People Beg To Be Heard In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
32. AITJ For Refusing To Talk To My Mom Until I Get An Apology?
“So I, 23F, haven’t spoken to my mom, 45F, since Thanksgiving because of her new husband, 37M. Both my mother and I have a migraine condition that literally puts us out of commission until it’s gone.
I’m talking not even able to drink water because I’ll throw it up, moving to a different position in bed is sometimes too much for me.
On Thanksgiving, I was at work and had to leave early because I got a migraine and I was barely able to drive myself home.
I had texted my mom letting her know I probably wasn’t going to make it because I had a migraine; normally they last all day. At 11 am she said “lay down for a couple hours and see how you feel.” I went home, went to sleep, and woke up to messages from her husband yelling at me.
At 2 pm I got a couple of texts from him saying if I didn’t come today for dinner I wouldn’t be welcome in their house anymore and that my mom was a mess around the holidays and I know why. I also got a voicemail after multiple missed calls telling me to pick up my phone, disregard my headache, and get myself down there because I owe her at least that.
At 5 pm I got these texts “fine. Have it your way….” “starting next month you will need your own insurance. You will be taken off the policy 12/24” regarding me being on my mom’s car insurance. I understand why the holidays are tough for my mom especially because my grandma passed away last year.
I just moved into my own apartment in July so since then I’ve seen her 3 or 4 times, including her birthday which I hosted.
My issue is: I wasn’t invited to Thanksgiving dinner. I had to text her that morning before work and ask her if I should come over.
Also, we share the same migraine condition and I only did what she told me to do which she should understand. I don’t control how long I sleep when I have a migraine.
I was planning on going over after I woke up, and I didn’t wake up until 6:30 at which point reading those texts and listening to that voicemail made me not want to come at all.
I called her and told her I just woke up and was upset because of what her husband said. She didn’t know he had sent those messages to me so I told her to check his phone and that I wanted an apology.
The only response I get from her the next day is just repeating what her husband said about the insurance (which had never been brought up until then and they have more than enough money for their bills).
I said okay and got my own car insurance that night and let her know. She said “okay I love you” and I replied with “that’s nice I’m still waiting for an apology.”
Since then she’s tried to text me and I’ve left her on read for each message.
Today, she came to my house wanting to talk and I refused to let her in and told her to leave. I still haven’t gotten an apology from them. My friends and my uncle (mom’s brother) tell me I’m not in the wrong but I still kind of feel bad and I’m not sure if I’m taking putting up boundaries too far.
Am I the jerk?”
31. AITJ For Being Upset That My Friend Stole My Flag?
“I (15F) am a proud bisexual and am very active in my school’s pride society. My friend (16F) is also queer and is also part of the pride society.
When I came out my parents were very supportive and even got me a pride flag. My school had an end-of-year pride fair where everyone wore pride colors and was allowed to bring flags to celebrate the Lgbtq+ community.
I brought my flag and about half an hour in my friend asked if she could borrow it. I said sure because I trusted her with it and thought she would give it back when we had to leave.
When the event came to an end I couldn’t find her so I assumed she forgot to give it back and had already gone home.
So when I got back to my home I texted her saying that I wanted my flag back the next day (when we had school). She just responded with “OK” and I thought that was that.
The next day at school she didn’t have it and said that she forgot it at home and that she would bring it the next week (it was a Friday).
I said that that was fine. Everyone forgets things and I wasn’t going to get upset with her for accidentally leaving it at home.
However on that Sunday I was on social media and I saw her story. She was in her room and hung up on the wall was a pride flag.
I was super confused because I had been to her house before and I knew she didn’t have one and I also thought it was kinda suspicious that she had my one and kept forgetting to give it back. So I replied to her story and asked her if that was my pride flag on her wall.
She responded and asked if it matters and that I can’t gatekeep a piece of fabric. I responded saying it did matter and asked her if she was being serious and told her that I wanted it back the next day at school. She just left me on read and didn’t reply.
The next day at school I went up to her while she was talking to a group of her friends and asked her for the flag back and she just got really mad and said that I was being unreasonable and that she didn’t understand why I needed it back so badly.
I said that it was my property and that I didn’t need a reason and I never said she could keep it. She then started shouting at me saying I didn’t own the flag because it belongs to the community and that I just wanted to embarrass her in front of everyone.
I was shocked because this was really out of character for her. I just said that I needed it back because my parents were the ones who bought it not her and that if she didn’t give it back it would technically be theft.
She just gave me a filthy look and walked away.
She hasn’t talked to me since and it’s been almost a week. She also blocked me on WhatsApp and social media. Some of my friends are saying that pride flags belong to the community and that I was being selfish while my other friends think that she is just trying to keep it and gaslight me.
I’m really upset about the whole situation because I really value her friendship but I feel really betrayed by her. AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Going Home After My Mom Told Me She Only Invited Me To Babysit?
“I (27F) was invited on a family vacation to Vegas. It included me, my mom and her husband, and my brother (8M). We had a couple of family activities planned but obviously, it’s Vegas, I wanted to go to a show or two and to the casinos.
The first day there we went to the Hoover Dam, it was fun and my brother really thought it was cool.
After we got back to the hotel, my mom and stepdad split for dinner and left my brother and me with money to order food. It wasn’t how I wanted to spend the evening, but we had fun hanging out at the hotel nonetheless.
The next morning however, I woke up to my brother in the living room area of our hotel room (it was more of a condo I guess?
Had two bedrooms and a living room/kitchen) And my mom and stepdad were out shopping. I called my mom to ask when they’d be back, as I wanted to do some shopping as well and didn’t really want to be responsible for my brother the whole day.
She gave me a vague “this afternoon” answer. I took my brother to the pool and the afternoon turned to evening and my mom and stepdad were still gone. When I called her again she told me they had tickets to a show and suggested my brother and I order some food and watch a movie.
When they got back late, I asked my mom what the plans were for the next day. We only had a couple of days remaining and I still wanted to at least go out alone to the casino or something once. She told me they had tickets to another show the next day but that we’d all have brunch together, and then I could watch my brother at night.
I told her I didn’t come on vacation to be her babysitter, and she told me, straight up, that was the only reason she invited me. We got into a bit of an argument and I told her I’d rather go home than spend my time in Vegas babysitting.
She essentially said “Fine, then leave!” So.. I booked a flight home for first thing in the morning, took an Uber to the airport, and went home. She sent me some nasty texts afterward about “ruining their vacation” and my dad thought what I did was funny, as he can’t stand my mom, but kind of agreed that it was rude of me to leave.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Telling My Cousin That Her Getting Pregnant A Second Time Was A Mistake?
“My cousin Lola (30) has two special needs children (10m, 3f). When her son was born it was a huge shock since he has many issues and was in the NICU for a couple of months, her partner left and she moved back with her parents.
My cousin doesn’t work, she asks for donations all the time and refuses to hear of special homes. She usually makes requests for donations every 4 or 5 months since her parents don’t have the means and she just can’t manage it all. When she met her husband we were happy since we thought it would mean her parents and the rest of the family would get a break but it didn’t happen.
After she got married she announced she was pregnant again and the crap hit the fan. We asked her to please consider it, to please take the tests and decide if she can handle another special child. Her second kid requires more than her son and they still live with her parents, her husband works but only part-time.
She is always posting stuff about how hard it is to have 2 kids that will never get to be independent, how much she is suffering, it was God’s plan and she is super brave. Please know that I know she is brave and loves her kids, but she also expects everybody to pitch in because “nobody else knows how it’s like”.
After her second kid was born, the amount of donations lowered because we were sure it would just encourage her and may be perceived as a green light to have another kid.
In the past 2 years I haven’t put anything, nor do I send my aunt and uncle anything other than cards since I know they don’t even get to use it on themselves.
It was all fine since she only puts passive-aggressive things I usually ignore, but today I couldn’t anymore. My sister just got engaged and she was talking about how I will be buying her the dress and we are planning a special trip during the family Zoom where she broke the news to everybody.
My cousin started complaining as usual and asked me directly why I would spend money on a stupid dress instead of helping her innocent children. I told her I didn’t feel like arguing but she kept pushing and dropped her faith was decided by God. She continues saying her children and their needs are more important than frivolous things.
I just was too exhausted so I told her to stop “you will never see another cent from me, God didn’t pick your faith YOU DID. The first time I can believe it, the second time you did it on purpose. You shouldn’t have done it when you couldn’t even support your son”.
The family is split, they all agree we shouldn’t give her more financial aid but I was too harsh and I implied my niece was a mistake. I don’t feel bad for my cousin but my aunt is heartbroken because my mom also informed them they are not getting financial aid from them anymore starting January.
