People Reveal Their Fabulous Revenge Stories
31. She Mails His Stuff To His Mistress One By One
“Joe and Dawn were married for many years. They have kids. Joe got his full retirement from the Marines. They moved from New England to Florida for Joe’s new job. Joe got bored. He got a side chick. A very young girl. We’ll just call her Bimbo.
Joe & Bimbo sneak around having their little affair. Joe moves out of his house before Dawn finds out about Bimbo.
Joe is vague about why he would move out. Dawn investigates. Finds out about Bimbo. Finds out he is hiding a lot of funds. Finds out he made calls to Bimbo on his cell phone even on their Anniversary. Dawn thinks about the job that she loved, but had to quit, to move to Florida, so Joe could get the job HE wanted! Dawn is furious!
She moved back to New England with the kids.
Joe stayed in Florida but went to New England to see his kids before the Holidays. He meets with Dawn to discuss things. They get carried away, as they have before. They go to a hotel that is close by.
Much later, it’s 3:00 am and Joe is taking a long shower. Dawn takes all the towels out of the bathroom.
Takes all the sheets and blankets off the bed. Takes the handle from the room phone. Takes his clothes, shoes, keys, cell phone, and wallet. Throws all of it in her car.
She drove up beside the door and waited for him to open the hotel room door. When he did, she yelled ‘You should have kept your pants on Joe!’ as she drove away.
Next, she called Bimbo, in Florida, from her cell phone. (Remember it’s 3 am.) Bimbo answered the phone. Dawn tells her Joe is in trouble. He’s stranded in a hotel room with no clothes or phone and that the Police were called about an exposed man walking around. Bimbo hung up on her.
Bimbo called Joe’s cell phone. Dawn sweetly answered the phone. Dawn told her the name of the Hotel & the room number.
Dawn told Bimbo Joe’s parent’s phone number so they could go fetch him.
Now, Dawn is busily racking up phone calls on his cell phone until it doesn’t work anymore. Dawn mailed one of Joe’s shoes to Bimbo last week. This week she mailed his underpants. Next week she’s going to mail his broken watch…
To all you unfaithful guys out there: There is no person more powerful than the woman scorned!”
30. The Jerk Son Always Causes Trouble
“I live in a duplex, with my landlady living in the other half. She has a 43-year-old deadbeat/homeless son, that used to live in my half before my occupancy.
She kicked him out after he brought a live-in partner home, hence the vacancy leading to my tenancy. A little sicko – mommy dearest scenario. At any rate, this dude has never lived on his own, lived in hotels with his significant other after his eviction, she eventually dumped him, and he came back to live in mommy’s half of the equation recently. Careless, homeless, sporadic employment, you get the picture.
Enter the harassment originating from the Boy Wonder. He wants his old unit back! Suffice it to say, that I have had an attorney and the cops warn him off from his highly illegal activities, and needless to say, I have an ironclad lease.
People like this never go to college, nor pay their bills, or process a change of address with the USPS. He has a cheering section of collection agencies/hyenas clawing at MY door trying to get him to pay up an aggregated debt of 10K that he has not paid in 6 mos or more.
In addition, he has kindly provided his employer’s name by placing ‘fax calls’ to my home number to shrill in my ear. I love caller ID. Soooooooo, BW having laid this info in my lap, his collectors have now been provided with his mom’s phone#, address, as well as his employer’s. Since I now have his employer’s fax line #, guess where his demands for payment are going?
I believe he’s being garnished soon.
Oh, excuse me. Another process server is ringing my bell.”
29. The Bad Smell Was So Bad He Didn't Know Where It Was Coming From
“When my oldest daughter was 14, my ex-husband set up a checking account for her. (His idea, but I agreed to it.) The stipulations were: NO bounced checks and her checkbook would be open to inspection any time I wanted to access it. She was given 10 ‘starter checks’ by the bank, you know, the blank checks you’re given when you first open a checking account.
She wrote one check that week for the amount of $1.50. Within days, we started receiving notices from the bank that she was bouncing checks. The bounce notices continued to pour into our mailbox over the next few days.
When I presented the first notice to our daughter, I demanded to know exactly HOW MANY checks she had written. My poor kid insisted that she had only written just the ONE check for a measly $1.50.
We immediately went to the bank. It turned out that they had several checks issued to her account, and they were from the first shipment of checks they had sent to her. After all of the checks that had been written filtered into the bank, it turned out that 16 checks had been written on her account, totaling $760.00. Her account had been opened with a balance of $200.00.
Upon close inspection of the checks, it was very evident that they had not been written by my daughter. They had been forged. We had been sent her first box of checks, and they had been stolen right out of our mailbox.
We signed affidavits of forgery for each and every check that had been written and took copies to the police. After about a week it became obvious that the police weren’t being very aggressive about actually finding the people who had done this.
They hadn’t even contacted any of the businesses yet. I was furious. Demolition angry, as I call it. I was going to ‘get’ whoever had done this to my kid. I went into stealth mode. I went to each and every business that had received one of my daughter’s checks and personally interviewed each employee that had accepted these checks with phony SSNs and phone #s.
I demanded to know how these checks could have been withdrawn without any proof of ID. I usually received stammering replies, but it all added up to the fact that these businesses were slack, and their employees weren’t doing their jobs. In a hurry, they hadn’t asked for IDs. But I did get very good descriptions of the people that had written the checks. I knew who did it.
The descriptions matched the newest people that had just moved into our building.
I played detective. For the next week, I searched through the garbage of these new tenants. They had moved in about two weeks before this theft had occurred. Every time they put a bag of garbage outside, I waited until they were out of sight, then grabbed the bag and brought it into my apartment.
I went through every scrap of trash in those bags. I was looking for evidence and I found it. I found receipts from stores that the checks had been written at, with the amount matching the checks, AND better yet, my daughter’s account number was right there on the receipts. It had been typed in by the employee that had accepted the checks. I had absolute proof.
I took the receipts to the police.
They told me to quit gathering evidence and informed me that ‘they’ would handle it. I wasn’t satisfied with that. I wanted to ‘get’ them NOW. But I didn’t want to get myself in trouble for it. We lived in an old Victorian home that had been cut into 4 apartments. We rented the ground floor and the basement.
The other three apartments were upstairs on the second floor. The apartment that these people had moved into, was little more than a glorified closet. It was small, about 12×15 feet with a small bathroom, and an even smaller kitchen. We shared a communal hallway. They were at the top of the stairs and I was at the bottom. I could hear them every time they left. The lock on the door to their apartment had an old-fashioned keyhole that had been taped shut.
That was all I needed.
My sister worked as a Med-tech at the time and supplied me with a nice BIG syringe with a nice LONG needle on the end of it. Heh heh. I filled the syringe with water and sprayed it on the carpet in my living room. I wanted to see if the spray left any kind of telltale droplets that could be detected by sight.
There were none. Our carpeting was exactly the same as the carpeting in ‘their’ apartment upstairs. I was set. Using my husband as a lookout, every time those jerks left their apartment for the next month, I brought syringe after syringe full of sulfur-y, stinky, rotten-egg putridness to their door, and injected it onto their carpeting THROUGH the keyhole. Sometimes I injected 5-6 syringes FULL of the stuff at a time.
It evaporated very quickly, filling the apartment with a nauseating stench. When I had time, I even injected it under their door into the matting under their carpeting. It was white vinegar. And man, did it stink!!
Rocked with stifled laughter, I would hear them come home, and, from my bedroom, I could hear them storm across the floor and ‘SLAM’ open the only window in the tiny apartment!!!!
Opening the window never really helped to get rid of the smell. It was replenished daily!! Heh heh!!! I did this every day, sometimes as often as 3 or 4 times a day until they moved out, about a month later. I should also explain that this was in January. In North Dakota. A place where -20 below zero in the winter is a regular occurrence. So, they were not only choked out by my multiple daily applications of ‘stink,’ but they froze their butts off at the same time!!!!
They were eventually charged with the crime, but it was several months later. The police never called to tell me about it. I read it in the paper. Those idiots never knew that I was the one that had filled their cozy criminal den with reek!! I still laugh out loud whenever I think about it. Torturing them was infinitely more fun than waiting for the police to slap them on the wrist.”
THAT isn't cool
28. He Made Sure The Evidence Was Seen By Everyone
“This happened in a place called Enfield Town in the north of London back in late July of 2016.
So, there was this guy (let’s call him Dave) and this girl (let’s call her Jane). Dave and Jane were a couple, they loved each other, more than you could ever know.
In fact, Dave was planning on asking Jane to marry him because his love for her was so strong and he genuinely felt in his heart of hearts that she was the one. Their relationship was going great, however, out of nowhere, things began to go wrong.
