People Share Their Flawlessly Executed Revenge Stories

Just when everything starts to go well in your life – bang! A colleague starts giving you a hard time for no reason. Your neighbors don’t like being told what they can and can’t do and consequently decide to make your life a living nightmare. Your sublet decides he doesn’t want to work, or pay rent or leave the apartment – ever again. Why do people gotta be like that? Why do they have to make life harder than it needs to be? No matter. These poor fools have no idea who they’re messing with. If they want to play ball, they better get ready to bat.

Below are some golden stories of people who thought they could get away with bad behavior. They thought their actions would go unpunished. They thought they could continue to scrape by. Nope. Not this time. These delinquents have met their match – ruthless people who know how to pull off a slick act of revenge. So good, they couldn’t have ever seen it coming. So flawless, they don’t know what hit ’em. Yep, read on for some carefully selected stories that will totally tickle that justice bone of yours and have you howling with delight.

Giddy up!

14. Cheat On Mom? I’ll Air You Out To Dry, Dad

“About two and a half years ago I began to suspect my Dad was cheating on my Mom.
He would frequently come home late with no explanation and often left for multiple days on “business trips”. He was emotionally abusive, quite neglectful of the family and very narcissistic. He made my mother heavily depressed and all but destroyed her self confidence. Unfortunately, she either couldn’t see it or didn’t want to see it, so after years of his ********, I decided to call him out on it.

When I confronted him about it he denied everything and my mother sided with him. It was at that point I decided I didn’t care about the consequences and set up a fake account of a girl in her late 20s using pictures on the internet. After sending a bunch of friend requests so it didn’t look like a fake account, I added my Dad and proceeded to start texting him.

Almost immediately he began to flirt and eventually asked to meet up.

I made up a few excuses and such to bide some time and started sending much more explicit messages. He sent them back and I finally had enough to expose him to the rest of my family. I sat down with Mom and showed her the messages.

At first, she was screaming at me and refused to speak to me for a few days (I don’t blame her one bit.
What I did was obviously morally grey but she deserved to know.) Eventually, she sat down with me again and told me she was going to confront Dad about it, I knew then in that chat that things between us would never be exactly the same again, and that still holds up today.

She confronted Dad who tried everything to weasel his way out of it but there was nothing he could do. They divorced shortly after my mom and I moved out to a smaller house. Although things are still being repaired between us, I don’t regret it at all. She is much happier in her day-to-day life and is thinking of getting back into dating soon. I stopped all contact with my Dad since, but I know that shortly after the divorce he got a new girlfriend.” [deleted]

13. Want To Be The Worst Neighbor Ever? Ok, I’ll Just Become Your Landlord

“My husband and I are in our late 30s and childfree.

Some people on childfree said I should post here too, so enjoy the saga.

My husband and I had been saving up for almost a decade to move to a tropical paradise. About two years ago, we bit the bullet and moved to our dream location! Housing here is SUPER expensive (like Hawaii prices), so all we could afford was half of a duplex.
It is beautiful and on the water with places for our boat. Unfortunately, Karen, BillyBob (the boyfriend), and her three gremlins live in the other unit.

Setup:

There is some period of time we just went for a week here and there, but we live here fulltime now. The entire duplex was owned by an older gentleman who rented out both sides. The sides do not match at all. One side is a 5-bedroom, 3 baths. The other side of the duplex is a 2-bedroom, 1 bath. We bought the 5-bedroom. On our side of the property, we have 90% of the backyard, a gazebo, and dockage (about 150′ since it is on a corner).

The other side has a small backyard, patio, and maybe 15′ of dockage.

The rental leases say the renters are entitled to their specific backyards, but they were no fences or anything, so all the renters shared the entire backyard. After we bought the house, Karen immediately tried to throw her weight around that they expected to continue with that privilege. I told her if she asked politely, we would try to accommodate her. She thought this meant she could use our backyard whenever she wanted.

Party Incident:

One day my husband and I are enjoying some drinks outside when a delivery truck shows to set up a giant blowup thing in our backyard.
I asked Karen *** she thought she was doing and she said it was her kid’s birthday. Then she had the gall to say it was a family and friends only event, so we had to stay inside our house! Not wanting to be a total ****** and ruin some little girl’s birthday, I told Karen after this she had no access to our backward, period.

Karen shrugged and kept setting up for the party.

During the party, a drunk adult wandered into our house which shocked us all. I said Karen’s house is the other side and he said, “Oh, Karen said she owned the whole property and to use whichever bathroom was available.” I directed him to Karen’s bathroom and soon after she came STORMING into our house, screaming about how dare we make her look bad to her friends and how selfish we are we couldn’t even spare one bathroom.

She said we didn’t deserve all this space with just us. I told Karen to get the **** out of my house or I would be calling the cops. She finally left and the party wrapped up shortly after.

Backyard Remodel:

After the party incident, we decided we needed to clearly define the backyard and build a fence.
While we were spending the money, we decided to update the patio, put in a fire pit, and an outdoor kitchen.

While the contractor was on site, nosy Karen had to come to investigate. Since the fence would be the last thing built, I was vague and just stuck to telling her about the patio update. You could see her face light up because of course in her mind, what’s ours is hers.

When the workers started on the fence, Karen came out SCREAMING for the work to stop. I went outside and told the workers to keep working and told Karen to butt out.

Of course in true Karen fashion…SHE CALLED THE COPS. What happened next was hilarity on my part after explaining to the cop that we were building a fence on OUR property and the landlord, of which Karen was NOT, knew about it. When the cop gave Karen a stern lecture, I thought her head was going to explode. She went back into her house and slammed the sliding door so hard it sounded like something cracked.

We got our fence and I thought that would be in the end, but of course not.

The Boat Incident:

One day, BillyBob entered the picture and he was as much a terrible neighbor as Karen.
He would throw cigarette butts and empty beer cans over our fence for “disrespecting his woman”. I didn’t know paradise had trailer trash, but BillyBob is the epitome of the stereotype.

BillyBob has a boat. A 30′ fishing boat to be precise. Of course, that side of the duplex only has 15′ of dockage.

Since we have so much dockage and only one boat, we rent out the other dockage spots as month-to-month. People come and go, so if we don’t receive rent from them by the end of the month and the boat disappears, we think nothing of it.

We had a renter who tied up their boat on the property line, but BillyBob wanted to park his boat and needed that space. Karen and BilliyBob posed as us (we were out of town), told the renters to be gone at the end of the month, and then parked BillyBob’s boat on the dockage.

I only found out about it weeks later because the renter left a nasty review on the rental site we use. They said we were rude and went back on the verbal agreement to let them stay for 3 more months. I was like “what the **** is all this?” After a phone call, I quickly put 2 and 2 together.
I called the cops who told Karen and BillyBob they need to move their boat or it would be “towed” (the equivalent of it anyway).

Karen and BillyBob started screaming the boat is fully on their property (it isn’t), then changed to no one can own the water (true, but a seawall is deeded), that we are liars, and at some point, BillyBob punched a cop and went to jail (I felt bad for the cops, so took them all snacks the next day with a note apologizing for neighbor drama). I ended up winning my small claims suit against them for lost rental income, but of course, haven’t seen a dime.

I eventually convinced the dockage renters to come back and gave them a few months free as compensation.

Final Revenge:

If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! Get ready for a juicy justice *****.

So with the collapsing market, we were trying to figure out what to do with our savings when a perfect opportunity opened up. The landlord who owned both properties was in desperate need of some cash and was tired of managing the property from 2000 miles away (because of course Karen is a Karen and called him weekly for every little thing).

His only stipulation was we let the “poor single mom who has been his renter for 8 years” finish her lease, which is up in July.

Since we just have money we were trying to reinvest and because now we get to control our neighbors, heck yeah we jumped on that! Since we didn’t need a realtor or mortgage and an inspection had been done just a year ago for the old landlord to refinance, everything closed in just under two weeks.

Karen was aware of a change of ownership (we registered the property under an LLC), but didn’t know who…until 8 days ago. I went over to Karen’s house and knocked on the door. Karen answered with a “what the **** do you want, ***?*” I smiled, handed her our landlord information, and sweetly reminded her rent was due by Friday, but she could just hand me the check if that was easier. I’ve always heard descriptions of people’s faces turning white, but this was the first time I have actually seen it!

I told Karen that we are honoring her lease until the end of July, but afterward, she had better make plans to move because we instead to remodel it before these next tenants moved in.

Bye ****.

Edit*: A lot of people misunderstood the beginning. Let’s call our side of the duplex, Duplex OP. The other duplex is Duplex Karen.

We purchased Duplex OP. After we bought it, Duplex OP was no longer a rental. Both Duplex OP and Duplex Karen were for sale independently, but we only had the money to buy Duplex OP. Duplex Karen is still a rental because it has never sold.

Now we own both Duplex OP and Duplex Karen.

