People Ask For Our Understanding Regarding Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Laughing At My Ex's Wife For Wanting My Baby To Call Her "Mama"?
“My baby daddy (Luca, 34 M) and I (23 F) have a 1-year-old girl called Ivy. I’m not proud to admit it, but I was the other woman.
Luca was one of my friend’s professors, I met him when my friend was exposing her work at an art gallery hosted by him and I was mesmerized, we began to hook up soon after, and it took me 6 months to find out about Juliette (29 F) his then-partner now wife.
I was the one who told her everything and she has despised me ever since, I don’t blame her tho.
I found out I was pregnant two months after we broke up, I have a really strong support system and my family was okay with helping me, so I decided to keep my baby girl, I told Luca and Juliette (who decided to forgive him) and Luca said that it was my decision, but Juliette went off, saying that I had to terminate my pregnancy, that she was an illegitimate child, a mistake, a sin and that I’ve had already ruined her life enough.
My friends called me a jerk then for keeping Ivy, but she was blameless and I don’t regret it.
Fast forward to now, my girl is 1 and they’re married, I gave Luca the choice to be out of Ivy’s life because I thought I owed Juliette that much, but he refused and my daughter loves her daddy so much, she also loves Juliette and, luckily, Juliette loves her too.
I’m grateful for that and I’m okay with Juliette forming a bond with my daughter because she’s her step-mom and will be part of her life.
The problem is that, now that they’re married, she has demanded a lot of things, first, she wants more custody time (we have 70-30 because Luca has been traveling for work), and she wants to take Ivy for a full week instead of 2-3 days, she also wants to take Ivy to France to meet her family and she wants to be able to make decisions for her with us, with all of this, I was okay, I truly was, but then she said she wanted Ivy to call her ‘mama’ since I’m ‘mom/mommy’ and wants to rotate mothers day, I thought she was bluffing so I said ‘Haha, you’re an idiot, no’ without thinking.
She took great offense at this and I said that I won’t teach my daughter to call her mama and that if she wants to do it he has to decide it herself since she’s not her mom and I’m very much in the picture and I’ll ever be, I said I won’t rotate mother’s day too, at least not until a few years because this is MY baby.
She stormed out after calling me a jerk and I called Luca as soon as it happened.
He said I should just indulge her, that she deserves it for what we did to her, but I said that I didn’t do anything! I didn’t even know she existed and when I found out, I cut him off and that my daughter is not a coin that’ll be used to pay for every wronging she feels.
Am I really the jerk?”
35. AITJ For Being Angry After My Stepson Made Fun Of My Drinking Problem?
“I (38 M) struggled with drinking problems for 3 years. It was the most difficult period of my life.
I’m now 3 years sober and doing so much better with my life.
I got married to my wife last year and have a stepson (16 M) ‘Jake’. Jake and I aren’t really close but we have a cordial relationship, his dad’s in the picture so it’s pretty clear that he never sees me as a dad.
Jake has done a number of things in the past that caused us to fight like getting into trouble and making me pay for damages, or damaging my own things and having me pay for them. He also constantly mocks my sobriety every chance he gets.
Some issues got worked out with time but the ‘mocking’ is pretty much still there. I told him and told my wife how this makes me feel but got nowhere.
Father’s Day comes and my wife’s family came over to celebrate with us. We had dinner and then Jake surprised me with a gift saying it was for me for Father’s Day which I thought was sweet (completely out of character for him to get me anything).
However, from the way he was smug and smiling, I just didn’t feel comfortable. Anyway… I opened it and behold… there was a flask and a glass… frankly? I felt like he just made fun of, or mocked one of the biggest, most difficult struggles in my entire life.
I froze… I didn’t know what to say or how to act since everyone was literally watching me.
Jake was giggling hard and that’s when I got mad. I put everything back, then grabbed the box and told him ‘This doesn’t belong in my house’ Then I opened the door, walked up to the trash can, and threw the entire thing in there.
My wife, her mom, and my stepson were at the door watching. Jake went downstairs and my wife started arguing with me about what I did, we got into an argument that’s when her parents left. My wife got more upset saying how I reacted was childish and that Jake was just ‘teasing’ me and I should loosen up and stop being dramatic.
I refused to get engaged any further and now there’s just so much tension in the house and silence from my in-laws.
AITJ for how I handled it?”
34. AITJ For Not Offering My Sister And Her Partner To Live With Me?
“My sister (27 f) has a new partner (25 m) she left her baby daddy for a few months ago. She left behind her two daughters to leave for Virginia (23 hours from our hometown) with him. She didn’t tell my mom or me that she left with him and a month ago she reached out because while in Virginia, she told us she was living in her car.
She asked my mom to get a loan out for her and my mom wasn’t able to do that.
I sent my sister funds for two weeks’ worth of staying at a hotel because she told me she couldn’t come back because she had found a job over there and wanted to wait till the 6-month mark to transfer from Virginia to our hometown.
She said to trust her and she was making the right decisions and all. So I trusted that she was alone and trying to switch her life around, but I came to find out that she had left because of the guy, and when her new partner decided to move to Houston a week ago, she followed (what happened to HAVING to stay for 6 months?!)
In Houston, they were living with his brother and sister-in-law, but two days into that arrangement my sister got into a car accident and had to have spine surgery yesterday. She sent my mom a video of her bloodied in the back of an ambulance but refused to tell us where she was.
She first said she was in Austin and then told us she was still in Virginia until her best friend eventually told us she was in Houston. My mom was panicking and worried all day and my sister only said she didn’t want to worry us which is why she hadn’t said where she was…
Fast forward to today, and she’s fine and the doctor said she would have a really easy recovery and she was discharged this morning. This morning they went back to the brother’s house and my sister and her partner had an argument/big fight so they left the brother’s house because the guy was embarrassed with his family witnessing the fight, and she called me to ask if she could come to live with me in Dallas.
I live alone, have a very stable job and stable home, and would typically have said yes but I’m feeling exhausted from constantly saving her from her bad decisions and there’s absolutely no change from her. My mom has a 4-bedroom home with 3 empty bedrooms and has offered for my sister to live there with her rent-free and bring her new guy along.
But my sister keeps saying she won’t ever live there because my mom’s town is small and boring and she’s above working at a factory. I feel bad not coming to her rescue for the first time, but she’s literally one day out of the hospital and already continuing her streak of bad decisions.
My two nieces are with their dads (each one has a different dad) while she follows this new guy around despite him telling my mom and me that he didn’t want the responsibility of caring for her. They also both don’t have jobs or job prospects.
They would move in with me blind and look for a job once here.
AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Not Wanting My Friend And Her Kids To Sleep Over At My House Anymore?
“My friend has 3 kids aged 13, 11, & 5. My 17-year-old niece also lives with me. This week she asked if she and the kids could stay for a night (they live an hour away) and leave to take my niece to this local carnival happening.
The morning of the event she takes me to work and they leave out for the carnival sometime after that. I get back around 6 pm and the apartment smelled like trash. When I came inside the trash can was full and there was just another nearly full bag sitting on the kitchen floor.
It was only half full when I left. The kitchen had random dirty dishes including an opened bottle of blue curacao & huge pitcher. All around the floor of my dining table was glitter. Glitter all over the corner of the table legs, carpet, and She told me they were gonna be out until at least 10 pm and left somewhere between noon and 2.
When I texted her about it I sent ‘We gotta talk when you get back ’cause the way my partner was left is wild.’ And she replied, ‘Girl I cleaned up before I left. I made sure of it.’
I spoke to her the next morning saying ‘The apartment looked crazy when I came home’.
And she said ‘I apologize for the trash and a little bit of glitter’. She said she didn’t make any mess and that it was my cat that got into everything. Then she claimed the trash had no food in it and it was just foil and paper and she forgot.
Then when I mentioned the glitter she said she didn’t wanna wipe it up cause it would seep into the carpet. When I mentioned the vacuum she said she didn’t know I had one. I mentioned my niece who lives there who she didn’t ask.
And then she talks about how she was in a rush and didn’t mean to leave a mess. She kept saying she apologized already about the mess and what else was there to even be cleaned?
AITJ for telling my friend she and her kids are not allowed to stay the night anymore after they didn’t clean up before leaving?”
32. AITJ For Being Tired Of Asking My Neighbors To Move Their Car From My Driveway?
“I live in an awkwardly shaped cul-de-sac that if you park a certain way near my house will block half my driveway. Not a bit, like right in front. I have a car that sits low by design, and I need the entire width of the driveway so the car doesn’t bottom out.
The rest of the entire street is always open. My new neighbors who drive (75 f), (17 f), and don’t drive (95 f), moved in 7 months ago, they and the same visiting family and maids have repeatedly blocked half the driveway because it is convenient for them as it’s closest to their house.
