People Boast About The Best Revenge They've Ever Gotten
50. Pick On Me? I'll Pull A Small Revenge Move That'll Make You Feel Big Guilt
“When I was in middle school and high school, there was this guy in my friendship group who always teased me about being overweight – like, maliciously.
It didn’t stop there, as we grew up he started having gatherings purposefully not to invite me. He also tried to steal my stuff when I’d have him around with my friends. Not to mention, he threatened to beat me up when we were alone together.
The guy was a jerk, but at the time I felt I had to stay civil and be ‘friends’ with him because I was afraid of losing friends I actually cared about.
Anyway, skip forward to when we are 16. By then we’d all realized how much of a jerk this guy was and decided not to hang with him anymore.
I’d also lost a lot of weight so he couldn’t taunt me about that anymore. He also developed epilepsy. We weren’t sure if it was genuine or not because at the time there were a lot of people faking illnesses by ‘fainting’ and having ‘fits’ so we thought he was jumping on board this trend.
One day after school he pops up on messenger to me typing things like ‘hlfp meegy.’ Initially I thought he was just fishing for attention, but after about five minutes I figured something serious was happening. So I ran to his house (it was about a 10 minute walk from mine), looked through the window and saw he was home alone and on the floor sort of twitching.
I eventually got in through his back door which was unlocked. I put a pillow down to rest my head and moved what furniture I could out the way so he wouldn’t hurt himself. I called emergency services and then his parents who were out shopping at the time who rushed home.
Once he came to, his parents explained what had happened and he looked at me. That look he gave me – it was like he knew what he did to me through school and to see what I did for him brought him right to his senses.
That was pure guilt.
I left without speaking to him but that look was good enough for me, that he truly felt bad for what he did. It’s not your conventional revenge story, but the fact I made him feel so bad and regret those years effectively bullying me made it all worth it.”
49. Living Well And Seeing Your Bully's Ego Shrink Is The Best Revenge
“There was a girl in middle school who was a holy terror. She tortured a friend of mine who had Tourettes and a bad stutter.
She would threaten us and write untrue things about us in the bathroom stalls. She would make fun of our clothes, our hair, everything. We would meekly take the abuse because she was really scary, and had a little posse of girls who hung on her every word – but were probably just as scared as her as we were.
Fast-forward ten years. My awkward friend is engaged and a teacher in a ritzy private school. I just got a great job in an office, I moved out, and I bought my own car. I went to the local gas station, walked in, and who should be working there but the holy terror!
She actually tried making small talk with me. She was still living at home and I could barely hold back my glee as I told her how well my friend was doing, how hot her fiance is – he really is – and how I just bought a new car and moved into my own place.
I could almost see her ego shrink. Living well really is the best revenge.”
48. The Neighborhood Bully Got What He Deserved When I Stood Up For Myself
“When I was growing up, my family got close to another family that lived in our area, which was made up of only about 20 houses. I have 2 older sisters and a brother, and the other family had 2 older guys and 2 older girls.
Anyway, one of the guys from this family, who was 18, used to bully me, 14, when no one else was around.
I never said anything to my family because I knew how everyone in our families had become good friends and there weren’t many other people to talk to. Fast forward a year and this guy and I are on our way home from school. We walk past a mound of sand, he trips me, throws a handful of sand into my pants, then runs off.
I cry as I walk home alone because I’m so sick of him bullying me for no reason.
When I get in the door our whole families are gathered together chatting and I see him laughing at me when I walk in. My mom can tell I had been crying and asked what was wrong.
I finally say he had been bullying me and his parents start to deny it as he does too. I turn around to show the sand in my pants (not pull them around my ankles but just show the sand). He starts denying it was him, which makes me lose my temper and I dive at him.
I manage to tackle him to the ground and just start wailing punches into his face before anyone even realizes what’s happening.
By the time my dad and his dad dragged me off him I had broken his nose and busted his lip and his eye was all messed up too.
His family moved shortly after that cause his dad had changed jobs and I never saw the jerk again. My dad said he was proud I stood up for myself.”
47. Totally Wrong Move, Boss – Better Watch Your Back
“I got hired at a law firm to do their IT and to do training. It was a 50/50 split of IT and training. Soon. it became all training. The IT was handled by a few people. After a while, someone else wanted to do training so they asked me if I could take someone on to teach them.
So, I did.
It turns out that person really just wanted an easier job. They soon learned that training wasn’t easy. They wanted to go back to not training, but I had planned so many different training lessons with this person that I couldn’t have that person just leave without finding a replacement.
Anyway, the firm was starting to feel the effects of some financial shifts and was starting to let people go. When this little problem showed up, the company took it upon themselves to decide to cut training altogether.
I no longer had an IT spot and I was no longer needed for training so they brought me in and fired me because of some trumped-up charge (they said I had logged in from home and clocked out.
Which I had done, but I always did because I worked on training packets from home and had permission to do so from the IT Director).
Anyway, I got a job at a different place and started to work and forgot about the firm. One day, I am working for the new place and they are about to buy a huge piece of land.
They need to build a new office downtown. It is going to be a huge multi-million dollar building and purchase. It is going to be our home office for over 10,000 members. The lawyers from the law firm that I left were going to be the lawyers to handle the sale, looking to make the firm a nice hefty fee on the sale and purchase.
I convinced our president that the law firm was not secure. I hacked into their server using some inside information I had from when I worked there and showed my President how easy it was to access personal information. He dropped them that morning and went to another firm.
What is even better is he talked to other places and convinced them not to use them. I don’t feel great about that because it ended up costing a few people in IT their jobs once word of why people weren’t using them got out.
But one of the people to be fired was the director who lied and said he never gave me permission to work from home.”
46. Never Mess With The Son Of A Chemist Because I'll Concoct An Explosive Revenge
“It’s been 22 years, so I’m sure the statute of limitations is well past, but throwaway just because of massive property damage.
When I was 15, the neighbor’s 19-year-old son chased me down the road with his pride and joy, a 1980-something Trans Am. I don’t mean at a slow, joking pace, either.
I was hauling myself on my bike trying to not get run over, and he was leaning out the window laughing like an idiot the whole way. This happened nearly every morning I left for school, for the last month and a half of school that year.
No one believed that anyone in the neighborhood, even that loser, could be so psychotic. Well, it pays to never mess with the son of a chemist. My dad had all kinds of chemistry supply catalogs hanging around the house, and willingly supplied me with odds and ends to do cool home experiments – he always drew the line at anything dangerously reactive, though, so no sodium, phosphorus, or any extreme-pH acids.
However, the components to make thermite are, by themselves, quite inert and safe. I got dear old dad to order the stuff I needed by splitting it into 3 separate orders for different ‘experiments’ over a couple week’s time. I made sure to do a couple experiments with all the materials, and the leftovers were casually and quietly put aside for other, more nefarious purposes.
I then made it a point to learn my neighbor’s routine. He had started working at a late-night fast food joint, and then seemed to go partying with friends. He frequently wasn’t home until 3am, and would commonly sleep until well past noon. Well, being the ingenious kid that I was, I waited for school to start back up, and then I snuck over very very early in the morning when I was sure he’d be passed out.
I stuck a 2″ diameter pipe to the hood of his car with some JB Weld, filled it with my homemade thermite, fused it, and took off for school. When I got home from school, there was a massive melted scorch mark in his parent’s driveway that looked like the impact crater of a small moon, and that ugly Trans Am was nowhere to be found.
I later found out that my concoction went off earlier than I had hoped for – I had tried to time it for around 10 A.M., when I would be solidly in the middle of classes with tons of witnesses that I was at school. It actually went off around 8:30 A.M., and instead of slagging over the entire engine like I had hoped, my use of the narrow pipe had caused the thermite to basically punch a hole right through the hood, head, block, and ignite the oil pan on its way to smoking a crater in the driveway.
I was never formally questioned about it, but a few months later my father asked me in passing what happened to one of the components I had used in the thermite. I just shrugged and said I had tossed it, since it had no real use for anything else and it had gotten damp, causing it to clump up and become worthless.
The only thing he said was ‘I see…’ and walked away with a little smile on his face. I’ll never tell him, but I’m sure he knows. The sucker-next-door lost his car completely. Not only did I punch a hole right through it, but the sheer heat set off secondary fires on everything it touched, causing the car to go up like a gas-soaked rag.
He never really recovered from it, and I made it a point to ask him what happened to his ‘beautiful baby’ every time I saw him. Yeah, I’m a vicious person.”
45. Big Shot Thinks She Knows Best So I Pull The Ultimate Networking Revenge
“In college, I worked for a laboratory that farmed student researchers out to local businesses to help with R&D.
We were supposed to direct the research and produce publishable results. I was farmed out to this biofuels plant. The man in charge of me was one of those people who oozes incompetence. I was supposed to spearhead a new research project where we used an alternative method to process lower quality oil into biodiesel.
