People Ask Us If Their Behavior Was Unacceptable In Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Preventing Myself From Getting Sick?
“I (21 F) have celiac disease with a very high sensitivity, and my partner (29 F) doesn’t necessarily understand cross-contamination. When she is in the kitchen handling her own wheat foods, she pretty much rubs gluten on every surface, all over the counter and fridge where I then will have touched and cross-contaminated my own food later on.
I’ve been very understanding as she has ADHD and it can get very annoying/confusing to change gloves and wash your hands every 10 seconds, so I made a list of things to do while in the kitchen that help prevent me from getting sick and stuck it on the fridge.
Well, a couple of days ago I was cross-contaminated again. So yesterday when I saw her making her food, I watched out of the corner of my eye and gave some gentle guidance. She had been wearing a glove and pulling food from a bag that was mine (I let her).
That’s fine and all, but she then started moving pieces of it around on her wheat Tortilla, the glove touching it as she was rearranging the food, and then putting her hand back in the bag.
So I asked her when she was done if she could please throw the bag out or just use it for herself later on and explained where the cross-contamination happened. Well, she got mad at me, saying how she ‘clearly can’t do it right’ and getting upset because she assumed that my first reaction is to move out if I continue getting sick.
I told her I wasn’t mad at her, that I was just trying to help prevent getting myself sick and give her pointers on how to navigate the shared kitchen. She kept saying I made her feel stupid and I apologized as that wasn’t my intention.
But alas, she has barely spoken to me since and is still mad at me/not talking for a reason I don’t really understand. AITJ here?”
35. AITJ For Not Helping My Brother-In-Law Convince His Daughter To Let Him Walk Her Down The Aisle?
“I am the oldest of 4 siblings. Me, (47 M) Ellie (45 F), Jamie (41 M), and Jane (38 F). Jane is married to Rick, (39 M) and they have two children together.
Alice (21 F) and Daniel (18 M).
Growing up, it was pretty obvious that Daniel was Rick’s favorite child, so much so that even Alice could see it. Rick spent more time with Daniel than her. She’s complained about it to her mom, but she either just dismissed her concerns and said she was overthinking it or called her ungrateful because some people don’t even have fathers.
We’ve talked to my sister over and over about this, but she just thinks we’re trying to undermine her because we’re older.
She is closest to my younger brother, Jamie. To put it simply, they always did all the things that Alice wishes Rick would do with her.
She even admitted to me once in secret that she sees Jamie as more of a father than Rick.
Recently, my niece announced that she was getting engaged to her partner of 3 years. Everyone was happy for her obviously, but then came the comment that set everything ablaze.
My sister said ‘My favorite part will be when your father walks you down the aisle. It’ll be beautiful!’
Alice stared at her, before rolling her eyes and saying. ‘Actually, I’d prefer it if Uncle Jamie walked me down the aisle.’
My sister looked horrified, but Rick shot up and lost his cool.
He demanded to know the meaning behind her decision, and Alice replied that she just would prefer it if her favorite uncle walked her down the aisle. Rick shouted that he was her father, and that honor should go to him. Alice said bitterly that her Uncle Jamie is more of a father than she is, and that he can have a special role at his golden child’s wedding.
He started crying, threw himself at her feet, and begged her to let him walk her down, but she refused. The worst part is that he tried to throw Daniel under the bus, saying that because he didn’t object to being treated like the golden child, it’s his fault too.
I could tell Daniel looked hurt. She kicked him out right then and there, along with Jane who made no attempt to stop him.
Jane called me and asked me if I could either convince Alice to let her father walk her down or convince Jamie not to accept the role.
Apparently, she called Jamie and asked him to resign, but he refused, saying that Rick brought this on himself. Jane says that Jamie respects me the most, so he’ll listen if talk to him.
I told her to shut up and I hung up.
Ellie says I should have made more effort to convince Alice because this could’ve been a chance to bond with her father.
My mom thinks that Jamie is being unfair to Rick, whilst everyone else is backing us.
AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Joining A Vegan Online Community Despite Not Being Vegan?
“I (26 F) have been eating mainly plant-based food since I was 14, not because of ethics or because I wanted to be vegan, but because I am lactose intolerant and HATE the taste, texture, and smell of meat. I make a few exceptions, for example when my partner (who’s learning to cook) makes something I always have at least a few bites of it to show my appreciation – or some special dishes that I like.
A few months ago my coworker found my Instagram page where I post a lot of my vegan recipes, post pictures of vegan food I buy, restaurants I like, etc. She invited me to a local Vegan and Vegetarian Discord community, where people started calling me ‘Vegan Mama’ because I constantly try to give advice on how to cook certain things or adapt recipes – 12 years of cooking have shown me a lot.
I never claimed to be vegan, but people assumed and I didn’t care enough to correct them since explaining it over and over gets annoying quickly.
I recently celebrated my birthday and my mother made a dish I ate a lot as a child which contains meat (it was the only thing with meat I would eat when I was younger).
I posted a big picture carrousel and one of the pictures was me absolutely devouring this specific dish. The caption was just a big text explaining how I was happy to see my family and friends, and how glad I was that we can all share big meals like this, it didn’t contain any recipes.
One of the people from the server then sent me a private message asking for the recipe for that specific dish and saying how it looked great and they wanted to try it, I asked my mother for the recipe and typed it, I clarified it wasn’t vegan and how they could substitute certain parts to make it vegan.
She left me on read and a half hour later I got a notification from my coworker to check Discord as soon as possible.
The person who had asked me for the recipe screenshotted my message and picture and sent those screenshots along with a big text about how I wasn’t vegan and had basically ‘betrayed’ them, my coworker and a lot of people thought they were lying, so I clarified that while I eat vegan 99.99% of the time I don’t self-identify as one and make exceptions for special things like that – a lot of people understood but others claimed I had been lying and didn’t belong in the community, one of those people was my coworker.
She has since started spreading the word around work – most of our coworkers couldn’t care less but it’s become annoying having to explain my situation over and over because people think she’s lying. I understand that it was kind of trashy not clarifying, but I eat mostly plant-based and only talked about vegan/vegetarian food in Discord.
So, am I the jerk because I didn’t clarify I’m not a vegan after joining a Vegetarian and Vegan Discord?”
33. AITJ For Telling My Neighbor's Son To Keep The Noise Down?
“I (M 26) live in an apartment with my fiancée (F 26). We have a daughter (F 2).
We have next-door neighbors, a nuclear family with two children, (M 14) and (M 4).
They’ve been living next-door to us for around 3 months, and the noise has been extremely disruptive and annoying. Both of their children are homeschooled and are frequently up at odd hours of the night.
The eldest frequently plays video games late at night with the TV on a ridiculous volume, and randomly screams and cusses at the top of his lungs.
Their youngest often kicks the walls and is left by the parents to do this.
This frequently wakes up me and my family very late at night, and ear plugs do little to stop this as the noise is often so bad the floor vibrates.
The eldest son’s screaming and cussing frighten my daughter. Our building’s quiet hours are between 10 pm and 7 am.
I first talked to the neighbors about this around 2 months ago, to which they responded that their eldest screams and cusses whenever he loses a game. They said their youngest kicks the walls during tantrums and that they let him ‘fight it out’.
I told them that that doesn’t matter and that the level of noise during the late hours of the night is unacceptable. They said they’d ‘deal with it’.
Fast forward to last month, the noise hadn’t improved. They woke up my family at around 2 am with screaming, cussing, blasting TV, and wall-kicking.
I knocked on their door but no one answered, so I decided to report them to our building manager along with video evidence.
Two weeks ago, I could hear their eldest blasting his video games and screaming again, this time it was around midnight. He woke up my poor daughter again who was frightened, and woke up my fiancée as well.
I was very fed up and went and knocked on their door again.
This time, the eldest answered the door. It seemed as though he was the only one home. I, very sternly, told him he needs to keep the noise down and that he woke up my whole family.
He sheepishly promised he’d be quiet and apologized. It was silent for the rest of the night.
A couple of days afterward, the neighbors appear at our door and are mad. They accused me of ‘intimidating’ their son and said that he was home alone that night.
I told them that if they kept the noise down I wouldn’t have to keep knocking on their door, and that they need to be more considerate. They called me a bully and said that I should be more considerate of other parents doing their best, and said that I frightened their son and caused him a panic attack.
AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Not Staying At My Mother-In-Law's House?
“My spouse (31 F) and I (34 F) have been together for 10 years and married for six of those. In case anyone missed it, we are a gay couple, and it’s relevant to this scenario.
Before we got married, my MIL (~65 F) insisted that no unmarried couples shared a bed at her house, and I was fine with this.
That was the rule, for all 4 of her children: no unmarried couples, no matter how long you’ve lived together. For a variety of reasons, we all suspected that the real reason for the rule was that she just didn’t want any gay people sharing a bed in her house, but whatever, it’s not my house, and that’s a common enough house rule anyway.
