People Brace Themselves For Our Thoughts On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
31. AITJ For Telling My Parents That I'm Moving In With My Partner?
“So my (21F) family is very conservative, religious, and can just be downright mean.
My dad (61M) can be very hurtful with the things he says and if someone brings it to his attention that what he said was messed up, well they’re just over-emotional.
He always tries to tell me what I’m going to do instead of just being nice and asking (“you’re going to take your sister to school” vs “could you take your sister to school”).
I’m sure that seems like a juvenile thing, but growing up I was never allowed to make my own decisions and it really bothers me that even as an adult I still can’t.
So fast forward to Christmas Eve.
My parents, sister, and I were going to my uncle’s house, which we do every year. Everything was going fine until dinner started.
The topic of my partner (Ty, 23) got brought up. We’ve been seeing each other for about a year and a half but my extended family hasn’t met him and only has limited knowledge of him.
Well, my dad decided to throw his opinion in and said that Ty is ‘alright’ but I ‘can do better’. He criticized the way Ty dresses, the fact he’s not going to college, his job, and on and on.
I was annoyed but I managed to change the subject.
My uncle asked how school was going for me and I explained that it’s going well but I’m just really busy with it and my job (I’m currently a CNA and going to school to be an RN) and I’m very stressed. My dad threw in a comment about how I’m only 21 and I don’t know what real stress is.
This annoyed me too but I just kept talking about what the classes are like to the people who were listening.
Then my dad said how I’m never home and that it annoys him that my ‘little partner’ sees me more than my own family.
(Ty comes to visit me at work and brings me lunch/dinner and hangs out with me on my breaks).
So then I snapped and told him that they’re going to be seeing me even less because I’m moving in with Ty.
(Which is true, we do plan on getting an apartment together but we haven’t actually found one yet). Well this started a HUGE fight in front of EVERYONE.
My dad literally said “no you aren’t” and I insisted I am and my mom was having a breakdown because I’m catholic and need to be married before I move in.
And I kept going back and forth with both of them and finally just walked out of the house and down the street to the gas station and got an Uber.
I went to Ty’s house and his family was more than happy to have me stay with them for a while after I explained what had happened. They said they’ll help us look for a place that’s affordable and safe and that until then, their home is my home.
So I’ve been here with them since Christmas Eve and today my dad called me and yelled at me for dropping that news on them in front of everyone and that my uncle asked them to leave after I left and they’re embarrassed of me.
He also said that me going to Ty and his family over them is really messed up and I should be ashamed.
So AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Starting A Fight Over Curry Puffs?
“Christmas may be ruined because my sister went psycho about curry puffs.
My mum makes these delicious curry puffs for my siblings every now and then. The thing is that they’re so delicious, my (26) brother (28) and sister (27) literally scoff as many down as they can no matter how full they are, and us not living at home anymore makes them like a hot commodity.
I don’t do that because it’s ridiculous, I would eat 2 per day until they are all gone as much as I love them. But the thing is that because my brother and sister eat as many as they can in one sitting, they literally scoff eg.
5 in one go and they leave nothing for anyone else (me and my parents). They also like to make fun of me and say things like “you snooze, you lose” because it’s my fault for not being quicker and eating 10 in one go.
So basically what happened was after dinner, my sister went to get another curry puff which was her sixth curry puff on that day, but her partner wanted some so she gave him half. Because she wanted a full one for herself and she just gave her partner half, she got up to get another one meaning she would have seven and a half curry puffs in one day.
I spent the whole day at my partner’s house so I didn’t get a chance to have any yet until now, which I still decided not to have because I was full from a large Christmas lunch and dinner.
So I stopped her from taking another since I haven’t had my share and there were only 6 left, and I wasn’t going to eat all, I was going to split it up evenly with my parents even though my mum insisted that she and dad were only probably going to have 1 each meaning that I will have 4 to myself.
I take the container of curry puffs and she starts chasing me around the dining table, getting visibly angry, and starts yelling at me to give her one because there was no way I would eat all six now and that’s unfair because I can’t “reserve” them.
I asked her are you listening to yourself because she literally ate 6 and a half whereas everyone else in the family only had an average of 3 and I had 0 so far. She continues to yell at me that she doesn’t care that I’ve had none and to give her one more.
I start to laugh because this whole thing was so ridiculous, I just wanted my share of mum’s cooking, and the yelling goes back and forth for a while. Anyway, it ends with her swearing at me, telling her partner to shut up, and also her stealing one from my partner’s portion that my mum packed for him to take home, so now he only has 2 left. Also she is now not talking to me.
So AITJ for not letting her have 1 more curry puff so she could have seven and a half while everyone only had around 3? I just want a normal family and to eat my share of curry puffs peacefully.”
29. AITJ For Making My In-Laws Leave After I Was Yelled At?
“My (33f) husband’s (35m) parents arrived to stay a week for Christmas two days ago.
We welcomed them into our home and accommodated them without any bad feelings.
Everything was going fine until this morning. I had overslept a little so went straight to the computer to log on to work, skipping breakfast. I’m pregnant so severely sleep-deprived. The morning was fine, I stopped work at noon and then started wrapping all our presents.
When I finished I realized that I was starving so went downstairs to make lunch.
While doing this, hubby took it upon himself to check if I needed any ingredients for the Christmas dinner. This was great of him but I said no, I had everything I needed. His dad decided to intervene saying “why don’t you put XXX and YYY on”.
In my state I fobbed them off saying yeah I’ll throw XYZ in if it comes to it but for now I’m ok”. I had done all the shopping last week anyway. I told hubby this but he kept stressing me out saying that the shops were closing soon.
I asked him to leave me alone while I ate, so he left the kitchen.
Once I finished eating I called out to him, perfectly fine and stress-free now, to show him my recipe and reiterate that I had everything I needed. He insisted and said that I shouldn’t have stressed out because he was just trying to help.
I explained that it was because I was tired and hungry from skipping breakfast. Then he took an “I told you so” tone and said why didn’t I wake up earlier. I started to get very annoyed as I’d told him repeatedly I’d been having bad side effects from the booster jab and sleep deprivation, and I guess my body chose today to oversleep.
He then got mad and walked away in the middle of the conversation. I wanted to sort things out but he was acting like a child, and I told him so.
When he finally came over to the other room where I sat I was livid at this point.
It escalated into a full-blown argument. We usually make up very quickly after fights though so I was confident it would all be ok once we both calmed down a little. Then came the shocker. His dad decided to come in and shout directly at me and said that I was the problem, that his son only asked me what I wanted from the store.
I had never in my wildest dreams expected to be shouted at like that in my own home when I’ve done nothing but welcome the visitors.
After that I went upstairs in shock, hoping to cool down a bit.
Hubby followed me, also in shock and clearly realizing that what his father had done was uncalled for. He told me that he shouldn’t have shouted at me like that, and I felt that he was generally on my side.
We chatted and hubby went downstairs to tell his dad that what he said to me was not cool. Presumably, this ruffled feathers because five minutes later, his (step)mum came upstairs to tell me that they wanted to go home.
I said that they didn’t have to, but she was already one foot out the door. So they booked their flights and have since left without a goodbye to anyone. AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Demanding My Husband Get Back My Jewelry That He Gifted To His Brother?
“I, f36, have always been into jewelry.
I used to own a variety of jewelry sets but due to unfortunate circumstances, most of them had to go so I could afford rent after I lost my job. My husband never got lucky to land a job since 2013.
Thankfully now I have a stable job that gets us by from month to month.
I also kept one set of jewelry which is the most valuable whether monetarily and/or sentimentally since it’s part of a family heirloom. The set includes a pair of earrings – a bracelet and – a necklace.
All gold material and again they are worth a decent amount. My BIL has been with his partner for 10 years and they recently got married. It was a huge deal for the family. My husband wanted to get them a decent wedding gift and tried borrowing funds from friends and neighbors but got turned down.
He kept stressing out about it for weeks and just the other day (the wedding was days prior and the groom and bride are off to their honeymoon) I discovered that my jewelry set was gone. I freaked after my husband nonchalantly said he gifted it to his brother’s wife as a wedding gift. I was fuming I asked how could he and he replied that he had no money and nothing of value to give the newlyweds and besides that set has been sitting in the closet since July 2019 and I never wore any piece of it so he figured I’d forgotten about it but he said he’ll figure a way to pay me or get me a similar one once he starts working.
I very loudly told him absolutely not and gave him 3 days, just 3 days to return the set or I’ll stop paying for everything in the apartment. He looked puzzled like he couldn’t believe I was serious. He said he doesn’t want to cause an issue but I said it’s already there and if he doesn’t want issues all he has to do is contact his brother or his wife and retrieve the set or go get it himself.
