People Spill Their Guts About The Lies They Were Told
44. Husband Woke Me Up To Tell Me He's Cheating
“My husband called me up (sober) at 1 am in the morning waking our new baby and me to say he was about to cheat on me. Told me not to wait up… I did, then filed for separation in the morning. Now mind you I had been with him for years and loved him deeply but knew from my parents that once a cheater always a cheater.
I could never fix that break in trust and knew I couldn’t forgive him or ever feel like I wasn’t what he was looking for though he had never done anything close to this before. He cheats on his new partner throughout the relationship and then when they married. They’re separated now. Something in him changed when he met her… He even called me up to ask to give up all rights to our daughter that first year we split.
13yrs later I am happily married with a son now as well. My daughter calls my husband dad, gets defensive when anyone says her brother is only a half-brother. I still talk and go on vacations with my ex-mother-in-law. I have no contact with my ex but from what ex mom-in-law says he is a shadow of the man I married and drinks 24/7. I say nothing negative to my daughter about him but she feels he abandoned her.
I never understand people who are married and are parents but can be so self-centered, they tear apart so many people’s lives that are so long-lasting with their actions or for that matter the people who they cheat with who know they have families. I am not bitter or even hurt by it now but to see the hurt in my daughter’s eyes is like looking into a mirror of my 8yr self’s eyes.
I am really lucky to have an amazing husband who loves her like his own, who is a strong good-hearted man that sets a good example for her but I know she will have ‘daddy issues’ when she starts seeing men because I had them too once upon a time. So to you my ex, I wish you the best of luck but keep away from me and mine.”
43. He Backed Out When She Changed Her Mind
“Not my story, but my partner’s best friend’s story. I’m actually somewhat involved too since I exposed the cheating somewhat. A best friend will be Ann and her ex will be Ben.
Anyway, 2 months before their break-up Ben asked Ann to marry him. My significant other and I were excited for them as Ann was her best friend, and we frequently went on hangouts with them.
Fast forward to the breakup and Ann calls my significant other crying saying she and Ben got into a fight and they were going to take a break and if she could stay at my significant other’s place for a few nights. At first, I thought it was just nerves being built up by making their wedding 6 months earlier instead of the typical year. No, it turns out Ben called it off because Ann, according to him, was incapable of improving herself as a person and became way too emotional during arguments.
Apparently, he’s been feeling this way for about a year. Thus floored because why would you ask someone to marry you if you thought the other person had deal-breaker issues.
Continuing on, eventually, he unfriends and blocks her and all her friends on social media, for some reason I fall through the cracks. Two weeks later he updates his relationship status to going out with some other girl.
I thought it was strange, but maybe he was going out with this new girl for a quick rebound, but I took a screenshot and sent it to Ann asking if she knew who this girl was. She said it was his childhood friend. Ann decides to confront Ben about it because he didn’t change his phone number and he reveals to her that he and his childhood friend have been hooking up since high school and he’s literally cheated with her in every relationship he’s been in.
Why? Because she didn’t want to get married and start a family, but Ben did. Ben claimed as soon as he got married he would cut off all ties with her, but when she found out that he was going to get married to Ann she suddenly changed her mind and wanted to get married and have a family.
Ben’s family eventually disowned him as they liked Ann way more than childhood friends/new girls and thought he was a despicable human being for cheating on all his relationships.
I have not heard anything about Ben for a few years, thank god.”
42. He's Got A List Of Insane Excuses For His Cheating
“It was his birthday and we made plans that I would come over and we would have breakfast together before I had to go to work.
I start to unlock the door with the key that he gave me months back and he comes to the door in a panic and ‘sleepily’ says ‘you scared me.’ ‘What are you talking about I scared you, you were expecting me before work?’ ‘Could you please leave? Just leave.’ I look over and an ex-friend/coworker’s car is there. He said, ‘she just came right now to smoke me out for my birthday that’s all.’ There was frost on the windshield.
He had been cheating for months, telling her all the same things he had told me, and then tried to manipulate me by telling me he was sick and was dying, and that he didn’t want to die alone. Nope.
Sometime later, left a very creepy diary apologizing to me about how I’ll never believe what really happened. I ended up having to change my job because the other person involved let a good number of people know about the situation, how I am ‘derailed’ and a ‘man stealer’.
I automatically assume people are lying most of the time now. This experience has definitely put me off seeing anyone for a while.”
41. Too Bad I Don't Watch The News
“I was in a relationship with this guy for 2 years. I was really young when we met. I never suspected anything during those two years and things were perfect between us, or so I thought. However, a couple of days after our 2 year anniversary, he stopped responding to my texts.
It had been 3 days since I heard from him and I was worried sick!! Kept texting him and calling him, but nothing. The next day, I get a text from a good friend of mine saying ‘look!!’ with a link attached to it. I click on the link and what I read made me sick to my stomach. It was a news article with my man’s name along with a mugshot of him.
The title read something along the lines of ‘suspect finally caught by investigators’. To make things even worse, when the police went to arrest him at his home, he had another girl living there with him. He was charged and arrested.
I was so furious and just heartbroken. I remember crying that whole day. I just couldn’t believe this monster was my significant other.
I also had no idea how he had the time to keep a relationship with three girls at the same time! This guy was pretty much with me every day of the week. I wanted to confront him and ask him why, but I knew I shouldn’t waste my time on someone like him. I sent him a text saying that I hope he burns in the devil’s basement and that I never want to see him ever again.
My friend told me that she found out about this because she was watching the local news and saw a picture of him on there. She did more research and found the news article. She said she knew this would hurt me but she said that it was best that I knew about it. I never really watched the news, so if it wasn’t for her, I would have never found out.
I kept up with the case and the guy posted bail and was released a couple of days later. I remember getting a text from him after he was released saying that he wanted to see me and explain what really happened. I ignored him and he kept calling and messaging me. Ignored him and never spoke to him again. This event happened 6 years ago.
What a messed up way to find out someone was cheating.”
40. Wife's Best Friend Called To Spill Her Secret With Her Husband
“Her best friend phoned. She was very upset since my (now ex-)wife was having an affair with her husband.
It was early in the morning and my wife was in the shower when the phone rang. At first, I didn’t believe it but the best friend (who was also a really close friend of mine) had found text messages and had got a confession, so I knew it was true.
I happened to be really tired, having been working in my home office till about 4 in the morning so I just lied in bed and tried to take it all in. What I didn’t understand was that I had been really unhappy in my marriage for years and had often asked my wife about separating. In fact, a week before, I had very tenderly and gently pleaded with her to separate so that we didn’t waste our lives in a loveless (albeit very comfortable and friendly) marriage.
What the heck? I had given her a Get Out of Jail Free card! And she had thrown it back in my face. And! She was having an affair!
In the previous years, I had even asked her if we could have an ‘open marriage’ since we had intimate moments less often than pandas. She had said ‘No’! And now I hear she was having an affair?
So, I just lay in bed, thinking about this and when she walked out of the shower and asked who had called, I just said ‘Nicola’. She looked panicked straight away and asked ‘what did she want?’.
Looking back, I think that I was probably in shock – or else it was the coolest thing that I have ever done because I just sighed and said.
‘Nothing much …… long pause …… she just told me that you are having an affair with Paul’.
She then gave me a stream of protestations about her innocence while I lay there and wondered about the situation. Paul was a balding unattractive guy and his wife Nicola was one of the most lovely women I have ever met. In our friendship circle, we (women and men) used to joke that it was weird that the whole world was not in love with her.
So, my wife is going on about her innocence and all I can think is why he would have any interest in the grey, drab, humorless that my wife had become.
At that point, if I was angry at all, it was because Nicola was obviously upset.
After a few minutes, I asked my wife to stop talking and just go to work as I needed some sleep because I had to get the kids up for school in an hour.
Many years later, I am so, so, so happy with the most wonderful woman in the world.”
39. Caught Her Through A Translator App
“I was with her for nearly 3 years. She got a new job as a care home support worker for old people and she loved it, I thought it was great too as she didn’t mind that sort of work, anyways, she was there about 6 months when she asked to go on nights. I thought it was because she wanted more money, I was wrong, it was because there was another nurse there who she got friendly with.
She told me about him to start with as he was ‘just a friend’ however this soon escalated to whenever I asked about him, she changed the subject, this was after about 8 weeks of being on nights.
Anyways I knew something was up, so I did the thing you shouldn’t have to do, I went on her phone in the middle of the night on a day/night off.
I saw a translator app and I knew straight away that was it, he was an Indian guy, by the way, and she was translating ‘I love you’ into Indian. I woke her up, showed her her phone, and walked out, she turned up at my house a week later and I dropped the bin bag full of her things and shut the door. She has 2 kids with him now.”
38. Caught Three Different Women In Three Different Lies
“In one case (let’s call her Erin): her mother was confused when I came over to visit Erin, saying her daughter had told me we broke up and that she had been having one-night stands since. Her mother asked for forgiveness in Erin’s place. I confronted Erin, she wanted to make up with an intimate time, I declined.
Another case: (Karen) she wanted to send naughty texts and started about ‘nibbling around your tattoo like last week’, I don’t have a tattoo but her ex sure does.
Thought it was a slip-up until Karen started making up this weird story about how he had come by her place to show his new motorcycle. She confessed after an ‘oops text was for someone else’ type of play. Months later, my new significant other found extensive descriptions of the escapades of Karen including comparisons and a fictional story about how I had forgiven her and we were still together.
Another case (Nathalie): Nathalie said she was going to go camping with her sister. I ran into her sister in my hometown (they lived 30 miles away) by coincidence during the time said camping was taking place. It turned out Nathalie had gone camping with her ex, who she claimed was no longer into girls, but apparently, they still slept together, as campers do.”
37. She Didn't Mind That I Put Spyware On Her Laptop
“I was playing a game on her phone because my phone only had Snake.
Got a text from a mutual friend that was clearly not appropriate. She apologized and said they had talked about stuff but never did anything. To regain my trust and save our 4.5-year relationship she said I could check up on her whenever I wanted.
A couple of weeks later I asked to see her phone to take her up on her promise. Now I know she still talked with this guy on occasion because he was part of our close group of friends in high school and we specifically discussed that she didn’t have to ever talk to him again, just keep it appropriate.