Duplex Karen is still a rental. Duplex OP is still not a rental. When we made property improvements to Duplex OP, it was ours and not a rental.” unique_username504

12. Disturb Our Sleep? We’ll Disturb You

“My dad works a carpentry job, and so is up quite early to leave for it. I’m a student, so I often get up early as well to get ready and walk to school. Up early and to bed late for both of us, in short.

That means (of course) that our few hours of sleep are absolutely sacred.

One summer, I ended up breaking up a party our neighbors were having. They were setting off fireworks, and my dad (veteran) was practically beside himself, and couldn’t relax. He ended up leaving the house to drive further away, and I called the cops to ask them to break it up.
I don’t know who told the kids that it was me and my dad who ruined their fun, but either way, they decided they needed revenge.

The next night was a Saturday, I’m in bed with the idea of sleeping in, as is my dad. At about 3 am, our doorbell goes off. We have a loud doorbell, and we’re both light sleepers. My dad jolts awake in panic (loud noises) and I almost fall out of bed. We go to the door.. and no one’s there. We got ding **** ditched. At 3 am.

Next night, it happened again, around the same time (AKA: the middle of the night) this time, my dad looks out the window in time, and we see the neighbors’ kids running back to their house.

Next night, same deal. The doorbell goes off repeatedly at 3 am, they run away as soon as we get out of bed. Both my dad and I have trouble falling asleep after it and are both incredibly sleep-deprived by that point. Next day, we decide we have to do something. These kids are being absolute *****. We ended up both skipping school/work to plan and catch up on sleep during the day.
That night, we were ready.

My dad and I get up at around 1 am and silently creep downstairs to wait by the door. We’re both wearing the same outfit, which is: military cargo pants, no shirt, and red and black warpaint on our faces and chests. My dad has his grandfather’s rifle in hand (doesn’t fire, but they don’t need to know that) and I’m holding a hatchet. Nearly fell asleep while waiting, but my dad ends up shaking me awake around 2 am.

Footsteps from outside, and giggles. I could barely suppress my grin. My dad quietly unlocked the door and kept a hand on the doorknob. The second the kids rang the doorbell, he threw it open and started screaming. The kids nearly **** themselves, screamed loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood, and took off running. My dad and I followed, both waving our weapons and hollering at the top of our lungs. One of the kids ended up crying and yelling for us not to hurt him, and the other screamed so loud I thought he might tear a vocal cord.

Never seen two kids so utterly terrified. My dad and me chased them all the way back to their house, where they ended up waking up their parents and banging at the front door.
They were both crying at the end of it, probably out of fear of the fifty-something-year-old veteran with a gun, wearing warpaint and screaming at them.

They never tried waking us up again.” milk-eats-you

11. Won’t Move Out? I’ll Get My Trickster Friend To Move You Out

“This is a story about what my friend KP did to help his buddy get rid of a roommate who just wouldn’t move out.

What you have to understand is, KP is the sort of guy who will put far more effort into a scam than honest work would ever take. He lives for the flim-flam. In grade school, he had every puke ray and remote control fart box they sold. We spent our teenage years driving around to fast food restaurants and telling the manager that they got our order wrong in order to weasel some free food, or disconnecting the odometer on his mom’s scooter so we could joyride undetected.

KP’s family was wealthy but that didn’t matter. His car’s plates were always counterfeit, he was the guy who would hook up your cable, he ran a side business replicating “of age” stamps that all the local bars used, he ran a high-schooler speakeasy in his spare bedroom, he forged a dealer’s license to buy his RV wholesale, and to this day every time he walks into a restaurant, he goes right over to the server’s counter and grabs someone else’s chicken fingers and brings them to the table.

Nobody said these stories had to involve ethical people.

He dropped out of college first semester to go to one of those get-rich-quick seminars in Vegas and actually got it rich with one of those legal scams. You know, the bounced-check mini-lein one. So needless to say he doesn’t have to work and has actually spent his time pursuing one grift or another, from diamond cutting to inventing a new kind of lawnmower. They never go anywhere because his interest dries up quicker than the thousand dollars worth of deceased fish in his saltwater aquarium.

I wouldn’t be surprised if right now he was soaking the labels off of some wine bottles, or selling some counterfeit calamari. He lives for the flim-flam. But he’s also a volunteer firefighter, and that plays a small role.

His buddy, Shlemazel, got into a year-long lease for a one-bedroom apartment. Shortly after that, he and his girlfriend got pretty serious, and they decided to buy a house. He sublet his apartment to a guy who I’ll call the Guy On Our Couch (*****).

***** didn’t have a job and never paid rent. Ever. Shlemazel begged and pleaded and threatened. Nope- ***** didn’t budge. He didn’t have a job and rarely left the house.
Just smoked ***** all day and played video games. Shlemazel was living with his girlfriend and trying to apply for loans. Unpaid rent would look bad on his credit. He appealed to the landlord to initiate an eviction, but the landlord said “Your problem- **** you, pay me.” A few months went by and he’s paying this guy’s rent and getting a lot of empty promises and getting nowhere.

So he calls KP.

This is the sort of phone call KP lives for. He springs into action. The first thing he does is buy one of those pre-made websites that he sets up like a fake exterminator company. He gets them a 1-800 number and routes it to Shlemazel’s phone. Then he goes to Home Depot and buys Tyvek suits, masks, roach traps, and some of those little wand sprayers that exterminators use. He enlists the help of a friend, Mensch.

Then he rents a U-haul.

He grabs a toy he has called a Thermal Imaging Camera, or TIC, that firefighters use to find sources of heat in thick smoke. It looks like a very official piece of equipment.

Then they suit up and knock on *****’s door. “Annual Bug Insecticide!” they say.

***** comes to the door in a thick haze of smoke, eyes squinty.
“Huh?”

“Annual bug insecticide!” they say. “Have you lived here a year?” (They knew he hadn’t).

“Yep, every year we gotta spray your place. Here’s our card, you can call the office if you want.”

It helped a little that, being a filthy stoner, ***** did have a roach problem. So he lets them in and they start spraying the corners and scanning the walls with the TIC. “Yep, you can see their tracks everywhere. You got roaches in here.”

At this point, Mensch is taking long strips of roach traps and ripping them off the strip and frisbeeing them into the corners.

But he’s got gloves on and he’s having trouble tearing them. ***** is getting suspicious- these guys are exterminators and this guy can’t tear a roach trap off of a strip? In a stroke of genius, Mensch exclaims,

“Ahh, I hate when they give me the blue ones!” and throws the strip down.

They convince ***** that he must vacate the apartment for 24 hours. Go stay with a friend. Oh, you have a cat? Well, the cat can’t stay.

You gotta take it.

So as soon as the coast is clear the operation begins. They back the u-haul up to the door, and flag down a passing big guy.
“Hey, you wanna make fifty bucks helping us move?” Then they proceed to move all of *****’s stuff into the u-haul. A guy like that, what does he have? Some dirty sheets on a futon mattress, a TV, a slab of canned beans and ramen packs. A litterbox that hasn’t been changed since the Nixon administration.

When that’s done, Shlemazel, who has been manning the phones, sweeps in with a digital camera and takes pictures of the empty apartment. He’s scheduled an appointment with a locksmith, who arrives and changes the locks. They all head to a storage facility with the u-haul and unload *****’s stuff into a locker. Shlemazel takes a picture of that, too. Schlemazel goes to Kinko’s and prints out the digital pictures of the empty apartment and the full storage unit along with a sign.

***** returns to the apartment the next day to find a sign on the door that says, “Your stuff has all been moved into storage. Meet me at the storage unit at this place and time with your back rent to get your stuff back”. On the door is a picture of the empty apartment, and a full locker. His keys don’t work.
At the meeting time, ***** shows up with the cops. He’s called and told them that someone has stolen all of his stuff and is extorting him.

KP explains the real situation to the police and says that they may be interested in certain items among ******* stuff that resemble heavily used tobacco pipes and hookahs.

The cops, realizing exactly what has gone down, shake their heads. They know they can’t prove that the contraband is *******. They say KP can’t extort the back rent this way. Then they issue Gooch a summons for filing a false police report.

Shlemazel never got his back rent, but he did get his sublettor out.” johnnypayphone

Another User Comments:
“Oh, to have the money, the time, and the inclination to be a literal trickster, able to be summoned in times of need.” Echo_Located

10. Let Go Of A Tough Old Man? Better Get Ready To Pay Top Dollar

“My father told me this story at my granddad’s wake.

Some backstory about my granddad, he grew up in depression-era Virginia and slaved away in the coal mines in order to make ends meet. His only out was to join the Marine Corps, so he did. He fought in Korea and left the corps soon after the war ended.
He then somehow managed to get a job as a high school football coach in a county in SW Virginia despite no prior experience. This was fortuitous since he happened to have a knack for it.

