People Talk About Their Noteworthy Revenge Stories
40. Bad Mouth Me? Add Me To The List Of Customers You Need To Answer To
“I work in a small office, and my main responsibility is to answer the phones.
I’ve been doing this job for a few years now, whereas my co-worker, Judy, has only been here for a few months – but she thinks she is special bc she is related to the owner.
Judy works the shift right after me, and some days when I am done, I end up waiting around in the office for a bit until my ride gets there.
There’s been a bunch of incidents where Judy forgets I’m still in the same room (you can’t see the sitting area from the desks but it’s still the same room), and she’ll start spouting off at the mouth about something I supposedly did wrong on my shift.
To be fair, there have been times where I had gotten busy and not been able to complete something minor, and I’ll acknowledge that, but they’re tasks so minor they really weren’t worth badmouthing me about either, especially since whatever wasn’t done I would finish myself on my next shift. Or, she’ll claim I forgot to tell her something important, when in fact I did tell her but she wasn’t listening bc she was too busy gossiping to other coworkers.
She also does this fun thing where I try to tell her something and she’ll cut me off and try to guess the second half of my sentence.
Most of the time when she’s talking nonsense, she’s complaining about something I ‘did wrong’ when I hadn’t actually made any mistakes – she’s just incompetent and doesn’t perform the full scope of her job, so when I do something that she’s too lazy to do or doesn’t know how to do, she just assumes that I’m not supposed to be doing it.
Meanwhile, she makes mistakes on her shifts all the time – ones that have actually cost the company or resulted in huge headaches. So she really has no room to talk about anyone else’s performance, to begin with.
One day and this happened to be the day after one of her talking nonsense incidents, I was off the clock waiting for my ride, and it was exceptionally busy.
Multiple lines ringing off the hook. As I mentioned above, answering phones is our main job, but occasionally management will need us to check the back room for an item – like on this particular day.
Enter my petty revenge.
First, I was already being petty because if it were anyone else working, I would have clocked back in and helped out on the phones.
Instead, I scrolled and pretended to giggle at memes when I was actually giggling at her absolutely losing her mind bc she cannot handle it when it’s hectic. Then after mgmt called for the item, every time she walked into the backroom to look for it, I’d call the office line so she’d be forced to come back out.
Then I’d hang up before she got to her desk. I did this 6-7 times, plus customers were still calling too. She was coming completely unglued. The final time I did it, I heard an unholy shriek from the back room followed by a stream of profanity, and I decided she’d had enough.”
39. Purposely Trip Me At The Skating Rink? This Beginner Has Some Skills Of His Own
“I was 16. Even though I had grown up on ice skates, I was a bit out of my element when it came to roller skates.
It was my first time at the skating rink. I had gone with a bunch of other kids my age, and when I stepped off the carpeted floor and onto the rink, I fell right onto my butt.
Unfortunately, I had fallen right in front of Mr. Show-off.
He was probably in his early 20’s and he had been dancing and whirling around the rink at high speed. He didn’t see that I had fallen, and when he crashed into me, he also wound up on the floor
This angered him.
For the rest of the day, every time he went by me, he shoved me to the floor.
When my group finally decided to leave, we took our skates off and put our shoes back on. As everyone was heading for the front door, I held back. I stood by the half wall which separated the changing area from the skating rink, and I waited for Mr. Show-off to come by…
He was still dancing and whirling around at high speed, and when he came to the place where I was standing, I stuck out my arm, and I clothes-lined him right across his neck! His feet literally came off the ground, and he was horizontal in the air before he loudly slammed onto the floor!
I didn’t stick around to see what happened next. I ran out into the parking lot, I jumped into the car that was waiting for me, and I was gone!”
38. Kick Me Out And Sell My Stuff? I'll Trash Your Car With Anchovies
“When I was younger I needed a place to live and a friend (Rob) and his wife offered me their ‘basement apartment’ which turned out to be a cot on a bare concrete floor and framed walls with no drywall, right next to the laundry machines.
I didn’t really need much so I said fine and took the ‘apartment’ for $200 a month rent.
I lived there a few months, not spending much time there but basically storing my stuff in the ‘room’ downstairs. Clothes, a TV, a DVD player, and some movies, and a couple of longboxes of comics that I’d collected since I was a kid and a big wood box of hockey cards – second year Gretzky, Messier rookie, Kurri rookie, Lemeiux rookie, etc…
One weekend in the middle of summer I was heading off to the city and asked if they wanted the rent ahead of time or not because the 1st fell on a Saturday. They said after the weekend was fine, so I headed out.
Got back Sunday night and found my clothes outside and the lock changed. I pounded on the door and Rob opened it a crack with the chain on, told me they kicked me out because I didn’t pay rent and were keeping the TV and comics/cards to pay for it.
I was young and stupid and didn’t realize NONE of that was legal. I went and crashed at my friend’s house for the night and found a new place the next morning. Swung by that afternoon, paid them, and asked for my stuff back.
Sorry, I was told, but it was sold to pay the rent I owed them…even though any one of those cards would have paid it plus some.
So give me my back… No, I owed them for damages.
I gave up, like I said I was young and dumb and didn’t know my rights.
I said my ‘screw you’s and drove off…right past Rob’s car he’d gotten a couple of months earlier.
I went back that night with a paint scraper and four cans of anchovies. Used the scraper to bend the rubber seals on the doors back, and dumped a can of anchovies into each door.
I saw him the next day – +30ish degrees Celsius – pulling stuff out of the car to try and find the smell. The day after, he was scrubbing down the seats and carpet. I dropped more anchovies in that night, after outwaiting his lazy ‘surveillance’ efforts.
By the weekend that car stunk just walking NEAR it. Every time I saw him driving it he had all his windows down. Every month or so I bombed it with fish again. I heard he tried to trade it at the local dealership and they wouldn’t give him anything for it.
They moved to another province about a year later and I hope they still have that stinky car.”
37. We Used Our Neighbor's Nasty Habit Against Him
“During my freshman year of college, I was placed next to a room filled with these stereotypical, midwestern jocks. They wouldn’t say hi to anyone on the floor…just grunted. They would play their music at abnormally high levels during any time of the day (and it was bad music, they even got intoxicated and started blaring PRAISE MUSIC) but pounded on the walls with a hammer if your alarm went off for too long or had your music too loud.
They even went so far as to stuff the toilet with toilet paper and clog it. These guys were jerks …pure and simple.
My friend in the dorm had this roommate who by all accounts was a piece of trash. His parents paid for his education and I think he went to only a handful of classes.
He only used their room to pass out from drinking too much and sleep with girls. During Christmas break, he broke in and played Final Fantasy 10 for two weeks straight…to the point where he filled up several 2-liter bottles of his own pee. He threw away all but one…
So having finally had enough of the name-calling, the loud music, and just pure meanness….my friend and I had enough. We took that 2-liter bottle filled to the brim with festering urine, undid the cap…and leaned it against their door…so when they finally opened it up…2 liters of rank pee spilled everywhere…their over-entitled screams were priceless.”
36. Won't Bring Your Loud Dogs Inside? I'll Blast Their Barks For The Whole Neighborhood To Hear
“I had a good friend in high school/college named Donna. She lived with her family in a very nice house in a rural area where the houses were well spaced apart from one another allowing for plenty of privacy.
Next door to her house maybe 30 feet away was a small cottage that had originally been part of the big main property. However, it had been sold and turned into a separate property before Donna’s parents bought their house. For many years a quiet elderly couple had lived in the property but when they died their daughter turned it into a rental. The awful tenants moved in.
They were young, they had parties, they had barking dogs, they were clueless and oblivious and didn’t really care about their immediate neighbors. Calls to the property owner/renters got them nowhere. The police issued warnings with no teeth. The noise continued.
The worst problems were caused by the dogs, three of them who were left outside in the back yard at all hours of the day and night.
If one dog started barking the other two would join in and would keep it up for hours. Donna’s bedroom overlooked the back yard and the dogs frequently made it impossible for her to sleep. She often had to sleep on the floor of the den to get away from the chaos.
Donna dabbled in music and had been a singer for several local bands. She had the equipment stored at her house, mic, speakers, amps all the stuff to make sounds really loud. One night after being kept awake by the incessant barking she had had it.
She got out two speakers and dragged them to the side yard facing the neighbor’s house. She quietly got the equipment up and running and carefully rigged two mics to the high wooden fence between the two yards. While she was doing this the dogs were going wild and barking and making quite the racket.
Their owners were of course oblivious and sleeping peacefully at the front end of their rental. Donna cranked up the volume and made the speakers live. The mics picked up the dogs barking and carried it full blast to the cottage and the entire neighborhood.