Well, there was not a single text or phone call on her phone from or to him, even going back to before I caught her, and I knew for a fact that he had called a few times when I was around so it was pretty clear she was deleting any record of communication regardless of if it was inappropriate or not.
So to get final proof and resolve this once and for all, I installed spyware on her laptop that emailed me screenshots, emails, AOL IMs, keystrokes, etc.
In less than 24 hours I had a lengthy chat between the two of them chatting about their last naughty rendezvous.
I confronted her and she asked what we needed to do to get over this. I said it was over and she was genuinely shocked. I removed the spyware which she wasn’t even mad about, and called it quits.”
36. She's Texting Her Side Guy While We're Cuddling
“The first time she cheated on me was when I went on vacation to Asia for a month.
Her FB was logged into my phone because she didn’t have a smartphone at the time and we hung out before I left for the airport. I was trying to log her out of my phone when I accidentally saw a message between her and this ‘Danny’ guy, they were basically hardcore flirting with each other, calling each other pet names, and planning stuff out like future rendezvous and such.
I was furious, I screenshot everything and sent it to her best friend back at home and her best friend told me that she knew my ex and Danny have been hanging out a lot since the moment I left but she didn’t think that she would cheat on me. I got back from my vacation, confronted my ex about it and we broke up shortly afterward.
We were broken up for exactly one week before getting back together. It was difficult at first but my ex seemed genuinely apologetic about the whole cheating thing so I figured I should give us another shot. Everything was going well for about 2 years until she met Jeremy. She was working at a sandwich shop across the street from her school and she recognized Jeremy as one of her classmates.
I only know this because she told me the story of how they met along with the obligatory ‘you don’t have to worry about Jeremy, he’s just a friend’. That ‘friend’ was also the person that texted her ‘Hey baby’ when my ex and I were cuddling in bed together and that’s basically how I found out she was cheating on me with him. I also knew that she was sleeping over at his apartment pretty regularly because he lived on campus and she said it’s convenient for her to get to school that way.
As a bonus, I just found out about a moment ago that she cheated on Jeremy with another dude that she’s basically been crushing on since she and I were still together. This guy was in a relationship and his significant other absolutely hated my ex’s guts and wouldn’t let him hang out with my ex. It used to bother my ex so much that they couldn’t hang and she complained to me all the d**n time.
Maybe it’s because she along with everyone else could see that you’re crushing on her man you dummy.
I’m so glad I’m out of that mess, if my ex hadn’t broken my heart, I would have never met my current significant other and she is a blessing that I never thought I would one day have.”
35. Caught Her When I Left A Beautiful Gift In A Spotless Apartment
“Things had felt a bit ‘off’ in our relationship and I was doing everything I could to get it back on track.
I was going to be heading out of town for a big gig and wanted her to come home to something to show that I cared, so I came up with this plan.
The cleanliness of our apartment had been a big friction point, so I spent 8 solid hours cleaning the place to get it spotless. It was immaculate. After that, I had purchased her a beautiful dress, and some other gifts, and left them in a home-wrapped box on top of our immaculate bed with a handwritten letter inside telling her how much I love her.
Fast forward, I am 500km away at my gig, watching my phone waiting for that ‘oh my god it’s beautiful, thank you so much, I love you!’ phone call. I knew she was working late, so I wasn’t too worried until it was soon 9 pm. Then 10 pm. Then after panic calling her a couple of times because I was generally worried about her, she answers the phone.
‘Hey, sorry I’m so tired I am just about asleep, I’ll call you in the morning ok?’ ….. ‘Where are you?’ I replied. ‘What? At home in bed.’ She answered. ‘….. What did you think?’ I asked, ‘Think about what?’ ……… I flipped my lid. Asked her where she was and she kept saying she was at home, I said there is no way you are at home, tell me where you are, she hung up.
Couldn’t get a hold of her for 30 minutes, then she answers the phone finally and apologizes and says her phone shut down and wouldn’t restart. I know it was a lie and I lose my mind. Hang up the phone, consider sleeping with this chick who has been hitting on me all night but I’ve been pushing away, and finally just decide to finish my set, go back to the hotel and go to sleep.
I was on strata at our complex and close with the property manager so I ask him about when my fob was used the night before to get some more info. He says that it was used at say 10:45 pm at the front door and in the elevator, but then again at 11:30, only in the elevator.
I wake up the next morning and finally answer one of her calls.
I tell her that if she doesn’t tell me where she was and be honest about it, our marriage is over. She told me that she was over at her friend’s house talking about our marital problems and didn’t want to tell me because she thought I would be mad she was telling someone else what was going on (anyone who knows me knows I would never be mad about someone talking things through… I have no shame.).
I ask her about the second use of her fob and she says that she invited said friend over because she was so upset.
I tell her that if she swears this is the truth, then we should move on, go away that weekend as we planned, and try to make our relationship stronger.
A week goes by, and it just doesn’t sit right. My mind won’t stop playing this over and over and over and over in my head, so I finally reach back out to the building manager and tell him I need 20 minutes alone with the security cameras, no questions asked.
So there I sit, watching through security footage (because the timing on the cameras doesn’t line up to the timing on the fobs), and there I finally see my wife, holding the door open, waiting for someone. I fast forward, till finally, I see a man in a tanktop enter my apartment building…
I called her at work and told her you need to come outside right now and talk to me.
She tells me she met this dude while she was on a bachelorette down in Miami and that they hit it off. (that was the weekend I was at home taking care of HER cat who had become partially paralyzed and we thought was going to pass… Cat is fine, by the way. It was sitting on my lap right now purring like a god).
Anyways, that’s how I found out. Like an idiot, I told her I still wanted to work on it, organized some couples therapy, tried my hardest to keep everything clean, put a crazy ton of energy into trying to better our relationship, but it still wasn’t good enough. Finally, she said she wanted a month-long trial separation, I said I didn’t want it but she insisted. Two weeks into the separation I realized that life is pretty sweet when someone isn’t sucking the lifeblood out of you and told her I wanted to break up.
We sold our condo, moved out, and she has spent the past year and a half avoiding getting separated, and even after us agreeing that what’s mine is mine, and what’s hers is hers, last week she told me she wants $25,000 cash and half of my Registered Retirement Savings Plan… Pretty mind-blowing.”
34. I Know It's Wrong To Read Someone's Diary But It Enlightened Me
“I finally went through her phone and the text messages alone were vile.
She had cheated on me with easily 20 guys. I got tested a month after I broke up with her. The break-up was gold, I woke her up at 2 am at my place, and made her leave right away. Then I put her clothes and everything in trash bags and put them out for the trash pickup. She got there before the trashmen did, but I don’t care.
Then my aunt saw her diary in my room (which she would always get really weird over and ask if I read any of it, and if I did I was a horrible person) and went through it, and it was journaling entries about naughty escapades. On one page she said she met some guy and then slept with him at a park 3 hours later.
When I kicked her out she was angry and didn’t even say sorry or anything, tried making it out like I was being crazy (she did this a lot). Then when she got home to where she still lived with her mom she said she was sorry and all those things. Things went on for like 2 weeks with her trying to weasel back in. Then I stopped answering her calls and such, but then found a paycheck of hers, and even though she messed me up badly over a year’s time, I still called her up because it was a check for like $500 for work.
She ends up meeting me at my house with her ‘new guy’ who then proceeded to try and fight me in my yard. The worst was the weird dealership issues she was having with trying to get a new car. Found out through the diary that one of the sleazy car salesmen at a Dodge location sold her on if she trades her car in, AND slept with him, then he will give her part of the price off.
They hooked up (in my car, I’m pretty sure about this), and then the guy pretended they never had a deal, so she slept with some old car salesmen for nothing. Then like 3 years later she tried becoming friends with my little sister on FB to try and creep back in. Screw that. The woman was so crazy. She also never got along with other women.
If you meet a woman with any of these signs, run away.”
33. Butterflies In My Stomach Turned Into Knives
“It was 2 years ago. I started to get a weird gut feeling daily. I just felt like something major was off. I and my husband had been married for 3 years and just moved into a condo we bought together. He was working evenings in a restaurant and going to school at the same time.
It started off with him hanging out with school friends or having drinks with coworkers after work. For weeks I would wake up and have uncomfortable butterflies in my stomach, not the good kind.
One day my gut feeling was so strong I had to start snooping. I opened his Facebook on our laptop and there it was. He was talking to a friend from school about going to her place late at night and bringing booze.
The butterflies in my stomach turned to knives to my whole body. I was in shock. I confronted him that night about it and he confessed to seeing this girl and sleeping with her on a few occasions.
At that time I just got promoted and was working on a 4 week trial at work. I decided to continue the relationship because I knew that a breakup would destroy me and I didn’t want to jeopardize my work.
It felt almost easier to continue the relationship than end it. So I stayed married for 2 more years until this summer we broke it off.
Been single for 3 months and I feel like I have rediscovered my own love for myself. I was living with so much pain for so long that it was destroying me. Now I feel like I am worthy of so much more and I finally started to see myself in a different light.
My heart goes out to all those who have been cheated on.”
32. Her Friend Took The Fall For Her Wrong Sent Text
“We went out for almost 2 years, a few months ago now things were going well and I randomly got a message while I was at work from her. It was a screenshot of 2 people flirting through texts which she claimed at the time to be her friend/coworkers, let’s call her C, flirting with a guy on my ex’s phone.
Obviously, I didn’t buy it at first but why would you send me a screenshot if you’re trying to hide something right? I told her at the time I didn’t completely buy it and we had weeks of her breaking down thinking I was going to break up with her because I didn’t believe it, all I asked was proof, just get the friend to admit it, right not a big deal.
Well as time passed I continued to notice more and more sketches until one night she came home from a friend’s birthday party plastered. I tucked her into bed, got water, etc, and her phone went off (I’ve never been the man who goes through your phone or any of that) I instinctively just grabbed and opened it. I didn’t even have to change apps right there in front of me were proof and messages.
She had been cheating/going out with her boss behind my back for months. The screenshot she had sent me months back was actually an accident and she set her friend up to take the fall. I immediately woke her up (perhaps more aggressive than I should have but I feel it’s important to say I’ve never laid hands on her, and I never would have), and the first thing she did after realizing I knew was screaming that I was going to hit her.
At that, I said she had until morning to be gone and I left to go to my parents for the night.