He tried to twist the argument and offer the same solutions as mentioned above but I refused I said I just want my set back and he has 3 days only. He kept talking about how tasteless and disrespectful it’d be for him to retrieve a wedding gift and said this will damage his relationship with his brother and family and also how impossible it was to retrieve the set in 3 days when the couple are on their honeymoon in another country.
AITJ for this? He said I was financially abusing him by threatening to stop paying for anything knowing I’m the breadwinner. Also he refused to give me their new contact info to retrieve the set myself.”
27. AITJ For Getting Mad At My Partner's Friend For Trying To Warn Me About Something I Already Know?
“I’ve been with my partner, let’s call her Lizzy, for just over a year and a half, she doesn’t come from the most well-off family, and staying out of debt when she gets out of college has always been a worry for her.
Around six months ago she brought up the idea of joining an online content creation platform (known for adult content) to me, she said that if I wasn’t comfortable with it she’d drop the idea completely and that it was just another brainstorm.
We talked about it for a few days and I reassured her the entire time that it wouldn’t bother me, and the moment it did I would discuss it with her.
I come from a very religious family but I myself am not very religious, It’s very well known how religious my family is so most people just assume I’m the same since I’m pretty reserved and have never said otherwise.
A few days ago one of Lizzy’s friends asked if we could meet up somewhere, I said sure and told Lizzy I’d be meeting with one of her friends. I met Lizzy’s friend, let’s call her Sam, at a coffee shop and she looked pretty concerned. It’s worth noting that Sam had a huge thing for me but backed off a bit when Lizzy and I became a thing.
Sam told me that she felt I had the right to know and told me all about Lizzy’s online content creation, what content is on there (even showing some pictures), how long it’s been up, and that she’s even done commissioned content.
I just sat there, after she finished I thought for a moment before going off on her. I told her that I’ve known before her online content was even set up and I even helped in creating the account, I made a “What the heck” face and asked her if she had even asked Lizzy if she had told me before making the decision to “spill the beans”.
Sam looked flustered and said that she only thought I should know and I told her that I DO know and my relationship with Lizzy isn’t her business. I was pretty harsh in how I said it and left the shop without paying for my drink, I told Lizzy who seemed really confused since she and Sam were really close and Sam had never really asked about the online content.
Now I’m getting calls from mutual friends of Lizzy and Sam saying that I should have been nicer about it and that Sam was just trying to do the “right thing”, I didn’t try to defend myself but one of them let it slip that Sam still cared about me like more than a friend.
I was pretty rash in my reaction and Sam only had good intentions, she and I aren’t that close so she might have thought I was like my family and Lizzy was keeping it from me… so AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Refusing To "Cancel Christmas" For A Grieving Family?
“So this just happened. I live in a gated community with my parents and my brother and his partner, we all love Christmas so when it’s time to decorate, we all have a great time doing it together as a family activity.
Anyhow, we have a family as neighbors that had 2 little girls, sadly, one of the girls passed away like 1-2 weeks ago, we don’t know what happened, just that it didn’t happen in the house.
So a few days ago we decorated and everything was fine, until it wasn’t.
Like an hour ago we heard someone knock on the door, so I go and it was my neighbors. I greeted them and commented on how lovely their dog is (they came over while walking him). They seemed standoffish, like I had offended them or something, so I just asked if they wanted to come in.
They said no and proceeded to yell at me about my family being disrespectful to their mourning and that it was inconsiderate for us to be in front of the house where they could see us, having fun decorating, and leaving all the decorations on when we “obviously know how much it meant to their little girl”.
I was baffled to say the least. My dad heard the argument and came down and basically told them that he is deeply sorry for their loss, but that they can’t expect all the families in the neighborhood to just “cancel Christmas”, like would they get mad at family reunions to celebrate too?
He explained that Christmas is also emotionally heavy for us, since it’s the time of the year that both my parents were diagnosed with cancer, and had to spend several years in the hospital right during this season, so therefore, we use it to celebrate being all here and together.
He told them they were more than welcome to come over to decorate the tree all together since the other little girl loves doing it, and that it would be something that could cheer her up a bit, but that they can’t ask us to change our family dynamics, whether we celebrate Christmas or not, and if we can “go on with our lives” because they said that it’s unfair that they’re stuck with their grief and nobody else is showing any.
(We did send them flowers and cooked some meals to take to them so they wouldn’t have to worry about cooking).
The mom started crying hysterically and acting a bit erratic, afterwards he kicked them out, and they left yelling all sorts of insults and stuff and saying we’re awful neighbors for not caring about their daughter’s death.
My grandma said it cost us nothing to just take the decorations down and do family activities in other places, and that we were jerks for how we treated a grieving family. So AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Telling My Neighbors I Won't Babysit For Them?
“My husband and I (F) moved into a new neighborhood a few weeks back.
The new house is great. We have our own yard and both us and our doggies enjoy it a lot.
We’re childless and we don’t plan on having children. We’re not comfortable around kids, especially very young ones and we have zero experience in dealing with children.
Our neighborhood is full of parents. We’re the only childless couple. Since we moved in, we have been friendly with our neighbors and their children, but we don’t join their activities. They have barbecue parties, swimming pool parties and they gather with their kids, etc. and we don’t really like the noise of kids, so we just keep our distance.
Some have made rude comments about this saying we need to socialize more and I kept explaining that’s how we are and they need to accept it.
Anyways, yesterday one neighbor came to me asking if I could babysit her two kids (5 and 7) all day Saturday.
I politely declined explaining that I don’t feel comfortable taking care of such young children. And even if I were, I have no time to babysit because I’m doing some freelancing on the weekend which I don’t want to reschedule since I’m very much enjoying it and making income out of it.
She said okay and left. Then her husband came and demanded I explain myself. I said I already did and he said that ‘not feeling comfortable’ isn’t a reason and I’m a woman, how can I possibly feel uncomfortable? That annoyed me and I snapped telling him he doesn’t dictate what I’m supposed to feel and I have no obligation to watch their kids.
There are many other parents in the neighborhood that can do that or they could hire a babysitter. He said why hire when I’m childless and available for free?
I got really angry and shouted at him that I’m not a free babysitter just because I have no kids of my own.
Told him to go away and never come to me with such ridiculous demands.
The neighborhood group chat blew up immediately with all sorts of bad comments about me. They’ve been calling me a jerk for refusing to help. When my husband came home he was shocked at their demands and wanted to go yell at them some, but I stopped him.
Now, some of the comments in the chat made me think they’re right and I am a jerk. It’s tough raising kids. And it’s difficult to find reliable babysitters. So, am I the jerk for not helping the parents? I was pretty confident I’m not a jerk, but now I don’t know anymore.”
24. AITJ For Wanting To Make Banana Bread Despite Someone Being Allergic To Bananas?
“I’m a college student.
At my school, pretty much everyone lives on campus, and each dorm building has one communal kitchen. I would estimate around 75 people live in my building and we share a kitchen. Tbh not many people use the kitchens and just rely on the school’s dining system.
Pretty early in the semester, someone put up a sign on the kitchen door stating not to bring any bananas into the kitchen because “someone will die” (then proceeded to elaborate that this “someone” had a severe banana allergy). My first thought after seeing that was that it was a little unreasonable to regulate a SHARED kitchen of strangers based on one person’s allergy, but that I didn’t really care because at the time I didn’t plan to use any bananas in there anyways.
Over time though, I realized I have been avoiding certain recipes and foods I like to avoid using bananas, despite never having actually met this mysterious banana allergy person. I decided it’s ridiculous to be policing what I eat based on someone else’s allergy, so I decided I was going to bake some banana bread (which I always loved to bake at home and really missed).
So I put up a sign under the original sign saying something to the effect of “WARNING! I will be using this kitchen to bake banana bread on x date at x time. Please stay clear if this is dangerous for you and I will be sure not to leave any traces of bananas when I’m done.” Note there is no way to formally reserve the kitchen.
I thought this was fine and that it was not unreasonable to expect allergy person to not use the kitchen for a few hours on a random Wednesday, especially with warning days in advance. Right?
Wrong. I get there at the time I allotted to a group of upperclassmen (I’m an underclassman) who immediately realize I’m the one planning to bake banana bread (given that I show up holding bananas).
They immediately rip into me about how I’m being “incredibly selfish” and “putting someone’s life in danger”. They said I should’ve used a different kitchen and that it’s ridiculous to have such disregard for others when using a communal space.
They also said since it’s a communal kitchen I can’t “reserve” it and just expect to have the space to myself because other people need to eat.