I won’t get into the specifics.
In addition to me, the guy I worked for also hired a ‘biodiesel guru’ at the last minute – this celebrity in the biodiesel world, we’ll call her ‘Girl Mark’. Some background, this lady’s claim to fame is inventing the ‘Appleseed’ home biodiesel production method – innovative and useful, but not really relevant to what we were doing.
I was immediately put to work sweeping floors and washing dishes, and she was put in charge of the actual research.
This continued even after the lab complained that they were paying me to create publishable results, not clean up the lab. It also quickly became apparent to me that Girl Mark was not doing anything.
She had no idea what she was doing, did not understand the method we were working on, and got extremely rude and defensive when I asked her questions. Then lab equipment started going missing. I tried to bring this to the attention of our boss, and he fired me… in an email.
He wrote a diatribe about how Girl Mark is an icon in the biofuels world, in disbelief that I could dare accuse her of this kind of thing. He praised her hard work and pointed out that I wasn’t doing anything. No big deal. My boss at the lab put me on a different project and cut off his relationship with the biofuels plant.
I also wrote the director of the biofuels plant an email about what happened.
Two months later, I got a call. It’s the director. He asked me to come back to work for the plant, paid by them this time. Girl Mark had disappeared with thousands of dollars worth of equipment, there was a warrant out for her, and the guy in charge of the project had “resigned” and they needed someone to take it over.
No thanks. Old boss went to work repairing home furnaces. Years later, my landlord brought him over to give a quote on a pretty big job. I approached him later and said, ‘I used to work with that guy.’ He asked what he was like and I said, ‘He’s full of crap.’ Job went to someone else.”
44. Start A Fight With Me? I'll End It
“I’m not much for revenge these days, as there are better things to worry about in life.
However, back when I was in grade six, I did fight back in a spectacular fashion against a bully.
Leslie was a kid who just liked to pick on others.
I was the good Christian boy who always turned the other cheek. I was at his mercy for a good few months and one day just before religion class, he turned around and stabbed me in the hand with his pencil, breaking off the tip inside my skin.
After months of taking this abuse, I lost it. I stood up, flipping my chair, then punched him quickly in the head twice and broke his nose in the process. I stepped back quickly and did a roundhouse kick right to his head. He was knocked out cold.
Was I done? Of course not! I started whaling on his face as he was unconscious, tears streaming from my eyes as I was so angry.
At this point, Sister Josephine walks in and sees her best, most religious student smashing in the face of one of her more troublesome students, while other students are trying to drag the good student away from the fight.
She runs in, telling me to stand aside, which I do because I respect Sister Josephine (she’s the kindest, most gentle soul you’ll meet). I’m kind of better at this point, not crying as much. Sister Josephine tries to revive Leslie, but he’s not getting up.
I am ordered to stand outside. I had this mischievous grin on my face as I could not believe I stood up to this useless bully. They take Leslie to the nurses office and eventually a hospital – I ended up giving him a concussion.
In the end, I’m slapped around a few times by Sister Teresa, who is a holy terror in disciplinary situations, for grinning like an idiot while she yells at me.
I’m held in the principal’s office until my dad comes to pick me up. They threaten to expel me and my dad argues it down to two weeks suspension. On the way back my home dad looks at me sternly, and I know he’s about to ask me some important questions.
I’m kind of scared as my dad has come down on me like a hammer for misbehaving before.
However he only asks two questions. ‘Did you start the fight?’ I reply, ‘No, Pops.’ Then, ‘Did you end the fight?’ I reply, ‘Yes, pops.’ I’m smiling as he says, ‘Atta boy.
Let’s get you some ice cream.’ I ended up having the best two weeks off school ever.”
43. Think My Skis Are Crappy? Thanks For The Free Upgrade
“I was skiing a while back at a local mountain. I didn’t have nice skis, but they got the job done.
At the end of the day, I set my skis in the last slot on the very full rack and turn to go inside. I hear a crash and I turn around. Some jerk had knocked my skis out of the rack and was placing his own very nice expensive skis in the rack.
I turn and confront him with the words, ‘Hey, those are my skis that you just knocked over. What’s the deal?’ ‘Sorry man, I just got these skis. They need to be set in the rack and I can’t have them getting ruined, ya know?
Plus your skis are really crappy. I’m sure you won’t mind putting them on the ground.’ Stunned, All I could do was agree with him. ‘Yeah, you’re right man. My skis are pretty crappy, aren’t they? I’ll just store my skis over here on the floor.’ ‘Thanks bro, ‘preciate it.’ I was fuming.
I saw the guy head for the lodge. My next move is something I’m not proud of, but it still makes perfect sense to me. Me and this gentleman had just agreed that it was time to upgrade my skis, so I did just that.
I gathered my things, minus my crappy skis, and I scooped his skis off the rack, and hopped on the bus back to school. He was right, they really are nice skis.”
42. Choose Infidelity? Lose Your Job And Roommates And Go Back To Your Parents Place
“In my early 20’s, living in NYC, my ex blew off date night to go out with co-workers and get wasted. Which was fine, except I had left some work-related stuff I needed for the next day on his desk, so I let myself into his place and was in his office when he came home bamboozled with a woman who was definitely not me, and was equally blotted. Unquestionable infidelity ensued.
I was too shocked to react and let myself out after they had passed out. I knew I needed to end it, but felt too ashamed to admit I knew he had two-timed. So I showed up at his door early the next morning with no warning and proceeded to end it for infuriatingly vague ‘this isn’t working for me’ reasons.
He proceeded to go a bit nutty. There was a lot of begging and crying over the next 2 months on his part. He suspected I knew, and proceeded to accuse all of his co-workers and friends who had been out that night of telling me, which revealed to them that he was quite the scumbag.
His accusations and volatile behavior in the workplace apparently escalated and made people uncomfortable, and him a liability, so he was let go. I was told all of this by a former friend and roommate of my ex. They thought his behavior was despicable and slowly began to cut ties.
They also signed a new lease without him. With no job, and no roommates, he had to move back to his hometown and stay with his parents.”
41. So You Wanna Give Me A Hard Time? I'll Record You
“The best revenge I have ever gotten was last year.
I had been harassed most of my freshman and sophomore year for being 1/8 Japanese by a kid with less than four brain cells and a bunch of dimwit jock friends. The ridicule would last for hours on end during Health/PE.
The only reason these clowns were still in the school was because of the lack of evidence of bullying, and harassment. That’s when I discovered pen-cameras. Tiny cameras in non-functional pens. These things could record at two clicks of a button, but the video quality was crap so I used them for audio.
Towards the end of Sophomore year, the attacks were longer, lasting through lunch and Health. Each time I would record. After about seven or eight more incidents, I compiled all the recordings into one and went into the main office. Being in the Leadership class, I had open access to the PA system for reading of the schedule and daily bulletin.
Two weeks before finals I spring my trap. I ask Mr. Vincetti to grab me a cup of water from the teacher’s lounge and barricade the door when he’s gone.
Then I hit the play button. I started off with the normal rabble, then asked if everyone was paying attention.
Then I said my bully’s name about four or five times and asked if he was sorry. Even if he was, I didn’t care. Mr. Vincetti was now banging on the door and asking if I was okay, but I didn’t want to end it yet.
Each audio file was about 5 minutes long and after three or four I asked the people who were witnesses why they did nothing. Asked the teachers why they didn’t help me.
Asked my fellow students how they didn’t notice. Then the final tape played: a stream of insults spliced together.
When I was done I just kinda walked down the hall into the headmaster’s office and expected him to suspend or expel me. Instead, I got a nice surprise. My assailant was in his office explaining football strategies and when I walked into the room, he was sitting there speechless.
His face paled and he stared at me for a second. He then attempted to tackle me but I punched him straight in his ugly face and he started to cry and hold his nose, as I had broken it in three places. The principal didn’t even mention it and he was expelled that same day.”
40. Call Me Fat In Middle School? OK, Coach, When I See You Next, I'll Know What To Say
“When I was in grade school, I was chubby. I wouldn’t even say fat. My small private school needed 5 players to have a basketball team and fell short at 4 since no other boys in my grade wanted to play (partially because the coaches were jerks, and also because they didn’t like sports).
I hated basketball quite a bit but I knew how much the 4 who signed up loved it and looked forward to the season. Anyway, one of the coaches decided to start calling me fat. It started when I couldn’t keep up with my other teammates since I was fatigued from recovering from the flu during some running drills.
I was required to attend practice since I had attended school that day and we’d be benched for a game if we skipped practice. Then he started calling me fat and other names on a more frequent basis and I became the source of all blame for our poor record.
Oh, we aren’t making free-throws? That was my fault. Oh, we lost by 20 points? My fault.
He continued to belittle my weight and thus the other players and people – who I thought were my friends – thought it was okay to do so as well (even during games, in front of the girls in our grade).
