People Courageously Spill Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
31. AITJ For Ordering Takeout For Our Kids After We're Finished Eating At A Restaurant?
“My husband and I have two children (19 and 17). We go out with our friends (two other couples) every other week and then on the weeks we do not go out with them, we have a date night and then a family dinner out. We always get separate checks, so each couple pays for their own food/drinks, we find it is just easier to do it that way.
On the weeks that we do not take the kids (or ask if they can come in the 19 y/o case since they work), we always have them look at the menu to see if they want us to order them something and bring it home.
We have been doing this for the last five years since the kids were old enough to not need a babysitter, and it has never been an issue, until now. The only time we do not order them anything is when we have plans after dinner, such as a concert or movie.
A new couple joined our group for dinner, they are friends of another couple we go out with, and we had never met them prior to Saturday night. We decided on sushi for dinner, so we showed both kids the menu online and asked if they wanted us to pick them up something to bring home.
They each decided on two rolls. At the end of our meal, my husband ordered the rolls for the kids and let the server know that they were for takeout and to put them on our check. The wife of the new couple got a little huffy and told us that it was rude of us to order more food when everyone was getting ready to leave, and basically said it was trashy of us to get doggie bags for our kids when none of the other couples had.
My husband told her that we do this all the time, and that if they wanted to leave, nothing is stopping them from doing that. The next day I got a text from my friends saying that this new couple did not enjoy going out with us, and that we embarrassed them (the new couple, not our friends) at the restaurant by ordering takeout food for our children.
I asked my friend if she had a problem with us doing that as they had never said anything to us before, and she said no, but she does not want fighting within the group so she asked that we not order takeout anymore for the kids if this other couple was going to be dining with us.
I told my friend that it was rude to ask us not to do this, especially considering that we have always done it without issue, and that maybe we just did not need to go with them when they dined with this other couple since they did not like being around us.
AITJ for ordering takeout food for our kids when we dine out with our friends?”
30. AITJ For Accusing The Pharmacy Of Stealing My Medication?
“I (60F) have been on a medication for many years for my ADD condition.
It is a Schedule 2 substance and must be strictly regulated. It can only be obtained one month at a time. A few days ago I went to pick up my prescription at my pharmacy. This pharmacy is in a well-known large superstore where you can also buy clothes, food, appliances, electronics, you name it.
I’m trying to be careful because I don’t know what the rules are in saying the name of the store, much less accusing them of this.
The medication was put in a bag and stapled. I pick up a few other items, pay for those and go home.
After I put those other items away, I tear open the stapled bag that has my medication in it and open the bottle. I had one pill left from my previous prescription and was going to put it in with my new bottle. But when I opened the new bottle, it didn’t look right.
I have been on this medication for so many years that I know the exact level of where the pills land in the bottle with a new prescription. I counted the pills and sure enough, there are six pills missing. I immediately went straight back to the store, it is only four miles from my house.
I told the staff at the pharmacy what has happened and have them recount the pills. They also show it short by six pills. They recount their stock. There is no overage by six pills or any amount. The person I talked to stated it simply could not be a mistake on their end because they have to count the pills three separate times with two people and this is done on camera.
I said for six pills to be missing, this was more than just an oversight. She said she would check the camera and get back to me.
She called later that day and said everything was fine on their end. She reviewed the camera footage and didn’t see anything unusual. “Maybe someone got into the medication after you got home?” I explained that no, the bag it was stapled in was in my purse and was opened almost immediately after I got home.
She reiterated the process the pharmacy goes through on camera of making sure the count is correct. She was very defensive and kept talking over me. I finally got through to her that I didn’t doubt what she was saying. I told her I have left very good reviews about their pharmacy on their requested surveys.
I explained that I believe that there is someone on their staff who is waiting for that all to be done, then taking pills out of the way of the cameras. I said, “And if that is the case, I doubt I am the only one that is targeted. If they are taking stimulants, they may also be taking opiates and benzos.
After all, how many people count their medications as soon as they get home? If the thief(s?) are only taking a few pills at a time, how many people are going to think to blame the pharmacy?”
So, am I the jerk for insisting the pharmacy stole my medication without having any proof?”
29. AITJ For Being Upset With My Mom For The Way She Acted Toward MIL's Partner?
“My mother-in-law is a strange woman.
She is quite mean and she seems incapable of performing most normal things, such as taking on a matriarch role, being a grandmother, welcoming her new daughter-in-law into the family, etc. That being said she is somewhat aware that this isn’t normal and she feels guilty and tries to compensate for it with extravagant gifts.
I am pregnant. My mother-in-law could not be less interested. She also didn’t invite us to Christmas, has plans to be out of the country when I am due, and hasn’t seen her son in person in maybe 9-10 months for no real reason. She did mention that she would buy us everything for the nursery for Christmas.
I was in shock. She bought us thousands worth of baby furniture. To be clear I don’t feel that we are taking advantage of her. She has admitted that she feels bad that we don’t get along and that she isn’t interested in trying. She even said once the only thing she can give her son is money, so please just take it.
Well, my mom saw my mother-in-law’s partner on Christmas at about 10 pm at a CVS and began harassing him and demanding to know if he left my mother-in-law (because CVS is totally the place a newly single man would go). My mother-in-law’s partner can be kind of ridiculous and started cussing my mom out.
My mom and her friend followed him through CVS and continued to ask him about my mother-in-law and say demeaning stuff about how he must just want intimacy because she has nothing else to offer. He kind of has anger issues and began cussing them, calling them fat witches, saying really below-the-belt stuff.
My mom video-called me crying and I was tired and confused and told him to apologize. I didn’t really get what was going on, but I don’t like how he and my mother-in-law always bring up people’s bodies, so I just said to say sorry and move on.
My mother-in-law was angry and called my husband and called me ungrateful. My husband said we didn’t fully get how bad the situation was and my mom was out of line. My husband did say that my mother-in-law’s partner has some issues he needs to work through and he can’t act like that.
This isn’t the first time he has come to her defense by going nuclear. My mother-in-law called him an idiot and returned all of the gifts.
I called my mom in tears and said she did this. She has been told so many times to leave this man alone and she is the reason my mother-in-law went back on her promise.
My mom said she was sorry and she has issues with peer pressure and going along with her friends. I said sorry doesn’t do anything and if she really wants to make it right she needs to replace everything my mother-in-law returned.”
28. AITJ For Withholding My Stepdaughter's Gifts Until My Son Also Receives One?
“I (31f) have been married to Dan (39m) for 7 years and have Nick together (4m). Dan has a daughter Mel (11f) whose mother passed away during childbirth. We met when Mel was 1.
Mel’s grandparents Tim and Kim (maternal) used to not be a part of our lives.
They never supported my relationship with Dan. They told Mel I was trying to replace her, I didn’t love her, and other comments. Dan decided to go no contact as he didn’t like how they treated us in front of Mel and how Mel began replicating that behaviour.
Last Christmas we all reconciled. During this time, Tim and Kim only brought presents for Mel and Dan. My parents and I were also present and we both bought presents for them but it wasn’t reciprocated. Nick noticed that his sister and dad got a present but he didn’t.
I didn’t like the behaviour and knew as he got older it’ll become more apparent and I don’t want him experiencing that. Me and Dan sat down with them to explain how we felt but they just acted surprised. I suggested we lay down boundaries and how we’d like to approach any gift-giving holidays to be better prepared in the future.
We agreed that for birthdays and Christmas’ we’d give gifts to everyone and it was the thought that counted.
Throughout this year, Tim and Kim only bought gifts for Dan and Mel’s birthday. My birthday was in March and Nick was born in April but we didn’t receive anything, not even a card.
Sent a text asking if everything was alright but they said they were busy and wished us a happy birthday. For Kim’s birthday, my parents let them stay in their second home so they could go on vacation. They took my parents up on that offer yet when my parents’ birthdays came up, they didn’t receive a gift or text.
At this stage we were all pretty frustrated and my parents felt like they were taken advantage of as Tim and Kim were only nice to them until after their holiday.
Last week Tim and Kim came to drop off presents for the kids. They dropped off two boxes, both labelled Mel.
I texted assuming that they’d accidentally written Mel’s name twice and asked which was which but they told me both were for Mel. I asked where Nick’s present was but they said they weren’t giving him one, no explanation. I was fuming so told Dan the situation before responding.
We told them that we would not be giving Mel the presents from them unless Nick got one as it wasn’t fair and we’d already agreed to gift everyone gifts. They claimed that wasn’t fair and that we were showing favouritism, and how could we withhold a gift from an innocent child.
