Neighbors. Most of us have them, some of us even like them. But all too often, neighbors can be … well … jerks. From the annoying to the dangerous, to the downright illegal, we’ve got a bunch of stories that will probably make you feel lucky to have your current neighbors!
One of the craziest stories below comes from a guy whose Dad was poisoned with weed killer. We’re still not entirely sure if the neighbors meant to kill him, or his tree. Take a read and let us know what you think in the comments!
Judging by these stories, mean neighbors seem to be triggered by pets, kids, and lawns above all else. Although there is that one guy who freaked out over a tomato plant… Have you ever had a neighbor act like a jerk? Have a read through and let us know below!
27. Weird Neighbor Tried To Knock Down This Guy’s Dividing Wall
Pixabay“Ah, Jerry. When I moved in, he seemed eccentric, but harmless. Apparently my landlord had a conversation with him and told him to leave me alone. This upset Jerry greatly. He cornered me one day while I was unlocking my door and asked me to come sit with him in his apartment. I don’t think the place had ever been cleaned and he had Hoarder mentalities. He drank a bottle of wine in about 30 minutes, commenting on all the sad things in his life. Luckily he passed out, so I could leave.
A couple of weeks later, he got into a 3 am fight with his boyfriend, which resulted in his boyfriend trying to get into my apartment for safety, and eventually breaking into an empty unit down the hall. Cops were called and Jerry was taken to jail.
Jerry would flush things you’re not supposed to flush down the toilet and would back up sewage into mine and my neighbor’s bathtubs and bathroom sinks. Eventually, he clogged his toilet so badly that he just ripped it from the wall and left it there.
The cops came twice to my door to ask if I had seen Jerry lately and asked to search my apartment to make sure I wasn’t hiding him.
One day while I was getting ready for work, he came into my apartment with another guy and tried to measure my walls for the ‘renovation’ he was going to do to combine his and my apartments into one unit. But, don’t worry, I could just live with him when it was all finished.
Eventually, Jerry got evicted, but would still convince people to let him into the building. For months his mugshot was posted on all entrances saying to not let him in.” TracingBroads
26. This Woman Didn’t Like How Her Neighborhood Had Changed Since Childhood, So Had Everything Changed Back
Pixabay“She grew up in the neighborhood but moved out when she got married. About 10 yrs later, she buys her parent’s house when they decide to retire someplace else and moves back to the neighborhood. She immediately has a problem with how everything isn’t the same in the neighborhood as when she was a kid. My youngest son and her oldest son were the same age, and my son didn’t like her kid. So… she tells everyone in the neighborhood who will listen that my kids are bad and other kids should stay away from them.
The bus stop by our house has been in the same place since before we moved onto the street, BUT it’s not where it was when she was young so it has to be moved back! She had to walk an extra 30 feet to the stop and she couldn’t see her kid at the stop from her front windows. She calls the school and the bus company for TWO years to get it moved. Lo and Behold, the new school year starts and the stop has been moved back to where she wanted it. Her kid rides that bus for about TWELVE DAYS and she puts him in a private Christian school and he no longer rides the bus. 2 years later the stop moves back to where it was.” R00ster7431
25. Three Year Old Calls Out Mean Neighbor In Front Of Her Boyfriend
“Our kid used to sit on the porch and yell ‘hi’ at people walking by. Usually, pretty much everyone smiled and said ‘hi’ back to him, and we’d run outside and tell him not to yell ‘hi’ at people because that’s not normal.
But this one neighbor girl from upstairs would glare at him every single time with straight-up hate daggers in her eyes.
One morning kiddo did that and she rushes to the edge of our porch. She leans over and points a finger and screams at him ‘NO! YOU DO NOT TALK TO ME! YOU ARE NOT TO YELL AT ME! YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE!’
Hooooooly heck. That set my wife off. My wife is half Mexican and will be the first to admit that she’ll go from Sally Homemaker to ghetto queen in less than 10 seconds. She has no qualms popping out the hoop earrings and getting right in someone’s face, and this waify little princess from upstairs was way too petite to be picking fights with people.
She had a finger right in the girl’s face, ‘Don’t you be yelling at my kid, I’m the only one who yells at my kid, if you don’t want people yelling at you making loud noises you best not be messing with their kids, and so on.’ I think she sent the neighbor girl upstairs in tears.
Still, we took that as a learning opportunity for our little one. ‘Did you see what happened buddy, she got real upset and yelled at you, not everyone wants to say hi to you and yelling hi from the porch isn’t normal.’
