People Want Us To Determine Who's Innocent In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
23. AITJ For Wanting To Move In With My Father?
“I am 14 years old and my parents are divorced. I live with my Mom and my half-brother Jeffrey who is on the autism spectrum.
I still see my Dad a lot – on weekends if he isn’t working or he’ll take me out to dinner at least once a week. We text a lot too. I used to live some of the weeks with Mom and some of it with Dad but that got to be a big hassle so I told them I just wanted to live in one place.
I go to school where Mom lives so that is where I wanted to stay. Dad said he would miss having me around at his place but that the most important thing was that I will be happy. If I thought this would make me happy then that is what we should do.
Jeffrey is 7 years old and he has a lot of issues because of his autism. He only speaks a couple of words, he screams a lot (just sounds – not words), and he has meltdowns if anything changes. A lot of time it’s hard to do anything including things like homework.
I try to keep him out of my room because he breaks things, but then he will just hit the door over and over. Dinner is awful because you never know if it is going to be a good day or a bad day. I can’t bring friends home because that freaks him out.
Mom spends almost all her time with Jeffrey trying to help him or taking him to appointments – which I get. He needs her more than I do, but I still get upset that she never spends time with just me. Even when I need help with homework I Facetime Dad and he helps.
I told Dad how I am feeling and he told me I can always come live with him. I thought about it and I decided that is what I want to do.
I told my Mom and she told me that I can’t do that.
She needs me to stay because if I live with my Dad he won’t pay her child support anymore and she needs that money. My Dad is a cardiologist – so he earns a lot. I guess Dad gives a lot of it to Mom to take care of me.
I told Dad what Mom said and he got really mad (at Mom, not me). He came over to the house and he told me to go to my room but I could still hear them yelling at each other. It was kind of scary since my Dad never yells.
He called me down after and asked me to think only about what I wanted and what would make me the happiest – where did I want to live? He said not to worry about him, or Mom, or Jeffrey. Mom tried to talk but Dad told her to be quiet.
I told him I wanted to live with him. He said to pack up my stuff and that we would move me back into his place on Saturday. Then he told my Mom to ‘remember what he said.’ After he left my Mom started crying saying that I ruined everything and she didn’t know what she was going to do.
Dad says I didn’t do anything wrong, but Mom is really mad at me. Am I the jerk? Mom thinks so – but I just want to live somewhere it will be quiet and where someone will spend time with me. Is that wrong? Should I stay with Mom as she wants me to?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – You are 100% not responsible for the care of your half-brother. Even if he was your full-blood brother you still would not be responsible for him. His parents are responsible for his care. Your mother placing the burden of financially caring for her son, via your father paying child support, is awful.
It may be hard to see that right now but you are a minor and your mother is placing her adult burdens at your feet. That is absolutely not ok.” GMS_Vasha
Another User Comments:
“Ah, kiddo, you are NTJ!
Look, your mom can’t use your little brother as an excuse to be a crappy parent.
It is NOT your responsibility to provide any kind of support, financial or otherwise, for your little brother; either indirectly or directly. It’s not your job to entertain him while you are trying to do homework. It’s not your job to make your mom’s life easier.
YOU. ARE. A. CHILD!
Go stay with your dad. There are resources available that your mom can apply for. She can apply for Social Security for your brother. Where’s his dad at? Why isn’t she filing for child support from his father? If his dad is deceased, why hasn’t she filed for Social Security survivor’s benefits?
There are so many other options out there for your mom to apply for! The fact that she is trying to say she needs you to stay with her because your dad pays child support for YOU and she uses it for your brother is really messed up!
Look, my wife’s cousin has a daughter that is autistic and non-verbal. She tried to guilt her own parents into supporting her because she was too ‘LAZY’ to go file the paperwork for the services her daughter is eligible for. Then her ex-husband tried to sue for full custody, with the intent to take the kids back east where his family lives.
Because ‘SHE’ was checking out, not keeping up with ‘homeschooling’ the kids, not providing proper therapy for her daughter; you name it, she was NOT doing it.
The judge gave her 90 days to get a job, get the kids enrolled in school, get her daughter enrolled in therapy, and apply for all the services she should have applied for, to begin with; or he’d grant full custody to her ex-husband.
My wife tried to warn her but always got that ‘you don’t know what it’s like!’ crap. Wife called nonsense and they don’t talk much anymore. (Wife spent a long time as a single parent with no one helping her before she met me and some of the things she shared with me about it could curl your hair.)
Wife was super disappointed when it came out that her cousin’s oldest was about 3 years ‘BEHIND’ his peers in school. Cousin just whined about how her daughter took up all of her time and the boy was left to his own devices. Wife straight up told her she was a crap mom and that she’d lose her kids if she didn’t get her act together.
My point is YOU. ARE. ‘FOURTEEN’. YEARS. OLD! You are a kid! Your mom should have been taking care of you as well as your brother! If she was overwhelmed, she should have been being an adult and asking for help, not just banking on the fact she could use YOUR child support payments exclusively for your little brother.
AND! OMG! Little One, DO NOT apologize for needing your mom or feeling neglected because she ignored your needs solely in favor of your brother! That is NOT what parents are supposed to do! It’s irresponsible, immature, selfish, and self-absorbed of her to have done that!
You ‘should’ be upset, mad, sad and just a roiling ball of emotion about it, because she straight up ‘NEGLECTED!’ you!
Wife says:
DO! NOT! STAY! WITH! YOUR! MOM!
Go live with your dad. Let him take care of you. You have 4 years before you are legally an adult.
I am hoping you have aspirations of going to college or a trade school for a career you really, really like! I am hoping that you use this opportunity to live with your dad to find your passion and then pursue it!
You are worthy!
You are loved! You ‘DESERVE’ to be happy with a life full of love, laughter, light, and joy!
You don’t say whether you are a boy or a girl. My wife is betting girl, because of the way your mom seems to value your brother and put all the responsibility for ‘helping’ her financially, via your child support payments, on you.
That is an egregious betrayal of the parent-child relationship.
Go with your dad. Ask him to put you in therapy so that you can talk to someone about all of this. They will help you realize that you are not in the wrong and that what your mom has been doing is very much WRONG.
Go with your dad and heal.
My crazy household is over here cheering for you.” Wise-Excuse1015
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your father corrected your mother’s incorrect assumption that it was your job to take care of her. Your only job as a minor is to learn to take care of yourself in age-appropriate ways, regardless of what others try to get you to do for them.
Please understand that it is NOT your job to choose your mom’s happiness and comfort over your own, I am so grateful that your father is able to put you first even when your mother isn’t. Go to your dad’s thinking about all the ways in which this will help you, not on the guilt trip your mom is trying to lay on you.
Good luck!” 3tzamani
22. AITJ For Not Inviting My Son's Dad To His First Birthday Party?
“I (27f) have a son (1m) with my ex who’s 32m, we had my son from a friends-with-benefits type of situation.
I chose to keep him, knowing I would take full responsibility if he didn’t want any part, but he did. For the first 6 months of pregnancy everything was good we were in a relationship and moved in with each other but as it got closer to labor he started to become more and more distant and rude.
During my last month of pregnancy, we got into a huge argument and I ended up moving back into my old apartment (that I was still leasing just in case )
He did show up at the hospital but WITH his NEW partner. I was shocked, I didn’t know what to say, so I just sat there acting like everything was cool.
Once they left I added him and his partner to my no-contact list in the hospital. Because my feelings were hurt and I just knew why he became distant toward the end.
But because I wanted to be the bigger person and wanted my son to build a bond with his dad.
I let him come see our son every day up until he was 5months
His crazy partner showed up at my house with drama, it got so bad, that I had to press charges. And this was all over him ‘spending too much time with his son and me and not her’.
I literally don’t spend time with him. I leave, and he chooses to stay at my apartment with our son because ‘he (son) has everything here’.
After the incident, He sent a text saying he can’t stop by anymore and that he’s gonna lessen the number of days he wants to see his son and that we can only meet in public places.
Cool, that was fine with me I didn’t want any more problems with the crazy Chica.
Eventually, he stopped texting, stopped communicating, and stopped coming around. I tried to get answers but never got a response, I didn’t want to force him to be a dad if he didn’t want to be one.
He then sent me a message saying he wanted to relinquish his rights etc.
This went on until my son’s bday.
My son just turned one on Saturday, I threw a party at the park, with my family, friends, my ex’s sister, and my ex’s mom, WHICH I APPRECIATE.
They are in low contact with him because of him having a new partner throughout my pregnancy and other differences.