He went on to coach for 35 years at the same school, racking up hundreds of games and a good win to loss ratio, while burning through wives and fighting roosters on the side, making a pretty penny at this as well. His career was going pretty good until they merged the school he was coaching at with one from a neighboring town. Due to the merger, there was only room for one head coach at this new super-school and the choice was between my granddad who had 35 years experience and by now almost a thousand games to his name and a guy with a poor win/loss record and only 150 games to his credit.

Obviously, the school board chose the inexperienced guy.

My granddad complained to the school district about this terrible, terrible decision and in response, they relieved him of all coaching duties and shoved him into teaching an eighth-grade health science class.

Now bear in mind, they did this to a man who had fought communists in Korea, had 3 teeth drilled out without anesthesia, fought roosters and always managed to charm the cops into leaving him alone and had survived working in coal mines in the 1940s.

By now, the man had no ***** to give.

My dad, at the time, was the starting quarterback for the school’s football team so he witnessed the ensuing battle firsthand.

My granddad decided that he didn’t want to teach eighth-grade health science and decided to make the school board suffer. The man never got sick and never took a day off in his entire career, so he had quite a few leave days saved up. He decided to take them all at once.

For the entire first semester, he only showed up to class on Mondays. The district brought suit against him but when the case went up in front of a judge, he looked at what they had done to provoke my granddad and promptly told them to f*ck off.

So for the next year and a half, my granddad only taught his classes once a week and cost the school board tens of thousands of dollars in substitute teacher fees, all the while fighting roosters and talking his way out of trouble in his newfound free time, in addition to getting full sick pay.

He nearly singlehandedly bankrupted the entire district for p*ssing him off. Finally, halfway through the next school year, the district offered him his old job back.
He politely declined, tendered his resignation, and almost immediately got snatched up by a district in the next county over.

9. Throw Me Under The Bus Now? I’ll Throw You Back Later

“Many years ago when I was in high school I had a part-time job working for a small convenience store. It was a small town so you got to know the customers and the people I worked with were really cool.

Eventually, I graduated from high school and got a better job so I moved on.

About 6 months after I quit I stopped in to get a few things (I still lived in the area). One of the guys that worked there asked if I had heard about LeAnn (an older woman who worked at the store). I told him I hadn’t. He told me she had been fired. I was shocked because she had been there for 10+ years.

He went on to tell me she got caught stealing cigarettes. He also told me that they discovered the missing cigs while I still worked there and she told management that she thought it was me stealing them. So they had been watching me very closely. Her mistake is that she kept stealing them after I left.
She was eventually caught and fired. It really p*ssed me off that she tried to blame me and get me fired to cover her own as*.

So about a year later I am in a store and I am looking for something. The store manager is nearby (managers in this store wear red vests) so I ask him where this item is. He takes me to it. Who happens to be working at this store and is on that aisle stocking a shelf? LeAnn. She sees me, smiles and says hi and even comes over and hugs me. The manager asks if we know each other and I say that we used to work together.

He nods his head then I said, “I used to like her until she started stealing from the store we worked for and tried to frame me for it. She was dumb enough to keep stealing after I left. So she tried to get me fired, but ended up getting herself fired.” When I turned to look at her she was white as a ghost and her eyes were really big. I looked at her and said, “It’s a small town.

You didn’t think I would find out?” With that, I walked away.
I saw her and the manager having a pretty heated, but quiet conversation as I left.

I don’t know if they fired her, but I enjoyed my revenge as I walked away.”yayalorde

Zero. *****. Given. I miss this man.” [deleted]

8. Mess With My Kids? I’ll Mess With Your Electrical Wiring

“So, I’ve got an acquaintance (Richard) who has always been of the “I know better than you” school of thought.

What makes it worse is that he literally received his Ph.D. in physics from one of my country’s top universities about 6 months ago, so he’s not a dummy. The problem is that he thinks that because he’s a physics genius, that means he knows better than everyone about everything.

Just an example, my kids are in Montessori schools. This is a decision my wife and I reached together, and we’re very happy with it. When he heard, he went on a 30-minute rant/lecture about how we’re throwing our money away and Montessori is nonsense.

When I told him that I had read and even professionally translated studies proving the opposite, and gave him some real-world examples (Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Sergey Brin, Jeff Bezos, Larry Page, etc.), he still would not admit he might not be 100% correct.
Not the subject of this revenge, but so you understand the person we’re dealing with.

Another thing that’s important to note is that Richard does NOT have Asperger’s or anything similar. We joke about this all the time, and he’s been tested from here until next week.

He’s just a really smart, socially oblivious, pain in the butt.

Given all of the above, I try to limit my time with him, but unfortunately, that isn’t always possible, and last week we were both at the same group barbecue for a friend (Jack) who was visiting back home from overseas. I’ve known Jack since grade school, so we brought our families and made it more than just a “Long time, no see” type of thing.

At some point later on in the afternoon, my eldest (Awesome, <10 y/o) came to me really sad and said she wanted to go home. When I asked her why, she said that Richard had just spent 15 minutes telling her that she shouldn't eat hotdogs because they're unhealthy, and he explained what went into hotdogs and what they're made out of. Awesome is not a vegetarian, knows that the beef and chicken she eats used to be live animals, and has never professed interest in vegetarianism.

At the same time, when a kid is eating a hotdog, they don’t care or want to know what’s inside.

We spoke a bit, I calmed her down and I told her to ignore Richard and go play with her siblings and her friends. Being a kid, she was thankfully easily distracted by something else and moved on. I didn’t want to make a fuss with Jack or with Richard, so I just let it be. This turned out to be a mistake.

About 30 minutes later, I heard Awesome scream and begin crying. I ran over to her, Richard had come up to her and knocked her hotdog out of her hand, saying she shouldn’t eat that garbage. I handed Awesome over to my wife for damage control, and I took Richard aside and told him that A) You don’t ever talk to a man’s kids without permission, B) You don’t ever teach a man’s kids without permission, and C), You sure as sh*t don’t EVER touch a man’s kids without permission.

He doesn’t have kids, so I still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. This turned out to be a mistake.

Instead of doing the mature thing and moving on, he decided to double down on the hotdog issue.
This was the hill he was going to die on, my kids shouldn’t be eating hotdogs. Keeping Jack in mind, I disengaged and told him to stay the **** away from my family. For the rest of the BBQ, I kept my eye on him, and he didn’t come near them.

Jack enjoyed, we all ate some good meat, end of the story as far as I’m concerned. This turned out to be a mistake.

A few days later, we received a visit from a Child Protection Officer who claimed that we were neglecting our kids, specifically Awesome. She came in and saw that while the house could have been cleaner (what house with kids is spotless?), everything was fine. She sat with Awesome for a few minutes and asked her some questions, said everything was fine, and left.

The first thing I did was call a friend of mine who is a lawyer, just to be on the safe side. He said it looked to him like we were in the clear, but we should keep in touch with him just in case. Next, I began working the *********. It turned out that Richard had been offended by how I treated him after the hotdog incident, so he filed a false anonymous report.
Being Richard, and never thinking he could ever be wrong, he was even talking about it as if people should be proud of him for what he did.

I had to make sure, though, so the last thing I did before dropping the hammer on him was confronting him personally. I set my phone to record and went to his house. He doubled down yet again, saying we were torturing Awesome, he’s the one who called Protective Services on us, and he’d do it again in a heartbeat. This turned out to be a mistake.

I’m not the violent type, but I swear I wanted to break the son of a ***** in half.

I told him that if he came near myself or anyone in my family again, I’d have a restraining order put out on him, and I’d make sure every single one of our shared acquaintances knew why.

I listened to the recording in my car, and his admission that he filed a false report came out clear as day. I immediately forwarded it to my lawyer, who said he’ll get the ball rolling with some friends of his with the Public Prosecutor to see if we could get Richard in trouble, using his admission.

Still waiting on that, the wheels of justice turn slowly sometimes.

Then, I enacted my actual revenge. See, after he got his Ph.D., Richard bragged about the new flat he’d be moving into as soon as he sold his current flat. To that end, he renovated most of his current flat, including putting in lots of new (and expensive) features that required lots of electrical work. He did the same with his new flat. He did most of the electrical work himself, which is a big no-no unless you’re licensed.

I called in an inspector on both of his flats, who asked to see the certification on who did the electrical work. Obviously, there was no certification. It wouldn’t surprise me if, Richard being Richard, he began arguing with the inspector that his work was good enough and he didn’t need to pay someone else to do it for him.

I haven’t seen or spoken to Richard since, but I’ve heard that he had to bring in a certified electrician to examine every single change he made in both flats.

This meant dismantling EVERYTHING and having it inspected. Turns out the buyers of his old flat weren’t happy with the delay in receiving the keys and were even unhappier when they learned why there was a delay.
They walked away from the deal and are taking him to court. Because his sale fell through, he’s now in the hole paying mortgages on two flats. I don’t know if there was a fine levied against him, but I sure as **** hope so.