Donna watched while the neighbors’ lights went on. She was careful to turn off the speakers as the neighbors came into the backyard. But as soon as they left she turned them on again. This went on off and on for an hour till they brought the dogs in.
A few nights later the dogs were barking and she turned the speakers on. This time the neighbors went out and yelled at the dogs but didn’t bring them in. Donna cranked up the volume and the awful neighbors did their best to ignore the noise.
A different neighbor called the police and when they came by the dogs were brought in again. This went on for several days until eventually, the dogs disappeared. The neighbors never figured out what was going on.”
Another User Comments:
“I have a similar story.
In a community of young couples, one family had no concern about the neighbors – noisy parties, yelling children, loud cars at all hours.
So the neighbors banded together for a loud neighborhood party and omitted to invite said family. The Police were called about the noisy party.
The best part, after the reason for the party was explained, the Police drove off with sirens blaring.
The noisy neighbor got the message and problem solved!” Anne Sim
35. Leave Me And Expect To Get A Fortune? Not If I Have Any Say In It
“I have two stories, both kind of similar in origin.
1. I was working as a waitress in a small country pub.
One Friday evening most of the regulars left, and there were only around 15 or so people in the front bar. We were not far from calling ‘last drinks’ closing for the night when in walked a guy none of us had ever seen before. He yelled out, ‘everyone put your away, I’m shouting the bar for the rest of the night!’
We wondered if he was quite sane, but he insisted he knew what he was doing, and asked that the barman bring out every bottle of booze in the storeroom, as that was what he wanted us all to drink.
After the first two rounds of shots for all present, the gentleman explained his predicament.
He was from a semi-wealthy family, with a high-paying job and was originally just passing through our ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ town when he received a phone call from his lawyer. His (about to be ex) partner had suddenly run off with another fella, and at 6 am the following morning their joint bank account would be frozen and all funds split evenly between the two.
This was before the days of smartphones and internet banking, and as it was a Friday night, no banks were open. He knew his partner was from a very poor background and was currently unemployed so she would be looking to get as much as possible.
The only thing he could think to do was to drain the account as much as possible before 6 am, and our pub was the only place of business he could find.
I don’t remember much of that night. There was a ridiculous amount of extremely expensive booze purchased by him and consumed by us all, given how willing we were to help him out.
He booked the best room in the pub for himself to stay in and paid for the rest of the rooms so nobody would have to drive. One thing I do remember very clearly is that the next day was around 45 degrees celsius (around 113F), making all our hangovers absolutely horrific.
But I do hope that there was a lot less in the account than when he first walked in.
2. I was visiting the newly purchased home of the publicans who were my employers in the first story. The house was immaculate, with four bedrooms, a large fully-enclosed outside entertaining area, landscaped yard.
The house had a room set up as an at-home theatre, with a projector and a large screen; there was a cellar and a walk-in pantry almost as big as the huge kitchen. There was nothing this house was missing, other than perhaps a swimming pool.
Good real estate as we know is all about location, location, location, and this property was a 1/4 acre corner block (in a time where block sizes are rapidly shrinking to a mere courtyard), and it was on the edge of what was at the time one of the hottest up and coming brand-new suburbs that were highly sought after.
Basically, the couple (my former employers) who bought it should not have been able to afford it.
I asked how much they paid, to which I got a lot of laughter, and they told me that it cost them between $140-$150K. This was astonishing, as the property was clearly worth at least three times that.
And then they told me…
They were driving in the area looking at anything for sale, and in the front yard of this house was a clearly homemade ‘For Sale’ sign. They stopped and knocked on the door, a young man answered. He told them that his fiancee had skipped town with his best friend and had told him to sell the house and she wanted half the proceeds.
His parents had given them the house as an engagement present, so there was no mortgage, and he obviously had access to whatever finances he needed, whereas like in the previous story, the young lady was from a much lower socio-economic background. So he decided to sell the house privately and asked my friends to make an offer.
Jokingly they went as low as possible, thinking he would scoff and tell them to bugger off; instead, he immediately said ‘done’ and put his hand out to shake.
The moral of both stories is clearly don’t screw around on your partner if you think you stand to make a lot of from their families’ fortunes because you will end up with nothing.”
34. Stand In Front Of My Car So I Can't Move? I'll Return The Favor
“I went to meet my mom for breakfast this morning and 4 older people were walking across the parking lot. I waited patiently for them to cross but 3 of them were going one way and another was going another way. An old lady going in a separate direction decided to stop in the middle of the parking lot.
She sat there talking to the other 3 for a while and then started walking and then stopped again to talk to them again. The other 3 see me gesturing to her since she didn’t see me and told her I was trying to drive. She continued talking.
So I parked really fast and walked as fast as my vertically challenged legs would take me. I stood behind her car and texted a few people, responded to my work on Skype, and smoked. About 5 minutes later she got tired of waiting for me and got out to tell me to move to which I ignored and said something along the lines of, ‘Sucks when someone stands in front of your car while you’re trying to drive doesn’t it?’ She glared at me and then went back to her car to wait the rest of the 2 minutes it took me to finish smoking.
Had a nice chuckle with my mom who asked what I was doing out there.”
33. Start A Fight Over A Parking Space? Looks Like You'll Be Missing The Hockey Game
“Trying to park downtown anywhere is difficult; especially if you spot a free space (without time restrictions!)
So I am patiently 1 car back with my signal on for the patron before to leave, the car behind me decided to send the passenger to block my access saying that ‘we’ve been around the circle for at least 30mins and you’ve only shown up.’
Reasoning with these people was out of the question. They just didn’t care. Little did they know, I’m waiting for my partner to finish her meeting which was scheduled to be THREE HOURS LONG.
I happily waited in my car (with my ignition off.. you know, for the environment) and chatted to everyone wondering why there was such a big lineup.
Being in the heart of downtown, this quickly built up a ton of traffic and bystanders. The police were promptly contacted and when they showed, the nice couple decided to argue with the police about how they were waiting for me to leave because the passenger ‘got to the parking space first.’
Even refusing to move when the police asked them to, the police arrested them.
Oooh, did I mention that there was a hockey game going on that night and that’s where they were headed? Oh! And also that they had to sit in the back of the police cruiser because the policeman happened to be riot control.”
32. Make Fun Of My Clothes? How About You Take A Good Look In The Mirror
“I was very poor growing up. Add that to the fact that the street we lived on was the border between school districts so that meant we got to go to the ‘better’, wealthier school.
Lucky us, not! We stuck out like bananas in a field of watermelons. LOL.
It wasn’t unusual that the parents in the neighborhood would give away clothing that they didn’t need anymore.
For future reference to parents, this only works well for the kids when they are very young before kids really notice things.
Once they hit around age 7, first or second grade, the bullying starts in earnest!
Often times, the hand-me-downs would be clothing often out of style, long pants when high waters were in style, or worse, high water pants when long pants were in style. This was my problem, especially as I grew and the pants just got shorter.
My mother never ‘got it’ and just thought they were ‘oh so cute!’
It’s so much easier for kids today as almost anything is accepted unless one runs with a snooty crowd.
It was bad enough that we had to deal with the bully girls pointing out how a particular piece of clothing looked so cute on me after also pointing out it used to be theirs, but the worse one was this one boy who made my life miserable for years.
He delighted in shouting my name out loud in a crowded hallway calling me high waters, a name that stayed with me up through high school.
I had other types of bullies throughout my young life, got into a few fights, got a small reputation as being someone who didn’t back down.
Mostly, I learned how to manipulate a crowd to save my butt and as such never actually had a physical fight in school. But this one boy I could do little about as his attacks were hit and runs, a quick shout in a crowded hallway, me becoming embarrassed and him moving along with the crowd, never staying long after his shout-out and gloating smile.
Oh, how I hated that boy!
Then I graduated high school and moved on to college. One that was in several towns away. I didn’t live on campus, instead, I got rides or took several busses to get there, but I liked it there. Then one day during the second semester, I was leaving a class with a few classmates.
We were walking down the hall talking amongst ourselves when I heard loud and clear, ‘Hey high waters!’ I froze, no it couldn’t be happening, not now, not here. It was so unfair! He came up to me, I was facing the other direction and slowly I turned around.
Now I didn’t plan this, but karma fell into my lap that day! As I turned around I realized this boy who had bullied me for so many years was short, really short.
After the initial shock of seeing him again wore off, I just blurted out, ‘Wow you’re really short!’ I was a bit taller than 5’5″, but he was a lot shorter than I was.
Then I laughed and laughed. I had been so wound up when he had yelled high waters that when I noticed how short he was, the tension just left my body. Oh, he did not like what I said or my laughing and he scowled and walked away very quickly and never, ever bothered me again.
I didn’t set out to get revenge, but it happened anyway and yes it was sweet!”