Out of nowhere, Jane began distancing herself from Dave. There was zilch going on in the bedroom because Jane in her own words ‘wasn’t up for it’, she became very hostile towards Dave and she would lose her mind with him over the smallest things several times.
Dave didn’t know why and thought that she was going through a phase however this went on for weeks and those weeks became months, a whole three months nonstop.
So one day, Dave asked to use Jane’s phone to make a quick phone call because his battery had died and he couldn’t find his charger. Jane agreed, but as he was typing her password in she burst across the other side of the room, snatched her phone from Dave, and began to lambast him like there was no tomorrow.
At this point, confused Dave began to suspect that something was up.
Whilst Jane was sleeping one night, Dave decided to go downstairs and sneak into her bag and get hold of her phone. Upon doing this, he began going through it… and to his dismay, he found out that Jane had been having an affair. There were hundreds upon hundreds of racy text messages and pics of Jane and the person she was having an affair with.
Dave wanted to give her the hairdryer treatment and grill the absolute soul out of her and who could blame him? But Dave, being the smart and very conniving person that he is, decided not to because he thought that it was too easy.
‘So what did he do?’ you ask? He began to plot! Dave wanted to utterly embarrass her and make her feel his pain and anger, every single ounce of it.
He sent himself the pictures from her phone to his email so that he had proof of her actions all the while covering his footsteps. One evening, Jane went out for a birthday party down in Soho with her mates. Dave was aware of this and hours before he called his mate, who was a locksmith, and instructed him to wait a few meters away from his house until she left. Jane left and the plan that Dave had been planning for some time was in full swing!
His mate began changing all the locks on his house and after he did that, Dave began packing up all her belongings in bin bags and suitcases. After spending hours doing that, he locked his front and back doors and waited anxiously for Jane to arrive back home.
It’s 2 am, the 2011 Ford Focus Zetec pulls up outside of his home. Jane, in her black leather jacket, high heels, and grey dress, steps out of her car and slowly begins walking towards the door.
She pulls her keys out from her handbag and tries to open the door but fails, she tries over and over again but to no avail. She goes around the back and attempts to do the same thing but fails once again. Jane stands there looking confused, puzzled, and bewildered trying to figure out what in the world was going on. Dave is watching all of this and is loving each and every second of this but then finally, he appears to her from the window.
Dave then begins telling Jane how he’s aware of her lying, betrayal, everything, and mercilessly begins to spew all of his hate, rage, fury, bitterness, and anger towards Jane, telling her precisely what he thinks of her. As she tries to tell her side of the story, he immediately begins throwing all her stuff out of his window and then sends the pictures of her two-timing him to both his and her family members on his phone.
Please bear in mind that she comes from an incredibly strict, conservative, devout Christian family so imagine how they must’ve felt when they found this out. Super livid would be the understatement of the century.
After verbally dissecting her, locking her out of his house, throwing out all of her belongings, and sending pictures of her infidelity to her family, he informs her that they’re officially done as a couple and ends it at that.
I might sound like a jerk for saying this (and forgive me if I do) but this was really brilliant. It’s true what they say, ‘he who laughs last laughs best.'”
27. Pick On Me? I'll Cover Your Engine In Shaving Cream
“The most popular girl in school had a regular habit of picking on me in class and I had enough of it. So while she was away at BOCES trade school, I went to the senior high parking lot armed with a can of shaving cream and a roll of electrical tape.
First I put small rocks in the rear hubcaps of her car. Fortunately, her car is a piece of junk and the hood can be opened from the outside. Then I taped a can of shaving cream to the manifold of the engine: (When the engine heats up it will make the can explode.) I just wish I could have been there to see the look on her face when she heard the rattling noise from the rocks, the loud boom, and then to open the hood and see her engine covered in shaving cream.”
26. She Thought No One Would See Her True Colors
“We were seriously seeing each other, at least I thought so, and we were dumb teenagers. On that note, to this day I have no idea whether or not I was the other guy or the main piece or what was going on.
So I was going through her phone after she told me to answer a text from her friend. She got multiple texts from a couple of people while I was in the midst of answering the stated text and considering that she told me to answer it for her I just went ahead answering them.
She was getting ready to go out with me and left her phone next to me while she finished dolling herself up.
One guy who had just been recently released from prison after a dime for murder was texting her and I found out through reading back all the stuff they were sending that she was seeing him as well as me, but with no mention of me.
I connected the dots that when she couldn’t see him, she would say she was working though she was really with me.
Months of this had been going on, months. I discovered the time that when she told me that she was late (not that two teens would ever do anything and even though we weren’t doing it LIKE THAT, she still told me that she was late, and she was) it was because she was hooking up with this guy.
It sounds creepy, but I generally keep track of the girl I’m with so I know when she’s going to be moody and when I need to go out and get her stuff for that time of the month.
I screen-capped about 2 months’ worth of texts and sent them all to me, but was careful to not let her know and even managed to delete the caps I sent to myself so it looked like I hadn’t sent them.
I almost forgot to mark them as unread so she wouldn’t know that I had seen them.
Still, following? Good. So I’ve told different versions of this story leaving out a lot of detail, but this is mostly the full story.
So we went out and that was that. A week or so later when I knew she’d be busy, I dropped by to let her parents know about what was going on and that I’d not be seeing her anymore, she just didn’t know yet.
I dropped that bomb on them and they were absolutely livid with me for breaking up with her through them. They did settle down enough so I could tell them exactly what I had found and why. I sent them the screencaps I had taken over a week ago and that they might want to check her phone to see what else she was doing that they didn’t know about.
I went through a detailed explanation about what I knew about the person and checked off points on a list that she was really not going to be in a good situation if she was with him. They didn’t believe me or rather they didn’t want to believe that their daughter would do something like that to such a nice guy like me. They hated me for a time and things were awkward and I quickly left that conversation and house.
I never looked back, but months later they were going through my checkout line and made a huge apology for what happened and then filled me in on what had happened since that night I revealed that their daughter wasn’t as great of a person as she seemed to be. Turns out that they had found at least 6 other people that she was ‘going out with’ and that she had intended on running off with another guy just weeks after I had shown them what I did.
She eventually did run off with a different guy (different from the guy she was going to do it with, the murderer, and myself). She ended up getting pregnant with the murderer’s kid and the guy she ran off with left her. The murderer went back to prison and she was left homeless and pregnant. They eventually let her back in their home under the condition that she raises the kid, gets a job, and does not have another kid until she is married.
Well, turns out that she never did get a job, let them raise the child while she was ‘looking or at work’, and she got pregnant with twins with the guy she was initially going to run off with. They kicked her out with enough funds to find her an apartment and a car.
Well she never could get steady work with how lazy she was when it came to working (never showing up, always late, always breaking rules, etc.) She eventually lost her apartment and moved in with baby daddy #2.
Then he kicked her out after she accused him of abusing her (though she refused to file a report or get an kit done or anything you’re supposed to do after the mistreatment and not for any reason that you would think.)
The mistreatment never happened. He was on the other end of the state at work, on multiple cameras.
Then she was left with her car and kids.
So she moved in with a former friend of mine. A few months later while he was out of the country and at work, again on camera with receipts to boost proof, he got served with a restraining order and was kicked out of his house because of a false mistreatment accusation.
Now later everything was sorted out and he was found innocent with a very damaged reputation.
She was forced to move back into her parent’s home because she wouldn’t get enough work to support herself because and I quote ‘I’ll lose my benefits if I do!’
Just a major s******p of a relationship right there.
I guess my revenge was that I got out of that situation and eventually got her kicked out of that house at least once.
Just a couple of years ago she reached out to me to see if we could fix things.
My reply was one word, ‘Unsubscribe.’
She blew up on me and called me everything in the book and tried to tell me that I was abandoning my children, but wouldn’t allow a DNA test to prove that they were mine (they aren’t by the way.
I still have no kids to this day) and that I was a horrible person.
My revenge was that I brought her to light for what a jerk she truly is.
So this ended right before my grandpa passed away, about 3ish months.
So the next March would have me doing the memorial service. Guess who shows up?
If you guessed her, you’re right.
So I’ve let other people take over and share things after I did.
I’m sitting out in the hall on the steps in the church, right where my grandpa fell and broke his arm. I’m rocking myself back and forth trying to pull it together for the last bit of the service and it’s not working. I’ve got tears in my eyes, spilling down onto my blazer. I could hardly talk the entire day because I’m sending off the man that made me who I am today, the one that was there through everything for me.
My keeper of secrets and the person I leaned on the most.
She shows up and starts berating me for not inviting her to the service, swearing up and down that it just shows how bad of a person I truly am. How I’m such a scumbag and how I’m a horrible person because I refuse to see her or do anything. You know, the whole works.