So. Fast forward to a few days later, kiddo is outside again, neighbor girl walks past us with her part-time boyfriend .. kiddo yells ‘hi’ again because he’s a three-year-old. She glares at us, and her boyfriend smiles real friendly like and genuine, stops, hunches over a bit, looks our kid right in the eyes and says ‘hi’ to him. Our kid introduces himself. Young man introduces himself. They share a friendly little moment.
We tell our kid ‘Okay, that’s enough, let them go on their way now.’
Our three year old then proclaims in that adorably inappropriate loud as anything three-year-old voice ‘SEE MOM?? HE WAS NICE. JUST BECAUSE THE GIRL IS ALWAYS MEAN DOESN’T MEAN HER FRIENDS ARE!’
Called. Out. Homegirl was called out so d**n hard. By a three-year-old. She storms up the stairs with her boyfriend literally laughing out loud at her. She used the long way around to get into her door after that.” johnwalkersbeard
24. Nice Neighbor Turns Nuts Overnight
“Lived next door to ‘Bob’ for 10 years with no issues. He’s a retired prison guard, cop, military, about 70 or so. I was 25. We share views on many of life’s situations; political, legal, etc. We always got along swimmingly.
We share tools, chat now and then, but we’re not really ‘buds.’ He spends 6.8 days a week at his GF’s house, so we never really see each other more than 2 hours a year seems like.
At the 10 year mark, a policeman walks into my back yard where I’m raking leaves. He’s there about the complaint from Bob. Huh?
We go to speak with Bob and when I ask him what’s going on. He interrupts, yelling about my kids on his lawn, me riding motorcycles on his lawn, and more. He’s livid, spit flying, and he looks like he’ll have a stroke. I just looked at the cop and shrugged. We’ve all heard or read stories of neighbor spats escalating into retribution or violence, but all of his accusations are false. Completely baseless and out of the blue.
Cop says he has to give me a criminal trespass warning, so if I ever step foot on his property again, I can be arrested. I told him that’s like telling me I can’t sleep with his sister anymore. Never happened, never will. I spoke with him privately, and the best we can come up with is some mental illness, or he’s off his medication. It really was the strangest thing.
What annoyed me the most was two days later, as I’m driving away, he’s on his lawnmower, and waves and smiles at me like nothing ever happened. We’ve never determined if that was genuine because of the crazy, or if he was taunting me.
That was nearly 15 years ago, and I have never spoken to him since. I keep my family away, and we leave if we ever see him. Oh, and he’s moved back home this year, so he’s baaack!” 500SL
23. These Neighbors Turned Down Party Invite, Then Called The Police
“We had a party for all the neighbors when we moved in. I like to barbecue, and my wife is vegetarian, so we have two barbecues. We invited everyone on the street. They declined ‘because we’re vegetarian.’ ‘Not to worry.’ I said. ‘So’s my wife. We have two barbecues going, one for meat and one for veggies.’ I could see them trying to find another reason. They look at the invite. ‘Oh, the 6th? We’re out of town then. Sorry.’
That’s cool. They don’t want to come for whatever reason. They’re not just going to say that. We’re British, after all.
The day of the party comes. Our garden is quite big, so everyone can fit in happily. We’ve got the barbecues going on the opposite side of the garden to the aforementioned neighbors’ house. It’s only about 4 hours into the party at around 5 pm when we notice the upstairs windows in their house are open. ‘Weird, I thought they were out of town?’
As I’m looking at the windows with some of the other neighbors, we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!
We go round and ring the bell to explain this is the party they were invited to, and they’re still welcome to join. No answer. Curtains twitching upstairs. We go back to the party and just ignore them.
Later into the evening, the parents and kids have gone home, just a mix of older and younger neighbors left, and I’m now mixing cocktails at the outside bar (honestly, this house was amazing. I have no idea how it was in our budget, but anyway…) and then the Police walk in through the (open) back gate.
‘Someone’ has lodged a complaint. It’s only about 9 pm (noise complaints in the UK are typically not followed up until it goes past 11 pm) but not only are we having the biggest party known to man, but we’re ‘setting things on fire’ and ‘forcing alcohol onto children’.
Of course, the Police can see we’re having a fairly civilized adult get-together, and congratulate us on moving to the area, and for getting to know our neighbors in such a friendly way.
Monday, we’re off to unpack. Knock on the door. The police now have photographs of the alleged ‘forcing alcohol on a minor’ and ‘setting fire to things’. It’s one of the neighborhood kids bringing two beers from the fridge to me and his Dad at the barbecue. They’re not even open.