Then we got married. The first time we planned to visit after getting married, we were informed that the rule had changed: now, no couple except for her and her husband can share a bed in her house, married or not. As far as I’m concerned, this was absolute proof of the real reason for the rule, but again, it’s not my house, not my mother, and really not my battle.
I booked us a hotel instead. And that’s what we’ve done every time we visit. I’m happy enough to respect that it’s her house rule, but it’s not a condition under which I’m willing to stay with her or anyone else.
The knock-on effect is that we don’t end up spending that much time with the in-laws when we visit.
This hurts MIL’s feelings. She thinks that we’re (I am, even though my spouse and I are 100% on the same page) being unreasonable by being unwilling to spend X nights in separate bedrooms for the sake of spending time with family. I think she’s disrespecting our marriage by expecting this.
I know that it hurts her to miss out on time with her daughter over this, and I don’t think she’s a horrible person or anything, so I do feel a little bad about it. And as much as I think it’s pretty obvious now that it’s a homophobia thing, she IS still equally applying the rule to all her children.
But I don’t feel bad enough that it’s something I’m willing to compromise on. On the other hand, I wonder a tiny bit if I’m being oversensitive.”
31. AITJ For Posting About My Friend's Unethical Business?
“My (24 F) friend (25 F) has been struggling a lot financially ever since we graduated college. She lives in a really broken-down house with a bunch of health hazards as she’s not a clean person.
She has 4 dogs and they poop and pee on the floor and she barely mops or dusts the place. She also has a bad roach infestation.
How people live is not my business but my friend started a homemade skincare ‘company.’ I went to her house one day to drop off some celebratory cake from my fiancé and I’s engagement party which she could not attend.
When I got there, I saw her making some body butter in a mixing bowl. She dropped a lot of the powder she was using on the floor and just swept it back up and put it in her bowl. I told her she shouldn’t sell that but she said it was fine and that she had done stuff like that before.
I was disgusted and quietly left.
She’s given free samples to our friends before and most of the time they’ve broken out or got some kind of reaction after using it. Nobody ever said anything so as to not discourage her but this was so unsanitary and unsafe.
She is pretty popular and good at advertising so quite a few people have bought her things. She has about 4k followers and a lot of people have complained, but she just deletes those comments. Mind you, these are all locals from our city.
I texted her about it and told her to stop doing that and she told me to stop meddling.
I was honestly so fed up and thought about how dangerous this was for customers and made a public post exposing her, and she lost a lot of her followers, and her reputation was ruined. She basically lost her source of income and people started demanding money + threatening lawsuits.
One girl claimed she broke out so bad in hives (she doesn’t even list ingredients) that she had to get some sort of life-saving shot.
My friend group is very angry at me and has said many mean things. I do feel bad because my already struggling friend (I don’t even know if I can call her that anymore) is losing her income and possibly facing legal problems because of me.
But I really wanted to protect those people.
AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go To A Christian Church?
“I’m a Muslim woman and have recently moved in with my partner of three years who is Christian, we would have moved in sooner but the global crisis delayed this. Faith has never been a controversy between us with both of us happy to let the other worship as they please.
His family is devoutly Christian and they go to Church together as a family every Sunday and I’m happy they have this devotion they share.
We have discussed children of course and our decision is they will attend both Mosque and Church until they are old enough to make the decision on what they wish to worship if either.
All things considered, it’s a good arrangement that works out for us. The issue however is his family and now that we are living together my faith seems to finally be too much for them.
They invited me to attend Church with their family and are very much pushing for it, it makes me a little uncomfortable but I assumed they meant well and were trying to include me in something their family does so I told them I’d be happy to go with them if they come to the Mosque with me pointing out how our days of worship are different so there will be no conflict of timing also.
I figured if they were trying to share their faith with me I should do the same and even pointed out how we are very open to guests of other Faiths so it would be fine.
They said no stating that they cannot go to another religion’s place of worship as the bible states they cannot worship any false idols.
I was hurt by this as it implies my faith is fake compared to this but also they were clearly not understanding that I wasn’t asking them to worship I pointed this out but they still refused
I told them it didn’t feel right that I should be making all the concessions here.
They were angry and upset acting like I’d thrown their ‘Good Will’ back in their faces and pointed out how I needed to get used to going to church before I had children. I said that when I had children we’d of course go to church as a family but they should get used to going to the Mosque too as my children would be going there too.
This led to another fight this time with my partner and his family as they hadn’t known our future children could be Muslim and they didn’t like it one bit.
After they left my partner asked me if I’d just consider going to church to keep the peace as it won’t affect my faith at all.
I was hurt by this and asked why I have to be the one to keep the peace in this case I then asked why he hadn’t told his parents our children would be given the option to become Muslim. He admitted he was trying to avoid a fight.
I told him I’d only go to church if his family went to the Mosque and with an open mind at that and he said that wouldn’t happen to which I said he had his answer.
I do feel bad for putting my partner in the middle of this but my faith is important to me and I do not like it being treated like it’s a lesser thing.
Am I perhaps in the wrong? Should I just go to keep the peace even though they won’t meet me halfway?”
29. AITJ For Telling My Partner Not To Share Embarrassing Stuff At A Company Dinner Party?
“My partner had a kinda rough upbringing and now she turned out really successful. She’s also probably the most self-confident and self-assured person I know. Which I really admire, but just once in a while she says stuff that’s socially uncomfortable.
For example, we were going to dinner and my friend kept apologizing for her messy car. My partner said ‘Girl, I grew up in a hoarder house and I’m in the middle of shoveling crap out of that house, there’s nothing on earth that could disgust me anymore!’
And while that’s true, it was kinda an uncomfortable overshare.
Another time, her coworker was talking about how their kid was really shy and she didn’t know how to help. My partner was like ‘Give her time, I’m sure she’ll grow into herself. I didn’t talk to anyone in school, literally like I had no friends if you’ll believe it!’
One last time, my partner and I were at a networking event, and one of my coworkers joked about how my partner should enjoy grabbing thirds of food when she’s young because she can’t eat like that forever. Without missing a beat, she said ‘Oh, I don’t think about food restriction like that anymore, it’s an eating disorder trigger!
Anyway, I’m trying to bulk up.’
Anyway, we had a big argument about it. We were invited to a dinner at my company’s CEO’s house this coming weekend along with a few peers.
I asked her to not share anything uncomfortable there. She asked what I meant and I gave her the same examples.
I told her that that kinda shamelessness about stuff most people find shameful is awkward.
She was like ‘But it’s not really shameful? Like I got over that self-hating nonsense. And renovating and flipping a house? So many of your coworkers talk about that.’
I said it wasn’t the house flipping, it was the fact that it was her family home and it was a hoarder house. And it was weird to shamelessly talk about having no friends and an eating disorder.
She was like ‘That stuff is in the past, why would I be insecure now?’
I got exasperated and asked her to just not share stuff that most people would be embarrassed to say at the dinner. And she got angry and said that it sounded like I thought her whole life is embarrassing, so should she shut up?
I said no, just talk about current stuff.
Like you just got a promotion, traveled to Europe, and bought your dream car?
And she snapped at me ‘but I’m also still shoveling cat pee-stinking garbage every day, so it sounds like you’re just embarrassed of me. Screw you for saying I should have more shame.
I’m proud of myself, it sounds like you’re the one ashamed.’
I’m still worried about how this dinner party will go, and I’m questioning whether I messed up by saying something.
AITJ for asking my partner to not embarrass herself at a dinner party with my company’s CEO?”
28. AITJ For Eating My Ice Cream In Front Of A Crying Kid?
“I (25 F) had to travel to a city 6 hours away for college-related work. The trip was pretty tight. I had to leave on Thursday night by train and reached the city on Friday early morning, was engaged in work till the evening, and then take a train to get back home on Friday night itself.
When I got on the train at about 10 PM, I still hadn’t had dinner. I was exhausted. I happened to share my cabin on the train with a middle-aged woman and her toddler.
There were around 30 mins left for the train to start so I went out of the train, quickly got some snacks and ice cream, and got back to the cabin.
I decided to have the ice cream first because I didn’t want it to melt. The toddler saw it and started asking for it. I just looked at the mom and she goes ‘Give it to my son and buy yourself a new one’.
I was taken aback because she wasn’t even requesting, she was demanding. I was wayyy too exhausted to take any crap from anyone (old or young). I continued having the ice cream and told the woman ‘The shop is right there and they have all flavors’.
The toddler starts crying loudly and I plugged in headphones. The mom started yelling at me and said things like ‘You’re a brat’, ‘You’re heartless for doing this to a child’, ‘You’re trying to make me miss the train’ and other things I couldn’t hear because I put the music in full volume.
I did not feel guilty about finishing the ice cream in front of a crying toddler because I was really mad at the moment.
I am not gonna lie, I felt bad for the kid sometime later and thought of offering him some chips but I didn’t want to engage in any form of conversation with the mom.