Tbh I’m anxious and not very confrontational, I’m a freshman girl and these are a bunch of senior guys, so I kind of just apologize and leave.
But I’ve been fuming that they made me out to be such a horrible person for wanting some banana bread. It’s unclear if the person with the actual allergy was part of the group that confronted me because I didn’t stick around to ask questions.
My opinion is that someone’s allergy shouldn’t take constant precedence over other people’s freedom – if you have an allergy you are responsible to avoid the allergen, not expect everyone else to cater to you or adjust their eating habits around you.
However I can also see how it might have been unfair of me to expect the kitchen to myself if banana person had planned to make food that day/time. AITJ?”
23. WIBTJ If I Confronted My Stepbrother's Partner About Her Rude Comments?
“I (24F) suffer from celiac disease and have for several years.
I cannot digest food with gluten in it and exposure to even the tiniest amount of it makes me violently sick. This is important to the story, as I am the only person in the entire extended family who has it.
Every year since I was little, my mother has hosted Thanksgiving. My stepfather has a son from his previous marriage (35M) who was not around much when I was a kid. His mother, so my stepdad’s ex-wife, had most custody, so I saw Peter about once a month at most. Peter has a new partner, Hannah (32F) who he brought around for Thanksgiving.
My mother made almost entirely gluten-free dishes and labeled everything for me and others to limit cross-contamination. The only non-gluten-free dish was stuffing. She has always done this because she wants to keep me safe—for other family gatherings that she doesn’t host my family usually forgets about my celiac, which is okay, I can stick to salad for a night, no problem.
However I do struggle with some anxiety and shame—I hate feeling like I’m inconveniencing my mother. I don’t live at home and I was diagnosed with celiac after leaving the nest, so she only cooks gluten-free when I’m visiting and I know firsthand how much harder it is.
So like every year I helped her with the gluten-free dishes. We did not have Thanksgiving last year and we only invited family we knew was fully protected to this gathering.
Here’s the problem. Hannah very loudly complained to one of my cousins about “all this gluten-free crap.” She knows I have celiac disease because she asked me why I wasn’t eating the cake at my stepfather’s birthday party this summer (store-bought) and I explained my allergy and answered her questions.
My cousin told her politely “well Megan is allergic,” (I’m Megan) and Hannah again loudly said “well she doesn’t have the right to ruin our Thanksgiving because of it.”
I don’t care if she doesn’t like me, but I found that deeply hurtful, as this is the one family holiday where I get to eat most of the food because it’s my mother making food.
And more importantly, I thought calling my mother’s DAYS of hard work “crap” was very rude. However, because over half the family was there and she’s new, I decided to wait and not call her out in front of everyone.
But my mother was visibly offended and I had to console her.
We are going to see her again today because we are celebrating Hanukkah. I am debating pulling her aside and asking her to apologize to me and my mom.
I think I might be the jerk if I do so though because she may have forgotten this and I don’t want to divide my relationship with my stepbrother. Is asking for an apology justified, or WIBTJ?”
22. AITJ For Staying With My Aunt After My Mom Lashed Out At Me?
“My mom used to treat me really well till I was about 13 but after that she became a bit distant from me.
She doesn’t let me hug her. We don’t really talk anymore. It is like living with a stranger. She always pays for things and she isn’t mean to me and I guess that is part of growing up. Things were fine and I was used to her being not really involved in my life but things started to go badly after I broke up with my partner.
My partner had been unfaithful to me and wanted to confess that she had kissed another guy in our school. I kinda yelled at her and told her to get out of my house and that we are done. I also kinda cursed her out.
My mom heard that. She comforted my ex while she was crying and after she left she yelled at me. She was so angry. I have never seen her this angry. She said a lot of things but I don’t remember most of it but she said I was growing up to be a jerk just like my father was.
I don’t know even who that guy is, all I know is that he got my mom pregnant and left town. I can’t stop thinking about that. I don’t want to be that. I just couldn’t handle it.
She has yelled at me in a similar fashion for a whole month.
I was really scared to leave my room at this point. My aunt called to check up on me and I told her mom was being mean and she said mom was having a tough time and she would get better.
I told her that I would send her something later that night of my mom screaming at me. My mom yelled at me for eating like a ‘pathetic half breed’ that night and I started to record the rest of what she yelled at me.
I send it to my aunt. She was shocked and said she will pick me up in the morning.
She told mom that she wanted me to stay with her for a few days and when I got there she refused to send me back.
My aunt is really nice to me and it has been two weeks.
My mom is calling me and telling me that I had abandoned her and that if I didn’t come back, she will have to waste a lot of funds fighting court to get me back and she said I needed to come back and that I shouldn’t abandon my own mother on a whim.
I feel like the jerk because mom is all alone. It always has been mom and me and I kinda miss her. I am sure she misses me too. I feel like I am leaving her forever.”
21. AITJ For Being Annoyed That My Sister Is Anxious About Her Baby All The Time?
“My (F21) sister (25) just had her first baby a few months ago.
He, “James”, was born completely healthy, got to go home the same day. She had a very easy pregnancy and delivery (said so herself) but for some reason is always freaking out thinking there is something wrong with her baby.
About a week after James was born, my sister got a call from his pediatrician saying they needed to redo one of his newborn screenings because he was too close to the borderline. My sister started freaking out, crying, acting like this meant he was going to die even though he hadn’t been diagnosed with anything or even failed the test; they just needed to redo it to be safe.
He passed the second time.
Her next freak-out came when he was about 7 weeks old. She started saying he hadn’t smiled yet and everyone she knew who had babies started smiling at 6 weeks and saying maybe this is an early sign he has autism.
My parents kept saying it’s completely normal for a baby to not smile right on time and her pediatrician even said they weren’t concerned but she was extremely upset and stressed by this. I asked her if she would love him any less if he had autism because that’s how she was acting and she looked disgusted and said of course not, she just wants him to be okay.
He smiled a few days after this freakout.
The most recent freak-out was his first roll. He rolled for the first time at 12 weeks and that seems like something parents would be excited about but nope, she was worried he rolled too early and this could be a sign of cerebral palsy.
I’ve read that early rolling can be an early sign but 12 weeks is not considered “early rolling”.
I was finally fed up with this and told her she is so lucky to have such a healthy baby and some people would kill to be as lucky as her and she needs to stop freaking out and be grateful.
I told her it is starting to look like she wants there to be something wrong with him. She just said something like “okay sorry I won’t talk about my health concerns anymore” and has been very distant since.
I recently found out she made a new family group chat without me in it where she sends pictures and updates on him and it’s making me wonder if I went too far and hurt her feelings.
AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Telling My Mom I'm Doing Everything Not To Be Like Her?
“My (28F) mother (48F) and I are not very close but we’re working on our relationship.
My mom had me right before she turned 20 while still living at home. I was an “oops” baby lol. Because of this, along with her still wanting to live her life, my grandparents raised me.
Growing up she was more of a big sister. My mom says she wanted to be a more active parent but my grandma (Gma) took over and mom didn’t fight. When I was 8, my brother came along. I noticed how vastly different her parenting was with him vs me.
When I was old enough to understand the true dynamic of our family, I gravitated more to my mom. She was delighted but I quickly realized she would become “mom” only when she was upset at me and wanted to be petty.
Ex: telling me I could confide in her to avoid blowups with Gma then spilling everything to Gma when she got mad or finding ways to spoil my brother while excluding me using Gma as an excuse. Plenty of times she’s told me in anger she regretted having me and she should’ve not had me.
I learned to not trust her or have any real hope in a relationship with her. It’s all kinda messed up and hard to deal with as a teen who just wanted her mom.
Fast forward to having my daughter a few months before I turned 20, basically the same situation my mom was in.
I eventually got myself together, moved away (within the same city), got married, and now have a 3m old son. During this time I came to realize I was following in my mom’s footsteps, move for move. It terrified me.
I had no desire to put my kids through what I did. It was so hurtful and demeaning. I actively worked to change it and I’m doing pretty well about it.
Recently, my mom commented how I was following in her footsteps and being “just like her” as if she were proud.
I’m sure I looked appalled. I said, “oh god no! I’m doing everything I can to NOT do that!” She looked surprised and said, “you had your kids at the same ages as I did, you’re with an older man, you live in the same city, your daughter is with her grandparents… how is it any different?” I told her how much her actions affected me and when I saw how I was treating my daughter I made the decision to break the cycle.
She looked crushed and said, “I thought I was your role model.” I said, “if anything, you were the perfect example of what NOT to be. I refuse to do that to my kids.” She teared up and hung up (we were video chatting.) Her husband later inboxed me and told me that was a jerk thing to say, I’d really hurt her, and I needed to apologize.