The ‘setting fire to things?’ Yeah. Using a blowtorch to light my barbecue. Apparently that’s endangering their property, which is a good 100 yards away from the contained fire within my oil drum barbecue. The police can see this is nonsense. They just need me to make a statement explaining. So I do. For the whole two years that we lived there, they avoided us. So weird, so unnecessary.” EffityJeffity
22. When Your Neighbor Nearly Kills Your Dad With Tree Poison
“Time to throw it back! To when I was still living with my alcoholic abusive religious dad. After he divorced my mom, we moved to a little road on the Eastern edge of my island. Let’s call our new neighbors Kex and Bev. Kex and Bev seem pretty okay, and we get along for a few months.
One day, Kex knocks on our door and asks that my dad moves his car outside his house, as it was, at the time, parked in front of theirs. They have two cars. My dad had one. There is absolutely zero reason to move the car, because parking outside your neighbor’s house adds literally just two meters to your walk to the front door. Nevertheless, my dad is in a pretty neutral mood, so he obliges.
A couple of weeks later, my dad is in one of his alcoholic stupors, and Kex asking him to move his car forward a few inches has really eaten deep into the vengeful part of his head. He storms outside and walks up to their front door and slur-shouts a demand at Kex that he move his car from outside our house to outside his house. Kex starts beefing and an argument riles up.
Kex mock-headbutts my dad, stopping an inch before contact. Then my dad, being Welsh, does the same back, but follows through and busts up Kex’s nose. He starts bleeding and Bev starts screaming something about the police and all that jazz. General drama.
Now, my dad sounds like the peak idiot so far. And that’s pretty true, he’s a total piece of work. But the neighbors actually took things further. The whole situation had turned into a stalemate. Kex never called the police on my dad. There was no communication between us at all anymore. If I left for school at the same time as Kex left for work in the morning, it was crazy awkward. Everything seemed to have settled though, until one day, my dad (sober for a few hours) decided to do some gardening.
He was tending to some weeds, yanking them out of the ground by their roots, when he suddenly tasted a slight metallic pang on his palette. He (being Welsh) spat onto his hand. B***d. Then he started coughing and a spatter of b***d escaped. He ran to the bathroom and started spitting it all into the basin. Then he started itching the roof of his mouth with his finger and moaning in pain, and his fingers came out with little bits of gummy flesh. He started gurgling water to wash his mouth out and eventually recovered and pulled himself together. He called the emergency services, intending to get medical attention. Instead, a fire engine turns up. It turns out they’re the folks who deal with dangerous chemicals.
They take samples from my dad’s mouth using a swab and then pop out to the garden to investigate. And when they pull back the bush my dad was working on, there’s a load of white powder strewn everywhere. They find it on my dad’s gloves, too. He’d not even noticed it through a mixture of visual impairment and generally being an ignorant fellow. They sealed some up and went off to identify it. A couple of days later, a couple of police vans turn up and the officers come in and inform us that the powder was a chemical agent for burning and weakening tree roots. The officers then went into the garden to inspect the fence which was beside the bush, and yeah, there was a little visible trail of the powder caught up in the wood’s rough surface. They went next door to speak to Kex and Bev and sure enough, they found a crate of the very same chemical agent. One of them had sprinkled some over the fence with the intention of screwing up our garden, and as a result, my dad inhaled it and screwed up his sinuses.
TL;DR: neighbors burned my dad’s mouth out with tree killer.” anon
21. This Neighbor Stole Electricity To Run His Drug Operation
“When I was a teenager and lived with my parents, we had this one neighbor family that seemed sorta off. One day the father knocks on our door and tells my parents they haven’t had power for a long time and begged to run an extension cord to one of our outside outlets for the day so his young kids could have cold milk with their cereal in the morning.
My parents agreed to do this for one day. The neighbor kept up their part and disconnected the cable after that day. A week later they hook it back up again without us noticing. A month goes by and our electricity bill is basically double what it normally is. Parents head to the backyard and find the cable plugged in, yank it out, and confront the neighbor.
At first, the father doesn’t show his whole body and cracks the door, but my stepdad gets him to open up the door after pointing out that he is concealing a gun (he didn’t have to pull the gun out). Stepdad demands an explanation as to why the cable was run to our outlet and the dude just sorta mumbles incoherently and shuts the door, locking it.
Bad neighbor family was in a duplex and their neighbor, sharing the building, comes around and asks what’s up. Parents explain the whole story and how the next step was calling the police. Good neighbor is a former police chief and is friends with the entire force. He offers to make the call.
Several cop cars arrive. Bad neighbor father and mother are arrested. Turns out they were running a drug lab inside the house. The mother was a prostitute and the kids (a boy and girl between ages 7-10) were malnourished. The kids were put into foster care. No other bad neighbor has beat that high score yet.” Naleid
20. This Neighbor Got Upset Because His Nosiness Wasn’t Rewarded
“Neighbor used to stand on the footpath drunk every afternoon and yell to my husband about what a **t*h I was. Once my husband told him to go home, and he shaped up to try and punch my husband, who was around 50 years younger than the neighbor.
