Way back when I was a senior in high school (in the late 80s), two of my friends and I went to a restaurant called Steak and Ale (which all closed in 2008).

We sat down and ordered some appetizers and a few beers. One of my friends looked a lot older than 17, but the drinking age was 21.

They brought us our appetizers and our beer. We smiled and started ordering the most expensive things on the menu – Filet Mignon, Lobster, etc….and they brought it to us…along with more beer.

Between the three of us, we racked up over $100 in food and beer, (remember, that was the 80s when things were a little cheaper).

Then we got up and left, obviously without paying our tab.

As we were almost out of the building, our waiter came running up yelling at us for not paying the bill. The manager soon followed. We said we had no intention of paying the bill. The manager was p*ssed. He said he was about to call the cops.

Then my friend, Dale, said ‘Go ahead. Call the cops. Let them see that you just served six beers to three 17-year-old kids.

Sure, we’ll get busted for not paying for our beer, but you’ll lose your liquor license. You won’t be ‘Steak and Ale’ anymore. You’ll just be ‘Steak’!’

We were no longer welcome at Steak and Ale.” icepigs

48. My Friend Is Banned From Mexico – Like, The Whole Entire Country

“Not me, but a buddy of mine is banned from Mexico. Like, the entire nation of Mexico.

He’s in the Navy, and his first foreign port was Puerto Vallarta. He was only 18 at the time, but the captain of the ship can authorize his sailors to drink in foreign countries if their drinking age is below 21, so he did.

He got so pants-sh*ttingly wasted that he wandered away from his liberty group, which is a big deal in and of itself, and wound up in a residential area. He ralphed all over himself multiple times, and decided it’d be a pretty good idea to change.

He broke into a house, just a random house where it must have looked like they kept good men’s clothes, walked straight up to the second floor, where a woman was sleeping in bed, and just started rummaging through her husband’s things until he found some clothes that suited him, and apparently paid her absolutely no mind.

Don’t worry, ma’am, just stealing some clothes.

Understandably kind of freaked the **** out, this woman calls the police, who come and arrest this guy, who is obviously confused as to why he’s not allowed to change after he threw up on himself.

He spent the day in a Mexican jail until the Navy came and got him, and the terms of the release was that he not be allowed to return to Mexico ever.” faustrex

47. Stealing Golf Balls: What Could Go Wrong?

“I am banned from a country club just down the street from my neighborhood.

When I was 16, my two friends and I finished a round of golf and we weren’t ready to go home yet. Being the brilliant teenagers we were, we decided to roam around the course and try to steal golf balls that had just been driven down the fairway. What could go wrong?

The first attempt at this was the only attempt. We heard the group tee off and our estimate on how far away we needed to be down the fairway was dead on.

We sprinted as fast as we could and grabbed the balls and tore off across the course. When we looked back, we saw three golf carts charging forward behind us. We kept running at a dead sprint towards my car which was about five holes over in the parking lot. We made it to my car with the golf carts not too far behind.

Here’s where it gets sad. My first car was a beat up Toyota Rav 4.

Anyone who has driven one of these knows that even a brand new one doesn’t have the fastest acceleration rate, and this particular one had seen better days. We all jumped in my car and I stabbed my key in the ignition with perfect aim on the first try. I floored it in reverse and jammed it into drive and took off. I made it about one hundred feet before I was caught up to, and cut off by an old man in an electric golf cart.

To this day, I have never had the cops called on me for a more pathetic reason.
No fines or tickets were issued, but we received a lifetime ban from the course and a stupid story to tell for the rest of our days.” Source

46. I Was Banned From Ski Resort Before I Was Even Conceived

“A random ski resort that I have never been to in Pennsylvania. Last year, my cousins and a few friends attempted to go skiing at a ski resort about 2 hours away from my house but in the same area where my cousins and entire extended family are from.

Upon going into the resort and attempting to buy a lift pass, I’m told that I can’t as I have a lifetime ban resulting from an incident in 1982. One, I have never been to this particular resort, and two, I’m in my early 20’s and wasn’t even born in 1982. Regardless of this they wouldn’t make an exception and let me buy a lift ticket.

Upon returning home and telling the story to my grandma, she informed me that my dad (who happens to have the same name as me) and his friends got in an all-out 20 person brawl there when he was in high school and was banned for life from the ski resort.” deleted

45. The Game Store Clerk Had It Out For Me

“I may or may not be banned from a local games store.

In August of 2012, I moved in with a pair of friends, who are a couple. Then this store (let’s call it Rogue Robot, because that’s what it’s called) opens up. We’re all gamers and it’s close to our place, so we hang out there a lot. I’ve been friends with the owner for years since he and I used to hang out at the old game store that closed in the same location.

So me, this guy, and this girl are living together and spending a lot of time hanging out at this store.

Then I start hanging out with just the girl a lot, as we have a lot in common and hey, why not, right? Then the girl expresses her feelings for me. And she’s like a ten while I’m like a six, so that’s cool. But ya know, she’s with this other guy, and he’s paying a third of the rent, and he’s a friend, so I try really hard not to mess up their relationship. But I remain friends with the girl and let her know that I’d be interested in her if she were single.

Also during this time, the guy becomes friends with the store owner, who then starts telling the guy that I tried to stab him in the back and steal his girlfriend. Absolutely ridiculous, never had an interest in her, and would never do that to a friend. In November 2012, the girl broke up with the guy. She had asked me about this beforehand, because, ya know, we were good friends and she needed advice. I did everything I could to make sure she was breaking up with him for her own independent reasons, and that she wasn’t just breaking up with him to be with me.

I mean, I liked her and all, but I didn’t want to be with a girl who might turn around and do that to me. Plus, ya know, rent.

She assured me that the relationship had just gone on a lot longer than she had ever planned and that moving in with him had made her realize that the relationship was becoming more serious than she ever wanted it to be. So she has her own independent reasons for breaking up with this guy.

Great. Sucks that my rent is gonna go up, but I’m not going to stand in her way and convince her to stay in a relationship that she doesn’t want to be in.

So the girl breaks up with the guy. I come home from work and he’s p*ssed at me, talking about how the store owner warned him that I was gonna steal his girl or whatever. He storms out and spends the night at the store owner’s place.

He comes back the next day to get his stuff, barely talks to me.

I try to talk to the store owner and confront him about his accusations toward me. No response. Maybe a week later, the girl and guy get together for lunch and a sort of final closure talk. Guy tells the girl, and the girl later passes on to me, that we’re both banned from the store.

Whatever. There’s a better store across town. Worth the drive.

Also, I’m marrying the girl in July 2016.” Horse625

44. Childhood Antics Coming Back To Haunt You

I’m banned from Kennedy Space Center in Florida. When I was 5 for 6 years old my favorite movie was “The Rescuers Down Under,” if you’ve ever heard of it (relevant). There is a scene where the lizard sticks his head through something and it gets caught.

Well, I decided to imitate this as a child and force my head through two metal bars in the jungle gym.

You guessed it, I was stuck. To this day I’m not sure how I got my head in there but getting it out was impossible. It took several firefighters, some jaws of life, and a lot of apologizing for a completely ruined play gym to get out of there.

Before we left, they took down our information and we thought nothing of it, or at least I didn’t, until I’m 16 and on a field trip with my high school down there.

They stopped me at the front gates and told me I would not be allowed to enter for “destroying property in 1997″. I didn’t know what they were talking about until I called my family. Yup.”luepillquestion

43. Never Insult The AOL Chatroom Moderator

“Back in the days of AOL, my sister and I were in an AOL chatroom for kids – the chatroom had a moderator and everything. The moderator was doing what he does – moderating; and this upset my sister and I.

We called the moderator a “butthead” and immediately lost our dial-up signal. A few days later, we got a letter from AOL saying that we were banned from the internet. Ah, the early days of the internet.” amymariebe

42. Being Fired For Doing Nothing Wrong

“I am banned for life from working at Walmart over something that really wasn’t my fault. I was 16, and it was about 11 PM on the umpteenth night in a row that they had worked me that late and I was exhausted.