The remainder of the journey was in utter silence.
I told my partner about this after I came back home and he thinks it’s hilarious but my mom was not happy about this. She was more shocked than angry because I have always been great with kids and she couldn’t believe that I would do that to a kid even if the mom was annoying.
My mom guilt-tripped me so much that my ‘hangry’ state got the best of me.
So AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Letting An Old Woman Clean After My Fallen Tree Leaves?
“My wife and I are elated to have moved into our first house not too long ago. We have a medium(?) sized crepe myrtle tree that gets to be about 12 feet tall in the summer and blooms beautifully. The tree is located a couple of feet from the property line of my neighbor (we will call her Nancy).
Nancy (80 F) lives by herself. When I (34 M) first moved in she had a lot of negative things to say about the previous homeowners, one of which is that they did not ‘take care of their leaves.’ I didn’t think much of it because I do pick up the leaves off my lawn.
This past winter she asked me to trim my crepe myrtle, saying that it has not been trimmed in a couple of years. Being a new home owner I actually appreciated the advice because I did not know February is a good time to clip crepe myrtles.
Of course, this request in combination with a number of other things she has a problem with has made it so my wife and I try to avoid her (someone has called the HOA about our grass being too big and someone has called about a temporary greenhouse in my back yard).
So anyways, being the good millennial that I am, I watched a YouTube video on how to clip a crepe myrtle before clipping them.
Some time passes, but she confronts me again in the yard and she says that I need to trim the tree again, only this time it should be the way they are trimmed at the front of our neighborhood.
I am a little shocked to find that these trees have their branches trimmed off completely, down to the central trunk. Because I am now a crepe myrtle tree expert, I instantly recognized this as… CREPE MURDER. That’s when I realized she did not want the crepe myrtle to have big blooms, she wanted it to have as little bloom and leaves as possible because the leaves blow onto her property.
Nancy confronts me again and this time she seems angry, speaking in a forcedly nice Southern tone ‘I am an 80-year-old woman, and because you don’t take care of your leaves I have to deal with them. I had to pay someone to get the leaves up.
Your crepe myrtle last fall left leaves all over my property and now you won’t even trim it. On top of that, your oak leaves are all over my grass too.’ (points to oak leaves)
To be honest this caught me off guard but I did tell her that I’m not going to trim it and walked away.
I do rake the leaves off my grass in the fall, but leaves that fall in my garden/flower beds as well as pine needle sections I do not pick up, and because I am not meticulous with leaf removal, over time leaves do blow onto her grass.
I spoke with my other neighbors and they don’t care if leaves blow onto their property, but Nancy is an old woman and it wouldn’t be too hard to help her out.
Recently, the HOA president emailed me to say ‘I don’t think it would be unreasonable for you to pick up the leaves that fall on her property.’ So maybe I’m the jerk?”
26. AITJ For Giving My Family A Heads Up Whenever My Wife Is Having A Bad Day?
“I’m a father of 3 boys from ages 12 to 17 and a husband of one woman. My wife is an amazing woman with very few flaws. One of these again few flaws is her anger. When she’s not happy, she has a habit of kinda making everyone else’s days worse.
For example, if she has a bad day at work, I know it’s likely that I’ll get fussed at for something she usually doesn’t care about. For my boys, I know it’s rough as they really don’t want to argue with their mother. On previous bad days, my wife has gone off and overboard on our kids for small things such as leaving the toilet seat up or leaving a paper plate out.
To combat this, I made a group chat with all the boys that we call, ‘Bad Day Alert’. The way it works is that if one of us notices that my wife is not exactly having a good day and will make it our problem, we will simply text ‘BAD DAY’ into the chat so the others can prepare.
We also use it for just quick guy talk but its main purpose is to warn in case of a bad day. When we get a Bad Day alert, we do what we can to ensure that no one gets in trouble. It also gives me time to prepare to cook or pick up a dinner she really loves and take care of any chores that are typically hers.
That way she’s able to come home and just decompress from the bad day without lashing out at any of us.
My wife prior to recently was not aware of it. She did however find out. My sister-in-law recently moved in temporarily and my wife had a bad day.
My oldest son notified the rest of us. Our youngest son thought it would be smart to notify his aunt (he was right to do so, I just hadn’t thought about her). She questioned him about everything, and he spilled the beans. My sister-in-law told my wife and now she’s mad at me.
She says it’s wrong of me to do that because I’m essentially teaching our kids to treat her like an angry child. I protested that it was beneficial for all of us but she refused to hear it.
I really think I was doing a good thing for all by starting this.
AITJ?”
25. WIBTJ If I Leave More Inheritance To My Late Wife's Side?
“A few years ago, my (39 M) wife died in a car accident. At the time, we’d been together for 10 years and my nieces were 9 and 11.
We live an hour away from the town where the rest of my family lives, so while we were never the ‘drop in unexpectedly for a random hang’ uncle and aunt, we were there for every birthday, holiday, or school event we’d ever been invited to.
We eventually planned to adopt or foster kids ourselves, but until then thought of our nieces and nephews on both sides of the family as the next best thing.
After my wife died, my sister and brother-in-law came to the funeral without the kids, which I totally understand.
Dealing with death is a sensitive issue and I hold absolutely no judgment for my sister deciding not to bring her kids to a wake.
But the thing is, at the time and in the years since, neither niece has ever acknowledged my wife’s death, not even so much as a hug or an ‘I’m sorry’ the first time I saw them afterward.
My wife and I had been there for every birthday and holiday of both of their entire lives, and I was about the same age when my grandfather passed away and definitely knew what was going on. (For comparison, the younger niece/nephew on my late wife’s side at least text just to say hi on big anniversary dates, and the older ones are always coming by the house to hangout or offer help when I need to do something that requires a second set of hands)
All of this has been on my mind as I finally decided to make a will. I need to decide if I want to split everything equally between my two nieces and the four nieces/nephews on my late wife’s side, or specifically leave my wife’s premarital assets to her side of the family and split everything else.
Those assets would include a condo that was paid off before we ever met and a couple hundred K in her retirement accounts. I have no plans on doing anything with them myself other than continuing to use the condo as a rental property and letting the retirement accounts sit there.
I truly don’t know what she would have wanted but the fact that her family has been there for me more than my own is influencing my thought process.
So, WIBTJ for leaving more in my will to my late wife’s side of the family than my own because my nieces have never acknowledged the death of their aunt, or is this just kids being kids (and maybe my sister not helping them to process things)?”
24. AITJ For Exposing My Dad's Dark Secret To The Whole Family?
“My siblings (24 M, 22 F) and I (26 M) were raised by a single dad (45 M), our dad was great, he was loving, and caring and always put us first, because of this we never missed our deadbeat mom.
My dad even sacrificed his love life though, he never dated anyone.
My brother (24 M) disowned our dad around 3 years ago, for a reason I’d also disown him, to be honest. My brother found our dad and his then-partner (27 now) ‘doing it’, thus my brother got mad at my dad and cut him off, moved out of the house, and went to live with some friends.
No matter how hard my dad has tried to apologize, and reach out to him, my brother ignores him, my dad has suffered a lot ’cause of this and has gotten mad at us many times since my sister and I know where my brother lives (We’ve visited him a couple of times) and he demands we let him know, but we can’t because my brother threatens that if we ever tell him he’ll go no contact with us.
The thing is that this woman got pregnant with twins but she didn’t feel like being a mom so she left them to my dad, my dad tells everyone that he is raising his grandkids (he swears they are my brother’s but I’m sure they are his since my brother says he used protection).
The kids turned 2 a couple of days ago and he hosted a small party, so my uncle started asking about my brother (as the kids’ father since no one in the family knew what happened) so my dad started talking trash about my brother saying that he was an ungrateful son and a terrible father for leaving two kids behind (I think my dad is angry at my brother for not forgiving him) as everyone in the family sees my dad as an example for the sacrifices he did, they started talking trash about my brother.
I love my dad with my whole heart and I’d do anything for that man (I know all my siblings would) but he tried to portray my brother as a bad guy and I love my brother so I told him: ‘He wouldn’t have disowned you if you hadn’t slept with his girl and got her pregnant’.
Everyone looked at him and he tried to excuse his actions but everyone told him to shut up.
They’ve called my brother to apologize but my dad is angry at me, he says this is a family matter and I should’ve kept my mouth shut, my wife says I did the right thing but my sister is on my dad’s side.
So AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Not Speaking To My Roommate Because She Didn't Come To My Grandma's Funeral?
“My 95-year-old grandma just passed away last week, and we have her wake today and her funeral tomorrow. I currently live with 3 female roommates and consider them my closest friends.
I’ve known all my roommates for about 2 years. I get along with everyone pretty well except for my one roommate who we will call Kay. Kay is my age, black, and I’ve known her probably for the longest. She and I used to work at a retail store before living together but weren’t very close.
K recently has been keeping to herself. She pays rent on time but is usually never home and spends most of her time with her significant other. This bothers me a bit because I miss her, but I understand because she and her SO have been together for 4 years.