My infraction? He rang one day to be nosy check why my husband’s car was home on a workday. I politely thanked him for his call and let him know my husband was sleeping and had a cold, nothing to worry about.
Apparently, I was meant to praise him profusely for being such a caring neighbor, and my husband was meant to follow up with a call once he was awake and also lavish him with praise for caring. Because we didn’t, we got to hear about it loudly every afternoon until we moved several months later.” macadamiaicecream
19. This Old Guy Was So Worried About Appearances He Asked A State Trooper To Move His Car
“Our old crotchety neighbor’s wife passed years ago and he spent his years calling the cops on us for stupid little things, like ‘vicious dogs’ running around our yard (the dog hid behind us when the police came) or calling because Comcast wasn’t working right, and it was up to the police department to fix it. It got to the point where the cops would screen his calls but not send anyone out anymore.
At one point, we had a friend come over to help with some landscaping. Our friend’s kids ran the family’s landscaping company, and the guy himself is a state trooper. All three of them came over in their big truck. Little old neighbor comes running over when he sees the truck parked in front of our lawn (which unfortunately happened to be on the other side of the street from his house) and threatens the state trooper with threats of calling the cops because he needs to move the truck, etc.
Our friend comes over to us laughing after he moved the truck down the road a little bit, saying, ‘I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’m a trooper.’ The kicker was that if our grass was left without mowing for a couple of days too long, this old neighbor would come over yelling at us because we weren’t taking care of the property and it was degrading his property value… but he still found it important to not have a landscaping truck temporarily parked on the road for a couple of hours while we took care of the property (dead-end street with no traffic).” blalala543
18. Girl Plants Catnip On Mean Neighbor’s Lawn And Kitty Chaos Ensues
“Dude was an idiot. He also hated cats, and loved his lawn. His lawn was his pride and joy. So the way my wife tells it, I think she was 10 at the time. She decides it’s time to teach this guy a lesson. I don’t know who inspired her to do this.
But she went to the hardware store and bought a heap of catnip seeds. Catnip is apparently a weed and grows very easily. She planted catnip all over his precious lawn. Few weeks later and dude has a 24/7 kitty rave party on his lawn. Dozens of cats, peein’, p****n’, fightin’, poppin’ and lockin’. I’m still amazed at the level of madness that this prank took on.” johnwalkersbeard
17. Dad Leaves Fallen Tree For Fifteen Years To Thwart Trespassing Neighbor
“He had 2 access roads to his property (he didn’t live there, he just had livestock there) and insisted on using the one that cut through our property, despite the fact that it was the longer route and it was literally an unpaved road through the woods. He didn’t have an easement or anything, just assumed that since he had to drive through our property to get to that lane road, he was allowed to do so. He was a total idiot to us for no reason, never said hi, got upset if we were too close to his property despite the fact that he literally drove through our property every day.
Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods and it fell right across the access to the lane road on OUR property. He hired a service to chop the tree up and told them they could have the wood as part of the payment (it was nice walnut). My dad wasn’t having any of that. He walked down there with a copy of the sale documents, pointed out the marker that clearly separated our land from our neighbor’s land, got the neighbor to admit that the tree in question was both from our land and currently laying on our land, not his, and then my dad sent the crew packing and told them if they took so much as a branch from that tree, it was theft and he (a lawyer) would see them in court for it. It’s been over 15 years and that tree is still laying across the access to the lane road. He can still access his property via the other road, so he didn’t have a leg to stand on to force an easement. Eff you, Jim.” Notsolittleliongirl
16. Yappy Dachshunds Are The Tip Of The Iceberg For This Neighbor
“Ahhhhhhh! Please allow me to vent because I am in the throes of this b.s. at the moment.
First, they have 4 mini-Dachsunds that never shut up. I cannot even open my backdoor without these little dogs going off, and they just leave their dogs outside all day. I enjoy sitting outside on a nice day and reading, but nope, I can’t concentrate over the ear-splitting constant yapping. Now, I am a dog person, I own dogs and love dogs, but this complete lack of consideration is mind-boggling.
Second, they rent (and I own), but the crazy wife told me she owns a 3′ strip of my property and they’ll be moving the fence over. I don’t have a huge yard, 3′ is a lot of space, and did I mention THEY RENT. I brought out my survey to say ‘No, you don’t own it and no, you aren’t going to be moving the fence,’ and she continued to say that they had their own survey but refused to show it to me.