Somebody came to my register with a ton of merchandise, about two grand in all. He wanted to pay with a check. It seemed suspicious but I asked for his ID and it matched the check. Everything seemed legit, and I rang him up.

The next morning they took me into the back room and explained I was being fired for “gross misconduct.” It turns out the customer had used a computer to alter the routing number on the check he had paid with, so when I ran it through the register it drew money from an account that didn’t exist.

Now, this is Walmart, a company that makes about a trillion dollars an hour around the world, and they fired me over something nobody would have been able to notice. They called it “gross misconduct,” meaning that I can never be hired at another Walmart.” j0npau1

41. A Pizzeria Where Every Cent Counts

“Pizza Street — it’s a buffet pizza restaurant. When I was 17, I went there and ordered a coke. They gave me a glass and I filled it with coke.

The manager comes to my table while I’m enjoying my sh*tty pizza and holds his hand out and demands $1.50. I ask why, and he says that I have a water glass, so I clearly ordered water.

I didn’t order water. They gave me the wrong glass. I’m sure he gets this all the time, so I go up to the front to see if they’re out of the water glasses. The guy says they are, so they were giving everyone a soda glass.

He says this RIGHT TO BOTH OF US. Then, the manager says that I still owe him $1.50, because it’s a fee for the glass, not the soda. Are you kidding me? I tell him no and he threatens to call the cops for stealing (***?) I’m young and dumb so I stand up and start yelling at him.

He kicks me out, I refuse to leave, he calls the cops, the cops escort me out of Pizza Street.

I tell the cop what happened, he does not believe me, so I tell him to ask the guy inside about the glasses. The guy inside says they were out of soda glasses. The cop goes in and gives the owner a talking to and comes out and out of his own pocket, refunds my money. I’m 30 now, still haven’t forgiven them.” (deleted)

40. The Mystery Of Being On The “No-Fly” List

I was on the USA’s “No-Fly” list for many years.

So, every time I checked in at an airline ticket counter, the check-in staff would inform me (and, by extension, people in line behind me) that I was on the “No-Fly” list.
They would proceed to take my ID and call some number to talk to someone who would decide if I could get my boarding pass. Sometimes they’d get a security guard to come to stand around and just watch me while they were getting clearance to board me.

As you can imagine, this did not go over well with the people in line behind me, many of whom seemed to be making mental notes of my appearance to see if I was going to be on THEIR flight.
So embarrassing. It went a lot more smoothly if I was traveling with friends (who couldn’t contain their laughter at their friend the ‘terrorist-suspect’), but if I was alone, they treated me with a lot more suspicion.

To this day, I have no idea why I was on it. I’m European/white, albeit darker-skinned than most (think Italian/Greek), so it’s not a clear-cut case of racial profiling. And I’ve never been in trouble with the law or anything.
The only thing I could think of was that I went to Morocco on holiday a few months prior to 9-11, but I still don’t know how they could have known that–and even still–going to Morocco is hardly suspicious activity.

EDIT: It was a bit daft of me to suggest that there was no way for the TSA/NSA to know that I went to Morocco. True, I didn’t fly there, but I sure used a debit or credit card while I was there.
(Duh!) But, as many have pointed out, sharing a name with a criminal and/or terrorism suspect seems to be enough to get put in the list. That’s probably what triggered it.” False95C

39. The Glory Of Getting Un-banned

“When I was 13, I used to sneak into my local university’s athletic center to play soccer.

My friends and I would sneak underneath a fence and play on the really nice surface they had instead of the sh*tty free fields around the corner.
We got caught one too many times, and the facilities guy banned me ‘for life’.

Fast forward 5 years, I attend university. Which one you might ask? The very same one I’m banned from the athletic center. I end up playing on the soccer team. One day I’m practicing on my own on one of the pitches, and the facilities guy comes out and says ‘Oh no, you can’t be here, I remember you.’

I then showed him my team gear, saying ‘Nope, I can use these now,’ and he angrily acknowledged no more ban.” kierdoyle

38. The DJ Absolutely No One Asked For

“Four different bar jukeboxes.

The first was for queuing up ‘Sloop John B’ by the Beach Boys 20 times in a row. Still kinda surprised the machine let me pull that off, and that there was no kill switch. They actually had to unplug it after the 8th or 9th play. People wanted me DEAD.

The second and third were both for my habit of slipping Weird Al songs in with the normal Saturday night rotation. ‘People are complaining.’ Whatever.

The fourth was a few weeks ago.

Some drunk girls had lined up probably fifty bucks worth of country, and weren’t letting anyone else near the jukebox. Fortunately, there’s an app, and it lets you pay an extra credit to jump the line and have your song play next. So I played Sufjan Stevens’ 25-minute “Impossible Soul,” followed by all 20 minutes of “The Diamond Sea” by Sonic Youth. Long story short, I don’t think they ever got the refunds that they DEMANDED.” sharpenthesea

37. Banned For Doing My “Civic Duty”

“Banned from a club because I got very drunk, got behind the bar and started making people drinks while the staff were sorting out an argument in another room.

At the time I was like: The people want their drinks? I shall step in and do my civic duty!

I thought I was doing a pretty good job, took the right amounts of money etc, people seemed happy to get their hops etc but the staff came back and weren’t impressed with me. Even less impressed when I said I would go, but “First I have to make THIS nice gentleman a Bullfighter!”

Security asked me to leave and I was banned.

The place has changed ownership 3 times and I still can’t get in.” sunnydolphin

36. The Audacity Of Some Waiters!

“I’m banned at a Friday’s near my house. A few years back, my friend and girlfriend at the time got very drunk and decided going out to eat at a public establishment would be a good idea. I was by far the drunkest. So I’m being a complete jerk and making a mess. I spilled my drink on the heater and when the waiter came back he said ‘What the **** is that?’ referring to my spilled drink, obviously and understandably pretty p*ssed.

So I ordered another drink, the waiter came back with it, and this is when s*** hits the proverbial fan. He gave it to me in a child’s sippy cup. Now, if I hadn’t been irrationally wasted, I would’ve laughed along with everyone else, but alas, the liquor had taken the helm and the seas were rough. I grabbed the sippy cup and proceeded to burst into the kitchen of the Friday’s. Everybody freaked out and I demanded an adult-sized soda.

I was promptly escorted to the door and was told I wasn’t allowed there anymore. I still feel bad.” deleted

35. All I Wanted Was To Get In Shape

I got a ban from a gym after just 30 minutes into my first session.

After signing up on an annual contract, the lady told me that I had no need for an introduction and could start straight away if I had my gear with me, which I did. I set off to the machines and got started on some squats before moving on to a weights bench.

This was when the trouble started.

Enter Daniel, a hulk of a man with a torso wider than a 4 wheel drive and the expression of someone changing a baby’s diaper for the first time. Walking over to me, he asked me where my towel was. I did not think to bring my towel into the training room with me and had left it in my bag for showering afterward. Note, this was my first day in this particular gym and I am far from a regular gym-goer.

I started to tell lovely Daniel this, but he cut me off and informed me that (a) he didn’t care and (b) ‘We have rules in our gym and people who don’t follow the rules get kicked out.’

It turned out this was the gentleman who would be supervising my gym sessions on behalf of the fine people at FitStar. Brilliant. Apologizing to the helpful Daniel I left the gym to get my towel and came back to start on another machine.

Enter Daniel once again. ‘Why did you not tidy the weights on your other machine?’ he asked, the vein on his forehead throbbing like a ticking, purple time bomb. My attempts to explain the situation were once again cut short as he informed me that this was my last warning before storming away to tidy my machine.

After a minute or two of me sharing glances with ****************** gym-goers who have been watching the situation unfold, I followed him to help tidy the weights from the old machine.

As I got near, he turned around and told me that ‘If I knew what was best for me, I would get out of his face.’

Enter p*ssed off me. I don’t get angry when I get p*ssed off or upset, I just feel that there is a need for justice in these situations. So, before turning to leave Daniel, I asked for his name so that I could write a very stern letter to management about his behavior.

