People Open Up About Their "Bad To The Bone" Revenge Stories
45. Make A Mess In My Store? I'll Make A Mess In Yours
“A few years back I worked for a clothing store, and there was this girl who was a total jerk (just your typical ‘I’m better than anyone’, talking behind everyone’s backs) that used to come in very often, find a ton of clothes to try on, maybe buy one item and leave the rest of the clothes inside out, full of makeup and shoved in a corner of the changeroom.
Needless to say, we weren’t happy with her.
I didn’t get to do anything about it then, but a year later she worked in a shoe shop and I spent a good 45 minutes trying on shoes, needing different sizes they didn’t have on display. She had to run to the storage room several times.
I didn’t buy anything, just left all the shoes in a heap on the floor.”
44. Waste My Night? I'll Get The Cops To Waste Yours
“I had a couple of guys come in at 5 minutes to close (11:55) at a nice steakhouse I used to work at.
I was closing the dining room so they were at my table. I am not usually one of those servers who snubs the latecomers as a lot of times these guys are the most lucrative guests of the night. I served them perfectly as they were my only table of the night. They both were businessmen, dressed rich, and enjoyed poking fun at me, which worked fine because my sense of humour is self-deprecating anyways.
Some of the comments started to get over the line but they bought a couple of bottles of expensive wine and I kept thinking of the tip and took it all in good humour.
They sent back one of their meals because the prime rib was too well done. I had warned them of this considering the time of night but they chose to order it anyways.
I smiled and got them something else as they continued to berate me. They stayed until 1:45 am. At this point, I was very glad to see them leave as they were drunk and rude. I asked them if they needed me to call them a cab but they said no as they were within walking distance.
The bill ended up being around $300.00 (296.00) for the 2 of them.
I looked at the visa slip and realized they tipped me to round it up to 300.00. A measly $4 on $300.00 was all the remainder of my Friday night was worth to them. They smoked and chatted outside and I just happened to be leaving at the same time. Noticed they weren’t walking. Made a quick call to the cops about a drunk driver and let them know the direction they were headed. It happened to be the direction of my house.
About 5 minutes later I see a cop car behind me and I am behind him. I pull over to let the cop pass and he instantly lights em up and pulls the other guy over. As soon as they are both pulled over I continue driving and wave at the gentlemen who wasted my night. Now I have wasted theirs and we are even.”
43. I Embarrassed A Jerk Who Couldn't Take A Hint
“This weekend, I was taking the bus home from a bar at like 2 am, pretty wasted. I get on, and it’s just me, an old guy, and two cute girls sitting together.
So I sit down, start reading stuff on Reddit from my phone when this jerk type gets on and sits right behind the girls. Immediately, he has his hands on the back of their seats, and is trying and failing miserably to flirt with them. Numerous times, they ask him to stop, say they are utterly disinterested, eventually calling him ugly, and to get lost.
Still, this guy doesn’t take a hint, he keeps going on and on, saying they should come over to his place, have wine, and such since he said one of the girls looked Italian. Trying to impress them further, this smug moron says that he speaks Italian, and proceeds to try and call them beautiful young Angels in a language that he obviously doesn’t speak.
I did, and that’s where I lost it. I haven’t really gotten to practice since I spent a summer in Sicily a few years ago, but I could still tell that he had just mangled the sentence. So, loudly and pointedly, I raise my voice and say the phrase that he meant to properly, then tell him as much. Taken aback, and probably feeling dumb, he says that I probably was just making that up and didn’t know Italian.
So with the two girls now watching and giggling, I proceed to go on for about fifteen seconds in Italian about how he was a tactless, brutish, and repugnant snob. They didn’t know what I said, but he didn’t doubt my ability after that.
Instead, he just said, ‘Hey get lost dude, learn to mind your own d****d business.’
Now, this angered me.
Hypocrisy like this never ceases to amaze me, and though I’m generally pretty nonconfrontational, I was wasted, and riding public transit every day makes us guys feel horrible for all those innocent girls who have to deal with creepy old men, neckbeards, and jerks. I informed him that I would mind my own business when he learned to do the same since I’d just watched him harass the h**l out of these two poor girls who made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with him.
At this point, the girls were laughing at him, telling him to listen to me, and that he was just making himself look like an idiot. This went on for another stop or two until he starts focusing on me again, spouting nonsense, then finally getting a bit quieter when he got no reaction. I pretty much ignored him while I got a pen out of my bag and wrote my name and number down on a scrap of paper.
Now, normally I would never do this because, as evidenced above, I absolutely HATE guys that do this stuff, but I really just wanted to spite this jerk as much as I could. So when my stop came, I intently walked over to the pair of girls, smiled broadly, offered the paper, and told them to ‘Gimme a call next time a jerk won’t leave you alone.’
Both girls laughed, one enthusiastically said ‘I’ll be sure to!’ and I walked off the bus, but not before giving the jerk in question the most triumphant of smirks. The morning after, I got a text from one of the girls, thanking me for ‘fighting’ for them, and asking me if I wanted to drink and smoke in the park sometime this week. We did yesterday and really hit it off.
So in a way, I suppose I should feel rather grateful to Mr. Bus Jerk, chivalry always wins.”
42. Make Fun Of Her Speech Impediment? I'll Waste Your Time
“I was at a Craft Store in my town, and it wasn’t too busy, but only one register was open.
The cashier, a teenaged girl, I could tell was working as best as she could. The process was a tad slower however because she had a stutter and a bit of a lisp.
As she worked through the line, asking the usual questions probably mandated by the big wigs (I’ve worked in retail, it’s a thing), the man behind me began to huff and puff.
He muttered something about having places to go, he was in a hurry, etc. I ignored him until I heard him start to mock her to his kids.
‘W-w-would you l-like y-y-y-y-y-y-your reSCHKeet?’
The kids began to laugh. It really made my b***d boil. Especially since I could tell the cashier heard his mockery. That really made my b***d boil. When a person doesn’t respect retail employees as people, it’s the best way to tell whether a person is a jerk or not.
So, when it was my turn at the register, she asked me in a small voice ‘Are you a member of the rewards club?’ And I looked smugly at the guy behind me, and back at her.
Me: The rewards club? Oooo that sounds great! Please explain it to me?
She seemed surprised at first, but then looked at the guy behind me, and then it clicked.
I have never given my information so slowly in my life. Never had I asked as many questions as I did. She smiled and answered my inquiries, while the guy behind me was seething.
Him: Can you hurry up, please?
Me: And miss out on these great rewards? As if!
I only held him up for about 5 minutes… but it felt so good.”
41. Bully Me? I'll Cover Your Clothes In Red Ants
“Being really small, (currently 4’11 so just imagine me in middle school) I got bullied a lot. I was never a violent child so I never tried to fight back and just sat there and cried after they were done. I live in a tropical country so we have lots of Mango trees here. And you know what lives in those kinds of trees?
Large red ants that bite like crazy. So what do I do when I see them? I collect some and wait until it’s gym class and those mean girls need to change. I then wait until they’re out, take out those little ants, and sprinkle them inside their shoes, socks, and add the itty-bitty ones in their undies and bras. Jerks never knew what hit them until it was too late.
Watching them struggle not to scratch their crotches in the middle of class is the most satisfying thing ever.”
40. Break My Heart? I'll Make You Quit Your Job
“Backstory: I dated a girl for 4 years, the relationship had its ups and downs but I loved her, and put up with a lot, like not calling me for days at a time, etc… She had a bad and stressful job that paid well and she needed to pay back student loans, car, etc. One day after blowing me off for three weeks, she tells me via text she met someone else and it’s over and she’ll be over when she can to pick up her things.
When she does come to pick them up she doesn’t say more than a few words and leaves in under 15 minutes.
The Revenge: A month goes by during which I drunk texted her a few times saying I missed her, what happened, etc. The next time I texted her happened to be the fourth of July. I was in a surprisingly good mood drinking and partying with some friends and I text her, almost verbatim, ‘Hey sorry things didn’t work out, I wish it could have been different, but I hope things are better with work and you’re figuring out whatever it is you needed to and I wish you the best.’
A few hours later, after much more partying I look at my phone to see a text from her. It is a picture message of her and this new guy, who happens to be her client, on vacation in Arizona, with the words ‘move on, I did.’ Boom. Something went off in my head, I was furious!!! Four years of my life and you didn’t have the balls or respect to break up with me in person, you lied to me and cheated on me with this guy and another guy before that, and now this??!!?
I responded saying that was the most cold-hearted thing anyone has ever done to me and she could go screw herself. I proceed to get wasted and pass out. The next day the evil wheels are turning in my head, and I get the idea to take that photo and email it to all her bosses at the place she works. They have a strict no romantic relationship with the clientele policy, and if she wanted to be cold and mean I could do the same.