The screenshot thing was just one example of red flags I should’ve caught on to. But guys, when you’re in love and you believe they love you back, what can you do?”
31. There's Really No Fun With Long-Distance Relationships
“Relationship transitioned to long-distance as she had a master’s program and I was entering the industry.
Initially went fine, I would drive to see her semi-regularly, we’d talk on the phone weekly and by text daily.
Soon phone calls dropped in frequency. Emails all but stopped. I pressed a bit harder on why and she took offense. Tried to plan visits to see her but it was never a good time anymore. I would have gone and surprised her but I knew she had a busy schedule and I didn’t want to upset her.
Meanwhile, I see a guy we knew in high school popping up an inordinate amount on her FB. It seemed a bit one-sided; she didn’t really respond back so it didn’t seem like a big deal.
Not a big deal, huh? Come with me, I’m gonna show you somethin’, and I don’t think you’re gonna like it…
Eventually, this dude says something too… familiar on her public page and I do something I shouldn’t… I break into my significant other’s email.
I find many, recent exchanges one on one with this guy saying how lucky she is to have him, that she loves being with him, all that sort of stuff. Nothing naughty, really. Just very heartfelt, loving sentiments.
Needless to say, I go nanners. The first thing I do is call her (she doesn’t answer), at which point I decide everything should come out in the open.
So I messaged the dude directly, not saying ‘step off she’s mine’ so much as saying, ‘We’ve been together for years, we aren’t broken up, so whatever you think you know, just know that we’re still together.’ Never got a response.
We get into a fight later that night, my significant other and I – she’s angry I broke into her email, while I’m adamant there’s no way she can take the high ground in this argument because she’s cheating on me.
She insists nothing has ‘happened’, and that I should apologize to the other dude for the message I sent. Not happening, babe. Even if nothing physical happened yet, you were checked out.
We spent a lot of time apart then but didn’t officially go to splitsville until we could meet in person a little while later. Turns out my message to the other guy had pretty much soured that relationship between them and they broke… whatever that was off.
There was some genuine interest in continuing our relationship on both sides but I decided the distance and the history was just begging for it to happen again so we ended it for real.
It’s been the better part of a decade since, and I’ve never trusted people enough again to get close. In downtimes, I wonder if I should’ve just stuck with things just so I had someone, though that’s clearly the wrong choice objectively.
Just no fun, all around.”
30. There's A Folder Full Of Another Woman's Photos
“My significant other started taking longer shifts at work. In the mornings, he would take two thermoses of coffee instead of one. As it went on, he would take overnight shifts (I later found out he was not actually working overnight but he’d have his boss cover his tracks for him). Throughout this time, we were fighting more and he was not interested in intimacy, and when we would try, he seemed disinterested.
It got to the point that I did something not cool, but I couldn’t help but feel suspicious. I will say he got more emotionally abusive toward the end and that’s how I justified what I did next. I waited till he was asleep and I took his phone with me to another room. He had all these texts to a male friend talking about a woman who was very obviously not me (a blonde, former pageant contestant).
But there were no texts from the woman, likely because he deleted them. I found a folder of pictures that was password protected. This significant other was not super clever and would use the same passwords for everything, which I knew since we shared a few accounts. I unlocked the folder and found a ton of pictures of this woman, his coworker, posing in something skimpy.
So I did what any sane woman would do and woke him up by throwing the phone at his face, demanded to know what the heck he was up to, and then left to go to my friend’s house to cool off. Wish I could say that was the first time I suspected it, but it was the only time I had real confirmation. That messed me up for a long time..”
29. I Should Have Gone With Her To The Convention
“She told me, sat me down after a weekend camping trip I didn’t get to go on, and told me. Said she met him at a convention and things kicked off, he was older. Married and kept putting ideas into her head about how what we had wasn’t important. I read the messages and lost my mind.
Told her to never talk to him again, begged her to be open and talk with me. That was November. February she was doing it all over again with another guy double our age who lived in Seattle, I only found out because she asked me if I had been snooping through her phone. I hadn’t but it made me suspicious, turns out this dude and I used the exact same descriptor to compliment her and she panicked. I found out and we broke up.
It was really hard, she was my best friend at the time. First for a real serious relationship and it sucked, I spent a year being emotionally detached and sleeping around. It was unhealthy but heck it was fun, I jumped face-first into a bad lifestyle. A year and some change later after going through an unhealthy amount of partners I found my future. I am happily engaged and moving to another country to be with my beloved, we see each other now about every few weeks and have handled some serious things that most relationships this young and separated couldn’t handle.
I have pings of jealousy and self-doubt but we talk about them and handle them.
I found someone who loves me as I love them for the first time ever.
I still hate my Ex, I loathe her and I don’t trust her at all. She’s a child and a snake in the grass. I’ve given her money out of pity a few times since we split, she knows she is a mess-up and I’ll always be happy about that I guess.
I hope she is eventually happy but right now all she does is go out with losers and burnouts who abuse her trust all the time.”
28. Polyamorous Relationships Have Their Downside
“The first time she told me over lunch at an expensive restaurant. We were engaged at the time. I had already suspected something was up with this guy, but she denied it. They worked together, and we had let him move in as a roommate for money to pay the mortgage.
The kicker was we were already polyamorous, and only had one rule. The one rule was to use protection. They had been drinking after I had gone to bed and slept together.
My reaction was I was angry, and I ended our engagement. Started thinking about breaking up with her and moving out of the house. Then a couple of days later she did the same thing with a random guy she met at a bar.
At that point, I broke up with her and moved out. I got my own apartment and started seeing someone else. Stupidly I didn’t completely break all contact. After six months I moved back in.
Next, she met a friend/co-worker of mine, and they hit it off. I gave them permission to see each other. We were still polyamorous. They fell into NRE (new relationship energy ).
It started going south within a few weeks when she had no interest in being close with me. At which point I told her she had to break up with him. They acted like they broke up, but continued to text each other. It was obvious. I ended up hacking her Android phone and pulling out the text messages database because she had been deleting the messages.
I found obvious conversations between them that took place post-break-up. They were talking bad things about me, and flirting with each other.
I broke up with her and kicked her out of the house. She lived with him for a couple of months. Later I moved out again and cut all contact. Shortly after that, they got married. I later found mention of a baby shower list in their name online.
So I am pretty sure she purposely got pregnant to get married.
A few weeks ago my current significant other and I passed them on the street. They seemed to be waiting for an Uber and didn’t seem to notice us. They looked awful. I have been working out consistently for years now, and look much better than I did then. So that felt good.
I have since realized she had probably cheated on me many times before that but didn’t tell me about them. Lesson learned, don’t go out with people dependent on the bad stuff.
That relationship had lasted about seven years. I am now in a happy monogamous relationship that I have been in for three years. It started off poly, but transitioned.”
27. Not Sure If Something's Wrong With Me Or The Women I Was With
“Significant other #1: 5 days after graduating high school I went to work on fishing boats based out of Dutch Harbor Alaska so I could pay for college.
While I was up there I would email her daily as this was the only form of communication I had with her. Upon my arrival, she confessed half-truths about how she had been ‘only emotionally involved’ with her friend who was a girl. Then when I went on a family trip and saw a different friend of hers, I was talking about the situation with her and she said, ‘oh she told you about Joey.’ Came to find out she was cheating on me with a boy and a girl and was partying the night away while I was working a lot.
After a 2-month lie fest, I had to talk to the guy about what happened and I messaged him respectfully with the understanding that it wasn’t him trying to hurt me for any reason. He was just looking to hook up but she was the one in a relationship and knew better. He told me how often they met up and exactly what they did.
Significant other #2: I was in a 2-year relationship with a girl who was 7-8 years older than me. She was 29-31. I was 22-24. She was EXTREMELY abusive physically and emotionally and I found out near the end of the relationship she was sleeping with random guys she met off the internet and other sites and customers at the restaurant she served at. I found out because she threw it in my face to hurt me.
I later found out she had cheated on me within the first 3 months of us being together with an ex. (the same guy she cheated on a partner of 4 years with.) She was supposed to get off work at the bar around 1 or 2 am but never showed up back home until 9 am while I was staying up worried and confused. When she came back home she was all giddy and lied to me about it saying she went to the casino with coworkers when in reality she slept with that ex in a hotel.
She told me the truth at one point when we nearly broke up 6 months into us being together and then told me she was lying about the situation just to hurt me. I found out much later when I finally did leave her that she in fact did cheat with the ex.”
26. Still Unclear What Exactly Happened During The "Great Silence"
“I had been seeing this girl for nearly three months at the time when all of a sudden she stops talking to me.
Couldn’t find her, she wouldn’t answer any texts or calls. I reliably texted and called at least once a day for the duration of that week, and once I had ruled out the silent treatment I began to get suspicious. Her home life wasn’t the greatest, and her dad was the human equivalent of the remains from a garbage compactor made of napalm. I was really anxious and worried, which was not good coupled with other stresses.
After that week, she texted me one long text, telling me that she had been working on her house that had some fire damage (which it did) and that she was unable to get to her phone. I was so relieved that I failed to think, ‘Hey, it takes five seconds to simply text ‘I’m not mad’ or ‘I’m not dead’ or her true sentiment of ‘goodbye”.
I offered to help her, I tried to get us time together. No reply for another week. One message after a week of silence, then another week. At the end of this week, I had made peace with what was about to come. Being that this was my first relationship in years, I gained more than I lost. She just didn’t have time. So we broke up, and I went about my normal life.
About two weeks later, people began telling me that they saw her with an ex during what I had begun to call the Great Silence. I was somewhat suspicious but realized that he was still close friends with her mother. A week after that, three close, reliable friends sat me down and told me I’d been cheated on. I was upset, this was the first time this had happened. But I made my peace.
I was done with the girl and moved on.
About a month later she sends a friend to ask if I hate her, being that she can’t text to save her life apparently, and I genuinely wondered why she had to ask. I mean, I didn’t hate her, but there was some anger. She tried to deny it, so being the good person I am I chose to see what the claims of cheating were based on, see both sides.
My informants told me their source, and he had conveniently forgotten everything, so I could no longer make an educated decision.
The guy she had cheated with was for some reason angry and trying to find out who had told me, even though the whole situation was only to his benefit. So I had my proof.”