I guess my ex saw the videos from his mother’s social media and decided to send me a lengthy message through another number about how ‘I’m keeping him away from his son’.
I’m not. ‘I should’ve never stopped trying to communicate’. I tried. ‘I make him feel like the worst dad ever’. HOW? I sent him the text screenshot of what he said about relinquishing his rights… Come to find out his partner was messaging me and saying stuff then she’ll delete the messages and block me so everything he texted personally never reached me.
He broke up with her, but I can’t help but feel bad about not inviting him, and told him we could redo another party, but he’s being bitter and saying I’m the jerk for having a party without him it’s no point now so AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You did everything you logically could do, it is not your job to go above and beyond for someone who chose to get into another relationship while you were pregnant with his child. Don’t fall for the guilt trips or the shame, let him know you empathize over his plight with his ex-partner but holding a second 1st birthday is all you can do to help.
If he truly learned from the experience he’ll hopefully behave differently by the time your son’s second birthday rolls around. Either way, you have plenty to worry about with your son without adding an immature adult’s emotions into the mix. Boundaries!” 3tzamani
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you made the decision based on the information you had, that he wouldn’t respond to you and said he wanted to give up rights. Yes, I know he didn’t actually say that, but up until it was too late, to you he had.
He’s a soft jerk here because he decided to go out with crazy, and he’s blaming you because of what crazy did. Soft because he seems like a good guy who wants to be a good dad, just made a bad choice to involve himself with her.
She’s the big jerk here because of her jealousy and what she did to separate him from his son, just to stay further away from you.
You can’t change the past, but knowing what you know now, just don’t hold it against him in the future.” Thisisthatguy99
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – if he wanted to, he could have. I don’t think he would not have known he was blocked. Did he not know any of your social media? Never tried to stop by in person to talk? He also didn’t keep in touch with his own family and questioned why they started distancing themselves.
Did he not go to court to get a custody arrangement?
He doesn’t get to put little to no effort into seeing his child and then complain that he doesn’t see his child.” Ok_Job_9417
21. AITJ For Refusing To Leave My Friend's Baby Shower After My Ex Asked Me To?
“She’s not technically an ex since we were never in an actual relationship. I (26M) was back home for a few months almost 2 years ago. We hooked up for I’d say 4 months until I flew back out of state for work again. She and I didn’t see each other again just recently at this baby shower.
I guess they became friends through this mom group (my friend has one other kid) and they became good friends so that’s why she was also invited. And I was gonna say hi when I saw her there but she ignored me. Then that’s when I noticed she was there with her partner and their baby so thought it was better to keep my distance.
But she actually approached me like 10 mins later by the bathroom in the house. She asked me if I could leave because she was with her partner, and it was just very awkward with both of us there at that party.
But like I haven’t even approached them at all so why would it be awkward if we don’t interact during the party?
She wasn’t letting it go, she actually told me please and it’s complicated. I told her if her partner doesn’t know we have a history then he won’t need to because I honestly don’t care, all I’m doing is celebrating one of my close friend’s day so if she leaves me alone I’ll leave her alone.
That didn’t end up being the case. They left not even an hour later. I kept my word though about not going near them but one of my friends told me her partner saw me and for whatever reason, they started arguing. It wasn’t subtle either.
They went to the front of the house but you could still hear what sounded like them raising their voice at each other. And a few mins later I saw her walking toward my friend probably telling her bye but she definitely looked right at me after that like she was super annoyed.
Everyone at the party was confused after so they were all talking about it for the rest of the time.
For the first time in a long time she texted me since I never changed my number, she told me thanks for ruining a party when all of this could’ve been avoided. I asked her what could have been avoided but again she doesn’t tell me.
She just thinks it’s my fault for whatever went down. Then after my friends found out she asked me to leave they think I’m the jerk for not doing that.
The whole party was meant for my friend and it was turned into some drama just because I wouldn’t leave even if it was for some unknown reason.
Idk what to think now. Or why it was such a big deal that we were at the same party when neither of us even talked at all. AITJ for being the cause of a scene because I denied her request?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – OMG She got busted. She was unfaithful to her partner and told him a bunch of nonsense to get herself out of hot water.
All is well then, Biff Bam Boom in your walk. She was sweating bullets. She’s the one who caused all this drama and it’s more likely than not that a few of the ladies there knew exactly what was going on. That’s why they are saying that you’re the jerk because you’re the other man (only you didn’t know it) and should have left the party.” OutlandishnessDry703
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – your friend invited the both of you there so you could both be there for her. Your ‘ex’ and her new SO are immature for having issues with your presence, not to mention the fact that it wasn’t their party so they had no right to ask you to leave or otherwise try to control the guest list. If it had been my party and I found out that someone had done this to one of my other guests, I would be pretty annoyed at them for doing that.” AvgHeight510
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
She wasn’t the host, she doesn’t get to ask you to leave. She’s the one who created the drama.
She doesn’t get to say, ‘It’s complicated,’ without explanation, and expect that to be justification for her bizarre request.
You might want to check in with your friend regarding your intention to simply play it cool by keeping your distance, and that you regret the incident happening at all (even though you were not at fault).
Sounds like you really dodged a bullet by not having more of a relationship with her.” Johoski
20. AITJ For Being Mad At My Friend For Forgetting Our Birthday Plans?
“My friend and I have birthdays very close to each other, May 8th and May 19th, and a few weeks ago we planned out Saturdays we would meet up with another friend for each of our birthdays and hang out.
We were going to go to a ren fair on May 7th for my friend’s birthday and go on a garage sale hunt on the 14th of May to celebrate mine.
Before all this, though I’d been planning out my friend’s birthday gift this year since the previous year.
Gift-giving is my love language. I’m constantly getting small things for my friends while thrifting or at dollar stores because I want to make them smile and giving gifts is the best way I know how.
Last year, I had a great tax return and I was able to buy my friend a switch lite.
My friend didn’t get to play video games growing up cause they lived in a strict no well to do household. I wanted to change that. This year I planned to go beyond that and get them a 3DS with a bunch of my favorite games growing up and games I thought they would like for DS and 3DS.
And I’ve spent months searching for copies of rare games I grew up with for them and have easily spent 500$ since January putting this together for them without them having the foggiest idea what I’m up to. I even figured out what pokemon titles they might prefer without cluing them in.
… and then today happens. The copy of pokemon X I got them had just come in, one of the last parts of their gift, and I had just panic searched my room for two hours for my copy of Y so I could transfer out any special event pokemon or otherwise good pokemon from the save file to give back to them later if they want them so they didn’t miss out.
I just got done transferring when I checked our discord chat.
‘What were we supposed to be doing on the 14th of May? I ask because I don’t remember, my sister might have her graduation party that day, and I might not be able to get that day off because 6 other people asked before I did.’
I’m not angry that they can’t do that day. But I just feel extremely hurt and betrayed they can’t even remember it was gonna be my birthday celebration. I was so angry for a second that I had a nasty thought about just selling it all back and getting them a used switch game instead.
Couldn’t they have looked back in the chat or something? It’s just so infuriating given how much work I’m putting into their birthday gift and they can’t even remember when we were gonna celebrate mine… and at the same time, it’s dumb for me to be upset cause they probably have NO CLUE how much effort I’m putting into theirs, and sometimes people just blank on things… I don’t know, is my anger selfish or a natural response?”
Another User Comments:
“Oh, honey…
I don’t know how old you are but the fact that you know your own love language says a lot about your self-realization. Good for you for that.
But I won’t lie, you girls sound late teens age. Scrolling up for people sometimes doesn’t quite make sense to them at the time, so they ask instead.
You are NTJ since you haven’t reacted. You are valid in your feelings. Talk to your friends and say ‘Hey! This was supposed to be my bday party day,’ and see how she reacts. Cuz the whole ‘oh yeah I forgot’ crap is like they don’t care.
But the ‘oh crap that’s right!’ is when they do care, but legit forgot. Let’s face it. Some people’s memories suck. Like mine.” guessmyageidareyou
19. WIBTJ If I Reach Out To A Guy's Wife?
“So almost a year ago two friends and I moved in together. A fourth mutual friend (I didn’t know him super well) helped us move into our apartment. We all worked in the same field so we all often hung out at our place usually just talking about work.
Our fourth friend worked for a different employer but essentially in the same department as me. Because of this, he asked to borrow two books to brush up on some stuff which I agreed to loan him, but let him know the two books he wanted were gifts I had received and I would want them back.
Well, that living situation fell through for unimportant reasons, and I was about to move out of state and reached out to the guy to get my books back and heard nothing.