31. I Finally Got The Lazy Principal Fired
“This didn’t start out as revenge and I never imagined it would amount to even a slap on the wrist. It was all about our son’s middle school, some really bad, lazy, teachers, who played favorites, and the even lazier principal who protected them by lying and blaming our son (a 12-year-old!).
One teacher refused to give boys the grades they deserved and instead focused on the girls alone. Another was so old she was forgetful and kept losing our son’s work, resulting in low marks. In Mass., teachers must meet with parents at their request, by law, but these two creeps refused. Finally, someone got them to meet with us only if the principal or assistant principal was there.
The one who only liked girls refused outright, so we filed a complaint. No matter what they did, the principal kept backing them up and blaming us or our son unfairly. Finally, after they canceled a few meetings or just didn’t show up, my husband resorted to storming into the principal’s office, even interrupting his meetings.
He’s not a violent guy but very tall and strong-looking. When angry, his face is quite scary, so I’m guessing that’s why they listened to him and not me.
But it still didn’t result in improvement for our son. They struck back by ‘losing’ all his doctor’s notes for absences (he had a chronic bronchial condition).
The doctor was asked to re-submit the notes so many times (by us) that finally, they said they would no longer do it—that it was pointless (they were right) and suggested that we send copies by registered, return receipt mail. We did.
Then, the jerks put our son on the truant list and we had to go before the District Attorney!
When we presented our evidence, he was so disgusted that he chewed out the assistant principal (the principal didn’t even show), threw him out, and threatened to fine him. He took our son’s name off the list.
I filed a formal complaint against the principal with the state Department of Education.
They called and asked a few questions, then said they would investigate. I also got the same notice in writing.
We were getting desperate and luckily, a new charter school was about to open. The admittance was by lottery and after attending an info session, we signed our son up.
He got in and off he went, to a much better school! He also managed to get several of his friends to ditch the horrible city school and go to the charter school as well. Someone actually called us from the Superintendent’s to complain and I told them to stuff it…that they brought this on themselves.
A couple of years went by and I got one notice from the DOE that their investigation was almost complete. I figured it would amount to nothing. But one day I picked up the paper and on the front page was an article about angry teachers protesting the firing of the principal!
He was canned a few months shy of retirement, without a pension! You can’t imagine the joy I felt! I’m not prone to Schadenfreude, but this was like a religious experience!
I laughed with amazement as I showed the article to my husband and son.
We couldn’t believe how many teachers claimed that this guy was a ‘great guy’ and ‘so dedicated’. bla-bla-blah! Dedicated to covering their butts, is the actual story.
The town buzzed for months with news of this, both for and mostly against him. I’ve never met anyone who deserved firing more than this guy.
He never gave a darn about the pain he caused our son, so why care about him?
It took over two years, but yes, revenge was so sweet!”
30. Barricade My Door? I'll Cover Your Bed In Glitter
“My brother couldn’t sleep one night and got bored watching TV, so he went to the basement and pulled up every 40-pound bag of water softener salt my dad had and stacked them in front of my door. It ended up completely barricading my door from floor to ceiling.
When I woke up I really had to pee, but a massive wall of salt was blocking my path. I managed to push my way through and made it to the bathroom, but my dad made us both haul the salt back downstairs. He thought it was a pretty funny prank.
To get back at him I poured glitter all over the foot of his bed under the sheets. He woke up the next morning and was covered head to toe in sparkly glitter. Petty revenge tasted good.”
29. I Officially Quit And There's Nothing You Can Do About It
“I had this horrible 2nd shift job in a third-party call center. I was assigned to a magazine subscription service where customers would call in if they had an issue with their subscriptions.
I was the only one covering this magazine service – all the other 40 people in the call center covered other companies because nobody liked the magazine service. They didn’t respond to caller problems so you would find that the same people called over and over again with the same unresolved problems.
The 2nd shift supervisor was this horrible little man. He didn’t like it when we took bathroom breaks and he watched the clock on our meal breaks. If we were so much as 5 seconds late getting back from break he would yell at us on the floor in front of everyone.
One time he claimed he could not find my paycheck at the end of my Friday night shift and said I would have to come in the next day to clear up whatever issue there was (my check was in the drawer as reported by the 1st shift supervisor the next day who was responsible for putting the checks in the drawer every week).
He called one guy homophobic slurs after he was late coming back from break because he was speaking with his child’s doctor about a serious medical issue the child was having. I could go on but I think you get the picture.
My background was in inventory control in a manufacturing setting so I had been looking for that type of work for about six months.
I finally hit pay dirt – inventory control coordinator at a medical device company which would double my salary and provide benefits. Of course, I accepted. The next day when it was time for my call center shift I decided to spend some extra time with my two small children before going into work (two extra hours to be exact).
My husband came home and took over with the kids and I headed in to work. When I got there the little supervisor man, clearly unhappy with my tardiness, complained that he had to cover the magazine calls while I was absent and told me to go into his office and wait.
He came in after 5 minutes, stood in front of the closed door with arms crossed and feet spread, and demanded to know where I’d been. I smiled sweetly and said I had been playing with my kids as I pulled my headset out of my bag.
He started screaming about my irresponsibility to the company or some such nonsense and asked me how that made me feel. I looked him in the eye and said ‘I’m glad you called me in here because I really needed to tell you that I’ve accepted a job offer at another company so I will be leaving this call center’.
Ah, it was lovely to see his face and his arms drop in disbelief. After a few seconds, he said ‘Uh, okay. Effective?’ Me, still smiling sweetly, extending the hand holding my headset, ‘Immediately.’
While he complained about who was going to cover the magazine calls I walked out.
That was 18 years ago and it really was the best feeling to leave that jerk in a situation out of his control.”
28. Leave Your Trash Outside? I'll Make You Step All Over It
“My next-door neighbors were the typical frat-bro just-got-out-of-college and rely on our mommy’s and daddy’s support kind of guys. They also made terrible neighbors. Loud parties every night of the week with the front door open (my bedroom was right across from their door), always yelling outside as though they couldn’t speak in a normal voice, etc., and on top of that, they called everybody ‘dog’, all the time.
‘Hey dog, how’s it going, dog, that’s a sweet ride, dog, we slept with these married women, dog….’
I kept the peace with the guys and would constantly ask them to quiet down, and they would for that night, but the next night it was back to normal.
The final straw was that they would take their trash outside and leave it sitting next to the front door instead of taking it to the dumpster, which attracted ants by the millions. And of course, those ants would leave the garbage bag and then go into MY apartment, but not theirs!
So one morning when I left for work, I knew these guys were passed out from partying so I ripped the garbage bag open and dumped the nasty, festering trash all over their doorstep so that they couldn’t leave the apartment without walking through it.
Well, that night I get home, and lo and behold it’s totally clean and the guys say, ‘Dog, a raccoon got into the trash last night, it was EVERYWHERE dog! I guess we won’t do that anymore, dog.’
Mission accomplished.”
27. Ending Up With The Nice Guy Was My Sweetest Revenge
“My husband and I grew up in the same neighborhood/community. We went to the same schools (albeit with a couple of years difference) and kind of had the same mutual friends as our parents went to the same church and all that.
In our teens, things got a bit wild and I went the goody-two-shoes way and he went the rebel/oppressed way.
He wasn’t nice to his classmates and had problems with pretty much everyone in every school he ever went to but that’s a story for another day.
At 14, I had this huge crush on this cute guy from school that lasted for about 3 years. We ended up kissing twice but once he found out I had this big crush on him he became very mean to me, said some very hurtful things to me, dated my best friend and some other friends of mine.
Anyway around 17 yo, I finally got over it and about that time my now husband and I started seeing each other. He had gotten over his rebel ways and was always very sweet, sometimes he’d call me and play his guitar to me until I slept, always said I was pretty (despite me having horrible issues with my self-image), and was a pretty good friend.
One day, after we had been seeing each other for a long time (we got married when I was 19) I was on the bus coming back home when the old crush walked in and sat next to me. The first thing he asked me was if I was seeing anyone.
That was always the first thing he’d ask me whenever he saw me at random places.
I said yes. In fact, just got engaged.
To whom? He asked.
Kel. I said.
He then told me how much of a fool I was to marry such a stupid guy.
I probably was marrying him because I couldn’t get anyone better. He said the best thing I’d ever been able to catch was a cold. Lol.
Anyway. Turns out my husband had whooped his butt back in the day for some teenage beef. He wasn’t able to get over it and hated my husband ever since.
Me finding the love of my life was the best revenge I got against my ‘ex’. The fact that my now husband had kicked his butt back in the day was just the cherry on top.
We’re still together 12 years and 1/half kids later.”
26. Think You're So Tough? I'm Trained And Ready To Fight
“This guy wasn’t exactly my bully, we were both 16, new to college and he was throwing his weight around. He was a big guy from a fairly rough background and I was also a big guy but quiet and fairly gentle.