My grandma died last week Monday and when I texted everyone in our group chat they were all very kind and expressed their condolences but K took forever to respond, which peeved me a bit. That same day while we were at dinner I asked K if she could come to the funeral on Tuesday next week and she looked angry but said she would let me know later.
After dinner she texted me saying she couldn’t come to the funeral because it was during her work hours. She explained that since she is an intern she can’t take off randomly because she wants to impress them and receive a full-time offer.
She also said she felt uncomfortable going because she didn’t know my grandma at all and felt it was disrespectful to go. She said she would come to the wake since it was after work but I told her not to bother and haven’t spoken to her since.
My therapist said I should apologize to her but I disagree. My other roommates are going to the funeral & have only met my grandma once.”
22. AITJ For Not Telling My Significant Other The Truth Regarding Her Weight?
“My significant other (20 f) Lia (2 years) has recently lost a crazy amount of weight.
She looks amazing and is far more confident than she used to be. She was on the heavier side when I (22 m) first met her, but I never cared about that. I’m not going to say how weight she was before or how much she lost, but it took her over a year to get to her goal weight.
My SO has always been self-conscious about her body, and seeing her happier is nice.
Lia has a ‘friend,’ Jesse (19 f). They have been friends since high school. Jesse is kind of mean to Lia, and I never understood why they are friends. She and Lia fight constantly.
They stop talking for months and then make up later. It seems like that’s all they do is argue. But I stay out of it unless Lia gets upset. I’ve kicked Jesse out of my apartment (I live alone) once or twice due to Jesse being horrible.
She has been rude to me as well. I banned Jesse from my place because Jesse made fun of my (mild) ADHD and autism.
She told me to bark at squirrels in the trees once and called me the R-word several times in front of Lia (she laughed).
I asked her (Jesse) to leave.
My SO and I don’t live together, but Lia stays at my place often over the weekends. She has her own key. Anyway, I got home from work, and I found Lia crying in my bed. I asked her, ‘What’s wrong?’.
Lia yelled at me for not telling her she had stretch marks on her stomach and her belly is flabby. I was confused and asked her what she meant.
She and Jesse were trying on swimsuits. My SO’s b-day is coming soon, and she’s planning to go to the beach for it.
Lia tried on a bikini, and she got excited because she would never do this when she was more bigger and would wear a one-piece. Jesse just took one look at Lia and said, ‘I’m surprised your SO sleeps with you with those stretch marks?
He must be the R-word, or he probably had a side chick when you were still a fat piece of work’. The store was busy, and Jesse said it pretty loud. People stared.
Lia said nothing and quietly cried in the fitting room as she changed back into her clothes.
She didn’t buy anything and took a Uber to my place since we made plans for later that day.
She told me I was a jerk. I should have said to her that she still looks fat. I didn’t notice the marks, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be told her still.
What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey babe, you’re really fat.’ I don’t think that’s a very nice way to speak to your partner. I told her she was beautiful. I would take her shopping if she wanted to. My attempt to calm her down failed because she got mad at me for lying to her when she’s a fat pig still.
I said bluntly, she’s not, but she needs better friends. Jesse sucks.
A huge fight between us started, and she bailed on the plans to go home. She has completely ghosted me. I haven’t apologized because I don’t think anything wrong I did.
I’m not always great with social cues, but did I break some weird unwritten rule? Am I the jerk?”
21. AITJ For Being Snarky With A Customer While I'm Off-Duty?
“I am the hostess at a restaurant. We are open until 3 pm and then we close for 2 hours to do turn-over service before dinner at 5 pm. Between 3 and 5 you can sit at the bar and have a small menu of appetizer items.
On Memorial Day, which was a horrifically busy day, I and my seater hostess got to 3 pm, and with relief, we flipped our sign over from ‘open’ to ‘see bartender between 3-5 pm’.
We had a reservation at 2 pm that never showed up. We sent texts from OpenTable on our iPad, I tried to call twice, no response. Our restaurant policy is to hold the reservation for 15 minutes and then no-show the guest, and that is what I did.
In fact, we gave the party an extra ten minutes knowing how hectic Mem. Day is.
At 3:05 pm this party comes into the restaurant as we’re getting our stuff together. From the get-go, they are rude and demanding. When I told them we were closed and they could have the bar they got even more rude.
Eventually, they went outside, took one of my tables anyway, and demanded a server. I found out from the server that the guest is a VIP, part of a club our restaurant has. I’ve never seen this woman in my life. My manager didn’t care and did not give satisfactory management for this situation and I went home dissatisfied. The customer left a review on OpenTable in which she lied and said I was rude, belligerent, and unaccommodating.
I was nothing but polite to her.
Anyway, I was at the doctor yesterday and she was in the waiting room, too. Kept looking at me. Outside of work, I dress down as opposed to make-up and hair and nice clothes for work. She finally asked if she knew me, I said I didn’t think so, she said her name and asked if I recognized it because she could swear she knew me.
I just politely said no, I didn’t recognize her.
Right before my doctor called me back she said, ‘I remember, oh…’, and gave me a dirty look. I just smiled and said, ‘Yeah, maybe now you know why I was trying to pretend otherwise because having a conversation with the lady who lied about me on OpenTable for simply doing my job isn’t something I want to do when sitting in the cardiologist’s office trying to find out what’s wrong with me.’
Then the doctor called me back and I walked away from her. She called my restaurant and complained about me to them. My manager wants a meeting tomorrow.
Was I the jerk?”
20. AITJ For Taking Some Of My Dad's Ashes?
“I (17 F) lost my Dad to cancer when I was 13. Being so young at the time, I wasn’t given the opportunity to keep any of his things/ashes, etc. My Dad also didn’t leave anything to me for the future, like letters or milestone gifts – so when he passed away he was just gone and that was that.
When I was born (2004), my Dad purchased 10 bottles of red wine made that year – to drink on special occasions. He opened one on the day I was born, my first birthday, and my first day of school. By the time I was 6, there were only 3 left, as one had been stolen and 3 broke during an earthquake.
My Dad was diagnosed with cancer in November 2017. My parents had never been interested in marriage, however with his terminal diagnosis, they ended up marrying in February 2018 and opened another bottle for the occasion. Unfortunately on the same night, someone accidentally opened and drank the 9th bottle.
My Dad passed away in March 2018 and by that point, I hadn’t had a chance to have any of the wine due to my age – and there was only one bottle left.
Fast forward to May 2022, my Dads best friend was turning 60. My Mum wanted to give him the last bottle as she said it was a significant age and the wine would be going off soon.
Keep in mind I turn 18 in July 2022. When I found out Mum wanted to give the bottle away, I argued with her and said that I should be given the bottle for my 18th as they were bought for MY birth year. She didn’t listen and kept reiterating how the bottle was going to ‘go off’, despite there being less than 3 months between our birthdays.
No matter how much I protested and cried, she gave it away. It honestly broke me, it was the one thing I was looking forward to as I honestly just assumed it would be gifted to me for my 18th. I was so upset that I officially had nothing of my Dad’s.
To finally have something of his, I took a little bit of his ashes from my Mum’s urn thing and sent them away to be put in a necklace. I had asked for some of the ashes previously and Mum had said no each time, stating that they were hers and it’s all she had of him.
When she found out I had taken some, she went absolutely crazy at me. Started cussing me out, saying I was the most selfish child and she was ashamed of how I had turned out. I didn’t expect her to be so upset to say those things – I thought I deserved at least something of his and that it was unfair she kept everything for herself.
Afterward, I started getting messages from SO many people, asking how could I do such a thing to my Mum after everything she’s been through.
I’m now thinking that maybe I was in the wrong, despite taking such a minuscule amount of the ashes (when she had his whole body in there).
After not being given anything of my Dad’s and the last bottle of his wine not being left for me either, I was desperate to have something to remember him by and thought the ashes in a necklace was a nice way to honor him – but AITJ for doing so, when my Mum made it clear I wasn’t welcome to any?”
19. AITJ For Going Home After My Husband Spilled Wine On My Dress?
“I would like to start and say that my (F 29) husband (M 35) comes from a well-off family and most of his friends are well off as well. Unlike me and my family, we come from a humble, working class and don’t own a lot of assets like my in-laws do.
My husband cares about appearances. At first, he didn’t try to control how I look, but did buy me things he said I’d love but nothing was my style really. After marriage, he sat with me telling me I get 100% to choose how I look except when I’m with him or his family and introduced me to brands to choose my new clothes from and I started wearing them whenever I’m with his family and friends.
Although it limited my choice of what to wear because I’m more into simple things.
For his friend’s birthday which was celebrated at an upscale restaurant, my husband bought me a $300, dress to wear for the occasion but I didn’t like many things about it.
I told him I’d just wear my $60 floral maxi dress. He didn’t think it was a good idea and said I was violating the ‘rules’ he gave after we got married but I said the dress he bought wasn’t my style. I said I either wear my dress or not go.