I then said that I’d rewrap it and claim it was from Santa. They posted on social media about how I was favouriting my child and punishing their grandchild for no reason, this was met with criticism directed towards me.”
27. AITJ For Getting My Wife A Fake Designer Bag?
“My wife has been hinting about me getting her first designer bag for 4 years now, and I’ve been always telling her “Next Anniversary I will”, she’d smile and laugh and say something along the lines “it’s fine, love, it’s too much to ask for” even though it’s something she’s been asking for 4 years straight… Our Anniversary is on the 24th, and I just really don’t want to give her it.
I’m not financially unstable, I’m very far from it and I make very good money, but I’d rather spend my money on something that’s actually convenient and helpful to her, not just some bag.. Also, I’m not quite sure who she is trying to impress by attempting to wear designer, we’re not in high school anymore, we’re almost in our 40s and that’s not really age appropriate for her…
Anyways, I just went through with it and did some thorough research, and bought a very similar-looking bag from a trusted website that sells replicas of designer bags for HUNDREDS of dollars cheaper, and the bag I bought was only $300, (the real bag is $700) it looked like the real deal. Unfortunately, the box that the bag came in though was very cheap looking and scratched up.
So, I had to quickly search for someone that is nearby that is selling the real box, and after a day of searching, I finally found someone that lived 3 hours away from me for $150. I took off a day of work while she was working so she wouldn’t wonder where I’m going.
I had to spend a total of $80 on gas driving there and back, gas is super expensive where I live… When I finally met the person, they told me that the price is $250.. I told them they said it was $150 earlier, and their reasoning was that Christmas is close and that they really need the money for presents.
I felt bad about their situation, therefore I added a little extra to my payment, I paid the full $300 because I didn’t drive 3 hours here for nothing.
I came back home right on time, which was an hour before my wife comes back from work.
I put her gift in a nice bag and hid it very well. I can’t stop thinking about what lengths I was forced to go to for her for a designer bag, and I just feel very regretful. At the same time, I should not feel regretful because she really wanted a designer bag, so I got her one..
Just not a real one, but she should still be happy with the gift because she’ll know how much it means to her that I got her something she’s wanted for years. And I’m not going to tell her it’s fake either because I don’t want to risk her getting upset or anything of the sort, especially after the struggle I went through for her gift. I love her a lot, and she means a lot to me.
I’m happy I finally decided on getting her something she’s wanted, and I know she’ll be very grateful too. I just can’t help feeling somewhat bad for getting her a fake one.
I’m stumped on how I should feel about this situation.. Should I feel bad or not?
Or am I the jerk?
Edit note: I paid an extra $50, the full $300, because they were in need of money for Christmas presents.. I felt bad, so I gave extra.. I would rather spend extra on a family in need of money for Christmas presents instead of a designer bag..
I am not materialistic.”
26. AITJ For Being Sick Of Being Forced To Like The Same Things As My Parents?
“My mom is a huge Harry Potter enthusiast. She and my dad actually met in a Harry Potter “IRC” (like Disord but for older folks) in the early 00s, got married, had kids and from day one decided to embarrass us for life by naming us after some Harry Potter and Star Wars characters.
It’s honestly been a nightmare. I have a silly name and since we were little my parents have pushed things like Harry Potter, Star Wars, Marvel movies, etc etc onto us. Everything is about dragons and magic and blah blah blah. I’m so sick of it.
Every birthday, every holiday, everything is just organized around “fandom.”
So just like every Christmas, the days leading up to Christmas we have to sit down every night and watch Harry Potter movies. It’s. So. Incredibly. BORING!!!! I can usually get away with knitting or drawing on my iPad during this but this year my mom was like “let’s just have a technology and distraction-free night every night.”
I arranged to go over to my friend Missy’s house instead for like two nights. Missy’s family is NORMAL and likes things a NORMAL amount. My mom got really upset and started talking about how it’s a family tradition and how I’m basically rejecting her and went on her whole thing about how “you wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for Harry Potter.”
I finally had it and just yelled “NOBODY CARES THAT YOU WERE A BIG NAME IN THE HARRY POTTER FAN CLUB!!! I don’t like Harry Potter! I don’t like Star Wars! I HATE MARVEL MOVIES THEY’RE ALL SO BORING PLEASE JUST LET ME HAVE MY OWN INTERESTS!”
I couldn’t help it I started crying because I was just so frustrated because everything always has to be about Harry Potter this, Star Wars that, and now that we’re all older they started doing Game of Thrones. EVERYTHING is centered around some kind of movie or TV show or book series.
Just once I want my family to bond over something that DOESN’T have to do with media or these nerdy things. We live in Utah where we have like 5 National Parks and even though I ask every year for my birthday I’VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO ARCHES!!!!
Well my sister called me saying that mom was angry and to just come home and to stop with the theatrics. I told her that I’m sick of having all this old “nerd” stuff crammed down my throat and just once I want to have a normal time watching normal Christmas movies and not having to pause for “lightsaber battles.”
AITJ?!??!”
25. AITJ For Telling My MIL That My Husband Didn't Like The Treats She Bought Him?
“My husband suffers from a pretty serious medical condition, and because of this, he is on a special diet prescribed by his doctor. Certain foods are off limits, especially nuts and seeds as they could exacerbate this condition.
The last time he had a flare up he had to have an emergency surgery and was in the hospital for four days, so my husband is very strict about following this diet.
Every year my MIL sends my husband one of those gourmet food boxes with snacks and things like that.
And every year she sends him things that he either cannot eat because of his medical condition, or that he simply does not like. He has told her numerous times to stop sending these boxes because they will either go to waste since nobody in the house will eat them or they just sit on the table in the break room at work until someone throws them out.
On Monday my husband received his box and when he opened it, it was an assortment of mixed nuts and chocolate. He texted MIL and FIL and thanked them, but reminded them again that he cannot eat nuts, but he would take it to work and share it with everyone.
Last night my MIL texted me and asked how we liked the box so I told her the truth, I said that it was a nice gesture, but husband really did not like it because he cannot eat anything that she sent. Apparently this was not the answer that she wanted to hear because she immediately got upset with me.
She basically said that I was lying and only said that to make her feel bad. She also said that if my mother was the one who sent this gift everyone would love it. I told her again that husband has a serious medical condition and that the nuts were number one on the list of foods that he cannot eat according to his doctor.
FIL then called me to see what I said to her to make her so upset. I told him exactly what I told her, and he began shouting at me that you never look a gift horse in the mouth and that next year they will send nothing and make sure to tell my husband that it was because of me, and asked how I would like that.
I told my husband about the conversation with his parents and he told me I should not have said anything. I told my husband that all I did was tell the truth when someone asked me a question.
AITJ for telling my MIL that my husband did not like the gift she sent?”
24. AITJ For Using My Nephew's Trust Fund On Legal Fees?
“Before his death, my father chose me as trustee for a trust that he set up for Jacob, my severely disabled nephew, but my sister was jealous about not having been chosen as trustee and asked me to quit.
She once admitted that she had plans for how to spend that trust money, such as to spend it not only on Jacob, but also on other relatives she is fond of who were not named in the trust. I thought that would be wrong and cause trouble.
Although my sister knows I am an honest person, she told my nephew and his family that I was stealing much of the funds in the trust and suggested that I should be sued and removed as trustee.
Until she made those false statements, Jacob and I got along very well together, especially since I kept sending money from the trust for whatever he needed. But after that he no longer trusted me, even though I offered to sit down with him and go through all the accounts and explain everything in detail so he might understand.
Unfortunately, he is confused and easily manipulated. At the encouragement of some of his relatives who are very, very interested in the trust fund, he hired a lawyer who sent me letters accusing me of criminal actions and threatening to take me to court to remove me as trustee.
I care deeply about Jacob, so I warned him that his legal action against me would force me to hire my own lawyer that the trust would have to pay for and that it would be expensive, but he didn’t listen and said he didn’t care.
He told me he had been assured by people he trusted that I would have to pay for all of his and my legal fees out of my own pocket. In order to prove that I had stolen nothing and remain trustee, I had to pay several thousand dollars from the trust for legal expenses.
Jacob was shocked that the amount was far more than he had expected, and I don’t think he understands what was proven when his lawyer gave up and quit after reviewing my clean accounts.
Now almost everyone, including Jacob, says I am a terrible trustee and that I mistreated Jacob and did not act in his best interest by “wasting” trust money.