My husband, who’s been with me through all the nonsense, sides with me, saying she needed to know that.
We haven’t talked in a week. I feel torn because I don’t feel like I should apologize for the truth but I may have been a jerk in my delivery.
I wasn’t trying to hurt her but she really threw me for a loop. So, AITJ for saying what I did?”
19. AITJ For Telling My Daughter That Life Isn't Fair And She Just Needs To Accept That Her Twin Can Afford Luxury Items?
“I am the father of 17-year-old twin girls “Alyssa” and “Lauren”. About 7 months ago Alyssa began to amass a following on TikTok, and since then she has had several sponsorships for big companies like Hello Fresh and Fashion Nova.
Now, my wife and I both work hard and make decent money. However, when the girls turned 16 we asked that they both get part-time jobs to fund their own activities and belongings. In exchange, we assured them that we would cover completely the costs of tuition and room and board for any college of their choosing.
Since then, both girls have purchased their own clothing, paid for their own meals when out with friends, pay for their own subscription services, gas, etc. Things like toiletries, food at home, car insurance, and phone bill are still covered by myself and their mother.
So here’s where things get rough. When Alyssa started getting her sponsorships, she quit her part-time job. Since then has begun to splurge on luxury items like designer bags, clothes, makeup, takeout during lunch at school, and she even purchased her own car.
The car that was once shared by both girls now belongs solely to Lauren.
Lauren has regularly expressed how it isn’t fair that Alyssa gets to have all of these nice things while she does not. She has requested more than once that we help her purchase some of her clothing and other things so that she can have designer items like Alyssa.
I explained to Lauren that this would not be happening, and that Alyssa is able to purchase the things that she has because she is using her money that is available to her. Lauren has complained about how Alyssa simply posts videos to make income and about how Alyssa’s job is way easier with more compensation.
Lauren is also upset that Alyssa now drives a nicer car than her.
I explained to Lauren that in this world there will always be people out there that have more than she does, and that she needs to learn to have gratitude for the things that she does have.
I told her that her mother and I are happy to continue paying for necessities and that we of course will still fund her education, but that anything else needs to be covered by her. Following this conversation, Lauren has been giving everyone in the house the silent treatment.
I had a talk with Alyssa and told her that she should save her money rather than spend it and that she should consider how her spending might make Lauren feel. I even suggested that she consider gifting something to Lauren every now and then, whether it be lunch out during school, makeup, or whatever.
This was not well received by Alyssa and she stated that it is her money, and it is up to her how she should spend it, which I couldn’t really argue with.
AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Buying The Dress That My Friend Wanted But Couldn't Fit In?
“M (29f) and I (28f) have been friends since university. She’s always been overweight (but not obese). In U.S. sizing, she’s a size 12-14 and I’m a solid size 6 (this will be relevant later).
This past Saturday, we went shopping for a dress for a wedding.
After multiple stores, neither of us had found dresses. That is, until we got to this place. Immediately after we walked in, I zeroed in on a GORGEOUS dress. There were only 2 left, both too small, so I asked an employee for a size 6, and she left to check.
In the meantime, I continued to browse.
Soon after, M rushed to me carrying the same dress in a size 2. She then rushed off to an employee before I could say anything, and asked for a 12. When she came back, she was bummed and said that they don’t even make the dress in her size.
I tried to cheer her up by helping her find another. I ended up finding her a dress in her size that she really liked, and it fit her well!
A bit later, the employee brought me THE DRESS in a size 6, which I immediately tried on.
I loved the way it looked and fit, and wanted to show it to M. When she got to the dressing area and saw me, she was not happy. She sorta froze for a few secs, and then walked out of the store.
I purchased the dress, and saw her sitting in the sitting area in front of the store. She still looked upset, so I asked her what was wrong. She then gave me the saltiest look I’ve ever been on the receiving end of, and proceeded to tear me a new one—in front of the many people walking by.
My heinous crime? Purchasing a dress that she wanted, but couldn’t fit. I was shocked and embarrassed, so I just walked away, and sent her a text saying that I was getting an Uber home.
The following morning, I received texts from M, M’s sister, and a few mutual friends, telling me about how I owe M an apology for being an inconsiderate friend, and basically demanding that I return the dress (I bought it on sale, so I couldn’t even if I wanted to).
I was annoyed and flabbergasted, so I sent a mass text to all of them, except M, saying that I would not be returning the dress, and that I was looking forward to them seeing me in it at the wedding (some of these people are also attending the wedding).
I then sent M a separate text stating that A) I saw the dress first, B) I had no ill intent when purchasing it, and C) I didn’t appreciate her yelling at me in public, and then complaining about me to others.
I then let her know that I’d be available to talk once she’s cooled off.
It’s been 3 days, and M still hasn’t responded to my text. Her defenders continued to barrage me with text messages throughout Sunday and Monday, so I ended up blocking their numbers.
I’m just disappointed, tired, and peeved. This wedding was supposed to be the first big event my friends and I have attended together in a while, and I’m getting less and less excited about it by the day.
I’m starting to think that I should feel bad for buying the dress, but I simply do not. AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Feeling Hurt That My FIL Said My Foster Sisters Aren't Real Family?
“Context: Grew up in foster care. Through foster care I gained 3 foster sisters. I love them to death and we’re still in contact as adults.
Husband and I have been together for 7 years. We recently moved back to his hometown to be closer to family.
We are close to his family. It means I see my mother-in-law (MIL) and father-in-law (FIL) a lot more. My FIL is hard to get along with but we’ve grown closer in the last few months.
However, earlier this week we had our first fight.
We were spending time together as a family (including my sister-in-law and her kids). The topic of family came up and my 6-year-old niece asked me about my family. I told her I had 3 sisters and didn’t go into any more detail (I don’t want to explain foster care to a 6-year-old).
My FIL was very confused and pressed me for more details. Despite the fact that he has met my biological mom, my foster parents and he knows of my sisters (even though he hasn’t met them). I finally said that I had 3 foster sisters and he responded “Oh I meant real family.
They’re not real family.”
Now I got very upset by him saying this. I had to excuse myself from the room and leave because I didn’t want to cry and be upset in front of everyone. I have a really hard time sharing my emotions with anyone.
Then my FIL was angry that I got upset and left the room.
Days pass and I don’t hear anything from him. I recognize that he didn’t realize his comment was going to hurt me, but I thought once he realized he hurt me that he would apologize.
That was not the case.
My husband then asked me to talk to my FIL. I’m upset that I have to reach out after he said something hurtful, but I just want to put the drama behind us. So I go to talk to my FIL.
Not only does he not apologize, but he presses into the wound. He tells me that I don’t have real sisters, that they don’t care for me, and that they don’t consider me a sister. He has no idea that I still talk to them frequently.
He is really angry that I got upset and left the room when he made the original comment. He thinks that I should apologize and he tells me not to expect an apology from him.
I am now more upset than before.
When I told my husband what his father said he went to his father and they got in a huge fight. Now everybody is upset.
I didn’t want this to be a big drama, but my FIL continues to insult me and my family, won’t apologize, then gas lights and victim blames me that I’m the one who did something wrong.
I explained to him that I left the room because I was upset and I needed space, but he’s still angry at me. He’s more angry that I got upset and called him on his cruel comments than he is about hurting me.
Now we’re at a standstill and my husband and I are just going to have to concede. Because my FIL will never apologize or feel remorse.
My sisters are the only family that I got to have. And I don’t owe it to my FIL to explain my relationship with them.”
16. AITJ For Telling My Ex That I'm Actually Looking Forward To Her Moving Out?
“My ex and I got together over 3 years ago, and moved into my house after a year.
She has two children from a previous relationship. We also have a child together who is now almost a year old.
We mutually decided to break up a few weeks ago.
I have my reasons, and she has hers but ultimately her kids play a big role in the breakup. Not their fault, it’s more about our different parenting styles. Due to my ex’s trauma from when she was a child and the kids’ bio father emotionally mistreating all 3 she had a protective bubble around them that was a massive source of conflict.
I could write a list but I don’t see how it would be beneficial to this.
Anyways, we broke because we didn’t want to resent each other for our child’s sake. Like the way she resents her other kids’ father.
They have been staying here until she finds a new place. However, she keeps making remarks about how I’m going to struggle on my own, especially when I have my daughter half the time. I’ve left it be because I’m pretty sure she is projecting, she will no doubt struggle.
I was having a particularly bad day at work and she knew and brought up how I’m going to cope with work and our daughter.
My life would be easier when they move out.
Yes, I will be having my daughter 3 nights/4 days a week, I changed my work pattern so when I do have her I don’t have to work.
So I have no issues there.