Staring me down, he informed me that he would not be giving me his name and that if I didn’t hear him the first time, I should get out of his face.

Enter the FitStar name tag that was pinned to lovely, gentlemanly Daniels’ chest. ‘Oh, no problem,’ — looks at name tag– ‘Daniel. I will be leaving now.’ I smugly grinned up at him and turned around, thinking nothing of it.

10 minutes later I was out of the gym, on my *ss, with a letter saying my membership had been canceled due to, and I quote, ‘verbal derailment.’

Thank you, Daniel.” Jeffmander

34 Banned For Being Resourceful

“I’m banned from a local movie theater.

My friend and I were seeing a movie probably every Friday for a little over a year. Naturally, we decided it would save us a lot of money by sneaking in snacks.

This evolved into a challenge over time.
We wanted to see just how far this could go without being caught. 6-pack of soda? No problem. Bottle of wine and a shrimp cocktail? Easy. Apparently a battery-operated blender, ice, and margaritas was too much.” HiMyNameIsNerd

33. Taking One For The Team

“I was banned from a hockey rink once.

We were in the middle of the game and there was a bench-clearing brawl. I had previously been in trouble for fighting (I wasn’t a goon, just had a rare fight literally the previous game) so I hung back and just stood next to another player on the other team to wrap him up. He managed to skate away as I was watching the brawl unfold.

Then I see him out of the corner of my eye, jabbing the pile of people with his stick.

Well, I just can’t let that happen. Spearing is super dangerous. So I skated up and sucker-punched him right in the face. Probably would have been better gripping him up to just keep a hold of him, but I was angry. So down he goes, out cold. The ref only sees me sucker punch, everyone only sees me sucker punch.

This kid was over here hard spearing people with a stick, but because no one saw that and only my reaction, I am a villain.

Parents are screaming ****** murder, how dare I hit that innocent kid. So they throw me out of the game immediately and the ref escorts me off the ice. On the side of the locker rooms were the penalty boxes.

Welp, there were two opposing team players in there already. They began to chirp me and say a whole bunch of obscenities. Well, enough was enough, so I climbed up the plexiglass wall separating us and dove into their penalty box and started swinging.

It’s an aquarium of blows in there and the refs don’t realize until they go to bring other people into the penalty box.

Anyways, long story shorter, they rip me out and throw me out of the arena and ask me what my hockey bag looks like and my sticks. They grab all of that and chuck it at me and tell me I am never allowed back in that arena.

I definitely don’t justify me jumping in the penalty box, it was a goon thing to do and I wasn’t a goon.

I was just super angry and already riled up at that point. I made a poor decision. However, I stand by taking the spear kid out. He deserved to be knocked out cold. All it takes is for his stick to go into someone’s throat and he kills someone. **** that kid.” Troub313>

32. Banned For A Severe Lack Of Manners On Our End, Or A Lack Of Humor On Their End?

“Double Dragon Chinese restaurant in Washington.

My friend jokingly bet my stepfather that he couldn’t make the small and quite packed restaurant go silent with one belch. My stepdad said he couldn’t do it. Turns out he did.

He let out a massively obnoxious burp that even took us by surprise even though we knew what he was doing. Now almost everybody in there was quiet and looking around to see who just did it, except for like three people who were still talking.

My friend, not wanting to be defeated, belted out another one that made the first one seem like an almost tasteful warmup. Yup, that one definitely shut everybody up and left no doubt about where it had come from.

We calmly stood up and went to pay the bill in dead silence and were walked out by the manager who told us we were not welcome back there.” Coffee_iv_drip

31. Taco Bell Does Not Forget

“My mother is banned from the local Taco Bell.

She was drunk and belligerent in 1983, and she’s still on their list of banned people.

My friend worked there in high school and called up my house, asking why on earth my mother was on the list of people banned from Taco Bell.
Apparently they have a huge running list dating back to the early 1980s. Of course, my mom at 52 and my mom at 23 don’t look terribly similar, but I guess they could still get her by name.

If she ate at T-Bell.” coldsandovercoats

30. ‘Around The World In 80 Beers’ Should Not Be Completed In One Night

“I am banned from the Shoney’s in Clarksville, TN.

One night a couple of Army buddies and I decided to visit the Franklin Street Pub in downtown Clarksville. Like most soldiers, we were almost as short on money as we were common sense, so we skipped dinner to save money for beer. The Franklin Street Pub had a special called “Around the World in 80 Beers.” Basically, if you drank these 80 beers from various countries within a year you got your name on the wall and a T-Shirt.

Being dumb, we decided that we were going to get as far as we could in one night and let the other 364 take care of themselves.

While beer after beer came to our table we decided that we were rather hungry so we ordered “Macho Nachos.” A gargantuan plate of red and blue corn chips smothered in toppings. After we scarfed them down, the evening became a blur. I recall getting hung up in the British Isles (so to speak) and then a brief trip to Japan for a Sapporo beer.

Then … just blackness.
I woke up in a strange barracks room and peeled my face out of a crusty puddle of bad “Mexican” food and Asian beer. I stumbled to the bathroom to wash up and purge myself of the remaining nachos. I was so hungry. Those nachos were all I had eaten in the past 36 hours or so and now I had coughed up what was surely the rest of them. I had

I went downtown to Shoney’s where I knew that an amazing breakfast buffet awaited me.

Eggs, waffles, and savory breakfast meats were exactly what I needed. I walked in and was seated in a booth. I ordered coffee and headed straight for some good old ‘Merican style overconsumption. As I grabbed my tray and started down the line I was joined by another fellow who seemed to be the only guy in the area hungrier than me. I moved down the line preparing to scoop food into my plate when I got a familiar acrid flavor under my tongue.

So I did what had always served me well in the past. I took a long breath in through my nose.

Mistake.

The scent of buttery eggs, greasy meats, and fried potatoes was like a punch to the senses. Before I knew what had happened…

On the sneeze guard.

In the food.

On my tray.

On the tray of the hungry guy behind me.

My shoes.

His shoes.

Everywhere you could see there were red and blue corn chips. Some of them, impossibly, seemed whole.

I have no idea how there could have been SO MANY left. We must have ordered more or something. So many chips. So much foulness.

I returned to my booth to get a drink of water and a sip of coffee. I looked up to see an army of aproned drones clearing the entire breakfast bar. I was immediately approached by the manager who told me that I had to leave. As I was walking out I grabbed a sucker because … well, I had an awful taste in my mouth.

He snatched it from my hand and SCREAMED, ‘NO! JUST GET OUT NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!’ It was pretty ******* rude, actually.
So I think I am still not allowed. It was two decades ago and I haven’t checked. Now I want nachos though.” deleted

29. Interrupting The Flow Of The Game

“Timberwolves games: The ball came out of bounds (I had courtside-ish seats) and I promptly hid the ball under my seat instead of giving it back, and the officials didn’t see who had it.

They had to grab another ball for play, which they don’t enjoy doing, especially after 5 minutes of arguing with everyone in the row over the ball (long timeouts aren’t appreciated).

Fast-forward to post-game and I tried to get the team to sign the game ball, and they quickly realized that I had caused the disturbance and turned me in to security.

I didn’t get any charges (theft of property?), but I didn’t get to keep the ball either (It was signed by a few players too, before someone realized what was going on).

Banhammer was officially for interrupting the flow of the game, similar to a delay-of-game penalty.” maniamgood0

28. Don’t Mess With The Disney Mascots

“I’m not allowed back into Disney World in Florida because I beat up a mascot.

I was with some friends and saw the guy dressed in the army man outfit all decked out in green from the Toy Story movies. He was ducking behind benches and carts and what not and he ducked behind a garbage can.

I thought of a great idea to scare the crap out of him by kicking the metal rectangular garbage can. My friends egged my 16-year-old self to run up to startle the guy, so I sprinted up and executed a flying double legged dropkick to the can to make sure it was as loud as possible.