I hated having to spend trust funds on legal fees, but I was trying to protect the trust from people who might have misused it if they had taken over as trustee. I was afraid that if I didn’t remain trustee, the entire amount in the trust would disappear at the hands of my eager successor, and Jacob would get nothing more.
Now he continues to get large regular monthly payments. AITJ for spending thousands of dollars of trust money?”
23. AITJ For Not Including My Mom Friend On A Girls' Trip?
“I (22F) and my girls go on a girls’ trip every December since we all have breaks from Uni. We’re a group of 6 girls and have been doing this since we were 18. We weren’t able to go last year.
My best friend (21F) has a 14-month-old son.
Since her son was born, we haven’t had a day alone with her, which I guess is understandable because she is a new mum. We tried to include her in all the plans we had since having her child but noticed she would always ask if we could change what the plan was to accommodate her baby coming too.
This meant the plan was almost always a coffee shop. I genuinely didn’t mind changing all of the plans to be more child friendly, and just assumed she couldn’t get her partner or parents to watch her baby for a while.
I called her a few weeks ago to ask if she wanted to come to a club with us and she asked if we could go to a coffee shop instead so she could bring her baby.
I asked if there was no one who could watch her baby (she lives with her husband who works from home, and her in-laws), to which she replied that she’ll feel insane mum guilt if she goes to a club and leaves her baby at home.
I said I understood but that I really needed a night out, but we could do coffee the next day. She texted me the following day asking why I had such a big problem having her child around. I was baffled because I’m the one constantly changing plans to accommodate her son, but I asked her to understand me for one night.
I really needed a night out and didn’t want to be in a coffee shop. She sounded agitated by my reasoning but left it at that.
Now… the girls’ trip is coming in a week. I didn’t really tell her about the trip because I knew she couldn’t come alone but she heard it from another friend.
She jokingly asked why I didn’t invite her to which I laughed off because I felt so awkward. I told her she was welcome to come as always and I would love to have her there. I thought the call was an indication that she would come alone.
She called the next day to ask if the resort we were going to be staying at was child friendly. I said it wasn’t as we were looking for more of a club atmosphere and that’s what it was. She then said she couldn’t make it then if it wasn’t going to properly accommodate her son in the activities we do.
I said I understand and that I’m sorry.
I got a call from her older sister last night calling me all sorts of names because I didn’t want my best friend’s son to come on the girls’ trip and that I’m being childish.
I’m genuinely still in such shock and don’t know how to even type what I’m feeling right now.
We haven’t had proper fun together in ages because it’s either we’re too busy caring for my best friend’s baby, or a few of us were missing because of circumstances, etc. This is the first time we’ve all been together since we graduated undergrad and started our master’s.
We’ve been having hectic years and just wanted one carefree holiday.
So, am I the jerk for wanting our annual girls’ trip to actually be a girls’ trip?
Edit – I tried to hint once that I wanted my birthday a few months ago to be just us but she laughed it off and made a joke about how she and her son are attached by the hip and she couldn’t leave him.
She asked if we could minimize how much booze there were going to be so she could bring her son.”
22. AITJ For Agreeing With My Partner That My Son Isn't Allowed A Lock For His Room?
“I, a 39-year-old woman, have been with my partner for 4 years. I have a biological son who is 16 years old, as well as 2 stepchildren who are 11 and 13.
My son has been complaining about his younger step-siblings entering his room and taking his things constantly and without asking. I tried discussing this with the children and my partner disciplined the children, telling them to ask first before taking anything and return it if taken, but my son said they haven’t listened and things went back to how they were.
A few days ago, my son came downstairs saying his older stepbrother broke his controller and put it back, telling him he returned it as his dad told him, but the controller was broken. I again went to my partner with this issue and had my son sit and talk directly to him.
My son asked him if he could just get a lock for his room to resolve this issue, but my partner didn’t welcome the idea and told him no because locks bring trouble to his house. My son tried to convince him and assured him that he won’t use the lock when he’s home, but only when he’s at school or working.
My partner still said no and then told him “no lock until you’re 18, period, no more discussion”. The thing is, my son will still be living with us because he decided to go to a community college and my partner told him when he reaches 18 that is when he gets to get a lock and start paying rent and no one will bother him.
My son begged me to say something since he couldn’t take it anymore after his controller was broken, but I agreed with my partner that as the owner of the house he gets the final say and no lock means no lock. However, the children will be facing stricter punishments to enforce the “no touching others’ stuff” rule, but my son was having none of it and started yelling at me and my partner, saying his stepbrothers will never respect his privacy and his stuff no matter how hard their punishment is since they never learn and are stubborn and will always do what they want.
He picked an argument with my partner after my partner said he’ll pay for the controller and then my son called me awful for siding with him and refusing to see the blatant injustice in this house and told us he’s reconsidering staying with us after 18.
He keeps saying I’m not on his side because if I was, I’d be encouraging him to set boundaries and protect his stuff that he buys with his own money. I reminded him of how much my partner helped us (we lost our apartment to debts and my partner took us in 2 years ago, we had nowhere to go) and let him know he’s doing his best to hold the children accountable.”
21. AITJ For Refusing To Forgive My Teacher After She Caused Me To Have A Panic Attack?
“For some background, I am a high school student at a school for “gifted” students. I have a learning disorder, as well as social anxiety and depression, which the school, and this math teacher, have been aware of for a few years.
A symptom of my conditions is RSD, or Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, meaning that I am extremely sensitive to any sort of perceived anger, disappointment, or similar, and will often experience panic attacks because of it.
This teacher, I’ll call her Martha, teaches Algebra and Algebra 2. This is my second year with her as a teacher.
Martha is very loud and often slams on the board or table to emphasize something, as well as raising her voice at students when they don’t understand something. This can be very upsetting to me, partly because of the RSD and partly because I have past trauma connected to loud noises.
(I know that she doesn’t know about that part and is not intentionally trying to hurt me, but it’s still upsetting)
My mom recently hired a coach to help me with organization and getting homework done. Part of the routine is to prioritize whatever homework is due the soonest. One Monday night I had a lot of homework, and saw that my math homework wasn’t due until Thursday, so I made a note to do it later.
The next day, I came into math, and Martha told everyone to pull out the homework. I raised my hand and said “I thought it wasn’t due until Thursday?” Her response was to yell “so you didn’t do ANY OF IT!?”
Yes, she did actually raise her voice, not just speak in a harsh tone.
I immediately felt a panic attack coming on, and not wanting everyone to see me cry, I ran out of the room and went to the office. The secretary brought me to the quiet room.
About ten minutes later, Martha walked into the quiet room and said something like “I’m sorry I upset you.
I didn’t mean to. I am sad that you are missing the lesson right now, people are asking really good questions. I hope you will come back to class.” I just kept my head down and didn’t respond. I was so upset that I ended up calling my mom and going home for the day.
Since that incident, Martha keeps trying to get on my good side again, but I can’t forget it, and I also can’t ignore the way she treats other students. She’s incredibly hostile, especially to the male students for some reason, and constantly tells kids to stop fidgeting/drawing, sit up straight, etc. One kid tried to explain that drawing helps him focus, and she wouldn’t have it.
She entirely discredited him, saying something like “no it doesn’t, stop lying, this isn’t art class.”
Overall I still feel very emotionally unsafe in her classroom and around her. She’s nice to me now I guess, but her disrespect for other students, how loudly she yells, and everything else that I’ve mentioned makes it impossible for me to feel comfortable in her presence.
Am I being unreasonable and letting my emotions get the better of me? I know she isn’t intending to scare and upset me, but it still hurts. Am I being overdramatic?”
20. AITJ For Refusing To Help My Colleague After She Lied On Her Resume About Her Skills?
“I (26) make up the 3D modeling department of my company. The workload has gotten too much for me to handle on my own, so I asked for a second person. The company provided me with a girl (22) who graduated this year from the same college I went to.
This college offers a 3-semester 3D course, of which only the first one is required, the rest is optional, but she told me she’d taken all three. Her portfolio looks decent as well.
To keep this short, everything she produced was messed up and borderline unusable, causing me to spend a lot of time just fixing all her mistakes.
She was also extremely slow, slower than I expected. This confused me, because with her supposed experience, the stuff I gave her to do shouldn’t have been such a struggle. On top of that I always said she could come to me if she gets stuck on something, but she never did.
I asked her why all her meshes are so bad and why she didn’t come to me for help, and she confessed. She’d only taken the required semester, her average was a D because the meshes were horrible and she hoped she could fake it for a while.