All it took was a quick google search to get everyone’s email addresses, and so I sent the email and that was that. Maybe a couple of weeks later her mom called me to see how I was doing, cause her mom really liked me. I said fine, still trying to figure it all out, but I was ok. I asked about my ex, how she was, what she was doing, etc. Turn out her bosses got the email, at least from what I could infer because apparently there had been some issue at work and she had decided to quit.”
39. Bad Security Guard Gets Caught Partying And Finally Gets Fired
“I lived in an apartment in LA that had no parking, so we had to fight for spots on the street. After about $300 in parking tickets, I decided to approach the real estate broker who was selling the house across the street from my building and explained to him I would rent the driveway at the vacant house for $100/month.
He called the seller, the seller agreed and I reveled in outwitting the LA parking jerks.
However, this being LA, everyone in my building saw me park in the vacant driveway and started parking there as well. 99% of the time, it ended well, with me explaining that I rented it and they couldn’t park there. The 1% wasn’t pleasant.
I got in really late one night (because of architecture school) and found someone parked in my spot.
Got mad, parked behind them anyway, figured that I had to leave early anyway and they could get out of the spot. I even prepped a note for their windshield.
Cut to 7 am, when I stepped outside to drive to campus. A GIANT angry man named Randy started cussing me out before I even crossed the street. Called me a few choice epithets, threatened to hurt me, etc. Got the h**l into my car, drove away.
I later called my building manager who explained that he’s a security guard at a different apartment complex, he has something like 3 restraining orders against him, and she’s been desperately trying to find a way to evict him (in CA, it’s almost impossible to evict someone who’s paying their rent on time, in full, even if they are the worst person ever).
He runs into me in the halls, calls me more names, leaves gross adult entertainment taped to my door (I’m gay, maybe he was trying to convert me?)… I had enough, but never had any proof for a police report or ammo against him.
Cut to a week later. my best friend is a gorgeous girl named Leigh. Leigh was talking about a party she went to at an apartment complex near campus. She explained that the party got rowdy and one of the security guards had come to shut it down, but the girls charmed him into staying and getting wasted. She starts showing me photos on her camera (pre-smartphones) and laughs hysterically.
The security guard? Randy. Also included are photos of him making out with girls, taking shots… goldmine.
I borrow the camera, make a few choice 8×10 glossies, and leave them in a manila envelope on the apartment complex manager’s desk.
Next week, randy and his posse are hauling his neon orange couch out of the complex, and my apartment manager bought me a case of beer – he moved in with his parents because he got fired.”
38. Keep Stealing My Drinks? You Won't Like The Taste Of The Next One
“I was working clearing out an office floor of a company that was moving. Some office buildings turn off their AC on weekends so it was hot. I went to the pop machine and got a can of Five Alive for $1.50. Drank about 1/4 of the can and set it down to continue working.
I came back 10 – 15 minutes later and it was gone. There were a few people working in the area, so I asked one of the guys if he drank my Five Alive and said it loud enough so they could all hear. Of course, he just said no and gave me a dirty look. I was still thirsty so went back and got another Five Alive.
I took another drink and set it back in the same place, 10 minutes later… the can is empty again. This time I yell ‘Who is stealing my drink?’ …of course, nobody responds.
I’m angry now, I go back to the vending machine and get another Five Alive. Go to the bathroom and my buddy Kevin is there taking a pee, I empty half of the can into the urinal and proceed to refill it.
Kevin asks what I am doing and I tell him not to say anything until I tell him he can. I go back out and set the can in the same place and the same guys are still working in the area. In a daring way, I yell ‘This time nobody touch my drink!’
I come back 10 minutes later and it’s half empty… After the job was finished and everybody is at the loading dock (about 12 of us) I ask who had been stealing my drinks and one of the guys says for me to stop complaining about a stupid drink.
Ok, I turn to Kevin who has been dying to say something, and I say go ahead, tell ’em. Kevin, like a school kid, yells out ‘He peed in the last can!!!’ Everybody cracks up laughing, everybody but one person… my supervisor. He didn’t say a word, got in his car a drove away. The next day at work my manager calls me into the office and tells me that my supervisor filed a complaint against me.
I told them my side of the story and they were not going to punish me because it was my drink. 3 Five Alive’, $4.50, my supervisor drinks my pee…priceless!”
37. Be Rude To Me? I'll Sell The Game To The Nice Customer
“I work at GameStop. A customer had bought both the collectors edition of Halo 4 and the new Halo 360, so he didn’t need the extra copy that came bundled with the system. Anyways, he sold it back to us.
Cool.
The next person in line is this 14-15-year-old boy. He saw the guy trade in the game and asked to buy it. I asked if he had a parent with him, and he told me she was in the car, and she won’t come in. I was pretty empathetic, saying ‘Sorry buddy, but I have to get your mom’s permission.’ I’m about to move on to the next person in line when he shoves his phone in my face and says his mom wants to talk to me, and she’s mad.
I wasn’t going to dignify the lazy woman by telling her over the phone, so I explained to the kid that I needed to ask her in person.
A couple of minutes later she comes in, cuts the line, puts her finger in my face, and says, ‘My son plays these mature games all the time and he can have whatever the h**l he wants.
How dare you make me come in here. I should smack you, you jerk.’ To which I responded, ‘Well ma’am, I’m deeply sorry, but now there’s no chance he’s getting this one.’
I walked back to my register and sold the new copy of Halo (for the pre-owned price) to an eager father and son in line and they were very grateful.”
36. I Let Her Car Whizz Past Me Right In Front Of The Cops
“Last week I went to a car dealer almost 6 hours away to pick up a car.
I’m not too far away from the dealer going home and I see this black Merc C class with one working daytime running light weaving and darting around getting closer. The lady and her passenger finally catch up and pass me.
Ugh, Ontario plates, now I know what to expect.
She didn’t let me down either. Any sign of a turn in the road or a bridge and she slams on the brakes down to 65. Once clear she guns it back up to 80ish. All the while driving like she was distracted by her phone or something. I was hoping she didn’t crash simply because I didn’t have a camera recording.
At least there are a few road changes coming up for me so I’ll jump between some interstates. I’ll lose her in that.
Nope.
Around the 90 miles later of playing leapfrog with her, I watched a semi almost flatten her because she tried to pass him in the slow lane, couldn’t get by, and then just sat in his blind spot for a few miles.
Happy for him he saw her because that would have ruined his day. Happy for me because I would probably have scratched my new car on her flying debris.
The century mark passes and we are now in NY. The C class jerk is still with me. Falling behind and rocketing ahead.
Let me set the stage for you. I’m in the fast lane with the lady behind me.
The slow lane is mostly semi-trucks with some cars peppered in. I could move over at any time and let her pass but the openings are too small even for her to squeeze by. NY decided that this section of route 81 was 55mph so the slow lane is going roughly 60 and I’m going 65.
Got that mental picture? Good.
All of a sudden the V1 goes crazy.
Two strong KA signals dead ahead. We get a little farther up the road and I see the turnaround. They have got to be tucked in there. Now I could be nice. I could just stay in that lane and block. I could try and warn her. No, the situation is too perfect. The driving gods are with me 100% on this trip. This was meant to be.
I hold off as we get closer and closer. I can now see it is two cops side by side talking. I only hope that they are actively paying attention and not just chatting.
We get about 300 feet away and I slide over. Predictably she rockets past me. I estimate she got up to at least 80. About 50 feet from the cops she SLAMS on the brakes.
Oops, I think they noticed. She slides over in front of me and slows down to 60 with the rest of the traffic. I’m just cruising behind her because I want to watch the fun. I’m hoping so hard to see the lights in my rearview. I have the strangest thought that this is the only time ever I WANTED to see lights behind me. We are cresting a hill and I will lose sight shortly.
My smile is fading.
Just as the cops begin to dip under the hill out of my sight I see them. Glorious blue and red flashes. My smile is huge. I hope she can see me laughing my butt off at her. Statey comes flying up the road all lit up and floats next to her in the fast lane for a bit to run her plates.
Half a mile later he slides in behind for the kill. I just pass in the fast lane and continue on my merry way.”
35. Want Me To Do All The Work? Okay, But You'll Get A Failing Grade
“I was in my first year of college, doing a Business PLC course in Ireland, (Community College) and I had one MEMORABLE group assignment.
It was a tough enough assignment/project, it involved enterprise and communications. About 3000 words and a presentation. Manageable but not something you could do overnight in your first year. The assignment could be done in either a group or individually, I just decided to do it myself, keep it simple.
No big deal save for the fact I was one of three who did their own sole work.
Also, it’s worth noting that I was 17 at the time, in Ireland you can (legally) drink, go to clubs, get a full driving licence, you basically can do very little socially. H**l, I couldn’t go to most ‘mainstream’ colleges because of my age. You’ll see why that’s important later.