I had a couple of run-ins with him, pushing me around along with other people and generally being a bit of a pain. Then one day I was walking out of class at lunchtime and he had decided to show how tough he was by setting up a little wrestling ring on the grass by the classrooms and challenging every guy he saw to a wrestling match.
He tried to make out I was afraid of him and as I watched I saw that he was big, powerful, and utterly untrained and also, he did stick to the rules, he wasn’t punching or getting cheap shots in but he did win everything fairly easily.
I had been doing judo for years and was about the same size so I agreed to have a few bouts with him. He hit the ground 3 times in a row and was laughed at by everyone there. He left rather humiliated and never threw his weight around again.
The nice side of it is that a day or so later he approached me and said respect for doing that, nobody had done that to him before and we became mates but he never again tried to bully anyone. I think he was just insecure and wanted to find his place.
Once he became friends with me and my mates he had found his place and didn’t need to act like that anymore.”
25. Make Me Clean Up Your New Year's Mess? I'll Hide Confetti Everywhere
“About 10 or 11 years ago for New Year’s Eve, my parents had this huge party at our house. One of the party favors celebrating the new year was hundreds of confetti bottle poppers.
The clock hit midnight and they all were popped – CONFETTI EVERYWHERE! Happy New Year!
The next morning, I was given the responsibility of cleaning the entire house which meant picking up every piece of confetti. This kind of annoyed me – I had two other siblings that could have helped, but no. And of course, when I tried to raise that argument my mother flipped out in an instant.
Every. Piece. I collected it all up – the house was spotless. And all the little bits of confetti were kept in a gallon zip-lock bag that was stashed away in my room. Every week or so, I would put a small piece on the floor or the furniture where my mother would see it.
She would proceed to chew me out for missing this one piece and throw it away, so I got creative.
Piece of confetti on the ceiling fan to fall off when it was turned on. A string of confetti to drag behind her shoe. A few caught in the lint collector of the dryer.
And a few stuck in between her sheets. Maybe one stuck around the drain of the shower.
This continued for as long as we lived in the house… and after we moved. After the first year, she finally stopped blaming me for it, but confetti is no longer allowed on her property.”
24. Let Your Road Rage Out On Me? Enjoy Sitting Through These Red Lights
“I frequent the same oil stop for my car’s oil changes every few months when the time comes. After you’re done, you just pull out onto the main street, which can get fairly busy since it gets to all of the main highways in the area.
One beautiful sunny day, while I happened to be in a fairly good mood, I finish up my oil change and start to pull out to the main street, being very mindful of the oncoming traffic approaching on my left-hand side. I see a woman in a nice BMW about 50 feet away and she starts to speed up as she sees me pulling onto the main road.
Mind you, there is a traffic light right by where cars pull out from the oil stop. She was speeding up to the red light, which was pretty unreasonable, making it clear she just didn’t want me to go in front of her. I pull out anyway and am halfway onto the street, halfway in the driveway since there is a car in front of me stopped at the light.
This woman becomes FURIOUS!
She starts shouting through her window, calling me a jerk and making obscene hand gestures. Because I was in such a good mood, I took the chance to make it clear I was not going to let her antics affect me and started laughing in her face.
I mouthed, ‘Really?’ to her, as she continued to flip out in her car. Just then, the light changes green, and this is when I’m able to exact my revenge.
I pull out in front of her and sit at the green light as she continues to freak out behind me, blaring her horn and shouting more obscenities.
Then, right as the light starts to change from orange to red, I took off, leaving her at another red light.”
23. Gossip And Spread Lies? We'll Plant Some 'Evidence' For Your Wife To Find
“About 30 years ago, I worked for a steel fabrication company as a production floor leadman. There was a woman working as a welder, and her husband Mike and brother-in-law also worked there.
We were all friends at work but never really socialized much outside of work. Any way Daphne ended up being assigned to my crew, so we worked together a lot and we got along well as friends, but never anything more than that.
Well, there was one guy working at the other end of the building who liked to spread gossip and stir up lies.
So naturally, he spread stories about me and Daphne sneaking off to the compressor room, and elsewhere for ‘quickies.’ Mike heard about that, knew it was not true, and wanted to punch out the gossiper so I stopped him and said that I have an idea.
The gossiper was on his 4th wife, having some ‘self-induced’ bad luck with wives because he liked to stray. Wife #4 kept her thumb on him pretty well. She also did all the chores around the house, washed and waxed their car, and everything – at least according to her husband.
They also had a bad habit of ticking off neighbors. But it was clear to all who wore the pants in that family. And it was clear that they had WAY too much time on their hands.
So I asked my wife for a pair of undergarments, explaining to her what I was going to do.
But it creeped her out so we bought a new pair. Gossiper apparently liked chubby women so we bought a big pair of cheap undergarments. I opened a can of tuna and applied some juice for a nice fishy smell, added a dab of mayonnaise so it would get crusty, and clipped a few curly hairs from the dog.
The next day, I slipped out into the parking lot, and Gossiper’s car was unlocked. So I kept low in case anyone should look to the parking lot, and I jammed those undergarments under the front seat passenger side. Then I walked back to the shop.
I almost felt guilty fearing that it could end in a divorce.
Nothing happened for a week or so, so I guess Mrs. Gossiper didn’t clean the car weekly or that Mr. Gossiper found them and tossed them. Well after about a month, we noticed the Gossiper was eating his lunch with the Mrs every day.
She would drive in at morning coffee, he had to go outside and sit in the car with her. She was back for lunch and he sat with her. And for afternoon coffee. Every day for a very long time! And if he was a minute late she would scream him out.
Many people wondered what was up with that but he didn’t say.
Finally, after nearly a year of this – scout’s honor, every day for a year – someone asked Gossiper if he had gotten his Mrs a Valentine card. He said, ‘No. She took me to the store to get one, I went in without her, and I guess I took too long because she came in and dragged me out, cussing me out that I was trying to hook up with all the girls in there.
So I couldn’t get one. Last year, someone put a pair of undergarments under my seat, and now she won’t even let me eat lunch without her being there to make sure I don’t sleep with anyone. And I got no idea where those came from!’
I never expected it but that worked great! Gossiper never gossiped about anyone for quite a long time! I got high-5s from Daphne and Mike for that one. No one that knew of it thought that would work so well. Best revenge I ever ‘engineered.’
Time wounds all heels.”
22. Steal My Lab Partner? I'll Make You Fail Your English Paper
“It was my first day of high school, rough for anyone who isn’t the most outgoing or popular.
My school did block scheduling so the first day was mostly spent figuring out who you knew in each different class. So I walk into my science class and immediately spot the only person I know in there. I also know I’m the only person he knows.
When the teacher tells us we need to choose a lab partner for the rest of the semester I figure it’s a done deal. Nope. Some random chick sitting behind him already grabbed him. I ended up being the girl with no partner who the teacher had to pair up with the exchange student.
Lab sucked the rest of the year, he didn’t even speak English.
Later that day, I walk into my last class of the day: English. Once again, I find the only person I know and sit in front of her. We’re chatting when I hear from behind me a huff and in an exasperated tone: ‘Do you mind if I sit there?
She’s my friend.’ I turn around and lo and behold it’s that same chick! Lots of things went through my head: ‘Mine too.’ ‘First come first serve.’ ‘It didn’t matter who knew who when we chose lab partners.’ But instead, I said ‘sure’ and gave her the seat.
Later that week we got assigned our first paper. She asked me what the plural of moose is. I convinced her it’s meese. I made some valid arguments and she finally believed me. Well, it turns out she was writing a paper on moose and used the plural meese 28 times.
She got an F.
Happy ending: We’ve been great friends for years now and she’s actually going to be the maid of honor at my wedding.”
21. Never Mess With My Chicken Nuggets
“One summer, I lived at college and took some classes while working on campus. They housed all the kids who were staying for summer classes in the same cluster of buildings to do construction and whatnot throughout the rest of the campus.
In my building, we had one, fairly large, kitchen.
In it was a big ol’ fridge where everyone kept their food. I kept a rather large bag of chicken nuggets in there that I would eat and cook up occasionally cause chicken nuggets are delicious.
I had a few handfuls of chicken nuggets, but still had about 5/6ths of the bag still full.
The next day, I go down to the kitchen, craving some chicken nuggets, and they’re gone…ALL gone. Huh? What kind of person steals another man’s chicken nuggets? I would not take this lightly. I’ve heard of other people’s food getting stolen as well. SO I bought a 20z of soda, a nice thing of laxatives, and crushed the laxatives up into a fine powder and put it in the soda…put the soda in the fridge, and walked away.
The next day the soda was gone and somewhere someone was pooping their brains out.”