Usually it’s for a few minutes but times it’s been hours. It’s literally an extra 15 seconds for them to park correctly. I’ve asked them not to park there, have been super friendly and advise where else they can park (99% of the street is open). In an emergency this is a problem, but I also don’t want to ask permission to use my own driveway.
At least 4 times I’ve found a car there and had to find the people/group to move it, and then we have a nice polite conversation about it. And it’s always the same 2-3 groups of adults that do this even after several very friendly curb side meetings with them and the family that regularly visits.
Sunday I needed to leave in a semi emergency and they parked there again. I texted to ask if they could move and this time was very direct about not parking there, 30 min went by with no response, saw one of the visiting adults who have been told twice about this leave and they did not tell the other car to move (which is her daughter, by the way).
So I called the police who showed up 10 min later and told neighbors to move as they are parked illegally and will be cited.
1 minute later they move the car and I leave, and the 80 f gives me the evil stink eye but I didn’t look over, wave or acknowledge her as before.
I have no malice in my heart but I don’t care to continue any further relationship with them and want them to fully respect my boundaries at this point and will enforce them as necessary.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Lashing Out After My Dad Brought His Husband To Our Family Vacation?
“My (15 F) dad (54 M) is married to Jacob (50 M) and to be honest I don’t like Jacob as he just annoys me.
I don’t know if they intentionally do what they do or if they don’t even realize they’re doing it but either way, it annoys me which is why I dislike Jacob very much.
I can never get alone time with JUST my mom and my dad without Jacob being there.
And I’ve specifically said all the time that I just want my dad and mom there but it doesn’t even matter to them because Jacob turns up either way. And yes I’ve communicated with them about this but it’s like they don’t even listen.
Anyways yesterday was supposed to be only me, my mom, and my dad going to an amusement park but also my half-sister (3 F) (my mom’s daughter). I told my dad and Jacob that I didn’t want Jacob there but guess what he turned up anyways.
Also, this event was for me and it wasn’t an event that was for the whole family, it was for me. And I wanted my sister, my mom, and my dad to be there only.
I was mad when Jacob turned up so instead of letting it go like I normally do I lashed out at my dad and Jacob for Jacob being there.
I told my dad that Jacob didn’t always need to come along and that he needed to stop bringing Jacob to my events that I specifically said I didn’t want him to attend. My dad was poised and Jacob started crying which only made me more mad.
Jacob is a grown man and I talked to him about this as well so it’s not like he was just clueless about the whole thing. So I didn’t understand why he was crying and maybe I was a bit harsh when I lashed out but that’s because I’ve been gentle with this MANY MANY times and I was just done with being gentle with them so I lashed out.
Now to mention my mom is the one paying for all this so she was also mad that Jacob turned up when he wasn’t supposed to be there. I NEVER see my dad without Jacob being there and it just gets so tiring when you can’t even talk to your dad alone with his husband/wife being there.
My mom and family are completely on my side but my dad and Jacob are mad at me. So AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Saying My Brother And His Wife Raised Their Daughter The Way She Is?
“My brother ‘Ron’ and sister-in-law ‘Jen’ have spoiled their daughter ‘Alice’ rotten since she was a newborn. Since Alice was a toddler, everyone in the family has told Ron and Jen they need to teach Alice boundaries, but they insist they’re the ones in charge of Alice
I often babysat Alice when she was young. I would tell Ron and Jen that Alice was not behaving, and they would respond by shaming me for not getting Alice exactly what she wanted or ‘pushing her so hard’ because I told her to pick up the toys she threw on the floor.
(Note: Alice was seven when this happened.) Eventually, I refused to babysit Alice and they insist I was being a bad aunt because I was ‘expecting so many adult things from a baby.’
Ron and Jen did all of Alice’s homework and class projects for her.
They frantically called me one night because the math tutor canceled and Alice’s homework had a pre-calculus question that they weren’t sure how to do the work for. I sent them the work for it that one time, but after that, I would refuse to.
Alice is now seventeen and completely out of control. She screams, curses, and flips off her parents until she gets her own way. She is unlicensed and dented Ron’s car several times when stealing it for joyrides. She has stolen both Ron and Jen’s wallets for shopping sprees.
They have caught Alice partying, drinking, vaping, and sneaking out to boys’ houses.
She has gotten even worse since her junior year. Ron and Jen still do her projects or pay others to do them, but the material is now too specific for Ron and Jen to understand without class notes (which Alice isn’t taking for them.) Alice did not pass her junior year, and she is angry because now all her friends are doing senior things that she can’t join in on.
Ron and Jen called me the other night to tell me how exhausted they were because Alice was illegally driving again and they had to beg an officer not to send Alice to juvie. They talked about how wild ALL teens are and they’re not sure where their sweet little girl went.
I thought that last part was a joke and a laugh slipped out before I could stop myself. Ron got angry and asked what I thought was funny. I apologized for laughing, but I responded that Alice’s behavior sounded about right because did they expect Alice to just magically become responsible and well-behaved when they have always rewarded her bad behavior?
Ron and Jen started to yell at me, but I hung up.
Many of my friends and family members said Ron and Jen are only angry because they didn’t like hearing the truth. But most of the family is saying I have no idea how hard it is to be a parent, much less have a child like Alice.
And even though the laugh slipped, I was cruel to respond to Ron and Jen that way knowing how exhausted they are. Now I’m conflicted about if I was being a jerk to my exhausted brother and sister-in-law. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Visit My Stepmom's Homophobic Country?
“I’m 16 and openly gay. My stepmom herself is cool and I like her, but she is from a country known for their poor treatment of LGBT individuals.
I won’t name the country to avoid controversy, just that if you go to read those articles that say ‘worst X countries for LGBT rights’, her country is always there.
Of course, this isn’t my stepmom’s problem or responsibility, she is cool and not at all homophobic.
She wants us to visit her country and her family for Christmas for two weeks. When she brought up the idea I told her that I’m not comfortable coming but I’m also not saying they shouldn’t go, we’ll just need to plan something different for me like staying with my uncle or grandparents which I’m happy to do.
She suggested that I’m overreacting and I’ll be safe there as there are lots of gay people living there (I’m sure it’s true), but I don’t understand the language, or the norms and don’t know how to keep myself safe so it’s better to not risk it.
She has since been offended that I don’t want to visit and meet her family and says she’s disappointed in me that I won’t do it for her and she says she’s sure I will have a great time there. But in reality, even if nothing happens I will always fear of what could happen so it will be stressful.
She also says her family would be hurt as well if I don’t go, they’ll perceive it as me not considering them worthy to visit them (which is obviously not the case), and she’ll be embarrassed.
Anyway, my dad says he agrees that I shouldn’t go if I don’t want to, but also tells me that he understands why stepmom feels hurt by this and has taken it personally.
So I’m wondering if I may be the jerk for selfishly only thinking about myself without giving much thought about how it makes my stepmom feel and the appearance that it gives to her family?”
28. AITJ For How I Acted Toward My Father's Partner?
“Saturday night, the night before Father’s Day where I live, my Dad and his partner got into an argument about his mates wanting to invite him to a bar (they were wasted while calling him).
His partner thought he was secretly going to bars with his mates when he wasn’t.
Now, I was doing my history assessment and I really needed to go to the toilet while they were arguing. I mean busting. So, I go out of my room to go to the toilet.
I crossed paths with my Dad’s partner and apologized for the arguing and said she was going to explain what was happening. I said, ‘No, I need to go to the bathroom.’ And she responded with ‘Okay, I’ll tell you afterward then.’
I don’t know if most people do like hearing what their parent is arguing about, but I do not.
I walk out and she asks ‘Do you want me to tell you what happened?’ And I responded again ‘No, thank you.’ Then she proceeded to say ‘Well I’m going to tell you anyway so listen up.’ And I repeated myself again like a broken record.
She didn’t listen and I needed to do my history assessment so I decided it was a good idea to just walk away.
It was not.
She yelled at my Dad for 2 hours (I could hear it in my room) telling him I’m not a good kid and that he needs to teach me properly.
Before I went to bed, he brought in his partner and sternly told me I’m being disrespectful. I tried to argue I needed to do my assessment, but Dad was only just saying it was disrespectful and his partner asking questions if I hate her.
I felt really spiteful. I guess teenage angst. But whatever, the next morning on Father’s Day I decided to give my Dad his presents but not the card. I felt unjustified. But later that night on Father’s Day when Dad decided to leave the house for 5-6 hours to his partner’s house, he came back home.
It took a couple of hours before he knocked on my bedroom and then angrily ranted about how my disrespect to his partner won’t be tolerated in this household.
Ever since then, there has been tension between us and I just want it to be over.
I have 4 assessments due this week and I’ve felt physically or mentally sick these past few days. So don’t give me sympathy because I really need to know:
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Wearing A Tuxedo And Bowtie At My Wedding?