It’s been over a year and I’ve requested my property back eight times through messages and received multiple excuses.
My wife who knew this guy said he’s always been super spacey and unreliable, but she suggested messaging his wife as she ‘runs their house’.
I’m worried that messaging his wife will make me seem like a petty jerk, but I don’t know what to do.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I feel you are just trying other avenues to try to retrieve something important to you. Could you maybe get a number to call him? A call might be harder to ignore. Or having a mutual friend get them from him for you?
Just some other ideas maybe. Good luck getting your books back.” ShannonS1976
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, get your books back. You let him borrow them telling him you would need them back. You tried multiple times to talk to him directly, messaging his wife is the only reasonable thing I can see next unless you want to show up on their doorstep.” Ashamed-Age3450
18. AITJ For Telling My Friends I Don't Want To Be Friends With Them Anymore?
“So, today I (16M) said to my group of friends that I want to leave the group and find new friends. Basically, the story started in 6th Grade when my best friend (in 7th Grade) made two new friends (from my class) and we all started to hang out together.
However even if I was friends with these other two people it didn’t feel like we were really friends but I still went out with them even if they only wanted to hang out with my ‘best friend’, let’s call him Danny for this story.
I was there cuz Danny wanted me to be there too. However, if Danny couldn’t make it the other two ‘friends’ would cancel the hang-out even if I arrived or we three were there.
So however this happened for some months till I made a new friend from a different class, let’s call him Henry.
I started to hang out with him more than with the group even if tried to balance the hangouts between them, continuing till the end of the 8th Grade when I had the dumbest idea and called Henry to hang out with this group. So we were 5 now and what disturbed me was that my 4 friends connected really well and I was starting to feel kinda left out.
This happened till the beginning of 9th Grade when Danny moved to another country. The 3 friends did still call me out and other things, but they all started with things like Danny didn’t like you as much and I found out about sleepovers I wasn’t invited to and such things.
I felt kinda sad and useless.
After a while, they started to hang out with each other without calling me too. They were usually calling me to go with them when they were out of money etc. At school, they always talked about things they did together over the week and I wasn’t invited, I felt kinda left out.
After a while, I started not to go out with them even if they would call me to come.
This continued for about one-two months, till today when I went out with them cuz it was a boring Sunday and I was bored. After some hours one of them told me that I was a jerk for not coming out for almost two months and then I said, well if you call me just when you need money (they called me today when I went for the first time in two months and guess what, yes they were out of money), we all started arguing and we were 3v1.
They always made fun of me and etc. and I was still the one that wasn’t good enough to hang out with.
However, after I said that they wouldn’t even have met each other if I hadn’t called Henry that night. I ended the discussion with ‘I’m going to search for some real friends’ and left. I heard them shouting at me bad words in my language I couldn’t translate or things like ‘You will never find other friends’ and ‘You will come back to us.’ I really don’t want to talk with them anymore.
AITJ or what shall I do?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, go find some real friends and never turn back. They are not your friends for sure, I had something similar happen in middle school (around age 12/13) and it HURT but ended up becoming friends with my now best friend and the only friend I still talk to and see (we graduated 9yrs ago).” Ashamed-Age3450
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Don’t force yourself to hang out with people who basically bully you. Those aren’t friends at all. Go do your own thing and find new people.” NickiCodeRed
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. The best thing about friends is that you get to choose them.
Having them doesn’t make them permanent. Sometimes people grow apart. Better to remove yourself from the company of people who no longer share your idea of friendship.” Verustratego
17. AITJ For Calling Out My Mother-In-Law In Front Of Guests?
“My MIL is a serial MLM’er (Multi-level Marketing) (she was in 5 different MLMs in the last 3 years). Right now, she’s in the company Pruvit which sells ‘ketones’ that are basically pre-workouts. She tries to get everyone she meets to try some. I refuse every time because I already have health problems and don’t drink any stimulants which give me a good excuse to not support the business model.
Well, last time we went to her place with my stepdaughter (her granddaughter) for the family lunch, she gave her a ‘juice’. When SD was halfway done with it, she went and took a selfie with her, asking her to pose with her thumbs up and her glass of juice in the shot.
I saw the picture on social media with a quote that said ‘Pruvit is good for the whole family, DM me to try it for yourself’ or something like that. I was mad. The ingredients are pretty much the same as a Redbull and she gave that to a 5-year-old without asking my fiance or me if it was ok?!
I flipped out. I grabbed the glass of juice, emptied it into the sink, and started to tell her how unhealthy and dangerous it could be for a child that young to drink this type of thing. She was not having it. She told me I didn’t know what I was talking about (I did do quite a bit of research on the products) and that I was being unsupportive and negative energy in her life if I can’t support her promoting ‘her’ business.
I told her she was in a pyramid scheme and that I, in fact, do not support the business. She asked us to leave. There were about 10 people around the table and everybody was too stunned to say anything.
We packed our things and left. The next day, she was texting my fiance about how humiliated I made her feel by discrediting her in front of her guests and how disappointed she was that he didn’t stand up for her.
He told me I could have waited to be alone with her instead of doing it in front of everyone.
I was just so mad in the heat of the moment that 1. She would use her 5-year-old granddaughter to sell her overpriced pre-workout and 2. Would actually make her drink some.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
Your stepdaughter is very lucky she doesn’t have an undiagnosed heart condition because what her grandmother did could have killed her. Honestly, I’d be disallowing any unsupervised time and telling kiddo not to drink ANYTHING other than water there because the ‘juice’ she gave her was dangerous.
I have just looked it up, this thing has coffee bean extract and over 500% of the daily intake for vitamin B6.
For reference – Giving your child too much B6 causes issues for them over time and can actually be toxic. Too much B6 in the diet can lead to nerve damage or numbness in the extremities (arms, legs, hands, feet) that can be irreversible.
The potassium level in ONE serving is around half the daily needs of a child too. Is she tracking the rest of the child’s intake to make sure she’s not risking hyperkalemia? Also, literally says on the ingredients list ‘CAFFEINE EQUIVALENT TO A 12-16 OZ CUP OF COFFEE.’
Kids don’t need to be in ketosis, kids need carbs to grow and fuel their high energy levels.” NoPersonality276
Another User Comments:
“You have a mil problem but you have a MUCH bigger husband problem. His mother literally endangered his child without his knowledge or consent by feeding her a known stimulant in order to support her snake oil sales.
AND THEN his mother posted his child’s picture on the internet without consent to strangers, also to sell her snake oil. And he thinks YOU are the problem. Yeah. No.
He should have freaked out on her too and absolutely ripped into her in front of the world.
From this day forward, IF you have contact, she 1) is not to be trusted alone with kid, 2) is not permitted to take or share any photos of kid, 3) kid knows that grandma makes bad choices and she is not to take food/drink from her ever even if grandma says it is okay.
And 4) stop financially supporting this woman.
NTJ.” Eureecka
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, obviously. Your husband should be more concerned about how easily his mother falls for mlm scams than sheltering her ego.
Even if her mlm was pushing products that were made for children, it’s still inappropriate to use her grandchild to push her products without consent.
The fact that those things are pumped full of ingredients that are not meant for child consumption and she still coerced your kid to drink it & pose for a picture is honestly horrific. I wouldn’t allow my kid to ever be alone with her again.” Ana_Rampage
16. AITJ For Getting Revenge On Two Women At Walmart?
“I’m buying spring cleaning supplies at Walmart. I’m (m 58) of average height but pretty fit and muscular, nothing outrageous, just, I can look intimidating.
In the back of Walmart, there are double doors that the employees use to bring large carts out to stock the shelves. It’s usually near aisles that must be stocked regularly like cleaning supplies or groceries. I hear a girl say excuse me I need to get through.
In front of the double doors are two women (mid-40s) talking with their carts blocking the employee from getting to the back. The girl says again, very nicely I must add, excuse me ladies I need to get through. The women look at her, they know she needs to get through but continue to stand there talking.
Attitude like it’s a big inconvenience for them to move out of the way.
This just annoys me. Why do people treat workers like freaking trash? I’m about to say something but hatch a better plan. One of the lady’s carts has her purse in it, so that’s a no-go.
I make eye contact with the girl and smile. I can see she is fighting her irritation. As I casually walk past the woman I snag the other woman’s cart full of groceries and walk away. They don’t notice for a second and then start to pursue me.
Now, this may be where I might be the jerk. I could have just left the cart and gone about my day, but obviously, that’s not what I did. As I quickly move down the aisles I put some of her groceries back on the shelves.