Looking after my daughter will be a breeze, I have no issues now looking after her. In fact I make sure I have her more than her mother because I love spending time with her.
And it will be even easier when she and her kids move out for so many reasons. The biggest is that all 3 cannot help themselves and always have to disturb my daughter when she is trying to sleep, so she then doesn’t sleep and gets cranky and whines until I take her to my mother’s so I can put her to sleep in peace.
All 3 are extremely messy, my entire house is a minefield and it stresses me out to no end and none of them clean up after themselves. I also find myself doing more for her kids than she does, I always take them to school and pick them up, take them to their after-school activities.
Make sure they are fed and shower often as otherwise she wouldn’t remember. I also pay for everything related to the house. We only split shopping and petrol.
So I told her that when they move out I will have more money to save.
Because I will be spending less on bills, and this is after me paying more than I should in child support. My house will be back to being clean and tidy, which will reduce my constant stress. Looking after my daughter will be less stressful because I will be able to put patterns in place to help.
I will have more free time because I’m not spending it cleaning up all their mess, running around all day for her kids when it is her job.
My life will finally be back in my hands. She didn’t take it too well and has been quiet ever since.”
15. AITJ For Going To HR Because My Colleague Won't Let Go Of The Past?
“I (31F) work at a top consulting firm and recently we hired Jane (30F) who reports recursively to my peer’s team.
I have not worked with their team on projects so far but as my peer and I landed a major account, we will be seeing more of each other.
Last week Jane scheduled a 1:1 with me and read me a riot act, saying that I should step down from the project because I ruined her life when we were children and she is traumatized by me being the lead for this project, and that if I had any remorse I would step aside on this project and let my peer take over, and that I owe her this much courtesy.
I was so taken aback by this that I was silent throughout it all and ended the meeting by saying, “I see you are deeply hurt by my past actions. Let’s take some space and let me think about this.” In our work Slack, she pings me every other day asking when I will be stepping down.
I can’t step down because I landed this account and even if I could step down, this would completely derail my career trajectory to Principal.
I scoured my memory for bullying and asked my close friends from childhood who all told me the same version of this story from when we were 13/14, and I do recall this.
We were all in Chinese language school together on Sundays and we did not like how Jane would copy our outfits and lie to fit in with us. I think we found her to be very annoying and so I did not invite her to my 13th birthday party or any events where I included the other girls.
She found out (none of us went to class that Sunday) and her mom called all our moms and yelled at them for excluding Jane. When I asked my mom about this, my mom said that she had no idea who Jane’s mom was at the time and that she didn’t think I was doing much at Chinese school anyways.
I definitely see how this would be awful as a 13 year old to be ostracized by a group of girls that she identified with. At the same time I find it deeply unprofessional how she behaved at work. I scheduled an HR meeting for later this week because I am at a loss for what I should do here.
AITJ because I refused to step down from a project because a woman I formerly bullied is on the team and because I’m going to HR to resolve this?”
14. AITJ For Not Being Happy On My Wedding Day?
“I (30f) have been with my partner for 7 years and married for 4 of them.
I love him and I am genuinely happy with our marriage and the life we’ve built together with our children. I was happy the day he proposed. I was happy during our honeymoon. We’ve had our ups and downs ever since, but overall I would say that I was happy.
Although, I wasn’t happy during the planning and actual wedding. Why? Because it wasn’t the wedding I wanted.
A few months into the engagement my husband’s grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and wasn’t expected to live long. Our wedding was predicted to be the last big family event that she would ever attend.
Of course I felt sad and was more than willing to change the date of the wedding to better suit her needs, but what I was not expecting was that it would become HER wedding and I was to be treated like a figure on a play set.
She picked out the venue, the color scheme, the food, music, the flowers, and even my dress.
It all started out as subtle suggestions but when I started to try and put my foot down I was called a heartless bridezilla who couldn’t honor a dying woman’s request, and the fact that they were paying very little into the actual wedding would be a jerk thing to bring up.
After a fight, my husband was told to reconsider the engagement if I couldn’t do this “one thing” and how a wedding was more important to me than actually becoming a part of the family. Knowing that I’d never win, I sat in my car and cried for an hour mourning the loss of the wedding I wanted and in the end let the In-Laws have their way.
I didn’t even attend further meetings to discuss the planning and left both the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette party early.
On the actual day, I swallowed my disappointment and just went through the motions. Since then my sister and best friend each had their weddings and I was MOH for both and was excited each time.
I took my role very seriously and had a lot of fun. My cousin is getting married and asked me to be her MOH and I jumped at the chance. Recently, I’ve been spending hours on the phone/Zoom putting together a planning binder.
My husband took note of my enthusiasm and made a joke about “missing that energy” on our day and brushed it off. After that I cut down my wedding planning in his presence but he wouldn’t let up citing that we don’t keep any wedding photos out, that I got rid of my dress as soon as I could, and how I looked so much more happy at someone else’s wedding than our own.
He wouldn’t let up and eventually we got into a fight where I finally confessed that while I love him I hated our wedding. My husband is now hurt and giving me the silent treatment. AITJ?”
13. WIBTJ If I Didn't Want My Friends To Come Over Anymore?
“I (27M) and my partner (29F) visited my friend last summer. He has 2 kids with his wife, a newborn, and 2 y/o.
For context, I was college buddies with the friend but I’ve gotten to be good friends with the wife as well. I was the best man at their wedding.
I was excited to see them, and they let us stay with them, but they did not let us in on the fact that we would be sharing the same bedroom as the 2 y/o until we got there.
I was fine with it, but my partner was not, but she took it in stride. I wish I would’ve known the fact prior because I would’ve discussed it with my partner and we probably would’ve gotten a hotel.
(She and I are fortunate to be able to make enough to make audibles like that on the fly) This was my partner’s first meeting with the family and I wanted it to go well, so I would’ve gotten the hotel to prevent any friction, but I didn’t do it b/c I didn’t wanna make my friend and his wife feel like I’m rejecting their home.
Anyways the 2 y/o is going through his terrible twos but is a little spoiled. He does the typical stuff: scream, cry throw tantrums but he will also intentionally vomit for attention. My partner never said anything but she’s got a crappy poker face and was visibly disappointed with the 2 y/o’s behavior (the puking is a big sticking point, it happened multiple times throughout the weekend).
Later after we left, the wife called and asked if my partner had a problem with her kids, b/c the wife could see the disappointment on my partner’s face. I told the truth (something about honesty being the best policy) and said that she doesn’t dislike the kids, but she wasn’t extremely happy with the way the 2 y/o behaved. The wife gets super upset and says stuff like as a mom she has an obligation to defend her kids, and she shouldn’t ever have to fight anyone about her kids, the kids will always come first, etc.
We had plans for us to return the favor but now the wife is saying I need to have a talk with my partner about the way she is around the kids. I responded that I have (and I really did), but I’d like her to meet me halfway and realize the 2 y/o wasn’t behaving.
The wife was having none of that.
At this point I’m kind of frustrated because:
- I get my partner has a bad poker face, but she never said anything bad or did anything like storm out of the house.
Her face just showed visible frustration. And I think a normal human reaction to a kid intentionally blowing chunks on the floor for attention would be “what the heck.”
- I’m not a fan of the White Knight parenting. There’s room for compromise in most situations and I’m not okay with the unconditional defending stuff.
If you can’t recognize bad behavior and you just wanna defend it unconditionally I think that’s not okay.
At this point I kind of wanna rescind the offer to come see us because I’m not a fan of the whole “she has to like my kids more” thing.
And if the wife can’t see her kid’s bad behavior then I don’t wanna risk a weird situation.
WIBTJ if I said to just scratch the plans?”
12. AITJ For Being Mad That My Mom Always Begs To Use The Bathroom When I'm In There?
“Every time I use the bathroom my mother interrupts me. Literally every single time.
It doesn’t matter what I am doing in there (normal bathroom things) or where in the house she is if I enter the bathroom she will knock on the door and beg and fake cry to go.
She’ll threaten to pee on the floor.
Multiple times I’ve had to stand in the bathtub with my still unclean butt to let her pee quickly. It’s ridiculous. It’s gotten to the point where any time she does it it becomes a screaming match.
Today it culminated with me telling her if she does it one more time she has to start wearing diapers.
The thing is she doesn’t do it to anyone who isn’t me. If she mistakes someone for me in there she’ll even say “Oh sorry I thought you were OP.”
The thing is she is by no means helpless or even particularly physically unhealthy. She’s a nurse. She works long shifts. She can definitely hold her pee. She holds her pee at work. She doesn’t just pee on floors and I assume isn’t harassing others in the bathroom there.