The lesson of the story – you don’t ever **** with a man’s kids.” beerbellybegone

7. Won’t Turn On The AC Until June? Not If I Have Anything To Do With It

“Back in 1993, I had just graduated from college. Since there weren’t any jobs anywhere near my home town, I moved to the Dallas area. I had a small bit of money left from college, but I knew it wouldn’t last. I found and rented the cheapest apartment that I could find.

A bit of background on this apartment complex. It used to be a nice complex and it used to be in a nice area. That was no longer the case. The area was completely rundown with most people either being unemployed, like me, or doing some sort of menial job. The actual apartment was not really an apartment. The original design for the complex had mainly 3 bedroom/2 bath apartments. At some point, they took the master bedroom, one of the bathrooms and one of the closets and made that into a separate apartment.

They called it an efficiency.

I’m sure some of you are reading that and trying to figure out where the kitchen was located. Short answer, it wasn’t. The “kitchen” was the closet. It had been a small walk-in closet. They put an apartment-sized refrigerator in it with a microwave on top of it. That was the kitchen. I didn’t particularly like it, but I was broke. What could I do?

I was looking for jobs for a few months and having no luck.

I spent much of my time in that little apartment. The trouble came in March. It started getting really hot. By mid-April, it felt like I was cooking during the day. My apartment had air conditioning, but it was blowing nothing but hot air. I went to the manager to complain. I was told that they didn’t turn on the compressor until June.

No way I would be able to make it until June. I had to do something.

I found a way to keep cool. One of the few places with working air conditioning that didn’t mind me loitering was the public library. We were actually close to a huge branch. I could grab a book and just sit there for hours.
But, it was still stifling when I went home.

Since I was at the library anyway, I started doing research on apartment regulations. It wasn’t too difficult. Heck, I had essentially done the same thing for years as a full-time student.

It was just research. The housing codes were located in a row of large books (back before the internet). I had nothing better to do, so I started going through them.

After a few days, I found some things that I thought might help and called the housing authority. They came right over to my apartment the next day actually.

Infraction 1: If the temperature with the apartment was above a certain level, air conditioning had to be available.

I think it was 80 degrees and it was 83 degrees in my apartment when they showed up.

Infraction 2: All apartments regardless of size had to have a working stove. Remember, I only had a microwave which was not considered a stove.

Infraction 3: All apartments regardless of size had to have a working sink in the kitchen. Again remember, I didn’t have a sink in the kitchen. I had to wash what few dishes I had in the bathtub.

The housing authority people said they’d take care of it and left.
Within another week, I got a notice from the apartment that they were going to put in a stove and sink. And, best of all, the AC started getting cool.

It doesn’t end there though. I was there when the workers were putting in the stove and sink. I was playing some video game. One of the workers saw it and started up a conversation since he liked video games.

I found out some interesting things.

First, the wiring wouldn’t handle the stove, so they had to do something to get it to work. They put one hole in my apartment and I heard them putting some more holes in the apartment next door. Don’t forget, those two apartments used to be the same apartment. The fuse box was in the other apartment.

Second, the flooring in the closet was carpeting. That was deemed unsafe to put a stove on, so they had to tear it out (just in the closet) and put down some type of tile.

Third, the closet did not have any place to attach the sink, so they had to go through the wall again to get to the bathroom to connect to the plumbing in there. I’m unsure how that worked since directly on the other side of the wall was the bathtub.
There was no exposed plumbing there.

All told, these changes cost about $10K (including parts and labor). I’m going by what I was told. I have no direct knowledge and the guy giving me this information was one of the regular workers and not any sort of management.

But, I did find out one other thing. It wasn’t just my apartment. It was all of the efficiency apartments. All 20 of them. If the numbers that I was given can be believed, that’d be approximately $200K.

All because it was hot.”  RuralRogue

6. Want To Destroy The House And Ruin Your Friendship? We’ll Help You Get There Faster

“A few years ago (when I was in my early 20’s), I moved in with a friend (we’ll call him Bob).

Bob was a bit of a heavy drinker and partier, but mainly did so outside the house, so it was really no inconvenience. It was me and my (long since ex) girlfriend also living there.

I had lost my job and been out of work for a while (not for lack of trying) in a very small town with not much to do for work. Bob worked 2 jobs (he loved money and drinking so much, he didn’t mind if he hardly had a life to get to enjoy it) and my girlfriend worked in a nursing home during the day.

I felt pretty worthless, since I was no longer the breadwinner anymore, but did what I could to help out. I got food stamps to take on the food situation for the household, cleaned, cooked and did whatever I could to keep anyone from needing to do a thing once they were done working for the day. It was literally the least I could do given the circumstances.

About a month or two into our living arrangements, Bob suggested his old high school buddy (we’ll call him ****) move in.

Bob explained that he worked on the boats and he would be gone for a month at a time and back for 2 weeks. Dry, rinse and repeat. My girlfriend and I thought, shouldn’t be a problem right? WRONG.

From moment one, day one, **** was a major passive-aggressive ******. Bob walked him over to introduce us and he shook my hand in a manner that he was obviously trying to crush my hand and intimidate me.

I could tell from how he looked and acted like an entitled ******, but what he did and said immediately after confirmed it.

“So, you don’t work but you live here, rent-free? It must be why Bob asked me to move in.
Sure is nice for you huh?”

Before I could say anything, Bob spoke up and clarified that while I didn’t work, I kept the house clean, cooked and kept the fridge stocked, I was not mooching. I was doing my part.

**** proceeded to say, “But his girlfriend works while he stays at home all day? That’s totally not cool, it should be you taking care of her. Not the other way around.”

While I totally agreed that I’d rather be there for her than the other way around, I didn’t need this jerk commenting and making assumptions that this is what I wanted or needed to hear.

“Look, I don’t enjoy being the one who stays at home while everyone else works.

I’d rather be out there working, contributing and doing something worthwhile. This is not something I chose. If someone called me and offered me a job right now, I’d take it in a heartbeat. I’d prefer it if you stopped inferring that I’m just a lazy bum,” I said as politely as I could, despite how angry I was.

**** looked at me like I grew a second head or something and told me to calm down like he hadn’t said anything that was the least bit insulting, even though he clearly had.

He didn’t apologize of course and he eventually met my girlfriend when she came home.

**** was very polite and proceeded to make passive passes at her. “We need to find you a working man,” or “You could use someone like me to treat you right.” My girlfriend was less than enthused by this and told him it was none of his business and she was more than happy with me. So, from the get-go, neither of us liked **** at all.

We resolved to keep as much space between him and us as possible.

Unfortunately, **** had about as much social awareness, social cues, personal boundaries, and proper etiquette as a rock. He constantly came barging into our living area (oftentimes before, after or during intimate time with my girlfriend), even after being told to either knock and be acknowledged to enter or not come in at all. Also, **** turned the upstairs half of the house into a 2-week long party central when he was home.

It was loud, between having over a dozen people all drunkenly stomping around and being outrageous, he was BLARING ear-splitting music. The entire house was vibrating! His parties were also causing a huge mess in both the house and yard, as well as damage.
**** and his buddies were also cleaning out the cupboards and fridge of all the food, effectively leaving the rest of us with nothing and having to rebuy the food out of pocket.

Bob was almost never home, he was either working or at a girlfriend’s place. Even when he was home, he came in so intoxicated that he would pass out so hard he couldn’t hear any of it. He also woke up hungover and rushing into work, so he hardly noticed all that was going on. My girlfriend and I sat down with Bob and explained the situation to him.

We explained that we had tried talking to **** and telling him that he needed to quit coming into our living area all the time and to either politely keep it down so my girlfriend could get some sleep for work or take it elsewhere.

We told him about the food, the major mess he was making and the damage to the house. Bob was livid. He told us that he’d have a talk with **** and fix it. We hoped that would fix the issue. WRONG.

This clearly, like everything else, didn’t get through. And from there, it only got worse.
The intrusions into our living area were more frequent, ruining our intimate life when **** was home and the parties got even bigger and more out of hand.

A couple of times, the neighbors actually called the cops on ****’s parties and he still wouldn’t calm down. It was a living ****.

We now knew that the situation would never improve and further complaints would only make it worse than before. We couldn’t move out given our financial situation and between us and **** (being Bob’s oldest and best friend), we didn’t want to risk getting kicked out for causing issues. So I began finding ways to get back at **** silently and without a way to try to link it to us.

Firstly, he had to do his laundry downstairs since that’s where the washer and dryer were located, in our living area. So whenever he had to put his laundry in the dryer, I’d stop it and pee in it before starting it up again. All his clothes and bedding smelled like straight-up urine and he couldn’t figure out why (**** wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed).