Third, they seem to think it’s no big deal if they come into my yard. I came home from work to find they’d moved their water drainage into my backyard. They complain about my tree and asked me to cut it down. I said no. They put their garbage cans in my driveway. I’ve witnessed the wife empty her vacuum cleaner in my driveway. She has blown piles of leaves that haven’t even come from my tree into my driveway. Even after I put locks on my gate, she climbed up on a ladder, LEANED OVER THE FENCE, and leaf blew all the leaves IN MY YARD AND THAT WERE ALREADY IN PILES all over my yard. After that, I put up cameras and have future plans to press charges for trespassing the next time this crazy woman pulls another stunt.
She accused me of calling the police about her daughter’s illegal car (I didn’t) and putting up a note complaining about her garbage (I didn’t). She has called the health department multiple times on me for my grass being too long (it wasn’t and the health department did not cite me).
Listen, all I want to do when I come home after a day at work is hang out with my dogs and not talk to anyone or deal with any nonsense. I don’t know what to do about her. It’s like all these little things she does that toe the line at illegal and I feel like if I call the police they’re just going to look at it as a petty neighbor squabble instead of harassment.” Underblackwings
15. Christian Neighbor Killed This Kid’s Dog In A Horrific Way
“When I was 10, my neighbor – an 80-something-year-old man with a Christian radio station – shot and killed one of my dogs. When I went looking for my dog, I asked my neighbor if he had seen him. He told me that he shot a dog like that this morning.
Frozen, I asked where he was so I could bury him. The old man told me that his body was in the dumpster and that he would shoot me too if I didn’t get off his land.
I ran through the woods back to my house, screaming out loud in anger and punching trees until my knuckles were torn and b****y.
When I got home, I called the police and the K9 unit came out to my house. He retrieved my dog’s body and I buried him.
The worst part was that my dog was very sweet (I know that generally sweet dogs can be threatening, but it was very against his nature) my neighbor had tied him up and broken all of his legs, then shot him point-blank in the chest with a shotgun.
I have never felt more rage in my life. My mom took the man to court and he was charged with animal cruelty and the judge asked how much money I thought the dog was worth. I was dumbfounded and croaked out that I didn’t want money — I wanted my dog. The neighbor was fined $500 and I made him pay it to the local humane society.
The man had the ten commandments posted all around his house, so the next night I took a red sharpie and circled ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ on all of his signs.
My dog’s name was Hershey, he was a mutt that was born in my bedroom, he was only 2 years old and such a good boy.” mmont49
14. This Awful Neighbor Was Such a Jerk To Her Dogs, They Were Taken Off Her
“My horrible next-door neighbor would leave her pit-bulls out in the garden, all day, every day, with no food or water, in ANY kind of weather. It would be a storm and she’d leave them both outside in the rain, crying. It would be a heatwave and she’d leave them outside with no shade.
Once I picked up on it, I began to knock on her door and ask her to bring the dogs in because leaving them outside was obviously neglect. She would tell me to mind my own business but she’d yell at her kids to bring the dogs inside. Once I noticed that she didn’t learn her lesson, I contacted the RSCPA (the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) over and over until they sent out a letter to her.
She had the nerve to act like she had no idea why the RSPCA was contacting her. She came up to me in the street and was like, ‘Can you believe I got this letter, saying I abuse my dogs?’
I kept contacting them because despite knowing that the RSPCA was watching her, she still didn’t change her behavior. She honestly didn’t care about those poor dogs. They would jump at my fence whenever I was in the garden, practically begging. My sisters would jump the fence to give them bowls of water and feed them dog biscuits whenever she wasn’t home.
One day, she was yelling and her kids were crying so I went to see what was going on and it turns out that the RSPCA was removing the dogs from her because of the neglect. Took a few months but I was so happy to see them going to a better home.” anamair
13. This Guy Grew D***s On Their Land And Threatened To Kill Their Family
“Context, I grew up in a rural area on a fairly big property. It had been a large farm that got parceled out as the owner aged. So there were 4 3/4 acre lots and the 10-acre lot my partnes had, behind him. The house was relatively far away from our neighbors.
One neighbor was an absolute piece of work. When I was 8, I remember seeing the cop lights at his door. Found out when I was a little older that he had tried to murder his father over his oxy prescription (father owned the house, 30-year-old kid lived there rent-free). He did a few years in jail, then moved back in with his father who he had tried to kill. He grew pot on our land, then threatened to kill my mother when my father and I tore it down (but didn’t call the cops). Frequently threatened to assault/kill my mother. I can remember multiple times when I was younger, him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom. Other times I can remember thinking about the gun in my father’s office, in case our neighbor actually got inside the house. This was an 8-10 times a year occurrence from age 8-14.