I try to get the stuff close but I don’t have time to be perfect. The lady tries to pull the cart from me claiming that it’s her stuff. I say it’s not your stuff until you pay for it. And continue on my way.
I didn’t get much put back on the shelves because she kept pulling on the cart.
I take a bag of frozen chicken breasts and throw them back into the freezer case. Almost make it to the front of the store and the three of us are starting to make a scene so I abandon the cart but take several items with me, I think she was going to make chocolate chip cookies.
They don’t follow me and I make a clean getaway. When I get back to my shopping I notice the other woman’s cart, her purse is not in it now so off I go. I roll it to the camping section and pull out all the cold items, there were only a few and I needed milk and butter anyway so bonus.
I told a friend about what happened later and she asked me why I was such a jerk about it and wondered why I didn’t stop after I had solved the problem. She told me it’s just like a MAN (yes she said it like that) to think he has the right to be a judge, jury, and executioner.
I don’t think I’m a misogynist pig but then again I am a guy so who knows? I did go back to the camping area later to put the rest of the stuff away but it was gone when I got there. I feel bad that an employee might have had to restock the stuff, my bad.
I never did see the girl again, hope she had a chuckle about it.
So did I take it too far, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here – they really were terrible and I was with you for most of the ride but in the end, I think you took it too far.
You proved your point and helped the employee with the first cart, anything after that was about getting satisfaction from making those women dance for you.” Mediocre_Mechanic_23
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. Sure, the women should have been more self-aware and moved when requested, however you did escalate things way more than required. I think just leaving the trolley to allow the employee to pass would have been sufficient.” xpotential31
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. It’s a little funny, but it’s odd that you took it so far. While it doesn’t sound like you’re a ‘misogynist pig’ this is something that I could only imagine a guy doing to women. You even make a point of your appearance.
I’m guessing you wouldn’t do this if it was two big dudes. So yeah, you had a bit of a power trip over women and your friend was right to point that out.” Flicksonreddit
You're my hero.
I wouldn't have even cared if I had to put the pilfered groceries back.
It would have been worth it to watch you in action.
15. AITJ For Telling My Parents To Disobey My Grandma?
“Basically my grandma is 92, she has dementia and for some unintelligent reason, she prefers her daughters who constantly take money from her and spread lies.
My grandma’s daughter has done a lot of bad stuff to us including stealing, spreading lies, taking funds from my grandma, and speaking badly about my grandfather on my mom’s side who died. Also, no one actually needs any money they all have their own houses.
I am one of the people taking care of her because she won’t allow a health care worker to help her. For the simple reason of me taking care of her as well, I think I should have a right to express my opinions.
Anyways we went on a trip.
My parents and I took care of her. I would handle menial tasks like cleaning up vomit, feeding her, convincing her to eat, and trying to make sure she wouldn’t bother other people on the plane (accusing people of being a thief, etc). Once we got there we let her daughters there take care of her since they always have an opinion when we take care of her.
We had like a week where we didn’t worry because they lied to us about her condition.
Unfortunately, they have zero accountability and just want money so because they sold her medicine we gave them and my grandma had an infection from the soiled diaper we then started supervising them.
This trip was supposed to be for my mom to see her siblings for the first time in 17 years so I was pretty mad at them. Anyways we bought a lot of stuff and my grandmother did not say anything about wanting to buy anything for her friends or daughter in Canada where we live so we just assumed it was fine since we asked her and she said she didn’t want to give them anything.
When we got to Canada though she wanted to give stuff to her daughter. We didn’t have anything for that demon since that demon literally broke into our house and wouldn’t take its trash away. The only thing we had to give was stuff I got for myself since that demon’s size is close to mine.
My stuff was on the more expensive side since I found a good deal and the other stuff was gifts from my mom’s side of the family who had gifts for every single one of my birthdays and left money aside for them. I said no I don’t want to give that demon anything.
The only reason that was given was my grandma said we ‘had’ to. My grandma isn’t really nice to me or my parents so maybe that’s why I don’t really care if she gets upset for a few days over this. My parents are saying I’m heartless and not understanding.
It is her daughter so I guess it’s up to her what to give but I feel like she doesn’t have the right to my stuff like she doesn’t even say happy birthday to me why would I keep giving her stuff? Also, there is literally no other option other than giving my stuff so I’m not mad about the stuff.
I’d be mad even if we gave that demon a packet of ketchup from Burger King. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, don’t give your stuff away. If she wants her daughter to have something, she can buy it for her. Also, what is wrong with your parents?
They are trying to pressure you to give in and give the stuff away. They just want peace and quiet, not necessarily what is right.” pixelated_fun
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you don’t have to give your items away, especially to someone you don’t care for.
Remember though, that dementia can cause people to become mean. They can’t express their emotions as well as they used to so try not to hold that against grandma.” huskycatahoula
14. AITJ For Wanting My Parents To Stop Arguing?
“My parents had an arranged marriage 20 years ago, and as a consequence, they never got to know each other well enough to decide if their personalities worked well together. They’ve started fighting at least once a day this past year. And these aren’t even small squabbles.
Full-blown screaming at each other. The circumstances forcing my dad to work from home aren’t helping.
My mother has a very high-pitched screaming voice, and when she argues with my father she sometimes says stuff like, ‘you’ll understand when I’m gone,’ and ‘I’m going to jump out of this car into the freeway right now and then you’ll understand.’ And my father always uses words like ‘psychopath’ and ‘witch’ and other strong words.
I’m very sensitive to screaming and when people talk about death so the fighting has really started to take a toll on me. But I got used to the screaming as this has been happening ever since I was a child. My father gets upset over the stupidest thing and starts yelling at my mom, and my mom tries to ignore it, but eventually ends up screaming at the top of her lungs back.
It is almost ALWAYS my father’s fault.
On the other hand, after ONE argument, my mother has to scream about it the whole day. She’ll just start yelling the same things OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Ex: today according to my mother’s screaming, my dad got mad at her because we ran out of cheese and he had to go buy some.
We also ran out of naan (fancy Indian food) so he could only eat one with his food. He probably said my mother is incapable of being responsible with supplies because we ran out and yelled at her. I wasn’t there. I’m assuming he called her more horrible words.
Well, it’s been five hours since the incident. My mother is still screaming about it. Not even anything different. She’s screaming about the same points she has already made. ‘Obviously we’re going to run out at some point we don’t have an unlimited supply of food’ etc. She does it on and off for like three days after the argument.
Just the same random bursts of ranting about what he did. I feel like there’d be so much less fighting if she did the random rants less.
The worst part is that now that I’m older my mom likes to vent with me. So I have no escape when I’m around her.
She always turns the conversation to my father and how he’s wronged her so much (which he has) that I don’t even want to talk to her again. Screaming her rants at me. I tried to tell my mother about how her fighting affects me, but she always responds by saying I’m disrespectful and how I’m not the one suffering because she is the one who has to deal with my father.
I know all of this is true. She is the one who has a husband who pesters her about the stupidest things. But she’s also the one who is always screaming, even after the fight is long over.
So AITJ for wanting my parents to just shut up?
Or should I just try my best to deal with it because, to be honest, my mom has it worse with my dad and it’s none of my business if they fight?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Their marriage is their problem. Constantly exposing you to this type of belittling, hostile, threatening kind of arguing is terrible.
Trying to make you pick sides or listen to a hateful speech about your other parent is even worse.
If you’re in high school, try joining all the activities/clubs or getting a part-time job. Find friends with calmer households to hang out with. Good luck.
If you’ve graduated, go to school or work full time if you don’t already. If you’re in college, see about any counseling for students. Sometimes there are free or low-cost options. Find mentors and build a support system. Either way, try to move out. Much easier said than done, I know.
Good luck.” flaky-burnt
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Yes, this was my exact situation as a younger kid, not that my parents have stopped saying the same things, and honestly, at one point I just made them think I wasn’t there like I didn’t understand their dislike, I just made my parents think I’m not mature enough for them to confide in and while they still fight I don’t get dragged in it as often.
But definitely try to not be in the same place where the conflict is and make sure you aren’t reachable for the time while they’re arguing. So while there’s no solution for them to stop I think if you confront them about this the conflict will rise, so do your best to try and avoid it.” LucarioMaster151361
Another User Comments:
“Oh honey, you’re NTJ and I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s hard to give advice here for you, but it could be worth sharing – what they are doing is affecting you. Talk to both of them at the same time.