In fact I actually hardly ever see her in the bathroom at our home unless I’m in the bathroom.
If we are in the room and I get up and she thinks I’m going to the bathroom she’ll get up and run in there.
At first I was confident that she was being weird, today when we argued about it I even asked her what kind of messed up power play she thinks she’s pulling. But the way she acted now I can’t tell anymore if I’m just being nuts.
It doesn’t feel normal or appropriate to have to pause my bathroom usage so that she can come in there and pee which is exactly what she wants. Like it feels really bad and is seriously impacting my self-esteem, weird as it sounds like it’s literally destroying my sanity to never be able to take a dump in peace.
She insists it’s not on purpose and I can’t figure out a reason it would be, but it happens so often literally every time that I can’t believe it’s not intentional.
She’s never actually peed on the floor but she threatens it and I mean I’ve definitely had to pee badly before but it’s a literal constant with her.
When we argued about it today she acted literally shocked. She even just came out to say she wasn’t aware of it beforehand though I’ve definitely snapped over it before. I truly don’t understand what’s going on here and I feel like I’m a huge jerk.
I honestly feel like I’m going insane because why am I getting so perturbed?
She would definitely do this on occasion as I was growing up along with a few other odd things related to bathrooms but since the move it’s been constant.
And I can’t take it anymore. But she acts like I’m literally trying to make her pee her pants or something. And at this point it feels like I’m idk being a jerk but it also feels like I’m not?
But I might be because when she does her fake cry or whiney voice it just fills me with rage like just let me take a dump.”
11. AITJ For Getting Upset After I Was Asked To Cover The Bill?
“I (M27) lost my mom at 15 in a road accident. I was a fairly air-headed kid in school and was great academically.
My dad (M48) remarried to “Isobel” 10 months later, ostensibly for my care.
The 2 years after my mom’s passing were extremely hard on me. Isobel was “temperamental” with me – sometimes nice or almost ignoring me. She had a son 2 years older.
We practically had no relationship as he moved for college around the time they got married. My dad paid for his college which helped my morale for test prep (screw student loans).
When I was 17, I was going through old pictures, I ran into some “domestic pictures” of Isobel and my dad.
I realized many of them were from Seattle. Only time my dad was there was when he had been “working on site” for weeks the year before mom died. There had been a fight about the onsites not bringing the family extra income.
I realized that my dad was probably being unfaithful to my mom with Isobel prior to her death. I don’t know if my mom knew this, though I think so. I kept it quiet because Isobel was pregnant with my stepsister at this time.
I found out later that year that my mom had left me as her sole inheritor which was quite some money, her parent’s inheritance money, and 50% of the house. This has helped me pay for college. My dad challenged this will, causing some delay in executing it.
Some words were said about my mom which I didn’t like. My dad had also taken 6k from my acct. I let it go because I honestly was happy to have money for college.
After moving out of state to college, I’ve been LC with dad.
I had a court wedding and have a 7-month-old now. 2 weeks ago, I was in town. My dad decided to meet me and my family which I agreed to. It was at a nicer restaurant in town and along came Isobel, my stepsis and Isobel’s son, his partner, and 2 kids.
The dinner was good till Isobel brought the house up and mentioned my stepbrother’s wife losing her job. I deflected this to a private chat with my dad (no way am I giving it up). This made the conversation much more difficult.
When the check came, my dad asked me to take care of the bill and I refused, asking them to split it. I had no idea everyone was coming and had no contact with any of them.
My dad started to bring up how I had a nest egg and my mom babied me.
Suddenly, my stepbrother said, “Dude, just get it. You’ll be fine.” I kinda saw red at this and told him to shut up and that my mom gave me the money because dad was unfaithful. Isobel got in the middle asking me not to talk to my dad like that and my wife tried to calm me down.
I said I don’t want anything to do with his family and to keep our relationship just between me and my dad. Anyway, more words were shared and I handed them cash from my side and left.
My wife said I should not have acted like that, but got my side.
So, AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Telling My Sister She Was Naive To Think That Finding Her Bio Dad Would End Well?
“I (25m) have an older sister “Julie” (27f) who was the product of my mom’s affair.
My dad didn’t find out until after I was born and almost left my mom for it. I’m not too sure about the details but ultimately there was an agreement to never acknowledge the affair ever again. My sister looked enough like my dad so that no one would be the wiser but obviously in this day and age you obviously can’t keep this kind of secret anymore.
Unbeknownst to my parents my sister and our cousin did the Ancestry thing and that’s how the secret came out. My sister was shocked at first and unsurprisingly wanted to meet her bio dad. Obviously, my parents weren’t happy about it and they fought over it for a while until my maternal aunt gave Julie that guy’s contact info.
She reached out, at first for medical information, but developed a relationship with the guy.
It all came to light when my sister revealed her secret relationship with him and declared that he would be at her wedding a month prior to the event.
I don’t know what Julie was expecting but my dad wasn’t happy, didn’t attend the wedding, and filed for divorce the day after the ceremony. The last time my dad spoke to Julie it was through a letter stating how she has every right to know her father just as much as he has the right not to want to see the man his wife was unfaithful with and so won’t.
Not for anyone or for any reason.
After that there were no more phone calls, visits, presents, or holiday family time. My dad just pretended as if Julie didn’t exist and our mom still blames her for ruining all her hard work in trying to fix her marriage.
I’m not saying that any of this is fair to Julie and always defend her when our mom catches an attitude, but I don’t feel like my dad is the bad guy in this scenario.
Julie recently gave birth and is devastated at the idea of her kid(s) never meeting the man who raised her.
She started reaching out to me to get my dad to have a relationship with her again, but I told her that if she wasn’t willing to cut her (bio) dad out of her life then she just needs to accept that this is the way things will be.
Julie started ranting again about how unfair this all was and I acknowledged that but also told her that it was a pretty stupid idea to think that she could bring her bio dad around and expect everything to end happily.
I wasn’t trying to be mean about it but just acknowledging the truth and now she’s mad at me. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Telling My Husband That Our Daughter Prefers My Support?
“My (39F) husband (39M) and I have a 16-year-old daughter together. She’s a smart and strong young woman and we’re so proud of her.
She’s been having the usual teenage dramas though, friend groups, gossip, and whatnot. Most of the time, she has always looked to me to comfort her when things go wrong. My husband feels bad about it.
But I explain to him all the time that his way of being headstrong, fix-problems-at-once type for our daughter may help him feel like her superhero, but most times when we girls are feeling upset about something, we usually want an ear to bend, not necessarily for our problems to be fixed as we know we can handle it ourselves.
My husband doesn’t get this and said when he was her age, if he came to his parents upset, he’d want them to help him fix it. I explain that’s not true for everyone, and definitely not true for girls like our daughter.
But when our daughter comes to me venting about something, he always has to butt in and propose a suggestion that he can do for her, or for her to do herself as if she isn’t aware that it’s a solution to her problems which we (me and our daughter) have repeatedly said is unhelpful.
Now, our daughter came home from school one day looking angry, and she burst into tears. When I return to the living room, I hear a door slam and my husband sitting looking dumbfounded. I ask him what happened and he said that our daughter was crying about something and it worried him, so he asked her what the matter was and if he could sort it out for her.
And she responded by blowing him off and running to her room, slamming the door hard. He looked like he was wounded by what our daughter did.
I said our daughter is a typical teenager, and that she knows what she’s doing and to trust her to sort it out herself.
By him saying he could “fix it”, he invalidates her own self-confidence in her abilities and that’s definitely not what she needs from her father. I then could have held back on saying this, but I then said that’s why our daughter prefers me as her supporter and needs me more.
My husband recoiled at this, looked down for a minute, and agreed sadly. But come dinner, the atmosphere was really awkward/muted between my daughter, myself, and her dad/my husband, and I could tell he was upset.
This week rolls around and my husband hasn’t been his usual happy self with us.
He’s not ignoring us per se, but his responses have been quick and he’s not really being emotionally involved with us, keeps bringing up work and deadlines to meet. He’s also been a bit cold to me. I may just be crazy but it feels that way.
I told his sister, my SIL, about his brother’s behavior and what I think originated it (door slamming incident and my response to it to my husband). She was like, I get why he’s frosty. You made him feel useless.
Hard to feel much positivity towards your family when you just want to help them, she elaborated. I felt bad hurting my husband with those words then, hearing that from my SIL. But AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Uninviting My Brother From My Wedding After He Lied To My Fiance That I Was Pregnant?
“I F34 have been with my fiance Jack M36 for over 7 years.
We’ve had infertility issues for years and the topic of children has always been sore for us after trying for years without succeeding. Jack has always wanted kids and we decided to adopt as our last option but after we get married.