25. My Nanny Ex Is A Constant Liar
“My ex was a certified attention seeker with daddy issues. When we first got together things were great. We clicked well and had many similarities, likes, and dislikes, and our personalities matched. Things were going great. So good in fact we discussed marriage seeing that we were planning on moving in together and moving to a new city for my job.
I thought I found the one.
I propose to her and a month later we move to the new city in our new apartment. Things started off great. A young couple enjoying their new lives together. Trying to figure it all out. Then I started noticing changes in her demeanor. Since she messed around in college and never finished, she hated her job as a nanny.
Just generally not liking how her life has turned out. She is a very vain woman. Looks and appearances were everything to her. Obsessed with celebrities and the vanity involved there. So going from little miss pretty college girl who has it going on to an adult woman with a glorified babysitting job wasn’t exactly something to brag about.
I started noticing her acting very weird.
Texting all the time, ‘hanging with friends,’ and behavior that raises red flags. One day I log into our computer. If you ever used an android phone you will understand that similar to the iPhone, photos get backed up to your Google account if the setting is turned on. If you log into your Gmail, you are also logged in on all other Google services.
So one night when she is doing an overnight at her nanny job I go log into my pictures to send something to a friend. I notice her pictures load. Realize, that’s weird that there are 3 naughty pictures here taken within the last week. Pictures that were new and ones I never received and haven’t in the past. I figure maybe it was old or somehow uploaded recently but taken a while ago.
Except I realize the shirt on the sink in the picture. It’s a concert shirt from one we recently went to. I immediately feel drained.
The next day I confront her. She goes on this elaborate story about how she meant to send it to me but accidentally sent it to the wrong guy on her phone with the same first name as me. Ask her to show me the messages but she said she deleted them because she was embarrassed. I stupidly believed her.
Not in the sense that it made sense but that I convinced myself that this person, my partner, my best friend, wouldn’t have the ability to hurt me like that.
That weekend I am watching my football team and during a commercial break, I bring her some food while she is on the computer. At that time a message comes across her phone and I can see it ‘I loved your pictures’ and she looked petrified knowing I saw them.
We had a huge fight with her eventually promising to stop doing it and how it was a mistake.
We move to a newer, better apartment. She starts to just be a horrible partner. Just unavailable and all about herself. I eventually find out she is flirting with another guy. I tell her this is the last time. Nonsense continues.
The final breaking point was towards the end of the lease on the current apartment.
We decided to move closer to the city and closer to my new job. We go down to the new area we are looking at and attend this big bash that a local bar runs every summer. Head down there with friends but she mysteriously says that her good lady friends are randomly in town and going to the local baseball game and she wants to go.
I figured why the heck not and let her go, they’re her best friends. She doesn’t come home until 7 in the morning. I knew something was up but I just didn’t have the emotional strength to fight it. I figured, what the heck, we are moving. If she was so into me she wouldn’t want to move with me. I must be imagining things.
The final straw was about 2 weeks after the baseball game incident.
The lady she is a nanny for wanted to go on a vacation but didn’t want to take care of her kid. So she goes along. Comes home after the vacation and she is again cold and distant. I see her again texting on her phone in a shady way. One night in bed she gets a random call and just has to leave the room.
So I sort of sneak out and she sees me. She immediately gets mad and I go back to the room. To mess with me more she called a friend and pretended that she was the one who called. The next day she gets another text and she tries to hide it. I took her phone right out of her hands. She starts flipping out and I leave the apartment complex and start walking to my car.
The whole time she is trying to get her phone back, pulling my shirt, and yelling. I told her she can make a scene like someone on Jerry Springer in the parking lot all she wants but I am sitting in my car and reading these messages. She says ‘well in that case I guess we are done’ and I look through the messages. Sure enough, she was talking to a guy she met on the vacation she was supposed to be working on.
In their messages, they talk about kissing. I immediately got out of my car, told her that we are done.
I took the cats, everything in the apartment we bought (with my money) besides the bed. She made it, she can sleep in it. I moved into the new place by myself. Told her to leave me alone. Best decision of my life. Now happily engaged to the woman I have been longing for my entire life just never admitted it to myself.
My ex is still a nanny. She is on her third attempt at trying to finish college and she moved to a new state doing the same things over again. I also found out through some Reddit snooping and luck that her new man is having issues getting it up.”
24. My Guts Were Right All Along
“A friend told me he heard about her sleeping with some guy at a party.
I confronted her about it, and she convinced me that it was just a nonsense rumor.
4 years later, her best friend accidentally let the truth slip. I confronted her again, and she denied it even with her best friend in the room insisting that she just admit it. She finally admitted it after an hour of interrogation. I should have kicked her out right there on the spot, but after 5 years together (and 4 since the cheating incident) I let her have a pass (kind of).
I never quite trusted her again.
Later that year, I decided to take an extended break from work and surprise her by picking her up from work and taking her to dinner. She wasn’t at work, and her manager said she wasn’t even scheduled that day. I went back home, nobody there. I tried calling her a dozen times, she didn’t answer. I used Find my iPhone and tracked her to some house 2 towns over.
Texted her the screenshot and said you better call me right now.
She of course denied anything was going on, and wouldn’t even tell me the name of the person whose house she was at. Tried to convince me that I was a piece of garbage, and I was pushing her away. Ran off with the guy and told everybody I was an abusive partner.
She told me she left because she couldn’t forgive me for putting down our dog, who was over 20 years old and had no quality of life left.
Thankfully, I have some awesome friends who had my back through the whole ordeal. I’m still good friends with her brother, who basically disowned her over it. Now I’m happily married to the best woman ever.
Lessons learned: Trust your gut.
If you really feel like she’s cheating on you/lying to you, she probably is. Don’t give second chances, just cut losses and run.”
23. Noticed Something On Her Neck So I Sent Her Home
“I’ve been in the military for about 3 1/2 years and I’m in the sub-service so being deployed and all I haven’t seriously tried a relationship for a long time because of it. Well, whenever I go on leave and go back home I always go out with this chick ‘M’ and she spends the night with me.
Well, we start talking and we decide to try out a long-distance relationship. Everything is awesome for around 4 months then we said she would fly out to see me. She bought the plane ticket, But I got a hotel for a week and was paying for all expenses for a week while she visited. So I drive to the airport to pick her up and it’s all great Right?
We get in my car and about halfway through an hour-long drive, I see she has hickies on her neck. I confront her and she says she got with a guy the Monday before she flew out (she flew out on a Friday). We get to my barracks room and I ask her to fly back home the next day and not stay for the week.
I offer to pay all expenses and she is crying and begging me not to do this. I stand firm and still ask her to change her flights. I then drop her off at the airport the next day and drive away.”
22. I Guess Those Two Guys Weren't Enough For Her
“Got a message on Facebook from some guy I didn’t know saying he was sorry to tell me this but he’d been at a party with my then significant other and had seen her get with two guys over the course of that night.
The messed up thing was when I confronted her about it she flat out lied saying it wasn’t true, I had by this point spoken to other people at the party so knew every detail. After a while, she admitted it then started saying she was going to tell me at some point but not right then as her birthday was in a few days?
(Great logic there).
What really got to me was that I had been speaking to her throughout the night when she was at the party and she’d been the same as usual and to top it off when she got home she started Snapchatting me wanting to have a dirty phone conversation… looks like those two guys weren’t enough.
Being the young, naive idiot I was I forgave her and tried to move past it, only to have her dump me a week later after I got very sloppy at a party and got too friendly with her friends (I was still upset with her, nothing happened with her friend I just guess I was being too flirty?
She wouldn’t specify anything and I was far too intoxicated to remember).
Really messed me up good for a couple of months and was right in the middle of my exams which didn’t end well… oh and as a final wave, I later found out that she was spreading rumors that’d I’d been the one who’d cheated on her.”
21. Good Friend Always Tries To Mess With The Men In My Life
“I was a senior in college.
I had been on and off with my significant other for my entire college experience but this was a long stretch of being back together. We had just celebrated Valentine’s Day the night before this all happened where we told each other how much we loved each other and how we wanted to make our relationship last after school ended. The next day I was using his laptop to print a paper.
This happened back when the MacBook just started to integrate iMessaging on the computer. As I was pressing print, one of my good friends messaged him ‘Still coming over later?’. I thought that was weird since I didn’t know they even spoke when I wasn’t around. And that’s when I clicked on the message and saw their whole conversation and how he had been ‘coming over’ for months.
I straight away told him I saw it and he yelled at me for invading his privacy. He didn’t even try to apologize… and that’s when we broke up for the final time.
As for that ‘Good Friend’… Well, I’m engaged now to someone 1000x better and that girl tried to sleep with my future brother-in-law. Not sure what she has against me but it’s a little weird, to say the least….”
20. Military Man Let His Cheating Wife Keep The House He Paid For
“A guy I used to talk to had a horrific story, but every time I mention it to someone who has been in the military, they respond, ‘Yeah – things like that happen.’
Basically, he was in Iraq as a civilian contractor for a couple of years. He made enough to pay off his house and then came right back home. On the day he arrived, he was greeted by a surprise party thrown at his parent’s house, which was right down the road from the home he owned with his beautiful, loving wife.
Well, after the party, he felt pretty tired from traveling, so he and his wife went back to their place. He showered, undressed, and jumped into bed. Right about the time his jet-lagged mind was finally letting him drift off, his wife finally came out about things…
Yeah, another guy had been living in his house and sleeping in his bed for basically the entire time he was in Iraq trying to earn enough to pay for said house.
That guy, in fact, was still in the house – hiding in the closet.
Salt in the wound – the husband was a pushover when it came to his separation. He let his wife keep the house because he just wanted it ‘to be done and over’. The last time I spoke with him, he was living at his folks’, less than a mile from his ex and the guy she was cheating with.”
19. If You're Gonna Play Dirty Then So Am I
“First time she cheated: She told me she made out with a guy at a club one night as a dare/joke/some other things. Claimed it didn’t count cause he was a dude. Which didn’t make sense anyway since she also liked guys?? I asked hypothetically if me making out with an unattractive woman wouldn’t count either, but of course, it did in her eyes.
The second time she cheated (I really should have learned after the first time): I was overseas, and she went out to a lesbian club. Our mutual friend was there too and ended up kissing my significant other at the time. Said significant other told me soon after and said she backed away as soon as it happened, I said it was cool, whatever, I knew our mutual friend had been on stuff that night so I wasn’t really mad.