Also, I’m unsure if special needs is the right term anymore but they have epilepsy, autism spectrum, sensorial issues, tubes in throat and stomach, brain damage, some overlap but you get the gist.”
28. AITJ For Expecting My Kids To Be Fed?
“For Thanksgiving, my family (2 adults, 3 kids) drove a long distance (6+ hours) to celebrate with my sister and her family.
We had dinner on arrival (take out), Thanksgiving, then a planned brunch the next day all at her house. Saturday morning we show up thinking we were having a quick breakfast before she has her friends over for a 2nd brunch (done separately due to health precautions).
We arrive and her husband greets us.
I am excited to spend a bit more time together, get some drinks for the road and drive home. Her husband then tells me that he will not be feeding us any food. I am a bit confused, and he tells me that I misunderstood, they thought I was coming by to just say goodbye, and that they aren’t feeding us.
I have three hungry kids who haven’t eaten, and we checked out of our hotel walking past the free breakfast we’d eaten the other mornings.
I ask him directly what I’m supposed to do about the kids and he says there are lots of places for me to go to get food.
I literally ask if my kids can have an orange, and he says again he is not feeding us. So I tell my kids we are leaving, and we will wait outside for their Dad to get back with the car. I just walk out, don’t say goodbye to any of them (including her two kids).
We literally sit on their curb for 10 minutes waiting for the car.
I didn’t see my sister during this time at all. My sister texts while I’m outside (phone is in car, so I don’t see it until we are driving away), saying she’s sorry for the misunderstanding. I call her as we are driving away and ask her if she has any suggestions for us since her husband refused to feed my kids.
She tells me it’s not her “job” to feed my kids. That I’m completely rude and unreasonable. That there is a McDonald’s around the corner. I tell her I need to get off the phone and hang up.
I’m absolutely dumbfounded that her husband would decide to turn out three kids without so much as an orange and toast. And that she would support that decision and then call me rude to think that they would feed at least my kids.
The misunderstanding came from a phone call the night before. We took the afternoon to visit some other friends and thought we would be back for dinner with her (soup and leftovers). I was super sad, so I called and we discussed us coming by in the morning. I knew she had guests coming at 10:30 am, and told her we would leave by 10 am.
I guess she thought we would swing by at 10 am… we got there at around 9 am without having eaten anything. It’s clear that there was a misunderstanding, but I can’t figure out how the misunderstanding leads to them turning away three kids from their home like that. And how my leaving the situation makes me a jerk.
So…AITJ for showing up and asking for her to feed my three kids when they don’t think that’s the plan?”
27. AITJ For Refusing To Share My Netflix Password With BIL?
“To make the situation a bit easier to understand, I live with my partner at his parents’ house, and so does my BIL‘s significant other.
Just so everyone is aware of why this is difficult, I don’t pay rent.
My partner’s parents refuse to accept money from me because BIL‘s significant other has been there for 4 years never paying, (I have been there 8 months) and they think it’d be unfair to ask money from me. They’re just happy we’re a full family filling the house.
I feel really guilty for it though so I cook for them (they’re German, I’m from Peru so food is very different.
They loooove it). I help the mother with sewing her dresses because I am a seamstress. I do chores where I can. You get the idea, just do stuff to show appreciation.
Now, the significant other and BiL…are very incompetent. On purpose. MIL already asked me to cook for them while she was gone for vacation!
Keep in mind, I’m 22 and they’re both 27….I have a hard time saying no because, well. She lets me live there free and I’d feel rude to say no to her. And they rarely ever do chores. His significant other does NOTHING. Nada. I dunno how she can live there rent-free for 4 years and give nothing.
But that’s not my monkeys, my problem is with BIL.
As you can see, I don’t like him. He belittles my partner every day because my partner is a bodybuilder and doesn’t study as much as BIL does. My partner does anything his parents ask him to do without fighting but whenever his parents ask BiL to do something, BiL says “let my bro do it, he’s doing nothing anyways except working out.” (And it works cause MIL rather would have BIL study than do chores.)
So…I pay for the whole household’s Spotify. Including significant other’s and Bil’s. My money. Because the mom asked me if I can include them. (Originally it was just my partner, a friend, and me) But now, I got Netflix too, and I shared my password only with my partner.
He logged himself onto the TV and watched something. A week later, I see BIL made a user on my account and has been watching stuff!
No way. I changed passwords and logged him out. And then this dude has the audacity to ask for my password IN FRONT of his mom.
Because he knows if I say no I’ll be a jerk. But I said “Sure, pay me half and you can have it” and he says “but you live here free, it’s the least you can do.” ???????
I just left the room.
Obviously, MiL isn’t happy and asked my partner to talk to me.
My partner explains it’s because of the actions. So I explained it to FIL because he’s very down to earth. He understood and agrees with me! And talked to his wife to not pressure me! But in the end, I still feel like a jerk because MiL is very sad about this.
She knows I dislike BiL. Should I just give in? Is she right to feel sad about it? AITJ?
Just wanna add that living there is wonderful, I escaped an abusive mother and have a wonderful partner, MiL and FiL. It’s just about BIL.”
26. AITJ For Liking My Brother's Ex More Than His Partner?
“My brother (Steve) has been in a relationship with his current partner (Daisy) for around 1 year. In this time I’ve only met her a handful of times.
My brother was previously married to a woman (Louise) for 10 years and they have 3 kids together.
I met Daisy for the first time in April this year. She seemed friendly at first and we chatted getting to know each other. Second time we went out for a meal and she was unnecessarily rude to the waitress (demanding things and not saying please or thank you). I pulled her up on it and told her to apologize which she did.
Then we moved on.
Cut to June, I was sending out my wedding invites and invited Steve & Daisy, but I also invited Steve’s ex-wife Louise. I asked Steve if he had any issues with me inviting Louise and he said none at all because they co-parent very well and are very much still friends.
I’ve known Louise for 15 years and just because she’s now divorced from my brother, I still very much see her as part of the family.
A couple of weeks went by and I get a message from Daisy (I’ve only met her twice at this point) asking me to uninvite Louise or she wouldn’t come to the wedding.
So I just replied, “Okay, no problem. It’s your choice not to come to the wedding, but I won’t be uninviting anyone”. Daisy didn’t like this and declined to come.
Skip to the day before the wedding, Louise didn’t come due to unforeseen circumstances. So Steve told Daisy and Daisy eventually came.
I didn’t care if she was there or not, I didn’t really spend much time with her.
Few weeks after the wedding, my mum organized a girls get together and Daisy was invited too. This is my 4th time meeting her at this point. There were around 10 of us and we were having fun and having a few drinks.
Daisy just starts shouting at me for being inconsiderate for inviting Louise to the wedding and not considering her feelings.
I was just honest and said I only met her twice before the wedding and I didn’t really know her (Daisy) and I only invited her because she is my brother’s partner.
It also doesn’t matter if Louise was invited because it was MY wedding and I could choose who to invite. If I had to choose to invite Louise or her (Daisy) then I would have chosen Louise because she has been a part of my family for a long time.
I didn’t really speak to her since this incident and I saw her yesterday at a family meal. Daisy asked me if I liked her and I said based on my interactions with her that I didn’t like her and didn’t think we could get on, but happy to be civil.
I just don’t want a friendship with her.
A few hours after the meal, I got a message from Steve asking why I didn’t like her. I sent him all the messages she sent me, told him about the incident at my mum’s get-together and he said that I should give her a chance because I don’t really know her.
AITJ for admitting to her that I don’t like her?”
25. AITJ For Not Leaving The Dog Park When Another Dog Owner Asked Me To?
“Early yesterday morning, I (26f) went to the fenced-in dog park with my 2.5-year-old Australian shepherd/border collie. Anyone who has or has had these types of breeds know they require a lot of work and have a lot of energy. We have been to this park a couple of times before when we are doing yard work at home and my dog can’t use the yard to play and whatnot.
He loves to run around with the ball and loves to run with other dogs and is very good with the other dogs that are usually at the park.
Most of the times when we’re there, there are at least 3-4 other people, but there happened to be no one there when we went – like not even in the parking lot or anywhere near the dog park.
I thought maybe it was closed but I checked around the area and there were no signs anywhere that said it was closed or open and I checked on our city’s park website to make sure that it was not closed and it said it was open. And in our city, if any type of park is closed, they have the metal fence up so you can’t go in or park in the parking lot.
So my dog and I went in and were playing fetch for about 10 minutes when out of nowhere a lady and her dog came up to the gate and told us we had to leave right now so that her dog could go in. I told her that my dog is good with other dogs if she wanted to come in anyways.
She said no because her dog is not good around other dogs so she can only play by herself and wanted me to leave so her dog could use the entire dog park. She had a little dog that I think was a Pomeranian or Chihuahua or something which does not need that much space.