Secondly, whenever **** was gone, I’d go upstairs and dump out 75% of the alcohol out and replaced it with water.

This reduced how loud and rambunctious he’d get, with the added bonus of having to go out and get more alcohol in the middle of the night. Effectively, we cut down the disruption by 50%, but it still persisted.

Thirdly, I would also, just for fun, put his toothbrush in the dirty toilet while he was out and put it back. **** started complaining that he constantly tasted **** every time he used his toothbrush and that he couldn’t understand why.

This was just icing for me, but he actually had a lot of trouble hooking up with anyone because of it.

Eventually, despite all this, it didn’t rid us of either his presence or behavior and it was still taking its toll on my girlfriend. This had continued for a few months before I concocted a way to get him out of the house longer. **** always left on the last Sunday of his 2 weeks off in the morning to return to the boats.

He also had a big fancy truck with HUGE custom tires on it. These tires typically ran about $300 to $400 a tire and were special order tires, hard to find outside of ordering them online. So, I started putting nails under a couple of his tires before he left, so they’d puncture his tires when he left, but they wouldn’t go flat immediately.
He’d get to the boats fine, but his tires would be flat.

**** would have to stay a week or even the whole 2 weeks special ordering or tracking down new tires while he was stuck in the town he was in at a hotel.

My girlfriend and I would either have just one week of misery or the whole thing being peace and quiet. It was glorious. This continued for about 2 or 3 months before **** finally couldn’t take all his misfortune anymore. He told Bob he was moving out when he got back and that it was because everything was going wrong since he moved in. This was especially funny because Bob told us afterward that he was planning to ask **** to move out because he was trashing the house, driving up the utilities, eating all the food and refusing to pay the difference.

**** finally showed up a week late from the boats because of the tire situation, so there was no time for him to relax, between finding somewhere to put his stuff, somewhere to live and move everything. This took him all of his final week off to do. Finally, on his last day, **** came busting into our room and started being rude and saying he was leaving because everything had been going wrong and felt off since he moved in, clearly wanting sympathy or something.

We just nodded and said that’s tough while going about our business. **** just kept going on and on about everything, despite the fact that we weren’t paying him any attention and you could clearly see that we didn’t care about anything he had to say.

Finally, we both got fed up and just looked him in the eye and told him he had been a terrible roommate who had no respect for anyone and that he deserved everything that was happening to him, and then some.

He stormed off and we never saw him again. Bob did tell us that he had been couch surfing since he moved out and that nobody would let him stay with them because of his behavior. It was glorious and it brought a smirk to my face every time I heard it.

I’ve long since moved out and am no longer with that girlfriend. My life is in a much better place. I lament to myself that maybe I was being too underhanded and vindictive, but this guy was toxic and in all honesty, he got what he deserved.

I just hope no one else gets stuck rooming with this guy.

I would like to clarify, that in this situation, I was not the leaseholder or on the lease.
Bob was both the leaseholder and on the lease, naturally. **** was also Bob’s oldest friend (from like age 9 or whatnot) and my girlfriend and I were recent friends. Maybe a couple of years tops.

Trying to voice the problems only made the situation worse. Escalating the situation would do the same and could potentially find us without a place to stay period.

Our financial situation was NOT such that moving out was even an option. I’m not proud of what unfolded and if there were a better solution to the problem, I’d have taken it. Unfortunately, there was little to be done about it in a legal and face to face scenario.

Also, **** did massive damage to the house. The front porch guard rails had been all but ripped off and thrown in the yard. The upstairs carpet, which was originally an off-white color, was now brown/borderline black from spilled drinks, food, vomit and whatever else you can imagine.

You couldn’t walk on the carpet with your feet sticking to it.

**** also completely ruined Bob’s furniture too. His couch was originally a light tan color and it was similarly stained and pocked full of cigarette burns. The end tables and coffee table were chipped, cracked and so unstable that they literally fell apart if you bumped them hard enough.
The upstairs was a literal cesspit. It smelled absolutely horrid and trash, food, and dirty everything was strewn everywhere.

It took an entire day or 2 to clean up after he went off. And that was my job. So, I’m not saying it justifies everything we ended up putting him through, but the crime justified the punishment.

And for all the flack I get for the toothbr**u***hing, my dad had this saying he had for people who liked to talk or stir up ***. It goes, “Do you taste all that *** coming out of your mouth or are you just comfortable with the taste now?” I felt that, considering all that **** said about me and my girlfriend (none too quietly behind our backs and directly to our faces), it was time he actually tasted it for himself.

As for the outcome, **** realized his fast, loose and loud lifestyle only afforded him conditional friends. Sure, they’d party where he had somewhere to do it, but they had the decency and common sense not to do it in their homes. Hence, **** was lucky enough to get a couch to sleep on from time to time. Unfortunately for him, his party drive took hold and whenever he was alone in their places, **** foolishly tried throwing a party.

He was promptly thrown out the door.

**** burned down all his friend bridges and shortly thereafter started going to stay in hotels and motels in the area. He quickly got blacklisted for trashing the rooms and partying loudly throughout the night.

Bob was as much ****’s best friend as **** was Bob’s, but **** absolutely ruined their relationship beyond repair and he no longer had any true friends left. Last I heard, **** was sleeping in his truck because he refused to get his own place because, “I don’t see the point in getting my own place when I’m hardly ever there,” like an idiot.” Kopo93

5. You Think You Know More Than The Sound Guy? Mess With Me And I’ll Mess With You Right Back

“So this happened quite a few years ago.

I used to work as a senior technician for a large entertainment venue (around 2,000 standing capacity). Most of the time we would have private events etc, but this particular day a very well known comedian was booked to do an hour at the venue.

Before the show, I was expected to meet with his tour manager, discuss his needs, set up stuff, etc. He arrives and immediately sets the tone.
Personally I think they thought they were “too big” to play our venue, but they clearly didn’t know what they got into.

“Dave won’t use any of your crappy mics, he tours with his own sound system.”

“Sure, when is it getting here?”

“I’ve got it with me,” the manager said in the most condescending tone ever. He proceeded to pull out a self-contained speaker system, no bigger than a suitcase. There was no way it was going to fill the first two rows of tables, never mind the rest of the venue, which would be at capacity that night.

“No problem, I can give you a tie line so you can use our speakers.”

“That’s not acceptable. Dave will only use our speakers and mic.”

To cut a long story short, I spent about 15 minutes arguing with the guy who was belligerent and refused to acknowledge that his crappy system on its own wouldn’t fill the venue, and there was no way I could let them do it without support from us. I explained he would have full control over the sound, my gear was there just to amplify it, I wouldn’t need to touch the desk.

This still wasn’t good enough for him and he threatened to pull Dave from the show.
(This guy was very aggressive and condescending. At a few points, he tried to claim I didn’t know what I was doing, and that I shouldn’t be employed by the company as I was clueless,  no matter how much I explained the science, etc. He tried to scare me into doing what he wanted by threatening to pull the show. There was no need for this, it was him being stubborn and trying to pull power thinking I would back down and let him cause serious complaints for the venue because of his poor tech knowledge)

He eventually backed down when I told him fine, I’d call the venue manager and explain the situation.

This way, I’d get a night off and he wouldn’t get paid. I’d much rather that than hundreds of complaints and refunds. He backed down and we set up for the show. But he was still a jerk and the act was no better. They clearly thought they were better than us and it showed. The act even walked around backstage in his boxers into different peoples dressing rooms without knocking etc. Between them they both managed to annoy everyone.

I had enough.

The tour manager had set up a little sound desk at the side of the stage for him to use for “Dave’s” microphone.
He was standing there throughout the show “mixing his mic.” Where he put himself meant he couldn’t hear how it sounded but could be seen by everyone. My lighting OP and I were at the back of the room a few hundred feet away and hatched our plan.

The first few minutes of the show were fine until the tour manager moved away from his desk to listen.

As he walked away for some strange reason Dave’s mic would get feedback. He would run back to the desk, try to correct it, but it would solve itself. A couple of minutes later he would walk away and it would start to get that horrible feedback again. Nothing that the audience would notice too much, but Dave and his tour manager certainly did.

The tour manager was puzzled. He couldn’t understand why this was happening and Dave was getting more and more irate, glaring at his manager throughout the act.

What they didn’t know was that I was watching the manager, and every time he stepped away I turned up the high frequencies on my desk causing the feedback. As he got to the desk I would correct it and get rid of the feedback myself.
Rinse and repeat.

He got so annoyed he came to the back of the venue, barged into our control box and looked at my desk, which of course was set naturally as we had discussed.

“Have you touched your desk?”

“No mate… actually I did once. Seemed like you were struggling with feedback so I took a bit of the top out.”

He walked away sheepishly back to his desk, about halfway there the mic started feeding back again, this time quite aggressively. He had to run the last 50 foot or so which only drew more attention to him, especially from Dave the comedian.