Now in my class, there were these two women who were your stereotypical ‘lazy hot rich girls’. They were intelligent but they were intelligent in other areas than Business. They were the type of girls who’d go and party nearly every night and relied on their looks and the size of their chests to get by. They could do the work but simply were rather lazy or disinterested, unless they could do an assignment around music or clothes, they just did the bare minimum and used other students (mainly guys) to do their work.
They would either bribe or bully the other students to do their work.
And not to put too fine a point on it: They just thought they were better than everyone else. They would insult anyone who they thought wouldn’t be useful. Indeed because of my age, they nicknamed me ‘Little one’ and threw out other age related jokes etc, you can guess the types.
Indeed most of the class weren’t fond of them.
Now fast forward to about 5 days before the project is due and both girls haven’t even started the project. I was nearly finished. They go looking for help from the other 2 solo workers asking to join the group, no luck, so they come to me. Now I didn’t want to let them in on the project, you can guess why; I’d do all the work, they’d get credit.
They try flirting, no luck, they try bribing me with cash, tempting but I got greedy and asked for too much. In the end, they just insulted me until I agreed just to get rid of them.
However, they didn’t count on one little factor, the ‘group assessment’ part of the project. It’s a simple piece. Usually, in a 3 person group, each person does 33%, a 4 person 25% and so on.
Also in the presentation piece, you would give details on who worked on each section.
Well, they had no clue about this part of the assignment.
Presentation day comes around and of course, the girls haven’t asked for any details, they just expect me to do the presentation while they manage the slides. We go through the presentation, we do alright and we come to the end of the assignment where we talk about what we did.
At this point, I pass to the girls, and………they’re stuck! They haven’t done any of the work and only saw the results of the project that morning, they wouldn’t have memorized it.
Neither girl can recall any major detail save the title of the project and the opening lines. Everyone in the class, including the lecturer, lets them hum and haw and try to work things out for about 5 minutes before the lecturer simply asks us all to sit down.
I sit down, the girls walk out of the classroom. Fast forward to the next day, I gained a solid mark, the girls didn’t get any points and from then on, no one else in the class was willing to do the girls work for them.
They were forced to work their butts off for the rest of the year on their own as no one was willing to help them.
They got their passes but it wasn’t easy. They threw eggs at me for a week whenever I left college but I didn’t care. Also got a LOT of free lunches as thanks from my friends.
The girls also had to start paying back a lot of the guys in college for their free meals, trips to and from college, about 8 grand worth and return half of their wardrobe of clothes they had ‘borrowed’ from their friends as everyone saw through their tricks.”
34. Ghost Me? I'll Leave You For Another Guy When You Want Me Back
“A guy in my town asked me out on a date. I had a wonderful first, and then second date with him. On the third date, we slept together, and then like a charm, he was gone. It upset me, but it was all so fast that I understood why. 4 months later he randomly contacted me and wanted to meet up again. On the day that he contacted me, I was in a particularly bad mood and I was very frustrated with men in general. I happily told him I would meet him for a drink, and then I called one of my guy friends, who happens to be a pretty big/scary-looking guy.
So I show up at the bar and sit down with guy 1…It’s awkward and obvious to me that he just wants to get a few drinks in me so he can hook up with me. After about 10 minutes, guy 2 (my friend) sends a drink down the bar to me. I act completely surprised and wave at my friend. Guy 1 gets really quiet like he doesn’t know what to do and guy 2 walks over to me at the bar, he touches my forearm, looks me straight in the eye, and says, ‘hey cutie, what’s your name?’ I tell him and continue to act surprised and have this deer-in-the-headlights smile plastered on my face.
My friend then asks me if I wanna ‘Get out of here.’ I say, “sure,” and just hop up and leave with him, leaving guy 1 sputtering at the bar.
Yeah I know I’m a jerk.”
33. Be Mean To Your Kid? We'll Tamper With Your Fishing Gear
“Last summer I worked for a guide service. We went out at midnight and trolled for stripers and hybrids. One night we had a man and his son out on our boat.
His son was about 12. The kid was very nice but you could tell that his father was a total jerk. So the kid hooks up to a fish, a fairly nice one, might I add, but loses it. His dad then proceeds to yell at him. The captain and I just sit there, shocked, and then the captain says he has to check the bait on the dad’s side of the boat.
While the guy is sitting there, the captain smears motor oil on the hook. These fish are very sensitive and can tell whether or not the stuff got tampered with. The dad doesn’t catch any fish the rest of the night, while his son catches a boatload. The dad even has the nerve to demand switching sides, at which point the captain just switched the rods.”
32. I Convinced The Facebook Prankster That He Won A Lottery
“One of my friends was a chronic change-peoples-birthdays’-in-Facebook whenever he had the chance. He changed my birthday twice when I’d leave my laptop around him. The first time was funny but the 2nd time some people caught on, and even more people didn’t (what does that tell you about Facebook ‘friends’?).
Anyway, I was annoyed at this point and I created a prank that was somewhat elaborate.
During this time, a new club opened in our city and was desperately trying to get a chunk of the nightlife business so it was offering contests with generous bar tabs. Word spread on Facebook and with our group of friends, a few of which we knew who actually won it.
Knowing this I decided to craft an email that looked like a legitimate email from this club saying ‘congrats on your win of a $500 bar tab!’ and blah blah blah. I even created a Gmail account with a legit-looking name (there’s a lesson to this kids, don’t trust Gmail emails).
But the payload was hidden near the end of the email in a link titled ‘Click here to confirm your registration!’ The URL didn’t go to the companies website, instead, it went to a page I created with a gif collage of U MAD BROs and stuff.
As if that wasn’t enough, I created a Skype account just to call him from a number he didn’t recognize, posing to be a David from Club X. He didn’t pick up, but I did leave a message. About 20 minutes after I did all of this, I get invited to a group chat hosted by none other than my target himself.
‘GUYS GUYS YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT!
I WON THE $500 TAB!!!’
We’re all congratulating him and whatnot (the other guys in the chat happened to be in on it as well which made it even funnier). He was even telling his coworkers about it.
Then abruptly he goes: Screw you guys.
Then leaves the chat. He was salty about it for a week.”
31. I Made My Evil Stepmother Go Bald
“When I was growing up, my parents had been divorced (not a big deal) but my dad had remarried to a woman who was the closest thing to satan I have ever personally met. I hated this woman with every fiber of my being.
So a couple of years pass and I have two younger brothers, with whom I am very close. Well, evil stepmom constantly abused me: verbal, physical, emotional, the whole nine yards. We are from a relatively small town in California and had an average-sized house, but one bathroom. So another day comes where she abuses me and I go to take a shower, and I notice that her shampoo is out (she usually hides it for some reason) and I notice that we have a bottle of Nair under the sink.
Keep in mind, I was probably no older than 13, and decide to put some of it in her shampoo. Not enough to burn or anything, just a little. Well about a week later, she begins freaking out, screaming, and running through the house. My dad is trying to figure out what the h**l happened and sees her. She had started losing her hair and to this day has bleach marks on her head.
She and my dad divorced a few years later, but every time I see that small bald spot I laugh and laugh. I have absolutely no regrets.”
30. I Stopped The Cheaters From Cheating And A Record Number Of Students Failed
“Years ago in my high school AP economics class I was assigned to sit in the corner of the room where I was flanked by a handful of very popular, very lazy kids.
After every exam, the teacher would announce (much to my chagrin) my ‘high score’ to the class.
After a particularly challenging exam where I scored 93%, the teacher announced that the guy to my right (let’s call him Matt) had ALSO scored 93%, his friend behind him 90%, and the friend behind HIM 90%! Needless to say, I vacillated between self-doubt and suspicion for a few days before I finally ‘congratulated’ one of the 90%’ers on his score.
With an impish grin, he admitted that his friend Matt had been cheating off of me for months and ‘thanked’ me for helping ‘so many people do so well’ in the class. The petty revenge gears started turning in my head for what seemed like ages before I replied ‘no problem, I’m just glad to help!’
At the next exam, I put my paper in a very clear view of Matt.
He had been told that I was now willing to ‘help’ him and his friends. I circled all wrong answers while making a special mark for the correct ones. Just before the time was up, I quickly changed my answers back when nobody was looking, turned in my exam, and smugly walked back to my seat.
What I didn’t know at the time was that the cheating conspiracy didn’t just involve the kids sitting next to me, but that my answers were written down and forwarded to the next 4 periods, all of which took an identical test.
One week later a record 22 people failed the exam. Matt empathetically remarked, ‘Oh man, Accidentally_Upvotes, did you fail too!?’ I flipped over my sheet: 100%.
Nobody ever cheated off me in that class again.”
Another User Comments:
“Wait, and the teacher was that stupid that they didn’t notice something was up? Wow….. talk about someone who shouldn’t be teaching.” AscendedAncient
Reply:
“The teacher was pretty fantastic and engaging but was notoriously ambivalent to cheaters.
I never figured out why.