I THOUGHT the can was bolted to the concrete. It sure as **** wasn’t. One of those Newton Balls toys on executive people’s desks could be the best way to describe what happened next.

He went flying across the sidewalk and the garbage can landed on top of him. The whole crowd stopped dead in their tracks as everyone stared right at me. My first thought was to run but they caught me in the Indiana Jones Store trying to buy clothes to change my appearance with.

They took my picture and I’m never allowed back.” MYBALLZAK

27. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

“MDA Camp. (Muscular Dystrophy Association summer camp):

MDA camp is a week-long overnight camp where volunteers look after kids bound to wheelchairs due to muscular dystrophy.

I was not only my cabin leader but also the camp lifeguard. But every morning, I would wake up to clean the pool and I would find poop in the pool. Big poop. So as the lifeguard of children with already suffering immune systems, I had to say that they cannot use the pool until I shock it and get the pH down to normal. Long story short, poop keeps getting in the pool. Camp director says to me ‘Find a way to make it happen.’

I mean, how often do kids in wheelchairs get to use the pool? It’s the best part of camp! So I need to make it happen.

I do a stakeout one night, to make sure nobody is messing with me. Around 2 am I see a small otter-like animal climb into the pool. I have a small net and it won’t get this huge rat looking thing. So I stalk this thing around the pool, building my frustration. Eventually, I get p*ssed off and take my 18-foot aluminum pool pole and whack this thing on the head–boom, headshot. I bend the pole around 20 degrees and the otter looking animal’s brains are leaking into the pool.

I have a Rambo moment and dive in after it.

I climb out of the pool dripping wet and holding this bleeding over-sized rodent by the tail. Apparently the camp nurse was making her rounds and saw I wasn’t in my cabin and went looking for me at the pool. She pulls up in her golf cart as soon as I pull myself out of the pool and sees me holding this thing by the tail and says ‘You killed it didn’t you? You killed it!’ She does her little 3 point turn and screams over her shoulder ‘Murderer!!!’

Apparently she was a national-chair-board-holder-member of PETA and had me removed from camp by sunrise the following morning.

I say my goodbyes as a hero and all the kids get to swim in the pool that day.

The rodent was actually a nutria, a South American vermin that is highly detrimental to surrounding aquatic ecosystems that usually requires a professional to remove.”curlyone959

26. Gorillas Are Not Fans Of Getting Ice Thrown At Them

“The Birmingham Zoo.

I was around 10 at the time, and it was my first visit to the zoo. Everything had been glorious and wonderful, and I was most excited about seeing the monkeys.

They frolicked and played and lit my heart up with Christmas cheer in the middle of Alabama summer. Then I got to the gorillas.

The squat, lazy little ******** didn’t move. At all. I stood there in the blazing sun for five minutes just waiting for any impression of life. Instead, they sat. In their little cliques, they sat. So, me being a horrible person and a huge nuisance at the time, I took the ice from my drink and began dropping it in the pit to see if they’d respond.

Of course not.

Then I started throwing said ice cubes at the gorillas. The smaller ones would freak out when I pelted them. The middle-sized ones would just look at me like, ‘Can’t you see my life is **** already man? Just leave me alone. Go bother the gibbons.’ I was ****** and determined to get a response, so I threw a small handful at the biggest one in the pit. Then another. Then the whole cup.

Turns out that huge one was the alpha male, I think they’re called silverbacks, and he wouldn’t stand for my ***.* Oh no, sir. But he knew he couldn’t reach me, so being the standard Alabamian father figure he was, he picked up one of the logs in the pit and vented his frustration upside the heads of the rest of the pack.

It didn’t take long for the caretakers to burst in the pit and start trying to defuse the situation with treats, lassos and I would love to believe a tranquilizer gun.

I wouldn’t know, because security promptly escorted me from the premises asking how they could get in touch with my parents. Good times.” rohanivey

25. I Really Dropped The Ball On This One

This story leaves me with quite a few questions — Where did they get this bowling ball from? From the K-Mart? Or did they lug this ball with them?

But most of my questions can be summed up in one word: …Why…?:
“A specific K-mart branch, for life.

I put a bowling ball up my shirt at age 13 and staggered around complaining that my water was about to break, to make my cousin laugh. I dropped the bowling ball and knocked over a huge pyramid display of cans of tennis balls.

The associate called my mom over the loudspeaker and told us that we all had to leave and not to ever come back.” droste_EFX

24. I Named a Build-A-Bear After ******

“I’m banned from a Build-a-Bear in my hometown mall.

One day during summer, my friends and I were walking around when they decided that they wanted to check the place out. We walked in, looked around, and I got bored. I look over and they have all these computers they use to print these pseudo-birth certificates for the bears. In order to create a birth certificate, you have to enter a code. I just thought to myself, how hard could it be to guess a code? I figure out how long the code is by looking around and trying a random number.

No go.

I try again, this time it works. Now I could choose to exit the program or I could have a little fun. I choose to have some fun. I start filling in the certificate with random crap. I name it Adolf, it lives on 666 **** Road. You get the picture; this is one screwed up bear. I press print and book it out of there.

I walk all the way across the mall (and this was no small mall) and go into a store.

Five minutes in the store and a Build-a-Bear employee and a few mall cops are at the store with the certificate I had printed.

They came up to me to ask if I did this and they got me on camera. I’m a little like ‘Why the h*ll are you asking if you got footage of me?’ But I say ‘Whatever, yeah I did it.’

They tell me I have to pay for it. I tell them I don’t have any money (a lie).

So they are like whatever, you are banned for life. If you come back, we will call the police. They then had the mall cops escort me out of the mall.” evilmonkey820

23. I Was Going To Get That Refund

“I got banned from ‘Mattress Warehouse’, a local Mattress Company here in Lancaster County PA.

Mattress Warehouse did not want to refund our money for a headboard we had purchased but was never delivered ($600.00 headboard!!). We had just ordered a completely new king bed including Boxspring, Mattress, and related accessories ($3,000 plus for everything).

They always promised a replacement headboard, but we didn’t want their replacements, we wanted the headboard that we had purchased. Apparently this particular headboard was no longer carried in their inventory.

So after numerous attempts over a one month period in person, via phone, and via e-mail I finally took yet another trip over to their location with invoice in hand, e-mails, etc and spoke to the manager. Basically, she told me I would get my money back when they decide to release it back to me in the form of a store credit… (I paid cash for the entire set by the way)…

After all I had been through this was the last straw.

As she sat there smirking at me, I decided I had enough and grabbed the pen out of her hand that she was using to write a message on another invoice and threw it across the room, partly because I had lost all sanity at this point and was determined to get what I came for. I was going to get that refund.

She said that she was going to call the police, which I told her to go ahead because the store was ripping me off.

She stated that I had assaulted her by taking the pen out of her hand and wanted me out of the store. As she continued her tirade against me while speaking to the police, I calmly went to a bed, sat down and waited for them to arrive.

There were three cruisers that showed up, and I was sitting there when they came in and asked me if I was involved. I explained to them about getting my money back, and the frustration I had gone through with this company trying to get what belongs to me back, and that I refuse to take a store credit for something that I never received.

I wanted my cash back.

So after speaking to the officers they told me that no charges were going to be filed, but the store manager wanted me banned from the store. I told them that I don’t mind signing it, if she agrees in writing to send me my refund within the next couple of days.

They wrote my being banned, and her acknowledgment, to pay me what is owed to me on the same paper.” amishdoctor

22.Banned For Asking For Raw Toast

It equally baffles and amazes me that this person got three adults to legitimately go and search for this! I know that ‘the customer is always right,’ but what about when they are just plain obnoxious?

“I was banned from Walgreens for 3 years because I was able to get a manager and two employees to help me find ‘raw toast.’

Their District Manager was there and just looked so defeated when he figured out what was going on.” JMAN7102

21. A Dry Village Doesn’t Mess Around

“I am banned from a village in Alaska located on St.

Lawrence Island.