It shattered my self esteem and left me with permanent damage. I am now a male with an eating disorder and have body dysmorphic disorder that makes it hard to see myself in the mirror as I really am. I always look overweight in the mirror, even at one point when I weighed 130lbs at 5’10”.
I still have very severe anxiety which I am working on overcoming but mainly rely on medicine. Anyway, I saw that same coach last year at a fancy restaurant. I am all grown up now in my mid-20s. I was out to dinner with a gorgeous blonde, so I decided to completely embarrass him as he had done to me for three years.
Since I was now in perfect shape, looked great, and had a hottie by my side, I knew it was my turn to strike back. I sat with my girl at the bar and waved to him. He waved back and looked confused until I approached his table where he was sitting with another man (who had a bunch of papers out on the table).
I started it by disarming him of any alarm in his brain that might be saying, ‘Oh no, it’s the kid I belittled to death for 3 years!’ I walked over and said, “Are you Coach K?” in an excited tone of voice. He responded, ‘Yes I am.’ Then I said, ‘Oh yeah, you used to be my basketball coach at XYZ Grade School!
Remember me?’
He must have thought I had forgotten all about how mean he was, and he said with fake excitement, ‘Oh yeah, how are you?’ I responded, ‘I am doing really, really well after years of not doing so well. You probably know me better as ‘fattie’ or ‘fatboy’, since that is what you called me for three years.’ He began to say, ‘What?
What are you talking about?’ I continued, ‘Yeah, because of you I developed very bad social anxiety which troubled me for years and on top of that I was depressed from when you started coaching me until a few years ago. Unlike you, I lost weight.
I saw your family at church the other day and something occurred to me. You’re fat, your wife is fat and ugly, as are your children. That must really, really suck. I am now very successful and own my own company, drive my dream car, and date women I never thought would talk to me.
Now, since you used inappropriate words for years that weren’t allowed in my adolescent vocabulary, I am going to use an adult word or two: SCREW YOU!’ I promptly left with my girl. He looked absolutely dazed and dumbfounded. The look on his face was that of ‘Did that just happen?’
It gets even better.
He was at that restaurant for an interview to take on a coaching position at a private high school (upgrading from middle school to high school). The athletic director heard what I said and didn’t hire him. I found this out when his wife called my parents and said that I had threatened to commit horrific crimes, that he takes that very seriously, and I need to call and apologize since because of me he lost a great opportunity to be the head coach of a big high school basketball team.
I was beyond happy. It still makes me smile. I saved many youngsters from having to be tormented by that jerk. I never called and apologized and I never threatened him. Not quite sure where that part comes from.
39. It's The Quiet Guy I Don't Know Who Decided To Mess With My Stuff
“I change into a uniform at work, so I usually have my clothes hanging in the locker room. Well, for the last month, someone has been throwing them on the floor. I get there earlier than everyone and don’t have much of a work load, so for an entire week I would watch as people went into the locker room.
It was usually one or two at a time. When someone came back out, I would go in to check if my clothes were on the floor. Anyway, I did this long enough to actually confirm who was doing it. Some guy who I had had basically zero interaction with the entire three years I’ve worked at this place.
So I gathered up all the uniforms he had hanging in the locker room and cut the buttons off of every shirt. I also cut long slits down the backs of his pant legs. He has to work in his street clothes now, and they’re getting ruined. Screw that guy.”
38. Pull A Stupid Prank Like That? Get A Surprise In The Cooler
“I went on a trip with some friends and coworkers but didn’t want to hang out with the families, so I decided to hang out with some coworkers I knew but never hung out with before.
We were camping so we all had tents.
I grabbed some food and came back to find my tent was gone. I got super ticked off because no one would tell me where it was for about 2 hours while they hung at the pool. I was on the verge of punching one of them to show how serious I was.
Finally, one of the guys told me, but I was still super mad. In my tent were my keys, my money, my board shorts for swimming and it was extremely hot out.
Well, I found my tent. I set it back up and looked at their set-up.
They had a cooler by their firepit and it was full of ice and drinks. The ice was mostly melted and the cans just floating in ice water. I decided to take my revenge. I pulled off the cooler top, unzipped my pants and emptied my full bladder into the cooler.
Luckily, I was well hydrated and my urine was near clear. I finished, shook and covered the cooler back up.
Later that night, everyone was around the fire, hanging out and taking shots. It was awkward with what happened with the tent but I was fine.
They offered me a beer, but I declined, declaring that I had my own. They all got stupid and finished the beers in the cooler. I saw one of the idiots wash his hands in the cold water and cool down his face. I just sat there and laughed with them, just maybe a little harder.
I never told any of them about it and I’ve since changed jobs. Ah, memories.”
37. Loud Hotel Neighbors Kept Me Up Late, So I Woke Them Up Early
“I stayed overnight in a travel class hotel, a decent place. The people in the room next to us were boys – brothers I presume – and they were rough housing, like wrestling.
Sounded like two older boys picking on a younger one. Every so often he would scream for mercy and the ‘adult’ would holler at them to knock it off. Then the sounds of furniture slamming against walls and running and bodies struggling would start again.
This went on until nearly 1am. Animals are what they were.
They kept me up but the front desk wouldn’t do a thing. So, my family got up bright and early. I called their room and promptly hung up when they answered. It woke them up!
Suckers! I called every 10-15 minutes for 2 hours, and the morons kept answering, each time sounding more weary and tired. I called from the road, direct dial to their room. Utter morons! They couldn’t figure out how to unplug the phone or leave it off the hook.
They kept me up late, so I felt it was only fair to wake them up early.”
36. Escalate The Situation To The Senior Execs? We Now Know Where You Live
“About ten years back, when I was in college, I worked in the outdoor department of D****s Sporting Goods.
I had the pleasure of being involved with one of those standout jerky customers. The basic overview is that someone put the wrong sale tag on one of the display firearms, with a price that was about 1/3 of the normal price. This guy saw the previous sign, then came back the next day after it had been fixed and proceeded to throw a massive fit.
I should mention that this wasn’t the first time we’d seen him. He’d looked at this exact firearm before. He knew good and well the price was wrong.
So he raged on about false advertising while I calmly explained that there was no way we could sell him the firearm at that price.
For once, my manager even backed me up and turned him down. But this was a dedicated moron. He went home and started making phone calls, eventually talking to a fairly senior executive, and of course, the order was passed down for us to humor him.
And of course, when he came in, he was horrifyingly smug and pleased with himself.
For those who don’t know, when you buy a firearm from a dealer, you fill out some ATF paperwork that includes some nice personal information, which includes your address. And just as a pro tip for everyone out there, it’s probably not wise to make people mad and then give them your address.
My coworkers and I talked at length about how to best make use of this information, but nothing really excellent came from the discussions. Then, one night at home, I had an epiphany.
I Googled ‘free catalog’ and went through about twenty pages of results, signing this moron up for every free publication I could find.
Adult toys, men’s dysfunction information, women’s undergarments, you name it. It went straight to his mailbox. My only regret is that there was no way, short of actually surveilling his house, to actually see his anger and frustration at pulling a giant stack of catalogs out of the box every day.”
35. Crazy Candle Lady Gets What's Coming To Her
“I make 100% soy candles with a piece of genuine jewelry hidden inside (silver, gold, etc.). However, this one competitor is known to stalk and harass other people, especially candle businesses, because she feels like it should only be her doing the surprise candles. She charges way too much for a crappy paraffin candle (made from oil byproducts) with sometimes very crappy jewelry. Anyway, I have gotten stalked and harassed more than once.
She threatens anyone who goes against her with legal action. She came on my business page on and started arguments.
All the while, she has had me blocked from her page because I once was a customer and had a lot of issues with her lack of customer service and the fact that she deletes everything negative from her page.
Also, the candles I ordered in November as Christmas gifts didn’t arrive until mid-January. So, this one woman makes ‘reveal’ videos on YouTube which draw lots of views and in one video, she talks about the candle witch. Turns out, she has been putting fake jewelry in her $50 candles and saying she always tests to make sure stuff is real (she’s a liar about many other things, too).
I’ve watched that video many times. It’s like a lullaby.
Now in the candle community, there’s a special group devoted to hating her and it’s glorious. It’s nice to finally see the tables turned because she has caused me so many problems. It’s amazing to see all the people who have turned on her and to be able to tell others what I have experienced. I hate liars and deceivers so it’s great to see her get what’s coming to her. Online bullying is not okay, folks!”
34. First Come, First Served, Buddy Or I'll Park Behind You
“This may not be the ‘best’ story, but it’s one of my favorites. Some background: I was never a ‘cool kid’ in high school. My senior year, we were allowed to pick our own parking spots in the lot closest to the school. It was first come, first served, which meant I woke up at 4:00 A.M. to get to school at 5:00 A.M. when the doors opened.