Your mom needs therapy for sure. But as a mom who is going through a messy divorce and trying not to let my girls see just how much I hate their dad, you are not being disrespectful toward your mom at all. Your feelings are valid.
If you can, find a therapist too. A professional will be able to help you deal with what you’re feeling and gain the tools you need to get out of situations with your mom you don’t want to be in.” curious_writer13
13. AITJ For Forcing My Roommate To Pay Rent?
“I moved in with a girl I used to go to high school with this year and at first she told me she was super studious, was only there for school, and was really excited to be living together and that it would be great.
Fast forward a few months and her partner was sleeping over almost every day of the week. They would be up till 5 am screwing things around in the kitchen and then in the morning when I’d need to make breakfast, the sink was filled with dishes that still had food in them.
I also lent her $400 over a period of time because her loan for school had not come in, and I wanted to help out. I kept track of everything on my side, but she didn’t keep track of what she owed me. I even sent her a breakdown as she was complaining she didn’t have everything.
She then got mad at me for not leaving paper receipts for her and said she was ‘legally allowed’ to view my bank statements to see proof.
To begin with, we agreed that we’d check before having people over on weeknights or near exams to respect the other person’s study time.
Despite this, she never asked me and just told me what was happening and always had people up who were loud and dirty. I also noticed that she started to copy everything I did… if my door was open so was hers, if I moved something of mine so did she.
She also tried to act the same as I did and listened to songs I showed her a while ago even while all the fighting was going on.
I had to shut the wifi off on her because she was withholding funds from what she owed me for wifi based on an item from months ago that she once again didn’t keep track of.
Fast forward to now, she has a placement out of town this summer and doesn’t want to pay for what she isn’t using even though she signed a one-year lease with our apartment company. Last week, her partner came to the place at 1 am and started using a drill to dismount the tv from the wall and took a bunch of stuff from the kitchen without even consulting me.
I also just got an email from her saying that she won’t be paying for rent and hydro starting May 1st and that she feels held hostage and trapped. Keep in mind I’ve found out she’s been fake crying to her dad about everything and he’s wrapped around her finger and she checks just about every box for narcissistic sociopath…
I told her she’s legally not allowed to stop paying and stood my ground.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but let this be a lesson. Never loan out any amount you can’t afford to lose. Now you’re in a difficult situation because you will likely have to take her to court.
Consult a lawyer immediately. Keep copies of all text messages she has sent you. Check with the laws where you are, but you could also install an app on your cell (if you have one) that records phone conversations. You need to make sure you check local laws on this.
Also to cover your butt tell her right off the bat that you’re recording the conversation if she calls. Make sure any further conversation about what’s owed to you is recorded in some way. Good luck.” Ratzink
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, OP, unless you have separate leases with the management company, you will probably have to pay her portion of the rent to avoid eviction.
Let this be motivation for you to pursue an ‘understanding’ with her that she needs to pay you the rent money every month on time until the lease is up UNLESS she can find someone to sublet. You should both get to approve of this person.
Of course subletting needs to be allowed under your lease.” pixelated_fun
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, I would just move on and find another roommate at this point, even if that means you have to break the lease. Letting her know since she refused to pay rent in the summer leads you no choice but to find another place that you can afford.
And if she decided to stay and pay all rent, good for her. Otherwise, not your problem if she got an eviction cuz no one is paying.” Aristo_qttw1021
12. AITJ For Being Mad At My Parents For Leaving The Oven On?
“I (26f), currently live with my parents for various reasons.
My parents own a large property with a camper and on some nights they sleep there with my sister. I don’t get invited to these and the last time I tried to participate my dad shunned me.
This is fine with me at this point as it has always been like that with me and my sister. Only this time it’s a little bit different because my sister is recovering from a Traumatic Brain Injury. So their focus on her is more important than ever.
And that’s perfectly fine with me. Despite the elephant in the room, my sister and I love each other dearly.
Now, onto the question at hand. My parents and my sister were going to sleep in the family camper as they did many times before and all seemed normal. However about an hour and a half, after they left, the smoke alarm in the house went off.
I ran down to investigate and discovered the oven was still on with a tin foil tray of something inside.
My first instinct was to pull whatever it was out of the oven, which was a tin foil tray so I could not make out what it was or what was inside.
When I pulled it out, the tin foil tray sagged and fluid spilled everywhere. At this point, I was at a loss because I had no idea anything was cooking in the oven. I placed down some paper towels and then went to knock on the camper door to see what they wanted me to do with the tin foil tray and whatever was in it.
At this point, I still didn’t know what it was, only that it was in a tray of fluid that made a mess.
When I knocked on the door and told them what happened, my dad flipped. He started screaming about how I couldn’t just let it be or just could get him when the alarm went off.
When I told him no one told me the oven was still on, the only answer he and my mother had was ‘We don’t report to you!’ Which I get because they pay the mortgage but is it really unreasonable to expect some notification when they leave the oven on in the building I’m sleeping in?
Especially when I don’t know what it is they’re cooking. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, that sounds strange and dangerous no matter what it was. I really wonder, do you cook in an oven, in a makeshift tinfoil container? It sounds like we may need McGruff to take a peek but I’m just paranoid.” Helpful_Candidate_92
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Basic safety precautions include not leaving an oven on and unattended. Like, that’s just fundamental good cooking practice.” GodzillaSuit
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your family dynamic sounds very strange. It also sounds like your parents don’t really want you there. Do you have a long-term plan to get out and get your own place?
This needs to be your focus. Get your own place and leave them to fawn over your sister as they wish.” pixelated_fun
That strange fluid could've been an accelerant of some kind, and OP not being allowed to camp with their family in the camper also raises some flags.
OP needs to leave ASAP and never return or contact their parents.
11. AITJ For Drinking Instead Of Seeing My Family?
“I (27F) recently got out of a long-term relationship with a 34M man. We were together for 7 years, and I lost a lot of myself at that time.
Basically, I had no sense of independence and I was more miserable than I knew. Since leaving the relationship I have run head first into every social opportunity presented to me, so when the opportunity came up to fly interstate to see a band I love, I took it.
Because of finances and short notice, I could only be there for 3 days (1. arrival/concert, 2. free day, 3. departure). Initially, I thought I would have time to see my family, but once I learned how far out my friend lived from my family I realized that it would be very difficult to see my two cousins.
They each lived 30-45min (opposite direction) each way on a train, and I figured if I couldn’t see them both I wouldn’t see either in order to prevent jealousy. Given how one cousin reacted, I think that line of thinking was correct.
I told Sarah & Lily that I would be too hungover to take on such a big day of train travel and catch-ups and that I would spend more quality time with them when I came back later this year.
Sarah completely understood and knew that this trip was quite meaningful to me. Lily was outraged.
She said I was prioritizing getting wasted over seeing my family, and that it was rude and selfish. I tried explaining my decision, but she kept saying that I was deciding that drinking and partying were more important than she was.
She then sent our texts to my dad and the rest of the family, and now the whole family is appalled (except my dad).
Context: My family and I aren’t super close, but good enough. Our grandparents both passed away last year, and I expressed to Lily some grievances I had with how the family was handling the aftermath.
She also sent those texts to the group chat, causing the family to not speak to me for several months.
I know she wants an apology, but I don’t think it’s justified. I knew I wouldn’t have time to see them, I couldn’t make more time appear (work/cat sitting), and I wanted to experience my first night of relationship freedom in years.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“The trip was for a concert, right, not to see them. Uh, why couldn’t she take the train and hang out with you in your hotel room or something? Or you know next time.
And her expecting an apology after sharing your private messages.
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. NTJ” empresslilandra
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
Lily has already proven untrustworthy. Why would you care about her opinion after she broke your confidence?
Hope the concert was fun, what you can remember of it anyway.” Facetunethis
Another User Comments:
“You led with the hangover excuse, that’s where it went wrong.
Next time just say there wouldn’t be enough time to see everyone equally for quality visits.
NTJ.” HCIBSW
10. WIBTJ If I Tell My Dad To "Suck It Up"?
“I’m (15F) not allowed to do most things like, cook, clean, get a job, or normal things kids my age do.
So yesterday I made myself a hot chocolate (which I’m not normally allowed to do) and I adjusted the dial (the water comes from the top, I don’t know what it’s called) so nothing overflows and so, this morning my dad woke up, made coffee, and got me breakfast. He told me that breakfast was there and so it began.
My dad started yelling at me ‘OP, don’t freaking touch the freaking dial again. I don’t care why and next time turn the freaking power off.’ (Except with more swearing and it’s not exact but along the lines). I want to tell him to******* up because I’m sorry that it wasn’t perfect, he just never listens and keeps yelling.