I was an intern and I was sent to this village to complete some work. While there I met up with a local girl that I met in Anchorage. She was nice and shy and I bought her a drink and we talked. I asked where she was from and she explained that she was from a nearby town. I told her that I would be visiting there the following week for work.

Of course, she didn’t believe me, so I told her to look out for me when I got there.

It’s a small village, mind you, so when the plane lands villagers are there. Lo and behold, there she was smiling away.

I met my contact there and was given a four-wheeler as transportation. I rode up to her and said, ‘You believe me now?’ She was smiling ear to ear in disbelief. She asked where I would be staying and when I would be done with work so we could meet. I told her and headed off to complete what I was there to do.

That evening she asked if I wanted to go for a ride so of course, I agreed. I rode with her and she took me all over. Once we were ways out of the village she busted out with a fifth of booze. I was like, ‘Holy ***!* What are you doing with this?’

Certain villages in AK are dry, damp, or wet. Wet meaning there’s alcohol allowed (sold and possessed). Dry meaning absolutely nothing tolerated. This village was a dry village so I was freaking out.

I’m not one to shy away from breaking the law on occasion, but this was some **** I didn’t want to be blamed for. She was like, ‘Don’t worry, no one is going to know.’ I was dumb, again. So we drank into the sun-filled night. In the middle of the day-night we went back to my bunkhouse and the foreman there was all p*ssed off but didn’t say anything as I brought her in.

I woke up to banging on the door the next morning.

Hungover, I answered and the foreman was like, ‘Get her the h*ll out of here! What were you thinking!?’

‘What? I can’t meet a girl here?’

‘No, you can’t bring alcohol here dumb*ss!’

‘What’s wrong?!’

‘That girl is the chief’s daughter and they were looking for her all night.’

‘What!’

‘We’ve notified the authorities and confiscated your bag to see what else you brought.’

‘*******!’

So,* I couldn’t leave the bunkhouse.
During this time the council had a meeting about me and decided that I leave and never return.

They wouldn’t press charges because I didn’t have anything in my bag and I had never done anything like this before. I couldn’t leave the bunkhouse until my plane arrived. Now, Alaska being Alaska the weather closed in. I got fogged in until Friday morning, and I finally left on my flight with a crowd of onlookers. To this day I have never been back.” m3ch1979

20. Adolescent Antics Can Only Be Tolerated For So Long

This story makes me laugh because it was written years ago, but to think if this story happened now in 2020, the employee would say the complete opposite of what he told these kids regarding their masks!

“My friend and I were banned from a nearby Albertsons because we kept going in and screwing around while only buying a little.

We were finally banned because my friend came in wearing several masks. An employee told us ‘If you’re going to shop here you can’t wear that mask,’ so my friend took off the mask, only to reveal another. Employee repeats himself with a p*ssed off look on his face. My friend repeats.

This went on a couple of times before we were kindly asked to leave.” MrChalking

19. Banned For Public Nudity Without Even Being Cognizant Of It

“I’m banned from a small town in Saskatchewan.

We stopped there on the way west when I was just a lil guy, and while I was up on the changing table, my mom turned around to get something. I hopped off the table, sneaked out the door, and proudly sauntered up Main Street, right after Sunday church let out, bare a*sed naked. Waving at people. With my p*nis.< My mom had gone the wrong way looking for me, and my dad... Well, he saw me, but was doubled over laughing and unable to actually walk after me.

Apparently, when the townsfolk tried to cover me up, I ran, pausing to wiggle my winkie at them every once in a while. When everything settled down and I was reclothed, we were advised that we were never welcome in town again. Never. Ever. Again.” CervantesX

18. Don’t Mess With My Mom And Her Veal Parmigiana

“A few years back my mom wanted to go to this Italian restaurant for her birthday dinner. She looked it up online and they were having some kind of special on veal parmigiana.

It was 15 bucks for the veal and a side of spaghetti. Sweet. She called the place and they said it was still going on.

It was my parents, my brother and I, and our grandparents, so six total. We go and all order the veal. Super awesome dinner. Everyone had a good time. Until they brought the check and it was 200 bucks.

And my parents lost their ***.* Call the manager over. Dude goes ‘I’ve never spoken to you before, I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ My parents don’t take **** from anybody.

They just start screaming.

My brother and I thought it was the usual ‘You forgot our other order of fries’ until this point. I’m super embarrassed. My grandparents are as white as the table cloths.

The owner tore up the check and threw it at my dad and told us to get the **** out. My parents ask me and my brother to leave.

Then about three minutes later my grandparents come out of the restaurant followed closely by my parents.

I asked my grandparents what happened and my grandfather goes, ‘Well, our whole family is never allowed back in there, and dinner was free.'” ThrowWhenThreatened

17. When Your Doppelganger Almost Gets You Banned

“So I used to work at this BBQ place, and about a week after I quit. Then as luck would have it, some dude who apparently looks just like me came in, ordered a big saucy meal, then proceeded to mess up like half the restaurant with BBQ ***,* but first clogged the women’s toilets.

Not the men’s.

Just the women’s.

He was a he.

Anyway, that happened. Fast forward like 3 weeks into my new job, I’m feeling this BBQ place — I used to work there, maybe some past coworkers are there and it will be cool and I can eat and whatnot. Walked in the front door, and half the staff was like ‘ITS THAT *****!’

So* I get rushed by new hires and new managers wondering what is going on, getting demands like ‘Get out of the store!’ ‘You owe us money!’ ‘Why are you back??’ holding brisket and chicken fingers and such.< Feeling entirely unloved and confused, I decide to get out before I get stabbed with chicken tenders.

Before I walk off the porch, the old GM and a cutie cashier I used to talk to there came out and was like ‘HOLY **** YOU’RE NOT THE GUY!’

So I went in, got my food, talked with the cutie cashier and old GM a bit, heard this magnificent story, and went home.” Lebowskii

16. Atrocious Customer Service Yet WE Were Banned

“This random restaurant in Germany. Let me tell you a story, children…The year is 1998. I was six years old, spending three weeks at my American aunt and German uncle’s house in rural Germany along with my parents, my younger sister, and another aunt (Germany Aunt, Other Aunt, and my mom are sisters).

One day, after a day of pastries, slightly disturbing old amusement parks, and general tooling around, we decided to stop at the most aggressively quaint German town any of us had ever seen. Laura Ashley, Pinterest, Disneyland, and Zooey Deschanel’s genetically mutated spawn could not achieve this town’s level of quaint. Because I was six, my sister three, and our cousins (My American Aunt living in Germany’s kids) were seven and five respectively, the adults decided that we should get something to eat.

We go to a quaint but reasonable looking restaurant, get a table, and sit down. The adults order.

An hour passes. OK, it’s Europe, their ways are foreign and strange to us. But an hour of no food for two preschoolers and two young elementary school-aged kids is just asking for disaster. Finally, the food comes. Nothing is correct. Nothing. And what was passable in terms of accuracy tastes terrible.

Germany Aunt/Uncle and my parents decided that we need to get out of here and just eat at a bratwurst place because screw this.

Check, bitte. The check is exorbitant. Keep in mind that we waited over an hour for terrible, incorrect food and even more terrible service. My dad’s credit card gets declined even though it worked everywhere else in Germany; Germany Uncle’s card won’t work either. The maitre d’ then says something insulting about my parents, so my dad slams on the counter an undisclosed sum of cash (17 years of hearing this story and I still don’t know the exact amount of money he slammed down), saying that that’s all he has and that’s all they’ll get.

The maitre d’ points to the exit and yells to all of us (in English), ‘OUT ZE DOOR.’ And that’s how my entire family got banned from a restaurant.” meiyoumayo

15. I Lit My Membership Card On Fire

“Not that it matters anymore but Blockbuster. The manager was crazy mean to me so in a fit of rage, I pulled my membership card from my wallet, lit on fire with my cigarette lighter and threw it across the counter.

Later, Corporate sent me a sweet letter explaining why I was never allowed back.”deleted

Another User Comments:

“My wife was also banned from a Blockbuster. My wife called the clerk a liar, the clerk said “Are you calling me a liar?” to which my wife replied, “Well, if the shoe fits,” at which point the clerk threw her shoe at my wife.