This witch had the nerve to come to the service that I specifically didn’t tell her about because… well she’s a witch… and berate me, after all that happened between us and how all of this went downhill on that specific day.
She had the further nerve to disturb the service and had to be escorted out by two very annoyed cops. She screamed to them about how she had the right to be there because she loved my grandpa and was in his life and that she wasn’t leaving.
I had the decency to not press charges and only have her removed, though looking back I should have because it would have made her go to jail and prevent kids from suffering.
I still got the final revenge. I’m the one that’s not a deadbeat sucking off the system.”
25. He Had Beef With My Husband
“My husband and I grew up in the same neighborhood/community.
We went to the same schools (albeit with a couple of years difference) and kind of had the same mutual friends as our parents went to the same church and all that.
In our teens, things got a bit crazy and I went the goody-two-shoes way and he went the rebel/oppressed way. He wasn’t nice to his classmates and had problems with pretty much everyone in every school he ever went to but that’s a story for another day.
At 14 I had this huge crush on this cute guy from school that lasted for about 3 years. We ended up kissing twice but once he found out I had this big crush on him he became very mean to me, said some very hurtful things to me, went out with my best friend and some other friends of mine.
Anyway around 17 yo I finally got over it and about that time my now husband and I started seeing other people.
He had gotten over his rebel ways and was always very sweet, sometimes he’d call me and play his guitar to me until I slept, always said I was pretty (despite me having horrible issues with my self-image), and was a pretty good friend.
One day after we had been going out for a long time (we got married I was 19) I was on the bus coming back home when the old crush walked in and sat next to me.
The first thing he asked me was if I was seeing anyone. That was always the first thing he’d ask me whenever he saw me at random places.
I said yes. In fact, just got engaged.
To whom? He asked.
Kel. I said.
He then told me how much of a fool I was to marry such a stupid guy. I probably was marrying him because I couldn’t get anyone better.
He said the best thing I’d ever been able to catch was a cold. Lol.
Anyway. Turns out my husband had whooped his butt back in the day for some teenage beef. He wasn’t able to get over it and hated my husband ever since.
Me finding the love of my life was the best revenge I got against my ‘ex’. The fact that my now husband had kicked his butt back in the day was just the cherry on top.”
24. He Brought His Other Girl To Meet His Fiancee
“I actually knew someone who was with a girl and he was in love big time, but she didn’t share that love with him.
She was two-timing him and she left him eventually. He was heartbroken and kind of became a lump of a depressed person. It took almost a year to snap out of it, but when he did, he finally came around and started being normal One night, which was kind of creepy to me, he says kind of out of the blue, ‘she has hers coming you’ll see.’
I was kinda shocked about it and basically changed the conversation to happy things, and later down the road about 3 months from then he’s happy, has a new significant other, and doing great. He was working crazy and meeting new people and had a new outlook on life. He broke up with that girl because she was getting a little too possessive he said, and for a few years went with girls off and on.
Then one night we were at a party and he let me know he was going out with his ex from back when. I told him he’s stupid and he said don’t worry I got this. I had no choice in the matter. So whatever about a month later he’s telling me they are really good and he proposed and she said yes. I’m like what’s going on with you, but I played happily because I wasn’t given a choice.
So a couple of months go by and we weren’t hanging out that much because he spent all of his time with her. I’m out in the city running some errands and I decided to stop for lunch and I run into his fiancee. She’s all heartbroken and starts crying because he told her that it was a plan all along to show her she messed up.
He apparently had been playing a game the whole time, started going out and got serious and proposed and they had plans of their new life together. He was a super gentleman and he was doing whatever she wanted to do, and then one night he brought his other girl to meet his fiancee. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say. I said crazy things, I’m sorry for you, and left. I was just dumbfounded.
So naturally, I found him and asked what happened and he said I told you I got this. I said, ‘A little harsh and maybe too far don’t you think?’ He said, ‘you saw me for a year heartbroken and you believe she didn’t deserve it?’ I was just without words and changed the conversation fast. Wow, that was revenge and then some.”
23. Self-Absorbed Roommate Thought I Wasn't Moving Out
“I had an extremely self-righteous, self-absorbed roommate. She was the type that wanted to appear like a really positive person to everyone she knew and stuck ‘101 ways to live a positive smiley life’ in your bathroom.
She also had a habit of trying to impose her mother’s decorating tastes all over a house of students. This included seasonal decorations of harvest corn, floral valences, and Winnie the Pooh pictures. If anyone disapproved, she would say things like ‘I’m so tired of being the only person here interested in making this a home’. She complained daily about the burden of being the only person in the house who deserved to live there.
We were friends until she just became too much.
When she thought I might be moving she actually came into my room taking measurements for where she would put her stuff (I had the best room) and telling me daily what colors she was going to paint it etc. At this point, I really had to get her. So I told her I wasn’t moving out, she was extremely disappointed that she couldn’t Martha-fy my room and move in.
I waited until she was away for two months to give my notice, and before doing that called a friend I knew wanted the room. He was very loud, extremely messy, and actually quite rude. He called up, got put on the waiting list and I gave my notice. When she came back, he was moving his stuff in. And as you might have guessed, they hated each other.
Another roommate who wouldn’t crochet doilies and make construction paper flowers for the front window. AAAAW. Very satisfying for me anyway.”
22. We're Done With Steak For The Night
“Me, my Ex, and the kids were at Golden Corral (a semi-cheap, all you can eat style restaurant in the US) when they first had the lemon rosemary butter steak.
Basically, every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday dinner was more expensive, but they added things like all-you-can-eat steak, shrimp, Swedish meatballs (for the 4th of July, I dunno), sausage, ribs, etc.
She stayed at the table with the kids while I fetched plates for everyone (it’s self-serve), kids first of course.
Then back out to get hers and mine. There was a long line for the steak, where you’d request how you want it and the chef cuts you a piece and puts it on your plate. I got her a steak, and sides, plus the rolls and her precious honey butter. Everything she requested.
I get back to the table and the kids are enjoying their food, but My Ex has finished more than half of her steak and is disappointed because it’s not rare enough.
I cut it into mine and it is perfectly pink and juicy. I go to take a single bite and she is literally whimpering because she wants my steak, so I hand it over and take her measly pale gray chunk for myself. This was a common thing, and something I’d repeatedly asked her to stop the entire decade we were together, but I didn’t want to fight about it.
So she says ‘just the way I like my steak. Mooing.’ And I cracked up because it reminded me of the Greek legend. She asked what’s so funny, and I told her.
See, in greek mythology, Odysseus and his crew were starving on their boats (as they often were) when they spotted a perfect green isle covered in these fat, beautiful, healthy cows.
They paddled to the shore as fast as they could and were stumbling over themselves to get to the cows.
And the cows, being so pampered for so long, didn’t even put up a fight as they were killed by the dozens. Within an hour, the sailors had a fire going, roasting whole cows, while they ate skewered pieces off of smoking spits. Some of the skins were stretched tight to tan in the sun, but some of the sailors just threw them over their shoulders like capes.
And as they laughed and ate they began to notice as the meat started to twitch on their plates. The skins began to writhe, the bones rattled, the cows on the spit screamed. The sailors watched in horror and vomited as the meat in their stomachs squirmed.
They had found Apollo’s herd of Immortal cattle.
It was at this point my ex pushed away MY barely touched plate, completely done with steak for the night.
Revenge is a dish best served with lemon rosemary butter and a side of mashed potatoes.”
21. She Watched Her Man Propose To Another Girl
“A second cousin of my father happened to be a very good student, let’s call him Himu. His family was not very well off but somehow managed to send their son to Dhaka to attend university. He used to provide private tutoring to cover his living costs. Among his students was the daughter of a high-ranking government official; we would call her Rupa. And like thousands of other private tutors and student duos in Bangladesh, they fell in love.
It was during the early eighties and people used to marry their daughters off at a much younger age. Likewise, after the HSC exams, Rupa’s family started to look for an eligible man for their daughter. Himu did not know what to do. He was still a student and his poor father had high hopes for him. He did the only thing he could think of, he eloped with Rupa.
They fled to Mymensingh and took shelter at a friend’s home. They got married the next day. But as I wrote earlier, Rupa’s family was very influential. They traced them within a few days and forcibly brought Rupa home. Himu was in police custody and a charge of abduction was made against him. His family did not have the funds or power to fight the case.
Himu’s father and brother-in-law (his elder sister’s husband) were brought to the local police station and allegedly were beaten up badly by the cops. Rupa’s father was too concerned about the honor of his family and offered a mutual divorce to the boy’s father. But Himu remained unmoved, he did not want to leave the girl he loved. It is said that after knowing about the London-dwelling groom of her father’s choice, Rupa herself regretted her elopement and agreed to divorce Himu.