He has calmed down a little after a second arrest and some anger management classes. Nowadays, he just has massive bonfires with tons of loud music and leaves empties on our property, which is still a jerk move, but better than physical intimidation and death threats.” Teh_swimmly
12. This Nosy Neighbor Tried To Tattle On A 14-Year-Old Girl To Her Parents
“He was really nosy and for some reason he hated me. I was a 14-year-old girl and I don’t remember doing anything to this man but he would always rat me out to my parents if he saw me outside. He told them I was smoking, entertaining boys in the tree on the front lawn, selling d***s, hurting animals…he just made things up! If I was in my backyard, he would watch me through our privacy fence. Once I was out back drinking a root beer (one of those in a glass bottle), he popped up from behind the fence with this huge smirk on his face and said ‘CAUGHT YOU!’ and tattled on me.
My dad brought him out back and showed him it was a root beer and then explained to him if he ever caught him looking through our fence he would call the police. Years later we caught him in our back yard picking up pecans. Thought he would help himself to the wagon we had back there because it ‘had been sitting a while and so clearly we didn’t need it.’ The man was a total nut job. He ended up moving away and we never saw him around again. Screw you Jerry from next door and whatever weird problem you have!” HaphazardSquirrels
11. This Neighbor Couldn’t Bear Tire Marks, On Someone Else’s Property
“The neighbor I used to have across the street from me once cussed me out for having a car parked partially on the grass (of my own lawn). The streets were narrow, and you’re technically not supposed to park in them. The car was parked so that the tires on the passenger side of the car were both on the grass (by about a foot) but it was at least helping to not block the street.
This was only temporary. When she started moaning at me from her house, I thought it was because she didn’t like seeing the car in the street. I could have at least understood that. But no, she was furious (and I do mean furious) simply because the tires on my grass were going to ruin my lawn, and my ruined lawn meant that it was going to lower her property value. She was trying to sell her home. She argued that parking on my grass was illegal, that her husband was an attorney and that she was going to be calling the police. I told her to call, and I told her husband to come talk to me. Neither happened.” manticor225
10. When Your Neighbors Communicate By Barking…
“I have a history of apartment renting, so I’ve had a few interesting folks. Two groups in particular. In my current apartment, my neighbors fight every morning. Every single morning without fail. They share a wall with my brother, and every day he says he hears,’You never listen to me,’ nagging for a few minutes, then something along the lines of ‘If you’d shut up once in a while maybe it would be worth it!’ We only have a week left before we move out and haven’t heard a thump or whack yet, so we really can’t call the cops. They just yell at each other.
Now, my previous apartment was a different matter. A cop used to live next door, and he was an alright guy. He was very quiet, just nodded to me every morning as he headed off to work. But the people who moved in after he left – not so much. I lived next to them for ~10 months, and I did not see them come or go once the entire time we were neighbors.
I recognized a smell from way back home one night while my wife and I were laying in bed. We shared a wall with them. We both recognized the smell immediately. The neighbors were smoking d***s. This was not a one time deal, and I’m fairly certain we heard the guy smack the girl around once. Then they were laughing and dancing less than five minutes later. They sometimes communicated through barking at each other.
Once again, the thought to call the cops was there, but we both knew from our upbringing how notoriously unpredictable this kind of people are. Plus, we were obviously the only people who would know what was going on since it was just our two apartments in that small building. Since we couldn’t do anything ‘serious’ about it, we just started having obnoxiously loud fun times.
I’m not 100% this is related, but shortly afterwards my wife heard people trying to open the door to our apartment while I was at work. It didn’t happen every day, but it definitely did happen 2-3 times a week for quite a while. The apartments were going to ‘keep an eye out,’ but nothing was ever done. So yeah, we boogied out of there at the first chance.” Empty_Insight
9. This Guy Got Revenge On His Jerk Neighbors By Throwing A Diaper On Their Roof
“Just recently, my new scumbag neighbors have decided to throw dirty diapers in my driveway. We know it’s them, they have the only diaper-wearing child on the block. My wife tossed them back into their driveway. Two hours later the same diapers reappeared in my driveway, followed by a third that was only a few feet from my door. I told my wife to leave them to me for when I got home from work. Upon arriving home, I tossed all three diapers onto their roof, likely never to be seen again… until the humid Midwest summer bakes those diapers into a glorious, colonic blasting poo storm of a smell for the d*****y neighbors.” alex323208
8. When You Love The Music Your Jerk Of A Neighbor Is Blasting…
“My neighbor above me was trying to force me to move out so she put her speakers on her floor pointing straight down and blared them at full volume. The instant it started, I leaped up in outrage at her audacity but after a few seconds, I realized, I really, really like this song. So I give it one song and as it’s winding down I prepare my outrage once again, only to be choked off when the next song is also a perennial favorite. I didn’t even bother getting upset before realizing that I liked the third song, too. She stopped at midnight when she was legally required to, and apparently realized she wasn’t getting much ‘bang’ for her buck as far as irritating me/effort on her part, so she didn’t try it anymore.” Oudeis16
7. When You Use Biggie To Teach Teen Neighbors A Lesson. I Was Not Expecting That Ending!
“Was living with my brother and a new family moved in downstairs. It was a mother and two boys in their teens. The mom had just been divorced and from what we could tell it was a bummer time.