I told her that is just not acceptable and that I have no use for her here. (FYI: Calling her meshes bad wasn’t me just being rude. They can be objectively bad/messed up when it comes to functionality and usability. If I said her meshes were ugly, then that would’ve been rude.)
She then told me that she was obviously desperate or she wouldn’t have taken a job she could barely do. She begged me to teach her to get her to where she’s supposed to be, but I was having none of it. I wanted someone to help with all the work I already had, not someone I’d have to teach almost from the ground up.
If I teach her during working hours, I’ll be even more behind on my own work and I certainly don’t feel like using my free time for this. My central problem with this situation is that this is not something you get good at in a few weeks, especially in terms of efficiency and speed, which is why I was happy about her having taken all 3 semesters.
I told her she knew she was underqualified, so she can find out how to get up to speed by herself. Watch some tutorials, do some exercises at home. At work I’ll help her, but only to an extent, or else I could just do it myself in the first place.
But when the boss asks me why I’m now slower than before, I won’t lie. This has obviously caused a rift in our work relationship.”
19. AITJ For Not Rushing To Help My Partner After Her Car Ran Out Of Gas?
“My partner (24F) is NOTORIOUS for driving her car on practically empty gas. I have no idea why she does this but according to her parents she’s been doing this since she was a teenager. She claims she “knows her car” and that she’s never run out of gas before.
I’m the type of guy who fills the gas when it’s less than half full so this habit stresses me out. Since we moved in together about 6 months ago I try to fill it for her as often as I remember so I can keep my sanity.
The past week I have been really busy with a project at work and have been working quite a bit over time. Because of that it slipped my mind to fill her gas. While I was working a bit late on Friday (it was around 6:30) my partner calls me practically crying, saying that her car ran out of gas and she was on the side of the road and pleaded with me to come help her.
I’ll admit I was pretty angry and felt like screaming “I told you so”. I was just not in the mood to leave my work to figure out how to deal with her so I told her I couldn’t help her right now and she needed to figure out how to get out of this situation.
She ends up calling her brother who lives 30 minutes away. He brought a gas tank and everything turned out all right for her. However, she’s mad at me for “the way I spoke to her” and for not helping her. Additionally, her brother is angry at me and keeps accusing me of being a jerk.
He said he left a date to come help her and was mad that I couldn’t “take 30 minutes off from work” to help my partner and if it was up to him she would leave me.
Her brother has never been a huge fan of me so I’m not completely unsurprised by his attitude.
I don’t really think I was wrong. Work is really hectic right now, she wasn’t in any immediate danger and she got herself in this situation. I’ve told her a million times about gas (and I know her parents and brother have too).
AITJ here?
I guess some additional factors: My partner has ADHD and can be forgetful. However she has done a pretty good job of coming up with ways to organize her life when it comes to household chores, finances, and work so I definitely feel if she actually just put in effort she would remember the gas.”
18. WIBTJ If I Rehomed Our Dog Because I'm Tired Of My Wife And Kids Not Helping Out With It?
“I am 33M. Wife is 33F. A few months ago my wife bought a puppy against my wishes.
She asked me if I would be okay with it. I told her now isn’t a good time as we have VERY busy lives. I work 50 to 60 hours a week. She works full-time. We have 2 kids who are busy with school and extra-curricular activities.
By the time we get off work, get the kids, and get home it’s 6 PM at the earliest. Neither of us has jobs that allow us to bring the puppy with us to work. She seemed to agree with me and dropped it. I promised her I’m open to getting a dog but right now isn’t the time and it wouldn’t be fair to the dog.
Fast forward a few days and what does she do? She comes home with a puppy. The kids freak out and start crying tears of joy. My wife was beaming. It was a 16-week-old Australian Shepard. The dog was cute as can be. She knew once I meet the dog I would give in….and I did.
My only condition was that my wife and kids keep up on walking the dog and picking up the poop. She agreed.
For a month everything went really well. Then my wife and the kids gradually started slacking more and more. Now our yard is RIDDLED with dog poop.
A few days ago I got in my car to go to work in the morning and realized I’d stepped in a pile. I had a meeting I couldn’t be late for and didn’t have time to clean it at the moment.
I planned on cleaning it in the bathroom at work. On the drive there I had to turn on the heat because it was 4 am and freezing. When I got to work, my boss pulled up next to me as I parked. I kept my window up and pretend to be busy on my phone….he didn’t take the hint and knocked on my window giving me the “roll your window down” hand gesture.
I reluctantly rolled it down. The smell wafted out of the car right into my boss’s face. He began coughing/gagging and stepped away from the car. He asked me if everything was okay….I believe he was nicely asking me if I had an accident.
I told him what happened and he told me he didn’t want me “wearing poop shoes” to the meeting (it was an important one) whether I cleaned them or not. He said I could wear an extra pair he had in his office. I was humiliated. I’m now known as “poop foot” around the office.
My wife thought it was hilarious until I told her I thought we should re-home the dog. She said I’d be cruel for doing so and the kids would remember that daddy got rid of their puppy. I told her it was her fault for not upholding her end of the bargain.
I told her I’m sick of poop being all over our yard and driveway. I also told her the dog is gonna turn out to be crazy from spending half of its life in a crate. She’s been cold to me since this conversation.
She said something to my oldest daughter about it and I got an earful from her too.
I don’t know if I can go through with it to be honest, but I’m really considering it.
WIBTJ if I re-homed it against their wishes? I have a coworker with a wife who is a stay-at-home mom and he told me they’d take the dog.”
17. AITJ For Backing Out Of Getting A Tattoo After I Was Told The Price?
“About a year ago I messaged my main tattoo artist (I’ll call him Craig), wanting to schedule an appointment to get a piece done. He said he was opening a new shop so the appointment would be scheduled for a few months out, but he said I could put a deposit of 100$ down to solidify my appointment (which would be applied to the tattoo price once I actually got it).
So I sent the deposit to him, and he said it would be sometime in X month but didn’t give an exact date (not completely sure on the exact month, I just know it was a while out).
So X month comes around, and I message him to follow up on the appointment.
He tells me that he’s all booked out and pushes my appointment even further out. I thought this was quite unprofessional since I sent the deposit to solidify my place, and I asked for my deposit back. Craig said that the deposits are non-refundable, and would not be sending my money back.
So I decided fine, I’ll reschedule once again and try to get my money’s worth.
So, appointment day finally arrives and he messages me with the drawing he made. I told him that it looked good, but then he told me the price, which he hadn’t told me when I first sent it to him.
He said getting the whole thing done would be 600$, which was much out of my price range which was around 300-400$. I told him this and he immediately got an attitude. He said that he had already spent 2 hours creating the drawing for me and booked out a few hours of his time to do the tattoo, and said that he was losing out on income if I didn’t get the tattoo (keep in mind I had already sent him 100 dollars as my deposit).
It was out of the question spending 500 dollars more on a tattoo that I should have spent maybe 300 more dollars on max. So after he complained about me not getting the tattoo, I told him that his behavior as an artist was extremely unprofessional (not giving me the price before he drew it, and not keeping the appointment we made when I first sent him my deposit) and said that he already got some money from me that I would be losing out on.
I told him I wished him luck, but that I still would not be getting the tattoo.
What I did the next day was I found an artist that was recommended to me by a friend. The new artist (I’ll call him Charles) got me in the next day, created a drawing that looked even better than Craig’s, and charged me about half the price for a tattoo that ended up looking amazing.
During that period, Craig made a social media post with a picture of his drawing, with a caption that read something like “Apparently the first guy that wanted this didn’t know that tattoos cost more than 100$, so this is up for grabs if anyone wants it”.
It honestly doesn’t bother me that he subtly called me out like that, but I’m just wondering if I’m the jerk for going to Charles and not getting tattooed by Craig.”
16. AITJ For Wanting To Warn My Sister Of What My Parents Are Planning For Her?
“I M29 have two sisters. 18 & 32. This is about the 18-year-old.
We grew up without our dad.
The last time she saw him she was 3 years old. He stays in touch by phone, facetime, etc but it’s not the same. He currently lives in Africa whilst we live in the UK. I’m LC with him for my own reasons he tried to control what I did with my life too much and I just never gave him that control over me so I keep him at arm’s length.
My sister has been a troubled teen and I can tell that living with my mum who is a narcissist and extremely religious had taken a toll on her. She used to be this happy kid who now just looks defeated all the time. And it breaks my heart.
I always stick up for her when my mum gives her a hard time but there’s only so much I can do while visiting.
Recently my sister got kicked out of college and is unlikely to join a college within the next year.