“I (29 f) am getting married to my fiance ‘Tom’ (46 m). It’s the second marriage for both of us. My ex ‘Nick’ and I had to get married at 19 because I was pregnant. We lost our little girl to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) when she was eight weeks old.
Soon after that, we separated and Nick came out as gay. We’re still friends. Tom was in a toxic marriage for ten years until he left with his daughters (6 f and 9 f) five years ago.
Tom and I have been together for four years and engaged for one.
Before anyone says anything, yes, we’re very aware of the age gap. We make it work. Honestly, with him and his kids, I’ve found a happiness that I didn’t think possible for me after burying my child.
We’ve been planning the wedding outfits and we agree that we don’t want to do a traditional white wedding with a dress.
One reason is that, as stated above, we’re getting married for the second time. We’ve had that white wedding already. The other reason is that we don’t really like the traditional gender stuff, even in everyday life. One way of expressing that is by swapping clothes: He often wears my blouses (and looks fantastic in them), and I wear his shirts and ties.
Nick’s partner, who is a tailor, came up with the idea of a white wedding with a twist: Tom is going to wear a white suit with some pretty embroidery and I’m wearing a black tuxedo, bowtie, and all. Nick’s partner has designed everything for us and it’s almost finished.
We’re really happy, but lately, we’ve started sharing our plans with our friends and families, and the feedback has been mixed. Most of our friends love the idea, but Tom’s best man, his brother, and his dad hate it. His mom has been polite about it, but I can see that she’s disappointed. My family hates the idea as well, but they’re used to me going against their traditional beliefs, so they’re not really fighting it.
Yesterday, I got a call from Tom’s brother. As the most level-headed among the men of his family, he was asked to talk to me about the wedding. He said that it’s tradition for the bride to wear white and that I emasculate Tom by ‘forcing’ him into that role.
That I’m humiliating him in front of all of his friends and family. I know Tom loves his white suit as much as I do and I told his brother that, but he said: ‘Tom hasn’t got the balls to tell you. Look at how he let (ex’s name) treat him.’ He also said that if I treat Tom like this, his daughters might lose their respect for him.
The phone call made me really angry, but at the same time, I think he might have a point. No matter how much Tom and I love screwing with gender roles and no matter how much we love our choice of outfits, Tom’s family will not understand.
They will see him as weak or submissive (which he isn’t) and might respect him less for it.
So, AITA for still wanting to go through with it despite what it might look like to Tom’s family?”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting "Guidance" From My Mother-In-Law?
“I have a 4-month-old daughter. Motherhood is obviously difficult but with the pressure from people around me warning me not to mess up it became too overwhelming. Whenever my daughter gets sick I’d get a call from my mother-in-law (who’s a medical professional) to point out what I did wrong and then berate and lecture me about it although I do all I can.
Days ago my daughter started having diaper rash. My mother-in-law called me and was furious. I still had no idea how she knew. My husband said he didn’t see or call her for 2 weeks. I had an argument with her after she accused me of causing my daughter her diaper rash and also called me ‘neglectful’.
Last night, when my husband and I were lying in bed, he wanted to show me something on his phone. As he scrolled through his texts, I caught a text that he sent to his mom around the time our daughter got sick. I looked at it and it said that I caused our daughter’s diaper rash and then neglected treatment.
I was stunned, he saw the look on my face and wanted to retrieve the phone but I took it and scrolled up and saw more texts from him basically giving her details about every move I make regarding our daughter’s care. I felt enraged and quite betrayed. I went off on him, told him he was out of line tattling to his mom about my ‘mess-ups’ and not only letting her but encouraging her to berate me and lecture me about my own daughter which had worn my self-esteem down as a mother and caused me depression.
He said I shouldn’t have snooped on his private conversations with his mom and said that I needed this ‘occasional’ ‘guidance’ from his mom to make sure our daughter is in good health. I yelled at him and he called me crazy then walked out to stay on the couch.
Things have been pretty bad after that and this morning he avoided me and refused to talk about it except to say that I overstepped by reacting with hostility.”
25. AITJ For Taking My Dad's Laptop From His Snooping Partner?
“My (16 F) dad (36 M) has been going out with ‘Delia’ (42 F) for a year. He introduced us 3 months ago and to keep it short, I don’t like her. When my dad’s not around she’s suuper passive-aggressive and I feel like she constantly tries to compete with me and be like his favorite or ‘the better one’?
I honestly don’t know how to explain it. I can’t really discuss it with someone because it’s not like I have any proof or something.
Yesterday, she came here at 8 am because the three of us were supposed to spend the day together, but my dad got called in for an emergency and said he’ll be back by 2 pm, no problem.
I sat in the kitchen where you have a full view of the living room (not because I was watching her, but because I’ve always sat there to do homework). If I looked at her all I could see was her back so I thought she was on her phone.
I had to go to my room to get some papers and when I walked behind her to go to the stairs I saw what she was doing.
She was using my dad’s laptop (He’s an architect, so his laptop it’s really, really important and he doesn’t let anyone use it), I did think ‘What?!’ but couples are weird and guessed she was the exception (she’s also in the field).
She saw me, smiled and I went upstairs, got my thing and came down. I guess she thought I was going to my room for a while because when I walked behind her again (she didn’t notice me) she was looking at my dad’s bank account and his social media accounts.
She really had the three things open at once and I said ‘Hey! You shouldn’t be seeing that!’ and took his laptop. She got red in the face and tried to make excuses like ‘I was trying to close them’, ‘It’s not what you think!’ until she got mad and said that she was HIS PARTNER, and I had no right to snatch thing from her hands and that I was being a jealous brat because ‘daddy wasn’t all mine any more’.
She demanded an apology and I tell her to get out until my dad came back because I wasn’t comfortable having her alone anymore.
She did leave but called my dad crying and made a fake version of what happened. He came back mad, but after I explained what happened (and saw the living room footage) he knew I was telling the truth, apologized, and thanked me.
My grandmother on the other hand is MAD because she really loves Delia and said that I did act like a jealous daughter and that when you have a man, you have to make sure he’s good and agreed that I should apologize because I acted like a huge jerk.”
24. AITJ For Not Letting My Wife Borrow My Car Anymore?
“I (36 M) love my wife (32 F), she’s awesome. Our relationship is solid, but she’s a very different person than I am.
I am, by nature, an organized and process-oriented person.
I work as a project manager and my life is focused on structure, planning, deadlines, etc.
My wife is the opposite. She’s a creative type with a great career in advertising. Nothing about her life is organized, everything is haphazard and somewhat chaotic… but this is what makes her good at her job, I understand and accept that and have done since I fell in love with her.
We’re different and that’s a huge part of her awesomeness. She is cool and exciting and brought new things to my life. I love that.
The issue: we both have cars, my car is newer and has better tech but they’re similar, BUT I keep my car clean and tidy all the time.
Her car is a mess, with garbage, empty coffee cups, stuff rolling around when driving, etc. She hates dealing with it. And because my car is ‘nicer’ than hers, she prefers to use my car.
3 weeks ago, she was going to a friend’s place up in the woods (a 5-hour drive) for a girl’s weekend.
I am going out for the weekend skiing (3.5 hrs), we’re both leaving at the end of work Friday. At 4:00 pm my wife is done and she leaves. Love and kisses etc. When I finish at 7:30 pm, I’m antsy to get going – I go to load my gear, but when I get outside my car is gone, and hers is on the driveway.
I thought, WHAT?! Did she take my car?
I call her and we have a fight because I am mad. I have a ski rack on my roof and the gear doesn’t really fit in her car. But she’s already 3 hours into her trip up north.
I don’t want to ruin her weekend by making a big deal about this… so I******* up.
There’s no gas in her tank (as usual), so I get gas and as I leave the gas station I get pulled over. I am just mad at this point.
Cop asks for a license and registration – which I am already looking for and can’t find. There are tons of papers and receipts and all sorts of random stuff in the glove box and center console… I can’t find it.
Cop: ‘I pulled you over because your license plate tags are expired.’
Cop: ‘This vehicle is registered to (wife’s name) of (previous apartment address)’ (she hasn’t updated her registration)
Cop: ‘There are also unpaid citations on this vehicle. I have to inform you that I am impounding this vehicle’.
The cop writes up a ticket, calls a tow truck, and tows it to the pound.
Since then, we have had a couple of huge fights about this. I feel that she needs to be more organized, starting with keeping her car legal. To force the issue, I have revoked my wife’s usage privileges of my car until such a point that we’re on more of an equal footing… and she is MAD about it.
I am not prepared to budge on it until she takes care of her car situation.
So, give it to me straight. Am I being a jerk about the car?”
23. WIBTJ If I Refuse To Live With My Homeless Brother-In-Law?
“BIL has had a rough run with relationships in that his first wife and mother of his kids passed in an accident when they were around 2/3, and his subsequent 3 partners were abusive to him and his kids. The last one caused him lasting psychological damage and left him unable to work after she left.