So these two teenaged boys fought constantly. They were incredibly loud and I tried really hard to be empathetic and not complain. We would mention to their mom every now and then and she was very apologetic but it kept going.
So one Sunday they woke us up at 6 am, slamming doors and throwing things and just being ridiculous. My brother and I set up every piece of audio equipment we had in the house, so a bass amp, two PA’s, and a full drum set. And we blasted Hypnotize by Biggie for about 10 minutes and played along on bass and drums, PA’s on full.
Never heard those kids make noise again. Not sure if we shocked them or they finally got it or what. But we did prove who could make more noise, I guess.
Then my brother got it on with their mom. What was the question?” abeuscher
6. This Woman Thought Her Neighbor Was Painting Her White Cat
“Neighbors have 2 outside cats. They wander in our garden all the time.
Neighbor lady comes stomping over, an older lady, white hair, grumpy husband glaring at us over the fences between our yards.
Proceeds to yell at me for putting something on her cat (all white cat). I look at the cat, look at the lady and she points to the cat’s tummy, covered in pink and blue and yellow streaks. She thinks I’m poisoning her cat.
I point out the sidewalk chalk all over the patio and my young daughter and explain the cat keeps coming over and rolling all over her drawings.
Lady looks at chalk, looks at cat, looks at me and stomps away. Bye!” MumfyWest
5. This Grumpy Old Man Turned Violent And It Was Crazy
“I was like 12 or 13 at the time, in a suburb of Orlando, FL. Typical American suburbia.
We had this really ornery dude who lived next door. He never smiled. Never looked happy. When we moved in my parents went over to introduce themselves and he shouted ‘Go Away!’ through the door. Never saw lights on. Mowed his grass religiously at 7 AM on Saturdays. For 3-4 years, I never spoke to the man and neither did my parents.
So, it’s like 2003, middle of Summer. Hot, humid, and a bunch of us are playing outside with hoses, basketballs, just being normal kids.
All of a sudden, I see him walking out of the garage and heading towards me. He walks right up to me and grabs me by the throat, picks me up in the air one-handed, and growling/spitting in my face says, ‘If you kids don’t calm down, I’m going to get my shovel and put each and every one of you 6 feet in the ground.’ Keep in mind, we’re all 12-13 years old. And small. He’s like 6 foot, 240lbs. He grabbed me by the throat so hard I busted a b***d vessel in my neck. When I went inside, my throat was basically black/blue from the force at which he grabbed me. My mom was running errands at the time, so I called her on her cell, and she promptly called my Dad at work.
When my Dad came home and I told him what happened, he was eerily calm. My dad was normally very energetic personality-wise, and he had this cold calm demeanor that honestly scared the ever-loving heck out of me.
He went in his room and I followed him, and I saw him pull his .45 out of his safe, load it, and head towards the front door. My mom is in hysterics saying ‘Don’t kill him, don’t do it.’ and all my dad was saying is ‘[To me] come with me, let’s go talk to the neighbor’.
We walk up to the neighbor’s front door. Dad knocks and asks the guy to step outside and tell him what happened. Guy steps outside and dad promptly slams him across the face with the butt of his gun. Guy falls, and my dad sticks the gun in his mouth and with his boot on the guy’s neck, says something that I’ll never forget for the rest of my life.
‘If you ever threaten another child, mine or otherwise, with murder, especially when they’re just playing outside, I’m going to file the sights off this gun so that when I shove it up your a*s and pull the trigger, it won’t rip your rectum going up’.
Promptly stands up, and tells me ‘Let’s go inside.’ Police show up and arrest my Dad for assault, but ended up with only 100 hours of community service and misdemeanor trespass after the evidence of my assault and all the witness testimony corroborated my story.
The guy moved out like 6 weeks later.