But as we talked, she let slip that ‘mutual friend is a really bad kisser, you were right’ (I had made out with this girl like a year before, she was a terrible kisser, on stuff at least). I pointed out that how would she know she was bad if she supposedly backed off ‘right away?’ And that’s when the truth came out.
Then of course she broke up with me about a week or two later while I was still overseas.
Cheers mate. I’d feel like an idiot for staying with her that long, but after that second time I kinda just said whatever and cheated on her right back with another girl I’d hung out with overseas, and never ended up telling her about it. Revenge cheating probably isn’t the way to go about these things, but heck, if you’re gonna play dirty then so am I.
Feels good getting that all out though.”
18. She Didn't Come Home After We Went To A Local Show
“Back when I was in college, I found out she was cheating when she told me to my face that she was seeing another guy and had been for about 6-8 months while we were together (although only physically when he was in town or when she went to see him). Turns out her recent trip to Florida for vacation with ‘her family’ was actually her going to see that guy.
The relationship had started to dwindle by then, so every time I asked her to come over or to go out, I would be given an excuse. When she asked to meet for coffee I figured it would be for a breakup discussion anyways.
As a bit of an aside, this girl was a HUUUGE Blue Man Groupie. Went to all the local shows when they came through and was part of a group that got together to see them, dressed up weirdly to get seen, etc.
She told me she had been talking with a guy who worked as a tech on the BMG show and when they came into town I went to the show with her. Although we took separate cars cause she wanted to be with the large groupie group for the whole thing. I assume she went with him after the show cause she didn’t go home with me.
When she did tell me that she was seeing this other guy and was breaking up with me, she also informed me that she was moving to another state to be with him.
I was so concerned about the break-up being my fault or something I did, that I actually kinda just shrugged, said I wouldn’t be calling her anymore, and walked out of the coffee shop.
No real big loss on my end and I felt more relieved than anything
But it gets a bit crazier… a couple of years later, I see her on the AIM and figure, ‘I’ve moved on, let’s touch base to see how things are going’. Wow did I open a floodgate!
So she’s moved back to town by then cause the guy she left me for was apparently a possessive, aggressive jerk.
She had her family drive to the state they were in to get her. When they picked her up, they stayed in a motel before driving back and the jerk came over and tried to break the door down with a fire extinguisher. Now all of this was told to me by her after I just asked ‘how’s it going’ so I could only respond with… ‘that sucks’.
But heck if I don’t thank my lucky stars that I dodged a crazy bullet.”
17. It's Hard To Trust A Man Who Has A Lady Best Friend
“Basically my significant other has a best friend who is a girl. Shady things happen. I still take him back cause he cried said nothing happened. Then this year almost 2 years later I find out he was acting inappropriately with a friend. The next day our friend dropped the bomb he cheated on me with his girl best friend.
Well, he had a best friend that was a girl. At first, I was really cool with it. I said I trusted him and I knew her so I thought it would be cool. They had a common interest that I couldn’t really understand so I didn’t want to take that away from him. It started getting weird from there. She’d ignore me when I tried to be nice to her and ranted to my significant other about me being rude to her.
Um, excuse me I let you guys go to the movies with him alone, and to make conversation I asked how the movie was. His excuse was that she was weird she didn’t really get along with people blah blah blah. It just got worse from there. My family started noticing it and they really didn’t like it. My uncle even saw him and her in the same car together but my ex swore to me it wasn’t him and he was driving with his dad.
I told him I didn’t want him hanging out with her alone anymore and he made me feel bad for it. Saying how I didn’t trust him and how it was unfair that guys and girls couldn’t be best friends together. So I’d feel bad and guilty something was going on but he promised me he wouldn’t hang out with her alone anymore.
Sometime later I was at the mall, I forgot to text him where I was, and I see him with his ‘best friend’ and she walks past me without even telling him or anything. I asked him what he’s doing and he said he’s buying me a present with her. I get so mad and especially more when he never called her out on not saying hi to me.
He defended her and tried to laugh it off. I told him no he couldn’t hang out with her again.
Later on, the same uncle that saw them together saw them at the mall holding hands. He showed me a video and that finally made me realize he was lying to me. I tested him asking where he was and he said the mall.
When I asked him with who he said no one. When my uncle sent me videos of him walking with the girl. I was angry. I asked him to come over to my house to try to break up with him and he cried and he begged and said nothing happened, how she was trying to apologize for their fight, and how she tried to grab his arm and he pulled away.
I took him back.
I always had trust issues with him after that. And it’s funny how he was the one that hated being lied to. He’d never tell me anything and hid important stuff that happened. This was about 2 years into our relationship.
Almost 2 years pass when in spring break of this year he goes on vacation with our friends. I couldn’t go but I told him to go.
Turns out he was acting touchy and even slept in the same bed as a female friend of ours. But of course, nothing happened he said he never touched her and faced the wall fully clothed. I lost my mind. How dare he do that, he never even thought that what he did was wrong, my friend had to tell me after I lost my mind because I was so angry with him at a party for something else.
All my bottled-up emotions exploded. When I talked to my friend she told me everyone else on the trip noticed and they even tried talking to her about it but she said nothing was going on and that she didn’t notice anything wrong. I end up looking stupid for giving him another chance because he cried and said how hard things with family have been.
The next day my friend pulls me aside and tells me that my ex had cheated on me with his ex and some other girl. I was mad. I made him come to our school and I broke up with him and I made him tell me what he did. (still don’t think that was all of it) He even said my friend was lying and I had to bring that friend in and that’s when he finally told me the truth.
Oh and the whole sleeping with those two girls thing? Was just a guy thing he wanted to be cool. He said he didn’t sleep with them but how stupid could he be to think I wasn’t going to find out eventually.
I’m just so glad I found out but of course the whole I’m sorry, you are the only one for me, I’m going to join the army, I don’t care if I die thing happened. I said I didn’t know if I wanted to go back with him or not.
We went out for a few months where he made me feel guilty for not hugging him, kissing his cheek, or holding his hand. So guilty that I did it. Fast forward 4 or 5 months I told him I didn’t want to be with him there was no chance and he made me agree to talk to him for 3 months and agree we both wouldn’t see different people.
A week or so later I go out to eat with I friend I hadn’t gone out with for a while and I told her what happened. She says he’s talking to his ex. The one that made things so hard for him. No way. I told him not to talk to me again. His mom ends up calling me because he’s basically having a panic or anxiety attack.
I told to him later and we talk I tell him I never want to see him again.
And that was the story of my first relationship of 4 years. And you know what I’m feeling good without him in my life.
Also, he never let me touch his phone even when I just wanted to play games, everyone also knew apparently but he told them that he would tell me eventually, and I broke up with him in a very big scene in our university.
I told him the moment I stopped caring was the moment he would have a problem.”
16. It Was A Clash Between Sisters-In-Law
“Brother-in-law (by marriage to my wife’s sister) kicks out outraging wife who drinks too much and neglects their kids, etc., after being ridiculously loyal and putting up with an unreasonable amount of bad things. The wife sends the daughter to him (via police escort and protective orders) with a tablet.
Tablet is linked to her phone messaging app and contains a number of dirty texts between her and my OTHER brother-in-law (by marriage to my wife’s other sister).
Side note: this revelation was particularly disturbing because the other brother-in-law, although clearly full of issues before this came about, seemed like he would be interested in….. Less trashy women….. I mean, besides the fact that he was sending naughty photos to his sister-in-law, I never would have pictured him in a relationship with one of the nastiest, dirtiest, laziest women humanity has to offer.
My wife confronts other brother-in-law and is somehow convinced that he has since blocked trash sister-in-law’s number and knows it was wrong and nothing happened, yadda yadda yadda. My wife agrees not to tell her sister, although I wholeheartedly objected and let this other brother-in-law know that I knew and would not hesitate to make it public — and the only reason I didn’t right off the bat was the result of my wife’s pleading and ability to forgive quickly.
Legit victim sister-in-law and trash sister-in-law start talking after being estranged for a short time. For some reason, as a result of legit victim sister-in-law and trash sister-in-law speaking to each other again, legit victim sister-in-law calls up my wife because my wife dares to have a good relationship with their stepmom instead of hating her for no logical reason other than she isn’t their real mom (these are all grown women, mind you).
Somehow in inebriated logic (and even more confusing in logical, intelligent, rational legit victim sister-in-law’s mind), my wife having a good relationship with stepmom is the root of her drinking problem that isn’t a problem and we would all be the Brady Bunch without stepmom. In the heat of the moment, legit victim sister-in-law pushes all the right buttons and my wife just blurts out the whole trash sister-in-law and other brother-in-law love connection.
Everyone is now angry at everyone.
I’m just over here successfully staying out of it other than my warning to other brother-in-law.”
15. Three Women Did Almost The Same Thing To Me
“The first one I found out through my best friend at the time. I and my significant other had gone out on my bday and the whole time there was something odd about her behavior. That night my buddy called and told me she came onto him the other day.
The second significant other event was when she and I were out taking a stroll and a friend of mine called and told me that my significant other had made out with her man. Apparently, they had been at it for a while.
The third significant other event is kind of a long one. It started when she insisted that she and her best friend were having a girls’ day to which I replied ‘have fun’.
She may have taken this too literally when I later saw pics on Facebook that her aunt posted of them at the lake with a couple of guys. Mind you these weren’t random guys but guys we all had met a while back. Fast forward a little bit and she was having another girls’ day with another friend and I was wary of this. I had full right to do so apparently because I later found out that she and her friend had lots of drinks and invited one of those guys over.
She claimed he came on to her but nothing happened.
I really liked this girl so I thought we’d work it out. So fast forward a couple of months and this new guy comes into the picture from another friend. He obviously likes her and keeps trying to get with her. She doesn’t see this. One day during work she texted me and was all ‘I have something to tell You’.
Turns out after we texted each other good night the night before she decided to go out and play spin the bottle with some friends. It may not seem like a lot but I don’t enjoy my significant other making out with other people.”
14. 10 Years Thrown Out The Window
“My long-term relationship of 10 years, engaged 6months prior to splitting up.
She suddenly made a new friend at work. Went out with her once in a while.