So I told her no I wasn’t leaving and that this is the only area near our house that my dog will have to play in for the next few days and he needs to run around to let his energy out. She said I should just take him for a long walk and that he didn’t need to be running around like that and I shouldn’t take up the entire dog park for something so simple as walking around the block a few times.
I then proceeded to tell her that if she wanted to walk my 85 lb dog, who is full of energy, around the block a bunch of times to get him tired then sure I’ll leave after that, but if not then I’m not going to leave so her lil demon dog can “take up the entire dog park for something so simple as walking around the block a few times….” She said I was a jerk for not “respecting others” and the needs they might have and only thinking about myself.
Soo AITJ for not leaving the dog park when I was somewhat asked to?”
24. AITJ For Wanting My Partner To Do His Own Laundry?
“My partner (22m) and I (23f) have been living together for 5 months, in this time I have done the majority of the housework, cooking, cleaning, laundry. He mainly does the washing up after I’ve cooked, which can take him days to get around to.
We both work and are students.
Recently we have gotten into an argument over laundry. The laundry was starting to pile up as I hadn’t done any for a few days. I am the only one who does the laundry, I think my partner has done it maybe once or twice since living together.
It came to the point that my partner had no clothes to wear as I don’t wash his tops with other laundry as they are expensive and need washing on a lower heat so they pile up until there is enough for a wash.
My partner tends to leave all his clothes in a pile after wearing them in our bedroom, therefore don’t get put into the washing basket when they need cleaning.
It came to the point where he had no clothes to wear as I hadn’t done the laundry and he had only just put the rest of his clothes in the basket. He asked me, ‘when are you going to do the washing because I have no clothes’, to which I replied why does he just assume I’m going to clean them when he knows how to use the washing machine?
I have told him multiple times that he needs to start helping out more and that I don’t clean his tops as they need washing separately from everything else.
The next morning he was taking me to work and I asked him if he would put some washing on while I was at work, there were at least two loads that needed doing and he was off all day.
He said he doesn’t know how to use the washing machine, which annoyed me as I’ve shown him how it works and a quick Google would have helped if he forgot, I would have even shown him before I left if he had any interest. I said, ‘are you actually not going to do any?’ To which he replied no. I told him not to expect any clean clothes then.
I got home from work and he hadn’t done any washing but had put away the clean clothes from the maiden. I didn’t say anything and put a load on which did not include his clothes. The day after he had to get dirty clothes out of the washing to wear to work, when he got home he again asked me to wash his clothes, I said no. He wasn’t happy and texted he just wanted a favor from me, I said I would show him how to use the washing machine if he came downstairs, he was only playing on his Xbox, he wouldn’t do this and kept asking if I’ve put the clothes in, which I didn’t and kept telling him to come down and I would show him.
We ended up arguing and he said I had an ego because my sister was visiting that day and that I was just being stubborn and not doing the washing out of spite. I told him I wasn’t his mother or his maid. In the end his clothes didn’t get done and he slept in the spare bedroom.
AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Causing A Scene And Yelling At My Friend Who Knew About My Husband's Affair?
“I (36M) have been married to my husband (34M) since gay marriage was legalized in New York in 2011. I’ve loved him as long as I’ve known him but I’ll admit things have been rocky between us the past year or so. Even so I still love him with all my heart.
I’ve known about my husband’s affair with his coworker F (35M) for a few months but I kind of tried to ignore it. You know the ‘if I can’t see it it isn’t happening’ policy. (Spoiler it doesn’t work.) I stopped being able to ignore it when I came to my husband’s office and his assistant stopped me from going into his office.
I’m sure you can imagine why. Long story short I got intoxicated (and I mean very intoxicated) and confronted him. There were a lot of tears. From both of us but especially me because I’m still madly in love with my husband. (Pathetic I know.)
We have a mutual friend C (35M) who is friends with F, the guy who was involved with my husband.
C and F work with my husband and earlier today they (unaware that I knew about the involvement) came over to pick some work stuff up, I don’t know. I told F to get out of my house and C asked why I was yelling. I told him to take a wild guess and all C said was ‘secret’s out I guess?’ I got angry.
I yelled at him, called him a terrible friend, and asked how long he knew. My husband tried to calm me down (I was still kind of intoxicated) but I told him to leave me alone.
C said it wasn’t his fault I was a bad husband (he’s protective of my husband, they’re old childhood friends) and he was just trying to lighten the mood.
I told him to shove his apology up where the sun doesn’t shine and that he was just as much at fault as my husband for keeping this from me. C pointed out that even my husband’s mom knew we wouldn’t work out, which is a sore spot for me, and that I needed to take accountability.
I kept yelling at him and told him if he was actually my friend he’d shut up. He kept talking and eventually it turned into a screaming match. I might have shamed C and hinted he was also involved with my husband. We only quieted when F piped up and said to stop yelling at C and to start yelling at him.
I called F spineless and told C never to talk to me again before telling them to go. My husband asked me what was wrong with me, but I just locked myself in my office. This was a few hours ago. I only came out to tell the cops (who’d been called because of the noise) that we were fine.
I get that I’m allowed to be mad but I’m worried I crossed a line. AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Refusing To Convince My Cousin To Change His Wedding Venue?
“One of my cousins is engaged and they are having a wedding in another state because his future wife has two relatives who live there.
They are in their 90s and can’t travel easily. Everyone else who is invited to the wedding is not as old and is healthy and would have no problem making the 2.5-hour drive there.
My parents got upset when they found out about the wedding being there because it means one of my brothers can’t go.
Legally he can’t leave the state right now. The cousin who is getting married is the son of my mom’s sister. When my parents got upset my aunt and some other relatives tried to convince my cousin’s future wife to change the wedding venue. My cousin basically told them to leave her alone and shove it and said he isn’t having two 90+ year-olds being taken on an uncomfortable car trip that would be at least two hours away.
Those venues close to the state border that my mom and aunt and relatives suggested are also booked up and my cousin would have to push his wedding back by a lot. He said the wedding is happening at the original venue which is in the other state and 10 minutes away from the nursing home.
I’m an usher in the wedding and my mom and aunt are a bit mad I won’t try to convince my cousin to move the venue. My brother can’t be an usher because of this. My dad also agrees even though he isn’t as vocal as my mom is. Personally, I don’t think it is any of my business.
The last time my mom and aunt asked me to talk to my cousin on behalf of my brother I said he is an adult who can do it himself and he has no one to blame but himself because all the legal issues are his own fault and no one else’s.
My mom said the legal problems ruined his life and I said he did it to himself. Now my parents, brother, aunt, and various other relatives are mad at me for saying my brother ruined his own life and caused his own problems because they all got told what I said.
Am I the jerk for saying my brother ruined his own life and it’s no one else’s problem but his?
(Since I know people will ask what he did: His partner was in a car accident. He went to the scene and pretended to be a random pedestrian who saw everything from the sidewalk to the cops and the insurance company.
He lied about the other driver causing the accident even though his partner did. The other driver and another car who wasn’t involved both had dash cameras that contradicted what he said and showed he wasn’t even on the sidewalk. He also forgot the car was registered to both of them so the insurance company and the cops figured out he wasn’t a random witness.
There was a criminal court case and a lawsuit he had to go through and another court case for breaking the terms of his probation from the first case. He is still dealing with the fallout and will be for many years. It’s not relevant to my question but I know people will be curious)”
21. AITJ For Defending Myself When I Was Berated For Not Being Well-Educated?
“I have been working in a local clinic for a few months as a Radiology Technician and I really love my job.
It was a 3-year course in a local college with the degree being a little lower than a university’s. Now I’m looking for ways to upgrade my degree and my teachers are helping me find ways to do so, which I’m really grateful and excited for. My cousin is a Computer Science major which is really hard.
She hasn’t obtained her degree yet, she has a few more classes to go but she’s been working in a Software development company and the payment is the same as mine, ultimately causing a rift in our family.
Apparently, I do not deserve to have the same pay as her, but lower since I didn’t study at a university or as long as she did.
They feel as if I took the easy way out because I paid for college and it didn’t need entrance exams like her uni did. My school wasn’t as easy as they made it out to be, it required a lot of sacrifices on my part in order to pull through, being a job with no room for mistakes
During a family event they kept talking about how unfair it was that I’m getting paid as much as she is when her job is more important than mine but I kept quiet because frankly, it’s my job and I shouldn’t care about what they have to say, I’m doing what I like and that’s what matters to me.
Anyways during this discussion my grandpa stands up, points the finger at me, and says “You’re the reason why this country is going downhill. You’re uneducated and she studied her rear off to get this job, so you don’t have a say in this, so just be quiet” he also added that I should be unemployed for not even trying (I still don’t know what this meant, not trying..for what?).