20. Won't Let Me Sleep? I'll Cut Your Ethernet Cord
“I have a roommate who naps during random times during his break from class in college. He’s loud and annoying in my opinion. Whistling or making grunting noises while watching YouTube videos (for some reason he forgets to breathe when he’s concentrated on doing something).
He wakes me up during the mornings at 6 am watching videos that make him laugh obnoxiously loud or by talking to his friend about the election. (I’ve heard this countless times when he first moved in).
After watching the Youtube videos until 2 am, while I’m in bed with a fever and can’t sleep because his desk is oriented so that his laptop shines right on my bed (he also turns on his lamp if I turn the lights off).
I decided to cut his ethernet cord. Not the one that he uses to connect from his laptop to the ethernet port on the wall, the ethernet cord inside the wall. Our dorm has this box that allows easy access to the cord so it made me fairly easy to access the cord.
After he finally managed to fix the cord, by having an IT come to our dorm and fixing the problem, I took a pair of scissors and gauged out his ethernet port on his computer.”
19. Entitled Prof Steals My Parking Spot So I Cover His Car Handles With Vaseline
“I was running late for class and found a perfect parking spot opening up on campus right next to my building (these spots are rare and only come along once or twice during your college career.) I patiently waited for the person pulling out to clear the spot when a professor flew by me and whipped into the spot before I could block him.
He then got out of his car with one of those haughty ‘screw you’ looks that only an entitled professor can give.
So I found another parking spot and went to class. After class, I stopped by the campus store and bought a tube of Vaseline and on the way back to my car, I proceeded to coat the underside of all of his door handles with the viscous petroleum goo.
They were the kind of handles that you pull up, so he would never see it before he got it all over his hands.
I wanted to wait around, but decided to leave it cold.”
18. They Fell Into Their Own Saucy Trap
“I make pizza for my family about every 2 weeks, 1 pizza for me, one for my brother, one for my parents. I enjoy my pizza with a decent amount of sauce, but because I always decorate my pizza first, I never add as much as I want to so that I know there’s enough for everyone.
Well the last few times, I’ve noticed that we have been leaving a whole half jar afterward (when it’s too late to add any more to my pizza) and is inevitably thrown out after a week of no one eating it. So today I decided that I would sauce my pizza to my heart’s content!
My brother added his normal sauce intake, then I added mine with a few more spoonfuls than normal. Cue yelling and screaming from all three family members (yes, yelling and screaming over sauce) about how selfish I was for not leaving enough for my parents.
I note to them that there is still half a jar and we never use it all anyway, but they refused to listen.
One thing to note, my family is infamously proud and stubborn, and I do not say this in admiration. Living among them, you learn how to manipulate these ‘quirks’ to your advantage.
I did not appreciate being aggressively yelled at, especially because of sauce of all things. I knew all I needed to do to get back at them was say one sentence. One sentence and it would all be over.
‘I don’t get why you’re upset, there is no way you are going to use up the rest of that sauce.’ My mother looks me dead in the eye as she dumps the whole jar on the pizza.
She has fallen for the trap. I smirk. By the time they’re done spreading the sauce it’s just one thick sea of red, taunting them in their hubris. I see the horror on their faces. They know it’s way too much but they’ll never admit it.
When it comes out of the oven, the sauce has overflowed all over the pan, lord only knows what the oven looks like. Their first slice with the pizza cutter sends sauce flying in all directions. You can hear the great pizza god laugh. And the piece de resistance?
My father picking up the first slice and the cheese sliding right off in cartoonish fashion. They stare in silent anger trapped in the saucy prison of their own making.
As I type this my parents are eating their scalding tomato sauce soup that contains some soggy dough and cheese while I sit victoriously eating my delicious and perfectly sauced pizza!”
Another User Comments:
“Haha, this is just so good, getting to see them eat it with displeasure. Reminds me of my dad, notorious for not screwing the lid on the ketchup bottle but just lay it on top. The bottle was filled up to a third when he did it again, knowing he would want more I just picked up the bottle gently and put it in front of him.
And yes, he wants more, grabs the bottle, shakes it aggressively, and there he sat covered in ketchup dripping from his glasses, the wall, and the table. He didn’t learn from it though.” Prestigious_Issue330
17. Refuse To Discipline Your Kids? I'll Ruin Your Flower Garden
“For a couple of years, I lived in Toronto, Canada. I was four when we left and this happened the day we were moving.
For the two years that we lived there, the much older kids next door liked to terrorize my younger brother and me. I no longer remember what they did to us, but when we reacted they would jump into the family car that was always sitting in the driveway and lock the door.
Their mother never did anything about it, or even once came outside to see what was happening.
However, one thing the Mom of bullies did care about, big time, was her flower garden. It was in the front of their house, full of flowers, and she spent hours tending it.
To stay out of the way, my brother and I were outside playing. Neighbor bullies started doing whatever they always did to us, their Mom was oblivious to what was happening and our parents were busy with moving activities. We were on our own. We reacted as much as a three and four-year-old can and once again, they jumped into their car and locked the door.
So four-year-old Ginger walked past them to the sacred, well-tended flower garden. I then proceeded to yank up flowers by the handful using both of my angry little four-year-old hands. It’s amazing how many flowers can be pulled in just a little bit of time!
Then I ran home and pressed myself against the wall by the open front door because I was pretty sure I knew what was coming.
I didn’t have to wait very long. Sure enough, in the blink of an eye, the bullies’ Mom comes dashing over to our house, storms in the front door, stops for a brief moment to glare down at me with a look that could kill, stalks on into the house, and confronts my parents who, at this point, are surrounded by moving boxes.
I don’t remember what she said, and at four, she probably used quite a few choice words I wouldn’t have understood anyway. But I do remember her gesturing wildly while my parents just stood there. Knowing my father, I am pretty sure he slid his tongue over to the side of his mouth and bit on it to keep from laughing.
I don’t remember much after that except that I didn’t get in trouble with my understanding parents.
When I think back on the incident, I find it interesting that even as a four-year-old, I knew exactly what button to push.
And I still treasure the memory of how powerful I felt as I pulled up those flowers!”
16. Steal My Man Just For Some Diamond Earrings? I Hope You Also Like Cow Poop
“I was a freshman in college. Shortly after Christmas break, I met a nice guy, also a freshman, and we started going together. A girl in my dorm had recently broken up with him, but he seemed to be over it.
He’d bought her a pair of diamond earrings for Christmas, but she didn’t get them as she’d broken up with him before he had a chance to give them to her. Naturally, I was hoping I’d get them for Valentine’s Day. Shortly before the day, the ex finds out about the earrings and sweet talks him into taking her back.
He spent a small fortune on their Valentine’s Day night out as well as gave her the diamond earrings. The very next day, she broke up with him, and Dan came back to me, his tail between his legs, and being young and ‘stupid’, I took him back.
Fast forward to summer vacation. It’s July, and the ex’s birthday is a week away. So I grabbed my best friend and a shoebox well-lined with plastic wrap, and we headed out to the boonies in search of a pasture with cows in it. We wandered around until we had a box full of, you guessed it, fresh cow dung!
I sealed the bag, sealed the box, wrapped it in birthday paper, wrapped it in brown grocery bag paper, and mailed it to the ex at her home.
To this day, she thinks Dan sent her the box! So I really got a bit of revenge on him as well.
That was 42 years ago, and I don’t think of it very often, but when I do, my mouth lifts in a huge grin.
P.S. I kicked that partner to the curb shortly after sending the box. Older and not so stupid by then!”
15. Want Your Microwave Back? I Hope You Like The Color Pink
“My first job was in a small car wash owned by a dad and two sons.
They were very strict about the way you clean the cars, to the point of telling you which side to clean first and how quickly you should move on each side. They also wouldn’t let us listen to the radio since it would be ‘illegal to broadcast radio’ in a public parking garage.
Every penny we found was supposed to be collected for the boss’s ‘refreshment fund’. They screwed me over in the contract saying that a ‘car wash’ doesn’t have a collective agreement over wages, benefits, etc. (I later found out there is. I, being a naive first-timer, bought all that nonsense).
They also were pretty narrow-minded and racist from time to time.
They provided me with a couch and microwave for my apartment, which we picked up from a dumpster and used the boss’s car to transport it to my flat. After I got a letter from a university telling me that I’ve been accepted, I told my boss that I was gonna quit my job.
Boss went pale since I was the only worker during that time besides him (the other guy started his parental leave a week before) and asked if I could work at least till the end of the week. I gently said that no, I must leave soon, and I threw my shoes in their office trashcan on my way out.
The other jerk said that I should at least bring the microwave back (even though they had screwed me over in the contract and mover benefits from the employment agency), and I said that I will think about that.