As a result, I nabbed a freakin’ sweet spot about ten steps from the school’s front door. A few months later, one of the meatheads in my year decided my spot was his spot now, and parked his obscenely large pickup there. At first I thought, ‘You know, maybe he was in a rush this morning.’ I even approached him with a light ‘Hey, I see you in that spot there.
It’s, uh, mine.’ But when it happened several days in a row I realized this was an ‘on purpose’ kind of thing.
So I did a very simple and effective thing: I drove my car right up to his rear bumper, and parked directly behind him.
I don’t know what was more satisfying – the laughter of my friends, his friends, or the covert approving nods I got from teachers at assembly. I didn’t move my car until I left post-dance practice at about 5:00 P.M. That was the last time anyone tried to park in my spot.”
33. Lie To Me About A Woman You Were With? I'll Only Give You One Chance
“My ex and I were engaged to be married and the wedding had been paid for by my parents.
Big, fancy, and all his idea. I got a call from a Russian girl claiming to be pregnant by him. He was in the Army and was stationed in Alaska for some time and I was still home. When I confronted him, he of course denied it.
He swore it was a lie and this girl’s desperate attempt at getting to stay in America by being knocked up by a soldier. I was young, dumb, and believed him. The girl called me over and over.
To this day I don’t know how she got my number. About three months prior to the wedding, his best friend called me telling me that it was, in fact, true and that he had been unfaithful for months leading up to him coming home.
I finally talked to her, and she told me she’d even be willing to do a paternity test. She claimed not to have known about me until recently before she started calling. Angry and confused, I gave my ex a chance to explain himself and come clean.
I hoped he’d just be honest and we could somehow work through it, but no. He lied to me, straight in the eye – told me I was crazy to believe some ‘dumb Russian princess.’
So, I told him that I wanted him to consent to a paternity test. He refused. What he failed to realize was that his CO was really good friends with my father along with his father. My dad got hold of this information (because I knew what he’d do, I told him), gave his two buddies a call, and they got him to do the paternity test. Turns out, he was, in fact, the father of this soon-to-be beautiful little girl.
He now has to pay child support to a woman who doesn’t let him see his daughter, lost an incredible amount of respect from his officers, and had to pay my father back for the wedding that never took place. He also downsized in apartments and sold a lot of his musical equipment.
In the process, he had to sell his beloved car that he loved more than anyone or anything. I took the engagement ring, sold it for $10,000 and went on the honeymoon with my friends. We spent the 10 grand like it was nothing.”
32. Torment Me School? I'm An Adult Now And A Bigger Person Than You
“Back in school, this guy was your typical overweight guy who people used as a punch bag.
Not to the extent of bruises on his face, but people would bully him prety bad about the way his mum looked, the way he looked, the way he dressed. Just your stereotypical bullying. I’d stick up for him when I could but it was hard in school as I wasn’t the strongest kid either so I’d just try and support him.
This one guy used to do it more than others, with no sympathy at all. He received relentless abuse from this one guy, Ryan.
Now, I don’t know how it affected him at home, but I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant. Now we’re 6- 10 years down the line and TJ is getting on great.
Still overweight but attempting to sort it out, but career-wise he has a great job as an electrician and is earning great money. He is running jobs with this company, and now this company has a smaller sister company which has people training and wanting to get into the profession.
TJ is working on a job when in strolls Ryan, his bully and tormentor. Obviously, TJ feels all the emotions he did when he was younger. Ryan speaks to him normally, and after working together for a few weeks, Ryan begins to apologize for the way he acted and how much of a jerk he was to him in school.
TJ, not being a bad guy, accepts his apologies but doesn’t forget what actually happened and how he was treated. He doesn’t do anything to him, but instead helps him learn and does what any real adult does. He grew up and got on with his life without trying to ruin someone else’s.”
31. Think You're Too Good To Pay Me For Tutoring? Naw, The School You Chose Is Too Good
“I’ve talked about this before in another context but it’s the best revenge story I have.
I used to get paid to write essays for people. I wrote all of this girl’s application essays for 8 different schools but she made all sorts of excuses and ended up only paying a fraction of what she owed me. This girl comes from a rich family and spends about $10,000 a month on her shopping.
She could afford to pay me. But she decided to be cheap and not bother paying me, even though my essays helped her get into a much better school than she expected. I got my revenge though. The school was way beyond her academic capabilities so she ended up flunking most of her classes and getting kicked out.
Ha.”
30. Want To Be The Most Annoying Coworker Ever? I'll Dig Up All Your Dirt
“Lady at my last job was a real witch. Not just to me, but to everyone. She constantly interjected her opinions into conversations that she was not a part of. Would constantly try and throw people under the bus. Try and get you to tell her personal information about yourself then turn right around and spread gossip to others about you, straight-faced during all of this.
She knew people did not like her, and she did not care.
People would try and pretend that they were friends with her just so she would not torture them or back-stab them. But the part that ticked me off was that she was a horrible driver and we took the same route home every day.
She would tailgate me and then when she got bored with that, she would cut me off. I am talking like swerving in front of me with inches to spare before hitting me. On a street route with a speed limit of 55mph, she would be going around 80mph.
Almost everyday.
She would even bring it up at work the next day. Something like ‘Primesrfr, you need to speed up and stop causing a traffic jam.’ Now to the revenge part. I got sick of her antics and one day decided to look up her driving records to see if she had gotten tickets before (this stuff is on public record where I am at).
What I found was so much more than I could hope for. She had been arrested before and arrested for being a lady of the night! Mind you, she was a behemoth of a woman and not attractive.
At first, I was going to go viral with the information and let all my coworkers know, but that felt too wrong.
So eventually I printed out the court docket and laid it on her desk, where only she would see it. She found it, and from my desk, I could see her face turn from shock to horror as she glanced around the office. I felt good.”
29. Slack Off When You Should Be Working? I'll Get The Pettiest Revenge On You
“I had a jerk of a teammate for an entire semester.
He would sit in the corner of the room the entire semester saying he’s working, but often he would just be watching Glee. But whenever the professor rolled into the classroom, he would pop right up and proceed to tell the prof about all the progress we have made.
When midterm comes around, he has absolutely nothing to show for it. He then goes around to everyone – the poor TA, the rest of the team, and members of the other team for help.
Of course, it’s really hard to conjure up a midterm project overnight when all you’ve been doing all semester is watching Glee over and over again.
Alas, this was a team project in Architecture and having a big blank where the classroom buildings are supposed to be in our piazza would have been bad. So the rest of the team along with the poor TA all jump in and pull an all-nighter to basically do his project.
It’s around this time that everybody in the program starts to realize how dumb he is. He hadn’t the slightest clue how buildings work or how to design them.
In one instance, he and the rest of the team had an argument about where walls and floors meet.
We were all designing a traditional Italian masonry house, and he swears that every floor should be two to three feet larger than the perimeter of the walls, resulting in all floors sticking out of the walls. He strongly believes this is how we should build this model.
This kid, an architecture student in his third year into the program, doesn’t know how walls and floors work!
Despite his ignorance and his lack of effort, he would shake his tail in front of the professor and make snide comments about his one-and-only friend and how much his work was better than his friend’s.
They no longer talked by the end of the semester. The professor wasn’t an idiot and caught on pretty quick though, and while the rest of the team got a perfect mark, he got a C, which was a grade too high for him in my opinion.
But this was before the finals came around. By the season of finals, the rest of the team realized that if we want to have a good project, we should do his work for him. If you know any Architecture students, you know we are known for our ability to stay up and work away at a project day and night.
However, not this kid. Every night at around 11pm, he would stop watching Glee, tell the rest of the team how much of a headache he has and that he needs to go to sleep. At first we tried to tell him that he can’t go to sleep without having anything done a week before the final, but soon we noticed how the project flowed more enjoyably when he was gone, and didn’t care to stop him. So, every day for two weeks before finals, we worked on our individual projects.
Come 11pm, we would do his project for another 2-3 hours. He caused several scenes in the studio, which oftentimes ended with him making a girl cry or ticking everyone in the program off and 100% of the time proving what an ignorant jerk he was.
The following year, I got a job in the department. I managed the page and other social media groups for the department. It didn’t take me long to find out about the option to delete people from the page.
Every time he ticked me off, I would delete him from the page.
It wasn’t a big deal, he missed some announcements about guest lectures that he never even went to and missed out on some fun comments on the page at most. But it made my week to delete him off, and another week when I would see that he “liked” the page again.
This would happen two or three times until I perma-banned him as I left the position. For all the idiotic theories he tried to shove down my throat, and all the hours I spent working on his project, the revenge was petty, but darn it, I was trembling with power and excitement when I first deleted him from the page.
He then switched majors and is working to get a structural engineering license to design buildings near you.”
28. Mess With My Drink? Beware The Wrath Of A Patient Man
“At this restaurant I used to work at, we had a side station where the servers could keep a drink (think Pepsi or Powerade).