Note: This isn’t the first he’s yelled at me, and it’s not going to be the last, trust me I know…”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. At all. Your dad is. Your dad sounds like a control freak. It isn’t your fault that you ‘can’t remember things to save your life’ as you wrote in another comment either.
Your dad has created an environment that is antithetical to learning. You see, when you’re allowed to be independent as a child, what comes with that is confidence.
It literally doesn’t matter if you make a mistake when it comes to figuring out how to do things, that’s part of the territory.
We learn and we grow and we gain confidence from it. Unfortunately, a lot of parents don’t know this natural law but the science is there for the last decade or so. They think that their kids are incapable and try to control them so they don’t have to deal with a kid’s natural learning process which is trial and error and improvement.
There’s nothing wrong with you. Your dad is a jerk and hasn’t given you the proper environment to flourish. Chances are you struggle with self-esteem issues too. Now that you know this, you can overcome it.
I don’t recommend telling him to******* up. As much as it might feel good to tell him off.
It might just make things worse. You might be better off talking to someone you can trust or writing in a journal to vent and feel better instead.
I had a mother like this and I’m so sorry you have lived like this.” Technical_Captain_15
Another User Comments:
“You’re 15 and you’re not allowed to just make yourself a hot chocolate without getting yelled at? I’d phrase ‘******* up’ differently so that you won’t get yelled at more, but I feel like you’re running that risk anyway.” h4tdogchizdog
9. AITJ For Being Annoyed That My Ex-Wife Can't Keep To A Schedule?
“Three kids, 22, 20, 14. 22 just moved back in with their ex after moving back to town to get on their feet. 20-year-old is going to school and living with me, moving out in August. 14-year-old is with each parent for a week at a time.
In the last six months, ex has gone to Nepal (3 weeks), Alaska (2 weeks), and is currently in Florida. These trips always mess with the schedule and it stresses our kid out, not to mention mess with my life.
I’ve gone from trading days to just keeping him when she is gone so he knows he is ALWAYS with me when he should be.
She texted me tonight to let me know she won’t be home tomorrow and when she should get him back. She’s flying around Florida with a friend and the flight she had a standby seat on is now full. I had plans Sunday so it doesn’t just mess with his schedule.
I was going to be gone overnight and now I’m not going because I’m not leaving him at one of our houses with both parents at least a few hours away. Yes, the older siblings could definitely keep an eye on him. I’m just sick of having to deal with her inability to be there for our kid when she is supposed to be and leaving it to me to make sure he is okay.
Am I overreacting?
EDIT: just so it’s clear, this isn’t about me having our youngest too often or anything like that. I’d love it if he chose to live with me all the time, though I’ve made it clear to him that if he’s not happy at EITHER home he can go where he wants.
This is about an agreed-upon schedule that she cannot stick to. Her decision to travel so often, and assume our son can just stay with me because I will modify my schedule for her, and deal with the stress it causes our son is the issue.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Do you have a court order designating parenting time? If not, get one. When she doesn’t follow through on her responsibilities as a parent take her back to court for Enforcement of Parenting Time. At the very least the judge will listen to your requests regarding making these issues easier on you, including granting you more parenting time so you can adequately plan around your own parenting time or imposing consequences when she does things like this.” 3tzamani
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.
She definitely needs to be more responsible with her schedule and let you know beforehand when she will and will not be home or be away. I can understand a stand-by flight being full, though, that’s not really in her control.
OP… I mean, do you even like having your kid around? You sound like you’re sick of having your kid there and having your schedule tied up with watching your own kid, and you can’t wait to give him back to his mom.
As long as she’s taking trips that are planned out and communicated to you in advance, why is it such a problem for you to have your own kid with you for an extra week?” QuackLikeMe
Another User Comments:
“NTJ and I’d talk with her (without your kid there) and let her know that her trips are stressing your child out, so she needs to either schedule trips in a way that doesn’t negatively impact your son or you will look into petitioning to revise the custody agreement so that you have primary custody so that your son will always be able to count on a schedule.” ProfPlumDidIt
8. AITJ For Always Fighting With My Dad?
“I (17 female) was in the car heading back from Milton Keynes with my dad (30 male) because I had gone to go stay with a couple of relatives of mine.
I had recently gotten my hair done and the tingling/painful sensation surrounding my head was too much, so, I decided to pull out my bonnet from my bag.
As soon as my father saw this he said to put it back into the bag as you only sleep with it, so I argued back that since we’re only in the car and nobody will be looking at me that I should just put it on.
Now I know he only said this as my auntie had brought up the fact I was wearing it at the time and I should take it off so he must have been paying attention to what she was saying, it was a back-and-forth argument between us until I decided to just place it on my head and plug in my air pods.
Of course, he notices this so he raises his voice at me to again take it off more harshly and I said no. With his free hand, he grabbed the bonnet in an attempt to put it back in the bag but I hung on and pulled it away from him.
He practically shouted at me to take it off and I shoved it back into the bag. I told him about how stupid it was that he couldn’t control my decisions but he practically shrugged it off and continued driving. I still grumbled about it the whole ride and didn’t pay attention to him even when he apologized. It may seem silly but it’s just the kind of thing we argue about.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. he makes no sense to me… it’s your head, your bonnet, regardless if you were in public or not. And even then you weren’t. I’m seriously confused as to why he would care so much about you wearing it.
It didn’t seem like this fight was your fault. It’s your dad getting into a fight with you, not the other way around.” madsthegamer13
Another User Comments:
“NTJ… your father physically tried to remove your bonnet from your head while driving… he’s all sorts of insane.
You know about your hair care better than he does.
You were in an enclosed space, no one’s gonna be looking at you.
Your aunt has no business telling you what you can and can’t wear.
Your father chose to get angry at you for a minor reason.
Your father became a very reckless driver when he physically fought with you over a BONNET.
Your father could have swerved into oncoming traffic… he could have killed you both over a bonnet.” User
7. AITJ For Being Annoyed At What My Friend Said To My Ex?
“I went out with my now ex for 5 years, and he sneaked behind my back after telling his family we’d broken up.
I told the girl he had an affair with about the situation, and she told me they broke up.
My ex showed up at my apartment while I wasn’t there, so my roommate was the one who spoke to him. He thought I was having an affair with her, so he doesn’t like her.
Apparently, he was going off on one, like shouting and going on about how I’d ruined his life. He said his other ex (the girl who he had an affair with) won’t take him back and it’s my fault. Don’t worry, I know I’m not a jerk for that and I’m glad she turned him down.
My friend told him to go screw himself. And if she left it there, I would never be mad at her. But she said that she’d just started yelling at him, and she has a bit of a temper and when she gets worked up she just says whatever she’s thinking, with no filter.
She said she pretty much ripped him a new one, and this included telling him that she wishes all those years ago I’d gone out with her instead of him because he was the one who’d ruined my life and that she never would’ve done this to me.
He asked if I’d ever two-timed him with her and instead of saying no she told him that it didn’t matter. This has pretty much convinced him that I was two-timing him with her. She said he called both of us s***s and took off.
To be honest, I’m glad she told me because she could’ve easily never told me that he’d shown up. We had a huge argument because now he thinks he was completely justified for what he did when I know that he wasn’t. I just don’t know why she wouldn’t say ‘no she wasn’t unfaithful to you’, especially when it’s the truth.
I’m not sure if it’s some kind of weird power move or if she just wanted to mess with him to get back at him. She’s annoyed at me for still caring about what he thinks, and now she’s also mad at me because she thinks this means I still have feelings for him and that I’ll go back to him.
But I’m angry that now he might just go on and do this to someone else, and continue to justify it with ‘oh she might be fooling me’. We didn’t really come to any kind of resolution, so I guess we’re still in the argument?
Am I a jerk for yelling at her and still caring what he thinks, or is she the jerk for not completely shutting down the idea that I’d ever sneaked behind his back?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – But, I don’t think your roommate intended to cause more drama.
Honestly, if someone showed up at my house shouting at me, I’d be likely to shout back whatever it was that would make them leave. Likely just said in the heat of the moment. I’d tell her it bothered you but I think it’s a forgivable sin.” User
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here – he would have felt justified in what he did regardless, and if she’d said no he wouldn’t have believed her. Ex doesn’t sound like the kind of person who’s looking for some deep introspection. One conversation with a person he hates wouldn’t have changed whether or not he repeats his behavior.
Your friend told the truth, it really doesn’t matter, you already told him and he didn’t believe you. His accusations don’t justify a response.