On his way out the venue, I heard the tour manager being chewed out by Dave, about how incompetent he was.

A few years later I meet Dave at another venue I’m working at. Turns out he’s a decent enough guy. Didn’t mention the revenge I did on the tour manager but told him about the gig. Turns out it was one of the last times he used that manager, one of the reasons being how bad that gig was…” magicduk

4. Won’t Take Care Of Your Kitty? I’m Telling The Landlord

“One year ago, I was renting a house next to the most unpleasant neighbor I hope to ever experience.

The only thing I liked about her was her cat, this freakishly adorable tabby who could grab even the most hardened criminal’s heartstrings. Every time I came home from work he would sidle up next to me for some TLC, which he never got from my neighbor. As far as I could tell, she just used the poor thing to keep away mice and “play” (i.e., be terrorized by) her toddler grandkids on the weekends. The poor furbaby looked severely underfed and always appreciated the meals I’d leave out for him on our back porch.

Now, I have an indoor fur baby of my own (a tail-less ball of energy, aptly named Goblin), and one day he managed to escape outside. Luckily I found him within a few hours, but by the next morning, what jumps on my lap? Not Goblin, alas, but a flea. And if my social butterfly cat had fleas, I was positive the next-door fur baby had fleas too.

Now, I already had a bitter history with this neighbor.

In addition to being awful to her cat, she’d harrassed my older parents who were helping me move in. Why? Because our U-haul rental was blocking a sidewalk to nowhere in front of MY house for all of 10 minutes.
My parents are extremely pleasant people — my mom frequently gets THANKED on customer service hotlines for being the rare kind soul in an ocean of impatient Karens. And this lady was berating them needlessly for “ruining the community,” ranting even longer than they’d been parked, until they eventually moved to an inconvenient and wholly unnecessary distance.

Regardless of her insufferable personality, I figured I’d warn her anyway in the best interests of her fur baby. When I knew she was at home the next day, I knocked on her front door. When she answered (no “hello,” just a scowl), I started to explain that my escaped indoor cat has fleas and so there was a good possibility that her outdoor cat also had fleas. Immediately she berates me for “letting” my cat get fleas and snaps that she keeps her house very clean, unlike me, so there is no way her cat has fleas.

I just loudly sighed at her and went back home as she continued to yell. You’ve never even been IN my house, lady! And that’s not how fleas work!

All week I noticed her cat scratching himself raw and felt so bad for the lil guy. I wanted to give him flea medication and a flea bath, but with my neighbor now watching me like a hawk and screeching like a banshee if I even pet him anymore, I had to leave him alone.

BUT, I realized, there was something I COULD do.

You see, we shared the same landlord, who was very concerned about household pests and instructed us to call him at the first sight of a bed bug, tick, etc. I also knew that my neighbor was keeping her cat a secret from the landlord to avoid paying the pet rent, as I’d overheard her bragging about this to a friend outside one day. So what do I do? I call up the landlord to explain the flea situation, and I make sure to add that my neighbor’s cat has also been scratching like crazy.

There’s a pause. “Did you say she has a cat?” Yes, I assure him, she definitely has an indoor-outdoor cat.

Turns out that my neighbor had harrassed our landlord into replacing most of her carpet due to her alleged cat allergy. I don’t know why the landlord caved into this, but it wasn’t cheap. And now our landlord learned that not only had Madwoman lied about an allergy to score a free renovation, but she hadn’t paid pet rent in more than a year.

Well, an exterminator gets called, and our landlord himself shows up to oversee the whole thing.
We had both received a flyer taped to our front doors giving notice that he would be coming to our houses on that date, but I may or may not have removed my neighbor’s so she wouldn’t be able to just hide evidence of her cat for a few hours. So our landlord arrives, and I listen gleefully with my window open as my neighbor tries to prevent him and the exterminator from entering.

Eventually, she allows them to come inside, where there is obvious evidence of a pet living there. I don’t know exactly what transpired between her and the landlord (there must be other things on her record, she being such a nutcase), but a few months later I had a new next-door neighbor.

And guess who Madwoman purposely abandoned during the move? Her poor fur baby, who became a much-loved (and flea-free) member of our house.” BootlegMoon

3. Take The Kids Seriously? With Pleasure

“So I am a happily divorced dad of 2 beautiful kids.

A 5 yr old girl and almost 4 yr old son. My ex and I met in my home state of IL (she was a navy brat so her family is from TX). We fell in love very quickly, got married after a year, and was expecting my daughter after 3 mo.
We found out she was pregnant with my son almost 4-6 mo after my daughter was born. A month after he was born I found out she was cheating on me with at least 5 guys (later found out it was around 8).

OBVIOUSLY, I filed for divorce.

I got the lawyer, changed my banking accounts, and presented her with papers. The first copy was rejected for a reason I can’t quite remember. Upon revision, I had my lawyer ALSO change the custody from me having the kids every other weekend to EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND. Much to his surprise, she signed it. We shared the kids accordingly (she was SUPER p*ssed but there was nothing she could do about it), and when she/I could no longer afford to live in The state, she moved back to TX.

Fast forward 2 years without seeing the kids (couldn’t afford to see them except on 1 Christmas), I got out of the navy, moved back home and I got the kids for 3 months. I was appalled by their development delays. BOTH kids were rated in the bottom 5% of kids their age. My daughter didn’t have a clue about potty training at 3, barely speaking, and had no awareness of adult authority.
My son was not even close to walking, nonverbal, wouldn’t eat most meats, and was afraid of grass.

When I returned them my daughter would listen to adults, was potty trained, and speaking in almost complete sentences. My son was walking, saying some words/hand signals, and eating a variety of different foods. I worked my butt off to get them there (also spent a lot on 2 times a week therapy for both of the kiddos… money well spent).

Anyways I stayed in IL for about 1.5-2yrs gathering up enough money to move to TX.

I had a little amount saved, but I started dating a girl who I came to find out was also wanting to move to TX. So we pooled our money together and moved down.

We got down to TX and lived out of hotels for around a month, found jobs, found a place and moved in. I work in a sales position in a large bulk type store, and my GF works at a sandwich place. At this time my ex and I ARE NOT going by the divorce decree custody days, because of convenience.

Well a person ended up quitting the job and I had to take their hours, so my GF got permission to bring my kids to her work (the GM loves them).
Well, they were being toddlers, and she texted a mutual friend of my ex and me asking if she could watch the kids for a few hours. That got sent to my ex, my ex and new hubby got p*ssed, and they came to my work and chewed me out saying that, “I need to take the kids’ well being more seriously.” Rodger that ******.

Now I realize I messed up that day. I was not mad at what they said. I was p*ssed at the fact they did that I front of my trainee, a customer, and coworkers.

During my “set up phase” I was not paying my full child support, which was kind of them, but that ended because I was now taking things more seriously. The next morning I talked to my boss, told him what happened and informed him that I could not work at the times specified on my divorce decree because now that I am taking things seriously, I will now have the kids EVERY weekend.

I then transferred my ex the remainder of child support, informed her that she was right and I needed to take things more seriously, so I will be by after work to pick the kids up after work for my court-appointed custody.
She was confused but agreed. Then I called her on Friday evening to see if she has everything prepared for the weekend stay (medications for my son). She FLIPPED out saying they have plans all day Saturday, and church Sunday morning.

She screamed, “Why are you making these demands all of a sudden?”

“Well, I’m just taking the kids and our agreements more seriously.”

I ended up letting them have the kids Saturday and picked them up Sunday morning. I then informed my ex and hubby that we would need at least a week’s notice for any change in plans on weekends in case we had things planned (generally if they wanted to do something special with kids if we didn’t have plans, even at last minute).

Since I was taking things more seriously, my gf and I kept VERY meticulous records of any injury, diaper rash, rash on my daughter from not wiping correctly, and physical appearance upon pickup. We would treat said rashes, note any changes in our little black book, then take a photo of the pages with a time stamp. When they returned we would then note any worsening of any rash, injury, or non-treatment. We also signed the kids up for more therapy since they are still very much behind.

This went on for a few months until, surprise! My ex had enough and brought me to court to force the changes she wanted. I presented the judge with EVERYTHING. The doctor’s notes I had from day one, the doctor’s notes from my ex with conflicting information (these notes were things she would tell the state-funded therapist for my son). As well as all the expenses for the therapies I was giving my kids. Then I showed her our notes, the printed time-stamped photos, and the many times any rashes would be present or worse when we got the kids.

My ex broke down into tears since she brought her entire family and several friends for support. The increase in child support she wanted was shot down, and instead was almost HALVED since I was making less than I was prior, the expenses I had for the kids, and my overall time with the kiddos.

The change in custody she so desperately wanted? Well, the judge ordered it to stay the same with the change of alternating Sundays (slightly annoying).

Walking out she asked me through tears, “How could you do this to me?”