My mum and dad in their infinite godly wisdom want to send my sister away to my dad back home.
I’ve told them both this is a bad idea as she 1) doesn’t know the country and 2) literally does not know a single person there apart from my dad and even him she knows barely. He’s just another religious jerk IMO. I’ve said rather than sending her back, she’s old enough to start work or an apprenticeship.
Something she’s interested in. My dad declined because apparently “A job will make her too independent and we won’t be able to control her.”
This really upset me because what she needs is therapy and love and self-esteem building, not some darn religion and some god.
(Guess you can see why I’m LC) and he asked me not to say anything to her about it but once he has spoken to her, we, me and 32F are to encourage her to go back home as it will do her good. Forget that.
I said do not involve me in any of this because I don’t agree.
I want to tell her NOW and come up with some sort of plan for her. I’d say move in with me but I live with my SO and baby in a 1bed flat so unless she wants the couch she can’t move in.
And I’d have to discuss this with my SO.
I want to help her find her own place, tell her to keep all her documents like passport and national insurance, etc. Help her find a job or a direction she wants to get into because at the moment she’s just existing.
But I know my actions will definitely cause a rift in the family but I guess there already is one. Just an unspoken one.
So AITJ if I help and warn my younger sister and help her get ready with life. I will have to talk to her sternly because she can be an airhead sometimes but again she needs help, not punishment.”
15. AITJ For Not Wanting To Spend Christmas With My MIL?
“I’ve been married for five years and for the most part we manage our families separately. He doesn’t have real issues with my side, but they are not his type of people. His mother hates me and it is mutual. She isn’t fully blown awful to me, but I can just sense that she dislikes me and would be happier if I wasn’t there.
It helps that she isn’t interested in children so all of the boundaries I imagined her breaking have been a non-issue. He sees her alone fairly often, and we see her as a family a couple of times a year and just kind of sit in silence.
We usually rotate who we spend Thanksgiving and Easter with. I am 100% willing to******* up and spent the rare holiday with her, but I refuse to spend Christmas with her for a couple of reasons.
First of all, Christmas is supposed to be magical for the kids.
Her house is pretty boring and not kid friendly. I feel like I have to run after them constantly. She works in the art industry and has lots of expensive, breakable things and her living room is all white. My husband is a great dad, but he is the one she wants to talk to, so I do all the kid-wrangling.
Second, she doesn’t really celebrate Christmas. The house is all decorated and stuff, but they don’t do much on the actual day. She married into a very Italian family so they do a huge traditional Christmas Eve (we aren’t invited, not really my husband’s family) and she ends up doing all the cooking for that and then Christmas is just chill.
The last Christmas we spent with her was when we lived there. She just hung out with her husband and ate leftovers. They are usually hungover in the morning from the night before. They had friends over in the evening and he grilled and I got up late to make a bottle and saw her husband without clothes because they were all skinny dipping in the pool or something, and it still bothers me to think they were doing that while we were upstairs.
Third, and kind of petty. We are still getting established in life and my husband doesn’t have money to drop on gifts like hers does. I think she can sense that I am jealous and gets a thrill out of it. She doesn’t really care about buying for the kids (which is fine, not her job) but I don’t feel like doing Christmas morning together and watching her get 5x what everyone else got.
My husband has been complaining lately about the holidays and how we never do Christmas with her. I gave him my reasons and he said we should still just rotate and it really isn’t fair. I said a hard no and that we won’t be spending Christmas with her, when she hardly celebrates and just kind of hangs out all day and then maybe has her jerk friends over later.
I said we aren’t robbing my kids of actual Christmas so I can wrangle them in her museum of a house while she just sits there in sweatpants half asleep.”
14. AITJ For Telling My Sister That Unless She Involves Our Dad I Won't Be A Part Of Her Wedding?
“Quick context: I (18M) am the result of an affair from my dad. My older sister (22F) is from his past marriage. Our dad wasn’t in her life for most of her childhood after divorcing her mom but has been trying to be active and rebuild their relationship.
Things have been rocky between them for a while since my sister refuses to forgive him or move on from the past but, despite all of this, she and I get along really well. She’s a great older sister and very supportive and I love her to death.
My sister and her partner of five years announced their engagement a few months ago and my family was beyond excited, this will be the first wedding of our generation. She and her fiance immediately asked if I would be in the wedding party and I accepted. They weren’t planning on anything major and wanted to have a quick simple wedding since he has to move for his job at the beginning of next year.
The current date is set for about a month from now. Things were going great and I was helping with the planning up until a few days ago when my sister and dad started fighting.
Turns out, while he was invited my sister was not planning on including my dad in the wedding.
Her grandfather would be walking down the aisle and the dance after her first dance would be with her mom. Her reasoning was he was never there for any other important event so why should he be involved in this one? My dad was heartbroken hearing this and broke down, he’s been sulking ever since and his excitement for the wedding is gone.
He thought this would finally be his chance to support his oldest child and she took that away. I was beyond mad when I heard this since my dad has really been trying to make amends and my sister just keeps knocking him down.
I called my sister and told her that unless she apologizes to our dad and changes her mind about involving him I refuse to be in the wedding.
She was shocked and asked if I was serious and I said yes. I love my sister but I love my dad more and I won’t let her tear him down like this anymore. She begged me to listen and change my mind but I wasn’t having it.
I restated that she rethink things herself and then hung up, I’ve since been ignoring all of her texts and calls trying to talk to me which just upset her more.
My family heard about the situation and is torn. My mom and aunts took my side saying I did the right thing standing up for my father but her fiance and extended family are calling me a jerk.
They said I broke my sister’s heart and just delayed the whole wedding and my dad could get over it. Now both sides of my family are upset and I am torn. I really hoped sticking up for my dad would change her mind but I think I just made things worse.
AITJ for dropping out of the wedding because she insulted my dad?”
13. AITJ For Not Going Out Of My Way When The Parents Of The Girl I Nanny Needed My Help?
“I am a full-time nanny for a four-year-old girl, the only child of a somewhat affluent family. The hours I work (I have an employment contract) are 7 am-7 pm. I do everything for the child, I’m in charge of her whole day.
I’m always aware that this is a job and could end at any moment so I try my best to stay as unattached, I care deeply for the little girl but I don’t love her. I do know that “Cora” loves me because she says it all the time.
Cora is also high-functioning autistic so part of this attachment stems from her autism (routine changes being one of her big triggers). A real quick note: her parents are really good parents, they love Cora and she loves them, they’re just busy, but they are very good parents and very nice people, I don’t want anyone to make assumptions about them, they move mountains for Cora and they’ve been wonderful employers to me.
Normally I work Mon-Fri but I’ve had plans this evening (Fri) that I asked off for several weeks ago so this week I’m Mon-Thurs. Thursday was a really bad day. Cora knew I wasn’t coming in Friday and she was on edge all day. I’d been preparing her for my extra day off all week but it didn’t do much good.
When I left at 7 pm she was having a bad night but her parents are more than capable so I left her in their hands.
Anyway, Cora’s mom called me about an hour ago and I could hear Cora in the background in a full meltdown.
Her mom explained to me that Cora had gone into a meltdown around 9 pm after begging them to call me and make me come back over but they had said no and explained that I was at home and they were home now so they couldn’t call me because it was their turn to be with Cora.
So, something like a 3-hour tantrum (it was midnight my time) and she begged me to come over and help. Now, I’m not heartless and I care about Cora and her parents, but Cora was a handful today, and while I don’t mind taking care of her when I’m on the clock my day ended at 7 pm and all I wanted to do was lounge around my house watching TV before falling asleep.
My plans aren’t until the afternoon so I can sleep in this morning. I apologized but said I couldn’t come over.
Her mom offered to pay me for my time, basically offered me anything I want because nothing they were doing was helping, all Cora wanted was me.
I apologized again but said I wasn’t available and ended the call. I know the circumstances are a little different because of Cora’s autism but I also know if I don’t establish some boundaries they will eventually find ways to break them and I’ll never have a work/home balance.
Still, I care about all of them and it makes me feel bad because Cora is probably still upset right now. AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Asking My Sister To Sign A Contract?
“I come from a large family (13 siblings, currently 35 nieces and nephews). I have been the most successful of all of my siblings.
I have always given my nieces and nephews $1000 when they graduate from high school and once I fully funded college educations for my children, I decided that I want to help my nieces and nephews with college both on my side and my spouse’s side.