While I’m generally a good sport about pranks, it was known throughout the entire staff that you were NOT to mess with my drink.
I should note that while everyone else used a to-go cup, I always brought a 52oz cup from my nearby gas station, so it was pretty obvious which one was mine. Anyway, one of the servers did something to my drink one night (I honestly don’t remember what) and I just said something like, ‘Beware the wrath of a patient man’ and went about my night.
A few weeks go by and I decide tonight’s the night. I spiked her drink with Worcestershire sauce.
It’s great because you don’t taste it right away, and then it’s all you can taste the rest of the night. Some time goes by and she hasn’t taken a drink.
So I hit it with some more sauce. Then some more. And some more. In the end it was like 9 parts sauce, 1 part soda. She finally comes back to the side station and it’s just the two of us. She grabs the drink, goes to take a sip, but instead launches into a tirade about some crappy table she had.
She’s going on and on, gesturing wildly and using the cup to punctuate her points. At this point, it’s all I can do not to burst out laughing. She finally reaches the climax to her story and takes a HUGE celebratory swig.
The look in her eyes when she realized what she’d just ingested was priceless.
As she was frantically trying to get the taste out of her mouth, I just said, “Don’t mess with my drink,” and I walked out of the side station.”
27. The Wrath Of Teenage Rage Expressed With Oven Cleaner
“When I was a teenager, the town just north of where I grew up became locally famous for over-policing their roads – to the point of what I considered bullying. Pointlessly following me, constantly hiding at the bottom of hills, slowing down to make you pass them and then following you.
Just an awful town.
While approaching an intersection, I saw a cop parked on the corner and I panicked. Not sure why as I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was just conditioned by years of having to pass through this town. I ended up blowing through a red light right in front of him!
I was pulled over and issued a ticket. I know I was at fault but I felt they had conditioned me to a point of fear. Irrational teenage rage engulfed me.
I immediately went to the store and bought a couple cans of oven cleaner.
I let a week pass by to distance myself from the ticket and then drove around their crappy town all evening and sprayed down every cop car I could find. Oven cleaner melts paint without damaging the vehicle. I later learned this is a felony act of revenge so I don’t recommend it, but I will say how great I felt after doing it!”
26. "Olympic Wrestle" With My Girl? Fish For Days In The Summer Heat
“One day after hanging out with some friends after school I returned home to find my friend’s car parked outside. ‘That’s weird,’ I thought. I head inside and look in the living room. Nope. So I head to my bedroom and open the door to find two bodies wrestling like they were in the Olympics in my bed. I shut the door and go to the kitchen to talk about what I had just seen with my friend, Tom.
Rage is going through my mind right now. I turn to Tom and ask, ‘What can I do to get some revenge?”
Like some revenge god reached down into his head, his eyes open wide, his mouth grinning from ear to ear. He turns to the fridge and opens the freezer.
Out he pulls two individually-wrapped fish filets. I ask, “What the heck are we supposed to do with those?” He grabs a knife from the drawer, cuts a slit in the packaging of each one, heads out the front door to Greco-Roman’s car. He slips the 2 filets under the driver’s seat and shuts his door.
Tom comes back into the house and joins me in laughing. Five months of summer and a rearview mirror you couldn’t fit another air freshener on later, he has to cut the carpet out of his car because the fish has fused with it. We aren’t friends anymore.”
25. Make Fun Of Me As Kids? Now You're Jealous Of Me As Adults
“All of 7th and 8th grade, I was relentlessly bullied by the group of popular girls who I used to be friends with. However, let’s just say I didn’t physically respond to puberty well. I had extremely greasy hair, terrible body stench, millions of pimples, a unibrow, and I was extremely skinny.
I was 85 pounds and 5’7. I went from an adorable little blonde girl, to ‘What on earth is that?’ I was too ugly for them, and they made that very clear to me, so it hurt.
The taunting of bulimia and anorexia made me feel like I needed to prove to them I ate, so I would eat terrible fast food, making my skin, hair, and sweat worse.
I struggled for years with my physical appearance. I was never good enough. Too pale, too pasty, too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, nothing about me was likable to myself. I am now a successful model attending a very prestigious school, while all my bullies are not working, living with mom and dad, and are extremely depressed. They all know how successful I became, and I am so thankful for them.
And that’s the best revenge.”
24. Feeling Pretty Satisfied Watching My Friend Fail After She Was Nasty To Me For Years
“This isn’t a revenge that I actively pursued, so much as it is the way life has just turned out for me and this other girl. Still, it makes me feel smug every time I think about it. We were at school together from the very beginning, and we grew up on the same street until I was 8 years old.
We were friends, but it was a very messed-up friendship that sort of started with her bullying me physically. Then she stopped being completely nasty to me, instead just verbally bullying me on occasions. As we grew into teenagers, we still went to the same schools, but drifted apart and made different friendships.
We both got pretty good grades. Actually, we were quite competitive, fueled by the weird sort of long-standing grudge we had against each other.
I had a really crappy couple of years when I was about 13 to 15. I got very sick, and had to take nearly a year off school.
By the time I returned to school, it turned out that her parents had moved her to a fancy private school – very competitive, one of the best schools in our local area. A couple of years down the line, it was time to apply to university.
And, as it turned out, we both wanted to go to the same one. It’s the best university in our country, which is why we both wanted to go there. She applied but got rejected. She took a gap year, applied a second time, and got rejected again.
I applied – got in on the first try. This might not sound like a big deal, but this girl was a negative influence in my life for such a long time. As it stands, it sounds like she’s really getting on well in life regardless.
But thinking that I got what we both wanted, and she didn’t. Let’s just say I’m pretty satisfied.”
23. Chew Me Out? Batman Wants To Say Hello
“My sister and I fought like cats and dogs growing up for some stupid reason or another. I, the obnoxious older brother and her, the bratty little sister.
At some point around age 13 or 14, I had knee surgery in the summer, which left me mostly immobilized on the couch while other kids played outside.
I had to watch them from the window, the whole time wishing it was me. Anywho, my sister decided it’d be a good time to mock me as I couldn’t do much.
You have to understand, my sister is the kind of person who doesn’t lose arguments as she’ll always shift her argument or logic elsewhere ignoring her previous logic. It’s unreasonably irritating when it comes to having ‘arguments’ with her and this is what boiled over.
This went on for a week or two until the boredom, rage, and luck mixed into a wondrous event.
I had been holding a batman figurine the dog usually chewed on in my hand when the straw that broke the camel’s back came into play.
A harsh throw of the batman figure at her about 6 to 8 feet away did the job amazingly. Nailed her right between the eyes! The look on her face that went from pacified grin to crying will stick with me for a while. Got chewed out but it was totally worth it.
We’re much better now though.”
22. Don't Make That Big Mistake Again
“I was in my first year of high-school, and I participated in an international language program to learn Vietnamese. I went to another high-school every Saturday morning for 5 hours, which I didn’t mind really since I was getting extra credit.
However, not everybody who was there really wanted to be there. If you’ve ever been around a group of Vietnamese teenage boys, you’ll know what they’re like. Wild and obnoxious. Obviously, their parents forced them to go or they needed extra credit. Once, they brought a can of Axe body spray and a lighter and almost burnt a desk.
Another time they brought one of those intricate throwing knives that you can find in a souvenir shop in Chinatown and played target practice on the bulletin board. Now, you might wonder why the teacher didn’t kick them out. Imagine a tiny classroom packed with over 30 students.
The teacher was a tiny Vietnamese immigrant, so you could imagine the troubles that she had controlling the class. But on with the tale. One day, one of the rowdy boys found one of those giant pink ‘FOR BIG MISTAKES’ erasers on one of the desks.
He made a big deal of it even though it seemed pretty childish to me. I sat right in front of this kid throughout the year and he was extremely irritating for the duration of the course. Eventually, he starts picking off little bits of the eraser and throws them at the back of my neck.
I tried to put up with it, but the constant pelting and the snickering behind me ticked me off. So, I gathered all of the little bits of eraser that fell on the floor, my desk, and on my clothes, and kept them in my fist. I pretty much obliterated my own eraser to get more bits.
I kept gathering the bits that he threw at me until the end of the class. By the time the bell was going to ring, I had a large fistful of 3 and a half hours worth of eraser bits that were thrown at me. When the teacher told everyone to pack up their things, I got up and turned around.
I said, ‘Hey, Tony, I think you dropped something.’ And the moment he looks up, I throw the fistful of sweaty eraser bits at his face. It was the best thing ever. It was worse for him though because he had his mouth open as well, so that caught a fair bit of them. What made it really satisfying (at least for a 14 year old me) was that everybody was quiet and heard me say, “Hey Tony,” so I had the entire attention of the class when I e*************d him.