Everything was going smoothly and invitations have been sent out. My brother Sam (22) likes to joke a lot. They call him “Sammy the jokester” and everyone thinks he’s funny. I don’t find him funny because his jokes tend to be cruel and he and I don’t have the best relationship due to that.
He already joked about my infertility issues in the past but my family would excuse his behavior saying he’s just a kid with no experience.
Days ago, I was visiting my parents’ house while Jack was out working. I left my purse on the coffee table and went inside the kitchen to help my mom.
Sam was in the living room watching TV. We had dinner and talked a bit then I opened my purse to check my phone. I found it was turned off so I started it and then found about 15 missed calls from Jack.
I freaked out thinking he got into an accident or something. I called his number immediately and put him on speaker. He asked me about the text I sent him an hour earlier. I asked what text and he said a text telling him I was pregnant.
Sam suddenly started laughing. He asked if it was true and why I didn’t tell him in the morning. I was shocked. I said I didn’t send anything. He told me to check my messages and I did.
I saw that at 7:30 pm someone sent Jack a message saying I was pregnant.
I was confused as heck. Sam kept laughing and admitted to sending it right away. I lost it on him and he said it was just a joke to mess with Jack that’s all. I asked how he could think this was a joke knowing how hard it was for Jack even if he believed it for one second.
He argued that he didn’t think Jack would take it seriously but it was sent from my phone so it was supposedly sent by me. I said his behavior has gotten out of control and after this stunt I no longer want him at the wedding and he was uninvited because I only want supportive people at the wedding and he was being far from that.
My parents said I should calm down before reacting like this over a joke and that Sam was just telling a nasty little joke no big deal but I refused to keep arguing and grabbed my stuff to go deal with the trauma Sam caused Jack with his joke.
Jack was so upset but unusually quiet. He cried in the middle of the night after I apologized to him for what happened. My parents kept calling asking me to calm down and re-invite Sam but I refused. They offered that they apologize to Jack but Sam refused to apologize insisting it was a teasing joke nothing more.”
7. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Fast?
“I am (20F) living with my parents and (25F) (14F) sisters.
Growing up, we’ve always been a closely tied family, eaten out together, everyone’s been together, eating, talking, and enjoying ourselves.
My 14F sister liked cooking a lot, and in her early teens (11-13 years old) she got very interested in cooking.
She would cook for us, both desserts and proper meals. Her cooking has always been good, however, she put on some weight. She got a little chubby but I do not think that she was overweight.
My family and I noticed this, because me and my 25F sister have always been slim I was worried that my 14F sister was on her path to an unhealthy lifestyle.
My parents started encouraging her to start doing sports, my dad mentioning that she might want to lose a few kilos and that he would pay for a Gym Membership (Obviously because he wanted her to be healthy) but she refused and would only play her guitar at home instead.
So she wouldn’t do many activities except for P.E. at school which would be 2 lessons (120 Mins) per week.
My family contacted the school nurse and asked her about my sister’s weight, the nurse responded by saying that our (14F) sister had a Healthy BMI count.
After that my parents let that situation be and we went years without talking about her weight.
But whenever we were fighting our family would call our (14F) sister rude things “Cow, bull, Whale” but it was just a family thing.
Yes, I agree that it was rude, but she would mock us too and we would only say those things when we were obviously mad at each other so that no one would take any offense.
Before it all went downhill, I suggested for my sister to fast because she needed it.
She started crying and my mom told me to apologize, so I did.
Since January this year, my 14F sister started becoming extremely active, walking to school and back (40 mins each) and she would be out all day so that we couldn’t eat together.
So our family would eat without her.
No matter how much we encouraged her, she wouldn’t eat. And my family noticed a weight loss that was applauded because she was looking much slimmer and healthier.
But it got worse, she started refusing to eat anything at all, even her favorite foods.
Nothing would ever get her to eat and she would be outside all day so we barely saw her.
8 months went, she looks skeletal, my parents keep telling her that she looks like a skeleton, an old woman, and that she needs to put on some weight.
She is denying her weight loss and we cannot do anything about it. We contacted the school nurse once again and (14F) sister refused to be weighed.
We are extremely worried about her, and I’m scared that my words affected her.
I might be the jerk because my little sister has stopped eating and I am worried that me previously mocking her might have affected her negatively.”
6. AITJ For Calling My SIL Selfish After She Told Me My Sons Prefer Her?
“I (31F) have two sons (15M). Because of my age, my parents took care of my boys until I was 18.
I was involved and they knew I was their mother but my mom wanted me to be a normal teen.
I have a little brother (27M). He and I are extremely close. He married his wife (Alice-28F) when he was 22 and I tolerate her.
My sons really like Alice. She works with kids and loves them so I wasn’t surprised. The first time they met, my sons were 6 and they were always talking about her.
As my sons grew, I worked often and couldn’t always be with them.
My parents babysat them and once my brother got older he did too. Now, my brother and his wife babysit them while I work.
Thing is, my brother has triplets (4M) and taking care of 3 toddlers and 2 teenagers is not easy.
He called me a few times saying that he’s really stressed out due to his job.
Yesterday, I went to their house to pick up my sons. I had planned on telling my SIL that my boys are old enough to stay home alone after school and she doesn’t need to have them over all the time because I understand how stressful it is.
Instead I was met with my sons begging me to let them stay the night at their house and my SIL asking me to consider it.
I was upset because it’s been days since I got a night off and I wanted to be with my sons.
I asked my SIL to talk in private and told her that I’m their mother and I deserve to spend time with them too. Basically, I asked her to reschedule.
She said that I could join them but I wanted to spend time with just my boys.
I said this and she said that was pretty selfish of me because the boys don’t want to.
This part hurts but Alice said that my boys wished she was their mother and that I should do better instead of complaining to her about everything.
I complained to her a few times before about how they prefer her but she always reassured me that wasn’t true.
In retaliation, I called her selfish for forcing my brother to take care of so many kids despite the amount of stress she knows he’s in.
She rolled her eyes and walked away.
I was about to cry so I left. One of my sons called me a couple of times but I went to sleep.
I woke up to a text from my brother saying he adored my sons and that he never felt pressured to take care of them.
Yes, his job has been a pain but my sons and his wife don’t add to the stress at all. He also said that my house is in an unsafe neighborhood while they live in a much better community so having the boys stay home alone is “irresponsible” and “dangerous”.
That just made me more upset so I told him to screw off and he told me that I could say whatever to him but not to speak to his wife like earlier.
Now, I believe I’m in the right to say what I did because my SIL is acting as if I’m the worst mother despite knowing how hard I’m working.
She also made things unnecessarily personal?? But my brother is making it seem like I’m the jerk. So AITJ for calling her selfish?”
5. AITJ For Not Letting My Nephew Live With Me Because Of How He Treats My Son?
“My nephew “Tyler” is 18, he came out this week and his dad didn’t take it well.
My sister asked me if I would let him stay with me until her husband calmed down and let him move back in. I’m not close with my nephew due to past behavior and the fact that he’s been a bully to my son (15m) since they were kids.
That was something we tried working out but Tyler never seemed to learn. Since my sister didn’t do much because of her “boys will be boys” mentality I limited interaction with them. Then last year Tyler antagonized my son on social media.
Before that happened my son went through something traumatic that I won’t get into details here but it left him with a lot of anxiety about going out.
He made a celebratory post about going to the grocery store for the first time in months by himself without getting a panic attack.
Tyler decided to call him a “coward”, asked “why is he getting excited about something so stupid and not even a big deal.” I confronted Tyler directly because he knew what my son had experienced. He wasn’t apologetic because according to him he was just jokingly giving him a hard time and didn’t mean it in a bad way.
This time I told my sister Tyler is to stay away from my son completely. This new situation doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want Tyler near him. Even with the promises that he won’t do anything I can’t trust him.
He’s done it before when I’m not around until it pushes my son to finally tell me. That’s why I’m apparently being a jerk to him given this difficult and emotional moment he’s going through.
My wife and I said we could pitch in for him to stay somewhere (our other family lives far and he’s still in school) but not in our house. The reason she refuses this is because Tyler needs to be with family at the moment and things are complicated at their house right now.
She’s trying to calm things down. But says it could be a long while since her husband doesn’t want him back at all. If things had been different I’d accept him into our home in a heartbeat.
But not if it means putting my son in a position to be bullied. My mom understands how awful Tyler has been to my son, the way he’s tormented him and that we’ve tried to make things work, in this situation she does think I’m not being a good uncle (and a jerk) because of what Tyler is currently going through.
That it’s more serious. They’re both on us about this but we have had to say no. Are we being jerks?”