In addition to their graduation gift, I currently provide $1000 a year towards college/trade school, etc. Some of my nephews and nieces have already graduated from college and I am providing them with $1000 a year towards their loans. I am in the process of trying to set up a trust that will continue to do this for my family if anything would happen to me.
My sister is a single mom to two of my youngest nieces and she is always struggling financially. She has asked me for this money up front for her kids so she can put it in a 529 and make more on it because she feels she will never be able to save for her kids’ education.
I told my sister that due to the amount that I am currently paying out to other family members I cannot just give her this money right now. I see her point and I am agreeable to this. She wants the 529s to be in her name and not mine with her kids as beneficiaries.
I told her that I cannot afford the initial outlay upfront right now because of arrangements I have with other nieces and nephews but I can give her the amount she needs to start the plans and she can send me a link and I will contribute $100 a month to each child ($200 a month total) until I have contributed $4000 for each child.
Each child will still get a graduation gift from me or the trust. I am figuring out how to account for inflation etc moving forward.
Everything was fine until I asked her to sign something acknowledging that this arrangement is in lieu of giving each niece funds every year towards tuition.
My sister went crazy and accused me of not trusting her and saying that I am always trying to hold my money over her head. She expects me to move money from somewhere else to fully fund the $4000 now for each child. She actually thinks it should be $5000, but to me $1000 is a graduation gift regardless of whether the student goes on to college/trade school etc. She is telling everyone in the family that I am so cold and greedy and that she has to show me proof that she is not taking these funds out of the 529s (I didn’t ask for that, but now almost feel like I should).
I honestly just want a paper trail for my heirs and her kids so that everyone knows the deal and there are no hard feelings down the road.
AITJ for asking my sister to sign a contract because this is an exception to the normal giving that I am doing for nieces and nephews and not fully funding the 529s now.
I can move funds from other investments, but I am not sure why I should.”
11. AITJ For Telling My Dad That I'll Always Feel Upset That He Moved Away From Me?
“I would like to preface this by saying that my dad is not a deadbeat at all and I am blessed to have a stepmom who truly loves me (or is good at faking it).
When I (21f) was younger, my parents got divorced and both got remarried to my stepparents. My stepmom had a daughter my age and then they went on to have a few more kids. I had 50/50 custody but my parents very much let me do what I wanted because they wanted it to be easier for me and so I went between houses as I pleased (like dinner at one and then slept at the other and then spent a few days at one and then went to the other).
When I was 12, my dad moved to my stepmom’s home state and I only saw him over summers and every other holiday and when I reached high school, I became a competitive tennis player so I trained all through summer and couldn’t see him unless he visited me.
We did text all the time but it’s just not the same as being there in person. It always hurt me that he went to my stepsisters’ and half siblings’ events but never mine and it was really really hard not having my dad close by.
I kinda ended up rejecting my stepdad who I previously got along really well with (feel horrible now) but eventually I realized that he was a good man who loved me and was always there even when my dad wasn’t. My mom and stepdad became my primary parents.
Anyways my dad asked me why I don’t act the same way with him and my stepmom as I do with my mom and stepdad and I decided to tell him the truth.
I told him and my stepmom that even though they still kept in constant communication with me, I will always be upset with them for moving (before anyone says anything I should not have had to go with them and leave my mom who didn’t choose to leave and my family and friends) and that it hurt to never have my dad around and that I felt unwanted and abandoned. I felt like I was a last-place kid for him because he chose to be around everyone else more than me.
I told him it took a lot of therapy to deal with these feelings
He and my stepmom got really upset and said they tried their best and it was unfair to accuse them of loving me less. So AITJ because I am pretty sure that my dad didn’t want to move but my stepmom really did because she had cancer and wanted to be closer to family.”
10. AITJ For Wanting A Shorter Wedding?
“My partner (25M) of 7 years and I (25F) have recently gotten engaged. We have very different personalities – I’m an introvert, he’s an extrovert – but we’ve always been accommodating of each other and have found ways to compromise over the years.
Also, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness about 6 years ago. I’m in remission now, but I still experience a lot of fatigue, which he is usually super accommodating of.
Now, these past few months we’ve gone to a TON of weddings, since all of last year’s were postponed. My partner has a friend group of 14 guys, a lot of whom have gotten married this year in large, all-day events.
I will admit I really don’t like these events, as I find them too long to be “on” socially, and I get super tired. Usually, I handle it by napping in the car after lunch or catching someone’s ride home early, as my partner loves these events and has tons of fun with his friends.
So, we were having lunch with my parents this weekend and we ended up talking about a wedding we went to last month. My partner said he would like a similar schedule at ours (we’re in Europe, just in case the meal times look weird): 11 am ceremony, photos after, 2 pm lunch, 5 pm drinks & dancing, 9 pm buffet dinner, and more dancing.
I joked that, with a schedule like that, they’d find me passed out in a corner before dinner, we all laughed, that was it. However, when we got home, my partner asked if I hadn’t liked his schedule idea. I said I didn’t think he was serious, as he knew I would never be able to take a day like that.
He said it was only one day and that it was the only thing he cared about, as he was letting me have creative control of everything else (which is true, even though I don’t care much; if it was up to me, we’d have a courthouse wedding).
He said we could even fit a “napping time” in the schedule for me and that he would entertain the guests while I was sleeping. However, not only do I not think it’s practical to sleep in full hair and makeup, but I also think it’s stupid for the bride to simply ghost the guests mid-ceremony to go take a nap while the groom mingles.
I told him the schedule was literally the only thing I was putting my foot down on, but it really was non-negotiable for me to have a shorter wedding. He said it was his wedding day too, that this couldn’t be an all-or-nothing situation, and that he really thought I was being a bit of a controlling bridezilla.
We eventually left it at that, but I know he’s gone to his friends to vent about this, and one of them knows my brother, so this has gone everywhere and now my mom and dad think I should be more accommodating and try to find a compromise as that’s literally the only thing he wants for our wedding day.
However, a compromise for me is already having a large-ish gathering and an all-day event is simply going to wreck me and I’m not going to have fun at my own wedding. AITJ for putting my foot down?”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Stay With My Dad Because I Don't Trust Him To Take Good Care Of Me?
“I (14f) started having a severe ache in my belly.
I was with my father (52m). My mom (43f) and he are divorced and they have split custody. My brother (22m) lives with my dad. I wanted to skip dinner, but he told me I had to eat. I tried, but a few minutes later I had to throw up.
I went to sleep and woke up later with a worse pain and I had to throw up again, I was crying because of the pain and my brother got out of his room to tell me to shut up. My dad gave me paracetamol and told me to go back to sleep.
I spent the whole night on the floor of the bathroom.
In the morning I asked my dad to bring me to the hospital because at this point I couldn’t lay down. He didn’t want to. I was tired so I slept at my desk.
I asked again to go to the hospital. He told me that we would go tomorrow. I couldn’t sleep and I was crying, both my father and my brother told me to shut up because they needed to sleep. The next day I woke up my father, he said that he was really tired because he couldn’t sleep last night.
I left with my phone and called my mother, and begged her to bring me to the hospital. She came in a taxi, the doctors did some exams and said that I had a bowel obstruction. They put a very long tube inside my nose and gave me a room to stay during the night.
A nurse told me that the tube was supposed to clear my bowel. The next day a surgeon came to check on me and told me that I needed to have surgery because it was already very bad. My mom called my dad and told him, he said that he would be here in 4 hours because he was working.
The surgeon went to make the preparations and came to pick me up, my mom called again and said that dad was busy so we had to wait, the surgeon said no.
I woke up after the surgery and a nurse told me that I lost b***d so they had to give me a b***d transfusion.
When I was sent to intermediate care my family came to visit, dad asked to stay. The nurses had to come to take b***d samples, I also needed to use diapers. My dad complained because he couldn’t sleep, when I asked him to hold my hand because I was cold he told me that we had to keep our distance.
The next day when I woke up he was gone.
Sometime later, I can finally go home. Was my dad’s week, but I wanted to be with my mom. I called and told him. Still can’t walk well, was in pain, and needed to do leg exercises, my grandma doesn’t work so she could take care of me.
He told me that I couldn’t mess with the custody schedule and that he was going to bring mom to court. I told him that I didn’t trust him to take good care of me and I was scared of something bad happening to me because he and my brother don’t care enough about me.
He told me that I was causing trouble. He called my other grandma and I told her everything. She is on his side.
AITJ? My dad’s side of the family says that I’m being a bad daughter.”