He said fine then whatever but still wasn’t happy.
We got to the restaurant and no one said anything about my dress (except his other friend who said I looked great). After dinner, my husband moved quickly and spilled wine all over my chest and lap.
He freaked out and said that he thankfully had a replacement then pulled out the $300 he previously wanted me to wear out of the bag. This whole time I couldn’t help but think he deliberately spilled the wine on my floral dress to force me into wearing the other dress.
He handed me the dress and told me to go change.
I got up but instead of going to the restroom, I made my way to the door. He asked me to wait but I kept walking while opening my phone to get an Uber to get me home.
I stood outside and started arguing with him, he said he didn’t get why I was behaving like this and embarrassing both him and myself like that. I said that he looked down at my dress and tried to trick me into wearing what he wanted by spilling wine on me.
He told me to go back inside but I said I won’t move til my Uber arrived. He threw a fit calling me an embarrassment and stood there till I left.
At home, he went off saying I could’ve worn the dress and not made a scene, and then double down and walk out.
again, I said he disrespected my choices and implied I was an embarrassment. He said he was just calling a spade a spade and I should quit acting so insensitive and getting offended over nothing.
He said I made a joke out of him in front of his friends and one of them (the one who complimented my dress, and the one who constantly tries to video chat with me whenever he sees me online) tried to call me but I didn’t respond because he made me feel uncomfortable.
AITJ? Did I handle this right?”
18. AITJ For Considering Suing My Mother For Using My Money For Her Plastic Surgery?
“I (19 F) got a job at 15 and started my own college fund because I had been told by my mom (45 f) since I was young that she would NOT pay for my college for me and that I’m on my own.
My mom helped me set up a bank account that I would not have access to until college, and the majority of my paycheques went into it.
I wasn’t working full time so I didn’t make bank. But I had a good chunk, enough that I was feeling secure. I’d still need some loans but not nearly as much.
A while ago my mom mentioned a bonus she got at work, and told me she was thinking of getting some ‘work done.’
I supported her because I don’t care what she does to her body.
Recently, she got it all done. Botox, fillers, breast augmentation, and like 5 sessions of this body sculpting thing.
Yesterday I heard from a few colleges I got accepted to, and my mom got very quiet and admitted to using my funds for her plastic surgery.
I lost it, and I told her I was going to explore my legal options, I said I wasn’t responsible for funding her surgery and that I was moving out within the next week because she violated me and stole from me.
She tried to fight it but I ended up leaving and going to my friends.
My father and extended family keep calling and texting me and saying it’s not a big deal. They keep saying I can just take out student loans. My dad said my mom raised me, and I live at home rent-free, so I pretty much owe her.
But I think I worked hard to get my money and I should sue my mom if I can. But maybe I’m just being stubborn? AITJ?
EDIT: I meant I live with a reduced rate of rent not rent-free, so sorry for that.”
17. AITJ For Giving My Mother-In-Law 30 Days To Leave My House?
“I am a single father to a 1-year-old girl (Mary).
My wife died due to complications late in her pregnancy and Mary was delivered at 33 weeks. My MIL Kat has lived with me in the year since and was a great help. My wife’s sisters were also frequently over but the most involved was Jackie.
There was a blowup with Jackie at M’s birthday party end of April where she accused me and my current (new) significant other of having an affair before my wife passed (untrue, we were work colleagues) and some heated words were exchanged.
Then on Mother’s day 2 of my SILs came over to do some celebration things with MIL and M.
They got to talking and indicated that they felt it would be best for MIL to move out (because she’s getting older) and that Jackie would move in and help with M. I said that wasn’t going to happen, and they said she needed a mother and Jackie would fill that role.
I told them NOBODY would fill that role in M’s life unless she decided with her heart to love someone like a mother. I asked Jackie if that was why she was around so much and went off on my SO Em but she didn’t answer (They don’t like Em for a lot of reasons, one being she’s 12 years younger than me and another being she’s catholic and not evangelical).
Jackie just said that as long as MIL lived there she would keep coming over and I couldn’t stop her.
I (unfortunately) got pretty furious and grabbed a notepad and wrote ‘MIL – You have 30 days to vacate’ and signed it, took a picture, and gave it to her.
That pretty much ended the day. Since then MIL has been quiet (she understands why I’m upset but can’t go against her daughters) but the daughters are blowing up my phone (Jackie is blocked) that MIL has nowhere to go to which I said ‘I thought she was going to move out anyway.’ I’m trying to stay the course (I’ll have M over the summer and have daycare lined up by fall).
But they’re telling me that I can’t kick her out and I can’t deprive M of female family connections. So, AITJ?
Edit: The main reason I felt my MIL can’t live here anymore is that I’d already banned Jackie but she feels she can use MIL as an excuse to come over and see my daughter whenever she wants, and MIL refuses to set a boundary with her.
Edit 2: To clarify timeline:
1. Met my current SO ‘Em’ at old school, she was a student teacher but not MY student teacher. I gave her advice and mentored her for about 3 months. Strictly professional.
2. I left that school and went to my current school where my wife also worked.
3. Baby & Tragedy happened during that first school year, I took leave.
4. Came back from leave the next fall, and discovered Em now worked at my new school (starting a year after I started there).
5. She was sympathetic, we began talking about six months after my wife passed.”
16. AITJ For Embarrassing My Stepmom For Insulting Me For Proposing?
“I was born into a pretty patriarchal country. I moved to the US at 12 and my dad has always been pretty liberal, but I witnessed some weird stuff growing up.
My father is very wealthy and always had trophy women and was a huge womanizer before he married his current wife ‘Leila’. When he met Leila she was married with 2 kids and her husband owed him a lot of money. He said my dad could date and sleep with Leila if he forgave the debt.
Leila immediately was talking about marriage, how she would be the perfect wife, and she was beyond obsessed with my dad’s money, like walking around the house touching things and giggling, and playing dress up with my mom’s jewelry. He ended up leaving my mom for her.
I do think he really loves her, like I hate it and it grosses me out, but he was just suddenly happy all the time. Sill Leila definitely begged him to marry her.
I recently got engaged to my long-term partner. I am the one who proposed because well I got sick of waiting and he is awful at that stuff anyway.
We had a family dinner to celebrate and Leila was making jokes about how weird America is, why would I propose, that is so unromantic, blah blah blah. To be fair it wasn’t just her, my siblings were joining in
I told her to stop.
I told my dad to make her stop, but my dad always has the attitude that we are mean to Leila, so it is fine. Finally, I announced to the table that Leila begged my dad to marry her, begged to the point everyone was laughing at her even him, so she shouldn’t be talking.
Leila began to cry and stormed off. My dad yelled at me about how I had no idea what I’m talking about and that no one can make him do anything. He wouldn’t have married her if he didn’t want to. Leila refused to come back because she thinks my future in-laws think that my dad didn’t love her.
Now I might be a bit of a jerk because I know all of her self-image is wrapped up in being the perfect wife and him loving her. My dad is still furious with me.”
15. AITJ For Bringing A Cake With A Wrong Name?
“My (26 F) sister Bella (32 F) is getting married next month to Charlie (43 M).
It’s about a month out from the wedding and we’re pretty much putting finishing touches on everything. The wedding is very extravagant and my parents paid for most of it – I organized things like catering, photographers, etc. Now I’m not trying to complain, I’m very happy for my sister and happy to help her in whatever way possible, but I’m getting quite exhausted from the whole thing.
I’ve taken time off from work, given up on outings with friends, and even canceled date nights with my husband to get everything ready for this wedding. Bella is busy with her dress fitting, it’s custom made so there are a lot of trips and whatnot and arranging things for her bridesmaids.
Bella had her bachelorette party recently and ordered a cake for it. She asked me to pick it up – not a big deal because the bakery is 5 minutes from my house and I can get it on the way. So I pick up the cake and arrive at the venue.
The cake was in a pink box, so I couldn’t see inside and I didn’t bother opening it up to look. I’m at the party, and everything’s fine, but then my sister calls me up into the kitchen. She opened the cake and the bakery wrote the wrong name on top, say for example instead of ‘Bella’s Party’, they wrote ‘Jessica’s Party’.
Oh well, mistakes happen but she went off at me, saying I should’ve checked before I brought it. I didn’t want to argue with her so I just said maybe she can cover it with sprinkles or something, but Bella said that would ruin the look of the cake.
At this point, my mom showed up with snacks and things and she saw the cake. I said it’s not my fault the bakery wrote the wrong name, but she just said I should’ve looked at it while I was there and they could’ve fixed it.
At this point, I had enough and snapped at both of them, saying I worked my butt off for a wedding that wasn’t even mine and I can’t look after everything while Bella sits back doing nothing. Bella got super defensive and said that she wasn’t doing nothing, the wedding is very stressful and she’s got to organize everything.