At first, I thought of saying nothing but I saw quite a few family members agree and I guess I felt betrayed in a way and decided I had enough so I said that 1) I literally don’t care whether she’s being paid more, less or the same as me 2) Talking negatively about my work and degree won’t raise her pay and that they can buzz off acting like her lawyer or something, I work my rear off too and them not knowing what I even do doesn’t mean that I do nothing or that it’s less significant.
They were FURIOUS after I went on with my rant and they decided to cut me off and simply ignore my existence after calling me a jerk, an idiot, an uneducated and worthless piece of junk, etc…
I don’t think I’m the jerk for standing up for myself but part of me thinks that I may be one for having such a pay, even when people like my parents and friends reassure me I’m not a jerk for simply just doing my job.
I’m trying my best for a better degree too so it’s not like I’m doing nothing. I’m really confused actually so I don’t know what more there is to say.”
20. AITJ For Convincing My Coworker To Cut Her Beautiful Hair?
“I (33f) am the manager of the marketing department. All 15 of us are girls except for Gregg (30m). Serene (24f) is a junior staff who joined us this year.
An attractive young woman, energetic, cheerful. Her best asset I would say is her head of thick blonde curly hair just past the middle of her back. She has an amazing figure which makes every guy crazy. Gregg seems to develop a liking for Serene, helping her a lot at work.
The company decided to launch a sales campaign which includes doing a video advertisement. Gregg volunteered Serene to be one of the models. My boss agreed, asking me to look into it. So it was arranged and Serene was very excited at the opportunity.
Serene and I turn up for casting.
The modeling agent Ling and the hairstylist explain to me how each model will be styled. I noticed that one of the models is to get a sassy pixie cut, said that Serene will look good in it.
Ling walked over to Serene and told her that they wish to give her a short pixie, sporty look.
Serene was caught by surprise. She didn’t expect to cut her hair, and definitely not a pixie cut. Ling started to persuade, encourage her to take the plunge. While the hairstylist was working on the other model, I spoke to Serene. Told her she doesn’t need to cut her hair if she doesn’t want to, but a pixie will flatter her look and she can carry off the look.
Eventually she gives me a nod, and told Ling she wants to cut her hair.
Ling and the hairstylist were excited. They seated Serene in the chair and start explaining how the cut will be like. Serene keeps nodding. Before I know it, the hairstylist has put Serene’s lovely blonde hair in a few ponytails and cut them off!
He then works aggressively with the scissors on the hair. Serene was in shock and stared nervously at the mirror. The cut seemed much shorter than the picture shown to me. The stylist cut most of her hair to nearly an inch all over! I could see her scalp. Gregg comes in at this time, and it takes him a while to recognize it’s Serene from her back.
The casting was a success, with everyone agreeing that Serene’s makeover is the most amazing. Gregg didn’t say much about the haircut. But Serene said she loves it and how light it makes her feel.
Back in the office the next day, everyone was in awe. They can’t believe that Serene chopped off all her lovely hair and opted for an extremely short buzzcut.
(Nobody thinks it’s a pixie cut) And I can hear the guys’ hearts shattering. Apparently Serene felt uneasy with the attention on her hair, and I also noticed she will unconsciously try to swipe her hair with her hand, only to find the feel of short stubble. People started to rub her head whenever they see her.
I feel sorry for her and really felt bad about it.
AITJ? Didn’t expect her hair to be cut extremely short. And I find that Gregg doesn’t talk to her as much now.”
19. AITJ For Refusing To Do The Dishes After The Comment My Wife Made To Her Friends?
“My office is only a couple miles from my house so I usually go home for lunch every day.
Since it is so close, I have time to do the dishes, take out the trash, switch the laundry, etc, before I go back to work. I find it’s a nice use of my lunch break and helps to free up some time in the evening so I can relax more with my family.
A couple of weeks ago my wife had a few of her friends over for drinks. I was in the other room watching TV but I could hear them talking and laughing and I heard my wife make a comment about how she has me trained so well I come home on my lunch break to do the dishes and called me her “dish servant.”
It really rubbed me the wrong way. Even if she was just joking with her friends, it felt really demeaning to me, and felt like she was putting me down so that she could feel bigger in front of her friends.
So, I didn’t do the dishes or any other chores when I was home at lunch the next day.
My wife gets home from work before me every day and instead of coming home to a clean kitchen and empty sink, there are dishes piled up and the trash needs to be taken out, etc.
When I got home my wife was doing the dishes and told me I need to give her a hand because she needs to get dinner started. She asked if I came home for lunch that day and I said I did.
She asked why I didn’t do the dishes and I told her that her “dish servant” was on strike. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me with her mouth open.
I told her that yeah, I heard what she said and that I don’t appreciate her putting me down to her friends just so that she can feel good about herself.
She said she was just joking around and she doesn’t really think about me that way.
I told her she would flip her lid if she heard me talk about her that way to my friends. She said they were just joking around and it didn’t mean she actually thought that.
I told her I want to believe her, but I honestly don’t think she was just joking. I told her I think I might just start going out to eat at lunch, or take a lunch to the office from now on.
She told me I was being petty and overreacting.
I told her I don’t think I am. She then asked if I was going to help her with the dishes so she can start dinner and I said “No, I don’t think I will.” I told her I will play with the kids to keep them distracted since we are having a later dinner that night.
After the kids went to bed she told me I was being a jerk about one little joke that she didn’t even mean and I was blowing this way out of proportion. I told her she knows how much she’d freak out at me if I said something like that, so I don’t think I’m overreacting at all.
I told her respect goes both ways and she doesn’t get to put me down to her friends to make her feel bigger.”
18. AITJ For Refusing To Be A Therapist For My Neighbors' Kid?
“My partner (25f) and I (27m) both work as therapists for kids. She works with elementary and middle schoolers whereas I work with high schoolers.
Over the summer, through some chance interactions, we befriended our next-door neighbors who recently moved in.
They are roughly the same age as us but they have a young son (4 or 5). Even though he is young he is very argumentative and has basically no control over his emotions. Anything (seriously, anything. I once saw him start throwing things when a YouTube video that he was enjoying came to an end) that upsets him leads to him crying, screaming, and throwing things.
On top of that, we often hear them screaming at each other through the walls (sometimes at their son), which makes him cry more. We don’t want to judge so my partner and I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Our neighbors know my partner and I are therapists so ever since we met they have asked for advice from time to time.
That was fine at first, but as time went on our interactions became more and more focused on them asking us questions. It even got to the point where they asked if we would consider counseling him. There are many ethical reasons why we can’t, which we explained at the time, but due to the nature of our jobs my partner and I have a strict rule for ourselves that after 4 pm we do NOTHING related to work.
It’s our time and maintaining a good work-life balance is good for self-care. They were visibly annoyed when we told them this, but eventually they got over it.
Last week, after a particularly stressful day at work, the dad caught me in the hallway right as I got home.
He was immediately asking me for help and basically ignored everything we previously talked about. I informed him that I had a long day, just wanted to go home, and that if they’re this concerned about their son they should go find him a therapist. He took this as an offense because he snidely said “I have therapists living next door” which absolutely pushed me over the edge.
I reminded him of what we talked about before, and when he shrugged it off and repeated his last statement I said something along the lines of “you want my therapeutic advice? Stop screaming at each other all the time. Everything I’ve seen him do I can directly relate to how you treat him and how you and his mom interact”.
Obviously he didn’t like this, so he called me a jerk, said some other choice words, and went to his apartment. Not sure what’s to come of this but I’m not exactly looking forward to seeing them again. AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Asking My Husband To Do His Therapy Somewhere Else?
“My (F34) husband (M33) and I live in a 2-bedroom apartment. He started recently attending online therapy. Reasons? No reason in particular. No losing family member, no recent traumas or accidents he just says he feels too overwhelmed with work (he works a demanding job but I won’t mention it because I don’t want him to be judged for it) he wanted to let off some steam and attend therapy.
I 100% encouraged him and said go for it. However, these therapy sessions have been happening for a period of 3 months. And he’d have 2 sessions in just one day. He says he found another therapist which’s illogical to me but anyway. He’d stay in the bedroom for hours on end preventing me from coming in.
I’m talking 3 to 4 hrs a day and whenever I walk into the bedroom which was only twice the laptop gets slammed shut and my husband would just stare at me confused. I pointed out how rude it was to do this to his therapist(s) and he aggressively replied that what’s really rude is the way I barge in while he’s trying to have his therapy session.
He told me if I walk in one more time he will take matters into his own hands.
Yesterday I had an emergency and had to get inside the bedroom to get my pad pack which I keep in my closet. I kept knocking but he didn’t answer so I walk in quietly but he immediately shuts his laptop and looks enraged then says “oh so we doin’ this???