Who cares what he thinks? YOU know his actions weren’t justified. And YOU and your friend know you didn’t lie. Focus on your growth and cut your friend some slack for lashing out.” MelodicCarpenter7
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It devolved into an argument between her and him. Oftentimes, the things we say during an active argument come out as a jumbled mess. I’m sure she didn’t intend for it to come out as almost a justification for his insecure thoughts.
Hopefully, you and your friend will move past this!” XVX_Vandal_XVX
6. AITJ For Eating Instead Of Helping In Cleaning?
“I’m (nb18) in a culinary class in high school with a friend of mine (f18).
We sit at the same table in the same ‘kitchen’ (basically like having a lab group) and recently made sliders yesterday during class. The day before, our teacher helped us use a griddle which he explained a bit about how to clean ON TOP but none of us knew how to take the griddle apart because he never showed us.
There was a guy in my kitchen who was cooking the meat and we took the ones that were done off the griddle and gave them to the rest of the group members (3 not counting me and him) except the last pieces needed a little more cooking so I told him to take the cooked ones and eat and I can finish the rest of the meat while they ate since it wouldn’t take too long.
I finished mine so I took them to eat as everyone else finished and went to clean. Since I wasn’t going to be cleaning while I ate.
After I finished, I scraped the gross grease and crumbs and burnt cheese off the griddle into the little slot that was made for grease and dry bits to go into.
Anyways, the 2 girls that first finished in my group (another girl plus my friend) went to go clean the griddle.
The other girl asked me if I knew how to take the griddle apart and I said not really, all I know is that you pull the sides out and it can be cleaned that way because again, he never told us how to properly clean the grease from there.
My friend went to help since she was also doing dishes and then asked me again ‘op can you show us how to take it apart?’ I repeated what I said before, adding: but if you need help maybe ask the teacher. I assumed since they didn’t go ask, they got it so I didn’t need to help and could finish eating like they did, right?
At lunch, my SO asked us how it went she said it was fine ‘except sOmEoNE was slacking off’. Now at first, I thought she was joking because I know I sure wasn’t. She explained saying ‘we tried getting the crumbs out of the grease hole but op put them in there when they weren’t supposed to go in there’ or something along those lines.
I remember I asked her at the time that I scraped it in if they were supposed to go in and she replied I’m not sure, meaning she didn’t know. So I sat there while she complained to our friends, smiling the whole time and saying this whole experience in a passive-aggressive way.
I didn’t want to say anything at the time because I had a lot of things I wanted to ask and say but if I did I would’ve regretted it. Now I can’t get this out of my head because I think too much.
The part I’m most upset about is that instead of saying something after cleaning, straight to me she decided to complain in front of everyone saying things like ‘but it’s alright, I forgive you’ as if it’s something she needs to forgive me for’.
I understand where she’s coming from but still, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If they didn’t know, they should have asked the teacher. Your friend doesn’t sound like the nicest person if she’s being passive-aggressive and airing any grievances she has against you in a group setting like that.” xpotential31
5. AITJ In My Leasing Dilemma With My Best Friend?
“I (22F) have been best friends with we’ll say Rachel (23F) for over seven years. I’ve been trying to live with her since we began college.
She never wanted to room with me because she said she was embarrassed about her Crohn’s. I live in an apartment now with my SO, sister, and friend. We were all going in on a house and I invited Rachel to join us. She put down the deposit with us beginning of January and we didn’t sign the lease because of us annotating it for the landlord.
I ended up putting down an additional $1800 safety deposit so all of our friends could keep their pets.
About a month ago, we had a big fight. I won’t say what it was about, but I said some mean things. I have RSD (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) and everything seems like the end of the world (which is my bad and I’m continually working on it).
We both had panic attacks. We met up later that night and apologized to each other.
Two days later, she said that she thought about it and she doesn’t forgive me and made me apologize for each mean thing I said. I did. She said she doesn’t want to live with me anymore.
I begged her to reconsider. She said she needed time to reconsider and said she needed two weeks. She also told me she had concerns now that don’t make sense. I said that I would give her two weeks but that she should tell everyone her concerns so we could talk it out before she made a decision.
She said she would that week. It got to three weeks and I texted her saying that next week was a month and asked if she’d like to tell everyone her concerns this week and if she could talk to me next week, but she said she’d do both next week.
Throughout the week she never mentioned it.
Finally, she came over and I asked her when she was going to tell everyone her concerns. A couple of minutes later she brought everyone in and said she wasn’t going to live with us because of her concerns and saying her dog would be lonely and it was causing her anxiety to move.
She also said we said before that we could afford it without her so it should be fine (we said that at the beginning until we figured out all of the costs and I’ve told her a couple of times the past couple of months that that is not the case anymore).
I tried to talk to her but she didn’t seem to want to talk about it so I said thank you for telling us the truth and she said she was going to leave and left.
She promised she’d talk about her concerns with everyone before she’d make her decision.
It’s now a month before we move in. And it’s too late to find another place or find anyone. I think she just changed her mind and is trying to find any way to justify it. She also says that I haven’t been a good friend.
No out-of-pocket mean things about Rachel, please.”
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.
She shouldn’t have delayed for a month telling you her decision. She needed to make it and communicate it when she said she would if not sooner.
But you said ‘some mean things’.
And I’ve been on the receiving end of RSD – in my experience with RSD, those mean things can get real mean. You gave each other panic attacks.
She told you she doesn’t want to live with you anymore, for a very good reason, and you pushed it.
You should have taken her at her word, and if she hadn’t given you a different decision after a month you should have been assuming that she was not going to live with you.
Given her anxiety and your RSD, I can imagine that she would have found it quite hard to tell you again what she already told you and you did not accept – that she doesn’t want to live with you, considering that could have triggered your RSD and led to more bad things said.
You have a month, you can still find someone else.” Left-Car6520
4. AITJ For Snapping At My Sister For Touching My Late Dad's Box?
“My dad passed away last year. I (15 male) have a box where I keep all of his stuff that I have in there. In the box are some of his shirts, toys he gave me when I was younger, pictures, some candy he liked, and letters that I write to him whenever I feel bad.
I keep his box under my bed.
One day when I wasn’t in my room my sister (6) went through his box and ate his candy. When I found out I broke down crying and screaming. (I know this may seem like I was overreacting. This happened a few weeks after he died and I wasn’t really mentally stable at the time.) She also went through some paint sets he got me.
My mom was saying that was being mean to her and that I can always buy more candy. I was more upset that she even touched his box. It felt like she was disrespecting him, kinda.
Before you guys say she’s young. No this is not your average 6yo.
(I mean that in the nicest way possible.) She’s smart for her age and knows right from wrong. My siblings and I don’t have the same dad. I only have one full sibling and that’s my brother. All my siblings are aware that my dad passed and know about the box.
I now keep his box in my closet. Please tell me AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. You were mourning your dad, and now you’re mourning the violation of the box. But your sister, smart though she is, and knowing right from wrong, is still morally undeveloped. You don’t owe her an apology, but you could be the good big brother and offer her one anyway.
And a hug, too, if she’ll take it.” billlevansatmariposa
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but would be if you treat your sister poorly for it. I understand being super upset by it but even if she is super smart she is still young. Kids that age might seem super smart sometimes but they are still going to get in trouble and do things that shouldn’t have.
My 9yr old is smart too but still does things she shouldn’t.” Ashamed-Age3450
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.
Smart intellectually doesn’t mean smart emotionally. And kids still mess up.
Once you’ve cooled down it’s probably a good idea to sit down with her and tell her you’re sorry that you yelled, and explain why that box is so precious to you, and why that candy meant so much.
Maybe the two of you can go out and buy some more of your Dad’s favorite candy and eat it together?
Your mom, though, I’m not too impressed with her lack of compassion. If anyone is the jerk, she’s pretty close to it.” Decent_Ad6389
3. AITJ For Not Wanting To Talk To My Sister?
“My (20F) youngest sister (11F) and I got into a fight a couple of months ago and the outcome is I won’t have a full conversation with her.
I work the standard 8 hours a day but five days out of the week I’m working 14 hours straight due to me having a full-time and a part-time job.
I had gone home between jobs to change and ended up running behind schedule so I asked my youngest sister to do something for me that needed to be done but I didn’t have time to do.
She did her standard ‘no it’s not my job’, so I asked again while running around grabbing my things and trying to explain I was late. Had she just said no it wouldn’t have been a problem but it’s what she said after that.
