People Are Desperate For Our Viewpoint On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

“To start things off, I don’t think my friend’s emotional support dog is legit.

I don’t know the process for getting one or what the requirements are so I could be wrong but from my understanding, all he did was fill out a form online, print a certificate, and bought an ESA vest from Amazon.

He brings his dog with him everywhere but it’s not trained at all. It barks at people, pees everywhere, and barely listens to any command. When he brings it over his dog pees on my floor even after being outside, gets slobber all over the floor after drinking, barks/lunges at the tv, and barks when there’s a noise outside (I live in San Francisco, noise is nonstop).

He’s pooped a couple of times but that’s a rare occurrence thankfully and when we order food he shares his food with the dog and gets crumbs all over.

I tried to be understanding that he needs the dog but the more I’m around it the more I’m starting to think there’s no way this dog could be legitimately certified as a support animal. He claims his doctor certified he could get one and as I said I could be wrong since I don’t know the process for getting one or registering one but his dog is not behaved enough in my opinion.

I told him we can hang out but he can’t bring that dog with him, I don’t care if it’s inside or left outside. Cars and people are constantly going by so the barking is very annoying. He got ticked off and pulled up something on his phone trying to say he’s allowed to bring the dog wherever he wants, it’s not safe for him to be without his dog and everything under the sun.

I told him tough luck, that dog is not welcomed on my property under any circumstances.

An hour later he sends me a picture of a letter supposedly from his doctor certifying he needs a support animal and outlining how support animals work.

I said I don’t care what his doctor said or what the ESA website says, that dog is not coming in my house until he at the very least potty trains it. The last thing he sent is ‘I need time separated to comprehend what has transpired and be where I am appreciative and welcomed.’ I think he’s being a drama queen about it because he wants sympathy but a mutual friend of ours thinks I’m being extreme and making whatever his problem is worse by ‘stripping him of his right’ to have an emotional support animal. Am I a jerk or is his dog’s behavior not justified just because it’s an ESA?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ.

First of all, there is a huge difference between an emotional support animal (ESA) and a service animal.

Service animals are trained to perform a specific task for their owner (like protecting their head during a seizure, altering them to low b***d sugar, etc.).

It takes thousands of dollars to train an animal to do this. Because of all this, service animals are viewed more like medical devices than an animal. You cannot deny someone and their service animal access to a public space because of the service animal. You are also not allowed to ask them why they have the service animal, I guess because it’s kind of considered the same as asking a person in a wheelchair why they need the wheelchair.

Emotional support animals are completely different. They require no training (although some are trained). It also does not take much to get the required paperwork for one, and you can indeed get the paperwork online. For these reasons, emotional support animals have fairly few rights.

They do not have any right to go into a store that has a no pets policy. When it comes to public spaces, emotional support animals have pretty much the exact same rights and regular cats/dogs/whatever, which is none.

Of course, this does not stop people from taking their ESA into a store and claiming that it’s a service animal. Some people also take their ESA into a store and rely upon other customers and the employees to not being familiar with the law and claim that the store has to let them and their ESA in.

This is wrong. Stores (restaurants, bookshops, etc.) have no legal obligation to let ESAs into their store. Unfortunately, many people who have an ESA are not actually aware of this. They just heard from a friend of a friend that they can take an ESA anywhere.

The whole point of an ESA is that you and your ESA cannot be denied housing because of the animal. So an apartment complex that has a no pets policy cannot refuse to rent to you because of an ESA.

There may be a couple other ESA rights, so someone feel free to add onto it. But an ESA has no right to a store, restaurant, tattoo shop, bookstore, whatever. And someone else’s ESA definitely has no right to OP’s home.

I’m pretty sure OP could actually refuse the dog entry into his/her home even if it was a service dog, because his/her home is private property.” 4BlackHeart4

Another User Comments:

“NTJ.

I have an ESA and your friend clearly has no idea the difference between an ESA and a Service Animal (Yes there is a HUGE difference).

ESAs are generally untrained (it’s not required) and a prescription by a medical professional (doctor, therapist, etc.) is needed to verify you qualify for an ESA. The ESA is NOT ALLOWED in public places (ex stores, other people’s houses, etc.) unless otherwise permitted. There are a few exceptions such as the place you live cannot BY LAW prohibit your ESA and cannot make you pay for any fees (such as pet fees usually in apartments if they allow animals) and airports/airplanes cannot prohibit bringing your ESA with you on board (but you’d need to show proof via letter from med professional and let them know at least 2 days beforehand so they know you’re bringing your ESA on board).

A Service Animal, on the other hand, can go anywhere with its owner (a business CAN NOT prohibit a person’s service animal nor ask for proof) and are HIGHLY TRAINED (like thousands of dollars of professional training to cater to the owner’s needs).

It sounds like your friend is taking advantage of the ESA system since he’s using it as an excuse to bring his dog everywhere and using the lack of knowledge of the public on ESAs/Service Animals to his advantage.

What he’s doing is ILLEGAL (he can have hefty fines from what I heard if he’s caught). I can’t say too much about his online certification (of their validity) but he cannot force you to accommodate his ESA in your home (if it was a Service Animal, then clearly a different story but your friend said his dog is an ESA and from what you’ve told, the dog doesn’t fit the role of a Service Animal either).

Yeah your friend is a massive jerk in this situation for misusing disability accommodations.” cmonnowmoonchild

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. Emotional support animals are NOT service animals. Let me repeat, they are NOT service animals. This seems to get lost on so many people.

Emotional support animals do not have nearly the same rights under law as actual service animals. Functionally the only difference between an ESA and a pet is that apartments cannot deny an ESA. That’s it. They are not allowed in any other areas where animals are usually banned. So you are under no legal obligation to allow it in your apartment.

You are also not socially obligated to allow your apartment to be overrun by an untrained dog.

See this is the crux of why the distinction between an ESA and a service animal is so important. People try to take their pets everywhere by just slapping on an ESA vest. They’re actively endangering everyone around them by bringing an untrained animal into those situations.

Service animals go through years of training from basically birth in order to handle these situations in loud, unpredictable public areas. 60% of dogs will fail a service animal course, the training is that strict. On the other hand to get an ESA you need a note from your doctor.

That’s it, no training, no papers, no vest, because THEY’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO EVERYWHERE.

Sorry for the rant but irresponsible ESA owners really get under my skin. I’ve been bit by an ’emotional support dog’ in a freaking tutu and vest. Fortunately, it was a tiny terrier so no damage was done, but imagine if it was a big dog.

People have sustained serious injuries from these ESAs, and I’ve seen too many stories of an actual support animal getting attacked by a fake one. Too many people have lost the dog they need to actually survive to these idiots who just want an excuse to take their precious pooch everywhere.

It’s ridiculous, dangerous, and I applaud you for standing up against it.” Sestricken

Another User Comments:

“ESH.

You have every right to forbid his badly-behaved animal from coming into your house.

But the issue of whether it’s a legitimate emotional support animal is irrelevant, and you shouldn’t have turned it into an argument about that.

It is a real emotional support dog, btw, all he needs is that letter from the doctor. Nothing in the definition of an ESD means it has to be well-behaved. Also, legally, emotional support animals aren’t entitled to go places other animals can’t (not that it matters since your house isn’t a public place) – all it means, legally, is that he can’t be denied a place to rent because of the dog (Fair Housing Act).” Rivka333