Himu could not believe his own eyes when he received the divorce letter from Rupa. However, to avoid further scandals, charges against Himu were dropped shortly afterward.
Himu was devastated, he came back to his village but was not talking to anybody. His family had a streak of insanity and everyone feared he might suffer the same fate. One comparatively affluent relative came forward and took Himu to Dhaka once again.
He let him stay in his home and helped him to continue his studies. Himu started working hard, he pushed himself beyond his limits. He graduated at the top of his class, managed a scholarship, and went to the USA for higher studies.
Meanwhile, things did not work out in Rupa’s life. It is rumored that her family concealed her first marriage and got her married to a man from another influential family.
Her in-laws came to know about the whole incident shortly after the ceremony. She got divorced a second time. You can’t imagine how miserable the life of a divorced woman can be in a country like Bangladesh. She was ostracized by her extended family members, her friends started to perceive her as a greedy woman and abandoned her. The prestige of a highly reputed family was tarnished overnight.
Rupa was beautiful but did not have any tangible skills. She was lonely and empty inside, all her dreams were shattered. Things became even worse when her father died. She lost the only person who was by her side in her dark times.
In a desperate attempt to revive her life, she somehow collected the address of her teenage love, Himu. She started writing letters to him, allegedly hundreds of them.
She kept writing until Himu broke his silence and replied. He made her an offer to meet in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Why did he choose the Eiffel Tower? Well, Rupa had a favorite movie in which a man bends on one knee and proposes to his love with Eiffel Tower in the backdrop. While in love, Himu had promised her to take them there.
She certainly had not believed him then, but the time really came.
Rupa arranged everything and flew to Paris to reunite with her long-lost love. It was before the internet era, people used to write letters to fix schedules and places. So, on the scheduled day, Rupa went in front of the Eiffel tower wearing a red saree and with flowers in hand. She must have been shaking with excitement, embarrassment, and whatnot, she went through a lot in the last few years.
She waited there for hours, some say from morning to the afternoon. Himu did not show up. She, with teary eyes, was about to leave when the very known voice called out her name. She turned around, ran to Himu to hug him. Wait! Himu was there with a stunning blonde, holding her around her waist. Rupa was shocked, she did not know how to react.
Himu introduced the blonde as his girl and proposed to her for marriage, keeping Rupa as a spectator. So finally, Rupa saw something in real life that she loved as a teenager, and it killed her inside.
Some believe Himu never really married anyone, he hired the blonde to play his lover, others say he actually married a European but later got separated. He lives somewhere in Europe these days and is in the teaching profession.
Nobody knows what exactly happened to Rupa. I once heard she teaches at a renowned girls’ school in Dhaka. She is single till now but very much loved and adored by her students.
I really feel sad for Rupa, in fact, I feel sad for both of them. I wish there were another version of the story where they ended up hugging each other in the most romantic city in the world.”
20. He Became A Multi-Millionaire While She Watched Her Life Go Down
“Had a friend whose marriage went to garbage. His wife betrayed him which he found out about and then she divorced him, I always found this profoundly ironic.
Anyway, by the end, she thought he was just a lazy person who wouldn’t ever amount to anything. He was a fellow programmer, and a good one, so I knew he wasn’t lazy or insolvent or incapable in any way. He was just a really nice person and she was a manipulative narcissist who wasn’t getting everything she wanted ‘right now’, so I was glad to see them split up.
He went and started a software company and is now a multi, multi, millionaire and she has 3 or 4 kids from different fathers and is single basically living on welfare.”
19. I Got Milk Robbed But I Solved It
“So a few months ago I had an issue with my milk being taken on a Sunday evening/Monday morning, every week for 3 weeks. I was on the verge of just canceling the delivery but then had thought to get my own back.
So I got 3 pints on Friday, left them in the sun (it was July at this point) on Saturday until the foil cap had pushed up so the milk had soured then placed it in the fridge to bring it back down to good milk temperature. I then placed my milk caddy ready for the burglars. Monday morning comes and the milk was gone. I literally hopped, skipped, and jumped down the road in my dressing gown.
I re-started my milk order for Monday and I’ve never had a bottle go since. Little victories and all that.
18. He Didn't Know He Invited People To His "House Party"
“I had been going out with this guy for only about 3 weeks, however, we knew each other for a while before. He continually told me how lucky he was to have found me and that he loved me. He is a year younger than me, and we are only in high school, so when he called me one night saying he had gotten grounded because of poor grades, I believed him.
He said that we would have to break up for now because he was cut off from everything, but he would call me as soon as he got ungrounded. He repeatedly apologized for everything and said he still loved me.
I was very sad by all of this, but one day I was online and I just happened to read his profile. He had another girl named as his significant other and said he couldn’t be happier with her.
He works at the mall, so I confronted him one day at work. He denied everything, saying someone had stolen his password. I was skeptical, but I said okay. Then, a few days later, his entire profile was all about her, and I’m talking really graphic unnecessary details. I was extremely angry… so that weekend I saw him working again. Again I confronted him, again he denied it being very adamant about it.
He tried to make me feel sorry for him and he tried to turn it around saying I should trust him, but I was going on instinct now.
Well, a few nights later he called me up and said he had to be honest with me, that he had been seeing someone for the last 2 weeks. I went off on him, saying an unbelievable amount of vulgar phrases, I think I made up some new ones.
This proved that they had started going out while we were still going out.
I had to have my revenge. So every day for a week, I sent out a mass email from a fake email address, saying there was a major party at his house with free beer. I got a lot of replies saying they would be there with friends. At the end of the week, I had to have told about 200 people, excluding the friends they would be bringing.
So the night of the party, my friend and I grabbed the camcorder and parked down the street from his house. We watched car after car FULL of people go to the door asking for him, saying that he invited them to a party there. After about 2 hours of this, his parents had to be off their rockers.
My goal was to have him get ‘grounded’ again so he would have to break up with his new significant other.
I don’t know what all happened to him when he got home that night, but I know his parents were REALLY mad.”
17. She Said They Were Just Fooling Around
“My ex and I had been in a long-distance relationship for 6 long years until we broke up on 14 Feb 2019.
I was in a relationship from my college days. After college, I was lucky enough to get a job in Dubai in one of the MNC (Multinational Corporations). My work schedule allows me to visit India every second month for 28 days. Life was going fantastic and I had plans to marry my significant other, even though she was reluctant for marriage due to differences in the cast. But, I thought I will somehow manage with her family.
I loved her so much that I could have fought with anyone for her.
Let me give some insight into our past. We had known each other from the third class! I don’t know if humans get love feelings at that age, but I had feelings for her. After sixth class, I had to change my school for some reason. Still, those feelings didn’t fade away.
Many times, I cycled miles to just get a single glimpse of her.
Fast forward 6-7 years, I got lucky to have her in the same batch of my coaching. I was overwhelmed and blissful to see her in the same batch. That time passed very quickly, and I was not audacious enough to confront her to express my feelings.
Then after 2 years since we passed the higher secondary class, I was in college and she was too in college (Different colleges and different cities).
Social media came into play. I found her on social media and started chatting with her. We got close, I expressed my feelings finally!! Everything seemed to be falling into the right place. After 1 year-long chatting, we got into a relationship. I can still remember those inexplicable feelings when I got into the relationship, I was on the seventh cloud. Since, we were in different cities, 700 km far from each other, we used to meet whenever I came for vacation.
We had a platonic relationship then. She supported me in every up and down, and I too supported her every time. Whatever I could achieve in my life, a big portion of it was attributed to her.
After college, I landed a good job in Dubai. As I said earlier, I was planning to marry her. Then, here comes the twist. She started a job in a company in India.
Still, we were close enough, were meeting every second month, made out a couple of times. All of a sudden, she started losing interest in our relationship. I thought it was due to distance, so I did not emphasize it much. Then, the time came I could sense that someone started meddling in our relationship. She started lying to me every day for trivial things that I could easily catch.
I discussed with her about the deterioration of our relationship, but she always said it might be due to work stress and all. I even asked her if she started developing feelings for someone else to let me know so I could try to not bother her, but she always kept saying ‘there is nothing like that, you are thinking too much, I still love you’.
Within 1-2 months, she suddenly said her parents are forcing her to marry and she could not marry me because of cast difference. This was the worst feeling I ever had. The girl I had ever dreamt of was leaving me. I did my best to convince her, but she was adamant. Finally, I said okay if you are happy this way, go and be merry with your parent’s choice.
I was broken, though I thought she was happy.
We broke up on 14 Feb 19 (yes on valentine’s day), started talking occasionally, maybe once a week. I kept myself busy with work and started going to the gym to just avoid thinking about her. In April, I came to know (again a big story of finding this) that she has been going out with a guy since Sep 2018 (when we were still in a relationship).