She told me she wouldn’t help me because while she was still in school (5th grade) I was just a useless high school dropout who won’t be able to do anything but work all the time.
I had actually stopped dead in my tracks to have her repeat herself and she said the same thing. I didn’t respond I just left. I dropped out of high school due to four concussions and major health issues, I’m trying to get my GED but I’m struggling.
After that, I didn’t talk to her for about a month with the exception of saying good morning, goodnight, and love you, I still do but I can’t converse with her beyond that. I finally managed to have a conversation with her but it ended in us fighting and I told her I was done, she left me alone for about 5 minutes before she came down to apologize.
I told her I don’t want an apology because she doesn’t mean it, she went off to tell me how I’m an awful big sister and how she wishes we weren’t related and that I’m a freak (I have Tourette’s).
Later when my mom got home my little sister told my mom I was ignoring her and so my mom demanded an explanation, I told her my side of the story after that she told me I needed to grow up and be an adult and that she’s only acting like that because she’s being bullied at school.
I told my mom that’s not an excuse for her behavior and that I was bullied my whole life and I didn’t act like that if anything I became reserved. She said she didn’t care and that I need to ‘grow up.’ So not only am I not talking to my sister there’s a very fine line between my mother and me.
I’ve honestly given up at this point and now everyone but my oldest sister and brother are saying I’m a jerk for being ‘petty.’
So AITJ in this situation?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your sister is just a child, so she might grow up and realize she’s been a brat, but your mom doesn’t have that same excuse.
You don’t need to put up with your sister’s ill-informed takes on your life, and she doesn’t get to call you a freak for something you cannot control. Allowing her to continue that behavior only enables her to continue to grow up as a trashy person.
Hold your boundaries. If she cannot treat you like a human being, you don’t have to engage with her beyond basic greetings.” Ana_Rampage
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.
I understand your point here completely. However, your sister is 11. At that age, her brain has a long way to go to develop.
This means that she likely doesn’t quite grasp the emotional repercussions of what she is saying. Secondly, her getting bullied is a big deal.
Just because she is handling it differently than you did, does not diminish it.
I’m not excusing what she said. But closing off communication isn’t the answer either.
There is a good chance that what she is saying, is repeats of things she herself has been told.
Maybe trying to figure out some root causes would be more productive.” Goober684
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You’re right to be upset, and your emotions and feelings on this are more than valid.
I just ask you to remember she is an 11 yr old child, and developmentally she doesn’t fully have the ability to empathize and see things from your perspective. It sounds like you’re working ridiculously hard to succeed in life despite having so many obstacles thrown your way, so be proud of yourself for that.” padfootl0ve
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. So you got mad that she wouldn’t do you a favor and asked her again more rudely. She made a mean comment so you ignore her, she comes to you and apologizes and you tell her her apology isn’t real and refuse to accept it.
Your mom is right you do need to grow up.” Key-Sheepherder3355
2. AITJ For Telling A Woman Her Dog Is Not Happy?
“I was at an event today and met a woman there with a spaniel-type dog. It was really timid and visibly unhappy to be there, so I hesitated before offering my hand for inspection.
‘Oh it’s okay, she just doesn’t like children or other dogs.’
Well, no b****y wonder she was unhappy. There were children and dogs everywhere. It was a family-friendly event after all. And not all the children were asking before running up to the dogs, and some of the dogs were walking their owners.
‘Maybe you shouldn’t have brought her then, she’s not happy here.’
The woman huffed and pulled her dog away. I didn’t see them again, so maybe I made her go home with my comment.”
Another User Comments:
“No jerks here? I have an anxious dog myself, and I would never ever bring her to a place where her triggers are (for my dog it’s people in general and kids).
I get that when you have a dog you wanna go out and socialize with other dog people. But when your dog has behavioral issues and shows clear signs of distress – then you really gotta stop and put your dog first instead of yourself.
An anxious dog is an insecure dog, and all it would have taken was the wrong dog or child to approach that woman’s dog for it to react negatively.” User
Another User Comments:
“YTJ. It doesn’t matter if being there wasn’t proper socialization for the dog.
It’s unsolicited advice to a stranger. Unless you can construe that the owner bringing the dog there is abusive you shouldn’t have said this so plainly (maybe if you worded it as a suggestion or a concern rather than a judgment).
Imagine if this was a child and you just told their mother that her parenting was bad to her face.
If the behavior of the dog was severe enough that you would consider it being there abusive in and of itself, then a statement like this is understandable. Otherwise, this is just kind of disrespectful.” RedRabbit37
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you brought up a reasonable suggestion.
But most dog owners, including those who commented on you being the jerk, are the ones who make the dogs miserable. Dogs are unpredictable creatures and the one in question could snap and bite someone. If it doesn’t like to socialize with a crowd of people it should be left at home despite another owner’s selfish desire.” AgreeableMonke
Another User Comments:
“YTJ
You don’t know the dog. You heard all of one sentence about the dog and thought you knew better than the owner. You don’t know the dog’s history or temperament, but you shared your unsolicited opinion anyway. (Unsolicited opinions are always on the jerk side of the scale in my opinion.)
Maybe she was exposing her dog so the dog would get more comfortable around dogs and children. Maybe she had specifically planned out how to handle the event because she knew her dog didn’t handle other dogs and children. Maybe the dog wasn’t there to look happy and be a pretty decoration for you to look at.” QuackLikeMe
1. AITJ For Yelling At My Mother During My Father's Funeral?
“My (29m) dad died last year. It has not been easy but my wife (26f) has been amazingly supportive and I can’t imagine having gone through this without her. My mother (59f) hates my wife and has since the second she met her because my wife ‘stole her baby boy’ from her.
I am low contact and only maintained it because I couldn’t see/talk to my dad otherwise. I do not subject my wife to her because my mother can be extremely nasty. However, I knew that I needed her to be at the funeral and she even offered to join before I asked.
The funeral was Friday and it was a complete disaster. When my wife and I walked in and were spotted by my mom she immediately started berating us. Me for having the gall to bring her and my wife for having no respect for a private family ceremony.
I was too stunned to speak because I thought she would have a shred of tact at her own husband’s funeral. Before I got my bearings my wife launched a counterattack. Asking how she had the nerve to say anything about family when she treated me and my sister so poorly.
Before anything more was said I yelled ‘both of you need to shut up and have some amount of dignity. How on earth can you make my father’s, your husband’s, funeral another event all about you? If you don’t want to be shut out of both your kids’ lives and see any potential grandkids.
Sit down and shut up.’ It was tense for a second before my uncle told me to show my mother some respect. This started a large fight that ended with a lot of things hidden from my extended family being exposed and me leaving early.
I realize I blew up at my family, but it was actually really cathartic to say the truth to someone besides my wife and therapist. My wife supports me but my sister said I went too far.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ your mom sounds horrible.
I would go no contact after that, that really should have been the one place your mom should have just held her tongue. Also, moms who view their son’s wife as ‘stealing their baby boy’ are the WORST. I have two boys and will NEVER treat their wives like that when they are old enough and get married. I cannot wait to have family dinners and spend the day baking cookies with them all on holidays.
Which will be a bit, as my boys are both toddlers, so I’m going to enjoy life until then too!” Ashamed-Age3450
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. Your mom for starting it. Your wife for responding in kind. And you for yelling at them there.
This wasn’t the time or the place.
First, I’m sorry for your loss.
I have always had a strained relationship with my parents. We’ve had many gatherings that have gone just like yours. I understand that your and your wife’s reactions were not in response to this one comment or moment.
There was a build-up and on a day emotions were high. You’re both only human. That said, you knew your mom was going to find ways to take digs. You and your wife should have gone into a situation with a plan for how to manage yourselves if only to make the day less complicated for you to navigate.
It’s nice that your wife wanted to defend and support you, but the way it was done made things harder for you.
I think it would be good for you to consider going no contact with your mom, and make a plan for how you want to manage other familial relationships.
Then talk with your wife about how she can best support you with what you think is best.” kamasgo
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. But Jesus. Man, I dunno. Best of luck, I guess? Sorry I don’t have more insight to offer, but you’re at least not the jerk here.” redlegion
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. Your mom for obvious reasons. Your wife for escalating by yelling at MIL at her FIL’s funeral. And you for yelling at your wife, period, and yelling at your mom specifically at the funeral. And your uncle and extended family for dog-piling and sticking their noses in it, also escalating instead of encouraging you and your mother to have this conversation at another time.
My condolences for your loss. I hope your family situation gets better, whether that means you go no contact or eventually mend the relationship between you, your wife, and your mother.” batmandi