Actually, another good thing that came of the teacher singling me out was that a really pretty girl who also happened to be a famous actress (starred in a few TV shows) asked for my help. I ended up tutoring her after school at the local coffee shop once per week for the rest of the year and took her from an F to a C.
We became very close.
A decade later and we’re still great friends. She still tells this story every time she introduces me to someone new.” Accidentally_Upvotes
29. No One Offers Directions To The Obnoxious Couple
“I live about 20 miles north of downtown, where I take an express bus every day to commute. The crowd is almost always people like me, normal folks just going to work and back, so it’s typically a quiet and very civil commute.
One day after work I get on my bus heading North to go home and notice a teenage couple get on, and they are very loud and obnoxious, but not specifically bothering anyone. After about a minute of being around them, it becomes obvious that they are really really high. They’re yelling and making stupid jokes and swearing. Nothing terrible, just being obnoxious and irritating everyone (including me).
The dude gets a phone call (with the loudest ringtone I’ve ever heard) and begins to have a conversation at the top of his lungs on his phone and he says he’s going to meet them at the Mall. The interesting thing is, that the bus doesn’t stop at the Mall, it makes one stop about 2 miles south of the Mall, and then doesn’t stop again for another 15 miles North.
The entire bus and I all get the same look on our faces as we all thought the same thing: ‘We’re not going to tell them that the bus doesn’t stop at the mall, and this stop coming up was their best shot at finding another bus that will get them there quickly.’ I SWEAR, I have never seen such communal smirks between strangers who didn’t say a word to each other.
As we pass the Mall shortly after, the couple stops telling their stupid jokes and yelling idiocies and suddenly gets panicked. ‘Oh man! This bus doesn’t stop there????’ Still, no one on the bus said a thing to them. The dude gets on his phone again and loudly tells his friend that he’s going to be late but he’ll get off on the next stop and double back.
Of course, it doesn’t happen and everyone knows it’s not going to happen, but we all enjoyed watching their buzzkill in action as it slowly dawned on them just how far off course they were. After they finally got off the bus, the smiles and laughs people had been holding in all came out at once. It was pretty awesome!”
28. Demand We Return Your Toys? I'll Start Sending Back The Wrong Ones
“So I live next door to a couple (a VERY conservative couple) and their twin boys.
The boys can’t be more than 8, and like most kids, they like to play in the backyard. Which is totally fine, doesn’t bother me at all. They’re kids and like to run around. What bothers me though is that they love to throw their toys over into my yard. A lot of toys. Action figures, balls, frisbees, rackets, etc. Them throwing them over doesn’t even really bother me that much.
What bothers me is that the parents keep demanding that we have to throw them back. They don’t ask, they don’t knock on the door and apologize, they just yell over their fence when they know that we are outside and TELL us to give it back. And that bothers me. They also seem to encourage their kids to throw it over to our yard.
So after Christmas, I was at the store and saw that they had a ton of Barbies, nail polish, Bratz doll frisbees, and balls on the clearance. I bought 5 of everything I could find that I knew my neighbors would hate seeing their sons play with. Every time an action figure gets thrown over to my yard, I will throw a barbie back with it.
Every time a ball gets thrown, a Bratz ball will be returned. I already threw a couple of nail polishes over and the twins went crazy. They loved it. They’ve had pink, purple, and green nails all week.
It’s been 2 days and not a single action figure has crossed my fence. More importantly, not a single rude demand from the parents to return them. The kids are having fun, and I got petty revenge.”
27. Tailgater Doesn't See The Speed Bump Coming
“I am driving to work a few months ago and getting close, I have two turns remaining until I turn into the building. It is just a few blocks away. All side streets, no highways involved. This guy behind me is in a black BMW, and he is on me the whole time. I see him checking his phone, then making angry faces at me and getting closer and closer.
I speed up a bit, thinking it might calm him down. 5 over, nope. Anyway, I make the first turn and am now on the street where my building is, maybe 600 yards up ahead. The jerk is still behind me, driving inches from behind me and obviously annoyed that I am still going the speed limit, (maybe 35 on this street). So I speed up a bit and see he does the same.
I drive an eight-year-old Toyota truck, not one of the big huge ones, but not one of the small ones. I do have all-terrain tires, and I have certainly driven through pastures, over rocks, popped a curb or 10 in my time. My suspension is in good shape and has no problem treating my decade-old truck like a truck.
Well as I get closer to my building there is a large speed bump in the street, effectively getting people to slow down as they approach the parking garage entrances.
I look back and see jerk still riding my bumper. I remember thinking to myself I need to slow down for this speed bump, and looking back and thinking, if I hit my brakes, this guy is going to hit me. The plan takes shape in my mind and I speed up.
I am doing about 45 when I hit that speed bump, and yeehaw. I did a bit of a jump and land, never once touching my brakes.
Didn’t even tap them. I gave him zero warning for what was about to happen.
I am watching my rear-view window intensely during this because I wanted to see his reaction. He was cradling his cell phone between his ear and shoulder when he hit. His hood bucked up behind me, then slams to the ground. I see him go flying out of his seat straight up.
He slams his head on the roof of his BMW and his head rolls sideways from impact. Then he slams back into his seat violently. He has a total ‘what the h**l was that’ look on his face as he grabs the wheel with both hands to recover.
… and yes, he slowed right down after that.”
26. Won't Help Me Buy This Vacuum? I'll Just Dismantle It In The Store
“My stepdad went to Sears to get a wet-dry vacuum when my basement flooded. He asked someone on the floor for help getting one of the boxes down but was rudely dismissed. He eventually got one, and when he went to the checkout line, the cashier was busy on their cell phone. He was impatient and annoyed, so rather than just waiting, saying something, or even coughing suggestively, he decided the better thing to do would be to leave the checkout line, open the box, dismantle the vacuum, and leave parts all around the store.
He came back to the house with this story and no vacuum.”
25. I Peed All Over My Bully's Jacket
“When I was about 8 or 9, there was a bully in my school that just happened to be in the same class as me. I was really angry with him cause he took my PSP battery and didn’t want to give it back. So when we had PE I faked being sick so that I could stay in the classroom.
I then proceeded to take his jacket, put it in the bin, and violently pee all over it. Then I gently took it out of the bin, hung it on his chair and I sat down at my desk. So then the kid comes into the classroom after PE and recess, only to find his jacket is completely wet. I said I had spilled water on it.
The amount of satisfaction I got while watching his mom wrap him up in that wet jacket when leaving school, is still with me to this very day.”
24. Be Rude To The Cashier? You'll Have A Rude Awakening When You Get Home
“For about 3 years now I’ve been working at my family’s business. I spent 4 years as an officer in the Army, then 2 years with Homeland Security.
I then met the woman I wanted to marry and decided to move home (she has a great career as an attorney back home) and go to grad school for software engineering.
So, a few days out of each week I go to my family’s store (to give them a break) and run the register, help customers, whatever-needs-doing.
You would not believe the number of people who come through here with their heads up their respective butts.
(And sometimes each others’.)
Our store is in a high-volume tourist area. For the first few months, on a daily basis, I would get people who look down their nose at me. They do not return greetings, they are rude and talk over me, they ask questions and don’t listen to the answer. They answer their cellphones while in mid-sentence with me. There are just a lot of self-entitled jerks who leave their respective cities to go on holiday or to a conference, and then treat people (who they don’t feel like they gain anything from treating well) like dirt.
Well, after a few months of it, I totally altered the way I treat customers. I treat everyone like they are a guest in my store and I do my best to command their courtesy. I won’t talk to people if they are on the cellular, if they are snippy or demanding or discourteous, they get ignored and I give my complete attention to someone else.
If they act bossy or complain about a price or act in any way like they are displeased with something in our store, I (in a very overly friendly way) suggest alternative places ‘such as Walmart’ where they may be more comfortable shopping.
In short, I don’t take anyone’s nonsense, but in a non-belligerent, courteous way.
I’d say that my negative interactions have decreased 85% or 90% just by me setting the tone for how I allow people to treat me, as a customer service/tourism service professional.
There are of course exceptions, particularly loud-mouths who try to show off in groups. I’ve had cracks like ‘didn’t you ever want to do something else with your life’ and ‘you’re still young, you should go to school’ or ‘do you have any plans for your future?’, etc.
I had one man who was with a woman (obviously not his wife, but another conference attendee) tell me (after noticing my blackberry) ‘I guess anyone can afford a blackberry nowadays.’ I smiled and said, ‘I guess so.’ What is funny is that the next day he came back again with the same woman (it was their last day for the conference–I keep a calendar of events) and he was buying something for his kids.
The woman was leaning up against his shoulder as I wrapped the item and ran his card on our I-touch (we have that square reader).
I snapped a photo of the item (which is an option, to attach it to the receipt) and included him and his conference lover in the frame). When he sent the receipt to his email, it included the photo too.
I can only hope his wife saw it.”