I was completely devastated!!! How could she do this to me?
I confronted her and asked if this was true. First, she defied and said they are only good friends. I was so mad at her, I threw all my tantrums at her and told her you could have at least let me know all this, nevertheless, you chose to lie to me. I have always been loyal to her, even I had rejected 2-3 proposals just because I was in a relationship with her.
But, she deceived me brutally. The next day, she accepted that she has been lying to me. I became unstable, started drinking, lost weight, went into depression, performance at work reduced drastically, sleepless nights, and whatnot. I was living a messed-up life that I had never imagined I would. Whenever I tried to talk to her, she talked to me like she was being controlled by her significant other.
She only said whatever her significant other taught her to say to me. 6 years of our long relationship was nothing to her, she started barking at me on the instruction of her 7-8 month old significant other. She didn’t even feel 1% guilt for lying to me. This was really messing me up. Her attitude was like ‘I screwed up your life and I don’t care about it.’
From this point, I started thinking of revenge. I conspired a plan with my friend but never had the courage to execute it. Somewhere in my heart, I did not want to hurt her. Then one day, I was wasted, I gathered enough courage and executed the plan!!
The plan was to inform her family about her relationship since I already knew that her family is prudish.
But, at the same time, I wanted to keep myself out of this. Thus, I decided to inform her family about her new relationship only. I took the help of an internet messaging system to maintain anonymity and created a fake social media account with the name of a girl. Somehow, I got the contact number of her brother, uncle, and father. But I only texted her brother to observe the reaction first. The text was ‘your sis and X (name of the boy) are deeply in love.
They want to marry each other but they are afraid of you. If you want to check the veracity, you can check her call logs (I knew that she talks to her significant other daily 3-4 hrs.). They are two bodies and one soul. If you want to know more, accept a request from Y (profile on social media) on social media.’ Since I knew that his significant other was from another cast too, they were never going to marry.
They were just having fun.
He accepted my request immediately and we started chatting. He asked many questions like who are you, why are you doing this, how do you know my sis, and many more. I gave him all fake answers and gave him all the info about his sister’s relationship and her significant other.
Post 5 hours, I got 3 messages from my ex saying, ‘please call me, it’s urgent.’ I understood the game has begun.
I called her after 2 hrs to observe how impactful it was. The conversation went like this:
She: (fiercely) Why did you do this? You know my family is prudish.
Me: You did worst to me. Have you ever thought about me before lying to me? And on top of that, your attitude is killing me. You made me use this legerdemain. You fooled me, I fooled you.
Now, we are even.
She: My family would call me back home, I would have to leave my job.
Me: That is what I want. Go home and get married as you said to me when we broke up.
She: You ruined my life. I will never forget this.
Me: I want you to remember this throughout your life, thus you will think twice to betray someone again.
She was rebuked by her brother and sis-in-law badly. Her brother had started an investigation based on the info provided by me. He couldn’t trace me back as I was smart enough to use proxy and fake names and all. I was sure that my ex would never tell her family that it was me sending all those texts. Otherwise, a 6 year of history would have been revealed. And if I were to be involved in this, I would have told her family about how she two-timed me.
After five days, she was called home permanently. That was really gratifying for a while but as time passed I started feeling guilty for this. I can’t even share this with anyone, only one of my friends knows this.”
16. He Spent The Entire Day At The Amusement Park Trying To Find Us
“I have an extremely jealous and attention-seeking younger brother. He is beyond obnoxious to be around. Interrupting everyone that talks, talking twice as loud (and 4x as much) as everyone, making offensive comments about people, and acting offended when he gets pushback. ‘I was just kidding! Jeez!’ He has a special h*****n for me, interrupting my stories, telling the punchline of jokes I tell, loudly telling (and retelling) embarrassing or personal stories about me when we’re in a group.
He no longer gets invited to my gatherings, but occasionally we’ll be at something with the few mutual friends we have.
He began ‘magically’ appearing at some of my gatherings last year. He’s blocked on social media and I don’t really invite the few mutual friends we have, so I don’t know how he knew. Eventually, I learned he’d been drilling my mother (who he sees weekly or so) about what I was doing, which she’d see on social media.
I instructed her to tell him she had no idea from now on. Instead, he began asking to check his email when he was over her house, then quickly pop onto social media to snoop at my events. I have a large social circle and am always doing something, from group hiking to ballgames to food truck rallies.
One time he got wind that a group of me and my friends were attending a ‘weekend spectacular’ at a local amusement park.
He wasn’t invited (literally none of us want him there) but he is so dishonest and manipulative, I knew he would ‘show up’ as a ‘coincidence’ and (AGAIN) glom onto our group, all of whom he’s insulted or offended at one point. In an operation worthy of petty revenge I had a friend invent a ‘Who’s Attending’ stupid thing on social media, then have all of my friends click attending with comments like ‘might be late because of the church’.
We all agreed to go on Saturday instead of Sunday. We all went on Saturday, had an awesome time, and took plenty of photos of the many events happening in the park that weekend.
Sunday came, and I got endless calls (I ignored) and texts along the line of ‘where are you’. He even tried to friend a few of my pals on social media, all just to find out ‘where exactly we all were’.
Come Sunday night, we all posted our pictures, including one friend who is friends with him (but didn’t answer the invite), and he saw that we were all there and had a great time. He was beyond furious that he didn’t see anyone at the events that we were supposedly at. He complained to our mother how he wasted almost the whole day looking for us.
The icing on the cake? He couldn’t ask specific questions about our trip without exposing how he even knew about it.”
15. Won't Vacate My Parking Space? Go Out Of Town
“I have lived in an apartment complex in Lisbon, Portugal (where is important) for the last 4 years. If anyone’s from here, you’ll know parking is a nightmare. Fortunately, my building has a private garage. However, as is often the case, some parking places are more difficult to park in than others.
I have one of the easier ones.
Last year I was offered a job abroad and took it. Thought I’d be nice, parked my car at my parents where they have plenty of space, and left a notice in the building elevator that went along the lines of “I’m the owner of 3B and will be away for at least 6 months, feel free to use my parking spot.”
Ended up being away for longer, almost a year.
I came back to see my parking spot occupied (which was okay, since I offered for it to be used). Put another notice in the elevator, this time to say I was back and would use the parking spot again. I gave it two days and picked my car up from my parents.
Went into my garage, and my space was still being used. I had to park somewhere on the street and decided to give it another day.
The day after, it was occupied again by the same car. I asked a couple of neighbors, and figured out it belonged to a lady living 2 stories above me.
Went up to talk to her, and she immediately got defensive and said that her parking spot is very difficult for her to park in, and since I was away for longer then I had announced I lost the space (which is stupid logic, as the spots are bought with the apartment; it literally belongs to me).
She also told me I couldn’t use her parking space instead as she was using it for storage.
I went to the building admin, who said he’d talk to her. He did and came back shaking his head. Nothing.
I sent a registered letter telling her to stop using my space and giving her 48h to take her car elsewhere. The next day I saw the unopened letter in the garbage bin beside the mailboxes.
I ended up scouting my garage, waiting for her to leave, and would immediately park my car, hoping she’d take the hint. She didn’t, and we ended up doing this dance for a few weeks. Up until the day I came back to see my entire driver’s side keyed.
That was the final straw. I talked to a friend, who owns a towing company.
We chose a Saturday morning (the last few weeks she hadn’t left home on Saturdays – I knew as I had been watching her car like a hawk – so I thought we’d have a good chance of her not noticing anything until everything was done) and towed her car.
The plan initially was to leave the car just down the road. But that felt too close and too easy.
Then I thought about leaving it in a city about 15-minutes away, but it still didn’t feel quite right. My friend jokingly said, “Let’s leave it in Madrid” (FYI Madrid is in Spain, about 600km – 375 miles – away).
I knew he was joking, but Madrid did feel right. I asked if he had enough time.
He had, so off we went.
Once we got to Madrid we went out for lunch, strolled around the city, and waited until it got dark and the streets empty.
In the meantime, we had already decided on where to leave the car, handicapped parking close to a Police Station. And so we did. As a bonus, my friend also took both license plates off the car. Then we drove back home.
It has been two weeks, and I haven’t seen her car since. One of these days I might leave a letter in her mailbox telling her to contact Madrid Police, but in the meantime, I’ll enjoy being able to use my parking whenever I want to.”
14. Let's Just Make A New Town!
“In the early days of WW2 the Army Air Core decided to build a new air force base and they decided to call it Robins AFB. Around that base grew a community, and the town of Warner Robins Georgia was created in 1942.