Okay” then he gets off his chair and starts lashing out saying “I’m struggling here and you don’t even pretend to give a darn anymore!!! It’s called privacy and you should respect that! NOW get out!!!” I get out and he locks the door. I was fuming at this point but managed to get my pad before he kicked me out.
Out of respect I waited til his session was over and started arguing with him about how utterly bad it was of him to lock me out of the room that’s supposed to be a. shared. space. between us. He said he had to lock me out because of my barging/snooping and continuous disrespect of his privacy.
I straight up said he needed to start having his therapy sessions somewhere else since it’s not okay for him to keep the bedroom busy for 4hrs. That’s just too much!!! He said I could go in and take whatever I need before he locks the door but I won’t take all my stuff out that is not logical to me.
I told him he could take his laptop and really go anywhere else whether in the apartment, coffee shop, car, or even the parking lot! He shamed me and said this is his apartment too and that I was being negative and disrespectful instead of supportive and understanding of his situation.
We’ve been arguing about it for hours til now.
Now I’m leaving this to you. Am I wrong for asking him that?”
16. AITJ For Laughing When My Roommate Suggested My Partner Buy Everyone Dinner?
“This includes me (F), my 3 roommates (all F), our friends who live in the same building (both M), and my partner.
All of us are 18-20. My partner and I have been together for over a year and I’m away at college so we have a 3-hour long-distance relationship. He comes to visit every other weekend. He lives with his sister and pays rent/utilities. He has a car he’s paying off.
He works 40-50 hours a week for $17.
Ok, so, every other weekend he’s in the city with me. We usually go out for dinner at least once over the three days he’s in town, and sometimes we go somewhere casual and sometimes we’ll go somewhere more fancy and expensive.
He specifically sets money aside for when he’s in town with me and for dinner. Like I said, he pays rent and bills. So he’s not rich.
The problem is that one of my roommates seems to think it’s unfair I go get dinners with him. Every time she’ll tell me “He should take us all out, it would only be fair”.
Meaning her, my other 2 roommates, and our other 2 friends. And she wants him to pay for ALL of it. For 7 people total! The first few times she said it I laughed it off because it seemed like a joke. She finally made it clear she’s not joking, she’s serious.
She thinks it’s unfair I get to go out and get nice dinners with my “rich” partner when she can’t afford it. She has a skewed idea that he’s rich because he’s not in college and has a job. I told her when she gets a partner she can go out on dates and she said college boys are broke.
I said go out with someone who’s working and not in college, she said all those guys are weird. I said he can’t afford to pay for everyone, and she laughed it off and dropped it. Next time we went out to dinner and came back, she said the same thing and I ignored it.
I think it’s super rude and weird she expects him to buy 7 people dinner. She and one of my other roommates seem to have no sense of boundaries that he’s my partner (Ex: saying they love him, saying he’s all of us roommates’ partner, asking him to clean their rooms and do their laundry while we’re in class).
Let me also add, if we go get food on campus I usually don’t eat bc I don’t have a meal plan like my roommates. I’ve never complained about it and she’s never offered to buy me food.
AITJ for not asking him to buy us all dinner?”
15. AITJ For Refusing To Drive My Wasted Friends Back From A Party I Wasn't Invited To?
“Some friends of mine used to throw big parties, but when they got too big most people in our shared friend group were uninvited, myself ~sometimes~ included. I didn’t like trying to keep the parties secret from our other friends so I got Really Uninvited. I was upset at first but now I don’t really care, it’s cliche but I have more fun with the Uninvited Squad.
However, I’m really close with “Rae” and she knows I’m responsible: when we used to go to parties together I was the food picker-upper.
Last night she crept away from a baking session claiming to be tired and lo and behold wound up at a party at 1 AM, which I found out when she texted me asking if I was sober.
I said yes, but refused when Rae asked if I could drive. She replied “but we’re inebriated and we want food, we’re at Alex’s (party host).”
I told Rae I didn’t feel like picking up food for a party I wasn’t invited to, but that if she needed a walk home or to our housing complex to pick up some crappy campus food I’d drive.
But to say so soon cause I was going to bed.
Ah, drama: at this point her partner took her phone (I am told) and texted that it was a jerk move to leave my inebriated friends and it was my responsibility to make sure they were safe and didn’t die or get arrested. I texted Rae to think ahead next time she went to a party, good night.
This morning was sort of tense, I wasn’t angry except for that one text from Rae’s partner. Rae came up and said “we ended up getting (somebody sober) to get us food,” and I alluded to the Text. She said her partner texted it, but it sounds like she agrees with him.
They’re a little salty I wouldn’t drive.
So AITJ for refusing to help them out? I feel like they might be right that I should care for my compromised friends and it was irresponsible of me to be passive, knowing they were inebriated and wanted to drive somewhere. However, I’ve been inebriated with them before and they’ve always understood not to drive inebriated. And I think I don’t owe them because why should I help out their secret parties that I wasn’t invited to?
Oh, also I think this is important information: the place we throw the parties is a 3-minute walk from our housing complex. You can get back and forth easily without driving. Also food delivery services don’t work on our campus.”
14. AITJ For Telling My Partner We Need To Start Living Like Roommates?
“6 months ago, I (24m) and my partner “J” (23f) were both in school and worked 35+ hrs weekly.
We split bills 50/50 and chores 50/50.
Now I’m in my last semester of engineering, doing an internship, working part-time on weekends, and freelancing. J graduated, works 2 days at the office and 3 days at home. We still split bills 50/50 as incomes are still similar.
My issue is ~6 days a week I’m gone 7:30-8ish pm.
J is now home most of the time. I don’t think the chore/grocery setup is fair. J disagrees.
In the past, if 1 cooked, the other cleaned up. We both were not home then all the time. J loves cooking. She cooks 2x-3x a day most days now, and I’m expected to clean it all.
Even if I didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, I still am responsible.
Also with more time, she is cooking more elaborate meals. The kitchen is like a tornado when I come home. But she says she put more effort into cooking, so the same amount is required for cleaning.
She is experimenting with meals and most of them are meals with ingredients she loves, but I either hate or am allergic to. So like 3x a week, I can’t either eat or absolutely hate the meal provided.
I’m allergic to onions, she now puts them in everything.
Or she will make a late lunch with them just for her, and eat a 2nd helping for dinner, so I am on my own. Or her latest is Indian food, and it has never been good, but she keeps trying and it results in most of it wasted. I don’t wanna eat it, and she will eat a plate to make a point, but nothing else.
Our utilities have basically doubled, which I’m fine with – but so has our grocery bill, and my chore load. I paid 50-60 biweekly and now it’s 130-140. I can’t even eat most of the things made with it.
J argues that I had no problem splitting 50/50 before.
Which is true. I did not care if she bought onions or other things I hate. But she only ever cooked them when I wasn’t eating too. Plus we weren’t home and only spent 100-120 biweekly. Now I’m spending more than that, can’t eat it most of the time, still expected to clean it up, and be fine with it.
I plead my case, and she fully disagreed. So I asked that we live like just roommates for the next 2/3 weeks, so she can see what I mean. I said I’ll cook and handle my own meals, we can do our own laundry, our own grocery shopping and stuff.
She got mad but agreed, now a week later blew up on me, telling me I don’t appreciate her. That I’m taking the fact I am still in school more to discount her efforts. I’m not being fair and don’t see WFH as a real job.
I’m not discounting what she does intentionally. She graduated and deserves that peace of no school.
But why should I have to clean for 3 meals when I only ate 1 – if even.
Why should I pay double in groceries when I can’t eat it most of the time.
I just want to not come home to a tornado in the kitchen and be able to eat what was made. AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Making My Daughter Live Alone?
“I’m a 48yo single mom of 4. My daughter is 28. She has not been employed for about 5 years and I have supported her financially. I was a housekeeper but now I’m a CNA, so basically I make minimum wage in my state. I took a pay cut to get into the medical field.
The cost of living where we live is pretty high, too. It’s been hard, we exist paycheck to paycheck and I sometimes have to borrow funds when unexpected expenses happen. I have to work at least 50 hours a week to survive (I’m planning on going to nursing school next year so I can actually afford to live).
My daughter suffers from depression & anxiety and ADHD. She considers herself a disabled, dependent adult. I do know she struggles with a lack of motivation, fatigue, and is just really disorganized due to her conditions. About 4 years ago, she had an opportunity to do an intensive outpatient program which I was so excited for her I told her not to worry about anything else, just focus on IOP (it was a 4-week daily program).
That has turned into 4 years and I have begged her to please get a job and help financially. Or, if she truly feels she cannot work, get on disability. I should add, when I was a housekeeper she would work with me when I was cleaning offices, so she’s not physically disabled and completely unable to work, she struggles with motivation and energy, and routine.