23. I Can Understand Everything You're Saying, So You Better Apologize
“I work in retail in Texas and so naturally we have a relatively high Hispanic population which I am very proud of considering I am half Hispanic. Now we close at 9 pm 6/7 nights and people generally like to come in to ‘browse’ in the last 10 minutes so I have gotten used to it but one night topped all others.
It’s 8:50 and my manager and I are going through the process of closing all of the registers and counting our change fund and whatnot. Cue raging Spanish-speaking jerk who must have her 85lb desk brought up to the front at this very second. I very politely tell her I will go pull her desk in just one moment as my manager has money in his hands and cannot and I am just finishing up another transaction.
She huffs and puffs about how terrible the service is but I just smile and go grab her desk. As soon as I get up to the front of the store she tells me that her husband works for UPS and she wants the discount that she read about online (we have a contract with UPS as we are a dropoff location). I smile and say ok do you have the card with you?
Her husband looks at me and politely says no but I can try and pull it up. So after 20 minutes of looking for his information and listening to her complain about how unorganized we are and how we should be fired for not taking care of the customer, blah blah, I tell her that I will take a 10% discount off anyways and when they get the card to bring it in and we would return the difference (UPS discount is 15% or something).
Husband is thankful and dragon-lady goes into overtime nagging. As I am ringing them up she has switched to speaking Spanish to comment on my manager’s and my lack of intelligence. Little does she know I speak Spanish and at the end of the transaction I look at her with a smile and say, ‘You really shouldn’t call people idiotic jerks just because you think they don’t understand.’ She turns redder than ever and shuts up completely while her husband looks mortified and apologizes…”
22. We Messed With The Jukebox To Ruin The Bad Waitress's Night
“It was a packed fun night out with my guy friends. We were ready to have fun and meet ladies. Honestly, none of us drink hard, and rarely does anyone get tipsy. It’s like 7 pm and the bar we go to gets packed, like hella packed, around 9:30.
We sit outside on the patio around, which holds like 7 tables and has an electronic jukebox for the patio area.
We order a bucket of beers (so one for everyone) from the waitress. Fifteen minutes later, when the waitress comes by, we ask when we will get our bucket. She laughs, smiles, and disappears. Ten minutes later, we go to the bar and get beers.
Then the waitress, without the bucket of beer, comes by and gets all mad about how we went to the bar and says she moved our ‘tab’. We politely explain we paid in cash at the bar and there is no tab. We do politely ask for the bucket of beers.
Thirty minutes later, I go to the bar and get a round of beers.
The waitress has not brought the bucket of beers yet. I pay in cash and get the beers back. Once I get back, the waitress comes by, still without the bucket, and goes off on us about how SHE is the waitress on the outside and no one should serve anyone outside tonight but her, and she will get all the tips from the outside area.
We again, politely explain that she still has not gotten the original bucket of beers we keep asking about for the last hour and a half. But we would gladly accept it and pay for it with a good tip if she actually got it to us and how we would prefer to use her. The patio is getting slightly crowded at this point and our table is valuable.
We know this, she knows this.
She explodes at us and accuses us of patronizing her and threatens to kick us out of the place if we don’t leave the valuable table because she knows that now we won’t tip.
That’s the final straw. We politely get up and vacate the table. My friends and I speak for a minute and exchange our cash for $1 bills.
We spend $70ish dollars on the electronic jukebox and set it to alternate between Justin Biebers’ ‘Baby Baby Baby’ and that terrible ‘I’m a new soul..’ song. We left.
We did come back three hours later and the patio was empty. And those songs were still going.”
21. You Want Me To Do All This Work? Too Bad, I Quit
“I had a work colleague who was brought in by management on a large-scale project and was effectively given the green light to do whatever she wanted. This chick got drunk off the small bit of authority she had and made people’s lives a misery.
She absolutely hated my boss and was trying every trick in the book to make his life a misery. My job would take too long to explain but I was effectively a go-to guy for quite a few aspects in the office so I knew I was safe. but she was trying to get him to quit or get me to leave his team.
What she didn’t know was my partner had moved home to Oz and I had kept it a secret that I was going to follow after a few months.
Life was ticking by but this she-beast pig dog was driving me up the wall. My hours were being increased the workload was phenomenal.
I asked her to get someone else in for me to train as I needed time off from time to time and always refused in the most passively aggressive way imaginable. Anyway, the date had been set and projects were coming to a head which would have seen my workload increase to new levels (I was pulling 14 hour days already).
I went up to my head boss and informed him of my decision and the reasons.
He offered to get me a visa for my partner and her old job back if I stayed (helped my ego as I was wondering was I bad at what I did as I was getting so many issues from this woman). I refused, saying I’d need to leave in a month and needed two weeks off.
He wished me well and understood my reasons. All my references were sorted, everything wrapped up.
The beauty of this was my other managers who were involved in the project hated her as well so I told them of my plan. They were all happy to play along and play dumb.
A big meeting was taking place later that day and off she goes delegating like a champ to everyone bossing them all pushing people’s buttons.
Then it came to my turn, I made a point of asking her was there any scope to get someone in to help as I’m slammed as it is. Usual dull tone response of go screw yourself basically. ok, no problem.
She starts to outline everything that’s going and all the work I’ll have to do. The expectations were crazy and her last sentence was, ‘so you’ll have to all that.’
No, I don’t think I will. Her face twisted and she snarled at me. What do you mean you won’t do it? Like I said. I don’t want to do it so I won’t. In fact, I quit. I’m moving to Australia in four weeks and I’m taking two weeks’ holidays before I go. So screw you.
Her face dropped, she was lost for words.
She was scrambling saying I’d have to train someone. I took out a copy of my contract and said my responsibilities were clearly defined and I would honor those ones. As she hadn’t updated my contract and responsibilities I wasn’t obliged to help her. I also showed her the copy of the email I had just sent to HR showing her responses to my objections to the hours I was working and her refusal to train anyone else.
My bosses at the table were losing their minds trying not to laugh in her face. Walked out with one manager getting up to pat my back. Possibly told her to get lost once or twice more and this is what she had coming to her. All of her projects got messed up so other managers were able to crucify her. She also got hauled up for overworking and refusing help.
And the best part is when the head honcho heard he came down to actually say well played on telling her to bug off (he had no idea what had been going on) and she walked by and heard him saying it to me.
The whole office knew what I did and everyone was delighted someone screwed her over. I went back to visit at Christmas and people still came up and said how happy they were I did it.”
20. Take Up All The Space? I'll Just Have To Get In Your Face
“I don’t know how it is in on the underground (tube) in other countries, but here in Norway you absolutely ignore everyone around you while at the same time being very careful not to bump into them or make eye contact. There is no talking, not to each other or on mobile phones. The tube is like a 15 to 20-minute pause where everyone is just trying to hold their breath and wait for it all to be over.
I absolutely love it. It fascinates me.
So around 8 o’clock in the morning, during the massive rush hour where people literally have to stand on top of each other, there was this one jerk sitting in the corner booth with his briefcase next to him. He had his legs spread in this macho stance and he was reading a gigantic newspaper with his coat and scarf opened up wide taking up even more space.
He was literally taking up the space of two people at a time where you have people standing so close as to smell each other’s armpits.
I was sitting right across from him and as he continued to almost brush his newspaper into the faces of the people around him for every page he turned I grew angrier and angrier. So when the lady next to him got up to get off I quickly switched seats and sat down on the bench next to him.
I sat down on his scarf, put on my headphones, and deliberately started reading his newspaper over his shoulder. It was clearly making him uncomfortable (as it should, it is totally taboo on the underground) and he was trying to give me these looks to convey that message while subtly turning away from me.
As he got up to leave he noticed that I had been sitting on his scarf and he was carefully trying to tug it out from underneath me without disturbing anyone according to normal underground etiquette.
I refused to notice and eventually he had to break taboo and ask me if I could please move a bit. I had my headphones on so I pretended to not hear him. After a second or two he just yanked it forcefully from out underneath me. I then looked up, apologized profusely and quite loudly while explaining that it was just that he had taken up so much space, but that was no excuse and it was totally my fault and could he please forgive me?
Everyone around us was looking at us; he got all red in the face and told me it was alright before hurrying off the train.”
19. Won't Move Forward? Get Gum Stuck On Your Heels
“I was at an outdoor concert for one of my favorite bands who were on a once-in-forever-never-again reunion tour. I was ready to have a fantastic time. I was pumped.
This was a standing outdoor concert. No reserved space. Anyone who has been to a concert knows that when a band comes on, you MOVE FORWARD.
A space opened up about ten feet in front of me, so I was naturally going to go for it. Miss Priss in front of me didn’t move, so I asked her if she’d mind if I scooted on up there. She had on these stiletto heels and itty bitty shorts (just really seemed to be trying hard, and it was an August punk concert for crying out loud!), informed me that she in fact would NOT move forward, because ‘that’s someone else’s spot.’ She did the catty up-down eye thing with a hair flip for good measure as she proceeded to turn back around and block my path.