Started staying out later and later while I watched our daughter. One night she came home inebriated. Climbed in bed about 2 am. I decided I’d see if she would give up some intimacy. She does. The minute we did the deed, I knew she had slept with someone that night. 10 years with that woman, I just knew. I stopped, got off her, and went to sleep on the couch.
She passed out. I was still kind of in shock, didn’t say anything. The next night she went out. I went out with my brother and we ended up at the same bar. I walked around the corner of the bar towards the dance floor, and she and a male coworker were hugging, they see me and left out the side door. She came home the next day at about 6 pm.
Saying she is going to stay with me for a month until she knows if she is staying or not, or can find an apartment. I kick her out right then and there. I called my dad up crying like a baby. The next day she came with 3 relatives and pick up trucks, took everything I thought I owned, and threw the house key at me.
She forgot a bunch of stuff in the shed. I and dad burned it all in the yard, then went to the bar.
In hindsight, I shouldn’t have burned some of what she left. I had nothing when I finally got a new place to live.
Her cheating on me was the best thing she ever did once I got over it. We had been together since high school.
Both had changed considerably in 10 years. She just figured it out first.”
13. I Virtually Followed Her Every Move
“After meeting in my country (she was down on exchange) we had an amazing, passionate relationship that neither of us expected at all, it just sort of became the most amazing thing we could have stumbled upon. I knew that she had to go home at the end of her studies, and we both planned for me to visit 3 months later.
I told her ‘you have a month back home and let me know for sure that this is what you want and I’ll buy my ticket.’ She cried at the thought that I was ‘uncertain’ and said she was hurt that I thought she wouldn’t want me.
After a month of her being home, she says she still wants me there, so I buy my tickets.
The next day, she starts a fight over not very much before heading out for drinks with her friend. She had shared her location with me on Find My Friends so ‘I knew she wasn’t being a liar’. So I watched her slide up to this guy’s house from across the world and then stop replying for a few hours before heading home.
Denial and excuses followed. Fast forward a couple of weeks and she heads up to the big city to catch up with a friend, does a bunch of bad things, and sleeps with a guy (again, saw her sliding up to this dude’s house on locations). Fast forward again and she’s out in the town, does a bunch of bad things, and sleeps with her ‘creepy boss’.
I got there and we tried really hard to fix it and to be honest it was worth it. She’s not a bad girl, she just has no self-worth and needs the validation that I provided.
Anyway, we patched it up (I’ll never forgive her, but I’ve learned to live with it, just as she has my indiscretions when I tried to carry on my way past it) and now we’re happily living together and it’s now even more amazing and passionate than it’s ever been.
I love this girl and we continue to make each other better by being together.”
12. Turns Out Everyone Around Me Was Lying To Me
“Had some suspicions after I saw pictures of her and her friends at a music festival with this particular guy who had been on a liking streak with all her FB and IG pictures in the recent past. One night we’re out in the city with some of her friends and we get back to one friend’s house pretty late, after 2 am.
She goes upstairs and falls asleep and I was getting a glass of water and notice her phone on the table lighting up with texts and Snapchat coming in (at 3 a.m.) from this guy.
Asked her what the story is with this guy, she tells me he’s just a friend and that he’s a firefighter who works odd hours and that’s why he was messaging her at 3 a.m. I asked her if I looked like an idiot and then dropped it for the moment.
She broke up with me a day or two later saying that she wasn’t ready to settle down even though she would talk to me weekly about how she wanted to get engaged to me and about the house we would buy and how she’d decorate… blah blah blah.
My roommate at the time was seeing her best friend, and my roommate had gone to this music festival I mentioned with them.
He left his computer open one day so I pulled up his chat conversation with my now ex. Sure enough, they were talking about this guy and he said to her that he ‘wouldn’t tell 1dwn5up because it was a conflict of interest’.
So not only was my ex lying to me, but my ex-friend was lying to me too telling me nothing happened and not to worry, and his significant other at the time was also lying to me feeding me the same story.
That all messed me up for a while, made it pretty difficult to trust people but life is 1000 times better now. I don’t talk to any of those people that were involved and I never will.”
11. She's Doing Secret Businesses With Her Exes
“My ex was really distant one day, and I had been asking what was wrong, and she wouldn’t tell me. When she finally did, turns out her first ex (I was number three) was trying to get her to send unclothed pictures of herself to him, otherwise, he would post ones that he had on his Facebook for the world to see.
The guy is a Marine, and what he was doing is illegal, so I was able to shut that down immediately. I guess he wasn’t stupid enough to mess up his career. Later on, I had randomly asked if any of the pictures would have had her tattoo on them. I bought her this tattoo on her hip for her birthday like a month before we moved in together the year before.
She had told me to block this dude and not to talk to him directly, and that sat at the back of my mind strangely. Had this itching feeling that she was sending him pics well after we started going out and they’d have that tattoo, and I’d know. She didn’t say no.
So obviously I was angry at that. Later, I asked if she was still talking to her 2nd ex.
Yes, she said. Asked if she was sending this guy pics too. Yes, she said. Asked if she had slept with him while we were together (I didn’t ask about the Marine because he was/is stationed in North Carolina). Yes, she said. Only once, two days before my birthday 4 months prior.
It was a messy situation, got worse. I moved 700 miles away a week later to get away from her lies.
While I was there, she started seeing this guy that my little sister dumped because he cheated on her. What. The. Heck. While they’re together, he tells me she had actually been cheating on me not just the one time, but all the way up until I moved. Turns out that was true.
That was all a year ago now. I have some major trust issues now.”
10. Sometimes Love Is Stupid
“It was Valentine’s Day. That morning after making him breakfast and packing his lunch he came into the kitchen and smiled and said, ‘I’m totally going to marry you.’ We had talked about it for the last 6 months so it was not out of the blue. I asked, ‘Is that a proper proposal?’ He said, ‘It’s a pre-proposal. Let’s go ring shopping next time you are here.’ I loved him.
I loved him more than I have ever loved another person other than my children. Our relationship was long-distance and I was waiting for my job to be transferred to where he lived. His job was very demanding and he struggled to take care of everyday chores so when I visited I cleaned the house, did all the laundry, went grocery shopping, and prepped to eat to pack lunches, etc.
He went to work and I went through my normal routine of what I did before I would drive home. I was dusting the desk when I decided to write a message in ms paint that he would see when he got on his PC that night. Just something stupid with I love you because it was Valentine’s day.
When I clicked on MS paint a picture came up of him in a white undershirt and no bottoms. I had never been sent a picture like that ever.
A quick click into the folder showed more images. A click on his Google messenger brought up a bunch of names I had never heard before and conversations that made it clear he had been hooking up with a ton of other women.
I crumpled to the floor and just was gutted. I wasn’t angry. I was utterly confused. This was a guy who called me on his way home from work talking to me the whole hour of his commute.
This was a guy who insisted that we have a video chat window open even if we weren’t able to be in view just to feel like we were together. We slept with the video chat open every night. I could not even comprehend why. I read through all our text conversations and text messages trying to figure out if I had been reading more into the relationship like maybe I did not realize he wasn’t into me and that I had been delusional.
I messaged him at work and said that I’m sorry that I wasn’t going to be able to take his laundry back with me this time and that I was going to put a load into his washer and he would need to move it over when he got home. I wanted to be angry. I could have easily been destructive and trashed his guitars, computers, etc in revenge but the anger wouldn’t come.
I packed all my things. While doing so I heard the sound from one of his messengers and it was one of the girls he had been with. I copied the message and sent it to myself and then messaged him with it.
I was too messed up to drive home. I had been married before and had a long-term relationship before that. I was 30 and this was not my first break up but I had never felt this level of hurt.
I rented a hotel room and turned off my phone. I knew he would call or message me and I did not know what I would do or even say. I thought I knew him. I thought we were madly, deeply in love in a way I’d never experienced before. I wasn’t sure I had the strength to hear what he had to say. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear him come up with a reasonable excuse so that I could somehow save a relationship that I was going to relocate my whole life over.
In the end, I listened. I tried to believe. I tried to forgive. He bought me a ring. My birth control failed. I moved and randomly stumbled across more of the past cheating. I asked him to delete his archives because I was pregnant and insane and was now obsessed. He didn’t. I created a chart of his cheating behavior not only in our relationship but in all of his previous relationships.
There was a pattern of self-destructive behavior. He wasn’t ready to face it so I waited. We signed papers with no ceremony and got married. I gave birth to our son.
I waited some more and then I sat him down and said that he needed to face this and talk about it. He explained that he was ashamed and felt depressed and gross about those interactions.
It was high-risk behavior. I suggested he see a therapist about it. He did and a psychiatrist. We created a safe place where he could talk about his feelings. If he was feeling particularly dark or felt the urge to cheat we would talk about it. He reached out a few more times to random people online. I always accidentally find out. We had our phones synced up so everything shared back and forth for a couple of years.
I mostly have trust in him now not to cheat. At the end of the day, I love him. Even if we don’t end up making it forever I don’t think I will ever not love him. It’s 7 years in and my heart still gets fluttery when I see him (he has gained a dad bod but it doesn’t matter). Is cheating awful? Yes. Did it hurt our relationship?
Absolutely. Sometimes love is stupid.”
9. I've Lost Count Of All The Men She Cheated On Me With
“When I met L I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. Fun, Driven, Intelligent, Nerdy, the very second I saw her I actually felt the world stop around me. It was insane because I always believed things like that were so dumb and didn’t exist.
We got together about a month before my 28th birthday. As it got closer she talked about all these plans she wanted to do with me to make the day special, but she did ask if she could stay the night.
No big deal, we had already slept together before and she had stayed the night so I found it cute she asked permission. A week before though she was talking to me about going up to Reno to meet someone named David that I’d never heard about. She wanted to see him before he left for deployment. She always talked about her friends and had NEVER brought him up before.
So I got jealous and being in the military myself I knew what to expect when a girl is willing to drive that far just to see someone before they leave for deployment. We had a huge fight and she ended up not going.
The night before my birthday she suddenly isn’t staying the night and ‘has to do stuff for my birthday’ this was told to me at 3 am while standing outside my house as she tried to give me my gift. I was inebriated and probably overreacted or was at least a jerk, but dark thoughts were already clouding my mind.