She’s very socially anxious and has been isolating for all these years. I have tried everything I could to encourage her to do something, anything that gets her out of the house and into a routine. Even volunteer work, which would at least give her the practice of having a job without so much pressure, would be acceptable.
When we talk about her getting a job, it usually ends in arguing. We argue a lot, it’s getting worse because taking the pay cut has really impacted us financially but it was necessary for me to start my medical career. The arguing became increasingly heated and even physical. Because of this, I decided we had to separate.
I rented a room from a coworker and left my daughter at our apartment. I still pay all the rent and give her spending money. I’ve been staying with her on my days off to help with rides, laundry, etc. However, she has had 3 months on her own and still not gotten a job in fact she’s worse off than when I left. She had started to say I was verbally abusive and holding her back so I thought by leaving maybe she would flourish, but now after 3 months she is accusing me of abandoning her, even threatening to report me for neglecting a dependent adult which as a caregiver and future nurse is particularly hurtful.
It’s absurd to me because I’m literally at her apartment trying to help her while she’s hurling these accusations at me. She wants me to move back in, but I cannot handle the arguing. So, AITJ for moving out and refusing to move back in?”
12. AITJ For Refusing To Give Financial Support To My Family?
“Up until last week I was no contact with my brother, our father, and our mother.
My brother went to college at the institution our father attended but he was expelled during his first year. He has always lived with our parents and has never had a job. Back when I was still in contact and just after I graduated from law school my parents told me to deposit money in either their or my brother’s bank account from my own pay once I got a job.
I was angry when they made this demand as I had not lived with or been financially supported by my parents since I went to college.
My parents thought I was wasting my time wanting to attend college and refused to sign for me to get a loan so without a scholarship I would have been out of luck.
My brother was only accepted to college as a legacy because my parents donated funds, he didn’t get in at first. My parents said they needed my financial help back then because it was too hard for them to support my brother. I said no and told them I never would because they were bringing this on themselves by not making him stand on his own two feet.
I went no contact for this and other reasons.
My father contacted me last week. He said he was forced out of his last two jobs because he kept making mistakes and his accounting license was taken away so he can’t work any longer. He said he can’t afford to retire yet.
My brother still lives with him and has never worked. He informed me my mother passed away four years ago and they could barely afford the funeral. My father said he found me online and he wants me to give him money because he and my brother need it. He said he’ll probably never get to retire and my brother will need help after he dies.
My parents had tried to arrange a marriage for him but with no job or education, it didn’t work out.
I told him to never contact me again. Now my brother has started contacting me. I am in the process of dealing with that. My brother and I were arguing until he stopped engaging because he thinks I’m horrible for not helping my dad and him and leaving them in poverty when I could afford not to.
It’s true, I could easily afford to help them (I make six figures, more than double the median salary here and I have no debt) but I don’t want to. I told my parents this would happen. My brother and my father are the only family I have left even if we are estranged. In our culture it is normal for the children to assist their parents and relatives in old age but it isn’t legally required. But I don’t want to.
Does this make me the horrible one for refusing to help for no other reason than I simply do not want to? Thank you in advance to those who read/responded.”
11. AITJ For Not Going To My Sister's Wedding Because I Was Pregnant?
“My younger sister is getting married and she asked me to be her Maid of Honor. Of course I accepted and am thrilled to fill this role for her.
Initially, her wedding was scheduled for 2020. However, due to health concerns, she and her fiance postponed their wedding date to late fall of this current year.
It’s important to note that her wedding is being held at a location slightly over 700 miles from where I currently live.
Anyway, earlier this year I found out that I’m pregnant with my first child. My husband and I were not actively trying, the pregnancy happened organically.
When I did the math, my tentative due date fell around the date of her wedding this fall.
After meeting with my midwife, the confirmed due date is three weeks after her wedding weekend. So, that means that on her wedding day, I will be 37 weeks pregnant (which is considered full term if the baby were to be delivered).
So, I called my sister up to tell her the big news.
I knew she’d probably be both happy for me (because babies are generally a happy thing), but also sad because the likelihood of my attendance at her wedding was in serious doubt. At 37 weeks pregnant, airlines literally do not allow you to fly due to danger to mother and baby.
Additionally, driving for 700+ miles being that pregnant is strongly advised against by most medical professionals.
I decided it was extremely important to be transparent with her about this because both babies and weddings are a big deal. I did my best to be empathetic to her and make it clear that this was an incredibly difficult decision for my husband and me to make and that I would still do everything I possibly could to fill my responsibilities as her M.O.H.
Her response: my pregnancy is both an inconvenience and disappointment to her because it messes up her wedding plan. She proceeded to state that I “know how babies are made, that I had one month out of the year to not get pregnant but did so anyway just so I could get out of attending her wedding.” Then, she hung up on me and didn’t speak to me for 3 months despite my efforts to reach out to her.
Since then we’ve been talking again. I’ve made the pilgrimage that 700+ miles to be the babysitter/DD at her bachelorette party, gone dress shopping, wrote a speech, and coordinated another member of her bridal party to read it aloud on the day of the wedding, plus coordinated flights for my two step-children to still attend her wedding even though my husband and I won’t be in attendance.
Not to mention gifts + other miscellaneous things that go with wedding planning.
Her wedding has come and gone and I’m about to burst forth a baby any day now. She’s still upset with me, however, for all of this because she thinks I got pregnant on purpose to miss her wedding.
She claims that there are plenty of hospitals in the city where she got married and I could have easily been tended to by a physician there. AITJ for deciding against standing up in/attending her wedding at 37 weeks pregnant?”
10. AITJ For Leaving A Bad Review At A Salon And Causing Someone To Get Fired?
“So every year on Halloween my friends and I go to this big party, we dress up and have fun, all that jazz. So effectively every year I make sure to make an appointment that day at 8 am (opening time) for eyebrows, hair, and nails.
I always make this appointment months in advance, since I know it’s a popular slot. I’m a regular at this salon, not too close to the owner but the employees and the owner know me since that’s where I usually go throughout the year anyway.
So what happened? The salon calls me up and tells me the person who was supposed to tend to me for my appointment wanted to cancel because someone else was interested in my slot with her and the other client was willing to pay 100% tip.
I ask if she’s serious, she says yes. I ask if there’s anyone else available for that slot (I’m not picky) and they say everything else is booked for 8 am, but there’s a spot at 5 pm. I tell them that time is absolutely impossible. They ask if I can come the day before but I can’t since I work.
I started getting angry and ask to speak to the owner but she says the owner isn’t available for the rest of the week.
I tell them they’re being completely unprofessional and that if they cancel on me I wouldn’t be returning there. They scoff and half-heartedly apologize and hang up on me.
So, I remove a 5-star review I left a long time ago and leave a 1-star review instead because I was furious. I explain in my review everything, from making the appointment months in advance, being a regular, to canceling on me for a higher tip, and the attitude over the phone.
A couple of days pass and I get a call from the owner, she tells me she feels embarrassed that she was gone when this happened, that she would’ve never allowed her employees to treat a regular like they did me. She says after consideration she decided to let go of the woman who canceled on me, gave more training to the woman who was on the phone with me and asked me if I would reconsider coming back, that she would personally handle my appointment.
I told her that since I was treated well in the past I would remove the 1-star review, but since I was known there I wasn’t comfortable coming back. I was able to make an appointment at another salon.
My family members are saying I should’ve just let it go and not escalate it and caused someone to get fired. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Wanting To Get To Know My Husband's Daughter That He Gave Up?
“I (23) recently gave birth to twin girls when I found out my husband (34) has a teenage daughter who is 16 years old.
I am very active on social media and post cute photos of my twins on there, my husband’s daughter (let’s call her Sophia) happened to find my account and messaged, saying that she’s my husband’s daughter and that she found my account when I was still pregnant with my twins, that she’d been too shy to message me but has finally found the courage and is wondering if she could meet her new baby sisters someday.
I of course was a little freaked out because I never heard of my husband having any other children so I asked her a bunch of questions and if she had any proof that her claims were true, she provided a birth certificate with my husband’s name and signature and a photo of a younger version of my husband holding a baby.
Now when I brought Sophia up to my husband he at first denied everything for about 10 mins of our argument, until he finally admitted it and said he signed away full custody and doesn’t want anything to do with her, that broke my heart because I grew up without a father and know how much pain it caused me.
I asked my husband to please just let Sophie see her sisters, that my children deserve to be able to know their biological sister, he refused and said what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
So I decided to take matters into my own hand and invited Sophia over when her dad wasn’t home, I had a great time meeting her, I made her some tacos which she told me was her favorite food and we enjoyed the time spent together as a family.