8. AITJ For Giving Up Control Of Handling My Aunt's Estate?
“My aunt (43f) and I (36f) were always very close. So when she fell seriously ill in May and ended up in the hospital, she asked me to be her POA (power of attorney).
For 3 months, I was back and forth to the hospital, plus handling her life and medical care.
She was incredibly sick, organs shutting down, tracheostomy to breathe with the help of a ventilator, so this was far from an easy job to take on.
My aunt had 6 siblings. She’s the youngest. She’s only close to 1 (we’ll call her L). The other 5 have never liked her and never really bothered with her.
I’m not close with them either (backstory of religious trauma there) but I updated them regularly. None of them saw her or offered help.
3 weeks ago, she was flown to a hospital two hours away for more intense treatment.
2 weeks ago, I got a call that she’d experienced a catastrophic event and I got myself to the hospital as quickly as possible.
They told me she wasn’t going to make it, I had to make the decision to withdraw her life support. I called my family, begged them to come to the hospital and they all refused. (my aunt L lives across the country and immediately started looking at flights).
She passed a couple of hours later.
I arranged her cremation and the funeral service, sent all of the documents, as well as the receipt for the cremation to my grandma. (L paid for the cremation).
Fast forward to now, and I’m trying to handle her estate, clean out her apartment, and arrange everything that comes with someone passing.
My family thinks there’s money in it for them, so they are refusing to hand over the death certificates, as well as the receipt for her cremation that L paid for. They have said they’re worried about how I’ll handle her finances, even though they haven’t had any concerns at all for months.
They want me to do all the work to settle this, but they want a say in how I do it at every step along the way. The estate is a mess, she died without a will, everything goes to my grandma by default. I was doing the work to settle her estate out of love for my aunt.
My family being greedy and wanting control has made it impossible to move forward because I can’t do anything without those death certificates they won’t hand over. After months of caring for her, making hard decisions, and being left alone with her when she passed, this pushed me to my limit.
So I decided if they want control, they can have all of the control of handling the entire estate themselves, and cleaning out her apartment. I walked away from the responsibilities that come with being the executor of her estate, and now it falls entirely on my grandma and family.
I feel guilty for doing this, but my mental health was already fragile (I have a medically fragile child on top of this). AITJ for giving them more than they bargained for when they blocked me from handling her estate?”
7. AITJ For Telling My Husband I Won't Cook For Him Again After He Threw Out All My Leftovers?
“My husband (31M) and I have been married for a few months. It was a long-distance relationship and he only met my parents/family a handful of times. Usually when my family visits I cook their favorite meals for them and my husband does not like any of those meals and always complains about not finding something to eat despite me offering to include his favorite meals.
He’d usually sit with them at the table out of politeness but only eats appetizers and salads and nothing else. My family noticed and asked about it and he said he doesn’t like what was on the “menu”. He also complains that I keep leftovers for days later and I don’t cook until leftovers are consumed by me of course while he eats fast food.
My family planned to visit today. I prepared their favorite meals and all but they called in the morning and apologized for not being able to come due to family issues which is fine. Everything cooked was placed in the fridge. I told my husband and he wasn’t thrilled and said “great now who’s going to eat all that unwanted food”.
He asked when I’m going to cook and I said until the fridge is empty and there are no leftovers left. He made a face and blurted he won’t eat fast food for the next few days as well.
Later I saw him taking the trash out which was earlier than usual but I didn’t give it much attention until I went to grab milk from the fridge and saw all the containers that had the meals I cooked earlier empty completely except for one.
I immediately confronted him and he said the food smelled “funny” and there was one container that smelled kinda fine and so he left it alone and threw everything else away. I blew up on him calling him nuts and unreasonable to throw away edible food and let it go to waste just because he wanted me to cook fresh meals that he likes.
He argued that I shouldn’t be cooking my family their favorite food every time and should just have them eat what we usually eat and said that he was so tired of eating fast food until I’m ready to cook again. I told him I won’t be cooking again after this stunt and that he needed to deal with it after throwing away money and energy I spent on the food he threw away.
He said I can’t blame him because my family chose to not come and that they were the ones who wasted my efforts. I refused to argue further after I said he could’ve told me so I could send the food to my family instead of throwing it away.
He apologized but only for not asking me first but he still says I went overboard by saying I won’t cook for him again.
He just left to meet his friends to vent and I’m still upset over what we both said to each other during the fight.
Edit, Ok I feel I should add that the food I cook is Asian. My family is from Asia originally while my husband is American.
I learned to cook his favorite meals but he has never been open to try and cook by himself saying it’s never gonna work and he’ll never make a single decent dish.
He said cooking just isn’t his thing and called it a lost cause.”
6. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Man Cave?
“My wife and I got married 4 years ago. She had 2 kids from a previous relationship (now 8 & 10) that she has full custody of. Their dad is not much of a figure in their lives. I inherited my parents’ house when they died about a decade ago and since my wife and her kids were living in an apartment, we decided it would be easiest if they moved into my house after we got married. The kids now have their own rooms, there’s a yard for them to play in, we got a dog, it’s been really nice.
About a year ago, my wife’s dad got sick and passed away. It’s been hard on a lot of her family members, but especially her mom. A few months ago my wife brought up the idea of having her mom move in with us so that she wouldn’t be alone.
I was very hesitant since her mom has her own health issues and adding another adult to the house changes the dynamics of the household completely.
After a lot of discussion and pressure from my wife, I finally opened up to the idea, but there are still roadblocks.
The biggest being that we do not have a spare bedroom for MIL. My wife’s idea is to make the basement a kind of MIL suite. However, I have spent the last decade turning the basement into my man cave. Think bar, pool table, poker table, big screen TVs, etc. I did a lot of the work myself and I’m pretty proud of it.
I told my wife that it’s pretty much a non-starter for me to give up that space as it’s something I’ve been working on for a long time, since before I even met her. My solution is to have the kids go back to sharing a room and MIL gets the other bedroom.
My wife said that her kids have gotten used to having their own space and she won’t force them to give that up.
I asked her why it’s ok for me to have to give up my space, but not anyone else? I told her I am the one who is gaining nothing from having MIL move in.
MIL would get to be around family, my wife gets her mom close, kids get their grandma, and I would have to give up something that I worked long and hard for? Doesn’t exactly sound like a sweet deal to me.
She called me a selfish jerk and told me I’m being ridiculous and stubborn.
She told me that this is now her house too and she’s not going to make her kids sacrifice their space when we have a perfectly good space that MIL could use. I told her that the basement is the one place in the house that I do not want changed, under any circumstances, no exceptions.
We’ve been fighting about this for weeks with neither of us willing to budge. My wife is getting more and more hostile towards me and our relationship is suffering. Do I just need to bite the bullet and give up my space? I think I’m already giving up a lot by allowing MIL to move in with us, but am I being a jerk about this?”
5. AITJ For Calling My Daughter "My Love"?
“Some background: my (28f) older sister (33f) has a habit of making everything about her, has done our whole lives, we are 2 of 4 siblings (another sister and a brother). For example, at my wedding 4 years ago she had a massive fight with her significant other and then announced a pregnancy, 2 days later told us it was a false alarm and she was just late.
When I announced my pregnancy she announced she had broken up with her significant other, less than a week after I gave birth to my daughter she announced she was engaged (to a different guy, that she has since broken up with as well). She has also done similar with other family members, including her own children.
She has 3 children from 2 different dads and has been engaged and broken up with 3 different guys in the last year.
We had a family video chat to catch up so everyone could see my daughter (4 months old), no one has had a great deal of face-to-face contact due to restrictions and distance, some family members have yet to meet her in person.
I use lots of nicknames for my daughter, mainly Bubble, poppet or a shortened version of her name (think Izzy if her name was Isabelle), but occasionally use terms of endearment such as sweetheart, my darling, or my love.
While on the video chat my sister asked me not to use my love as her new partner calls her that, she’s been ‘talking to him’ for about a month and is now apparently moving in next week.
I apologized and said I wouldn’t use it around her, thinking this was reasonable. She said no, I had to never use it again, I wasn’t allowed to call my daughter that and she found it really inappropriate as it really should just be used in a romantic setting.
This confused me and I refused, I said I could call my daughter whatever I pleased and I would simply avoid using the term in front of her. She got very defensive and went on to insult my parenting skills.
Here is where I may be the jerk, I told her, just because her new guy couldn’t remember her name long enough to use it, and chances are none of us would put the effort into learning his, doesn’t mean I need to change what I call my daughter.
She flipped out and left the call, some family members are on my side, some say I was too harsh, am I the jerk in this?”