The next weekend I picked up a can of pink spray paint, some random stickers from record shops, and painted the microwave full of pink hearts, and filled it with stickers.
Then I packed the microwave in a thick layer of tinfoil and dropped it off by their office that night.
A couple of months go by and I decide to call them since they never sent me proof of employment from my time over there.
Since it’s required by law I thought it would an easy thing to ask. The phone call went somewhat like this:
ME: ‘Hi there, it’s X calling. I was just wondering if you could send me a proof of employment, or have you already sent it?’
JERK: ‘Well hello, I will only say this once; The way you quit your job makes me wish you were here so I could punch you in your face.’
ME: ‘Okay, well let me know if you find that proof of employment somewhere.’
That letter finally came (after 3 1/2 months) and that’s the last I’ve heard about ’em. Good memories.”
14. The Church Pew Saga
“My friend, Bob, lived in a neighborhood where my wife and I had made an offer on a house.
We had a closing date and I talked with Bob about the negotiations and closing and he was pleased to have us as neighbors. Unbeknownst to me, Bob (a licensed landscape architect) decided to decorate our new yard. So he dragged a church pew from where the previous owners had abandoned it in the backyard and brought it to the front and decorated it with bent-up plastic flowers from a dumpster and a bunch of cans.
He also made a large poster with caricatures of my wife and me. It was intended to be, and was, godawful. My wife and I were to find it after closing.
Closing was delayed almost a week in which it rained, making the welcoming display far worse.
A few weeks after we moved in Bob made me an offer for the church pew. I apologized and told him I gave it away. Later I called a different friend, Rosalie, and asked her if she wanted to sell the church pew I had given her.
She said yes and I told her what Bob offered me and she could keep it all if she would help me out. When I told her the circumstances she eagerly agreed.
Then I called Bob and told him Rosalie was willing to sell it for what he had offered me.
Bob was delighted! I gave him Rosalie’s phone number and he left for lunch and called her from his home. Rosalie has a great female phone voice, a rich, expressive contralto, and a joyful laugh. Rosalie happily gave him the address of the local police station.
Bob did not return to work.
The next day Bob comes in and is laughing, nearly hysterical. Said it took numerous calls to Rosalie in his search for the address to finally realize he was being played.
It was a small town in rural Mississippi.
Word got around. Bob would walk by people in the grocery store whom he didn’t know and would hear, ‘church pew’, followed by laughter.
Almost a year went by and a third friend of ours, who had ribbed Bob mercilessly, closed on a house in our neighborhood.
One evening after a couple of drinks we decided her new home would greatly benefit from a church pew. So we went to Rosalie and asked her to sell it to us and told her why we wanted it. She agreed but made a profit off us.
So we loaded into my pickup about midnight and sneaked it into our friend’s yard.
The next day, nothing. A week went by. Nothing. Bob and I couldn’t stand it so we went by her flower shop to get an explanation. She listened to us and burst out laughing!
Could not speak! Had to sit down!
Bob and I had delivered the church pew to the WRONG HOUSE!”
13. Won't Make It Easy For Your Ex To Get Her Things? I'll Make Life More Difficult For You
“Last year one of my friends went through a long and drawn-out breakup and I was caught mediating for a long time.
It started with him two-timing and then going into an open relationship which just hurt everyone involved. Eventually, her partner was being too jealous and too angry for them to continue being open but he refused to stop talking to other girls. He wanted to have his own group of women and she was supposed to sit there and let it happen while remaining faithful.
So yeah, it didn’t work. When they finally decided maybe they needed time apart, she came to stay with me. A few days go by and she decided she needs clothes from their shared house. He changed the locks. When he answered the door he wouldn’t let her get any of her things, saying that he was washing her clothes.
She wasn’t allowed in to see her dogs, grab a toothbrush, a sock, nothing. He also changed the locks and had a camera installed that his parents would watch while he was at work. My friend started crying and freaking out because she was just trying to get clothes, and he wouldn’t let her.
I pounded on the door and he said I was scaring him, so I threw his plastic porch table about 10 feet away from us. It landed in the grass perfectly fine but he threatened to call the police. My friend wouldn’t let me do it at first, and we left.
I made some calls and told her partner if it’s that difficult, then put her stuff on the lawn, so he did. We pulled up with my car and my brother’s truck and offered $30 to his friends if they helped out. Her partner called his uncle to play security who was just glaring at us.
Idk why he seemed so scared, I’m 5′6 and I’ve never thrown the first punch. Anyway, what he didn’t have on the porch were her tv, bed, dresser, blankets, etc, so I marched past his bad security guard and started throwing things into boxes. I took the opportunity to also break a few things, like the flimsy curtain rods they had I bent so they wouldn’t hang.
I grabbed a pocket knife he had and carved some crude words on his tv stand and shoe rack. When I got to the bathroom and saw his hygiene products, I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed it and stuck it in the toilet, which was in no way clean.
I even scrubbed some trash from around the bowl with it. Then I put it back and took every phone cord I saw in the house. I think my friend ended up with about 6 of them.
Take that, jerk.”
12. Try To Take Charge Of Everything? I'll Start Dressing Like A Boss
“We got a new manager, recently promoted to managerial grade, but by the common agreement at least 2 grades higher than they should be.
We had a rather lackluster initial team meeting and after it, I asked them when they wanted to start learning what we did. In response, they replied, ‘I don’t need to know what you do or how you do it. I’m here to manage you.’
Now if they had kept out of the day-to-day running of the office it would have been fine BUT they insisted on getting involved with things they didn’t understand and continued to refuse to try and learn. Not only did this make them look like an idiot but if visitors didn’t know us it made us look like idiots too.
So I struck a blow for our sanity and while this might seem petty it was remarkably effective. Although we could wear uniforms, in practice it was better to wear casual clothing. However our manager, desperate to show who was in charge wore a uniform which showed their badges of rank.
They sat in a small alcove and couldn’t be seen by anyone coming into the office. My desk was in the eyesight of anyone coming into the office. So I started wearing a suit. Now if a visitor goes into an office and the people working there are wearing casual clothes or uniform but one person is in a suit, or business clothes, the natural assumption is the suit is in charge.
And so it went, and so much so that the fact visitors came to me started getting under our manager’s skin. They eventually asked my colleagues why no one came to him. As they were unaware of my actions they could only think that as he was sitting out of sight people didn’t know he was there.
When they mentioned it to me I asked, ‘why do you think I started wearing suits. Everyone knows the suit is in charge.’ Much laughter ensued, and all my colleagues now knew about my little blow for freedom. The manager never got the joke.”
11. Seems Like You're Trying To Sell Your Bad Attitude More Than This Property
“I live in a country where the real estate agents do no work. They post an apartment on one of the real estate sites and you need to chase them to see the listing at the precise time that they choose.
I find an apartment that seems ok, message the real estate agent on WhatsApp to which he responds ‘call me.’ It’s a little bit short but no big deal. I give him a call and again he is very brusk on the phone telling me that I must be on time as he’s a very busy man.
Ok, again no big deal.
The appointment is for 6 pm and I got stuck in a meeting but still expected to be on time, but just in case, I texted him saying I would be 5 minutes late. I show up at exactly 6:01 pm and see that he isn’t even waiting for me, he has his real estate office on the ground floor of the building complex that I am seeing the apartment.
He is in his office doing work and I walk into his office, say hi and he immediately starts complaining that I am late. I apologize and say I am here but a friend (a local who is fluent in the local language) is going to be here very shortly to see the apartment with me and should be here very soon.
I call my friend and he says he is 2 minutes away to which the real estate agent tells me that he has another appointment and that he will have to make us wait until after the next appointment. I respond that my friend will be here very shortly and to please wait a little bit until he arrives.
He responds that he makes sure all of his appointments are very organized and that he does not like having multiple people at the same time. I tell him, I do not mind having someone else with me and can ask the next group if they do not mind seeing the apartment with me.
He ignores this comment and keeps working.
My friend then shows up at exactly 6:05 pm. I know because I check my clock. My friend walks in, says hi, and the agent then takes his time getting up and locking his office so we can go upstairs to see the apartment.
We walk to the 3rd floor, knock on the door and the tenant lets us in. I start walking around and start chatting with the current tenant and his partner. The real estate agent says don’t talk to the tenant, look at the apartment.
I continue walking around, see most of the apartment and then continue chatting with the tenant and begin asking a few questions about the apartment.
I ask how is the noise in the apartment. The real estate agent immediately interrupts and says not to talk to the tenant. I ask the real estate agent why and he ignores me. The tenant begins responding to the question and ignores the real estate agent telling me the apartment has practically no noise.
Great!
My next question is how is the landlord. The real estate agent interrupts saying very loudly, ‘What did you say?’ I repeat my question to the real estate agent and he says to not ask about the landlord but to continue looking at the apartment.