After I did the deed, all I heard was a unanimous “Ooooooooh,” from the class. So I turned around to get my stuff and quickly left before Tony did something, and I saw the teacher smiling. She quickly said, “Class dismissed,” and I was practically the first one to leave.
The next week, Tony didn’t seem angry, but he told me that he’d get me back. He didn’t do anything for the duration of the remaining year and didn’t take the course the following year.”
21. Kick Me Where It Hurts? I'll Get You Back When You Least Expect It
“In my younger years, my little brother kicked me in the groin while we were fake-boxing in the kitchen.
I’m talking the drop-to-the-ground, stomach-hurting, I-can’t-breathe kind of kick in the groin/ Being the little dope that he was, he ran around screaming for Mom. Of course, me being the older brother, I got in trouble and was sent upstairs to my room. I was furious.
I sat there and played my Super Nintendo for a while, and suddenly I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I paused, glanced out my door and saw my little brother scamper past to his bedroom. I figured he was grabbing something quietly and heading back downstairs.
I was right. I got in the predatory position just in time to see him run back past my door toward the stairs. I leaped out after him and tackled him to the ground at the top of the stairs, then proceeded to shove him down to the 13th of 14 stairs, while he screamed the whole time. He didn’t break any bones, but I got into even more trouble when Mom came running to see what the commotion was.
Darn, was it worth it.”
20. Appearances Can Be Deceiving, And I Don't Mind
“So, there’s this guy I used to be friends with. Let’s call him Bill. He’s done all kinds of stuff to minimal effects, like attempting to steal girls. All around a crappy friend. I never really confronted him, just because I didn’t feel like being a mean person. Anywho, we’re at a friend’s party, it’s late and we’re playing a good old fashion manhunt.
After several rounds, I end up watching our base from afar to avoid babysitting. Bill starts to run up and I see him. I instantly toss a quarter-full bottle of water at his chest to slow him down, but after bouncing off of his chest he gets a head of steam.
Now, we’d been playing a bit rough, so at this point I assumed I broke his nail or something. He decides to slug me, full force in the gut. …And it does nothing! It was hilarious. I was about to apologize but after seeing this display of a guy acting like such a baby after being tapped by a water bottle I couldn’t help but laugh.
It was then I stopped caring about all of Bill’s actions against me, jerk moves towards me, and other crap like that because I felt bad for him. Since that day, whenever I hear him gossip about me, I let it go, because I know that’s most likely all he has.”
19. Be A Nightmare Of Sister? Pay Up
“When my sister was 14, she was a nightmare. She was spoiled, self-centered, and took an active delight in ruining my life, including – but not limited to – planting that special green plant in my room and telling my mom they were mine. And the worst part is that, since she was their favorite child, I could not do anything about it.
One night, I’m talking with my ‘little brother’ (one of my mom’s friends had a nephew that everyone would joke was my little brother). He started asking if I would rat him out if he snuck out in the middle of the night.
I was like, “Heck, no!” So, he tells me that my little sister, who was having several friends over that night, was going to sneak out with her friends, my ‘little brother’ included. I tell him no, I have to be up super early the next morning.
He’s disappointed, but he understands. So, I wait until they’ve sneaked out, and I go out, lock the doors, and take the spare keys out from under the doormat. Then, I call up my little sister and tell her that she has a choice.
She either pays me $100, or our mom finds out that she sneaked out with everyone. She refused to pony up the cash. And I have never heard my mother scream at my sister that loudly ever before, or since.”
18. Pretentious Roommate Is In For A Rude Awakening
“This isn’t my revenge, but my dad’s.
In med school, my dad went to Harvard and lived with friends who either went to school with him or went to other schools in or around Boston. One roommate who went to Boston University would always talk crap about how their schools sucked, claiming that Harvard was just an overly-hyped school, and how much smarter and better he was than all of them.
One day, they decided enough was enough. My dad worked in one of the school offices, so they got an envelope and letter sheet from the office and went home where he and all the other roommates typed a long letter pretending to be from the dean’s office.
The letter said they had been observing him and found him so impressive that they wanted to give him a full ride and automatic admission starting the next semester. He called his whole family and rubbed it in all the roommates’ faces. He showed up to the admissions office to get his ID the next day and had a terrible surprise.
They never told him it was them.”
17. The Greatest April Fool's Joke Ever
“Years ago, I worked for an equipment manufacturer installing equipment for local telephone companies. We often played practical jokes on each other and April 1st was a good excuse for some doozies. On April 1st, 1981, the job in-charge politely arranged for someone from the district office to call me up and transfer me.
My destination? Killeen, Texas. Needless to say, I was a little perturbed. I knew there was no reason for me to go from Winder Georgia to Killeen Texas so I called the regional office and asked what was going on. It only took a few minutes to find out that somebody was pulling one.
There was a room full of operators in the room next door to the equipment room we were working in and there were huge double doors that were almost always open between the rooms. With 8 male installers working in the equipment room, you can guess that there were occasional problems with cussing.
You know the drill, a finger with a wrench, let out a blue string of cuss words. So I got the bright idea of telling the job in-charge that the operators were complaining about the cussing. I went to see the Central Office Supervisor and suggested to him that it might be fun if somebody told the in-charge that the operators were complaining about the language.
You would have to know him to truly understand this, but he was 6′ 6″ tall, about 350 pounds, and he loved a good joke. He looked at me and smiled a big wide grin and said ‘I’ll take care of it.’ Now I didn’t have any big ambitions, just a little clean fun with some guys I enjoyed working with.
But the C.O. Supervisor went way beyond anything I expected.
He came to the equipment room and got the in-charge and said, ‘I need to talk to you in my office.’ Now that starts to sound serious. So, they go to the Supervisor’s office and about 2 minutes later the in-charge comes running back into the room with a look of utter devastation on his face.
He immediately grabs the phone and calls the district office to tell the regional manager that one of the operators had filed a union complaint about the cussing in the switch room and they were about to kick every one of us out onto the street.
The regional manager told him to calm down and explain what was wrong and then suggested that he go to the head operator and ask what the problem was. He goes to the head operator and says, ‘I hear there has been a complaint about the curse words being used in the equipment room.’ She had no idea what was going on, but in the purest southern tradition, she poured gasoline on the fire by saying, ‘I don’t know about a union complaint, but it sure is terrible what we hear coming through those doors.’ We let him steam for a little over an hour before we finally told him what was up.
He swore eternal vengeance on me. Even today, when we talk, he says ‘I’ll get even yet!’”
16. The Unprofessional HR Manager Gets A Petty Payback
“I was going through an employment process at a Hy-Vee (grocery store), of which I was given 2 positions I was interested in: back warehouse and meat department. I go in for a 3-hour-long orientation today only to be hinted that I am scheduled for cashier.
I felt kinda bummed out but I just figured that was okay, and I’ll just work my way up to a different position. The third hour into the orientation, the HR manager’s cell phone rings. He proceeds to talk for 10 minutes about his child’s little league baseball and football, and his upcoming vacation plans very casually to a friend.
I had enough so I walked out and drove home. The HR manager called me a few minutes later asking about what happened. I explain the above and follow by saying it is extremely unprofessional to answer a personal phone call in the middle of an orientation and make the soon-to-be employee wait for you to finish.
He apologized and I ended the call with the greatest feeling of satisfaction. Probably not as extreme as some of the other stories out there but that feeling of satisfaction knowing he has to sit through another 3-4 hour orientation for the next employee that will be taking what would be my job has me reeling.”
15. Be A Mean Girl? Get Rolled In Poison Ivy
“There was this girl I went to college with that was a huge witch. She was always saying really condescending things about everyone. To be honest, I don’t even know why people kept her around. She was also particularly mean to me and this other friend of mine, and we became close after bonding over our shared experiences with her.
Fast forward a year until a week before graduation. My group of friends and I (including the girl) all went camping to spend a night in the woods. Overall, it was a really good time. There was a bonfire, a lot of nostalgia and reminiscing, and everyone was inebriated. Eventually, she gets too intoxicated and passes out, which was not unusual. The friend and I saw this as an opportunity to get our last revenge.
So we very sneakily and quietly picked her up and tossed her into a huge plot of poison ivy that we had spotted earlier in the day. We went back to the party as if nothing had ever happened and an hour or so later she woke up freaking out and was literally covered in poison ivy rash.
We actually had to pack her up and take her to the hospital – which looking back on I sort of feel bad about, but luckily she wasn’t allergic and had no long-lasting effects. Anyway, I think others were sort of fed up with her too because no one showed much sympathy and thought she had done it to herself.
She was covered in this gross, blistery red rash and didn’t get to participate in any of the senior week activities. Plus, she looked scary in her graduation photos.”
14. Got You Good, Gullible Brother
“When I was 14, my brother had a Government class and was required to campaign at the local call center.