We found out several years later randomly that the guy was killed when he tried to fight some younger thugs over their football playing in his new neighborhood in a bad part of town, and he got shot. The family said on the news that he was manic depressive, with bi-polar and schizophrenic tendencies. Crazy stuff. My dad is probably where I get my complete lack of fear from.” johnnyglass
4. This Weird Neighbor Acted Like He Owned The Place…
“We had just moved to our new house in the summer and it had a fenced-in pool in the backyard which also had a fence around it. So, my siblings and I took advantage of it being a hot summer day and were out playing in the pool. I’m the oldest so I’m just keeping an eye out and everything and then I look over outside of the pool fence and I see our neighbor walking around in our yard to the fire pit that we had a further back in the backyard. I became a little uneasy cause I had only seen this guy once when we first moved in and it looked like the fence that was between his property and ours had a gate on it. He smiled and waved to us and I was like nope, and told my siblings to get out of the pool and inside.
I told my mom straight away and she was livid. That week, my dad and mom put a lock on our side of that gate so our neighbor couldn’t get into our backyard. He noticed a bit later that he couldn’t get into our backyard and was upset for some reason. Apparently the previous owners and he were like best friends and he used their backyard all the time to come and burn branches and leaves in their fire pit. Ok, good for them, but this was our house now and you don’t go walking into people’s property without asking them first. Especially since we didn’t know him at all! So while, god forbid, he may not have malicious intentions, it was still really creepy and kind of w*f when he got upset that we put a lock on our side of the fence to keep him off of our property. We don’t talk to him much after that.” mikigski
3. Note To All Neighbors – Vomiting From Your Apartment Balcony Is A Jerk Move
“Not current neighbors and happened about 10 years ago when I was 22 or so. I lived in an apartment complex on the bottom floor. Each apartment had a small balcony with a sliding glass door to it.
The incident was maybe 2 weeks after I moved in. The people who lived on the top floor (second floor) I’m pretty sure were young navy guys who used to have parties all the time which is to be expected. I was getting ready for my first party in this place myself and it was just me and my friend Tiny (Tiny is 6′-6” and almost 300lbs at the time) setting up. It was maybe like 7 or 8 pm and we could hear the navy guys having a party already in full swing and we could hear people outside upstairs.
Tiny was out having a smoke on the patio when we hear what we think is dripping water outside. It’s dark and the patios above would allow for water to fall all the way down to me. It starts becoming more rapid and I see it hitting Tiny in the head and covering him. It pooled up on the top banister of my patio and he ran his hand through it only to realize it wasn’t water but puke and a lot of it. One if not more of the navy guys had just puked all over him from 2 stories up. He was naturally ready to kill them and I somehow stopped him from doing so. Instead, we called the cops and come to find out all but like 2 people there were underage and I saw a few people being led away in handcuffs.” DaG_broomstick
2. Clearly This Guy Preferred Fruits To Flowers!
“Significant other and I rented the middle unit of a one-story 3 unit triplex. A sidewalk led directly up to our front door and on either side of the sidewalk, about 10ft directly in front and slightly to the left and right of our front door were two very small 2ft x 2ft garden areas fashioned out of landscape timbers.
For 6 months of living there, nothing was planted in them so we decided to buy and plant some flowers to brighten it up.
Next day, we found a handwritten letter on our door in which our left-side neighbor informed us that he was deeply offended that we had taken the liberty to plant flowers in HIS garden (because as he explained, it was the 2×2 garden on his side of the sidewalk). He intended to plant a tomato plant there and he planned to follow through with his plans whether there were flowers or not.
In a letter of our own, we explained that a tomato plant was not the intended use of a flower garden and that his planting a tomato directly in front of our door would be inappropriate.
Next day, we come home to find flowers dug up and placed in front of our door and tomato plant complete with metal cage planted in its place.” LikeChicken
1. The Best Part Of This Story Is This Guy’s Wish For His Neighbor At The End!
“I worked for a pool company and they allowed me to take an extended lunch one day for some personal matters. I stopped by my house real quick in my work truck that had the company’s logo and phone number on it. While I was grabbing a change of clothes and cleaning myself up, my neighbor called my boss and told him I’m smoking d***s in the company’s truck and that I’d been there doing it for 3 hours (I was there maybe 10 minutes) just trying his hardest to get me fired.
My boss was furious and ready to can me because my neighbor has an irrational hatred for us, until my coworker took it upon himself to research the number that called to complain and found out that it was, in fact, my neighbor who had called. They called my mom who was a customer at the pool store and asked her what the deal was with my neighbor and she explained everything in detail. When I got back to the shop I was expecting to get reamed out by my boss and told not to come back, but instead, he just smiled at me and asked how my route went. That was a really stressful day for me and I live nowhere near that guy now but I still hope every time he poops there’s no toilet paper in his house.” PEE_SEE_PRINCIPAL
Wow. These stories really make us appreciate our lovely neighbors! Of course, not everyone is so lucky in the neighbor sweepstakes. Have you had any experiences to rival these? What did you do about it? It would be awful to have to move because a neighbor is being a jerk, but sometimes that’s the fastest way to solve the problem!