Never did get a letter from corporate but at this point, I’m pretty sure they had announced the closing of all stores.” – CorpCounsel

14. My Week As A Nigerian Prince

“Gaiaonline — it was a Weaboo roleplaying forum that had avatars you could dress up.

You bought clothes and accessories for your avatar with gold that you attained by browsing the site, submitting posts, or playing flash games. You could get rare ‘items of the month’ by donating real money to the site. Naturally, these items would be worth a lot of gold because no teenager has a credit card to make the donation.

Well, I was tired of being poor in this game, so I came up with a plan. I had seen a few phishy personal messages get sent around that were pretty obvious.

But they used this one phrase that stuck in my head, ‘Gaia Gold Generator.’ I figured, if these scammers can do this and get an account or two, I can do this WAY better.

The scheme was hatched. I would buy a membership to one of those Quiz websites that lets you put simple question/answer prompts up, makeup five BS questions about what items they liked, and how much gold they wanted, and then I asked the Big Two — username and password.

Now, the only thing I had going for me over these other scammers was they asked for all this information in a private message. My quiz website had the Gaia Online logo eeeeeverywhere. I tried to match the fonts and even the background colors.

So now, how to get my first sucker? Enter the high school computer lab; Gaia was kind of a ‘thing’ at my high school. It was like MySpace before we all got into MySpace.

So, I camped out. I got on as a temporary TA for the computer lab monitor and just waited for someone to click that oh-so-wonderful box, ‘Remember My Password.’

I’ll never forget the day it finally happened. He was a big metalhead, NOT the kind of guy you expected to see on a cutesy little anime website but hey, no judgments. After about 20 mins of doing random errands for my assigned teacher, Metalhead got up and headed out into the hallway.

I figured, may as well see if he logged out.

I snatched his computer, opened up Internet Explorer and headed to Gaia. When the page loaded, my heart stopped. Metalhead had almost two million gold on his account. He also had a HUUUUGE friends list. This was it. This was my whale. This was to be the seed of my evil empire.

Since Metalhead had a decent looking avatar, people might think this gold generator was legit. I opened a new personal message, wrote some sappy ‘I shouldn’t tell too many people about this, but if you want gold check this site out,’ and then CCed his entire friends list onto it.

I deleted the message from his outbox, logged him out, and quickly decided I needed an excuse to get home NOW, since one message from Metalhead to any of his friends could bring my whole scam crashing down.

Thank god my school served terrible, terrible seafood. I ate as much of the worst tasting shrimp on the planet because I KNEW I’d be blowing chunks out of either end and would be sent home ASAP. Cue vomiting in the restroom and BOOM, big bro is giving me a ride home.

After I got home, I grabbed my laptop and headed into the bathroom. There was work to be done. The anticipation was immense. Would people fall for this? Are people that gullible? The answer? Yes. Yes, they absolutely are. I logged into the quiz site with bated breath to check my results, and from the moment I pushed that login button I was blown away. I had 200 answer forms, almost all of Metalhead’s friend’s list had taken the bait.

Sure, every now and then I’d get an ‘Eff you I’m not giving you my password,’ result, but those were way fewer and farther between than I thought they would. It felt like Christmas.

I started typing in usernames and passwords, checking to see what these newly acquired accounts had on them. I spent the better part of four hours sitting on my toilet, changing passwords, and changing recovery emails. In their eyes, this generator must be legit.

How else would a character that was just yesterday wearing 100gold starter gear now have a Nightmare scarf and a Kiki Kitty on it? (Two very old and expensive items).

Now, Gaia had a very easy to follow trading system. One person proposes a trade, the other person responds. First person confirms trade, second person confirms, and boom, items are swapped and a note is made in your trade log of what got traded and who it got traded to.

This meant it would be very easy to track what items went to who. But what Gaia ALSO had was a gifting system. You’d pay a small amount of gold, buy wrapping paper, and then just send it in a private message to whoever you wanted.

The best part? The person giving the gift had no indication of a trade or message or anything. Items just poofed after you hit confirm. This was my life for the next week.

Stealing accounts, moving items around, sending out a phishing line, rinse, repeat. I had almost everything in the game. Any item I could ever fathom wanting was in my sea of stolen accounts.

I’m not gonna lie, this week was one of the most fun times I’ve ever had. People liked me because I had gear, and I gave it away often. I had three main accounts I used for myself. The account I made myself and all my friends knew, my own mule account, and another mule I picked up earlier on and used as a kind of bank account.

But any time I wanted one of my forum posts to get popular, I would just log into a stolen account, post, log into another, post, and then other people would show up to whatever I was rambling about in the chatterbox.

One day, I logged into one of these stolen accounts and I got linked to a page I’ve never seen before, saying ‘This account has been banned for violating Gaias terms of service.’ My heart sank.

They were onto me. My plan wasn’t as foolproof as 14-year-old me had assumed.

I quickly logged out and tried my main three accounts. They still worked, but for how long?  Everything I had gotten would be gone. My week of fun was drawing to the end. So I figured, why not go out with a bang? I felt that everyone should feel what I had felt this week, getting everything they ever wanted in-game. So I made a giveaway forum post in the good old chatterbox.

I started offloading EVERYTHING people asked for. Angelic scarf? Free. All yours. Kiki Kittys? Done. Ninja headbands? Take them all. DJ Headphones? Well, I only have one but you can have it. Halfway through this giveaway, I realized I might be able to make a salvage operation out of this thread.

I made three new accounts, posed as newbie beggars in the thread, and started sending them the stuff I really wanted to keep. Maybe I could slip in unnoticed and keep some stuff for myself.

Every time I gave something away, I didn’t gift it, rather I used the trade feature so there were logs for everything and it all seemed legit to all the recipients. A week of thievery, one night of philanthropy.

After giving away my massive stores of items, I logged out, and went to bed. I slept well that night. Lying to hundreds of people nonstop really takes a lot out of you. I woke up the next day and tried to log into my main three accounts.

That now familiar screen popped back up. I’d been banned. They’d gotten me. I tried the new accounts I’d made, hoping I’d still have all my precious Coco kitties and gold. My heart sank deeper — they’d been banned as well. I guess I wasn’t as clever as I thought.

I made a new email and new account and started browsing the site as a newbie again. I’m F5ing the chatterbox when I see my giveaway post on the top of the page.

It didn’t make sense. I stopped giving away items hours ago. Why were people still there?

I curiously clicked the link and headed to the last few pages to see the newest posts. What I saw blew me away. Gaia, in their infinite wisdom, had banned EVERY SINGLE player who had gotten an item from my account. Now, I scammed a lot of people, but I gave items away to WAAAAAY more. I broke down in laughter.

I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a supervillain. I had single-handedly screwed over more than two thousand people between stealing their accounts and getting them banned. It was amazing.

Within a week there was a new post in the Announcement Forum, ‘Introducing the Report a PM button.’ That was the day I hung up my phishing hat. I changed my web browsers homepage from Gaia to Google, logged out for the last time, and went outside.

I haven’t told many of my friends from high school about this story, for fear that I could have stolen one of their accounts and they’d be angry.
However, I still think about it a lot to this day.” HobocoreHero

Another User Comments:
“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME BANNED. ARE YOU ***ING** ME. MY 13-YEAR-OLD WEEABOO A*S WAS DEVASTATED. YOU MONSTER. I HAD SO MUCH COOL **** ON THAT ACCOUNT, SAVED UP MONEY TO BUY *** AND THEN BANNED.

AND THEY TOLD ME IT WAS BECAUSE OF A TRADE FROM A GIVEAWAY. EVERYONE WAS BANNED.. ***. Ok, I’m done. That was like 9 years ago.
It still stings. Buhahahahahahahaha. You ****** ******. Ahaaaaa.” deleted

13. Four 13-Year-Olds Being 13-Year-Olds

“A bored thirteen-year-old boy is a cause for caution. When there are four thirteen-year-old boys and all of them are bored, it’s a recipe for disaster. My Boy Scout patrol had been on our way to some campsite or another when our method of transportation started to cough and sputter in a way that suggested something might be wrong with it.