From then on she became more mysterious. She went from leaving her phone in her purse when we’d be together to never letting it leave her hand. She even slept with it on her side of the bed under a pillow. Eventually, I found out about Z through my best friend Heather. Eventually, Heather got suspicious and followed her on Instagram where L had been hiding a TON of posts from me about her and this Z guy.
When I confronted her she still tried to lie. I wasn’t having any of her lies and broke it off. A week later she comes back saying she wants to talk. She ended stuff with Z because it ‘didn’t feel right’ and I stupidly let her back into my life. Shortly later an unknown person from a fake texting number began harassing Z. Saying some pretty messed up stuff that obviously made it look like I did it.
Then L got the same kind of texts only hers were more from what would be Z’s side and my side. Both Z and I tried to blame one another. Tried to show L how it would be the other person. I confronted family, friends, coworkers. I wanted to prove my innocence to her.
Eventually, L got fed up and blocked both Z and me.
When she finally contacted me she met me for lunch and explained how she was ready for a relationship, wanted to hang out with me and my roommates again, wanted to stay the night with me, and all this stuff. I was so emotionally beat down by this roller-coaster I was about to scream yes when she then said ‘but I don’t want a relationship with you.’
WAIT… What? You want to do all that stuff but want a relationship with another person? She said yes. I told her whatever. I left. I sent Z an Instagram message thinking he was the one she wanted the relationship with. He said she did the same thing to him. WAIT WHAT?! We talked and ended up figuring out every lie she told us from the start.
From the very beginning of L and I being together, she was also seeing Z. She was also married. She was also sleeping with 5 other men behind all of our backs as well which turned up out of the woodwork.
All 8 of us met up and confronted her at her work which was a Buffalo Wild Wings. Her husband went first though. Pretending to be there to eat, then I showed up.
Then Z, then the other guys one by one and we all requested her section. You could see how pale her face was and we tried to keep it together. We all racked up a 100$ bill individually, all stood up, confronted her, and left without paying (which as she’s described in the past that money comes out of her paycheck if guests walk out and don’t pay) and that was that.
L… I really hope you seek mental help, but also go to where the sun don’t shine.”
8. Wanted To Surprise Her But I Was The One Who Got Surprised
“We had been exclusive for a couple of months, and I was still the ‘nice guy’ (not so after this episode).
She was a post-doc in a research lab and had a full-day conference scheduled, which was supposed to run late. We texted during the day, and she mentioned that she had missed lunch as she was a vegetarian, and they didn’t have many veggie options.
She said her conference would end at 8 pm, and she’d just go home from there.
Being the nice guy, I decided to surprise her with dinner. I lived near San Jose (CA), and she lived in San Francisco. So I left work early, drove to my favorite Indian place, and had them pack dinner for two, then drove through Friday traffic up to SF to reach the conference location before 8.
No sign of her. Waited a little bit more, and then texted her ‘how was your day?’. She replied with something like ‘just got out, heading home, turning in early’.
So I decided to surprise her at her apartment. She lived in an apartment complex with those electronic fob keys, but usually, people let someone in who’s carrying something; so I managed to sneak in.
I knocked on her door, and there she is, in her nightgown, and some dude on her couch. It was her ex, that she had repeatedly said mistreated her, cheated on her, and broke her heart.
I just handed the packed dinner to her, waived to the dude, and walked away. She was silent. Never spoke to her again for 3 years.
She reached out to me after 3 years, apologized, and admitted that she’d been seeing him as she still had feelings for him while we were together.
I could tell she was genuinely sorry, so I forgave her. We became good friends (platonic, as I had no desire for anything more), and would go for walks on weekends together. She is a nice person, just screwed up. We’re still friends. As for the ex? She broke up with that guy a few months later, for good.”
7. She Couldn't Hide Her Annoyance Of My Disease Anymore
“The same thing happened to me, with a supposedly super Catholic girl who forced us to have a Catholic wedding.
I had been insanely sick with an undiagnosed parasite a few years before we got married and she was well aware of my health condition. I was practically bedridden at times and needed help with getting food and cleaning up our place. She knew all of this and before the wedding acted like it was no big deal, well come the wedding and she’s ranting constantly about my inability to help out.
Mind you I couldn’t do things when I would be dealing with intense weakness and fever. Any activity would make it 10x worse and set me back for days. So we make it about 8 months and I’m looking over our bills and find a few thousand dollars is missing and call her to ask what had happened. I don’t get an explanation she just says we’re divorcing.
She goes and sells one of our cars and keeps the cash as well.
Maybe 3 months after we split and only 1 month since we stopped sleeping with each other, yea she went back and forth and would sleep with me and talk about how we weren’t splitting it was totally mind-blowing. She showed up at my parents’ house where I now was living with her new man, she was supposed to be coming by herself to pick up some old things she left but took the opportunity to show off her new relationship that seemed to have been going on for a while.
As soon as I had seen her kissing him out in their car I called her and told her to leave, I had never agreed to her bringing a man, and up until then, she had been lying telling me she was single.
So she didn’t leave she proceeded to come around to my glass door outside my room with her man in tow. I now was furious being sick and having this drop on me sent me over the edge.
I yelled again to leave, nothing was being done that day. At this point, the jerk guy steps up and tells me not to speak to her like I was and I lost it. I ran over to the door ran outside shoving him back 30ft and told them to get the heck out of my property or I was calling the police. I spit in his face he dodged it thankfully so I couldn’t be charged with assault which I think was their goal by pushing me as far as possible.
I honestly think she was trying to record the whole thing on her cell phone to try and show the church in order to get the marriage written off as that was the only way she could get the disgraceful separation off her record.
Anyways I found out a few years later that she had been pregnant at the time, that woman got knocked up not one month after our separation, and close enough to the time we had been sleeping together that I had to look at baby pictures and make sure it wasn’t mine.
So that’s my story of marrying a devoted Catholic who threw out all the vows and had a child basically while she was still sleeping with getting ex-husband. She didn’t get married until the child was about 2, also this destroyed her relationship with her family from what I can see. When we were together so many of her choices were made because of what her family would think, she’d constantly do things she didn’t really want to just because she thought her mom and dad would approve.
In fact, the whole reason we got married was that we couldn’t get our own home without being married even though we had lived together for the last 7 years. That whole relationship went to heck which sucks because when I was kinda healthy we had some of my favorite life experiences together. We did dozens of rock climbing trips that I view as some of the better times of my life.
I just don’t understand what happened to her if it were her that was sick I never would have done that to her. Now, in fact, I’m back to rock climbing and basically all the other activities we loved together and I’m hoping to find a new woman to share all these things and my love.
But reading these stories and my last experience has me seriously questioning the fact that there are no good women left they all have decided that their lack of happiness is grounds for messing their way to happiness as they can just do whatever they want if it makes them feel better.
Dealing with spineless jerks there’s way too many of them these days, sometimes life is unhappy and you have to work to make it better not just start sleeping with someone else to get a spark of happiness and attention.”
6. I Was Just Trying To Do My Business In The Middle Of The Night
“Went to poop in the middle of the night.
Partway through the process, I hear them going at it on the other side of the wall..
in the closet of the room adjacent to the bathroom. If that wasn’t bad enough, they had barricaded the door to said room… I guess to stop me from accidentally walking in on them?
I let them know I could hear them with a quick bang on the wall (one hit) and a loud ‘What the heck!?’
They flipped themselves, and I was asking things like why is the door blocked and why the heck did I have to find out like this?
(Really, if they had just come to me and said they had feelings for each other, I probably would have let it go, the relationship was rocky anyway.)
Left to go for a walk, was really feeling down due to the betrayal of my closest friend and my significant other. I came back to a dozen cops surrounding me. Apparently, while I was out walking and being mopey, they decided to call the cops with some unreal story about me attacking them?
It was two people’s word against mine… the court fees were outrageous. I had to pay for the damage the cops did to the apartment (they broke my bedroom window and got glass embedded in all of my things). I had to find a new place to live, spent a weekend in jail with a 20k bail.. it was awful. After a year of court sessions, the judge decided I wasn’t guilty of the crimes put against me, but that I still needed to get psychological help… turns out the whole thing gave me PTSD.
YAY.
The costs from everything put my education on hold because I simply couldn’t afford college anymore either.”
5. I'm A Firm Believer That Drinking Does No Good
“My ex was a drinker, and I didn’t go out boozing with her every night. If there was a band or something, I would go, but if not I would ask her to stay in touch, and make sure she had people with her that we trusted since it was kind of a rough part of town she drank in.
Sometimes she would crash at a friend’s house, but there were a lot of people living in that house, so I thought nothing of it other than not wanting to be inebriated and in a car.
About 3 years in, her computer dies and she is using my laptop since I also had a desktop. One day while she is out I decided to look over her desktop and find nothing wrong.
Odd, but nothing too suspicious; could be it just stopped working and was now working.
We had a trip planned to Disney in Florida, a bus trip that I was not looking forward to. A few days before we left, I took my laptop to a friend’s house for D&D while she was working. Her email was logged in, and one of her friends had been emailing her for months.
Flirting, naughty photos, and Skype had been used a lot. I was furious and tried to get out of this trip to Disney, but no one would buy my ticket. I didn’t confront her until after we got back, because I wanted to try and have a happy trip with her, and salvage our relationship.
It failed. She wanted nothing to do with me physically, was very pushy about what we were doing, and was just cold to me in general. I left the hotel room one night and got completely hammered and told my story to strangers.
A few people bought me drinks, and I stumbled back to the room, avoiding the next day’s activities.
We got back home, and after my shower, I told her I was packing my things and moving out. I told her about everything I found, and she claimed nothing happened between them. I knew that was nonsense, and got the truth out of her eventually.
I blew through thousands of dollars that summer going to concerts out of town, women, and bad stuff.
Hate-slept with a few willing ladies. In the end, I found the most amazing woman on earth and have been married 5 years.”
4. It Was Because Of A Bike Accident
“At the time I got into a pretty nasty bike accident. Now my significant other at the time always had her ex texting her, I didn’t really bother her much cause I trusted her, and honestly, there’s nothing I can do to stop other guys from texting her, that’s something she should be kept in check.
Before my accident, her ex kept texted her things like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I can’t get over how you’re over me’ she tells me when it happens and there was a point I said just block him, she did. But one day she told me he was bothering again and apparently her phone restarted and he had become unblocked ‘magically’. (RED FLAG). I stupidly believed and still trusted her.