I got more livid as the time passed and she continually darted dirty looks back at me when I was enjoying the concert like everyone else, and she just stood there, arms folded.
I spit my gum out on the concrete. It was August….so it melted. And her ugly heels got stuck in it. She had to hold onto her partner to get it unstuck.
I have NEVER done something like that in my life. I’ve been bullied and walked on for so long, and this is honestly the only time I remember fighting back. Petty and lame, but it felt good at the time.”
18. Honk At The School Bus? I'll Make Your Journey Twice As Long
“I was coming home from school when I was like 13 and my mom was driving. We were the first car stopped behind a school bus that had its lights and signs on to let out the kids. Since you can’t pass them with their signs on my mom and I just sat there listening to the radio.
The bus was apparently taking too long for the lady in the car behind us and she began to honk. My mom goes ‘are you kidding me?!’ After the bus finishes and starts driving away, my mom drives the next 2 miles at 15 miles an hour in a 35 zone just to annoy the lady behind us. She was honking at us the whole way. And with a half-mile to go, we both stuck our hands out the window to give the lady that slow ‘you’re a jerk’ wave.
My mom is awesome.”
17. Refuse To Give Up Your Seat For An Injured Man? No More Fun For You
“My husband had badly broken his ankle two weeks before, but was going stir crazy after being cooped up, so we decided that we would still go to a pub crawl our friends had put together. I agreed to stay sober to drive him between the bars and we figured he would be able to sit once we were there, so it wouldn’t be a problem.
At the first bar, though, there was only one open stool. I helped my husband get over there and set him up, crutches and all, only to have this jerk come running over from a dart game and tell my husband to get up, that it was his chair. I asked if he could please sit there while the guy was playing darts, as he obviously had a cast up to his knee and crutches and needed to sit and the guy was a complete jerk.
Started yelling about being there first, how he was a regular, etc. Two other guys at the bar who were sitting at a nearby table heard what was going on and awesomely both got up so my husband could not only sit down but prop up his ankle. I was upset at that guy though, so I waited, and when he went off to the bathroom, took all the darts and hid them so he couldn’t play anymore.
Screw him.”
16. Be A Rude Customer? I'll Destroy Your Snacks
“Many years ago I used to work in a petrol station and when it got to about 9 pm you had to lock the doors and serve people through a hatch. Well, the majority of people were pretty good and gave you a list of stuff they wanted right at the beginning, but you always got ones who thought it was hilarious to get you running all over and then changing their minds.
Well, one night my shift had finished and I was sitting having a chat with the night shift guy when this jerk came up to the window and started being rude and awkward. So I exacted revenge on behalf of my colleague, by shaking his can of soda and crushing his bag of chips and flake bar. From that night on, every time the rude bugger came we did exactly the same thing, yet he never twigged. It was very petty but it amused the heck out of us.”
15. I Make The Impatient Driver Wait Through Another Red Light
“About two years ago, I was driving to my friend’s place. I was at an intersection, about to make a right on red, when the guy behind me honked THE NANOSECOND the green arrow lit up.
Instead of getting mad, I decided to put him in his place.
I don’t go. He honks again. I turn up the stereo. More honking. I put on the parking brake, and he proceeds to flip out. Clenched fists pounding on the dashboard, turning various shades of red and purple, spittle hitting the inside of his windshield, muffled profanities, you name it. I let him sit there as the light goes green, yellow, red again, and finally red with a green arrow.
As he’s about to burst into a raging cloud, I take the parking brake off and make my turn.
He tailgates me, wrenches the car into the left lane to pass, and as he speeds by, I look over at him, his face contorted in fury….and wave with a smile.
Note: If there had been ANYONE behind him during this, I would’ve turned. No sense getting innocent bystanders involved.”
14. Don't Want To Be A Team Player? I Won't Be One Either
“I used to work as a baseball umpire for little league baseball (7-8 years old) and it was during an all-star game. Since I did not have to wear gear behind the home plate due to it being coach pitch, I would return the bats to the team’s dugout after the kid had batted. Well after a kid had hit I went to throw the coach the bat; while he was looking right at me I tossed him the bat.
He proceeded to jump out of the way in a violent manner as if the bat was going to hit him. (I would always toss the bats to their side for it is easier to catch that way.) He then proceeded to scream at me and accused me of trying to hit him with the bat on purpose. After diffusing the situation in a polite manner and repeated apologies, we returned to the game.
After the next batter had hit I simply remained standing behind home plate leaving the bat where it lay. The coach then looked at me and said, ‘Are you going to get that?’ I simply looked at him and said, ‘I do not want to risk hurting you or a player so you need to get the bats from now on.’ At this point, the fans ( who had been obnoxious all game) and the coach started yelling at me saying how I have no class and professionalism.
The coach still had to pick up the bats after every play while I still gathered the bats for the other team.”
13. Don't Want To Help Out? Okay, But Don't Come Back And Change Your Mind
“So, it was the summer between 7th and 8th grade and I was at a summer camp at my local high school.
Our instructor gave us a design challenge and we got in a group of 3 and the kid with no group joined us. Why did he have no group? He was just playing on his phone. We started brainstorming asking him numerous times for his ideas, but he asked us to leave him alone every time. We finished and picked our design and submitted it to be cut out in wood at our woodshop.
We told him to come with us to the shop and he ignored us. Just as we opened the door to leave, he said he had a few ideas and he didn’t want to be the only one in the group not to do anything. We told him we were already done with that and he said ‘oh’ and went back to his phone. At this point, I was getting quite angry and we went to the woodshop to get our pieces and start sanding them.
After we finished sanding them, the kid came to the woodshop and asked us what he could do because he didn’t want to be the only kid not to do anything. Quickly thinking, one of my members gave him a perfectly sanded piece that he had been working on for the phone kid to work on. I would have none of that. After about 10 seconds I snatched the wood from his hands and told him it was already done.
He seemed desperate to contribute, and said: ‘but I really don’t want to be the only one who did nothing.’ Indicating the finished pieces, I said, ‘You already are.’ He ran out of the room crying. Now, you might think that was cruel, but I’ve shortened this story and we gave him SO many chances and he refused all of them. Our instructor called me out of the woodshop and made me apologize to him without letting me defend myself for what I did.
Afterward, he asked smugly how the team was going, sure that it would be worse. I answered, ‘Fine,’ but I was really thinking ‘faster now that we don’t have to tell a certain idiot to get off his freaking phone.'”
12. Mean Coworker Gets Exposed For Bad-Mouthing The Boss
“Worked with a real jerk.
She treated lots of staff like dirt, didn’t care about anyone that couldn’t support her or do work for her…..and really hated the IT Dept. It would take me ages to write everything wrong about this woman. Let’s just say over half the staff hated her.
I was the main IT Manager at that company for almost 9 years, and I was under special instructions from the Board of Trustees to look at Exec e-mail and report anything suspicious.
(Without getting into details a lot of the board wanted to boot the president of the company and wanted proof of bad decision making.)
So I’m digging through e-mails one day and stumble across this woman and one of the VP’s talking bad about the president of the company. Seriously who’s stupid enough to do that over a work e-mail?
Now none of them know I have access to their e-mail, let alone ballsy enough to do anything.
All of them had Verizon Blackberrys. So I simply forward this e-mail from Jerk’s account to the pres, but at the bottom, I tack on the text line ‘Sent from my Verizon Wireless Blackberry’ or whatever the exact wording was.
The president of the company reads it all, gets furious with the jerk (but not the VP for some reason), and decides to hold a 2 day-long meeting with the execs about what they’re going to do to punish this woman.
When the meeting ended they decided to just dock her pay for one pay period. That’s all I knew that Friday when they got out of their meetings. Cut to the next Monday and I’m approached by the president of the company and told to disable her account and voice mail as she is about to be fired.
From following up with my boss later on I find out that they were so upset she wouldn’t own up to accidentally forwarding the e-mail on (they assumed she butt-dialed / forwarded the e-mail on accident) that the pres decided the jerk wasn’t trustworthy enough to be a director.
Never mess with your IT Dept.
(I left the company before ever finding enough good things on the execs for the board to boot the president, but I do have solid proof of many of the execs cheating on their spouses with each other.)”
11. Try To Con Your Way Into Cutting The Line? I Won't Take Your Order
“I was working at McDonald’s, it was the busiest I’d ever seen it, the day after Thanksgiving. The line is literally out the door, an old man with a walker cuts his way to the front of the line says he needs an orange juice, his b***d sugar is low and he is about to pass out (to everyone who lets him cut in front of them).
He gets to my register, thinks I haven’t heard him making his way to the front of the line, says ‘Good afternoon young man, I’d like a cheeseburger.’ I ring up his burger, smile at him ask, ‘Is that all sir?’ He responds affirmative, I had a runner at this point, so I continue taking orders, but made sure to remove his cheeseburger order from the screen until I get through everyone else’s order in that line and they get their food.