4. AITJ For Making Sure My Ex's Family Knows I'm Helping My Son And Her Out Financially?
“So I was away for college when my ex found out she was pregnant. We had tried the long distance for over a year and a half since my uni was out of state but we decided to split. I’ll admit I wasn’t there for my son as much as I wish I had been while I was in school.
Was only able to drive to her place to be there weekends and anytime I was off school. At the time I had a college fund that was about 100k from my grandparents but since I had a full-ride scholarship it was spent on my son instead.
On top of money I’d send her from my part-time job. It was enough for his needs and a nanny to be there during the week when she was at work. Not weekends since that’s when I’d be there.
Was I a perfect dad?
No. I know I wasn’t there for him the way I wished I could until I graduated when he was 2. But I know that I at least financially provided for them. Anyways her family (parents, sister, and brothers) came up for the first time in years to celebrate my son’s 8th b-day.
All of us together. Haven’t always had the best relationship with them since the breakup. And I guessed it was because of not being around my son since I didn’t want to drop out from college. That I understood but it turns out my ex had told them I never paid a cent to her the entire time.
Nor that I would stay with them whenever I was off from school. So they were mad because they thought I didn’t help AT ALL.
That really infuriated me and I confronted my ex about it. In front of her family I demanded to know why she’d lie about all that especially when I’m even helping her out right now with school.
My ex had some problems with financial aid so they’re not helping her out anymore. I’m helping her pay for some of the classes she needs. All this was said with her family in front of us because it ticked me off that she’d paint me in a bad light to them.
My ex was pretty mad at the fact that I embarrassed her in front of them. Since she told them she was paying for the classes herself. She apologized for what she told them but she still thinks I had no right to bring up the fact that I’m helping pay for her college courses, and making it seem like she can’t take care of herself even now.
So now I don’t know. I was mad at what she did but I’m not sure if it was going too far embarrassing her like that in front of her family and telling them I’m still helping her. AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Berating My Husband's Sister For The Awful Way She Treated My Son?
“My son has ADHD. He’s hyperactive and has a medical condition.
Days ago, my best friend of 10 years passed away. I asked my husband if he could stay with my 4yo son so I could attend the funeral. My husband said yes but then took him over to his sister and her husband’s house to watch him without telling me.
At the funeral, I received a text from my sister-in-law telling me to come get my son after he wet himself in her house. I was all kinds of shocked and confused and had many questions in mind like how my son ended up at my sister-in-law’s house after I left him with his stepdad.
I called my husband but he didn’t answer or call back.
I went over there quickly and found my son crying. He was also wet. I asked my sister-in-law and her husband what happened and they said my son was making so much noise while playing with the kids so they put him on time out.
After that he told them he needed the bathroom but my sister-in-law’s husband said he couldn’t go to the bathroom while on time out and denied him access after he (my son) begged, resulting in him peeing right where he was standing.
I lost it on her and her husband completely. Her husband for denying my son access to the bathroom and she for letting this happen and not doing anything about it. Her husband explained that he thought that my son, like any other kid, is old enough to hold it in till time out was over which was 90 minutes according to him.
I berated them for treating my son cruelly and denying him a simple request. I asked how could they do this to a child with a condition when they themselves are parents. My sister-in-law got offended I implied she and her husband were neglectful parents.
We argued then I took my son and went home and my husband wasn’t there.
He then came home fuming asking why I berated his sister and her husband after they’ve done him a favor and watched his stepson for him because he had an “emergency”.
I asked him if he was okay with the way they treated my son and he said no but the way I went about it was totally wrong and said I should apologize to them both after insulting them and their parenting skills in their own house when they were doing us a favor.
I said no, they did HIM a favor as I never asked them to watch my son. He said still I had to apologize but I loudly said “in your dreams” after how my son was treated. He was taken aback and described my behavior as juvenile for refusing to take responsibility for my actions.
Things escalated I had to take my son and go stay with a friend. My husband kept texting stuff like how I was avoiding confrontation and refusing to admit I overstepped etc. He said he only expects me to come home AFTER I apologize to his sister and brother-in-law.”
2. AITJ For Making My Partner Pay For All The Tools He Took And Used For His Art?
“I (26F) have been in a relationship with my partner (28M) for a year, he is an ‘artist’ that is to say he feels like Picasso while venting his frustrations from a full-time job at a bank (Accountant) in a canvas while I am a Biomedical Engineer.
As such I have a toolbox in the house that I bought for household repairs and the like while another bigger toolbox sits in my room (we don’t live together) filled with my very expensive and specialized tools I use for work, specifically I work at a hospital installing, maintaining and repairing the big machinery used in diagnostics.
I must remark that these tools cannot be just bought at a hardware store as a lot of them are machine specific or brand-specific and that I must use them to maintain the insurance and guarantee of these machines.
It has never bothered me that he uses common house things to add to his canvas as he has never taken anything that wasn’t already on its way to the bin or donation.
But one day I got back from work and he is in the house, in my back yard flinging paint at a canvas with some weird shapes stuck to it. At first, I didn’t know what he had pasted on there until I saw my toolbox dumped by his feet and a lot of the tools just strewn all around, the tipping point came when I saw my Oscilloscope broken apart and glued to the monstrosity in the yard, that thing alone cost me 750 big ones, let alone the rest of my ruined tools.
I. saw. red. I don’t even remember what I said to him only that he ran away and was actually crying, full-on bawling.
I had no time nor the patience to deal with that, so I took inventory of what he ruined and talked to my boss to see what I could do.
Non-electric or simple tools like special screwdrivers (how he ruined a screwdriver I have no idea), clamps, measuring tools the hospital will replace at no cost but the other ones like the Oscilloscope and a few other electric tools I had to replace myself.
I looked for the exact tools I had before and it came up to $1876 to replace everything. Checked with a family member who is a lawyer, bought all the replacements, and sent the bill to my partner.
Well, his mom called me screaming.
Saying how could I do this to her baby and how he doesn’t have the money to pay for it (I know for a fact he does). I told her that if he doesn’t pay the provider will sue him and so will I, and then just hang up.
Not 10 minutes later he called, he was crying and screaming so I just left the phone next to me and continued to work, when I didn’t hear the ruckus from the phone I picked it up again (being noisy in the action so he realizes I didn’t listen to a word he said) and asked if he was done throwing a tantrum, he hung up.
I felt justified at the moment but I was telling this to a coworker and he said I was too harsh, but I did what I had to do to continue my work, if he wanted to paint tools there was another toolbox with cheaper stuff in the kitchen, he knows MY toolbox is more expensive so WHY?!
I don’t understand.
So AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Calling The Cops After The Mother Of The Kids I Was Babysitting For Never Came Home?
“I (28F) do babysitting on the weekends to make extra income. There is one family I definitely should’ve phased out by now but the kids are cute and if I don’t have another job, it’s an easy one.
My issue is, the mom is never home on time. She used to not give me return times but finally I started asking as it made it impossible to get anything done on the weekends. I’d go babysit so she could go to “brunch” but she’d be gone from 11 AM to 7 PM.
My whole day was gone. After that, she’d start giving me times but never stick to them. She wouldn’t even call to tell me, she’d just stay out.
On Saturday, I got to her house at 6 and she was supposed to be home by 9.
I told her she needed to be on time because I had plans to go out with friends. I was even getting ready at their house after I put the kids to bed. She promised. Of course, 9:00 rolls around and she’s not home.
I call her, no response. Text, no response. Another hour. Nothing. Still calling and texting. Finally, it is midnight. By this point, my plans are long ruined but I’m upset and exhausted. I call her and leave a voicemail saying if she’s not home in the next hour, I’m considering the kids abandoned and calling the cops.
I also text her this. I try calling her 30 minutes later and it goes to voicemail on the second ring, I text her again and she leaves me on read. If she had reached out saying “Hey, I’m staying out until x time”, I would’ve stayed. I don’t know any of her family nor the father of the kids so I can’t call them.
I gave her a grace period of 15 minutes and tried calling again, finally called the cops (non-emergency line). They showed up and I showed our agreement in text from earlier in the week confirming that she’d be home by 9. They try contacting her, didn’t answer.
I was dismissed and they took the children to the police station. I go home and go to bed.
I am awoken at 3 AM by a frantic call. It’s her. Where are the kids? Why am I not here? I tell her I followed through on my threat, check the police station.
She reacted angrily, I hung up and went to bed.
The next day, she sends me an essay saying the kids’ father was called and there’s a DCF investigation launched against her. She called me every name under the sun but I didn’t think I was wrong until I spoke to a friend with kids.
She said I should’ve just waited it out and refuse to ever sit for her again. She asked if her potentially losing her kids was worth me being upset.”