Then I got into an accident, and she told me again that he was texting her. At this point, I’m frustrated so I text this jerk and ask him what’s up. He then tells me ‘what’s your problem’ and tells me my significant other still calls him past midnight when she is sad, that nothing has changed and she goes to him when I’m not around.
You have to understand my left hand is in a cast and my right wrist is messed up. So I’m mad but my typing speed is 10 wpm. I asked my significant other and she said yeah she did call him. That’s how I knew, she said she’s sorry and is going to take me seriously. After that, she truly blocked him everywhere. I stupidly forgave her and stayed in the relationship, I broke up with her after another year because I just couldn’t entirely let go of what she did, and somehow 8 months later I still can’t move on.”
3. He And The Side Chick Share The Same Interest
“I was 18. It was our first year away at college. He was a privileged pathological liar, but he was my first love. I found out he’d cheated on me a few months prior. In the time that followed, we maintained a pseudo-relationship that involved him continuing to see the girl he cheated on me with, continuing to sleep with me in moments of tearful arguments when I drove to see him, and watching him develop a nasty habit with illegal stuff (the girl he cheated with was into that kind of thing – she was also really unbalanced…
Then again, so was he). He’d scream at me over the phone while on rages, he totaled his extremely expensive car, and the one time I turned my phone off to show him what it felt like to be blown off, I woke up to over a dozen messages from him in various stages of collapsing.
Through all that, I kept trying to rebuild the relationship.
Eventually, he decided that I was the best he could ever hope for. He was weak and scared when we were far away from each other. He wanted to be with me and get clean and be better.
At least that’s what he told me.
The night we decided to get back together, he was supposed to go break up with this girl and then call me after so we could meet up.
He never called. His phone was off.
Now… This could mean a number of things. He was still doing bad stuff with questionable people so my first thought was worry.
So I drove by his house before work just to make sure his car was in the driveway. It was. But so was someone else’s. That meant his parents must be out of town. I walked up to the door and tried it.
It was unlocked. I walked up and saw them undressed in bed.
I kicked him awake and said ‘Goodbye Michael.’ I almost walked out, turned around, and just started slapping him like a crazy person. Not to hurt him. I was just so angry. I didn’t look at the girl. She owed me nothing. She wasn’t a part of this.
I walked outside, realized I had forgotten my shoes, then collapsed in the middle of the driveway.
He came after me a minute later. He tried to hold me, I punched him. It’s the only time I’ve ever hit someone. It hurt.
As I drove away from the house, I got pulled over by a cop for speeding. Of course. I was still in tears and explained the situation. The cop let me go. Thank god.
I went to work and made it through a short shift. We talked later.
After a while, I took him back.
He did get clean, but it took him much longer than he’d promised to break it off. We were together for another two years that. Then a friend of mine found his other FB account where he’d been in a relationship with ANOTHER girl for three months.
That finally did it. After four and a half years, we broke up.
We still had relapses once or twice. He still kept seeing that girl. They stayed together for five years. We kept in touch so I heard how awful it was. I was very polite about it. They finally broke up last year. His new girl seems nice.
Looking back, I realized that I was addicted to him. Because I was young and he was my first love, I didn’t think I’d ever find someone who understood me the way he did.
I was afraid. I thought I was lucky to find someone who loved me at all. I was wrong.
I went on to have other relationships. I picked someone a little better each time. Now I’m finally with someone who adores me and who I trust completely.”
2. Her Father Was Afraid I'd Throw Her Things In The Hallway
“It was Christmas time ’13 and everything seemed normal. She had to work Christmas day because she’s a personal support worker.
So I went to my parents’ house for the night so I could spend Christmas with them. On the 27th I went back to my apartment and everything is the way I left it. She didn’t get me my big Christmas gift, but she said we would get it in a few days. We went to bed together that night, cuddled, and slept together. Everything is perfect, so it seemed.
The morning of the 28th comes, and little did I know that my life would change dramatically over the next few hours. I woke up with a pain in my back, I managed to sleep the entire night with her cellphone lodged in my back. In a blurry mess, I grabbed the phone and went to put it on the nightstand. Before I set it down, I thought ‘I’ll just take a quick look through the messages to make sure everything is normal’.
Things were far from normal.
There were many messages to this un-saved number. ‘that was weird’ I thought. The further I read, the more it became clear. ‘Thanks for coming to see me on Christmas’, ‘Good night’, ‘Good morning beautiful’ was all I could see. I literally had to re-read the phone number to see if it wasn’t me she was messaging. It definitely was not me.
My breathing speeds up, my palms get moist, and my leg starts to tremble. Curses are all I could manage to utter as my b***d starts to boil. I get up and go to the bathroom with my phone. I read the messages again, and then again to make sure this is actually happening. I feel anger come over me in a way I’ve never felt before.
I go into the bedroom, I literally rip the blankets off the bed and she wakes up instantly groaning ‘what’s wrong?’. ‘WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?’ I screamed at her, shoving the phone in her face. ‘WHO THE HECK IS HE?’, ‘WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?’ is what I kept yelling at her. She had nothing to say, she was like a deer in the headlights.
She starts crying and grabs her phone from me. I tear up too, I’m so confused. She managed to tell me that she spent Christmas night with this guy she met a few weeks ago. The Christmas night she was supposed to be working. The Christmas night I was at my parents’ house. She tells me she was planning on telling me, and I say ‘liar’.
She never kissed or made contact, but she did mention that there was a romantic moment and she felt guilty. Yet, she didn’t want to tell me.
The next day or two is where it gets really messed up. She NEVER apologized for what she did. She wouldn’t acknowledge what she did. All she would do is say she’s confused and she needs time to think about everything.
She doesn’t want to continue a relationship where she’s not happy. I told her that I was willing to work through this, but she needs to understand she’s at fault and she has to do the work to win my trust back. This is something she NEVER did and refused to try and do.
The weeks passed, and she started spending less time at the apartment.
She couch-surfed friends’ houses and I was left to deal with this on my own. She signed a lease and started moving things out slowly. This is when I knew it was over. We had bigger and bigger fights until it finally got to the point where she would show the messages to her family to turn them against me.
It finally ended when I sent her a message at 5 am saying ‘if you won’t return my key, your things are going in the hall and the locks getting changed’.
Her father saw this message and they arrived here just after 8 am to get the remainder of her things. I would never put her things in the hall, I said it out of anger during a text fight.
She never stopped talking to him. She never acknowledged how she hurt me and now she’s taking all of her things out of here. It’s over. It’s been almost 2 months and she messages me saying that I will be alone forever if I don’t change how I am.
I’m starting to think she’s the problem and not me.
You may be wondering why she’s saying that I’m the issue. Most of our fights were because she thought I was talking to girls online. I wasn’t though. I spend time on my car forums, I browse craigslist hourly looking for deals and I’m always buying or selling something through craigslist or message boards, but I NEVER talked to girls romantically.
This is why we fought because she thought I was talking to girls online.”
1. So It's True That Liars Always Lie Again
“I met this girl online (bad idea kids) and decided to take a trip to see her. That ‘trip’ turned into me moving in with her. I thought everything was fine and dandy for over a year. I got a job working at a local hospital as an orderly (housekeeping basically good pay though) and helped pay for most of the bills and such.
She was still in school and so she would often stay up late at night ‘studying.’ I set up another room for her with a computer and things for her to use. Well, one night I woke up after having been asleep for a few hours and needed to drain the lizard, I hear some noises coming from the study and think, ‘oh well she’s just listening to music.’ I go do my thing in the bathroom, come back out, noises are now sounding more like something else so I thought ‘oh no she might be watching naughty movies or something that would be totally cool,’ or something to that effect.
Anyways I opened the door just a crack slowly, not to find her watching movies or studying, but instead in front of her computer for some other guy she had met on the internet. Now mind you, she never did this sort of thing when I met her, maybe a naughty picture now and again, but nothing like this. I basically lost my mind inside.
She never saw me standing there, so I slowly crept away and laid back down in our bed. I tried to go back to sleep but of course, that wasn’t happening. I remember her coming to bed later, she just kinda came in, still not dressed, got in bed, and went to sleep.
After I knew she was asleep I got up, packed all of my things that would fit in my car, and laid back down until it was time for work.
When I woke up and was leaving for work, she would get up and make me some coffee. Same routine, but I knew what I would be doing, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I sat down in my recliner and told her, after she handed me the cup of coffee, what I had seen when I got up during the night. She told me that it was a one-time thing.
I told her I didn’t like that, she made an excuse saying she only did it because of the money and thought it would make it easier on me. While I appreciated that, I knew it was just an excuse deep inside, but I also knew that I loved this girl very much. So I decided, ok I’ll give you another chance. Everyone makes a mistake once right?
So we move on from there, I unpack, go to work. Things seem to be back to normal for the most part. That is until my work hours got changed and I was sent home one day early so that I could come in earlier the following morning. I walked in the house expecting to find her doing whatever, watching TV, reading, making some dinner… that was her normal thing to be doing.
No that’s not what I found. This time I definitely heard something come from the study, I walked to the door that was wide open (her back was turned to me in the corner) and saw her in front of the camera on Skype. I should have known that this was probably what she was doing the first time, but being in love has a way of clouding your judgment.
I took this chance while she was distracted, to again very quickly and quietly, pack my things. Once I was done, I figured she might have finished up with this lie in the meantime, but apparently not. I walked back to the study and called her name out loud, she turned around and jumped up trying to say she was waiting for me to get home because she was so in need of some action.
I just smiled and said, ‘No you’re not, looks to me like you gave yourself plenty of it.’ Turned and left, of course, she came running out begging me to stay, but I’d had enough. I called my parents that lived about 600 miles away and told them I was coming and to expect me in the morning. On the way out of town, I stopped by my work and thanked them for the job that I had worked at, but that I would no longer be reporting to work effective immediately.
I didn’t spill all the details of the situation, because the girl’s father also worked there. Then I left. I never went back. She called, texted, emailed, wrote letters, and even said she was just going to drive all the way to my hometown just to see me. I won’t say I never responded because I guess being that it was my first ‘true love’ I did have some sympathy for her.
I was not about to forgive her though.
I spent the next few years seeing girls here and there but haven’t really found anyone else. I’m sure others have the same type of issues, mine being more centered around trust than anything. Remember folks, liars always lie again.”
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