His second ex-wife who co-owned his house managed to get full ownership of the house as he’d stopped paying bills for about a year and refused to go to court or have anything to do with any kind of administrative process due to his trauma.
He and his 2 kids (now 17-18) were evicted just before Christmas 2019 and were taken in by his retirement-age parents.
Since then he has been verbally abusive to them and the kids, destroyed their leather lounge suite and one of their clothes dryers, stolen tools, computers, and food, and refused to get on any kind of welfare even though with his mental issues he is eligible for disability.
His parents and we, and my SIL have tried many times to no avail to get him help but he gets too triggered and verbally abusive in discussions and usually ends up spiraling into ‘nobody helped me while she (ex) was abusing me’ – which is false, the in-laws were over their house every other night to stop the cops being called. Regardless, nobody wants to deal with his volatility so those discussions always end up unresolved.
There’s more but I’d probably go over the word count limit. Anyway, MIL and FIL have given him various ultimatums and dates to sort his finances out or leave (he hasn’t paid a single cent in rent or utilities to them in this time and they’ve been fully supporting his kids until they got jobs).
With the most recent ultimatum, he came to me and asked if he could move in with us. Now we have a small 3 bedroom 1 bath home with my 2 kids, a teenage and young daughter. They have their own rooms of course. We are not well off but we make ends meet.
His pitch was thus: ‘Can your girls share a room, I’ll take the other room and I will cook and clean and babysit your kids.’ In exchange he wants food and board and $150 paid TO HIM each week.
I was so shocked by all of this that I told him I’d talk to my husband and we’d see.
But.
Of course, I don’t want him living with us. We have worked very hard for what we have. And we cannot afford to pay him to be a live-in housekeeper, nor can we afford to support him even if we don’t pay him.
After bills, we barely have enough for fuel and groceries. Plus my girls are 7 and 14 – I can’t ask them to share a room. I feel bad as he has been through a lot and has significant trauma and is very unwell, and he has nowhere to go.
Given all of this, WIBTJ for refusing to house him?”
22. AITJ For Not Giving My Niece And Nephew Easter Baskets?
“I’ve (27 f) never been close to my sister, Emma (32 f). She’d always insult or criticize me whenever she got the chance and we both resented each other growing up. She semi-apologized for this as an adult, but we still don’t have a relationship.
She also lives completely across the state with her husband and two kids; Ruby (8 f) and James (6 m). I’ve only met my niece and nephew in person twice and I don’t keep up with their lives.
Every year, a dozen friends and I will all get together for an Easter-Basket-making party.
We all chip in and bring supplies to make about 300+ mini Easter baskets for less fortunate kids. They’re given to a local domestic violence shelter and to the local children’s hospital. My parent friends also bring their children to be the ‘Easter Bunny’s Helpers’ and follow his ‘special instructions’ (Each basket needs five plastic eggs with fun-sized candy inside, one king-sized candy bar, one snack, and one activity (like a coloring book.)) They also get to make one for themselves.
The older ones find it corny, but they all enjoy designing/customizing the baskets and are proud to do a good thing. There are also food and games at these parties, so everyone has a good time.
Last Monday, Emma texted me out of the blue asking, ‘I saw Gina’s post about the baskets.
(Gina made a social media post about the baskets her son designed and about supporting the community.) When will Ruby and James be getting theirs?’ I wasn’t even sure how Emma knew Gina. I responded back that the baskets were meant for the kids whose parents couldn’t afford them.
Emma got mad and texted back how she was ‘struggling financially’ and ‘You know we don’t make a lot of money!’ Her husband is an insurance broker and Emma works part-time as a receptionist. They also don’t have any outstanding medical bills or anything like that.
They aren’t rich but they can certainly afford to buy their own easter baskets. I asked why she would expect me to donate easter baskets to two kids who I don’t even know and more importantly who have families that can provide them with baskets already.
Now Emma’s finding any posts about the party and leaving passive-aggressive comments like, ‘If only Ruby and James could have had one too!’ and ‘It’s too bad Ruby and James didn’t have a more attentive auntie.’ My aunt is calling me selfish because I could ‘easily afford two more baskets with my salary.’ My mother has also contacted me saying she’s disappointed in me for ”Allowing my pettiness to hurt Ruby and James’ holiday.’ Which all either have nothing to do with it or are beyond the point.
I feel that I shouldn’t take away those baskets from less fortunate kids to give to ones whose parents can actually afford their own. I don’t know if I’m somehow dense or being a jerk since they are my niece and nephew. AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Comparing Being Pregnant And Having Cancer?
“So my (29 M) wife (29 F) and I are expecting our first child in about a month, and I’d like to emphasize before getting into any of this that we are both very excited and love each other very much.
This has been a really tough pregnancy, and although there haven’t been any issues threatening the life of my wife or the baby, the mood swings and depression in addition to the general awfulness of pregnancy have really taken a toll.
I know it might be hard to take me at my word on this, but I really have been doing my absolute best to support her in any way I can, and she is very appreciative of this, but last night she was complaining about swelling, diarrhea, mood swings, etc, and she said something along the lines of ‘now I know how you must’ve felt when you were treating’ (for context, I had aggressive bone cancer as a teenager, and I needed intensive chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery).
This really rubbed me the wrong way, but I kept it to myself cause I knew she just needed to vent and my gatekeeping suffering wasn’t going to accomplish anything.
Later, she made the comparison again, and I asked her to stop. She asked why and I told her that it’s not the same and that, although pregnancy can be traumatic in its own and sometimes similar ways, I knew what I went through and her current symptoms would’ve been the least of my worries.
I fully acknowledge that from her perspective this must’ve felt extremely invalidating, but it honestly is the truth. I don’t want to fetishize my own suffering or anything, but I still do take some about of pride in what I’ve overcome, and it felt disrespectful for her to minimize that.
In her defense, she didn’t know me when I was going through this, and I don’t talk about it much, so I doubt she has a super clear idea of what my treatment was like, but it still felt like a huge leap to equate the two.
She started crying and I tried to comfort her, but she, unsurprisingly, doesn’t want to talk to me. I am used to more extreme reactions than her normal self would have due to pregnancy, so I don’t really feel the need to continue to hash this out with her unless y’all think I’m the jerk here and need to apologize.
AITJ for minimizing what she’s going through?”
20. AITJ For Causing My Sister To Get Kicked Out Of The House By Our Mom?
“So my sister barely watches her kids but expects me and my mom to be there for her 24/7 while she’s out and about.
She treats me like her free babysitter and it’s my fault since I honestly let her for a while but I’m 17 now and over it. I have more independence and I’m tired of watching her kids while she goes out. She even has me blocked on her social media because she doesn’t want me to see that she’s out having fun.
My mom works a lot especially overnights so it’s always me or my sister at home. Since I have the basement room it’s really easy for me to sneak out since my window is right above my bed and my room has a lock.
And I usually don’t leave for long, usually, just a few hours to drive around and smoke with my friends on the weekdays, and sometimes on the weekends we party.
My sister last week came home from her own night out to her kids (they’re 7 and 4) asleep in their rooms and then wanted to get something from my room but it was locked. She was knocking and pounding on it and she realized I was gone and got upset.
She called me and I answered and she was going off asking me where I was. I told her it’s not her business and she said I left her kids alone at home. I asked her how that’s my business and she shouldn’t leave the house without making sure someone’s there and if they’re not then she needs to stay home.
She had the nerve to cuss me out saying that I didn’t leave through the front door so how was she supposed to know I left and I just hung not thinking anything of it. She ended up snitching on me for sneaking out to my mom who was working her overnight and texted me.
She was actually pretty cool and didn’t care since I have good grades and don’t ever do anything bad and said to be safe and come home soon.
I was SO upset my sister had the NERVE to snitch on me for leaving the house to live MY LIFE expecting me to watch HER kids as she goes out so I decided to snitch back.
I know my sister wants to have another last final baby this year in 2022 (I’ve overheard her talking about it a lot to her friends) and she wants to have one with her children’s father since she doesn’t want more than one dad or a big age gap.
I got home that night and the next morning my mom and sister were arguing about what I told her. My mom said it’s a slap in the face since she’s working to help my sister and she’s PLANNING another pregnancy as a single mom under my mom’s roof.
To both our surprise my mom said that she has until the end of this summer to move out since she can’t do this anymore. My sister started crying saying she doesn’t have any funds saved and can’t afford rent and childcare and my mom said to get a job.
My sister started screaming at me saying that I did this all over ME being the wrong one for sneaking out and I’m the worst person ever and a jerk. Even her kids are mad at me. Was I really wrong about everything? I felt like she deserved it for snitching on me.”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Play At My Mom's Cousin's Wedding For Free?
“I (f 19) am a music student at a conservatoire. I’m a violinist, and I’m the first violin in a string quartet with three of my fellow students (m 20, f 19, and m 21). I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I’d say we’re a strong ensemble; we’ve had plenty of external gigs and also won college and regional competitions.