4. AITJ For Not Agreeing To Babysit After My Mom Agreed For Me?
“I’m 18, female, still in high school (pertinent to the story), paralyzed (also pertinent). My mom is 45. My sister is 28 and has three boys ages 10, 6, and 3.
Four years ago I was in a car accident and came out paralyzed from the waist down. It has been a struggle having to learn a new way of life but I haven’t let that stop me.
I am going to be going to a college out of state next year, and graduating in the top ten percent in my school if things continue as they are.
The one major thing that is a complete bummer out of all of this (other than the obvious) is that my mom thinks that I am now a free babysitter for whenever one of my older brothers or sisters needs one.
She never consults me on these and expects me to drop plans at the drop of a hat.
This past Monday I told my parents about a Christmas movie extravaganza sleepover my friend has been planning. It’s gonna be three girls and we were planning on making brownies, cookies, and watching really cheesy Christmas-themed romantic movies.
And just girl stuff. It was on Saturday (yesterday) and my parents said they had no problem with it.
Yesterday arrived and I’m just about to roll out when my mom comes and says my sister is on her way with her three boys.
Apparently she asked mom if I could babysit the other day and she said yes. Didn’t even bother telling me about it.
I said absolutely not because I already have plans. We fought and mom ended up storming off because this one time I wasn’t backing down.
I took the time and left. Turning my phone off when I got into my friend’s car.
Today when I got home I got called an immature jerk basically. My sister was left without anyone to watch the kids during her husband’s work Christmas party.
I went back on my word (that I didn’t make). Mom told me that I should be grateful she gives me something to look forward to (babysitting) because I have no real social life being paralyzed.
I just went to my room and cried. But now I’m wondering…am I the jerk like they say I am because I refused to babysit and then left my sister in the lurch?”
3. AITJ For Being Upset With My Mom Over Her Recent Actions?
“I’m 18 and my mom and my stepdad are currently going through a messy divorce. Back in early July, my mom admitted to my siblings and me that she had been seeing another man, only after our stepdad caught the two together.
Initially, she insisted it was nothing serious and that she only met up with the guy two times before, just to talk. My stepdad moved out and has been figuring things out for himself while my mom started coming home from work later than usual and going out more often.
I immediately knew she was still seeing the guy, which upset me because she still wasn’t being upfront about it, not to mention she refused to speak to our stepdad, meaning she hadn’t initiated an actual divorce yet.
When I finally asked her if she was still seeing the guy, she admitted she was, and when I told her I didn’t like that she was still seeing him, she told me that the guy had made her happy and that it was unfair of me to try and take that happiness away.
I let her know that I wouldn’t have this same reaction had it been any other guy, or had she waited to see him until after she and my stepdad filed for divorce. I also expressed my worries for her, as she’s been staying out with this guy until 11 or 12 at night, sometimes not even returning home until the following mornings without telling any of us where she’s at.
She claimed the reason why she was staying with this guy so often was because none of her children were giving her enough attention, and that she felt unwelcome in our home.
Upon hearing this, I attempted to make plans with her one weekend, but she said she had to work those days, which was odd considering she’s never worked weekends before.
Then when I went out that weekend, I just happened to drive past her on the street in a town 30 minutes away from her work with a guy in the passenger seat. After this, I stopped trying to make plans with her and could hardly even look her in the face anymore.
I kept finding out more and more lies she had told me and over time, I just got tired of talking to someone who I couldn’t trust to tell me the truth. I’ve found myself actually hoping she won’t be home when I get back from classes or work and feeling anxious when I hear her walk past my room.
I’m so exhausted and heartbroken from the situation but still find myself feeling guilty whenever I’m short with her. She’s my mom, and I love her, but I want nothing more than to move out and have as little connection with her as possible.
Does this make me the jerk?”
2. AITJ For Wanting My Stepbrother To Pay For Half Of My Engagement Party After He Made It About Himself?
“Context about family dynamics:
My F26 stepbrother “Ethan” M30 and I met when we were very young, he grew up being competitive towards me and acted like we were in some kind of race in everything.
E.g. He broke his finger on my graduation day and my parents couldn’t attend.
He decided to put his dog down on my birthday and turned it into a sad anniversary and hated my parents for celebrating my birthday still instead of mourning his dog.
He got married on my mom’s death anniversary.
Years later he seemed to mature and be respectful.
We see each other at gatherings hosted by stepmom and Ethan said he wants me to be an aunt for his future kid (he and his wife are expecting).
Days ago was my engagement dinner it was held in a prestigious restaurant that cost me & fiancé “Morgan” money.
Ethan and SIL showed up unexpectedly and they congratulated us then Ethan finished his drink later and announced the gender of the baby he and his wife were expecting proudly saying “we just found out and it’s a boy everyone!” It was completely out of the blue.
The family got excited and they ordered another round of drinks and started playing guess the name we chose game and chiming in with suggestions. Me, Morgan and MIL were sitting watching how this dinner turned into a gender reveal party. We were ignored til the end of the event.
Morgan was livid saying Ethan was acting like a high school attention-seeking person and ruined our night by stealing the spotlight and redirecting it on him & family. I said we had to do something to at least do damage control after spending money on a hijacked event.
He looked at me and asked “what do you have in mind?”
I immediately sent Ethan the bill for half of everything Morgan and I paid for with a brief explanation as to why he was expected to pay.
He called yesterday and was going hysterical saying I can’t make him pay for anything when I was the one who invited him.
But I did not invite him nor his wife. He argued that he came to the party after my stepmom told him he was invited and he didn’t “intend” on hijacking it or anything, someone asked a question about the baby and he answered. Just repeating “it just happened” and that it wasn’t his fault people got interested. I said he still had to pay but he talked about how this wasn’t even about him or his wife so I can’t claim they were being malicious then stopped and asked “are you…are you being jealous of a baby presumably stealing your “night”?
That’s your nephew!!!” I called him crazy for jumping to such a conclusion and in response he said he owed me nothing then and that I had to stop making unreasonable, entitled demands.
I had a fight with him and he called my stepmom. She told me to knock it off and that it didn’t matter since my fiance is “well off” and can always have a 2nd engagement dinner if it’s such a deal. I refused and demanded he pay.
He and his wife explained how I should be focusing on being an aunt rather than punishing them like that.
Yes I did say that if he doesn’t pay then they won’t be at the wedding.”
1. AITJ For Not Getting Rid Of A Dreamcatcher?
“For backstory, several months ago my dad donated some funds to a school in a Native American reserve, and as a thank you they sent back some gifts.
One of these gifts was a beautiful dreamcatcher that looks to be handmade. My dad was going to throw it away but I instead took it because I felt bad throwing away such a lovely gift. I hung it up in my room and did some basic research to make sure I was treating something in a culture I wasn’t a part of with respect.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago and I’ve moved into an apartment with my roommate while we attend grad school. We invited some mutual friends over to show off the new place and one of them (let’s call her K) seemed to look uncomfortable after we got to my room.
I asked multiple times if she was OK and she said she was fine.
Well, as we were chilling out in the main room, K asked about the dreamcatcher and I explained how it was a gift. She looked unimpressed and honestly kinda mad when I told her.
She basically said how it was cultural appropriation and that I was being disrespectful to Native Americans by pretending the Dreamcatcher means anything to me.
I was confused, as were my other friends, and when I asked her to explain, K basically said that as a white person, I am not allowed to own anything that was created by Native Americans and that I should get rid of it.
I told her again that it was a gift, and that I wasn’t going to throw it away. I also reminded K that she’s white too and I don’t think she has any authority on whether or not I can keep it.
She got mad at me and said that I was being a jerk and that since there wasn’t anyone else to do it, she would have to tell me about how disrespectful I was being to a culture I didn’t know anything about.
I just said if she didn’t like it, she doesn’t have to go into my room. The rest of the night was pretty uncomfortable.
Well, after she left, apparently she was texting some others in our friend group that I was appropriating Native American culture and that I’m racist. The only reason I know this is that some of these friends were sick of her and told me about the texts.
(Apparently this isn’t the first time she’s been grandstanding about something)
At first I was mad but now I’m just confused and concerned. Am I the jerk for keeping the Dreamcatcher? I thought it was alright since it was a gift. I really don’t intend to appropriate/disrespect Native American culture.
Side note: I am aware that there is no singular culture for Native Americans. I didn’t want to say the school name or the reservation the school is on out of respect for privacy. I’m doing my best to be vague about it.
Edit: K is not my roommate. Just a friend in my friend group (though after this, that’s debatable)”