I laughed and said what is she doing? I’m organizing a large portion of things and our parents are paying for most of it, and she should be grateful she has family who cares about her enough to put up with her nonsense. She started crying and I walked out of the party (I just said something came up at work if anyone asked).
My mom later called me and said I was being a bad sister for making Bella cry at her bachelorette. I repeated what I said, that I sacrificed a lot for this when my mom just said that ‘everyone’s doing a lot’ and that ‘I should be more understanding’.
I just told her I’m done with this nonsense, I’m probably not gonna show up at the wedding and I hope Bella has a great time on her big day. My mom said ‘I was being disappointing’ and hung up. Now I’m thinking if I went too far with what I said, not just to my mom but to Bella at her bachelorette party and making her cry.
AITJ?
Edit: My mom and Bella have just been piling things on me to do for the wedding. As I said, I didn’t mind, but it’s gotten to a point where I’m more of a servant than anything else. I’ve actually already said no to quite a few things, but not without a huge guilt trip from them, and even when I try to talk to them about it they basically have one thing to say, that I should be more understanding and be there for Bella.
My parents are paying for like, 90% of the wedding when the only thing they paid for at mine was my shoes and purse. Now I didn’t ask nor expect them to pay at my wedding, so it’s not a fair comparison I’ll admit but they’re bending their backs catering to her every demand.
And the cherry on top is that my husband went to the same college as her, and she had a crush on him and accused me of ‘stealing her love’ when we got together. (I had no idea that she liked him nor did he even know her outside of a couple of mutual friends because he was a year younger).
She didn’t attend my wedding. This was all a few years back and mostly been settled down now, but I think I just let my built-up rage get the better of me when I snapped.”
14. AITJ For Using My Son's Camp Savings To Pay For The Damages On His Stepbrother's Car?
“My stepson (19) got a new car from his bio mom. She and her family are well off and unlike me, they could afford to buy a car. I’m happy for my stepson but my son (17) isn’t. In fact, he complains about how unfair it is for my husband to let his ex gift their son a car but not him.
It’s unreasonable I know! but teenage years are mostly hard and it’s even harder to expect the kids to be reasonable.
My son wanted to take part in driving the car as a ‘compromise’ or else we would have to get rid of it. I sat him down to explain to him that the car is his stepbrother’s property, and he shouldn’t be expecting to drive it unless he was given permission.
He was having non of it and kept giving us ultimatums saying he either share the car with his stepbrother or the car goes. When my husband confronted him, my son went and did so much damage to the car, he threw paint on it, ruined the lights, and damaged the front of it completely.
My stepson had a breakdown when he saw it in the morning and my husband was beyond livid after seeing the footage from our driveway cam and seeing my son damaging the car.
My husband confronted my son later and all my son did was laugh and give him the middle finger.
I went to take all of his camp savings for this summer to pay for the damages and gave them to my husband. My son found out and went crazy on everyone in the house. He accused me of stealing and trying to please my husband to sleep with me then told his stepbrother that he warned him and so he shouldn’t be blamed. He also said it was my fault for not getting him a car or getting my husband to get him a car in the first place to avoid favoritism and conflict.
He’s been spending the majority of his time in his room refusing to come out or eat anything. I’m worried about him not eating because he did this once and ended up in the hospital for low b***d pressure.”
13. AITJ For Having My Baby Sleep Next To Me While I Watch Something On TV?
“My husband and I became parents in March, and we decided I’d take maternity leave and become a stay-at-home mom for the rest of the year. He’s a great husband and father, and we have a pretty even division of labor when he’s home.
Now I love my baby, but at this age, they aren’t that fun and mostly sleep. I received a Moses basket at my baby shower, so often she’ll be in there sleeping instead of in our room since I prefer her being closer and she sleeps well in it.
When I’m folding laundry, I’ll do it in my living room and watch tv while I do so. I always keep it low and have subtitles on as well to not wake our baby, and honestly, it gives me some ‘me time’ while also doing something I have to do.
I’m currently catching up on the most recent season of SVU. I’m also a big reader and our pediatrician told us reading to babies from birth is important, so often I’ll just read out loud whatever book I’m reading.
One afternoon, I was folding laundry while our baby was sleeping next to me, and my husband surprised us by coming home early with dinner.
He came in happy but kinda deflated once seeing what was on the tv before turning it off. He asked why I was watching that in front of our kid and said it was extremely inappropriate due to the content and that I should know not to expose her to that kind of content.
I felt awful since I didn’t want to harm her in any way and so I agreed to stop.
We had an appointment with her pediatrician and I asked her about our situation. She calmed me down, told me I was doing a great job, and that at this age our baby didn’t care and wasn’t being harmed or negatively impacted. She even encouraged me to keep reading to her as much as I was since it was beneficial and the content wasn’t too important at this stage.
She obviously told me that as she gets older, it obviously wouldn’t be appropriate but currently, there was no harm. I told my husband this but he didn’t change his mind and was disappointed that I didn’t care about his opinion and wanted to keep doing it.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Not Paying The $15 Back?
“So I (23 M) had been talking to a girl, let’s call her Ann (19 F) for around two months, things were going well so we decided to go on a date. Ann is quite busy so it took some time to find a day where she was completely free.
There was a two-hour train distance between us, which cost about 35 USD each way. We planned both arrival and departure times since Ann lives with her parents and staying over wasn’t realistic and she didn’t want to visit my bumpkin area of the country for no particular reason (in hindsight she probably just didn’t wanna bother).
Due to how train tickets work in my country you have to buy them early on to get the cheapest tickets and they are non-refundable. Therefore I had to buy both tickets at the same time for the best deal.
I arrive and we walk around town when Ann suddenly gets a call and answers it, I was kinda surprised that she answered it and didn’t mention to the caller that she was busy, but whatever, just one call right?
Except it happens again, and again… and I’m not kidding Ann takes 6 (Yes, I counted) full calls throughout the date, all about very minor work stuff on her supposed day off and it just ruins the atmosphere. I don’t confront Ann about it because I’m sort of trapped two hours away from home and don’t want to turn the mood sour while I’m there anyway.
During the date we eat and drink at various places both paying for our own stuff, except for one instance where Ann buys a 15 USD meal for each of us (without me asking her to pay or order for me).
About 3/4 through the date we talk about how we’re feeling and we both admit that we aren’t really into each other and the feeling just isn’t there.
This resulted in me being sent home early (Ann literally waited with me at the train station to make sure I went home, again without me asking for her to do that) as such I also had to buy an additional 45 USD train ticket for the trip home, all in all I paid 115 USD for transport only.
The problem begins the following morning when Ann starts hustling me for the 15 bucks for the meal, I ghost her as this is pretty ridiculous with how disrespectful she was of my time and money, in response she berates me and I consequently block her.
AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Giving My Mom A Fake Passcode?
“My uncle and my mom have been arguing over this, and I feel terrible. I don’t know what to think.
So, my mom let me get anything under 25$ to Easter, given it’s on Amazon. I got a small mini ‘atm’ of sorts. It has a 4-digit passcode and makes noise when someone attempts to open it and even louder if you fail.
Plus it automatically sucks in your money, like an ATM would.
I had been looking at this for a while, saving up my allowance and planning to get it. Since it was under the price range, so I asked and she got it for me.
It came in yesterday, and I put the batteries in, set the code, and already put the funds I had in it (I get a 10-dollar allowance, and if I do certain tasks I get an extra 10-20 dollars.) Which is only about 10 bucks right now.
My mom asked for the passcode, which frankly I thought was a joke, so I told her a fake one. I just thought it was her messing with me and trying to get me to laugh.
She came home today and did her inspection of my room.
(I have been spending the past few days working on the rest of the house, so haven’t gotten a chance to). I didn’t think she would try anything, so I continued making myself some sandwiches for a late brunch. It was 10 AM, and I couldn’t care less.
Then I heard the noise it made when you failed the passcode, I tested it the night prior just in case, and rushed to my room. What I see is my mom trying to get into it, then turned to me and glared. ‘You told me the passcode was 1234!
Why isn’t it working?!’ I was confused and taken aback. Like, who expects this from their mom?
I got upset as well and yelled at her to get the f out of my room and away from my money! She left in a huff, and when my uncle came home he got his ear talked (practically yelled) off for it.
He says I shouldn’t have lied, but I didn’t have to give her the passcode.
Now those two are arguing and I feel really bad for causing it. AITJ?”
10. WIBTJ If I Ask My Mother To Deleted A Fake Review She Made Under My Name?
“My mom wrote a book about parenting when I was about 17, with some personal narratives and advice in it – think ‘battle hymn of the tiger mother’ type of stuff. Today I went to look at its Amazon reviews out of curiosity, and found a review under my name from 2014, praising the book and the views expressed within it.
I did not write this review. My mother and I have had an incredibly fraught relationship since I was a teenager, and several of the parenting ‘techniques’ that this book and the review praise are part of the reason that we barely talk, including her obsession with controlling my s*******y, weight, and gender presentation.