Recently, my mum’s cousin approached her about her upcoming wedding. Since I’m the only musician in the family, and nobody else plays music nor went into the profession, she asked my mum if I could play at her wedding reception with some of my friends.
I said I’d be happy to, and said she could call me to discuss pay. My mum said that her cousin was surprised to hear that and expected we would play for free.
At this point, I decided to call her rather than communicate through my mum, and tried to explain that we have to be paid.
She was confused and asked me why. I explained that we’re students going into music as professionals and that we need to pay our bills and have food on our tables. Playing for free would mean the travel and time would come out of our own pockets and neither I nor my quartet would be happy with that.
She became offended and said that we could get lifts to and from the venue and that I should be willing to do favors for her since she is family. She also said that it would be good practice for us and she could recommend us to her friends.
I said that we were already familiar with performing and didn’t need practice.
She insisted and asked how much the minimum amount my quartet would accept was. I found the standard reference prices for the gig on the musician’s union site, incorporated performance and rehearsal time as well as travel (the venue was far away) then added a large discount.
She was shocked at the amount, which came to about £350 total, and said it was impossible to pay that much. She said she would pay no more than £15 each, which is a ridiculous rate for a 3-hour reception performance. I told her that her rate was not acceptable, and she would have to find other musicians to play at her wedding.
I asked my colleagues and they admitted that they would not have been happy with the pay, but would have reluctantly agreed had I pressured them.
Previously, I had been planning to attend the wedding, however, my relative was angry at me and said I was no longer welcome to attend.
My mum said I was overly rude and should have agreed to play, but she was understanding and told her cousin she was unreasonable, however, my grandparents and great aunts are saying I’m being stingy and ungrateful to the family.
I am sick of people assuming that musicians can work for very little or no money; it’s an occupation, not a hobby.
We’re struggling college students, and these relatives have never financially supported me in any way; I don’t feel I owe it to them to work for free. AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Not Allowing My Partner's Daughter To Visit Our New House Yet?
“I (26 f) and my SO (32 m) have been together for 5 years and he has 2 children with his ex Anna (31 f).
They have Leo (8 m) and Lea (14 f) together. I and my SO decided to wait until we were together for 1 year for me to meet his children.
We met up for lunch at a local restaurant, and while Leo liked me, Lea didn’t speak a word.
I assumed she was not ready to warm up to me just yet. After that, we scaled back to brief video calls, where she wouldn’t say anything. This went on for another 6 months, then I and my SO moved in together.
Leo came every other week for visits for the first month, and Lea never came.
She told my SO she didn’t want to be around me so she wasn’t going to come for visitation. So my SO did visitation at his sister’s house. This worked out OK, it was just awkward because his sister lives 5 min away from our old apartment and the kids lived 20 min away from us, so it was a lot of driving back and forth.
This has been the arrangement for years.
The entire time I’ve been inviting Lea out (through my SO) with us to get to know her better. We go out at least 4-5 times per month and do various activities (parks, museums, zoo, malls, go-karts, restaurants, everything!) Leo tags along sometimes but Lea has never come.
On March 1st I closed on my dream apartment. 3 beds, 2.5 baths, study, huge balcony, it’s gorgeous! We’ve moved in and I’m so excited to start making our home here. I posted a video on social media and Anna saw it and showed Lea. Anna blew up my SO’s phone asking him when he was going to tell Lea that he moved. He did tell Lea, and she said ‘Oh, ok’.
After Lea saw our new home she asked SO when she would be able to come over and decorate her new room.
I told him under no circumstances will Lea be allowed into her new room until she agrees to meet us outside for an outing.
I love her because she’s my partner’s daughter, but I don’t know her! I’ve only ever heard her voice in videos she posts on social media. She has never spoken a word to me! My SO is incredibly sad because he just wants his daughter to visit him again, but he agrees with me.
Anna and Lea obviously disagree, and so do my in-laws.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Snapping After Finding Out My Mother-In-Law Set Up A Camera In The Bedroom?
“My husband (M 33) got into a car accident almost a month ago.
He’s been bedridden due to a back injury and I’ve been his primary caregiver. The pressure has been too much from my MIL, she keeps telling me to take care of him and be there for him constantly. She begged me to take time off work and I did, asked me to send her hourly updates about his condition (first 2 weeks) but when I don’t she’d get mad and cause an issue.
She visits every day but doesn’t do anything to help, alternatively, she’d list all the things I should or shouldn’t do. The family keeps telling me she’s just worried sick for her son so I try to stay calm.
Days ago, she called to berate me about not replacing the sheets quickly, I had no idea how she found out since my husband didn’t call her.
My sister-in-law called me to tell me that her mom installed a camera in the bedroom to see if I was taking proper care of her son. I was stunned, and after searching the room I found the camera, I called my MIL and had a huge fight with her.
She admitted it and said she was just feeling concerned and wanted to make sure her son was being cared for (despite him calling her every day) I yelled at her telling her that she’s no longer allowed into my home after this.
She lost it and went on a rant about how I’m stopping her from seeing her son and that not seeing him will literally make her sick herself.
The family called me later to get me to back out of this decision but I told them she breached my privacy and took advantage of the situation. They said I’m taking it too personally and that I can’t blame a concerned mother for wanting to make sure her son’s fine, especially since she listed things she thought I was doing wrong.
I ended the conversation but my husband is upset telling me I’m being vindictive and that if his mom can’t come then he’ll move there with her. We argued then I went outside and he’s been silent ever since.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Not Standing Up For My Partner Against My Daughter?
“I (34 M) have a daughter, Haley (18 F), with my ex (34 F). Yes, I got the ages correct.
For background: Neither of our families was happy when they found out we were expecting, but her family got over it after Haley was born, but mine cut me out. The only one who stayed in touch with me was my sister. My daughter doesn’t know why I am not in touch with my family.
I don’t want her to feel responsible. So my ex and I have always told her that I cut them out because I didn’t like them. I have Haley with me every other weekend and my ex and I split the costs of everything regarding her.
We are on speaking terms but don’t hang out often. Only on Haley’s birthday and Thanksgiving every year.
I have been seeing my partner (36 F) for over a year now. She is not a kids person, doesn’t want them, but is on good terms with Haley.
My daughter will be leaving for college in another month, so she wanted to go shopping for new clothes and things she will need to set up for her new apartment. She wanted both me and her mother to go with her, my partner wasn’t invited. I was happy to, but my partner wasn’t.
She didn’t speak to me, but directly went to Haley and said that Hales was being disrespectful to my partner by making me spend a day with my ex. Haley then told my partner that it would be the last time I would have to spend time with my ex, until the next milestone like her wedding or having children, etc. but it only upset my partner even further.
When Haley told me about this I was upset and told my partner that if at any point she has a problem with what I do, she is to speak to me and not my kid.
Three days ago, when my daughter, my partner, and I were at my place the topic of college came up.
Haley asked me if I would ever consider going to college myself. I said no, and when she asked why I told her that I felt a little old for it now, and I have a well-paying job so it isn’t necessary. When she asked if I would consider that if were still 18, my partner literally said ‘Of course he would, you do realize that you being born is the reason his family cut him in the first place right?’ Haley got upset/angry and yelled at my partner about how she could just not be happy that H has a stable life and then called her some names.
I was in too much shock to say anything, so I just asked my partner to leave. I tried speaking to my partner the next day but she said she wouldn’t speak to me unless I punish my daughter to make her apologize to my partner.
I said no I wouldn’t make my daughter apologize. She hung up on me and I have been getting texts from my partner’s brothers calling me a jerk for letting my daughter treat their sister like that. Haley has been avoiding me and her mom ever since.
She leaves early, comes home late, and is eating out. And I can’t help but blame my partner for that.
I know name-calling is bad, but I feel like my partner bought that on herself. AITJ here?”
15. AITJ For Telling My Ex's Significant Other About My Experience With Him?
“I (26 F) was contacted by a girl I sorta went to high school with (22ish F, she was a freshman when I was a senior) about a guy I briefly dated in high school (only about 3 months who is now 28-9 M).
She started out by asking how I was doing, asking about some of our old mutual friends, pretty normal social media message conversation. Honestly, I almost got MLM vibes and was prepared to cut the conversation off if it got there, but she then asked me about 28 M.
She asked if he had ever exhibited controlling behavior when we dated. I told her, yeah, that was why I broke up with him. We dated when I was 15 and he was 17-18. Almost as soon as we made it official, he had all of these rules about me not being able to hang one-on-one with any male friends or any of my gay/bi female friends since I was bi and I might have an affair with them and ‘not think it counted’.
He would also randomly grab my phone when I was texting people and read through the conversation and point out things that I was doing that could be construed as potential infidelity (for example, making plans with a group of friends, talking to one of the male friends about it and using smiley face emojis in the conversation).