He’s spitting mad at this point and screams at me, the entire store heard, ‘You little jerk where is my order?!’ At that point, I go fill up a cup of orange juice and bring it to him. He looks at me livid, goes and gets my manager, and I said he told all these people he needed orange juice for his b***d sugar, I must’ve cleared his order cause I thought he got his drink.
Everyone eating their food in the restaurant agreed and the man left burger-less.”
10. You Want Us To Clean Every Last Inch? Okay, But It's Gonna Take A While...
“I used to work at Best Buy in Geek Squad and usually the people working the closing shifts had to clean up their departments and such. We had just gotten a new manager who was an outside hire from Circuit City. He was trying to act tough and flex his management powers by being a meticulous jerk about cleaning during closing duties asking nonsense like ‘Did you clean UNDER the registers and Windex and dust, etc.’ about every little thing.
A buddy of mine I was working with and I started our closing duties a little early since the store was pretty dead that night in order to be able to leave at a reasonable hour. We pretty much wrapped up 15 minutes after the store closed so we got the manager to do a walkthrough so we could leave. He’s looking around and everything seems to be in order until he looks behind some signage on a shelf and runs his finger through picking up some dust. He has this huge grin on his face and lets out a little weasely laugh and says ‘Looks like you guys still have some work to do.’ My buddy and I looked at each other and we both just knew what had to be done.
We cleaned the entire department from top to bottom, inside and out. Every drawer was emptied, dusted, wiped down, brochures organized. Every computer in the back was moved and the shelves were dusted and wiped, floors were vacuumed twice, the top stock was neatly arranged, every inch of the department was gone over with a fine-tooth comb, twice in some spots just to take longer.
10 pm turned into midnight, everyone else was long gone except for us 3. The manager was looking weary and tired. Midnight turned into 2 am and we were still going at it when he finally came out of the office red-eyed and exhausted and said ‘Guys, let’s go.’ ‘But we still haven’t dusted under the counters and…’ ‘It’s fine, let’s go.’ Buddy and I took our sweet time gathering our things and clocking out.
We both were also off the next day and the manager had to be in early for a conference call so it made it all that much better. Every time he was the closing manager after that night he never gave us trouble again, simply asking us if we were ready to go when the store closed. Justice prevails.”
9. I Hid All The Menus Right After I Quit
“I worked at a restaurant right out of college before I found my now current job. I left the restaurant because the mean owner decided he was going to start charging all employees $0.28/hr to drink water and soda during their shift. He sent a note on the next paycheck asking everyone to agree or turn in your 2 weeks. We were already making nothing, so that was just the last straw.
On my last day, I hung out after my shift and grabbed a few drinks at the bar. When the manager was in his office and no one was looking, I went around and stole all of the menus in the restaurant, and hid them inside one of the booths (The booths were almost like a box, when the top cushion came off and it was empty inside.)
They didn’t find the menus for 3 days and had to give out carry-out menus. (Eventually, a coworker who I trusted ratted me out.) The one downfall was Captain Jerk Nozzle sent a manager I actually liked into the dumpster to find the menus that were thrown out. When the manager came back with nothing, CDN sent him in to look again.”
8. Hog The Table? I'll Just Go Ahead And Make Myself Comfortable
“I was sitting in a food court quietly eating lunch, minding my own business. This food court is filled with nine-to-fivers. It was crowded so strangers would share tables. There was one sole person sitting at a four-seated table next to me.
Every couple of minutes someone would approach that table and ask the table-hog if it was free to sit. He always replied, ‘Sorry my colleagues will be here soon.’ The entire time I was there, no colleagues came and sat with him nor did it appear that he was looking around for them (as most people waiting for others to join will look around and wave them over).
He quietly finished up his lunch and left. Seems he just lied to have a four-seater table all to himself when even people on a two-seater table were sharing with strangers. Well, that’s not right!
A couple of days later I saw him in the food court again. I was in a bit of a mood so I bought my lunch and pulled out the chair to sit at his table.
As I was sitting down he told me he is waiting for his colleagues. I replied ‘That’s okay, I’ll move when they arrive. I won’t be long.’ He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat as I quietly ate my lunch. I felt very uncomfortable and my heart was racing but I was annoyed at that table hog that I had to do something.
If you choose to have your lunch in a busy food court, you don’t get to live in your own little bubble.
I also just want to clarify a few things – the strangers sharing tables DO NOT speak to each other beyond ‘May I sit here?’ There is no awkward small talk. Everybody eats their own lunch quietly while looking at their phone and makes no eye contact.
Also – strangers sharing tables is the custom for this particular food court. I’m sure it would be strange and weird to sit down at a table with a stranger at the food court in your area, however, this story wasn’t located in the food court in your area. I doubt I would ever find myself in your part of the world and if I did, I would observe the local custom and certainly not sit down at a table with a stranger.”
Another User Comments:
“I have done this before in a crowded movie theater. I believe it was for The Avengers. The seats were somewhat out of the way (long aisle side, at the end of the row), and there were two seats, which was convenient as I was with my sister. He told us that he was waiting on two friends and asked us if we could find somewhere else.
I did not feel like scouring the place for another two seats, especially because I hate walking in front of people and often needed to use the bathroom (I have since just stopped drinking while watching films). Furthermore, I did not believe him, I figured he just did not want to sit by people. He seemed disappointed; however, he did not really follow up. At the time, I believed it was because he was not actually waiting on people.
Just as the movie started… the guy was legitimately waiting for two people who were ‘late.’ Awkward. We obviously found different seats because I felt like a jerk.” Get_Over_Here_Please
7. I Turned My Mean Friends Against Each Other With One Slice Of Cheese
“In high school, most of the people were either really immature or jerks. I opted for the jerks. Being of African descent, my father has an accent. This, paired with mean friends led to constant teasing. My friends were very immature and got their kicks from stealing each other’s stuff and spreading rumours about each other. One day they thought it would be funny to vandalize my property so I put cheese in the bottom of one of their bags (let’s call him Cheese Victim).
I then formed an intricate web of lies to prove it wasn’t me, which involved framing another friend (who decided it would be funny to take my stuff) by getting him to confess. I did this by convincing him it was a ‘funny practical joke’ and he complied… Several months later, they were still going at each other, until I decided enough was enough and I decided to face the music, but only after they got pettier and pettier (e.g putting slugs into bags, yogurts, sabotaging sports kit, etc.)”
6. Break My Cousin's Heart? I'll Mess With Your Toothbrush
“Story 1: My cousin was seeing this jerk that I couldn’t stand. I went to help them move to their new apartment and spent two hours in the car listening to him tell me that he didn’t love my cousin but was in love with someone else.
Two hours of complete self-absorbed verbal diarrhea flowed from his mouth. I didn’t say anything. I was too shocked. After getting them settled, I found his toothbrush and shoved it into the back of my pants. I went to town with that thing. I made sure that I hit every possible inch of my sweaty butt. I then placed it back in his toothbrush holder hoping that the taste in his mouth matched the garbage that was constantly coming out of it.
Story 2: I was living with my grandparents in Alaska when I was a teen. My grandmother managed to upset me one night. Can’t remember what she said. I waited until she went to bed, found some Saran Wrap and a can of shaving cream, and snuck into the bathroom. I lifted the toilet seat, placed an invisible shield of the Saran Wrap over the bowl, and put the seat down.
Next, I sprayed a can of shaving cream all around the seat. I sat there and sculpted the shaving cream until it looked just like a normal seat. I then turned out the light and waited for my revenge.”
5. Try To Split Us Up? I'll Play With Your Heart
“My partner worked with this absolute nutcase (didn’t know he was a nutcase at the time) who also used to talk to me a good bit whenever he was around.
One day he decided to tell my partner that I was flirting with him (I wasn’t) to try to split us up or something. So we both got mad at the colleague and told him to get lost.
A few months later he starts texting me again so I decided I’d find out why he did it. He asked me to forgive him and I said I would and gave out to him for being a jealous little jerk.
He admitted he liked me so I decided to mess with him a bit. I said I liked him too and that my partner and I had broken up soon after the thing I said earlier. Then he went a bit mad and started talking about how much he loved me and about getting married and if I wanted children and how much he liked ‘eating pie’ and all sorts of nonsense like that.
I let this go on for about five days saying I was too busy with work and stuff to meet up, all the time my partner and I are laughing at the nonsense he was saying. Eventually, we decided to put him out of misery and tell him the truth. Needless to say, he went crazy… I felt a bit bad about it, but not really because he was much older than me!
Still the meanest thing I’ve ever done I reckon.”
4. No One's Allowed To Know More About Dinosaurs Than Me
“When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I had a rivalry with a kid who had the same name as me but spelled it differently.