I know this is a fake review written by her because:
1. While it’s only under a first name, it’s my deadname (I’m trans). This name is extremely uncommon and I have never met or heard of another person who shares the same name with the same spelling.
2. The username for the review is Name_1 and that user has no other reviews.
3. The review is basically just the blurb on the back of the book, with some compliments thrown in. It’s a very transparently ‘written by the author’ review.
4. The review was posted within 3 days of the book being listed on Amazon.
I feel extremely uncomfortable with this review remaining up, and I’m insulted by the fact that she thought it was appropriate to just use my name to review a book praising her for her abusive behaviors, but I know that if I bring it up to my mother it will cause a MASSIVE fight as she’ll immediately ask me if I really hated her parenting style that much, and I don’t want to cause more tension than we already have.
WIBTJ for asking her to take it down?
I think I might be the jerk because the review is from 2014 and isn’t hurting anybody, I still went by my deadname back then, and I don’t want to start a huge fight over something so insignificant.”
9. AITJ For Getting A Professional Wedding Planner?
“I (26 f) am getting married to my fiancé (27 m) on June 24 of next year. We have done a few things on planning it but it’s very stressful and we both work full time, plus I’m in Grad school, so we just don’t have the time.
Well, I called my mom about 2 weeks ago and mentioned how hard planning a wedding was and she told me that we should invest in a wedding planner (Duh! I can’t believe we forgot these exist), she also said she could recommend one to us but I told her I’d have to talk with my fiancé about our budget and we’ll see.
Then we talked about other stuff and that was pretty much how it went. Well, my fiancé and I have talked with a few wedding planners since that call and found the perfect match for us. She’s been so great and so helpful and I’m so thankful for her.
I talked with my mom a few days ago and told her we found a wedding planner and thanked her for her advice. Well, my mom told me that she was trying to nudge me to hire my sister (29 F) as she’s just getting into the wedding planner business and that’s what her recommendation was for.
Now I love my sister and think she’s great, but I also know my sister and she’s not great at staying with jobs. She was not good at ‘taking orders’ and quit stable jobs, she started a resin business that didn’t take off and she didn’t want to market for it, she got caught into a pyramid scheme which she barely got out of (my parents paid it off), and the last time I heard (2 months ago) she was trying to be a nail technician.
I told my mom that I love my sister but I want a professional to do my wedding. Well, come to find out that my mom had me on speaker phone and my sister was in the room with her.
This led to my sister grabbing the phone from my mom and telling me I’m a stuck-up jerk and that I’m pretentious I need to get off my high horse and other things.
When my mom finally took the phone back (with my sister still yelling) she told me that I was being mean and unfair and that I should give my sister a chance, to which I said no again because her attitude to rejection just solidified my opinion.
My mom told me I was being judgmental and that she wouldn’t answer my calls until I apologize to my sister and hire her to plan my wedding. My fiancé is obviously on my side but my dad said I should at least apologize, AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Leaving A Note At My Neighbor's Door That Says "We're Exhausted"?
“My partner (24 F) and I (27 F) live in a townhome (with shared walls) in a quiet neighborhood. We absolutely love the people in this community and haven’t had issues until… some new neighbors moved in next door.
The first issue occurred as soon as they bought the townhome.
Before even seeing their faces, I was violently awoken by the sound of someone beating against my bedroom with tools at the crack of dawn. Come to find out they were renovating (without telling anyone) the home and the noise continued from 7 am – 6 pm for a month straight.
Mind you, we work from home.
We tried to be understanding during the renovations, but then the parties began. These were not small get-togethers on the weekends, these were full-blown parties on odd days of the week (like Mondays or Wednesdays). We could feel the bass coming through the entire home, and outside was just as bad.
This is when we started to notice that the noise wasn’t only impacting us.
They had a party so loud on a Monday night that you could see and hear people angry with them. The cops got called that night and shut the party down, which we thought was crazy because we DIDN’T call them.
We talked to the neighbor on the other side of their wall and although he said he could also hear it through his house, he also didn’t call which left us wondering, who called if it wasn’t us on either side of them.
That’s how we know this issue is pretty bad.
We went over it a couple of times after because the issue continued. They would brush it off or make rude comments like ‘Well we should just move out of the neighborhood then’, so it seems like nothing is helping.
Fast forward to the present day, over the past couple of months, a new issue has persisted which has been disturbing both my partner and me and the other neighbor that shares a wall with them. At 5 am every morning, we can feel our walls shaking and can even hear them yelling sometimes through the house.
Mind you, the previous neighbor who lived there was a college student who constantly had friends over and we NEVER heard him.
At this point, my partner is now fed up with being shaken out of her sleep daily until they leave which is like 8 am.
Imagine not being able to sleep for that long because it sounds like someone is running through your house. Today was the last straw and we wrote them a letter stating they need to figure it out and that we are tired of the lack of consideration.
We ended it by saying ‘We’re exhausted’.
I can admit that we cursed at them in the letter and maybe it wasn’t a good way to approach it, but we’ve exhausted our options. AITJ for leaving them a rude letter and possibly ruining their day?
Edit: I forgot to mention, we have actually tried hitting the wall (at 5:30 am) to notify them they’re being disturbing and they’ll stop, but just continue the next day, so we realized this also doesn’t work. It feels like we’ve tried everything possible.”
7. AITJ For Moving My Daughter's Pet Rabbit Outside?
“I am a widower. My first wife passed away 6 years ago from cancer. A few years after she passed, I reconnected with a former significant other of mine (We ended the relationship amicably, but lost touch over the years).
We started going out again, albeit long-distance, and we married this past January and moved in together this February.
There has been a major hiccup in all of this though. My daughter has a pet rabbit, she has had him for almost 5 years now. His name is Basil.
Basil lives in my daughter’s room and currently enjoys a lot of space: we converted her walk-in closet into a bunny pad, he is litter trained and she often lets him run around the house supervised. He honestly is more like a cat than what you would think a pet rabbit would be like.
She has a little ramp for him to get on and off her bed and he will follow her around the house and everything.
Unfortunately, it seems my stepson is HIGHLY allergic to rabbits. It seems to be a pretty severe allergy. We’ve gone to doctors to try medicine, we tried banning Basil from the common areas of the house, and had everything professionally cleaned. No dice on any of it.
Just walking down the hallway past my daughter’s room causes my stepson’s eyes to swell and his throat starts to close.
My stepson and wife are currently living in a hotel until we can make the house safe for him.
I told my daughter we will have to move Basil outside because his living indoors just isn’t safe for her stepbrother.
She is, understandably, very upset about this. I’ve tried to involve her in picking out and building an appropriate setup for Basil but she absolutely refuses to do so. She is mostly not talking to me, and when she is it is screaming, crying, and saying every hurtful thing she can think up towards me.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Causing My Roommate To Lose Her Scholarship Over A Necklace?
“I’m (17 F) a student in my first year of university and have lived with my roommate Jen (19 F) for a few months now, we’re both in pre-law.
I know that she’s had a tough life as a foster kid and has worked hard to earn an academic scholarship. She thinks I’m a stuck-up bourgeois rich girl, so in passing we are cordial to each other but not close.
Recently we had a conflict because I landed one of a few highly coveted internship spots.
I acknowledge that I had an advantage because I asked my mom to help prepare and go over professional behavior during interviews. Jen berated me for almost an hour (told me that this is why the French guillotined the rich) and physically blocked me from leaving the room when I tried to de-escalate.
I called my parents to let them know that I wanted a room switch, but we made a decision not to report her behavior because it may impact her scholarship and we wouldn’t be living together anymore.
Before I moved, I noticed that my necklace disappeared from my jewelry box after I came back from the gym.
I freaked out because it has huge sentimental value to me – it’s the first-anniversary necklace my dad bought my mom after they paid off their student loans and has a distinctive engraving in the back. I suspect my roommate took it but once again I was berated for accusing her because I thought poor people had no morals, which isn’t true.
I suspect her because she was the only one in the room who could’ve taken it!
I had a lot of anxiety telling my mom about this because I didn’t want her to think I’m not being responsible with my things. Mom’s assistant tracked down the necklace to a local pawn shop and the payout was linked to Jen’s school email.
Mom once told me that her corporate lawyer persona is ‘my ego is bigger than yours’ and things escalated really quickly after she sent a strongly worded letter to the dean with the evidence and questioned the integrity bar they had for pre-law students. Jen has been suspended for the quarter and last I heard her academic scholarship has been revoked.
I’m feeling really guilty because I think I may have robbed Jen of an opportunity in life, over what at the end of the day is just a necklace. I’m not sure it was worth it.
AITJ because I caused my roommate to lose her scholarship?”
5. AITJ For Uninviting My Mom From My Wedding?
“I (f 24) was born into a boy-mom family. The kind who worship their sons for their less-than-trashy behavior.