To which I replied, “I was taking things with the kids seriously.” ladderinstairs

2. Give Me A Hard Time At Work And Mess With My Money? Let me Teach You About The Law

“Several years back I went to work for a towing company.
It’s about all I know how to do other than paint cars which is drastically affecting my health. The pay was pretty decent, but we had to share trucks and the boss felt that he knew where we needed to sit in order to get the best calls.

This is important for later.

Several months in, I realized that I was not making the type of money that I should be making. So I took the opportunity while I was sitting in a parking lot one evening to start researching the laws pertaining to employees in similar positions. He was kind of an ***** and the trucks had transponders so that he could see if we had them idling with the air conditioner on and a hot day, or idling with the heat on on a cold day.

He was always calling and complaining about something if the wheels were not turning.

During my research, I discovered that if he was requiring us to sit in a certain parking lot, street, or any location of his choosing, then we were entitled to be paid an hourly wage not just our commission. The technical term was “engaged to wait,” however, if he allowed us to freely roam about while we waited for calls, we were not entitled to hourly wages and we were therefore considered “waiting to be engaged.” I never mentioned this to him, but I did start taking note of my time.

Another month or so goes by and he decided to start coming down on me for tiny little things. Things that ordinarily wouldn’t even matter, such as I forgot a pop can in the cupholder. He actually had a screaming fit about that. At this point, I was tired of working there and had already found another job so I decided it was time to put my plan into motion.

I called him up, told him that we needed to have a conversation about my final wages and that we could meet at his convenience.

Upon entering the office I laid out my argument, explained the state law, and told him I expected to be paid for the hours that I was on the clock but not freely allowed to roam looking for work or able to do things of my choosing. He told me in no uncertain terms, I would not be paid for that time, as that was agreed to upon my employment. I did not bother to argue, as I already had my next step planned so I took my final check and I left.

The following Monday, I made a phone call to the state labor board, where I laid out my case to them.
Needless to say, they were very interested in what was going on. In the end, they came to review his employment records and speak to the drivers still working. When he got the bill of what he had to pay us all, it was too much for him to afford, so he sold the trucks, his boat, and lot and went out of business.

I never got the money owed to me in full, only a fraction, but the satisfaction of knowing the law just a little bit better than he did and watching it all burn was pure bliss.” mody-eto-suki

1. Think You’re Getting The Promotion? Not After I Tell Everyone The Truth About Who You Really Are

“I’m 25(M) and I work in the IT department for my company. Our IT department branches out into 6 smaller departments (Technical Support, Programming, Web Development, Computer System Analysis, IT Security, and Network Engineering).

Each of these has their own boss and the boss of these all answer directly to the Director of the IT department. A couple of weeks ago, I was called into the Director’s office when I came into work. She’s an incredible person and mentor.

She told me that she had some good news and bad news.
The bad news was that she was offered another job at a much larger company as the IT director at one of their branches in Chicago, so she’d be leaving in a couple of months.

The good news was that the position for IT director at our company was open, and given my performance and reputation around the office, my immediate boss (the head of Computer System Analysis) had put my name in for consideration for the job! Each of the six department bosses in IT had to put one name in for consideration, so I have at least five other people who are competing for this job, plus any potential outside hires (It’s four now, but I’ll get to that).

After our little chat, I weighed the pros and cons of the job if I get it and I decided to just go for it! I might have a pretty good shot at getting the job since I’d consider myself a fairly likable person, a hard worker, and fairly good at my job. But there are others who are also very good candidates and I’d still be okay if I didn’t get the job. It’s an honor to just be considered.

Now let me tell you about the target of my revenge. For the sake of this story, let’s call this guy “Gabe.” As the head of Technical Support, Gabe had the power to recommend anyone in his department for the position, but he picked himself. Now I already knew him and what he’s like because a year ago I also worked in Tech Support for a short time. I was originally hired to be in the Computer System Analysis department, but I volunteered to help out in Tech Support since we were a bit short-staffed at the time.

Gabe is an obnoxious, self-absorbed, arrogant, and uptight jerk who doesn’t listen to anyone who he feels is “beneath him.” He’s either in his late 30s or early 40s, but either way, he has at least 10 years on me. He’s a little on the chubby side, receding hairline, and a neck-beard. All he needs to achieve his final form is a fedora. Back when I worked for him, he gave me a lot of crap for so many little things.

From not filling out repair tickets right to completing a repair slightly out of order, he always had something to complain about.
But other than that, he seemed fine to me. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have done what I did or gone as far as I did. But then this happened:

I was just doing my work and minding my own business, as one does. I stood up to go refill my water bottle at the water fountain and guess who follows me? If you said Gabe, then congratulations.

You get a cookie. Gabe walks up to me while I’m filling up my bottle and starts a conversation.

Gabe: “Hey OP, what’s goin’ on? How are you?”

Immediately I knew somebody was wrong. He’s never this friendly. But I had no easy way out of this, so I rolled with it.

Me: “Hey Gabe. I’m good. How’re yo-”

Gabe: “So I heard that (Head of CSA’s name) put your name in for the Director’s job.”

Me: “Yeah! I’m really excited to interview! It’s an honor to even be considered.”

Gabe just laughs and puts on his normal expression of smug and gassy

Gabe: “Listen to me.

If you think they’re gonna pick you, a lazy new kid who can’t even write a ****** repair ticket correctly, over me, a team manager who’s had 15 years with this company, then you’re out of your godd*mn mind.”

I was shocked.
I couldn’t believe those are actual words that a coworker, much less a coworker with a higher position, said to my face.

Me: “Why would you say that? I did nothing but good work for you last year and you know it.”

Gabe: It was mediocre at best! When I become the IT director, I’m gonna crack the whip.

Why anyone would think someone like you is a worthy candidate for one of the highest positions in the company is beyond me. So I’ll make sure my new department heads have better judgment than (Head of CSA’s name).”

He walked away smugly and I just stood there, both shocked and honestly quite hurt. The only part he got right was that I was relatively new, being there for two years. But I also realized at that moment that I couldn’t let this kind of person be the Director.

But, again, I’m just a kid to them, so what can I do?

Planning The Revenge

That same day, I went down to the building’s cafeteria to take my lunch break with my girlfriend (she works in the Marketing Department). I told her about the promotion and what happened with Gabe. She made me feel better by talking me down and that was super nice.
But what happened next was even better. A few of my friends from IT walked by to congratulate me as well and they sat down.

A couple of them are from Tech Support and the rest are from the other departments. My girlfriend welcomed them to sit down with us and we made it a little party. We talked and then I told them about what happened with Gabe. The ones in Tech Support all groaned and, surprisingly, so did the rest of them. I was intrigued and I asked them to elaborate, and all of them have their own Gabe horror story.

Turns out that his usual condescending remarks aren’t the worst of it. They had stories about him ripping into an intern for not getting his coffee order right, one story about him making transphobic remarks about an HR rep (really sweet guy). One of them has a couple of recordings of sexist and lewd comments towards the female department heads in IT, and he’s even come to work intoxicated on multiple occasions. Although that last part wasn’t really news to me since he reeked of alcohol frequently.

Now at this point, you’re probably asking the same question my girlfriend asked: “Why don’t you tell somebody?” Well, I’ll tell ya.
Our communication policy is kinda *** in IT. Rather than report a dispute or an issue immediately to HR or the Director, we have to give it to our immediate superior, which in this case would be Gabe for a lot of them. You really think Gabe’s gonna rat himself out to the Director? As much as I love my boss and think she’s going a wonderful job, that’s the one policy that she has that I don’t agree with.

At this point, we had all kinda bonded over our mutual hatred for Gabe. We had all agreed that Gabe would be an absolutely terrible boss and we needed to stop him. We were the Avengers and this was our Endgame (which is funny since Endgame would come out the next day). Just then, my genius girlfriend said something that I couldn’t believe I didn’t figure out sooner. She said, “Y’know, this time next week, you’re going to be face to face with the CEO, an HR rep, and your Director for the interview.

That’s your opening. You can air out all of his dirty laundry right there.” The rest of our faces lit up, realizing this too and we were ecstatic.
This was our chance and we weren’t going to waste it. Gabe is a terrible human being and would be an even worse Director. He had to go. But I’d need proof first. So that’s what I got.

Revenge Time

Along with rewriting my resumé and brushing up on my interview skills, I spent the next week being something of an investigative journalist.

I asked my previously mentioned coworker to email me those recordings he had of Gabe’s lewd comments (which by the way were absolutely sickening to listen to. I think the worst one was, “I’d love to raw her over the trash can like the dirty wh*re she is.”), as well as spending time interviewing members of the Tech Support team as well as some of the other department heads. Almost everyone had some form of bad experience with him, ranging from unprofessional to downright abusive behavior.