He volunteered me to go. It was 8 hours long and a complete waste of a Saturday afternoon. That night, I went into his room with my dad’s razor and shaved off his eyebrows. Flat and smooth like a baby’s butt. We worked out at a pool with a hot tub and a swim team and such.
The head coach and the team helped me convince him that he had a rare condition called ‘Abbciditis’ (not sure about the spelling since it was a made up word).
It’s where you absorb chlorine and saline from the pool and hot tub into your body through Athlete’s Foot, which would in turn make your hair fall out.
It started with the eyebrows. Of course, it was all made up. By the end of the day, the whole team helped convince him that he had this terrible disease and he needed to go home and get my folks to take him to the hospital. So, we ran home and he went into the house almost in tears.
Unfortunately, my swim coach got the better of me and knew what I had done. She called my house and told my mom and dad and they were hysterical at his grief. I didn’t get in any trouble and he still sulks about it to this day.
Best day of my life.”
13. Complain About Your Burrito? You Get The Worst Burrito Ever
“At a place I used to work at, a lot of vendors would buy us lunch, and we often bought ourselves lunch as well. This one guy always made insane demands about his food when getting the order together. On top of it, he never asked, just demanded. He’d call down to the shop every 20 minutes complaining, ‘Where is my burrito?
I better get it, darn it!’ Even though we’d put orders in around 9:30 A.M. and pick them up around noon, he’d keep calling.
He would then get ‘busy’ and wouldn’t clock out for lunch, so he could get meal break penalty time. Which amounted to like an extra $100 and some odd dollars each week.
I started to notice this, and I was getting annoyed that this idiot who barely knew anything was pulling this stuff.
So, I started eating, giving away, and tossing out his orders every so often. Given that this was my engineering internship, I was allowed to pick out a place to order food from for my last day.
I picked a burrito place. I put the order in and got everyone exactly what they wanted… but him. Wrong meat, death sauce, wrong veggies, extra garlic, no guac, tons of sour cream. Plus, it was ridiculously small. So it wasn’t what he wanted, and it was small and soggy.
Basically, you couldn’t eat it. Nothing crazy, but it’s the small things that usually annoy you.”
12. Be A Fake Best Friend? Lose Your Friends
“Throughout most of 6th and 7th grade, I was friends with a fat, stupid, lazy, lying piece of crap. He was my best friend but would make fun of me whenever we were around other people, even making fat jokes about me to his parents.
I was kinda chubby but he was easily 230 pounds. He would also tell me tons of made-up stories about him hooking with all of the hottest girls we knew, which I ‘believed.’ Throughout all of our friendship I would spot him for food. Just small things – 5 dollars one day, 10 the next day, 3 or 4 on the day after that.
The entire time, he would be a jerk to people in secret and lie about it.
So for months, I’ve been getting more and more annoyed at him, and I decided to test our friendship. I ask him to pay me back some of what he owed me, easily over 150 dollars.
He avoids me, saying he’ll have it the next day, and runs and hides with a group of kids older and more athletic than us, making up fake reasons for me being mad at him. So they all start to hate me. After about two weeks of me being reasonable and trying to save our friendship, I find out he’s been telling everyone some crappy reason for me being mad at him where I’m the jerk.
I lose my cool.
I go to everyone he’s ever talked crap about to me and tell them about it. A mob of about 15 ticked-off middle schoolers – most of them being hormone crazy girls – find him during lunch and spend it yelling at him. All of his former friends, most of whom he introduced me to, now hate him.
He starts to pay me back 10 to 20 dollars at a time. After paying me about 50 dollars, he texts me and asks if there is any way we could ever be friends again. I tell him probably not.
He stops paying me back. I feel like at this point I should mention that I didn’t really care about the coin, I was just basing it on respect.
So he has to make a whole new group of friends while I’ve stolen all of his. About 4 years later, he has regained most of those friends (who I realized later were all as shallow and messed-up as he is) and I have a whole new group of friends who actually respect the people around them.”
11. Ants In Your Pants...? Nope, Creatures In Your Coat!
“When I was in the Air Force, all the airmen would screw around and prank each other whenever we could. One day, my friend Brent found a gigantic snail. Seriously, this thing was almost the size of a racquetball.
Brent thought it would be hilarious to stuff it down the back of my shirt and then crush it, which he proceeded to do.
You might not realize this, but inside a snail’s shell is a lot of watery slime – in addition to its guts, of course. The result of it being smashed under my shirt was copious amounts of slime running down my back and into my gluteal cleft. As you can imagine, the sensation wasn’t pleasant.
Everyone was howling with laughter. Anyway, I made a promise to myself that I’d reap horrific vengeance on Brent, and that it would occur that very day. You see, I had knowledge of a rotting tree stump, and that this stump was home to approximately 20 million wood ants.
Quietly, I pilfered Brent’s BDU coat from his locker and brought it out to the stump. A few hefty kicks to the stump brought about the host of tiny angry ants.
Soon, the bark of the stump was hardly visible under the black mass of writhing insects.
Carefully I draped Brent’s BDU coat over the chaos, and waited for the ants to fill every nook and hem in the fabric. Meanwhile, I scooped piles of the creatures into his pockets with a humble styrofoam coffee cup. Noticing that it was nearly lunchtime, and having procured the agents of my wrath, I placed Brent’s crawling BDU coat back into his locker. When lunchtime came, Brent bolted to his locker and threw on his BDU coat in usual fashion.
The line at the mess hall queued rapidly, and Brent was never one to be late for lunch. To my delight, he was out the door and walking to his car before he had realized the new tiny and vicious inhabitants of his uniform.
The first couple of them caught him off guard.
He grabbed at his wrist as a tiny pang shot up his arm. Then there was another and another. ‘Ants! Oh my!’ he must have thought as he brushed his sleeves in concern. It was too late for poor Brent, though. By the time he realized the extent of his infestation, he was flailing in terror.
With madness, he tore off his BDU coat sending its buttons across the lawn and ran to the gate guards for help. There were tears in his eyes. We all howled with laughter.”
10. Pick On My Wife? I'll Get You Back Years Later
“This wasn’t personal revenge but revenge on my wife’s behalf.
I worked for the BBC. I controlled the lighting on a music program, ‘Top of The Pops.’ They replaced a dance troop with a new lot. One of them went to school with my – now wife – and she told me of that girl’s bullying and arrogance and how she made her and few others’ lives a bit miserable.
I didn’t care though. Quite a few performers can be a bit diva-ish.
I went to the same school and never noticed it, but being a studious kid I never hung with the in-crowd. When I got to the studio that changed. The dancer recognized me and, thinking I was an audience member, said something along the lines of, ‘Hi there, fancy seeing you here.
I’m performing here. I might get you into the green room later and you can collect autographs.’ That’s not a bad thing to say but it was said with a certain tone of voice and a twist of her lip that irritated me. When their spot came along I dimmed the spotlight on her, to make sure the camera never paused on her.
I did it the week later, too. There wasn’t another chance, as that dancer was let go. The camera didn’t like her. I feel bad about it occasionally but there it is. I’ve done many acts of kindness since.”
9. Ask Me How The Weather Is? I'll Tell You And Show You
“It all started in my freshman year of high school.
As many of us know, this is a time of insecurity and apprehension for boys at this age. Well, you might ask what I was insecure about. I was very insecure about my height. In my freshman year of high school I stood at 6 foot 11 inches, making me the tallest kid in the school by a solid 5 inches.
Keep in mind that I was a freshman. Well, I didn’t like being tall. It made me stick out, and everyone wanted me to play basketball. Well, I wanted neither of these things. I just wanted to be a normal kid, not some tall freak (my thoughts at the time). So naturally, when I started getting harassed and called names by a kid two grades below me, I wasn’t very happy.
I knew that I was getting singled out because of my size, and ultimately my size made it impossible for me to physically retaliate unless he hit first.
Anyway, one day I was just in a bad mood. I’d been fighting with my mom earlier that day about grades, and everyone just seemed to be particularly jerkish.
The fourth bell rolls around and this kid starts verbally assaulting me, up in my face wherever I went, calling me all sorts of foul names. I was shaking with anger, all I could do was clench my fists at my side and take the abuse.
I was in a truly crappy situation. Then, this bully who loved tormenting other people made a very unwise decision. I anticipated that he would say it one day. He just happened to do it on a day where I was really not taking any crap.
This kid looks up at me, and says, “Hey, freak, how’s the weather up there?”
Without a second of thought, I proceeded to inhale hard through my nose, bringing every bit of mucus down into my mouth. I then proceeded to bend down to his level, spat on his head, and said, “It’s raining, fool.” Every person in that hallway saw me do it, and every person was laughing at my tormentor’s misfortune.
Ironically, he told on me and wound up getting me into trouble. My punishment? A 20 minute detention, was administered by the chuckling assistant principal. Because I stood up to this bully, I gained school-wide fame. Oh, and he also stopped bullying me.”