Citing a desire to fix the issue before it became a real problem, the car’s driver – who was also our Scout Master – pulled off at the first parking lot that he could find, which happened to be in front of a gas station.

We were instructed to stay within earshot while he attempted to get his vehicle running right again, and while that really shouldn’t have been a difficult mandate to follow, at the time it felt like a severe limitation.

After all, the only things in the area were the aforementioned gas station, a large expanse of flat nothingness, and a dead animal of some sort by the roadside. As we weren’t allowed to venture toward the horizon, that left either the sun-dried corpse or the gas station’s convenience store as our source of entertainment. This was a time before smartphones existed, which meant that we had to invent our own ways of passing the time, and that usually involved a descent into either madness or mischief.

Had my fellow Scouts and I been thinking more creatively (or destructively), we might have found interesting ways of combining gasoline and roadkill… but instead, we focused our attention on the gas station itself, and the lone attendant running it.

I’ll spare you the details of our shenanigans, as they’re probably not that funny to someone who wasn’t there. (They involved a lot of giggling and yelling of “MEEP!” at each other.) Suffice to say that after three or four failed pranks, we became aware of the fact that he – the attendant – was having, well, a ****** encounter via his phone with someone.

Upon realizing this, my friends and I took it upon ourselves to make things as awkward as possible for the guy. That was how we wound up standing in a semi-circle around him, holding a crudely-drawn sign that demanded ‘Free Moldy Ding-Dongs’ while singing the bridge to ‘Surfin USSR’ over and over and over (and with escalating volume). If that sounds like an absurdist’s fever dream, just imagine how the poor attendant felt.

To the man’s credit, he endured the insanity fairly well for a while.

It was only when my friends and I started dancing that he finally sighed, slammed down the phone, and pointed a dirty finger directly at my face. ‘You know something?!’ he shouted. ‘Get out! If you come back, I’ll call the police!’

Needless to say, we made a hasty break for the exit… but about fifteen minutes later, we got bored again.
After a lengthy discussion (which mainly involved saying ‘You do it! No, you do it!’ over and over), my friends appointed me Ambassador to the Attendant, tasked with apologizing for our misbehavior and asking if we could purchase some snacks.

He said no.” RamsesThePigeon

12. Caught By The Big Man

“So when I was 16, my friend and I were in a high school video class together where we made a weekly news program for our high school. Well, a few weeks before the draft I contacted the Vikings to ask permission to record the draft party and at that time it was held at their training facilities at Winter Park. We got permission to film and the press person from the Vikings even got us press passes so we could go all around the party and film what we wanted without being harassed.

The only place he told us not to go was to any press conferences.

So for a while, we stayed in the main building and taped people’s reactions to our 1st round pick and everything and while doing that we got into a discussion with a writer for a small Minnesota newspaper who saw our press passes and wanted to know why a couple of 16-year-olds had them. We told him how and why we had them and where we couldn’t go.

At that point, he said they were just about to start the press conference to discuss our first of two 1st round picks that year and to come over and film it anyway since there were so many people anyway. We decided to go ahead and head over since it was actually just the reception area of the main entrance of the building and was easy to find. We got set up and filmed the discussion of the pick and afterward left our camera standing and started to wait for the 2nd pick when I saw Ziggy Wilf (owner of the Vikings) talking with a few media members.

I saw him see my friend and I and then noticed him making a small head motion our way and about five seconds later there were two large security guards standing in front of us asking who we were and who we were with.
We very sheepishly said we were from our local cable access channel (since the show runs on that after our school sees it) but he didn’t care and told us to get out and not to come back.” thenome

11. I Was Banned For Trying To Help Out A Local Business

“I’m banned from my favorite burger joint.

Proof that “No good deed goes unpunished” is true.

About 2 years ago I was searching Yelp for recommendations on a great cheeseburger. Turns out a new place opened up a couple of miles from me so I headed there for lunch. I’m pretty sure it was the best burger I’ve ever had. The owner and I struck up a conversation and became friends over my next few visits in a short period of time as I tried a few things from the menu.

I work for a private jet charter company in the LA area, and we have a client from the east coast who wants In and Out burgers anytime he flies out of our airport. I mentioned to the owner (let’s call him Erik) that I had a client who would love his burger, and that if the schedules ever worked out I’d love to put his foot on the plane. Erik was excited at the prospect, and I told my client about the place and he too got excited to try it.

After about a year and a half, the stars aligned and I was able to cater from this place for a flight. I called Erik and told him I was placing an order for the client we talked about, and Erik said he wouldn’t do it. I replied with ‘You promised me you’d do it, I’ve been talking up your burgers for a long time and the client is excited about it, so yes., You are doing it.’ After some back and forth I agreed to be there at 3:30pm, for a 4pm flight.

I made it very clear I had no time to mess around, and that I wanted the food as fresh as possible. No problem.

Well, the client called at noon to say he wanted to fly at 2pm. I called the restaurant and gave the girl who answered the phone the change. I showed up right at 1:30 pm like I said I would and nobody knew anything about the change. I go crazy and everyone scrambles to prep the food as quickly as possible.

I JUST barely make it to the plane right as the client pulls up. I’m slinging 14 orders of food to the flight attendant as fast as I can and they close the door, and away they go.

A couple days later I get a text from Erik that says, and I quote: ‘Jeff I hope that everyone was happy with their meals. I heard that YOU came in to pick up after telling me you would come in at 4:15.

I will (sic) tolerate dishonesty nor will I knowingly (sic) deal with dishonest people therefore I am asking you to never again use our restaurant for either business or personal.’

Anyway, we went back and forth and now I’m blackballed from Yelp’s 60th best restaurant in America because I tried to do him a favor and make a great client happy.

Oh, I forgot to mention the client didn’t like the burgers.
Hah! Sigh.” JMorse1969

10. Dad’s Crazy College Years

I could not imagine looking for colleges and finding out my dad had a lifetime ban on one of my top picks.

This is too funny:

“My father is banned from Ithaca College for stealing a Christmas tree with some of his frat brothers (he went to Cornell). He received a lifetime ban at that point, and then was arrested again when he violated that ban and the same security guard caught him the next week.

When I was looking at colleges, I was told I wasn’t allowed to apply there because he couldn’t come visit.” waterfountain_bidet

9. Goin’ Hard For GTA

“Gamestop in Dewitt, NY. I showed up early to the GTA IV midnight launch, and decided to grab a few beers at TGIF (in the mall).

I got hammered, and it was a little after midnight so we decided to head down to pick up our games.

When I got inside the store I was wobbling around and stumbled back into some shelves.
The force of me hitting the shelf was enough to cause me to hurl everywhere. I was escorted out of the store, and the mall itself.” Lightforge

8. A Different Kind Of Karaoke

“I am banned from the local karaoke bar because I would choose instrumentals and just stand there telling dirty jokes the whole song.

Please go do this! Most places have the wedding march at least and it’s a great break from murdered songs.” Stylinghead

Another User Comments:
“My mom chose ‘Tequila’ as her karaoke song one night….. And. Missed. The. Lyric.

It’s one word.” Nexas_Fatebringer

7. I Pretended To Work At Best Buy

“I was banned from Best Buy for pretending to be an employee.
I bought a shirt at Goodwill and walked around the store telling customers to *** off if they came up to me.” Contricepticon

Another User Comments:

“That’s actually probably the best advice anyone at Best Buy has ever offered a customer.” TXang143

Another User Comments:

“Me: ‘Excuse me, I’m here to buy a new HDMI cable for my blu-ray player.

Can you tell me about this one?’<= Best Buy Employee: 'That one? Sir, please, if you use that one you're likely to get a venereal disease. Check out this one. It's gold, copper, and adamantium-plated for a maximum display resolution of 79,000 terawatts, and allows information to travel at a rate of 152 million KPI per second. It processes information so quickly, that you will be able to watch episodes of your favorite TV shows that haven't been filmed yet.