The tenant begins responding that the landlord is fine but the real estate agent again interrupts for us not to talk.
I thought, ok, maybe the agent is stressed that the next appointment is coming and say ‘ok, can I have the tenant’s number so we can talk afterward.’ I appreciate that this is taboo to real estate agents but speaking to the tenant is a must in my book and if we can’t speak now then why not speak later.
I had no intention of going around the real estate agent.
The real estate loses it. He starts aggressively telling me to get out. Cue Malicious Compliance.
You want me out, fine.
I go outside and wait on the front steps of the building and notice it is now 6:41 which is likely close to when he scheduled his next appointment.
I see a couple approach the building and approach them asking if they are there to see the apartment. They say yes, and I proceed to tell them to be careful of the apartment and the landlord as something is very wrong with it if the real estate agent does not want me talking to the current tenant.
The real estate agent starts yelling at me and threatening to call the cops. I ignore him until I complete the story to the new couple to which they thank me and go inside with the real estate agent.
We’re not done yet.
Still waiting outside, my friend sees someone new entering the building.
He approaches the new guy, quickly telling him what just happened. The guy responds that ya, the real estate agent is awful and he would be happy to give the number of his landlord.
I call his landlord to explain the situation to which he responds he is sorry this occurred and would be happy to give me the number of the actual apartment owner.
I call up the actual owner tell the owner the story. The owner apologizes that it happened, said that she would talk to the real estate agent and see what can be done and that his behavior was not ok.”
10. Park Where You're Not Supposed To? I'll Egg Your Car
“A friend of mine lived in Nice, South of France for a couple of years.
He lived right in the city center and he described the double-parking on the city streets as absolutely atrocious, with traffic wardens doing next to nothing about it. The worst part was the very early risers honking their horn for ages to wake up the illegal parkers and get them down to move their car so that the guy on the inside could get out.
He came up with a strategy to encourage the worst culprits to park elsewhere and according to him, it worked perfectly. It would seem that well-aimed eggs thrown from apartment windows above on to the cars below does quite a bit of damage to the car’s paintwork under the hot sun of the French Riviera.”
9. Block Me From Leaving My Own Apartment? I'll Go Ham On Your Car
“I worked nights. My apartment’s back door opened on a parking lot on a hill. People from the bar down the street use it, no problem, there’s lots of room.
One night I’m ready to go to work, but I can’t open my door because someone parked so close that I couldn’t open the door more than an inch.
I lost it. I slammed the door into the car a couple of times, but that did no good. I didn’t have time to go out downstairs to the front door and go look through all the bars to find the loser, but I did have time to grab a hammer, go downstairs out the front door, climb up the hill to my back door, kick the life out of the car and smash the headlights before I went to work.
I never saw that car again. Not sorry.”
8. Fire Me To Boost Your Ego? I'll Let HR Know About The Toxic Work Environment You've Created
“I took a position with a new employer, leading a project that had been floundering. This company had just under 800 clinics nationwide, and the project was to roll out a hosted software supply chain solution to each of the clinics.
This solution would bring about many benefits for the company and the clinics, but after one year of the rollout, only about 10% of the clinics were using it. Out the door went the rather ineffective first guy tasked with the rollout, and in I came.
Now, I’ve been an industrial engineer in previous work lives, so knew all about the conflicts that can arise when work processes and procedures are changed. And this was a big change for the clinics; one that was accepted well by some, and not at all by others.
Nine months later, on the date that I was given to have all clinics compliant, I had all but 2 on-boarded, (and the CEO made sure those 2 were in line within days). I remember being asked by the president of the company, about a month before my target date, what my fallback plan was.
I replied that I didn’t need a fallback plan because my team of three others and I were not going to fail, and we didn’t.
The accolades piled in after the completion of the project, from practitioners to the CEO. A common theme of the attaboys was that this was the first project in the company’s history that had been completed on time.
Considering the company was founded during the Civil War, that is a long time.
I was let go shortly after the completion of the project, with the reason being that at times I was ‘just too direct.’ So the guy that rolled the software to 80 clinics in a year was fired for not getting more clinics in line during his time, and the guy that rolled it out to the remaining 720 clinics in 9 months was fired for doing exactly what he was hired to do.
The real reason behind me being let go was a very insecure manager, who couldn’t handle the accolades I was given, considering his involvement in the project was basically zero. The guy worked remote, flew in from time to time to strut around the office, and actually just got in the way.
He couldn’t stand the fact that no one looked at him as driving the project.
I hesitate to call what I did ‘revenge’, but rather clearing the air on my work while I was with the company, as well as letting that company know about some potential issues my former manager could be creating.
I sent an email to the VP of HR, (among others), in which I defended my MO while employed; it was never going to be a popularity contest. In the email, I included a nice cross-section of quoted accolades, including who had sent them and when.
Oddly enough, these accolades included some from the manager himself. And I also mentioned three verifiable instances of my former manager’s behavior that could potentially cause issues for the company. The first was him calling a member of my team an unflattering term, based on her hairstyle, on her very first day with the company.
The second was loudly implying, in an open office, that the manager of a team working closely with us was hiring only young attractive males; he called it ‘cougaring up the hiring practice’. And the last potential issue was this individual turning off some of the financial controls built into the hosted software we were rolling out.
Considering the company had failed a couple of SEC audits and was working to dig itself out of that mess, having this guy do what he did was kind of a big thing… I only learned about this action after being called into a large meeting with the controller, who started off the meeting by lighting me up.
After I told her that I was leaving the room, unless she changed her tone, followed by the fact that I had no idea what she was talking about, my manager literally raised his hand, like he was in grade school, and pled guilty.
My communications to the VP were not altogether altruistic; I was hoping to negotiate a better severance, for doing the right thing throughout, which included doing what I was brought in to do, and at the same time being a good corporate citizen.
Of course, my request for better severance was declined, because of corporate life… I did learn later that the three incidents I mentioned were all investigated, and of course, found to be true. That was pretty much the end of my former manager’s career with that company, although he was allowed to skulk around for a while, with all of his direct reports removed, before he moved on.”
7. I Can Take Out My Aggression On Our Ice Cream Stock? If You Say So
“20 odd years ago, before the turn of the century, as a student I spent a summer working at a Friendly’s. Think of it as a Denny’s with a large ice cream bar. 2 tone pink uniforms. Food poisoning on the regular. The boss was a prototype Bill Lumbergh with a dorky mustache named Dwayne.
Always trying to get invited to parties with kids half his age.
As a waiter there I made ok coin, about $100 daily. For about 150 tables over a ten-hour shift. For that, I would have food thrown at me. Deal with creepy old men. I’m a six-foot four-inch-tall guy and I would have someone want to fight me daily.
As a cross-section of the average public, it was a great argument to exterminate humanity. I would have half a dozen over-the-top horror stories nightly. My roommates grew numb to them. As did I.
After 3 months, my growing hatred was obvious enough for even Dwayne to notice.
He brought me into the large walk-in freezer for a talk. He told me anytime the abuse I was putting up with got too bad, I could go in there and punch some of the hundred or so frozen 5-gallon ice cream containers. See, he figured I would break a knuckle or bruise a bone, he would get a good laugh and that would be it.
What he didn’t know was as a kid, I did martial arts that had me smashing cinder blocks. So a few times a day, for a few weeks, I would ravage the life out these thick paper drums wrapped around crystallized sugar and milk, then I would turn them around and put them back behind others on the shelf.
I even let him spy on me pawing weakly at the one’s upfront. His assistant managers said this was a bad idea. Heard him giggling.
So eventually I got fed up. I believe it was after being told I would cover the bill, again, for some loser who had a big public hissy fit because they wanted a soda we didn’t carry.
I walked out, got a job at Domino’s, and came back half an hour later to quit. Dwayne made a big show of saying I couldn’t quit because I was fired. I had a bit of fun with that back and forth, but the real enjoyment came days later.
When Dwayne realized I had destroyed nearly the entire stock of ice cream. At his urging. I heard from a friend who still worked there that the next day they had to turn down thousands of requests and had signs up for weeks that there was no ice cream available.
That was also the time frame for a mass exodus of all the smart and competent employees. After about a month I didn’t know anyone left who worked there.”
6. Try To Intimidate Me Over Some Change? I'll Empty Your Coin Machine
“I decided one day that I needed to wash my truck so I drove into town to the self serve car wash.
Now, there were two places and they were located almost directly across the road from each other. Both were of the type that you put coins in and use a brush or pressure washer, not the drive-thru type.
One place I preferred to go to because I was acquainted with the owner and it used freshwater.
I had heard that the other guy across the road recycled and filtered his water so I didn’t like the idea of using muddy water to wash my vehicle. I have no idea if it was true.