The head of WebDev even said that she was always uncomfortable whenever they were alone in a room together. By the time I was done, I had 3 voice recordings of Gabe, 4 pages of quotes from people around the office, and the stories I had originally heard at lunch that day when we began planning.
I really wanted to prove his whole day-drinking thing, but I was afraid that going that far might cost me my job.

But what I wanted to do was sneak into his office, open his drawers, and hopefully find empty liquor bottles or something to that effect. But what I had would just have to suffice.

Then the day came. We were in the Endgame now. I showed up to the work the day of interviews in my finest suit, my resumé, and literal pages of evidence to make my case. I walked into the office and saw my competition along with a bunch of other people who I didn’t recognize.

Those were the outside hires. I was getting pretty nervous, especially when I saw the interview committee in the conference room through its glass walls. The CEO, my Director, and an HR Rep. I took a few deep breaths, checked when my turn was, and then I sat down to do my work, just waiting to make my move. A few of my coworkers came by my desk to wish me good luck, and that made me feel a lot better about it.

I waited and waited for my turn and then saw Gabe walking up to me from the conference room, so that means his interview must’ve just finished.
I pulled out my phone and went to voice memos and began recording, just in case I got anything more out of him, and oh boy you bet I did.

Me: “What’s up, Gabe? How was your interview?”

Gabe: “Great. Obviously. The job is as good as mine. You might as well not even try.”

Me: “I’m still gonna try my best, man.

Who knows? I might even get it.”

Gabe: “Yeah keep dreaming.”

He starts to get up in my face and I can smell his lunch on his breath. Too many onions. He then starts hissing at me.

Gabe: “You’re absolute trash, kid. They’re not gonna pick a kid with two years of experience with an undergrad degree over me. I’ve been at this company for far too long and got my undergrad degree and my masters from Princeton! Don’t think for a second that you have the upper hand.

You’re nothing to me!”

I held my breath while he ranted and then he walked away to talk to another one of my coworkers who had their interview already. Coworkers around me just looked at me both shocked and confused once he walked away. I grabbed my phone, stopped the recording, and played it back. That was it.
That was the final piece. I waited for a couple more interviews to finish until they finally called me in.

I grabbed my bag and my phone and walked into the conference room. As I walked, I could feel the eyes of some coworkers on me. They knew my plan, and I think they were counting on me to pull this off. Once inside, we all shook hands and exchanged formalities before sitting down and letting the interview begin. Not all of it is relative to the story, so let me just skip to the end.

CEO: “Given the amount of internships you’ve done and how much time you’ve put into the company, you may have a good chance. However, we’ve just interviewed people with almost triple your experience. How do you stand out from the rest?”

Me: “Well, if I become the new Director, I already have some ideas for policies I’d like to put into place.”

Director: “Oh really? Would you care to give us an example?”

Me: “Don’t get me wrong. I believe that you have done an amazing job as Director of this department, but there are some things that I think can be improved upon.

For instance, our policy when it comes to HR.”

HR Rep: “Could you elaborate on that, please?”

Me: “Certainly.
In the IT department, when we have any disputes or grievances to settle, we need to report them to our direct superior. Not the Director, but to the lower department heads. My goal is to streamline communication, so workers can report issues directly to the Director or go straight to HR.”

Director: “Alright, but can you tell us why the current policy is an issue?”

I started smiling.

This was it. This was my opening.

Me: “Funny you should ask. Recently, I heard stories from a bunch of my coworkers about our head of Tech Support, Gabe. He’s been very rude to his staff and to others on multiple occasions. In fact, I think “unprofessional” is a bit of an understatement from the stories I’ve been hearing.”

Right then, I reached into my bag and pulled out the long list of stories and quotes I had gathered from the past week and handed them to the CEO.

Me: “I care about my coworkers, so I did some digging. I really feel like this is something that you need to see.”

I watched as the search committee read the quotes and stories. I watch their expressions turn to shock and disgust, which I totally get. I felt the same way when I heard all of this.
HR Rep:” This is a… conflict of interest. From what I know, Gabe is also your competition for this position.

How do we know that these stories aren’t fabricated so that you could get an advantage? Because offenses like these could result in immediate termination. I hope you have a way to prove these very serious accusations.”

Me: “I had a feeling you’d say that. You are free to interview any of the people I quoted, but I can just save you some time and show you this.”

I pulled out my phone and opened up the email that my coworker had sent me and all four of us listened to this neck-beard’s disgusting and upsetting quotes.

But I wasn’t done there. I also pulled up the most recent one. The conversation between me and him. My Director just looked down at her desk and then they looked at each other. I was the one to break the silence.

Me: “I’m sorry you had to hear all of this.”

CEO: “Could you please email those recordings to me? I would like to address this immediately.”

Me: “Of course. You are free to keep those papers too.”

I forwarded the email to him along with my recording.

Director: “Thank you for this information, OP.
We’ll let you know our decision when the time comes.”

Me: “Of course. Thank you for your time.”

I shook everyone’s hand again and that’s when the HR Rep spoke up.

HR Rep: “Can you please ask Gabe to come back? I would like to address this immediately as well.”

I’m ecstatic at this point

Me: “I would be happy to.”

I leave the room and notice my friends in Tech Support just staring at me.

My girlfriend was also sitting at my desk, since we planned on going out for lunch after my interview. I didn’t want to give anything away, so I kept a straight face and walked past them and towards Gabe’s office. I walked in and sighed.

Me: “The interview committee wants to see you again.”

Gabe just looked up from his computer and just gave me an arrogant smirk, as if to say “I told you so.” He got up and pushed past me towards the door.

I followed behind him towards the conference room and we parted ways when he went in and I walked towards my desk. I wanted to see exactly what happened. I watched what unfolded through the glass walls. I saw Gabe’s face turn white and his expression turn from smug to terrified.
He turned his head to me and I had this sh*t-eating grin on my face. I just waved and then left my office with my girlfriend to have a nice lunch.

The Aftermath

I was feeling pretty good about the whole day. I got my revenge, did fairly well in a job interview, and had amazing chicken parm for lunch that day. I felt so good, that I decided to take the rest of the day off. I went to the zoo, saw a really cute koala bear. The next day, I came to work dressed down since interviews were over, and then patiently waited for the committee to make their decision.

When I walked into the lobby of the building, my two friends from Tech Support ran over and trapped me in a bear hug.

Me: “Well this is new. What’s this for?”

Friend 1: “You did it!”

Me: “I GOT THE JOB?!”

Friend 1: “No! We wouldn’t know even if you did. We’re talking about Gabe!”

Me:  I stopped him from getting the job?”

Friend 2: “Oh you did a lot more than that. But you’ll just have to see for yourself.”

Both of them drag me to the elevator to go up to the IT floor.

When we get there, they dragged me through the main office and over towards Gabe’s.
When we got in, all I found was an empty room with a desk in the middle of it. My jaw dropped. Apparently, I collected so much evidence for Gabe’s misbehavior, not only did I eliminate him from gunning for the Director’s job, but he was also fired from the company and potentially blacklisted since everything I submitted for evidence against him was put on his permanent file.

I’m not sure if he was blacklisted or not since I’m not entirely sure how that works, but he’s definitely gone for good. I asked them about the details of what happened after I left. They told me that Gabe was so mad (probably at me), that his face was bright red. After he left the conference room, he spent the rest of the day packing up and drinking in his office, so I guess my day-drinker theory held up.

He left in shame, and we won’t see him again.

I was so excited. Gabe was gone and it felt like the office was a brighter place. People were so excited that a few people outside the Tech Support department brought in a bunch of desserts, from cheesecake to brownies. They were delicious, but I think what made them taste better was that I did something to cause this rush of joy.
I think the best part of this whole thing is that only a couple of people know that I had something to do with this.

The rest of them? Totally clueless. I’m not the protector that IT wants, but I’m the protector that IT needs. Now enough humble-bragging. It’s starting to make me feel like a ******.

In hindsight, I don’t know what would’ve been more satisfying. Doing what I did or getting the job fair and square and firing Gabe. But if there’s one thing I learned in life, you will do things that you are proud of that you will enjoy and you will do things that you’re not so proud of but will really enjoy.

This doesn’t apply. I am both very proud of this and I really REALLY enjoyed this. This might come back later to bite me in a*s, but for right now I think I’ll enjoy it. But now the Director has to pick a new head of Tech Support. Either that or she’ll give that job up to the next Director. It’s been almost a few days since the interviews and we’re still waiting on the results.

Even if I don’t end up getting the job, I still gained something from this.
I have a better bond with my coworkers and got rid of the ***** in my office. If enough people like this story, I’ll update you on if I got the job or not.

Moral of the story: Don’t shoot an unfamiliar gun. You don’t know how strong the kickback’s gonna be.” KyuubiBlade

Ouch! Not only are these comebacks flawless, they’re bang on and wonderfully executed.

Don’t get too inspired though, you wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end now, would you? Got any stories to share? Tell us everything!