8. Give Me Detention? I'll Turn The Class Against You
“When I was 9 or 10, we had a substitute teacher for 2 or 3 weeks.
She gave me detention (the very first I had received, I might add) for not only something I didn’t do but something that was not even worthy of detention if I had actually done it. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but it was something stupid like coughing while she was speaking.
Anyway, I systematically turned my entire class against her, and subtlely undermined her whenever I could. We did stuff like the entire class coughing together on cue, every single person making a paper plane out of their worksheet and trying to throw it out the window, asking incredibly stupid questions about the simplest of tasks, passive-aggressively correcting her when she made minor mistakes while speaking… the list goes on.
We ended up pushing her to tears. In hindsight, it was pretty cruel.
I’m now working at my old primary school in a childcare program. I (think) I saw her once, and she gave me this look like she simultaneously remembered and despised me. I just smiled and continued about my business.”
7. The Kind Of Revenge That Makes One Sleepless
“At work, I had an employee not listen to me one night. A lot. I told him I’d get him back. Now, when I get revenge, I never go the easy route. I knew this kid smoked stuff, so one day I had a loud conversation with a coworker (who was in on it) about the random tests.
He thought he was eavesdropping and we didn’t know. About a week later I started talking about ‘Jake’ the unfortunate kid who got arrested when he failed the last test due to our zero-tolerance policy. None of this was true (I basically work in the hood).
I let everyone in on it, but instructed them not to directly talk to him about it, unless he asked, and even then to just say something like, ‘Um, I think I heard about that.’ After about a week of uncertainty, I approached him one night while I was managing with a zip lock bag, a container, and his name/department number on it.
He broke down and begged me not to test him. I dropped the bag and said, ‘Man, it was all a lie. I made it up. Don’t mess with me ever again.” He confided in me that he hadn’t slept in three days. I applied the kind of revenge that makes one sleepless.”
6. Call Me Mean Names? I'll Throw Out Your Favorite Card
“When I was 9, I was in an after-school program and there was this little imbecile, Darius, who picked on just about everybody. Oh, I hated Darius so much. One day, the after-school program takes us all to Shenandoah National Park and I sit behind little imbecile Darius on the bus.
He made the huge mistake of bringing his binder full of Pokémon cards and placing them on the ground. The binder slides behind his seat and in front of me. I open it up and snatch his holographic Chansey card.
A girl, who never really liked me, sees me do it and gives me a thumbs up.
Well, I slide it back under his seat and when we get there, I make sure nobody sees me go to the Port-o-potty where I drop it. Now, I loved Pokémon cards and didn’t have a holographic Chansey so I could have kept it for myself, but I didn’t want him to have any sense of hope of retrieving it.
I wanted him to lose all hope when he saw his rarest card resting on a bed of dung. About 30 minutes after we got there, he noticed the card missing so he and his little imbecile posse went looking for it. They eventually discover its location and one of them starts blaming me.
So they all pick on me but I start crying and saying that I didn’t do it.
Luckily, the counselors believed me and they told the guys to leave me alone. Man, I was so satisfied that day. That’s what you get for calling me a fat pig, Darius!”
5. Sometimes A Small Victory Is The Perfect Revenge
“In high school, there was the typical jerk-wad. He’d pick on weaker kids mostly. In gym class, he’d provoke the teacher to the point where we’d just be running laps, and in any other class he’d just throw stuff at everyone.
There was an elective day where we could line up for various activities.
My friends and I lined up for rock climbing, and there were only 5 spots left. He cuts in front of me and says a nasty insult, and that if I hadn’t done anything, the guy at the end of the line wouldn’t get in. So I tell him to buzz off, and do the old ‘step on one of his feet, and then push him backwards so he falls’ trip.
My other friend then takes his baseball cap and throws it in one of the garbage bins. His face just wells up red, and he storms off.
Considering we weren’t particularly ‘cool’ in high school, and I was a pretty average kid who never really did anything bad, it felt sweet, and the adrenaline was nice.
It was a small victory, but in the cafeteria where there were tons of teachers, it was probably the best thing we could have done. And tons of people saw it, too, so bonus points for sticking up for ourselves to this jerk.”
4. When Bullying Becomes Motivation To Never Be Like The Bully
“This story isn’t too direct on revenge but the successful feeling afterward still motivates me.
I was a dedicated Theater/Film major in middle school, auditioned to the top theater school in my city and got rejected, and went to a school for film instead which didn’t upset me too much until I got there. My media teacher knew I came from a school where I had learned film and it became obvious throughout the year she was hired into that position just to fill it.
I even heard rumors she threatened the principal of a lawsuit to get the job.
Anyway, she bullied me throughout the year. She made me do scenes in front of the class as she called me a ‘horrible actor’ and said things like, ‘There’s the reason you didn’t get into that school.’ She would reject my scripts, postponing my team’s films and blaming it on me.
Once, I brought up a workbook for her to grade. I got a 16 out of 20. When I asked what I got wrong, she proceeded to get out the answer book, look me straight in the eye and say, ‘Give me a minute to grade it.’ Another time, on the top of my rough draft for a project she asked to see my paper (only mine, no one else).
At the top, I had written ‘Media Crap.’ I knew it wasn’t correct of me but at this point I had enough and didn’t care. She saw the title and without a word, took my paper and left the room for a minute. She returned and gave me my paper, all without a word.
Later, a friend from a later class told me she went on a full class rant, like she often did, which is 1 hour and 30 minutes long. She had Xeroxed my paper, put it on the overhead with my name on the paper and everything and had the ‘don’t be this student’ rant.
After all of this I auditioned for the theater school again, nailed my audition, and have been the only student filming our main stage plays. I was cast in a show, had one of my scripts looked at by Hollywood casting directors, and student-directed a mainstage performance.
Plus, I heard her grandmother died the year I left. Anyways, I look back on it and it always motivates me to never be like her.”
3. Steal My Two Toy Cars? I'll Make It Look Like You Stole A Puzzle
“When I was in kindergarten, a bully stole my two toy cars. Despite my several tries to get them back, whether by asking him or other people, I did not get my cars back.
In class, we used to sit on the floor, and put all our backpacks behind us. On our right, was the collection of puzzles and toys. One day in class, I sneakily took one of the puzzles, put it in his bag and returned the bag to where it was.
No one noticed that I did that. The next day, his dad appeared in class, dragging him by his ear while he was crying and all red, and explained to the class what his son had done. I proceeded to laugh maniacally, so I was punished for that by being sent to a room to sit on my own.
They probably punished me for thinking I was laughing at the misfortunes of others, but boy, did it feel good to have gotten my silent revenge on a bully.”
2. The Sticky Super-Soaker 7UP Revenge
“When I was a kid, super soakers were all the rage. I went to a party for my mom’s work, and all the kids were running around with huge super soakers.
You know, the ones with three reserve tanks that can shoot, like, 8,000 feet.
Well, I didn’t bring my super soaker so, of course, I was their target. I begged my mom, ‘Please, please, please give me some for a super soaker,’ so she gave me $5.
I ran to the place where they were selling the stuff and bought a tiny one. I knew this wouldn’t be enough to get revenge on the other kids, so I thought of an evil plan. I ran over to the refreshment table and grabbed 3 7-up cans and filled my super soaker.
Then I chased after them, spraying them with 7-up. All I can remember them screaming was ‘Run! He is spraying us with sticky stuff!’ Oh, I had a lot of fun that day.”
1. Make Comments About My Mom? I'll Take Your Daughter Out For Dinner
“To give you some backstory, this was the last of a series of revenge pranks. The first prank I tried to do, I did because everyday when my coworker came into my office, he would see a picture of my mom on my desktop (I was homesick) and he always commented on how hot my mom was.
So I decided to ask my mom to call him at work and call him misogynist and a bad influence and whatnot, which she thought was funny. Well, it turned out they ended up chatting for an hour after he realized it was a joke and he told everyone in the office that my mom was trying to pick him up. Every single day for two years he proceeded to ask me how my Mom was doing and when she was gonna call next.
He even copied down her number and called her to wish her a happy new year both years just to get at me. During my five-year pinning at my work, he told the story to a room full of ‘higher-ups’ and of course I turned red. So this is when I decided to get him back.
I had recently become single and he was giving me advice all the time about how I needed to go out and play the field. I ended up finding out his daughter’s name and looked her up on social media. I asked if she would help me prank her dad and she agreed so we went out for dinner and I took a picture of us drinking out of the same drink with two straws.
I got it developed and put it in a heart-shaped frame on my desk. Then I got my boss to let it slip that I have a new beau and there’s a picture of her on my desk already. He came straight in and stood in silence for a bit and muttered, ‘But that’s my daughter.’ Since I did that prank, he has stopped asking me how my mom is doing.
Also, last Christmas I got a mug made with that picture on it with “World’s Greatest Dad” written on it.”
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