Wellbeing southern meant you were a Christian back then and it meant your church was very important to you. Now the history is murky on this subject but the tale goes that the 1st Baptist Church of Warner Robins was operating its services in Warner Robins Georgia.
Now after the war many service members have returned from their time fighting overseas and Robins AFB had steadily been growing.
Well, a group of individuals decided to create… their own church also called 1st Baptist Church of Warner Robins.
Now you see that’s a problem because you can’t have two churches, with the same name, in the same town, because to be frank, that’s a bit confusing.
And there were differences in the beliefs between the two churches and apparently the congregations didn’t see eye to eye.
What were those differences between the two Baptist churches? To be honest, I got no idea on this god’s green earth what kinda differences can exist between two groups of people who not only follow the same religion, but the same version of their respective religion, but nonetheless, they fought over it.
Well apparently this went to court, or at least someone with some authority (some say a zoning commission made the ruling, it happened so long ago most people have forgotten), and the decision was made.
The new 1st Baptist Church of Warner Robins could not be named 1st Baptist Church of Warner Robins, it was suggested that they simply call themselves 2nd Baptist Church of Warner Robins. But they felt that god valued their opinion more than the other baptist church and that they couldn’t stand by and be called the 2nd Baptist church.
Now southern, they can be petty.
However they were not allowed to call themselves 1st Baptist Church, so what did they do?
THEY CREATED A BRAND NEW FREAKING TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF A TOWN! They got the residents together, and went through the political process to annex themselves from Warner Robins, they created their own police force, their own schools, their own firefighters, etc. And they named themselves Centerville (I find that name ironic, I don’t think the irony was lost back then) so that’s how in 1958 Centerville GA became a thing.
So what happened after the new town was created? Well, obviously First Baptist Church of Centerville was created.
Now if that ain’t petty, then I dunno what is petty.”
13. His Divorce Attorney Might Resign After Seeing The Envelope
“Some four years ago I left my ex, out of the blue. I just vanished and moved out of the area. She was a diagnosed sociopath, but given what follows that much will become obvious. I moved to another city with just my dog and an inch thick stack of notes she’d kept on me over the previous four years. She was a grad student and a week after I left, Student Legal Services emailed me a threatening suit over my dog which they claimed I stole.
This was odd because it’s outside of their State Bar plan, but the ex could be persuasive and they probably just sent the email to shut her up.
I lawyered up, sent them proof of ownership, and told them to beat it. A few weeks after that she drove an hour and a half and showed up at my job. I was working at a bar at the time, and everyone there knew the both of us.
I got fired for that – they knew what was going on and that she’d be back.
I moved back to where I left needing a job. She found me immediately, and when I rebuffed her advances she filed a small claims suit for my dog followed by a restraining order. A sheriff’s deputy took my dog upon serving me with the restraining order. My dog license, everything I had didn’t mean jack.
I’d have to sue to get my dog back.
She took the dog having used the small claims filing as evidence of ownership. That filing prevented me from filing separate action myself under Rule 57. She had filed the small claims specifically to block me from going to court to prove ownership and filed continuances on it till after the restraining order was litigated. She never intended to argue over the dog.
When I showed up to court, I recognized her partner. Her partner at the bar months earlier was a married legal aid attorney. State Bar allows legal aids to practice law (i.e. – make certain filings, etc) but forbids them from being IN court because they work for free. In other words, they can bankrupt you.
He hit me with a sledgehammer, making the situation all the more obvious to our (former divorce attorney) Judge.
The guy used a legal loophole to steal my dog, as a favor to his significant other/my ex, and after being ordered to litigate ownership in small claims waited out the 10-day statute of limitations on the restraining order and dropped the small claims action. She took my dog claiming ownership without ever litigating ownership. Domestic Violence court can grant possession of the property, but CANNOT determine ownership.
There’s a good reason for this but obviously, it’s a slippery slope.
With the small claims now off the table, I filed a suit myself under Rule 57 (declaratory judgment). If I win, Green Eyes Jerk goes to jail for two felonies and three misdemeanors. That’s no joke, a sheriff’s investigator was watching the case like a hawk. Just like when my dog was taken, my paperwork didn’t mean diddly.
I would have to win my lawsuit before the DA would file criminal charges.
On top, I’d be due treble damages – which eventually amounted to upwards of $90,000 and would probably be billed to the university seeing as they weren’t allowed in court, to begin with. Jerk was apt to make a stink to the man’s wife not to mention the State Bar. The Judge was aware of all this, even subtly acknowledged it into the court recorder several times.
After papers were filed, the lawyer dropped her as a client to help her evade service. Papers had to be refiled and we had to chase her down. When she got served, he resumed representation.
‘If you lose, I’ll tell.’
The same Judge as before yanked my suit off of another Judge’s docket and stuck it on his calendar (which is forbidden by Judicial Standards – you’ll lose your seat on the bench for that), and watched me and this guy beat the holy soul out of each other for over a year and a half like a couple of rock em sock em robots.
He filed motion after motion, memorandum after memorandum to avoid trial and tire me out. Everything he filed – for free mind you – cost me $1000-$1500 per to respond to. While the Judge watched. Voyeuristically. Harder than a diamond at sub-zero. My feeling at the time was, ‘No one will listen to ME”. And who’s Captain Jerkhead gonna tell? What’s he gonna tell them?’
We ended up the longest pet custody suit on record, in the entire country. In number two the defendant was a billionaire heiress.
When the guy realized no one was going to squeal at him, he was a complete jerk.
I made it to trial $200 from bankruptcy. The Judge laughs at the lawyer because he’d claimed both that my dog was a gift and the subject of a contract (stating that I’d traded her for some shirts, having just spent enough on litigation to buy a new car), which ‘you do realize concedes his ownership and we can all just go home.’
The Judge then asked me a series of questions that amounted to ‘How much ya got?’ He knew that H****n Esquire would appeal the decision, and wanted to know if I could afford to fight it. Not that he cared, he just didn’t want his decision overturned. When he figured out I was broke, he stuck Jerk on the stand and called trial without cross-examination.
So the Order – written by her significant other/attorney – listed every claim I’d made and submitted tangible evidence to prove as being the exact opposite. In other words, the Findings of the Fact were the exact opposite of what was attached as evidence. Total mind blow.
My attorney never knew about the relationship. I couldn’t tell him because he’d be bound to tell (Rule 8.3) and it would endanger his career because it would amount to throwing a law school (who didn’t even know the legal aid was in court) under the bus.
God bless him, he just thought the other attorney was a moron, which is not untrue.
After the Order was signed, I emailed the Judge with the other lawyer cc’d, and matter of factly explained the situation, that a witness was willing to go on record that the two had been going out and that I was about to bury everyone.
The Judge flipped a switch and retired before the story made the news.
I kept out the juiciest bit because I didn’t want the man’s wife to hear about it on TV with 2 million other people. The State Bar surprisingly investigated it until it made the news. Two days after air, they abruptly ended the investigation.
I couldn’t tell the man’s wife directly because of the restraining order with the ex. To save his own hide, H****n Esquire would argue that I’d violated it, and the Judge would play along just to keep me from making trouble.
Turned out we ended up in the textbook. They teach us in every family law class in the state now. I didn’t need the State Bar – the story alone ruined the man’s career. Usually, every lawyer already knew who we were. He will never get another job outside of that legal aid position. If (when rather) he loses that job, he will never work in law again.
The university owns him like an Andy Dufresne – a good, talented employee who works for dirt cheap, forever – a six-figure lawyer making 38 grand. Good deal.
The news story made me something of a local celebrity. I was the Tiananmen Square guy who took on a law school over his dog.
I waited until the restraining order expired – three years all told. I put a lot of thought into handling it calmly and tactfully, and when the Order expired I handed a two-inch-thick manila envelope to the University Provost and the man’s wife.
The contents of that envelope would give a divorce attorney a migraine. It amounts to the house in the divorce, his law license and therefore his job, and one great judgment for Alienation of Affection against the ex. His wife owns him until the day Jesus takes him home.”
12. Fries Makes Him Feel Better
“He argued with his significant other so much, I lost count of how many times. She was the first girl he ever loved. He’d call me every Friday night. ‘Aye bro, you tryna chill? We gotta talk about something important.’ That’s a translation to: ‘I just broke up with my girl.
I need you to give me some advice.’
So I went over to his house. When I got there, he asked me to tell him how I felt about my significant other. The truth. I looked at him with the straightest face of all time, put my Carmex on, fastened my shirt, and said: ‘She annoys me. But I love her. She does a lot of petty stuff, and I have to deal with it.
Because like I say all the time: being in a relationship is basically like signing a contract. You agree to the terms and conditions of carrying the weight of your significant other. If you don’t like that, rip the contract up and walk away.’