Anyway, there was no change machine at the one I liked so I first drove into the other one, got a handful of change, and drove across the road to the preferred place and into a bay.
As I was selecting my wash options and getting ready to put my coins in, a van drives across the entrance of my bay and ‘blocks’ me in. Like I would try to run away in fear when he comes over, lol. The guy gets out and starts giving me problems for using his change machine but not his wash bay.
I guess he was the owner. His tirade lasted about 30 seconds. I also notice he keeps glancing at his wife in the passenger seat. Clearly, he’s putting on a show for her. I didn’t say one word. After he was done, he stormed back to the van and spun it around, and peeled out of the parking lot.
It took a few minutes while I was washing my truck to come up with something I could do to him that wouldn’t be illegal. I decided that that night and for a few nights after I would empty his change machine. So late that night I drove back, got a bunch of out of the ATM, and proceeded to empty his machine.
That way he would have to refill it, assume he was making coin and keep him from making since people would not be able to use his facilities because no change was available.
I coined the term ‘Petty Vengeance’ when I told my friends about it.
They thought it was awesome and encouraged me to continue. I did it two more nights and then once more a few nights later. The bank had one of those automated coin counters so it was no big deal to change the massive pile of coins back into bills.
I can only hope he grumbled every time he had to refill that machine and that he was super angry to find much less than expected in the machines in his bays.”
5. Ruin My Self-Esteem? Say Goodbye To Your Political Career
“Back in 2006, I had a temporary admin job in the public sector, through an agency. As an older worker and following an illness, I was having difficulty finding any employment at all, in a jobs market saturated with young people.
Things went fine for probably a couple of months when a glamorous younger new manager arrived on the scene.
She took an instant dislike to me and started to bully me. I tried to ignore it because I was struggling financially and needed to earn a living, but she made my life awful. Because she couldn’t criticize my work, she started to attack me personally.
I don’t even want to repeat some of the things she said, but they were totally calculated and very personal. What she said behind my back I hate to imagine, but it got to the stage where nobody in the department of about a dozen people would even speak to me, for example when I tried to join in a conversation, one of the men said, ‘I was talking to (so and so) not to you.’
I should have complained to the agency but I didn’t, and eventually, she got me. She accused me of saying something to her that I didn’t say, and I was forced to ‘consider my position.’ To their credit, the agency did find me something else, but my self-confidence and self-esteem were in shreds.
I felt that I must be the most wretched creature on earth. Less than two months later I had a serious nervous breakdown that put me off work for at least 6 months. In hindsight, I think it was age discrimination. Possibly she felt threatened by my competence and would rather have had a biddable 18-year-old working for her.
As a middle-aged woman, I didn’t have the right image to feed her massive ego.
Imagine my horror then when a few years later she turns up as a Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for a party that would claim to represent equality for all. Some are more equal than others evidently.
However, she came in for a lot of criticism in the local press for not pulling her weight in the campaign. I was only too delighted to see her fall flat on her botox face, and needless to say, she was not elected.
It doesn’t end there though.
A couple of years ago through a social organization I was involved in, I got talking to someone high up in her party (who although I got to know her reasonably well must remain anonymous) and told her the story. She was sympathetic, said she could believe it of this person, and asked me, why didn’t I say anything at the time?
Would I have been believed, would they have listened to me? I replied.
I’m very glad though that however belatedly I got to call out this monstrous bully and hypocrite. She may never know that this nobody, this person she tried to crush underfoot like an insect, came back to bite her.
As a result, she can, I think, forget any prospect of a political career.”
4. Try To Turn My Partner Against Me? I'll Call You Out In The Middle Of Class
“There was this girl, quite good looking and that’s all there was to her. She used to get lots of attention from guys and I guess due to that she decided to start behaving like a jerk.
Anyway, it didn’t bother me much, I hardly talked to her anyway. Things changed when she became roommates with my partner. Though I knew about her personality I didn’t stop my partner from befriending her.
Days passed, everything was going normally. One day my partner came crying to me and said she never imagined I would say such bad things about her.
I was amused. I had no idea what she was talking about. After some hue and cry, she told me that her new roommate said I talk bad about her behind her back and make fun of her in front of my friends.
I could not believe the nonsense I was listening to.
I knew this girl was not the kind of person you would probably be friends with, but now she had crossed all the limits. She was literally trying to malign my image in front of the person I really cared about.
I had taken enough nonsense from this girl.
I needed to do something real soon.
The next day I was really furious, I went to her class where the professor was in the middle of teaching. She was sitting in the middle.
I walked right up to her and said: What do you think of yourself?
Just because you are getting some attention from a few losers, you think you are some model or what? First of all, you are nothing outside this college, in fact, you would be considered below average. You should also try to act like a decent person.
Stop spreading lies and you better not talk about me ever again or next time things won’t go smoothly for you.
She almost had teary eyes. But someone had to teach her a lesson. After that time she never complained about anyone again.
I could sense how proud my friends felt at that moment as their eyes were glowing with happiness because she was talking smack about everyone and no one had the guts to call her bluff out.
Few clapped.
Karma sucks. But sometimes you can’t wait for karma to do its bit and have to take steps yourself.”
3. Threaten My Precious Dog? You'll Get A Stinky Surprise In Your Mailbox
“We had a foolish lady in our neighborhood who walked a large adult German Shepard.
One time she passed by our house and my sister’s little York got out and started to run around the Shepard and bark at him.
Now to compare size, the Yorkie was maybe 2 feet off the ground and weighed about 15 pounds, less than a year old.
The GS was adult, stood about 4-5 feet, and weighed easily 40+.
So when we finally reeled her in and apologized, the lady claimed she felt her life was ‘threatened’ and she was gonna call Animal Control to put the dog down if it happened again.
Now, if you don’t know me, know this, do NOT mess with my dogs, I will go Liam Neeson ala Taken on your butt.
So the next day when I was walking both mine and my sister’s dog, I passed this lady’s house. I had two, very large, bags of doggie doo and threw them in her mailbox and shut it.
I knew she wouldn’t get home from work till later so that poop sat in her metal mailbox festering in the Florida summer heat (95°F and up) for about 10 hours. I didn’t get to see her reaction, but she never bothered us again.”
2. Pee On My Van? I'll Take A Nasty Dump On Yours
“I used to live in a caravan and for several weeks a trio of annoying, preppy teens would park up next to my van.
They would drink and smoke into the small hours (which I didn’t particularly mind, though they could have been polite and shared!)
The final straw was catching one of them urinating against the side of my van, beneath the open window by my head.
My revenge was to spend the next day eating about 5 kilos of chili and waiting until they had finished their usual late-night drinking session and were all passed out.
I then climbed onto their bonnet, dropped my pants, and unleashed a torrent of the stickies, runniest, most disgusting poop all over their windscreen.
Unfortunately, I had to work the next morning so I couldn’t witness them waking up to the devastation upon their car but needless to say, they were gone by the time I got home.”
1. Ban My Friend From Your Pool? We'll Feed Your Pool Dinner
“In the Summer of 1976, I was thirteen years old as were my two best friends. One of my friends lived next door to a very very handsome and arrogant sixteen-year-old boy.
He had a built-in pool in his backyard. There was a fence that separated his backyard and my friend’s patio.
My friend’s dad restored old vehicles. He’d had a few thefts so he added a big motion sensor light on the patio. Cute neighbor boy’s dad didn’t like that.
He claimed that it brought bugs to his pool area, even though the light only came on if someone was on the patio.
We used to swim in his pool along with his two good-looking friends. My still best friend remembers me getting a lot of attention from all the boys.
She claims that they’d put me on their shoulders and just generally hang around me. She remembers that the pool owner boy teased her about her stretch marks and the other two boys ignored her. I don’t remember it being that way but she swears it was because I ALWAYS got the attention of boys and she didn’t.
I doubt this claim.
Anyway, one day after school we were under the patio at my best friend’s house and she was telling us about an argument that her dad had with the neighbor man about the darn light sensor. She said that cute boy called her fat and said that she couldn’t swim at his house anymore.
Now…. How we got the courage to do this I’ll never know. We were good girls who always followed the rules. But we just were so angry that we went into the kitchen and grabbed eggs, Vienna sausages, and pasta and tossed it into his backyard and pool.
We threw a lot of it back there. No one was home so we took our time to try to aim for the best spots for our food to land.
After we did that I was immediately scared and regretful. No one came knocking on my door so I relaxed but still felt guilt.
A few days after our acts of vandalism the boy stuck his head over the fence and asked us if we’d seen anybody messing around his yard. We, of course, lied and said that we hadn’t. He told us about finding eggs and Vienna sausages and pasta all over the yard and in the pool.
He got in trouble with his parents and had to clean it up. We then justified our vandalism as retribution for his meanness to our friend. He never knew that we were the culprits.”
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