In my mom’s eyes, her king can do no wrong. She has always supported him in everything. He’s currently living with her but when I was 18 I was given a 3-week notice to leave. It took a while but now I’m very lucky to be more than financially stable and have my dream job.
I know it sounds so ungrateful of me but I’d trade everything I have for my mom’s love. The 6 figure job, my apartment, my money, literally all of it. My mom has done some bad things but in my home praise and affection were a luxury and I wanted it more than anything.
I have expressed this to my fiancé and he has told me it’s time to let my mom go but until the past weekend I never thought of considering it.
I was going dress shopping and decided to invite my mom so we could have some time to make a relationship.
But walking into the store I saw she brought my brother. The entire time she belittled me for my stick-like figure while helping my brother get a tuxedo. When we got home my mom asked me what was wrong with my face and so I let her have it.
I started going on about how she never treated me with any type of love or respect. That she had the audacity to ask me why my face looked the way it did like the years of gaslighting and fighting wouldn’t make my resting face appear angry.
I finished by telling her that she and my brother are not welcome at my wedding and left the house.
My fiancé’s reaction was ‘That’s my girl!’ but I can’t help but feel like a jerk. My relationship with my mom is all I wanted but I might have ruined it with my mouth.
My mom is saying we can have a good relationship if I don’t strip this from her. I genuinely think that my actions may have caused me to lose my family and I don’t know what to do. AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Not Worrying About My Mom Taking Us To Court?
“So my wife Liz and I have been married for 7 years. We have preschool-age kids, and because we currently live in the same city as my parents. Mom would take the kids while my wife and I work.
Liz is the one with a much larger income, she got an even better job opportunity that is requiring us to move to another city. I agreed since I could easily find a job in my field in the city we’re moving to. but after my family heard we were selling the house to move, things went down.
Sunday, Mom and Liz got into a huge fight because Liz told Mom we’ll move away and hire a babysitter for the kids so she’s no longer ‘needed’. Mom said she doesn’t want her grandkids moving away, and even said we should let the kids live at her house while we move.
Liz laughed at her and Mom lost it basically saying that Liz was an ungrateful witch and that her grandkids moving will only happen over her dead body. They began exchanging harsher words and Liz snapped and told Mom to butt out of private matters that don’t concern her.
And said that she had no right to decide things regarding the kids.
Mom firmly told her she was dead wrong and proceeded to tell her that she, as an involved grandmother, knows her rights and she will be taking Liz and me to court to ensure she still gets to see her grandkids.
Liz was in shock, she looked to the left and saw me sitting there not saying or doing anything. She told me to check my mom but I told her she was being unfair to Mom and that she had to feel upset because she will no longer be able to see her grandchildren – I honestly told Liz that she was a bit selfish to not consider my mom’s feelings and her crucial presence in the kid’s life first.
Liz started arguing with me saying she couldn’t believe I didn’t stand behind her and defend her after hearing Mom saying she’d get the court involved. I said Mom was upset and can not be blamed for her reaction. Liz started yelling at me calling me unsupportive and an enabler then went home with the kids, insisting my family is MY problem and I should handle it although this whole moving thing was her idea.
The situation hasn’t been resolved and Liz and Mom are getting more intense in their fights. I choose to stay out of it because both have valid arguments but Liz has called me awful for not siding with her after seeing how mom spoke to her and being okay with the fact that mom was willing to cause us issues in court.
AITJ? I get that Liz wants my support but I feel like mom has been punished through no fault of her own after being a loving grandmother to my kids.”
3. AITJ For Telling My Son He Doesn't Need His Mom?
“My ex-wife (36 F) and I (35 M) married in 2010, and had our child (9 M). After giving birth she started seeing a friend of mine, and we divorced (they married and have 2 kids now). I’ve been a single dad since and she is still active in our son’s life (she visits 2 times a week).
My son has never gone to her house (she’s tried but he doesn’t want to). My son gets hurt every time she comes and leaves after 2 hours because he would like her to stay a little longer. The last time, my son started crying after she left and I comforted him because he was wondering why his mom didn’t love him and loves his half-siblings so I said, ‘Don’t worry starlight, you have me, I love you more than life itself, I know no human is capable of loving the way I love you; your siblings will never be loved the way you are.
You don’t need her’. That drew a big smile on my boy’s face.
My son will turn 10 this 04/04 and I will throw a party. She called him to let my son know she will be bringing the cake and my son replied: ‘You can just send it Mom.’ ‘Don’t you want me there?’ she asked. ‘My dad is right, no one needs you not even me’.
And he hung up.
She called me furious, she said I’ve been poisoning my son against her, I’ve brainwashed him, she also said she’ll come to the party whether I want her there or not (I never said she couldn’t come) because this is her child and the fact that she doesn’t live with him doesn’t make her love him any less.
My mom said I should’ve never anything said since ‘a child always needs their mom’. My ex-MIL called me a jerk for attempting to destroy their relationship by ‘pushing all of those crazy ideas’ and even accused me of using my son as a weapon to remind her what she did in the past, she even threw the cliché phrase ‘GROW UP’.
So AITJ here? Is ‘you don’t need her’ that bad?”
2. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Have A Toy Truck?
“So I (26 F) am expecting my first daughter with my husband (29 M) in September.
I grew up in a moderately religious household with pretty strictly defined gender roles. As in, since I was a girl, I had chores around the house while my younger brother did not have to do anything.
I don’t talk to my parents for a variety of reasons (going on year 5 now) so they do not know I am pregnant.
Both my aunts and grandparents were very supportive of me leaving my household and as such have been my main family. Being 6 months pregnant now, people have started to give gifts and I am very grateful for them.
We have decided that we don’t want our daughter to be surrounded by pink everything with only girl things.
So we have made a conscious effort to include traditionally ‘boy’ outfits and toys like dinosaurs and cars. We have told people that any gender items would be accepted and if it’s getting too much ‘pink’ we have gone out to balance a bit (getting a green jacket or something).
My younger aunt has taken great offense to this because ‘boys are boys and girls are girls’. And she is a very verbal and loud person and has let us know several times her opinions. She has two boys.
At my baby shower my older aunt gifted us a book called ‘Goodnight Construction Site’ and a little stuffed truck.
My younger aunt went on a tirade about how we are somehow making our daughter trans and not allowing her to be a girl. And she’s a loud person so of course her saying this was more like a yell, and in front of my VERY liberal in-laws who are very supportive of our choice.
Pregnancy hormones took over and I grabbed the toy, gave it to my younger aunt, and asked her what part of a man’s ‘thing’ was needed to operate this toy truck. She yelled that’s not what she meant and left. The rest of the baby shower went fine but it was a bit awkward after.
Since then she has been blowing up social media where a bunch of people agree with her that I am making my daughter trans and have been telling me that I was a jerk. The rest thinks what we are doing is fine, but that I shouldn’t have handled it that way.
So was I a jerk?”
1. AITJ For Taking My Daughter's Phone?
“My daughter (14 f) and I (42 f) have not had the best relationship together. My daughter has a computer and an iPhone which I paid for and are both a privilege to have. She is a straight-A student and does very well in school but she doesn’t act mature for her age.
She also refuses to let me go through her phone and computer but as her mom, it is my responsibility to make sure she is staying safe. 2 months ago I decided to get an app called Circle for my daughter on her computer which can limit the websites she uses, see whatever she is doing online and turn on or off her wifi.
I also put it on her phone but she deleted the app and changed the password which makes me think that she really is hiding something on her phone.
I have caught her talking about me multiple times and complaining about how I’m a ‘self-absorbed no-lifer’ to random people on the internet.
Her internet friends back her up no matter what, even if they don’t understand the situation and she exaggerates every small bit of the problem. She also takes 3 AP classes so she should probably be spending her time studying instead of fooling around online.
I give her many hours to study using the computer but every time it’s never enough.
So far she has been fighting me every night about which apps she can use, turning back on her wifi, letting her have 5 more minutes, etc. Last night I told her I would let her use 40 minutes on Discord and Roblox and that I would shut off her wifi at 8:45.
For the first 15 minutes she didn’t even use it and like I told her at 8:45 I shut off her wifi. 2 minutes later she came to me yelling and screaming saying she just needed 1 minute and she would’ve been done. I told her no since it wasn’t my fault she didn’t use the first 15 minutes and explained how staring at a screen is terrible for your eyes.
She has so many other things that she could do like read or play with her brother.
After a while, I asked her if I could go through her phone since she was being so quiet after so she was probably just on her phone.
She said no and slammed her door so I took her phone. She started cursing at me and then said if I don’t give it back she will throw out her school papers. She then continued to say no while calling it an invasion of privacy even though I’m her mother and I pay for the phone.
She dumped out all her books and worksheet even with AP exams coming up soon. My husband continues to defend my daughter calling me controlling and saying that she deserves some sort of reward for her good school work. He says it’s my fault she hates our family and won’t come out of her room anymore.
I want to salvage whatever is left of our relationship and fix this. So AITJ?”