My husband found out because Sophia posted some pictures of herself with her little sisters and my husband saw them. He follows her with a fake account.
He got extremely angry at me and claimed that I betrayed him, called his daughter a jerk, and said that she was a mistake and was never supposed to be born, that he was young and immature when he had her and just wants to forget that part of his life.
I feel like she’s a human being and deserves to get to know this side of her family, it isn’t fair to her that she was forgotten about or just buried in the past. I want my daughters to be a part of Sophia’s life, Sophia seems like a good person and means well, I felt as if I made her day.
Am I the jerk for inviting my husband’s daughter over?”
8. AITJ For Keeping An Unflattering Photo Of My MIL In My Bathroom?
“My husband and I have been married for five years and his mom is the bane of my existence. She is the death-by-a-thousand-cuts type and manages to be smug and condescending while playing it off as being dumb.
I’m not feminine enough for her, her son doesn’t make enough money, and I’m not the doting wife she envisioned. In short, we embarrass her.
MIL is a huge girly girl, super vain, and cares a lot about how she looks. She viewed my wedding as her little beauty pageant and acted like she was the one getting married. I gave her a lot of leeway because she was going through a divorce and lashing out.
She broke down crying and had a rare genuine moment, and then I was just like forget it, you can have your too-light, too-sparkly dress, it obviously means a lot to you.
Anyway, the night before the wedding she and FIL, her soon-to-be ex, got into a little fight at the rehearsal dinner and left, to go duke it out in the hall.
One thing led to another and FIL’s partner found them in bed together that night. She is a special kind of petty and went out and bought actual black ink, like for a pen, and doused them both in it while they slept to mark them as unfaithful, but more so MIL, because you know, sexism and it is the always the woman’s fault.
This stuff would not wash off. Half of her hair was dyed black while the other half was very very blonde. One cheek was black and it was awful. She spent all morning scrubbing, but to no avail. She was freaking out and wanted to skip the wedding because she was so embarrassed, but my mom talked her down, and my photographer promised that he could edit all pictures to make her look normal. She ended up getting another dress last minute, to draw less attention I guess, and sulked the day of, but the photographer worked his magic and my pictures came out great.
Also MIL and FIL are very happily back together, and at least FIL can laugh about that day.
I did however ask him for a copy of the original, because come on it’s funny. I keep it on display in my bathroom and when MIL boundary stomps I look at it.
I pretty much forgot because it’s been years and I stopped paying attention. I hosted my in-laws recently and BIL’s toddler urinated all over my bathroom during a tantrum and his mom was making him clean it, cue massive screaming and crying, and that was going to take a while, so I told MIL she could use the master bathroom because I’m an idiot and I forgot.
MIL came out upset and demanded to know why I had that picture. I said it was my wedding picture and I can display it wherever I want it. She began to throw a fit about how I hate her and I enjoy seeing her suffer and this is proof that I’ve always hated her.
FIL tried to calm her down and said it was objectively funny and he has a picture of her with the ink, flipping him off, in his home office. She said that was different because he loves her, but I’m just a bad person and it’s different because I’m a woman.
I had to text her today and she still seems a bit sulky.”
7. AITJ For Converting To My Husband's Religion?
“So I (28F) for background context was raised Hindu and had two very strict parents growing up.
My dad was very emotionally distant and had a lot of problematic views about all kinds of people. My mother was overly controlling and spent most of my teenage years trying to make me the ideal version of a daughter she had in mind. I resented my family hugely and as soon as I had the chance, I ran away to university and never really looked back.
Nowadays I keep them at an arm’s length and only see them twice a year or so but I’m planning on cutting them off pretty soon.
So I met Zach (32M) through work and we’ve been together for about 4 years now. He had a totally different upbringing to me and when he proposed 2 and a half years ago, I decided to convert to his faith.
I didn’t do it purely for him or anything because I had been interested in his religion for a while and so when he proposed, I kickstarted the process. The conversion process was finally completed back in July and then a month later, we married. I dote on my in-laws and the way they treat me with love and kindness has always shocked me a little because I never had it growing up.
I didn’t invite my parents or anybody in my family because I know they would’ve absolutely disapproved of Zach (mainly because he’s not Indian or Hindu). Me and Zach don’t plan on having kids for a few years but the agreement would be that our kids would grow up exposed to Indian culture and would grow up with the two Indian languages I grew up speaking.
But they’d also be raised as Reform Jews until they were old enough to make an informed decision about what they wanted to be.
One of my cousins dropped by completely by surprise last week and was totally surprised to find Zach in my apartment. She noticed our wedding picture and stormed out of the apartment.
Long story short, my phone is now blowing up with messages from multiple family members saying I’ve betrayed them and that my parents are going to die from grief. I’ve had a voice call from my mother screaming at me about how I’ve failed them once again as a daughter by ditching the religion I was born with and that I’ve always been a failure.
I’ve blocked their numbers for the sake of my sanity. Zach’s suggested leaving the country and I’m seriously thinking about it.
AITJ? Zach’s family insists I’m not and they personally think my family are psychos but at the same time all the guilt-tripping I’m being put through is starting to get to me.
I know converting is a huge deal and everything but at the same time I doubt my parents would’ve been supportive.”
6. AITJ For Wanting To Move Out After My Dad Caused Me To Have A Panic Attack?
“I (17F) was in a car crash with my uncle in January of 2019.
I have some PTSD because of it and tend to flinch every now and again if a car comes too fast/close on my left. I’m getting better about it and I’m so proud of myself. Anyway, a few weeks ago my mom, dad, sister, and I are coming home from eating out for dinner.
My dad is driving and he’s had a few drinks.
He wasn’t inebriated but it still made me feel anxious. Our house is at the end of a winding dirt road (there are also many winding roads just to get to the dirt road). I had already told my dad a few minutes earlier that I was feeling anxious but he just brushed me off by saying okay.
When we got to the dirt road he decided to speed up and try to drift on the turns. I freaked out since it triggered me, I started to shake while crying and hyperventilating.
I was yelling at my dad to stop but he had the music really loud and couldn’t hear me.
My sister noticed and told my dad to stop. When he realized I was having a panic attack he got angry at me and started yelling at me. He kept saying that he was trying to have fun with his girls and that I needed to stop because I was being dramatic.
He also said that he wasn’t going fast and that I needed to stop. I couldn’t help it and I kept crying and hyperventilating. I ran into the house and I was still hyperventilating so I decided to call my friend Asher (18M) and he helped me calm down. Once I was able to calm my breathing I began to explain what happened.
Asher was angry since he knew that my dad has anxiety and has had panic attacks before. He started comforting me telling me that I would be 18 soon and that I could come live with him while I finish school since he knows my dad has said/done some crappy things to me, my sister, and my mom.
I agreed and made plans to move in with him after my 18th birthday. Somehow, I honestly don’t know how my dad found out about Asher asking me to move and he’s not happy. He started yelling at me saying that if I move in with Asher I would essentially be dead to him and that I could no longer have a relationship with my family.
He asked me how I could do that to him and that I bashed him to my friend. Saying that I made him look like a bad person. He went on to say that I should not have done that and that I shouldn’t bash my parents to friends. He again brought up the fact that I was being over dramatic about the situation and that it’s been almost three years and that I should be over the car crash.
He then tells me that he’s been in much worse car crashes even once his car ended up in a canal and that he is just fine.
It makes me think that I am being over dramatic and that I shouldn’t move in with him. So AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Going Off At My Dentist For Not Listening To Me?
Basically, my dentist was refusing to give me the correct medication.
I have had many teeth pulled and have never had an issue getting the correct medication. Nothing else works on me. I dislike oxy and Tylenol 3 gives me migraines. And I informed him of this on our first visit, so I didn’t expect any issues.
The first visit I was given Tylenol 3 and antibiotics.
Even though I stated several times that Tylenol 3 gives me migraines. They also offered several times to pull an infected tooth, which has never gone well for anyone. Once the swelling went down, 3 days later. I was in intense pain because the nerve was exposed. When I called and told them this they said come right in and we will pull the tooth.
I said I was at work and would prefer we do it Saturday as planned. If they could give me something for the pain until then. They said no come in or wait. So they are not listening to me but I’m in so much pain I take off work and go in.
I don’t have the funds to be taking off work. My husband meets me there for support. I inform them that I’m anxious about this and in a lot of pain. They pull the tooth.
He starts to explain how the Tylenol 3 will be fine. I let him know once again, it doesn’t work and gives me migraines.
He says I didn’t give it a chance. And just take it. I tell him that’s not going to happen as I’m in enough pain already. He’s trying to explain why I’m wrong about how my body feels on that medication and no one gets headaches from headache medication. I told him to please stop talking as I’m now having an anxiety attack.