There were also multiple instances of me hanging out with friends where he would show up uninvited and critique how I was dressed and ask my friends really inappropriate questions.
I got tired of it pretty quickly and broke it off, he went to college out of state and I never really thought about him again until now.
So, I gave her the lowdown on what happened when we were together. She said thank you, he has apparently continued this pattern of behavior and her friends are pretty divided on whether or not it’s normal.
About a week later (yesterday) someone messaged me on Snapchat saying that what I did was ridiculous, I ruined their relationship and honestly, she was ‘blowing his actions out of proportion’ and that he’s changed a lot since we dated. I told them that the only reason you actually need to break up with someone is wanting to break up with them, and blocking that person.
I feel like I might be the jerk because it’s technically none of my business what he gets up to now, but it’s not like I went out of my way to find who he was going out with and tell them about my experience.”
14. AITJ For Being Jealous About How My Dad Cares For My Stepsister?
“My parents are divorced. My dad (37 m) married Gail (35 f) a few months ago.
Gail has a daughter, Olivia (12 f). I (13 f) don’t go to my mom’s that much.
Olivia’s dad doesn’t want to meet her. He didn’t want to have a kid. He pays child support.
My dad feels bad for Olivia and wants to be the dad she never had.
He takes her on Saturday father-daughter lunches, does movie nights with her, etc.
I feel bad for Olivia too, but my dad isn’t spending as much time with me anymore. He used to do father-daughter lunches with me too, but now, he spends lunch on Saturday with Olivia.
On movie nights, he lets Olivia choose. And she loves to re-watch movies. She’s watched Zootopia about nine times, each How to Train Your Dragon movie at least four, and already she’s watched Encanto twice.
He always tries to make Olivia happy before he makes me happy.
If we’re going on a family outing, he lets Olivia choose and not me.
I try not to get mad at Olivia because it isn’t really her fault, but it’s hard not to resent her.
We had a pie yesterday. We ate most of it.
Today when Olivia and I got home from school, I went to the kitchen and Olivia went to her room.
My dad got the 2 leftover pie slices out of the fridge. He gave one to Gail. I asked for the other. He said okay, but then Olivia walked into the kitchen and asked if she could have one.
My dad said ‘Sure Olivia, of course’ and handed her my pie (which I had not yet taken a bite out of). Olivia said thanks and walked away eating it. Gail had already bitten her pie.
I said (loudly) that I was tired of always being second to Olivia.
My dad said that I need to compromise, I can’t get everything I want, have some empathy for Olivia because her dad doesn’t want her, and it’s just a slice of pie. I went into my room and slammed the door, and now I’m writing this.
I know Olivia’s father isn’t in her life, but I don’t want her to take mine. I don’t know. He’s giving her more attention, more love it seems. But maybe I’m just being selfish. He keeps offering to go buy more pie, but it’s not about the stupid pie.
Maybe I’m not used to having a younger sister.
AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Banning My Roommate's Significant Other From Using My Kitchen?
“I own my house and my roommate rents my other room. His room is in the basement which has a bedroom, a den, and a bathroom. The only shared space we really have is the kitchen and yard. I don’t have a problem with him having friends or company over, but when he moved in, I did make it clear to him that guests weren’t allowed to stay long enough to be considered a resident because I only want one other person living in my house.
That’s all I can really handle.
Usually, there’s no issue between us over the kitchen since we both clean up after ourselves. The problem is his significant other. He’s been with her a few months now and since she started coming over, she leaves the kitchen a wreck whenever she uses it.
Twice now she’s gotten milk at some point in the night and left the container on the counter. When they cook together, he cleans up and there’s no issue. When she makes something for herself, she doesn’t clean up. I’ll go into the kitchen and there will be knives and cutting boards out.
Crumbs and bits of vegetables or cheese on the counter. Dishes piled in the sink. I can live with the dishes not being taken care of right away but at least clean up the crap left behind in case I need to use the kitchen after her.
I’ve talked to him about this a few times already and he’s said he’ll talk to her. Whether he has or not, nothing has changed.
The other day he got called in to work on his day off and left about 2 hours before I had to go.
I let her know when I’d be leaving so she could leave before then so I could lock up. Come out of my room and the kitchen is yet again wrecked and she was already gone. Left half a plate of food on the counter.
Egg shells, raw bacon on the counter, stuff on the stove. I took pictures of it all, cleaned it up quickly, and went to work.
I shot my roomie a message we needed to talk when we were both home. Got home, showed him the pictures and told him what happened, and told him I was done with the mess.
I told him she could still come over but she wasn’t allowed to use the kitchen anymore unless they were cooking together since that’s the only time there isn’t a mess after her. He asked me what about if she gets hungry while visiting and he’s not and I told him that’s not my problem.
He can cook with her, she can bring something from her place or she can order something or go out but I was done having the same conversation over and over about the same subject. He agreed to it but has been making off-hand comments the last couple of days about me treating her unfairly since I now won’t let her use the kitchen in addition to not wanting her to have a key.
AITJ for not letting her use the kitchen?
Edit: When he asked what was he to do if she got hungry when she was visiting and he’s not, I mean he’s not hungry, not that he’s not home. I don’t allow her to visit when he’s not home.
That incident was the first time she was there without him because he was supposed to be off but got called in.”
12. AITJ For Being Mad At My Coworker For Messing Up My Pens?
“We have a pretty lax work environment at my job, and I love my coworkers. I value their opinions and I have no problem with accommodating them at all. I have a weird complex about hurting people’s feelings, and this has bothered me way more than it should.
When I first started my job around a year and a half ago, I would keep my pens in my lab coat and they would disappear constantly. I’d argue that that’s what I get for leaving my pens out, but I also think it’s appropriate to want to keep my pen throughout my shift at least. I was joking with one of my coworkers and labeled one of my pens to say ‘eat crap, pen stealer’ and we laughed to find out it was our center manager, who thought it was hilarious.
I’ve kept my pen in my scrubs since then and I haven’t lost it to anyone yet.
BUT NOW
I let my friend borrow it for her nighttime shift, and she left it in a drawer to return to me when I came to work in the morning.
I was supposed to work the next day, but our center closed for bad weather through until Friday, and I was off this weekend. One of my coworkers found my pen and scratched the label off this weekend, and I was really concerned because I didn’t know she had been upset by it.
So I talked to her today, and she told me that my pen was unprofessional (truth), in the way (truth?), and that NOBODY gets to have their own pens. She said if she saw any of my pens, she was going to take them and take their labels off.
I told her I didn’t mind censoring or even getting rid of them if she had just told me, and I don’t mind if it really bothers her, but she was not budging on messing up my pens.
Now I’M mad, and in a moment of rage I went to the bathroom and ordered 300 customized pens that say ‘you suck pen stealer’ and ‘we live in a society’.
My thought is that I can give them to whoever wants one, and if she wants to take them all, she’ll have to get some acetone and an assembly line to make a dent in this plague I’m about to infect our center with.
I think I let my anger get the best of me.
AITJ for raging about my crappy pen? And WIBTJ for going through with my evil plan?
I have the feeling I am.”
11. AITJ For Wanting My Partner To Pay For My Dad's Model Ship?
“My (F 33) dad passed away and left me one of his last and favorite ship models.
I had it on display in my living room but for some reason, I never actually mentioned it to my partner (M 37) of 6 months. Maybe because we don’t live together and he doesn’t visit often.
The other day he and his friends came over to my place to celebrate his birthday.
They got wasted and started throwing the sofa’s pillows at each other. I told them to stop then went into the kitchen to clean up.
I then started hearing a loud noise. I walked out of the kitchen and saw my model ship in my partner’s hands.
I rushed to get it but he passed it on to his friend, and then his friend passed it on to the other friend.
I started running around trying to catch it while yelling at them to stop then my partner grabbed it again. I was so angry I told him to hand it over but he said I needed to kiss him first. I yelled at him and he tried to throw it at his friend who tried to catch it but it missed and hit the wall and broke.
I lost it! I kicked all of his friends out and then had a fight with him telling him this was a sentimental item from Dad and demanding that he pay me $3,500 because this is how much it costs. He left then called in the morning asking if I was serious about wanting him to pay $3,500 and I said I was dead serious.
He started making excuses saying he was wasted and also, I never told him about this ship and how important it was for me before both monetarily and sentimentally so that’s on me. We had another fight and then I hung up upon telling him I’m expecting the 3,500 and that I wasn’t afraid to take the legal route if I have to.
He kept texting asking me to let it go and saying it was cruel of me to threaten him with the law. He had his friends apologize thinking this would be it but I insisted that he pay me.
I get that I might’ve got worked up over an item and treated my partner badly but to me, it seemed like recklessness on his part.
AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Snapping At Another Customer At The Salon?