‘Yeah, you’re right,’ he responded.
‘Of course I am,’ I said. ‘Now let’s go get a Philly steak at Penn Station.
That’ll make you feel better in no time because you know, big fellas gotta eat.’
After we finish eating, I start playing call of duty.
‘Man, I can’t find anybody. It’s 20 people in the game, 10 people on the enemy team, yet I can’t find a single soul? C’mon trey-arch(1).’
(Gets shot from a corner)
‘YOOOO man, you serious?
Nah I’m done. I can’t play this stupid game anymore.’
I left the game. And when I looked up, he was angry texting her.
‘Whatchu doing bro?’ I asked.
‘Texting this witch’ He said.
‘Dang dude. Woah, you ain’t gotta call her that. What happened?’ I said.
‘She was intimate with like 20 dudes. And she lied to me.’ He said.
‘I don’t even know what to do anymore. Man, I feel like punching this phone. Sick of these girls playing with my feelings. She was my first too. But you know what they say: ‘If you can’t beat em’, screw em.’’
We both started laughing.
‘You know what bro? I need some chips to take this off my mind. Let’s go to the store.’ He said.
We walked for 30 minutes. When we got there, he grabbed 4 big bags of chips. I looked at him like he was crazy. ‘How’s that cancer-treating ya?’
He smirked. ‘It’s radical bro.’
We were laughing so hard after that, people started staring. The man scanned our items and we handed him the funds when he said: ‘I shouldn’t have spent that much.
That’s for gas, taxes, walking fees, and breathing payments.’
That only made our laughing worst.
When we got back to the house, he blocked her and canceled the 400$ worth of makeup he bought for her. Not only that, he finished all the chips that very night.
Those hot fries were shown no mercy.”
11. Won't Give Me A Lift? Get Stranded In The Pouring Rain
“This story starts off when I was in the eighth grade. I and these two other guys were like best friends. I was there for them and they were there for me. I was in band class and our class had to do a fundraiser to get better instruments. I sold so much candy and I needed help to carry it all. All in all, I had about 20 pounds of candy and my backpack with three books in it making it about 40 pounds total. The boxes of candy did not have handles on the side making it difficult for me to carry.
I asked them to help me carry some of the boxes and I would give them some chocolate that I bought for myself. They said that they would meet me in front of my class to help me carry the packages. They never showed up so I had to walk home with all the things and when I got home I had blisters on my hands.
My mom couldn’t pick me up because she had to go to work that day. Their excuse was, ‘We couldn’t help you because we had to get a ride home.’ (We lived in the same block.)
One rainy day they were gonna get a ride from me and it was really coming down hard. In the sixth period, I remembered that they did that to me.
I told them after school to meet me in front of the 200 building because I had to pick something up from my friend. They did that and I took the other exit of the school and went over to where my mom was going to pick me up.
I got picked up and when my mom drove by the school I saw them still waiting there.
We get out of school at 2:10. Around 3:15 I heard a knock at my door and there they were soaking wet. It took a lot of strength to keep from laughing at them. They asked me why I didn’t pick them up and I asked them the same thing and closed the door in their face.”
10. Wife's Ex Was Caught In His Lies
“This is a story about my wife’s ex-husband Jeff. After they separated she moved out of town where I met her about 8 months after they separated. Jeff went around to all my wife’s family telling them lies about her and saying I was the reason she left him.
After a while, we got married and started planning a way to get a little payback.
We couldn’t prove anything he was saying because it was a he said she said thing. However, my wife’s daughters came back from a visit and said Jeff was going to go on the computer and find someone to go out with when they went home. So, my wife and I made up a fake ID called ‘Trudy’ on the net and went hunting.
After about a week we thought we missed and had to plan something better when all of a sudden he messaged ‘Trudy’ and we were in business.
Well, things worked out better than we thought and he started spewing lies faster than I could read them. After he talked for a bit, he was honest and let ‘Trudy’ know that he was talking to gay guys and was keeping his options open.
He then started talking a little dirty. He told us everything he said to all my wife’s family and then said that while my wife was with me, she was also sleeping with him. We are in MN and at the time he was talking about it, he was in Georgia.
So I finally had enough of all his lies and we busted him. I told him that that is nonsense because when I met my wife, he was in Georgia.
He was in shock. I went on to tell him if he doesn’t leave my family and friends alone, and stop spreading lies, everyone in her family that he lied to would get a copy of all our talks. Jeff and ‘Trudy’ talked for about 2 weeks before we busted him.
He called the next morning saying how sorry he was and will go to her family and tell them everything he said wasn’t true.
Guess he didn’t want everyone to know about his little secrets. I told him I have everything saved to a disk and if he ever starts his nonsense again, I’ll let everyone we know have a copy.
So far he has been true to his word and left us alone.”
9. Deal With Your Own Dog
“I moved into this neighborhood almost a year ago, and immediately could tell the neighbors on either side of me don’t get along. Neighbor A’s dog gets out and goes to neighbor B’s fence and their dogs fight through the fence. I’m a dog lover and have been trying to keep the peace between the neighbors since I moved in, by putting Neighbor A’s dog back in the yard myself.
Well, last time, I got her back in the yard but she escaped again. Neighbor B’s son-in-law’s solution… to put his Pitt on a leash and instigate a dog fight. I begged him not to do it. In which case he said, ‘You just moved in this neighborhood, learn your place and shut up, idiot.’ So ya know, we got into it, then his wife and mother-in-law wanted to curse me out for talking to him in an ill manner.
Well here we are today, Neighbor A’s dog is out again. Neighbor B is outside raising chaos, begging someone to help her get this dog from her house. Meanwhile, I’m outside drinking my Dunkin Donuts and smoking, smiling, and waving at her, while she’s spraying 5 dogs with a hose. Hope you have a blessed day neighbor, don’t let the dog bite you on the butt.”
8. A Birthday Full Of Pranks
“We were working away from home and sleeping on site. One day I let it slip that it is my birthday.
Mr. E, another laborer working with a different contractor, comes into the canteen. Side note on Mr. E, he was the sort of guy that would sometimes pick up an empty wheelbarrow and carry it on his back.
Mr. E hears that it is my birthday and tries to squirt ketchup on me.
He got a bit, enough to make a mess, not much more than a slight inconvenience.
Later that night when we were finished for the day. Sitting down having a few beers to drink, I let Mr. E know that the world record for smashing beer bottles on your own head is 17. ‘I am willing to bet £10 that he can’t get a better record than that’.
A few others chime in. Four beer bottles later, Mr. E is absolutely leathered, his mates took him off to get cleaned up. Job done.”
7. You Know What, Just Merge My Guy
“I live near DC (US) and had to go in the city where there’s chaos on the roads. This little caveat of chaos was from construction on a tight 4 lane road.
Just ahead of our 2 backed-up lanes is a construction truck arrowing to the right lane.
Everyone understands and starts to zipper.
I’m 3rd inline on the left, but the worker van right side thinks it’s survival of the fittest out here and bumpers up to the car in front of him.
Enter conflict.
This isn’t my first rodeo so at the first buck I realize what’s going on. Being a pacifist I swing left a Lil and go in front of mama van in front of him that was nice enough to let me in.
Mama van was so nice about it, that mama van was nice enough to slow down so that worker van had time to reflect on how to merge as he sat at the red light behind us.”
6. He Thought He Could Stop Their Business
“My grandfather lived in a small town in North Carolina.
Everyone in this town knew everyone and knew he and his two younger brothers sold illegal booze. They were known to get a little rough with people who stuck their noses in their business. He was a very big muscular man, about 6’2 and 220 lbs. (remember this was the 30s) Very seldom did they get a problem from anyone.
One time a new sheriff came into town and decided he was going to put a stop to this illegal business.
He arrested all three and they spent a few days in jail. They were unhappy, to say the least. The breaking point though was when they heard he was bragging around town about stopping their business. The locals all knew he made a big mistake and payback was coming.
They waited a little while and let things blow over a bit. Then the sheriff was mysteriously approached late one night by three masked men.
He was terrified. They stripped him and put tar all over his body and then unloaded a whole bunch of feathers all over him. The sheriff was gone within a week from the town and my Grandfather and his brothers were back in business.”
5. She Took Her Revenge Using His Son
“My aunt found out her husband had been two-timing her with women in his parish (he was a Baptist minister). She married him when she was 19 and he was 45.
He was a guest speaker at her theology class in college and quite handsome despite being much older. He had just gotten divorced and had two grown sons.
Apparently, even though he was divorced he insisted on only marrying a virgin which she was. He was controlling and possessive but she was naive and in love and after 5 months of going out, they eloped. He two-timed her from day 1.