He says I’ll be fine and continues to talk. I say I’m not fine stop talking. He doesn’t. I yell shut up and get out of here now. As he is in my way and I cannot exit until he does. And then begin to sob because I’m in so much pain and emotional. They give me no medication and send me home.
I apologize to everyone I see as I’m leaving and let them know I had a bad anxiety attack. They say they understand.
I call the next morning to see if they can call in the antibiotics and pain meds as it didn’t happen the day before. They don’t call back.
At the end of the day I wrote out a form for the dental commission to look into this dentist as he was wrong and it was strange. It says I have to inform them. I send a text and get no response. The next day my husband calls and they tell him IF I send the notice to the dental commission, THEN they will call the cops and charge me with assault.
This sounds super weird and threatening. I may have just been in a lot of pain and freaked out. But I seriously think there’s something wrong with the practice as well. (They banned my whole family from coming back ever) so do I need a lawyer? AITJ?
4. AITJ For Not Wanting To Decrease My Daughter's Portion Sizes?
“For background, my husband’s parents were very strict about food growing up. They restricted him in what he could eat and shamed him for eating anything they deemed ‘bad’. They didn’t teach him how to have a good relationship with food, and subsequently this led to him sneaking in junk food as a teenager and going crazy once he moved out of home.
He gained a lot of weight because he was eating all the things he couldn’t eat as a kid and had no sense of self-regulation. On the other hand, my parents forbid any diet talk in the house and didn’t categorize foods as good or bad, and as a result I have a great relationship with food.
There was also zero talk of weight in our household which is something I want to carry out now as I raise our child.
My husband and I have an 11-year-old daughter together and so far things have been going really well. She’s never been a skinny kid, but she’s at a perfectly healthy weight for her age and height.
Lately she’s hit a growth spurt and I swear she grew 3 inches taller in 3 months. She’s had a bigger appetite and has been going for seconds at dinner or having slightly bigger portions at meals. She’s a good eater and she’ll eat all her veggies. It’s not like we’re pulling teeth to get her to eat spinach or anything.
With her growth, she’s obviously gained a little weight as you do when you get taller/eat more/get all those pre-teenage hormones working. She’s still healthy. She’s still playing basketball and swimming and doing everything she loves.
But despite this, my husband really wants to begin monitoring her portion sizes and not letting her go for seconds, or letting her eat chips or lollies at all.
I put my foot down and told him absolutely not, because that’s a quick way to fast-track an ED at her age.
He told me he doesn’t want her to be fat like him. I told him the reason for his weight is due to his parents’ attitude towards food, and that if having a fat daughter is so terrifying then we should be encouraging her to have a healthy outlook on all kinds of foods and not restricting.
I also said he should be more scared of having a daughter with an eating disorder than having a fat daughter.
He called his parents, who have never had anything nice to say about my daughter’s weight. His mum was your typical “always on a diet mum” and it really messed up his sister.
This is the last thing I want for my daughter and I feel like I’m being attacked by them.”
3. AITJ For Telling My Nephew The Truth About Why I Don't Talk To His Dad?
“This is a family conflict that came up recently. I, male 46, used to work in the military so I was away from home most of the time.
When my then only son was 3 yo, I discovered by accident that he wasn’t mine. He was my older brother’s. It was the most devastating time in my life aside from what I was dealing with.
My ex-wife and I ended up divorcing and I cut contact with my brother for years.
I was done with him even after my ex-wife, who he married the same year of the divorce, died suddenly. My parents thought my ex’s death was supposed to make everything ok as they claimed she was the one who drove a wedge between me and my brother, but I kept my distance.
My nephew started reaching out to me and we began seeing each other more often when he was around 15. He has always been told that the fight between me and my brother was about business. My parents threatened to disown me if I told my nephew that his mother was my ex and that I should leave it alone, which I did since they said if they had to choose, they’d pick their grandson.
My nephew tried to get me to meet my brother so we could talk since my brother welcomed the idea, but I refused. I made it clear to him that he needed to stop forcing a reunion and he respected my wishes.
He’s now 21 and is getting married in November.
He sent an invitation which I declined and returned right away. He called to ask why and I said I’m no contact with his dad so I won’t come since he will be there. My nephew refused to accept that and came over and started criticizing me saying I’m being unnecessarily bitter and resentful towards his apologetic dad over some business, and said he cannot believe how much hate and grudge I keep inside me against his dad.
He said I either try to work things out with his dad or he will not be seeing me again.
I felt hesitant at first but then told him his dad and I don’t have a usual beef and that his mother was my ex-wife who his dad messed around with while I was in the military.
My nephew denied saying his dad and grandparents never told him that. He thought I was lying until I showed him enough proof to get him to change his tone. He left in a hurry and was enraged. I later found out via my parents that my nephew canceled all my family’s wedding invitations, put the wedding on hold, and disappeared after he had a huge argument with them and disowned his dad.
My father got very sick after this incident and my entire family keep harassing me saying I ruined everyone’s life with what I did because of my hate and resentment towards my brother. They said they warned me not to talk and now I should deal with the consequences of alienating their grandson/nephew from them.”
2. AITJ For Not Wanting To Obey My Husband's Birthday Month Rules?
“My husband is turning 30 next month. It’s a big deal for him clearly and he wanted to rightfully be “pampered” and feel special on this occasion.
But the thing is that he came up with a list and called it “birthday month expectations.” I didn’t know what that meant til he started reading the list out loud which consists of things he expects throughout the entire month.
To give a few examples:
- He is not to be asked to do any type of chores or clean or cook for a month.
- He gets to play with his Xbox for hours on end without me interrupting or nagging him about it.
- He is not to pay his part of rent this month.
- He gets to go out with his friends whenever he wants.
- He gets to skip any given workday and sleep in without being bothered to wake up to drive our son to school or do any emergency fixes.
In other words, he wants a month-long vacation and time off from his responsibilities as a partner and as a father. I said are you being serious right now and he made a face and said “oh no worries this will only last for a month.” I called him ridiculous and said absolutely not I do not agree with anything on that list and said that his expectations for his birthday month were out of line.
Now I have to mention that we both work but I do the majority of household chores and the majority of our son’s care as well as the majority of rent, bills, and internet payments and I cannot afford to do what he’s expecting me to do because we’re struggling already and I need his help especially now.
Not for him to make demands. He pitched a fit giving me grief about how I’m being selfish towards his wants and that in my place he would’ve agreed to do all he could to make my “Birthday Month” the happiest month of the year for me. I argued that birthday month is unheard of and just flat-out ridiculous but he said that I don’t understand because his parents did this for him for years and so did his friends (he never told me) so as his wife I should be happy to do it as well but I declined and refused to take it and keep arguing about it but he hasn’t stopped talking about how disappointed he was that I treat his birthday like that and has been avoiding being near me making me feel like maybe I went too far here.
AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Lashing Out At My Mom After She Told Me Who My Bio Dad Is?
“For my whole life I never knew who my biological father was, my mom and family have always been super secretive about it.
Recently my mom decided to tell me as I just turned 16 and she felt I was old enough to know now after I asked her.
She sat me down in the living room and told me that my bio dad was her ex-stepfather aka my grandmother’s ex-husband… I felt extremely disgusted and disappointed at my mom and said to her “no wonder grandma hates being around you, you couldn’t keep your legs closed long enough to keep away from grandma’s husband” and “I am completely disgusted with you, I don’t even know if I can look at you the same way.” I said a lot of other stuff, I wasn’t really kind with my words.
My mom cried and said “I’m really sorry, my actions ended up hurting a lot of people, it’s something I live with every day, just know that my actions don’t define you.”
I told my mom to save her words and went to my room, I never thought in a million years that this would be the outcome, I feel grossed out and a little disgusted with myself, everything honestly started making sense though.
The way my grandmother acts around me and how the only times I ever go to her house is on holidays when my younger siblings go to her house a lot more. There’s always been this weird tension when my mom and grandma are alone in a room or when they speak to each other, no one ever wanted to talk to me about my bio dad.
My stepdad came into my room after a few hours, he asked me how I am feeling and told me that he understands why I’m upset and I have every right to be but that doesn’t give me the right to speak to my mom the way I did and that I should apologize and went on about how my mother sacrificed a lot for me and was always there for me when I needed her.
Which is true my mom has always been an amazing mother and from what I have seen a good person, I always felt loved by her.
After my stepdad spoke to me I started feeling really bad about how I spoke to my mom but at the same time I feel like she deserves it because she betrayed my grandma.
(My mom was 19 when she got into a relationship with my bio dad and my grandma was on the edge of divorce and was living in separate houses at the time.)
AITJ for freaking out at my mom when I found out who my bio dad is?”