“I had a hair appointment this morning for a cut, color, and blowout. I have been seeing my stylist for about six years now, and absolutely love her.
During my appointment, another client came in and my stylist greeted her and informed them she was just finishing my foils and was getting ready to put me under the dryer and she would be ready for her in about 10 minutes.
The woman sat down and right away started asking my stylist about a hair product. My stylist told her that they just started carrying it and they would talk about it when she was in the chair. Then she interrupted again and asked my stylist if she should go lighter or darker for her color.
My stylist again told her that they would talk about it when she was in the chair and again told her she was almost done. She then interrupted a third time and started asking about brow waxing. My stylist told her again that they would talk about what services she wanted when she was in the chair and asked her to sit down.
The fourth time she came over, I did not even give her the chance to speak I just told her that she was being very rude, that she was interrupting my scheduled appointment with her questions, and told her that she will have her own appointment to ask questions, but if she wouldn’t mind, I would like to have the stylist finish my foils without her coming over and forcing her to stop working.
The woman got upset and called me a nasty name and then left.
My stylist was quiet and finished my appointment, but I could tell that she was upset. I did apologize to her, but I could tell she was off for the rest of my appointment.
I was not trying to be mean, but it was getting annoying and the woman had her own appointment where she could have discussed all these things with the stylist that did not interrupt my time with her.
AITJ for snapping at the woman?”
9. AITJ For Helping With My Niece's Scalp Problem?
“My partner and I (24 m & f) moved in with his parents almost a year ago, and my SIL (21 f) moved back in 2 months ago with her three babies (20 months f, 5 months f, twins), so the house is suddenly very crowded.
SIL has always struggled to cope with parenting, and my partner and I played a huge role in helping raise her oldest daughter, and MIL and I are constantly stepping in to help with the twins.
I don’t believe we’re overstepping, as often the only interaction SIL has with the twins is feeding time, and often leaves them in their bouncers in front of the tv while she smokes.
While I don’t have children myself, I was raised around babies and constantly cared for them while growing up and was a professional nanny for 4 years, so I like to think I have some experience with kids and babies.
The issue is, my twin nieces have dreadful cradle cap, and have had it for at least 3 months now.
It is big thick yellow scales on their heads that are greasy and actually has a smell to it now. SIL has shown no concern about it and believes it will go away on its own.
MIL recently bought a scalp cream to apply on the cradle cap, and today while holding one of the twins, I noticed some flakes lifting up.
I got the soft bristle hair brush specifically for babies and very gently, no pressure added brushed forward and backward over it a few times and the amount that came off was horrifying. It kept coming off and the brush was covered in it, and the baby didn’t seem to mind at all, there was no crying or reacting or anything.
MIL was in the room with me and I asked for her opinion before I started brushing and she was watching in awe the amount of stuff that was coming off this kid’s head.
After brushing through one, I put a warm washcloth on her scalp and then applied more of the scalp soothing cream, and then repeated with the other twin.
Both their scalps look so much better already, and when SIL came back inside from a smoke break, I told her exactly what I did and she nodded and acknowledged it, but when I left the room I heard her go off at MIL for letting me ‘touch their heads and use a brush on their soft spots, and how I could have done serious damage and the cradle cap would have gone away on its own.’
Ever since she’s been super frosty towards me.
So AITJ? I understand that I may have overstepped, but at the same time, she wasn’t doing anything about the cradle cap and wasn’t going to. It was that thick it had a smell, and with MIL buying the cream for it I clearly wasn’t the only one who thought something needed to be done.”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting To Help Fund My Stepdaughter's Second Wedding?
“My stepdaughter ‘Jane’ is getting married soon and my husband wants to pay for something.
He has had a difficult history with Jane. When he began going out with me she was very aggressive and rude. He tried to set boundaries but she was out of control. He ended up saying he wouldn’t pay for college due to how disrespectful she was being.
Jane began seeing a much older man with money, got pregnant at 19, and he married her. They had a shotgun wedding and an extremely toxic relationship, but by the time Jane left him she had a master’s degree he had fully paid for, a great career, and she got a large payout in the divorce.
Needless to say, Jane is doing well.
Jane is getting married now. The man she is marrying has even more money than her and they live very well. Jane’s son is also getting married and Jane isn’t contributing at all because she doesn’t like the bride.
Our daughter together is a sophomore in college and has been with her partner since high school and hopes to marry him when she graduates.
Originally we thought we would give Jane and our daughter 30K each when they married, but then Jane skipped the wedding the first time.
My husband brought up that he wants to give it to her now and I said I don’t see the point when she is doing so well financially, plus she isn’t young and just starting out. She owns two homes, her son is an adult, there is no reason she can’t pay.
He said he feels guilty and wants to offer it to her (I do think she will decline) I suggested we either add it to our daughter’s wedding fund or give some to Jane’s poor son who she cut off financially. The money could really help either of them and would mean nothing to Jane.
My husband accused me of just wanting to punish her for being a bad teenager and of wanting everything for our bio daughter. He agreed to compromise and asked about just paying for her dress (9K) I still said I don’t think it is right for a second wedding when we have two couples just starting out.
To be clear Jane has never asked for anything and I don’t judge her at all for wanting extravagant things, I just think she needs to pay for them when she has more than enough money.”
7. AITJ For Thinking My Brother Having A Divorce Party While His Wife Was In The Hospital Is In Poor Taste?
“2 months ago my older brother ‘Doug’ (34 M) had his divorce finalized after a very lengthy process.
Last week he invited me (26 M) and a large group of his friends to a divorce party/house-warming party at his new place.
Now, usually, I have nothing against the concept of divorce parties, however in this case I believe it would be in very poor taste…
During the divorce process, Doug’s then-soon-to-be ex-wife ‘Bianca’ (35 F) had an unexpected trip to the hospital and was later diagnosed with a terminal illness. She went downhill fast and while dealing with the divorce she was constantly in and out of hospital (which drew out the divorce process a lot because she was often too unwell to deal with it).
At the time of writing this, I believe she’s currently in the hospital again.
So I told my brother I had no problem with divorce parties in principle but I believe it was in extremely poor taste to celebrate his divorce whilst his ex-wife was in hospital dying of a terminal illness.
I suggested he cancel the party or at least change it to just a housewarming and remove any reference to it being about his divorce.
He refused and said his divorce party had nothing to do with Bianca and was more about celebrating his new freedom away from a bad marriage.
I told him if he went through with the divorce party I wouldn’t be attending because I think it’s still poor taste regardless of what he thinks. After that, he called me a jerk and accused me of deliberately trying to guilt him out of having a party that would celebrate his next stage of life.
After speaking to my friends, some are on my side but others think Doug having a divorce party wouldn’t be a big deal as long as he didn’t rub it in her face.
So AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Reporting My Sister-In-Law's Neglect To The Police?
“I (f 27) have a brother (m 33) who got into a serious accident resulting in him being bedridden for the past few weeks. Now I have to say that his wife AKA my SILand I do not get along but we do tolerate each other and try to be civil.
Last week I got a call at 11 am from my brother telling me he had just woken up and his wife wasn’t home. I asked how so and he said he called for her but got no answer, he also said he called her phone but she didn’t pick up.
I was mad because this is just flat-out neglect and it wasn’t the first time she did it. My brother begged that I come to help him because he accidentally wet the bed. But I hung up and called the police to report this incident anonymously, the call was a welfare check and when the cops arrived, my SIL was still out of the house.
Hours later my SIL called me and was yelling names like crazy at me for calling the cops on her just because she was just out running errands, I told her it was her fault for leaving her bedridden husband home alone unattended but she said he was asleep but still anything could have happened.
She argued that I just got her in a problem with the police that was totally avoidable and said I should’ve come helped my brother when he called, instead of going to the police to ‘teach her a lesson’. From that, I figured my brother told her it was me who called the cops.
I hung up on her but she sent my family after me and they said I shouldn’t have called the cops but I explained that SIL did this to herself by acting neglectful yet I got called a judgmental jerk with nothing but spite for my SIL and zero concern for my brother but that was not true.
I don’t know what she told them but I’m clearing the air tomorrow though my family insists I messed up and caused unnecessary problems to my already struggling SIL.”
5. AITJ For Going Off At My Parents For Placing A Lot Of Responsibilities On Me?
“I (25 F) moved back in with my family (Mom 50 F, Dad 53 M, and Sis 16 F) after I found out I was pregnant a year ago.
Originally I was gonna just move into my own place since my partner and I broke up right before I found out, but my parents offered me to move in with no rent and free babysitting in the evenings so I could work (freelance so any hours are fine).
I eventually accepted because I thought it was a gesture on their behalf to help fix our semi-rocky relationship.
It turns out that in exchange they expect me to be basically their mother. I wake them up for work, do all their laundry, make their breakfast and coffee, make and pack their lunches, lay out their clothes, cook dinner the vast majority of the time, take care of all the pets even though I don’t have any, make the grocery lists and do all the shopping (and pay for it all, but that’s not a big deal), etc. I basically am told to be a 1950s housewife but then scolded when I don’t have enough time to work.