He was abusive and controlling. Less than a year into the marriage she found out he was sleeping with half the women in his parish
She got her head screwed on straight, and left him shortly after… but not until she got revenge. She found out shortly before Xmas, his grown son, whom she had never met, and who had been away at college was coming to visit.
He was 22. A taller, younger, handsome version of her husband. They had a nice holiday, and she left him the day after New Year. The divorce was quick, she didn’t ask for any assets and was happy to just get away cleanly.
The day after the divorce was finalized… she sent him some Polaroid pictures. Of her and his son hooking up. Nothing that showed her face… but definitely showed his son.
Brutal. She went on to marry a nice man her own age and have 2 kids. They’re still together. Not sure what happened to her first husband.”
4. My Daughter's IPad Played An Important Role
“Before us moving states I had a friend that my family basically raised off and on due to whatever reason, but I knew her situation and I allowed her to move in with us. The biggest mistake I could have made. My wife and I had a rocky relationship from the start of our marriage, but we have a child ‘together’ so neither of us really wanted to part ways.
For me, it was because I love my kid and didn’t want to be away from her, and for her, I think it was mostly the financial benefit of having me around and also less stress with having two parents in the house.
Anyway, this ‘friend’ moved in and things were cool. We paid the rent and she paid a bill. Everything was legit cool until things started to unravel.
My wife and I went out of town for her birthday and returned on a Monday. That Tuesday while I was outside on our front porch she came out and told me that she wasn’t happy anymore and she wants a divorce. I was devastated and relieved all in one. Devastated because how could you leave me after all the betrayal I stayed through, but relieved because I wasn’t the one to break us up.
I knew that one day she would try to come back and I would have the satisfaction of declining her because I know how good of a person I am and was.
I would vent and cry to this ‘friend’ for a few months. Literally day in and day out. She would tell me just let it go and to move on because I didn’t deserve to be put through any of that (you know, the normal stuff you would hear during a breakup or divorce).
My wife would drop her off and pick her up from work and I wouldn’t think anything about it until one day after my daughter’s birthday, 4 months after her moving in, stuff just didn’t seem right. My wife’s brother came to my room one night and asked me if I thought they were sleeping together. I told him no because I trusted my friend enough and there was no way she would do me like that.
He told me he thinks they are sleeping together because my friend would be in her room at night. After that night, I would listen for when her bedroom door opened and to hear if the front door would chime. Her door would open and the front door never did so that told me she was still in the house. After a while, I was still in denial. Apparently, they would fight while I was away at work and I would come home to things broken in the yard and the house, but I was still in denial.
My wife came to me one night while I was on my phone talking and said she was going to pick my friend up from work and to watch our child. I asked if our kid had taken a bath yet and since she hadn’t I was going to give her one. I bathed my daughter and when she got out she wanted to use her iPad again.
I did not know the code. I guessed. When I guessed the iPad opened up and I had no intention of going through it, but something said I had to. I fought with myself for a good 30 seconds and then I said ‘whatever, I’m doing it.’ Now, I had no right because we were already going through a divorce, but I just couldn’t fight the urge.
Now, though my daughter uses it, it was my wife’s. Everything from her phone went to this iPad. I found pictures of them going out, screenshot messages from them, the whole 9. They would sneak out on the weekend and get hotels while I was home with my daughter. One would leave the day before to make it like they weren’t together that weekend.
Anyway, I found so many things my head couldn’t process. I waited a good day to say anything. First, I started packing my things in secret so it would be easier for me to leave once I brought it to their attention. The night I brought it to their attention via group chat, they told me I was delusional and crazy and that nothing was going on.
I had the proof on my phone, but they didn’t know I went through the iPad. I moved out in the middle of the night leaving everything behind, but my clothes and my dog.
A month or so after while I was at work a friend of my wife came to my job. She proceed to tell me how the friend was in jail for beating my wife up.
Two months after that my wife got a DUI. One month after that the girl is back in jail (currently) for trying to kill my wife.
I am currently contracting overseas making a good amount and still providing for my daughter. My divorce is still pending going on a year now. My wife and I are on speaking terms for the baby. I believe in karma.
I literally had to do nothing, but walk away and everything else handled itself. I honestly won out of this situation. Not to mention, she ‘misses’ me. Oh, I bet you do…”
3. I Guess Your Password Is Not That Strong
“There was this kid who I played tennis with and he was a total jerk.
He thought he was a big deal and was always talking trash. One night I saw him out in my neighborhood and the kid had the audacity to throw an egg at me. After chasing him down and beating his butt I decided that he needed a little something extra to think about.
First, we cracked his voice mailbox on his pager and changed the PIN so he could no longer get on to change stuff.
We also changed the greeting: Hi, this is Michael and I’m currently single, looking for boys who want to experiment.
Well, the kid’s parents were a little surprised and so were the rest of his friends. The funny thing was that he couldn’t change the message since we were the only ones who knew his new PIN. A lot of times the default PIN for pager VMBs is the last four digits of the pager number.
Second, and this is hardcore and really hard to do, we started messing with his home phones. There were 5 people in his family and 3 of those were teenagers, so you know that the phone was always being used. Anyway, all phones have something called a line class code which tells the switches what kind of phone it is. For instance, a home phone will be designated so and the account will be billed when a phone call is made from that address.
I just social engineered my way through the phone company and had his line class code changed to that of a payphone. Basically, every time he tried to make a phone call from home, he would hear a voice that said: Please deposit 35 cents. Where in the world do you put 35 cents into a portable phone? I guess he couldn’t make any more phone calls from home for a while.
Third, I called the phone company’s residential billing department and pretended to be his dad (social engineering). I told them that people were messing with the phones and that I wanted to put a passcode on the account so that he was the only one who could make changes. The password was ‘pancakes’ and I am thinking that it took him a long time to convince the phone company that he never made the password ‘pancakes’, that stupid idiot.”
2. Her Dad Received Our Special Delivery
“There was this one cheerleader that I and my friends HATED! Not that we have anything against cheerleaders as a whole, but this one always made fun of us just because we’re different (we’re the skateboarders with lots of body-piercing kind of people).
Anywhoo, one day after she humiliated me, I told my friends that I had had enough and so had they, so we plotted our revenge.
The next night, we all snuck out of our houses (at like, 1:00 AM) armed with LOTS of toilet paper, eggs, spraypaint, antifreeze, a picture of her, soap, a lighter, and dog poop concealed in a paper bag. we met at our ‘secret’ spot and went to this cheerleader’s house (we got the address out of the school directory).
We toilet papered her house (and I mean ‘like totally!’) and spraypainted her car! We soaped the windows and wrote threatening messages in her grass with antifreeze. We threw eggs everywhere and burned the blown-up copy of her yearbook picture so it looked like voodoo or something. Then, after we were all done, we burned the bag of dog poop on her front porch, rang the doorbell, and ran into the bushes!
Her dad answered the door all tired and stuff, and GOD WAS HE MAD! Apparently, someone called the police, though, so as we were walking back home we had to dodge into the bushes once because the cops drove down the road. But eventually, we all made it home (we live near each other). We never got caught either, IT WAS GREAT!”
1. People Should Think Twice Before Messing With Me
“Going through a bad breakup is hard but it helps to use the ace up your sleeve. I decided to call my ex’s mother pretending to be her new man.
In which, I called sobbing saying ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get her pregnant!’ Resources told me that she was grounded hardcore until she produced a pregnancy test to prove otherwise.
On another occasion, my best friend has a friend who can be defined only as a big pain in the butt. He, no matter what you say, tries to top it and treats everyone poorly, to say the least. Other people urged me to come up with a revenge tactic so horrible that it would humble him, to say the least. Finally, I had it.
This guy was crazy about his car and one night I dumped chili, a loaf of bread, and split pea soup all over his interior, and to make things worse I put in live mealworms to eat all of this and destroy the car. Lastly, I locked all of the doors and superglued nickels to all of the keyholes. I had help from all of my friends (who also hated him but never told him) to take him out somewhere for two hours two keep him busy.
Well, I was told that he broke down into tears when he saw the car and he had to bust a window to get in. I am one sick puppy.
I also remembered another time when I was bothered constantly by this kid in high school. Arguments were a frequent occurrence in the halls. He got me by sticking gum in my chair. Two days later I had an excellent prank for him.
I bought a two-foot-long piece of the thickest chain I could get and a master lock from the hardware store. I got to school with these supplies and waited quietly for him to arrive on his bike. Soon after, he got there and set his bike on the rack. I waited until he left and tightly wrapped the chain around both his bike and the rack.
I watched at the end of the day as he franticly tried to bust the lock. Finally, he just left and walked home. The bike stayed there for an entire week and he walked to and from school (he was late the whole week).”
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