I have one, I just watched Game of Thrones season 14. It turns out, the whole thing was just Jon Snow’s dream, and he’s a part-time employee at Office Max. This cable is ludicrously sophisticated. It can actually build tropical islands, then turn into a rocket ship and fly you there for day trips. All of this, you can have for $600.’

Me: ‘…I mean, that’s awesome, but I’m good with the $15 cable, probably.’

Best Buy Employee: ‘Absolutely sir, let me ring that up for you.

Speaking of ringing, make sure you wear a pretty solid hauberk to bed, because this cable has been known to strangle customers in the night. It’s particularly cursed.’

Me: ‘That’s…that’s fine.
I’m fine.'” Faustrex

6. Banned But Left With An Iconic Tale To Tell

“I was banned from The Bellagio Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

Best friend’s 21st birthday we decided to go to Vegas. This is my best friend. We grew up across the street from each other and have known each other our entire lives.

Live and die for this man.

So we ended up getting very drunk, which is normal for a 21st birthday. Vegas sells these ‘yard-long’ drinks… which are deadly.I  still shudder at the memories of that horrific beverage.

Three of those bad boys later, we decided that getting cheap wedding rings and getting married would be a wonderful idea. It’s Vegas, baby! We saw so many wedding parties that it seemed reasonable.

‘Wonderful! Where are the lucky ladies?’ He inquires.

‘What are you talkin’ about? We want to get married. Bro love WOOOO!’ I shout at one of the 3 blurry images.

He then lowers his voice to tell us that the state of Nevada doesn’t allow same-sex marriage.

I question his ********* towards farm animals and throw my beer at him, which breaks on the wall. Best friend and I find this highly amusing, and throw the rest of our drinks and other bottles we find.

Security arrives to find two scrawny drunk guys, giggling like schoolgirls, throwing drinks at a chapel.

We are going to h*ll.

As security escorts us out of the building, my best friend thinks it would be a wonderful idea to shoulder check me into the fountains in the main lobby.< He is correct. It was a wonderful idea. I laugh as I fall into the fountains, taking a security guard with me. I then attempt to swim in 1.5 feet of water. I splash the security guards and claim that I am Poseiden and they need to get out of my ocean.

Roughly thrown out, we are photographed and instructed to never come back.” HirosProtagonist

5. We Saw It As Free Money, They Saw It As Stealing

“One time when I was a young teen before I could drive and before cell phones, myself and six or seven friends went to the mall. We were dropped off and I don’t remember what we did when we were there except for the end. We missed the bus and we had no way of getting home.

We decided to take money out of the fountain to call home.

Well, once we realized how easy it was, we started filling our pockets with quarters. In our young minds, we got caught up and just started taking what we thought was free money. I remember being in a state of jubilee when I heard an old man yelling. I looked up and saw a fat old dude running at us yelling.

We all booked. Once we got out of the doors, everyone went right but me and this other kid went left.

We saw mall security round up the other kids but we were free. We talked and decided to go back voluntarily since we still didn’t have a ride home. The mall security guard talked *** to us like ‘Thought you could get away, huh?’

We retorted ‘We got away from you.

We turned ourselves in.’ They got p*ssed and brought us to a security room. They called our parents then our parents picked us up. My mom actually thought it was funny which was a relief to me.

I got in no trouble but I was banned from the mall for 60 days.” adverb_adjective

4. A Night To Remember (Or, Maybe Not…)

“There is a bar in middle-of-nowhere Kansas that I am not allowed to set foot in.

I wasn’t banned for strolling past the bouncer and then presenting an obviously fake ID when he tracked me inside (I think it had something to do with the fact that I had stored said ID in my bra and drunkenly showed a bit more skin than strictly necessary when presenting it to him).

I wasn’t banned for deciding that myself and my new best friend The Bride would make much better bartenders than the apathetic guy on duty, climbing over the bar and serving Discount Beers For All (I think this may have been because we declared that all our tips would go to said bartender, in the spirit of Doing *** For The Fun Of It).

And I wasn’t banned from standing on the pool table to declare a toast to The Bride and Groom, the Very Best Couple Ever, And I’m So Sorry I Can’t Remember Your Names Because I Just Met You And I’m Drunk.

I was, however, banned from the bar for climbing up the side of the building (in a pair of absolutely glorious heels btw) to catcall from the roof at passersby that This Bar Is The ***, And You Should Totally Join The Fun. The bouncer didn’t appreciate my Amazing Climbing Skills, and told me to get out of his bar and never come back. To which I taunted him that I wasn’t IN his bar, I was ON his bar, and so therefore already OUT, so didn’t have to leave; and furthermore, that he should also appreciate my Stellar Marketing Skills for his Most Excellent Establishment.

I was still yelling this to the bouncer while being fireman-carried by one of the groomsmen to the After-After Party, which they had decided I was Fun Enough to be spur-of-the-moment invited to.

That was a good night.

I still email the bride every once in a while.” talesofakat

3. When Ball Truly Is Life

“I got banned from Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was spring break a few years ago, and I went up there with some friends for a few days. In one part of the park, there is a game where you can win a basketball by making some three-point shots or something. My one friend had played basketball in high school and was really good at three-pointers, so he tried the game, and actually won the basketball.

About an hour later he had to go to the bathroom, so my two other friends and I waited for him on this bridge above a river they have there. My friend had been in the bathroom for a while and we were getting impatient, so my friend bet me ten dollars that I wouldn’t punt the basketball off the bridge (about 50 feet up) and hit a tour boat that was on the water down below.

Foolishly, I took the offer and punted the ball off the middle of the bridge. It missed the boat by about five feet and hit the water. We had a pretty good laugh about it, but when my friend got back, he was P*SSED. He was getting really upset. I hadn’t known he would be like that, so I offered to buy him another. He said that it ‘wouldn’t be the same’ and wanted me to go get the original one for him.

I finally agreed to get it, so I hopped a fence and walked down this hill to get to the water.

I walked into the water and started to swim out to get the ball. I had almost gotten to it when the same boat that I had tried to hit circled back around. All of the people on the boat started screaming that someone was drowning, and the tour guide threw one of those inner tube things to me.

I tried to tell them that I was fine, but they still threw it to me.

When I got on the boat and they figured out I was fine, they brought me back to the dock and got someone to take me to security. By that time the story had gotten mixed up and they would not let me tell my half of the story, and thought that I tried to jump off the bridge onto the boat, and classified it as an “attack on civilians” or something.

However, because no one actually SAW me, they chose to ban me for life instead of getting into legal matters.” Supercactus

2. Revenge Has Never Tasted So Spicy

“My friend has a lifetime ban from one of those monkey temples in Bali. He gave a tube of wasabi to a monkey. One monkey would squeeze the wasabi into its mouth, drop it and start crying while racing to water. Another monkey would pick up the tube and do the same.

He said about 40 monkeys had a mouth full of wasabi each. He did this because the day before he went to the temple and the monkeys stole his wallet and phone. The next day he went back with the wasabi for revenge.” sdgfdtg

1. A Lost Temper And An Even More Lost Passport

“I think I’ve been banned from Kazakhstan. I was going to go there for work. I’d sent my passport to their embassy in Singapore, from Australia, paid my visas, asked them if everything was in order and they assured me it was and that I would have my passport sent back to me.

Then the day before I was to travel, BAM…I apparently had to pay another $100 before I could get my passport back, as they hadn’t sent it back as they’d claimed.

Well, I just lost it (which I shouldn’t have) and started cursing them out.

Surprisingly it wasn’t appreciated. They told me after being rude to them my visa was canceled and not expect to get into the country any time soon. I said ‘Great, your country is *** anyways’.

They then told me to come to collect my passport, and I had to remind them that, being in Singapore, how the **** could I fly from Australia to come and get it. Missed my flights. Banned from Kazakhstan. Good times….” eightdown

Who knew it was so easy to get banned from these places? What wild stories some people have up their sleeves! Are you banned from somewhere? Let us know!