Oh, and I haven’t been without my kid longer than 20 minutes ever. They don’t babysit and I still usually have to pay rent despite barely being able to work, and now I can’t afford daycare to be able to work more, so I’m stuck.
There’s a lot of other stuff going on, but it’s mostly them treating me like their parent. Today I snapped and screamed at them because the dog wasn’t feeling well so I was walking her around and trying to take care of her, so I forgot about laying out their clothes.
Mom was slightly annoyed but Dad started screaming at me, outside in front of the neighbors, that I was lazy, ungrateful, etc.
I screamed back that if they would grow up and do their own business I wouldn’t have to act like their mother and that I didn’t know how they managed for three years without me.
He started calling me names and I just kept saying ‘I’m not your mother’ as I went inside.
I’m on the family plan and despite paying for the entire phone bill, my phone got cut off because they’re mad. AITJ? I don’t have many friends to ask but they are letting me pay way cheaper rent and I don’t have to pay the majority of utilities except 1/2 electric.
Edit: this is all new behavior. When I was a kid they never acted like this. Dad has always been a LITTLE bit of a man-child, but not to this extent, and Mom didn’t even like her mom taking care of her like this when she was a kid to the point my Granny STILL complains about it, so I have no idea where this behavior came from.
I kind of think that makes it worse because it never occurred to me that this was a possibility
Edit 2: the father isn’t involved so he doesn’t pay child support/ever watch the baby and it’s not a risk-worthy venture to get him to pay or have him be alone with the baby for me to be able to work more.”
4. AITJ For Being Offended By A Dog's Actions?
“I (25 f) have been seeing Michael (31 m) for a while now. He’s a really funny (a bit too sarcastic though) guy and we pretty much get along well.
We’ve been together for 4 months.
Michael likes the food I cook and he wanted me to come to his house to cook him dinner and also meet his dog for the first time (I only saw him in pictures/videos. He’s overprotective of him).
I grabbed all I needed from the store and went over to his house.
All went well. I met his dog then we sat down to talk. Suddenly his dog started moving in a funny way. Michael was laughing while looking at me, I felt confused I asked him what the dog was doing and Michael said that the dog was telling him about me.
I was like ‘Ummm okay?’ and then he flat-out said that the dog thought I was ‘ugly’. This shocked me completely. I looked at Michael and asked if he was serious. He started explaining that his dog is ‘like that’ with ‘some’ people and that I shouldn’t get offended over an ‘animal’s behavior’.
I felt horrible because I, as a person always struggled with self-esteem and am no stranger to the word ‘ugly’ my issue wasn’t with the dog but with what Michael said. It’s like he was indirectly giving HIS opinion about my looks and using his dog as an excuse.
Long story short we had an argument and I ended up canceling dinner and going home. Michael called several times then when I picked up he was lashing out the entire time saying that I overreacted and that I cannot blame him and punish him for something his dog did.
He advised me to get rid of the ‘toxic’ sensitivity I have and deal with whatever insecurity I have as soon as possible because what happened will set the tone for our relationship and eventually our marriage later.
I did respond later which caused another argument.
My sister said I messed things up with my stupidity and that I should’ve laughed it off but for some reason, I wasn’t able to.
Did I overreact here?”
3. AITJ For Saying I Don't Owe My Parents Anything?
“I grow up in a semi-conservative household where I (27 F) and my brother (21 M) lived fairly free, but. I was portrayed as a ‘problem child’ because of my rebellious nature since my teenage years because I didn’t want to comply with social gender roles.
I move out for college 8 years ago and now I live in my rented apartment with my brother and 2 cats for almost 4 years. Since, my parents commented on my life but nothing serious happened and I always talk back when they criticize my way of life like drinking, tattoos, etc.
My partner (30 M) and I like to hang out in his home playing PS5. So I often stay with him 2-3 days a week. We are in a serious relationship and we were thinking about getting married. But our relationship is fairly new and I decided to postpone our marriage plans since I don’t want to deal with planning and it is still early for us.
So we decided to meet my parents, specifically my dad to show our respect and intentions, then we will see, no rush.
Yesterday I was at my partner’s and my dad called me at 3 am. I denied it because usually Dad would be calling me while he was wasted and I didn’t want to deal with him.
But he called again and this time around I was worried that something happened, so I picked up. He asked me where I am and I told him I was at a friend’s. Then he started to yell and curse at me. He said many things but mainly I made him a ‘p**p’ (implying I am a flirt by staying with my partner), and he is very distraught by my careless and disrespectful life.
I told him that he is wasted and I don’t wanna talk with him in this state, I will call him tomorrow. He insisted and called me names and demanded that I and my ‘inglorious’ partner came to meet with him and make things serious by getting engaged or something.
I yelled at him back at some point by saying he can’t talk to me like that and after this, we would never come to meet him and hang up. My partner heard all the curses aimed at me and himself, along with his family.
My dad has a heart condition and is known for doing impulsive things like driving under the influence. That’s why I called my mom to inform her but I was very distraught at this point and started to yell at her to control her husband or I will go no contact with him.
Mom is a nurse, she was on the night shift so she called Dad. After some time, she called me back and said dad was wrong cursing me but he has a point, I shouldn’t stay at my partner’s since my dad can’t stomach this as a ‘girl dad’.
I told her to be on my side as a woman and a mom just once but not as lousy as this. She said she is by my side but I owe them to not stay at my partner’s unless my partner is my fiancé or something.
I told her I don’t owe them anything, I worked hard to move out to a different city and live as my own and I won’t give it up because of their ‘worldview’. She was audibly hurt by this but she didn’t say anything. I don’t think I am wrong but I berated my mom even though she didn’t participate in my dad’s behavior.
AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Making My Mom Choose Between Her Husband And Me And My Baby?
“We recently had a financial setback and decided to stay with my mom for a couple of months.
My mom and my wife don’t really get along. It isn’t too bad, but it has been tense since we moved in. Yesterday was her husband’s birthday and she had people over.
My wife and I were just standing outside and one of her husband’s friends ‘Rick’ arrived. My mom introduced us and Rick was like wait this is your DIL, and then just started laughing.
My mom was like oh my god you are such a jerk but kind of laughed as well, and then pushed Rick away.
I immediately asked what that was about and my mom tried to brush it off. I demanded an answer and she said she doesn’t know Rick is just a jerk.
I still don’t totally get what they were laughing at, but I went over to my mother’s husband ‘James’ and told him that Rick was being abusive and needed to get out.
James said it is his house, his party, his friend, and Rick isn’t going anywhere.
My mom came over and said James was right, it isn’t my house, and Rick is his closest friend, so of course he wants him there. I got annoyed and said it is my mom’s house too, so she can ask Rick to leave. She refused and I was furious.
I told her that we were moving out soon, so this was the moment she needed to choose and whatever she did would determine what type of grandmother she would be. My mom got really mad, called me dramatic, and told me to take my baby and get lost. I was like fine pick your husband over your kid and left. She yelled at me that I’m insane and of course, her husband comes before me.
She still won’t talk to me today. I feel good in standing up for my wife.”
1. AITJ For Telling My Coworker Not To Bring Cakes Every Day?
“I have a coworker who’s a hobby baker and often brings their finished products into the office to share with everyone.
This would be perfectly fine once in a while, but it’s nearly every day and was getting a bit excessive.
I don’t want to be tempted by sweets every day and it is unhealthy and upsetting to see my coworkers being led into unhealthy lifestyles by the sheer convenience of the sweets. They surely wouldn’t be eating as many cakes etc. if they weren’t brought in each day.
I was certain (and honestly still am) that others feel the same way but did not have the willpower to speak up about it.
So last week I mentioned to my coworker that it was nice they wanted to share with us but perhaps they should just choose their best creation once a week and bring that in rather than bombarding us with sugar and fat every day since it will take a toll on people’s health in the long term.
She assumed I was speaking on behalf of my coworkers (in a way I was, which is where I might’ve messed up) and stopped bringing in sweets. But later a few asked her why she’d stopped baking and now my coworkers are upset with me that I asked her to stop bringing things in.
They said if I didn’t want to have her snacks that was my prerogative but that it was uncalled for for me to speak on behalf of everybody or to tell our baking coworker what to do/suggest she has having a negative impact by sharing.
(Apparently, her feelings were hurt for whatever reason – though I hadn’t said anything personal. I still feel bad about it though as it was not the intention.)
I feel I was just speaking my mind and looking out for everyone’s best interests. But I like and respect my coworkers for the most part, so I’m worried they have a point about how I went about what I did even if my intention was right.
So, AITJ for telling my coworker she should not bring cakes in every day? Or was I just the only one who would speak up for everyone’s best interests?”