It wasn’t just because of the name, I was known as the main dinosaur-fact kid in my grade, and when he joined our school, people started saying he knew more about dinosaurs, and that angered me. Plus I would talk about dinosaurs with kids who wanted to listen (there were quite a few) and he would suddenly butt in, in a matter-of-fact kind of way, arguing with what I just said, ‘it’s actually pronounced teer-anno-saurus not tie-ranno’ and stuff like that, just to be annoying.
Then one day, (don’t remember what he did specifically to annoy me, and we just happened to be the last ones going in from recess) I stopped him and said, ‘wait I want to talk to you for a sec,’ and when I was sure we were alone, I kicked him as hard as I could in the balls. His face got all red and he fell over crying, and I just went into the class as if nothing had happened. My teacher asked me where he was, and I said that I had reminded him to come in, but said he just kept swinging on the swings.
Of course, the teacher went out to find him and 5 min later he came in with a red face and eyes, with tears and snot everywhere and I was in trouble.”
3. I Made The Jerk Who Had A Crush On Me Cry
“I made this guy that had a crush on me cry when I was in high school.
He wasn’t the most attractive nor was he very bright, he also was a total dirtbag. But he had a huge crush on me, to the point where he would find out who I had hooked up with and slept with and proceed to try and hook up and sleep with them.
He also had his classes and lunchtime switched around so that we had the same lunch and most of our classes were in the same wing/parts of the school.
After a particularly long weekend, he came up to me in the cafeteria and said, ‘We need to talk.’
To which I said, ‘Yeah we do, you need to stop whatever it is you’re doing.
Going after my sloppy seconds and trying to get with me. You think that by sleeping with the guys I already slept with that you’re somehow going to magically get into my pants? You’re a joke, you disgust me and quite frankly I don’t understand why ANYONE would want to be your friend or even sleep with you. You’re a worthless worm and don’t even deserve to stand in the same room as me.
Go screw yourself and don’t you ever dare go after me or anyone else associated with me.’
The guy broke down in tears and left the cafeteria.”
2. Gullible Friend Thinks He's Going To Guest On Futurama
“One of my best friends throughout high school was very naive during Freshman year (I imagine that our pranks on him are the reason he is not so naive any longer). He was just really gullible and it was funny to trick him into believing silly things. He was our friend, and we never tricked him into doing anything that could hurt himself or mean-spirited, but we went too far this one time.
It was a grand finale, and he never fell for anyone’s pranks or tricks again after this happened.
I remember I was watching Futurama on Comedy Central one day after school, and it showed some advertisement for a free app you could download where you create a caricature of someone in the Futurama art style. I was bored, and the app was free, so I downloaded it and then proceeded to create my naive friend as a Futurama character.
Even though I would have to be a bit more elaborate with the details, I thought that perhaps I could trick him into thinking it was concept art for the show, and that I had somehow arranged for him to have a guest appearance on Futurama. I decided I could use this as a test to see just how far I can take these deceptions with him, and I was prepared to get as elaborate as I needed to.
It would be really funny.
I texted him the photo and said something along the lines of ‘Hey dude, look at this! Remember that vacation in California I took a while back? Well, I actually met the creator of The Simpsons and Futurama while he was doing a signing there, and he and I have been in contact as friends since then. I told him about you in one of our letters, and he drew up this sketch.
He wants to feature you as a guest character on Futurama! Isn’t that awesome?’ At first, he saw through my ruse. ‘Haha, real funny,’ was his reply. I can’t recall how exactly I managed to trick him into thinking the photo was indeed real, but I somehow did it (yes, he really was that gullible). But I did it, and I could have left it at that… but I wasn’t about to let the rare opportunity die then and there.
I told everyone else in our group of friends how I had managed to trick him into believing he was drawn as Futurama concept art, and we began planning something bigger. At lunch that following week at school, I got together with a few of them while our naive friend got his lunch. I changed one of my friend’s contact on my phone to say the name ‘Matt’ (Matt Groening, the creator of Futurama), and as my naive friend passed by me, I pretended to talk on the phone with ‘Matt’ (my friend who was on the line had gone outside so that our naive friend could not see him, and he deepened his voice as he was pretending to be ‘Matt’).
I stopped our naive friend as he walked by and said, ‘Hey, I actually have Matt Groening here on the phone, he called me because he wants to talk to you about appearing on Futurama.’ His eyes widened, and he said in genuine shock ‘REALLY?!’
I gave him the phone, and he began talking to ‘Matt’ as if he was in an interview, saying things like ‘yes sir.’ It was priceless.
I went off and told some of my other friends what was going down while the phone conversation happened, and they all got involved in the conspiracy. When I got back to our naive friend, he had told ‘Matt’ that he doesn’t think he could appear on the show, because his mom would get really angry at him for appearing on a raunchy show like Futurama (his mom was pretty strict, and she used to have a tight grip on him).
We thought that it was the end, and I went outside to talk with ‘Matt’. We had to act fast, or this ruse would fall apart and the joke would be over. We were determined to take it as far as we could. ‘Matt’ told our naive friend that there were some complications at the studio and that he could not appear on Futurama… however, he was really good friends with Matt Stone, one of the creators of South Park.
‘Matt’ told our naive friend that he had been telling Matt Stone about him. Matt Stone wanted to feature our naive friend on South Park, and they were prepared to fly him out to Los Angeles so he could do the voiceover work. Our naive friend was hesitant, but his call was transferred to Matt Stone before his protests could be heard (Matt Stone was the same guy too, he just changed the pitch of his voice again, lol).
Matt Stone told our naive friend about how excited he was for this opportunity to work with him, and that they would begin discussing a fair payment for his coming out to LA for the voiceover work. Our naive friend was actually seriously negotiating with Matt Stone at first, and Matt Stone offered our naive friend one million dollars and an all-expenses-paid trip to LA and back.
All this happened while I was telling other people about the magic that had been unfolding, and my naive friend had come up to me and told me about what happened. He told me that he was really nervous and that he was afraid his mom would get angry. Since I was the one who got him involved in the first place, he insisted I talk to Matt Stone.
I took the phone, talked to ‘Matt Stone’, and I then turned to tell my naive friend ‘I’m sorry man, but there’s nothing I can do. You have to talk your way out of this deal yourself.’
This is when everything started to hit the fan. He was getting worried, and I have no idea how I managed to keep a straight face throughout all of this.
He was trying to get out of the contract over the phone with Matt Stone when suddenly one of my friends casually took the phone out of his hand and said, ‘This is (naive friend)’s manager. Mhm… Mhm… Ok, great. (Naive friend), you’re going to LA. I just arranged for you to receive 2 million dollars for this role, and they are going to pay entirely for your trip to and back from LA to do the voiceover work.
You will get a free trip to LA and 2 million dollars!’ Most people would be overjoyed in this scenario because they think they are getting a free trip to LA and an easy 2 million dollars, but this dude was so scared of his mom’s wrath that he went into **ll-on panic mode. He was yelling ‘NO! NO! I DON’T WANT TO!’ and things along that line.
I told him that he was contractually obliged to do this and that he was going to be sued if he did not go. He turned to me and yelled, ‘D****T (my name), YOU’RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME INTO THIS MESS, NOW YOU HAVE TO GET ME OUT OF IT!’ I was asking him why he was even angry, because he was going to get 2 million dollars, and that his mom would forgive and excuse him if it meant they got 2 million dollars out of it.
But the ruse had reached its limit, and we had pushed it as far as we could.
He started crying, so we knew we had to stop then and there. Lunch had actually ended just as he started to cry, so I told him as we were going inside that I had made the entire thing up. He just looked at me with this almost stoic face of judgment, and he didn’t talk to any of us for the rest of the week.
I don’t blame him at all, because it got pretty wicked as we pushed it further and further. We just couldn’t help it, this was the ultimate deception and we pushed it as far as we could. We bought him some cookies and apologized the next week, then we were all friends again and just went on with our goofy ways. Needless to say, he was never quite so gullible after that event.
We’re all friends still too, so I don’t really feel too terrible about what happened. It was mean, but nobody got hurt, we’re all still friends, and now we have a funny story to look back on.”
1. We Framed Our Gross Coworker And Got Her Fired
“I used to work with this girl who was crazy and nasty. She had horrific b.o. and serious dandruff. Management spoke to her about hygiene several times, but it never got any better. She was a complete attention seeker and would act injured or depressed to get attention if we weren’t focusing on her at every moment.
We all wanted to get rid of her desperately, so we decided to get her fired for incompetence.
We started taking money from her till in small amounts, just a few dollars here, a few dollars there, a couple of times a week. She got written up for it, and then we took about $30 out at once. She got her second write-up for that. She was super vigilant and careful for the next few weeks, but one day she had a huge cash sale of over $1000 and my co-worker managed to slip $400 out of her drawer.
She got fired that night, and my pals and I went out for dinner to a steakhouse to celebrate.”
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